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suiana · 4 hours ago

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(yandere! golden boy x reader)

you don't think you've ever felt special. well, maybe your mom or something told you that when you were younger but you never really believed it.

you're too normal.

not exceptionally good at one thing, nor are you decently good at everything. you're okay at some stuff and you don't have any particular interests that you're really passionate about. and you know bevause you've tried changing. it's never worked, it never will.

because you're just you.

sometimes you wish you had talent, because then at least you'd be good at something. to lack the passion but have talent, that would be a dream for you. could you imagine? being effortlessly good and having people flock to you without trying? or even the opposite would be nice. being passionate about something sounds... like a life worth living. like your life has purpose. meaning. so what if you don't have talent? at least you'd want to be better, to improve yourself, to have the drive to live.

you have neither, what can you do?

all you do is go through the motions. wake up, go to work, come home, repeat. you don't have any hobbies other than watching the occasional television. it's not like your life is exceptionally hard either. you're blessed with good parents who love you and a select few friends that you're thankful for.

yet there's this... aching gap in your chest that's yearning for something more. something you can't give it. why? because you're just not special enough. you never are. you know this already, there's no use trying to change it.

so you scroll on social media constantly, trying to fill the empty gap in your chest.

but if anything, it only makes the gap worse.

it shows how much you're missing out, how others have it better than you. how others have something going on for them that lets them stand out. something that makes them alive.

maybe it's just the way things are, the way your life was always destined to be. to be the background character that admires others, never the one being admired. the supporting character that stays stagnant with no character growth.

you're just too average.

just plain old you.

plain like a cracker.

never the first choice, never a choice at all.

you merely exist on this world, you're never truely alive and living life like others. and it's a rather unfortunate thing to be doing when you could be achieveing so much but you're just... you. you don't even know who you are. you're just someone, really.

or at least that's what you think of yourself. he could never see you like that. not when he thinks that you're the best thing to ever happen to him.

he's the exact opposite of you. charming, handsome, an absolute adonis on earth. he's perfect in every sense of the word. and he chose you to give his heart to.

you have no idea why he even fell for you in the first place. you're average. not pretty, not ugly, just somehwere in between. you're not particularly charming or whatsoever, a little awkward but can hold a conversation. sure you've dated once or twice but they weren't serious and you didn't feel bad about break up either. you didn't feel much to begin with.

but with him... well, you think that maybe you just might have a chance.

those encouraging words and affectionate gazes, do you think that perhaps there's someone out there who could potentially change the way you live? the way you've been aimlessly drifting about?

there's just no way.

but you think you'll take the chance. with him, you'll get to do things you've never done before. if not, you'll just go back to where you were before. stuck in the middle, living out your days in an endless cycle of contributing to the Earth's death. there's nothing bad in accepting his hand, his promise for a better life.

at the very least, you'll have someone who tells you he loves you. someone who tells you that you're special and that you mean something. someone that partially fills the hole.

you just want to be somebody, and he'll gladly help you out. he might be a little bit too obsessive and protective, but you guess it's just part of him. he can't change something that makes him who he is, change isn't easy. you know that well.

and doesn't it feel nice to be wanted?

just trust him, everything will be fine. he'll teach you how to live, what love feels like. he'll protect you, take care of you...

"i love you, darling."

are those lies or the truth? you don't know, but you don't really care. would someone who wants someone as average as you ever lie about something like that anyway?

his affection burns with such a hot intensity that you're pretty sure could never be fake. you can see that, you're not blind. he very obviously adores you. that much you're sure.

so just give in already, would you? it would make things a whole lot easier if you stopped trying to resist and make sense of the world. sometimes... some things are just destined to happen. like how you see yourself as shit and he thinks you're perfect. that destiny also includes being with him. he won't accept anything else anyway.

don't worry, you'll be very happy. he's sure of that.

#yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere drabbles #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere concepts #yandere golden boy #yandere golden boy x reader #gn reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

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zeyris-daydreams · 23 hours ago

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Imagine being chosen to become Mydei's wife. And it's not any ordinary thing either, as a chrysos heir he has lots of responsibilities on his plate, and so to help with that, the community tries to give back to the heroes.

Many people feel differently about chrysos heir and their influence over Amphoreus, but the facts remain undeniable; chrysos heir is necessary. And so, to show any gratitude, the community prepares a celebration.

You are dressed in their most flowy clothes as you stand near other brides, ready to be wed, and the nervousness eats at you like an eagle eating a titans liver. The women picked the best women for the heir, and you were dragged out of the comfort of your home to be here—and while it's not a general occurrence to have to take such mistreatment, it's not that general population is special like the heir is, either.

You've heard lots about Mydei, of his nature. They call him cruel.

The only kindness you've been given was one of the women informing you who you would be wed to. And you'd rather not know. Why not Aglaea? Why not Phainon?

The two young men entered the hall while bantering over something, and you had assumed they knew about all of this. Why would you be here otherwise? You clenched the white gowns in your hands as they looked over, you should feel honoured. And you should feel happy to be here.

Yet the bitterness in your chest was unmistakeable.

The ceremony was swift, merely a formality, before Mydei took you home. And you've long realised the tales weren't as true as they sounded. Mydei, once you arrived to his home, left you to your own devices.

And maybe you shouldn't be offended to be abandoned on your wedding night, and, well, all the nights that followed. But Mydei wasn't a bad person.

Something must've been wrong with you.

The part which brought you close wasn't a cliche of treating his wounds, or comforting him when he came home. It was when his exhausted self entered the kitchen after a long day of responsibilities, only to find you leaned over the counter, whisking something in a bowl. The flour was spread around, and the movements of your arm were hasty. You didn't notice him, you didn't look at him at all.

And Mydei didn't know how to feel about this, either. A sense of anger born from a strange feeling of affection, and he left the room before you could've realised.

—

The situation between you and Mydei escalated. It was all in his long gazes and off hand comments that to most would be dismissed as sarcasm.

But not you.

It was all in his little mannerisms and intricacies, and you found he was not only shy, but quite shielded as well. And if it wasn't for you taking all the steps forward, he'd linger in the background—but you were his wife.

Slowly but surely you took off his armour, one that he insisted on wearing even at home, exposing his emotional vulnerabilities as time passed on. Mydei allowed you to be close; never too close.

