#did not buy meat at the store today because its too expensive

[thecanyonandthelight]

this is such a vent but I also wish I was an animal because being an adult human is so STRESSFUL. wolves don't have credit scores. I wouldn't even have to worry about housing because the whole forest would be my home and I would know exactly how to feed myself without capitalism getting in the way

[2326315]

Economically underprivileged going hungry

Wolverhampton’s impoverished are under food crisis with soaring food prices.

By Dayoun Chin

Tue 9 May 2023

WOLVERHAMPTON, May 9 – The price of living has increased rapidly in the United Kingdom, increasing by 15.7% in April, breaking the record for the highest inflation rate in the food category, according to the British Retail Consortium (BRC). Helen Dickinson, the Chief Executive of BRC said, “We should start to see food prices come down in the coming months as the cut to wholesale prices and other cost pressures filter through.” Despite the positive outlook, the already-squeezed households are suffering from the shortage of food.

On April 22, the Elias Mattu Foundation Food Bank located in Owen Road, Wolverhampton announced on its Instagram account its possible closure. “As much as we don’t want to, we might have to close the Elias Mattu Foundation Food Bank. We have enough food for another two to three weeks. We feel so sad today to announce this news. Hoping for a miracle to continue our food bank,” the post said.

The Elias Mattu Foundation Food Bank supports families, the elderly, and international students in financial hardships by sending food parcels including staple food, tinned food, and vegetables. With the local food banks being threatened to close, those who are in need of help are at risk of getting their food cut off.

So-eun, 22, is an international student studying at the University of Wolverhampton. “I worked multiple shifts back in Korea to earn the living expenses for my time here in Wolverhampton. I cannot work in the United Kingdom because I do not have a visa, so I have a limited amount of money to spend during my stay here.”

She saved more money than the estimated amount of expenditure, based on the total spending of her seniors who studied in the United Kingdom, but it is running out.  “Everything is so expensive now compared to their price a few months ago. This means I have to cut down expenses somewhere, and I have no choice but to eat less. I don’t remember the last time I ate out. I am comparing the prices for every item I purchase, down to decimals, and it is wearing me out. The currency exchange rate getting worse for me, making the situation even worse. I might even have to reach out to my parents for extra money next month, something I desperately wanted to avoid. It just feels impossible for me to make ends meet,” she said.

So-eun used to buy fresh groceries like meat, fruit, and vegetables but said her eating habits have changed due to inflation. “Nowadays, I am buying more frozen food, instant noodles, and items on sale near expiry dates to fill my stomach. The cheapest eggs that I am buying are rarely in stock because everyone is buying the same ones. I go to the grocery store in time for them to restock, just to make sure,” she added.

“I am skipping meals as well. I used to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I am having brunch or skipping breakfast altogether. It is cheaper and more filling to have big meals with my friends and flatmates at dinner rather than eating by myself, and I know many of my friends are in the same situation. We are shopping bulk products and splitting it up to cut the expenses, too,” said So-eun. She regrets not doing it earlier on.

Bruce, 48, is living in Dudley Street, Wolverhampton with his dog. He has been getting help from passers-by. “I get by from the changes and food. Everything has gone up ten pence or more, and I am forced to make cheaper choices because my dog and I completely rely on the help of others. Thankfully, people here have been really generous, and they are helping me out constantly despite the inflation,” he said. People walking by him on Dudley Street have been sharing their food and change, even handing some snacks to his dog. Bruce did not immediately eat the hot pizza given to him by a pedestrian. Instead, he put it in his backpack to eat later when he became really hungry because he never knows when he will get food.

He is not reaching out to food banks or churches for either financial or food aid because he feels like there are people who need more support from those facilities than he does. “I just wish the government will offer more housing opportunities and food for the homeless,” said Bruce.

After speaking out about their difficulties, the Elias Mattu Foundation Food Bank has received donations, including one thousand pounds from a single donator. Urgent donations in need include tinned food like beans and tomatoes, cereal, and rice. “We need your help with donations to continue our support for the elderly and vulnerable people in need,” the Elias Mattu Foundation Food Bank stated.

[kokomeong]

About Free Range Eggs

When I was a kid, eggs were one of the most luxurious dishes my family could afford. Once every one or two weeks, my mom would buy eggs and made us her inherited secret recipe of shallot and chili fried egg. The recipe, she said, was invented by her father as a result of living in a poverty. One of the ingredients was a duck egg, which was and still is significantly more expensive than a regular chicken egg. In Javanese markets and stalls, duck eggs are not sold per kilo, but per egg. One egg would cost around 3,000 IDR today. Not until I was a teenager my mom told me that the duck egg was important element and that it could not be just any duck egg. When my mom took me shopping for groceries at the traditional market across the street of our rented house in Kotagede, she started explaining about the egg criteria.

The egg should be laid by a free-range duck. The duck should not be caged. And while they roam regularly and freely, they should be fed their natural diet of worms in the rice fields. This kind of method for duck farming was common in the past as the farmers could save money by not buying duck feed, but less practiced today because of the growing popularity of the modern industrial (read: western) farming approach. Thanks for the invention of the cruel A4-size battery cage, duck farmers now no longer needs to take their ducks to roam regularly at rice fields. Instead, they could be caged and be fed with artificial store-bought duck feed.

Modern laying chickens are ‘designed’ to lay at least one egg per 23 hours to maximize profit. By putting them in a battery cage, their movement is minimized and so their energy can be focused more on laying eggs. The farmers too can just sit and collect the eggs easier compared to the old, ‘inefficient’ method. After two years, the hen got to be slaughtered. In the 1980’s, my grandmother used to be a laying chicken farmer too. She let her chickens roam free from morning till evening. She did provide some cages, but the cages were big with a roof, lamp, and carpet –which she cleaned every day. The chickens were always fed with what her family had that day. The cages’ doors were never closed but the chickens always left in the morning and came back in the evening on their own. The chickens laid eggs inconsistently, the eggs were scattered along the backyard, and it was a labor work to collect them one by one. As easily predicted, the business immediately went under as it couldn’t compete with cheaper products using industrialized methods. My grandma, said, “Maybe we didn’t make it, but look at how happy our chickens were.”

Eating animals with “a happy life” probably is a concept I never heard from every religious preacher I knew. It’s not exactly their priority to discuss the most basic things we need to live as human beings: food, environment, compassion. A friend used to send me an article about The Prophet Muhammad SAW who apparently ate less meat and half-vegetarian. It was said in the article that Umar Ibn Khattab said, “beware of the meat as it can be addictive as alcohol”. The most common thing I heard from people around me was about how to kill animal with as little pain as possible, which I’m happy about. But to think that this philosophy does not also immediately translate to the treatment of animals while they live, including the cage size, the cleanliness, the transport, is beyond me. My mom never bought beef from any meat sellers in the market except one. She was a middle-aged woman from the countryside of Yogyakarta. My mom slowly but surely created more than a buyer-seller relationship with her. Turned out that this seller not only always gave her the best product (she even told us to not buy the meat if it was not good enough), but she also told the story of how the cow was treated during its life and how it was ‘humanely’ slaughtered. Later, this seller invited us many times to her small, family-owned farm house and gave us a tour, showed us the cows, even the slaughter-place. It could not be better. My mom was only a high school graduate, but she was just as revolutionary as the activists who demand better understanding and knowing where your food comes from in order to maintain our health, environment, and control of our economic needs.

When I was in Australia, that was the same experience I got whenever I visited the Farmers Market at the Adelaide Showground every Sunday morning to buy free-range eggs. In fact, I did not always buy eggs, probably only once in two or three months. However, whenever I came, I, or the seller, started the conversation about the eggs, the chickens, and their homes. The sellers would not only tell us the story, but also show the photographs and even invite you to visit their farm. I always wanted to go, but I did not have any car and I did not driver either.

Most of the sellers only brought eggs in small numbers, which I thought was in line with the idea of quality over quantity. The idea is never to force to chickens to lay eggs as much as possible to gain a bigger profit, but to offer quality products. Also, I liked the principle of buying the eggs directly from the farmers, and not giving the money to some big corporations. To resist capitalism, you don’t have to be someone who reads leftist books or joins a rally. Instead, it can be as simple as practicing direct trade and supporting small, (almost) cruelty-free businesses. It was the same year when an Australian media exposed the video of an Australia cow who was tortured by several slaughtermen in an Indonesian abattoir (the video showed that the cow was, for example, kicked, punched, or tail-cracked). If you see it, maybe you can start thinking about where your beef comes from, and whether an abattoir should be visible for public or not –because they produce the food that we eat.

Of course, you cannot just stop at and blindly believe the label. Free-range eggs, after all, represent many things I learned and embraced outside the class while I was living in Australia. Sometimes I regret about things I have not done there (mostly because of money), but most of time I feel blessed because I spent my time in Australia by choosing the way I want to live. To go to school is not about to attend the classes or do the assignments, it is about thinking and rethinking.

 PS: I am not a vegan or a vegetarian, but I support the idea to eat less and less meat, and when you do, the product should be expensive because the animals are well treated. If you want to know about the horror of the battery-caged egg industry or industrial farming in general you can just google it. However, my favorite book if you want to start being aware about this issue is “Eating Animals” that is beautifully written by Jonathan Safran Foer. You can also watch ‘Earthlings’ on Youtube.

[gardeningintrests]

Food. 1)

at the 2746 solar system, me and my crew landed on their international space station to prepare for tomorrows culture exchange. (the space inhabitants wants to understand us more apprently) me and my crew of 7 humans were the representatives foer almost every thing and i dislike that is because neither me nor my crew can rest and we have to travel everywhere (feuls expensive you know?) after we landed, we figured that what they wanted to talk about this time is food as there are a lot of stalls here in the station that are selling herbs, meat and other foods.

however, all of them were either raw meat or non cleansed plants, so me and my team ate our supplied foods as we dont have induction cookers nor anything to cook the foods and we dont want to risk having any food poinoning or stomach aches for tomorrow. we retired to our guest house early. tomorrow, we woke up quite early and proceeded to the meeting place (which we took a transportation route ??? we still dont understand how this thing works) we seem to be a bit early as there were only a few representative teams there. soon everyone is here. and just like I predicted, we were talking about foods. "Team Leader Steve, in what category are your species in?" a research team member asked me. " I would say we are Ominvores, we all eat both meat and plants." " thats wonderful! what type of plants or meat of animals that you prefer to eat usually?" my team and i are...super confused. wow how the tables have turned, they are usually the ones confused but now were getting confused at their way of asking questions. "pardon we dont quite get what your trying to ask..?" one of my team member, Jay, asked. "oh so sorry, i suddenly got excited and engaged in casual talking tone. i was asking is what do you all usually eat from both animal and plants. like how bear prefers fish and berries but could also eat honey or fruits." "ooh! okay we get it now" jay said with a smile. "it actually depends on where we live, we usually eat something call bread, which is made from yeast and flour. And humans from the east eats Braised Rice with Pork and Soy Sauce. And most of us eats chicken and beef." Jay ended the sentence with a smile too, but everyone looked at us as if we are children who showed their parents a dead mice and said its a gift and then starts to suspect if their kid is a cat spirit. "did we say something wrong?" asked one of my team members, Julia. "do all of you not eat the meat straight out of the animal? or not stright from the ground if tis plants? isnt that more fresh?"

