#did not expect this to become a whole essay but oh well

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

I've been thinking about the societal structures built around regeneration on gallifrey lately, but also the fact that renegades do not get that. On gallifrey you can regenerate in a controlled and safe environment (obviously with some exceptions, but sudden regenerations are not the standard) where you know that an outside factor will not interfere with or influence your regeneration. And while its not guaranteed, there's some amount of reassurance that the regeneration is likely to be on your own terms and that you'll have time to recover and get used to your new body after

But a renegade is much more likely to face a violent and unpredictable death, its rare for one to live the full expected lifespan of a time lord, and when they do die regeneration is much more of a gamble, it is much easier for things to go wrong, just look at what happened with five or eight, and how an incorrect regeneration probably had lasting effects that could have easily been avoided or fixed in the hours after regeneration on gallifrey, but are now things they just have to live with. The unpredictability of regeneration for many renegades also leads to them regenerating out in the open, which makes them much easier to kill because you have access to them mid regeneration. And there also the factor that time lords are both rare and powerful, anyone knowing who they are may very well want to take advantage of either the energy a regenerating time lord produces or the vulnerable and easily manipulable state a newly regenerated time lord finds themself in, and others who don't know what a time lord is may want to experiment on them and it is much harder to fight back in a body you do not know yet

All that's to say, regeneration is probably an at least stressful experience for all time lords, you are literally dying, but it has to be terrifying for renegades. There is no guarantee that you will make it through without complications, or really at all. I mean looking at it this way its kind of obvious why the doctor tries so hard to cling onto each life they have

[muaka-safari]

May I ask, did you get around to writing that essay about ga-matoran in Metru Nui and their connection to the Great Temple? Not expecting anything! Just curious!

Oh, I think I wrote a bullet-pointed list on ga-matoran and their connection to the Great Temple, specifically looking at how it affects their concept of gender here, but I never wrote anything long-hand.

If a quick rundown is what you're looking for, follow that link. If you do enjoy long(ish), rambling essays from someone making far too extensive headcanons for fictional worlds, read on.

So. Ga-Metru. The metru of the ga, the metru specifically for the ga, that metru. Now, I could launch straight into the impact of Ga-Metru being Mata Nui-favoured... but this is my essay, so I'm gonna roll this a bit further back and delve into a possible reason of why Ga-Metru is favoured.

Because I have a personal headcanon that Ga-Metru's favoured status was very much a byproduct of the natural resources.

Look at it this way: You need to build a protodermis purification facility on Metru Nui. You've already built the forges and furnaces; now you need to be able to source the building material for these smithies. So you need somewhere with a lot of liquid protodermis readily at hand - somewhere, for example, like Ga-Metru.

And then, because you probably shouldn't put all your important masks in a place full of burny, melty fire, you store your kanohi mask here (instead of Ta-Metru) as the other major building in this budding metru.

So, ta-da, you now have your second major site in Metru Nui, and over time that becomes Ga-Metru, home to the Ga-Matoran. Second-eldest metru, not out of any holy significance, but because it provided an important resource.

Time passes, and your purification/storage facility becomes a place of spiritual importance. I mean, it makes sense. It's an old, vital building, storing items of power, and isn't the hot, noisy space of Ta-Metru, plus the act of purifying carries a kind of holiness to it.

So, the next logical train of thought: if Ga-Metru is home to the temple of your god, then - obviously - god must like this metru best.

Next, next logical train of thought: if Ga-Metru is the favoured metru, then those who live there must be Mata Nui's favoured matorans. Or, at least, they are spiritually closer to Mata Nui, living basically on the doorstep of your connection to him.

By this point, matoran have certainly been granted sentience, and with that comes all the messy irrationality of thinking for yourself. What a lot of religions like to do is recognise those singled out, spiritually, with a title. Father. Reverend. Back in the medieval era, catholic priests were called "Sir" the same way a knight was.

Regardless, the point is: you need a name or a title to recognise that Ga-Matoran are different. And (headcanon going strong here) because Matoran weren't programmed with a sense of gender, they only really have "he/him" for daily use, with "brother" as a title of respect.

So language does what it always does in these circumstances - it adapts. Except, well, the Matoran may not have a concept of gender, but the Great Beings who created them did. So, somewhere in that pesky programming and superfluous data, there's a not-memory of "sister" being an equivalent title to "brother" - they don't understand how it relates to gender, they just know it feels right. And with "sister" comes the pronouns "she/her" so suddenly you have a whole metru with their own special pronouns and titles.

And, ta-da! Matorans have now accidentally ungendered gendered pronouns.

I also think it adds an interesting sense of irony for any (head)canons that Ga-Matorans consider themselves above or better than other Matorans (because then their importance is built on a coincidence, rather than actual Mata Nui favour) but that's for another day - or for other people to take a crack at, if they'd like. (I know I've certainly seen some interesting posts about Ga-Matoran self-importance!)

I personally was just fascinated by the fact that the "female" Matoran are the "holy" Matoran, despite gender being nonexistant, and examining one possible reason for Ga-Metru gaining its favoured reputation. (What can I say? I love clawing my way into the cracks of existing world-building.) Feel free to agree, disagree, whatever, but these are my personal headcanons and I hope people enjoyed reading about them!

[stevetwisp]

What's your all-time favorite Bob's Burgers episode? Like this is YOUR episode? (You can list multiple if you want!)

ooo yes i will need multiple, i have like lil categories for my favs episodes;

like nostalgic, and just genuinely good, and then episodes i find really silly/have my favourite characters

'The Belchies', 'Bob Day Afternoon', 'Bob Fires the Kids' and, 'Sexy Dance Healing' are all episodes I can't decide which i saw first, as in my first episode of Bob's Burgers overall, they all feel a very special and kind of nostalgic and honestly? besides Sexy Dance Healing, they are all really classic episodes that kind of hold the edginess of season 1, but in a good way, and also just have really good well put together stories- as well as introducing/building on side-characters that will become staples to the series (not including Beverly and Cooper, mostly talking about Mickey and the kids' friend group)

Sexy Dance Healing is just a cool episode in the sense they bring attention to the chalk board and Bob's routine with it and him breaking that routine and how the family reacts to it? it's just a wonderful character/world building episode especially if you have been watching the show for a bit before seeing it

'Manic Pixie Crap Show' and 'Silence of the Louise' go up in my top favs bc 1) i LOVE MILLIE and 2) i love the movie silence of the lambs, but also I love louise's crisis about 'being a girl' in Manic Pixie Crap Show

'Amelia', 'The Amazing Rudy', 'Radio No You Didn't', 'Show Mama From The Grave' are all episodes that sort of break formula to tell a better story, Amelia is just... oof. The Amazing Rudy? to escape the Belchers and have a whole episode just on Rudy- and not just Rudy but to focus on his face the whole episode to be inside his head without any inner monologue or narration- it's powerful stuff. Radio No You Didn't is just straight up a cool episode- and I love the running gag of never really showing Bob's mom? Lily is finally in an episode and.... she's a baby the whole time. It's kind of genius? oh also his grandma fighting nazis is cool too. HAHA and to follow that up- I really didn't think they would actually show Lily's grave in 'Show Mama From The Grave' (ironically), I was expecting them never to find it and I want to believe there's a draft of the episode where they never reach her and it's just about how that's okay because Bob thinks of her all the time. But Linda being the one who found her? Bro I was sobbing, loudly, WILDLY.

'Vampire Disco Death Dance', 'Earsy Rider', 'V for Valentine-detta' are episodes that are silly but I feel very strongly about them- Earsy Rider is also one of the first episodes I ever saw, and I think it's so neat they did an episode so early on that addresses- but doesn't unpack- Louise's bunny ears. Also the introduction of some of my favourite background characters, the One Eyed Snakes and Critter (love his name. love that man.) and his partner Mud Flap. ("Aw my mother's name is Mud Flap!" "...Really?" "No, you are named after the dirty part of a car.")

and c'mon, who doesn't love V for Valentine-detta???? We get sweet sweet adorable family time with Linda and Tina and Louise- NAT?? THE INTRODUCTION OF NAT!!!! best character in the series, and probably the gayest Tina will ever be (next to her and Sage... Next to her and Dillon... next to-)

but my ultimate favourite episode of Bob's Burgers will always be, 'Thanks-Hoarding'. I love Teddy. Yes it hits home, yes I relate to him, YES the episode makes me cry, YES I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME

YES I DID MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO ESSAY ABOUT IT LIKE 5 YEARS AGO!!!

