#it is currently time to watch movie reviews until i fall asleep or get bored

[groovylittleclown]

So my mom has this nightly routine of watching home renovation shows because they keep getting recommended to her and she just does not like searching for something interesting to watch. I think she has them ranked by different moods and the amount of time she has before bed. Anyway, I've been watching them with her at night and thinking about my future home and what it would look like and what being on one of those shows would look like.

Guys(neutral), I cannot go on a home renovation show. I see a character I am mildly interested in and I start making noises like a rabid dog and shaking my arms like I'm trying to fly. I can only imagine how excited I would be to have my dream home done and decorated. They'd think I would need an exorcism!! I'd be all over the internet as that person who tries to be a plane after seeing my dream home!!

Not to mention my fantasy of home decor is a complete u-turn from the ways all the shows decorate!!! I love bright fun colors and funky shapes and wacky furniture and things that look like other things and what can only be described as clutter!!! I believe I would simply perish if I went on one of those shows. I would cease to exist. Burst into flames on live television because I got too excited.

[cerebrumrott]

Obey Me! Shall we Date?

Brothers x MC

Synopsis: MC's surprise return home

Lucifer

He had noticed the odd looks Diavolo had been giving him the entire week before. Each time he had questioned him on it he would get odd evasive responses and giggling.

While he would have loved to interrogate him further, His day had been difficult enough as is with Mammon’s latest disaster.

Getting home he went straight for his office needing at least an hour away from his brothers even if that meant it would be spent doing paperwork.

Lucifer fumbled with the buttons on his school jacket with one hand while opening the door to his office with the other. Stepping inside he didn't bother to look up as he tossed his jacket onto the back of a nearby chair before heading over to his shelf and pouring himself a drink. He was half way through uncorking a bottle when he heard someone cough behind him.

Looking at his desk, you sat atop it with an unamused frown on your face as you stared at him clearing having been there this entire time seeing you were cross legged and leaning your chin into your hand.

“I come all this way to surprise you and you go straight for the-'' You don't have time to finish your sentence as he has already crossed the room and is dragging you to your feet in a spine crackingly tight hug.

You both stood there for what felt like forever just holding each other as he buried his face into your shoulder feeling the stress slowly leaving him.

He had planned on doing his paperwork for the rest of the night but now there was something else he would much rather do.

Mammon

Ever since you had returned back to the human world he had done nothing but pout waiting for you to come home. And yes he meant Home no matter how many times Lucifer tried to correct him your home was here in the House of Lamentation not in some stupid human world where he couldnt even see you.

He called you every night before bed but it still wasn’t the same… So caught up in his own pouting he didn’t notice the looks his brothers gave him as he sat down for dinner.

He was filling his plate trying to grab his favorite before Beel took everything when he swore he felt something brush against his leg under the table. He scratched at his shin with his heel not thinking much of it until something grabbed hold of both of his ankles and yanked him from his chair, pulling him under the table.

Mammon would vehemently deny that he screamed but he let out a high pitched squeal as he was dragged under the table to the sounds of his brothers wheezing laughter.

Struggling and kicking out Mammon soon found the source of his panic was just you pulling a prank on him.

Mammon can’t get any of his words out as he just tackles you to the floor crushing you in a tight hug only slightly furious at your ridiculous way of announcing you have returned.

He wouldn’t let you go so you had to eat dinner on the floor under the table…

Leviathan

Even after you went back to the human world you both still played games and watched movies only now it was through the internet. He would often talk to you late into the night until one of your would fall asleep or your call would disconnect on its own.

Before you left he had been smart enough to snag one of your blankets and kept it in his bed tub with him sleeping with it each night. It ended up replacing his Ruri chan body pillow which had been banished to the other side of the room where he kept all the extra pillows and blankets from your movie nights together.

One day after RAD he rushed home to grab something to eat and then make a B-line to his room as you both had planned a gaming marathon together wanting help beating a level that had been bothering you for some time. In such a hurry to make it to his room, Levi didn’t even process the whispering between his brothers as they watched him scarf down a sandwich and some chips before grabbing an energy drink and retreating to his room.

It was dark when he entered, though this wasn't anything new to him as he just made his way straight to his desk and flopped down in his chair. Throwing his headphones on he wheeled forward only for his knees to bump into something under his desk.

Looking down confused, Leviathan let out a high pitched scream as he toppled backwards and was thrown out of his chair as you lept out from your hiding place.

Your laughter turned into worry as Leviathan scrambled to collect himself, tail lashing back and forth behind him as you had startled him so bad he poofed into his demon form.

Laughing so hard there were tears in your eyes you chuckled out an apology before Leviathan was crushing you in a hug.

Your gaming night turns into a just cuddling till you both fall asleep on top of each other in his bed-tub.

Satan

He had been going back his day like any other. Sitting in his room reading. He was hoping to finish this latest novel of his before that night as he would have another excuse to call you and to talk to you.

Ever since you left he has made it a habit to always talk to you about his thoughts on a book after he reads it. Or at least text you about it if it's far too late at night.

Little did he know you had a surprise in store for him for this latest review of his. You had managed to get Lucifer to sneak you in without being seen by the others and had taken up camp at the top of the stairs in Satan’s room.

You watched him from atop the stairs peeking out between the railings just watching him as he went about his day. For a long while he was sprawled out on the bed reading, you couldn't help but smile everytime he checked his phone opening your chat to see if you had been online recently.

It was fun at first to just spy on him but after ten minutes it got boring fast. So you switched tactics and started taking videos of him… except he was still reading… So you switched tactics again! You snatched a book from nearby and ever so carefully held it as far out from your spot on the stairs as possible before dropping it watching Satan jump with a start looking around confused before just going back to his book like nothing had happened.

“Are you kidding me Satan?!?” You finally exclaim glaring down at him with a frown. “MC?!?” He exclaims right back looking at you surprised. His shock doesn't last long as he is storming up the spiral staircase to tackle you onto the small landing narrowly missing a large stack of books.

He is furious at first that you just sat up there picking your nose this entire time when you could have been doing something together though it doesn't last long. He can never stay mad at you.

You can’t help your laugh as he carries you down to his couch, holding you against him with one arm while he opens his book with the other going back to reading with a pout. With a laugh you just settle against him and begin to ask about what he is reading. With a small smile he catches you up to where he is in the book.

Asmodeus

He had been out at the club all night with Solomon. Which is what he had been doing for the majority of the time that you were gone as he couldn't feel lonely if he couldn't even think with the blasting music all around him.

Though as he made his way slowly up stairs to his room, he felt his true feelings return to him. He missed you so much, why did you ever even have to go back to the stupid human world? Why couldn’t he have done with you!? It's not like he would be missing anything important and besides what if you need protecting?

Sure you two are absolutely going to be out having fun and spending time together like a newlywed couple on their honeymoon for the most part, But still!

His previous mood now totally faded, Asmo pouts as he makes his way up to his door half heartedly pushing it open as he steps into the dark and cold room. Locking the door behind him he flicked the lights on kicking his shoes off prepared to just go crash into bed and deal with the repercussions in the morning. Though when he saw the bed he nearly passed out on the spot. Though it wasn't really the bed so much what was on the bed.