"thats right, we heard from cooperation that you all had looked at the foods that they sold and yet you all didnt buy anything. and ended up eating your own supplied food! i knew you all were a bit weird but braised pork? why would you need to braise pork?" "and flour? whats that? is that a new kind of plant only in your planet?" " and what is soy sauce? is it some kind of liquid you all drink with your braised pork? i heard you humans like eating and drinking at the same time." we were suddenly bombared with questions that normally, they would ask slowly. "please settle down everyone! the humans may get overwhelmed by this sudden burst of questions!" and everyone settled down. (thank you commander :"D) we then proceeded to explain how we clean our food and then cook them to a certain level and then only to eat the said food. we also explain how we store and sell meat and plants so they always stay fresh no matter what. (ofc until the expirey date {also explained this to them}) (and also table ettique and manners) after the explanation, they were confused and shocked. "i dont think any of us expected to hear such barbaric kind to clean themselves and their food before eating. thought they would just use their so called fingers to eat fresh meat! " someperson suddenly said. it was the Gardos, a species that hated humans because we may be predators but we look like prey. Since we were sentenced as Predators, they said that they were ashamed of the galactic union as how can such small and frail creatures be classified as prdators? but they also look into table manners, they eat with utensils and were the first ever predator to do that when others eat with their hands (or hooves or claws). we didnt bother as we continued to explain our way of preparing and cooking food. lots of the tohers also didnt know why we were classified as preadators as in their eyes we are adorable creatures apparently. so they all aggreed to what we said and took notes. we were ordered to pass a report on all of our food and what ingredient they contain as they are afriad that most of the food may end up poinonous to other species. we all said our thanks and goodbyes and went to our ship. ------------------------------------------------------------------ a few months later, space travel wtih humans are now for some reason somewhat compulsory. on a ship with a human and other species, all of the diffrent species of aliens aboard were thrilled to see me. apprently. i heard that humans (my species) is..cute? ”oh dear human, we are glad you can join us with our adventure！“ The captain said. " yes yes! i always wanted to see a human! working with one is a dream come true!" one of the other alien (she looks like a fluffy dragon!) said after all the introduction, we went straight to work. after that, it is time for food! (yes yes food! ugh my best friend) then i figured that i would cook instead of eating packaged food. so i went to a cooking room. (it was put there to supply the air with enough oxygen and the used gas as fuel for the ship) one alien came with me as she wanted to see how i prepare and cook our so called food. i was planning on cooking pasta today. so i roughly prepared everything and started to strain the noodles. until syehtrnscik (shy-thern-shec- shick) the fluffy dragon asked me ”why do you need to pour the water out? i mean, its okay to eat it together right?" i was stunned. but i remembered im not on earth. so i calmly explain how to make pasta and the reasons for each step. until i finished explaning, my food was ready and i brought it to the cafetiria. everyone looked at the food in my hands and looked towards syehtrnscik. somehow i can feel that their eyes are filled with jealousy because she got to see me cook. but either way i enjoyed my lunch with all of my team mates, i really look foward to the future with them!

[twistedtranslations]

Kalim Al-Asim - A promise to Jamil 1&2

You can unlock this story by getting Kalim’s SR Lab Coat

Translation under the cut

Scarabia Dorm - Jamil’s room

/BAAAAM!!!

Jamil: What’s that? What’s that explosion sound!? It came from the kitchen.

Scarabia Dorm - Hallway

Kalim: I give up~~

Jamil: Kalim!! Are you unharmed? Did you hurt yourself?

Kalim: Oh, don’t worry Jamil, I’m fine! The spell to get some water out saved me especially. As soon as I put the water on myself, I escaped from the accident.

Jamil: I see... In any case, what happened? Can it be that the parents in the Asim household were trying to target the heir Kalim...?

Kalim: Tomorrow we have alchemy class, right? I totally forgot to do my homework. So I used the earthenware pots from the kitchen.

Jamil: So you failed at it, and destroyed Scarabia’s kitchen and canteen?

Kalim: My bad, my bad. I wanted to practice making a huge cracker by throwing bread, salt and blue cheese in a pot!! I thought it’d work out~

Jamil: Did you even read the textbook? Have you ever opened the practice manual and looked at the distribution charts?

Kalim: Of course! But don’t you think that naturally digged up ores are more beautiful than coals that have been changed into diamonds? That’s why I thought I wanted to make something interesting with alchemy that no one has ever made before!

Jamil: You shouldn’t lump artificially made diamonds and real diamonds together. Besides, what you are doing isn’t alchemy, but falls in the category of foolish cooking.

Kalim: Hahaha. Now that you say it! Don’t worry, I haven’t put gold in it!

Jamil: I’m getting irritated... Regrettably, being direct with him is useless. I should calm down... Whatever. I shall call a service man tomorrow and have him repair the charred kitchen. We should finish your assignment. I shall teach you.

Kalim: Thanks Jamil. Ah! But it’s better if we prioritize fixing the kitchen.

Jamil: Why is that?

Kalim: This evening I’m holding a banquet. I’ve invited a lot of 2nd years from the other dorms.

Jamil: Irritating... The refreshments...and the meals...just who is...going to make them?

Kalim: Who...you? And while you’re at it, you can make my part as well. Ah, since it’s a banquet you don’t have to be elaborate! Anything you make is tasty after all!

/BAM!!!

Kalim: Aah! Nothing happened, where did that explosion come from?

Jamil: You shouldn’t talk that much for someone who destroyed the kitchen. Besides, didn’t we have a banquet yesterday!!

Kalim: Yesterday was saturday and today is sunday. Those are the best days to party on.

Jamil: Aah~ My patience has reached its limit! I will definitely not cook. THE BANQUET IS CANCELLED!!

Kalim: Huh~~~!? The banquet is...cancelled!? Why!?

Jamil: What’s there to question! It’s only natural! Listen well Kalim, you will now go and apologize to everyone you invited.

Kalim: Really~~~~~~~!!

Mirror Chamber

Kalim: The promise I made with the invitees is important but the agreement I have with Jamil is even more important. I can’t do anything but apologize to all the invitees from the bottom of my heart. So the first person...

Heartslabyul Dorm

Riddle: The party is cancelled? ...But Kalim, did I not refuse your invite in the first place. You ran off without waiting for my reply. In any case, it is no problem for me.

Kalim: Sorry Riddle. I will definitely recompensate you. I’ll invite you to my next banquet! See ya!

Riddle: Good grief. He is exactly the same as on the day he invited me. He pays no attention to what anyone tells him.

Mostro Lounge

Floyd: What’s your order, sea otter? Hm, you’re not a customer? I’m a bit busy with the café now~

Azul: Is the party at Scarabia cancelled? The one we were invited to... It is a holiday, so us three cannot leave Mostro Lounge empty during a peak business period.

Jade: Kalim, the postponement of your party is extremely regrettable. I look forward to the next opportunity. Now, let me show you the exit.

Kalim: Azul, Floyd, Jade, sorry! I’ll invite you again!

Diasomnia Dorm

Kalim: Silver, sorry! Today’s party is cancelled. Forgive me!

Silver: Nodding off...nodding o....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Kalim: I take that nodding your head means you forgive me! Thanks! Don’t look so disheartened.

Mirror Chamber

Kalim: Alright, I’m on a real “Cancelling the party” message tour. Next is the last invitee. Let’s go!

Savanaclaw Dorm

Ruggie: No way!! I’m definitely not forgiving you!

Kalim: Huh!!

Ruggie: You told us to “Cheer up with good food and fun dances!” right!?

Kalim: Y-Yeah...

Ruggie: I was really looking forward to today’s banquet! I skipped dinner yesterday and now I’m starving...

Kalim: Sorry Ruggie... but Jamil will not allow me to hold a banquet...

Ruggie: Then what’re you going to do about my belly changing gears? I even went out and bought tupperware~

Kalim: Ruggie... I can’t believe that you looked forward to Scarabia’s food and dances to that extent...

Ruggie: Ah, I don’t really care ‘bout the singing and dancing... But I ain’t forgiving you either way!

Kalim: I see... I got it! Riddle and the others must be just as dissapointed! Okay I’ll cancel the cancellation! I’ll host the best banquet on my own!!

Chapter 2

Savanaclaw Dorm

Kalim: Okay I’ll cancel the cancellation! I’ll host the best banquet on my own!!

Ruggie: As expected of you. Then I can fill my belly ‘til it’s bursting!

Scarabia Dorm

Kalim: First of all, I should make refreshments for the guests! Is what I want to say but... I forgot both our kitchen and ingredients are charred. Hey, Jamil! Wait, I can’t rely on Jamil today...

Ruggie: Then, why don’t we use the college’s canteen. I’ll request the license.

Kalim: I see. Thank you Ruggie. You’re a good guy!

Ruggie: Shshsh... In any case today’s meal will be a treat~ (TL note: can also be extravagant)

Kalim: Since we secured a place we should buy the ingredients next.

Mister S’s Mystery Shop

Sam: Welcome! No matter what you seek, we have it IN STOCK NOW! What are you searching now?

Kalim: We want to create a lof of famous stew of the Country of Hot Sands. We came to buy all the sheep and chicken you have!

Ruggie: Hey, Kalim. Shouldn’t you check your wallet first?

Kalim: Hm? Wallet?

Sam: That is no problem for the imp of the Country of Hot Sands! I can charge his household directly.

Ruggie: Really! As expected of a son of the world famous multimillionaire Asim family. Well then, we shouldn’t only get sheep and chicken, I also want top quality marbled beef~ Just kidd...

Kalim: That’s fine! The guests will enjoy it more if there are a variety of flavors.

Ruggie: You’re really OK? Then I want to use my favorite truffles as well~ I’m not going to eat them though...

Kalim: Sure!

Ruggie: Sure!?

Kalim: Don’t hold back! This is a banquet to please the guests.

Ruggie: Then I want to eat one of the three biggest delicacies of Twisted Wonderland, an icicle mushroom! But y’know, there’s no way you’ll get something that expensive huh?

Kalim: IT’S OKAY!

Ruggie: IT’S OKAY!? But icicle mushrooms are seldomly harvested, it’s a super rare ingredient. I don’t think our college store has it...

Sam: IN STOCK NOW!

Ruggie: YOU HAVE IT!?!?!?

Kalim: You’re so reliable Sam. I’ll take all of them!!

Sam: Alright! Thank you, imps!

Kitchen

The ingredients are complete. Let’s hurry up and cook! First we toss all the meat and the beans in the pot-

Ruggie: Don’t~~~!! Kalim, can it be that you’ve got no experience with cooking...?

Kalim: Nope! At home, we had kitchen staff and when I went to the dormitory Jamil cooked for me.

Ruggie: Sigh, because you’re such a spoiled child... Okay, I’ll cook. I’ll congratulate you for gatherin’ all these high quality ingredients though. Go take a nap will ya.

Kalim: I’ll refuse! Jamil got mad because of me. I’ll have to take responsibility. That’s right, you can cook right. Please. Teach me!

Ruggie: Ugh!! That’s so bothersome but he’s not gonna listen to anythin’ I say~ Okay. Let’s make some good meals lickety-split.

Kalim: Thank you, Ruggie! I’ll do my best.

Ruggie: Let’s first cut the meat and vegetables in giant pieces with a kitchen knife.

Kalim: Ah. I’m forbidden from touching any cutlery. He told me to stop because it’s dangerous.

Ruggie: Huh!! But you want to cook by yourself right? You can’t start if you haven’t cut the ingredients.

Kalim: But I promised to Jamil... Ah, what about using magic instead of knives to cook? Wouldn’t it be interesting to use magic to eat at the banquet instead of forks and knives? Let’s see if I can mince the meat with magic. Hah~~~!!