YES I LOVE THAT EPISODE STILL (tears shirt off)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

anyway thank you for the question c:

honourable mentions: any episode with Gretchen. 👍

[cheresha]

Trick or treat! Who's your current fave blorbo and why?

@jeffsatyr

Oh, that's both an easy and a very difficult question because I don't know how to answer it without including major spoilers but it's these 2!

I can't say they've given me the same level of brainrot as VegasPete but I find them and their story really interesting and even though the show left quite a few things out because of its short runtime I still can't stop thinking about them months after it ended.

To make it short and as spoiler free as possible - I love that we got 2 deeply flawed main characters who desperately wanted to do better and be better but couldn't for a variety of reasons or what they did was too little too late. I was watching the show with a friend who said that as the story progressed they couldn't really find reasons to root for them and I agree - the more we learned about them the less likeable they became but that's what made them even more fascinating to me. While I enjoyed seeing how the events in the alternative timelines played out, I liked the real one the most (ep. 6 is my favorite). Their story is a tragedy but it's also about second chances and I'm here for that.

Now, about them individually - in Great's case, I liked how his mental health struggles were portrayed, I think they handled that aspect of his character quite well. But also, as many people have pointed out, that man never had a normal reaction to anything that happened to him and I was just sitting here watching like 🤔😨 Guy's just sitting in the passenger seat of his life without caring about the direction he's going in and it was quite the emotional roller coaster.

Tyme is the type of character teenage me was a big fan of - I used to love emotionally distant and awkward characters (and obviously I still have a soft spot for them). He gets bonus points for secretly being the sappiest of them all. I really like how Jes portrayed him, I came here with 0 expectations and ended up becoming a fan.

Sorry if this is too vague and all over the place but if I don't stop now I'll end up writing a whole essay, I just like them and the show a lot 🤧

[softquietsteadylove]

Hello! 🫣

I had this idea: thenamesh academic rivals?

Gil is a top student, mostly getting a mark of 100. but whenever Thena asks her rival what he got he always says a lower point (for example he says 97 and she got a 98) , hiding his exam behind his back 🫣

Thena glared at the chair next to hers as it was taken.

"Uh," Gilgamesh attempted - yet again - to strike up a casual conversation, "hey."

Thena tapped her papers on her desk, waiting for the professor to come in, as well as tell them how they would be conducting the labs with their students for the day. "I trust you've already looked up what your score for the mid-term was."

"What was yours?"

Thena clenched her teeth in her jaw. It didn't matter what she got, he would get just the same, if not better. She had worked her whole life to become a historical scholar, as was expected of her. And this guy always managed to stand shoulder to shoulder with her, seemingly without so much as blinking. "I achieved 98. I believe the two point demerit was due to my oversight in the essay section."

Gilgamesh merely nodded, offering a nervous kind of smile. "Ah, well, the essay parts are always the toughest."

She slid her eyes over to him. She didn't truly wish to know, but she also couldn't resist knowing. "And you?"

"Ninety..." he trailed off, as he always did when they were discussing their academic performance. She glared at him to finish, "seven?"

Thena smiled, although she did her best not to appear smug and unbecoming. "An admirable mark."

"Thanks," he laughed off, like it was nothing. Professor Stoss was a famously tough professor despite his young age, and getting any good mark from him was already a feat.

Thena did somewhat believe that the affability Gilgamesh possessed made people go easier on him. And even then, she had to concede that he was intelligent and competent in their field of study. It infuriated her.

She had the weight of the world on her in the expectation to perform. She was even a teaching assistant entirely to advance her studies and career. Otherwise, the interaction with other students was far too much for her own preference.

But Gilgamesh said he was good in historical studies merely because his mother had possessed a fondness for them. Thena devoted hours to studying and research and Gilgamesh worked part time at a diner close to the university. And yet he used to consistently beat her in every assignment and quiz and test.

Only in recent months did he seem to be coming just a single point under her, and even that was not enough. Thena had already heard from her own family how outstanding this no-name student was and how those in their field of work were asking about him.

"Did you...do anything this weekend?"

Thena looked over, somewhat astonished that he was still trying to make conversation with her.

He shrugged, tapping his fingers anxiously on the cover of his textbook. "I heard there was a fancy party for the TAs, I mean. I assumed you went."

Thena frowned. There was indeed an event for the faculty and their chosen assistants--those who showed promise enough to earn extra credits in teaching. She hadn't attended because she felt no need (nor did Phastos, in her defense). "I assumed you had gone."

"Oh, no," Gilgamesh smiled down at the desk. "I take the late shifts on weekends. They're long, but we don't get many people, so I can get studying or work done, y'know?"

Thena swallowed her words. She had all this envy for his natural skill, but his work was just as legitimate as hers. And he worked to pay his rent, living off campus, while she lived in a dorm for female academic leaders. Gilgamesh stole his time studying as opposed to building his entire life around it.

"You deserve to enjoy yourself a little."

She looked at him again, still frowning. "I beg your pardon?"

"S-Sorry." He went back to staring down at the tattered edges of his textbook. But she kept looking at him, waiting for him to elaborate. The silence worked, dragging his words out of him. "I just mean...you work really hard, right? You're always top of the class. You should be allowed to have some fun, sometimes."

She did work hard. She devoted every waking moment of her life to her studies, and the one person who continuously thwarted her attempts at perfection was the one to point it out?

It would be easier to be angry with him if he were dislikeable in any way. As it stood now, all she had to go on was that he always beat her in academic achievement, and so effortlessly at that. But even with that, she had to concede that he worked just as hard, if not harder than her for it! And it was infuriating!

"Sorry," he repeated, looking away from her glowering at him.

She sighed. "No, I'm sorry. It was an innocent question."

He looked at her, completely astonished. She would like to snap at him for thinking she couldn't even just apologise for being overly adversarial with him. But that would defeat the point. "Well, I know you don't really like small talk."

It was that she wasn't good at it. She angled herself in her chair, destroying her perfect posture to face him somewhat more properly. "Should you not have also...enjoyed yourself? When do you have time to socialise if you are either studying or working?"

"Well, I have friends I can see in my other classes," he shrugged.

Oh. Yes, of course. Thena felt her hackles raise again at the idea that she was so unfamiliar with the idea of having friends in any of their classes. But she was trying to be nicer to him.

"But," he offered another sheepish smile, bending closer to whisper like children trading a secret in grade school. "This class is my favourite."

Thena just stared at him. She supposed that made sense. He always said he had the same like of history and classics that his mother had. But the idea that she was included in the categorisation of his favourite anything; a warm feeling spread in her chest.

"The lovebirds are here already."

Students began filtering into the small lecture hall, facing them seated at the front of the room. The one who made the comment plunked down close to the door. Another one looked in their direction, "don't you two ever sleep in?"

They got jokes and insinuations that they were together all the time. Apparently, everyone could see some kind of brewing, invisible tension between the two of them. Thena always found it ridiculous.

"We don't-!"

The student startled, as did the rest of the room slowly taking their seats. The declaration was sharp, and loud--far louder than was needed for a room this size.

Thena felt warmth rush to her cheeks, first for the outburst, then the realisation that it seemed overeager to deny something that wasn't even said. She cleared her throat, turning towards the board (since she had shot to her feet in her denial). "Sit down and start copying."

The student body present groaned but obeyed. Gil was the far preferred teaching assistant because he didn't scare anyone, and even if they under-performed, he had kind encouragements as opposed to scathing condemnations.

"Guys, come on, you heard her."

Thena barely glanced over her shoulder. There was nothing new about their students complaining about her teaching methods. But Gil usually didn't take quite so stern a tone with them. Even in her defense.

He peeked at her with a smile, perhaps hoping to show that he was indeed her ally and not her enemy.