Sprawled out and hogging all of the blankets face buried into his pillow was you. Snoring your pretty little head away while he just stared and gawked at you convinced he was passed out in a gutter somewhere dreaming.

When he realized he wasn't dreaming and that instead of cuddling up with you he was just standing there like a fool Asmodeus got to work. He immediately began to strip himself of all his uncomfortable club wear until he was down to his boxers. Hitting the lights Asmo practically took a flying leap into the bed as he forced his way into your arms hugging you tight against him.

He was just so happy to have you here, at first he thought of waking you up though judging from the darkness under your eyes you needed the sleep just as much as he did.

Pressing a kiss to your cheek, he snuggled in for the night more than happy just to have you back with him. And besides, there will always be later for fun.

Beelzebub

He was headed home after a rough game of Fangol. They had won of course, but just barely. He was starving by the end of it but he didn't want to go to any place on the way home as he currently reeked.

So he all but ran home with his bag thrown over his shoulder completely motivated by the thought of the leftover dinner he had stashed in the fridge.

Beel abandoned his bag on the foot of the stairs leading up to the bedrooms and made a b-line straight for the kitchen. Though as he got closer he could smell something that made his stomach grumble. Pushing through the doorway he was absolutely taken aback at the feast laid out before him.

There were at least ten different take out dishes all laid out on the counter before him and at the opposite end the most delicious looking meal of all was standing.

You had heard of Beel's big game from Lucifer and ofc you weren’t about to miss out on celebrating, and what better way to celebrate than with a big meal of all your favorite foods? So you had spent the better half of the afternoon running around getting all your favorites while watching the stream of Beel’s big game.

You were actually still watching the stream of the game when Beel walked in unbeknownst to you. You were watching a replay of a particularly devastating tackle of his when you felt arms wrapping around you. The yelp of surprise that came out of you was soon forgotten as you were being smothered against Beel as he swung you around like a toy nuzzling into the side of your face.

“Yes Beel I missed you too! Please put me down” Beel gently set you back on your feet before you both pulled up stools and dug into your collection of food.

You don't think you had ever seen Beel this happy before, it was to the point where he was practically vibrating with happiness, the smile not once having left his face.

While Beel eats you begin to tell him everything that has happened while you were away. Some of which he already knows but he looks at you with awe and interest regardless taking large bites of his favorite burger in between your explanations. You two were back and were you were meant to be. With each other and that was all that mattered to Beel.

Belphegor

He had been asleep in the attic when you returned, the others all away at school still. So you did what anyone would and clambered into bed next to him making yourself comfortable as you shoved him over and started to scroll through your phone.

An hour easily passed before you felt yourself doze off curling into Belphie, pulling a spare blanket over the two of you before passing out.

When you awoke Belphie was no longer curled up peacefully at your side. Rather he had taken to laying atop you his face squished against your chest as he drooled slightly on your shirt leaving a prominent wet spot on the fabric.

You didn't mind in the slightest as he was so cute in that moment you couldn't help the smile that rose on your face. Running your fingers through his hair, you softly pressed kisses against his face knowing he’d wake up soon enough. And you were right as you scratch softly on his head he opened one eye to peer up at you through shaggy bangs.

“Good to see you awake” You say with a smile and before you can say anything else he pounces on you. Your face is bombarded with kisses and nuzzles and is he purring???

Belphie isn’t about to let you leave after this. I hope you are comfortable cause he is going to hold you there until he feels ready to get up. You have to pee? Too bad. Hungry? He can have Beel bring you all home take out. Legs asleep? Perfect now you can't run away

You two end up sleeping most of the day away until dinner comes and even then he refuses to let you leave his side. Instead you both agree to at least go down stairs to his room so Beel can bring you both dinner and you can lay in his actual bed instead of the kinda smelly attic one.

[hyucksong]

nct dream reacts to you falling asleep in class

   The math professor was droning on and on about solving logarithms and exponentials, the whiteboard being erased repeatedly and replaced with new problems. Almost everyone was in a dream-like state, their own eyes lulling open and closed. You already learned about the topic last year, and the Pre-Cal teacher himself said it was just an Algebra review, so why stay awake? 

   You sat back in your seat, arms crossed with a thick hoodie hanging on your frame that protected you from the cold classroom, only encouraging sleep. Your head fell back gently and your eyes closed as your body sunk into the chair. There was nothing better than sleeping in class. 

lee minhyung;

He looks over from his seat next to you, his hair messy from running his hand through it several times over the past hour. His clothes were disheveled, something you pointed out when he first walked through the door. He merely sat down and mocked your teasing before getting paper out to take notes during class. Seeing your slouching figure, he turned his head to make fun of you for sleeping during class, but his breath hitched in his throat when he saw your mouth slightly parted with your chest softly rising up and down in a massive hoodie. His imagination ran wild, and he wondered if you would wear his hoodie if he brought it for you. He ignored the intense thumping in his chest and took out his phone discreetly, taking a picture of you for ��blackmail reasons.” He would deny all accusations and teasing from his friends during lunch when he opened his phone and his home screen was you cutely snoring away. 

huang renjun; 

He’s sitting behind you in class, diligently taking notes about the boring subject when he notices your hair begin to splay over his desk. He looks up, expected to be glaring at a playful set of eyes, but instead, he finds the back of your head contorting your neck in a weird position as you slept. He frowns, annoyed at the hair on his paper, but because you seemed tired lately he just kept it to himself, instead, opting to push your hair way. The second his slender fingers brushed against your hair, his heart stopped. The way it felt between his fingers made his ears turn red, and for the rest of the class he could only think about you sitting on his lap and him braiding your hair as you watched movies at his place. He couldn’t even respond to you when you sweetly told him ‘bye’ after class, his fight or flight mode getting triggered at the messy yet cute state of your hair, his imagination running to cuddling you on a warm Sunday morning while the both of you woke up with a severe case of bed head. 

lee donghyuck; 

Your best friend since middle school was minding his own business in the seat across from you, not paying attention to the teacher’s rambling. His fingers played with the frayed string on your shared friendship bracelets from years ago, a small smile quietly making it’s way onto his tanned faced. He looked up to see what you were doing, now that you had invaded his thoughts, and was surprised to not see you making an ugly expression at him. Instead, you had a peaceful expression, one that Donghyuck could look at for hours, and had looked at for hours several times at your weekly sleepovers. His eyes traced over the familiar contours of your face, not caring if anyone saw. The second you shifted in your seat, however, caused his eyes to divert somewhere else and his heart to skip a beat. It skipped even harder when he saw the same bracelet he was wearing still sitting comfortably on your wrist. 

lee jeno; 

He was the teacher’s aid for this class period, as he had an extra free class spot on his schedule. He was scrolling through his phone with his headphones on from his spot next to the teacher’s desk when his battery warned him of low power. SIghing, he switched off his phone and tucked it into the front pocket of his jeans before letting his eyes roam around the room, and they naturally focused on you. You looked like hell --  who didn’t in Junior year -- but, for some reason, Jeno found that enduring; it was opposite from what he usually liked in girls: well-dressed (like him), and smart (like him). Clearly from the way you were dressed and the test you failed that he just graded, you weren't any of that. Smirking, he crumbled up a piece of loose-leaf paper from his bag and waited until the coast was clear before throwing it at you. He ignored the stares of the judging students and reveled in the jump of your body and glare of your glossy eyes.  

