#didn’t mean for that second paragraph to go that long lol

[misc-obeyme]

Demon Brothers as Doms Headcanons

Here it is, as requested by anon! I don't know if these are better or worse than the demon bros as subs version... I honestly can't tell lol. But hopefully you guys enjoy them. I will be doing the side characters, too, so stay tuned for that.

GN!MC x the demon brothers

Side Characters as Doms Bros as Subs

NSFW MDNI

Note: We got another paragraph of warnings. Some of them are a little more detailed, but most of them are just mentioned.

Warnings: Sub!MC, bondage, blindfolds, gags, multiple orgasms, edging, orgasm denial, overstimulation, manhandling, begging, praise, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, collars, dacryphilia, tailfucking (and related tail stuff), drooling, jealousy, cockwarming, mirror sex, exhibitionism, toys, aphrodisiacs, magic stuff, blood kink, biting, size kink, food play, somnophilia, wet dreams, semi-public sex, after care, cuddling, and kissing. HOO BOY. I hope that's all of it, if not lemme know and I'll add stuff.

Lucifer

He has intense dom vibes and he knows it. He will be strict and harsh with you if that’s what you want, but if left to his own choices, Lucifer becomes a pleasure dom. All he really wants is to make you come over and over and over again. He doesn’t care what it takes, he’ll use his cock, his fingers, his tongue, anything and everything as long as it makes you cry out his name in ecstasy. He likes the way it makes his pride swell.

He’s a strong and powerful demon. If he wants you in a certain position, he will put you there himself. He has no problem manhandling you a little, but he’ll be careful about it. He very much enjoys tying you up and he’s a master at shibari. His other favorite thing is blindfolding you. He likes when you aren’t aware of when he’s going to touch you.

Lucifer is absolutely the type of demon that will do subtle things outside of the bedroom to make you crazy. A hand on the back of your neck, a brief squeezing of your arm, a whispered “behave” or even just a look that says everything. They’re all warnings - be careful, MC, or he’ll be dealing with you later in private.

He likes to be called sir, but he’s willing to discuss other options. He’s very bossy, though, and will give you orders constantly. If you’re good and compliant, he’ll reward you to the point where you’ll probably forget your own name. But if you’re a brat, he won’t hesitate to punish you. He likes to make you wait, so he might tie you up in his office and then not touch you while he works on his stacks of paperwork. He wants to see how long it takes you to start begging.

And begging does him in every time. Because the minute you break down and beg for him, his pride takes over. He’ll smirk and likely tease you and say something about how he’s not surprised that it didn’t take long.

But in the end, Lucifer likes to make you moan and cry and come, which means he’ll do whatever it takes to get you to do that. Do you have a praise kink? He will shower you with it while he’s deep inside you. Do you have a degradation kink? He will make a point of finding the words that make you clench around him in pleasure.

Mammon

Surprisingly good at being a dom, but far less restrained than Lucifer is. He’s going to do all kinds of things to get a reaction out of you, but the second you moan his name, he’s moaning right along with you. But not before he takes the time to get your full consent and makes sure you know all your safe words. He wants to go all out, but he wants you to feel safe with him.

Mammon is a bit too impatient to do things like tying you up intricately. He’s going to go for things like handcuffs or gags. He finds he likes the way you moan low in your throat when your mouth is otherwise occupied. Similarly, he loves when you suck on his fingers. He’ll remove them sooner than he expected, though, because he wants to listen to you beg.

He’s cautious at first, giving you easy orders to test the waters. If you’re generally obedient, he’ll push a little harder, go a little further, see just how much you can take. He will absolutely become a brat tamer, though, so if you’re more inclined to mouth off, you can expect swift punishment. He can’t take too much disobedience and he’ll get impatient with you quickly. Punishments can range from spankings to orgasm denial depending on how irritated he is. But they don’t last long because he just really wants to fuck you silly.

He’s constantly buying you things to wear. He obviously has a preference for gold, but whatever he just likes to see you on display in something nice. If you’ll wear a collar, he will absolutely be thrilled to buy you the nicest one he can find. It makes him a little crazy any time he catches a glimpse of it outside the bedroom.

The King of After Care. When things are calm again, he gets very clingy. He’s going to want to cuddle you all night, whispering in your ear about how good you were for him, asking you if you’re doing all right. If you endured punishment or any kind of pain, he’ll make sure you’re recovering from it. He just loves you so much, MC.

Leviathan

Surprises both you and himself by being a really good dom. It’s like he flips a switch and suddenly he’s all confidence, but it’s only possible with you. However, it can also get really intense really fast and he might not realize how far he’s going. Communication is key with Levi. You need it to even get him to start being more dominant to begin with, but then you also need it when he’s a little lost in the sauce.

Because he finds that dominating you makes him lose his whole mind. When you’re whimpering or begging, he just wants more and more. He loves to hear you whine his name. He likes it when you cry, so he will try to make it happen. He’ll use pain or insults or anything else he can find that will work. But if it does happen, he’ll get soft when he sees the tears on your cheeks. Then he’ll start praising you and telling you how perfect you are and how much he loves you.

He likes to use his tail for all kinds of things. He’ll wrap it around your body, pinning your arms to your sides, and put the tip of it in your mouth until you’re drooling around it. He’ll use it to spank you if he thinks you’re in need of punishment. But his favorite thing is just to fuck you with it.

To nobody’s surprise at all, Levi is a jealous dom. If you so much as look at someone else, he will notice and make you pay for it later. His favorite punishment method is orgasm denial. He’s trying to make you forget about anyone but him and he’ll ask you while he’s edging you who you’re thinking of. He wants to hear you cry and tell him that he’s the only one you ever think about.

Levi will definitely start out with degradation and some dirty talk - he’s likely going to tell you how much of a whore you are for him - but by the end of things, he’ll switch to praise. He starts to come out of dom mode and then he actually feels bad. Depending on how you react, he will likely apologize before pampering you to make up for all the nasty things he said. If you laugh at him about it, he’ll just blush. He gets embarrassed about how much he can lose himself. Don’t hold it against him, MC! He’s just obsessed with you.

Satan

By far the most balanced dom of all the brothers. He’s always so careful about keeping his wrath under control, the very last thing he would ever want to do is give in to it during a scene with you. It’s a tricky balance, but he manages to find a good middle ground. He focuses on you the most, but don’t think that means he’ll be lenient with you.

Satan is really good at interpreting how you’re feeling in the moment based on how you react to him. He’s able to tell when he should get more intense and when he should back off. As for himself, he prefers to control you with words. He’ll tie you up if you want him to, but he’s more interested in simply telling you what to do. And he’s clear about what will happen if you disobey.

Although he’s careful about keeping himself level headed when he’s punishing you, just know that he won’t hold back. There really isn’t any kind of punishment he isn’t willing to employ and he’ll find the one that has the most impact on you while still getting his message across.

Definitely prefers praise over degradation. He will be rambling the whole time he’s doing anything with you and it’s all romantic poetry. It starts out really flowery, but eventually kind of devolves into how perfect you are, how good you feel, etc. This is the guy who will spank you and recite sonnets to you at the same time, probably timing his swats with the iambic pentameter.

Satan also really enjoys cockwarming. He’ll have you sit in his lap while he reads, just to see how much you can take. Scolds you gently any time you move too much. Be good and hold still for him, MC. In the end, he’s the one who can’t take it, but he frames it as taking pity on you. You’re both probably aware of the truth, but neither of you will say anything. And anyway, you’re content to let him bend you over and pound into you if it means finally feeling that sweet relief.

Asmodeus

The most versatile of doms, he can be anything you want. You want him strict? Done. You prefer a soft dom? Easy. You just want him to make you come as many times as possible? It would be his pleasure.

If you’re too shy to tell him what you want, that’s okay, too. He’s able to feel out what will make you react the most. And that’s what he goes for. He just wants to experience you losing your mind over him.

He really can do it all, but he’s also going to bring his own flare to the situation. You have sooo much mirror sex. If you’re willing to try exhibitionism, he will really push the limits of that, too.

Asmo will also have a lot of toys, accessories, and clothing items. He’s always suggesting something new and interesting. You just won't believe what he found, MC! He likes to explore with you, to see what you’ll tolerate. This also includes things like aphrodisiacs or magic related things. He’ll always take care of you after you use something like that, but he’s often finding new things to try.

If you don’t really give him any guidelines and let him run the show entirely, he will step up to the challenge. It turns out he really enjoys making you submit to him. He finds he has a fascination with your blood. He loves the way it looks against your skin. He also loves to see it on his own lips, so you can be sure he’ll be drawing it by biting you.

Asmo really loves to tie you up and have his way with you. He enjoys sensory deprivation - blindfold, gag, etc. - he likes to keep you guessing. He wants you to react to his touch the most, loves the way you shiver in anticipation of what he’ll do next.

Mixes pleasure and pain so effectively, you almost can’t tell which one you’re experiencing. He’ll be using his fingers masterfully on your sensitive spots at the same time that he’ll be digging his nails into your back.

This is his area of expertise, so there’s no way he’s going to let you go with only one orgasm. He’s going to make sure you have multiple before he's done with you. He loves overstimulation. If you start crying, he’ll coo at you and wipe your tears, but he won’t stop.

Always doms in demon form. He can’t help it, he’s fully embodying his sin. No matter what he’s doing with you, he wants you to remember that you’re being dominated by the Avatar of Lust.

Beelzebub

The softest of soft doms. He’s not really into degradation, so he’s going to shower you with praise instead. He’s just going to mumble into your skin about how amazing you are and how lucky he is and so on and so forth. But don’t think that makes him a pushover.

Beel is a big strong demon and he will manhandle you. Probably his favorite thing is to just sit you in his lap and move you himself. You’re riding him, but he’s doing all the work.

