#didn’t ask for you to be here but welcome to the dysfunctional family :)

[stripedstarsblueflags]

ok but like i mean something about

something about alex standing up for logan in the subtlest of ways throughout his whole time during the season “i think you make up more places than me on a sunday” “it’s not understood because we’re not driving the same car” “if logan’s struggling with xxx tell him–“ and oscar throwing shade almost directly at jv after that disgrace and lewis calling spa a 1-2 online even after george got disqualified and max biting back at a reporter who tried to throw another “if” at lando’s miami win and charles and carlos telling the media to fuck off every time someone speculates about “tension” between them and the whole grid trying to make daniel feel remembered after his own team dropped him like a broken toy and pierre going to the stewards to try and get kevin’s race ban overturned and nico calling bs at race directions in kevin’s defense as well and lando reminding everyone after monza that oscar is his own driver and fernando singing lance’s praises even when no one is listening and max saying lando is a good friend and telling their make-up story the day after austria and the only thing he cares about is not the public opinion but his friendship with lando and lando saying max deserved to win the championship and max saying lando will win a championship and zhou having more to say in honor of valterri leaving sauber than sauber themselves and

and idk something about the grid defending and supporting each other in the face of it all

[bvckleyydiaz]

hottie hotchner - aaron hotchner

title: hottie hotchner

summary: during a conversation with your team, you let it slip that you find your boss very attractive. little did you know that said boss could hear every sordid detail.

pairing: aaron hotchner x f!reader

word count: 856

warning(s): it gets a little suggestive towards the end but nothing too explicit

a/n: i honestly didn’t think i would finish this as fast as i did. hope you guys enjoy this round’s winner of pick my next fic!

When you accepted the position for Administrative Liaison for the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, you definitely had some reservations about what the agents would be like. Most of the jobs that you’ve had were assistant jobs, and it’s safe to say that you had encountered your fair share of asshole bosses along the way. 

That being said, the agents of the BAU were nothing at all like you expected. You walk into the building on your first day, and you are greeted by a taller, slender blonde woman. She reaches her hand out with a warm smile. A smile that says she’s genuinely excited for you to be there. “You must be Y/N. I’m Agent Jennifer Jareau of the Behavioral Analysis Unit.” You shake her hand. “But you can call me JJ.”

You return her smile and let go of her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, JJ.”

“Follow me, and I’ll introduce you to the rest of our team.”

You nod, and she leads you through glass double doors and a maze of desks that she calls the bullpen. The two of you go up a small staircase to a conference room with a circular table, and six heads turn when she opens the door. Sitting around the table are a tall, lanky man with brown hair that curls just below his ears, a taller, bald man with biceps that look as big as your head, a brightly-colored blonde woman holding a remote, a dark-haired woman with an air of confidence that could tear apart your entire being before even blinking, an older man that exudes a grandfatherly energy, and… oh. You stop at the last person–a man that looks just a bit older than you with dark hair and eyes that could bring you to your knees without having to ask. 

“Guys,” JJ starts. “This is Y/N, and she is our new Administrative Liaison.” 

You hold up your hand and do a shy, awkward wave. “Hi.”

JJ points to the lanky man and goes from left to right introducing everyone to you. “This is Spencer, Derek, Penelope, Emily, Rossi, and our Unit Chief, Hotch.”

Unit Chief? That means… Christ,  you haven’t even gotten to your second day yet, and you already want to fuck your boss.

Hotch stands and holds his hand out to you much like JJ did, his smile a lot more understated than hers. “Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

His hands are warm. “Thank you, sir.”

He turns to the rest of the team. “Alright, let’s get started.”

–

It takes a little while to get used to your new job, but you soon find your footing and nestle into the spot the team–your team–has created for you. The eight of you have become like a family. A big, dysfunctional family. You trust each other with your lives and your deepest, darkest secrets.

That is the only way you can explain how you ended up in this predicament.

“Hotch?” Derek asks, his face a mix of confusion and surprise. “Really, pretty girl? Hotch?”

You narrow your eyes the tiniest bit at him. “What’s wrong with Hotch?” 

“Nothing’s wrong with Hotch, sweets,” Penelope amends. “We just… weren’t expecting him to be your answer.”

“Yeah. We thought you would go for someone a little closer to your age.” Derek points at Spencer. “Like Pretty Boy.”

You shake your head. “I have a type, and as much as I adore Spencer, he is not it.”

“And Hotch is your type?” 

You nod. “He’s a DILF. I like DILFs.”

Emily nearly spits the water she’d just taken a sip of out of her nose. “Oh, my God. Never say that again.”

“Never once in my days of working here did I ever think that I would hear Hotch and DILF in the same sentence,” JJ says. 

“Neither did I,” says a voice from behind you. Fuck my life. You turn and come face to face with none other than your boss and the aforementioned DILF. 

“Hotch,” you breathe.

He points over his shoulder at his office door. “My office.”

Hanging your head, you nod. “Yes, sir.”

The two of you head up to his office, and once the door is locked and the blinds are closed, he turns to face you. “Y/N, we talked about this,” Hotch says, sighing.

You shrug like you see no problem with the situation. “What was I supposed to say? You are a DILF, Aaron.” 

His stony facade drops and a shy smile pulls at his lips. “I just didn’t expect you to say that, especially in front of the team.”

You bring your arms up and wrap them loosely around your boyfriend’s neck. “Blame Derek. He asked.”

A laugh bubbles out of him, and he leans down to press a soft kiss to your lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you tell him. “You know, for a group of highly-skilled profilers, they still haven’t figured out we’re together yet.”

“I’m sure they will,” he tells you before moving his lips to your neck. “Especially after tonight.”

Your only response is a giggle.

[i-live-in-spite]

Summary: You get a case in your hometown, you haven’t been back for almost 10 years after you left when you were 18 to join the FBI academy. Your brother was not very happy to see your transition.

Pairing: Around season 5 Spencer Reid x Trans Male reader(He/They)

Genre: Angst w/ Comfort

Tw/Cw: Family argument/dysfunctional families, transphobia/homophobia, kinda “gory” with some details, talk of s3lf h@rm, platonic pairing but they are pinning for the other, normal violence of Criminal Minds, the Unsub targets queer people, religious talk/trauma, talk of ending one's life, use of the t slur(If I missed something please tell me)

Word Count: 2.7k

I knew that if I had just asked Hotch or Rossi to stay back or for time away from the case, they would have told me yes. After all, I’m  pretty much just a stand-in for Garcia on the ground. Just there in case she got overworked or she was busy on one search I could quickly pick up the task. But the BAU taking me on the field was still pretty rare, I know why I’m here even if all I can think about is leaving again.

I didn’t know even after 10 years of healing, the wounds could still be so fresh. The feeling of blood rushed down my arms as we passed by the stores from my childhood. Some buildings I couldn't recognize but hardly anything changed from the old small town I grew up in. 

I’m snapped from my thoughts when I feel Spencer’s hands on my shoulder, “I’m sorry could you repeat the question sir?” I snapped my eyes up to Rossi who was in the passenger seat as Derek drove.

“I was just asking if you knew of any hidden in the wall clubs who may..enjoy the same sex may go?” Rossi sounded as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing, which I could understand. I have always been open about my gender identity and how I have had male lovers, I really didn’t see why it had to be hidden. At least not to them, no the team was like family. Emily and Penelope aren’t as loud about it but they also didn’t hide it.

“Uh yea, if I remember correctly there is this, old salt cave that many would go to for..activities. Whether it’s still operational is another question, I would have to be able to get down there.” Rossi nods and I look away from Spencer’s gaze and the subtle look from Derek in the mirror.

When we got to the police station I hesitated opening the car door, a few quick memories flashing through my eyes. I take a deep breath before pushing the door open and going to the back to grab my computer bag, I feel Spencer’s hand on my shoulder, the other one gently rubbing the nape of my neck. I would typically find comfort in his light touches but my anxiety was running high, all I could do was curl up from his hands.

“I know something is wrong, is it because of the murders? Or the fact that this is a ‘special’ place to you?” I couldn’t stop a choked laugh from escaping and Spencer was quick to recover, “Maybe special didn’t quite express the right emotions. You are tied to this place, and you don’t like it. Why didn’t you ask to stay back?” His voice was soft, full of concern. 

“You don’t ask to stay back when we have cases in your hometown.” I look up, my voice having more of an edge than I would like. He sighs and grabs his bag before turning back to me, a serious expression taking over his normal goofy smile.

“Yes but I had an ok childhood. It’s one thing to be an outcast because I’m smart, you were an outcast because-” Hotch calls us over cutting Spencer off, “I’m just saying, we have different memories of childhood, you had more hate than you let on.” I never heard Spencer being tied to emotions in this way. He knew my past and I knew his, we held each other's scars close, refusing to let the past repeat. 

Spencer walks over to Hotch but I highly doubt that this conversation was over. I follow closely behind, keeping my head down. The station had the same bleach smell, my nose burned from the smell. Then the world seemed to crash when I heard his voice.

“Welcome in agents, we have a small meeting room y’all can use in the back.” The sound of my brother's voice made all my muscles freeze. Hotch shakes his hand, thanking him for the space and they start to talk a little more about the case. I go to the back and set up in a corner away from the door, this is gonna be the longest case in my life. 

As I continue my setup, I hear his whistle. “That’s some mighty fine computers you got there, but I was told y’all had a tech analyst back at Quantico.” I refused to look up from my keyboard as I continued to fidget with my settings to appear busy. 

It was Derek who finally spoke up, “Well we do, but the lovely little lady doesn’t always enjoy coming on the field and sometimes her work load is a little too much. So we bring him in and he helps on the ground.” My brother lets out a choked noise and even though he tried to whisper it was clear as day.

“That’s a boy? I mean i’ve seen my fair share of boys with long hair but that’s..damn near to the floor.” Derek sighs and expresses again I was in fact a boy, keeping out the fact I was trans. Which fills me with gratitude. “Damn well.. Okay. Nice to be working with you las.” 

His hand appeared in my face and I was slow to grab it. I felt his gaze on my freshly painted nails, it was just a simple black and white look. But I could feel the judgement of his gaze.

“Did you know that a handshake spreads more germs, it would be safer to kiss.” Spencer’s distraction makes me laugh, of course he had no idea that we were actually siblings or the fact my brother would rather live in hell than kiss another boy.

“And who are you?” I was thankful for the attention to be off of me, though I’m very much aware of the attitude that hides behind my brother's voice.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” Spencer waved a little uncomfortable. My brother looks him up and down before nodding.

“Well. Thank you for coming to look at the problem.” Spencer and Derek nod as my brother leaves and I finally let out the air in my lungs. Derek turns to me and sees the look of discomfort not fully leave my face.

“I typically try to keep the past the past, but the history between you and the sheriff?” I shift a little before looking down at the computer.

“Can't you see the family resemblance?” The boys are physically taken aback by this information. I smile awkwardly and get back to the set up of my computer. Neither of my fellow males spoke up after the statement, for once I’ve made the great Spencer Reid silent.

—-

“I need you to go to the cave, you are trusted there correct?” Hotch looks down at me as I gently play with my hands, a nervous habit I picked up from Spencer.

“I’m sure the older ones may remember me, I won't know for sure till I get down there though.” Hotch nods and scratches under his chin some.

“Would you be comfortable going alone or would you like someone to go with you?” I think for a minute, I would refuse to ask anyone from the local p.d. to join, but Emily or Spencer could be candidates. But Spencer is still getting over getting shot that him joining me is a hard no from me, even though he claims he was good to go. 

“Emily would be a good fit to join me.” Hotch nods and leaves to tell Emily about joining me. I didn’t hear the door open till my brother spoke.

“You look different now, since when did you turn into a boy?” My brother's voice was a little callous, the same tone he used when I told my family I planned on leaving.

“I have always been a boy, you and the others just refused to see it.” He scoffs and looks around to no one particularly, I still refused to turn to him.

“Oh I’m sorry miss ‘used to love dresses’, it’s kinda hard to think you were a ‘boy’ when you always dressed all pretty like.” 

“Because how I dress doesn’t define who I am,” I couldn’t stop my southern twang from coming through, something I fought to hide for a while. “, I’m very much aware that when I dress feminine people may see me as a girl. But also growin up here, if I dress like how I wanted to I would be shot on site. I’m not an idiot.”

My brother crosses his arms and I feel him staring me down. “So what, you put on a pair of pants and suddenly you were a boy? Is that really how easy it is? To erase the life mom gave you? To destroy the bridge you and dad had?”

“I would have died Evan!” I turn to him, rage clear on my face, “I would have killed myself. My only hope was my friends. Friends you belittled. Do you have any idea what that does to someone?” My brother laughs and his face hardens.

“And you do? Do they become the killers you chase down?”

“No Evan. They kill themselves, they do drugs, they hide every part of them because they can’t live any other way. I didn’t kill the little girl I was, I saved the little boy you tried to snuff out like a fire. I protected myself because the same people who were supposed to do it were the ones cutting me deeper than any of my blades do.” I took a step to him, the fire was clear behind his eyes. “Aren’t you proud? I changed my name. You can tell everyone I died in action. You have no connection to the man I am today. I may have to use extra means to make myself who I am but I am more of a man than you'll ever be.” 

Before he could say anything Emily walks in and tells me she’s ready. I grab my coat and walk out without another word being said.

—-

The next couple of days went on with my brother ignoring me, if he had anything to say he went to Hotch or Derek. Not that I really cared, but I knew the team could tell the tension between my brother and I was getting very heavy.

Spencer walks up to me with an iced coffee, he looked a little unsure of himself. “I remember one time you told me you preferred iced coffee, I went down to the local cafe and got you one.” I thank him softly and take a sip. “Are you okay with working on the case? I mean with your brother and openly gay people being targeted..”

“I’m okay Dr. Reid, I’m a tough cookie you know this.” He nods, tapping his hand on his arm.

“I’m aware of that but after the case I got shot, you were worried about me, I could hardly go pee without you commenting about how I needed my crutches.” His smile was genuine, I knew he truly loved that I cared enough to keep him up with doctor orders.

“It’s not my fault a certain FBI genius liked to test his limits, someone had to care for him.” I smile and he shuffles steps a little closer.

“And this genius wants to make sure you're not chewing off more than you can handle. You’re just as important to this team as Garcia or Morgan or me.” There was a hidden message behind his words, that I was important to him.

