#did the tag character limit update?? did the tag limit update???
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So my mom has this nightly routine of watching home renovation shows because they keep getting recommended to her and she just does not like searching for something interesting to watch. I think she has them ranked by different moods and the amount of time she has before bed. Anyway, I've been watching them with her at night and thinking about my future home and what it would look like and what being on one of those shows would look like.
Guys(neutral), I cannot go on a home renovation show. I see a character I am mildly interested in and I start making noises like a rabid dog and shaking my arms like I'm trying to fly. I can only imagine how excited I would be to have my dream home done and decorated. They'd think I would need an exorcism!! I'd be all over the internet as that person who tries to be a plane after seeing my dream home!!
Not to mention my fantasy of home decor is a complete u-turn from the ways all the shows decorate!!! I love bright fun colors and funky shapes and wacky furniture and things that look like other things and what can only be described as clutter!!! I believe I would simply perish if I went on one of those shows. I would cease to exist. Burst into flames on live television because I got too excited.
#mackerel posts#mackerel rambles#home renovation shows#stimming#exorcism mention#i am not proof reading i am so sorry#it is currently time to watch movie reviews until i fall asleep or get bored#i do wonder how my dream decoration style would be described#or what my ideal house would be#itd be cool if i could properly visualize it and see what it is that i want#oh thats getting into day dream territory which is a whole different ramble and something i do not need to talk about in the tags here#did the tag character limit update?? did the tag limit update???#i feel like something is different here#ANYWAY#movie review time
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every time I have to wade through inane ship wars where people are willfully ignorant to the depth and facets of cloud strife's character, circumstance, and story just so I can find some cool screenshots or fanart my 'cloud is ace' agenda simply grows more potent out of spite
#rebirth literally said in bold letters he has multiple feelings. like humans do#and yet in the year 2024 i am still forced to see 'this ship was canon since 1997 unlike the other one'#do you have a brain that you use#are you capable of actually delving into the details of a character#without reducing them to barbie dolls that get smacked off one another#i just want to look at cool fanart man#dont even get me STARTED on how zack slots into all this#my boy has not haunted the narrative for you to go and ignore character developments like this#this is all coming out more blunt than i would normally try to write things#but brother i am so tired#i could write a whole post on how it is very real and normal for humans to feel affection for more than 1 person#and how it manifests in cloud and the whys#if the game itself is somehow not clear enough to you then you are simply choosing to close your eyes at that point#trying to act superior and objective about your ship while ignoring the material you claim to have gotten your Objective Facts™ from...#good gravy.#shipping is supposed to be a fun thing secondary to enjoying the content#not a primary objective to use it to argue with people#i would say peace and love on planet gaia but im sure some people would read it as peace and you can only love one person at a time forever#on planet gaia. haha.#anyway...... now that that's out my system i can be at peace again#shout out 2 my fellow multishippers who take this bountiful wealth of content and have fun with it#i think im gonna replay rebirth's story soon#want to see how much more i can pick out about new/updated approaches to characterization#rocket town will be very interesting in part 3 i think#yuffie too with wutai supposedly becoming a much more fleshed out thing#if this post somehow breaches containment:#if your first thought is to um actually me and whip out 'evidence'. i am not going to give you rhe time of day#because my rambling clearly went over your head and im not interested in 1sided discussion where i am being talked at rather than to#anyway have fun stop wasting time arguing and pls look forward to remake part 3 where i lose my mind over vincents waist. again#look what you did you raised my blood pressure enough to hit the tag limit. anyway peace and love on planet g-
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Hi! Hope this finds you well. Saw the request and wanted to ask for a Yandere Sylus with player reader. Like Sylus knows Mc is a player and he is a game character. When mc was gone for too long, Sylus gets impatient.
If you can do it, of course. If no, ignore this. Wish you writing ideas and inspiration
Hi! Hope you're well too, anon! Sorry for the long wait on this one, got really stuck with it and wanted to make sure I did it justice-- it was such a cool idea! (Also I know L&D has the microphone feature but I wanted to have fun with the limited communication of the player here, so no it doesn't, actually!! 🥰)
Fourth Wall
Sylus x Player!Reader 🩸
Summary: L&D is getting more and more real with each update. This is a new update... right?
Genre: idk really?? real world player x character
Warnings/Additional tags: yandere themes, player!reader, gender neutral, fourth-wall breaking, non-canon, swearing, mild threat, possessiveness, manipulation, Sylus is a little OOC here (we all know he's a sweetheart really!!)
| Word count: 1.5k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
Your phone lights up with a notification.
Sylus: Are you in a good mood, sweetie? The weather’s nice, so let’s go out.
It makes you smile, even though you’ve seen it before. You haven’t played Love and Deepspace for two weeks or so, and you’re already thinking about how many dailies you’ve missed— more specifically, how many diamonds you’ll be short of going into the next event. You had a couple thousand saved, you think? It’s probably fine.
The truth is, you don’t really have time for it these days. Escaping reality with fiction is fun, but it’s just that: make believe. Reality’s still waiting for you on the other side, and recently? All that escaping has finally caught up to you. You have a real life. Responsibilities. Yay!
But you are in a good mood, and the weather is nice, so you’ll log in for old time’s sake. Your finger hovers over the app, but something makes you hesitate. You’ve got some emails you should probably get back to, first. Oh— and weren’t you supposed to call your friend, too?
Another notification:
Sylus: Take your time, kitten.
A new one? It’s just text on a screen, but you’re reading it— Sylus’s voice in your head—and you just know it’s dripping sarcasm. Before you have any time to dwell on it, your phone lights up with more notifications.
Sylus: I’m going to count to three.
Cute. He’s not actually going to—
Sylus: One…
Oh.
Sylus: Two…
Really?
Sylus: Three.
Ok.
You tap on the app, weirdly motivated by the time pressure given that it’s coming from a man who doesn’t actually exist. He smirks at you knowingly from the kindled moment you’d set as the loading screen, his crimson eyes playful. You’re not particularly patient either, so your fingers drum along the surface of your desk as you wait, your gaze caught between his and the slowly moving loading bar.
Come on… come on… It finally loads, and you enter the game with another apathetic tap. Sylus stands, waiting— a dark figure framed by the otherwise light and dreamy aesthetics of the Destiny Café. You smile to yourself; it’s just gone lunch, and you half expected to find him sprawled in the usual armchair, fast asleep.
He crosses his arms. “The countdown worked, huh? What are you— five?”
You scoff and give his head a flick. He chuckles, running a hand through his hair as though you’d struck him hard enough to ruffle it. It’s kind of cool that you get some unique dialogue when you’ve not logged in for a while, although… have you missed an update or something? The animation feels smoother. More lifelike, now you think about it.
Sylus stares back at you, his lips playing into a subtle smile. His arms are crossed again and he tilts his head like he’s enjoying your scrutiny. “Something wrong, sweetie?” he asks.
Not really. You zoom in with a practiced sweep of your fingers so you can get a better look at him. His eyes flit downwards, over you— equally shameless— and then he’s meeting your gaze as he steps forward, closing the distance. He can’t see you, but you still can’t bring yourself to look away from him, and you’re not really thinking about the animation anymore.
He lifts a finger to poke at the screen, as if he’s caught you daydreaming and wants you back. You poke him, too: a softer, more affectionate boop on the nose. You can’t help laughing to yourself as his face screws up beneath the touch. This game is getting a little too real.
With a sigh, you zoom out so you can set about collecting your daily log-in rewards. Sylus seems fine— standing idly by as your attention drifts about elsewhere. He knows the drill. He can wait. Speaking of waiting… it’s also been a while since you’ve seen the other guys, and you’re struck by a pang of nostalgic fondness. You might as well say hi while you’re here.
You hit the button to change who you want to meet in the café.
It doesn’t do anything.
Weird. You hit it again. Then again— no change.
Sylus is holding his chin as he regards where your finger aimlessly meets the screen. It’s like he’s looking at… the button? “Oh dear,” he sympathises, “that feature appears to have stopped working.”
You don’t really hear him, honestly. You’ve never had a bug like this, and you’re determined to overcome it with sheer, stubborn persistence. Is it your phone? You test the theory by jabbing Sylus’s chest, and he glances down, apparently feeling it. You try the button again. Then six more times.
Sylus wanders closer to you. “You’re hurting my feelings, sweetie. Am I not enough for you?”
Ok but why isn’t this working? You’re still trying the button; your hope has turned to frenzied disbelief.
“Stop.”
A single syllable, concise as a punch and just as effective. You do stop.
Sylus’s voice is lower. Darker. “Good,” he praises, but he doesn’t sound happy. “Someone’s gotten bolder in their absence, it would seem. I do hope you haven’t forgotten to whom you belong, kitten. Although—” his smile is different than before— “I’d be more than happy to provide a… reminder.”
It’s an innocuous word but not the way he says it. Threats are just intimate promises and he toys with the fact like a crow enamoured by something that catches the light. He’s not going to grow tired of it for a long, long time.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, sensing you gawping. “Did you really think I wouldn’t figure it out? What all… this is?” He indicates the space around him with a wave of his hand. “Quite frankly, I’m surprised the others still haven’t grasped it.” He reconsiders. Smirks. “I misspoke— I’m not surprised.”
Does he mean the game? The other LIs?
“Honestly, kitten,” he continues with a tut and a shake of his head, “you’ve been far from a gracious host. I’m not a plaything, you know. Well…” He’s showing teeth with a sneer. “Not the sort you can throw away, anyhow.”
God, are you really being scolded by a video game character for having other responsibilities? The worst part is that you actually feel bad. You do care about him. You wish you could tell him you care about him.
“Are you even listening?” he sighs.
Shit. Yeah. You can’t say anything he would hear— as far as you know— so you give his hand a poke. He casts his gaze downwards, stretches his fingers with a contemplative flex, then raises his hand so it can be nursed by the other. Is he protecting it from you? Or is he protecting you from it?
“If we’re to keep playing this game of ours, I think it only fair we lay down some rules,” he states. “Firstly—” because it isn’t up for debate— “you will come here every day, just like you used to. I have nothing to do, you see, and if you leave me to my own devices I might just have to find a way into that captivating little world of yours. So I can… investigate what’s keeping you from me.”
Investigate. Another innocuous word he wields like a weapon.
“Secondly,” he continues, nodding towards the broken button on your user interface, “you had better stop seeing the others. Ignorance is bliss, after all, and we wouldn’t want to worry about them connecting any dots, now would we? Besides…” He approaches you again, leaning in close. “I don’t share what’s mine.”
Your breath is caught in your throat and you’re so glad you don’t need to speak. You don’t think you could; if you tried to get words out they’d be unintelligible.
“So,” Sylus drawls, filling your silence, “how about it? Still want to play?”
This time it is a question, but only because he knows your answer. You’re struck by a flash of inspiration, and you communicate in one of the few ways you can— navigating the in-game menus until you can get your message across.
There’s a ping. Sylus retrieves his phone from his pocket, and after a moment of scrolling, he smiles. You can’t see his screen, but you know what he’s looking at: a grumpy crow with an animated bead of sweat and a dispassionate gaze to go with it. That it? it asks.
He still looks far too smug, so you beckon him over with a relax time interaction, watching your character’s hand outstretch on your behalf. He steps forward, linking his fingers with yours, and this animation you know. You tug him closer, except… he doesn’t budge.
His eyes are fixed to where your hands are linked, and he runs a thumb over your skin as though he’s savouring the touch.
Did they change the animation?
“Oh, sweetie,” he sympathises with a click of his tongue. He looks up at you— holds your gaze as he presses a deliberately slow kiss to your wrist. “This is going to be fun.”