"You can't be serious" a scoff came from your lips, and he really did it this time. He knew it. But exposing himself to danger was something inevitable for a chrysos heir.

He knew he could die. That would hurt you.

"you can't behave recklessly like this!" You threw the rag on his bare chest, looking up at him from your stance. His body and height no longer intimidated you.

Mydei frowned. "I'm a chrysos heir, don't you know that's what I'm meant to be doing?"

"Not at the expense of your health—" you snapped sharply, and his eyes narrowed at you. "I am your wife, and-"

His hand grasped your jaw, and he leaned that much closer to meet your height, his nose nearly poking yours.

"You're my wife, not my commander, nor my doctor.

So act like it."

#mydei #mydei x reader #yandere mydei #yandere mydei x reader #mydei hsr #hsr yandere #yandere hsr #mydei headcanons #yandere mydei headcanons #mydei hcs #hsr x reader #yandere #yandere hsr men #yandere male #yandere!mydei #yandere!mydei x reader

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paperyowl · 1 day ago

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This is a weird ask. Feel free to ignore it.

But post breakup Buck staring at Rockon thinking Tommy has a date with this hot silver daddy (he ain't blind) and confronted them cos he's jealous to find out he was wrong. They bought him home for either a threesome (cos David never had one) or maybe just cuddles cos looks at the sad puppy and doting on Buck.

(what buck doesn't know is that Donovan is Tommy's cousin with a hilarious sense of humor who texted him the very next day to collect his man cos he ain't sharing his daddy with his cousin's ex no matter how pretty he is)

It's not weird at all. I love the idea! And I have two vastly different thoughts for this - lets go with this one for now. (I might have changed it a little bit - but I definitely need that threesome happening sometime still.)

+++

Pick up, idiot.

Calling me names doesn't make me want to talk to you more.

Tommy dropped his phone somewhere on the couch, not really bothering to check where it fell. He was not in the mood for his cousin's antics. His week had been so busy that Tommy was aching in more places than he knew he could. Maybe was is getting too old for this job.

Or perhaps he'd been slacking. Not eating well, not sleeping enough. These days, Tommy is usually good at taking care of himself. A hard-learnt habit, but he'd put in the work.

Not that it mattered now when his mind kept circling back to the rather sweet sentiment of someone saying, 'You don't have to do everything by yourself' and 'I'll take care of you'.

It was a certain someone with those impossibly warm baby blues that Tommy was trying very hard not to think about. (And failing miserably.) He deserved this. After all, he'd been the one to implode what they had.

His phone kept buzzing. After the third or fourth time - which frankly was ridiculous Don, what the fuck, get a life - Tommy hunted it down in the cushions and unlocked it.

Only to almost drop it when he saw the last message was a photo of -

"Hi, cuz," Donovan drawled, sounding deeply satisfied with himself. But Tommy wasn't focused on that at all.

"How do you have a photo of Evan? Is he there with you? Why is he with you?"

"Okay, first of all, ouch, I think I'm insulted-"

"Donovan."

Tommy heard his own voice rise and wondered since his fuse had become this short. Then he remembered that Donovan had always had this way of riling him up. That's why they hadn't talked in months. They'd been fighting about something; Tommy couldn't really remember what it had been about.

"Figured that pic would get you to call me," Donovan said. "No 'Hello, my favourite cousin, how are you doing?' It's nice to hear you, too, you know."

"Don't be mean, Rocker," another voice said in the background, one that Tommy didn't know. Or actually, he might - he'd heard it once before, and now he could remember what the fight had been about. But his focus was somewhere else completely.

"Hi. How are you. It's been too long. I miss you - is Evan okay?"

Donovan laughed at the way only one of those sentences ended in a note high enough to count as a question. Tommy hissed his name again, and finally got a 'yeah, yeah, alright.' before the phone was handed off to -

"Hi," Evan said softly. He sounded like he'd been crying. His sniffeling was hard on Tommy. "Your cousin and his partner are nice."

Tommy couldn't help but scoff. "Maybe they're doppelgängers."

There is a momentary pause, and Tommy is almost certain that the rustling he hears is a bit of a grapple for the phone. But it's still Evan on the other end when the noise dies down.

"I wouldn't know about that," Evan said. "You never mentioned them."

Fuck.

"Evan-"

"So we're back to Evan?"

"Bu-"

"Don't," Evan pleaded. "Just. Don't."

"Want me to go and rough him up a little? I still remember where he lives."

Donovan's offer sounded weak, and Tommy could imagine the way he had probably put a hand on Evan's shoulder. Or his back.

Evan didn't exactly laugh, but it was similar enough. The sound still unravelled something in Tommy's chest.

"Can we talk in person?"

"I'd like that," Evan breathed. "Just maybe not tonight?"

"Of course. Do you want me to text-"

"I'll take over from here," Donovan said, and Tommy vaguely heard the muffled noise of the receiver being covered. He checked his watch, aware that whatever conversation happened on their end took less than a minute, but to Tommy, it felt like ages more.

"You free tomorrow? Wanna come over for lunch?" Donovan asked without any lead-up, startling Tommy a little. "I somehow think you have a bit more of a reason to say 'yes' this time."

Tommy huffed a laugh.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm free," he said. "Is he alright?"

"Are you going to stop being an idiot?"

"Don."

Donovan sighed. "Listen, I know it's not really my place, but I know you, and I can make an educated guess what happened here."

"I don't like you," Tommy groused.

And like the total bastard that he was, Donovan only laughed and responded, "But you love him."

Like that was a normal thing to say. Tommy spluttered.

"Just be here tomorrow at noon, I'll cook" Donovan completely ignored Tommy's rather childish comment, 'You can cook?' and just went on. "And I'll introduce you to Deacon."

"The ominous partner that you wouldn't tell me more about when I asked?"

That was a rather shortened version of the outright shouting match of a phone call that they'd had all those weeks ago. There had been a lot of implications about very different, and Donovan wouldn't even tell him the name of the man who had him all secretive.

It was easy to read between the lines, and perhaps Tommy had been protective in exactly the wrong way. But he'd never been able to help that when it came to Donovan. The only family member that Tommy cared about.

"He just filed for divorce," Donovan told him. Tommy hissed in sympathy, starting to apologize for the whole fight, but Donovan went on: "And you wouldn't believe the things he can do with his tong-"

"Shut up."