Ruggie: Aaaaah! Kalim, calm down. Don’t use magic ‘n all the food~~~!

Kalim: And the cooking is done! What a nice smell~

Ruggie: Cooking with magic was a bit too much but you managed to follow my instructions fair’ well... You’re obedient and motivated, that’s where you differ from Leona.

Kalim: I could make the best meals thanks to you. Then-

Ruggie: Let’s dig in~~~~~...

Kalim: Let’s go and tell the invitees, that I told that the banquet was cancelled, about the cancellation of the cancellation of the banquet!

Ruggie: Huh~~~~!! Now? All of them?

Stairway

Jamil: Where did that Kalim loiter now. This time he isn’t even picking up his phone... I suddenly lost my cool. I hope he doesn’t cause too much trouble...Mumble...mumble... What’s that? There’s a lot of noise coming from the canteen. I should inspect that commotion first.

Kitchen

Kalim: Everyone, are you enjoying the banquet? I’ll bring you dish after dish~!

Heartslabyul student: Ahaha. Good going, Kalim~ Cooking with magic, you sure think of strange things.

Savanaclaw student: We’ll also prohibit the use of forks and knives! Let’s use magic to bring the food to our mouth.

Cafetaria

Riddle: After all, I could not refuse and now I too am present and stuck in this mess. He might be overbearing but it doesn’t hide any malicious intentions and he really just goes crazy in the moment...

Floyd: Hey, Azul, why did we come? Not that I mind because the sea otter is pretty funny.

Azul: The waiters of this party have placed an order from us Mostro Lounge.

Jade: It seems that a super rare delicacy, namely the icicle mushroom will be served. No doubt that this will please the manufacturer.

Silver: This is good... especially the mushroom...

Ruggie: Shshsh! Thanks to you both my belly and tupperware are bulging!

Jamil: I told Kalim to cancel the party. But why are there so many people attending...?

Kalim: Hey, Jamil! You finally came. Try my food.

Jamil: Did you use cutlery or fire!? I always forbid you from doing that because it’s dangerous...

Kalim: I cooked without using either of those by using magic. Ah, but Ruggie helped me out a lot as well... Jamil, you’re amazing after all. I didn’t know cooking was this troublesome.

Jamil: Huh...? 

Kalim: Sorry for today. But I really wanted to throw a party no matter what. I really wanted you to get along better with students from the same year.

Jamil: Kalim... I understand. But next time, please discuss this with me first.

Kalim: Okay! Gotcha! But in any case, I’m hungry! Jamil, make something for me!

Jamil: Huh!? But you just cooked yourself didn’t you!?

Kalim: What are you saying? I’m the party’s organizer. I’m just cooking and serving the food for everyone. And didn’t I promise that I’d never eat anything that wasn’t made by you!

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 194

September 21

So I didn't get done anything that involved leaving the house today, which is not great. It was just kind of a failure to launch day, I guess. I did get stuff done inside the house though; folded the laundry, made an enormous pot of spaghetti and meatballs, dewormed the kittens, etc. I will definitely have to leave the house tomorrow because when the kiddo realized tomorrow is going to be gorgeous all day, he was sad until I told him we could try doing school outside by hotspotting off my phone. (unlimited data on the family plan ftw!) He has now come up with an elaborate plan that also involves snacks and drinks, so I may have to get up a bit earlier than usual to set stuff up. I'm nobody's Pinterest Mom, but it's nice to do something a little different and fun sometimes. 

I realized I've been falling a little behind on watering my garden because I got so used to the rain, so I gave everything a good drink and perked it up today. I also harvested some more lemongrass and some ginger leaves and made a very nice tea from them. I learned today that lemongrass is perennial, so there is a possibility it might live through the winter and come back next year. It's not certain because I planted it in the most ridiculous possible spot, one of the side pockets in a strawberry pot, but it apparently liked it there well enough to grow like crazy all through the late summer. It and the lavender both survived, the cilantro grew and flowered and died, and the dill apparently didn't like being there. I did not put any strawberries in the strawberry pot this year because the plants I bought were too big. I think we may have explored this topic in the early early days of this journal but that was a thousand years ago and I do not remember. The ginger leaves just came from some ginger root that I forgot to use and stuck in an unused pot of dirt when it got all wrinkly. It grew beautifully! (Here's the strawberry pot early this summer on its trip to North Carolina. I got it in Laredo and it is one of my favorite things.)

I explained to the kiddo that today was the autumnal equinox, the day of the year where day and night are balanced, just before the nights start getting longer. He sighed and wished it was the other way around, so I also explained the vernal equinox. He was not impressed. He spent more time outdoors today and also a lot of time in with the kittens. They are at an extremely fun age right now, though apparently Audiva nearly got him chat banned on his minecraft server for typing gibberish. I can empathize, Sebell nearly installed the Harris Teeter app on my phone this evening by sitting on it. The biggest problem with the kiddo's current kitten preoccupation is definitely his allergies, poor kid. At least we have allergy meds for him. I also gave the kittens their second dewormer this evening, to take care of any nasty little roundworms. It's only Pyrantel though, so they'll probably need Drontal as well to take care of any tapeworms. Any kitten who has had fleas might have tapeworms, yucky. Better to take care of it while they are young and in foster! 

I keep telling myself that it is almost the end of the month, but it really is not. I can put off shopping for a few more days, but not ten full days till payday. The good news is I did get paid for some mystery shops I did a few weeks ago, so that's 70 dollars in pay any reimbursement that can go towards groceries. I already told my shopping people that I'm not doing any more restaurant shops this month because I'm out of money. They understand, they don't exactly have glamorous high-paying jobs themselves. I may, I suppose, do a couple of grocery store shops because I have to get groceries anyway, may as well take the edge off by getting a little bit paid for, right? If only it weren't the most expensive grocery stores hiring mystery shoppers! I have an extensive list by now that just keeps growing and growing, but the only thing I bought today was another pack of 50 disposable masks. They're cheap on Amazon if you don't mind waiting a month for them to ship, so I have just been ordering a new pack (about six dollars) every few weeks and assuming I will be ready for them by the time they arrive. 

In the meantime, I made a huge pot of spaghetti tonight so that we will have several meals worth of leftovers. I also pulled a ham out of the freezer (buy your ham after the ham holidays, so cheap!) and by the time the spaghetti is gone, the ham should be ready to cook. My husband doesn't like ham by itself much, but ham is incredibly versatile and can go into a million things. Plus ham salad is one of my favorite lunch foods ever. Anyway, I chopped up an onion and cooked it in a little butter till it was just starting to go a little golden, then threw in garlic and a pound of ground beef and a bunch of Penzey's Pasta Sprinkle. I used my Dutch oven because I wanted to make _lots._ When the meat was cooked I sponged off some of the grease with paper towels, then added an undrained can of diced tomatoes, a couple spoonsful of sugar, some salt and pepper, and three cans of the cheapest brand of spaghetti sauce. You really can't beat the convenience and volume of just oomphing up the kind of sauce that's 88 cents for a 20 ounce can. I threw in a bunch of frozen meatballs and simmered it for twenty minutes, then added a few big handfuls of mozzarella cheese and served it over angel hair. Very popular, and so many leftovers! I am the best at dinner. 

This day’s entry is already getting long, but I really ought to remember the Punching Mattress for posterity as well. The kiddo is now happy in his new bed on his new mattress, which means the old bed is kaput. I sold the twin frame in less than a day on Facebook Marketplace for 25 dollars. I paid 90 for it in 2013, so it was a good deal for both parties.  The mattress is only about a year old, but the kiddo has had a few destructive-feelings days and kind of severely messed up the fabric on one end. So it's not likely we're going to be able to do anything with that mattress and for now it is leaning against the wall in our entrance hallway like we're expecting a human cannonball over for dinner. I don't even remember who started it now, but it has become a good place to let off some excess energy by pretending you are a superhero or a championship martial artist. Yelling "punch, punch, punch!" while punching the mattress is optional but encouraged unless somebody is in a Zoom class. It's good exercise, and cathartic, too! I'm kind of melancholy about the idea of getting rid of it already.   

[purplesurveys]

1274

Department One: Apparel And Jewelry

What are you wearing today?  Just a white duster dress. Very loungewear-y, hahaha. I didn’t feel like wearing shorts today.

What does your favorite shirt look like?  At the moment I’m obsessed with my Vante shirt. It’s fanmade but it was made tastefully; the designs aren’t too loud and I love the cute little shoutouts and tributes to his past paintings, so it had been a ridiculously easy decision for me to want to buy it.

What kind of underwear do you prefer wearing?  Eh I don’t really have a preference as long as I don’t find them uncomfy.

What are your favorite kind of jeans?  I’m definitely still stuck in my mom jeans phase. Idk man, I just love how they match nearly all kinds of tops.

What do the last pair of shoes you wore look like?  They were adidas sneakers. Not a big fan of chunky shoes but it’s an Ivy Park and it was on a big discount HAHAHA so I didn’t hesitate to get them.

How many shoes do you own?  A little more than 10. I love shoes and wanna collect them someday...just not today, hahaha.

How much jewelry do you own?  Not too big on jewelry; most, if not all the ones I wear are just borrowed from my mom since we share the same style anyway.

Do you own any real diamonds or other expensive jewelry?  Yeah, the ones I would borrow from my mom are pretty pricey.

Has anyone ever gave you jewelry as a present?  Yes, I received rings and necklaces from my ex. One of my aunts also gave me a necklace when I turned 7.

Do you like diamonds or gemstones better?  I just stick with diamonds...which is...also a gemstone too, if I’m not mistaken.

Silver or gold?  Silver.

Department Two: Electronics

Do you have a DVD player in your car?  Not in mine, but we do have one in the family car. I used to watch movies on there often but after one grueling road trip where my motion sickness acted up, I haven’t wanted to use it since.

If you have one, what does your camera/camcorder look like?  I just use the camera in my phone but back in the day I used to have a DSLR; that was when I thought I wanted to take up photography, heh. It was a Nikon D3100.

How much did it cost?  I’m not sure since my dad gave it to me as a present, but a quick search told me it would’ve cost him around P20,000 which issssss wow more expensive than I thought.

What kind of cellphone do you have?  I have an iPhone 8 with an LCD screen that’s deteriorating by the day HAHA. I really need to get a new phone.

How often do you send texts?  I text just for work purposes now, so it really depends on how busy my accounts are. Some days would require me to send out more texts than usual.

Do you have your own computer or does your family share?  I have my own laptop. My workplace also provided me with what’s supposed to be my work laptop, but they had it sent to me when I was already a couple of months into my job and all my needed files and programs were already in my personal laptop. Since I was too lazy to start everything all over again, I’ve never actually used the work laptop haha.

How many computers are in your house?  We have three laptops in total - my siblings and I each have our own. Kind of a necessity these days.

Do you still have a VCR?  I don’t think so.

How many DVDs do you own?  We probably have around 30-50 but most of them are movies from like the 2000s that we just haven’t thrown out. Personally, I have about five DVDs of old films like Gone with the Wind, Rebel Without A Cause, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, etc, and recently I’ve been buying BTS merch so DVDs are part of that mix too.

Does your car have a GPS?  No. I use Waze on my phone instead.

What kind of iPod/MP3 player do you have? Haven’t used an iPod in like a literal decade. I use Spotify for my music.

How many songs are on it?  Spotify doesn’t work that way since it’s technically a database of songs.

What size is your TV?  Never bothered to ask/check.