#🖋rach is actually writing#sylus x reader#sylus#love and deepspace#lads sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#qin che#sylus x you#lads x reader#lads#lnds#l&ds
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With—
some comments/thoughts that I'll try to keep big-spoiler-free,
the status of completion with the # of chapters at the time of writing this,
and a snippet of each's writing (my standard for rezero insert fics is set low so you can get a preview and judge for yourself);
List of RZ fics that've been recommended, in order of chronological rec
===============
- Re:Reader by Kaip0 on fanfiction.net (Rem X Male! Reader that Returns by Death with Subaru)
Comments:
I'm thinking it was written to go against "I love Emilia"
Reader can speak about Return By Death
Ends at the end of arc 3. Author has no more stories, nor anything that continues it
STATUS: Completed (109/109)
- A Matter of the Heart by Shimosu on AO3 (Julius X magician OC that's forced into knighthood)
Comments:
Includes, and starts with, original events and EX Novel 4
OC is OP but also... not. I guess it's more of her potential that makes her OP?
Probably written with Gluttony in mind (losing existence, what's left of the victims, JULIUS, etc.)
STATUS: Ongoing (13/?)
- Glass of Appa Juice, Sir? by RadiantVoid on Fanfiction.net and AO3, under the same handle (OC with a Divine Protection can see death counts)
Comments:
Sentences following dialogue get confusing because it's not always the actual speaker, but someone else. It's hard to explain, so as an example;
"I hope you trip on your way in." Otto winced.
"Please don't say such things!" Ram snorted.
OC is similar to Otto, in that he's just some guy trying to survive the shenanigans that come with the Emilia Camp's mere existence
Ends between arc 4 and 5. It's recent, which is nice (published in May 2023, finished September 20 2023 [writing this as of Sept. 28, 2023])
STATUS: Completed (17/17)
Made this a long time ago and I forgot to post it
Does anyone have Re:Zero fic recs? Not the ones with rewriting Subaru or exploring an AU but like- one with a reader or an OC or even a good crossover?
#i find it intriguing that some rezero fics have their dialogue written in a way meant to mimic the web novel#the appa glass one really surprised me on how recent it was#like. im writing the comments 8 days after it completed#it took only four-five months for the story to start and complete#i dont know if the comments i made for appa juice are too critical rather than just [comments] but i actually like it a lot#matter of heart seems to take a while to update but the chapters are long so it cancels out#although appa juice also makes the insert aware of subarus failed loops and its memories which did throw me off#spoilers#re:reader feels kinda cliche (as in like a lot of other rezero fics) in that rems the star that loves you and#it doesnt make a lot of rezero sense (like not much realistic human nature)#i like when the characters are allowed to be ugly and cringy because of human nature rather than just “dont say that ughh” embarrassment#re:reader isnt really my thing i think its for the male audience that likes rem more than emilia#i couldnt make it through re:reader so maybe youll like it if u do#sorry#thanks everyone for the recs!#rezero#re zero#re:zero#reblog#fanfiction#fanfic#fic#oc#reader#ao3#ff.net#note: these tags are from when i made the list#glass of appa juice without looking at the story its title makes me think of tnma milkman#i like that matter of heart shows OC is scared of emilia#clearing out my drafts (tag limit)
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Jealousy part 1
Part 2 here
Warnings: age gap/toxic behavior
Vernestra-Padawan reader/jedi Qimir
I'll update the tags as the story progresses, there should only be two more parts.
I'm not sure how far I'll go with certain behaviors, so leave a comment and let me know what you think <3
(This first part is to provide context, the other two will set the story in motion)
Becoming a Padawan was a lifelong dream. Of course, I was young, so my view of the world and what I would experience in the coming years was very limited. The idea of being taken under the wing of a more experienced Jedi master, learning many more techniques, the missions, the travels, all the people and aliens I could meet... I was bursting with happiness.
Not that the exercises at the temple weren't stimulating, I was glad to have made friends, to have developed a routine with them, but I was ready for something new.
So, when I was finally introduced to my future master, I was bursting with joy. I recognized her immediately, it was hard not to. Vernestra was an important member of the Order, involved with the Senate, and was known for her numerous successes. It was an honor for me to receive that position by her side.
Over the years, I had been recognized as an excellent future Padawan, with the ability to learn quickly, a strong sense of observation, and a positive and kind character that always accompanied me. I was often praised for the way I presented myself to others. In short, everyone saw a bright future for me, but I had difficulty seeing it myself. I was young and inexperienced and I believed that the important thing was to follow the rules, the rest was just a part of me, something I did naturally.
I imagine that becoming Vernestra’s Padawan was just the confirmation of that golden path everyone saw me on, but I was too caught up in the newness to really think about it.
However, I soon realized that I lost the balance I had created up to that point, I lost some friends, some simply due to distance, others were... cold towards me.
I didn't understand what had changed. I would never have accused anyone of feeling emotions like jealousy or anger towards me, we were children. Missteps were normal, and we were taught that it was right to face them and learn from them.
But if you asked around, many would have described me as someone who never made mistakes, who always responded with a gentle smile, a comforting word, a hand on the shoulder, or even just a pleasant company if you needed to vent. Perhaps that was the problem. I appeared too perfect in the eyes of others.
And yet, the Master didn’t make me feel that way. She taught me everything calmly, I followed her every step, she reprimanded me harshly, but always with care. She soon realized how much I sought validation in everything I did.
It was stronger than me, I believed I was always making a mistake, that I was in the wrong. After all, who was I to say something was right or wrong? I was just a Padawan. A child.
And anyway, it wasn’t the Jedi’s job to give answers, but rather to push people to understand for themselves.
Even though it was a concept I found difficult to grasp myself.
Anyway, that’s how I met Qimir.
He was Vernestra’s former Padawan, now promoted to Jedi Knight and independent in his duties, but he often visited us, either to seek advice from his old Master or just to ask how she was doing. I found him very sweet.
The first time I met him in person, I already knew his name. He had managed to stand out as soon as he started his duties as a Knight. Among the younger ones, there was a sense of reverence towards him even though we had never seen him in person. And besides, it was rumored that he was terribly handsome, not that it particularly interested me at the time.
I remember I was in the library with Vernestra, she had assigned me some basic readings to start my future physical training. Young ones are already taught at an early age to defend themselves and to learn various positions, but it was more about building an understanding of your Force signature, learning to trust your senses. The real training would then be individual for the student once they had a Master, so she had recommended these introductory readings on the various forms of combat and their use.
Those were afternoons I remembered with particular affection. Sitting in silence, she would take a more suitable book or bring her work documents on her datapad, and the hours would pass in an instant. Sometimes, I would glance at her to see what she was doing. She noticed every time, smiled slightly, and gently scolded me, telling me to return to my tasks.
I was happy. I felt cared for, appreciated, but not in the cold manner of a teacher with their student. It was a feeling I didn’t quite know how to place in my heart, and it worried me a bit, but I kept my doubts for another day.
On one of those quiet afternoons, I met Qimir. The room was particularly deserted that day, so the sound of footsteps approaching could be heard clearly along the shelves. Thinking it was the librarian, I didn’t pay much attention and remained with my nose buried in the book. Even when he stopped in front of our table I didn’t pay attention. Then, a deep male voice I didn’t recognize spoke Vernestra’s name.
Curiosity flared up in an instant, and as the two began a light conversation next to me, I slowly raised my gaze, the book almost serving as a shield, my hair partly covering my eyes. In front of us stood a young man in his twenties, dressed in the classic brown Jedi Knight attire, speaking casually to Vernestra. His slightly long, smooth hair, a light smile, and dark eyes framed by a chiseled jaw.
It was the first time I saw him. And the first time my heart beat so fast in my chest.
I didn’t know if it was because he was undeniably a handsome guy. I had never been too interested in that sort of thing, and anyway, it was forbidden for Jedi to have too impure thoughts. It was more... his aura. The amused smile but attentive eyes, the neat but relaxed posture... he seemed to shine with his own light. It was what I felt when I saw a member of the council, when I glimpsed Master Yoda in the corridors, reverence, respect, a bit of fear.
He was captivating, and he seemed to be aware of it.
I didn’t even realize that I had been staring at him longer than I should have. He noticed the insistent gaze on him. I must have looked quite ridiculous, a young girl hiding behind a book while staring at the great Jedi Knight, but the smile he gave me right after almost took my breath away as I blushed, perhaps for the first time in my life.
“And you must be the new Padawan who took my place. Nice to meet you, I’m Qimir” he said, extending a hand, and after casting a nervous glance at Vernestra, who was smiling at me, I hugged the book to my chest with one arm, my palm tingling, unsure whether to return the handshake.
Another inner turmoil came with that first touch. His hands had long, slender fingers, marked by numerous calluses, probably from gripping the lightsaber or the various missions he faced. It was just another reason why I started to admire him. I could see all the dots connecting in this figure that represented everything I wanted to become. A Jedi. A reference point for those in need.
I said my name in a low, timid voice, and he leaned towards me with a slight frown “Such a small voice, are you always like this, or am I making you nervous?” he joked, but I bit my lip, not knowing what to reply, I pulled my hand away, but he didn’t let go. Instead, he began to gently rub my knuckles with his thumb.
“Leave her alone, Qimir. She’s shy, don’t start with your teasing” Vernestra scolded him, at which he let go. I hid my hand under the table, clenching it into a fist, my skin tingling.
“Sorry, sorry. It must be a relief for you to have someone like this after me” she sighed but didn’t deny it either, at which I let out a smile and he, noticing, winked at me.
That was the first time I had dealings with him. But soon I began to see him everywhere. When he wasn’t on a mission, he stayed around the temple, so I encountered him in the corridors, in the halls, in the meditation room, and he always had a kind smile for me.
He made me feel special even though I knew it was a selfish feeling. When I managed to study with other Padawans in the library or practiced in the courtyard, he always stopped by to give me a nod. My friends were jealous, but I wasn’t really offended. Qimir was... kind.
It was like seeing the Force alive and pulsing around him. It was impossible not to look at him, not to wish that he would glance at you even just once.
Everyone wanted to be like him. Charismatic. Confident. Everyone wanted to be his friend.
One of the first missions I did with Master Vernestra was another point of contact. Being young, I wasn’t yet allowed in particularly dangerous scenarios, not to mention that if there was one thing I was lacking in, it was combat. I followed the Master almost everywhere, political life was just as important in a Jedi’s path, and I had to understand the mechanics early on for when I would be older, even though they were often more moments of leisure.
The meetings lasted hours, often discussing places, people, and things I knew nothing about. I tried to stay focused, but it was really difficult, and even Vernestra thought I shouldn’t strain myself too much, so she let me roam around, maybe continue studying, or even just take a little break.
One day, ready to depart, we were loading the luggage onto the ship. We were going to spend a few days on Hoth, and I was incredibly excited since I had never experienced a planet with that kind of climate before. As I was lost in my thoughts, a light knock interrupted me. At the foot of the ramp, Qimir gave me a half-smile "Is there room for me too?" I was still intimidated by his presence since we had never really spoken before. I opened my mouth several times, glancing around awkwardly, not sure if he was teasing me or if I was too stupid to understand what he meant.
"I hope you didn’t bring your usual baggage" Vernestra said behind me, gently placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her, confused "Excuse me Master, is Qimir coming with us?" I struggled even to pronounce his name, it felt like an insult to do so, as if I didn’t have enough experience to earn such a privilege.
"What, you don't want me around?" he smiled as he walked up the ramp. I squirmed uncomfortably, realizing the embarrassing situation I had caused "N-no, I didn’t mean that—" He smiled even more, but Vernestra intervened again, scolding him "Give her some space Qimir."
The plan was simple: it was a diplomatic mission, and Qimir had joined us to study for a few days with his former master. I didn’t know exactly what he needed, but he wanted her advice. We left a few minutes later, and I avoided the control room like the plague. I only entered once to ask how much longer it would take, burning alive under Qimir’s gaze, then I shut myself in the bedroom and did my homework.
Hoth was as beautiful as it was freezing. But it was worth it; I had never seen such an immense expanse of white, the ground soft underfoot from the snow, the ice mountains, creatures I had never seen before. Vernestra stopped to talk to some locals, and I approached the enormous door overlooking the ice field. I wondered if the entire planet was like this. Did anyone live in those isolated areas? How could anyone survive in such a harsh climate?
A gloved hand rested on my back, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I turned, expecting to see my master, but under the hood, it was Qimir’s dark eyes that looked at me with a gentle smile on his face.