“The best thing I can do is work and stay away from my brother where I can. I’ll be okay pretty boy, I’ll be good. You won't even have to handcuff me.” Spencer’s face bloomed into a nice rose pink colour, he was always so easy to fluster. It was another thing that made him one of the cutest people I have ever met. Can stare at dismembered bodies, but can’t handle a compliment fully.

“I’m here for you, we all are. Don’t go somewhere you don’t think iIcan join. I’ll find you, and I'll bring you back.” His hands slowly grab my face, his eyes searching mine. But before we could do anything the door swung open.

“Garcia thinks we found our unsub.” Spencer nods and grabs his vest before turning back to me as Derek leaves.

“I mean it, I’ll follow you into any river, any ocean, any fires you think you have to handle alone.” And like that he was gone. I stayed by the phone waiting for any information that this person actually was our unsub. 

It wasn’t long before Emily was pushing the guy through the station spouting bullshit, saying the kids deserved it. I look at him, he looks back at me. 

“You some little tranny aren’t you. You cried over their deaths? They were gonna do it anyway, why not speed up the progress?” I just stare at him. I knew him, but I knew everyone here.

“Sir, all you’re doing is incriminating yourself. The gender of my agents are none of your concern. He doesn’t have to kill to make himself feel good.” Hotch pushes him forward, him having my back makes me tear up. “He’s not weak. He doesn’t push others around to make himself known. He is a man.” Hotch was pushing the UNSUB every time he would call me a he. 

Spencer shows up beside me, “We found a hair in his truck bed. It’s being analysed right now.” I nodded, his hand finding its way to the nape of my neck. “Hotch is correct, you aren’t..what he said. You’re strong and you’re the male you always knew you would be. You’re so strong being able to fight your way out of a town like this, with a family who did everything it could to keep you down.” All I could do was nod, I didn’t trust my voice.

By the night Hotch had everything he needed to prove this man did it, I started to pack up my stuff. “I will never understand you. Why did you tear it all down?”

I turn to Evan, annoyance clear on my face. “I tore down broken walls, I tore away the paint that hid the beautiful tile underneath. I am who I was always meant to be.” My brother started to talk but I cut him off, “I will never be your sister again, either accept it or stay out of my life.”

“You weren’t meant to be a boy though. You were born a girl, why can’t you understand?”

I take a step closer to him, “Your mind is one of the smartest things in the world, it’s not always connected to your body. Nerves can be damaged, emotions can be out of place. We live in a world where your next door neighbour murdered innocent kids because their brain didn’t match the way their body was. I bet deep down you wished we never caught him.”

“It’s not my fault.”

“It started being your fault after I left how you continued to fill your brain with the idea that who I am was a choice, that the fact I like guys as a guy was something I just woke up and picked. When in reality it was you who drove me away.”

“You’re unnatural.” His fist was balled up and I knew we would never see eye to eye, not in this lifetime.

“Goodbye. Enjoy the wife, but I hope your kids never have to live in the fear I did.” I grab my bags and walk out the station. I fit my bags snuggle in their place as Emily turns to me.

“You know, the family isn’t just blood. The saying ‘blood runs thicker than water’ isn’t always true.” She offers me a small I’m sorry type of smile.

“Actually one of the earliest sayings of the quote was ‘The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’, meaning your brother doesn’t have to be the brother you accept. We will always love you.” Spencer has a goofy smile, his knowledge of everything makes me feel better.

“And I will always love you.” Spencer can’t hold my eyes sensing the deeper meaning behind my words. Derek ruffled my hair and we started the long hours home.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Fantasy High Incorrect Quotes

Fig: I can explain.

Sandra Lynn: Can you?

Fig: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

~

Kristen: A theif.

Adaine: Thief?

Kristen: Theif.

Adaine: I before E, except after C.

Kristen: Thceif.

Adaine: No

~

Somebody: How many kids do you have?

Jawbone: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

~

Riz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Fabian's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

~

Kristen: Change is inedible.

Gorgug: Don't you mean inevitable?

Kristen, spitting out coins: No, I did not

~

Riz: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Sklonda: You're like 15 years old

Riz: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~

Fig: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Fabian: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

~

Jawbone: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Kristen: Thank you

Jawbone: I didn't say that was a good thing

Kristen: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~

Fig giving bardic: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Gorgug: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Riz: Please, I'm begging you go to Kristen.

Fabian: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

~

Kipperlily: Okay. I get it. We’ve had a really hard time lately, we’re stressed out, seven people died-

Ivy: Twelve, actually.

Kipperlily: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Oisin: Yours!

Kipperlily: That's right: no one's.

~

Fabian: Okay, truth or dare?

Riz: Truth

Fabian: How many hours have you slept this week?

Riz:

Riz: ...Dare

Fabian: Go to bed.

Riz: I don’t like this game.

~

Gorgug: Why are you on the floor?

Fig: I'm depressed.

Fig: Also I was stabbed, can you get Kristen, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Jawbone please come to the front desk?

Jawbone, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Fig and Kristen*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Fig and Kristen, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jawbone: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Riz: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Sklonda: Riz no.

Adaine: Mistlefoe.

Sklonda: Please stop encouraging him.

~

Adaine: Hey Kristen,

Kristen: Yes?

Adaine: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Kristen:

Kristen: Where’s Aelwyn?

~

Fabian: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Adaine: Just rip the bandage off.

Fabian: It’s Aelwyn.

Adaine: Put the bandage back on.

~

Riz: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Fabian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Riz: Yes!

Kristen: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~

Jawbone: I trust the Bad Kids.

Sandra Lynn: You think they know what they're doing?

Jawbone: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Fig: If Kristen and I were drowning, who would you save?

Adaine: You two can’t swim?

Kristen: It’s a hypothetical question, Adaine! who would you save?

Adaine: my time and effort.

~

Fig: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Gorgug: You were flirting with Ayda.

Fig: So what? She’s my girlfriend.

Gorgug: You asked her if she was single.

Fig:

Gorgug: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~

Fig: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Kristen: The car takes a screenshot.

Gorgug, fixing the Hangvan: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Fabian: Shit.

Riz: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Fig: OH MY GOD KRISTEN FELL OFF!!!

~

Fig: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Kristen: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Fig: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ADAINE WITH ME

Gorgug, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~

Riz: *Gently taps table*

Adaine: *Taps back*

Kristen: What are they doing?

Fabian: Morse code.

Riz: *Aggressively taps table*

Adaine: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

~

Gorgug: Riz isn’t answering his phone

Fabian: I’ll call

Gorgug: Adaine and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Riz: Hello?

~

Adaine: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Fabian: Rude.

Fig: That’s fair.

Kristen: Not again.

Riz: Are you going to want this back?

~

Adaine: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fig: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kristen: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Riz: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Sandra Lynn: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~

Adaine: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Fabian: Several traffic violations.

Kristen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Riz: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Fig: Also, that’s not our car.

~

Adaine: Are we really going to let Fabian keep Riz?

Fig: We kept Kristen.

~

Fabian, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Kristen: Hey.

Adaine: Hi.

Gorgug: Hello.

Fig: Hey!

Fabian: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Riz: We were out of Doritos.

[aesthetic-gamersnail]

Incorrect Quotes from Trolls 3 ( and a little from other movies, kinda inspired by @enzogabriella)

Poppy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Branch's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Branch: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Branch: Poppy, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Poppy: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Branch: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Floyd.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Viva: Favorite horror movie? Bruce: It John: Saw Clay: Annabelle Poppy: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. John: Shit. Bruce: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Clay: OH MY GOD FLOYD FELL OFF!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Branch, walking into his bunker: Hello, people who do not live here. Floyd: Hey. Bruce: Hi. Clay: Hello. John: Hey! Branch: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! John: We were out of Doritos.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Branch: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Poppy: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Branch: No! Four to five seconds! Poppy: Too late!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Branch: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD John: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING RONDA WITH ME Poppy, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Velvet: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

[donationwayne]

Fuck It Friday

i noticed everyone is mostly doing spicy clips this fuck it friday but i haven't written any buddie smut yet so i hope everyone enjoys a snippet from my upcoming army!eddie fic coming up. It will also be my first multi-chapter fic! (this is from my first draft so if you see any typos please ignore lmaoooo)

i was tagged by @daffi-990 !!!!

Buck and Eddie moved to LA w/ Chris, shortly after Eddie was deployed overseas again. Buck is navigating raising their son on his own in a new state while working a new job and starting at the 118. Things get dicey when Eddie goes MIA overseas.

“Hey Bobby, I hate to ask this, but my Abuela broke her hip while she was watching my son. Would I be able to pick him up from the hospital? His Tia will have her hands full caring for my Abuela.” Bobby blinked at Buck, stupefied. “Your son?” Buck gave the three of them a sheepish smile, turning shy eyes on Chimney and Hen, who were staring at Buck slack-jaw. "Sorry, can you repeat that?” Chimney asked, pretending to clean out his ear with a tinge of sarcasm and shock. “I, yeah—his name is Chris. He’s 7. I’m sorry I never said anything sooner—we were still just trying to settle in. It was a huge change for us to move out here. And on top of that, I didn’t know…” “You didn’t know what it would be like here.” Hen stated. She picked up on the implication behind the half spoken thought easily. In the years since Bobby took over, the crew had grown so much closer, all wound together in one giant, occasionally dysfunctional, family. Even more so, once Athena and Bobby started dating about a year after she and Michael had officially separated. Buck wouldn’t just be introducing himself to a new family, but his son was, which was certainly intimidating. Terrifying even when it was so clear that Buck had some serious self-esteem issues. He was terrified of rejection, and adding an extra party to the equation complicated everything that much more. Buck shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “I never expected LA to become home so fast. Before I really settled in here at the station, I just wanted to be sure it was going to work before I completely committed. I needed to leave my options open in case the hours didn’t work with taking care of him. Texas and LA are extremely different environments, and even though we’d been here through my training, I still wasn’t sure if we’d find a good school.” Buck shakes his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t mention anything sooner, but we just weren’t ready.” “But you’re ready now?” Bobby asked, his expression both unreadable and soft. “Yeah,” Buck glances at the three of them flushing a little. “I really think I am.” “Wait, you’re a Texas boy?” Chim grimaces like he can’t connect the dots to Buck. Buck laughs at his befuddled expression. “Not exactly. I was born and raised in Hershey, Pennsylvania. I ended up in Texas after some traveling.” “Traveling? How did you travel with a whole ass, kid? Aren’t you only like 25?” Buck laughed while watching them struggle with the math of it all. “It's a long story.” One that he was not ready to tell, one that he would not be ready to tell until Eddie was back stateside. Until he was safe in Buck’s arms. “Well, if you want to bring him back here, you’re more than welcome to,” Bobby offered, squeezing Buck’s shoulder comfortingly. “Thank you, Bobby, and I promise this won’t be a regular occurrence.” Buck started to babble. “It's alright, Buck, now go get your son.” Bobby soothed.

I feel like a lot of people have already posted today but if anyone wants to do this who has, tag me so I can see your fic!!!!

[taccobelle]

WELCOME TO MY BOOK CLUB 📚

First rule about The Book Club? talk about The Book Club!

Here in TaccoBelle's book club 📚 is where I will keep a collection of all my favorite recent reads and their authors, in no particular order!

I can't always help in more impactful ways, like commissions, but I can definitely share the content!

if you'd like to join my book club give send an ask! let's make a community of these awesome reads!!

Disclaimer: due to some suspicious and disgusting events happening on this site involving a minor, I feel the obligation to reinforce that most, if not all, of these stories are 18+. They contain content that is NOT suitable for minors, so please do not interact! Mature themes will/may be discussed in these stories that is definitely not appropriate for minors. I do not claim to be the author of any of these works, merely a fan

TaccoBelle's Book Club

Simmer: Jim’s Midnight Grill -line cook! Eddie Munson x Shy Fem! Reader

Author: @upsidedownwithsteve

Summary: welcome to hawkins' number one diner! where the staff don't wanna be there and the linecook is a grumpy metal head who likes to argue with his boss and ignore everyone else. but the new waitress can't hack the rude customers and the regulars can be a little... much.

What to expect: “serving up indiana heatwaves, slow burns, walk in freezer breakdowns, late night talks, shared shakes and food as a love language. order extra spice for $4.

141K, a linecook!au with eddie munson and shy fem!reader.”

My thoughts: I absolutely found this fic by chance, and boy am I glad I did! The writing for this fic is absolutely amazing, the way I feel every single emotion the author wrote was crazy! Eddie is this story is such a little grump and the contrast of the shy teacher was so adorable, my favorite moments were when she was being defiant towards him and he didn’t know how to act because no one had ever stood up against him in his kitchen 🥹 totally recommend, this is a slow burn and I thrive in slow burns, can’t wait to read more from this author!

The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X Cheerleader!Reader

Author: @radioactiveparker

Summary: Five high school students from different walks of life endure a Saturday detention under a power-hungry principal. Each has a chance to tell his or her story, making the others see them a little differently. And when the day ends, they question whether school will ever be the same. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

What to expect: Enemies to lovers / All Characters Are 18+ / Strong Language / Sex References / Mentions of Abuse (physical and emotional) / Cheating / Bad Relationships / Dysfunctional Families / Arguing / Materialism / Kleptomania / Stereotyping / Sexual Orientations / Drug Use / Mentions of Alcohol / Smoking / Pyromania and Fire / References to Demonianism and Satanism / References to Religious Beliefs / Social Alienation / Angst / Hurt-Comfort / Use of Y/N (like once or twice) / Eddie is a complete asshole

“A/N: This mini series is set in its own little world, so it does not follow the Stranger Things timeline, and I have taken some creative liberties with most characters. Yes, they are all still in high school (final year and 18+), and yes, some of the events don't match up - just forget everything you knew about Stranger Things, it's easier that way haha.”

My thoughts: I am in absolute love with this series and can’t wait for updates ! I am so obsessed with the Breaksfast Club narrative, the enemies to lovers, the popular girl x school freak. It’s so enticing and I am a sucker for it! But what the author does that I am loving is that they set themselves apart from the original movie, js the interaction of the reader with other characters, I won’t spoil it, but it’s a little heartbreaking 💔 from the little that I have read from the 3 chapters so far, it is great!