Thena whipped her head forward again. So long as they were pitted against each other in any setting, he was no friend of hers. No matter how winsome his smile was.

[littlewestern]

I just thought of something. For your silver and black stories, how did Pilot, Pioneer, and 2903 react when Burlington Northern Santa Fe was created? I mean, their home railroads are now one and the same! (Makes one wonder how preserved trains would feel about their railroads merging out of existence. I imagine 999 has certain feelings about Penn Central and Conrail)

Oh this is a really interesting question!

I think by 1994 all the engines mentioned had come to terms with the fact that rail industry had simply changed so much in the past 60 years that it wasn't worth getting too sentimental over. Since they all were retired by the '70s, I think the more affecting change would have been the CB&Q becoming Burlington Northern.

It's important to note up-top that engines are familiar with change and know well that their entire industry is founded on shifting sand. CB&Q engines and Zephyrs in particular would know this well, and would be more sensitive to the ways in which the Q would adjust their marketing and scheduling strategies based on cost and changing customer expectations. Basically, all engines know going in that things are subject to change, sometimes at a moment's notice, and for the most part they aren't too sentimental about it. It's just the way of things, y'know?

That being said, I do think that the absorption of the Q into Burlington Northern would have been a somewhat sobering moment for Pioneer in particular, which may or may not be surprising depending on how well you know him. It's not like it ruined his day to hear the news or anything, but you have to remember that the Pioneer Zephyr defined the entire look of last third of the CB&Q's lifespan. The Zephyrs got people excited to take the train and set the tone for how every other railway in the country would market their passenger rail service for the next 30-some-odd years. Pioneer wasn't just important to the Q, he was important to the culture. But by the time 1970 rolls around, he's been out of service for a decade, and rail travel looks significantly different to what it once did. Losing the Q to consolidation is a sign of the times and a tacit remark on the then current state of rail travel.

It would have been, at the very least, the end of an era, and that in and of itself deserves a moment of recognition. It's not sad exactly, because change is inevitable, and it's not worrying exactly either, because Pioneer himself was built and born of time of uncertainty - only to eventually become a symbol that the future of travel was brighter than ever! But it is the way of things, and I think it would have at least given Pioneer some pause.

Pilot on the other hand, would have seen this one coming. After all, his retirement marked the end of the Zephyrs outside of the California Zephyr. He would have been familiar with the decline in passenger service quality from the time he was built in 1940 to the day the Zephyr service ended in 1968. Where Pioneer was only watching this change happen gradually from the outside, Pilot would have lived it.

I'm not sure how much loyalty 2903 would have felt to the culture of the AT&SF, given that he was built so late, was part of such a small class, and honestly didn't even work for that long. I do think, like most engines, he would have felt a sense of pride in his heritage and there might have even been some light ribbing in the MSI yard about how at least the Santa Fe was still going strong even as the Q had to forfeit its identity, but I don't know that the creation of BNSF would have inspired anything in him besides some slight annoyance when the teasing was turned back around on him. "Guess you're a Burlington engine now, chief!" Cue eyeroll. 2903 has never really appreciated the Burlington approach.

As for 999, oh boy lol! Don't even get her started. Her feelings on the NYC and Penn could be a whole essay unto themselves. Suffice to say that they are mixed. The best favor NYC ever did her was retire her before they became the Penn so she wouldn't have to share the name of the railway that scrapped nearly every single one of their steam engines.

[the-ghost-king]

I spent about two hours on this over the past couple of days in total, and I'm sure I've missed a few things and I guarantee that some of my opinions will not be shared by others and that's okay. I'm comfortable with people adding on their own thoughts and feelings and continuing on a conversation if they wish to.

Before I truly begin: this book isn't bad, that doesn't mean it's good it just means it's not bad. I think this book is both wonderful and awful, this book is both exactly what I expected and unlike anything I could have come up with. I will also clarify before you read this that I have never personally enjoyed any of Oshiro's work I've read, if you're someone who enjoys Oshiro's body of work there may be many places you disagree with me and I would like to note that ahead of time. I would also like to note that these are simply my initial thoughts, I finished TSATS two days ago and I have done some thinking and pondering over it since and these are the conclusions I have reached in that time. I cannot say how much of this I will agree with in a week, or a month, let alone three, or a year. I considered writing an essay and then decided a bullet point list would be sufficient, there is no order to these bullet points and some conversation points move in a circular way, I did not proofread this either. Also be aware there will be spoilers. Without further ado, my thoughts:

- Hades is weirdly ooc plus having him be responsible for this and him knowingly harming Nico and Nico just being like "oh ok i understand" undoes so much of the relationship progression from Pjo to BoO to ToA to here!!! Hades is still a god yes but he was becoming something of a father figure to Nico as well again and he just throws that all away because Nyx and Bob were "being annoying" and Nico is just… fine with that??? And they just jokingly brush the whole Hades loved more Bianca thing under the rug WITH MARIA RIGHT THERE

- Why are we reintroduced to Persephone like she's a new character? Sure it's from Will's pov and they've never met but the readers have met Persephone multiple times before!! It was weird to reintroduce her!!

- Worst editor ever, a few typos and apparently some copies have Nico saying his mother is Bianca? He also calls his mom Maria instead of mom or mamma? And we've only ever heard nico call maria mamma before this point so him calling her mom is less weird than him calling her Maria but still off

- Will… still doesn't have a personality entirely and what personality he was given does not match the personality he has in ToA OR in BoO??

- Once again, I don't like Oshiro's pacing and you can tell how hands off Rick was with the whole thing - I've never personally been a fan of Oshiro's work and one of my top reasons has always been their terrible pacing. I will read a phenomenal paragraph and then spend the rest of the chapter struggling to find anything that feels worth my time, and while i felt within chapter there was a fair bit of consistency between different chapters there was not- i would read one chapter that read well and felt amazing and then the next 3 chapters would feel like useless side plot that served no purpose. Oshiro also really struggles to maintain tempo in their work imo.

- Characters defining their sexuality in explicit terminology or labeling isn't inherently wrong but its also not in line with what we've seen so far and while this could be a sign of progress it could also be a step back so instead it's best to consider how this effects or determines characterization

- Nico's coming out party…. God… why?

- There's also this weird thing with so much of the sexuality/gender stuff that it feels more like a lecture than an authentic experience, for me personally based on the flow of these conversations and the events and things i feel like it was done to make this more palatable for a cishet audience rather than to maintain and authentic experience??

- Anyhow the thing where Nico kind of makes Will come out in front of camp is giving me love simon flashbacks and i just have to say making someone come out to a large group or in public just to be with you is so so gross… there was no reason for this to be a plot point whatsoever imo, it feels really ooc and it does that really upsetting thing lots of ya books do where it tries to depict that in order to be authentically and "properly" queer one must be public in their grsm orientation which i think is a pretty harmful/hurtful idea overall but especially in media designed for preteens and teens who are more likely to be living in environments where coming out is unsafe

- None of the jokes land

- Literally they have the worst nicknames for everything. I liked the cringe otherwise, it did have young teen relationship vibes… but that was unforgivable to me personally but i guess other people liked this? To each their own!

- On that note! I've talked a lot about Solangelo being two sides of the same coin in terms of how their relationship works and while symbolism would have been nice straight up seeing Nico given a coin by will was also cringe and too far? Nico gave Will his ring, this thing that we've built up over the series to view as a representation of his grief and loss and his family and love and home and a culmination of Nico and Will gets nico… this coin he just seemingly had made that has almost no symbolic meaning beyond that? Nico's ring is basically a character unto itself, not only does giving a physical object and having Nico outright state the symbolism of it ruin the "show don't tell" logic of authoring it also feels hollow as the reader has no connection to this object like Nico's ring. There was no reason for this other than to make an equivalent exchange which is kind of a sucky way to weigh a relationship… it could have been better for Will to give nico something from his past as well and to have the piece come up in a memory or something OR for will and nico to have exchanged these gifts at some point on or just before their journey so the reader got to experience this connection as well

- Will's pov was kind of trash actually

- Why doesn't Will ever talk about finding Nico attractive?

