#didn't know Callum's last name

[ndcgalitzine]

"...and others", lol. You mean John Hamm, David Oyelowo, Clive Owens and Callum Scott? Haha. I didn't include Matt Bomer because you alreasy mentioned him. They're all very well respected and Nick should feel privileged to be there. I'm sure he is, but know their names because he could work with one of them in the future 😉

LMAO listen... the only reason I didn't tag them was because I was on my phone, on my coffee break at work and I'd already been 5 minutes longer than I was supposed to.. and I couldn't remember Callum TURNER'S name and I didn't have time to search for it so I just posted it. I know all the others and I usually tag everyone, I just wanted to post it and go back to work 🤣🤣

but also... I really only posted for Nick and Matt!

[halyasgirl]

Rayllum's problems are Moonshadow problems

(and Runaan needs to help fix them)

Callum and Rayla have officially reconciled as of season 6, and while many were happy, some still feel that Rayla hasn't properly earned Callum's forgiveness as she's never directly apologized for abandoning him. Personally, I don’t mind that Rayla hasn’t apologized yet. I think it makes sense that she still doesn’t quite understand how harmful it was, because her “leaving to keep a loved one safe” was perfectly consistent with the values she was raised with. Specifically, the values Runaan raised her with, and he's been Rayla's primary role model throughout her life.

Rayla putting her body between an innocent child and someone trying to kill them and refusing to back down no matter the odds? Runaan.

Unhesitatingly going to her almost-certain death in the name of duty? Runaan.

Leaving her loved ones on dubious intel to stalk someone across the world like a vengeful persistence predator? Runaan again.

Rayla does know her leaving hurt Callum, but however bad she feels about leaving, she still thinks she's done the right thing, because Callum's safe. This attitude of leaving to keep others safe while striking out alone to deal with challenges is held up as an expression of selfless sacrifice in Moonshadow culture, and we see it play out for Rayla in her own family. Her parents leave her to protect the future of Xadia in the Dragonguard. Runaan leaves Ethari for his work as an assassin. Bluntly put, Bloodmoon Huntress is a story of Rayla being conditioned with these values, however loving her family is.

Rayla struggles with her resentment and feelings of abandonment when her parents leave, but starts to come around after seeing how Runaan and Ethari (happily married and deeply in love) rationalize this in their relationship. Rayla questions how Runaan could leave Ethari to do the things he does, how Ethari could accept it, and is told that bad things can be justified if you do them for the right reasons. This is clearest to her when Runaan and Ethari discuss this together, unknowingly overheard by Rayla.

Rayla emulates Runaan in her relationship with Callum, but Ethari understands why Runaan does the things he does, because he shares the same (questionable) cultural values, where Callum does not.*

I think the catch will be the entire moonfam grappling with where these values led them. Runaan has been described as the most Moonshadow of the Moonshadow elves, his particular brand of selfless ruthlessness is valued there. But he spent two years in a hell of his own making because he tried and failed to uphold Moonshadow society's impossible values. Was Runaan trekking across country to murder a 10 year old really doing anything to keep his people safe? Was it worth tearing their family apart?

I think seeing her family have to deal with the fallout of their actions may be the breaking point forcing Rayla to reevaluate her treatment of Callum. How do they move forward from this?

*This understanding is also built on the communication and trust Ethari and Runaan have built in their marriage, where Rayla broke her promise, lied to, and abandoned Callum. In Bloodmoon Huntress, Runaan trusts Ethari's judgement and respects his decision when he follows him into a dangerous situation, and they plan and work together to solve the problem. We know from "Ghost" they disagreed on Runaan's last mission and Rayla's role in it, but they discussed and came to an agreement, for better or worse. Runaan doesn't dismiss him and he certainly didn't lie and go behind his back. Rayla's dishonesty is definitely not something she gets from Moonshadow values or Runaan, but before we drag Rayla too much for this, recall that Runaan keeping his promises led him to try and murder a child, and Rayla's lies are usually a misguided attempt to protect others.

[raayllum]

Anyway let's talk about Star Arcanum Viren

This is of course 1) operating under the assumption that Viren lives post-5x09 and 2) working with the minimal amount of information we have regarding the star primal. Also acknowledging that I am by far not the first (or the last) person to have the idea of Viren connecting to the Star arcanum (I think that's been floating around since at least post-s4) but I thought I'd compile my own bunch of evidence all the same in the name of bringing things up I don't think I've seen other people mention

Let's goo

Arcanum connections thus far in TDP (which is really only two) tend to follow a pattern. You have an object or a guide (or both) that helps you build up your understanding of the primal, you are usually actively seeking it (though this mileage could vary in S6), and after an internal emotional epiphany you understand the Secret of the arcanum and thereby form your own piece of it inside you. Arcana epiphanies grant power and understanding, but they are not necessarily pleasant or positive to undergo.

We see this with Callum in receiving objects related to the arcanums he unlocks (the primal stone to understand the feeling of sky magic; Akiyu's breathing amulet), guides (Villads, ocean poetry), and his own desire ("I'm meditating upon the meaning of Sky" / "I feel like I'm close to a breakthrough with Ocean magic any day now"). We'll return to him in a moment regarding Moon as Callum and Viren often have parallel arcs, so him connecting to an arcanum in S6 bodes well for Viren doing the same, but that's for later.

So for Viren, we need Star adjacent objects (possibly inherited from Kpp'Ar...)

Ibis: If you seek to return that staff to its true owner [Aaravos].

guides

and philosophy. This last one is the trickiest because we just don't Know that much about Star magic philosophy going into S6, the same way we didn't know that much about Ocean magic or its philosophy before going into S6. We know that Star magic is about truth ("You helped me see the truth" as a falsehood vs "I finally see the truth" finally in 5x09) and vision ("I see visions of dragon fire raining down") and a quasi-religious slant ("Where do our gods hide?" / "I will inoculate you...").

It's not one simple thing. It's all the things. They just had to... come together, you know? It's like, I used to hold the power of the Sky in my hand, right? But now that's gone. But Rayla, the whole world is like a giant primal stone, and we're inside it! I'm inside Sky magic, and but it's also in me, with every breath I take. And I kept thinking about birds, and sails, and how they connect to the wind, and I thought I had to find my wings. But that's just it: I am the wing!

You don't control anything. But then you already knew that, didn't you? Because it's the secret of the Ocean itself. The arcanum. You helped me figure it out. I thought it would be about controlling the tides or fighting the currents, but... it's the opposite. The ocean arcanum is about accepting there are depths you can't see, parts of yourself you can't understand, and things you can't control.

This already fits Viren's arc of believing in destiny as an immutable, unchangeable force that he and others are automatically beholden to — that you have no choice, and therefore no accountability for your actions.

V: The path of fate is already chosen. Every step I took, I took because I had to. [...] I had no choice. I did what I had to do.

We see this reflected in how Viren doesn't often acknowledge his own failures but instead deflects them onto other people — "His own stubborn ways stopped me from helping him" / "Tell me what you know about this relic or I will seal your fate" — as though he played no part in things, and how we see that start to shift in S4 and especially in S5. If he "must" make the sacrifice in order to live, then he has no choice, doesn't he?

Except that he does, and he makes it.

This also ties into, imo, the 'beginning' of Viren's story so to speak. A lot of the characters have an Initial Event that sets up everything else for them (i.e. for Claudia and Rayla, it was Lissa / Laindrin leaving), and for the adult characters, it tends to be choice (i.e. Harrow going for the Magma Titan). For Viren, it seems to be coining Kpp'Ar and doing whatever it took to save Soren, an answer that we're surely going to get in S6.

And he almost 99% used both dark and more importantly Star magic to do so.

So Star magic and dark magic started his Path of Fate, so to speak. Dark magic and intrigue led him to Aaravos, and then to his literal Fall and Death (events that Aaravos, particularly if he was Laurelion in the past, also experienced).

C: In darkness, gaze upon a Fallen Star. V: I find myself here at these horrifying crossroads because I have followed a dark path.

It would make sense, then, just like his dark magic dreams to start back at the beginning, and go back to Star magic — but this time, without the taint of dark magic, much the same way he finally unmakes his choices in 1x02-1x03 in full in his decision to Not sacrifice SS in 5x09.

And as previously noted, if Viren was facing 'us' in the poster (same as Claudia), his hair would be angled differently. Therefore, his back is to us, and he's gazing openly at the star instead.

And one last final nudge towards Star arcanum Viren is, to me, the ongoing parallels between his bond with Aaravos and Callum's bond with Rayla. If you want more about how and why Viravos and Rayllum foil / reflect each other, you can check out this tag here.

But basically: Aaravos and Rayla are banished elven guides who push their High Mage of Katolis into discovering their secrets and earning their trust ("Well should we trust you?" + "I don't deserve your trust, not yet" / "Why should I trust you?" "You shouldn't... yet"), bowing to them on paths to Xadia, hunting one another's high mages and trying to save their respective ones, etc etc. You've presumably been following me, none of this is news to you, moving on...

The reason why this is relevant is because Rayla embodies the Moon (leaving and returning, light and dark, withholding information and being secretive, wearing masks and different faces — or a least trying to) and its arcanum, and Aaravos embodies the Stars (mysterious, powerful, ancient) and its arcanum. If there's been 5ish plus seasons of potential set up for Callum connecting to the Moon arcanum ("Now you're starting to sound like Lujanne") when he reaches some Rayla related and/or personal "I have both dark AND light inside" epiphany, Viren understanding more of how Aaravos has likewise been perverted by dark magic and distorted the arcanum he knows (if Star magic has an arcanum at all in the way we think of it) then like...

It'd make sense, and these two dynamics routinely do foil and escalate alongside each other (even S5 being Viravos' divorce, and the bulk of Rayllum's reconciliation).

With everything I've talked about in mind, say Viren does connect to the Star arcanum. What does that actually mean? What is the star arcanum about?

Honestly? I think it's about connection and severance.

The Merciful One: We are, all of us, Stardust, held together by love for an instant.

Everyone and everything is connected. Primal magic exists around creatures, animals, humans, elves, and dragons in TDP, but the arcana is the piece that also exists within them. Dark magic, meanwhile, gives you a twisted form of arcanum that allows Aaravos to reach inside you and assert his will over yours. Puppet strings are just another form of connection, that if you pull on the right ones, the right ways people are connected to each other (Claudia's love for Viren) or the ways they feel disconnected (Viren trying and failing to get human kings and queens to listen to him).

I don't know if Star magic can be as simple as "you write your own destiny" or "you make your own choices" (hi 5x03 Viren) despite the primal's associations with destiny, since Callum already had that epiphany in 2x08 and is struggling to live it out now in arc 2. It would also make sense to me if Star magic is Connection given that after the Startouch elves left, Xadia soon fell apart and was divided into two, since dark magic and isolationism are things that tear people and characters apart. There can be the horror of the connections we're born into (Soren and Viren; characters feeling trapped by their own arcana like Finnegrin and even Rayla sometimes), and strength in the connections we continually forge to create new bonds, or maintain the ones we're born into that we Want to keep.

You can't separate pain and love from each other — they go hand in hand — but you can still choose to break the cycle by separating those emotions from the instigation of violence, as Ezran says.

Xadia and multiple characters have had to relearn the merits of connection ("Stronger together, right?" / "there was a way we can solve our problems together") in the face of antagonists who mandate it ("You'll always be a human to them, you'll always be less" / "You must carry this weight alone"). The Startouch elves know connection the way Finnegrin knows control, of retreating so far into just themselves they turned their backs on everyone who wasn't one of them.

This woud also make sense to me in being Viren's next step in his journey, as revoking dark magic in a lot of ways was just Step One, and re-establishing proper bonds and amends with people he's wronged and with himself / the way he perceives the world around him is the next.

Luckily — every step is a choice.

Last but not least, it's super important to the show that Callum, eventually, turns a corner and we get confirmation that other humans can and will connect to arcanums; it's arguably one of the most important things that needs to happen in the series that he's Not the only one who's ever gonna forge his own connection. Viren getting one would do that while also providing him an interpersonal arc and giving us some real interesting worldbuilding.

[sorinethemastermind]

Trick or treat!

You pick all!

Well then... I suppose I'll reward you with a trick 😈 (idk if I'd call this a reward, actually. It's pretty angsty)

──────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───────────

Rayla fought against her bindings, the unyielding metal rubbing her wrists raw. "Come... on!" she growled, yanking desperately one last time before slumping back against the wall.

"You're only going to hurt yourself." Soren said from his place beside her.

"We can't do nothing."

"They'll find us." Soren said, voice sure. But when she turned to argue with him she could see the worry in his eyes. Rayla sighed. Snapping at Soren wouldn't make anything better.

"That's what I'm worried about." she admitted. "That they'll come for us, and he'll use us against them. That... that I'll have to do something I don't want to do."

"Hey." Soren bumped her with his foot. It was all he could do. "You're Rayla. He can't make you do anything."

"Not... Aaravos." Rayla muttered, the name like poison on her tongue. "I- I promised Callum I would-"

Her voice died in her throat and she squeezed her eyes shut, not even wanting to imagine. She could feel Soren's worried gaze on her, but she couldn't meet his eyes as she continued;

"I promised I would kill him."

She heard the sharp intake of breath at her words, the confusion and horror in Soren's stare. And it all tumbled out;

"I promised that, if Aaravos took control somehow, I would stop him. I would make sure he couldn't be used to hurt anyone he loved. Except... except he's someone I love, Soren!" Rayla exclaimed, all the weeks of fear boiling to the surface now that she couldn't ignore it anymore; couldn't pretend it wasn't a possibility. "I don't think I could live with myself if I did that to him, but... how could I live with myself knowing I broke my one promise to him?"

Her voice died off into a broken whisper, and for a long moment Soren didn't say anything. Then she heard the sound of metal clanking against stone as he stretched over to her, straining against the cuffs to press his shoulder against her's. She leaned into him, grateful for any semblance of comfort.

"It won't come to that." he said softly. "I promise."

They stayed like that until they heard the sound of someone coming, at which point Soren quickly moved back to where he'd been. But the footsteps didn't belong to Aaravos.

"Callum!" Rayla exclaimed, forgetting the chains in her haste to reach him. They pulled her back to the ground as quickly as she shot to her feet, throwing her down again to the cold stone of the floor. "Callum, is it really you?"

He tried to smile at her, but something was wrong, she could tell as soon as he set foot through the doorway and into the flickering torchlight of the dungeon.

"Callum?"

He staggered towards her, fists clenched, knuckles white. There was blood on him and for a moment she feared the worst, but she couldn't see any wounds. Not his blood, she realized, relief giving way to horror. But there's so much of it.

"Rayla. It's going to be okay." he whispered as he reached towards her, voice hoarse. And that was when she saw his eyes. Solid black, with just a pinprick of white where the pupil should have been. She gasped.

"Callum! What did you do?"