Not Very Noble

Author: @allthingsjoeq

Summary: Your kingdom is placed under threat of liquidation, the villagers crying out for help as each day they enter greater poverty. As their princess you have been chosen to amend the broken monarchy, creating a truce between the neighbouring royals, and fulfilling a marriage decided by the King. A low-ranking knight and Princess both from reverse backgrounds thrusted together against choice, they descend into a journey of Hate, Lust and Love all while caught in between a circle of lies.  

What to expect: Knight Eddie x Princess Reader Disclaimer: Enemies to Lovers, Angst, eventual fluff, light smut to come. Royal and medieval references but they may not all be 100% accurate.

My thoughts: I have a huge fascination with Medieval things, and think there isn’t nearly enough Eddie Munson Medieval themed AU’s and I think that’s a problem! This in particular is so well written, so beautifully put, it made me weep, and cry like a big baby from reading this, and it’s not even complete yet!!!!!! Y’all KNOW how much I buss down for an Enemies to Lovers trope 😩 I really hope they update this soon because I am patiently waiting 🥹

Not Wholly Evil

Author: @uglypastels

Summary: as the daughter of the Governor, there is quite a heavy prize set on your safe return home, and the captain will not let anything come between him and his bounty.

What to expect: "semi dark fic" - READ the warnings:. (gun/sword)violence. blood. minor character death. allusions to suicide. kidnapping. imprisonment. alcohol. open and deep sea. pirates are pigs: frequent mentions of non-con and allusions to assault, but it does not actually occur. malnourishment. abuse. manhandling.

My thoughts: I LOVE me some pirate au, I think it is so incredibly fitting for Eddie to be set in this role. It is still on-going so it only has 2 chapters, but that was enough to make me sign up for the tag list!! It’s is beautifully written, the descriptions are so good it makes me feel like I am IN the Hellfire ship. Super excited to see where this is take me, and I hope they update it soon because it’s my new obsession!

Turtle dove and the crow

Author: @blue-mossbird

Summary: You’ve known Edward Munson since he moved into the farm next door with his uncle - eight years old, odd, and utterly intriguing to you. For ten years, you’ve known him, and over that time, he’s become your best friend. But now, in the dreamy haze of August heat, you begin to know him in a different way. And in this process of knowing and becoming known, lives will be irrevocably changed.

What to expect: 1940s Farm AU, featuring bsf!neighbor!eddie x fem!reader18+ (minors dni). smut; true love; unexpected pregnancy; angst, angst, angst; parental issues; corporal punishment; scheming, plotting, and betrayal; hurt/comfort; period-typical stigma regarding unwed pregnancy; angst with a happy ending. oral (f!receiving), p in v, unprotected sex, breeding kink.

My thoughts: holy shit my dudes, I think I found my new hyper fixation, to add to the list of stories I will check daily for updates! This is only the first episode and it already has me in a death grip 🫥 I am in love with 1940’s due to Bucky Barnes, and mixing Eddie in with that aesthetic threw me for a loop!! This is not the fic for you if you want cannon content, it is clearly set in another world, a different decade, and seems to me like it’s Eddie’s personality adapted for a 1940’s farm boy view, and I think I’m in love. Plus my fantasy of being a southern Belle (that’s my name if you didn’t know) is in an all time high with this. I can already picture all of the angst and all the crying in my bed at 2am this story will bring me, and I’m so excited 🤩

June Baby

Author: @luveline

Summary: you’re a single mom living three trailers down. eddie thinks you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. queue smiley face oatmeal, grossly misused power tools, desserts on the living room floor, a haircut, and an abundance of nerd metaphors

What to expect: teen mom!reader, fem!reader, r is Junie’s birth mother, fluff, hurt/comfort, Eddie ends up being a total girl dad (<3), mutual pining, yearning, etc, tw for not having much money, general loneliness, mentions of a shitty/traumatic pregnancy, general mom struggles :(, slow-burn friends to lovers, you wash Eddie’s hair!!!! this was low-key requested by anon

My thoughts: Honest to god, this is one o the best writing I have ever read on this app. The way Jade uses her words to describe the scenes, ughhhhhhh I can't explain, but Jade writes like a scene of a movie. It does not feel like the supporting characters don't feel like they seize to exist as soon as the main characters move on to a different scene. I love how the supporting characters are all incredibly detailed, feel like real people, and have real people reactions to things; weird, I know, haha. I love how much I adore this story so much. it does not feel like a simple fic, like I would invest in a start-up for this to be published into an actual book. It is so good, so sweet. I absolutely adore this story. It makes my heart do three summersaults per second every time Jade posts a new chapter, the characters have my fucking heart 🥺

Meet The Munsons

Author: @mypoisonedvine

Summary: you were barely acquaintances in high school, but his reputation as a delinquent and freak didn't exactly endear you to him. now he's moving in. at the risk of being too literal: oh, brother.

What to expect: kind of incest, but not really? male masturbation, swearing, mentions/implications of a deceased parent, reader is a tad judgmental but that's what character development is for!

My thoughts: I have read and re-read this story about three times. If I'm not mistaken, this is the only complete one on this list. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! it made me so giddy. a grown woman giggling and kicking my feet like a little girl. I love the evolution of the characters and the way, slowly but surely, their feelings start to slip out, and by the end, you are totally like, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST HOLD HANDS, I BEG OF YOU. Not gonna lie, the "kind of incest" threw me off at first, but then you find out that they aren't actually related in no way possible; the reader's mom marries Uncle Wayne, and they are not raised together, so their not that weird situation of raised like siblings, which would make it really weird when they make out pretty heavily. Can't believe I'm defending incest.

The "Yes" Policy

Author: @pinkrelish

Summary: After a lifetime of questionable decisions, you moved from the big city to the sleepy town of Hawkins with your best friend and took the first job you saw: answering phones for the most boring auto shop in the dullest place on Earth. It wasn't exactly the adventure you wanted it to be.. but attempting to win over the jaded mechanic who insisted on ignoring your existence proved entertaining.

What to expect: slow burn, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, flirting, mutual pining, angst, drug/alcohol mention/use, depictions of poverty, sort of grumpy x sunshine, but Eddie's just tired, reader and Eddie are mid-late 20's

My thoughts: This fic singlehandedly made me fall in love with the sunshine x grumpy trope, the thought of Eddie being a girl dad makes my heart double in size. Him being a single dad, Wayne being grandpapi is too cute! them doing their best to provide the best for their little princess, and the relationship between Miss Mouse and Adrie has my heart.

To Have and To Scold

Author: @icallhimjoey

Summary: Your best friends are getting married, and who else can they ask to be their best man and maid of honour but you and Joe? It's just that... you don't really get along all that well, do you? At least, that's what you think.

What to expect: CW / disclaimer: sort of enemies to sort of lovers (very vague, im sorry, but you'll see), language, drinking, rpf, fem!reader

My thoughts: I don’t usually like reading real person fics, like when the character is actually a real life person, I much prefer a fictional character because otherwise sometimes I get weirded out. That being said, I decided to give this fic a try, and I must say that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the story. I picked it up and couldn’t put the phone down till I finished! The characters are engaging, and story is so sweet 🫶🏼

Bad Idea

Author: @lunarzstarz

Summary: Not wanting to leave for college with your virginity still intact, you turn to your last resort that you know can only end terribly…

What to expect: NSFW 18+ minors dni, drugs, first Times, oral (F receiving), fingering, protected sex, nicknames (Princess/Sweetheart), Eddie being a goof but also an asshole (Slightly proofread) Fuckboy!EddieMunson x Virgin!Fem!Reader

My thoughts: smut, plain smut. And I love it. Eddie is kind of a dickhead, not gonna lie, but then he starts to show signs of falling for the reader, regular shmegular lowkey toxic trope, but I love it!!!!

Crayons and Cassettes

Author: @comfort-writing

Summary: You are a kindergarten teacher. Eddie’s daughter, Sage, is in your class. She bonds with you instantly, and Eddie is trying not to do the same.

What to expect: his fic will be 18+ in later chapters, so minors DNI! In this chapter, it is mentioned that rumors about Eddie still linger. no use of y/n. I can think of nothing else for this chapter because it’s just an introductory one, but please let me know if I missed anything!

My thoughts: I have not finished this fic yet, but s far it is amazing!! Eddie is so nervous and so sweet, but still nerdy, and charming.

Honey I'm Home

Author: @trashmouth-richie

Summary: you were desperate for a roommate after Nancy got married and moved out. An ad in the paper goes unanswered until someone comes knocking on the door.

What to expect: enemies to lovers trope, eventual smut, language, crude behavior, Eddie is a fucking menace.

My thoughts: I honestly fell in love with this story, it is so mysterious, and so touching, funny, endearing, and most of all, a big tease. I fell in love with these characters, and their personalities, how they are together, and how the interact with one another. The idea of an older protective Eddie, that is conflicted with the thoughts of seeing Tooty as a little girl, but now she is a grown woman is mesmerizing to read, and Richie does an amazing job at writing it all so well.

Disjointed

Author: @boomhauer

Summary: Nurse!Reader is reunited with her high school crush in the emergency room. Faced with a lifetime worth of debt, she helps Eddie in the only way she can.

What to expect: Fake marriage. Friends to lovers. Medical trauma. Lemon/Smut. Angst. Slow burn. No Vecna!!

My thoughts: This a new type of fic for me, I had never read anything in the nursing realm, an amazing first! I appreciate the reality of it all, from what I understand the author has personally experienced some of these scenarios, and im guessing has been/is a nurse practitioner, so makes for an extremely believable, and amusing plot!!

Twenty Four Hours

Author: @ghost-proofbaby

What to expect: modern!Eddie Munson x fem!reader, uses female pronouns on occasion. strong language, eventual smut, upside down does not exist, minors dni

Summary: in which Eddie Munson and you absolutely hate each other's guts. what happens when your friends make a bet that you can't spend more than twenty-four hours consecutively together? modern!college!eddie x college!fem!reader

My Thoughts: I love Enemies to Lovers trope!! This fic is full of stunning writing, amazing visual descriptions of feelings, and hot-ass characters! this made me cry on multiple occasions, in a good way! Though I am a crybaby. Eddie is such a sweetheart in this, and mean in some chapters, but it's all for the feels!!

Smoke Signals

Author: @eddies-house

What to expect: Grumpy!Eddie Munson x shy!reader, uses female pronouns on occasion, strong language, eventual smut, PTSD, trauma, talks about trauma, mentions of death, mentions of bullying, minors dni, set in a town other than Hawkings

Summary: Relocating to the small town of Knife’s Edge in hopes of leaving your old life behind and starting brand new solves all of your problems, right? Wrong. It only creates more and one of them may live right next door. Side effects may include blaring music at 3AM, a scowling neighbor, and one too many shots of tequila on several occasions. (That The Bourbon will not be comping.)

My Thoughts: I love Enemies to Lovers trope! That much isn't any news to you guys! This fic is so lovely written, I love how real the characters feel, and how immersed I was in reading this, I am so related to the character because I too am a crybaby. Eddie is such a sweetheart in this, I just want Bambi to hug and kiss him 🥹, and mean in some chapters, but it isn't in a toxic sort of way.

Begin Again

Author: @abibliophobiaa

What to expect: Eddie’s post-S4 trauma; panic attacks; nightmares; family member loss; grief; alcohol use; mild smut in later chapters, so 18+; additional warnings to be added. Eddie Munson x afab!reader, sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie vibes

Summary: The year is 1988. After the loss of a beloved family member, you find yourself inheriting an old coffee shop. The quiet bartender at the Hideout across the street just so happens to catch your eye.

My Thoughts: you know that I love sunshine!reader x grumpy!eddie vibes! This fic is so nicely written, It has long chapters which I fiend for, I absolutely adore it when a fic has 20K words in one chapter, it only has 4 of them because it takes place as a chapter for each season, which is generous btw, wish I'd thought of this!

Beast of Burden

Author: @neonghostlights

What to expect: Fuckboy!Werewolf!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader Eddie gets called a man-whore (not by reader), mates, cussing, mention of almost hitting an animal with your car (doesn't happen but almost does), parental and grandparent death (readers whole family is dead) 18+ only, minors dni

Summary: (doesn't really have a summary, but this post the author made pretty much sums up) "I’m thinking about fuckboy!werewolf Eddie. Let’s say he’s gotten around with every girl in Hawkins because he never thought he’d have a mate. That was until you, a human, showed up and proved him wrong. Now he has to find a way to prove himself to you."

My Thoughts: yeah! fucking sue me, I like werewolf fanfictions! I can't really blame it all on Twilight, except I absolutely will blame it all on Twilight. But I swear this is really cute, and I live for it!

[jaxteller87]

thankful part 1

Jax’s POV

“You know Halloween’s come and gone, right?” I said with a grin as I flopped onto the sofa next to Amber. We were both on Thanksgiving break, enjoying some well-deserved downtime.

Amber giggled, her eyes sparkling, “Yes, I do. It was the end of Casper.”

I leaned in closer, planting a playful kiss on her hand. “Well then, Amber, ask your silly question.”

With a twinkle in her eye, she asked, “Can I keep you?”

I burst into laughter, unable to contain myself, “Of course you can, as long as I can keep you too.” I smirked down at her and planted a sweet kiss on her forehead.

Amber shifted a bit, snuggling closer to me. “Deal.”

“So, I swung by to invite you and your parents to Thanksgiving dinner at the clubhouse. Gemma told me I should invite the whole family, which I was going to do, but you know me—always waitin’ til the last minute for things.”

A warm smile spread across her face. “I’ll definitely do that,” she replied, resting her head on my lap as we watched the end of the movie.

She couldn’t resist teasing, “So, I’ve got to ask, do the boys think I’ve stolen you away this week?”

I chuckled, gently running my finger over her cheek. “No, they haven’t.” One thing I loved about Amber was her understanding that I had a life outside of our relationship. She wasn’t the type to be possessive or jealous, and I admired that.

Amber’s POV

It was finally turkey day, and Gemma had prepared a feast with all the fixins’. It didn’t take long for everyone to be seated around the huge table. There was Bobby, Tig, Piney, and Opie. Opie mentioned that Donna would be joining us later since her family was in town.

“Alright, here’s the lowdown, folks. We’ve got turkey, the star of the show, cooked to perfection by Gemma. Then, there’s creamy mashed potatoes, stuffing that’s to die for, a medley of roasted veggies, and don’t forget the cranberry sauce –“

“Mm. Cranberry sauce,” Tig drolled a little, “ I like it cuz’ it’s sweet and tangy, like us.”