How many TVs are in your house?  Four. Living room, dining room, master bedroom, my brother’s room.

What video game systems do you have?  We have a PS3 and PS4. 

What about handhelds?  Switch. I believe my sister also still has her DSi stored somewhere.

How many video games do you have?  Probably somewhere around 50-60. My dad and brother are content with repeating their games lol.

Department Three: Home

What kind of shampoo do you use?  It’s a Dove variant but I’m just blanking out on the specific name/what it does.

Soap or shower gel?  Shower gel.

What does your comforter look like?  It’s pretty colorful and has geometric shapes and lines.

Does it match your pillows?  Yep, they come in a set.

What size is your bed?  Twin.

Do you or your parents like to decorate the house with various things or is it plain?  My mom puts considerable effort in decorating the house but it’s nothing overboard that it feels tacky. There’s enough decor in enough spaces.

Does the furniture in your house match?  Sure. I imagine my mom would be very irritated if she felt something was uncoordinated at home.

What does your couch look like?  It’s a gray L-shaped couch. Gabie broke a portion of the couch’s springs when it had only spent its like first two weeks at home but surprisingly my mom has not noticed it yet; probably because she barely sits on that side.

How many does your dining room/kitchen table seat?  It has six chairs, though since we’re five one of the chairs is almost always unoccupied.

Do you have any fancy china?  No, my mom isn’t the type to collect those.

Do you have outside furniture?  Yeah we have a table and chairs up on the rooftop, if they count.

What do your curtains look like?  My siblings and I have pull-down blinds. The other rooms have these pulled-back gold curtains that’s accompanied by white sheers.

Department Four: Grocery

What kind of bread do you get?  Sliced white bread, always. Sometimes my mom will pick up pan de sal, but she gets those from a certain bakery and no longer the grocery.

What is your favorite kind of cake?  CHEEEEEEEEEESECAAAAAAAKE.

Do you get a lot of sweets from the grocery store?  Eh, nah. Not a big fan of sweets.

What kind of soda is your favorite?  Don’t like soda.

Do you drink juice? What kind?  I can take it or leave it. I wouldn’t buy it for myself.

What is your favorite chewing gum?  Doesn’t matter to me. The flavors last for only like a minute anyway.

Do you usually get candy from the check-out aisle?  Nah. Those are far more accessible so who knows who could’ve touched or tampered with them. Plus, I mentioned I don’t like sweets.

What is your favorite soup?  Miso or cream of mushroom.

Have you ever had soup when you were sick?  No. I don’t enjoy hot beverages/liquids very much so I doubt I would feel comfort from soup when I’m sick.

What are your favorite canned vegetables?  Not sure if it’s a cultural difference thing but canned vegetables kind of sound gross and I don’t think I’ve encountered those (I actually had to look it up lol). My parents always buy fruits and veggies as is.

What do you eat for breakfast?  Fried rice is a constant but my mom switches up the set of viands every time. Some of the meals she serves would be hotdogs, eggs (either scrambled, omelette, fried, or sunny-side up), corned beef, dried fish, hashbrowns, luncheon meat, tapa, and Vienna sausages. Poptarts or toaster strudels?  Poptarts. I’ve never had toaster strudel and I’m honestly not sure what that is.

What salad dressing do you prefer?  Spicy mayo.

Ketchup, mayonnaise, or mustard?  MAYONNAISE. I can live without the other two.

What kind of cookie do you like best?  I only ever eat chocolate chip.

What kind of snacks do you get at the grocery store?  Salted egg chips or Pringles. Not a big fan of snacks either. This survey is making me realize I’m way more into full meals than anything else.

Do you get the meat from the deli?  Er, we don’t have delis here. Too fancy a concept lmao. If we have them, they are most likely in those extremely upscale, boujee neighborhoods.

What is your favorite frozen dinner?  I mean my dad buys frozen meat, fish, etc, but the frozen dinner sets that I see in American culture, which I’m guessing is what’s being referred to in this question, are not common here.

Do you prefer frozen dinners to actual cooking?  I honestly can’t imagine how it’s filling, but then again I’ve never tried it. Personally, food made from scratch is still the best.

What is your favorite kind of pasta?  Fettuccine.

Do you eat meat? And if not, do you eat vegetarian meat?  Yes, I eat meat. I get vegan options if they’re accessible and affordable, but those choices are hard to come by here.

What is your favorite fruit?  Avocado is really the only one I’ll give a pass to. Everything else tastes horrible.

What about vegetable?  Broccoli, bell peppers, green beans.

Department Five: Health And Beauty

What kind of makeup do you normally use?  None. If I absolutely have to put on makeup, I will begrudgingly put on foundation, maybe some eyeliner, and lip gloss. And they will all most likely be borrowed from my sister.

Do you wear more makeup on special events?  Not necessarily.

What is your favorite makeup brand?  I wouldn’t be the right person to ask because I would just say none of them.

Do you use any acne products?  Mmm no, I just splash water on my face, really. I actually got into a conversation about skincare with my co-workers yesterday and besides the usual shocked experessions I get when people find out I don’t use products, they recommended I at least get moisturizer and sunscreen. Idk, let’s see but historically it’s been hard to convince me to invest in skincare haha.

What kind of perfume do you use?  I have one of Beyoncé’s perfumes, Heat Rush. I don’t actually know if that’s still in production but it’s been my staple for like a decade or so now.

Have you ever been on a diet?  No. I never really had to be on one.

What products do you use in your hair?  Shampoo and conditioner.

How often do you brush your hair?  Only when I have to leave the house or have an important virtual work meeting.

What do you take when you have an upset stomach?  Nothing. The toilet usually solves that for me lol.

Do you take any prescription medicine? Nope.

Department Six: Movies, Music, And Books

What is your favorite movie of all time?  It’s been Two for the Road for a solid nine years and it doesn’t look like anything’s on its way to dethroning it anytime soon.

What genre of movie do like best?  Drama. The more realistic it is, the better.

What was the last movie you watched?  It’s a Korean film called Be With You. I liked it and I cried waterfalls, but the ending was so rushed it was kind of disappointing.

What was the last movie you purchased?  I don’t buy movies. If I wanted to see a film I’ll check if Netflix has it, then if they don’t I just try to scour one of those illegal movie streaming sites that always happen to have thousands of pornographic ads hahaha.

What is your all time favorite band? Paramore. Do you still buy CDs?  Only from artists I’m an extremely huge fan of. Right now that would be BTS, so I’m catching up on all the albums they’ve released in the last eight years.

What was the last CD you bought?  I got the Butter album set, if that counts. If it doesn’t, the last full-length album I purchased was Dark & Wild.

What was the last song you listened to?  I think it was Permission To Dance.

What is your favorite book?  I haven’t found it yet.

Do you even like reading?  I used to love it a lot more, to the point that back in grade school I was known as always having a book in my hand. I just don’t know where that passion went.

How often do you read?  Nearly never. I mean...I do read fanfics, I guess; but I won’t count those.

Department Seven: Sports And Fitness

Do you own a bike/scooter/skateboard/etc.?  We do have a bike at home, but that doesn’t mean I know how to ride it. We don’t have the other two.

How old were you when you learned to ride a bike w/o training wheels?  I still don’t know how to last on a bike without training wheels heheh.

Have you ever been camping?  Nah.

How often do you work out?  Nope but at work my boss just started another fitness challenge, so I’ll probably have to get back on working out soon just because I would want to accomplish the challenge.

Are you in good shape?  Sure, I think so. I’m not like fit fit because I neveeer exercise haha, but I also don’t make it a point to constantly eat unhealthy foods or have an unhealthy lifestyle to the point that it affects my body.

Do you go to a gym?  I do not. I thought of getting a membership at the start of the year but I’m glad I didn’t push through with it because all the gyms are still closed anyway.

Have you ever been fishing?  No. Idk if it’s my kind of pastime or not.

Have you ever been on a boat?  Yeah. My country has like 7000 islands so I was bound to get on a boat at some point in my life haha.

Can you play golf?  Never seemed interesting to me so no. Even on Wii Sports I barely picked golf.

Ever rode on a golf cart?  Yeah, in resorts where we had to ride them to be taken to our room.

Would you ever go hunting?  That’s an easy no.

What is your favorite sport?  Pro wrestling or table tennis.

Ever played on a sports team?  No, my school didn’t have a table tennis varsity.

Department Eight: Toys

What was your favorite toy as a child?  Cash registers because I liked the buttons. Also Play-Doh sets that had those contraptions that would squirt out the clay in various shapes.

Do you still play with toys?  Well, no.

Do you collect any toys?  I don’t, but I’m not opposed to start buying Funko Pop figurines of people or characters I’m interested in.

Did you ever have building blocks?  Sure, but I was never creative enough for them.

Did you play with dolls?  No.

Barbies or Bratz? Which were better?  BRATZZZZZZ

What is your favorite board game?  Scrabble.

Do you like to do arts and crafts?  Hell no.

Do you think that kids now have it better than when you were young? For sure, but isn’t that kind of the goal?

[when-they-write-stuff]

Sheriff Stilinski’s Guide to Courting

pairing: sterek

word count: 3.3k

notes: written for an ao3 requested prompt of sheriff stilinski and his attempts at giving derek dating advice in regards to his son. i might’ve had too much fun with this.

John was pretty sure this shouldn’t be his problem.

He would rather not actively participate in his son’s love life, thank you very much. Especially when he was pretty sure his son’s ‘love life’ consisted of chaotic pining after the angry werewolf that the Sheriff had been working to put behind bars two years ago. 

See, John was pretty sure said angry werewolf might be pining after his son too. Just not as chaotically. In fact, there was no chaos. Just longing looks and angsty glares that made even John want to groan.

He was pretty sure this wasn’t his problem. His time should never be spent actively participating in his son’s love life.

But then the Sheriff realized the only way he was ever getting any mental peace again would be when his son and Derek Hale were no longer dancing around each other. And so, with a sinking heart, the Sheriff realized he was going to have to take part in making sure that happened.

First of all, he would like to say he did not ask for this. 

Second of all, it was hard.

It started when John walked past his son’s room one day, paused, and then quickly backtracked to see Derek sitting on his son’s bed.

Stiles was nowhere to be seen. The kid was still at lacrosse practice if John remembered right, and probably wouldn’t be home for another hour or so. But here Derek was, sitting. On Stiles’s bed. Alone in an empty room with his leather jacket sitting on his lap and his face always perpetually scowling. Until he saw the Sheriff staring, that was.

John blinked at him and Derek blinked back. The man had gone shock-still, looking like a deer caught in headlights, and his eyes were full-blown wide. Leaning against the bedroom door, John raised one eyebrow and sighed.

“Hello there, Derek.”

“Sir.”

“Do I want to ask what you’re doing here?”

The man shifted uncomfortably. “I’m waiting for Stiles.”

“He’s at the school.”

“I know.”

“And he won’t be back for a while still.”

“... I know.”

The Sheriff pressed his lips together and nodded. He really didn’t think he wanted to press, but he was pretty sure he couldn’t leave Derek sitting alone in his son’s bedroom either. Because that would be wrong, right? That would probably be wrong.

“Might I ask why you’re waiting for Stiles?”

For a long moment, he didn’t get an answer. Then Derek ducked his head and mumbled the word “Research” so quietly, John almost didn’t catch it. Because unlike Hale, he wasn’t a werewolf. He didn’t have super hearing, dammit. 

John made a mental note not to remind himself it was a werewolf— not just a man— sitting in his son’s bedroom. Because he was pretty sure that would create a whole new list of problems.