na jaemin; 

He sat behind you, doodling on his page, bored, when he noticed your back slouch and heard the small breaths flow past your lips and nose. A smile came to his face, and he brought his fingers up to your back, gently tracing a heart into your hoodie. You shifted, sitting up straight and looking back at him with tired eyes. He shook his head, not wanting to talk while the teacher was lecturing, and motioned for you to go back to your position. You obliged, almost falling back into an immediate sleep. Jaemin’s heart fluttered as his fingers ran over your clothes, yearning to touch the actual soft skin of your back that your smooth nape gave way to. He drew his name and yours with a heart around it, he drew hearts, and he wrote ‘I love you’. After he grew bored with that, his hands tangled themselves in your hair, and he spent the rest of the class braiding it. He could only give you a shy smile after class ended and you woke up, feeling the back of your head with a confused look on your face.  

zhong chenle; 

Chenle wasn’t one to stare at his crush in class, nor was he one to pay full attention in class. He was always stuck in some kind of limbo of consciousness, and that’s the way he liked it. At least, that’s how it was until you were the one he started to like. He doesn’t know why you’re the specific crush that changed it all for him, but now his mind was always focused on you and your laugh, or on your lush cheeks and your plush lips. It was a problem because Chenle was currently failing math because of you. He didn’t even sit close to you, yet somehow he still stared at you all class period. He doesn’t know what came over him, but he started to quickly take notes about the logarithms in class with newfound vigor. The bell rang to signal the end of class and your figure stretched and yawned cutely, looking around with sleep in your eyes. Chenle dropped off the notes at your desk, hastily waving at you before bolting out of the class, cheeks and ears stained red. You smiled to yourself, and placed them in your math binder, setting a reminder for yourself to thank him tomorrow. 

park jisung; 

Shy and quiet, though not the best math student, even though his ears were always focused on what the teacher was saying. That was Jisung, the cute boy who sat diagonal from you. The class was boring, yes, but Jisung still paid attention and took extra notes, God knows his grade needed it. But the sunlight was shining so perfectly on your slumbering body that his gaze was stolen from the teacher. He loved sitting diagonally from you because he could watch the side of your face get illuminated so perfectly by the morning sun. He could watch as you stretched and yawned, and he could watch as you pushed the hair behind your ears, sometimes sparing him a shy glance. His head rested on his hand, and his eyes were swimming with hearts as he looked at you. He didn’t care what anyone else said. This wasn’t just ‘young love’; it was love. And, since he loved you so much, he poked your arm with the erase nub of his pencil until you woke, and pointed at the teacher, sending a soft smile your way in response to your tired pout. He loved you, so he wanted you to pass the upcoming quiz instead of listening to you complain about failing it, even though you didn’t listen to the teacher class periods prior. 

[introvertguide]

The Gold Rush (1925); AFI #58

The next film that we had for review is a classic comedy from the 1920s, The Gold Rush (1925). This movie is often considered to be Charlie Chaplin’s best work and what he considered to be the film he most wanted to be remembered for. I watched the original cut that is a little bit longer than later versions and has a simple piano score. The movie was re-released in 1942 with an orchestral score that was nominated for Best Song and Best Score at that year’s Academy Awards. We will go over the plot and it probably doesn’t need a spoiler warning since the movie is a century old and there have been so many parts of this film that other movies and TV shows have paid homage too...but it is better to be safe than sorry:

SPOILER WARNING!!! PLOT POINTS FOR A 95 YEAR OLD MOVIE COMING UP!!! THIS WARNING IS SLIGHTLY SARCASTIC BUT I DON’T WANT MAIL ABOUT IT!!! 

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The movie begins with establishing shots of men hiking through the snow to represent the Alaskan gold rush. Vast uninhabitable plains are suddenly full of people trying to find gold. Amongst this group is Big Jim, a prospector that found a gold deposit on his claim when a blizzard strikes. Another is a little tramp, who is credited as The Lone Prospector (Charlie Chaplin), a simple man who is just wandering and trying to find his fortune. Both of these men run into a sudden blizzard and are driven into the cabin of Black Larsen, a man who is a wanted criminal. Larsen tries to throw them out, but he is overpowered and the three settle in for the storm. 

The storm goes on so long that one of the three needs to leave to find food. They pick cards and Larsen loses, so he is sent out to go find food. Larsen runs into and kills two policemen then finds the claim of Big Jim. Larsen decides to wait out the storm then flee with the gold before Big Jim can come back. Hopefully he will die of starvation in the cabin.  

Speaking of starvation, the tramp and Big Jim have run out of food and the big man is starting to hallucinate that the little tramp is a chicken. The big man chases the little tramp around the cabin going in and out of a ravenous haze with a shotgun. A bear breaks in while the two are fighting and the tramp is able to shoot it so the two men now have food. This sounds like a horror movie or something out of The Revenant, but it is done in a very comical way.

The two leave the cabin once the storm subsides to find their fortunes. Big Jim goes to his claim and runs into Larsen, who knocks out Big Jim with a shovel. Larsen attempts to leave with some gold but is killed in a sudden avalanche. Big Jim comes to eventually, but he stumbles away until he gets to a town and can’t remember how he got there. He also can’t remember how to get to his gold, so he decides he must find the little tramp and the cabin which will jog his memory about the location of his claim.

The tramp wandered until he found a boom town that apparently was built overnight. He enters a happening dance hall and sees a beautiful girl who is bored and trying to avoid the advances of the local ladies man. Her name is Georgia and she tells Jack, the ladies man, that she would rather dance with the most deplorable looking tramp and proceeds to grab the lone prospector and dances with him. The little guy is smitten and, after a few chance encounters, invites Georgia and her group of friends to have New Year’s Eve dinner with him. She accepts as a joke and completely forgets. The tramp did not forget and scrounges up enough money for a nice meal and waits for the girls to celebrate. He waits so long that he falls asleep and dreams of a successful dinner party in which he entertains the girls with a puppet dance involving forks and bread rolls.

He wakes up and walks the streets feeling depressed and lonely. Georgia, however, does remember the invitation and goes to the house at which the tramp is staying. She finds a set table with a meal and presents and suddenly feels bad for treating the tramp so badly. She mentions to her friends and Jack that she wants to find the tramp, which angers Jack and inspires him to write a note that says she wants to talk. The tramp is given the note when he returns to the dance hall, but is intercepted by Big Jim, who promises to make the tramp into a millionaire if he can help him find his claim. The tramp tells a confused Georgia that he got the note and will return to take her out of this life.

Big Jim and the prospector get to the cabin, but there is another blizzard (it’s the Klondike, it happens a lot) and they are not able to go out for the gold right away. During the night, the cabin is blown to the edge of a cliff and is teetering on the edge. There is some humor about not tipping the house until the two are able to successfully escape and they happen to have ended up right next to the claim.