 “And to top it off, we’ve got pies, pumpkin, and pecan because why settle for one when you can have both?” I added.

“I 100 percent agree with that logic, son,” Piney joked. I could see the reflection of the pie in his eyes.

“Alright, gang, dig in, and let’s celebrate this day the only way we know how – with good food and great company.”

“Is there anything I can help you with, Mrs. Teller?” my mom asked, wearing a warm smile.

Gemma laughed, “Please, call me Gemma. And no, sweetie, you just sit back and enjoy the food.”

Piney raised his glass in a toast, his gruff voice cutting through the chatter.

“To family, friends, a damn fine turkey, and both kinds of pie,” he declared, and everyone clinked their glasses.

Laughter filled the room again as they dug into their Thanksgiving feast and in the midst of their brotherly banter,

I couldn’t help but smile as Jax grabbed my hand under the table.

“This food is wonderful, Gemma; thank you,” my parents said, smiling.

“Yeah, Mom, you did good with the turkey,” Jax chimed in, his mouth full.

“I know, but thank you, baby,” she replied with a snarky grin.

Many years later

I couldn’t help but giggle as I watched Thomas, our little troublemaker, attempt to steal some turkey off Jax’s plate. Despite Jax not being part of the club anymore, we still came together for Thanksgiving.

“Tell Daddy, say ‘turkey,’” I coaxed, a mischievous smile on my face.

“Key,” he beamed at his daddy.

“Turkey,” Jax smiled, slowly repeating it back to him and piling more meat onto our son’s plate.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, buddy,” Jax smiled, leaning in to kiss our son’s head.

I turned my attention to Mary, our sweet girl, and asked, “How are you doing lovebug? Need anything?” I leaned over the table to see her.

“I’m good, Mama,” she replied, grinning through a mouthful of food.

Nero and Clay were sitting at the same table, something I never thought I’d see.

“Here’s to family,” Nero announced, holding his glass above his head.

“A dysfunctional family,” Clay added.

“Hey, a dysfunctional family is still a family,” Jax quipped.

Clay nodded and smirked, “This is true.”

“Daddy, what does ‘dysfunctional’ mean?” Mary asked, her curious blue eyes looking up at him.

“Yeah, Daddy, what does ‘dysfunctional’ mean?” Tig chimed in with a chuckle.

Jax paused and flashed a nervous glance around the room, but all eyes were on him. “Well, um—kiddo, a dysfunctional family is like a bag of mixed nuts. Some of them are a little nutty, some are a bit cracked, and a few are just plain nuts, but when you put ’em all together, you get one crazy, unforgettable bunch of nuts that love each other no matter what.”

“Oh,” Mary thought for a moment, “So, Uncle Tiggy is one of the nutty ones?”

Everyone laughed, even Tig. “Yeah, that’s a fair assumption,” he added.

Later that night, we all snuggled up in bed after a little smoke and sandwich. Jax turned to me, holding me close, and asked, “Humor me.”

I nodded, looking up at him.

“I know your birthday is still a few months away, but it’s your 40th...”

I smiled and kissed the tip of his nose, “As of right now, I’m okay, Jax. I’m not upset, and I promise if I am, I’ll tell you.”

“You better,” he whispered, kissing my forehead. “And the other reason I’m asking is Donna and Ma are already asking what you might want. I told them something small, no need for some big production.”

“Yeah, I—” I paused.

“What is it, babe?” Jax asked.

“What’s bugging me already is my parents being gone. How in the world has it been ten years already?” I sighed.

“I think that’s what made it so bad. I turned 30, still trying to wrap my head around it, and then, bam, I lost not one but both my parents, not even a month later. And you were right there,” I chuckled, “I wasn’t alone. I had you and Gem, but I felt like I was. I had no family all of a sudden, and it was like, ‘How in the hell am I going to take care of myself?’ So I did what I do best, buried it in my gut, and didn’t deal with it until it all caught up with me.”

Jax interjected, “And watching you go through that wasn’t easy either. I felt helpless.”

“This time, it’s different. I know I’m not alone. I have a family, two little ones running around, and I have a job. So turning 40 isn’t going to be as bad as 30 was, I promise,” I reassured him, looking up at my husband.

“Babe, I promise that the minute I feel my depression start to creep up on me, you’ll be the first to know.”

Jax nodded, “We’ve got this, babe. We’re in this together, no matter what.”

I smiled, feeling a weight lifted from my shoulders. “And if all else fails, I’ll just start a biker club of retirees and call ourselves ‘The Sons of Arthritis.’ You can be my Vice President.”

Jax burst into laughter, “Sons of Arthritis? You might be onto something there. But only if we get matching golden leather jackets.”

“I was thinking pink with glitter,” I peered from the corner of my eye, trying to gauge his reaction as if I were legitimately pitching the idea.

“Pink glitter, huh?” He chirped, “As VP, I’m going to have to call that to a vote at the next meeting.”

“Oh, is that so?” I laughed.

“Yeah,” he gave me a humorous stare, “Because if I’m going to have a pink glitter bike, I definitely don’t want my cut clashing with my ride.”

We both laughed, imagining a future where we were still rebels at heart, even in our golden years. No matter what lay ahead, our unbreakable bond would surely guide us through.

[thespamman24]

Welcome to the 2024 Sbvevies!

The Nominees For Smelliest Film Are

The Substance: Body horror smells bad

100s of Beavers: It technically didn’t come out this year, but everyone saw it this year. Anywhoo, this film is filled with animal guts and unwashed, smelly men running around. Sorry, only the men are running around. The animal guts stay perfectly still. 

Dune: I just know Baron Harkonnen smells rancid. “Oh, but wouldn’t he douse himself in perfumes?” I hear you ask. Wrong! In chapter seven of “Chapterhouse:Dune”, it reads, “The Harkonnens all smell like shit all the time”.

Alien Romulus: Everyone is in a tight, claustrophobic environment, running around, and getting their sweat on. That’s not even to mention the actual aliens, as they probably smell gross. Also, you just know that CGI Ian Holmes smelled disgusting, with all his milky tubes hanging out.

And the winner is…

FURIOSA! Where do I even begin? Immortan Joe’s strange, sickly form?  The hundreds of sweaty, sweaty men who probably never bathe? All of the car oil? 

The Nominees for best screaming are…

Dune, Part II: This is for that aaaAAAAAAaaaAAAAA

Alien Romulus: Being chased by a spooky monster often leads to lots of screaming, as is the case for this movie.

V/H/S Beyond: Being an anthology film, there’s a high diversity of screams here.

And the Winner Is…

CHALLENGERS! My favorite part of tennis is always when the people go “Ooh! Aaah! Oh!”

The nominees for artistic hornieness are

Megalopolis: Audrey Plaza plays a character named….what was it again? Platinum Buttocks or something, I believe. What’s important is that the film is horny.

Alien: Romulus: This is here by virtue of being an Alien movie.

Nosferatu: Considering the subtext of the horniness, I feel bad about putting this one here, but Robert Eggers will shoot me if I don’t.

The Substance: The fact that this film isn’t directed by a straight man is mind blowing considering how many shots of woman’s butts there are. Maybe that’s a point.

And the winner is…

ANORA! There is more fucking in this movie than…I dunno, a place where there’s a lot of fucking.

The Nominees For a Lack of Subtlety re

The Substance: I wonder what this film is about. Something tells me it has something to do with sexism and the entertainment industry, but I don’t know why.

Juror Number 2: There’s like twenty different scenes where someone goes “Well, the legal system isn't perfect, but it could be worse”. I GET IT!

Emilia Perez: They sing a song about top surgery and how penis becomes vagina, and that’s an entirely different brand of unsubtle.

And the winner is…

THE JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX! Being a sequel to the first joker means it automatically qualifies.

The Nominees for Worse Fake Accent Are:

Selena Gomez for Emilia Perez: I haven’t seen the film, but everyone on the internet is really mad about Selena Gomez’s accent. 

And The Winner Is:

Half The Cast Of Dune II: Fremen don’t talk like that. I won’t tolerate this bullshit..

The Nominees For Most Dysfunctional Family Unit:

I Saw The TV Glow: Well, yeah, duh, abuse is dysfunctional. Way too bring the mood down. 

Anora: The funniest scene in the film was when the Russian guy asked his parents if they would love him if he was gay and they went “Dude, we already fucking hate you”. At least, I think that's what happened. It’s been a moment since I saw the film.

Dune, Part II: Kissing your uncle on the lips is gross. 

The Apprentice: I’m just gonna assume based on the fact that Donald Trump is in it. Every unit he’s in is a dysfunctional one.

And the Winner Is…

MAXXINE! However, I can’t say why, because it’s a spoiler.

The Nominees For Actor Who Clearly Didn’t Want To Be In The Movie Are:

JK Simmons from Red One: No one has actually seen this film, so I’m just assuming.

Jeff Goldblum from Wicked: The man seemed stoned, which I guess is the usual vibe Jeff gives off, but he seemed especially stoned this time.

Dakota Johnson from Madame Web: Haha funny joke, wait a minute, that was this year?!? What?!?

And The Winner Is:

Everyone In Kraven! I haven't seen it, but it’s clear that none of the actors wanted to be in Kraken, because why would they want to be?

The Nominees For Most Queer Subtext:

Love Lies Bleeding: There’s queer subtext in the sense that there are gay people, and they have sex, but they’re not saying that they’re having sex when they’re doing it, thereby making it subtextual.

Queer: There’s queer subtext in the sense that there are gay people, and they have sex, but they’re not saying that they’re having sex when they’re doing it, thereby making it subtextual.

Conclave: There’s queer subtext in the sense that it’s the funniest possible reading of the movie.

I Saw The TV Glow: I mean…yeah.

Wicked: Why is there not an entire industry of ship art for this particular musical? Lord only knows how much Hamilton ship art the internet has forced me to see.

Look Back: I actually only included the category because I wanted Look Back to be on this list. 

And the Award Goes To…

Deadpool and Wolverine! I actually have seen a lot of fanart of this one, and not by choice.

The Nominees For Worst Vacation Experience Are,

A Real Pain: I don’t want to investigate the troubled relationships I have with my family members on vacation. That’s what jobs are for.

Juror #2: Jury duty is a kind of vacation experience in a way, and it’s usually not this stressful.

And the Winner Is…

SPEAK NO EVIL! I want to speak during my vacation, thank you very much.

The Nominees For Worst Job Experience Are,

Abigail: Everyday when I go to work, I pray there are no explosions.

Civil War: Absolutely under no conditions do I want to risk death for my job.

The Substance: This isn’t just a bad job experience for Demi Moore, but for everyone in the final ending scene. Those poor camera men and tech guys just wanted a paycheck.

Saturday Night: Yeah.

And The Winner is…

CONCLAVE! This one’s here because it feels the most like being stressed out at your job.

The Nominees For Best Animal Are:

The Cat from Flow: He seemed nice.

Sonic from Sonic 3: A Sonic is a kind of animal.

The Bees From The Beekeeper: Bees are pretty neat as small yellow objects go.

And The Winner Is…

MONKEY ROBBIE WILLIAMS FROM BETTER MAN! He’s a monkey who sings. My hands are figuratively tied. They’re also literally tied, but that’s for unrelated reasons.

The Nominees For Unluckiest Janitors Are:

Abigail:  A lot of surfaces get covered in blood in this film.

Gladiator II: Not only is there blood everywhere, I don’t think janitors in Roman times had a good salary. Also, mopping up the arena is probably difficult because how do you mop up sand?

Dune, Part II: Being a janitor in the Dune universe has got to suck because you have to deal with space goop, which is the worst kind of goop.

Anora: That one maid probably had a really shitty time that day.

And The Winner Is,

THE SUBSTANCE! No amount of salary benefits could pay for having to mop up a boob eye.

The Nominees For Best Press Surrounding A Film Are:

Madame Web: God, the interviews were so funny.

Challengers: In order to get hype for the film, the screenwriter created a viral video of him wanting potions ten years earlier.

A Better Man: It was funny to find out that there is a secret celebrity that the British have been keeping from us for years.

And the Winner is…

WICKED! All I want in my life is someone to be my Ariana Grande to my Cynthia Erevo, is that too much to ask? 

The Nominees For Worst Film To Show To Aliens Who Have Never Seen A Movie Before And Also Don't Know Anything About Humanity:

I Saw The TV Glow: I just don’t think they would understand the themes. 

Sonic the Hedgehog 3: Having not seen the first two, the aliens would be confused.

VHS Beyond: There’s a lot of evil aliens in this one, so it would be awkward. I guess I could have put Alien:Romulus here, but there’s (basically) only one species of evil alien in that one. 

And The Winner Is…

 THE SUBSTANCE!

If aliens see it, they may think that people normally do this, and that will weird them out. 

And Now, The Categories You’ve All Been Waiting For! The Nominees For Sexist Jerk Are,

Feyd Rautha in Dune, Part II: I mean, come on.

The Racist Bishop in Conclave (his name is Tabasco): He’s a shitty person, but the swagger on this guy is insane.

The Mother From Longlegs: I like a woman who knows what she wants.

The Serial Killer Guy In Trap: Massive DILF energy with this guy.

The Younger Version of the Lady in the Substance: It was kind of mean of her to (spoiler), but I could fix her. 

Art The Clown From Terrifier 3: Don’t judge me.

And the award goes to.. Feyd Rautha! Tabasco was close, but I find vaping unsexy, even if he looked really cool while he did it. 

[good4olivia]

a welcome distraction

Aemond Targaryen x f!reader i don't think there are any warnings but feel free to message me if you think there are!

----

Aemond Targaryen watched his sister dance with his nephew, the dull anger from watching her with his brother all these years resurfacing in wake of this. He was in the middle of imagining ways he could slit Jace’s throat when he noticed out of the corner of his one eye, a serving girl making quick glances at him. He hadn’t seen you before, your soft brown skin and even darker hair, atone with your deep brown eyes. You looked nothing like a Targaryen and that’s what intrigued him the most. The second thing, was your obvious dotting on Rhaenyra’s boys. So you were a serving girl from Dragonstone. Aemond assumed, watching you as you filled the cups of everyone’s drink. He didn’t miss how your hands shook when pouring the wine for his mother but you were at ease around Rhaenyra. 