He’ll tie you up if you want him to, but he’s more likely to use things like blindfolds or gags. Only one at a time, he doesn’t want you completely helpless. He secretly likes it when you struggle against him, so he likes to keep your hands free.

Beel has a bit of a size kink where he likes his partners smaller than him, which works out because he’s just generally much larger than most people. Even if you’re larger for a human, that’s still just a lil cutie to him. This kinda ties into the manhandling thing - he likes to pick you up and move you around himself. And he can do it, too, because of his size and strength. You might as well get used to it at this point.

He doesn't really enjoy inflicting pain. He's far more likely to use positive reinforcement than punishments. But if he has to get serious with you, it's going to be stuff like edging, orgasm denial, or overstimulation. If you're crying it's because of how he's making you feel, not because he's hurting you or insulting you. He finds it's just as effective, too.

If you ask, Beel will do pretty much anything you want. He'll work through the discomfort of hurting you if you enjoy it.

As always, Beel loves food. He'll involve any kind of food play he possibly can because he really can't help himself. It's like the ultimate expression of his sin - to involve food in these intimate moments with you.

Another one who will be incredibly attentive during after care. He wants to make sure you're okay. He will stay beside you as long as you need him. Probably brings you drinks and snacks, too. He's already been praising you all night, but prepare yourself for even more. You are everything to him, MC.

Belphegor

Kinda lazy for a dom, to nobody’s great surprise. He enjoys being one, but he tires out quickly. If he can make you do all the work, he will. Expect him to give you a lot of orders.

He really loves when you beg. He wants to see you on your knees and if you beg enough, he’ll fill your mouth with his cock. You look so good, MC.

He’ll leave you tied up and unattended, too. He’ll just sit there and watch you, see how much you can handle before he does anything.

Belphie is, of course, into somnophilia. If you give him the go ahead, it’s going to be any time he wakes up with you in his arms. If you’re still sleeping soundly, he wants you to stay asleep, he’ll just take care of things himself. But if you do wake up, he'll probably whisper quietly in your ear about how he's just making all your wet dreams come true. In fact, we also know Belphie can go into dreams, so… you can expect your normal dreams to become wet dreams if he shows up.

He likes exhibitionism and semi-public sex. He likes fucking you in places where you’re right next to other people, but you’re still trying to stay hidden. So he’ll use his hand to cover your mouth, trying to muffle your noises. But it’s only because he likes the way it feels to gag you that way. He doesn’t actually mind if you’re discovered.

He likes dirty talk and degradation. He will absolutely call you all kinds of filthy names. It’s not all like that, though, he’ll also throw in some praise. Especially when you’re whimpering beneath him and he's losing control because he feels so good. That's when he starts telling you how good you are.

Belphie is kind of an after care guy by default. After he's had his way with you, even if he was really rough (which he probably was), he just wants to snuggle and cuddle and sleep. He'll also kiss you slowly and softly and lazily because he likes the way your lips feel.

side characters as doms | bros as subs | side characters as subs masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[daistea]

this is kind of different from your normal asks, but i wanted to ask you this!

you’re a very amazing writer and i was wondering if there are ways that you’ve improved your writing over time? i want to get better and i thought i’d ask you since you’re one of my favorite writers and i love your style! 💚

!!! Thank you my friend!!! You’re too sweet, I really appreciate it 💖

I think you’re a good writer already! Not to be cliche, but keep practicing! There’s a reason why that advice is said so often lol

For me, the way my brain works is by learning what not to do. KrimsonRogue’s book reviews on youtube are spectacular (and funny). He’s taught me a lot about what makes a good story and character.

As for the technical aspect of writing, develop a love for and understanding of words! When using verbs and adjectives, put thought behind their meanings and implications. I once saw a guy write:

“He tripped on the stairs and impaled his leg, then got back up and kept running.”

First of all, they’re stairs. Assuming he hit the middle part, he didn’t impale his leg. Being impaled is a specific kind of injury that doesn’t describe what happened there. Maybe he hit the corner of the stair and it dug into his skin? If so, that detail should be mentioned, but I still wouldn’t consider impale to be appropriate. Also… him getting right up and running again is just silly. Let’s be real here.

Try to avoid using things like ‘angrily said’ or ‘sadly said’. Nope nope. Instead, try to use ‘grumbled, hissed, etc.’ and ‘murmured, lamented, pleaded’

There are exceptions to that rule, I think. ‘Softly said’ is common and describes the emotion just fine. You can also use ‘he said, his voice terse’ just don’t rely on that too much. It’s okay to use ‘said’! But again, dont rely on it. This also plays into the rule of not using too many adjectives. You don’t need to describe the color of her eyes and her delicate features all at once.

On that subject, instead of flat out telling us what she’s wearing or what she looks like, use actions to tell us!

Instead of “she wore long, jangly earrings”

Try “her earrings brushed against her jawline as she bent over.” Or “she shook her head, making her earrings jingle.”

This goes for everything! Show, not tell. Sometimes it’s necessary to just tell, I think. But as you focus on this subject more, you’ll learn when to break the rules lol

Ok so, each paragraph has a structure! Here’s one of my fav thoughts on that subject ⬇️

That has helped me so much!! It’ll get easier the more you pay attention to this, to the point where it becomes second nature. And editing afterwards also helps.

On the subject of editing, try to not edit as you write, resist that urge

For a while, I just collected metaphors and similes I liked. Creating them on my own became easier, though. You can play with already existing metaphors ofc. But think of the emotion you want to convey and how you’d experience it. When you’re stressed, do you connect with the idea that the world is on your shoulders? When you’re mad, how does that manifest? Like a fire in your gut, or like a slow spreading poison injected into your veins? How would it go for your character’s personality? I like to add physical reactions on top of that, another way you can show not tell.

I recommend looking into passive vs active voice! That’s something I still struggle with tbh. But writing actively makes your story clearer.

Try not to use auxiliary verbs too often! Instead of “she could see him gasp.” Try: “she saw him gasp” or even better: “he gasped”

I can’t think of anything else at the moment.. 🤔 I’m here if you have anymore questions or want info on a specific thing!

[charlieslowartsies]

Hey, so I'm not sure if someone has asked you yet, but I'm fascinated by how you use the Cybertronian language in your transformers fics. How does it work exactly?

This got long, and I’m sorry as always. Thank Primus for read mores.

For starters when I FIRST began working on Resonance and realized I wanted to try putting Cybertronian into it, I read the wiki page, more specifically the opening paragraph:

It should be little surprise, given a moment's thought, that distinct Cybertronian languages exist. The Transformers did not go about speaking English or any other known Earth language long ages ago on their distant metal world. Though the records of such conversations are frequently translated for us, we should not forget that these conversations originally flowed in odd electronic syllables past strange metallic lips, or were etched by alien hands long eons before the first humans painted muddy shapes upon dark cave stone.

‘Fuck.’ Was my first thought. ‘I’m about to try and work an ancient language into this damn fic about a human and an alien robot boning/becoming soul mates…and I want it to be believable.’

‘College linguistics comes back to haunt me.’ Was my second.

So I’ve mashed several continuities together, from the comics to the tv show to the Bay/Knight movies. That sort of gave me a big door way to wedge information through, winding it around plot, and Cade and Prime’s interactions. There’s also more than one alphabet, because of course there is.

I wanted Cade and the Reader to bond as much as Cade and Prime did learning, and Prime teaching him/us. While Cade’s spent a handful of years with the 2.0 team, any lessons would be sort of like Cybertronian 101, rough and dirty. I didn’t want him fluent, (because how?) and reliant on the bots to explain more than they assumed. (Taken shamelessly from my own background. My mom and Uncle speak fluent Spanish but I know broken bits and pieces. I can swear like a sailor though.)

I also leaned into sticking to verbal lessons and displays of the language in action, instead of ‘Cade read a book’ which I think helped make it more…interesting? Hopefully!

Things, phrases, and manners of speaking Cade would be interested in just to help him survive among the bots. The word for ‘I’m a medic, don’t shoot my ass, I can help you!’ is kinda more important than names for Cybertron’s dead Primes or famous landscapes/battles.

Cade can speak Cybertronian better than he can read it, and indeed in Resonance the language is dying among its own kind, sort of like in Atlantis: The Lost Empire. (Not as degraded/gone though.) A younger mech that hatched off Cybertron and grew up amongst the stars only knows what they’ve heard/read or if an older mech transferred the language to them.

I decided to lean into Transformer’s physiology and history and create a few rules to stick to. Here’s a few from my notes, subject to have changed but I don’t think I contradicted them??

1. Transformers do not have a word or specific phrase for ‘please’ in Cybertronian. Instead of ‘Please do/give/take/etc X’ it would simply be removed from the vernacular. You don’t really ask a lot, you demand/take/coerce/threaten.

2. Yes is ‘Affirmative’ and no is ‘Negative’ and used more frequently than yes/no in reply to someone.

4. Short, stilted, and cutting phrases should make up the language when being translated into English. Blunt, but inseparable.

5. Delicate, kind, or sweet terms when being soft or gentle with a treasured person, such as an offspring, friend or mate. Long, lyrical, almost poetic??

6. Repetition to increase intention. “This is very good!” becomes “Good-good-good!” and perhaps engines might be made to purr a little to indicate pleasure/enjoyment/contentment, or optics would be squeezed shut for trust blinks like cats lol!

7. Nonverbal vocalizations slip in and out around Cybertronian as much as English. Static might come across grating to us, but static to a Transformer could mean confusion, alarm, or merely mumbling to oneself. It might not indicate stress—humans hear static and would be troubled, but a mech might be confused if a human heard their staticy sounds and assumed something was wrong. (Reversal, soft and wet sounds are jarring and foreign to Transformers, or usually mean something malfunctioning to them. Whistling from our lips is a great trick, they would think.) Steam whistles, and metal whistles but organic creatures making the noise? Woah!