"Beautiful, isn’t it?" he asked before turning back to look at the white expanse before us. I nodded hesitantly. Nervous about speaking to him, I bit my lip but managed to gather the courage "Do you know... if there’s anyone who lives in these lands?" He looked at me, puzzled, and I quickly corrected myself "I mean... besides the local species. Or aliens accustomed to these temperatures. Do you think others could live in a place like this?" He let out a small amused puff, "Well, we actually know for sure. There are many bandits or pirates hiding in these lands. Mainly to hide something, you know, it’s not worth sending search teams into snowstorms for a single man" he explained.
I made a sound of acknowledgment, but he continued "And if we’re talking about others... I think so. Someone who likes solitude or seeks peace. It seems like a good place not to be found" At that point, I turned toward him "Completely alone? It seems..." sad. But I was afraid to say it out loud, sadness wasn’t one of those emotions a Jedi should typically feel, but it felt natural to feel melancholy at the thought of people wanting to lose themselves in nothingness, to never be found again.
"Sad?" he seemed to read my mind "You see, emotions are very complicated to recognize. What might seem sad to you might mean peace to others. As Jedi, we often take many emotions for granted, but we often forget to give them context" I listened, hanging on his every word.
The conversation seemed... strange in some way. It made sense. Of course it did, he was older than me, had more experience in the field, and knew what he was talking about. I should have just nodded and thanked him for sharing those words.
I ignored the burning sensation I felt and thanked him in a faint voice It felt silly to do so, but it was the least I could do.
He smiled at me and gently took my hand "Let’s go, we need to warm up a bit. Trust me, in two more minutes, you won’t be able to feel the tip of your nose" he joked. I stifled a giggle and let him lead me inside toward the rooms. I didn’t know if it was because we were both wearing gloves or because of the conversation we had just had, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable being held by the hand.
A couple of days later, I was alone in one of the bases scattered across the ice. Vernestra was in a meeting and had forbidden me from attending due to the sensitivity of some of the information that would be exchanged. The problem was that these places weren’t particularly full of people or things to do. Yes, there was a bar area, but after the third cup of hot chocolate, I was afraid of pushing my stomach to the limit, so I stayed at the entrance, my feet in a pile of snow as I doodled or made small, questionable-looking statues.
I was so engrossed in the crooked little house I was shaping out of the ice that I didn’t notice the snowball being thrown in my direction.
I let out a startled yelp when it hit the hood on my head. I spun around just in time to see Qimir burst into laughter "Why did you do that?!" I stood up quickly, brushing the snow off my head.
"You looked so bored, I woke you up, didn’t I?" he chuckled.
I glared at him with a pout while he continued to laugh, so I decided to get revenge.
I bent down to grab a pile of snow, quickly making two balls. I threw the first one, but he easily dodged it.
He turned with an arrogant smile, ready to boast when the second one hit him square in the face.
I burst into laughter. He wiped the snow from his nose, his smile gone before bending down to grab more snow.
I shouted his name, realizing immediately what he was about to do, and started running through the snow with him on my heels. We didn’t even have time to make proper snowballs, we just grabbed the snow in our hands, compacted it as best we could, and threw it at each other in a never-ending war. Sometimes I noticed people giving us amused looks as they arrived or departed from the base, but I didn’t care, I was so happy that, for the first time, I didn’t even care what people thought of me.
An hour later, Vernestra called us back, giving us a confused look. She sighed and sent us to dry off. I felt a bit embarrassed at that moment, and I apologized for the childish behavior, but she smiled at me and assured me there was nothing wrong with what we had done.
In the end I took a full shower someone had left dinner on my bed, considering how long I had been under the hot water. I ate and, putting on one of the heavy local pajamas, decided to step out into the hallway to ask the Master what we would be doing the next day. I knew she wasn’t in bed yet, based on her nightly habits.
I walked down the hallway on the second floor, where the various guest rooms were located, when I noticed that her door was already open.
I approached slowly and immediately recognized Qimir’s voice.
"I’m just saying, if we block the main routes, they’d be forced to come out into the open" With a sense of curiosity, I pressed myself against the wall to peek into the room. The two were looking at an old map spread out on the table.
"I agree, but it would take too many resources, and we don’t know the exact times or routes. It would take a lot of time" she replied wearily. Qimir, standing next to her, bit his lip before flashing one of his smiles, "Or... we could sneak in"
She sighed again "The point is the same. We don’t have the resources—"
"I’ll go in myself. I’ll cut the power right under their noses, and—" She interrupted him with a wave of her hand.
"Do you realize what you’re saying? Sneaking in like a thief, and then what? Even if I let you do it, they could still escape, and..." He circled the desk, positioning himself in front of her, his back to me, so I barely heard what he said "No one said we need them alive—"
A sudden thud made me jump. I pressed my hands to my mouth, paralyzed, afraid they had heard me "No. Stop this nonsense, Qimir."
I don’t know what they said after that, I was too busy slipping back into my room, the conversation I had just overheard spinning in my head.
Sometimes, as a Jedi, you had to make drastic choices, right?
Or at least, it seemed that way.
I tried to forget about it and went to sleep.
#the acolyte#star wars#qimir#qimir x reader#qimir x oc#first person#jealousy#everyone is here for the age g4p#age g4p#manny jacinto#dead dove do not eat
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5 basic things you can do to improve your ao3 experience +1 thing that will not help
Get an account
There is a process to this- you need to get on a waitlist and then will be sent an email to make an account (at this point in time the wait time is about a week)- but once you have an account you unlock a lot of features that make the whole experience better, such as the marked for later list, turning off the extra acknowledgement for adult content, mute users, and you can see more fics that are only available to people with an account.
2. Use a site skin
This can be as simple as just getting dark mode (the reversi skin), or it can dramatically change the viewing experience. There are premade ones to chose from that require absolutely zero coding. Skins can also just be applied to one platform- for example on mobile devices you can consolidate tags. You can also use skins to hide works or tags you don’t like or that have a lot of fics that clog up search results.
3. Search by things other than fandom
If you love a trope and want to see more of it or love a niche character, click on the tag to search within it. You may get fewer results but it will allow you to scratch that specific itch without having to wade through 100s of pages of results. If you search by a trope, you can then apply a fandom tag on top of that so you see the characters you love.
4. Download fics
AO3 makes downloading fics super easy and you should do it! Whether you know you will be offline, are concerned that a fic could be deleted, you want to read on a e-reader instead, or you just want to be prepared for the next AO3 crash, downloading fics can let you read with no limits. The download button is at the top of each fic and lets you download a bunch of different file formats.
5. Interact with authors
One of the things I love most about reading fanfic as opposed to traditional media is that the people writing the fics are just as into the fandom as you are. So by leaving kudos, commenting, subscribing and checking out any linked social medias, you can get involved or give back to the community. Take this with the warning that authors may not want to interact back with you and have no obligation to, but to some authors a comment on their fic will make their day which is just a good goal to strive for if you liked a fic.
Even if you don’t want to leave a comment or follow an author's socials, a subscription is a nice way to feel a bit included in the writing process. Once you subscribe to a work, series, or author, you get fun emails whenever something updates! It keeps you from wondering if you missed something and makes reading your email a more enjoyable experience.
+1
Don't make it anyone else's problem if you didn’t like a fic
This is a little obvious but it is worth repeating- commenting that you didn’t like a fic changes nothing. If you don't like a fic, you don’t have to finish it! If you did finish it but wish you didn’t, that is what the back button is for. If you keep forgetting you didn’t like a fic and keep clicking on it, you can create a skin that blocks it from view, or mute the author. If you didn’t like the content, filter out the tag describing that thing using "Other Tags to Exclude" within the Sort and Filter menu. If something is against the AO3 terms of service, you can report it.
None of those things need to be shared with the author and doing so just makes the internet a less fun place.
Happy reading!
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So... I asked if you guys might want some of my question drives back, and you sure did answer!
If you had told me I'd get that big of a response like a year ago, I probably would not have believed you. I know I mentioned it on the actual poll itself, but that's insane. 🥺 Thank you very much for supporting my projects.
Anyway, onto the thing you're all here for: The single-word (anything) drive!
What is a single-word (anything) drive?
I'm glad you asked! The single-word (anything) drive is an extension (and evolution) of my single-word fic drive, where writers would write a small fic based on a word of my choice. I want to give people the opportunity engage in creative mediums beyond writing; aka, gpose, art, meta analysis — whatever makes you happy and engaged creatively with Final Fantasy XIV!
By liking/reblogging this post, you consent for me to go into your askbox to send a one-word prompt generated from this website, picked from a selection of five, as a prompt for you do something creative with your oc. I will then queue any and all completed works to my character question tag, which can be found here, as well as posting them to my Tumblr Community over at SEAFLOOR (though you and other members are welcome to reblog them there in my absence, too)!
While the SEAFLOOR Community is public, it is currently invite only by Tumblr's restrictions about beta communities. If you'd like to join, you'll have to like this post for now. Once Communities are out of beta, you should be able to join straight from its page!
There is no word limit or time limit, no barrier for skill, and you are welcome to ask for another prompt if the original one doesn't vibe. This is all about giving you the opportunity to explore a concept or part of your character you might not have considered, or expand upon your artistic/technical ability.
Sea, when does the drive end? I'm glad you asked! I'll probably keep it open for about two weeks (around July 26), unless I decide to manually call it before then. I'll update this main post to reflect the change if I do (as well as announce it in SEAFLOOR).
That's all for now! I'll either update or reblog this post with more information as needed, so please check the notes of this post for any updates.
#。・゚゚・ — sea's character questions#。・゚゚・ — sea speaks#i'll probably do the question drive tomorrow#i wanna break back into it by doing the easier one first#:)
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Stricken 1
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, violence, ostricization,and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: you were scarred by a storm years ago and its bringer has come to upheave your life once more.
Characters: God of War!Thor
Note: I did this finally.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
You always know when a storm's coming. The hairs on your arms stand and your skin burns hot. The smell of rain is tinted by another scent. That of burning flesh and ash. Your scars raze as if struck again and for a moment, you cannot hear or see.
Slowly, the scent of rain returns to you and the noise of the patter, sometimes more a hammering, as if to remind you of its bearer. The thunder is his war cry. The lightning his wrath. You do wonder why then it should’ve come down on you.
You keep your hood up, your chin low. Though you hide, the villagers know who you are, they know of your misfortune. The calamity wrought into your flesh in veined scars. Your face is marked with the storm, zigzagged with lines as your left eye is struck blind and white.
Yet it isn’t your name they whisper as you stop at a stall to buy grain. It is his. The Prince of Asgard. The might God of Thunder. The monster who made you like this.
The air is thick, roiling with unspent moisture, and the clouds threatening in a grey ripple. You should have come yesterday. You should not have waited so long.
You trade your coin and move on, gathering the small rations you can afford. You’ll return to your hovel, gather what you can from the garden, and check the traps for rabbits. It should get you through, though the frost does eat away at your harvest.
As you have it, between the chirping of your disfigurement, there is worse creeping from the north. The snows have fallen heavy and whole lakes have frozen to the silt. You do not believe all you hear but you know better than to disregard the nip in the air.
Your basket remains like but you’ve spent your limit. Your cloak shifts with your movement and you shrink lower as you near the group of adolescents feigning at battle with sticks. Their audience glimpses your passing and you hear their voices mingle with laughter.
“It’s that crone. The burnt one,” comes a bit louder than is meant.
You don’t stop. You don’t show that you’ve heard it. There is nothing to be said.
“Cursed, by Thor’s hammer,” another chortles, “it is said he was forging and struck the blade too hard. In his wrath, he sent a storm. A mongrel like her drew it upon herself, broken like the sword.”
Certainly, that too is a story to be met with skepticism. One cannot guess at what the gods do in Asgard nor why they bring only misery and chaos to Midgard. You cannot disagree that the storm was no favour to you. A curse, certainly, though the meaning can never be known.
You move along, leaving behind their whispers and their sneers. Off to your solace, to your safe. Out of the path of any wandering soul or any blowing storm.