He continued to watch you, grateful for the welcome distraction from obsessing over his sister. That was until Aegon called for more wine, “You’re a pretty thing aren’t you?” Aemond’s jaw clenched as he watched his brother slide a wandering hand down your back. You’re not having her. 

You had no idea how to respond to the prince, you could not offend him but you had zero desire of giving him any indication you wanted more than to serve him wine. “Thank you, my prince.” You said, eyes down focusing only the table. Good girl. Aemond thought as he saw you scurry away. 

“So dear nephew,” Aegon started as Jace sat back down, “You have to tell me, what’s it like fucking her?” He gestured towards where you stood at the back wall, fumbling around with the spare plates. 

Jace glared, “Unlike you, dear uncle - I can be in close quarters with a woman and not have to bed her.” 

“Ah, you don’t know how too, that’s it isn’t it?” He laughed, sipping more his wine, “Do you need me to show you were you put your cock?”  

Aemond tuned out the rest of their conversation, looking over to where you were collecting the third course of the night from the cooks. He saw your hungry gaze linger of the lamb roast. When you approached Aemond with the food, he quickly tore  a generous chuck and handed it to you, “Here.” You wanted to resist but he already shoved it in your dress pocket. You only managed a small ‘thank you’ before moving on. 

Aemond smirked to himself when he saw you scoff down the lamb in the corner, ducking your head slightly when you caught notice of his gaze. He quickly grew bore of this family dinner, he had the urge to explore his new feelings towards you. So he created a scene, suggested that Rhaenyra’s children were bastards and let his dysfunctional family do the rest. It wasn’t till after he got punched by Jace that he noticed you were gone. His mood shifted instantly. Did he scare you away already? 

He left the dining hall immediately, hell bent on finding you. He searched the maid’s quarter and kitchen to no luck, even Jace’s chambers (though he was happy he didn’t find you there.) Aemond was about to go for a ride on Vheagar to calm down when he noticed you. On one of the balcony’s watching the dragon’s flying in the air. 

“Hello.” He called out to you, still serval feet away from you. 

The intrusion startled you, you quickly bowed. “Hello my prince, I’m sorry-“ 

“For what? Why are you sorry?” He asked with an intense look in his eye, quickly closing the gap between you two. 

“I, I don’t know.” You replied, your breath getting caught in your throat from being so close to the handsome prince. 

“You left the party, things were just getting interesting.” He said to you, drawing his hand down your arm, testing your reaction to his touch. Aemond was pleased with your reaction. 

“Jace dismissed me, he didn’t want me to get hurt.” You told him. It was the truth but it seemed so silly saying it out loud now. 

Aemond’s eyes grew darker at that, “My nephew felt the need to protect you from me, how fascinating.” He chuckled, though there was no humour in his voice. 

“No, my prince-“ 

“Hmm, I love the way you say that, ‘my prince.’ I hear it every day, yet you make it seem so delicate coming from your lips.” He said, moving his hand from your arm to run his thumb across your lip. 

“I should be heading back to the hall.” You bid him farewell but only got two steps away until Aemond got a hold of your forearm. 

“I want you to stay with me, my lady. You’re so beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?” He asked you. 

You glanced down to where he was holding onto you, warmth flooding your being from his touch. “No. Not really, my prince.” You replied. 

Aemond held back a groan from your soft, soft voice and soft eyes looking directly at his. Who were you to make him feel these things, he thought long dead? 

“Have you ever rode on Dragonback?” He asked you, hearing Vhegar approach the balcony. He had never flown Vhegar with anyone before, vowing he never would. One evening with you, you had changed his mind completely. He thought you to be a sources the way you’re messing with his heart and head so quickly and intensely. 

“I can’t say that I have, my prince.” You replied, each moment with Aemond making you feel more confident and more anxious at the same time. 

“Would you join me then? I would love the honour of being your first.” You didn’t miss the double meaning in his words. 

There was nothing more in the world you ever wanted than to ride a Dragon, you would watch all the Targaryen’s fly around on theirs - always dreaming of what it would be like up there. You knew you’re place, you were only a serving girl who wore dirt brown dresses and ate only leftovers but right now, being offered the only experience you had ever wanted - you did not have the willpower to deny it. 

“Would Vhagar be okay with that?” You asked carefully, peering behind Aemond at the beautiful beast. 

Aemond smiled, you were so gentle and kind but there was something underneath all that, he could tell and he wanted nothing more than to bring that side of you out. 

“You needn’t worry about that my beauty, shall we?” He held out his hand to yours. As soon as you placed your’s in his, he squeezed tight and led you to the edge of the balcony where his dragon was waiting. 

You stopped, the reality of what was going on sinking in. Aemond noticed right away; “Do not worry my flower, I will hold onto you the entire time.” He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulled you close and kissed behind your ear. 

Aemond helped you onto the dragon’s back. The second you were on the Dragon, you felt the most powerful and afraid you’ve ever felt in your entire life. Aemond pulled you close, hugging your body to his. He felt his own desire rage inside of him at the feel of your body so close to his, you’re neck on his shoulder, your arms around his waist, your breasts pressed up to his back - his lustful thoughts interrupted by Vhegar taking flight. 

It was like everything you imagined, the wind in your hair, the view of the Red Keep from here, being close to the stars - everything. Aemond turned around to face you and you held each other’s gaze for a moment before he leaned into kiss you, the moon shining in the background. 

Too soon, Vhegar was slowing down and he came to a stop on the beach, Aemond jumped down first and then held both is hands out for you, catching you as you leaped slightly off the Dragon and into his arms. He planted another kiss on your lips as you landed in his arms. 

“Thank you, my prince. That was amazing.” You said as you walked with Aemond up to the castle, he hadn’t let go of your hand and he didn’t think he would ever let go. 

[i-am-bitterly-jittery]

Day 7: Gift Exchange

For @moxiety-week

Word Count: 2009

Rating: Teen

Pairing: Moxiety 💙💜 Loceit

Warnings: mentions of dysfunctional families, anxiety

~~~START~~~

Patton looked up when a tapping began on his window. A year ago, this would have been a strange occurrence considering that Patton’s room was on the second story; but now… 

He pulled the baby blue curtains from the window to reveal his boyfriend of five months balancing precariously on the ledge below his window. 

“You know, you could just use the door,” Patton teased as he pushed the window open to allow Virgil to climb in. 

“This is more fun,” Virgil smirked, clambering in much more gracefully than Patton would have if their positions were reversed. “Plus, your dads hate me.” 

“They don't hate you,” Patton chuckled, leading Virgil over to the bed so they could both sit. “Of course, they’d like you better if you came in through the door.” 

“I didn’t want to wake the whole house.” 

“No one’s asleep yet,” Patton laughed. It was just after ten p.m. on December 24th, which was after Patton’s weekday curfew, but before his weekend curfew, and therefore a totally appropriate time for Virgil to visit. “Well, the twins are probably in bed, but they’re probably way too excited about Christmas tomorrow to sleep.” 

“Yeah, well, speaking of Christmas,” Virgil said, reaching into his pocket. “I just came by to give you your present.” 

“Oh honey, you didn’t have to!” Patton exclaimed as Virgil presented him with a small box wrapped in last week’s spelling test. 

“We, uh, didn’t have any wrapping paper in the house, so I improvised.” 

“It’s wonderful! Oh! Your gift is downstairs under the tree, I can go get it if–” 

“That’s okay,” Virgil interjected quickly, grabbing Patton’s wrist as the other teen got up to leave. “You can give it to me later.” 

Patton smiled gently and placed the gift down on the bed beside him. Then he pulled Virgil forward until their noses were almost touching. “My dad doesn’t hate you; my pop doesn’t hate you; neither of them will be upset that you’re here.” 

“Even if I do this?” Virgil asked before closing the gap between them. 

Patton giggled into the kiss before wrapping his arms around Virgil’s neck and pulling him even closer. 

He might have been a little distracted, so maybe he could be forgiven for not hearing the first knock at his door… and the second knock at the door… and the sound of the door opening… 

There was no way to mistake the sound of his dad clearing his throat though, especially not with the way Virgil jumped back as though he’d been burned. 

“Good evening, Virgil,” Logan said, looking entirely unimpressed. “Are you hungry? We have leftovers in the refrigerator that you are more than welcome to have. I’m sure Patton can prepare a plate for you.” 

“Th-thank you, sir,” Virgil stuttered, staring resolutely at his feet. 

Dad nodded, satisfied. Then he turned to Patton. “Patton, you are aware that you are required to leave the door open when Virgil is over?” 

“Sorry, dad,” Patton grinned, trying to will the redness out of his face. “I didn’t know Virgil was coming over.” 

Patton’s dad nodded and left, leaving the door open behind him. 

“Maybe I should leave,” Virgil murmured, still studying his shoes. 

“No, stay! Please!” Patton begged, taking Virgil’s hands in his own. “I’ll get you a plate of food. Did you have dinner?” 

“Uh, yeah, we had dinner at my grandma’s.” 

“Good dinner?” 

“Not really.” 

“So, food?” Patton pulled his best puppy-dog eyes that were garnered to make Virgil cave every time. 

“…yeah, sure. I mean, if you’re sure it’s okay.” 

“Absolutely!” Patton assured him quickly. “Dad wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t okay, he’s very direct!” 

“Okay.” 

Patton grinned and grabbed Virgil’s gift in one hand, and his hand in the other and dragged him across the hall and down the stairs. 

“Oh, Virgil, I must have missed when you entered through our door like a normal person instead of through the upstairs window like an oversized racoon,” Janus Sanders drawled as they passed where he was busy wrapping the twins’ presents from Santa at the dining room table. 

“Uh, hi, Mr. Sanders,” Virgil waved awkwardly before scurrying off towards the kitchen behind Patton. 

“Make sure you get your food out of the fridge instead of the trash can!” Pop called after him. 

“Take a gander at this,” Patton declared as he pulled several tubberware out of the fridge, including one that was full of goose. “Peas pick out whatever you’d cheese!” 

The puns had the desired effect of taking Virgil’s mind off of Patton’s dads, and he allowed Patton to load up a plate to put in the microwave. 

Patton’s pop had moved on gifts for Patton’s cousins by the time the couple returned to the dining room. A brief look of surprise passed over Pop’s face when he noticed how much food was on Virgil’s plate, but he went back to his wrapping without comment. At least until Virgil was over halfway through his meal. 

“So Virgil,” he started, still turned towards his work but stealing sneaky glances at Virgil from the corner of his eye. “Are you doing anything special tomorrow?” 

“Not really,” Virgil shrugged, more comfortable now with his stomach half full and Patton’s hand resting on his back. “We had dinner with my extended family today, and tomorrow my dad’s gonna spend the day with his girlfriend and her family, so I kinda get the house to myself.” 

“He’s not taking you with him?” Patton's dad questioned as he entered the room, having overheard the conversation from the living room. 

“I, uh, wasn’t invited,” Virgil admitted, his shoulders rising defensively. “She doesn’t really want me around her kids. She thinks I’d, um… she thinks I’d be a bad influence.” 

All three Sanderses sat in shocked silence while Virgil’s shoulder continued to climb. 

“Vee!” Patton gasped, nearly knocking Virgil out his chair as he launched himself towards the other boy and wrapped his arms around him protectively. 

“It’s fine!” Virgil assured him quickly, startled by the tears that had sprung up in his boyfriend’s eyes. “I can watch Nightmare Before Christmas and, uh, Diehard, or something.” 

He startled when a hand landed on his shoulder that wasn’t taken up by a distressed teenager. Looking up, he found Logan Sanders staring down at him with the softest expression that his boyfriend’s dad had ever sent his way. 

“Virgil,” Logan started. “Would you like to stay here tonight, and spend Christmas with us tomorrow?” 

Virgil stared at him, completely floored. 

“Yes!” Patton agreed, gaining some of his pep back. “We have pancakes, and presents, and my cousins are coming over at two, but you can leave before they get here if you’re peopled out, or you could stay and we’ll have ham, and duck, and cinnamon rolls the size of your head, and–!” 

“You’re sure?” Virgil asked quietly. 

“Completely certain,” Pop assured him, pushing his wrapping to the side. “After all, what would Christmas be without our favorite racoon?” 

“Oh,” Virgil whispered, tears blurring his vision. 

Logan offered his shoulder one last squeeze before pulling back. “I will go prepare the guest room.” 

“Th-thank you!” Virgil called after him. 

“Do you want me to open my gift now, or do you want to wait until tomorrow?” Patton asked as he pulled back from the hug, though he kept Virgil’s hand firmly tucked in his own. 

“Now’s good,” Virgil said. “Unless you want to wait for tomorrow.” 

“Let’s do now,” Patton agreed. “Oh! I’ll go get your gift!” 

And with one last kiss on the cheek, he rushed out of the dining room to grab Virgil’s gift from under the tree. 

Leaving Virgil alone with Patton’s pop. 

“I hope you know that you’re welcome here whenever you need,” Pop said seriously. “And you’re free to take anything from the fridge that you want.” 

“R-really?” Virgil asked. “But I thought you hated me?” 

“You make Patton very happy,” Janus shrugged. “How could we hate you for that? Although, I could do without worrying that you’ll break your neck climbing up the tree every time you want to come inside. And your hair dye is horribly uneven, I’m going to have to insist you allow me to do it for you next time.” 

“Really? You know how to dye hair?” 

“Of course I do, I used to dye Logan’s all the time,” Pop chuckled as Patton returned with a messily wrapped present in his hands. 

“I can’t imagine Logan with dyed hair,” Virgil mused. It just didn’t add up with his very put-together demeanor. 

“Remind me tomorrow to show you pictures of Logan from his ‘scene girl’ phase. Anyway, as I seem to be done here, at least until a certain jolly elf makes his appearance later, I’m going to head up to bed. Goodnight, puffball,” Pop placed a kiss on Patton’s curls. “Goodnight, Virgil.” 

“‘Night Pop!” 

“Goodnight, sir.” 

“Please,” Patton’s pop insisted. “Call me Janus, or Pop, or Mama, as that one seems to be sticking around.” 

“Goodnight, Janus,” Virgil corrected himself hesitantly. Janus offered him a warm smile before heading up the stairs. 

“See,” Patton said once they were alone. “They don’t hate you.” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Virgil admitted, a tiny smile gracing his face. Patton beamed. 

“Okay, here’s your gift! Do you want to take turns, or open at the same time?” 

“Open at the same time,” Virgil decided. 

“Okay, in three, two, one!” 

The sound of ripping paper filled the air as they both tore into their gifts. Virgil tore the paper off to reveal a pair of noise canceling headphones to replace the ones he had which only played music out of one side. Patton tore the spelling test off to reveal a small, nondescript box. 

“It’s, uh, it’s not as nice as your gift,” Virgil admitted guiltily. He’d been feeling pretty good about the gift when he’d climbed in Patton’s window earlier, but now… 

It was kinda pathetic compared to the headphones. 

Patton took the lid off the box to find a slightly misshapen, translucent blue heart. 

“It’s just a piece of sea glass I found the other day. It made me think of you. I know it’s totally lame, but I didn’t have enough money to buy you anything nice and I thought that–” 

“I love it,” Patton whispered, transfixed by the glass. “I love it, Virge!” 

“You do?” 

“It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” Patton told him honestly. That Virgil had seen the sea glass and thought of him! Nothing could come close to beating that. 

“G-good. I’m glad you like it,” Virgil smiled. “I love the headphones; I’ll use them all the time.” 

“I know, sweetie.” Patton leaned over to place a chaste kiss on Virgil’s lips. 

The chaste kiss was followed by a less than chaste kiss. Which was followed by another, and then another. 

The two once again jumped apart when Logan cleared his throat. 

“The guest room is made up,” he informed them. “Now, you’re both going to need to go to bed if you expect a visit from an eighteen-hundred-year-old man tonight.” 

“Goodnight, Dad!” Patton grinned, hugging his dad tightly. 

“Goodnight, Patton. Goodnight, Virgil.” 

“Goodnight, Logan.” 

Logan smiled at him as Patton dragged him upstairs and showed him to the guest room. They kissed again at the top of the stairs, but Pop’s pointed cough discouraged them from lingering too long in each other’s company. 

“Goodnight, Virgil. Merry Christmas!” 

“Merry Christmas, Patton,” Virgil smiled. 

Patton went to bed with a light heart as he thought about how much happier Virgil was than when he’d first crawled through Patton’s window. 

A window which he had accidentally left open, allowing freezing air to fill his room. 

He closed the window and made sure to change into his warmest pajamas. Then, he reverently placed the sea glass heart on his shelf next to the leaf Remus had given him when the twins first joined the Sanders family, and the bottle cap given to him by his birth mother before she passed away. His greatest treasures.