- We never have it explained what exactly makes Nico a "star" ..? Like its constantly alluded to or even stated he is a star but we never actually get to see why

- Will never really "goes dark" the sniffles are not dark, dark would be like straight up plaguing them or having some sort of ability to radiate heat and blast things or craft his own weapons out of light or just something beyond singing and having the heart blast effect thingy…

- Their relationship is stated they've been together a year and trauma can definitely change things but for whatever reason their relationship feels more new and raw and tender than it did in ToA??? Why??? They do not feel like two fifteen/sixteen year olds who have been in a relationship for a year, they feel like two thirteen year olds who've been in a relationship for three months?

- I also personally feel conflicted about them not having a major kiss scene? Like on one hand it's nice to see queer couples treated like any other couple and kisses to be fairly casual mundane interactions! But on the other hand being a queer couple especially an mlm couple in a children's/ya series and being able to show physical affection is really quite uncommon tbh and I would have liked to see maybe a little emphasis at least on the first kiss that the audience gets to experience on paper just to sort of acknowledge that groundbreaking act? But maybe that's just me?

- Additionally speaking all of their prior banter is just.. gone..? They literally don't joke around except for 2 or 3 lines in the book despite previously being a very banter heavy couple? There is no reason they can't be both soft and comedic or have banter yet be tender to one another? It's like all the joy that was previously in their relationship was traded for arguing and bickering and this weird pettiness that feels ooc in general but especially from them?

- What was the plot point of going to Sally's house to send the iris message? Why was Sally brought into this? She's cool and we love her but there was no plot reason to add her? Even the percabeth iris message only minimally added to the plot

- Why is Will so bothered by death? Like I'm cool with him feeling weak in the underworld. I can respect that from a tension building pov and also being in the dark does go against his nature but like death is not something against his nature? He is well acquainted with death? People die in medical settings all the time i guarantee he has lost many patients and brushed shoulders with thanatos more than most people at camp + he lost A TON of siblings in the war he would have to be familiar with grief AT THE VERY LEAST but yet he seems to lamblike to all these things the whole novel I feel it weakens his character, the story, the plot, previous books, and his relationship with Nico- if they wanted him to have some reserved hesitations about death they could have done it much more tactfully but they didn't?

- I also hate every time some sort of discussion about him being a healer comes up because yes he is a magical exception that makes him a "natural born healer" but they take that too far imo, yes he is a magical exception but the way this stuff is worded gives this like "Will is such a good healer he never fails or breaks down or fatigues from it" and i just feel like it becomes an unrealistic and unhealthy example after a certain point and I would have loved to see that exploration that so many fanfic authors have done wonderfully about how Will is overworked and needs to learn to take care of himself before his patients just to add that depth to his character but Oshiro and Riordan just skip past this and again it feels like a massively missed plot point to give Will a deeper character

- It's also weird everytime Nico is like "Will always takes care of me now I have to take care of him" because again it just feels like such an unhealthy way to view a relationship… like if a partner gets sick 3x a year and the other partner is sick 5x a year partner A shouldn't be like "well now you owe me two sickness helpings" or something you know? Thats so petty and immature and unhealthy for a relationship and it's something that can be unlearned but also like if they've been together a year and they're supposed to be like a perfect fit according to what i think the symbolism was trying to get at (so much of this book feels like a rough draft not a final cut istg) then why is this even included anyhow?

- Also Nico is ooc at points, he seeks to heal others a lot of the time as well- Hades even mentions this, how even when Nico is offered something for himself he uses the gift to help someone else- this is a quality Nico and Percy (and Jason) all really consistently display throughout pjoverse EXCEPT Nico doesn't do this early on in the text?? He is unfazed by the nature of some things in the underworld (Will is right the fields of asphodel are perhaps more horrific in some way than the variations of hell provided in the underworld) and Nico is just like "yeah that's just how it is here" which kind of goes against that character trait + (though i may be confusing fanfic and canon here) didn't Nico and Hazel have a whole convo about how upsetting or painful asphodel is?? It goes on kind of even more so in this regard though where his regard for humanity seems significantly less so than in previous texts, there's something else as well i can't exactly put my finger on yet that also feels ooc … I'll keep thinking lol

- Once again to the "why is Nico a star thing" we have Nico constantly talking about how live exists even in the underworld and it's obviously intended to be a metaphor for hope and finding light in the dark and therefore a whole solangelo metaphor too but Nico brings it up and Will doesnt understand and then they argue (?) And then the metaphor falls flat because we never get to see this explored; we just have it Stated out loud a few times? Like there are many good explanations as to why this keeps getting brought up especially because we can also tie in how Will and Nico are alive down there or how Nico is seperate from the rest of the underworld because despite being part god he is also part mortal

- Once again Tartarus isn't actually scary and there's only so much "it's for kids" I'm willing to accept there, give it more Coraline please!!

- Again an issue with the Nyx thing, Nico doesn't agree with Nyx about who he is because Nyx cannot understand life and Nico can because he is mortal- Nico's mortality is a hugely defining aspect of his character because it sets him apart from the gods and the dead that make up so much of his life- in order to truly appreciate death and the afterlife you have to actually live and know life and change and things and the gods in their consistency are more like ghosts than anything

- It's also very irritating that this was never explored !!! So much of what makes demigods special in the rest of the series is their godhood and their connection to godhood, they are powerful because they are beyond human. However in Nico's fight with Nyx and some other aspects of Nico's behavior but most notably Nyx vs Nico is the culmination of this situation is that Nico's greatest strength throughout tsats is that he is mortal. He is powerful because he is human. He does all the things he does the way he does them because he is human. He is something beyond the gods' understanding because he is mortal- and that's all just swept under the rug for…? Honestly i have no idea why it makes no sense how that is a constant theme in this book yet it feels like the book falls constantly short of actually grasping that concept.

- And if you're wondering what the plot symbolism of Will being involved in all this is? I dont fucking know he doesnt have one he was kind of just dead weight the entire story!!! He was basically there just to help Nico pick some fruit and have dialogue with. I feel like Will was potentially supposed to represent how the "average person" would feel on this adventure but personally I feel if that is the case that I may be one of the worst people to understand that perspective as I have a peculiar and poetic love for death and dying.

- Plus when they're wandering through Tartarus's digestive tract (if you're reading this and you haven't read the novel yet or you didn't yet finish it, yes this is a thing that actually happens) and Will starts struggling with his memory, I would have loved to see the effects of that situation on Nico explored more as I would assume amnesia and people forgetting about him/leaving him would be a very difficult thing for him to deal with yet instead we're just told they passed stories back and forth and that made everything all right + not sharing much of those stories with the audience was again a missed character building moment for Will and a missed relationship building moment between them!!

- Them cuddling in the hut together and Nico wanting to wake Will up to share his nightmare was kind of cute though I will admit to that much

- I also hate how they put all this time and work into saving Bob and then Bob just fucks off into the sunset like everything is normal?? He just fucking dips like nothing even happened??

- Also people have been saying Will kissing Nico when he found out Jason was dead was wrong, and look idk if I'm personally going to go that far but I do think as a first kiss it's definitely weird than cute?

- I think Will's background and childhood could have been expanded on a lot more to make him an interesting character- we learn some about his life with Naomi before camp (and its nice to see her as a complete person and I think she has cool mom vibes for real) but I feel like the only adventure we get to hear about is him and his mom being in New York for concerts… what about other places around the country? what about the life he had with her when she wasn't touring?

- Along this same vein I feel like Will's behavior in the story not only doesn't match his behavior from the previous appearances he's made, but that for someone who seems to have spent a lot of time on the road getting to experience lots of different places (even if it was just the US, that's still pretty significant) I once again truly cannot understand his weird behavior about dead people and the underworld- its not only inconsistent with previous behaviors and beliefs he's exhibited but if he's been show so much diversity from a very young age he's probably naturally curious and inquisitive as well as naturally adventurous and outgoing- yet instead he basically just sticks his nose up at everything underworld-ish?? It not only weakens the plot, his character, and his relationship it also makes no sense with previous set ups AND it has no true culmination by the end of the story because we never truly see him accept or enjoy the underworld and what it has to offer he merely endures it.. so again, what was the point of him acting like that?