“So, research,” he said, almost enjoying the look on Derek’s face. “That’s all?”

“Yes sir.”

“There’s nothing else going on here?”

Derek’s face turned bright red and he quickly shook his head. The Sheriff pressed his lips together and nodded. There were a lot more things he could say; a lot more things he should probably say. But John decided that was enough interference for the day. He’d have a conversation with Stiles when he got back from practice. 

You know, about how werewolves probably shouldn’t be camping out in his room on a school day.

“Okay then,” John said, and Derek looked both shocked and relieved. “If you want a cup of coffee while you’re waiting, the kitchen’s wide open. And if you made Stiles a snack for when he gets home, I’m pretty sure he’ll be much more receptive to this… research.”

Derek stared at him with wide eyes before nodding. John chuckled and turned away, continuing back down the hall. He thought he’d handled that fairly well. Or… as well as possible, at least. How was he even supposed to address something like that?

John was pretty sure he didn’t want to get involved. He really didn’t want to get involved.

He just didn’t realize yet that he didn’t have a choice.

-

The next time John stumbled across things he didn’t mean to, he started to realize he either went along with it or moved to another town. Because Derek Hale was always there. And it seemed his son was too.

John liked when he got to do the grocery shopping because that meant he could buy the things he wanted to. Stiles never let him buy steak or frozen meals or anything actually edible when he tagged along, and when the boy went out by himself, he never came home with anything other than vegetables and whole wheat pasta. So John cherished the days when he could do the shopping himself.

The moment he entered the store, he made a beeline for the frozen meats section. But John didn’t expect to pass the ‘Personal Care Products’ aisle and see two figures standing there that he recognized very well. 

Moving slowly back, John peered at Derek and his son, and then glanced at the different packages of bandages that Stiles was holding.

“These might be cheaper, Derek,” the boy said, waving one through the air. “But they also sop up less blood. When one of us is bleeding out, Sourwolf, which would you prefer? The bandages that last five seconds and then let you bleed to death, or the ones that basically hold you together?”

“I would rather not have either of us bleeding out at all,” Derek said flatly, and the Sheriff decided truer words had never been spoken. He’d never thought he’d be listening to his son talk about his possible injury and death, but no father should have to hear something like that. Ever.

He stepped forward, clearing his throat, and both Stiles and Derek whirled around.

Derek’s eyes went as wide as saucers. But Stiles only went shock-still for a moment before putting a bright smile on his face and straightening up.

“Pops, dad, father-mine! What a coincidence to see you here!”

“Coincidence indeed,” the Sheriff said, looking at the bandages and then back at his son. “Can I assume someone is not currently dying?”

“Not yet!”

“Not… yet.”

“Stiles,” Derek hissed, elbowing the boy in the ribs. Stiles made a protesting noise of pain and elbowed the man back, and the Sheriff resisted the urge to facepalm.

This was his son, ladies and gentleman. And the Alpha werewolf he had somehow come to tame.

“So,” John said. “This is what you do in your free time?”

“Only when necessary.”

“Do I want to know what that means?”

Stiles ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, a sheepish look replacing the one of amusement on his face. “Only when we run out of bandages.”

The meaning behind that was obvious. John really questioned everything sometimes; like maybe his decision to not lock Stiles in his room and make him study online until graduation. Then he could let him back out into the world and make sure he went to college somewhere far, far away from Beacon Hills.

The Sheriff really lingered on that fantasy sometimes. Even though he knew he’d never be able to tear Stiles away from the supernatural. Not today, not tomorrow. He hoped maybe one day the boy would finally get some peace, but that didn’t seem to be in the near future.

Derek’s face was scarily pale beside the boy. John only sighed.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

“I will not,” Stiles said, dropping the more expensive bandages into the basket that Derek held and moving forward to snoop through the Sheriff’s cart. He wrinkled his nose and picked out a bag of chips, a container of cookies, and a loaf of white bread that the Sheriff had put in there earlier. “But these will. This is why you’re not allowed to go grocery shopping alone.”

“It warms my heart when my son tells me what to do.”

“Only because I care,” Stiles said with a grin, putting the items in Derek’s basket instead of back in the Sheriff’s cart. John was sad to see the cookies go. “Now you may go check out, pops. And don’t even think about making a pit stop in the frozen meats section.”

“I deserve steak,” the Sheriff mumbled. Stiles snorted.

“You deserve to live a nice long, full life without any heart problems.”

“You’re a heart problem.”

“See,” Stiles said, glancing toward Derek. “You think you have it rough dealing with me. When my dad gets hungry, he’s like a pouty teenager. Even though we all know he’s much too old to ever be considered a teenager again.”

“Okay,” the Sheriff said, grabbing his cart and starting past them. “And now I’ve had enough of my own son for the day.”

“I love you, pops!”

John only huffed. But before he moved fully by, he hesitated and grabbed a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, setting it in the basket next to the bandages. Derek’s face did fifty more things, finally resting on blank terror, and the Sheriff was quietly pleased that he could incur such fear in a man like Derek Hale.

Because Derek Hale was a werewolf. John was pretty sure that when he was shifted, even a bullet to the chest would take its time stopping him.

But clearly John’s mere presence made Derek tremble in his fancy leather jacket. 

“Quick tip,” John said quietly, leaning closer so Stiles couldn’t hear. “If you buy him a packet of Reeses at checkout, he’ll be well behaved for the rest of the day.”

Derek’s eyes snapped to the Sheriff’s face and he just stared for a moment. Then, still pale, Derek nodded. The Sheriff smiled and moved back away. He didn’t glance back, but he could feel Derek watching at him the entire time he moved down the aisle.

John didn’t buy himself any steak, mourning that loss. But he did pick up a packet of Reeses for his own self at checkout. Because he was a simple man and chocolate was therapy.

And John had no doubts he was going to need a lot of chocolate before this was all over.

-

See, the Sheriff didn’t know why he was going along with all of this. He was pretty sure it would make his life easier in the end but with a son like Stiles, he couldn’t know that for sure. 

It just seemed once the Sheriff started stumbling across things, apparently he couldn’t stop.

He tried to sneak into the diner and found Stiles laughing in a booth with Derek at his side. The man had looked like he was about to pass out when Stiles had gone to the bathroom and John had crossed over, offering a wide smile and pointing out that Stiles liked milkshakes, so Derek should attempt that.

Not a week later, Derek was arrested for standing outside the Stilinski house at night (not by John, of course. He’d gotten used to Hale and his strange habits by now) and the Sheriff had been the one to let him off, saying maybe he should consider talking to Stiles instead of silently lingering in the shadows.

One month passed and the Sheriff realized he was criss crossing paths with Derek and his son everywhere. At the movies (‘pack night’ without the pack), out in the preserve (‘stakeout’), and back in Stiles’s bedroom for a second time (except it was 2 am and Stiles was there too. John would believe ‘research’ when pigs started to fly). 

And the thing was John was pretty sure this shouldn’t be his problem.

He hadn’t asked to be caught in the middle of his son chaotically pining after Derek Hale and Derek Hale aggressively but silently pining back. Nothing John had ever experienced had prepared him for this.

And in the end, he realized it came down to him. John didn’t think that was fair at all.

To his surprise though, he didn’t have to make the first move. John didn’t expect to hear his doorbell go off that day and he really didn’t expect to see Derek Hale on the other side when he opened the door. Because Hale never rang the doorbell. In fact, John had always thought he didn’t even know that was a thing.

Derek shifted from foot to foot with his hands stuffed in his pockets. John raised a brow.

“Good afternoon, Derek.”

“Sir.”

“Stiles isn’t here.”

It was so similar to their first conversation, the Sheriff didn’t know why they hadn’t just had it months ago. Derek’s face turned bright red and he ducked his head, nodding. “I know.”

“So is there anything I can help you with?”

If possible, Derek’s face turned even brighter red. He looked at the ground for a moment before raising his eyes. “I came here to talk to you, sir.”

“You don’t have to call me sir, Derek.”

“... Sheriff?”

“John is fine, son.”

John didn’t know what he was expecting, but for Derek to look shocked and then terrified wasn’t it. For a moment, he truly thought the man would make a run for it. But then Derek cleared his throat and nodded, and John stepped aside, opening the door wider.

Derek stepped inside, glancing around. He shuffled his feet and John was pretty sure he had never seen the man look so nervous.

“So, Derek. You came to speak to me?”

“I don’t know what you’re doing, sir.”

The Sheriff blinked at him. That also wasn’t what he was expecting. “Sorry?”

“Stiles is… always around lately, sir,” Derek said quietly. “And I like him being around. But I’m… not good with that. Until you’ve helped me be good with that. But I don’t know why you’re helping me be good with that.”

Oh. Oh.

“I’m sorry,” Derek said quietly. “I can go and make sure he doesn’t come back to the loft again. I didn’t mean to—”

“Derek, what the hell are you talking about?”

Derek looked up and his expression could only be described as shocked confusion. The man glanced around the room, toward the door, and then back at John. “If you don’t want me around him. If that’s not what you meant to do. I can make sure it doesn’t happen again—”

“You will do no such thing.”

Derek’s mouth snapped closed and he just looked surprised. The Sheriff rubbed a hand over his face, sighing. “Derek, you like my son, don’t you?”

“... Sir.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Sheriff.”

“Derek.”

“John,” the man said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Please stop apologizing.”

Derek looked like that’s the last thing he had been expecting. John resisted the urge to go to the kitchen and grab a beer. He thought he deserved one, but he didn’t think Derek deserved the terror that would probably follow such actions. So instead, he gestured to the couch and, as Derek slowly moved over and sat down, sank into the armchair opposite of him.

“The last thing I want for you to do is push Stiles away,” John said. Derek’s eyebrows shot up and John waved a hand through the air. “Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t excited about it at first. But he’s… happy. More than he has been in a while.”

Derek didn’t move. Didn’t say a word. John studied his face.

“Will you ever hurt my son, Derek?”

“Of course not.”

“Will you ever put him in danger or put yourself before him?”

“Never.”

“Then I don’t know what you want me to say, son,” the Sheriff said, tilting his head. “Do you want me to tell you not to see my son anymore?”

Derek actually looked like he was considering that for a moment. And suddenly, all John could see was the fifteen-year-old kid sitting in the Sheriff’s station, wrapped in a blanket, covered in ash, and staring blankly at the floor. The very image hurt him.

Finally, Derek shook his head. “No, sir.”

“John.”

“No… John.”

“Then let me get you a drink,” John said, pushing himself up and moving toward the kitchen. He stayed in there longer than was probably necessary, but he was still trying to figure out the man currently sitting on his couch. Derek Hale was… well, he was something.

When the Sheriff came back out, Derek looked like he’d been sitting stock-still the entire time. John passed him a beer and sighed.

“So what do you need?”

“Si— John?”

“What is it called when a werewolf courts a human, Derek? Do I even want to know?”

Derek’s face turned bright red. “It’s just dating, sir.”

“And are you planning on doing that?”

Derek stared at him; silent and blank faced. John sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Are you planning on dating my son, Derek?”

He might as well have threatened to shoot the man. Derek tensed up and glanced toward the door and once more, the Sheriff wondered if he’d genuinely make a run for it. He quickly raised his hands like he was trying to calm a startled animal.

“I asked the question, Derek, I’m not going to shoot you for answering.”

“I… I don’t know, sir. Sheriff. John.”

“Are you wanting to?”