Donovan kept laughing at him, and Tommy felt too exhausted to do something about it. And perhaps a little relieved.

"Noon, you said?"

He might have only imagined it, but Donovan softened a little after that. But he proved he was still an absolute asshole when he yelled out, 'Hey Evan, say goodnight to your daddy,' and like the absolute cheeky brat he was, Evan did just that. (Tommy almost choked on his own spit, but after hanging up, he felt like he could breathe properly for the first time in months.)

#tevan #bucktommy #rockon #tommy kinard #donovan rocker #evan buck buckley #evan buckley #deacon kay #ficlet #prompt #swat fanfic #911 fanfic

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beloveds-embrace · 2 days ago

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This was a concept I thought of for the angsty Dukedom 141, no König, when the maid was rude and went too far. This time instead of the duchess reader getting upset, crying and leaving, she looks at the rude maid thoughtfully and laughs slightly, shaking her head then just leaves the room, completely unbothered.

This leaves 141 team SHAKEN UP because they know the maid went too far and they feel so guilty, but the duchess had such a strange reaction and that scares the 141. They decipline the maid possibly still fire her and then after a while John maybe guilty approaches the duchess's room door but he receives no answer so he leaves, planning to try to talk to her the following morning only to find her room empty with no sign of the duchess.

Panic being the most imidiate reaction, John gets everyone to search the estate for her but she's gone. Upon further inspection Johnny and Kyle find some clothes and some food missing.

Meanwhile, duchess has already made plans to leave the estate, turns out she kept in touch with an old friend and a new business venture opened up and the duchess was very business savy (she hid this from John and her parents because her parents especially would not have approved). This new business was something she had set up with a handful of trustworthy friends who were her found family and accepted and loved her for who she is. They were keeping in touch with her via letters - they were sneaky about it making sure the letters had a recognised hallmark of the duchess's family emblem on it - John did not know or pay attention to the fact that the duchess dislikes her parents.

Due to this the close friends of the duchess knew about her feeling neglected and unhappy in her marriage so they made plans to collect her and it just so happened to work out that it was the afternoon of the new maid crossing the line with her. Their plan was to bring the duchess back to their shared place of business because they were all very successful.

The duchess was forced to marry John by her parents but she always planned to help her friends with this business. If her husband was kind and supportive she would be happy to open up about her business savy side and would stay married but if she ended up in an unhappy marriage (as she was in currently), she always planned to move into the accommodation near their business once they started earning good money on what they were selling. When she made enough money to ensure her survival as an independent business woman she would file for a divorce.

Background to the business itself is that her male friends are the face of the business but the duchess and a few others are the brains behind it. She knows what sells and because of her good business and marketing instincts it takes only a few months after her unfortunate marriage to John for her to get enough earnings to be able to leave.

Following the duchess leaving the guys all search for her but find nothing because the duchess burnt all of the letters sent by her friends as soon as she read them and no one paid any real attention to her when she was around they just assumed her family would know where she was and when even her family didn't know the men all REALLY panic.

A few months down the line divorce papers are mailed to John, the duchess has signed her part, he just needs to sign his and post it to the address specified.

John and Simon both investigate the address specified and they meet one of the duchess's friends who is not so impressed with them desperately trying to meet with the duchess after making her miserable. He says he will only get in touch with the duchess and ask her to contact them if John meets her halfway and signs and hands over the divorce papers.

John is red with anger and anguish and Simon is tense, with fury in his eyes, but the male friend of the duchess is very big, strong and equally angry and overprotective of the Duchess. He is not letting these pathetic men get near her unless they do something that will put her happiness before their need to manipulate her into speaking with them out of some misguided sense of guilt.

John says he will think about it and will come back once he has made a decision. With all of 141 seeing that they are limited in what they can do unless they meet her halfway John returns with Kyle this time with the papers signed. Johnny and Simon are investigating readers friend trying to find dirt on him but he is too clean and they are frustrated because they can not risk stirring up trouble with him without severe backlash because the items being sold by this man are resources used by John and Simon and they would be at a severe disadvantage if they were not able to buy things off him anymore.

Reader is just living her best life and focusing on herself and doing what she loves. She is a girl boss who is too independent, intelligent and resourceful to be held down by the people in her life who were trying to hold her back (her parents and the 141). She receives the divorce papers and thinks it's probably the best thing John could have done for her and files them intending to fully move on with her life until her friend explains that John signed the papers because he wanted to meet her halfway but he really wanted to talk to her in person about how they treated her in order to apologise. All of the 141 do as well as the servants at that estate that neglected her too. Her friend acknowledges that it's up to her on what she wanted to do and that he will always support her either way.

I've kind of left it on a cliffhanger but I thought it would be best to leave it open ended and sorry about the long ask I just love the angsty Dukedom so much but I also love it when the neglected main character is so incredible and resourceful in spite of her challenges that she is able to leave behind the people who have neglected her for healthier relationships where she can grow as a person and it is only as she leaves that those who neglected her realised that they messed up so bad.

Love your writing so much and thank you for your creative brain the stuff you write is incredible.

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gold-pavilion · 3 days ago

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Belonging and humanity (some more Ivan thoughts)

There's a big difference between knowing for a fact that you're a human being and getting to FEEL part of humankind. That's a thing that I feel Ivan sorely lacked. Some of his issues can definitely be traced back to it.

There's three things we know for certain about Ivan's early childhood nowadays, so let me start from those:

There were other humans around him in the slums, at least other children (for now it doesn't seem there were adults around, or none who would approach or care for the children).

However, we also know Ivan did not learn social behavior properly; for example, how or when to smile.

Going by the lonely tone of the song Nowhere and its emphasis on having no one, plus the previous point, we can infer there was no meaningful social contact with any people he knew/saw.

Ivan has been described as someone who is always learning to survive and his time in the slums must've been the same, after all; it's most likely that the other kids were competition to him (for food or other resources), threats or simply strangers with whom connections were never made.

That's to say, there were humans around Ivan but no "human community".

And that's the thing: take someone who went through a critical developmental stage with no one to care for or be cared by, learn social behavior with or practice the emotional exercises of understanding and empathy - ask that someone what "being a part of humankind" feels like, and what can he even make of it? It must not mean much more than categorizing a species, no feeling involved. And anyway, what difference does it make if there's anything else to say or not?

It's not like those are easy questions. None of the ALNST cast, with all their limitations, would be able to respond comprehensively.