"You're going to be okay." he said again. "That's all.. that's all that matters."

He fumbled in the pouch on his belt and withdrew a key, his hands shaking as he used it to unlock first her cuffs, and then Soren's. As soon as he was done she went to him, taking his face in her hands and looking deep into his eyes. The inky blackness stared back, unfeeling. A tear slipped down his cheek and she wiped it away.

"Oh, Callum." she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close and burying her face in his neck. Her grip tightened, but it wasn't enough, she could feel him slipping away.

"Ez..." he said, voice thick, as though his words were wading through deep water. "Ez is upstairs. He'll.. he'll get you out."

"You're coming with me." Rayla said, lifting her head up to look at him, tears rolling freely down her face. "I'm not leaving you. Never again. We'll figure this out-"

"He's-" Callum stopped, his hand clenching where it clasped her own. He fought through it. "He's still out there. I only... I only wounded him."

"No-"

"You promised, Rayla."

"Callum, please." her voice broke, anything else she might have wanted to say devolving into uncontrollable sobs. She felt his hands spasm again, nails digging into her skin, and he broke away from her; staggered back against the wall.

"No. No, you're not going to win. Not this time, not ever." Callum spat, clutching at his head. "You're not going to use me ever again!"

There was a hand on Rayla's shoulder and she spun, reaching instinctively for blades that were no longer there. But it was Soren, his face a mask of pain. As their eyes met it melted away, replaced by a sad smile.

"Rayla." he said, and his smile wobbled. But he kept it there anyway, trying to stay strong for her. "You should go."

"Soren, I-"

"You should go." he said again, more forcefully this time. "You... you don't want to be here for this."

Callum's voice cut through the momentary silence before Rayla could say anything, his words like little daggers being pushed into her chest, one after the other. "He really would do anything for you, wouldn't he?"

Rayla shivered. She hated the sound of his words in Callum's mouth; mocking and vile. The man she loved would never sound like that. She turned to try and face him, but Soren's grip tightened on her shoulder, stopping her.

"Don't. This shouldn't be the last way you see him."

"But Callum-" she sobbed, seething with anger and frustration and fear. That aching helplessness welling up inside her, threatening to swallow her whole.

"You should go." Soren said again, his words simple, his meaning plain. "It's what he'd want."

He released her then, leaving the decision in her hands. She staggered away from them both, bitter tears running down her face as she ran for the stairs. She could hear Callum laughing behind her, his voice twisted and strange.

She could practically hear his voice in her ears. The Moonshadow Assassin who, can this be right? Is incapable of killing. And then she did hear it, following her up the stairs;

"Ah, the Failed Son. Come to finish what you started?"

Rayla ran, away from the man she loved, and away from the promise she couldn't keep. She ran and she didn't look back.

[kradogsrats]

I'd Do Anything (... But I Won't Do That)

This started out kind of weird and petty but then turned into an actual thing about the relationship of Viren's character arc(s) to the Arc 2 "I'll do anything for you" theme, because that's actually pretty important for the context of how both Callum and Claudia will have to confront the same conflict.

Pictured: Do NOT take a shot every time we get a callback to this line, you will die.

Basically, the petty part is that I think evaluating Viren's Arc 1 decisions through the "I will do anything for my family" lens is... disingenuous is too strong a word, but maybe simplistic? The "Viren doesn't reveal/offer the egg to save Harrow's life because he's too preoccupied with hanging on to his own power" take has never sat right with me because the real core problem of Viren is a lot more complex than just "he's lying (to himself)," it's a whole pattern of denying his own agency in doubling down on his mistakes. He'll make one bad/selfish decision, and it becomes a cascade of subsequent actions that he sees as being unavoidable, but that aren't necessarily even informed by the same reasoning or values as the initial decision. Like everything else in Viren's dream, Kpp'Ar's take that his choices are all oriented toward power is both accurate and not necessarily as literal as it seems.

Because, like... Viren's not actually a manipulator or even much of a planner—he's a very skilled opportunist. That's why all his choices wind up being based entirely on the context of past choices, and frequently make no sense when you look at them from a "hey buddy, where exactly do you think you're going with this" angle. It also contributes to why he's so desperate for control all the time, in that he acts primarily in a reactive way rather than proactively, which is always an inherently less secure position.

Pictured: The kind of statement that definitely always leads to things going super well.

Even taking the egg in the first place is a reactive decision—not that he doesn't make a choice there, or that he doesn't choose power over the threat he believes the egg poses, but he did actually walk all the way up the Storm Spire, fight five or six Dragonguard, and get kicked down a flight of stairs with the intent of destroying it. He didn't argue with Harrow about destroying it while secretly planning to take it for himself. He only even thinks of it as a weapon because Tiadrin planted the idea in his mind—as an opportunist, the temptation to leave an avenue to power open rather than close it off is what he can't resist. He sat on Sarai's last breath for ten years waiting for a chance to weaponize it to maximum effect, he can sit (figuratively... or literally, I'm not gonna stop him) on the egg for as long as it takes for an appropriate use it to appear. Tiadrin even specifically encourages that he not "waste" it, both specifically by destroying it now, and implicitly by using it too quickly and foolishly.

Pictured: Smart mom, dumb ass.

Tiadrin's angle, of course, is that the longer Viren hangs on to the egg without actually using it, the higher the chance it can be recovered. She doesn't know that Viren will leave things in a state where the assumption is that the egg was destroyed, meaning no one will think to try recovering it, but that's not really her fault and it still pays off.

The gamble Viren makes, on the other hand, is that the opportunities the egg affords will be worth the risk of it somehow falling back into Xadian hands. If the egg returns to Xadia alive, he's back to square "his name will be vengeance" in the game of We Killed the Dragon King. So yeah, you could say Viren values keeping the egg over Harrow's life, but in doing that he's actually operating largely on the exact same values and beliefs that made him argue for destroying it in the first place. It's just that his prior choice of risking humanity's security for the sake of potentially world-altering power has backfired in the context of an immediate and direct threat to Harrow's life. Really, the entire rest of s1 and s2 are him doubling down specifically on keeping the egg from returning to Xadia while also milking the opportunities coming from that course—e.g. the egg cannot go back to Xadia, therefore Callum and Ezran cannot return to Katolis either with or without it (knowing their goal is to return it to Xadia, which it will be difficult to stop them from doing once Ezran is king), and that means someone has to take the throne. If the egg can't be recovered, their only hope is a decisive first strike against Xadia, so someone has to mobilize the Pentarchy immediately. None of them are things he planned in the sense of "well, if Harrow dies then I can get his sons out of the way and make myself king, and then conquer Xadia." It's all reactive to the situation with the egg. You could argue that he'd do the same things if the egg wasn't a factor, like it's possible he's always been kind of lying in wait to push Harrow's sons aside and seize the throne... but if that was the case, he'd really do much better to make a bid for regent like any normal evil advisor would.

Anyway, all of that does still undermine the statement that he'd do "anything" for his family (which includes Harrow), and it is ultimately because of that initial choice he made to take the opportunity of power over the certainty of securing humanity's future. It's just not as simple as, "Viren says he would do anything for his family, but he won't sacrifice his own power and ambition." In the wake of his critical failure to prioritize humanity in destroying the egg, he's making choices that do prioritize humanity (from within his worldview that Xadia is an existential threat barely held at bay)... but they're still bad choices because they're all reactive to that original bad choice. It's not that he's working at cross-purposes to what he says his goals are, it's that he genuinely thinks digging his hole deeper will somehow work out positively, or at least better than the alternative would.

Pictured: Another statement that for sure indicates you're doing totally great.

Really though, I don't think you can (or are supposed to) look at the trifecta of self-individuals-world and point to one that Viren—or really any character outside of Callum, Rayla, and Claudia—puts at the top. Part of the whole point here is that elevating one of those at the expense of the others is never going to be the right choice all of the time. Obviously always putting yourself first is shitty, but we get multiple examples of over-prioritizing one of the other two as being self-destructive and dangerous. Consistency isn't supposed to be positive, here—a core part of this arc is likely to be Callum grappling with that, and that's without even looking at what's going on with Claudia.

The other thing is that "I will do anything for my family"-Viren is actually on some level a different character than Arc 1 Viren, such that evaluating one based on the context of the other doesn't actually make sense. We don't get even a hint of the "I would do anything for my family" in the series until s4, after Viren has died and been revived. Yeah, we had it earlier in the novels, but in there it's really about Claudia and her relationship with Viren, not Viren's values or actions. Arc 1 Viren and Arc 2 Viren inform each other as characters, but most of the point is the ways they aren't the same. And while Arc 2 Viren is understandably preoccupied with the concept of sacrificing for family—given that he's been stripped of everything that was in his life except Claudia, who went to terrible lengths on his behalf—Arc 1 Viren is actually quite consistent with how he's laid out in his Tales of Xadia character sheet:

Like, check out those Liberty and Glory statements—not even close to the same ballpark as Callum's "I value those close to me more than anyone or anything" Devotion and "I'm beholden to my inner circle, not some silly kingdom" Liberty, but quite accurate as the through-line on his s1-s3 actions. There's nothing in there about family, because Arc 1 Viren isn't actually meant to be associated with "I will do anything for my family," and he's not lying to himself by not acting consistently with it in Arc 1.

Arc 2 Viren is then a kind of emotional reboot back to a particular point earlier in his life—not necessarily the point before he first did any dark magic at all, but before he did his ill-defined "anything" to save Soren, which is implied in multiple places to be the point where he started in on a spiral that had tangible and fairly rapid effects on his personality and outlook. That's further emphasized by the contents of his dream in s5—seeing him behave in a genuinely loving and joyful way with Soren is shocking, and immediately raises the question of what the fuck happened and why.

Pictured: Healthy coping mechanisms.

Part of what still distinguishes Viren's "I will do anything for my family; however dangerous, however vile" from Callum's developing "I would do anything for you" is that Viren is always deliberately addressing the "things that are so unforgivable, you will never forgive yourself" facet while Callum leaves it implicit because he doesn't really understand and/or want to acknowledge that yet (and also Rayla would probably twist his nose again, which fucking hurts). In how Viren describes it to Terry, he is using that up-front acknowledgement to then essentially abdicate any emotional responsibility for... well, anything at all. The entire "however dangerous, however vile" mantra is another way of denying his own agency, because if he'll do anything, then he doesn't actually have to go through the difficult emotional process of making those decisions and dealing with the aftermath.

Pictured: H-healthy coping mechanisms?

Terry correctly pegs this questionable excuse for philosophy as "not having feelings," and generally not the best approach, because it will do things like lead to a default state of emotional unavailability to your children—oh, wait. I think it's not unlikely that Viren's emotional distancing from what "I will do anything for my family" meant contributed a lot to the degradation of it as his core value and his ensuing Arc 1 state. A lot of what's going on in his s5 dream is that he's being confronted with the consequences of "I will do anything for my family," specifically. He's being forced through an emotional speedrun of what it has cost him and everyone around him, and what has he got to show for it? Claudia, corrupted beyond recognition, proudly repeating his own words back to him.

Pictured: Whatever the opposite of daddy issues is.

Because the whole point of Viren's "I will do anything for my family" in Arc 2 is the challenge of whether he would/will do it all again. If he holds to that value the same way he did before, he'll do whatever it takes to save Claudia—however dangerous, however vile. Most of Viren's moral and emotional stuff has been based on his self-serving resignation to having "no choice." He's so tragically trapped in a chain of spiraling consequences he can never break... except oh wait, he totally can. S5 is all about Viren recognizing the dark magic feedback loop and that he has the agency to break it, and his best and only chance to avoid doing further harm to Claudia is to not be willing to destroy himself that way again, even it it means his death will cause her terrible emotional pain.

We'll see how that works out. Because let's be real: Claudia's gonna Claudia, regardless. However it goes, there's an important narrative precedent being set for both breaking free from dark magic/Aaravos and evaluating the "I will do anything for you" impulse in a more nuanced way.

[httyddragonfox]

Dragon Prince season 6 surprises

I just finished the season today! I was so right about what tone it would have. Of course there were things I never expected, really shocked me out of the water there.

1: Rayllum reforges! I wanted it, I could guess it might happen seeing as they were on a journey alone again, but it still was a pleasant surprise. Hopefully they don't split up again, ...(also, please have nothing break them apart!)

2: Only some of the three parents get revived. I didn't expect one of the stones to be swapped out. Dang it Aaravos! Why can't anything go swimmingly for these two.

3: Callum taking the decoy with him! Callum is usually so aware when he gets controlled, the fact it happened without his knowledge. I thought Aaravos would want what was at the Star scraper, but then again he has all the star power he needs.

4: Viren surviving...and then Dying. I was surprised when he was alive, then again the homunculous wasn't around in the trailers and Claudia was covered in blood, but I thought she killed it out of frustration or something. How would she have found out about the "Blood of child" thing? So of course I didn't see him go back to Katolis, interact with Soren again, and explain his backstory. I figured we'd learn it, but he wouldn't be around...as weird as that logic is. Then Viren sacrificed himself to save everyone as his final act of redemption. Seeing him alive was already a shock, I didn't expect to see him die...for real.

5: Callum purging the darkness from himself. I knew Callum was going to be tested of some sort, but I thought that was how he was going to get the crown. I honestly thought the darkness within him would come back to him in a more dramatic way. Maybe it still will, they did hint that any more darkness will corrupt him entirely, and the next season is called 'Dark.' It was sweet that the light that saved him was Rayla, and allowed them to get back together.

6: Finding out what the key is for. I honestly thought we'd find out in season 7, or that the key would release him. Then again it was around when Aaravos wasn't imprisoned, and it's his key... who knew it was for a magic book this whole time. That better be some special book.

7:Using the Moon nexus again: Here I thought Lujanne thought it shouldn't be used. She grew lenient in two years. Also I didn't think we'd be seeing her and Allan.

8: KATOLLIS IS DESTROYED! That never happened in any of my theories! Dang, Aaravos doesn't play around. Speaking of...

9: Aaravos hates Sol Regum. I knew he got rid of Adititi, but that was probably just to cause Chaos. I didn't know it was personal with the Sun dragon. Also, such a surprise Sol Regum had a mate...which he killed.

Now the big one...

10: AARAVOS HAD A DAUGHTER NAMED LEOLA AND SHE WAS THE UNICORN THAT GIFTED HUMANITY WITH MAGIC!!! I had insights...but never the full picture. The short stories made it seem like he didn't like the other startouch elves, that he disagreed with them. I figured, "He must like Humanity much more than them." Second short story, there was a fallen star, given his name, I thought it was him. I thought they banished him for some reason. The opening of the first episode, I'm thinking maybe he was just banished. The merciful one shows up and says "We are all stardust held together by love for an instant." That makes me think somebody died. I learned in season 5 about Leola and her 'last wish.' Maybe he was crying over her death and how unjust it was. Never....did I put together that she was his daughter. I never saw Aaravos as a dad, seeing how cruel he can be to people and how silly he acts at times. Also I didn't think the Startouch elves had families. That was a real wringer for me, but the real heartwrencher...

