lemony-snickers

[lemony-snickers]

21 of the 22 drafts (all requests) i currently have are more than a year old. damn it, lem. as;dlkfj

[lemony-snickers]

Christmas Gift for @lemony-snickers 🥂

[lemony-snickers]

2023 was brutally heartbreaking, 2024 was somehow worse, and i expect 2025 will continue the downward suck spiral.

i miss the days of blindly buying into to the hope of a turning calendar.

this coming year, i plan to try and write the ending to all my unfinished fics (including the anonymous ones), take my pain and turn it into a (finished) novel (since that baby is already started, so like??? what you waitin' for, lem?), and delve into my spirituality a lot more because spinning through existence as a solitary being is ROUGH and i'd like to connect more with nature and the cosmos or something before my cells splinter apart.

idk why anyone would still be reading my tumblr updates, but if you are & you'd like to share any resolutions or goals you have for 2025, i'd love to hear them.

i hope you all had a better 2024 than i did. and i hope you all have a wonderful NYE, and a beautiful 2025 filled with good things and happy memories. <3

[lemony-snickers]

*deep breath* KAKASHIIIIIIIIII 🥺

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i wonder if there is a thing in the world that hurts more than having the last thread of hope finally cut away.

grief is a scavenger, circling ever overhead.

waiting for its chance to tear away another piece of my carrion heart.

[lemony-snickers]

any trans person reading this I love you

any woman reading this I love you

any poc minority reading this I love you

any queer person reading this I love you

[lemony-snickers]

someone write me a persuasion au with kakashi, i beg.

half agony, half hope.

[lemony-snickers]

half agony, half hope.

[lemony-snickers]

had my astrology chart read today. nothing new but in case you're wondering, i'm stubborn, overly verbose, and i express myself better through movement than speech. i also can read any room or situation and devise a version of myself to perfectly suit the moment so a lot of people don't really know who i am and feel like they can't trust me as a result.

that tracks.

[lemony-snickers]

If you still take submissions for the Spotify ask, then I'd love Shisui and number 8 😁

In any case, I hope you're having a great December! 💕

8. only hope - mandy moore. (lol, december. so sorry, friend.)

there's a song that's inside of my soul

shisui is falling. he knows it from the rush of wind combing through his hair - the locks always so wild, no comb could ever tame it. he half-giggles as he recalls the way his mother used to drag her fingers through it, nails roughly scraping against his scalp as she tried to make him look presentable for whatever clan event they were supposed to be attending.

"mom," he'd protested, drawing out the single syllable in a whine (something he would do for much longer than was probably appropriate, though he supposes that doesn't matter much now).

she would scoff, tug him back into place. "hold still."

he never did.

i'm awake in the infinite cold.

without meaning to, shisui's laugh turns to a sob and he thinks he's crying, though it's difficult to tell. without his eyes, with the blood already drying around the empty sockets, and the rush of air carrying the droplets up, up.

or is it that he is falling down, down, away from them?

he isn't sure. the answer doesn't matter, anyway, when the result is the same.

shisui wonders how he will know if he is dead, since he has already been plunged into such infinite darkness. he imagines death as a dark shroud, spreading over him, plunging him into the deepest pitch darkness he has ever experienced. without any sense of light, he's not sure the shroud will be obvious.

i know now, you're my only hope.

perhaps time stops when you fall fast fast enough, shisui thinks. because it seems he's been falling for much longer than possible.

he wants it to end - wants the roar of the wind to cease. his head hurts to much, the pain from his stolen eye and the one he gifted itachi radiating out, melding with the incessant pound of his eardrums from the changes in pressure as he falls.

itachi.

shisui has asked an impossible thing of him, he knows, but itachi is the only person he can trust. the only person worthy of one of his own eyes.

he only hopes itachi will fare better than he has, will arise from the press of the clan to become his own person - a proud shinobi.

a good man.

i give you my destiny.

if shisui were stronger, perhaps he would not be falling. perhaps he would have sealed the wound danzo left his face, found the strength and the will necessary to fight back, to do what must be done.

but shisui is tired. he is hurting.

he is still falling, and there is a lightheadedness, now, a tingling sesnsation racing through his chakra network to the ends of his fingers, his untamed hair.

he is smiling.

so i lay my head back down.

and then it is over, the searing rush of wind smothered by the icy vice of the river. the impact is meaningless, just a moment.

and then shisui uchiha is gone.

[lemony-snickers]

grief is a scavenger, circling ever overhead.

waiting for its chance to tear away another piece of my carrion heart.

[lemony-snickers]

there was a time when lem would write when the fics were long and the aus inviting there was a time when the words would fly and the prose was strong and the comments were exciting there was a time & then it all went wrong...

[lemony-snickers]

Kakashi x Akami 90s au ~ any au

@kakashiweek

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Happy (slightly belated) birthday, Kakashi!

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a critical development: cancel the rest of today’s appointments

[happy birthday kakashi 🎂]

[lemony-snickers]

happy birthday kaka-sensei🎉

@kakashiweek

[lemony-snickers]

wanna write this book HOWEVER, am lazy.

conundrum.