But it changes things, the differences are there.

There are things that Till knows, from having a mother, learning from her and being enriched emotionally by their interaction, that I don't think he could describe but certainly has within him. Or Hyuna, who had a brother to feel that family bond and sense of community with, learning all sorts of positive social skills and having a heart full of room for empathy as she always looked out for the little Other Person next to her.

Beyond knowing their species, they know what it MEANS to be the rare and amazing human creature from these experiences of connecting, teaching, being taught, holding things in common, giving and receiving love. On an instinctual level they accessed what it feels like to be "part of humankind", which is so cool about them!!

Then you have cases like Mizi being too trusting of aliens because she was raised to feel community with one, Sua being mostly withdrawn because she didn't have a lot of warmth and community around her, Luka who was deprived of everything and then clung too hard to his first proper bond...

And Ivan, with his empty circumstances. There are a million things Ivan didn't learn and doesn't KNOW he lacked.

Of course that with his background he'd end up 1: being defensive by nature, having selfish tendencies, trouble processing emotion and socially weird habits and 2: feeling like a twisted being because of it, which is such a core aspect of his character. A human with less humanity but no idea why or how.

He adapted himself a lot once adopted, of course, and caught up an even bigger lot in his time in Anakt Garden. But I don't think he ever understood why he was "more twisted than others" and honestly, his intelligence and observance doesn't do him any favors on that front; on the contrary, I think it made him more aware of the gaps between him and other people.

And I really have to wonder if his experiences around the segyein are all that different, emotionally speaking.

I mean, of course objectively they have to be, but… his adopted life was a matter of observing his new environment, feeling like an absolute stranger because he's another species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible in order to make himself a desirable pet that would be kept around. His experience being sent to Anakt and put in a human group was, again, feeling like a stranger because he's different to others of his own species, but learning and adapting as quickly as possible, eventually making himself an "acceptable", charming, absolutely cagey but near-perfect man. He succeeded both times.

He never did get rid of that awareness of being "twisted", though. After all, he also didn't unlearn all his survival patterns or fix the weak spots in his emotional development. As much as he progressed, the sense of not quite belonging and the faint relationship with his own humanity stayed. (With one big exception, but I'll leave that thought for the end of this ramble.)

In a way, I feel like this is exactly what made him so successful in segyein society as far as he lived. So adaptable that beyond being a good pet, he could also be trusted with and hold down an actual job, decent (faked or not, still good) relationships with segyein and, if he had any chance of survival, probably the capacity to live in their society with moderate perks.

Being an adaptable stranger who belonged nowhere in the first place… I think it's what made him more willing, more capable and more okay with mixing with the segyein like that, paired with his intelligence to pull it off.

No human pride to sacrifice. Not much humanity in the first place.

Except for the one noteworthy exception that shifted Ivan's growth: his relationship with Till.

Not only did Till embody things that Ivan lacked, which fascinated him from the start, but through his bond with him Ivan developed a lot of those traits and sensitivities that constitute peak humanity. It's a bit of the "love will make you human" trope, but on god does it apply. Ivan learned to care, to feel and to love, at times selfishly, at times messily. Buth he got pretty good at it; so much that love made him selfless and sacrificial in the end. He became a little more human for the object of his feelings. It didn't't erase all his struggles or fix his issues at large, but it was a lot. Of course he'd die thanking Till.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to get off my chest!

Humanity is a tough theme with Ivan, so I hope my thoughts about it were an interesting read.

The usual disclaimer: I've talked about 1 aspect of Ivan in this post, which does not mean this is all there is to his character or that I aim to invalidate other aspects. Just rotating this one in my head.

#alnst #alnst ivan #alien stage #alnst till #ivantill #alnst meta #thoughts and talk and so

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live-laugh-lenney · 19 hours ago

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any george or arthur angst 🙏

a little inspiration from the new platform roulette...

hurt.

that's how she felt whenever she heard arthur deny the relationship that they had been settled into for the last seven months. with every joke about being single and every joke about being with a woman alongside every laugh he let out when one of his friends made a joke about his dating life and his one-liners in an attempt to pick up women, it tore into her and broke her just a little more each time.

at first, it was something she was really thankful for. he wanted their relationship to be taken slowly, at a pace she was comfortable with, so she wasn't scared off by the way her whole life would become a whirlwind of chaos once his fans knew who she was. from the way her social media would have taken off to the way she'd have been a name they searched for online alongside his own to the way her name would have been in tweets and comments on his instagram, in both nice ways and hated ways. and, he wanted to protect her from the nonsense that she would have been flooded with.

but now?

now she wanted to show him off. she wanted to be shown off. she wanted to live their life together in public and not have to feel like she was being hidden away anymore. she wanted to be taken on dates, double dates, she wanted to share their relationship online with their little milestones, and she wanted to partake in the videos their friends post online without being kept in the background.

she didn't want to hide away anymore.

"people speculate about us anyway so would it be such a problem if we told them what they wanted to hear?"

what had started out as a peaceful night at home, waiting for the long-awaited release of arthur's appearance in platform roulette, had soon turned into a night full of anger and upset. their dinner getting forgotten about, the bottle of wine on the table being ignored and the tv had been paused on a moment that yn couldn't just let slide.

"you might be ready but," he runs his hands through his hair and tugs on the strands that his fingers managed to catch in his fists, "i might not be as ready as you. i don't want to rush things."

"oh, come on, arthur," she scoffs heavily and places her hands on her hips, "we've been together for seven months, can't you see where i'm coming from? or are you that blindsided and scared that you'll lose your fanbase because you won't be the cute, single man in videos anymore?"

the silence that soon followed was deafening.

and thick.

suffocating her with regret because she knew she spoke the words before she could think about how she wanted to get her point across to him. her heart dropped in her chest, almost the pit of her stomach, and she couldn't bring herself to look at him because she knows he'll pull a face that would break her into bits.

"you think i care more about the numbers on my socials than you?"

"that's how i'm feeling right now, arthur."

"do you know how stupid you sound right now?" his voice was thick and laced with anger, the words rolling off his tongue with a hiss, and it dawned on her that, maybe, there was a better way to have brought the topic up and not to cause a fight, "because you sound absolutely ridiculous."

"how would you feel if i went online and started acting exactly how you do in these youtube videos? pretending to be single with such a terrible dating life?"

his silence was just the answer she needed.