8. There ARE other dialects but not gunna parse into them deeply or I’ll go nuts and the fic will derail. EX: Vosian (Vos) Vilocitronian (Vilocitron), Kaonic (Kaon) etc. Combatron is a colony thank god,can get away with it dominantly Cybertronian if I need it.

9. Look into Dragon Langauge/Thu’um and study.

10. Cade and Prime are ‘You-and-I’ when talking to one another, their special designation for each other. ‘They-Who-Are-One’ means the same but used by third parties. Prime also uses ‘Light-of-my-Spark’ or Sparklight, and ‘Cade-Beloved’  

Those are old notes, dating back from Res’ early chapters in 2019.

Part of what helped me picture how I wanted the language to work was translating bot’s names into what I imagined their ‘true’ designations would be. It became kind of fun, actually. Especially seeing how short names could turn into long, almost lyrical titles. I wanted Cybertronian to sound harsh, heavy, and grating to humans in the fic, but also at its heart be flowing, connected and ever changing like the bot’s themselves.

Some were self explanatory to their ‘English’ version, some more esoteric. Starscream became ‘Screams-Like-Dying-Starlight.’ Terrifying but it paints a picture of what he does, what kind of fight he will give you, etc. As did ‘In-His-Crosshairs’ or ‘Drifts-Through-Darkest-Skies.’ Saying that 'Crosshairs and 'Drift' were what they were called on English seemed like a good way to show that we, as humans, are the aliens to them as much as they're alien to us?

Optimus Prime had other titles that both worked as nicknames or insults, depending on who said it their inflection. ‘He-Who-Reigns-War’ was meant to be heartbreaking as it was, well, kinda true. He doesn’t like it, Cade doesn’t like it. Many Autobots won’t use it.

Because I don’t study linguistics/zero time to study as much as I’d like, I have to absolutely work on rules and tweak them on the fly. I try to stick their speech being present, more than temporary.

‘Did you get hurt?’ would become ‘Hurting?’ and ‘I don’t like this at all, this is scary!’ becomes ‘Do-Not-Like! Scared!’

I wanted the Cybertronian dialect in Resonance to be emotive and rich in gestures, and firm statements. Abstract but ‘in the moment’ and very much still reliant on body language and tone versus tons of explanations or verbal hypothetical’s. There are noises and sounds humans cannot pronounce in this language, but there are work arounds within reason and, of course, a Cybertronian listening a human speak any Earth language can engage almost within minutes through learning and copying.  

I hope this answered your question DX Sorry for the rambling!! If you read this far 200 cookies for youuuu

[neoncherryblossom]

No rush, it cab be delayed Christmas gift to get in February lol

Like, ten paragraphs would be nice.

---

Idea, where instead of the birthday party being Amity to break off friendship with Willow.

A jealous Hunter gets worked up over Amity having a new friend, inviting Willow to her birthday and pushes Willow, who got Amity a really nice gift.

Vanessa calms Amity, who gets angry, Alador checks over Willow.

I wanna read how you'd write Darius having a chat with Hunter about that sorta behavior and jealousy.

Darius having to help little Hunter understand how to process those bad emotions.

You can ask me for a scenario in return if you wish

EVERYONE IGNORE THE DATES AT THE TOP I'M SO SORRY.

Young Hunter AU!

---

“Why did you do that?”

Hunter balled his hands into fists, turning away from Darius’ stern glare. This wasn’t his fault. How was this his fault?

“Little Prince, I asked you a question.”

Hunter kept his head turned away from Darius, the burning in the back of his eyes becoming stronger by the second. No don’t cry, don’t cry, he wasn’t a cry baby, he wasn’t going to cry.

From the corner of his eyes he watched Darius sigh, standing back up to his full height from his crouch. “Whether you’re sorry or not, you need to apologize to Willow young man. You were not raised to shove strangers around.”

“You didn’t raise me at all,” Hunter spat out, crossing his arms. “I’m not lying to her.”

Darius didn’t say anything for a long moment, just enough time for the guilt to start building up inside of him. Great, great, Darius is going to hate him now and send him back to his uncle because he was being mean- and he was horrible and Amity was leaving him but he can’t let Darius leave him too, he couldn’t-

Darius took a step back and Hunter lunged, grabbing the back of Darius’ shirt.

Darius was going to leave just like Uncle because he was bad, but he wasn’t sorry but he didn’t mean to be bad please-

“Little Prince,” two strong hands clamped onto his shoulders as Darius’ face trembled, tears already slipping down his face and chin and ruining the shirt Darius got him-sorry, sorry, sorry. “Hunter. Hunter, look at me.”

Hunter sniffled, snot dripping as he looked up at Darius and felt the smooth fabric of the man’s glove gently brush his tears away.

“…What’s the real reason you shoved Willow Little Prince?” Darius whispered as Hunter nuzzled deeper into his hand, closing his eyes. “And why would you yell at Amity? Aren’t you friends?”

Hunter bit his lip, shaking his head slowly.

“You’re not friends?”

Hunter whined, the sound wobbly as a fresh set of tears trinkled down his face before nodding.

“Really?”

Another nod.

Darius said nothing for a moment, pulling Hunter into his chest. And Hunter rested on the crook of Darius’ neck, worming his way to be under Darius’ chin. One of Darius’ hands scooped him up as Darius eased back onto the ground, a swirl of abomination flowing to form a carpet under them.

‘You never know when it’s last been clean.’ Is what Darius would say to make him feel better.

Darius doesn’t say that this time.

(That either means it’s a very serious talk, or Darius is going to give him back to Uncle for being a bad boy.)

“Did you two… have a fight?”

Hunter slowly shook his head.

“Then… why aren’t you friends anymore?”

Hunter pushed himself closer into Darius, and Darius covered his back with his cape and dropped his head onto Hunter’s. Whenever Darius did this it felt like it was just the two of them, and nothing could ever hurt Hunter again.

“Because she’s friends with Willow now,” he whispered as Darius’s hand moved up and down and up and down on his back. “Because Willow is her best friend now.”

“…Little Prince, that’s not- you do know you can have more than one friend right?”

“No!” Hunter shook his head because Darius just wasn’t getting it- “Willow is her best friend now, not me!”

“I…don’t follow.”

“The rule is you can only have one best friend and Willow said she and Amity were best friends and Amity gave her a best friend bracelet and she never gave me one and-and best means one so don’t say we can have more than one best friend because you can’t-can’t-can’t­-!”

Hunter cut himself off as Darius’ hand made it’s way to the top of his head, shushing him quietly. “Hunter, no, no, you’re still her best friend.”

“Not. Best is only one, you can only have one best friend.”

“Hunter, I-” Darius sighed, moving his hand to rub his back. “Okay, you’re right. But you shouldn’t have shoved Willow. How was that her fault?”

…Well. That’s true.

“Sorry.”

“Not to me Little Prince.”

“I know.”

Darius hummed, tapping Hunter’s back. “And maybe, and hear me out, Amity wants to be both of your best friends.”

Hunter growled, a sound Eber would be proud of. “Best-!”

“Means one, yes Hunter, but what if she doesn’t want to hurt Willow’s feelings? What if she doesn’t want to hurt yours? What if she just wants to have fun with both of you?”

Hunter huffed, pulling away to look up at Darius. “…More than one friend?”

“Yeah! I mean, you need more friends your age that’s not just Amity anyway and you worked hard picking out a gift for Willow.”

He scrunched his face, sticking his tongue out. “Don’t need more friends.”

“Oh? Why not?”

He blinked at Darius, tilting his head. “You only have one friend.”

Hunter didn’t expect Darius’ mouth to drop, stuttering as he put Hunter in his lap. “W-what? No? I have more than one friend!”

Hunter just slowly blinked at Darius, watching the man’s face darken.

“Just-just, never mind!” he sighed, patting the top of Hunter’s head, mussing his hair up. “Will you please apologize now?”

Well, he would now, because he felt pretty guilty. But it was also nice being away from the party, sitting in Darius’ lap and wrapped in his cape.

So Hunter scooched closer and wrapped his arms around Darius’ chest, muttering how he would do it later.

“Five minutes?”

“Ten.”

“Why ten?”

“I have ten fingers.”

Darius heavily exhaled some air, tickling the top of his head and making him giggle. “Fine Little Prince,” Darius wrapped his cape even tighter around Hunter, making what Eda once called a ‘Hunter burrito’. “Ten more minutes.”

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hello cat!

Just read your 3k series and wanted to give you a bit of feedback.

End of part two feels a bit hasty, besides the typo in the second to last paragraph (pretty sure you meant villain not hero there). There's a few typos but who cares, this one was just a bit confusing and stopped my reading flow. BUT.

Part four is GREAT OMG the feelzzzz

And don't get me started on the ending it's truly villainous~ and just over the top honestly. I love it. Hard, hurting, realistic. Wanted to let you know you did a great job on the series :)

Personal opinion: I feel like you could have made this a lot longer. There's only a glimpse of the feelings you're trying to express, they came out but they'd really sink in if you'd dwell on it a bit more, write about the stuff a bit more. Although I think that's mb just not your style since you put more weight on dialogue. Like I said it's just a thought it's still great you don't have to change anything in your style.

Something else entirely... I've read some german mostly in your tags sometimes. So I wonder where you're from if you want to tell. Don't have to ofc.

Greetings!

Uhm…okay?

So, when I put my work out here, I obviously have to expect criticism. That’s kinda unavoidable. People will have an opinion about me and my writing.

However, I don’t really know what your intention is. For example, I don’t see the “typo in the second to last paragraph.”

I wrote:

The hero stared at them, eyes narrowed. As if all of this was a trick. But then eventually, they spoke. Followed by a line spoken by the villain.