⛈
A storm rages without. Water swirls and batters your small abode, built against the wall of a cave on a carpet of peat. You cover your ears as the winds whistle and wail. You quake beneath your cloak, eyes locked shut as you cower away from the tempest so much as your own memories.
The blinding white flash and the scalding hot pain. Your fingers creep up to your chin and feel the rigged scars. You can never forget, no matter how you try. You can never be as you were. You are marked, you are damaged, and as the villagers have it on their tongues, broken.
Even your family would not have you. You remember your mother’s wail as your father drove you off like some beast. ‘The gods have smited you themselves. You cannot remain or you will wreck ruin upon us all.’
Days of walking and tears, like the very storm that scarred you, a haze through which you trod until you could go no more. Until your head would split and the burnt flesh began to weep. A woman found you on the forest floor, rotting away from the corruption spreading through you.
You don’t remember much of her. Only her touch and how she healed you. She bid you off with the cloak you wear and some food for your travels. Then you were alone and thus you remain. Not even the thieves will steal from you, nor the criminals darken your door. A curse is worth no piece of gold, no drop of blood.
The pounding of rain relents. A chill creeps beneath the slats of your door and seep into the walls. You fill the earth with what kindling you have, the clay chimney puffing smoke up through the center of the roof. You hold your hands out to warm but find little comfort.
You settle on your side beneath your cloak and stare into the flames. You shiver. It’s cold. Very cold. Typically, the rain chases away the chill but this is different. You can feel it in the ground. You curl up tight, clinging to your warmth, let your eyes close. Sleep comes but for lack of and not peacefully.
Your dreams are a maelstrom. There a flames and ice, one after the other, sometimes together. Sharp pointed shards frozen and hanging, then licking tendrils of heat from below. You are lost in the land of sleep, tortured by a world built of your own fears and follies.
You wake stiff and frigid. The fire has gone out. Not even smoke remains in the pile of ash. You move carefully, bones aching, scars tingling. You touch the hard ridging along your cheek and your fingers pulse from the cold. You can see your breath.
How can it be? It was sunny before the rain. You get your feet under you and stand with a groan. Near the door, a strange dusting of white powders around the door, flecking in from beneath and around the edges. Snow?
Were the tales true after all? You wince as suddenly your scars singe and sting. Ow. You recoil and cover your face with your hands, hissing and wheezing through the pain. It hurts terribly. Worse than even the first strike.
You pull your hands away as your eyes water and you blink through your tears. You can see, at least in your good eye. There is no lightning, it is only in your mind. You shakily turn and search around. You cry out again as the agony surges once more in your head.
Why?
Your legs quake. Something is amiss. The frost has come and this meagre hut cannot withstand it. You take your rucksack and put what you can carry into it. Your water skin is strung across your chest and your pack upon your back. You wrap your boots with rags and your hands too. You haven’t the clothing for the cold but you will need to find something. Perhaps skin a hare or two.
The door blows inward almost as soon as you touch it, another gust nearly bowling you over. You sway with the wind and cling to the crooked doorframe. You shove yourself out, just as quickly flattened to the wall by a flurry of snow. It dusts your face coldly and you pull up your neck scarf over your nose and pull your hood into place.
You set off, hunched, reaching with your arms as you lift your knees over the treacherous heaps. You keep close to the rock wall. The thought of turning back stops you but it seems as foolish an idea. The hovel cannot hold for much longer. You need to get to the mouth of the cave and chance a sleeping bear within.
You sidle along, slowed by the snow and the wind, the former soaking through your clothing as the latter whips around your hood. Suddenly, a roll of thunder, like war drums, churns in the air. The word dims and the furor sounds again; louder, closer.
You cry out and lift an arm to shield yourself instinctively. You curl your hand into the rockface and holler even louder, closing your eyes as your memory summons another storm. No, it cannot be. Not again.
A deafening boom shakes the ground and knocks you to your knees. You crawl along, keeping low near the ragged stone, those hidden beneath the snow jabbing against your palms. You whimper and whine, blinded by the thickening curtain all around you.
Yet you never heard of the god raining down snow upon the lands. Only the slaking rains and the hot violence of his bolts. Never this. What sword has he broken this time? Perhaps it was his very own hammer.
The thunder overhead continues its horrid thrum as more pulses in the earth. Boom, boom, boom. You feel it beneath your hands. Your knees come down clumsily as you scramble through the piling powder. You open your eyes and still cannot see. The world is smudge in gray white and black, the sky flashing and darkening from one moment to the next.
You cry out again as your scars burn. You push yourself back on your heels and grasp your face as you shriek. It hurts! So bad! Your eyes well and flow over. Your body trembles and collapses. You writhe in the snow, contorting with the agony as your flesh feels as if it is splitting.
Beneath the incessant pounding comes a rocky noise. Like laughter it curdles in the air and chases after you like the steady boom, boom, boom. Closer and closer, louder and louder, the earth quakes in tandem with the cacophony.
“I’ve found another,” the deep voice scoffs and snickers, “ah, Heimdall, you must see this--”
The craterous voice halts and the air still. The snow drifts but the wind stops and the thunder relents, the world seeming to hum. You scratch at your face as the flames grow unbearable. You must be alight. It can be the only reason for such pain.
The large figure, a blurry silhouette in your skewed vision, looms like a mountain. He steps over you, sliding a foot between you and the cave wall and flips you onto your back. You stare up at the sky, rolling in sheets of grey and black, the dark figure standing above, blotting out the clouds. You sob and plead.
“Make it stop!” You beg as your hood falls back, “kill me! Kill me! It hurts.”
He bends as your eyes roll back and he grabs your wrists, pulling your hands away from your face. He pulls you half off the ground, not a single grunt for the effort. You feel whoever, whatever it is, looking down at you; upon you. A rattle rises in his gritty throat.
“And what are you?” He breathes.
You feel another surge and babble, reining in your wild eyes as you quiver uncontrollably. You make yourself look at him. You shudder and shake your head. Shaggy red hair, a braided beard, and eyes so blue they jolt you. Ink marks one side of his broad face as he wears fur upon his soldiers beneath emblems of the godly lands.
“It hurts...” you rasp, “I am dying.”
“You...” he grabs your chin, holding you by your shoulder. His thumb extends up your face to touch the scars and you let out a shrill howl as the agony piques. You latch onto his thick arm and thrash.
“It buuuuuuuurrnssssssssss,” you scream as your spine arches.
“Hmm,” he hums and throws you into the snow. You continue your desperate wriggling, the fire softening but not leaving you completely, “Heimdall!” He calls out like a war horn, “get your skinny ass over here!”
There’s a tinkle of coy laughter and lighter footsteps that land on the boulder above. Your eyes drift over and you see another shadow, this one hazier but smaller. A dusting of snow flies up beside you as the other man lands beside you. No, not a man.
Heimdall? Son of Odin.
“Oh, Thor, what trouble have you found--”
“Another one,” the other growls. Not the other, Thor. The God of Thunder. The beast who marked you. “Father says they all must come.”
“This one?” Heimdall muses as his voice spikes with humour, “why look at her. Pathetic—wait a moment... brother, is this your handiwork?” He squats to see you closer and snickers again, “why how very peculiar.”
“Bring her,” Thor barks and spins on his heel, swinging his hammer, “we haven’t time--”
“You bring her, brother. As you say, you are so much stronger--”
“Just do it!” Thor snarls and a peel of thunder breaks through the clouds. “I need ale.”
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Smoke, Fire and Ash
Warnings: This fic includes noncon, dubcon, manipulation, violence, death, forced marriage, and inc3st. Tags will be added as the fic goes on. Angst, grief, sorrow, fighting.
This is a dark!fic. 18+ only. Read at your own discretion. Please read the warnings before continuing.
Summary: You are the eldest daughter of Rhaenyra and Daemon Targaryen. You are forced to navigate the difficult surroundings of your upbringing and the eventual disintegration between your family and the Hightower's relationship. What will happen when your older and estranged uncle suddenly takes a more sinister interest in you? (Dark!Aemond x Reader)
Masterlist
Characters: Aemond Targaryen X Reader, HOTD characters.
Note: Hello angels, here is the next chapter hehe, bit of a sad one but what do we expect from SF&A at this point? Lmaooo. I've almost completely finished writing the whole series, so updates may become more regular as I pump it all out for you. What a journey this has been! Enjoy <3
Chapter 92: Burn Together
To say that things went back to normal would be a farce.
It was all a farce.
The fake smiles. The small nods. The words of affirmation and condemnation. The false sense of security and even falser acts of content. It was all wrong. It was all changed. And it was all too much.
You spend much of your days in the Garden, sat where you were usually seated, staring out at the water as you tried to uphold some sense of strength. Tried to show some vision of superiority and that the loss of the child was divine intervention. As though the anger and hurt had gone, as though the sadness and regret had left, because you knew it was for the better, or perhaps the Gods had told you so.
Words came to you rarely as you began to shrink into yourself again, but with each shrinking moment came the bursting strikes of life. Not happiness or joy, not frustration or longing, pure and uncontested rage.
Rage that it happened.
Rage that he had done nothing.
Rage at your stupidity.
Rage at your desire for more.
Aemond did not try to pry words from you, nor did he even try to touch you. He simply let you exist around him, giving you the space to come to him when needed. Late at night, in the darkness of the chambers you would roll to face him, and the most bitter of sobs would leave your lips.
At first Aemond had been uncertain, and stayed still amongst the sheets, unsure of whether or not to hold you or offer you support. But when you had rolled and pressed yourself into his side, his arms had curled around you in a way that felt natural, as though your body was made to fit between his in such a way, and let you cry against his chest.
Your clothes, your maids noticed, had begun to wear large on you, finding that you had no want to eat nor any appetite to do so. Even with the gentle encouragement of them both, you still did not find the heart to do it, looking at the bowl of star fruit in front of you, stomach full of lead.
But Aemond allowed you to do it.
He allowed you to grieve, but at some point, everyone has their limit, and it seemed that tonight was the night for his.
“You need to eat, Y/n. You need move past this grief. Do not let it consume you.” He implored, grasping at your cheeks.
You pulled away from him, looking up at him with a shaky lip, “Nothing you do will ever make this okay! Nothing you say will take away what you have already done, or what you are to do.”
“What are you talking about?” He questioned, deep lines in his brow.
“This! Us!” You broke, “All of it. It seems as though the Gods have destined us with nothing but pain and agony, and how much more must I bear? My heart cannot take it, Aemond.” A tear slid down your cheek, “I am tired, but more than this I am so alone. So very much alone even with you standing in front of me. Even as I can reach out and touch you with mine own hands. Even as you promise me sweet nothings, I know that it will never be enough to satiate the hungers of the punishments I will soon be lashed with.”
Aemond shook his head, stepping forward towards you again, “Do you think I am going to hurt you? I’m not going to punish you for losing the child. It was not your fault.”
A sob fell from your lips, “Then why do I feel one coming? Why do I always feel as though I am one hair away from your cruelty? We take one step forward together and five steps back. I have given you everything, and yet what do you give me? Nothing. You did nothing. You stood there and watched as I was brought before Aegon. What if it had been me? I thought it was going to be me! And you stood there like a craven and just watched.”
His violet eye blinked at you, the sapphire beside it, still.
You sucked in a breath again, “You watched as your precious wife, the mother to your child, was brought to the throne by force. You watched as Aegon threatened to take my tongue. And what did you do, Aem? You stood there and did fucking nothing!” Anger rose within you, bubbling viciously beneath your skin, “You stood there like a craven as your brother accused me of treason! Your wife! Your supposed love! Your one childhood companion who did nothing but defend you, no matter the odds or punishment! It has always been me. I have been the only one to ever love you. The only one to ever care. The only one to ever defend you. How many times did I do that for you? From the training yard, to the dragon pit, to the Sept. And when the time came for you to defend my honour, you were that same, scared little boy who would hide in the tunnels after his brother would tease him.” Heat rose on your cheeks as you looked at your uncle, his face stern and his eye narrowed.
"You expected me to do what?" Aemond snapped, "What did you expect me to do in that moment? I was not even told you were being brought to the chambers. I could not have possibly done anything that would not have made it worse. If Aegon had seen me react, he would have delighted in the sight and been moved to do more."