"exactly."

all yn could do was busy herself as she collected their dirty plates, food having gone stone-cold and wasted, trying her best to ignore how she was feeling deep down. she hated arguing with him, and the feeling was mutual from arthur, because she hadn't brought up her thoughts with the intentions of picking a fight.

"what do you want me to do, yn?"

"i want to feel like you care about me. i want to feel like you love me enough to show off how happy you are," she glances at him and he stands in the middle of the room like a lost puppy, completely unaware of what to do in that moment, "are you embarrassed of me?"

"embarrassed?"

"it's not a trick question, arthur," she grumbles lowly, scraping off the food from the plates and placing them in the kitchen sink, "are you or aren't you?"

"why would i be embarrassed of you? i have no reason to feel like that towards you, at all," his voice gets louder and she soon realises he's in the kitchen with her, his presence filling the room and she hears the wine glasses, that were in his hands, being set down on the side unit, "i'm far from embarrassed of you."

"then why won't you make us public?"

he gulps back the lump in his throat and leans against the counter, bending his elbows and resting his hands on the edge to keep his body propped up, and it's the first time where they're looking at each other without darkness taking over.

"i'm scared for you," he admits softly, "i want nothing more than to be able to talk about you, about us, with my friends in the videos we film out and about. but i know how brutal people can be and i don't want you to be a victim of social hatred because of who you're with."

"you can't just assume that, though."

"i've seen it happen to my friends, yn," he says; because he had. he'd heard stories about how chip's girlfriend struggled to adapt to his life as a youtuber, how theo's partner would read about herself online to see what people were talking about, how shannon felt when she was with chris. he'd heard it all and seen it all happen. "i didn't want you to tear yourself apart, to become a shell of yourself, because of some of the bullshit people write online."

the words wants to come out but she couldd't speak.

she'd overreacted and it definitely dawned on her, in that moment, that it was something that didn't need to be argued over.

"i just want to keep you safe, yn. that's all."

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solenstelluna · 10 months ago

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Been playing through Persona 3 FES recently and it made me wanna try drawing something that looked like a scene with these two. Plus, just try to refine my style in general a little bit. I think this attempt turned out ok.

#pokémon #pmd #pokémon mystery dungeon #skitty #riolu #mace the riolu #suzy the skitty #didn't really know what to do with the background for this one #so it just kinda became something i thought would be simple but cool #one of these days i want to make a complex background though #i just don't have it in me today i guess #As for how Persona 3 is going I am literally almost done #I just need to finish the final boss but that's been taking days at this point and I am so tired of it #Like YES I GET IT THE ARCANA IS THE MEANS BY WHICH ALL IS REVEALED STOP KILLING ME AT FULL HP WITH NIGHT QUEEN AND A CRITICAL ALMIGHTY #edit: finally finished persona 3.#i cried.#i really did.#god this fucking game man

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claitea · 22 days ago

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"Seeking to ease the burden of solitude, lonely Trainers tell Zoroark to show illusions to them."

#pokemon #pokemon black and white #pokemon bw #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #pokemon n #zoroark #clai's art #god damn ittttt its 3am again i need to. stop trying to do all my art in a single day but i know if i stop i might not finish ever BDJBDHFB #anyway heehoo. ouch #i said before that i hc zoroark to have Exceptional memory that they create their flawless illusions with but--#--i like the idea that its been so long. so much has happened. that the illusions of his memories of darmanitan have faded #i'm thinking like. as kids zorua did this all the time. conjuring illusions of all the pokemon he and n played with in the forest #and pretending to play with them again. at the time they didn't think they'd be in the castle forever #but as the days went on and n understood his place in team plasma more. they realized they wouldn't leave for a long time #so bringing up the forest became bitter. zoroark stops doing it. only when n is at his absolute lowest during bw1 does he ask--#--for zoroark to bring it up one last time. it doesn't really help. but they're both not sure what else could #my final point. i hate drawing backgrounds BDJVDJFHJD #cryign. to bed with me i cant keep staying up like this

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fandom-susceptible · 18 hours ago

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I've had a lot of thoughts of my own on this topic and I've posted about it just a few minutes ago, but yeah, I'll add onto this because I have thoughts specifically about this analysis too.

So, I do have one small disagreement, which is that I don't think Ezran was burying the hurt when he found the shadowhawk arrow. He says he'd bandaged it and let it heal, and I really think they meant it that way, because that's a narrative statement, not in his thoughts or dialogue. Grief never goes away, obviously, and the pain of losing Harrow will never be gone, but the wound can heal, and I think that's all they meant there. It's not raw and open anymore; finding the arrow just scraped at it. I will come back to this in a minute though.

As far as Rayla's perspective goes, I do agree with what you said, but I also think an important part that keeps getting left out of this conversation is that she is not human. I keep seeing people applying human values and human perspectives to her character, and it happens within the show too (Callum calling her prideful for wanting to stay at the Storm Spire in Season 3 is a prime example of this), because she's so sympathetic to the humans that they forget that she isn't one of them. She is coming at this situation from a very different cultural background.

Her culture, for one, does not see death as an end. Harrow has just moved on to the next phase of his spirit's cycle. Death is a more merciful end than what she was granted for helping Ezran, so while she knows Ezran is human and doesn't outright accuse him of betraying their friendship, it does sort of make sense that her instinct would be to feel betrayed. In her culture, standing by her family and her people are more important than life itself. She's already betrayed those values once to save Ezran and Zym, in a way that resulted in her banishment and, according to Chasing Shadows, her death, culturally speaking. Ghosts aren't just banished, literally her identity as a Moonshadow elf is considered to be worse than dead by her own people, even her name is banned, and she's been grappling with that for years. Now, she has the chance to stand by her father, to finally do something that aligns with both her wider world values and her cultural ones, and Ezran has become an obstacle. She's also well-established as being less than careful with her words when she's distressed.

Callum's role in this also rings very true to me. I see the point about how he maybe shouldn't have led with calling his brother a jerkface - but as an older sibling, yeah, that tends to be how you get the little shit's attention if they're being particularly assholish. Heavens know my brothers and I have said far worse. Whether it's the best approach is highly debatable, but as a writing choice, it felt really good to me because it made the brotherly relationship feel very real in that moment, especially since that's a word we've already seen them use.