A year passes according to a dialogue card, but the little tramp was not able to find Georgia. He and Big Jim take a boat back to the continental states. The press is there and a member wants to get a picture of the tramp in his old mining outfit. He puts on his old clothes and has a mishap while posing for a picture and falls down some stairs right next to Georgia. She is taking the boat and assumes he is a stowaway and tries to save him from the ship’s crew. She is made aware that he is now a millionaire and she joins him for a picture in which the two kiss.

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While writing the synopsis from my notes and comparing it to other online summaries, I realize that there are parts of this film that sound like a horror film. Two men are fighting for survival out on the Klondike during a storm with nothing to eat and start considering cannibalism like something from the Donner Party. In the midst of a fight over a shotgun in which a very large man is attempting to kill a much smaller man, a bear (and this is a real trained bear in some of the scenes) breaks into the cabin and the two must now kill it. I think I have seen this movie and it wasn’t a comedy. This film has murder, assault, bear attacks, sexual harassment, and dog kicking. I am not sure it could be made today and I am sure that many aspects would be cut. But this is why these films are so interesting, it was a creation from a previous time and it reveals what was socially acceptable in a different era. I find it fascinating.

As old as this film is, some of the more famous scenes have been copied in film and TV more recently. The quick little dance with the dinner roles has been copied by Curly from The Three Stooges in 1935, Robert Downy Jr. in 1992, Johnny Depp in 1993, Grandpa Simpson in 1994, and Amy Adams in 2011. A Walter Lantz character named Chili Willy the Penguin had a couple of adventures that very closely imitated the “starving in the cabin” scenes with Chaplin and Big Jim. I have not seen the films, but IMDB and Wikipedia claim that the hanging cabin scene has been used in a couple of Bollywood movies - Michael Madana Kama Rajan (1990) and Welcome (2007).

There are two more films on the AFI list starring Charlie Chaplin, so I don’t want to go too in depth into his life at this point. I do want to mention that he cofounded United Artists distribution with D.W. Griffith, Mary Pickford, and Douglas Fairbanks. This allowed him to have complete control over all aspects of his films, so everything you see is 100% his vision. He wrote, directed, produced, edited, scored, and starred in almost all of his films. We don’t see that much these days because there is some studio meddling in almost every film, so it is refreshing to see a creative work from a single source.

So does this film deserve to be on the AFI 100? Beyond a shadow of a doubt. This is a very simple movie that comes from the very infancy of the media, yet I consider it to be better than most current films. It has a good story despite having no dialogue and set pieces that are still copied a century later. This is truly the work of a genius. Would I recommend it? I am upset if you haven’t seen it yet. It is only 75 minutes, it is very entertaining, and it is an easy to digest piece of American culture. Go watch it right now. If you have already seen it, go watch it again with somebody who hasn’t seen it. This is the kind of film that the AFI Top 100 movies was created around, basically a reason to go back and review quality film from the past. Well worth the time and I can’t recommend it enough. Please give it a view.

[graemereviewsdisneymovies]

Fantasia (1940)

I thought this review would be short and then I just sort of kept writing. Sorry about that.

The third film in the Disney Animated Canon is the first anthology film, and to this day the longest feature film Disney has ever released. Early Disney films hang around hour, Renaissance films hang around 90 minutes, and Revival/modern era films generally around 100 minutes. The original and restored cuts of Fantasia are 126 minutes (just over 2 hours), and it was originally released with a 15 minute intermission. Similar to Snow White, this one seems like just as much an experiment as a feature film, as it’s essentially a series of music videos for classical music. It began life as The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, which was meant to be a Silly Symphonies short that would be a comeback for Mickey Mouse. Then the budget went past what Disney would make back from a short, so Disney animated 6 more sequences, all set to classical music, and threw in live action scenes of music critic Deems Taylor as a Master of Ceremonies and the Philadelphia Orchestra (who recorded all the music except The Sorcerer’s Apprentice). It works out to be significantly longer than either of the preceding films in the canon, at 2 hours.

This is the first Disney Animated Canon film I’d seen at all as a child - I saw the Night On Bald Mountain short at school once, although I had very faint memories of it and I have no idea why we were watching it. And my teacher called it Night On Bare Mountain, for some reason, I specifically remember that. Also my childhood association with a few pieces of classical music may have affected my opinions on a few of the recordings.

After Taylor explains the idea behind the film, the first piece of music beings. He shows back up between every segment of the movie to introduce each piece of music and what the animation will do.

Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (the generic creepy castle pipe organ song) opens on footage of the orchestra, mostly in silhouette, against brightly lit coloured backgrounds. A few minutes in, it turns to strange abstract animation, which continues to the end of the song. At the end of the song, it returns to the orchestra. There’s not really much to say about this part. The music is good, the visuals are nice, but it’s not particularly memorable.

Taylor introduces the next piece with a comment that’s become hilarious in hindsight. I thought it was dry sarcasm while I was watching the movie. While explaining the history of the suite, he says that “the ballet it’s from isn’t very popular, but the suite is”. He’s talking about Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker. Apparently the ballet was a huge flop on initial release, and didn’t become the Christmas classic it is today until the late 60’s, which also explains why the animation has absolutely nothing to do with the story. It follows fairies, dancing plants, fish, and the changing seasons as brought on by the fairies, who show up again at the end. The dancing flowers were particularly memorable and fun to watch.

Dukas’ The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the most iconic short, starring Mickey Mouse as the titular apprentice, who enchants a broom to carry water for him, despite a lack of control over his magic. He marches around with the broom a few times, falls asleep, conducts the music while pointing at the starts and causing them to twinkle brighter in his dream, and wakes up to find the room flooded. He murders the broom with an axe, but the broom reforms and every splinter or broom forms a whole new one and each one carries more water. The sorcerer, who is not named on screen, but is officially named Yen Sid (real creative name, Disney) wakes up, comes downstairs, fixes the problem, and swats Mickey with the broom. This one feels most like a Silly Symphonies short, because that’s what it was originally meant to be. Probably the most memorable overall, compared to the other shorts which mostly have a few memorable shots or scenes. The music is good, the animation is good, and it introduced a redesign of Mickey that’s still in use today.

Before Stravinsky’s Rite Of Spring, Mickey walks up to the conductor, tugs on his coat tail, says hi, and leaves. The lighting allows Mickey to appear entirely in silhouette, hiding the fact that animation was decades away from Roger Rabbit style integration with live action. Then someone knocks over the chimes, which is meant to be some kind of comic relief, I guess.

The Rite Of Spring opens on the Earth forming, and has a spectacular sequence with lava and volcanoes followed by what was probably at the time a believed to be scientifically accurate depiction of the rise and fall of the Dinosaurs. A T-Rex fights a Stegosaurus, while the other dinosaurs watch as if they’re about to film the fight and put it on youtube or something, and then all leave when the Stegosaurus loses. They look almost comically disappointed by the ending, as if they’d lost a small bet over the winner instead of just watched a death. Then all the vegetation dies, they try to migrate, they all die, and the Earth floods. Stravinsky was the only composer alive to see his music put to animation in Fantasia, and he hated the sequence. I didn’t. The lava and the dinosaur fight are both great, and I’m not familiar with The Rite Of Spring so the rearrangement of the piece doesn’t annoy me.