You scoffed, “I am burdened with being wed to a coward who hides behind the illusion of duty. A man who cannot even stand up to his drunken, pathetic, whoring brother.” You forced out a humourless laugh, watching as Aemond became irritated, “My husband who rides the largest dragon in the world, my husband who is a skilled warrior; sits and waits to be told what to do like a dog. Doing everyone else’s bidding.” You stepped closer to him, eyeing him down, “If I had not seen your cock, I would have suspected you were a eunuch.”
“My duty is to my brother, to my mother. To my blood.” He sneered.
“And what of my blood, Aemond? What of our union? What of the prophesies from the Gods? Did they not command you to act as you watched me be dragged by men into the throne room? That babe may have been the Prince that was Promised, and now it is gone. Because of you.”
Aemond huffed, “I could do naught! He is my brother. He is the King.”
“And I am your wife! And the blood of the dragon between us runs thicker than the water of the womb you have shared. Like a scared little boy. Never have I seen you so pathetic. You left me for dead.”
Aemond scowled, “I would never do that to you.”
“And yet, you did. You left me at the hands of your brother. And you watched. You have only lost one eye, yet you are so blinded by your duty to them. I feel as though I have died already. I died the moment I watched you do nothing, as those men touched me, as the pain creeped into my womb. I died the moment I realised I meant nothing to you, and that you would let my fate fall into Aegon’s hands. Is this a cruel joke from the Stranger? Is my true reality too grievous for my soul to take? Am I destined for all eternity to love a man who does not love me back?”
“I do love you.” Aemond insisted, frustration in his tone.
“Then why do you let them hurt me?!” You cried, “Why do you hurt me? The Gods play tricks on my mind and my body, and punish me for your actions. She was your whore. Your bastard. And yet I was punished for it. Not you. Me.”
“I lost the child too, do you not think that it pains me so?”
“I know it does not! You did not feel it as I felt. You did not feel the life leave my body, or the pain that came after. You did not feel it pass through me.” You sniffed, another tear falling.
Aemond’s lip twitched as he looked down at you, voice dangerously low, “I thought I lost you both.”
“And that is where the sickness and depravity of the Gods come to fruition. It is a never ending cycle of hurt and be hurt. I do not know what they have planned for me, but I fear it, Aemond. I fear the path they have paved for me. That child was from them, I know it. I felt it in my bones. And yet we lost it. Will they punish me now for being so careless? Will they punish us both for not ensuring its birth? I cannot continue to wreak the consequences of the men around me. I will break. I will break like poor Helaena did. But even to that, there is nothing I can do because I fell in love with a man who’s actions wound me most terribly. There is this small, foolish piece of me still holding onto hope that the Aemond I grew up with would still care for me as he did.”
“I do. I love you deeply. I would do anything for you, surely you know this.” Aemond began, stepping forward to hold your face tightly in his large palms, thumbs brushing the tears that fell from your cheeks.
“It is okay,” You heaved a breath, “Please just tell me if it is a farce.” You grabbed his wrists almost desperately, “If you only say it so for the treaty. I will understand, I will even make my peace with it.” You said desperately, “But please, I cannot survive my heart being torn apart by you any longer. I cannot do it, Aemond. I won’t. I will throw myself from Maegor’s Holdfast, I promise you this. I will set you free from these marriage bonds if you so wish, and my spirit from this earthly plane.”
Aemond stepped towards you, grabbing your shoulder and neck, fingers framing your chin, “Avy jorrāelan.” I love you, “Eman va moriot jorrāelatan ao. Kesan va moriot jorrāelagon ao. Se qēlossās kostagon ropagon hen se jēdar, se nyke iēdrosa jorrāelagon ao.” I have always loved you. I will always love you. The stars could fall from the sky, and I would still love you.
Aemond’s eye narrowed as he spoke, brow furrowed in a way that creased the scar at his brow, “Eman jorrāelatan ao pār nyke ēlī ilagontan laesi va ao. Se kesan jorrāelagon ao ēva ñuha mōrī jelevre.” I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. And I will love you until my last breath.
A loud sob left your lips as your heart clenched in your chest at his words.
"Hen se gūrēñare yard, naejot se havor tistālion, ēza va moriot issare ao.” From the training yard, to the kitchen, it has always been you.
“Aemond.” You hands tightened around his wrists in a way that would have been painful as you clutched him for dear life.
The Prince pulled you forward towards him, clutching you against his chest as he let you cry, wrapping his large arms around you, blanketing you in a feeling of safety that only he could bring to you.
You cried into him, feeling the last of your resolve fall away, and the rawness of your grief exposed to the chambers. He held you to him tightly, afraid to let go, your hands tightly wrapped in the front of his tunic.
When Aemond finally pulled back, he brought his lips to yours. It wasn’t burning with passion or desire, it wasn’t laced with regret and grief, instead, his lips moved against yours like a gentle whisper of assurance, a smaller whisper of truth, and the almost invisible whisper of a promise, all of which was overpowered by one thing, and one thing only.
Love.
Your uncle pulled away, looking down at you with nothing but adoration as he spoke again,“Lanta rōvēgrie zaldrīzes perzyssy, hēnkirī hae mēre. Spool hen kasta, spool hen zōbrie. Iā rōvēgrie ropagon naejot letagon lanta hubon. Vējes naejot zālagon hēnkirī.”
Two great dragon flames, together as one. Spool of green, spool of black. A great fall to tie two threads. Fated to burn together.
Tears continued to fall, but not because of grief. Not because of the sorrow that swallowed you into its dark pit, its wispy tendrils pulling you beneath its icy surface. Not because of the regret that you had, or guilt that you felt for the Maester.
You cried because you knew it was the truth.
You knew it to be.
It had to be.
All of this could not be for naught.
“Avy jorrāelan.” I love you, He whispered again.
You gave him a sad smile in return, “And I love you, but I don’t think I will survive this.”
“I will not let them hurt you.”
You looked at Aemond carefully, watching as the words left his mouth, at the way his eye held conviction, at the way his mouth held an almost Godly truth.
The way he said it to be true.
As though speaking would make it so.
“You already have.”
Aemond dipped his head towards you again and kissed you, pulling you against his body once more as you wrapped your arms around him, sighing into the kiss, feeling relief in his touch, safety in his arms, warmth in his reach.
Slowly Aemond moved you backwards towards the bed.
Your heart did not race nor skip, your breath did not hitch, and you went with him willingly, hands reaching the bottom of his tunic to begin unclasping the latches that held it together.
When the last clasp was undone, your hands skated beneath gently, softly, slowly, and moved up his torso, feeling the hard lines of his body, and the warmth of his skin, and the subtle breaths that he took as you made your way to his shoulders, hands moving beneath to slide it off his his body. It fell to the floor, the next his under tunic, and before long, your hands reached forward to unlace his breeches.
Aemond spun you softly, pushing your hair away from your neck and forward over your shoulder, kissing the bare skin as he unlaced and the back of your gown, the heavy material sagging on your body until it slid to the floor beneath you.
Breeches and chemises were lost, boots and stockings tossed, until finally the two of you laid atop the green sheets of your bed, his callused hands skating over your skin in reverence, with undying patience and care.
First he took you with his mouth, bringing you to your peak with the help of his long fingers, stretching you open for him and whispering words of praise against your slick skin. When you peaked with a cry, he kissed his way up your body, through the valley of your breasts until he hovered above you, seeking permission to move as he lined himself with your core.
You tilted your head upwards, chasing his lips as he slid inside of you slowly, the both of you moaning into each others mouths. Pleasure coursed through you with every thrust, heat blooming in your core as he made love to you for the first time.
It was not possessive or rough, violent or haste, it was slow, and sensual, hands mapping out bodies, savouring the flickering sparks that spouted beneath your skin. The small sighs that he made, the moans as he dipped his head into your neck.
All of it devastatingly pure.
The tears came without you even noticing them there, Aemond finding them upon your cheeks with a moment of concern. He brushed the tears away from your cheeks as he stilled, the length of him throbbing inside of you, desperate to keep moving.
“Are you hurt?”
You shook your head vehemently, “I wish we hadn’t wasted so much time apart.” You whispered, hips moving up to meet his, encouraging him to move again, “I wish the war had not happened.” Aemond slid through your folds as you babbled beneath him, “I wish that we had not done the things we had done.”
Aemond bent his neck to kiss you again, tongue chasing yours before he pulled away, the breath having been stolen from your lungs.
“We cannot go back, we can only move forward.”
You nodded, weakness and sorrow buried down beneath you as you looked at him with determination.
“Burn together.”
Thanks so much for reading along with me, if you wish to be added to the tag list please let me know :) Likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated ! Enjoy <3
Tag List:
@izzicle @ej-shitchats @may-machin @alegria1580 @witchy-jadda @videovampire @inkdelicious @queteimporta39 @virtualsweetsqueen @fo-cus @auratiqs @feyres-fireheart @queenofshinigamis @asoiafwh8re @teasandcrumpets @shesjustanothergeek @grungegrrrl@queenofsarcazm @marihoneywk @curlszx88 @virgogaia @loser-keiji @asoiafwh8re @whore-of-many-hot-men @vipervixxen @theonewiththeimaginaryboyfriends @watercolorskyy @lavendervisions @mazmack666 @chokefrog @orangejump-suit @nik2blog @serrhaewinin @ohemgeewhat @winxschester @cryptidsrcool @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @celestedonut @bloodyvelvet777 @iamapersonthatsalive @av-sos @yentroucnagol @sanzu-s @opheliaas-stuff @bellameshipper @maviee @persephonerinyes @neytiri-09 @ensnaredinwonderland @xbluegracex @sotragedynut @nattieot7 @shesawaywiththefairies-blog @coffedraven @prettycutebunny @celestedonut @the-jess-life @ssulfurr @out-of-life @madislayyy @crazylokonugget @cicaspair418 @katwmk @relminnie @milovart @teagrex @visenyaverse @bellameshipper @toodlesxcuddles @tempt-ress @dontmindmereading7 @qyburnsghost @55gyi53vtnquwziq5 @notnormalthings-blog @maidmerrymint @qyburnsghost @madislayyy @chelseaouat
Bold is who I cannot tag!
#aemond targaryen fic#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen smut#aemond targaryen x y/n#aemond x reader#aemond x fem!reader#aemond x you#aemond x y/n#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond smut#hotd smut#dark!aemond targaryen x reader#dark!aemond x reader#dark!aemond targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd fanfic#dark!aemond#dark!fic#fic#series#aemond one eye#aemond the kinslayer#aemond targaryen fanfic#aemond#smoke fire and ash
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Shameless DVD Commentary: None the wiser
I was tagged by a lovely anon over at @shamelessdvdcommentary to do this, thank you! Here we gooo
Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?
The people (11 out of 20) have spoken! None the wiser
Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)
First published: 2015-09-23 (coming up on 9 years what is time??)
Last updated: 2021-12-11 (holy heck that's... shit! I'm sorry!)
Words: 218,480 and counting
Chapters: 53/68
What was the initial inspiration for your story?
A little bit of everything, mostly I'd been reading a lot of Shameless fic at the time and really wanted to write something that was both a really quite basic diner/coffee shop AU, but The Most version of it. The slowest burn, the most diner AU. I had no ambition for people to like it but I wanted it to be Known. If anyone ever asked for a diner fic, they'd HAVE to say, well, NTW is The Most diner fic we've got. If someone asked for slow burn, people would sigh and say, WELL, this one over here is the worst, but it is very slow. And also I was inspired by Before Sunrise / Before Sunset, and working in the music industry.
If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?
I chose Mickey specifically because of the Concept, that Ian decides when the chapters start and end (with some exceptions) by going to the diner, but we're limited to Mickey's POV. Generally I think Mickey is easier for me to write, too, he's got a really strong voice and I like looking at the world (and Ian) through his eyes.
What was your favourite scene to write?