Overall, I agree with pretty much all of the OP's points about Callum's arc here, but I'd like to point out that he's falling prey to the same thinking as what's left the fandom startled by Ezran this season. He describes Ez as "not himself" and is convinced the anger will cool with time, and I just don't know if it would have. I'll get back to what I think Ezran actually needed in a moment, too. Callum has tried to talk Ezran down and make peace between them at every turn, even promising Rayla he wouldn't drive a wedge between them to help her, and I do think that people who call him a doormat for Rayla are missing that bit. He didn't just betray Ezran, he betrayed Rayla's trust as well, even if it was to help her in the immediate moment.

Callum also explicitly makes sure to tell Ezran, even while he's defending the elves' retreat, that he will always be there for him as a brother. All Ezran has to do is ask. He is leaving because he cannot stand by Ezran's actions as a king, which I think is a really important distinction to make, and I think it's a driving force of what helps Ezran forgive him later. It's one of the bits of evidence that will eventually build into Ezran realizing he's working towards a mutually assured destruction plan rather than one of peace, and I just don't think Callum could have gotten that message across with a less drastic reaction. He's also not abandoning Ezran on his own; Ez is a fully realized king with Soren, Corvus, the Council, Zym (who he also identifies as a brother) and more to support him emotionally.

Speaking of, I do actually want to point that out about this whole situation as well, is Soren's role. He mentions that he wishes he hadn't seen the elves escaping, but his loyalty outweighs his sympathy. I think it's also very important to why Callum was willing to leave; because he and Soren have come a long way, and Callum knows he's leaving his younger brother in very capable hands. Soren is also an older brother, and one who takes a very personal joy in being one and helping Ezran have moments of just being a kid. Callum knows that.

Finally, to circle back around to Ezran, I don't think that he buried his feelings about Harrow's death. That said, I do think that his background including his father's death and taking the throne far too young heavily affects his reaction to having his home destroyed. What happened in Katolis was terrorism, a mass murder and destruction that would shake anyone, and it challenges everything Ezran has been fighting for since Harrow's death. From Ezran's thesis of forgiveness and how all violence spirals, the attack on Katolis is senseless, because there was nothing recent to trigger Sol Regem's revenge - which is why his anger gets turned on Runaan, because Runaan also challenges Ezran's beliefs about violence.

Rayla defends Runaan in the early seasons by saying "It's a job" about assassination, and Runaan himself in Bloodmoon Huntress says "I kill people. I don't judge them." That puts him in a very different category than say, Zubeia, who acted out of grief and rage, or Pyrrah, who retaliated against an attack on her, or Harrow, who acted out of personal grief, or even Avizandum, who acted in defense of his people, or even further back, Viren and Harrow and Sarai and Annika and Neha who acted to save theirs. All of them made choices driven by emotion, by some variation of love, whether it be living love or grief and anger. Runaan isn't like that. Runaan just takes without personal bias, which challenges Ezran's whole worldview and puts him in the same category of senseless violence as Sol Regem.

And that's why I think Runaan's tearful apology and confession in the end actually got through to Ezran, and why I don't think anything less than the breakdown with Callum and that confrontation would have done it. Ezran needed to see that Runaan has values and reasons, even if they're not good ones, and that he's willing to lay them aside to prevent further bloodshed. Rayla knew, of course, but she's been making a point to avoid the topic of their fathers since Season 1, and we've seen no evidence she broke that habit, so Ezran doesn't know Runaan the way we do even through her. I think it was less about Ezran needing Runaan to take accountability (we certainly haven't seen that from Zubeia) and more that he needed to know that Runaan wasn't the exact sort of threat he's supposedly meant to combat. Andromeda, one of the other assassins, explains in Bloodmoon Huntress that sometimes they know, without a shadow of a doubt, that a person brings more pain and violence into the world than they do love, and that's when their death becomes more valuable than their life. Ezran made his peace with that very concept during this season because of Aaravos. He imprisoned Runaan at first due to his own values against murder, but he still didn't understand why Runaan could do what he does. I think the final confrontation with Aaravos, coming after him with the Nova Blade, was Ezran's turning point and why he's able to understand Runaan's choices in the end. I don't think a confrontation earlier than that would have worked out - not with Callum as a mediator. (Soren or Amaya, with their backgrounds a soldiers, might have better luck.)

Also, I want to briefly touch on Runaan's behavior during all this too, because he surrendered himself to this consequence. He took one look at Soren, most likely recognized him, and knew it wasn't a fight he could win, so he didn't bother trying. He also is notably nervous about their escape, but goes along with it because like Rayla, he isn't human, and his cultural values drive him home more strongly than his personal choice to take the punishment he's being given, because he's only just begun the mental deconstruction that continues to drive him throughout the season. His cultural values got challenged by his love for Rayla in Season 1, and seeing the consequences of those actions in Katolis started his whole worldview to crumbling. But that's only just happened at this point, so when given the chance by Rayla, he goes for it, clutching at his dedication to his home and family as a shred of stability in the worldview he's just had broken apart. But he never once defends himself, physically or verbally, against Ezran's accusations or the soldiers, which is pretty telling.

So all in all, I agree that it was a complicated situation, and none of them were wholly right or wholly wrong morally. I do think it was actually pretty well in-character for all of them individually.

Season 7 Conflict between Ezran, Callum, and Rayla: Who’s Right and who’s wrong?

Or perhaps...

I feel like this has been a topic of heavy debate across the fandom and I guess I wanted to share my own perspective on this as well. I wanted to try to dive in and explore each of these characters’ stances on things, since in my opinion, each of them had valid points. Long post ahead!

Starting with Ezran, we’re all mostly used to him being an innocent, kind and sweet cinnamon roll that’s so quick to forgive others who have wronged him. And it’s not just us, but even the characters in the show too, which in some cases can be used against him (which I won’t get to here since this isn’t the point of this post). But I’m mentioning this here because this is major trait of his that we saw being challenged this season.

Well, I would argue maybe even since season 6:

Which not gonna lie, that was both surprising but also very satisfying, especially after all Viren has done in arc 1, especially in season 3, you could argue it was well deserved, and even Viren himself saw that. But getting back on topic, I feel like we start to see a more vengeful side of Ezran this season, especially after the trauma of having his whole kingdom that he’s ruling, his own home, be completely destroyed.