11: They showed a child dying on screen! They showed how scared she was, they showed the love they had for each other, how heartbroken he was, how horrifying the death was! They didn't shy away at all. Darn you creators! Why do have to make me cry!

Much more intense a season, more mature themes, more blood, more death! What's the next season going to be like?!

[ilexdiapason]

@transfemoliorionsound ok i couldnt find it so im going to rewrite it for you:

the Oli TheOrionSound Would Be A Terrible Father AU

ok so the story begins way back on trollcraft a billion years ago, who's counting at this point, certainly not oli. more importantly it's about a dozen servers ago; oli makes a habit out of hopping from world to world whenever he gets bored of the last one, which is often.

more importantly, on trollcraft he was 21, young and stupid and willing to do stupid things like go out with beautiful women named angela who turn out to be more than a bit obsessed with chickens. (maybe she was half chicken herself? oli didn't stop to ask.) and they spent a wonderful night together, but then she ended up being crazy, so he dipped, and then there was all this business with the mini-mes that basically took his mind off the whole thing. he got bored, he bounced, he took a bit of a sabbatical sleeping on callum and lizzie's sofas before he settled into funcraft, all's well that ends well.

flash forward to empires smp.

oli has been making a tidy little career for himself as a bard, if you ignore the crippling debt! he's got a beach, he's got a tent, he's working on his new album, things are pretty good.

until.

one day there is a knock on his door.

well, he doesn't have a door. instead there is a woman yelling for him from outside his tent. this, quite rudely, wakes him up from his lovely nap.

the woman in question turns out to have a very familiar face. and so does the boy standing next to her.

it turns out that - whoopsie - your actions have consequences, and when oli thought it was all fun and games messing about with angela, she actually ended up pregnant.

enter tommy, who's fourteen, apparently. angela has been trying to find him to make him pay his child support for that amount of time, but oli's just so good at skipping town that she hadn't managed it till now. (oli doesn't ask how the kid is fourteen if trollcraft was only seven years ago - time dilation can get funky between worlds. joel and lizzie have been married about five different times, it's fine.)

except, obviously, oli's in enough debt as it is, he can't also pay child support.

so angela huffs, and shoves tommy into taking a step forward, and then walks away.

... obviously oli has no fucking clue what to do with a child. he's never been a dad and quite frankly he was never planning on it - but tommy is, uncomfortably, a lot like him, only he's about a quarter chicken, which he keeps referring to as making him Slightly Above Average.

he doesn't want to just leave a child alone in the middle of empires, though, so he does the only thing he can think to do and boats the boy directly down the coast to bring to sausage.

except sausage also doesn't know how to take care of an unexpected teenager, because "hermes is nine, oli" or whatever. so now they have to figure out what to do with this boy, and get him back where he belongs - or at least get him somewhere he belongs - before he manages to eat something poisonous, which he's clearly trying his hardest to do the second oli turns his back, jesus christ, was i really like this?

and THATS the au :D

[fritoley]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts 6x09 - Stardust

Previous Episode // Masterlist // Next Episode

Join the Taglist

Spoilers under the cut

“I called her my ‘unicorn’”

Okay why the FUCK are we starting with a villain backstory that I already know is gonna end horribly because he’s talking about his daughter in past tense

*mentally preparing*

*dEEp sigh*

*grabs tissues* Okay here we go

“Her name was Leola”

THE LOVE IN HIS EYES UGH—

ALSO leola’s last wish? The starr???

Woah runaan what happened to you—

It’s like ttm when the other moonshadow elves were in their phantom forms attacking rayla

Oh wait why aren’t tiadrin and lain like that—

Ooh maybe cuz runaan and the other elves had unfinished business maybe rayla’s parents were at peace when they died

That is a BIG BOOK what—

OMG SO THE CUBE DOES DO STUFF

I wonder what that book is and where it is now

“There is proof. A witness… Anak Arao”

Are you telling me that a little child got arrested for breaking the flow of the universe because a fuckass dragon saw her FLOATING R O C K S in front of a human—

wait if leola gave PRIMAL magic to humans (cuz dark magic didn't exist at the time) is that why callum can do magic???

“If you so choose, you may die alongside your daughter.”

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

WHAT KIND OF MERCY IS THAT

“It was rescued? By who?”

“Me.”

Bro she waited so long to say that lol—

“We love you, Rayla.”

I’m glad she decided to let her parents go

That way they can stay together instead of ripping one of them from death and having them spend the rest of their life without the other

And it’s also like does she choose mom or dad yk this way she doesn’t have to make that choice

“There’s nothing to fear. Close your eyes.”

OMG STOP this shit is wild

I feel so bad for aaravos this is not okay—

he was such a good father he's a completely different person now

istg the dad's in this show L O V E their daughters ugh

THEY FUCKING ATOMIZED HER

NOOOOOOOOOO

Oh look the star on his chest is black and upside down now

So he became the “fallen star” because of Leola’s death

FUCK OFF MERCIFUL ONE

Nah that line official kicked off his villain arc that’s for sure

“Ethari.”

AWWWW STOPPPPPP

The cheezy romance in this show is top tier ugh—

“I’m your daughter.”

GAWD THAT WAS CLOSE

Yuhhh tiadrin and lain were together but ethari’s all alone he needs his husband back 😭

Runaan isn’t done with xadia he wasn’t supposed to die I bet that’s why he was that angry phantom thingy

“He isn’t doing anything for love, he’s doing it for revenge.”

YES TERRY talk her down

Even thought aaravos has EVERY RIGHT to get revenge on those fuckers

YAYY RUNAAN’S BACK

What’s up with the coin why’s callum examining it like that

“Is that…Katolis?”

OOP he found out—

OMG EZRAN FOUND OUT TOO

welp time for the brothers to spiral together in to self-deprecation and blame—

Aaravos getting his anime-girl transformation

Omg he’s hERE aaahhhhhhhh

OH MY GOSH HE’S HUGE

WHAT

Why’s he so HUGE now wtf—

He wasn’t that huge in the flashback—

Oooooohhhh my gosh—

Oooooomgggggggggggg the shock factor in this season was C R A Z Y. Aaravos is out and he’s ready to wreak havoc that is def gonna be interesting. I get the feeling Terry’s gonna join Team Zym because he’s not so invested in aaravos’s plans and whatnot and i think he’s gonna wanna try save claudia. Callum is gonna FLIP OUT when he finds out that aaravos is out and he took the candy to the starscraper that’s gonna be bad. And EZRAN TOOO we never see ezran so worked up like we did this season and i’m scared and a little curious to see how he’s gonna be now that katolis is pretty much destroyed. But hey only 3 months until s7 :P

[charlewiss-writes]

mein sieger / mick schumacher

masterlist

day 15: win (part of one-word november prompts!)

pairing: mick schumacher x reader

summary: after haas had dropped mick in the 2022 season, it had been a whole journey back to feeling like himself again, and returning to the grid.

warnings: poor translated german. not proofreaded enough given that i should be sleeping rn jajdjsjs

word count: 1.2k

abu dhabi, 2022.

you had never seen mick like this.

he was pacing his small driver room, fuming. if he could, he would've been walking on the walls too. the german boy was speaking a mixture of english and german, and you could only pick up a few of the things that he was saying, everything that came off his mouth sounding so unlike him. he, that was normally calm as the ocean, now furious as a tropical storm.

"I can't believe this. they told me i was in! god, i never should have trusted them. now I've got nowhere to go. fuck!" it was so strange to hear him swearing that it caught you off guard. you knew he was furious, and he had every right to be: haas had promised him the seat for next season, and last moment had backed off. mick now found himself stranded, without the chance of picking another team, given that the one where he was currently in made sure that he shouldn't negotiate anywhere else, due to him having his seat for next season secured.

"mick, baby, I'm sure this isn't the end. you'll come back." obviously you had plenty of faith in the words you were saying, but you didn't knew how he would react to them. he continued, now stopping on his track to get close to you. "how? I just fuck up cars. I don't have a single point off the last races. I'm a fucking fraud" at that last sentence, his voice got cut off due to the sob that escaped his lips. you quickly jumped to hug him tightly. and even though he doubled you in size, in that moment, mick looked like a lost child, and your heart broke at the sight. "hey hey, we won't go into that. you know it's not only your fault, mickie".

"yeah, but who's without a seat for next season? me".

you took his head out of the crook of your neck, and looked straight into his eyes, the once blue ocean that you saw in them and that brought you so much calm, now looking devastated, as they were filled with tears. softly, you whispered for only him to hear. "and you'll come back. maybe not next year, but I'm sure you'll find a way. and I'll be here when you get another chance".

—

and mick had been waiting for another chance for a while now.

he maintained busy with activities that didn't involve racing cars during 2023, his first year off, which included building a big portfolio full of pictures he took throughout the year. for the first time in forever, he could be present for birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. and even when you were immensely happy to have him with you, getting to fall asleep and wake up next to him, you knew that on the back of his mind, he was waiting to get a chance back at accomplishing his dreams, an opportunity to come back like he deserved, to fulfill what he believed was meant for him. written in the stars, in a way.

his first step to get back came with joining indycar in 2024, where his old mate callum, who he had raced alongside on f2 during the 2020 season, welcomed him with open arms. and even though the spark in his eyes had lightened up again, still, it wasn't as bright as it used to be.

a spark that you only saw again when 2025 came, and his old friend, sebastian vettel, called on a random evening, announcing that he was the new team principal at ferrari. it wasn't surprising to you when mick told you that the older german wasn't just calling to share the good news: he wanted him to be a driver for the scuderia, the same one that was deeply connected to him and his family due to his father, who had engraved his name in history by becoming champion of the world five times while dressed in red.

so here you were now, back in bahrain, to witness another start of the season, 3 years after the last one you got to see in 2022. with mick dressed in ferrari red, you couldn't do anything less than wear the famous rosso corsa yourself, with the surname of your boyfriend and his number on your back: schumacher 47.

you thought being a few years older, the nerves that came with every racing weekend would have subdued by now. but it was quite the opposite, you soon realised, as the expectations on your boyfriend's back where even bigger than before. not only he was making his comeback, trying to prove everyone that didn't trust him back in haas that they were wrong, but he had to embrace the legacy that came with being a schumacher dressed in red.

thankfully, everything went great. not only the car was working really well with him, being instantly comfortable with it, but also his teammate, charles, was a dream. the two of them had previous history, being close in age and both having the pressure of having their fate already written for them: il predestinato and the prince, heir of the legacy.

—

"it's mick schumacher, and it's his first f1 win here in bahrain! the prince brings ferrari back to their winning ways. 1-2 for the scuderia, with charles leclerc coming second! what a great result for the team, what a great start of the season for the cavallino rampante! I'm sure sebastian vettel is buzzing on the garage!".

mick jumped off of the car as quickly as he could after parking it behind the sign that indicated that he had taken first place and won the race. the other red car parked behind him, in close second, and his dear friend esteban went third. he swore he could be dreaming: not only was he back in the grid, but he was now part of a competent team, with a competitive car where he could fight for wins and podiums, just like he wished all those years ago when he first reached the category.

the blonde boy made his way quickly to the red sea of mechanics that engulfed his body whole when he first got close to them, buzzing with the feeling of another great season for the scuderia after charles got his first world drivers championship a year earlier. once they had let your boyfriend go, he got closer to you, being close but not exactly in the middle of it all. you could swore that his smile right now could have lighten up the whole race track, and even the city, too. his hair was all messed up due to the inevitably sweat that came with being on the car for too long, but he still looked like the most beautiful man to ever exist.

you beamed at him when you reached for his face, grabbing him by his neck to bring him closer, so you could share a little moment where you told him what you had said to him since you've met him, but now, it had more meaning behind. "never been more proud of you, mein sieger".

[jamiemaybeme]

Doing This Again by Bears In Trees: An Unnecessarily Deep Analysis by me

( @bearsintreesofficial please if you only see one of my posts ever let it be this one i worked so hard 🥲)

i'm bored, and i want to yell about my hyperfixations on the internet, so have fun :D

(i will preface this by saying that it will be LONG. i wrote this in a notebook and initially i was going to just upload a photo, but my annotations are too small to be seen on camera. make of that what you will.)

!!ALSO THIS IS IMPORTANT!!: these are my interpretations. i do not know if the band intended to communicate everything i've understood from this song (i expect they didn't actually), and it's perfectly valid for you to have different interpretations to me. it's encouraged.

also (sorry one last thing) i will refer to "the singer" like i would a poet, even though i know the singer didn't write the song. just roll with it.

okay now onto the actual analysis (below the cut off so people who don't want to read it don't have to scroll for ages). enjoy!!

verse one:

i hope to be happy, i hope to be calm

i hope to be somewhat content

the song begins with an expectation. the singer 'hopes' to be something, which is a goal for the future. the repetition adds to this. it shows the amount of expectations the singer has. it reads like the beginning of a new year, when one makes new year's resolutions. this comparison could imply the singer is unlikely to stick to these expectations, as people are infamous for only sticking with new year's resolutions during january. this sets up the mood of the song: the struggle of attempting to break free from old habits and the mundanity of life, and the frustration that comes with that.

however, the singer only hopes to be 'somewhat content'. the word 'somewhat' makes it clear the singer is trying to lower their expectations to be achievable. the word 'hope' is also not a guarantee. the singer does not know if they will feel the way they want to. it is a 'hope' they are holding onto, perhaps to help them keep going.

the word 'calm' directly contrasts the name of one of the band's previous eps, i want to feel chaotic, which features their most streamed song ramblings of a lunatic. the ep focuses on struggling to cope with trauma and turning to your friends in times of difficulties. this song is a step away from processing trauma, and instead focuses on day-to-day life. this contrast is shown through the choice of the word 'calm'.

(also there's the whole i wanna feel calm/i wanna feel chaotic comparison but that's not directly related so i'm ignoring it. maybe i'll post about it later 👀.)

verse one (continued):

every morning, i wake up

and think to myself, "oh God, we're doing this again!"

'every morning i wake up' is also repeated throughout the song as the first line of the chorus. the repetition combined with the hyperbole communicates the singer's frustration. they feel stuck in a loop, which the structure of the song shows us.