- Unpopular one: coco puffs are very cute but i find them unnecessary and completely over the top even for pjo and i can see them becoming annoying later on but that's just me personally.

Okay, I'm going to call it quits here. There's probably more I'll think to say later on but I feel this is a good summary of my initial thoughts. Weirdly enough, despite the negativity here, I would still recommend people read this book? I feel conflicted about whether or not the book belongs among my favorites, and it would certainly be the worst book among my favorites and/or recommendations for novels if I do end up feeling it belongs there. I have to say even despite as much as this book fails, I admire what it was attempting and I think like so many works in pjo before it there was a level of unrealized potential here amongst the text that will always be mildly infuriating. I feel very strongly that this book is a whole new era in Riordan's pjo verse, despite some aspects being "cringe" or some things being literary flops and emotional failures in my opinion, i do think this novel may be one of the most "mature" pieces in Riordan's collection- even in his and Oshiro's failure to bring MOST of their narrative full circle or to tie up their loose ends I can see what they're going for and I think having a taste of that potential really did something for me. I have read lots of books that leave me staring at the ceiling for hours in wonder and awe with a feeling i cannot describe as anything other than a "readers hangover" a desire to hold onto that book and to keep it beside me for a long time just to remember reading it, and I would pick it up many times through the following week or two just to rediscover certain parts, i have to say this book has definitely not been that. However I did spend a long time looking at the ceiling pondering it, and I do think I will reread it in the next week or so- but I have less a desire to return to the events of the novel and more a desire to simply upturn more stones in the landscape and find what I am missing. I want to say I hate the book, that it has no redeeming qualities, that everyone should simply leave it behind because of how awful and excruciating I found this novel- that wouldn't be accurate. I think this is the greatest book I have ever had the misfortune to read, I have never cared so deeply for a book I cannot stand. I absolutely adore this awful thing. I feel comfortable saying that for me, personally, percy jackson will never be the same again and that this book has completely changed the field and depth of my experience. I am literally failing to put into words how this book makes me feel. I suppose this book is my most wretched child and I shall cherish it dearly.

[voxiiferous]

MUSE(?)/VERSE(?) UPDATE | Vivian Price (AKA femme!Vox)

FC: Rebecca Hall

Vivian's story is much the same as Vincent's. As a child, she read and built little mechanical toys, she realized she liked girls, and didn't like boys, she did well in school-- at least, until 1933. While Vincent Price, would, in another life, go on to pursue a degree that's half engineering and half journalism, which, in turn would lead him to a year at a newspaper and television after that, Vivian found herself doing much the same, just without the engineering-- NYU wouldn't admit women fully to that program until 1959.

And that was, annoying, deeply so, but... fine. And then she met Clarence-- technically, they met a two weeks earlier at the same swing club, before the semester transition in their third year of university, when they ended up in the same class.

Clarence was many things, the most notable of which, and the most important of them, was gay. Clarence dreamt of velvet dresses and his name in lights, and was, for somewhat obvious reasons, given the time, unable to fulfill those dreams. Instead, they sat together in the library to write essays, and pretend to the whole world, that they weren't both deeply, deeply queer.

They hit it off, and ended up working at the same newspaper upon graduation. Rent was cheaper split two ways, and it meant people didn't ask questions. They got married six months later, and when, six months after that, he got the offer to make the transition to television as the star of some new sit-com, his one condition was that Vivian came too.

And she did, and oh how she loved it. Sure, she might have been playing the role of the pretty assistant, but it felt fascinating and modern, and at least some of the people on set respected her, a few more showed her how the cameras and the technology all worked. For the first few years, she spent quite a lot of time learning the inner workings of all of it-- anything for the chance to make it higher in the network, to become something more than a living prop.

During the war, it seemed like she's finally get that big break, what with so many of the men leaving, and in fairness, she did! From assistant to news desk and voice of the advertisements, occasionally filling in roles on the other sets where needed.

And then the war ended and the men came back, and her nice position with more respect, always just a little bit off having all the power she wanted, fizzled out, despite the fact that she does everything right.

Her story ends in rather much the same way as another world's Vincent Price. Her ambition gets the best of her, she blackmails her way to a position she's then killed for. Somethings, however different, all stay the same.

In Hell, Vivian takes the name 'Vox', and takes the being an Overlord with a vicious sort of ambition, the same luck that helped another Vox become so powerful so quickly, the same media, the same streets falling to her.

Three years later, Clarence, caught up in the Lavander Scare, dies and, when he realizes he can just be open about it, sheds his suits and his role as the straight man and love interest to become her headlining act in drag. It takes death, but 'Clara' gets what he wanted.

And Vivian? Well down in Hell, she owns the media, and there's no network executives and 1950s expectations holding her back from shaping it into what she wants.

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

Here’s part two of my post about Peet’s introduction in The Wingfeather Saga show episode 2 “The Mysterious Map”! (no spoilers unless you haven’t seen the episode)

So Peet and Janner leave Glipwood Forest and Peet grandly- but without words- presents the ball back to the assembled children outside.

also I have emotions about Leeli saying “Hi Mr. the Sockman!” and waving to him help

You could write a whole other essay probably about the kids varied responses in this scene. Most of them look bored or annoyed to see Peet, and interestingly enough, none of them are afraid. You’d think that a crazy guy who runs around fighting street signs (true story) and talking to himself in gibberish would make a group of lone kids a little nervous, but he doesn’t. Which, to me says that he’s presented such a harmless persona around town that the kids see him and are just like, “oh it’s that weird guy again.” (which is pretty much Janner, Tink and Leeli’s reaction when we’re introduced to Peet in the book).

Also I’d just like to take a moment and point out Sara’s face: she looks like such a little leader and so stern and almost fierce and it’d be adorable and funny on another kid’s face but Sara, hhhhh oh Sara and what that girl goes through, what she becomes, and getting to see the tiniest glimpse of that here is just *chef’s kiss* (all I can think of is the scene where she meets Artham in book 3)

ANYWAY so here’s the second time Peet bows

It’s interesting that he’s not smiling here. You’d think that, with the image he normally presents of just being a goofy crazy guy he’d be grinning or something. But he’s not. He just looks sad and tired. And this is after we saw him smile at Janner and even laugh a little after protecting him. (And in the first episode he also smiles at Janner) It makes me wonder if he smiled a little at Leeli when he came out of the forest and she said hi to him before looking sad again (because he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay with the kids long).

Because while Peet is always happy to see the Igiby kids (and hopefully they continue to show this) he’s unbearably sad when he has to leave them.

(also oh my goodness put him out in the light and he does not look well at all someone please help him-)

And then Podo shows up. And he gives this look to Peet:

Just a casual death glare thrown across a field, but anyway, look at the effect it has on Peet:

He goes from this, where he looks strikingly noble, head up, eyes lifted, eyebrows raised. He doesn’t look happy, exactly, but he looks almost… hopeful.

And then after Podo glares at him he shrinks back and looks like this:

He has visibly drawn in on himself- tucked his chin/head down, eyes downcast, shoulders hunched, eyebrows drawn together. He looks like a chastised child, like Podo just yelled at him instead of looked at him.

Obviously these scenes are telling us that Peet and Podo have a history together, and that whatever that history is Podo hates Peet and doesn’t want him anywhere near his family (Peet notably keeps a distance from the kids after this moment, he hangs back and only watches them longingly, with a deep sadness in his eyes). It’s also showing us that Podo has some sort of authority over Peet, an ability to cow him into submission. Because Peet isn’t a coward, we just saw that in the forest when he leapt between Janner and danger! And we know Peet can be fierce, because we saw how he looked when he did that. And yet Podo has made him look like a beaten puppy with just one glare.

Peet looks like he expects retribution for what he did (and he’s done… nothing?) and he’s right to, as people who have read the books know. And listen, Podo is a great character and I love him, but how he treated Peet is objectively awful and it makes me very angry.