~~~END~~~

From the fanfic author who brought you divorced Loceit, I bring you Awesome Power Couple and Loving Dads Loceit 💙💛

I think this one is my favorite of my Moxiety Week fics

General taglist:

@royalty-of-all-things-snuggly @pixelated-pineapple @arsonic-knight @misunderstood-shadowling

[kaaytea]

How about being the manager of Inarizaki, Nekoma, Seijoh and Shiratorizawa and how the boys would feel when they finally finally get a manager? :0

New Manager

⤷Includes: Nekoma, Inarizaki, Seijoh, Shiratorizawa

A/n: I haven't written for the HQ boys in a hot minute so I was sUper hyped for this! Thank you for the request, dear 💕

----------------------------------------------------------

Nekoma

Nekoma has been manager-less for so long that literally the entire team was dumbfounded when they spotted you chilling next to Nekomata

Like hello??? Who are you and what are you doing in their gym???

There's a good few seconds of silence when Nekomata introduces you

Despite being cats, they greatly resembled their Fukurodani rivals as they blinked back at you with big curious eyes

That is until Yamamoto slumps to his knees and starts tearing up, blabbering on about how they've been blessed with a manager while a quiet Fukunaga pats his back in an almost humouring manner

Yamamoto's out burst is what loosens up the team and they start making their way to introduce themselves to you

The first is Kuroo, who approaches you with a welcoming smirk which was quickly followed by a gentle smile from Kai and a reassuring pat on the back from Yaku

The first years are VERY eager to meet you! Lev and Inouka are bouncing around you spewing out questions to the point where Yaku has to kick them both and send them off to warm up

Sweet Shibayama very nervously bows at you and thanks you for taking care of the team (what a baby 🤧💕)

The entire team absolutely loves you by the end of your first day (yes even the aloof creature that is Kenma, though he'll never admit it)

Nekoma's inner team dynamic is very familial and you're immediately sucked into the little family vibes they got going on

The first years love to be around you! (Specifically Lev bc you're not as mean to him as everyone else)

The first years are always volunteering to help you carry equipment or water bottles

You once caught one of the jokes Fukunaga muttered during practice so now the two of you bounce little puns and jokes off of eachother to see who can get the other to laugh first (he is currently winning. although, you got him to tear up from laughing so hard once which you've been counting as 10 wins)

The third years tend to mother hen you a bit, specifically Yaku and Kuroo

Kuroo made it very clear to you that you're apart of the team even if you don't play on the court, so as captain it's his job to make sure all his players are ok (mentally, physically, socially, you name it! He's always looking out for you and is basically your big brother)

You and Yaku bond over the fact that you're both the unofficial team moms. The two of you are very organized and have a whole ass check list that you BOTH go over at least twice before the team leaves for a game or training camp

Kai is like your calm in the storm that is Nekoma. The two of you have had numerous conversations about anything from books to cafés and he's always willing to lend an ear if you need to rant

Kenma is a fairly distant person but he warms up to you when he notices how caring you are. He even let's you play his DS on the train rides to and from Nekoma

Inarizaki

You're a brave soul if you are willingly becoming the manager of Inarizaki

Kita is actually the one who asked if you wanted to be the teams manager

He saw you cleaning the board in a classroom during lunch break and was impressed by how well of a job you did

It doesn't matter if you said yes out of fear from Kita's blank stare or because you were genuinely interested bc now you're standing in the volleyball gym, clad in Inarizaki's signature maroon tracksuit

The team notices you instantly, particularly a certain blonde Miya

Before Kita even got a chance to introduce you to everyone, Atsumu had wandered over to you with a lazy smile tugging at his lips

Atsumu introduced himself and then started asking what you were doing here

"Are ya lost?" "Ya here to admire me?" "Ya dating one of the players?"

You didn't get a chance to answer his questions as Osamu lovingly threw a Volleyball at Atsumu, cutting off any moment you had to respond

The only problem was that Atsumu noticed the volleyball rOcketing towards him and scrambled out of the way like a startled cat, leaving the ball to hit you instead of its intended target

The silence that hung over the gym was deafening as the younger team members watched Kita and Aran rush over to assist your now bloody nose

Just as quick as it had started, the silence was broken by Atsumu yelling at his brother for hitting a helpless person in the face and the gym quickly descended into madness

Aran held a towel to your nose and gave you a few encouraging pats on the back as the both of you watched Kita chew out the twins (safe to say Kita was hard on them during practice)

Osamu approached you during a water break to apologize and, to the surprise of the entire team, gave you the extra pudding he had as a peace offering

Since that incident Osamu and Atsumu stopped throwing volleyballs at each other's heads (at least when you were around that is)

The team is also surprisingly protective of you

The glares people get at tournaments if they try to flirt with you are terrifying

You become pretty close with Suna as the both of you tend to sit back and watch Atsumu and Osamu fight (you tried to step in once but they literally only respond to Kita so it didn't do much)

Suna also pats you on the head whenever he passes you

(it's something he does to his little sister to show some form of affection/appreciation and now he does it to you for the very same reasons)

This goes with out saying, but the twins love you

Osamu still feels bad about the whole hitting you in the face thing so he always shares any snacks he's got on him with you

Atsumu truly just likes being babied by you

Any ounce of praise or happy smiles directed at him has him acting like a puppy

(does 'Tsumu have a tiny crush on you? Yep he totally does!)

Kita and Aran are absolute sweethearts!! They are both very grateful for all the work you put in and treat you to boba every other week as a thank you :))

Seijoh

It was a new school year and you decided to push yourself out of your comfort zone a bit

What better way to do that then be a manager for a sports team!

Apparently one of your classmates let it slip that you were looking to be a manager for a sports team because you were approached by a very buff and very attractive guy a few days after asking if you'd be interested in helping the volleyball team

You happily agreed to do a trial day that afternoon, to which the player, who you now know as Iwaizumi-san, breathed a sigh of relief and said he'd pick you up after school to take you to the gym

So the school day is over, Iwaizumi meets you outside your classroom and you're off!

As you walk to the gym he fills you in on some of the tasks the manager would have to do

The job didn't sound that terrible so you were a bit confused as to why Iwaizumi was having such a hard time finding a manager

"Let's just say that the applicants were more interested in staring at our captain than the actual job." He had told you

Ok so first unofficial rule....don't stare at the Seijoh volleyball team's captain? A bit odd but who were you to judge, maybe the guy was shy and didn't like attention

Your thoughts were cut off by the crisp slap! Of a ball hitting the floor followed by a few short yells from the players littered across the court

Your attention was then caught by the sensation of someone draping their arm over your shoulders and a tangy apple smell invading your senses

"Oh? I didn't know you were dating someone, Iwa-chan~"

Iwaizumi shoved the brunette off of you and quickly explained that you were just here to test out being the manager for the day

The player's eyes lit up and he turned to you with a bubbly smile, introducing himself as Seijoh's captain, Oikawa Tooru

Ah, Captain.... Now you knew why they were having trouble finding someone who didn't stare

Your first day went fairly smooth, just a few blunders that were quickly forgotten by the team after Oikawa cheerfully told you: "Everyone has to start somewhere, (y/n)-chan!"

After the first week you had to admit that the Aoba Johsai volleyball team were quickly becoming some of your best friends, you all fit together like a dysfunctional family

Makki, Mattsun, and Iwa would always agree/praise you when you joined in one the daily Oikawa roast session

Oikawa (when he wasn't pouting about how "mean" you are to him) was fairly sweet to you

He spent the first month helping you learn the rules about volleyball and explaining the lingo the team often used during plays

Although, he does jokingly flirt with you about 40 thousand times a week so...

Kindaichi is a nervous wreak around you the first few weeks. Eventually his nervous demeanor melts away. Now he goes to you whenever he needs someone to toss the ball up for him so he can practice his spikes

Kunimi likes you simply because you let him get away with napping during water breaks

Kyotani acts like you annoy him but if anyone made you cry or hurt you in some way he would burn the entire gym down in a heartbeat

Did I mention that Seijoh are also very protective of you?

When at tournaments they travel in a small pack with you in the middle to reduce the chances of you getting hit on

Shiratorizawa

Shiratorizawa is a very nice and prestigious school so you thought why not participate in an extracurricular that would be beneficial for, not only your resume, but you yourself as well!

Out of all the clubs you chose volleyball which you're starting to regret a bit since one of your friends informed you that the team is a powerhouse school

Which means you can't make a bad impression or silly mistakes.....at all

That entire philosophy is thrown oUt the window on your second day as the official manager

You somehow managed to trip over your own feet and slam into a cart full of spare balls AND spill the water bottles you were carrying all over yourself

You were hoping that the team, by some miraculous reason, didn't notice but the stifled giggles from a certain red head said otherwise

You would give anything for the ground to just swallow you up and disappear forever

But then you saw a pair of gym shoes standing in front of you and when you looked up you were met with THE Ushijima Wakatoshi, captain and ace of shiratorizawa, offering you help to stand up

You hadn't seen Ushijima be more than a stoic and intimidating guy so you were even more surprised when he gave one of his spare shirts to change into now that you had spilt water on yourself

I guess you could say your little clumsy episode was what broke the ice for you and the team

Tendou loves talking with you

You're an interesting person to him and he finds great pleasure in teasing you (in his own words it's "out of love")

Ushijima ended up not being as intimidating as you originally pegged him to be. Instead, he was just a quiet guy who surprisingly could say some pretty funny things (whether or not he intended it to be funny)

Goshiki just loves you. Period.

You praise him and give him head pats so he couldn't be happier!

Tendou and Shirabu tease him all the time about how he has a case of puppy love for you (which Goshiki aggRessively denies no matter how red his face is)

Semi is someone who is grateful for your assistance with the team and does his very best to get Tendou out of your hair when you're trying to do your manager work. He also shares his headphones with you on long bus rides so you can listen to music together!

[joviewinchester]

Part 2 to the supernatural MBAV crossover ✌️ Also this is on crack so I’m sorry in advance. Lol.

“Oh my gosh, Jack! We’ve been living here for two weeks! Do you know what that means?! We actually live here.” Y/N said excitedly.

“Yeah. I like it here I hope we stay awhile.”

“I have a boyfriend now! Do you know how cool that is?”

“You what?!” Dean exclaimed.

“Don’t eavesdrop! It’s none of your concern.”

“Yes it is. I’m your dad!”

“Moms handle the boys and the periods, and she promised me she’d visit sometime this week, so therefore, it’s none of your concern.”

“Since when have you had contact with Amara?”

“Since like a month ago. Uncle Chuck taught her about the world of cellphones. She promised she’d drop by for at least an hour. You don’t think she’s going to flake on me do you?” Tears welled up in her eyes. Dean held his arms out for a hug.

“Hey, come here, kid. Your mom has done a lot of bad things, but if there’s one thing I know for sure about her, it’s that she never says something unless she means it. Now about the boyfriend thing…”

“His name is Benny, he likes Star Wars, and he’s a calculus nerd. Good enough?”

“Come on Dean. Calculus nerd? You have nothing to worry about.” Sam chimed in.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Sammy.”

“Does that mean that me and Jack can go hang out with him and our other friends tonight?” Y/N asked hopefully, putting on the puppy eyes she had inherited from her uncle.

“Fine, but don’t be out any later than 1 am okay?”

“Got it. Would you be mad if we left right now?”

“No. It’s fine. Go ahead, but Jack she is not to be left in a room alone with this punk. Got it? Good.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Drama queen.” She muttered.

“I heard that!”

“Good!”

All of their friends had already arrived by the time they got there. The only thing missing was pizza.

“Dude the delivery guy was so slow last time though. Someone should just go get it. I’m starving.” Ethan complained.

“Not it.” Y/N and Erica said at the same time. Benny and Jack both looked at Sarah.

“Um…don’t look at me. I’m babysitting.” She gestured to Jane who was sitting peacefully watching Dusk.

“I’ll go.” Jack volunteered. Y/N tossed him the keys to the Jeep.