The hero stared at them. So, they spoke eventually. I get that using nb/nb for both characters is confusing but most of the heroxvillain community is structured like that and nearly all my writing is too. Which makes it weird to me to see this as a mistake on my part…? Like, you could use any line I’ve written on here and tell me I actually meant hero or villain because they both use they/them pronouns.

Also, I didn’t really catch any big typos/mistakes in that snippet. I used a lot of short sentences in this especially because the hero is extremely tired in these scenes and thinking in long ass sentences is just not really possible in such a state of mind (at least not for me lol). So, I guess this could be a reason for why you were confused/not satisfied with the writing flow? It’s structured like all my other snippets and it’s my usual writing style, so that confused me about your ask, too. Of course, I make mistakes as well and I make typos but again…you could say that about every snippet I write, so I wonder why you chose this one specifically?

Additionally, I don’t really see which parts of my snippets are giving “only a glimpse of the feelings [I am] trying to express.” I don’t think my readers are dumb. I think my readers get what I mean when I write “It fried their brain, making it impossible to even think straight. Old panic resurfaced but they put on a tired smirk.”

I think my readers get that old panic means that this character is familiar with panic, whereas putting on a tired smirk is a reaction to it. Which is (as we see throughout the whole story) a thing the hero does a lot. Hiding their pain and distracting themselves with flirting. Readers aren’t dumb. I don’t have to go into every little detail about every tiny thing the characters experience. In fact, part of being a reader is, that you get to imagine these things for yourself. As the writer, I give you a tiny bit of information and as the reader, you get to interpret and shape that however you want.

My readers get what I am trying to express with my characters’ actions and their dialogues. The villain asking the hero if they think they’re a good person has meaning behind it and normally, as a reader, you get stuff like that. I don’t have to describe in a paragraph that the villain doubts themselves and is beginning to value the hero’s opinion on them, no, I let them ask if they think they’re a bad person.

Of course, this series could have been longer. Could’ve been deeper. It could’ve been a whole book. But I am not here to write books for you for free. I am not here to write thousands of words because one anonymous user thinks a blog which posts snippets, should write more and more and more.

So, I believe this is more opinion than actual criticism. I guess? Because, like I said, there’s a reason for the way this snippet is written and if you want to “criticise” me for typos, you’d have to criticise every post I have ever made.

And another thing is, this message is coming from an anonymous user. So, I’m sorry if this offends you but I really don’t care about your opinion that much. I don’t think this message had any criticism in it which improves my writing.

Eventually, your opinion doesn’t have the same weight to me as the opinion of a certain epiclamer or a certain lilyaang or a certain creweemmaeec11 or a certain snowshowerwriting or a certain avvail or a certain thepenultimateword or a certain English teacher of mine.

This is your opinion of the series and this is mine — I don’t see any big mistakes or horrible decisions I’ve made and some anon telling me they didn’t like this or that won’t change that.

And yes, English isn’t my first language. I am German, come from Germany, live in Germany.

[yoonia]

For my adaptation of sloth, I’d wanna take inspiration from the lotus eaters from Odyesseus (as well as the casino scene from the Percy Jackson movies/series. Have you ever seen the movies or the series btw?). I think this particular myth (as well as from Percy Jackson) captures the whole essence and theme of sloth perfectly. And again, I don’t think I’ve seen anybody come up with that concept yet. At least not for the deadly sins. I’m debating though whether I wanna cast Yoongi or Jimin as sloth.

If you’re curious why I’m considering casting Jimin as sloth (instead of lust), I just think it’s another one of the sins that would suit him. I remember watching some of their stuff, and the rest of the members tend to talk about (like run bts) of how Jimin had (or has) a tendency to not be on time or arrive late to things. Plus, they’ve stated multiple times how long it takes for Jimin to get ready (or him taking long showers) lol. I also think it would give a touch of irony (to either of the boys), considering how hard-working they both are irl.

So in this story, OC is another average person who lives in the rat race and just lives to work (unfortunately). She might’ve had big dreams at some point, but gave up on them (likely because out of pure laziness and that she didn’t want to do even more work then she already did) Then at some point, OC gets fired, leaving her with almost nothing.

Instead of looking for a new job though, OC just goes “f**k it. I’m taking a vacation”. So when she sees a suspiciously affordable but luxurious casino hotel located in an island (which is owned by Jimin/Yoongi) OC decides to go for it.

So when OC arrives at the hotel, she’s offered some cookies by a waitress that resemble lotus flowers (like in Percy Jackson). Surely enough, OC becomes addicted to them like drugs and doesn’t even think to count how many she ate. From then on, OC forgets her worries by partying in the casino, lounging around in the pool or lazy river, and spending time with Jimin/Yoongi.

But as each day goes by, OC notices at some point that she’s in an endless loophole, where she’s just repeating the same day but forgot any doubt or second thoughts because all the lotus flower cookies she’s eaten. Readers would get confused for sure and might even think that I might’ve accidentally copied and pasted the same paragraphs, but the thing is that’s exactly the whole point. It’s the same thing, day after day.

Like in Percy Jackson, OC doesn’t find out that something’s off until she interacts with someone playing a game, who’s still under the impression that they’re living in the 20th century (like the 80s) instead of the 21st century (the 2020s).

When we learn more about Jimin/Yoongi though, we learn that since they believe there’s (seemingly) no point in trying to get back to heaven, he decided to create an environment where he’ll have all the friends he could have (because loneliness). And since he also gets attached to OC and when he finds out she’s trying to leave, he does whatever it takes to keep her from leaving.

Perhaps making a Yandere Jimin/Yoongi(?) Idk I’m still debating on that because I’m not really a fan of yandere aus but still, it would work so well with this story! Or at least give them yandere elements? If I were to make them yandere though, I don’t think I’d go for the typical crazy sociopathic deranged persona. Instead, I’d make them a lot more calm and calculating who never loose their cool.

Even when OC has the opportunity to escape, she still has second thoughts about going back to her old life where she just lived to work, instead of the other way around. This gives her an epiphany however. OC realizes that what she saw in common was that in both at work and the hotel, she had the same repetitive days with no real enjoyment or meaning in her life. She’s also afraid of facing humiliation like when she lost her job and afraid she’s not good enough. Which is another thing that’s mentioned in the YouTube video I talked about. I’ve considered putting existential crisis themes too. I think for a story like this, it would work well.

Idk exactly yet but I’ve actually considered leaving the ending ambiguous. I’m still torn though because I still wanna end it on a good note and show OC and Jimin/Yoongi. I still would like to show that you can’t just only work or just only lounge around. It’s all about balance (that probably sounds campy though when written in paper lol). It’s something I’d rather show and not tell though (or rather, describe it without making it too obvious if that makes sense).

One thing I’m concerned about is how it might have too many similarities with the greed story. Since as of now, both stories start out with an OC who starts off living an average life but then falls in the rabbit hole of said sins. In the other hand though, I’m not too worried because another way I see it is that even though some of the stories I’m writing out already have parallels, the OCs commit or go about their respective sins differently (if that makes sense?). To be fair though, some of the deadly sins are pretty similar already, like greed and gluttony.

Also, somewhat unrelated, but for my adaptation, I imagine Jimin/Yoongi always speaking in a soft spoken voice, never yelling or raising his voice. When OC tries to escape his hotel though, his speaking comes across more as apathetic or emotionless, since apathy is also associated with sloth.

Also, I forgot to mention from my last messages but I’d like to give them all powers that align with their sins. I haven’t come up with powers for every single one of them yet, but I have some ideas for this story. For Jimin/Yoongi’s powers, I’ve been coming up with concepts of either of them having the ability to hypnotize people with the power of a flute they use. Basically, with this flute, Jimin/Yoongi can put anyone to sleep if they listen to its music (like a siren’s song). I first got this idea after rewatching Narnia a while back (idk if you’re familiar with the movie at all or know what scene I’m talking about)? But it can also drain a person’s will and emotions, and replace it with apathy, the more you resist that is (since apathy is another emotion aligned with the same sin).

Another twist I’d like to do is show that not only are the boys the embodiments of the seven sins, but they’re also the embodiments of the seven heavenly virtues. But because of mistakes they all made in the past, they’re banished to wander around the earth for eternity unless they decide to change.

You know, I've known a lot of fanfic writers who write fantasy stories that started their journey with books and fiction works through Percy Jackson series. I, unfortunately, was not one of them hahaha I did dive into Narnia at some point, though.

For some reason, I can see that Yoongi as Sloth can be quite a predictable to some, so appointing Jimin as Sloth would be a nice twist. He can appear really laidback, so you got a point there. It will be interesting to see a playful Sloth like Jimin. Even if your idea sounds a bit similar to your idea for Greed, I agree that the parallels would make it okay. You can make it seem different through the storytelling and the characters' trait. I love the idea of the repeated timeline/day and narrating it through replicated paragraphs. Stories that can get the readers lost and experiencing what the characters are going through are so much fun. I think it'll work with reader insert fics too since your readers can be as confused and clueless as your OC haha

I think from the idea you shared with Greed, you did insinuate about the characters having magic or special powers aligning with their sins. That would be a good premise and addition to create your fantasy stories and make things more interesting. I've read a webtoon a long time ago about a long battle between seven sins vs. seven virtues which was so good. It would be interesting if you can make the characters dealing with their inner battle where they had to struggle between the good and the bad inside them. Maybe you can make their backstories similar to fallen angels? like they were once representations of good and virtue but ended up falling into the dark side. intrigues like this one can create a wonderful drama for your story.