Derek glared at his beer as if it had personally offended him. But he still nodded. The Sheriff wondered for a moment how he’d gotten into this position before remembering he’d basically let Hale into his house in the first place. Technically, this was his fault.

“Just get him curly fries before you ask, Derek. Curly fries put Stiles in a state of euphoria.”

Derek’s eyes snapped up. “What?”

“Curly fries, Derek.”

“You’re giving me permission to date your son?”

“If you hurt him in any way,” the Sheriff said, pointing a finger at the man. “I will personally stock up on wolfsbane bullets and make good use of them.”

Derek’s face whitened. He nodded silently.

“You’re a good kid, Derek,” John said, dropping his hand. “I don’t expect that’ll ever be necessary.”

“No, sir.”

“Though it might be if you continue calling me sir.”

“No, John.”

The Sheriff smiled at that. This was progress, he thought. Not that he’d ever seen himself giving ex fugitive and literal werewolf Derek Hale advice on how to court his son. He wondered if Claudia would be exasperated or proud of him.

Probably both.

“So,” the Sheriff said. “Anything else?”

Derek glanced from his bottle, to the Sheriff, and then toward the door. Shaking his head, he pushed himself up and set the bottle on the coffee table. He hadn’t even touched it. “No, John. Uh… thank you.”

“Please never mention this to Stiles.”

John could’ve sworn Derek nearly smiled. He hadn’t thought that was possible (did it come with being a werewolf or was that an eyebrow thing?) but John was pretty sure he knew what he saw. Derek Hale smiling. In his house. What a trip.

This entire visit was unexpected from one point to the next. 

The Sheriff followed him to the door and Derek looked like he was going to say something else, but then he turned and quickly exited the house. John watched him all the way to his Camaro before shutting the door with a long, heavy sigh.

He would like to say first of all, he did not ask for this. 

Second of all, it was hard.

And third of all? Well, the Sheriff needed some chocolate. Maybe a few steaks. But he also thought that could have been worse; and he was never doing it again.

His time should never be spent actively participating in his son’s love life.

Never again. 

- -

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #304

“she’s got a hold on me  /  maybe she is just what they want me to be”

How many foreign friends do you have? Only one that I know of that actually immigrated into America in their life. I think. In which countries do they live? She was born in Asia, either China or Japan. What was your dream birthday party as a kid? I either wanted to go to the skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese. Have you ever come up with your own game? As a kid, definitely. Whose hand did you hold last? Probably my niece's or nephew's if they were taking me somewhere. What was the last thing you planted? Habaneros, I think. Do you have a green thumb or are you all thumbs with plants? I don't really try with plants because I'm not interested in the maintenance. What or who was the last thing you gossiped about? Does telling your therapist about another person and what they do to stress you out count? lol Any books on your night stand? Wings of Fire: The Brightest Night. Would you ever consider going vegetarian? I was briefly one, but I had to introduce meat back into my diet because I just hate too many foods needed to keep me healthy without meat. I would love love LOVE to go vegan, but I just can't. When's the last time you helped a senior citizen somehow? Probably holding open a door for someone in a wheelchair. What's the most selfless act you have done? I don't know... Maybe letting my mother use all my Christmas and birthday money (which was a lot) to take care of bills to keep us from being evicted and losing the car. She was going to pay me back, but then cancer happened. Have you ever intentionally fed a house spider? No. What makes you feel lucky? The fact I have a roof over my head, food on the table, access to water... That kind of stuff. Never take it for granted. How many Lidls are there in your town? One. Last time you went to Ikea, what did you buy? I don't believe we've ever bought anything from there? But I wouldn't really know. How do you like your favorite beverage? Really cold in a can, heeeeell yeah. What's your big family secret? We don't really have one. What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? I remember thinking I was the "gifted" artist in school until I met my acquaintance Cailin in the 5th grade, lol. She is SO talented. What is something nice going on in your life right now? My partial hospitalization program is going well. I'm getting more comfortable with talking via things like Zoom, it's a good opportunity for me to socialize with like-minded people almost every day, and I ADORE one of the teachers so much so that I want him to be my normal therapist. I have never in the entirety of my life felt less judged and more cared for from any therapist before him, and it's almost supernatural how easily this man reads people. You could twitch a certain way and he picks it up. I'm ready for him to teach more of the sessions. What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? The idea of owning one of those toy crane machines, haha. If I saw one in a store, I would like beeeeg for it. I remember I cried once when I came across one I adored, it was just too expensive, lol. I did eventually get a little one, I think. What's something that you hate, but can't live without? My meds. What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I don't really brag about anything I think I'm good at because I feel bad about it and don't wanna emit a "better than you" vibe. Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? Ahhh, a lovely "friend" nicknamed Shakes. God she hated me. If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably ride a motorcycle. I'm too scared to risk the possibility of crashing, and those wrecks are nasty. What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? There's this one video of a TV show host thinking the moon was a planet and it was just- What is the worst smell you can remember? This smell was forever branded into my memory as if it was fuckin trauma. When my late dog Teddy had a massive, infected cyst near his ~you know~ and also wore diapers because of incontinence with his age (also keep in mind he had a UTI we couldn't afford to fix, and that smells bad enough), changing the diaper he would wear overnight could, swear to God, be enough to make you puke. It literally came to a point that I personally could no longer do it. It sounds so so bad and selfish, and it probably is, but Mom had to do it before she left and came home from work; she's way less fazed by stuff like that than me. Yes, when we had the money, we got the cyst removed. What song gets better the louder it gets? Only like, every song I enjoy. The louder the better until it becomes obnoxious to others. What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? Having to pee at like an unnatural frequency? haha What's something everybody should know how to do? Cook... which I don't know how to do. What is a great movie no one knows about? I'unno. I don't really know the success level of most movies unless you see stuff about it everywhere. What type of person could the world use less of? Rapists, pedophiles, monsters like that. What makes you tingle? I have this odd reaction to rubbing my hand while someone is holding it???? idk why????? What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Oh MAN, I wish I could remember 'em all. I've seen some goodies. What's easy to learn, but hard to master? God, it's pathetic that my immediate response is related to a video game, haha. Then again it's such a common idea that it's basically a meme in the World of Warcraft community. So, playing hunters in the game. They're argued to be one of the - if not the - easiest classes in the game that requires little to no skill, while as a hunter main, I disagree with the second part firmly. I don't know about the other specializations because I don't play them, but at least in beast mastery, it takes focus and thinking ahead to master your rotation for optimal damage and just to generally be a skilled player of the class. Not to mention you need to watch your pet(s), too. What's something you've changed your opinion on? Wow, LOTS. Tons of political ideas, like my stance on gay rights, transgender folks, etc... If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? For some reason my mind immediately jumped to fresh strawberries. I'm picky with the firmness of fruit, so I won't eat them if they're older because ew. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? I mean this in the least creepy way possible, but Sara's house so we could actually hang out, Dad's house so I could see him more, and then uhhh South Africa to regularly see meerkitties. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? Oh, I dunno. I've got some for writers of other media, but I guess by "author," you mean this is for books exclusively. If you have caffeine late in the day, does it cause you to struggle with your sleep? Shit, I wouldn't even know because I essentially always have caffeine in my system. I don't believe it affects me. When you struggle to sleep, what do you do instead? Keep trying to sleep, or more common than not, I do exactly what you shouldn't do and get back on the laptop for a while. Who was the last person you spoke to for the first time? How did you come to speak to this person? My most recent therapist in the PHP. I love love love him. The therapists rotate the days they teach, and he was the last one I met. Are there any TV shows from your childhood that you still watch today? I'm not opposed to it if I actually watched television. Do you enjoy buying gifts for other people, or do you never know what to buy them? If I actually have the money to, omg yes. I honestly do think I create or buy very thoughtful gifts, and I just really enjoy reminding other people that I love and think about them. Who were you with the last time you went out for a meal? My sisters, Mom, and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for my birthday dinner. That place has come to oust Olive Garden as my favorite restaurant, haha. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? Is this a programme you watch regularly? I believe it was this amateur cooking show called Nailed It!, I think it was, with my mom when I sat in the living room with her for dinner one night. Do you have a favorite documentary subject (eg. nature, celebrities, history, crime)? Absolutely animals. Does having to wear a mask stop you from doing anything, just because you dislike them or find them uncomfortable? Do not fucking talk to me if you're anti-mask. If I set foot in public, I'm wearing a mask like a goddamn considerate human being. Do you prefer zip-up or overhead hoodies? Overhead. I really dislike the appearance of zippers on them. If you have a yard or garden, how much time do you spend out there? N/A When was the last time someone bought you flowers? What was the occasion? I think it was the first time Tyler came to my house. This was quite a few years ago. When was the last time you stayed overnight away from home? Was this with friends, family or in a hotel somewhere? What was the occasion? Hell, I'm pretty sure I haven't slept over anywhere since the last time I was visiting Sara, which was like, two years ago. What’s your favorite period to learn about in history? What got you interested in this particular era? The Renaissance; I always found it to be an attractive subject, art being in its "glory days" and all. My Art History course in college really hooked me in. What is the smallest thing you lose your temper over instantly? Homophobic bullshit. What's a job that doesn't get enough respect? As others have said before me, teachers might just top the list. The shit they gotta put up with for so little pay... What did you take for granted until you visited another country? I've never left America, so I wouldn't know. Who is your favorite scientist and why? I don't have a favorite; I don't know nearly enough about any. Do you prefer emoticons or emoji? I'm from the emoticons era, so I'm biased, haha. How did you meet your pet? Roman was the kitten of one of my sister's mother-in-law's females. They have quite a cat problem and wanted to adopt the kittens out, and Mom knew I desperately wanted a cat, so there we go. One day when we were over there, she showed me the kittens, and Roman caught my eye instantly with his beautiful blue eyes. Venus, I "met" via the Morph Market, a reptile hub website for selling, as the name implies, reptiles that are generally morphs of their species. I was clicking through the genes, keeping my price ceiling in mind, and really fell in love with champagnes, and I thought Venus in specific was just absolutely beautiful. I officially met her as a little thing mailed to me, and she was and still is just the sweetest. I wanna point out that when I chose Venus, I hadn't the slightest idea that champagnes harbored "the spider gene," as otherwise I would have avoided adopting her and feeding the market. Regardless, I love her to death and wouldn't trade her out. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo, yeah. Do you enjoy erotic stories? If so, do you read them or write them? No; they make me really uncomfortable. When writing RP, some scenes can get sexual, but I have my limits for sure and know when to stop writing and just time-skip. If you had to choose, which one would you rather have: a pet or a baby? Keep the baby away from me. Gimme a plains hognose or tarantula, please. ^Why did you choose the one you chose? I don't want kids at all but would love the mentioned animals as pets. Do you live with your parents or on your own/with a partner? I live with my mother. What's the car of your dreams? I don't have a "dream car." Have you ever witnessed something or someone die? Animals, yes. Has anyone ever told you that you snore or talk in your sleep? I don't snore, but I talk a LOT. Do you have any houseplants? No. Are you more on a laptop or a desktop computer? I only have a laptop, and I prefer them for portability's sake. If you could do absolutely anything, what would you like to do the most? Entirely leave behind my anxiety, probably. Or PTSD. Do you think your parents raised you well? Yeah. Dad didn't really take much part in "raising" us/enforcing rules and stuff, but hey, my sisters and I wound up being good people. Do you have a Facebook? Yeah. Do you know any of your neighbors? Definitely not well. We haven't lived here long at all. Does/did any of your relatives have an interesting, nowadays unusual job? I'm sure somebody does. Have you met your ideal partner yet? I think so. Have you had a serious relationship yet? If so, how many? Yeah, two. Do you enjoy books, magazines or comic books the most? Books. Are your parents old-fashioned or up-to-date about certain things? Dad is more old-fashioned I think, while Mom is pretty up-to-date. Do you or did you at some point keep a diary? I very briefly did on a few occasions. I always had a journal I wrote in during all my hospital stays. Have you ever upcycled trash into useful items? I remember I once followed this craft idea on Animal Planet where you turn a milk jug into a bird house. We never got any birds in it, though. Which color Skittle do you like best? The only right answer is red. What’s your favorite element? Of the classic four, fire. If you had your own radio show, what would it be like? YIKES, I don't want one. Don't make me talk in front of (through a radio or not) people. What has been the biggest surprise you’ve ever gotten? An "impossible" breakup over Facebook Messenger lmaoooo. Is there a holiday you can’t stand at all? There aren't any that I "can't stand," but I do hold at least some degree of dislike of ones bastardized by religion. It's disrespectful as fuck. Who is your favorite person in the whole world? My mom. Has there ever been an activity you became obsessed with? I was definitely obsessed with RPing in my early teens. Like, I ALWAYS wanted to be writing it. What has been the strangest place you ran into someone from your past? I can't think of an occurance. What is something people tend to come to you about? Anything related to English and grammar. If applicable, what's the furthest you've traveled because of a hobby? For purely a hobby, definitely not very far, partially because I can't drive or afford travelling via plane or whatever. Do you have souvenirs from other countries? If so, what and from where? N/A What do you do when someone is talking to you about something you don't care about? Pretend to be interested to avoid being rude. Do you have Photoshop installed on your computer? Yeah. Do you put lotion on after you get out of the shower? No, but I need to. Has anyone ever given you a promise ring? No. Do you have any bruises on you? Yeah, on my shin. When getting in Ash's van the other day, I hit it against the thing that helps you step up into the vehicle. Because of my muscle atrophy, I, and I am not kidding, can barely manage to absolutely yank myself up there. And mind you, her van isn't even very high up at all. My legs are just that damn weak. Any changes in appearance lately? Gaining weight is fucking lovely. Who was the last person to call you babe or baby? Probably a gal friend commenting on a selfie or something on Facebook. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Sometimes. Do you actually care about other's problems? Probably too much for my own good. Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from someone? Besides my mom, I don't think so.