“Don’t wreck my baby.” She said sternly, laying on the floor beside Jane.

“Careful. You sound like your dad.” Jack joked. Y/N threw a pillow at him.

“Okay. Okay. I’m going.”

“So this Dusk thing, what is it even about?” Y/N asked. Erica immediately jumped in.

“Oh my god. It is so good. You’ve never seen Dusk? It’s about a human who falls in love with a vampire and vice versa, but there’s also this werewolf that’s in love with the girl, but she ends up choosing the vampire because, duh, she’s in love with him, but anyways it’s so good and you have to watch all of them with me some time.”

“I’ve seen the Vampire Diaries but I’ve never watched this.”

“Oh my God. Don’t you just love the Salvatore brothers?”

“I love Damon, but I’m not huge on Stefan. Oh and Katherine is so hot, but my favorites are Kol and Kai.”

“You have a thing for murderers with sociopath tendencies and you’re dating Benny?” Erica asked.

“Okay, just leave me alone. Kai is hot and he had reason to murder his entire family.” Literally the entire room was just looking back and forth between them in confusion.

“Remind me to never leave you two alone.” Sarah said.

“Did you just say murdered his entire family casually in a sentence?” Benny asked.

“Yes. If you guys watched the show you would totally get it. Although Jack doesn’t and I made him watch it but then again his biological dad is literally satan-“

“Wait. Wait. Wait. First of all, Castiel isn’t his biological dad? Second of all what is his biological father a serial killer or something?” Ethan asked.

That was when Y/N registered what she had said. “It’s not my place to tell you guys about his biological dad, so like please don’t tell him I told you anything.”

Everyone agreed and dropped it. Soon after Jack came back with the pizza. “Who’s hungry?”

“I am.” Erica whispered passive aggressively under her breath. Sarah elbowed her and gave her a look, mouthing the words shut up.

Benny, Ethan, Jack, and Jane all grabbed a slice.

“Want one?” Benny asked.

“No I’m fine. Thanks though.” Y/N said. Her mood had noticeably dropped, and it was because she was thinking of her mother. What if she didn’t come like she’d promised? Well, at least her cousin Gabriel promised a visit soon, despite her father’s protest.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Sarah asked her.

“It’s stupid. My mom told me that she was going to visit me sometime this week, but I’m worried she won’t show up.” At that very moment Amara appeared in the room. Now there was a lot of explaining to be done.

“Holy shit! Who are you and how did you do that?!” Ethan exclaimed.

“Wow. Gorgeous alert.” Erica said, ignoring the fact that a woman she didn’t know had just appeared out of nowhere. Y/N immediately jumped up and hugged her.

“I missed you, mom.” She muttered into her hair.

“Mom?!” They all asked at once.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. So what are you then?” Benny asked.

“Why are you guys not very freaked out about this?” Jack asked.

“We know about the supernatural, but nothing like this.” Ethan said still in shock.

“So, you made friends? I’m proud of you. How’s your dad doing?” Amara said.

“Same old. Same old. Sad, confused, protective.”

“Wait how do you guys know about the supernatural?” Jack asked ignoring the side conversation.

“That depends. How do you feel about vampires, warlocks, and seers?” Benny asked.

“Wait! You’re vampires?!” Y/N exclaimed suddenly.

“Not all of us. Just Erica and Sarah.” Ethan said.

“You guys haven’t even the ones killing people have you, because that would suck because then I’d have to kill you.”

“No, but really?! Kill us?!” Sarah exclaimed.

“My family hunts the supernatural! You guys have got to stay on the downlow or my dad and my uncle will straight up kill you and not think twice, please be careful!”

“Are warlocks on that list?” Benny asked.

“Wait, you’re a waflock and you didn’t tell me?!”

“We still don’t know what you two are and I think I speak for everyone when I say I would like to know!”

Y/N sighed. This would be a long conversation. She took in a deep breath. “So, my dad is the vessel of the archangel Michael aka the person Michael needed to possess to win the apocalypse which already happened by the way. My dad kind of saved the world. My Uncle Sam on the other hand is the vessel of Lucifer who is Jack’s biological dad which makes Jack a nephilim, and by the way Lucifer is actually pretty chill. But that’s beside the point. This is Amara my mom aka the darkness aka god’s sister which kind of makes me a Demigod which makes god aka Chuck my uncle and Lucifer, Michael and Gabriel my cousins which makes Jack my second cousin and also by the way Castiel is an angel too. Oh and also my dad is kind of gay for Cas but neither of them will admit but you know, subtext.”

They all looked at her with wide eyes. “If you plan on sticking with me welcome to my dysfunctional family.” She announced.

“Are they okay?” Amara whispered.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Y/N whispered back.

“Ya know what? Cool. Also can we just talk about how Y/N has hot parents? MILF alert. Like it finally makes sense why she is so pretty.” Erica said casually.

“What’s a MILF?” Amara asked her. Y/N face palmed.

“It’s good. It’s a compliment, but don’t say it to anyone , ever.” Y/N tried to explain.

“Anyways…I guess I’m gonna go and let you all process this interaction. Benny, call me. Bye!” They all left, and Y/N insisted that they take the Jeep and not just teleport.

When they got back to the house everyone kind of just looked at each other awkwardly. “Mom and I are gonna go…what do normal teenage girls do with their non supernatural mothers? Paint their nails? We’ll go do that. See you soon.”

Dean looked at Jack waiting for an explanation. “I’ve got…homework. Yeah. Anyways bye.”

“What just happened?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lesson 17

Series Masterlist

So, the aftermath’s here! This took significantly longer than I thought it would, but oh well. Enjoy everyone!

So, to recap where everyone’s favourite dysfunctional demon family are at right now: Belphie’s still guilt spiralling but he wants to make amends, MC is having a self worth crisis because of what happened, Lucifer was homicidal less than a day ago, and the rest of the brothers are very mad at Belphie.

So, a good little while passes, MC moves back into their room and doesn’t really come out or try to talk to anyone, Lucifer practically lives in his study, and Belphie holes himself up in whichever room that no one else is in.

Keep in mind, no one knows the truth about Lilith’s death yet because it never came up because MC isn’t a descendent of the human version of Lilith.

The brothers (sans Belphie) went and visited MC, who was very happy to see all of them, but everything felt kind of off, everyone was slightly on edge. But nobody brought it up because no one wanted to be the catalyst for the next big family fight, especially so soon after MC got hurt.

It had been almost a week and MC could barely cobble together the desire to leave their room. They had made themselves a prisoner in their own house right after freeing Belphie from his house arrest, how ironic is that?

Stupid…

How naive could they get? To think that just because they were family that everyone would welcome them with open arms? And how stupid would they have to be to believe that they were a proper demon like the rest of them? Demons were manipulative tricksters at their nicest, if MC didn’t understand that than they were a shit excuse for a demon.

Spending time lying in bed staring up at the ceiling wasn’t the best way to pass the time, but MC had grown tired of flicking through the same five apps on their DDD and had contemplated chucking it at the wall. With nothing to distract them, MC was alone with their thoughts.

Of course they couldn’t fend off Belphegor, of course they lost… they barely had any better a hold on their magic than they did when the year started. They weren’t a full demon, but they weren’t some weak little human either, but maybe things would have been better if they were human. If they were human, they wouldn’t have had magic, they wouldn’t have had a fighting chance at all. There would have been no shame in losing. But MC wasn’t a full human, they had their fighting chance and lost anyway.

“MC?”

Their head snapped towards the source of the voice. Through a bright gold glow, they saw an unfamiliar woman, her eyebrows were knit with concern. Not being able to muster up the energy to really be openly panicked, MC sat up and rested their head on their chin, then raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“Oh! Um…” the ghostly woman puffed out her cheek and twiddled her fingers as her eyes darted around the room. “I didn’t exactly think this introduction through, my bad…”

It was MC’s turn to be confused, standing in front of her was a woman who didn’t look like an angel or a demon, yet somehow was able to cobble together the magical strength necessary to actually make herself visible to MC. And now, she was stressing about an awkward introduction.

“I’m Lilith!” The woman finally blurted out, she clamped her eyes shut and quickly stuck her hand out.

MC blinked at the outstretched hand like it was a completely foreign gesture. “…what?”

“Yeah! Um… I uh…” Lilith withdrew her hand and facepalmed. “I’m really sorry…”

“I-uh… Lilith? Like… Lilith, my father’s sister Lilith?”

“…yes?”

“…please explain.”

And Lilith did explain, she explained the ghost bit, how she can’t technically go up to the Celestial Realm nor does she want to, and how she’s kind of been playing guardian Fallen Angel to the entire family.

MC finally got to learn the reason the Grimoire was in the tomb, and why their father was so damn loyal to Diavolo.

Lilith also explains that she’s kind of the reason MC is down in the Devildom in the first place. Lucifer picked an entirely different totally normal human, but Lilith switched the files and MC was brought down instead.

MC still obviously had questions.

“So…” MC mumbled. “That’s why he tried to kill me.”

Lilith pursed her lips and looked away. “Yeah…”

MC let out an explosive sigh as their hand unconsciously creeped to their neck. MC’s fingers brushed over raised skin from barely healed over scratches.

“He wants to apologize.”

“What?”

“Belphie, he wants to apologize to you.”

MC snorted and rolled their eyes, they shifted over so Lilith couldn’t see their face. “Hmph… maybe if he grovels enough I won’t sic Cerberus on him…”

“You’re under no obligation to forgive him-”

“I know!” MC snapped, grinding the base of their palm against their eye to stop the tears that threatened to burst. “And I won’t!”

The problem was, Lilith’s story actually ended up making MC feel bad for him, which made them feel angry at themselves, which made them feel more upset than before.

On one hand, Belphie was motivated by the loss of someone incredibly close to him and never received closure because Lucifer kept Lilith’s “survival” a secret.

On the other hand, Belphie tricked, manipulated, and then tried to kill MC. That couldn’t just be waved off with an “oh he was just grieving”

After some deliberation, MC decided they were going to do one more thing to help Belphie.

“Father.” MC hit their knuckles against the door to their father’s room. The door opened almost immediately and Lucifer stood in the doorway.

“Yes MC? Do you need anything, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just need to talk to you.”

“Come in then,” Lucifer stepped aside and MC walked into the room, he closed the door behind them. “What is it?”

“I know about what happened with Lilith.”

Lucifer froze, MC did their best to hold his gaze and not waver.

“You need to tell everyone.”

“…how did you find out?”

“She um… told me. Lilith, I mean… she’s still around.” MC awkwardly twirled their finger in the air as they explained. “You’ve kept this hidden for too long, the secret has to be told so this can end.”

Lucifer wasn’t on board immediately, but eventually, he was convinced.

Everyone was gathered, including Belphie, and Lucifer explained what had really happened the day Lilith had died.

Of course there were shouts of shock and outrage that slowly melted into a melancholy silence. Lilith was still around, but her presence was so limited, but she was still there with them! Their sister was still there!

When everyone dispersed to go process the news, Belphie approached MC.

“H-hey.”

MC almost outwardly shuddered at the sound of the Avatar of Sloth’s voice, but they held firm and turned to face him.

Anything they wanted to say died in their throat as MC got a good look at Belphie for the first time in over a week. He looked like complete and utter garbage. His hair was a mess, bags lined the underside of his eyes, and his entire posture seemed to just droop like a wilting flower. Though, it wasn’t like MC had much of a platform to stand on when it came to critiquing appearance at that point in time, they looked just as awful.

“What do you want?” MC asked quietly, they had meant to put more force behind their words, but most if not all of their focus had gone towards not allowing their voice to break or waver.

“To apologize.”

So, Lilith was right, he was sorry. Rage bubbled in MC’s gut as they clenched their fist. How dare he think he could just, apologize and think everything could turn out okay?! MC opened their mouth to scream, cry, hurl every insult they had spent the previous week thinking about, but nothing came out. The anger subsided and MC deflated, they crossed their arms and gestured for Belphie to go ahead.

“Go on.” They mumbled.

Belphie’s gaze drifted to the wall, he clenched his pillow tighter to his chest, then looked back to MC. At least he had the decency to look them in the eye.

“I’m sorry for what I did, MC. I messed up and I hurt you. I blamed you for something you had nothing to do with, even though you were nothing but nice to me. No excuse would make what I did any better, so I’m… I’m sorry…”

MC gnawed on their lower lip and knitted their eyebrows. He sounded sincere enough, but MC wasn’t just going to roll over and forgive him just like that. They were still so angry and betrayed, but they didn’t want to be. Stupid feelings…

They took a deep breath and squared their shoulders, looking Belphie directly in the eyes.

“Okay.”

“…okay?”

“Okay.” MC repeated. “I’m not going to forgive you just to absolve your guilt, but I’m done with this. It’s over and I’m moving on. If you’re really sorry, don’t ever do something like that again.”

The tiniest glimmer of hope sparkled in Belphie’s eyes as he nodded. “I swear on my life I’ll never do anything like that again.”

MC stiffly nodded. “Good. Now, I’m going to my room. I have school tomorrow.”

When Belphie turned to go back to his room, Lucifer melted out of the shadows and stood next to MC.

“That was very big of you.”

“Thanks father.” MC mumbled.

“Are you sure you want to go to school tomorrow? I can ask Lord Diavolo to extend your time off.”

“No,” MC shook their head. “I’m ready. Besides,” They stifled a giggle. “I don’t want to miss everyone’s reactions to Human History.”

Wanting to watch demons freak out about weird parts of human history is a very valid reason to want to go to school.

Anyway, all eight residents of the HOL goes back to school, and MC’s cover story was that they had gotten the flu and was too sick to go to school, and Belphie had been brought back from the human world early. No one had the balls to question the seven rulers of hell, so no one asked any questions.

Luke was very excited to see his friend again, so excited that he got in trouble for talking in class. No big deal, lunchtime was still free for them to talk!

The day was perfectly normal, which was a blessing for everyone.

Diavolo officially deemed that Belphie was no longer a threat to the exchange program, so Belphie was allowed to return to his student council duties without issue.

Things between Diavolo and Barbatos and MC were quite… confusing.

For one thing, Diavolo was the crown prince and MC had really liked him before the stuff in the previous timeline and learning about exactly how he had secured their father’s loyalty.

And for Barbatos… he was just fucking terrifying.

“MC!”

The sound of Diavolo jovially calling their name jolted MC out of their thoughts. Thinking about the upcoming Demonology midterm would have to wait.