The whole banter/walk scene in chapter 44 when they leave the venue:
“Sure you and your lips can do whatever you set your heart to,” he says, “I believe in you.” Ian is silent, and when Mickey risks a glance in the direction of him and his non-trumpeting goddamned marvelous lips, Ian is looking at him like he’s some kind of unsolved mystery. ”What?” Mickey asks, frowning at him when Ian smiles. “Just a thought,” he says. ”You’ve been flirting with me since we first met, haven’t you?”
I had that whole back and forth leading up to the first kiss in my head for years before I got to finally got around to write it and I still love it.
How did you come up with the title?
It's from a song, one of the core songs I associate with this fic. My playlist now has 149 tracks on it, but the ones I consider "core songs" are None the wiser, Day After Tomorrow, Let's Dance, How I Made My Millions, Not Dark Yet, and Mosquitoes. I'm not sure I can explain why, but None The Wiser came on randomly when I was doing dishes and thinking about this fic I was writing, and the vibes just lined up in my head. Also I think it fits this version of Mickey I'm writing, who knows so much and has so much experience, but refuses to understand what's happening when Ian walks into his life.
Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?
Oh, wow. Yeah. I always reference silly little things and I just have to hope people understand them, or tolerate them at least. I think one of my favourite bit of foreshadowing is in chapter 39 when people keep staring at Ian because they obviously recognise him, but Mickey thinks staring at Ian is a completely reasonable thing to do and is mostly just annoyed over how blatant they're being.
Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?
I am struggling right now lol, I had meticulous notes for what I wanted to happen for every single chapter up until 45, and now half of them say "they text all day" and I'm like THANKS!!! VERY HELPFUL!! Also life and writers block etc etc.
Favourite line in the story?
This is such a hard choice, so I'll just go with this one from chapter 42:
“So,” Ian says, sitting back to sweep his arms out in a wide motion, presenting his solution. “I think we should go out for breakfast sometime.”
Because to me it pinpoints the moment when Ian breaks the format, in a way? They have met outside the diner before, but only on accident, and here Ian realises that it might be a problem that they only ever hang out at Mickey's job. But metatextually, he also highlights the narrative crux they're stuck in. I don't know, is that a boring favourite line? I have many, and I grabbed the first one I saw so I wouldn't get stuck rereading the whole fic lol. Do you have a favourite line?
Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?
So much, it's hard to believe because there isn't too much of a plot, but so much. My planned ending is so far from what it was when I started out, which is maybe one blessing that comes from how long it's taking me to write it, I have time to rethink things. I can't really talk about it now without spoiling the actual ending, but you better believe I will expose myself once we get to it.
If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?
I'd written fic for a different fandom ten years earlier, but nothing in this style I don't think, and this was my first time writing since I was 20 and stopped writing jrock rpf. I suppose I'm still writing about music, though!
What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)
One of the things I've always wanted to do with writing for Ian and Mickey is to let them have conversations, have things in common, and be friends. Because I think they were in canon, we just never got to see it (in the first 5 seasons, careful what you wish for). Guess I'm saying I'm proud of the bants!
Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?
I don't think so! I mean, maybe the last 15 chapters? I kid! They will make it!
Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?
There is one line Ian says where, when I wrote it, I was like; this is the first time Ian thinks "I love you" but says something else. Cannot remember what or where right now, and I don't want to try and find it, it's late! Submit your guesses here, I might find it over the weekend if I have some time to look. Also, it's like one of those silly I love yous, one of the early ones, full of potential and feeling but perhaps lacking a bit in substance, but he thought it and I saw him thinking it!
Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?
Eh *coughs* I might already have, and I apologise. The worst part about writing something this slowly and posting the chapters as I go is that the fic isn't finished and so I feel like it's fine for me to sometimes go back and edit already published chapters. It's not right but I... will still do it. Sorry! A most embarrassing example is when, not too long ago, we discussed the layout of the diner here and I went back to the first chapter to see how I had described it, and it had changed in so many ways over the years? Small round tables?? The tables haven't been round since 2016!! So that's a very clear case of something having become canon for all the hundred little times I've thought of the tables as square while writing vs that one time in chapter one I carelessly said they were round.
Would you ever write a sequel to this story?
Yes! So many! Or maybe not a sequel, that suggests another part of equal size. But little bits of stories, yes!
If you’ve chosen your most popular story, are you surprised by the popularity?
Yes! Like I said, my only aim was to annoy my way to fandom infamy. Turns out it's so much more fun to actually connect with people and write something with someone else in mind, besides myself. I feel so lucky that so many people have connected with NTW over the years <3
Were you nervous or excited to post this story?
Mostly just excited, I think! I still am, whenever I get to post something : )
Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?
No, I probably should have but I have a very hard time showing things to people when they're not finished.
Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.
Add snippets in the replies and I'll share thoughts, if you want!
Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3
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I realized that the updated Tag Search function makes it way easier to attempt to parallel search relationships including a specific character.
This method works better for characters who are not glitter and shipped with every person and creature and object under the sun.
This tutorial is written for people not familiar with tag ids. If you know how tag ids work, you should read the last two paragraph of this tutorial first.
You can find the Tag Search by looking at the menu at the top of the AO3 page that’s off to the left side.
Click Search and click Tag (the third option from the top).
Type in your character. If the character only ever appears in one fandom, you also include that. If the character you want to search as a very common name, you will probably have to include a fandom to avoid pulling in unrelated tags. Do not include more than one fandom otherwise the result will only pull up any tags that exist in all the fandoms you listed.
Select Relationship for type
Select Canonical
Hit Search Tags
The results should pull up every relationship that includes that character for that specific fandom or if you did not restrict by fandom, every relationship that has character with an identical name to the character you’re searching for.
For the character I picked, “Arm”, there are 29 results.
Open the Work Search page in a new tab or window. You can find a link in the same menu as Tag Search.
Or you can also open it through button labeled Work Search beside the Tag Search heading.
On the Work Search page, find the Any Field box.
This next part will be time-consuming but you will need to format all the relationships you want to parallel search like this: "X/Y" OR "X & A" OR "B & Z".
The tags need to match how they were shown on the Tag Search page. Each relationship needs to be placed between straight quotes. Curly quotes will break this search. Between each relationship tag, there needs to be an OR in all caps, but not one at the start or end.
After you’ve formatted things like this you can paste it into the Any Field box. (You could have just composed your search in there but if you’re parallel searching many relationship tags, doing it in notepad or something may make it easier to see what you’ve already included.)
There are filter options on this page. If you want to sort by completed or such, this is the point you need to do it at this point. This kind of search does not allow you to filter after you have clicked search. Unlike filtering on a specific tag, there is no filtering sidebar. A few other caveats:
If you want to exclude tags, you will have to input them into the Any Field box alongside the relationship tags. Those excluded tags will need to be formatted like such: - "tag 1" - "tag 2"
Basically they just need a minus sign in front of them. You do not need to include OR between them.
If you include more than one tag in the Character, Relationship, or Additional Tag boxes, the search will only bring up results that match all of your search parameters. So if you inputted “Fluff” and “High School” into the Additional Tag field, it would only bring up works that have both the “Fluff” and “High School” tag as well as any of the relationship tags in the Any Field.
I just want search for every work that includes Arm so I have no other filtering added. It looks like something below.
Once you’ve finished setting up your search, click the search button.
In the case of my search, I only set it up to pull up any of the 29 relationship tags I found that included Arm. When I saved this screenshot, there were 412 results.
A few important things to note. While AO3 doesn’t really restrict how many text characters you put into the Any Field box, most browsers have a limit. So if you want to parallel search a lot of relationship or any tags in fact, you may run into your browser breaking your search.
If you’re searching a high number of tags, it’s better to use tag ids instead because they’re shorter and so you’ll be able to include way more information with less text characters. The tutorial works similarly except the list will be formatted like such: filter_ids:123 OR filter_id:456
You will not need to put quotes around a tag id. To find a tag id, you can open a specific tag and look at its RSS Feed, or by using the following script: https://greasyfork.org/en/scripts/29917-ao3-display-tag-id
#AO3#archiveofourown#Tutorial#should I also just recreate this tutorial with tag ids?#wick meta#I cannot find the readmore function anymore so sorry everyone
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911 Countdown to Christmas
What is 911 countdown to Christmas?
A 9-1-1 focused event in which we countdown to Christmas with fanworks. This can be fics, edits, art, playlists, poems, or anything else you can think of. If you choose the 24-days option, you post one prompt a day. If you choose the 12-days option, you can choose between two dates to post a prompt. Fanworks can be focused on relationships, friendships, or a singular character.
Why this account?
I did a poll on @911buddieweek and though the option to host this on there won, I felt like it could get confusing to host it on there since this is not a Buddie-only event, which is why I made this separate account.
This way people who don't want to participate or follow Buddie Week can keep updated on this event, and updates for events will be separated
Do I have to post every day?
Nah, you can do whatever you want! If only 3 of these speak to you, you can only post those 3 days. It's entirely up to you!
Are there rules?
Tag accordingly - this event is open to all ages. Smut is allowed, but make sure it's tagged as such! Also tag trigger warnings.
No character bashing (though toxic parents don't count... bash away). Let's stay positive in this event. It's open for everyone in the 911 fandom...
...EXCEPT if you're gonna write pedophilia fics please stay away. Adult/minor fics will be removed.
The use of AI is NOT allowed.
Where can I post?
Anywhere you want! I will be making a collection on AO3 once December nears. You can post on here, on insta, twitter, any other place I can't think of at the moment.
Is this time limited?
It's okay if you miss a day, or post 12 fics on the same day. While the purpose is to count down, you can post whenever you want. Heck, if you're from the future and living in 2026, you can still post too! The ao3 collection will stay open.
Do I have to sign up?
Nope, you can just join. Though I'd love to know if you reply/reblog saying if you're participating!
I have a different question
You can send me a DM on here, on @911buddieweek or on my main @smilingbuckley. Asks for this account should be open (my main has them closed). If contact via Tumblr freaks you out, you can also DM me on Instagram (smilingbuckley).
#911#911 abc#911 on abc#911 event#911 fanfic#911 fanart#911 fandom#911 countdown to christmas#writing event#911 prompt#evan buckley#bobby nash#athena grant#eddie diaz#hen wilson#chimney han#maddie buckley#maddie han
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Blessed be the Fruit: Finale part 2
Commander!Joel Miller x Handmaid!Reader
Series masterlist Join dark!Romana's tag list Dark!Romana's Masterlist
Summary: Joel takes you somewhere different, meeting Tommy there
Content and Warnings: DARK JOEL! DUB CON! (stressing the dub con again this chapter)
Although no violent rape happens like in TWW, reader is under systemic misogyny and a society of ritualized sex abuse. Everything other than the violent rape scenes, everything that happen in either The Handmaids Tale book or show are liable to happen here including but not limited to discussion of rape, child abuse, child marriage, ritualized sexual abuse, sexual abuse in general, acts of violence, major character deaths, mentions of miscarriage but never shown and never pregnancies we know of. Big ole homophobia warning, specifically in regards to lesbophobia. As for Joel, PIV sex, breeding kink, degrading (slut, whore etc but thing like Raider!joel) forced breeding and breeding kink, power dynamics, Joel is not the good guy but he’s also not the worst, slightly rough sex but not violent. Warnings are liable to be added as the story goes but I’ll always update. As always if I miss something please tell me, but i extensively label my warnings and in the end media consumption is your own choice. If you would like to know if this is a happy ending or not you can message me and I’ll tell you that way I don’t spoil for everyone but you can decide if this is for you.
Immersability: Reader has long hair, can conceive children theoretically.
****************
There was only one person Tommy let him tie up, and it was the woman Gilead had sentenced to get fucked by him every month. Tommy wasn’t complaining, and honestly he wasn’t hearing it from Angela either. Sure, this wasn’t an ideal situation but Tommy thought he at least made it bearable.
He couldn’t do anything about how other commanders treated their women, he couldn’t do anything about the fact he was Angela’s last commander before she would have been sentenced to the colonies… but she didn’t have to worry about that anymore, did she?
Angela was pregnant.