Anyway, the kids have their farewell conversations (and Peet noticeably doesn’t fade from the background of these, you can see him hanging back and looking sad when Sara and Janner are discussing zibzy points) but Janner doesn’t forget whatever just happened. He looks back twice and finds Peet watching him from the trees with the most dejected heartbreaking expression:

And here’s my final note about the lighting: Peet is at the edge of the forest which is in deep shadow, but him and the tree he’s by are in the light. There’s still some faint glimmer of hope in him for a second, and he’s still solidly being framed as good and noble.

But then-

As Janner watches, he goes back into the dark.

Alright Mozie, you’re probably saying, explain the light and dark thing you’ve been going on about.

Gladly.

The darkness here represents a number of things. It’s showing us that Peet is good, yes, and it’s telling us something else too. Peet is lost. When he is with the Igiby children he is in the light, he can think, he can even be happy. When he doesn’t have them he is in the darkness, trapped in his own mind, a prisoner to his thoughts, trauma, shame and pain. He needs them to break out of that darkness. And they need him. Oh do they need him.

It’s showing us that the Igiby kids are his light, and without them he is trapped in darkness.

TLDR; The Wingfeather Saga show is showing us that Peet is a complex character in approximately two minutes by showcasing his kindness, protectiveness, mental instability, deep sadness, loneliness, the fact that Podo hates him, and his connection to the Igiby children.

Can’t wait to see my boy again and hopefully write more long posts about him! *hugs Peet*

[leninova1997]

"Doom3guy/Doom marine now got his own name, backstory, relations and well deserved character depth." Will you keep his name a secret until you release the novel?

Can you talk a little bit about his personality?

It's okay if you prefer not to share due to spoilers, I'm just curious but I respect if you prefer to keep it a secret.

Hey, thank you so much for the questions! 😍😍😍

Well, yes, it is going to be a big-big secret. 😂😂😂 Not because the name is anything mindblowing, its more about teasing from my side. Im pretty sure though some people will be surprised by it (maybe just a little bit). And no, it has nothing to do with the OG canon names like Taggart and Blaskowitz. Its standalone in a special way

Oh boy, his personality. Where do i even start? 😁😂😂

I always described him as a cold, heavily determined and straightforward person. Mostly he only cares about accomplishing his task (when he is in the "zone"), anything else can wait and will wait. This never could be possible without hardening during actual conflicts. The years while being on the battlefield taught him a few very valuable lessons about warfare and himself too. This kind of control always elevates his distant and calculating side along with low emotions and high concentration. He wants to be as invulnerable as possible, no matter how much he has to shield his human side. But in such deadly conditions, who can blame him?

He is a badass, no doubt. Not many people even with his experience, expertise and self regulation or with much more would have been capable of carrying out such an act as he did. Im sure he was surprised to some extent when he returned back to Delta and had a moment of peace for himself while leaning next to the wall.

Then, theres his other side that is much more caring and kinder than anyone would expect. Most people wouldnt even guess this because his "naturally shown" behavior toward strangers is also very distant, argumentative, detached, restrained when it comes to communication and connections. But for special people, like his family, wife (yes, in my headcanon he is married) and daughter he is like a total opposite. He is not only always there to support but to become a reliable example of trust (and very often he is). He takes care of his family as seriously as possible (like how he does in the military) and doesnt mind if he has to sacrifice his own needs in the process. He believes its the responsibility of the head of the family and refuses to even question this line of logic (thanks to this, he sometimes becomes too overprotective).

He also likes to present his inner emotions to them in the most honest extension. Its very noticeable how much he smiles (which suits him very well) and laughs during these times. Or share his worries and pain with members who he expects some encouragement from. Or maybe, he just needs some comfort from his memories and/or the hypocrisy of society/the world. Its truly rare, however, such simple things will help him out tremendously.

He also has a huge heart and not afraid to aid those who deserve it. He cannot stand immorality and corruption: if something or somebody shatters his faith (like his belief in the corps), nothing will keep him around in his soul anymore and wont obey in the way he used to (doesnt care if this brings danger to his life).

This is still not the whole picture though, but i hope this essay/posting means enough aid to get to know him better in my writing. 😊

[tomgrrl]

Perler hell

One of my final projects this year is to do an “un-essay.” What is that? You might be asking, well an un-essay it's a project that you do displaying what you've learned this year instead of just writing an essay about it. And I have to give it to her, it's an interesting way to wrap up the end of the year. Except, the things she expects us to do for this project are a bit… well unique. Some suggestions of things we could do were write and perform a song, crochet a primate, make a painting of a primate, and create a 3D model of a primate. Now not all of these ideas are bad, but the more creative you become the higher the potential to get an A is. So of course, I (in my overachieving glory) decided to make a mandrill out of perler beads. Now this statement prompts a couple of questions. One, what's a mandrill? and two, what are perler beads? Well, a mandrel is a primate, or a bit more specifically a monkey, it's got a bright Red Nose and a blue snout. It's pretty distinct so you'd know one when you saw it. Perler beads, on the other hand, are the most impractical project materials. Perler beads are tiny beads you place on a pegboard and then melt together to create a mosaic. Now originally my idea seemed very cool and easy so, I figured I would document my progress and include it in my explanation slideshow, but what I failed to realize was the sheer amount of time and patience it would take to complete. Not only did I have to spend $53 on perler beads and a pegboard, but it is taking me 46 hours to get halfway done. And I suppose that's my own fault. I underestimated the sheer volume of perler beads that would be necessary for this specific project. I also underestimated the size of my fingers. I have always been on the smaller side, in the sense that I’m only 5 foot 2 and have pretty petite features, so I assumed foolishly that my tiny little baby hands would be small enough to pick up the perler beads and place them in the pegboard. Oh, how wrong I was. Now while my hands are still small, the perler beads are much smaller and suited only for the hands of a four-year-old. I ended up having to make a makeshift tool to pick up the perler beads because the tip of my tweezers was too big to pick up the perler beads. My tool consisted of an exacto knife that I would wedge into the whole of the Perler beads and use to carefully pick it up.All in all, that wasn't a terrible idea. And an additional 24 hours later I finally finished my mandrill only to drop it and have to redo half of it again. What did I learn from this whole ordeal? Don't be creative, just write a stupid essay. This is when the chronicle of an overworked underpaid college student.

[sunfl0wersymph0nies]

Desperately evading capture, tormented by the pursuer, my mind. Words we exchanged burn like paper cuts across my tongue. Can you not see the damage you've done?

I used to be whole before I kissed your lips and let you in. Chipping away at me under my skin. A decade of this game is indeed in bad taste given how we'd act like those missing years were a waste.

These days you text me in paragraphs, condescending.

My darling when I told you that I would rearrange the alphabet in a thousand ways to just have halved what I wanted to say to you, I never expected you to type words in that order. The tension I couldn't even begin to conceive. You carefully constructed those paragraphs to just keep me interested, "I don't want to lead you on" - giving me a little, teasing me with your time. On my knees at your altar, praying for your help, it was better when you wouldn't reply.

Tension that grew, through essays sent. With the underlying issue of you and I being danced over like it meant nothing but everything at the same time. You said the words 'I care' but I couldn't read. I don't believe.

You played your move well, I hurt you. So you did what you knew would break me, enforce the nostalgia of those hellish five years. Hot and cold. Remember those days when you'd play this game? And you'd see me across the road - it caught up with you, 'im lost living with all this shame'. Those are your bittersweet words, my love, why are we doing this again? For you to cry into my arms again in 5 years' time and apologise once more?

Leaving me this breadcrumbed trail of delusional hope, making me sound crazy to those who aren't us. Singing that song on that day for the world to see was bold, but who would know? Only I.

"hello you" before silence. teasing me with your presence. you know exactly how to keep me waiting, patiently, silently. holding on to the rope until my hands are bleeding. just in time for you to become my hero and nurse me back to health before more radio silence.

oh my love, my diary i am so sick of this game.

but alas I'm the one to blame, I fell for the hope of your name, freedom.

[overlydramaticinephile]

the aftermath.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!reader (no physical descriptions)

Summary: Steve and reader have a heart to heart after their first time together.

Word count: 1.2k (this is probably more of a blurb idk but i'm excited!!)

Warnings: Season 2 Steve, arguing, mentions of sex, level 1 angst, fluff mmm i think that's it. English is NOT my first language. Not proof read.