'"oh God"' can be interpreted in a few ways. (this is actually the main reason i decided to analyse this song specifically, because it felt like i had so much to say.) interpretation number one: it could, simply, be a blasphemous curse. a teenage rebellion against parents or school. (context: nick - who i'm 90% sure wrote this - went to a catholic secondary school with two of the others. i believe. i think those two were iain and callum.) it also could show how the singer is just like everyone else, as this is a common phrase. this adds to my previous point about being stuck in a loop, except now it includes other people. it makes the song feel more relatable. i feel like this one is more accurate to what the singer is trying to convey. and interpretation number two: however, it could also be read as a cry for help, to God. 'God' could be interpreted as anyone or anything, but in the context it's in, i'm assuming it is talking about God in christianity. it sets up the next verse nicely too.

verse two:

i hope i'll be resilient

i hope to be brave in the face of another family cancer

my mother cites a rosary downstairs

but Lord these blessed words fail me

first i'll talk about the religious imagery, linked to the last line of the previous verse.

'rosary', 'Lord' and 'blessed' are all directly related to religion, specifically catholicism (a branch of christianity if anyone is unaware). throughout most bears in trees songs, there runs a theme of religion, and with it religious trauma. a 'rosary' is, i believe, a string of beads which you move as you pray. (please bear in mind i do not follow catholicism so i am not sure how accurate this is. i could look it up but in all honesty if i stop writing rn idk if i'll continue.) the singer seems to be attempting to reach God, but is struggling due to some unseen reason. perhaps it is something they themselves are also unaware of.

the theme of 'hope' is once again repeated in this verse, carrying it on from verse one.

'another family cancer' talks about an awful event. we are not told whether it ends in tragedy (death), joy (being cancer free), or continues as an ongoing battle. this a) makes the song more relatable, as most people have known someone who's battled cancer, and b) may potentially mean the singer has not yet experienced this but is expecting to (expectations again). the word 'another' adds to the idea of being stuck in a loop. (if you're starting to notice a pattern: congratulations! you've cracked the code.)

the word 'downstairs' shows separation between the singer's mother and themself (is it themselves or themself i can't work it out?), but could also be a metaphor for the distance the singer feels from God or even religion entirely. this is portrayed by having their mother praying at the same time the singer is struggling to connect with the words. the physical distance between the singer and their mother is a symbol of the metaphorical distance between the singer and God/catholicism.

the verse ends with the phrase 'fail me'. in the context of the analysis, it seems they are either struggling to turn to God for help, or do not feel God is helping. however, they may believe God is the one failing them. it can be extremely difficult to pray to someone or something that you can't see, especially when there doesn't seem to be a response. they either believe they are failing God because they can't communicate properly, or God is failing them because there has been no (obvious) response. alternatively, if we take it in the context of the song it could show how the singer is struggling to live up to the expectations (🙃) set by themself or others, and feel like a failure. (i will admit, this one is a little bit of a stretch. but it's analysis, everything's a stretch ��.)

pre-chorus? (i don't think it is but idk what else to call it so w/e):

i just wanna welcome all the broken people

the juxtaposition (i love that word) of 'just' and 'all' really communicates the singer's expectations of themself. they are under playing welcoming everyone into some sort of family or home, by specifying 'just' the 'broken people'. however, everyone is 'broken' in some way or another, so the singer's desire to accept the 'broken' people essentially encompasses the whole world. this is a high expectation. it is quite literally impossible. yet the singer seems to believe they should be able to to do it, as the word 'just' makes it sound easy. potentially they haven't fully considered the situation.

the word 'welcome' could have biblical connotations. Jesus was all about welcoming people, even those on the outside of society, the 'broken people', some might even say. (some being me. i'm saying that.) the singer seems to be attempting to fulfil the role of God in their life within which God is not present - either by their choice or by their interpretation.

chorus:

every morning i wake up, and i drink my silly little oak milk coffee

and i text my silly little texts, and my phone's still on autocorrect

just going to briefly remind you of the repetition of 'every morning i wake up' continued from the last line of verse one. okay that's it.

the singer decribes their interests as 'silly little' things. it's sung twice per chorus, which shows it's not just one aspect of their life. this could be read as a dismissal of their interests, but could equally be seen as them embracing their interests being seen as 'silly'. they are claiming their interests with the personal pronoun 'my'. this could show how they're not ashamed of the things they like.

chorus (continued):

so i gotta backspace, take my caps out

'cause i'm too lazy to change the settings, too hazy to hum myself to sleep

oh my God, we're doing this again

once again there's the idea of expectations. the modal 'gotta' shows the singer feels like they must do things they have decided to (in this instance type in all lower case, something that is considered trivial and unimportant).

the singer is aware of the fact they might be perceived as 'lazy'. this might be because they genuinely are lazy, or it could be a sign they are struggling, potentially with a mental illness or being burnt out.

they decribe themself as 'hazy', which implies they are disorientated or overwhelmed.

the pronoun 'my' has been added to the last line compared to the first verse. this makes it closer to blasphemy than a cry for help, but it still could be either.

the collective noun 'we're' addresses the audience directly, letting them know that they are not alone and the singer struggles with the same things they do (basically 🎶 we're all in this together! 🎶).

verse three:

i hope to be neurotic, go lucky

young upstart and plucky

there's the repetition of 'i hope' in this verse once again, but it's only in this verse once. this could show the singer either losing hope or struggling to keep up with all their expectations. (i know it's almost certainly for timing reasons but i didn't title this over analysing for no reason.)

(psa: this paragraph is almost entirely irrelevant i just wanted to rant about psychology) neuroticism is one of the three personality traits in eysenck's criminal personality theory. it is a trait that measures how anxious an individual is. the theory states that criminal behaviour is fixed from birth, and is mostly affected by biological factors. it theorises people are born with the urge to commit criminal acts. the other two traits featured in this theory are extraversion (how out-going an individual is) and psychoticism (how aggressive and impulsive an individual is). there was also a study done by heaven in 1996 based on this theory, but he did not measure neuroticism as he felt that would have been too hard (instead opting for self-esteem, which showed no correlation to criminality). none of this is particularly related, i just think it's cool and wanted to infodump :].

my gcse psychology textbook (this is pretty much the only time i've actually used it btw 😭) says about neuroticism that "people who score high on neuroticism are anxious, angry and prone to feeling guilt. at the opposite end is stability. stable people tend to be calm, even-tempered and not easily stressed. of course, it is possible to be in between these two extremes too." i'm not really sure what to think about this, but it's certainly interesting to think that the singer wants to feel/be this way. idk man i'm too tired to think about this too deeply.

'go lucky' is shortened from the phrase "happy go lucky". the lack of the word 'happy' shows the singer doesn't even have it in them to yearn for happiness, they just want to be anything other than apathetic.

I'VE JUST REALISED THAT THE FIRST LINE OF THIS VERSE CONTRASTS THE FIRST LINE OF VERSE ONE OMDS THIS IS CRAZY. the opposite of being 'neurotic' (i hope to be neurotic) is being 'calm' (i hope to be calm), and the word 'happy' (i hope to be happy) completes the phrase "happy 'go lucky'" (i hope to be..., go lucky).

verse three (continued):

anatomically correct beating heart of the party

and i could be your vena cava

pumping small talk between your trauma

while the red stains your new carpet

the specification of an 'anatomically correct heart' shows the singer's desire to not be artificial. it may also be a way to show they want to embrace a nerdier side of themself.

being the 'heart' or "life" 'of the party' means someone who is at the centre of the party. often the party properly gets started when they arrive, and ends when they leave. it is a common trope in teen films, which links back to the recurring theme of being stuck in a loop with everyone else.

the 'vena cava' is a vein (?) in the heart. i'm not really sure what it does but i have a biology exam in two days at the time of writing this (one day at the time of editing oh no) so i probably should. it might be an artery. either way, i THINK it carries blood away from the heart. whether it goes to the lungs or some other part of the body i am unsure. i should probably find that out soon. anyway.

the heart is a muscle that pumps blood - that is its function. the singer could be saying they want to be strong for their friend, or be crucial for them to live, much like the heart is. 'small talk' has replaced blood in their veins (metaphorically just in case that was unclear), showing how everyone else seems to live off of small talk. in 'i am cold', a song from the ep 'i see blue', the first two lines are 'don't talk about the weather / i wanna know what makes you sick'. in some interview or something somewhere either nick or iain (this is so specific ik) explains that this line means the singer wants to skip small talk and get straight to the deep things. this combined with this song makes the singer feel different to everyone else. they seem to be breaking the cycle but at the same time still contributing to it by helping their friend make small talk (it's 1am sorry if that made no sense).

in 'i wanna feel calm', a song from bears in trees' latest album 'how to build an ocean: instructions' which was also released as the second single out of four before the album, the first line is 'i try not to let my trauma do the talking but from time to time the "t"s add up'. this shows how the singer struggles not to trauma dump as a way of making conversation (relatable), but here they are helping their friend avoid doing the same thing by 'pumping small talk between their trauma'. alternatively, it could be that their friend is trauma dumping to a third party and the singer keeps interjecting (is that a word?? i thought it was but my keyboard didn't recognise it?) with 'small talk' to try and lighten the mood/distract from their friend.

the colour imagery choice is interesting, as 'red' has a lot of connotations. first and foremost is obviously blood based on the previous imagery used. it is also the colour of passion, whether that be passionate love, hate, anger or fear. it also signifies danger. the point is, passion is the opposite of apathy, which is the way the singer has seemed to portray their reaction in relation to the mundanity of life throughout the song so far.

however, whilst 'red' is more subjective, the word 'stains' has way more negative connotations than positive. a stain is generally unwanted, like a weed. it's a memory the singer it their friend wants to forget, but can't.

the 'new carpet' could refer to them trying to start afresh, the 'new carpet' being a new mindset. however, it very quickly gets stained showing the inevitably of life. alternatively, the singer could be referencing red wine- a red liquid which stains- or something similar, ie it could be literal.

(the chorus repeats here but i'm not repeating my analysis because there's literally no point [: )

bridge:

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye

every moonbeam, every fever dream

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye

every moonbeam, every fever dream

'every' is once again repeated here, but 10 times instead of 1 (20 in the whole bridge but 10 in each section i've split it into).

once again, it is a reminder of the inevitably of the existence of the mundane, everyday things of life. 'sunrises' and 'moonbeams' directly contrast, to show that the cycle happens all the time. these two things are also part of nature. they also happen everyday, whether you see them or not. 'street signs' are man made, but are still very common. 'goodbyes' are inevitable. for every hello there is a goodbye; they are unavoidable. they can be sad, they can be bittersweet, they can be happy (if you dislike the person enough). 'fever dreams' are uncontrollable. they happen while you are in a state that you cannot control, and are weird. this line feels like the singer is embracing the weird parts of life, even things they cannot control.

bridge (continued):

wouldn't you love to be happy? (every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye)

wouldn't you love to go outside for a change? (every moonbeam, every fever dream)

and i don't mean in body (every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye)

i mean embody, i mean embody (every moonbeam, every fever dream)

(note: this is pretty much where my notebook annotations end; i gave up and forgot about it. the rest is likely to be less coherent than the above, just a warning. okay back to it.)

the singer begins to directly question the audience here, addressing them like at the end of the choruses. however, they could be just using the audience to address themself. this is the final reference to expectations in the song, and now it's more of a wish than something that the singer feels they should be. "'wouldn't you love' to do these things? it would be amazing if i could, but i can't. i would love the ability to get myself together, but it feels impossible right now." this reminds me of the chorus of 'great heights' a song from both the album 'and everybody else smiled back' and one of three songs released earlier as singles. 'we'd reach such great heights / if we could just make our beds in the morning.' this is a reference explained by nick in a tiktok video somewhere to a sign he is entering a dissociative episode: he stops making his bed. this whole song ('doing this again') tackles the issue of mental illnesses and struggling to cope with the mundanity of life. the singer feels if they could just complete these simple tasks that seem so huge, bigger things would be so much easier to tackle. they feel if they can get out of their head, they could take over the world. but they can't take over the world without going outside. 'outside' could mean literally out their house, or could be outside their mind. (this is confirmed as being mental in the next two lines 'i don't mean in body, i mean embody'.)

the singer finally suggests 'a change' could be good. this is the first (and only) time in the song anything other than the "same old thing"™ is mentioned. they are trying to entice themself into wanting this by asking it as a question. this is a psychological trick often used on children - if you make someone think it was their own idea they are way more likely to do what you want them to do.

the word 'embody' crops up later in 'bart's bike', a song that wraps up how the years 2022 - 2023 (i believe. from what i've heard) felt, and reminisces on them. that would include this ep/song, which was released in november 2022. 'i know you meant embody / when you looked to the mountains, towering above us'. this callback shows how far the singer has come. either they are talking to themself in third person, or their friend is saying this. the friend may be someone who has helped the singer through the period of their life where they struggled with apathy. another song from this era is 'apathy is boring', which talks about rejecting apathy as a coping mechanism and embracing our emotions. 'the mountains' are symbolic of the tasks they've been talking about struggling with the whole song. the pronoun 'us' shows how the singer is not alone, and even though they still have struggles they don't have to face them alone. the parallels between this song and the 'how to stay shining' era shows the singer's improving mental health. the band have talked before about how they don't like dwelling on bad things that have happened, as good things happen too and it's important not to focus on all the wrong things. healing is a progress, and these two songs ('doing this again' and 'bart's bike') were released almost exactly a year apart ('bart's bike' was released on december 1st 2023. 'doing this again' was released on october 28th 2022, but 'every moonbeam every fever dream' (the full ep) was released on november 11th 2022.) this is both symbolic of a person healing over time and shows the band maturing/getting better over time. it's sweet and it's not unrealistically fast.

there's also the repetition of 'every sunrise...' here, which is just another example of the mundanity of everyday life.

(the chorus repeats one more time here)

outro:

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye (again)

every moonbeam every fever dream (again)

every sunrise, every street sign, every goodbye (again)

every moonbeam every fever dream (we're doing this again)

this is how the song ends. it feels bittersweet. the singer seems to have accepted their fate of continuously doing the same thing. the word 'again' is repeated 4 times in this section. the singer is focused on it now more than the rest of the song. (this probably means something but it's like 2am so ifk whay.) this is the last section of the song, but the singer is showing that their everyday life is not over. however, they may choose to find hope in this. we don't know, because the song ends much like the rest of it: with repetition symbolic of the middle of life.

the last line is 'we're doing this agin' which uses the pronoun 'we're' and also extends the phrase. the audience is left on the note that whilst the mundanity of life still repeats, it's easier when it's not just you. this relates to the 'bart's bike' line i referenced earlier, when the singer talks about mountains towering above 'us'. the use of collective pronouns throughout this song give hope to the audience. the song tells us that we are not alone, and there is hope to be found.

okay i've just fksihed writing this and it's like 2:15 am i'll edit it later i have an exam in <7 hourd i'm gonna fail yay :')

alright, 'nught :]

okay it's now 4.30pm and i've just finished editing. if you got this far, thank you so much. if you didn't, thank you anyway. i repeated myself so much in my analysis, but maybe that's to communicate meaning! (it's not but we can pretend it is.) i hope you enjoyed reading this. have a good timezone and please tell me if you want me to repeat this with another song. it might not be quite to this extent but i can try. (also i don't think i failed my english exam so that's good :D)

see you in the next one! (maybe. hopefully.) and go and stream how to build an ocean: instructions!!!