“Hello, Lord Diavolo.” MC knew better than to be openly pissed at the soon to be monarch, especially after everything that had transpired.

“Are you doing alright, MC? How has school been treating you?” Diavolo continued to pepper MC with questions with barely any gaps for MC to actually reply. Barbatos stood on the sidelines with a soft neutral smile on his face, which only served to unnerve MC more.

“I’m doing fine, Lord Diavolo. There’s no need for concern.”

Diavolo’s rampant questioning came to a stop, and MC swore they could see his expression fall ever so slightly.

“I’m glad to hear that, MC. If you need anything, just ask!”

He ended the interaction with a hesitant pat on MC’s head before walking off to his next class. Though, the presence of the butler still loomed behind MC.

“While I’m very glad you’re well, MC,” Barbatos said icily calm. “I must ask that you refrain from going into my room again.”

“Y-yes sir.” MC mumbled.

“Have a lovely day.”

Reason why everyone should be at least a little afraid of Barbatos #473

The relationship between MC and the Royals does end up getting repaired eventually, it’s just… really awkward for the time being.

Home was still awkward as all hell, the murder attempt definitely weakened the brotherly bonds MC had spent months repairing, and the hostility wasn’t doing MC’s emotional recovery much good.

“This is ridiculous.” Lilith’s voice popped into MC’s head while they sat at the dining table finishing up their homework. MC jumped slightly in their seat and frantically looked around for their aunt’s apparition.

“What’s got you spooked?” Satan asked from his place across the table.

“N-nothing. Just a chill.” MC quickly replied, trying to go back to their work.

“Nice recovery, MC. Very smooth.”

“Shut up!” MC thought. “What are you doing in my head?”

“If you want me to leave, just say so.” Lilith’s nasally childlike huff nearly caused MC to openly roll their eyes.

“No, what is it? What do you need?”

“I don’t really need anything, but look at this fractured house!” Lilith cried. “This is worse than the time Mammon stole everyone’s pocket watches!”

“Pocket…watches?”

“It was 1803, get with the program, MC.”

“Lilith, what are we talking about here?”

“Oh! Right! Well, this house is insanely divided and sucky right now, it’s terrible!” Lilith whined, as much as MC hated to submit to their ghostly aunt’s whining, she did have a point.

Just that morning Asmo just happened to neglect to paint Belphie’s nails when he went out of his way just minutes earlier to track down Lucifer to make sure his nails were painted. Later when Belphie walked into the library with Beel, Satan ended up picking up the cat and walking straight out. Satan walking out of a library was like a fish walking out of water.

That wasn’t the only thing either, Mammon had taken it upon himself to be a human (or demon to be more precise) barrier between Belphie and MC at almost all times. The only times when Mammon couldn’t do that was when the witches decided to summon him.

Levi continued to be a recluse, but on the rare occasion he did come out, there was no friendly hellos between him and Belphie.

Lucifer… well, he did a good job hiding his contempt. He had respected MC’s decision to let Belphie try and fix things and he himself seemed eager for everything to be fixed, but he wasn’t exactly aiding in the repairs. Every time he had to look at Belphie it was so expressionless that MC swore that Mammon could swipe someone’s wallet right in front of him and Lucifer wouldn’t even frown.

Even Beel, he bounced back the quickest in terms of being ready to be around Belphie again, but the even psychically linked twins couldn’t fully shake the feeling of distance between the two.

“Well, what do you want me to do? Last time I tried to fix this family’s problems I almost died.”

“H-hey, I don’t think you should joke about that just yet…”

“Bite me. I wasn’t joking.”

“Well… okay. But I can’t really manifest any power right now! Smacking some sense into Belphie really took a toll on my ability to do much.”

“Hmph…” MC thought long and hard, well, two minutes long. “We could hold a movie night.”

Lilith gasped and MC swore they could hear the sound of her clapping her hands together. “Yes! Everyone can hang out and eat popcorn! Oh it’ll be great! Build a Fort! Forts bring people closer together!”

The movie night was the first of many little get togethers that MC quietly orchestrated to get everyone back on speaking terms with each other. They weren’t a direct part of all of them, but they could see the good they were doing.

A small video game tournament, going out to eat together, just relaxing in the same room, all of it added up, and sooner rather than later everyone was back to… not hating each other.

The brothers are still brothers after all, there’s always that tiny instinct that tells siblings to try and ruin the other’s day

As for Belphie and MC’s relationship…

Things slowly but surely moved back to the way they were before. MC came out of their room to sit with everyone and hang out, everyone progressively let Belphie back into their lives, and the nightmares gradually lessened.

For the first time in a little over a month and a half, MC felt truly safe again, which was odd considering they were in their planetarium with someone who they declared they’d never forgive. They still hadn’t, but things had gotten better.

Belphie was doing his damndest to show that he was truly sorry about everything. It started off with small things; helping MC clean the house, giving them pencils when they didn’t have any, covering for them when they had dinner duty,

The little victories may not have seemed very noteworthy, but to Belphie and MC, they were everything.

“That’s Orion, that’s Orion’s Belt,” Belphie pointed up at the shifting ceiling of the planetarium, tracing each and every constellation that he saw and pointing them out to MC and Beel. The latter had seen these stars and heard Belphie’s explanations a thousand times over, but never tired of them. MC was staring up at the gorgeous sight of the human world night sky they had left behind with a small smile on their face.

“That’s Ursa Major,” Beel pointed up as he offered MC the bag of chips he was eating.

“Mhm,” Belphie quietly chirped, he then pointed to a nearby constellation. “And that’s Ursa Minor.”

“Huh, if you connect these stars, it looks like a pair of pants.” MC piped up, tracing the set of stars.

Belphie snickered and nodded. “Yeah, it kind of does.”

“Look, that one’s a spatula!” Beel pointed at a constellation, Belphie snorted and facepalmed.

“Beel, Buddy, that’s the Little Dipper.”

After a little while longer Belphie let out an explosive yawn and stretched out like a cat. MC and Beel yawned in response.

“I’m goin’ to sleep.”

“Belphie wait,” MC giggled. “You can’t sleep here!”

“Watch me.”

“You’ll get a sore back, Belphie.” Beel picked up Belphie and slung him over his shoulder as the Avatar of sloth began to snore, he then turned and sat MC on his other shoulder. “Bedtime for everyone.”

MC let out another yawn and rubbed their eyes. Maybe Belphie had the right idea, it was late as hell…

——————

Author’s Note: You ever know how you want something to turn out in your head, but the moment you go to write it down you kind of want to yeet yourself into oblivion? Yeah that’s what happened here.

The game itself didn’t give me much to work with in terms of how everyone would react if MC didn’t shrug off their near death, so… 🤷‍♀️ oh well! What’s done is done!

[spinningintheshadows]

Hello and welcome to my masterlist for my 1000 follower celebration! All fics are tagged #Vixxy's 1k Celebration as well. As a reminder, I did not write smut for this event, so these are all fluff and angst. Below the cut, you will find 49 stories based on three song lyric prompt lists I posted. If you would like to see the prompt lists they can be found here, here, and here.

As always, thank you so much for all the support and enjoying my (terrible) writing. I do not deserve 1000 of you guys. I am so grateful each and every one of you. Please enjoy.

(If the fic does not have a link (which at the time of posting this masterlist none of them do) that means that it has not been published yet. Please be patient with me because I do have quite a lot of these to write as well as working on my Austin North fic "Just Friends?" and I am not writing them in any specific order, just what inspires me first.)

25: “I flashback to the night in your parents yard when we drank too much and we talked about God” & 48: “I miss the way you breathe, the way you twitch in your sleep. Your smile, your straight teeth and the scars along on your cheeks” 12: “I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day” 22: “I wanna get back to where we started, to the summer night. You know, you know, you know, you know we got it right” 8: “It’s been a while since I’ve felt butterflies”

1: “If I knew from the start would it change a thing?”

33: “Some days you start singing’ and you don’t need a reason”

18: “Even if I knew you’d be the one that got away, I’d still go back and get you”

8: “It’s been a while since I’ve felt butterflies” & 12: “I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day”

1: “Do you ever get a little bit tired of life”

50: “I don’t mind if you fuck up my life”

47: “I swear to god, I never fall in love”

14: “Honey, I’ve got real bad news”

55: “Made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter”

7: “For a minute, I was stone cold sober”

16: “I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again”

31: “Got me panicking, manic, and I can’t get no sleep”

12: “I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day” & 61: “You say you love me, I know you love me. Love that you love me, baby”

21: “My family is dysfunctional but we have a good time killing each other”

19: “You’ve got so many options, every fish in the sea wants to kiss you”

38: “Here’s to now and nothing else, in the crowd all by yourself. To the hellos and the goodbyes, the lows and every high. In this moment I could die with you.”

28: “How did we end up talking in the first place”

39: “Just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose”

54: “You’re kind of hipster, I grew up on punk rock”

7: “I’m in love with the girl I hate” & 11: “You’re not in love with me”

22: “I fell in love in the back of a cop car”

10: “Things you take for granted when you grow up by the beach”

57: “We’ll talk about how your parents separated and how you don’t want to make the same mistakes as them”

39: “Daddy’s little girl knows how to party”

53: “You ask “When did I first know?” I always knew”

37: “I’d unfuck you if I could”

62: “I lose my voice when I look at you, can’t make a noise though I’m trying to”

73: “Big heads up, that’s a really stupid plan”

46: “And I’ve made mistakes, but you were not one”

15: “I was born but I wasn’t raised”

36: “I bite my tongue so you don’t hear me”

14: “I always hear you in the background laughing, you know I hate it when you’re not around”

69: “Yes my fucking nails are painted, what you think I didn’t know?”

8: “If I said I want your body, would you hold it against me?”

28: “I haven’t slept in days but who’s counting”

25: “All that I know is that I just can’t say no to you, funny how things never change”

36: “I won’t give up on us”

52: “You broke my heart and all I got was this t shirt”

24: “I don’t want to leave this bar until I get your number”

34: “I need a little more luck than a little bit, cause every time I get stuck the words won’t fit”

50: “I don’t mind if you fuck up my life”

20: “All the greats die young, that’s probably why I’m still alive”

41: “If you need me now, I’ll be there somehow”

17: “Five best friends on four bald tires”

59: “Leave your sorrys, grab your car keys.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.───

taglist to spread the word (aka they requested something on this list): @teelagurl558 @wannabestarkeysgirl@strokesofstokes @maybankforlife @mentalpolaroids @milkiane @k-k0129

[nancypullen]

Tick Tock

I’m about 24 hours away from what is hopefully my last appointment concerning that stupid kidney stone.  Tomorrow they’ll take out the stent and then we shall never speak of this again.  The removal has to be done at the surgery center even though it’s not surgery, and the whole thing should take just a couple of minutes.  Since I birthed a doctor, I feel free to ask him about the unknowns and this is what he told me when I asked if it really was that quick - “Oh yeah, they’ll yank that thing out like they’re starting a lawn mower.”  Imagine how comforted I was by that.  At this point, I don’t care - just get it out. But enough about all that gross stuff, how are you?  Are you excited to see the December calendar page? Are you loving seeing the Christmas lights and hearing the holiday music?  I AM!  Tonight is Denton’s Christmas parade, and tomorrow night is the Christkindlmarket. What a great way to start the month!  This time tomorrow I’ll be a lot more comfortable and I’m going to be a wrapping, decorating, Christmas tune singing fool.  

But for today, I’ve got some laundry chugging and dinner is in the crock pot.  For Mickey it’s Mongolian Beef, for me dinner will probably be soup.  I made a big pot of chicken soup on Monday and it hits the spot every time.  I don’t know the science behind it, but my tastes have changed drastically over the last month.  We normally eat pretty clean and healthy, I’d say 85% of the time anyway, but now I don’t even crave the other 15%.  I haven’t had a Diet Coke since Halloween and it doesn’t even sound good to me.  I’ve been addicted to Diet Coke since 1984!  Chocolate? Haven’t touched it.  Crunchy, salty stuff - not even popcorn appeals to me and I rarely went a night without a bowl of popcorn.  You know those people that get hit in the head and wake up speaking Swedish or something crazy like that?  This is my version of that.  All I want is fruit and veggies. My lunch today will be red grapes, cucumbers, and maybe a little yogurt.  If I’m really hungry a cup of soup.  Dinner is the same, or I zap a Healthy Choice frozen meal. There’s a Chicken Marinara that I like.  You’d think that thirty days of eating like this would have caused a change in my appearance.  Nope.  I’ve lost a grand total of four pounds.  I swear, scientists should study me.  Anyone else would have wasted away, my sturdy Scots and German DNA is holding steady.  I can identify with this meme.

I guess I’m built for survival.  Ya’ know what? I’m okay with that.  2023 is the year that I stop worrying about it.  I’m going to enjoy good health, a good life, and my wonderful family and dear friends.  I’m going to put my energy into creating art and being happy. You can do all of those things whether your pants are a size 6 or 16.  It. Just. Doesn’t. Matter.   The majority of magazine articles and television commercials are aimed at women and the overwhelming message is that we are not good enough exactly as we are.  They’re counting on us believing that and throwing all of our money at whatever product promises to improve us.  We’re not allowed to wrinkle, sag, gain weight, or ever dare to look our age. I’ve yet to see any ads targeting men with that message.  Sure, you see some stuff for bald guys, but everything else is for erectile dysfunction.  No one is shaming men for their crow’s feet.   For us, it starts before middle school and follows us to the grave - we’re not pretty enough, thin enough, fill-in-the-blank enough.  I’m calling BS on all of that.  Younger women, thankfully,  figured this out before my generation did. They’re out there loving themselves and living their best lives exactly as they are.  Bravo, ladies!  I’m learning so much from you.  I’ve decided to like myself.  Well, that went off the rails, didn’t it?  I didn’t share even half of what I was thinking once I got on my soapbox. You’re welcome.  I actually intended to come here and post my chicken soup recipe (it really is good).  I’ll have to share that tomorrow.  I’m going to have a little lunch and then sit at my desk and create something pretty.  The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and tomorrow I’ll take my pants off in front of strangers for what I hope is the last time for a very long time.  I may have to enter the Witness Protection Program after this.  Sending out loads of love on this first day of December.  I hope that  your hearts are light and your homes are peaceful. Stay safe, stay well.

Nancy