A/N: so, i was trying to write part 3 of just one kiss but i was stuck i'm so sorry BUT i still wanted to post something so...here's a lil something. Again, inspired by the other king, pacey witter. thank you very much.

ANYWAY HOPE YOU ENJOY ILY <3

Steve and Y/N have been dating for 3 months now. They started off as friends though she already had a massive crush on the guy. It wasn't until Tina's 1984 Halloween party that Steve and Y/N began what would be a beautiful friendship. He needed someone who he could truly count on and Y/N seemed to be needing the same. So one thing lead to another and soon enough both of them would be telling each other how they felt. It changed everything and I don't mean the fact that they added romance in the mix.

Steve and Y/N were one of those couples that liked to count every mile stone in their relationship, either because this was becoming Steve's most serious and longest relationship so far or the fact that Y/N also loved all that corny stuff. So naturally, they decided without telling each other of course, that they would finally have sex on their 3rd month anniversary. Again, corny, but to them it was another big step. They were scared that it would threw their whole dynamic off, so if it happened, it happened.

So now we find ourselves four days after the big night, which did in fact happen.

Steve had been blowing off Y/N these past few days. She though he might need some space after...that. But she didn't expect him to be so cold towards her, it was almost starting to feel like the old Steve. King Steve. Which made her mad of course. They shared something intimate and special and he just pushes her aside? Hell no.

On day five, Y/N had enough. She would confront Steve on the issue. Let's just say it didn't go well. Steve once again was cold and acted like he couldn't wait to end the conversation with her. He of course denied any of her doubts but she was still not convinced, which he could tell yet he didn't seem to care. But of course that's what she thought.

After the fight, Y/N decided to storm out and leave the school for the day. It was pouring rain yet she didn't mind, she actually found it appropiate. Steve followed her to the car and got in. Truth was he was being an asshole who didn't want to lose her.

Y/N had a disappointed look on her face, not towards him but towards herself. She couldn't believe she fell for all that.

“Get out.”

Steve shook himself a little bit to get the excess of wetness off his hair. Not that it worked. “We're not done.”

Y/N found that hilarious. “Oh yes we are.”

“Y/N I know that my behaviour the last few days has been a little bit confusing and I'm really sorry for being so cold and so distant but a lot of stuff has been happening and I don't know, I don't even know where to start.”

“You can start by getting out of the car.” she gave him this serious look that he knew meant she wasn't messing around yet he decided to push his luck, which wasn't that big.

Steve sighed and finally looked her steady in the eyes. “Why don't I try starting with the truth?”

Y/N's love for Steve won. She did kinda want an explanation, so she waited for him to continue. His explanation better be essay good.

He started to take out something out of his backpack. A paper that was now a little damp yet still readable. “My history quiz. I never told you my grade.”

Y/N took the piece of paper carefully and examinated it. Her eyes widen you might think they would pop out of her head. “Steve…you got an-”

“An A. I got an A. It's the first A I've ever gotten in my entire life Y/N and it kind of threw me for a loop.”

“Why? You worked so hard for it.”

Y/N has been tutoring Steve a couple times a week everytime she came to his house, of course it ended in makeout sessions but it was part of their routine too. So even though Y/N was mad at him, she couldn't help but feel so very proud.

“Because, it changes everything. Don't you see everything's always been so predictable for me but now my whole life course is changing and ever since you and I slept together I felt anxious. Wondering if we should have waited, should we have slowed down, questioning whether or not it was the right thing to do. Wishing that I had taken the high road and that's not me.”

She kept giving him her full attention while Steve kept getting more nervous about opening up. This had never happen to him before. Any of it for that matter. Yet he decided to keep going.

“You know, the only comfort about being Steve Harrington was that I always knew what to expect. And now, I don't have a clue and I'm terrified. And that's why I was pulling away from you.”

After making heavy eye contact that said a thousand words, Y/N decided it was her turn to say something.

“It's okay to be scared Steve. I mean, the world is a scary scary place. But Steve, I don't want you to be scared of me.”

Steve scoffed at that.

“How can I not be Y/N? You're the one that's opening up this whole life for me and I'm just, I'm afraid that…”

“What?”

Well, it was now or never.

“I'm afraid because you are the single most important being to ever grace my existence. Y/N, I am falling hopelessly in love with you.”

They locked eyes again but you could now see Y/N fully stunned while Steve's hair was finally drying.

Steve looked at Y/N's mouth, waiting for some words to come out of it. But when it didn't he knew he had to keep going.

“Say something, please. Because I just kind of cut it open and lay it out for you.”

Y/N let out a nervous laugh, because even if she didn't want to admit it, love and trust didn't come easy to her.

“Yeah. That was…pretty scary.”

Now it was Steve's turned to laugh. “That's it. That's all you have to say.”

Y/N started smiling so big, not that Steve was noticing because embarrassment had taken over him so he just looked ahead to the parking lot. What was he supposed to do now? Say goodbye and get out of the car and walk through the storm? Probably.

Y/N kept looking at Steve with such admiration and content. “No. I'll say that…I share your fear.”

That made Steve turned his head so fast his neck hurted a little bit. “Yeah?” he said smiling wide.

“Your exact fear.”

Steve and Y/N couldn't help but keep smiling at each other for a while until they started kissing again. A needy kiss in fact. After five days of pure small talk and politeness, they missed each other.

And after this conversation, those three months seemed to go by so fast that they couldn't wait to keep hitting mile stones and living their best life, together.

The end.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING. FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED AND PRETTY PLEASE COMMENT IF I SHOULD DO MORE SHORT/BLURB POSTS <3

[qqueenofhades]

The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

[esther-dot]

“The things he has told us time and again over the course of years that he told D&D? The things the fandom wants to believe are strictly their fuckery? Like say, Stannis burning Shireen, King Bran, Dark Dany?”

Can you share where George told us ‘time and again’ that he told D&D about Dark Dany? Because from what I know, the three things George RR Martin confirmed he’s told D&D were Stannis burning Shireen, King Bran and the Hodor moment. I don’t remember him saying anything about Daenerys’ ending, I’d be happy if you enlightened me, I’d love to see the interview/post.

Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t careful enough there! Martin has said many times over the course of years, that he has known his main endings and plot points for years/decades. He has also said he shared these with D&D, that he expected the show to have the same endgames, and before and after s8 he has spoken of how faithful an adaptation of ASOIAF Game of Thrones is. Obviously they have huge divergences, but I think those are in the how the endgame is reached, less the what. That’s the part of “he told us time and again” that I meant, not that I have heard him explicitly say, “Dany dies a villain.”

But, he did say this of the infamous Meereenese Blot Essays:

Then he went on to add that sometimes there's an essay or even a series of essays that "really gets it right". He specifically cited the difficulty he had with the Meereenese sections of ADwD, trying to figure out the POV, and he called it the "Meereenese Knot." He admitted being annoyed when some turned it into "the Meerenese Blot", but someone made a series of essays with that title. "I read those when someone pointed them out to me, and I was really pleased with them, because at least one guy got it. He got it completely, he knew exactly what I was trying to do there, and evidently I did it well enough for people who were paying attention." Of course, he added that some other essays depress him when people get everything wrong, and when people get everything wrong, well, whose fault is it? It could be his fault because he didn't write it well enough, but who knows? (link)

Here are some quotes from those essays:

But when you look past the unreliable narrator and POV-character bias, Martin’s aim becomes clear. The whole plotline is designed to maneuver Dany into a mental place where she’ll decide to sideline her concerns for innocent life, and take what she wants with fire and blood. Martin’s triumph is in handling this character development in such a natural and organic way. He gives Dany as much agency as he can — her hand is never truly forced by the Harpy or slavers. He presents her with incredibly difficult situations, places her core values into conflict, and makes her choose. Her choices first go one way — then another.