After this, Deems Taylor announces an intermission. In some cut’s, anyway. I’ll get into that later. Following the intermission, there’s a short jam session, and then we’re introduced to The Soundtrack, a stylized representation of the soundtrack on a reel of film.

Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony follows a group of mythological creatures holding a festival for Bacchus, which is interrupted when Zeus (looking an awful lot like his later appearance in Hercules, but blue) decides to throw lightning at everyone for no discernable reason other than being a dick. The animation is nice, but this short is better known because of the censorship of one of the centaurs, who has been cut from the film though a combination of pan and scan zoom ins, re-editing, and being completely erased from one scene, on the grounds that it was… racist. Really racist. Starting with the 1969 re-release, Fantasia has been completely blackface donkey centaur free, which is nice. This segment was good. The music is nice, but the animation wasn’t a huge standout to me.

Ponchielli’s Dance of the Hours was, to be completely honest, my least favorite short. It’s about dancing animals, focusing for most of the short on Hippos and Alligators. There’s nothing wrong with it, it just didn’t stick out to me the way some of them did. The music was good, the animation was good, there’s nothing actually wrong with it, it was just not as good as the rest of the shorts.

The final short, and my personal favorite, is the only one that consists of more than one piece of classical music. Mussorgsky’s Night On Bald Mountain and Schubert’s Ave Maria share a short, which contains some stellar animation and great creepy imagery. Chernabog the demon (heavily implied to be Satan himself by Deems Taylor in his introduction for the short, but he’s since been identified as an obscure Slavic deity, because… reasons) is suitably macabre and creepy, and most of the short consists of him being worshipped by ghosts and skeletons, before the church bells ring, the spooky scary followers go back to the graveyards, and Chernabog is forced back into the mountain by the bells and the sunlight. A procession of people walking through the forest carrying candles sings Ave Maria, signalling the coming of the morning. The music is great, the animation is great, and I’m probably biased because I love horror movies but I just really like this part of the movie.

Fantasia has been re-edited several times. Besides the removal of that one racist centaur, there’s been re-releases that remove or trim the live action sections, resulting in Deems Taylor being dubbed due to lost audio in some of his restored scenes in some cuts of the movie.

On the subject of audio, it was the first commercial film released in Stereo Sound. The original release boasted the “Fantasound” speaker system. Given that the movie relies so much on visuals and sound, I feel like I haven’t been able to truly appreciate it, given that I watched it on a fairly small screen, wearing headphones. It deserves to be watched in at least 5.1 Surround (or if you have the setup for it, there was a blu-ray release with 7.2 Surround). I, as a broke college student, do not have a large screen tv, or a surround sound system, but I imagine that they would add a lot to the film. However, it’s currently in the Disney Vault with the exception of Netflix.

The animation also improves dramatically overall compared to Snow White and Pinocchio. Rite Of Spring and Night On Bald Mountain in particular have scenes that are vast improvements on the previous films. I would love to see a theatrical re-release of this.

It was meant to be updated and changed every year, with segments being taken out and replaced with new ones, but this idea was scrapped when it didn’t do well at the box office - World War II cutting off distribution to Europe didn’t help it’s chances - despite being mostly critically acclaimed on release. Later re-releases helped it to gain its current acclaim, though it’s still considered somewhat of a mixed bag, and it’s aimed more at adults or teenagers than the rest of the canon. The usual target age group of Disney is likely to just get bored for most of the runtime, then terrified by Night On Bald Mountain. It eventually received a sequel, Fantasia 2000, in 1999, 54 years later. If we’re all lucky I’ll get around to reviewing the sequel faster than Disney got around to making it. So worth a watch if you haven’t seen it, I guess, although I can’t say I’ll be rewatching it any time soon unless I’m given the chance to see it with a really good audio setup.

Also, apparently the 2010 Nick Cage movie The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is supposed to be an expansion of the scene of the same name from Fantasia so I guess this is the only disney movie that can claim have a remake starring Nick Cage. And, I guess, the first to get a live action remake?

[imnoexpertblog]

Read It, Play It, Watch It

5/25/18

IT’S FRIIIIIDAYYYYYY! The weekend is upon us! I’m so happy I get to sleep with my love the next two nights. Sleeping without him all week sucks. I might sleep more soundly when I am alone, if it was at least at night. But I sleep during the day with the light and heat and noise, AND I sleep without him, on top of all that. I shouldn’t complain, though. Third shift has brought our family a lot more money and a lot more quality time together. Working second shift was hard because I never saw my boys. I would go to work for 3:30pm, Baby would get done with first shift around 4:00pm, meaning we didn’t see each other even in passing. I wasn’t home until quarter after 11 at the earliest. Sometimes Baby would stay up until I got home to say goodnight and so I could get a kiss, but that was way too late for him to be awake with how early he needed to be up the next morning. Nugget of course is asleep WAY before that, too. So sleeping without Baby five days a week is a small sacrifice in comparison to the pros.

Anyway! Let’s get down to business! Let the entertainment blog commence.

I know for a fact of a lot of people aren’t about reading books/novels. I will keep putting them in my blog to hopefully entice you all to pick one up and read! I think it’s so relaxing and soothing. Honestly. But I’ve always been one for words, whether it was reading them or writing them myself. I’m sure you can tell. While I wait on my boss to bring me the third Last Vampire book (the series I mention in my first entertainment blog,  "Entertainment-Centered" by Christopher Pike), I started reading IT by Stephen King. Yep, the clown movie is based on a book. I’ve come across a lot of younger people who didn’t know that. I need to start by saying I am reading this book after having seen both he original movie and the first part of the new remake. I didn’t watch It until I was about 20 years old, and it came out in ­­­­­1990, six years before I came out (LOL). I’m a little late to the party, but hey I wasn't even alive at the time. People go nuts for the new one, though! And I think it makes sense. I really enjoy the movies. Not to mention the guy who plays the new IT, Bill Skarsgard, is actually pretty hot in real life LOL. Crazy how you can get someone who is attractive to look so creepy. Back to the book. After having Baby watch both of the movies, we started googling if there was anything about the second movie out on the internet yet. We stumbled upon reviews that compared the book to the movie and there was talk of very weird scenes in the book, such as sexual scenes and of the like. I was so confused and it honestly got me curious. I had quickly forgotten about it though until my little sister (I call her Vanny) told me she got the book as a gift. She said she would never read it so I said give it to me! When I got it from her I was like, “HOLY SHIT.” Excuse the vulgarity but that book is EFFING MASSIVE. This is easily going to be the largest book I will ever read. It doesn’t seem like I am very far into yet, but considering there are about 1,168 pages… It will take at least 300 or so to get a good dent into it. This will be a multiple-part review because of how long this thing is. Stephen King is a man of detail, hence how long a lot of his works are. Sometimes I like it. Sometimes it’s overkill. I haven’t reached any unnecessary scenes yet but I hear there are a few. I can see differences from the movies already, but I won’t go into detail so I don’t ruin anything. Reviews are more positive than not. I think it might be harder to read anything this long. It will be an accomplishment, that is for sure. Knowing the general path of the story, I wonder if I will grow impatient with the book. I’m thinking if I read about 30 pages a day before bed, I should be able to get it done in a month and a half (skipping some days here and there). That seems to be a good game plan. Lastly, I am wondering if IT will scare me as a book. No writing has ever freaked me out like a movie can. I actually have somewhat of a sleep issue (I haven’t been diagnosed with anything because I’ve never officially told medical professionals about this so I wouldn’t want to call it a “disorder” or anything) which worries me while reading or watching something scary. I will get more into that in my next blog; it’s going to be a personal one for sure.