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - s ᴇ ᴠ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ᴇ ᴇ ɴ

m a s t e r l i s t

s ᴇ ᴠ ᴇ ɴ ᴛ ᴇ ᴇ ɴ

Sitting on the front of the yacht watching the sun rise I feel like I'm in such a happy bubble. All I can think about is how amazing the last day has been. I've left Lando sleeping but I feel like we're in such a happy bubble I don't ever want it to change.

"You look deep in thought"

"Just thinking about you and us" turning my head to look at Lando I take in his appearance. He still looks half asleep, his hair untamed and a lazy smile on his face

"How long have you been out here?" Lando asks sitting behind me, his legs either side of me as he pulls me back to rest on his chest.

"I don't know to be honest. It's been so peaceful I just thought I'd make the most of it before we head back"

"I'll take you for breakfast first"

"If we're going for breakfast I'm paying. You've literally treated me like a princess the least I can do is buy your breakfast" looking up at Lando I'm more serious than I've ever been with him. I'm not stupid, I know the yacht will be into the thousands to hire especially overnight.

"Happy birthday baby" Lando whispers in my ear running his fingers along my hip "your gift should be delivered to the villa when we get back"

"Thank you. I didn't expect anything Lando, you've done so much for me already" lifting my head slightly I kiss Lando softly.

Walking into the villa a few hours later it's like everyone was waiting for me to get back. I know every single one of them is going to want to know what happened with Lando. After a discussion at breakfast we've decided if people ask we'll tell them we're together, we're going to post stories or photos of each other if we want to, we aren't going to hide our relationship but we aren't going to put a statement out to say we're together. Neither of us feel a need to confirm our relationship.

After being bombarded with a load of happy birthdays from everyone I'm dragged to sit in the middle of the girls, all of them waiting with an expectant look on their face. I know what they want and I'm not going to tell them without them asking first.

"Okay so what happened? We need a full run down given the smile on your face this morning" Danielle asks being the first to crack.

"It was perfect there's no other way to describe it. He took me to the most beautiful yacht that had its own crew because he wanted us to have a date away from prying eyes. We've raced jet skis, played around in the sea, had the most romantic candlelit dinner ever and he asked me to be his girlfriend" I don't want it to be a whole announcement to everyone about me and Lando being in a relationship so for me it's best to slip it into conversation. As the words leave my lips I'm surrounded by shrieks and excited squeals.

"This is the best news ever! You're officially off the market and no longer a slag!" Liv laughs. It's been a running joke for us for years calling each other a slag. Neither of us get offended but that's just the kind of friendship we have.

"I'm officially off the slag market" looking over at Lando talking to the boys I know he's absolutely worth whatever is to come.

"Nando! You owe me 50 quid!" My mum shouts over to the kitchen.

"Why?" I ask confused why my dad would owe my mum money.

"We had a bet. He said Lando would ask you to be his girlfriend before you go home, I said he'd ask you on your date"

"Mum! You're my parents! I can't believe you're betting on me" I say unable to hold back a laugh. Them two are unbelievable.

"Why do I owe you money?" My dad asks confused as he comes over to the living room.

"Our daughter has a boyfriend" my mum says with a smug grin on her face.

"Lando! You could have waited!" My dad tries to be angry but it's impossible.

"Waited for what?" Lando asks hearing his name mentioned.

"My mum and papá had a bet on us and when you'd ask me to be your girlfriend" I explain to Lando.

"Apparently Max, Ryan and Callum did as well. Turns out we're quite the source of entertainment" hearing the door bell ring the look on Lando's face changes "that will be your birthday present"

"You didn't have to get me anything!" I shout after Lando as he runs into the hallway. He doesn't answer me back but he comes back with the biggest bouquet of flowers I have ever seen in my life, they easily have to be the height of me "no way Lando! They're beautiful!"

"Happy birthday baby" Lando kisses me quickly getting embarrassed when he remembers my parents are in the room "I didn't know what to get you"

"These are perfect. Thank you so much"

After a painful goodbye with Lando in Miami, this is my third weekend back in England and he is in the Netherlands for the Dutch Grand Prix. It's been two weeks since Lando and I saw each other as he had a golfing holiday planned with Max, he did offer to cancel it or book me a flight but I couldn't ask him to do that. His holiday was already planned with it being summer break and I don't want to come across as one of those needy girlfriends who can't let her boyfriend do anything without her. However not a day has gone by when we haven't spoken to each other.

"Hi baby" Lando says as I answer the FaceTime call from him. I've always hated pet names but Lando could literally call me anything and it would still bring a smile to my face.

"Hey how's Zandvoort?" I've just finished work and I'm home alone this weekend. I didn't plan to go to the race this week however now I'm with Lando I have an aching need to be at every race.

"Lonely without you but practice has gone well so far. What have you got to eat?" Lando asks as I prop my phone up on the kitchen worktop.

"I watched practice while I was at work. You looked quick. I've got mash and gravy"

"Yeah the car feels good so far. Seriously? You can't just have mash and gravy for dinner" Lando says rolling his eyes in disbelief.

"It's tea not dinner, I had a salad for dinner at work and yes I can just eat mash and gravy"

"You're such a northerner"

"You say that like it's a bad thing" I say with a shrug.

"When you're wrong like you are now yes it's a bad thing. I wouldn't be surprised if you decided to drink a glass of gravy"

"You've clearly never had a bovril at the football before posh boy but you're a United fan so there's everything wrong about that" I say with a laugh. Conversation with Lando is so easy, we can talk about anything and it just flows.

"Lu I'm not posh and I can't help supporting a good football team"

"Don't pull that one with me Norris. Your choice in football team is shocking. Would you think I'm pathetic if I said I miss you?"

"If you're pathetic I am too because I miss you" I wonder when I became this person. I've always been fiercely independent, many have said it's the Spanish in me but I say it's a mix of that and having a boss bitch of a mum.

"I wish you were here with me. Are you sure you can't come this weekend?"

"Babe I've made no plans to come. I know you have your family there and I'll be there next weekend" I've already made plans with Lando for me to fly to Milan next Saturday so I can be there for the race.

"I know I'm just being greedy needing my good luck charm at all of my races. I hope if you're not at the race you'll be wearing that orange underwear from Miami"

"I'll wear that every race day if it spurs you on to win" if something as simple as underwear is going to encourage Lando, I'm going to wear it.

The next day I have everyone gathered in my living room to watch FP3 and qualifying, my friends are all on board to watch with me as we witness Lando qualify on pole. We celebrate like he's won already. He's had a strong two days and I'll admit, I'm devastated I'm not there for him. Arguing with myself for a good 15 minutes I pick my phone up walking into the kitchen.

"Papá I need a favour from you. I know you've probably given your passes out for the weekend but is there anyway you can get me one for tomorrow please? Just one, I'll come alone" I ask not giving my dad a chance to speak. I know it's probably not going to be likely to get a ticket but after practice and qualifying I feel like I need to be in the Netherlands for the race. I have such a good feeling about tomorrow.

"Is this the start of it? My daughter coming to races to see her boyfriend and not her papá. That hurts Lucía" my dad says and I know from the tone in his voice he's joking.

"It just means I have two favourite men on the grid now"

"Ooh Lewis won't be impressed. He's been your favourite since you were six years old" my dad says with a laugh knowing I've always thought a lot of Lewis.

"Okay three favourites and that's as far as I'm pushing it" I say laughing with my dad. "Please papá if you can get a ticket please try. I don't mind where I just want to be at the track"

"Even general admission?" My dad asks with a hint of amusement.

"Yes papá I swear anywhere as long as I can be there. I can fly out at 6 am in the morning and be there for the full day before flying home at like 10 pm ready for work on Monday" I explain having already checked flights, practically begging for my dad to find me a ticket.

"Princesita I can get you a ticket I just wanted to know how far you'd go to get one"

"Papá I'd do anything" I think at this point if swimming the North Sea to Zandvoort was an option I'd do it.

"Book the flight Lucía. I'll have your ticket ready for you" thanking my dad I feel like I could cry. I have the most supportive parents ever.

"Can we keep this between us until I get there tomorrow? I want to surprise Lando"

"Your secret is safe with me. I'll see you tomorrow. Keep me updated with your flights please"

"I will. Te amo papá" ending the call with my dad I take a deep breath. Shit I've just decided to go to Zandvoort for a day and I have no outfit planned.

[aevyk-ing]

Okay, second part, here we go...

SPOILERS AHEAD

The new elves. They're interesting. Although, speaking of names... I'm quite aware that "Astrid" means "divine beauty" and has nothing to do with stars. Also, nope, Kosmo, (have you been reading my Tumblr?) Stella is still a stupid name for a monkey.

Anyway, the tower's design is... weird and giving them an affinity with spiders is weirder. I think they're supposed to be like the Air Nomads, being all meditative and stuff, which is interesting. That moment with Kosmo reminded me of that scene in Tintin with the levitating monk.

But then, seriously? A prophecy and Chosen Ones? I know that if someone aks you if you're a god you say yes, but come on. Even though that wasn't developed much (I couldn't stop thinking about Frozen with "melt the frozen heart"), it showed that Rayla doesn't deserve Callum. Yep, I still don't like her since she came back. And even when she finally tries to apologize, he's like "Oh, no, you did nothing wrong". She did! But that's okay, because the last few episodes have been focused on the idea that they're destined to be together and all that when we saw them reconcile at the end of last season. And I really wanted to see another great dream scene and then it ended up being the chakras episode of The Last Airbender, this time getting both love and power (see the problem?). BTW, a nitpick here, but if you have two Chosen heroes, you give them two gifts, not one.

Oh, Sol Regem, you were so right... until the last part. You should have eaten them.

And I knew that was the candy. Like, come on.

Also, what's with all the Viren stuff? We know he's trying to be good, don't give him a sad backstory showing how he's the hero. I can't understand why he's so focused on Soren but left Claudia to rot away when she's also trying to get better. He used black magic but when his own daughter is lost and afraid, he's like: "I didn't ask you to do this. Bye".

So much filler in this episodes. Although I have to say that I always love a good backstory.

Well, let's see how this ends.

[gardenletter]

Yandere Body gard x reader ❤️‍🔥🔪🩸

You were the 3rd child of the CEO to a very powerful company. You weren't the heir of the company by any means but you are the brains. You come up with the plans, measure the stocks... EVERYTHING. But because of your important position you are the number one target to rival companies. You have two older brothers who are the 1st and 2nd heirs. Your oldest brother Callum the face of the company (a VERY HANDSOME one at that) and he was very concerned about your safety as a loving brother and your boss. So he did suggested a bodyguard. You were first opposed to the idea, but there was an act to take your life one night and that overweighed your pride. With Callum's connection, he contacted a few trusted agencies. AND this is where Alessio comes in. He is a very deadly man and usually works on the darker side of the job. Oftentimes working for mafia or mobsters but at the moment was unemployed so he got a notification about a new gig. He opened your file and GOD he was sucked in. They provide a picture of you, basic details of who you were and why you were hiring, and that was enough to get him hooked. He finds your social media and God, he went through every thing finding your favorite food, favorite color even baby photos. And the more he looked the farther he fell. He had to get the job at any cost.

He immediately applied and got scheduled for an interview....

You have interviewed 20 applicants so far and all of them SUCK ASSsssss... To say it kindly, they just try to hit on you or don't meet your needs. There were about two applicants left for the day and you are wayyyy over this but then .... A tall man enters with slicked back, dark hair with a black suit and rolled up sleeves. His tattoos slightly peeking from under his rolled sleeves , he has a strong toned body with veins visible on his forearms and hands. He gives you a warm smile and gently sits across from you.

Let's just say you got lost in his eyes and drooled a little.(sorry lol)

He gently cleaned the drool from your chin and snapped you out of your thoughts.

" oh I-Im so sorry I didn't mea-"

"don't worry Miss/Mr/Mix l/n ready to start the interview?" he says with a smile

"yes, yes of course Mr. Longo"

Poor Alessio can barely contain him self .he is cool and collected on the outside but is internally screaming and going totally fan girl hehehe

Your interview was amazing, he is everything and more than what you need and want. Of course he is more than fitting for the job BUTTT he definitely did research on the interview and knows EXACTLY what to say.

"well Mr.Long I will get back to you later" you smiled

"please call me Alessio"

"ok Alessio"

and When you said his name he almost fell to his knees . He is barely composing himself so he takes his leave. You completely forgot about the last applicant and told your brother that you chose Alessio. (Last applicant: 😶🥹😭👍)

Alessio got to his home and realized he got sent an email. He almost lost it when he read his approval email saying he got the job.

"AMORE MIO YOU WILL BE MINE"

There will probably be a part two if people show interest in the story and my character hopes you are all doing well.

Love gardenletter 💕

[raayllum]

Key to His Heart Theory: Shot Through the Heart, and You're (S5) to Blame

Intro

So a little over a year ago (since usually I think about things meta wise for at least a good month before writing them down), I wrote a meta about why I thought the Key of Aaravos might hold a quasar diamond, specifically Aaravos' missing chest piece. His heart, if you will.

At the time, I thought it was a very strong contender for what the cube might be, even if it didn't necessarily give us a clear depiction on what it might be used for, and was again operating under the assumption the cube itself is something Aaravos even wants back or needs (which is assumption still, at this point).

It made sense loosely with some of the new information we'd gleaned about the cube from S4 (mostly the Callum pawn intro with its bright flashing light, the emphasis on hearts in the narrative with Ezran's speech, the 4x04 flashbacks) and was likewise built upon a previous meta regarding the series' use of Egyptian mythology (Thoth and Ibis being present somewhat in Callum's arc, the main trio's parallels to another Egyptian myth trio, Aaravos' mirror and mirrors as objects of divination, and potential matching symbolism with the ankh).

The Key to His Heart theory was also built on previous seasons — largely the Magma Titan plot line, and Avizandum being stabbed in the heart — in addition to Aaravos' chest piece, seemingly, being notably absent, which seemed indicative of certain lines from the short stories, particularly Rayla (S4's Dear Callum), but we'll talk more about these later:

Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.

If you're interested in this theory and want to know about it, I recommend reading the two metas I've linked above, as the rest of this won't really be delving too much into what I've already written about, and talking about how season five has given more potential evidence.

With that out of the way, let's get into it in rough order of "most to least" likely:

Season Five

TDP Reflections

Whereas hearts weren't mentioned too much in the short stories leading up to S4, they became a reoccurring motif every TDP reflection story going into S5.

Fools. They might as well have held their own hearts, beating and bloody, in the palms of their hands. Kim’dael knew that if she showed them her heart—or something convincingly like it—the Sunfire elves would do exactly what she wanted them to do.