Now, the transformation is complete. The Dany we knew at the end of ASOS is gone. The one who reaches Westeros will be a very different person. The dragons are now unchained, and the gloves are off. (link)

and

In parts I-IV of this essay, I’ve laid out my main argument that Martin has designed Dany’s ADWD plotline quite deliberately to focus on her struggle within herself. She tries to be concerned for innocent life, and fears unleashing her violent impulses. Eventually, she sacrifices a great deal for peace, and achieves it. But she turns out to hate it, and in the end rejects it, in favor of “fire and blood.” 

and

In contrast to Daario, Martin tailors the traits of Hizdahr zo Loraq to represent the path of peace through political compromise. Dany’s feelings toward him are exactly how she ends up feeling toward the peace — like the peace, Hizdahr is unsatisfying, frustrating, not what Dany truly wants, and cannot make her happy — and instinctively, she wants war more. 

and

Dany’s sexual satisfaction is a metaphor — the reality of peace can’t truly satisfy Dany, only war can (link)

So, no, Mr Martin didn’t look into a camera and say, “Dark Dany is real and everyone who says so isn’t a hater or partaking in a ship war.” But I’m not sure how you read the essays and what he said about them and deny that’s the path she’s on?

I also think the way he regularly included “the major beats” in his discussion about endgames being the same in the show and books indicates the burning of KL was always in his mind, but even if he didn’t say so, I don’t think it’s a weird conclusion to come to. Not if you relate Dany entering a funeral pyre because she is blood of the dragon and emerging with her dragons to the later quotes about Aerys wanting to turn KL into a giant funeral pyre so that he could be a dragon. It’s just not much of a leap at all to realize, oh, the author is building to something here. (link)

My words could have been clearer, but I think Dark Dany is just like Stannis burning Shireen. It makes sense, it’s foreseeable, but fans like Stannis so they refuse to believe it without seeing the words on the page. Fine. But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t where Martin always intended to go. His quote about Feldman’s essays is from 2015.

The other Martin quote that seals the deal for me regarding Dark Dany is the fact that he called her a threat and compared her to the Others:

MARTIN: Well, of course, the two outlying ones — the things going on north of  the Wall, and then there is Targaryen on the other continent with her  dragons — are of course the ice and fire of the title, “A Song of Ice  and Fire.” The central stuff — the stuff that’s happening in the middle,  in King’s Landing, the capital of the seven kingdoms — is much more  based on historical events, historical fiction. It’s loosely drawn from  the Wars of the Roses and some of the other conflicts around the 100  Years’ War, although, of course, with a fantasy twist. You know, one of  the dynamics I started with, there was the sense of people being so  consumed by their petty struggles for power within the seven kingdoms,  within King’s Landing — who’s going to be king? Who’s going to be on the  Small Council? Who’s going to determine the policies? — that they’re  blind to the much greater and more dangerous threats that are happening  far away on the periphery of their kingdoms. (link)

I just don’t think he accidentally called her one of “the much greater and more dangerous threats” if in his mind she wasn’t, ya know, a threat to the people of Westeros. That quote is from 2014. There’s also the oft referenced the dragons are the nuclear deterrent quote which I can’t find the original source for at the moment, but I take the above as confirmation of what Dark Dany enthusiast have long argued. Martin reading this quote:

“the reality of peace can’t truly satisfy Dany, only war can”

and saying, He got it completely, he knew exactly what I was trying to do there…well, it feels like an answer to the Dark Dany question.

[burnitalldowndarling]

Wow. I was just looking for Raksura fanart and blundered across this, and... just wow. I’m gonna have to rant about this.

OK, so, the whole point of using non-human characters in fantasy and science fiction is allegory. Tolkien’s elves are (massive oversimplification but) “What if Christians actually tried to live like Christians are supposed to?” Star Trek’s Vulcans exist to make the show’s human audience contemplate how much emotion factors into our identities and questionable decisions. And Gene Roddenberry clearly did not believe emotions were evil or detrimental; the Vulcans are a thought exercise, not an endorsement. Everybody gets this, right?

Not this reviewer! Why run on normal logic when you can run on pure, grade-A anti/purity batshit?

There is a place in speculative fiction for stories about discriminatory social rules. It’s not nearly as large a place as some authors think, but if you’re going to comment on the evils of bigotry, you often need some bigotry in the story. That said, there’s almost never a reason to bake that bigotry into the rules of your world. (emphasis mine)

This may be a shocking statement, but in real life, caste systems and rigid gender roles are bad. Even so, lots of people love them, because some people just can’t let go of bad ideas. When such discrimination is magically enforced, it validates the people who would love to see something similar in the real world. For the rest of us, it’s just unpleasant.

Oh, are caste systems and rigid gender roles bad? I had no idea. /s

But want to know one good reason why a writer might want to “bake bigotry into the rules”? To fight it.

How do you point out the absurdity of gender essentialism in real life? You could write essays or analyze data, but how do you do it in fiction, in a way that won’t bore or annoy your audience? There are a few ways, but one tried and true technique in fantasy is to... create an allegorical society that has gender essentialism. Then you dial that gender essentialism up to eleven, so that even the most oblivious person can’t miss it. Then, once you’ve set up your Very Gender Essentialist Society, you give readers a reason to question it. Wells does this through the lens of Moon, who exists at the nexus of his society’s biological and social roles re sex and gender -- but he’s an outsider, and one who has also experienced massive trauma related to his sex/gender. He cannot live like a typical consort, and so the people who come to love him and want to support him must push back against their society’s expectations of him -- i.e., they need to basically become their society’s equivalent of feminists/queer activists/true allies. And they do! Violently! It’s beautiful! These books are a deeply satisfying read for those of us who live on the receiving end of IRL bigotry, because they say to their audience, “Bigotry exists, but it can be changed. You won’t have to face it alone; there are people who will fight for and with you. If these weird dragon-bee people can do it, with their tremendous differences, it should be more than possible for us.”

But the review just handwaves all this. I can’t tell whether the reviewer doesn’t see it, or if he’s just chosen to ignore everything that doesn’t support his thesis, no matter how much he’s got to pretzel the book to make it fit. For example, the review basically calls the Raksura racist... for objecting to the Fell’s violent forced-breeding attempts.

I know I said the Fell aren’t obviously POC coded, but that sounds an awful lot like what white supremacists say about anyone with darker skin than them. It also casts the heroes as not just trying to stop rape, but also being disgusted at the idea of any mixing between Fell and Raksura. Gotta keep the bloodlines pure, I guess! 

This is just... stupid. It’s so stupid that I can’t even wrap my head around it. Does this person even understand what bigotry is? It’s like they don’t even notice the power dynamics. White supremacists object to “race mixing” because they literally don’t think BIPOC are human. Only humans deserve bodily autonomy and the ability to consent, in their view, so whenever they have the power to act on their prejudice, they commit human rights atrocities.  See: American slavery. But I guess the real white supremacy was the slaves feeling disgusted after Ol Massa shows up and starts raping and whipping people, amirite?

This is not to say that all fictional depictions of bigotry are anti-bigotry. What I’m saying is that you need to actually understand how bigotry works if you’re critiquing it -- and it’s very clear that this reviewer has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. The Raksura don’t object to interbreeding because they're prejudiced against the Fell, but because the Fell are raping and murdering them en masse. Like, by this reviewer’s logic, the real problem with the Rape of Nanjing is that China’s still mad about it.

Like how the fuck do you claim to be doing a social justice reading of a text and insinuate that the victims were the real bigots all along?

Don’t Magically Enforce Bigotry

There is a place in speculative fiction for stories about discriminatory social rules. It’s not nearly as large a place as some authors think, but if you’re going to comment on the evils of bigotry, you often need some bigotry in the story. That said, there’s almost never a reason to bake that bigotry into the rules of your world.

This may be a shocking statement, but in real life, caste systems and rigid gender roles are bad. Even so, lots of people love them, because some people just can’t let go of bad ideas. When such discrimination is magically enforced, it validates the people who would love to see something similar in the real world. For the rest of us, it’s just unpleasant.

I do not believe this was the author’s intent. Everything I know about Martha Wells suggests she’s fairly progressive. My best guess is that she was modeling the Raksura off eusocial insects like ants and bees. But, as we’re so fond of saying, the author’s intent is far less important than what they actually wrote. It’s also a bad parallel, since insect queens don’t actually issue commands to the rest of the colony; they’re just instinct-driven egg factories.

live link, archived link