I may have mentioned in my About Me that I am obsessed with Harry Potter. My Aunt got me my first Harry Potter books when I was pretty darn young and I had no idea what it was, but I gave it a shot and read the first couple books within weeks. Nothing compares to how I feel when I read those books, especially the way I felt when I read them for the first time. HP is one of the most positive and heartwarming memories from my childhood that has stuck with me through everything. Watching the movies was almost just as amazing because of how young I was. Seeing my favorite books come to life was like a dream come true. I grew up with it all. The first movie was out in 2001 when I was five and the last one came out in 2011 when I was 15. It was a long five years between the end of HP and the movie Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016). I wished so badly I could relive the feelings of HP being new again, but I was very skeptical about Fantastic Beasts. There are connections between FB and HP of course, but it just wasn’t the same. I did watch it, however, and I enjoyed it. Not the same way I enjoy HP still to this day, but enough to make me curious about the second one that will be out this fall Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald. There is talk about the more recent play, “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child” to become an actual movie near 2020? I don’t know if that is legitimate or not, and I also don’t know what I think of it either. I’m honestly looking forward to the day that Harry Potter is remade altogether. I know it will be in the distant future, but I am still looking forward to the nostalgia. So. I went into all of that to adequately explain my love for Harry Potter and how excited I was to play the new Harry Potter Game app for your cell phone (Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery). Anyone who knows me know that I do not play games on my phone. Even when I was younger, all I played was Words with Friends because that was all the craze when I was in high school. I recently was into the interior design game, Design Home. That was until I got tired of running out of design money so easily. Anyway. I started playing Harry Potter Hogwarts Mystery. It’s set up in chapters. Each chapter you attend lessons, complete challenges of sorts, and gain points in different categories through the decisions you make. You get to customize your avatar, which is fun, but you only get to change so much on the character. Now, I was initially very pumped about this game. Until I played a few chapters. There is a different storyline than the movies, of course, which I actually enjoy. But. All you do throughout the game is click through conversations, sometimes choosing the response, click through lessons that you sometimes run out of “energy” for (meaning you have to wait until you gain enough energy back and that could be anywhere from 4 minutes to an hour and 40 minutes). There are a few spells you get to trace on your phone screen as if you are waving a wand, but that is as involved as it gets. I am on chapter 5 of 10 and I’m already over it. I am disappointed in how simple it is to "play," because the storyline seems intricate enough and the graphics are pretty good, too. Oh well. I will probably finish the game regardless. Either way, this was a very anticlimactic situation for me.

Saving the best for last. The new season of Thirteen Reasons Why came out last week. You may know that this has been very controversial. From the start, I was BEYOND stoked for TRW to be a show. I was excited enough when I found out they wanted to turn the book into a movie. A show meant more content and a longer time watching so I was definitely cool with this. I read the book in a few hours when I was in high school. I couldn’t put it down; I thought it was amazing. It got you thinking, that’s for sure. If you’ve watched the first season, you know as much about the show as I do. If you have read the book and seen the first season, you know the show has more going on in the storyline in order to fill gaps, modernize it, and to create room for future story. I think it’s a very busy show, especially in the beginning and end of the first season (I will admit I was a little bored in the middle). Some people have watched the entire second season already, and I can see why. The first one ended with so many loose ends, really making us wonder a million things. Watching this was very interesting since I read the book and loved it so much. Picking up on the differences right away, deciding how I felt about characters, etc. It was an adventure for sure. I also realized early-on just how hard-hitting this show is. Knowing how many kids watch this show, I was just hoping it didn’t glamorize the idea of suicide. It freaked me out a little knowing my 15-year-old Vanny was watching this. Teens and pre-teens are so impressionable. The show also gets pretty graphic, which was on purpose to get their point across. I do think it’s something to be careful suggesting to others and also something to be extra careful watching if you struggle with depression or suicide. That being said, I do still think it’s really powerful. I’m currently watching the second season and I am enjoying it! This is different for me because there was no second book. I don’t know anything that happens now. But I can say I like where it’s headed so far. Have you seen the first season? Both seasons? None of it? Give it a chance if you haven’t yet!

What are your weekend plans?! I mentioned in my previous blogs that Baby and I are getting tattoos, going to a wedding, and then we will be going up to his family’s cabin. I still really really want to go to the zoo! Hopefully I get to know Nugget’s mother more pretty soon. It’s not easy, being a mother and having some woman (that is random and foreign to you) walk into your child’s life. I know my mother and stepmother have struggled in the past. I don’t blame anyone for initial resistance. I just want to make sure she (and everyone) knows how much I love Nugget and his father, and that I will never leave them. As much as I love Baby, Nugget is everyone's top priority. I have done everything I can to make sure they are living a full and happy life so far. I won’t be going anywhere anytime soon, or ever. These boys are my life now. These last nine months have been everything to me. I can’t wait to keep living my dream life with my two Prince Charmings.

[just-another-film-buff]

Top Ten Disappointing Movies (3/10)

I haven’t posted in a while, due to personal problems at my house, but I am back and I have rewatched every movie on this current list...that alone made me not want to post on top of it, because I was reminded on top of my memories of just how awful these movies are. 

That being said, let’s continue, with my top eight choice. 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

Now, before I start my rant about this movie, I would like to make it clear that I really enjoy the Lord of The Rings. That whole trilogy was beautiful and told a good story. 

The Hobbit...I have no idea why they felt the need to make this a separate trilogy. 

I got it with LOTR, because there are three stories with it, but with The Hobbit...there is just this:

That’s it...that’s the entire trilogy right there. 

So why the hell did they need to make three movies out of this? They had to dip into the appendix of The Return of The King just to add more to the story. They could have made a whole movie out of just this book or hell, maybe a two-part movie, but this book did not three movies to tell the story.

The entire story dragged on and on and when I watched it last, I had to do everything not to distract myself on my phone or even fall asleep, because up until that point, I had never actually watched the movie as a whole, just because of how bored I get. 

Each movie for me needs to be watched over the span of 2-3 days, just because I get so bored and that has never happened with the original trilogy.

I can’t be the only one who thought this trilogy fell short, because here are the scores on Rotten Tomatoes:

An Unexpected Journey: 64% (277 Reviews)

The Desolation of Smaug: 74% (222 Reviews)

The Battle of the Five Armies: 59% (232 Reviews)

Just to compare...here are scores for LOTR, also from Rotten Tomatoes.

The Fellowship of the Ring: 91% (225 Reviews)

The Two Towers: 96% (228 Reviews)

The Return of the King: 95% (262 Reviews)

Now this is obviously about the first one in the trilogy, so back to that. This one is the hardest to get through for me, because I just cannot get invested in it, no matter how many times I actually try.

Of course, it has the same look as LOTR, so it at least has that going.