“Rayla,” she said, meeting Redfeather’s gaze. “My name is Rayla. And I’m going home.” Redfeather sighed. “Oh, you bleeding heart.”

“They balk at shadows, then.” Aditi pulled a slip of white-hot metal from the forge and turned to place it upon a gilded anvil. “I see your heart—and I am not afraid.”

It stared up at him. Ezran felt a coldness twist its way around his heart. It took his lungs, too, and for a long moment he could not breathe, could not feel anything but an unfamiliar anger so potent it seized the whole of him, inside and out.

Viren staggers backwards, his last breath shuddering through the blade. His white robes turn red at his heart. Something in Soren’s own chest shatters along old cracks, but he cannot look away. 

“You are stronger than this. All storms end!” Rex rumbled a snort through flared nostrils. “What lies at its heart?” 

 He wept for his city, his people, and the darkness struck deep into their hearts.

While one may say it ends with a sunrise, another will insist it ends at nightfall. Yet at the heart of the story is a single, simple truth…A star fell from the sky.

From where Kim’dael stood, she could only see the brilliant aura of its magic. For a moment, it was as though the queen’s heart overflowed with light.

Now, some of this is undeniably because a heart is a short hand for emotion and one of our most useful metaphors for communicating a variety of emotion. However, I did think it was particularly interesting / eye catching that these lines tended to overlap with the series' growing light and darkness motif and emphasis on wounds/scars (to the point we have a 5x02 episode titled "Old Wounds" that refers to both Viren's past and Callum and Rayla's healing relationship).

But by far the one that struck me the most, and seemed the most reminiscent of how Aaravos's (literal?) wound manifests is this paragraph from Claudia's short story:

Lissa had left her years ago, but the space she had owned in Claudia’s heart remained. It was a dark place now, hard and hateful, its edges raw as a wound that had forgotten to heal.

Mountains had crumbled and left in their wake a vast new sea. It was as though the land had been dealt a great wound and bled a hundred years. Terror washed across the remnants of humanity like a wave: What power could fell mountains? Turn all the world dark, and bleed a sea from stones?

—Ripples (pre-S5)

As well as Aaravos' clear desire to have revenge over the Startouch elves for something that seems to go beyond the resentment over just being banished:

I have not seen the stars in centuries. But when I see them again—when the stars are forced to look upon me, their dark brother—they will know how I have waited. And when everything they have built lies shattered, I will savor their fall from the sky. For I have been patient.

—Patience (pre-S4)

We don't know yet if we are going to get more TDP reflections going into S6 or S7, but given the way the previous stories emphasize the heart as both a symbolic idea (a darkened, hollowed out heart) and a literal entity you can hold in your hands... It's clear there's something going on symbolism else, otherwise why be so consistent? But enough of the reflections, for now.

Time to talk about S5 itself.

Laurelion

Previously, I thought the cube in the intro (a literal glow toy, as Rayla identified back in 1x05) already had similar properties to the star-glow effect in the title intro back at S4.

At the time, this was more of a guess. Most of the Star magic we'd seen at that point we weren't able to fully identify as such, it seemed a bit more magenta in colour, and while there was a parallel in the bright flash of light upon releasing Sir Sparklepuff, there's also a bright flash when the prison is actually made. It's just a good short hand for a crescendo of magical power, you know? We didn't know if quasar diamonds were even going to be white, besides the one presumably in Aaravos' chest concept art wise.

And yet — it still felt like something to me. Then S5 with Laurelion came along.

The Death of the Immortal

K: "And though undying, took last breath, immortal Laurelion was no more." C: That's good, right? I mean when someone "was no more," that's — that's dead, yeah? K: It's a bit confusing, but that is the clearest implication. Though it is somewhat odd they call them undying and immortal. C: Well, that doesn't sound so immortal? Laurelion "was no more". K: Right. C: But how? How did they...? K: Right here. "White as the star's heart it pierced, ivory draconic brought death's bite known ever forth as Novablade." C: It's a sword.

There's a few noteworthy things about this whole exchange:

The poem has to be relevant eventually, otherwise why include it at all when you easily could've just had Kazi and Callum stumble across the sword period?

It confirms that the heart of a star is something that can be pierced, presumably removed, and white, which I think is the biggest "hell yeah" to the 4x04 intro

There is no reason to point out the contradictions in the poem itself unless A) the sword doesn't work the way we think it does and/or B) we are going to find out why the "undying and immortal" thing matters — and they make sure to emphasize the contradictions quite a bit as well, so they definitely want us to notice

If Laurelion died, and Aaravos took his place, that would explain how Laurelion — identity wise — could die while the same person under a new name could also remain alive / immortal

We learn in Rayla's pre-S5 short story that Ghosts don't often keep their real names, and take a new one as the final severance of their bond with their old community. For all extents and purposes, Aaravos was Ghosted (banished) from his community as well. Taking a new name would make sense

"That must've been when [Harrow] fell." "Fell? Fell! He didn't fall, Rayla, he didn't trip and fall on the ground — he got killed!" (2x08)

There's more speculation here regarding the actual sword and draconic ivory, but that is another post for another day that other smart people have made if you are interested. For now let's just focus on the heart.

We know Laurelion had a heart; we know it got stabbed with the Novablade, leaving Laurelion both no more (i.e. dead) and yet immortal / undying. We know that Arc 2 in particular has had an emphasis on losing your sense of self and identity ("I was his puppet" / "We can't save everyone, Soren" / "But I'm not evil. It's me" / all of Viren's dream visions). We know that a Star's heart is white. We know that Aaravos seemingly used to have one, and now it's either missing or impermanent, only visible sometimes.

(Putting a pin in the second image cause we'll roll back around to it in the counter evidence section.)

We know his chest centrepiece glowed when he was imprisoned, and we know it was seemingly gone when he got banished. We know something about the Key of Aaravos was able to reveal his treachery.

I'm not saying any of this is for sure connected, but it does make you think, at least a little?

That, and it'd play into another bit of potential interesting foreshadowing / symbolism we got in s5 with

Viren Heart Theory

This is another theory I've discussed in more detail elsewhere, so I'm going to link to it here, but it wouldn't feel right to not talk about it at least a little here. Basically the theory is that Viren used his own blood / a piece of his heart, or possibly the whole thing, and the relic staff in order to save Soren when he was a young child.

This is largely due to Viren's spotlight turning red after he begs to be able to save Soren, and cinched by Kpp'Ar pointing specifically at Viren's heart only for Viren to deflect and start talking about Soren's case specifically. Whatever he did seemed to make him more 'powerful,' but at a great personal cost ("In the name of love you may perform acts that are so unforgivable, you will never forgive yourself") and something he finds the need to justify ("I had to do something! I had to save him! I had no choice!").

If Viren did this, it also adds another layer to Viren's sentiment of "Harrow's death breaks my heart" being well, half-hearted, in addition to Soren literally stabbing illusion Viren in the heart in 3x09. Viren mutilated his heart for his son's life, stopped being able to properly express love to said son, and then Soren stabbed his father right in the place that presumably saved him as a child. Ouch.

It seems likely that one of the reasons Aaravos was able to prey so aptly on Viren's desire for importance and attention — to Matter — was because Aaravos might've tried and failed earlier on to get the Startouch elves to listen to him pre-banishment. Being ignored, exiled, and disempowered is something he can relate to, and something he doesn't mind taking advantage of when it suits him.

However, if this combination could save someone Viren loved, it makes me wonder if Aaravos did something similar to likewise try (and fail?) to save someone he loved, too. It's either that or the Startouch elves just completely ripped it out, so... I guess we'll have to see?

But yeah — if Viren did it, then I'm expecting it's more likely that Aaravos did it, too. That is all.

The Pawn Intros

But Dragons, you say, didn't we already talk about the Callum pawn intro?

And to that I say yes, but — thanks to a promo S6 picture of Aaravos crying, we know something else very important about said intros that we didn't know before: they take place at the Sea of the Cast Out.

The sky, the mountains... the fact we know, thanks to the statues in 5x09, that this is likely where Aaravos' grief — his wound, if you will — began to bleed and take root, leading to his thousands of years of seeking vengeance and using just about anything or anyone he could. This is, presumably, where his chess game started... and where it is, symbolically at least, going to end.

Okay, so it's the Sea of the Cast Out — why does that matter?

Well, we know the Sea of the Cast Out is a site of literal trauma for Aaravos. We know, thanks to the statues of Aaravos and the Merciful One, that it plays into the same reaching motif we see Viren participate in quite a few times, both in his intro and in other places/relationships (most notably Sarai, Harrow, and Terry).

The Sea of the Cast Out is also, perhaps more importantly for this theory's purposes, near Elarion. What little we do know about the city beyond it being an important place for humans and dark magic ties it repeatedly to nature through The Midnight Star poem:

Elarion, trembling seed, lay down to earth in icy night, and in the cold her roots took hold defying winter’s deathly bite. Elarion, fading bloom, afraid to wilt and dim and die, [...] Elarion, dying husk, did wilt and whimper in the dark [...] Elarion, black-eyed child, her twisted roots spread deep and far,

as well as a tale about the Flowers of Elarion, precious blooms that could soothe the senses and turned to dust come morning—flowers that were left as "a fair exchange of beloved for beloved" (Tales of Xadia). Put a pin that Exchange idea because I swear we're gonna come back to it but not in the usual way you might be expecting, or at least not entirely.

And we have good reason to believe this nature motif is tied to Aaravos' current imprisonment as well, given how present flower imagery is for his mirror.

So the Sea of the Cast Out and Elarion seem to be the two places we know of thus far that are not only the most important to Aaravos, but the most instrumental to his banishment. It would not surprise me if either Aaravos got involved in what would become Elarion either because he was banished, or it was what he was banished over, or if discovering the truth of what happened there is likewise why the Archdragons were partially like "Yeah, we gotta lock this guy up" (now that they knew he posed a serious threat). The fact that Elarion is referred to as a child (everything with "blood of a child,"), black-eyed (which denotes dark magic), and winter's "deathly bite" ("White as the star's heart it pierced, / ivory draconic brought death's bite") just all ties together nicely in being related even if we're not totally sure how.

But Aaravos having his chest piece removed by force / as punishment in addition to being cast out by the Startouch elves, or him taking it out himself and giving it to someone who was lost... There's a lot of roads to get here as to why this stuff all seems connected if the Key is indeed his chest piece, which offers up both a power up, a sad tragic backstory, some baller symbolism, and some nice double meanings as to what it is key wise.

As the Key works in the moment, it doesn't seem like it's something that would be very useful to a primal mage, as other than pretty easily identifiable gemstones they wouldn't be using much the key identifies. However, the function of the Key being able to categorize and sort magical creatures and plants from each other is something that is very useful if you're a dark mage and need to shore up your ingredients list.

If the Key has Aaravos' chest piece in it, there are two main prongs this offers:

It may have been instrumental in helping humans discover dark magic, hence the "Elarion, searing white" and could also be the Gift the poem speaks of. Aaravos removed it himself (love makes you weak?), gave it to his chosen human, chosen human died, and he was locked out of Startouch realm as a combined result. This offers the clearest connection between why Aaravos' mirror has the nature motif and why Aaravos is crying in the beginning of 6x01.

It was removed by the Startouch elves and lost/hidden, forcing Aaravos to be away from his old home until he could find it again. This is the clearest explanation as to why the Key might be relevant on a plot level. It could give him the power up he needs to get out of his prison and barring that, it's what he needs to wreck havoc and gain access to the Startouch elves to get revenge on them

It also allows what we learn of the cube in 2x06 to have multiple meanings:

The Key is revealed in an episode called The Heart of a Titan. We're led to assume that this is just the Magma Titan, and you could perhaps make an argument the dual meaning (just like how Breaking the Seal refers to the letter and the titan's chest) refers to Harrow or Callum's capacity to love. But, given that one of Aaravos' most prominent mythic comparisons is to Prometheus, a literal Titan, well...

"It unlocks something of great power in Xadia" would work equally well if it's a Key literally made from Aaravos, not just to Aaravos. And the past 2 seasons in particular have emphasized over and over again just how powerful and dangerous he is

The salvation and destruction motif that is inherent in the key, ("I just have a feeling this key thing can help me" / "It's the key of Aaravos, no good will come of it") as keys are linked to chains and freedom with the ability to lock and unlock, is rampant in 2x06, as Viren states that Xadia and the Magma Titan "held both the promise of our salvation and threat of our destruction." This goes double for Sarai sacrificing her life to save Viren

And to round back to Viren and his intro, I don't think it's a coincidence that

is one of the first things Aaravos ever says to Viren, particularly when trying to earn Viren's trust. (Nor that Aaravos considers that Zubeia and co. "betrayed" him when "he would lower his guard," just before the imprisonment.) And while Aaravos gains Viren's trust as a political ally here first, it's also clear that he's actually primarily preying upon Viren's deepest emotional desires here as well: to be listened to. To matter.

Viren wasn't listened to by the monarchs around him (Harrow). He wanted to be important (to them). He wanted to matter.

"It is everything to me, to know that I matter. It's all I ever wanted."

Aaravos: Search your heart. There is something you want very badly. (2x09) Zubeia: He was able to give them something they wanted very badly. (4x04)

And that's what Aaravos offered him, with power and knowledge just being the bait. (If you're interested in more detailed thoughts on this aspect of Viren / their dynamic, check out this meta here.)

More to the point, I do lean towards the Key's plot purposes being 1) a power-up that may be needed for him to get out of his mirror and 2) something that likewise allows him to see the other Startouch elves again. After all, the Silvergrove gave each elf a similar kind of key:

But y'know what, let's talk about Rayla now, because

The Missing Piece of Your Heart

As stated earlier, Rayla's letter has a consistent metaphor when it comes to family and loss:

I remember how I felt when my parents left me to join the Dragonguard, like PART OF MY HEART WAS MISSING and I would never feel right again. I thought I hated them when they did that to me. In the beginning, it felt so big and terrible—like raging despair—but, overtime, it became a soft, sweet ache—a reminder of that missing part of my heart. [...] Please don’t let this hurt too much. But, if it does—if you feel that soft aching—know that that piece of your heart isn’t missing. It’s not missing at all, Callum: I’m carrying it with me! Always.

This struck me as interesting when the letter first came out, as it was a departure from most of Rayla's previous heart motif ("My heart for Xadia") and even the one attributed to her one half of her parents ("My heart goes out with this one"). Why have the motif suddenly switch up when it would've worked just as well, or been doubly romantic + a Ruthari parallel, to just have it be the whole heart?

Then season four came out, and I understood, because, well...

Upon her return, Rayla brings back that "missing piece" of "Callum's heart". It's a painful restoration and doesn't run entirely smooth, but in season five in particular we see him be much more like his older, happier self once he's let himself love her again, and how steadfast he is in said love ("To love is simply know this...").