This itself was traumatic enough to change Ezran completely, especially after finding out that it was Sol Regem that destroyed it in a matter of minutes. And not only that, but also seeing Runaan, the very assassin who ‘killed’ his father that same day, lead him to push all the blame onto him. That everything changed since the night Harrow was ‘killed’ by him and Ezran was eventually forced to pick up the burden of being king and live through all of this.

Now I get that there’s alot of people in the fandom pointing out the hypocrisy of “how come he forgave Zubeia, who was the one that sent Runaan to kill Harrow, but he couldn’t forgive Runaan?” Which I would argue narratively, that is the point and it was something called out by Callum. I do personally think that perhaps, if Ezran may have crossed paths with Runaan at some point before the destruction of Katolis, he could have had a different response? Not necessarily saying it would be positive but perhaps, not as vengeful or angry?

I also wanted to point to something interesting in the short story Deep Below, which is set right before season 5 in the storm spire when he went to get the siren stone:

The screenshots above are on Ezran’s reaction to seeing the shadowhawk with the red blood ribbon that confirmed Harrow’s ‘death’ and the emotions he felt. But not only that, it also felt like he chose not to let himself properly deal with that anger and instead bottled it up for the sake of keeping the peace that he fought so hard to keep. But of course all of that came tumbling down after the destruction of Katolis leading up to the immense change in Ezran’s behavior. We see him letting out all of bottled up anger once he saw the assassin who was involved in the direct killing of his father that lead to the complete change of his life.

Now moving onto Rayla, I think it’s important to remember that for over two years, she had no idea what happened to her birth parents or Runaan but only that Viren had something to do with their disappearances. Then by the end of season 4, she received the coins that contained their spirits and since then, it’s become one of her primary goals to free them, even if she had to set that goal aside for the sake of saving the world. Then getting to the end of season 6, she was forced to let go of her birth parents after she finally reunited with them after many years, just so that she would let them be together in the afterlife, while choosing to bring back Runaan so that she can finally reunite him with Ethari.

Now I know that ideally, she shouldn’t have brought Runaan with her to Katolis, but because she made a promise to Callum that she wouldn’t leave without him again and Runaan was still recovering and more desperate than ever to reunite with Ethari, she couldn’t leave him on his own. I also think it wasn’t the best idea to let Runaan walk around freely in Katolis but I’m guessing none of the characters were expecting Ezran react in anger since they were mostly used to him being so forgiving.

Now we get to the next episode where Rayla, who was finally able to bring back one of her parents, has had that parent taken away from her once again. We see Callum trying hard to convince her to be patient and give Ezran some time to process everything that’s happened and that he would eventually forgive Runaan. But then we get to the council meeting where things get especially heated.

While I do think that Rayla didn’t bring it up or address this in the best way, I do think she made some really valid points:

And I know many people in the fandom have been arguing that Rayla was 'unsympathetic' towards Ezran but honestly, I think an argument can also be made that no one was sympathetic towards Rayla wanting to bring her family back together except for Callum, and I will talk more about him in detail later.

I also think another important detail we need to remember is that when it comes to this conflict, there’s a major power imbalance here. While yes, Ezran is a traumatized 12 year old kid dealing with the destruction of his kingdom and seeing the face of his father’s killer, he’s also the king who has the final say in everything. It’s his words and his orders against anyone else’s objections that get followed. He also has the backing and loyalty of the council, crownguard and all of the Katolis guards too, while Rayla only had the support of Callum in this situation.

And because of how things went at the meeting and seeing how Ezran wouldn’t listen to her and forgive Runaan right away, she decided to break Runaan out, despite Callum trying to convince her to be patient and give Ezran more time, to which then she responds:

Which then Callum fully accepts her decision and even offered to help (which again, I’ll talk more about later). But while the ideal thing for Rayla to do was to be more patient give Ezran time to do the right thing, which he eventually did at the end of the season, it’s also understandable why she couldn’t stay patient. Because after years, she finally has the opportunity to reunite what remains of her own family again.

Now I get to my last point, Callum. Despite seeing a lot of hate being directed towards Rayla and Ezran for their different stances, from what I’ve seen, I feel like Callum has been getting savaged a whole lot by different parts of the fandom, despite being caught in between both sides and torn between two people he loves. I feel like more people are willing to look at the complexity of the situation when it comes to Ezran or Rayla, but when it comes to Callum, his stance is more often reduced to: “he’s a terrible brother who betrayed Ezran because he doesn’t sympathize with him” or “he’s a doormat for Rayla who unconditionally worships her even at the expense of others or the greater good” while leaving out so many details, events and aspects of his overall character. Now I’m not saying that Callum handled things perfectly with Ezran and nor am I saying that he wouldn’t do reckless and crazy things for Rayla, but I feel like there’s so much more to him that just gets heavily ignored.

So as I’ve said before, Callum was caught in between rising tensions between Ezran and Rayla. While he did support Rayla and wanted to help her reunite her family, I just think it’s wrong to say he was “unsympathetic” towards Ezran because:

And that to me isn’t what unsympathetic looks like. Not to mention he kept trying to convince Rayla to be patient and give Ezran time, and even when Rayla went to break out Runaan, Callum still went and made an attempt to talk to Ezran. And like I don’t think it was right of him to call his traumatized brother a jerk face when he went to talk to him lol, but we know how Callum can be when he gets frustrated, and he even apologized immediately and changed his tone afterwards. We then see Ezran open up to Callum about how his life completely changed after Harrow was ‘killed’ and he was forced to take up a heavy burden at a young age. While ideally I do think that Callum could’ve verbally expressed more understanding towards what Ezran was feeling and dealing with, I do think he made a valid point when he brought up that Ezran forgave Zubeia despite her being the one who sent Runaan after Harrow. Now getting to my next point, this scene in particular:

What he said here made me think back a lot to arc 1, particularly, some of the stuff Harrow said in his last conversation with Callum:

And some things he told Rayla when she told him about her mission to avenge Avizandum and the dragon egg that was initially believed to be destroyed:

I also thought of some of the things Harrow told Callum in his letter:

And lastly something he said to Rayla in season 3 in their conversation after looking at Avizandum's stoned body:

I think it’s important to remember that yes, even Callum himself is aware of the violent cycle between the humans and Xadia and actually wants to end it. And while yes, Ezran grieving Harrow’s death and feeling so much anger towards Runaan was completely valid, I truly believe that Callum was also motivated in trying to convince Ezran to not take part in this cycle of vengeance. The very cycle that killed their mother, that lead Harrow to kill Avizandum in vengeance, which he himself even regretted and recognized was a mistake that lead to Zubeia sending the moonshadow assassins to kill him. And this was something that he brought up to Callum in both his last conversation and his letter, hoping that Callum and Ezran would break this cycle and not repeat his mistakes. And this was what Callum was attempting to do with Ezran, having even reminded him that this was the cycle of violence he was fighting so hard to end. And it did seem that Callum was getting through to him, and I do think that if their conversation didn’t get interrupted by Soren calling out and maybe in a short amount of time, Callum would’ve succeeded.