[corpse--diem]

Organ’s Out Of The Bag | Morgan & Erin

Summary: Morgan interrupts Erin at work, eats her organs, and learns about the family trade.  When: Week of 5/4 Featuring: @mor-beck-more-problems​

There wasn’t a “How To Operate An Illegal Organ Trafficking Business For Dummies” book to help Erin work out the best system for organizing and storing frozen organs. Shocker. Buying a second industrial cooler would have been as expensive as it was suspicious, which made trial and error the only real option. It was tedious, and there was probably still a better way, but she’d found her groove. Hollowed, block-like shelving units had been attached to the far end of the wall. Other items were stored on top but she could lift the face of each one, almost like a locker, to fill and empty as needed. Only she knew where the latches were and only she could open it. A small feat, sure, but you had to take your wins where you could get them. Maybe she was finally getting the hang of this? That was a thought that should have sat more uncomfortably on her mind or deterred the smirk on her lips. If she had a spare moment at all, it wasn’t for that kind of introspection. 

With her music loud and her focus set, she made quick work of it. Saran Wrap, label, and onto the next. Just another Tuesday. One more load to go and she could break for dinner. A figure filled the doorway when she turned, startling her backwards while some instinctive part of her reached for the knife in her back pocket. “Jesus Christ, Morgan…” she huffed out, freezing before she pulled out the blade. “You scared the shit out of me. What—“ she narrowed her eyes, her panic doubling in that moment. “You’re not allowed down here.”

After the video incident, Morgan hadn’t expected Erin to be someone who was okay with hanging out with her newly dead and only semi-feeling self. But aside from the body horror, Erin thought she was ‘cool’. Maybe Erin lived with death in a way that kept her from feeling it. Maybe it wasn’t a tar pit for her. Maybe it didn’t even pull, but could just...sit its ass down and let her be. Erin had her life pretty together, right?

Morgan traipsed up the entrance of the Nichols’ house since Erin had said she could just come in, but there was no sign of her, or any life going on in the house. So she turned instead to the lower levels where they had passed through for the ritual. She found her bent over a table with...organs. Bags and bags of organs. Morgan stayed put, hand over her stomach, her mouth watering. At least one of those was a heart, and those were thick enough to remind her of meat sometimes. But there was the whole other question of what they were doing here. Morgan didn’t know a lot about mortuary work, but there were too many different kinds laying around near each other for it to have anything to do with her ‘clients’. And if it wasn’t that, than maybe--

Erin turned just as Morgan reached for a bag of brains and a pair of eyeballs. She smiled, bright and sheepish. “Hi…” She drew out the greeting as long as possible. “We had plans. You said I could come and show you more weird zombie things?” Her gaze slid sideways to the table. Stars, it all looked so good. “I knocked, you didn’t answer,” she went onto explain, popping one of the eyeballs in her mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “And since I already knew my way around…” She shrugged and swallowed the eyeball, popped the other one into her mouth, doing her damnedest to savor it before she stuffed the whole table into her mouth. “So, anyway, what’s with all the random dead organs on your table?”

Fuck. Erin had completely forgotten about their plans. Not that she wasn’t excited for some extreme body horror and manipulation. Between the lack of sleep, the mimes lurking around every corner, and maintaining her day and night jobs, things were slipping through the cracks. “Sorry,” she shook her head, moving to turn the music off. “I got caught up in--” she started to explain, until she was watching Morgan pop an eyeball into her mouth like she was sampling an appetizer. It wasn’t bad enough that Morgan saw the goods, she had to snack on them too. Five minutes in and she was already out a couple hundred bucks. This was off to a hell of a start. “Stop that!” She ran for the table, collecting the rest of the saran-wrapped organs in her arms. Fuck. Fuck. “I was about to put them away,” she answered, aware that it was more of a nonanswer. “They’re not hors d'oeuvres so can you just--try to refrain?” She huffed, moving to the freezer. Glanced back, unable to feel just a little uncomfortable at the thought of being alone with an apparently snacky zombie. “I thought you just were into brains, anyway?”

Morgan backed away from the table, frowning as she cradled her snacks to her chest. “This is me trying!” She whined, mouth still half full. This wasn’t a good time to wonder if whatever species this had come from actually tasted better than the rabbit eyes she normally had, but the pull in her, the wanting, was so much she closed her eyes to enjoy the last gummy chunks sliding down her throat as she finished it off. “Um, so, funny story? Brains make my world go round, but dead bodies and viscera are like...well I never did even soft drugs when I was alive, but I can’t help myself. I’ve stuck my face straight into a dead baby deer. It’s like true love...in uh, you know, gross...foodie sort of way.” She swallowed the last of the eyeball, feeling embarrassed. Then she remembered that Erin was the one with the zombie buffet on her table. “You never answered my question. What are you doing with the zombie buffet on your table? This doesn’t look all that much like Funeral Director of the Year stuff.” She opened the brain bag and started to munch on that next.

Erin couldn’t help but stare with vague fascination as she watched Morgan explain herself, chewing on a half eaten eyeball. “I’ll try to remember that next time, then,” she winced a little, watching her money go right down Morgan’s throat. Nothing that could be done about it now, anyway. Flustered a little at the question, realizing Morgan wasn’t about to let up. “Well--I was saving that one for you anyway so, please. Enjoy,” she nodded towards the human brain she was already feasting on. A little sarcastic considering she was helping herself again but more genuine than not. Fuck. This wasn’t at all how she’d anticipated this little visit to go. With a long sigh, she pulled her rubber gloves off. “It’s--complicated,” she said hurriedly, clearing her throat. Had she ever actually straight up told anyone about this? Nic, Marley--hell, even Nell just knew. No explanations had been necessary. “And I’m a damn good funeral director. This doesn’t change that.” Her fingers tapped on the silver table and she eyed her carefully. “If I tell you, this stays between us, right?” Morgan was smart enough to probably figure it out at this point, but the assurance didn’t hurt.

Morgan continued to frown, miffed that she was on the pointy end of the sarcasm stick when she had been asked to come. What was she supposed to do, stay at the door all night and go home sad? But Erin seemed frazzled beyond being interrupted. Morgan’s dig at her above-board job proved that too. Morgan was even beginning to feel bad. She tilted her head, trying to get a better read on Erin. “I’m a zombie, Erin. I know all about awkward secrets to keep.” She started to edge closer, plucking a chunk of brain matter off to chew on. And, holy shit, she had to know how long this one had been left sitting and at what temperature, because it made her taste buds melt like burgers used to--but there were more important things to deal with. Erin had some kind of organ stockpiling problem, and maybe a ‘oops my friend knows I’m into some weird, sketchy looking shit’ problem. “If it helps, it looks like you’re running some kind of under the table organ pantry. So either I’m right, and I just made your job easier for you, or I’m wrong, and you have even more reason to correct me. But...you just saw me eat eyeballs and I used to sell people shiny rocks I transmuted out of garbage. I’m really not gonna judge.”

Erin chewed on the inside of her lip as Morgan spoke. Yep. Of course she figured it out. What the fuck else was a mortician doing with a bunch of unlabeled organs saran wrapped in the embalming room? All signs pointed to shady. This was entirely her fault, which bothered her the most about this whole thing. She fucked up. Forgot their plans. Something had to give, eventually. It was bound to. Juggling businesses, murderous mimes and actively trying to not be a shitty friend was a dangerous game. But she trusted Morgan, as much as that was worth. Had to, considering how calmly she was chewing on Mr. “Mr. Reid’s dearly departed brain, after taking out his eyeballs in less than five minutes flat. “Organ harvesting and trafficking, actually,” she corrected her, taking a deep breath after she said the words out loud. Just rip the bandaid off, right? Felt wrong on her tongue for more reasons than she cared to think about. “It’s--” she shook her head, glancing down at the table again for a moment, then forced herself to stare back up at Morgan. Fingers thrumming against the table again, her nerves alight. “My dad got into it before I took the business over and I got stuck with it because he couldn’t handle it. Please believe me when I say this isn’t something I ever wanted.”

Oh. Oh, this was something serious. Was Morgan still a person who knew how to take on serious things with new people? She was feeling okay today. Sort of float-y in a way that made a distant part of her worried, but she wasn’t tired. Not like she was on other days. But this whole—thing Erin was tearsely explaining wasn’t something looked suddenly less like a dirty secret and more like a two ton brick she’d been hauling for too long. Morgan could at least understand that feeling, even if the rest of the situation confused her. “Shit,” she said. “That explains some of the vague trauma you mentioned. I can’t even imagine…” She stepped closer, more confident now that she wasn’t in trouble, “Can ask if—I mean, is it going well? Are you...going to be okay?”

Relief came with the confession like an exhale. A momentary reprieve to that tension knotting in her chest for months now. The inhale felt just as horrible as it always had. The knot settled back where it knew it belonged in Erin’s chest. Morgan wouldn’t judge. She wouldn’t rat her out. But there was something unsafe about having it out in the open like this. A little bit of control was gone and that almost felt worse than the deed itself. “Good as it can be, I guess? It was a little rocky at first but--I’m getting there.” She tossed on a smile, raising a brow at Morgan. “Don’t worry about it. Just try not to eat my merchandise? Those eyeballs you demolished set me back a couple hundred dollars,” she teased, a chuckle in her voice to hide the very real pain there. Dale was a good scapegoat for that kind of thing anyway--the big oaf was as heavy handed as they came. She leaned against the table, glancing between the brain in her hands and Morgan’s gaze. “Is… that your first human brain?”