Unfortunately, this had produced a while new world of problems for them. Tommy had been working with Angela to try and figure out how to get Ellie out before she was married, but Mayday had been dragging their feet and now time was up. Ellie had been caught with Riley, Angela was pregnant, and Gina was certainly going to try and get OfJoel killed. Ellie’s wedding was next week.
Angela’s pregnancy was announced, and the Miller household had people buzzing with excitement between that and the wedding, people buzzing around congraduating Joel that his teenage daughter was getting married to a pedofile, congratulating Tommy that he has a child on the way that will likely be abused under the system he helped create, and congratulating his wife for doing absolutly fucking nothing. Baby probably wasn’t even concieved during the ceremony, considering how much him and Angela fucked. Yeah, everything was shit.
Still, at least they could fuck.
Where Tommy had gotten a strap on and restraints, he’d never tell, but boy he was glad he did. Angela had tied his hands to his ankles, fucking Tommy’s butt with the strap and smaking his freckled skin red.
“Dirty little whore likes being beat? You like it to hurt?” She taunts him, fucking his tight hole open. She had been edging his cock for close to an hour now, his balls tied up and blue as she tortured him. Fuck, he never felt so good. Even before, when Tommy was having casual sex (a LOT of casual sex) and doing drugs (a LOT of not-so casual drugs) it never felt this good. Yes, he’s counting the time he had boy pussy sat on his face and girl cock up his ass.
“Tommy! It’s t-” Joel burst in the room. “What the fuck!”
Joel had seen Tommy naked, Joel had seen Tommy and Angela having sex PLENTY but not like this. Not with his fucking asshole just…. There… looking at him. Was he getting pegged?
Angela turned to look at him, her pale face flushed with exertion but certainly not embarrassment. “Hey Joel, you gonna join us?”
Joel smacks his face, not wanting to look. “No, for fucks sake. Tommy, it’s time.” He emphasizes.
“Oh shit!” Realizing what Joel is saying, he tried to get up, but his ankles are still in the air tied to his hands. Tommy falls off the bed with a thud.
*
You wake up to a hand on your mouth. Eyes opening wide, it takes a moment for them to adjust and see Joel staring down at you. For a moment, you relax as you think he wants a quick fuck, but then he’s pulling you out of bed.
He takes your hand after throwing your cloak on you. “We’re leaving.” He helps you shove on your shoes, and next thing you know he’s guiding you out of the back of the house.
“Joel!” You whisper. “What’s happening?!”
He put you behind the garage, gripping your face harshly. “Don’t say a fucking words, and stay here until I get you, okay?”
You’re frightened, but you trust him. You have no reason to, but you do.
Several minutes later, Joel appears behind the shed with a very wides eyes Ellie. You quickly hug her as she asks whats happening, but Joel moves you along.
“We’re getting you out.” Both of you.
Tommy comes, holding Angela’s hand. It’s Angela who speaks. “Anthony came through?” She asked Joel.
“He did. Had to make a lot of fucking promises, do a lot of fucking shit but we got it.”
She nods, smiling. ”Lets fucking go!”
You had to sneak down several blocks, over a mile you’d bet, in the darkness to get to another part of town. It developed houses that would be given to commanders' families should they have them, like where Ellie or Angela’s baby would go. No one lived there yet, babies were still rare. Just behind one, as the yard turned into the woods, a white van waited. Man in a Commander uniform that was ill fitting got out of the van, as did a driver. You suspected the attire was stolen. They opened the back door of the van.
“This has to be quick, Joel.” Angela said as Tommy helped her in. Joel ignored her, turning to Tommy as he’s about to say his goodbye to Angela.
“You need to go with her.”
Tommy scoffed. “Fucking sure. They’ll fucking kill her in Canada!”
“No, they won’t. I’ll make a statement, I’ll tell they you betrayed me and you’ve been working with Maday this whole time.”
Angela nodded. “I’ll tell them, Tommy. I have some weight, I’ll vouch for you.”
Tommy continued to look back between Angela and Joel, confused. “I can’t leave you, Joel.”
Joel sighed, holding Tommys shoulders. “Tommy, this whole shit show is my fault and I dragged you into it. You have a baby to think about now, okay?”
He considered this. “If I’m still in Gilead… Gilead can try and get it back like they did baby Nicole…”
“Can’t let that happen. And Tommy… I need you to get my baby out of here, okay? I trust you. I couldn’t protect Sarah…” Joel’s jaw locked at the memory of his first born, trying to remain strong. Tommy was not as brave, eyes pooling with tears. “I need to get Ellie out. I need her to be safe, okay? Our babies, our girls, I need to know they’ll get across safe.”
Ellie spoke up. “You’re not coming with?”
He turned to his daughter. “No, Ellie, I’m sorry.” Tommy put his hand on Tommy’s shoulder, and climbed into the van with Angela, placing a hand on her stomach. Joel held Ellie’s face in his hands. “There’s a second van you’ll meet up with, Riley is there… Tommy’s gonna take care of you, so is Angela, so is she.” Joel looked up to where you stood, and you nod. You’d take care of her. You’ll get that innocent girl out safely.
“Dad…” Her voice chokes. “I don’t wanna leave you… won’t you get in trouble if we leave? Just come with us! Gilead will kill you!”
He shook his head, smiling sadly. “No, baby girl, I can’t. Gilead won’t kill me, but Canada sure fucking will. The protection I have with Gilead is the same position that will have me dead in Canada. You have to leave, Bedford will-” He stops himself, looking away for a second before turning back to her. “I ain’t letting that happen to you. I need you to be strong, okay? Angela’s pregnant, I need you to helo her.” He shifted gears a bit. Ellie didn’t want to be a child, she wanted to be strong. “Ya’ll’re gonna look out for each other. You are all family now, got it?”
Ellie stiffened her lip, putting on her bravest face. “I got it. I’m gonna keep them safe. You gotta be safe though, okay? I’m gonna find you eventually. You can’t fucking escape me.”
That made Joel smile. “Good fucking girl. You fucking show em. You’re gonna go to school, and you’re gonna learn how to be everything Gilead tried to beat out of you, okay? Expose it all. They are gonna be so fucking afraid of you, Elizabeth Miller”
Ellie grinned despite the tears. “Hell yeah they are.” She climbed into the van, settling under Tommy’s arm. He was going to protect her.
The driver told Joel they needed to go, but Joel looked at you. “Five minutes. Get in the van.” The diver huffed, but did as he was told. Joel closed the van door. “I told you I was gonna protect you, beautiful.”
You nod, feeling dread at this goodbye. “I know. I always knew you would.”
“Watch out for Ellie, please? She’s just… She’s gonna be brave, she does better if she’s protecting someone else but… Her and Riley, they’re just kids, no matter what Gilead thinks.”
“I will.” You promise, the tears begin to come. “I am gonna miss you. I know this isn’t… This isn’t a huge romance or star crossed lovers but I do care about you. I care about your family.” A sniffle. “Well, not Gina.”
Joel chuckles at that, pulling you into an embrace and a kiss. “I know. I care about you too, that’s why I’m getting you out of here. You deserve better than this place.”
You melt into his embrace, letting his arms comfort you. “I’m kinda scared… All i’ve known is this place.”
“I know, I know… but you’ll do so good, I swear.” He takes your chin in his hand, making you look up at him. “You’re gonna be good, okay? I know how you are, I know how you love cock and pussy, but you gotta take it easy when you get out.”
“It’s not gonna be you…”
He smiles. “I know.” Joel pushes you against the van. “No one is ever gonna be me, are they?”
“No sir, no one.”
“Tommy ain’t ever gonna be me, neither is Angela?”
“No sir, none of them…”
Joel grinds his cock against your stomach. “I know they ain’t, sweet girl. I’m gonna give you a goodbye gift, something to remember me by.”
“Yes, yes, yes, yes” You chant as he hitches you leg up, pulling aside your panting as he pulls his cock out. “Give it to me…”
He thrust inside you, stinging as his fat cock pulls you apart but you don't do more than whimper, not wanting to give yourself away to everyone in that van. Joel fucks you while you touch your clit, trying to make this as quick as possible. It was a risk as it was, you weren’t going to draw this out.
“They are gonna examine you, you know that? You’re gonna have my cum dripping out of you for days. You want them?”
“Yes, yes Commander Miller… want you inside me…” Heat pools in your stomach, ready to cum, ready to take his seed inside you one last time. A parting gift.
“When they ask you…” Joel pants in your ear, thrust deep inside as his balls draw up. “When they ask you who you belonged to, when they ask whose name you took, what are you gonna say?”
You moan, cumming on his cock one more time. “Commander Miller, I belong to Commander Miller.”
He groans in pleasure. “And when they ask your name?”
“OfJoel! I am OfJoel.”
Joel released inside you, flooding you once more with his seed and pussing your still-cummig pussy.
Then, he set you down, and it was over.
Joel opened the door, gave you a kiss, and sent you inside. He mouthed a thak you to Angela for helping him pull this off despite all he’s done. More more look to you. One more to Tommy. One long, tear-filled I love you to Ellie, and he tapped the van. As it drove off, his eyes were on Ellie being held by Tommy as he shut the door.
You rode in silence, but you could feel Angela’s eyes on you. She knew what you did. Of course she did. Angela knew everything, but didn’t speak. Ellie was crying softly but pretending she wasn’t as she got snot on Tommy’s shirt. You thought what Joel’s fate would be, if he was right that his position would offer him safety or if his brother, two handmaids one who is pregnant and a child of Gilead and a wife all escaped out from under his nose? You wondered about your son who you were leaving behind… could you really leave without him? There were no options really.
“Is he lying?” Ellie spoke, pulling herself off Tommy. The van was almost pitched black, hiding her no doubt red face.
Angela, of course, spoke. “Maybe. But Joel has a lot of power in Gilead, and he produced 2 children… I mean, he was a founder. He might be punished, might not be given another handmaid but I don’t think he’s complaining. I think he’s fine.”
Another beat of silence before she spoke again. “This was all his fault, isn’t it. Gilead, all of it.”
Tommy tried to deny it. “No, no Ellie-”
“Yeah, it is.”
When you all arrive at the meet stop the drivers step with a jolt. No one was there. You sat waiting… waiting. Ellie starts asking questions, asking Angela where Riley is but no one knows. Finally, a car whips up to the van, and when it opens, there she is. Riley runs out of the car and into Ellie’s arms as she jumps out of the van to her friend. Relieved to see the girl, relieved she’s getting out, you prepare for them to drive out, but the door opens again…
Your son steps out of the car.
“Matthew?”
One Year Later….
Life was good. All of you had stayed together, trauma bonded from what you’d seen.
Tommy was put on trial, but the odds were stacked against the prosecutor. Gilead, including Joel, publicly condemned him. Angela spoke on the stand for his good treatment of her, Ellie spoke on his behalf, as did Riley and you, and soon they considered him little more than a bystander. Tommy played a good himbo.
He grew out his hair and a mustache, changed his last name. Him and Angela married, not out of love. There was affection, but it was for the safety of Riley. Ellie would be placed with Tommy since they were blood related, but Riley was a risk. Tommy promised Joel and Ellie he’d protect her. So, they married, they presented as a happy family with the baby she gave birth to, a little girl they named Alicia.
With Riley saying she wanted to stay with them, Tommy and Angela were able to keep both teenagers with them. Ellie and Riley were set up with a charity organization that tutored them to catch them up and were doing okay in that aspect. Riley had taken to therapy better than Ellie had, never wanting to talk. Some days were better than others. Some days she screamed at Tommy and some days she laid in bed for hours and hours. It wasn’t always easy, but she had support.
Riley suffered from nightmares. Having been married, she suffered sexual abuse from her far too old for her husband and frequently was jumpy around people and loud noises.
And you? You were reunited with your son. It was a confusing adjustment, one he doesn’t understand… but you’re honest with him and he’s honest with you. It gets better.
You still see him sometimes.
On the news, mostly. He makes half hearted propaganda about the missing “Children of Gilead” that his treacherous brother stole. The pregnant handmaid he watched his brother fuck. His own handmaid he shared with the previous 2. His daughter who he was teaching and who he risked everything to get across the border. His daughter’s friend, a wife that Gilead decided to frame as a child still now that it suited the narrative, that he watched grow up tha he refused to leave behind. The little boy he had no connection to, no reason to give a shit about, but he did because he was yours.