But, in a moment that could've been exclusively about Rayla, nor did it need for Stella's connection to the Star arcanum to be this prominent in the same moment, they choose to likewise highlight Rayla 'bringing home' the missing piece of Aaravos' heart, too.

This symbolism is also consistent with how the key is introduced in the first place, i.e. first thought of because Rayla's drawing in Callum's sketchbook (another gift from Harrow) reminds Callum of it, and her ultimately being the one to retrieve it even once things at the Banther Lodge take a turn towards the south.

Furthermore, we do have reason to believe that Rayla is indeed the 'Key to Callum' in a sense, particularly after 5x08. Just like how a key can both lock and unlock — give freedom or entrapment — Rayla symbolizes a great deal of duality in Callum's life, including but not limited to:

Leading him to primal magic (1x03, 5x08) and dark magic (2x07, 5x08)

Light ("No one can control you or make your choices for you" / Ray of light) and dark ("But the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself" / "Stay safe, and stay in the light. Don't look for me")

Being routinely emphasized in Callum's arc with Aaravos, especially in S4

"Now you're back. That's kind of good, and it's kind of bad" / "You have to hold pain and love in your heart at the same time" / "And when she came back, I was so happy, and so mad at the same time"

Salvation ("Rayla saves people [...] that's what makes her a hero") and destruction (being willing to die / do dark magic for her)

The Ocean arcanum realization being both positive and negative, just as the poem itself takes on a different shape across the season in regards to how Callum views her and how he views himself while being motivated by his love for her / Ezran

“Wow. So [the berries] look identical, but they might kill you or they might save you,” Callum said. “Exactly. Just like me…” Rayla smiled.

—Book One: Sky novelization

If you're interested in a more specific meta on this dichotomy, I recommend this meta written pre-s4 and this more recent one about 5x08 specifically.

I've written before about Rayla have a weird consistency with the cube as well, particularly in her being the primary carrier of its foreshadowing for most of arc 1, with Callum only really doing so in 1x04 and having Rayla pick up the slack the rest of the time:

"It's a toy, a piece from a children's game" (1x04) as well as "It's a glow toy" (1x05) are now literally true as the cube is 1) involved in Aaravos' game and 2) literally glows a bright flashing light circa the 4x04 intro.

"Are you practicing magic or are you losing to Bait at a game of rolly-cubes?" (2x07 right after Callum calls it a key) came to pass, somewhat if not outright, it seems, in 5x08. Callum practices two different magics, Rayla is literal bait in exchange for the glow-toad, and the episode ends with Callum being worried he's potentially losing Aaravos' 'game' so to speak — that he's made himself more vulnerable to the Startouch elf's control.

Two lines of hers regarding the cube that have not yet come to pass are "This doesn't end well for you" (1x05) and "I hope it was worth it to you, putting everyone's lives in danger" (1x04) but I expect that we'll get them soon enough.

Rayla's 'tether' to a the cube does, of course, loop back into the Flowers of Elarion tale, in which there was a fair exchange of beloved for beloved. If the Key does indeed hold Aaravos' heart (and that is still a very big If), whether it would include an actual exchange is still debatable, but it seems inevitable that she would at least play a part. (If you're interested in more thoughts on Rayla + the cube, check out this meta pre-s4.)

Where the game motif gets the most interesting, I think, is where it intersects with the idea Aaravos mentions in 2x09 regarding, "Those who fail tests of love are simple animals," and one of the TDP short stories in particular having one very interesting tidbit:

“My behavior is—?” “—unusual,” Corvus repeated, nodding. “Very unusual. Ever since you started challenging me to all these little games.” Soren squirmed. His pauldrons clanked as his shoulders slumped. “They aren’t games. They’re tests. Ugh…I’m really messing this up.”

Since Rayla is going to have her "My heart for Xadia" undeniably tested, it would make sense if Callum and Aaravos' hearts came into play too, don't you think?

Other Misc Symbolism / Oddities

Last but not least, we have our odds and ends that didn't fit in the other sections, but I thought may be worthwhile to mention anyway.

For starters, we have screencaps (most notably in 3x06) where you can see a visible dip in Aaravos' tiddies chest that indicates something was removed, and it's not just an artificial darkness.

We have Aaravos touching a fist to his heart twice before he bows and indicates that Callum is going to "play" into his hands (remember that game motif?).

We have this shot, which is the exact kind of thing that "crew makes sure the Ocean and Moon runes are most prominently on display in Callum's dark magic dreams to foreshadow him doing dark magic in S5 Ocean for his Moonshadow gf 3 seasons later" would absolutely do and think they're So Funny about. "No gem for star magic" except the one you're unknowingly holding in your hand, am I right?

Finally, we have precedent that dark magic can 'darken' your heart both in show when Amaya passes the light trial ("A human that is pure of heart") and in the graphic novels with Claudia ("Your heart is not yet darkened") which allows her to see the map to a unicorn (The Puzzle House).

@self-spaghettification also noted that the bright white flash of the star in the 'o' of Aaravos' name in the Arc 2 intro momentarily looks like and makes the shape of the Nova Blade, which is also very cool.

Honourable mention to Rayla going "it's a piece from a children's game" and Ezran going "you said each of the archdragons had a piece of the puzzle" and the Orphan Queen and Jailer presumably working together to trap Aaravos. I think about that shit every day.

Evidence to the Contrary / Alternatives

But like I said at the start, there are plenty of alternatives or feasible pitfalls to consider. This theory resides on a few assumptions after all, that may not be true, such as Aaravos not actually needing the key for anything other than as a lure for Callum, it could purely have something to do with the Nova Blade and nothing to do with the prison, or even have something to do with the nature of magic itself, capable of great good as well as great evil.

His chest piece could've always been more immaterial and dark magic has just darkened it rather than it being removed. Aaravos may have stabbed Laurelion in order to use that heart diamond to partially make the Relic Staff he passed onto Ziard, or Aaravos' chest piece could be in the staff itself, and the cube is something else entirely.

Conclusion

In the end, as we go forward into S6 all the above is more less my personal bet as to where I think we really could go in terms of answering a lot of these questions we've had for a few seasons now. I hope you enjoyed reading the theory and considering (and possibly subscribing to) it, as well as getting your own thoughts stimulated. If any of the above happens I will cry for days and no matter what, I am deeply intrigued to see where S6 takes Aaravos' backstory and, of course, his cube. Luckily:

[squishmallow36]

It's all I wish to hear tonight, and you're all I wish to be, and this is how we all fall - Chapter Two

Summary: the garvar fic has turned garvarioli! We've done a bit of a time skip because I didn't want to write the dating and the blushing and the getting to know each other blah blah blah. So now they're just in a relationship and the fact I didn't feel the need to slowburn it is astonishing to me. Anyway Garwin's gonna be joining the Neverseen officially. Yeah that's pretty much the whole plot.

Word count: 3011

TW: drug mention, murder mention, implied sex, swearing. This is the farthest into pg-13 territory I've gone but these idiots demand it.

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @remember-me-in-another-time @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death @dizzeners @thefoxysnake

The people who aren't on my taglist and I'm sorry for bothering you but you lost your minds on the last chapter so uh you did this to yourself (?): @camelspit @tw-5

On Ao3 (users only because, you know, AI) or below the cut

Previous chapter in case you missed it, but you don't really need it to read this :)

    “You know, if you ignore all the work camps, Sadlitzagvadtka is a lovely place,” Alvar remarks. 

    Ruy’s laugh drags Garwin’s attention from the bubbling Eventide River, bright green as it crashes against the rocks. 

    “I mean, you could say the same thing about the USSR,” Garwin muses. 

    “Yes, but we ignore those parallels, love. I don’t want to have to send you to the gulag.” Alvar replies, crossing one leg over the other as he takes a sip of his choyi. 

    Much like most of the foods of the non-Forbidden Cities, choyi looks nothing like how it tastes. The sludgy green slime is in a direct contrast to its strawberry lemonade milkshake flavor. Although how it doesn’t curdle is apparently “beyond human comprehension.”

    That’s just code for “we don’t know and we don’t want to admit it.” It was annoying at first, but it’s kind of become a running joke. 

    What the rest of the Neverseen doesn’t seem to grasp is that he does the same thing to them whenever he doesn’t feel like telling them about some cursed human shit. 

    They absolutely lost their shit when he told them about Twinkies. If they can’t handle apocalypse-proof snack cakes, there’s a hundred other food crimes several points higher on a logarithmic scale they won’t be able to conceptualize without their pathetic little elvin brains shattering. 

     Like pineapple on pizza. 

    Garwin can’t physically have less of an opinion, but the idea of having to explain the concept to elves makes him want to jump off a cliff. And not in the Sophie-teleportation way. 

    Hey--don’t think about that bitch. First she’s accepted into Yale with a full scholarship and now she has four abilities. Apparently she’s some sort of science experiment. I hope they transposed a decimal place. 

    “What am I in for tomorrow?” Garwin asks after a moment of silence. 

    Alvar opens his mouth, but Ruy interrupts him before he gets the chance. “Cállate, mi vida. Sharing any details would be a violation of the Neverseen code article seven, section three, ‘the council is always watching so don’t discuss confidential shit in public.’”

    “I call bullshit. You people are nowhere near organized enough to have an official code.”

    “Well, yes,” Alvar concedes. “But it’s more fun if you don’t know what’s going to happen. Besides, I’m sure Fintan has cooked up some interesting changes from when we swore fealty, so anything we tell you could be completely wrong by now.”

    “Yes, but I’m sure at least one of you have been involved in the planning,” Garwin argues. 

    “We can neither confirm nor deny that,” Ruy says, admitting his guilt. 

    Garwin rolls his eyes. I picked these dumbasses over going to a nice, normal, human, non-ivy league school ? I mean--at least there’s no finals. I guess. 

    He takes a sip of his choyi.

    “I promise it won’t be that painful,” Alvar says in an effort to remedy the situation, earning himself a glare from Ruy. 

    Garwin leans forward, head resting in his cupped hands. “And when did you become such a goody little two shoes rule follower, Exilium boy?”

    Ruy rolls his eyes behind his addler, because of course he has it on. We’re in public--well, sort of, as there literally aren’t any ogres in a hundred foot radius--and that means we’ve gotta wear the addler. 

    It’s like how Garwin also conditioned himself to wear the same sweatshirt almost every single day one school year like it’s his own personal security blanket but we don’t talk about that. 

    But now the elves have stupid capes, so that solves that problem. Even if he doesn’t have an officially licensed Neverseen cape until probably tomorrow. Unless there’s some elaborate scheme being planned. Which of course there will be. This is what happens when you take three or more gay idiots and tell them to plan something. 

    If it ain’t absolute batshit, what’s the fucking point? 

    Alvar’s smile falls as he pulls out his Imparter. He must be getting harassed once again. This is why Garwin doesn’t have one. Well, that, and the fact that he’s not a legal resident of the Lost Cities. Same thing. 

    “Y’all can see that I’m busy right now so I can’t answer a hail, right?” he says tiredly. 

    “Yes, indeed.” Garwin throws back the last of his choyi, smiling. 

    “The Fork Man wants me for some shit and I’m having a good day, so he will be getting ignored for a while. Are we really sure I can’t come out to the Bullshit?��� 

    “Bullshit” is Garwin’s nickname for the Black Swan because it both represents their ideology and, at least in English, they can be abbreviated the same way. At least his pathetic short human life will be worth something, even if it is just an inside joke that’s more explanation than it’s worth. 

    “You know what Fintan’s orders are, and if you don’t wanna get burnt to a crisp, I’d recommend following them. Now, that doesn’t mean he knows what he’s doing. It’s just a matter of self preservation. I don’t make the rules around here. If I did, we’d have to replace more Councillors than just the one.”

    Alvar rolls his eyes at his Imparter. “The Fork Man is being very insistent. I have a feeling I’m gonna have to drop you two off at home and talk to him. Be prepared for some shit to be going down soon, regardless of whether or not I have a chance to share details.” He turns to his imparter, inventing new swear words just to curse at the Fork. 

    Like he said, Alvar drops Ruy and Garwin off at “home”--their assigned room at a Neverseen facility Garwin’s not allowed to know any details about--to much argument. He shan’t be allowed to have all the fun without them but alas, ‘tis the way the world works sometimes. 

    The next morning, Garwin sleepily blinks himself back to the land of the living, snuggled into the crook of Ruy’s neck, but there’s no Alvar to be found. 

    He better fucking be okay. 

    Ruy’s hand absently twirls Garwin’s hair, and when he notices that Garwin is slightly less dead to the world than usual, he smiles. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”

    “It’s still morning? Damn. Guess I gotta go back to sleep. Need my beauty rest.”

    “Bitch, no amount of sleep is gonna help.”

    Garwin huffs, turning away from Ruy. “Fuck you.”

    “So soon after last night, mi amor?”

    Garwin leans back to look at him. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”     

    “Yeah.” Ruy presses a soft kiss to his lips. God damn. If you weren’t so fucking hot, J wouldn’t put up with you. Love you, Rue. 

    Garwin kisses him again, pulling him close. 

    Ruy gently pushes him back. “Finny’s gonna be pissed if we miss the prescheduled time.”

    “Fuck Finny.”

    “Look, I get that you’re polyam. I know, no shit, Sherlock. But there is no way I’m going anywhere near him or near you again if you do. Man’s got his own harem.”

    “Ooh, please do elaborate.” 

    “Let’s see…I’ve heard rumors that he and Bronte are or were a thing. Not sure if they’re still a thing though, considering the war crimes, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were. And then have you ever wondered about the alliance with the Ogres? Dimitar. Fintan. Yeah. Then there’s Fallon, one of the original three Councillors. And I’m not completely sure on this one but there’s a prisoner in Lumenaria and I’ve got mixed evidence but I don’t doubt it. Uh, then there’s J.R.R. Tolkien. You might’ve heard of him because he’s a human. And how could we forget Shakespeare. He’s…also a human. If I remember correctly. I’m sure there’s more that I’m missing because I have actively tried to ignore everything, but yeah.”

    With each name, Garwin regrets his life choices more and more. And more. “What the fuck do you mean Shakespeare? Like, the one of the William variety? The playwright?” 

    “Yeah. Sometimes Finny drops into iambic pentameter just to make us suffer. Are you really sure you want to be exposed to all of the Neverseen drama?”

    “Might gouge my eyes out but, eh, whatever. Sounds fun. If Yale doesn’t want me I guess I’ll have to cause large amounts of havoc instead.”

    Ruy smiles. “I’m going to go foraging for some semblance of a breakfast that doesn’t taste like dogshit. Don’t cause too much havoc while I’m gone.”

    “No promises.”

    Ruy shakes his head as he gets up, joints singing the song of his people--the Rice Crispy elves. 

    Garwin throws on some clothes and inhales breakfast before he’s led to a hideout he’s never seen before. 