[apoptoses]

Just when I thought I had my Top 5 @apoptoses smut scenes SET IN STONE (a solid top 5 at least), you post the second chapter of Come Get Your Knife and turn my whole world upside down!!! Where to even BEGIN here jfccc

1. That blowjob scene at the beginning, so stupid hot and we were like 5 paragraphs in lmao insane 😭and then their conversation right after that, with Armand clinging to Daniel’s tigh and then going to the bathroom to spit out his cum without Daniel knowing. Armand would 100% swallow and then not tell Daniel it can’t actually stay in his system for long lmfao I love him sm

2. Daniel putting a hand on Armand’s exposed waist in the kitchen and Armand lowkey losing his mind over it yes GOOD

3. THE PLAY WRESTLING ON THE COUCH MY BELOVED. they totally still do this at home btw it’s just way more competitive now that Daniel actually has a shot.

4. Armand wearing Daniel’s hoodie and then trying to pass it off as an accident when Daniel noticed 🥹

5. “There were all sorts of ways Armand adored seeing him- half awake and grumbling in the evening, tipsy and hanging off his arm. Bright eyed and enthusiastic about the film they’d just seen. But Armand thought this was one of them that he loved best. Daniel loose limbed and eager to get close to him, with that hint of mischief in his eye.” GIVE HER THE PULITZER 👏 😤 And then Daniel blowing smoke into Armand’s mouth!! 🥵 still losing my mind over it.

6. the fingering bit aka the star of the fucking show. I had to pause like three times while reading it lol I didn’t want it to end and needed to drag it out for as long as possible 🥹 idk if we’ve talked about this before but like... Daniel fingering Armand is one of those things I consider 100% canon lmao. I mean it makes perfect sense ("every inch of his body" etc) and of course Daniel felt curious enough to try it and of course Armand let him. so if a fic includes a fingering bit I have to read it lmao regardless of the circumstances/plot/setting idc I’m giving it a go. But some of the ones I’ve read have been like... unnecessarily aggressive? still hot, don’t get me wrong, but they were basically about Daniel wanting to be as rough as possible because Armand didn’t feel much anyway/could take it and Daniel got off on it. just aggressive in ways I don’t think it ever was between them during their most intimate moments. Daniel is a passionate lover yes but he’s a gentle king first and foremost, and he cares so much about Armand’s pleasure, and you captured that so perfectly. Armand coating Daniel’s fingers with his blood please  🥵 🥵  

I’ll stop now before I get carried away but know that I’m still very much obsessed!!! xoxo DA

DA I've missed you!!

Lord I have so many obscene thoughts on Armand and Daniel's come haha Like absolutely he would swallow despite what the vampire body can or cannot consume. Absolutely he would let Daniel come inside him and walk home to his hiding place and go to sleep with that in him, because that part of his body is useless now! It's just a receptacle for Daniel's messes and he's a little freak who would want to keep part of Daniel inside him in more ways than one (which I discuss in an upcoming wip)

haha I forgot I had that in there but that's a domestic thing I think about all the time with them. Like, little touches that make them both insane but especially when Armand is the receiver of those touches. It's intimacy he's never had before!

YES like even if Daniel doesn't 100% equal him in strength after he's turned Armand would be so overwhelmed and caught off guard that Daniel would win just by sheer virtue of getting him worked up over having his wrists pinned (I might also have this in a wip oops)

Daniel, deep down, knows it was no accident 🥹

🥹🥹🥹 listen Armand loves when Daniel is being a little shit, he's beseeching and demanding and that's why he liked him in the first place! He's found the man who is the same flavor of randy pain in the ass as him 🥹

HELLO I love a gentle overwhelming fingering for Armand and I think it was you who gave me the idea of Daniel teaching Armand dirty talk? So like I wrote that and you'll be happy to know that specific act occurs in there too. But YEAH I think Armand can feel a lot if he lets himself and gentleness gets him out of his mind better than roughness, so just Daniel's long fingers are perfect for him because like- that's ALL about him, you know? Being fucked is mutual pleasure, getting touched with hands/someone's mouth is more hedonistic, and he deserves hedonism ♥

Hey, because I love you, here's a fingering preview treat for you (this will go up for kink week for impact play day)

“What would you call this part of you?” Daniel asks.

He’s tracing over his entrance again with a slick finger, maddening slow circles. He presses firmly like he might slip his finger inside and then pulls it away and starts the whole process over again.

Armand’s brain feels like the eggs he makes Daniel for breakfast, a sloppy mess that’s liable to run out his ears and stain the blanket with the way Daniel has taken him apart. He’s so thirsty his veins seem to have constricted with their demand for blood. Everything in him feels drawn too tight.

“I only know the clinical term,” Armand finally manages to admit.

Daniel’s finger slips inside him in one slick motion. It’s humiliating how Armand’s body doesn’t even resist it. Even the most dead, useless parts of him are desperate for sensation.

Or maybe just desperate for Daniel. Armand has the delirious thought that if this part of him has no purpose then Daniel could stay inside him forever, could live in his body and become part of him.

“You’re tight. Sometimes I wonder if that’s because you’re so clenched up all the time or if it’s just because you’re dead, and I’m the only person who uses this part of you,” Daniel says absently, like he’s saying these things to himself. As if Armand isn’t even in the room, he’s just a toy to be played with and not acknowledged. “I’d ask if you like having something in your hole but then the way you keep lifting your hips up like a slut answers that question for me, doesn’t it?”

“Daniel-“

The word comes out in a ragged rush of breath. Armand’s been called names before. Words meant to humiliate, to shame. But coming from Daniel it’s different. It sounds loving, like Daniel has stared down into his soul and seen him for the needy thing he is and adores him for it. Daniel, whose hand keeps stroking his lower back as his finger sinks in deeper, deeper. Armand feels the bumps of his knuckles, the stretch as his finger grows wider closer to his palm. And then it’s all the way in, rubbing at his insides while he struggles for air.

Daniel is always good at this. He’s always got this gentle way with his hands, a light touch that leaves Armand aching for more. Immortal flesh is sensitive- Armand has never told him that, he’s just picked it up on his own. And so he knows exactly how to rub teasing circles into his insides. How to drag his finger in and out so slow Armand thinks he’s about to sob with it. It’s only his index finger and that’s all it takes to have him come undone.

His finger presses all the way in, curls at just the right angle to make Armand make a choked off sound; something halfway between a moan and repeating Daniel’s name. Armand lifts his hips. Shameless, he spreads his thighs and arches his back in his silent demand for more.

“Hm? Is there something you need?” Daniel asks. 

xoxo ♥

[foolish-took]

Okay Loki thoughts on the season two finale specifically because I watched the season too spread out to remember enough details from the other episodes. And I need to get these thoughts out!!!

So my thoughts kind of go into two “categories” as we’ll call ‘em. The first is more about the actual plot and stuff of the episode, and the second is the cinematography (idk another word for it) aka just how the show was shot and like vague analysis from someone who doesn’t know all that much about this subject lol. But anyway, this season finale was absolutely fantastic. Having waited like a literal month or so to watch it I did get spoiled for the ending, BUT it was vague enough that I really had no idea what would happen or what it meant, so I wasn’t really sucked out of the viewing experience and was just as excited. Also as I’m writing this I’m just now realizing they started and ended this show with an episode titled “Glorious Purpose” holy shit. Mm. The way this show has depicted Loki’s character arc from someone who was certain he was destined for greatness that he had to force others to let him have to then becoming someone who really just wanted a simple office life surrounded by his friends, but ultimately chose to sacrifice his greatest want just for the overall greater good of everybody??? Ugh??? Anyway back to the episode itself. So, the section when Loki keeps time slipping back and back and back to try and get everything to work perfectly, the mounting desperation in his actions just becomes more and more apparent. I mean, he was pretty desperate when he started, but you have to be REALLY really desperate to spend 100 years learning complicated ass science and math. And then there’s also the fact that before the century of learning (which btw where did he even go???), he had to experience failure over and over again, countless times that we definitely didn’t see. And i know he’s experienced failure before but this is definitely different right? This isn’t failure for a purely selfish goal, this is failure of a goal to save everyone that also happens to be a bit selfish. AND Timely does over and over which cannot be nice to see/hear.

And then ya know as the episode goes on the desperate acts just continue as he goes to try to stop Sylvia from killing He Who Remains, and may I just say this scene was pretty fucking interesting actually?? Like not just the fact that Loki apparently learns to pause time but just the conversation that they have, the way that Loki here’s all these points of views, all these different things of people saying what should be done, what exactly is the bigger picture all that. And then he makes a conclusion of his own. He takes He Who Remains’s points about the inevitability of it all, Sylvie’s arguments that every timeline should get to exist and have a fighting chance, and also just the fact that he wants his friends to stay alive, he’s like okay well. If this is what’s wrong, and this is what I need to have done for everybody to be safe, then I need to do something that benefits everybody even if it means I don’t necessarily benefit. Which then leads me to his talk with Season 1 Mobius. And the fact that he literally becomes this essentially all powerful god that sits on a throne and literally is the fucking tree of life from Norse mythology. Don’t even look at me I need a minute.

And don’t even get me fucking started on Mobius in this episode oh my god. He’s getting his own paragraph. Like dude!!! My man was the only one to say something every time Loki would go back to rush the whole fixing the time loop scenario, and then when Loki is faced with this ultimatum of killing Sylvie or letting HWR dies and leading to the destruction of the TVA, what does he do? He fucking goes and talks to Mobius oh my god??? He asks Mobius for advice, and he completely takes that shit to heart. I actually have way more thoughts on this specific scene but that’ll be for another time this is already suuuper long. But anyway yeah like Mobius was just fucking wonderful this episode. Skipping to the end because honestly that’s where the heartbreak is, I a hundred percent agree with others about Mobius getting on the timeline so Loki can see him. He was so adamant about not seeing what his life could’ve been like I don’t think just because the branches were saved he would’ve been like “ya know what maybe I do wanna see it!” Like no I’m sorry. And also i dunno if this is necessarily how it works but he went to a timeline that already HAD a Mobius. So that wasn’t even his timeline. Or maybe it was I’m honestly not sure but ANYWAY. The way the rest of that scene plays out where there’s just so much space beside him, the close up of his face against this bright blue background like it MEANS something I know it does. It’s giving foreshadowing ya know? I might just be blowing smoke though. I just think it’s interesting that THIS is what Mobius decides to do. “Let time pass”, in a timeline where one of him already exists. There’s gotta be more to it right? Is he gonna try to get to Loki somehow? Is he just gonna hop around but stay where he knows Loki will be able to easily see him? God I hope so.