BUT looks do not make up for lack of a captivating story. I have tried to like this move, but I just can’t and I was so excited for more of this story, because of how much I enjoyed LOTR, but ultimately, I was disappointed.

Obviously.

Honestly, just writing my opinions for this movie is leaving me bored and usually even with bad reviews, I get pumped about all the witty banter I can run with it...but I am lacking it here. 

Nothing wrong for those that do enjoy this move, because movies are meant to be enjoyed, so for those that do...what is your secret, because I don’t know how to get into this movie.

[wowiamsarah]

all questions 1-134 please? or whichever you feel most comfortable with. have a good remainder of your day & thank you

Thank you for the ask!!! I hope you have a great day!! Sorry I didn’t answer sooner, but I fell asleep and somehow managed to get somewhere between 12 and 13 hours of sleep which is insane.

1: Name- Sarah2: Age- 163: 3 Fears- Falling from heights, being alone in public places for long periods of time, and spiders4: 3 things I love- My family, my friends, and spaghetti and meatballs5: 4 turns on- Being nerdy, being willing to be my friend, being nice, and I don’t know what else6: 4 turns off- Being mean, being a stupid jock, not liking me in any form, and thinking your better than everyone else7: My best friend- I don’t have a best friend...8: Sexual orientation- Who even knooooowws.9: My best first date- hahaha I’ve never been on a date10: How tall am I- 5′211: What do I miss- Being at rehearsal (Even though I was at rehearsal just yesterday, I really love it and I won’t be having it until Tuesday, which is too far away)13: Favorite color- #06003014: Do I have a crush- No and it’s really wierd because usually I always have a crush16: Favorite place- There is a bridge really close to my house and it is really nice to sit on and listen to music while thinking.17: Favorite food- Spaghetti and meatballs or ice cream18: Do I use sarcasm- I try, but sometimes people don’t get it, and a lot of the time I don’t get it, which is always really funny.19: What am I listening to right now- Catch by Dresses (It’s really good, but if you try listening to them, which I recommend, listen to either this or Painting Roses, they’re my favorites!!!)20: First thing I notice in new person- Their face I guess maybe.21: Shoe size- 9 I think22: Eye color- Hazel23: Hair color- Really really really dark brown almost black24: Favorite style of clothing- nerdy25: Ever done a prank call?- Hahahahaha no that sounds terrifying27: Meaning behind my URL- I am Sarah and the pleb28: Favorite movie- Currently Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them29: Favorite song- 1985 by Bowling For Soup, Catch by Dresses, Painting Roses by Dresses, The Run and Go by Twenty One Pilots, and Bang Bang by Green Day30: Favorite band- Green Day I guess maybe31: How I feel right now- Really awake, because I managed to get 12-13 hours of sleep and I woke up an hour ago.32: Someone I love- My dog33: My current relationship status- Forever along34: My relationship with my parents- Good35: Favorite holiday- Halloween maybe I don’t know36: Tattoos and piercing i have- I got my ears pierced in elementary school, but I let them close up in middle school37: Tattoos and piercing i want- My ears pierced again I guess38: The reason I joined Tumblr- I felt like it41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?- No42: When did I last hold hands?- My little sister yesterday morning43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- Between 20 minutes and 2 hours44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?- No, it’s the middle of winter and I wear pants every day what’s the point45: Where am I right now?- My room47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?- Reasonable level, unless I’m angry48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?- Yes49: Am I excited for anything?- This one prop in my school’s musical that’s being built for me to use and it’s going to be so cool that’s all I can say.50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?- No51: How often do I wear a fake smile?- Sometimes, not too often though52: When was the last time I hugged someone?- I think my little sister yesterday when she first woke up.53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?- It would be my dog, so I wouldn’t care...54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?- I don’t think so55: What is something I disliked about today?- I have to work on final review packets because winter finals start on Thursday56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?- JK Rowling57: What do I think about most?- Songs that are stuck in my head58: What’s my strangest talent?- I can wiggle my eyebrows59: Do I have any strange phobias?- Mold...60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?- In front of it I guess, but I can’t really watch it that easily61: What was the last lie I told?- I don’t know, I don’t lie very often62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?- video chatting? maybe?66: What's the weather like right now?- Cloudy67: What was the last book I've read?- The Great Gatsby68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?- No69: Do I have any nicknames?- No70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?- I cut my knee really badly once, but the story needs is too long to tell well, so maybe I’ll tell you another time.71: Do I spend money or save it?- Save it usually72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?- No73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?- My blanket currently draped over my shoulders74: Favorite animal?- Koala, baby polar bear, capybara, golden retriever75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?- asleep. rare79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?- Smiled a lot. People noticed and told her. She said, “I get that a lot.”80: What is my favorite word?- Pleb82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?- I’m sorry my country is so awful, please subscribe to AmazingPhil83: Do I have any relatives in jail?- No84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?-Teleportation86: What is my current desktop picture?- The Pukwudgie desktop background I got from Pottermore, but I have multiple on shuffle87: Had sex?-No88: Bought condoms?-No89: Gotten pregnant?-No90: Failed a class?-No91: Kissed a boy?-No92: Kissed a girl?-No93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?-No94: Had job?-No95: Left the house without my wallet?- Yes96: Bullied someone on the internet?- I don’t think so!!! I hope not!97: Had sex in public?-No98: Played on a sports team?- In like 3rd grade I played soccer99: Smoked weed?- No100: Did drugs?- No101: Smoked cigarettes?- No102: Drank alcohol?- No103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?- No106: Been to a wedding?- Yes, my second? cousin’s wedding.107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?- Has anyone not?108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?- Yeah109: Been outside my home country?- Sadly no110: Gotten my heart broken?- I don’t think so, but who knows111: Been to a professional sports game?- In middle school twice my ms choir sang at pro basketball games, and then I’ve also gone to a few baseball games, had no idea what was going on112: Broken a bone?- No113: Cut myself?- No114: Been to prom?- No115: Been in airplane?- No sounds scary116: Fly by helicopter?- No117: What concerts have I been to?- I haven’t but that would be great118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?- I don’t know119: Learned another language?- I know some Spanish120: Wore make up?- On halloween and in middle school stage makeup121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?- No122: Had oral sex?- No123: Dyed my hair?- Temporarily bright red for halloween in 5th grade, dyed my scalp red for the rest of the year124: Voted in a presidential election?- I’m not old enough!!!125: Rode in an ambulance?- No126: Had a surgery?- No127: Met someone famous?- No128: Stalked someone on a social network?- No129: Peed outside?- Not to my knowledge130: Been fishing?- Yes, boring, caught nothing131: Helped with charity?- My oldgirl scout troop helped once a year for the past few years at our local food bank? thing132: Been rejected by a crush?- I’ve never asked my crushes out133: Broken a mirror?- No134: What do I want for birthday?- Maybe a camera or to see a broadway show. I saw Wicked last year, and it was great, perfection, tied as the best day of my life with going to universal for my 13th birthday.