Of course next thing we see after Rayla and Soren’s duel along with Corvus’s intervention, was Ezran approaching them with a bunch of guards and he had no hesitation in ordering them to attack an outnumbered Rayla and Runaan. It was only in this situation, when literal violence was about to escalate, that we see Callum fully take Rayla’s side and go against Ezran. Not having succeeded in getting through to his brother and seeing that he was still set on getting his revenge, was when Callum decided to step down as high mage and leave with Rayla and Runaan.

Now I’ve seen a lot of people criticizing Callum for leaving his traumatized brother in this situation, which like, yes it was a betrayal at a bad time and it hurt Ezran a great deal. But I also think it’s important to keep in mind that if Callum were to have stayed behind, he would’ve been arrested and have not been able to do anything or even help Ezran in any way, especially with Ezran later becoming hellbent on building weapons of mass destruction, even with Zym becoming increasingly uncomfortable, and hardly listening to anyone aside from Aanya. In fact, I think this would’ve lead to a far bigger strain on their relationship and less of a likelihood to reconcile and repair the rift created between them.

But anyways, this is my opinion on this whole topic. I personally think there wasn’t one person in this that was entirely right or wrong in this situation, each of them had valid stances that just all came clashing together and lead to this massive fallout. But I’m glad that in the end, they were all able to work it out and be able to reconcile things between them. And I know I made this super long but I guess I just wanted to dump out all my thought here.

Anyways, what do you think? Anything you wanted to add on to this?

#the dragon prince #tdp #tdp analysis #tdp season 7 #give us the saga #tdp ezran #tdp callum #tdp rayla #tdp soren #tdp runaan

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amtrak12 · 21 days ago

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After a conversation with a friend about this weird trend of fic readers who only want epic length fics (and also what seems to be a massive misunderstanding between parties on terms and their definitions), I went searching for the fandom sources I cut my teeth on. I don't have much bookmarked from those days anymore, but googling got me to this fiction length/terminology breakdown from a Livejournal blog. (Which also has good fandom definitions for other terms like A/N and fanon too, so if you're super new to fandom, go check that out.)

The definitions come from the publishing world (hence the page counts), but fandom and fanfic has always borrowed heavily from official publishing terminology. Flash fiction (aka, anything less than 1k words) is called a 'ficlet' within fandom. We call everything else a fic until it reaches the novella mark -- which may start at 20k words but as synecdochic breaks down on their Dreamwidth blog, there's a lot of overlap between short stories and novella word counts. Because, when you're not constrained by physical page counts, the real dividing line between short stories and novellas are the number of plots and themes you're using. (Seriously, go read their meta on this topic. It's fantastic!) Either way, once you're hitting tens of thousands of words, you're in longfic territory. And then if your fic is even longer than that -- 100k+ like shown in the screenshot above -- it's called an epic fic.

And these terms, longfic and epic, are important because they're used to differentiate these stories from the average fic. Because, at least in the 2000s up until the 2020s, the most common fic lengths you ran into were between 1k-20k words. "Fic" made the reader assume only a few thousand words at most. It's only when you changed the term to drabble or ficlet or longfic that they would realize 'oh this is going to be shorter or longer than normal'.

I don't really understand why that baseline assumption has changed amongst the newer demographics (and maybe amongst some long-running fandom members too?). I've seen a lot of theories and 'tiktokification' complaints, but I honestly don't know what's true. And I don't want to start a fight or even try to change anyone's minds if they are dead set against reading short story length fics. You can do what you want!

Just maybe shift your attitude about it a little bit? Remember that it's a personal preference the same way tropes are, and that one story length isn't better than another. Just like tropes, each story length serves its purpose. Some stories are best told in 1-2k words. Some are best told as 100 word drabbles -- or even a single sentence! And then, yes, some stories do need to be 100k+ in order to be told properly.

But that's not every story. And it shouldn't be expected of fic writers to pad a 1500 word plot into some sprawling epic just because they left it on a cliffhanger. The cliffhanger is probably the point of that fic! Short stories are an entirely separate art form to novels and as such are able to cover different topics than novels can or cover the same topics differently. And that's what makes them special!!

And look at that word count breakdown by genre! That's mainstream publishing standards! Now, go back up there to the definition of a novel and notice that the average published novel is 80k words long.

Let me repeat that:

The average length of a published novel is 80,000 words long.

Could a novel go longer? Sure! And if you're dipping into adult sci-fi or fantasy, absolutely it will be longer! But does your fic need to be longer than the average novel in order to be good? In order for you to feel satisfied when you finish reading it? Why does the length of the fic matter more to you than the content?

idk just some rambling food for thought, but I guess too long, don't read:

~✨~ Every story length is valid ~✨~

It just depends on the plot you have and the structure you want to use to tell it.

#fandom history #writing #fanfiction #my meta #I mean my god people Big Bang challenges traditionally required 50k because it was a CHALLENGE #and most people didn't even try to attempt them and only like half the people who signed up actually completed their fics on time #BECAUSE 50K WORDS IS A FUCK TON OF WORDS!!!#And do you know what Big Bang challenges did in order to survive all these years? THEY LOWERED THE WORD COUNT REQUIREMENTS!#The femslash challenge I just signed up for only requires 10k even though they're still giving us months to finish it #And there are people out there pooh-poohing on that effort because it's not novel length???#FANFICTION HAS NEVER BEEN NOVEL LENGTH #Those were always the exceptions! Never ever the rules!#I just don't get it #Excepting more from writers feels so disrespectful of their time and energy and skill #No one's expecting full color art with multiple subjects and detailed backgrounds from fan artists every week!#(Or I don't know maybe they are which would really suck too.)#😩

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