I think we’ll end it there if any of this made any sense then congrats and also I’m sorry 😭. If I post further thoughts I promise to make them more coherent and less rambly.

[lemony-snickers]

I don’t think anyone here believes you to be pathetic. I certainly don’t leaving anon hate is pathetic. I imagine it was more of what you said that no one wanted to continue to perpetuate that hate and start a fight. I on the other hand will, I just didn’t see these until right now.

wherever that anon is now I find it absolutely disgusting to leave a comment like this on the page of someone you consider yourself to be a ‘fan’ of. You never know what people are going through and struggle with so really who the fuck are you to come in with your unfounded opinions?

I don’t know any creator that doesn’t struggle with their work and or self image in relation to that work—some are just better at hiding it than others. what do you mean promotion? Sharing here or on ao3 is promotion, and yes it clearly is a problem other writers are facing in which a work will receive 40likes and 2reblogs. Or 500 hits and 10comments. People don’t want to engage when they can read it and leave it, tiktok only reenforces that, so I don’t understand why you mention that here. How about you share some of the works your a “fan” of instead?? You’ve read the comments but have you left one? On lemony work or others?

That anon must not be a creator, as they clearly do not know how difficult it is to first find the time and drive to write and second find the courage to share those works.

Lemony do not listen to them no one who is a true fan here thinks this of you 💙

let me be clear about a few things:

no bashing or negativity aimed at an anon is ever necessary to still show support for a person who receives a less than ideal ask;

when i rb a "tell me honestly" ask game, i do not expect every response to be positive;

however, i also only rb those things when i know i am in an emotional space to take potential criticism.

so i was pretty fucking blindsided when i woke up on tuesday morning and the very first thing i saw was a long, fairly aggressively worded diatribe about how i am a "nagging girlfriend" fishing for attention in response to an ask game i had reblogged a whole week prior.

TW: talk of animal death in next paragraph.

and not that it's actually anyone's business, but it was particularly awful given that i spent monday night cradling my cat in my arms as he was euthanized after developing sudden & unexpected heart failure. so i wasn't in the headspace to deal with criticism at all. i could barely fucking get out of bed & was actually considering offering commissioned fics out of desperation to go toward the huge vet bill i had to suddenly pay out of pocket.

and then, to receive another anon ask insinuating that i sent the fucking thing to myself to garner... what? attention and sympathy? (lol if i wanted to do that i would've just talked about my dead cat, thanks!) really fucking cut deep. especially when not a soul voiced any support - publicly or privately - that that is not a thing i would do. because, true or not, the way my super cool nagging girlfriend brain works is to take that as confirmation that people agree:

(see anon # 1, i don't throw all of my insecure complaints onto this blog and here, anon # 2, a preview of what a mean ask i sent myself might actually sound like.)

i spent the whole of tuesday crying - at my desk, on the bus home from work, during my therapy session that afternoon, and long, long after. and maybe it's stupid to feel so attacked by meaningless shit on tumblr or lonely because of the lack of response in its wake, but goddamn, y'all. there are nicer ways to air your grievances with me than to be insulting. and if you think i'm the kind of person who would send a lengthy hurtful message to myself for fucking likes or kind asks or whatever (lol joke's on you, i guess), honestly, why are you even here?

tbh, i don't know why i'm here at this point. maybe another hibernation is overdue or maybe i should've stayed gone, idk. what i do know is i didn't login all day yesterday and it felt pretty great. because it just fucking hurt to watch countless folks like and rb all the fanart from my queue that day with nary a, "hey lem, saw those asks, hope you're doing all right" in the same span of time.

(i will acknowledge that one mutual sent a totally unrelated ask re: an opinion on food & drink to change topics which i answered privately because by that point in the day i was so fucking depressed the thought of trying to be fun & lighthearted made me physically ill & i was of the resolute opinion that not a single person would give a shit what i had to say about it anyway.)

i'm sorry to vent on your ask, anon. i probably shouldn't post this but who even cares at this point, lol. people will think what they will of me and i'm too exhausted to attempt a curation of something better or more well-adjusted or self-assured.

i hope you're having a good week, blue heart anon. for better or worse, i hope the anons who made me cry on tuesday are, too. but i'm down in The Pit now (which is what my therapist and i call my deep dark depression spirals) and idk when i'll claw my way back out.

hopefully soon. take care of yourselves in the meantime, yeah? <3

[semperama]

10 and 18 🙏🙏🙏

Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

To me, if I said a piece of writing "haunted" me, it would just mean that I cannot stop thinking about it/am obsessed with it to an unreasonable or unsettling degree, and yeah, that happens to me with other people's writing all the time!! Both with published fiction and also with fanfic. It's so basic of me, but I definitely felt that way after reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt, and also My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante. And probably others too, but those are the two books that first come to mind when it comes to things that consumed my every waking thought for days after I read them.

For my own writing, hmm. I feel like when I'm haunted by my own writing, it's only during the writing process, and it has a more negative connotation. I often get this feeling where I'm obsessed with the world and the idea of what I'm writing, but when I'm in that phase, I'm usually failing at actually putting words on the page, probably BECAUSE I'm overthinking. I'll lay awake at night drowning myself in little scenarious, but never actually write them down, or when I try to write them down, they don't live up to my imagination. That's a bad place to be!! As fun as it is to be consumed by something like that, I definitely don't do my best work when it's happening.

Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Oh dear!! I'm so bad at these commentary things, mostly because, as I hinted at above, I think I do my best writing when I'm not thinking too hard about it, so it's often hard for me to go back and talk about how I came up with things or my thought process behind it, because...ideally I wasn't having too many thoughts! But I guess I'll attempt to talk about the opening paragraphs of A Praise Chorus:

Max gives him a birthday card. The envelope is blue, and Daniel thumbs it open carefully to find a picture of two cats in party hats and a hand-scrawled message inside about how he’s over the hill. He laughs and pulls Max into a hug, his mind racing a mile a minute about how—It’s weird, right? It’s so weird. The only people who send him cards anymore are his parents. No one else here got him anything. A lot of them have probably already forgotten it’s his birthday, too focused on their own plans for the weekend, getting laid or getting high.

“Thanks, man,” he says, squeezing Max’s shoulder as they break apart. He can’t look him in the eye. Something itches between his shoulder blades, where Max’s palm rested for maybe a second too long. “Let’s get a drink, huh?”

“I got it,” Max says. Daniel scoffs and waves him off, but later he catches Max slipping a credit card into the hand of a passing waiter. He’s a fucking kid, not even 20 for a couple more months, not even through his second year of F1, and Daniel can afford to buy his own bottles. But Max catches his eye and gives a thumbs up, two bright spots of red high on his cheeks that Daniel would think were sunburn if he didn’t know better.

So, I've recently talked about how the idea of the birthday card saved this fic, because I was totally lost about how to begin it when I first started writing. I originally was trying to open the fic with Max doing the shoey, but I think the reason it wasn't working is because that wouldn't freak Daniel out enough. Which is a weird thing to say about a guy drinking champagne from a shoe, but ultimately I think that's the kind of thing a guy can shrug off as just guys being dudes, you know? Whereas showing up to a San Tropez birthday party with a card of all things is just uncanny enough to send Daniel into a crisis, lol.

I think the part where Max insists on paying for the drinks really drives it home, because again, it'd be totally normal for your buddy-pal to insist on buying you drinks on your birthday, but since Daniel is already off-kilter, it takes on a different kind of meaning for him. I think it sets the tone for the rest of the fic, where Daniel starts to question what's normal and what's not and what it is he's actually feeling. The road to untangling his denial had to start with something he couldn't deny--the birthday card and how it made him feel--and then suddenly it became harder for him to cope with even normal friend stuff.

I hope all that rambling made sense, ahaha. Like I said, I'm bad at this!!

[kayoi1234]

*still vibrating*

there's people who meta-vote, aka what happened in t1: it's when instead of voting according to forgiveness and personal opinion, you vote according to: - probable outcomes of verdicts - the public opinion going around and how much it is agreed on - what you think will happen to other characters if the current prisoner is judged forgiven/unforgiven

in t1 the reasoning was that by voting her unforgiven, it'd make her realize that shes doing bad things/the cult is wrong or something with "tough love", well guess what!! that only reaffirmed her more!!! because though love is exactly what the cult used on her!!!!!

also that bit about shidou: yeah he wont get shanked Now, but people still worry about her sabotaging his stuff. in the t2 voice drama she get her hands on scissors, hides them in her long sleeves, and tries to attack es (who is by all means untouchable if the intent of the prisoner is to cause harm), and while attacking other prisoners while es is awake is (iirc) impossible, who knows what she'll do between trials when theyre asleep for (probably) months !! she got the fucking scissors from a supply closet !! who knows what else is in there!!! (i havent read minigram but iirc they talk about it there? dont take my word for it)

meta voting Also happened to shidou, who has an interesting dilemma regarding his judgement: while he still thinks he shouldn't be forgiven, he sees how much he's needed in the prison (Triage: "Shall I fulfill your request and elect to live / ... / See, indispensable, I’m indispensable") and directly asks to be forgiven Because, after loosing his family, he has a reason to live again!! (Triage: "I want to be [forgiven], I want to live!" / "That’s right, there are lives that need safeguarding / So hey, prolong my life, I’m indispensable") all of that, regardless of what he actually did, got him a forgiven judgement anyway!!

it also happened to mikoto in t1 to a lesser extent (and i hesitate calling this meta-voting): tiktok people happened to found MeMe, saw the bathroom scenes, "damn he's hot *votes forgiven*". didnt really matter cuz his t1 ration is 31,57% forgiven to 68,43% unforgiven

this post got derailed but i hope you enjoy getting paragraphs from me first thing in the morning *hits send*

One: the beauty of being Australian is that whilst it might be morning for you it is like 7:20PM here so I am at the Exact Right Time to process new information

Two: Meta voting is such a wild concept and yet it is the exact thing that happens in real life when we vote for politicians lmao art imitates life or whatever lol.