    This one is really fucking bleak and really fucking disappointing. There’s probably tetanus on every surface of the grimy, ragged brick walls. It’s the exact kind of place where you should expect to have your body never found, but honestly if they’ve waited this long to kill him, that’s kind of their own poor planning. 

    A set of stairs leads into the even more murder-y looking abyss below. 

    Having no better options, Garwin slowly begins to make his way down without slipping on the mossy, uneven stairs and falling and bonking his head and dying. 

    At the bottom, he finds a room, larger than it seems like it should be, lit entirely by flickering, yellow candlelight. It catches on bottles of what appears to be wine set into racks every few feet or so. 

    He will never admit that this reminds him of a short story he was forced to read--and perhaps even enjoyed reading--in ninth grade English. 

    As Garwin steps closer to the middle of the room where a space has haphazardly cleared, he notices the first of many cloaked figures, white eyed lapels glowing in the dim light.

    In total, around a dozen figures surround him, and he searches for Ruy in the crowd. Well, it’s not exactly a crowd, per se, but it feels like one in the cramped space. 

    It doesn’t take much effort to find him, with his long, dark hair curling out and escaping the hood. 

    That being said, Garwin can tell who most of the figures are without trying. From Umber’s absolutely sunny disposition to Fintan’s concave ass, it’s not exactly difficult. It’s just a little dissatisfying that Alvar isn’t there.

    Fintan lowers his hood like it’s some huge reveal, whispering ominously, “Garwin Chang. You wish to join our order?”

    Garwin nods. “That’s…kind of why I’m down here. Although these wine bottles do look like they could be some fun.”

    A low, overprotective growl echoes behind him as his fingers trace the label written in fancy Trollish. One of the many, many languages not on Duolingo that no one bothered to teach him how to read. Hell, most of the time he can barely read English but that’s an issue for a different day. 

    “I trust you know you’re the first non-member of an intelligent species to join our ranks in a long while,” Fintan says. Garwin’s hand falls to his side. 

    “I wouldn’t exactly call Ruy intelligent, but okay.”

    That got a couple of snickers out of the crowd and a death glare from Ruy despite most of his face being cast in shadow. 

    “Well, you got me there. I was prepared to make a convoluted line of reasoning like I’m hopped up on a cola before all of those pesky safety regulations were introduced, but you made it for me instead.”

    Wait, is he an old man bitching about New Coke or is referring to when the recipe had cocaine? Or just…caffeine? And sugar? Any of the above interpretations are fucking hilarious, so it doesn’t matter which is true. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t an objectively best answer. 

    “The rest of the requirements are simple: do you promise to do everything in your power to help our world?”

    “Yeah, sure. Why not?” Garwin shrugs, smirking. 

    “Convince me.” Fintan’s icy gaze stares into Garwin’s soul. A threat behind his words.

    “I’ve been seeing Alvar and Ruy for months on end now. Do you really think I would go through all of that if I wasn’t committed? I could’ve blackmailed my way into a Yale scholarship long ago, but I’ve stayed. And for what? Because I almost care about this place not being a shithole. Also because there aren’t any taxes but we don’t need to mention that.”

    “Yeah, the cost of living is real fucking low when you’re mooching off of Alvar,” Ruy mutters. 

    Cállate. 

    …Holy fuck, Ruy has infected my brain. I don’t like this. How dare he keep sprinkling Spanish into everyday conversation? It’s like he wants to prove that he’s not an idiot to this human idiot because he knows, like, four words in a human language.     

    In reality, it’s because he lived in an undisclosed Spanish-speaking country during his time at Exilium and hasn’t broken the habit. But why be reasonable when you can be petty and bitter because he knows more Spanish than you do even after taking it for three years? 

    To be completely fair, he didn’t pay attention and convinced a kid to send him pictures of the homework and cheated on the tests, but in his defense, he didn’t realize he’d need it later in life. At least Google Translate exists all of its glorious inaccuracy. 

    “I bestow upon thee thou official codename: Elay.” Fintan says, bowing his head. “Alvar came up with it so don’t ask me what it means. Normally each person gets to pick out their own, but he was insistent and it’s not important enough to me to argue with him.”

    Yeah, that sounds about right. Gonna have to ask Alvar about it later. Maybe he’s avoiding me because he doesn’t want a full interrogation in the middle of this murder chamber. Yeah--let’s go with that. It’s better than imagining him in a Black Swan murder chamber. 

    Fintan takes a metal rod and heats it until it glows a faint red, bright in the dim light, knighting Garwin. And thankfully not sizzling his ears off in the process. 

    Fintan nods at a hooded figure Garwin only knows by his codename and that he’s a guster. “Trix, if you please?”

    Trix hands Garwin a bundle of dark fabric, emblazoned with a bright white eye. 

    It unfolds like the little bitch folded things always are, causing unattached pieces of concerningly neon fabric to fall to the ground. 

    As Garwin reaches to pick them up, it becomes all too clear that they’re not only bright pink and orange but also a very, very 80s leotard and legwarmers.

    What the actual everliving fuck?

    …and also maybe Fintan did mean New Coke. 

    It’s up to the stars above to decide which is a worse revelation. 

    “You know, Ruy, if you wanted me to wear this, you could’ve just asked. No need for all of this.”

    Ruy flips him off. He’s probably glare-smiling behind the hood though. 

    Garwin drapes the cloak part of the Neverseen uniform around his shoulders. It’s wonderfully heavy, like a weighted blanket, but surprisingly breathable. It’s probably made from a gnomish fabric which is weird because the gnomes hate their guts as much as plants are capable of hate. 

    And now I’ll finally be allowed to know why that is.

     The crowd begins shifting around him, escaping slowly up the narrow steps and light leaping away to god knows where, and soon only Ruy and Garwin are left. 

    “I got an update from Alvar,” Ruy smiles mischievously. “This should be a fun first assignment for you.”

     No fewer than three light leaps later, Garwin is in the Lodestar system, standing in front of a blonde boy with ice blue eyes. He’s immediately recognizable from Alvar’s stash of pictures he keeps to pretend like he’s still connected to his family. 

    He also knows Sophie, a regrettable decision. 

    “Meet our new son: Keefe,” Alvar says, mussing his hair. 

    Keefe flinches away. “Bitch, I’m literally only, like, six years younger than you,” he complains. “Also hasn’t my dad fucked your dad?” He puts air quotes around both uses of “Dad.” Fun family dynamic and it hasn’t even been five minutes yet. 

    “I do believe I was the one who told you about that.” Alvar turns to Ruy and Garwin. “I’ll take first shift babysitting.”

    “Nonsense. I don’t trust Garwin nearly enough to be by himself and you’ve been up all night causing problems and destroying half of Ravagog--”

    “--which is a perfectly normal way to spend an evening, thank you very much.”

    “--so you will be going home and you will take a nap. I’ll make sure Blondie here doesn’t have any tricks up his sleeve.”

    There’s a glint on Alvar’s eye that looks like he wants to argue, but a yawn cuts him off before he gets the chance. 

    Garwin almost has to physically drag him back home, partially from him being tired and partially from him not wanting to go to bed because some days he acts like a toddler. 

    “Sorry I couldn’t be at your coronation today.”

    Garwin kisses his cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure sooner or later, Ruy’s gonna end up doing a whole reenactment except I actually get walled into the wine cellar this time.”

    Alvar laughs halfheartedly. 

    “And, besides. It’s not like it’s gonna change much. Do I still hate the elvin government? Yes. Is the Bullshit still a bunch of useless dumbasses? Yes. Are you still going to tell me shit that’s way above my pay grade? Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s just now I don’t have to steal your cape when it’s cold out. But I will anyway for old times’ sake.” 

    “Unmapped stars, you’re such a little shit.”

    Well, if you can’t make your boyfriend regret being with you, what’s the fucking point? 

  “And yet you’ve repeatedly chosen to not leave me to die in the middle of the neutral territories. So who’s the real winner here?”

    Alvar sighs, shaking his head. 

    God damn, he’s cute when he’s annoyed. 

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Taming Arrogance - Chapter 20

*Warning Adult Content*

The flight home is unbearable.

Our seats aren't together this time and I'm left fending off my anxiety while sitting beside a middle aged woman who is so large she takes up all of her seat and half of mine.

The turbulence is worse this time around, too.

The plane bumping and skidding through the tormented winds.

I try to distract my mind but every time my thoughts move to something else, they inevitably fall back on Blake.

I can't help but wonder if he requested to sit apart from me.

My stomach churns at the thought or maybe that's the burrito I had at the airport.

The woman beside me adjusts in her seat, smashing my finger on the arm rest with her elbow.

I wiggle it out from under her and curse, inspecting my finger for damage.

The entire thing goes unnoticed by her and I huff before shoving myself as far as I can towards the window.

Wisps of dark clouds scamper past the small window and I chant over and over to not look down. '

This sucks. It really, fucking sucks.'

By the time we land, my hands are stiff and snow white from gripping my arm rests so hard.

I don't bother waiting for Blake before going to our baggage claim.

He didn't even give me a chance to explain myself but if he wants to be apart from me, fine.

Two can play at that game.

There aren't a lot of people at baggage claim by the time I get down there and I stare at the dark suitcases as they start brushing into view.

The belt whines as bag after bag passes by at a snail's pace.

My foot starts bouncing after a few minutes pass, my impatience getting the better of me.

I just want to get my luggage and get the fuck out of here.

As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason for me to see Blake again until work on Monday.

The man is infuriating.

Yeah, so I had Cade in my hotel room overnight.

It's not like anything happened.

'But he doesn't know that,' the voice in my head challenges me with a persuasive edge and I brush it aside.

Even if we had done something, it's not Blake's business anyway.

Isn't he the one who just broke up with fag-tard Phil?

It's not like we're together or some shit like that.

My prior guilt and trepidation begins to melt away to the heat of anger bubbling up inside me.

A dark blue suitcase with a white stripe down the side comes into view and with muscles taut with irritation, I hoist it off the belt.

If Blake is around, I don't see him.

If he sees me, he doesn't try to stop me as I head out the doors of the airport and hail a cab.

If my company wasn't good enough for him on the plane, than his isn't good enough for me on the drive home.

The cab driver gets out of the car and helps me put my bag in the trunk.

When the two of us are back in the car, he turns around with a half-hearted smile.

"Where to?"

********

As well-played as I thought my idea was to travel home alone from the airport, it only makes things worse.

The terrible flight manifests into a terrible weekend and then an even worse first week back to work.

When another Monday rolls around, I have zero motivation to walk inside those doors at all.

Blake's clinical kindness has down-graded to a state of indifference that even the most aloof people would find offensive.

It's not my imagination, either.

I see the way people whisper when I walk past, their gossip circulating like wildfire how, in a matter of a few days, I fell out of Blake's good graces.

By the end of last week, I began to wonder if Blake noticed my presence at all.

My eyes flicker to the time on the dashboard.

With a heavy sigh I get out of my car, slamming the door shut behind me.

A few other cars sprinkle the lot but for the most part, it's a ghost town.

I do my best to avoid as many customers and fellow employees as possible but by mid-morning my name blares across the speakers.

"Callum Greene, you have a call on line three. Callum Greene, line three."

I head towards the nearest work phone in the break phone and pick it up.

"Hello?"

"I need you in my office please. Now."

Click.

The call disconnects and I slam it back on the receiver.

Just hearing Blake's voice sends unwanted waves of desire prickling across my skin.

What the fuck happened to me in the past few weeks?

I shake my head and trudge to Blake's office, my palms sweating with uncertainty.

I see the man on an-almost daily basis.

So why has my confident ability to be around him dissolved to dust?

His door is ajar and I give it a tentative knock.

"Come in."

I step inside and suck in a breath.

I haven't been in Blake's office in almost a week.

Is the fact that I'm in here now a good thing or bad?

Blake doesn't look up from his stack of papers as he mumbles for me to close the door.

After a beat of silence, he sets his pen aside and lifts his gaze.

His guarded eyes settle on my face and I think it's the first time he's looked at me, really looked at me, since were in Florida.

I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks just having his attention on me again.

"Please, sit," Blake instructs.

I sit without question, my spine ramrod straight.

Blake fiddles with his cufflink and a deep frown creases the space in between his eyebrows.

He shifts his eyes away from me and I have the sinking feeling he's letting me go.

"Am I being fired?" I ask, my voice so timid it's humiliating.

"No, Mr. Greene. You're not being fired."

My shoulders sag with endless relief.

Then curiosity takes hold and I start wondering just where this is headed.

Blake leans forward, resting his elbows on the edge of his desk.

He clears his throat.

"I believe I owe you an apology."

'An apology?' My ears perk. 'This is it. He's going to apologize for being so cold and callous the past week.'

Maybe he'll even add in a comment or two about abandoning me and making me sit next to Fat Bertha on the airplane.

I almost have to hold back a giddy chuckle as I wait for him to continue.

"My behavior while we were in Florida was unprofessional. Inexcusable even."

My grin slips.

'Wait. What?'

"You are, first and foremost, my employee. I should have treated you as such," Blake continues, eyes never meeting mine.

"I apologize for letting things get out of hand. I'm not sure what got into me. Maybe it was just the stress but I assure you, Mr. Greene, it won't happen again."

My heart picks up speed as the full impact of his words unfold.

He's not sorry for anything last week.

Instead he's apologizing for the possessive moments, the stolen kisses and the intimate touches.

He's apologizing for the very memories that consume my thoughts every night while I drift off to sleep.

Of its own accord, my tongue swipes across my bottom lip, a silent reminder that Blake's lips were against them at one time.

I run a hand through my hair and slump back in the chair.

I've ended plenty of 'flings' over the past few months.

None of them amounted to much but a few chicks ended up shedding tears as they left the confines of my bedroom walls. Is this what they felt like when they left?

A gift-wrapped pile of shit?

"Oh..." my voice trails off.

I feel like an idiot.

What was I expecting to happen when I came in here?

For us to pick up where we left off?

To live out some sort of fantasy office romance?

'Hahaha. Looks like the jokes on me.'

The emotions tumbling through my body are so foreign and intense my head starts to pound in pain.

Blake looks at me again.

The hardness of his expression is gone and his eyes search my face with a hopeful gaze.

He's looking at me as if he wants me to challenge his words.

To give some indication that this isn't what I want.

Every inch of me wants to argue, to give up my pride and let him touch me as much and in whatever way he wants.

It's all I think about, anyway but my pride doesn't work like that.

Instead it flares with every bit of strength it can muster, extinguishing my only opportunity to change the outcome through silent acceptance.

I swallow hard, trying to fight down the feeling of regret.

"It's all good," I say, my eyes focused on the corner of one of his file folders.

"Already forgotten about."

I can't bring myself to look at Blake, though I can tell by the change in his position that he's disappointed.

He picks up his pen and points the end of it towards the door.

"Wonderful," he says, his voice distant and cold.

"I have work to do, now. You're dismissed."