[introvertguide]

All the President’s Men (1976); AFI #77

The next review marks the halfway point through the AFI 100 and it is of the political “thriller,” All the President’s Men (1976). The source material was created by reporters involved in the uncovering of the Watergate scandal and one of these reporters contributed to the writing of the screenplay. The film was in theatres and earned Oscar nomination only 4 years after the Watergate incident occurred which made the film a Hollywood dramatization of the news. I am not aware of another film quite like this as far as release vs. incident dates that wasn’t a documentary. Even documentaries, although filmed during or immediately after events, do not often come out in theatres so soon. They definitely don’t get nominated for 8 academy awards like this film did. So what was behind this movie that made this a one-of-a-kind film that landed it on the list of the top 100 American movies? I want to go over the basic events, since that is the plot of the film, and then discuss the good and bad aspects of this quick production:

SPOILER WARNING!!! I AM GOING TO SPELL OUT ALL OF THE CONTENTS OF THE MOVIE!!! IT CAN BE BETTER SPOILED BY A HISTORY BOOK, BUT I WILL GET TO INACURACIES WHICH MIGHT RUIN THE FILM! SO SPOILER ALERT IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE FILM FIRST!!!

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The film begins with a lot of stock news footage and then a reenactment of the break-in at the Watergate hotel in 1972. Five men who were connected to the CIA and the Committee to Re-Elect the President (nicknamed CREEP) were caught with wire tapping equipment in the Democratic Party headquarters at the hotel. More stock footage of news reports lets the audience know that there is something fishy about this break-in.

At the trial for the five burglars, a young Bob Woodward (Robert Redford), who is a reporter for the New York Post, notices that a high priced lawyer is representing the five and yet it has been stated earlier that none of the burglars had used their phone call. Woodward keeps finding this lawyer and attempts to question him about why he is there and how exactly the burglars are attached to the CIA. Through consistent pressure, Woodward is able to connect the burglars to CIA agent E. Howard Hunt and a member of the White House Counsel, Charles Colson.

Woodward attempts to take on the story but finds that another reporter keeps taking his submitted drafts and altering them in an attempt to take over the story. This reporter is Carl Bernstein (Dustin Hoffman), a much more seasoned reporter at the Post that believes he should get the story. The editor puts them both on the case noting a lack of reliable sources, but tells them to keep digging.

Here is where it gets a little weird because Woodward talks about a secret source that he cannot name that was a senior government official. He went by the codename “Deep Throat” and Woodward meets him in a parking garage in the middle of the night. The sources does not say anything specific nor does he give any names, but he famously tells Woodward to “follow the money” which means to find out who paid the burglars to break in. 

Through basically unreliable resources, Woodward and Bernstein are able to make connections between CREEP and the money that was paid to the burglars. This is weird because it seems pretty assured that Nixon would easily defeat his competition to secure re-election, so the editors at the newspaper have doubts about putting the story on the front page.

Woodward and Bernstein are able to contact the CREEP treasurer Hugh Sloan, Jr. and are able to connect a slush fund to White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman and former Attorney General John Mitchell, the current head of CREEP. It is discovered that this wire tapping and sabotage had been happening since Nixon was trailing during the primaries. 

The editor demands thoroughness in obtaining reliable resources, so Woodward and Bernstein go around to employees of the the treasury for CREEP, and they are all young ladies that are afraid for their safety but are compelled to give up information to the reporters. I somewhat question the accuracy of the story at this stage of the film, but I will address that after the summary.

Woodward goes out and meets Deep Throat again and the source reveals that Haldeman was behind the Watergate break-in and cover-up. This cover up was not just to deny CREEP involvement, but to hide covert operations involving US intelligence agencies like the CIA and FBI. He warns Woodward that the two reporters could be in danger.

The Washington Post runs the story and the White House vehemently denies the allegations and chastises the press for shabby reporting. Woodward and Bernstein go and meet the editor in the middle of the night and decide to keep running with the story...and that is basically the end of the movie.

There is some footage of the two typing vigorously and then stock footage of the news reports and teletype printing out what happened in the news. It is not much of an ending, but this is likely because the story had not finished when the movie went into production. 

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So I have some major issues with this film and these problems have revealed themselves over multiple viewings. The first time that I saw this was in class as a senior in high school. I was in Mr. Sly’s Government and Economics class and we watched the movie over two class periods with many breaks for explanation and a lot of forwarding through the filler. At the time, the teacher was very excited at the topic (he hated Richard Nixon) and the movie was fascinating because he only showed and subsequently explained the good parts. Also, his enthusiasm for the topic was contagious. He was a very good teacher. 

The next viewing was a full 15 years later when going through the AFI list for the first time. I could not figure out what I liked so much about it and had to rewatch multiple parts because I kept falling asleep. There were no thrills and there was so much filler, I remember thinking that this should have been a 20 minute film and it would have been almost completely newsreel stock footage. 

This final time I can see what the problem is with the film...and I like it even less. The film is over 2 hours long and more than half of it is stock footage from the news, walking around quickly (there is some running in the newsroom for no reason), extended conversations due to fear of “somebody finding out” (the threat is never established as real so it is just annoying), a lot of parking lots (it shows the same car driving from the same parking spot out into the street on 3 separate occasions), intense research and typing, and establishing shots of buildings. It has as much filler as a B movie and costs about the same, but because it was so close to the event with big name actors, it was treated as something special. In fact, it is talked about like a documentary in many reviews that I read with words like “important” and “powerful” scattered about, but I don’t see it. 

Robert Redford bought the book rights because he knew it was an interesting topic that people would want to know about. He was correct, but it wasn’t enough fact to make a full movie, so he let one of the reporters, Carl Bernstein, punch up the screenplay with his stories of how he enchanted female story leads into giving out information. Those conversations are completely unnecessary.  At some point, the writers realized that there was no clear and present danger so they had the secret source bring up safety and Woodward becoming paranoid...but absolutely nothing happened. 

This movie needed to be a 30 minute documentary with some re-enactments or it needed to wait until more details became available to replace the filler. I respect that it was different from anything prior or since, but it doesn’t make the movie good or even interesting. It kind of broke me when the two main characters were going over a list of people that they needed to visit as possible leads and all they did was read names over a shot of the city. You might as well read out the phone book for 2 minutes as it was just as boring. 

The poster calls this the most devastating story of this century and I agree... devastatingly boring. No other film on the AFI list has less story than this film. Some of the other films have annoyed me more, but I could see why some people liked it or at least why it was interesting. This is not interesting and it is presented like a documentary when it is not. Variety magazine said this film was “ingenious” and overcame the difficult lack of drama that a story about reporters running down a story might otherwise have. Disagree vehemently. 

Roger Ebert gave it 3.5 stars, so critics I have the utmost respect for seem to have enjoyed it. I was not alive when the film came out and agree more with Dave Kehr who called the film “pedestrian” and “a study in missed opportunities.” For my money, National Geographic TV did a one hour special that was just the facts and it was so much more interesting. Here is a link to that and I would suggest skipping the Hollywood version.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWkS-sOia-Y

So does this film deserve to be on the AFI 100? Well...I guess maybe? It was something different and likely the most accurate and up to date Hollywood film like none before or since. It used real names and was written by the actual people involved. It just wasn’t that interesting to me. Would I recommend it? If you are suffering from insomnia. Otherwise, no. If you want to see an accurate retelling of the story in one third the time, click the link above. Let the Robert Redford film be an experiment that made for very uninteresting results.