But also it’s really funny that people did it the first time round with Amane, found out it didn’t work, and yet there are still people going “well maybe it’ll work a second time?” With the same amount of confidence as the person who planted bamboo in the ground and said “It’s not going to grow everywhere!”

Anyways also Shidou is real interesting because i’m ninety percent sure this isn’t going to do wonders for his mental health lol rip Dr Malpractice maybe you shouldn’t have stolen all those organs.

(Also poor Mikoto man. Wakes up in prison told he’s killed someone yet he can’t remember shit, gets called a murderer when he explicitly remembers Not Doing That, then the ps5 in his brain tells him he’s hot but also a killer and hey there’s another guy in here but no one ever tells him about the other guy in there because no one knows whats gonna happen if they do that all because some kid with twitch chat also in their brain ran a poll on some funky music video they got out of his head and went “Well sorry dude but unforgiven I guess”.

Also maybe there are actually three mikotos which is. You know the depths of the boy surely knows no bounds.)

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

been watching markiplier, etc. as background noise, as stuff to watch when i’m not feeling good physically or mentally

and one vid i watched (“watched” as in it’s horror so i just listen to it lol)--at dead of night--has a lot of characters that are morally grey and stuff like that

and the premise is there’s this guy named jimmy (evil alter ego named hugo) who does all these horrible things but we later find out it’s bc he’s literally being possessed by the ghost of his abusive father (or the ghost of like a centuries long abuse cycle situation?)

and while the morally grey characters who were slandered and murdered by jimmy (hugo) in the past are still justified imo? bc they’re being injured and threatened by someone, they just don’t know it’s bc he’s possessed? some youtube comments were a bit funny to me (like genuinely kinda funny to read)

*game content mentions an accusation of sexual assault, murder, harm to animals, etc. and my post mentions sexual assault, medical malpractice, some outdated terms or ableist language BUT the last two paragraphs are generally free from that/highlight what’s interesting to me abt the youtube comments if u wanna skip the text

one dude (harvey) was really violent towards jimmy and threatened him with a gun (not with the intention to shoot, just to scare him out of the hotel) but that was after jimmy almost killed him by electrocution, shot a crossbow bolt through his leg, etc so like. yeah he was violent but after jimmy was violent towards him

i do not fault him for choosing violence or reacting that way. some people were weird abt him and were like “oh but he’s being violent too!” but like. yeah?? i would be if all this shit was happening plus other guest deaths due to jimmy??

but when it comes to dr. bose like. i get being wary of his character because drs can exert control over their patients. i get wanting to look more into jimmy’s accusation of sexual assault. but not only was the scrapbook of news articles mentioned about both accusations (that he was being beaten and that he was being assaulted), meaning both accusations seemed to be word-for-word what was in the newspapers,

when harvey confronted jimmy about making up that story about dr. bose beating him with a paddle to take the medicine AND THEN that he molested him, jimmy’s response was to laugh? so like. if we wanna be skeptical of harvey bc he already doesn’t like jimmy then ok but i dunno, jimmy’s response didn’t seem in line with the kind of response someone would have if they were telling the truth

BUT ALSO in regards to how drs work--

this is in a time period where force was regularly exerted on patients and he never did so in the way that we’d expect--and tbh force is still regularly exerted on patients? it never went away, it just changed in some aspects?

people still restrain patients, forcefully medicate them etc. so while i get being skeeved out by dr. bose chasing jimmy around with a syringe and (rightfully) being of the opinion that you can’t force meds on a patient (which i don’t think dr. bose did? he tried to enforce it in a strange way but might not’ve even administered it?)--

i feel like that’s when you’d be like. ok can some other character call the police. can dr. bose call other doctors in here for a second opinion LIKE my issue wouldn’t entirely be with his methods bc he never resorted to the kind of force we usually see for this time period?

like yeah i’d think chasing someone around a hotel w a syringe is bad, even if he didn’t go further w it, but ppl aren’t really mentioning that part so like? we’re not even neutral on this man for the right reason???

but i think for me, the funny comment was abt ppl going “um diazepam is a sedative, it’s not made for what dr. bose assumed was jimmy’s condition, it wasn’t the right drug, he must’ve been trying to sedate him to assault him--” and i’m like. babes.

tell me you’ve never gone to the doctor IN MODERN DAY NO LESS with symptoms and had them say smtn to the effect of huh that’s weird?? try this i guess?

like not only can drs not necessarily prescribe the correct thing all the time--

ex. a past dr who sort of listened to my issues, prescribed me a med, the med worked for some symptoms but gave me such an increase in anxiety that we had to stop--but we didn’t try anything else which was the weird part

yeah she wasn’t great in the first place BUT i wasn’t sure if i had adhd? and she was maybe treating me for depression or anxiety? and then the anxiety got worse and we just dropped it, rather than seeking out answers as to what actually was happening?? 

so like i got a med, don’t remember what we were trying to treat, it sort of worked in a way and didn’t in another, ??? like drs don’t necessarily get it right every time--

but sometimes u get prescribed stuff bc they don’t know what you need or because it might actually work for something not listed

yeah diazepam is listed as an anti-seizure med and/or an anxiety med but who knows if dr. bose thought an anxiety med would help--even if only we know as the viewers that jimmy actually has anxiety/depression and it’s ghost related/dr. bose doesn’t necessarily know or expect that. just bc it lists anti-seizure doesn’t mean he’s giving him a random med

i take clonazepam for anxiety--specifically severe agoraphobia at one point--and it’s listed as an anti-seizure med and an anxiety med. not only does it not specifically mention agoraphobia (although it solved that issue in a way my everyday anxiety med doesn’t, despite it also being an anxiety med), just bc it says it’s for seizures doesn’t mean that’s what i’m taking it for

plus like, only we know narratively that these issues are being caused by a haunting/possession. no med would be likely to work anyways but i can’t blame dr. bose for being like let’s try a sedative at the moment to see if that stops him from putting glass in ppls sandwiches and killing animals and harming other guests while we figure out the root of his issue and try and prescribe something else later

it feels like the difference between “let’s try this for the moment to see if it eases certain behaviors” (okay, open to changing meds, not a permanent decision) versus like “we gotta sedate this kid” (not okay, implies the patient is like. “lol fucked up,” not likely to be taken back and switched for something else)

PLUS, given the time period, even dr. bose with the best intentions is probably reliant on sedatives for patients. like i don’t want to imply that’s all they have without prior research but it’s like the long lists of why ppl were in asylums and it ranges from like. incorrectly diagnosed issues/outdated terms for actual problems to like. she acts inappropriately

and that still happens! my sister went to an outpatient place once and they

A. gave her meds without telling her the risks/side-effects (for example, if u miss a dose YOU CANNOT TAKE THE SAME DOSE THE NEXT DAY U HAVE TO START FROM THE LOWEST DOSE) + seemed to just? give her meds???

B. grouped literally anyone in there and did not give specialized care to anyone. it literally was like. here are people who are having very different issues that cannot benefit from this bc it’s just? not catering to anyone’s specific problems? you had someone who was forced to get an abortion, someone who had anger issues, someone like my sister who was having mental health issues due to ppl ignoring her physical health issues

like i’m not suprised that for the time period in the game, a doctor, even with the best intentions, would immediately prescribe a sedative. that doesn’t implicate dr. bose in anything else and while it’s definitely an issue with the time period, i don’t think we can blame him in particular for that + he does seem to genuinely try to help jimmy and i don’t think a lot of the

and like in no way are any of these yt comments ableist, it’s not that serious, but it is funny to me as someone who’s like yeah sometimes u trial meds, sometimes something could work although it’s not specifically for that thing, a lot of the time, without specialist intervention, u just test stuff out and hope it works or names what’s not being resolved, at worst ppl prescribe things too generally and medical services can be extremely abusive, which isn’t even necessarily showcased in the game--

like what do u mean ur surprised that got prescribed or that u assume it’s for SA reasons not like. The Med Of The Time/over-reliance on sedatives in general or bc medicine as a practice is like damn that’s weird, try this i guess

like what do u mean ur not aware this is how it is lol

[rigelmejo]

I’m going to vent for a minute. It always irks me a little when japanese lessons take so long to cover stuff like

The verb form te-iru, te-imasu, which seems to be similar to english -ing on verbs. Its how to actually say “I’m doing X verb.” However I remember when learning from Genki (and honestly a lot of japanese lesson resources), they teach verb forms like “I X verb” masu form. “I eat” taberu/tabemasu as in I eat fish (generally), not as in “I am eating fish (now/whatever time was described)” tabeteimasu (tabe+te-imasu). This creates a confusion a number of people end up having for a while... the confusion of thinking masu form (like tabemasu) means ‘verb-ing’ as in I’m doing a verb in a specific place/time, rather than I generally do verb (and may be doing it right now). Saying “I eat fish” can mean I eat fish right now, I generally eat fish, I’d prefer to eat fish (over some other option) etc. It does not specifically convey the “I’m doing X” even though that form of the verb is probably what we’ll use a lot. When watching shows, playing games, talking, I run into te-imasu form a LOT and it still surprises me it takes so long to learn. It also still surprises me that the beginner japanese class I took covered ‘te’ form in theory (since its in Genki 1) but we learned it to stack verbs (say I X then Y verb) and my teacher did not really emphasize the te-imasu form even though it’s everywhere in real life.