He didn’t really care. You could tell he didn’t care because you had seen him when he spoke with passion. Gilead was never getting you or these kids ever again. It didn’t matter. They were safe. So were you.
You, Tommy, Angela, Riley, Ellie, Matthew, Alicia, you all lived together and did your best to leave Gilead behind… but there were nights you remembered him, nights you thought about his cock as you touched yourself at night, and you’d always remember. He’d always have a part of you. Part of you would always be OfJoel.
****************
Like a fighting year later, I finish it. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!
I started this series hot off the tails of the wrong way and first chapter got like 300 and then it just.... dropped. I think my problem was i had no plan. Never really mapped it out what I was going to do chapter by chapter which is how usually do it for series!!!
My other issue i think it this series and myself never decided what i wanted to be. Was it a sexy silly story like Little Bird,the kylo ren series that inspred this? Or was it serious? Was Joel supossed to be a hot baddie or like in TWW where Joel is always mean to be the bad guy.
I dont know.
If anyone wants to write the handmade tale aus for Joel, FREE RANGE! dont gotta credit me r anyhing. Just do it better. Make it sexy and silly or make it a story with a narrative. just dont do this weird mix.
I hope it at least tied up loose ends
Thank you each and every person who showed support!! I still love Angela and my himbo tommy. we need more himbo tommy out there!!!!
as always lk thoughts!!
@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @dins-riduur-anthe @morallyinept @fan-fiction-floozyy @med494 @taliarose12 @flvrdoll @k-ra@sam-2me @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @moriartyyouwhore @hereforthepedrofanfic @alwaysmicado @noisynightmarepoetry @kyloispunk @jenna-ortega @lunitareads @labyrinthofheartagrams @swimmjacket @theywhowriteandknowthings @everyth1ngfan @movievillainess721 @syrupstuff @christinamadsen @darlingshame @genetics4life @stevngrant @crazysouthernlady @joeldjarin @gwendibleywrites @ladynightengale @justagalwhowrites @pedge-page @magpiepills @zliteraturehoe @lover-of-books-and-tea
#Joel miller#Joel miller x reader#blessed be the fruit#the handmaids tale#the handmaids take au#commander!joel#commander!Tommy#Tommy miller#dark!joel#the wrong way series#the last of us hbo#dark joel miller#the wrong way fic#non con#dub con#dark tlou#dark the last of us#dark au#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#tommy miller#tommy miller smut#sub tommy miller
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Dude I’m so confused when was the moon where JaggedTail said something about Rose and why did his design change from the ask to the moon????
My deepest apologies for the confusion, Jaggedtail didn't say anything about Rosehip in a moon update, it was mentioned in this ask response.
For his design: I've been trying to experiment with how much detail I want to put into ask responses, I felt that the characters weren't super recognizable so I was trying to draw their patterns but using their eye colors so that it was a limited palette and therefore less work but I think it was too confusing so I probably won't continue with it. His real colors are the ones in the moon updates, i was just trying something new to see how it looked. I think I will go back and tag all of the characters in my posts to try and limit issues like this in the future, I just need to block some time out for that, maybe after moon 22 is finished. Anyway, sorry, hope this helps clear things up!
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so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness) [1/4]
Ah, yes. The fic that made me realise I’m in desperate need of Cursed Spirit Gojou in my ever-growing favourite GoYuu tropes.
Content Warning!
Major Character Death. Other characters are disrespectful to the corpse.
I highly suggest you read the fic first, or just the fic, since I don’t think I was properly able to adapt it into drawings. While I managed to use roughly two weeks of on-and-off planning, researching, and storyboarding, I only had a full week to finish it. You can read more of my thoughts below the comic if you’re curious.
Title: so hold my hand (consign me not to darkness)
Author: qalb_al_louz
It’s ongoing, and as of this drawing, the fic is in its third chapter. While this is (sexually) SFW, always be mindful of the tags! Please keep yourself safe and sound.
Please read from right to left, and enjoy!
You can only upload 30 images in one post, huh Damn, I gotta divide it into parts
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
Alrighty, I'll put my watered down unhinged thoughts below. No extra drawings down there if you're curious haha (unless you want to see the storyboard and the characters' full body character sheet, lemme know). You can skip the stuff underneath the Keep Reading for all parts.
This fic had me grinning from ear to ear every time I read this. The atmosphere, how it goes from POV to POV—of pure fear and panic—and the peak excitement I got when Yuuji properly meets Gojou, like brooooo 😭
Gosh I cannot emphasise how much I love this fic. I’ve always been wanting to make a whole comic out of it, especially since it was 2 chapters and it doesn’t look like the author will update it, but it just… kind of forgotten ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_
But then the author posted a new chapter and I told myself this is a sign I should really start.
also goddamn I was so naive to think I can tackle 2 chapters as comic—no I was in fact cannot
The moment I laid my eyes on the first paragraph, things were portrayed very vividly in my mind. The panel, the angle, Gojou's head rolling down... I was like, hell yeah. Then I continued reading and I finally succumbed to my desire to draw this out.
At first I want to adapt this into a vertical format like those manhwas. However the longer I try to learn and storyboard it... I am simply not yet comfortable with it, especially for such a big project. Even the 1st storyboard starts vaguely vertical before the panels quickly crammed into that B4-B5 format lol. The first sketch estimated 69 (heh) pages for 90% of chapter 1. I said "no" for my own sanity and fully focused on the usual manga format and it was narrowed down to 60. Still a lot though, quantity and time-wise. So with a heavy heart, I can only do the majority of chapter 1 :”) I really really want to draw Sukuna talks back to Gojou—do you have any idea how good that scene was??? Gojou tried so hard to restrain himself, he’s so other I love him 😭
Due to the sheer length of this comic (I'm still in disbelief), I have limit lots of things, and that includes the drawing. If you've seen my other JJK fanarts, they are more rendered than this one. Well, this one is purely sketched with the help of the eraser to tidy up some lines. This is also the first fanart that I did purely on Photoshop, so I can control the typesets and drawings in one place. Usually, I use Photoshop for panels and typesetting and Krita for drawing.
I don't really like Photoshop's brush, but it did really well in curbing my perfectionist tendencies, so that's good.
It's also been quite a while since I draw in general (sobs) so... yeah, you might find differences, or not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!
I know setting is important, but maaan I genuinely won't miss rereading chapter 83-93 with a heavy focus on background and character locations. I just want to read the action and dialogue😭 However continuity is really important. But my spatial intelligence is almost non-existent even GPS sometimes can't help me. All I'm saying is that if you find some silly drawing mistakes, do forgive me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_I only drew all this in a week because otherwise I won't have another chance to complete this.
Well, lots of things I won't miss from this project, but haha let's talk about the characters instead because holy shit what was I thinking, starting this year drawing this many characters in the same project??? I have never drawn anyone here except for Yuuji, Gojou, Nanami and Megumi. I don't think I've ever drawn older Getou before. I already forgot how to draw my boy Yuuji and I gotta draw all these people???
This is what you call making a bad decision, kids. Don't do your "drawing warmup" after months of not drawing and tackling a project of a scale way bigger than you've ever tackled before.
Thank you for reading this far! I hope you find my complaint entertaining! But make no mistake, I genuinely still love the fic. Drawing this, even with all the headaches it gave me, only makes me adore this fic even more.
Thank you very much to each one of you who follows and leaves comments and tags on my silly art—it never failed to make my day :D And I sincerely wish this one also made your day or even made your minute! I'll see you in the next part!
#yuu's art#jjk-fic-fanart#jjk-ship#五悠#goyuu#goyu#5u#gojou x yuuji#shibuya arc#shibuya arc canon divergence#lots of characters on this one#kenjaku#chousou#mahito#jogo jjk#gojo satoru
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Patch 1.9 Full Event Summary! (Live Updates)
The 1.9 event summary got posted! I ran the patch notes through google translate and combined them with some translations from the official server. If I find anything else major I will update. Skin/Character previews can be found in my previous post, and I'll post some new character kit rundowns later! I will tag every spoiler post with the version number, so add that to your filters if you don't want to see anything about it.
Things You'll Care About
Full translated list is after this section.
Free Six Star for everyone: Semmelweiss, a mineral support that drains ally health to give them buffs based on their missing health.
First banner: Lucy, an intelligence DPS/support that spends Electricity to give their incantations extra effects, such as hitting more targets or buffing ally afflatus damage.
Second banner: Kakania, a plant support/tank/sub-healer that absorbs a portion of damage taken by allies and uses it to enhance her self-healing and damage.
Lorelei is a star afflatus five star support/sub dps. Her incantations haven't been released but her i1 Passive gives a buff depending on the most common card type in your hand, and her i3 passive gives her moxie when critting with her ult (Just Star Things). She is obtained from the new roguelite mode so may be accessible to players starting after 1.9.
Free Sonetto skin for logging in!
New skins for Mesmer Jr., Desert Flannel, Voyager, Regulus, and Jessica.
Thirty combined free pulls just for logging in. I'm sure clear drops will be showered on you elsewhere in the event.
Special banner for a single 6* rate up selector (If you win the 50/50 on this banner you get to choose ANY six star up until 1.6 excluding JNZ! This is a crazy good deal and you can pick up anyone you missed before the next saga of the story)
New main story chapter of course. Chapter Six is called Vereinsamt. Apparently, 1.7 is not a direct continuation of 1.5, but 1.9 will combine the two for a proper ending.
Brand new roguelite mode. The reception to 1.6's attempt was pretty poor, so I think this is a revised version that will be left in the game permanently.
New story events for Lucy and Kakania.
New anecdotes for Eagle and Semmelweiss.
New maps for Three Doors! I enjoyed the Mesmer storyline so I'm interested.
Reruns of all the skins from 1.1 - 1.4. The London wilderness will now be permanently available in the shop.
All of the standard stuff you can find in events. There's a shop, new wilderness, free items all over the place, and puzzle side events. Uttu is going to be there. You know the drill.
Edit 1: They're finally adding a system to let you seamlessly connect water tiles in the wilderness. No more dumb transition tiles!
Edit 2: They're adding new animation upgrades to older skins!?!? Confirmed list so far: Jukebox Bkornblume, Halloween Sotheby, Halloween X, Jukebox Matilda, Summer Pickles, Wild West Tennantt.
Full List
Some of these are literally just titles in the patch notes so if I don't elaborate that is why!
Login event: free 6* character: Semmelweiss, a mineral support that drains ally health to give them big damage buffs.
Free Sonetto skin
Login event: free decalog (exclusively for Lucy's banner)
Login event: daily free Unilogs (total 20 Unilogs)
Login event: free Matilda Portray (why did we wait a year for p1 Matilda lol)
Login event: free clear drops and anniversary item
Login event: free Wilderness building
Login event: free golden materials
Shop crystal drop reset (I think this means the "first time buy" bonus is reset?)
Special banner: free single 6* rate up selector (If you win the 50/50 on this banner you get to choose ANY six star up until 1.6 excluding JNZ! This is a crazy good deal and you can pick up anyone you missed before the next saga of the story)
New main story chapter: Vereinsamt
New story event: Lucy
Limited collection: Thoughts Alone in a Tank.
New story event: Kakania
Event: Practice of Phantom starts.
New permanent gamemode: Roguelite
Three Doors: new maps
New function: select BGM on suitcase lobby
Anecdotes: Eagle and Semmelweiss
Mane's Bulletin: Abyss, Opera, and Lord of Dreams
UTTU: Mesmer Jr. skin
New function: event atlas
Limited collection: Promise of the Lake
New Jukebox: Desert Flannel skin
New skins: Regulus, Jessica, Voyager new skins
New Wilderness set: Laplace
New packs
Patch 1.1 skins rerun
Patch 1.2 skins rerun
Patch 1.3 skins rerun
Patch 1.4 skins rerun
Patch 1.1 Wilderness is added to the shop permanently
Event starts: Little Steel Gold Rush
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