The form of -nde? in questions. I don’t have japanese keyboard on this computer so bear with me. I am rusty on japanese as I read it again recently but haven’t thought about the WHY of any grammar in a while. When I’m in clozemaster I see this verb situation all the time, and it seems sort of like asking a negative in english but when you mean do they want to do it positively. しませんでしたか？Shimasen-deshita. “Didn’t?” or しませんか？ Shimasenka “don’t” This is not the example I meant but in google translate this is all I can think of. Its like when you ask “Didn’t you?” and someone replies “I did.” So you expect a positive answer. (Feel free to blank all this out, this second paragraph’s topic i am SO rusty on I honestly cannot remember clearly or correctly what the n’de form means in a question, all I can remember is I see it ALL the time when I read or watch stuff in japanese and yet... again... I remember my class never even covered it, especially given how common it gets run into).

Back to things I can adequately describe ToT (thanks for bearing with me lol). I remember last year I went through Clozemaster Japanese and just did like 600 sentence cards of the top 100 most common words. That period of study was probably the most helpful thing I did japanese grammar wise, because so many of the sentences were random grammar rather than perfectly crafted textbook sentences. The Clozemaster sentences prepared me much better for reading manga, watching shows, watching lets plays, and just generally figuring out how the fuck to parse the grammar meaning of new sentences I see. I ran into SO many ‘helper’ words (words that give some kind of grammar/meaning change to a sentence) and so much grammar I’d either never seen or never seen in informal forms, it helped tremendously. I had not seen te-imasu or gotten to practice it until then. And there’s still helper words I don’t know fully, but I recognize enough from that study period that now when I see them in sentences I get the gist of how they influence the sentence’s meaning. So I guess my point is just, I am a bit frustrated with how many japanese lessons (especially in the beginning) tend to avoid teaching some very common grammar things that appear super frequently whenever you engage with native materials. I’ve been going through glossika japanese lately for listening practice and lol... wouldn’t you know, just like Genki its covering some stuff but then other stuff like te-imasu I haven’t heard once yet, even though I run into it so frequently with japanese media. 

Anyway... I’m currently looking for a new japanese grammar guide to read through. And I am seriously doubting I’m going to find any that cover some of the grammar points I’m most curious about for a while (or at all if they’re free guides and potentially stop after beginner grammar). :/ I wonder if imabi.net or Tae Kim’s Guide go over the kind of grammar I’m looking for eventually... (Because truly, I learned like 50% of the grammar I recognize now by brute force studying those 600 sentences in clozemaster and figuring out the gist of grammar meaning from the translation, but I’d love a more clear overt explanation ToT)

[mariaofdoranelle]

I wanted to let you know, that I loved Faking Yulemas and I check your profile from time to time to check that I havent missed the update and reread bits of story.

But no pressure about finishing it. I know how life can be...

Hi, Anon!! Thank you so much, this means a lot to me 🥺❤️❤️

I haven’t forgotten about Faking Yulemas at all, don’t worry! Long story short, life happened, but I’ll put below a

Life Update (and snippet):

Basically, I haven’t been writing a lot because my mental health is an eternal tightrope. You see, I wasn’t writing much around November because of my study life. Then during my break I got so excited about writing that I forgot about my sleeping schedule. Which led to me a mood episode, so I was too depressed to write a feel-good fic like Faking Yulemas, but I did write a piece that was so sad I didn’t feel like posting. I did promise I’d never post something without a HEA, but here’s a paragraph from my drafts:

Aelin wasn't the only person in the world to lose the love of her life, and some of them even did great after that, with their second-best significant ones. No one can keep every single good thing that happens in their life. Even if said good best thing is right there, standing in front of you.

So after the depressive episode I had a manic episode because that’s how life goes for bipolar people, and I was hyperfocusing on other stuff. But now my psychiatrist is re-adjusting my medication (in fact I’ll go back there tomorrow!) and I’m feeling a lot better, I even wrote a few things this week like

There were so many things she felt like doing while looking at him, but at the same time she didn’t want to change anything at all. Aelin wanted to be in this exact moment forever. With him. Wine out his nose and all.

Something dawned on her, and Aelin’s eyes widened with the realization.

“Oh my God,” she blurted, and her head slowly turned towards his.

“What?” Rowan asked, still a little hazy from his mishap.

“I think I like you.”

This ^ is for Faking Yulemas’ next and last chapter! It probably won’t see the last time you’ll see them, but I don’t want to drag their ending out after disappearing for that long lol anyway thanks again for asking and caring ❤️❤️

[byexbyez]

(continue from previous anon) like i want to see what happens with them, like is it gonna work out? and i loved seeing leon’s point of view in the second part, it’s so good i’d love to see more

i think the interesting aspect was their ambiguous relationship dynamic in the first place, so leaving pt1 as it was made sense because if they worked it out at the end, it wouldn’t have made an impact lol. i also made a stupid mistake by naming fomalhaut as part 2 because it really isn’t a pt 2. it’s just an extra scene i couldn’t pack into love me more (i should have named it outtake or something considering its word count). i always thought about not publishing it but at the end i did because i needed a selfish reason to be free spirited. i always go back and forth between criticizing my writing harshly to the point of deleting everything and just saying fuck it we ball, hit the publish button. i’m writing for my own enjoyment ffs.

i’m straying away from the topic i’m sorry. “what happens with them, is it gonna work out?” logically, it shouldn’t. that’s clear as day. it would break the magic that is their weird dynamic haha. and i don’t think people would want to see that, considering they’re reading it for the bittersweet angst. so what does all that yapping above this paragraph mean? yes, pt 3 is a wip. yes, i had it in my head since pt 2 but thought it didn’t make sense to write another “outtake.” yes, the recent engagement on here fueled me to write it. yes, i do think two people living together (leon and reader in lmm) for a long time will eventually lead to changes in the dynamic. yes, i do think a pt 3 is unnecessary. yes, i do think people will think it’s weird for them to be lovey-dovey.

but guess what. fuck it we ball. it’s gonna contain some pda and a whole lotta smut. (umm take this with a grain of salt i’m not used to writing at all, especially not smut).

[kalereviews8782]

Review: Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White

Enjoyment: 2 / Prose: 2 / Characters: 2.5 / Plot: 2.5

Pros: trans aromantic & autistic representation, communism!

Cons: godawful pacing, muddled themes, too didactic, NOT BELIEVABLE AT ALL (I could not suspend my disbelief here, sorry) (ok now I feel mean listing all of this out)

Fuck, I hate this. I hate that I’m giving Andrew Joseph White a 2 star rating again. As a trans autistic person who vehemently disliked Hell Followed With Us, but loved The Spirit Bares Its Teeth, I was looking forward to another five-star, as I thought White had improved on theming, pacing, and prose. But man, there were a few problems with this one. First, the premise here: Miles, a trans boy, is dealing with a hundred year long violent feud between his family and that of Sheriff Davies, which leads to hate-crimes, murder, political activism, coming out, and more, etc.

Prose-wise, this felt like communist theory (sometimes I’m looking for that, but not here). White dumps paragraphs upon paragraphs of socialist and communist history, facts, and terminology, and repeats the same messages and themes of leftism over and over. Rarely is the reader able to piece things together on their own; no, another paragraph describing socialist history is dropped (even right in the middle of the “action”). Painful and boring reading experience. I want to know the characters, their relationships, their thoughts and feelings, not another textbook-ripped description of a historical event. I think references to these things are good and honestly, I haven’t seen many young adult books this OPEN about communism (that’s why it’s in the pros) but the way it is handled is poor. Speaking of the theming, it also seemed implausible that there is one “bad guy” character here (the Sheriff). That’s not…how things work. There’s usually a group of rich people running the show, not just one guy who is killed and then everyone works together and it’s all good again? What? That’s not how systemic power works. You can’t kill one person and expect change. I also don’t get why you’d go after teenagers and not, like, the people who have power, but OK. Another goodreads reviewer (@mars) describes this point in more detail in their review.

Other points:

*Every character becomes a caricature. The leftist characters are so…well, Tumblr-esque? They all muddled together and didn’t feel like real humans. Same with the “evil” teenagers who, honestly, Miles only thinks for a brief second as “victims” (they’re literally 16 year olds…maybe some more nuance about how they’re children should be discussed? Again, they are pretty garbage humans, but are they really holding all the systemic power in town here? Why would they go after these children and not the Sheriff himself? Seems inefficient but..anyway…). And on this point, I as the reader sympathized with Paul, but it would have been more thematically interesting for Miles to kill him (let him be bad! Let him deal with the consequences of doing something immoral! Instead of having Cooper get all the blood on his hands).

*The Sheriff was so unbelievably evil it made me laugh

*Another point about Cooper and Miles: Miles agreed to killing the other teens with Cooper and then, ten seconds after, Cooper is suddenly a bad guy (?) It just didn’t seem believable how quickly Cooper became the bad guy.

*Saint Abernathy???? What was the point of this ghost? (Don’t answer this; I obviously get the point I just don’t think it was necessary, fun, or well-done)

*Pacing-wise, there was just so much didacticism or sitting around

*Another implausibility is how Miles’s parents don’t freak out when he TELLS THEM THAT HE KILLED SOMEONE????? HUH? They just go “well he must have deserved it” lol what

*And finally, the other implausibility that his parents/family let him go meet up with Noah to “talk” ALONE. Again: what. I hope I’m not the only one here who laughed at this part due to disbelief.

I’m…sorry, I’ll calm down. I’m gonna reread The Spirit Bares Its Teeth (it’s beautiful). I’m still forever grateful that White is out here writing and that teens have these books.