“Oh. Oh, shit!” Morgan cried, face dropping with dismay. “I really couldn’t help it. That’s not just like, me being weird. I can probably get Deirdre to reimburse you? I don’t have to mention the eyeballs, or the brain, if you don’t want, but I uh...don’t think she’d mind it either.” It was a little too late with the brain, so Morgan took a sheepish dip back into the bag to pull off another chunk. It was halfway up to her mouth when Erin said the word human. Morgan looked down at the brain again. “Oh,” she said, voice squeaking. “So that’s why it tastes so good.” She continued to stare at the brain. From the size of it, she probably should’ve known it wasn’t just some deer. But holy shit. You’d think there’d be fanfare or at least a good shock of agony over baby’s first lite cannibalism. But it had just been a really yummy brain, no more interesting than another until she’d tasted it. “Uh...yeah. If that’s what this is...yeah.” Was it bad, that it didn’t mean anything to her? That the only thought she’d had was how yummy? Sure, deer and raccoon and cow brain were nice. But this was steak. Or cheesecake. For all that it looked the same, the taste was enough to have let her feel good about something while she’d chewed. Then another question came to her. “Not to be gross, but are these...was this…” she jiggled the bag in her hand. “...One of your clients?”

“No, no, it’s okay,” Erin finally gave a genuine laugh, shaking her head. Was that one of those zombie quirks? Like how amputated body parts turned to goo? “I actually really was saving that brain for you.” She had to admit, she was a little surprised at Morgan’s hesitation. This was a funeral home. No way she could’ve thought animal brains were more readily available than an actual human’s. Didn’t deter her, she noted, when her fingers dipped back into the bag. “Well,” she said, starting to pull off her blue scrubs, raising a brow. “My clients have some organs to spare. Waste not, want not?” She offered with a shrug. It was more difficult than she anticipated to keep her eyes off of Morgan. She looked the same, and if it wasn’t for the brain food she was gobbling down, it would’ve been impossible to see anything different about her. But she was eating a human brain. She knew what happened to some of the parts that left her basement, but this was the first time she’d witnessed it first hand. “Doesn’t bother you, does it?” Another pause as she tried not to overtly stare anymore. “You know, I swear I didn’t invite you over for this but--if that’s something you think you’d want on a regular basis, I can definitely help you out.”

Morgan looked down at the brain. She was still waiting for the horror to set in, but mostly she was worried what Remmy would say, or Deirdre. She’d only given her animal brains so far, not even an offer or a suggestion of anything else. They wouldn’t blame her for an accident, but liking it, enjoying it---Morgan saw herself split and cracked between two lenses. One monstrous, one that simply was. ‘Don’t eat the humans’ was the number one thing she heard from hunter types. It was even a question she remembered asking herself. Do they eat people? Do they hurt people? As if it made them inherently better, safer, if the answer was “right.” But here she was, some poor guy’s insides already in her stomach. And as much as she was troubled, it took effort to maintain. “B-bother?” She asked. Shrugged. “Does it bother you? You seem pretty chill with me eating in front of you, all things considered. I mean, would you really….supply that sort of thing? For me?”

There was some kind of internal struggle going on behind Morgan’s eyes. Was this weird for her too? She’d been snacking on them like Erin was going out of business. “I don’t know, maybe I should be more bothered,” she shrugged, running a hand through her hair. “But I fished them out of the guy, you know?” Maybe it was like how a butcher didn’t have any trouble selling even the most obscure parts of the cow. In this case, she was simply more familiar with the human body. “Doesn’t bother me,” she confirmed, giving her a smile to cement that. “Brains are a little more expensive, just so you know. But yeah. This is what I do. It wouldn’t be a problem at all.”

“You...did all this yourself? And the guy still looked like himself at the end? With the--” Morgan motioned to her skull. “I’m usually in a weird...zombie haze whenever I’m eating out in the wild, so things like being careful don’t really make it into the thought process. But...bones are hard. If you get it really wrong, you get a bunch of gross pointy bits in the food. Worse than eggshells in your fried rice. What do you do to get to the stuff and humpty-dumpty them back together?” But something else snagged her mind more than her curiosity, pulling her back. “You really mean it? About the not weird and the...supply? Just, you know, for sometimes? Really?” She wondered how expensive Erin was talking here.

“The brain’s usually always taken out during an autopsy, along with the rest of the organs.” Erin explained. “They all get tossed into the visceral bag, which then gets tucked into the stomach cavity. Makes my job easier because then all I have to do is take them out and pack them up.” This would make the whole process way slower and harder if she had to go in every time and dissect them herself, she knew that much. Her brows furrowed at the thought of Morgan out there in the woods, running around and crushing animal skulls. “Yeah, I mean it. Can’t have you out there chasing after squirrels or whatever all the time, right?” Wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. She shrugged. “My boss usually likes to charge a higher fee but I don’t mind cutting costs. For friends,” she smiled.

“Oh, wow. That’s...one way to do it.” Morgan realized with unsettling clarity that she had never thought of the mechanics of death before. When she had lost her parents and her friends, she had been too wrapped up in the loss and unfairness of it to remember there was something practical, even mechanical to death. Even in humans, with the rituals and the preservation that kept the flies and maggots at bay, there was something. A process detached from all that they had meant before the last breath went out. It wasn’t bad, or hurtful, it was simply...after. Morgan came out of her thought to look at Erin, steeped her whole life in this strange, thankless care. It was essential, even as it rattled and stung the rest of the world, her clients. She didn’t even have much of a chip on her shoulder about it, she just continued, and found a way to make “after” work for other people too. Well, maybe not “found,” but she was still at it. And now that the shock of discovery had worn off, she didn’t seem that ashamed about it. A rush of endearment filled her and she ran to Erin, brain still jiggling in the bag and pulled her into a crushing hug. “Thank you, Erin,” she said. “You’re a really good friend, you know that?” She lingered there a moment, trying to fix words to how...fine all of this seemed. Not normal, they wouldn’t be hiding in a basement if it was normal, but fine. She pulled away, backing up to hop on the table, taking another handful of brain. “You wouldn’t have heard from somewhere about how human brains taste, would you? I feel weirdly like...playing board games. And listening to the radio. Like there’s a hockey game on? I don’t like hockey, but if you know where to put one on--” She gave a thumbs up and took another bite of brain. “But, also, I’ve lost my foot like twice this week. If you wanted to check out weird things my bones can do still.”

Erin looked up just in time to brace herself for the shorter woman hurling herself at her. “Oh, you’re--,” she huffed out a laugh, genuinely struggling to catch her breath. For a moment it felt like she had just ran into a wall with arms. “You’re welcome,” she finished, briefly wrapping her arms around her. Morgan was a lot of things Erin was still trying to properly grasp, but she was a good one. Chaotic, but good. That much she did know. She held her hand to her chest when Morgan pulled away, laughing despite herself. “I’ve never thought to ask,” she answered honestly, leaning against the same table Morgan was perched on. “How does it taste?” When she started to prattle on more questions, things so specific to the man in the ziploc bag in her hands, she couldn’t help but stop in her tracks. “Don’t tell me you’re suddenly craving a tall, crisp IPA now too?” She asked, glancing back and forth between Morgan and the bag. His widower had carried on about the man’s favorite things to her just that morning before crying into her shoulder. “You don’t mean you’ve literally lost your foot, right?” As soon as she asked the question, she couldn’t help but realize how very wrong she probably was.

Morgan shrugged. “Rich. Like, a good medium-rare burger. Or like, cheesecake? It’s good. Rich. My mouth is literally watering eating it.” She took another bite. “Ew, IPA? No, I mean, I can’t taste anything anymore, but I came from Houston, and our beer culture is way to evolved for an IPA. Are you saying--” She eyed the brain pointedly. “I actually kinda know Mr. What’s-his-name? When I eat him?” She shrugged, a little uncomfortable. Having real, meaningful parts of people in her head wasn’t something she was sure she liked. But stars, whats-his-name tasted good. “Ooh, but actually, I did mean literally.” She kicked off her flats and wiggled her bare toes. “I don’t have anything to break them with, but if you got anything fancy in here, you can knock yourself out. Like--” She pressed them against a chair leg, more and more until they crumbled and bent over in a way toes normally shouldn’t. It was a satisfying sting of pain. She flexed them again and they righted themselves before both their eyes, only a little dislocated, really. She smiled up at Erin, kicking her legs with a little satisfaction. “I mean, when I ran into this scary eye-hands critter, I just lost the whole thing. And with the killer clams. But we’re good as new now!” She looked around the room for wherever Erin kept her music. “I do kinda mean it about hockey though.”

“Mr. Reid drank IPA’s,” Erin corrected, a slow smirk on her lips as she watched her. She didn’t have any particular thoughts about beer. Beer was beer. Some of it was good, some of it was bad, but it all got the job done in the end. She couldn’t help but stare as Morgan seemed to crush her toes, then flexed them back into shape again. “Whoa,” she said in genuine amazement. An idea sparked and she turned, digging into one of the cabinets. “Yeah, over there,” she said, pointing towards a radio across the room. She pulled out one of her biggest, thickest trocars. This wouldn’t hurt her right? Erin smiled, raising a brow. “Hey--can I try something?”

[erotiqueb]

Can you afford being healthy?

So let’s say my goal is to have optimal health, both physical and mental, what should I do? Off the top of my head I’m thinking gym, organic food, green smoothies, psychotherapy, social life, maybe supplements. All of which sound very expensive compared to staying at home watching TV and eating corndogs. So for a long time, I thought I couldn’t afford taking care of my health. But then I had to, so I got creative.

Health is an investment

The first thing to keep in mind is that taking care of your health now will save you money (and trouble) in the future. Being sick is expensive: medication, hospital bills, missing work, etc. I try to remember that every time time I want to go for McDonalds instead of.. anything else really.. to save a buck.

Time to hang out with friends

Taking care of your mental health also means having a social life and leisure. What do you need for that? Time. Why don’t you have enough time? Mostly because of work. Why do you have to work so much? Because life is so fucking expensive. So my logic is: if I need less things, and if I spend less on things I have to buy, that means more time for me. I’ll summarize this in two words: thrift stores and simplicity.

First, go for simplicity

Try to buy less stuff and when you want to buy, ask yourself if you really need it, that’s basic. To avoid feeling in a place of scarcity and lack, think of something you really do want, and make it your goal, your reward. So instead of thinking “I shouldn’t buy this, I don’t absolutely need it. That sucks, I can’t have anything nice

” You could shift that to: “If I don’t buy this dress that I probably wouldn’t wear much, it means I’m $45 closer my trip to Bali :D”. Consistently doing this keep you exited about your goal because, how often do we want to buy things we don’t really need? That’s right, you’ll have your reward in mind very often.

Simplicity in your products

I think that a good first step to take towards health is eliminate toxicity. To do that, what often makes sense is to simplify: go for foods that have the less ingredients, or that are totally unprocessed. Same goes for cosmetics. Look for products that only contain a few ingredients that you can recognize, or if you’re so inclined, you can even make them yourself, thus, saving more money. So, weather it goes on your body or in your body, a healthy and cost effective solution is to buy ingredients in bulk and start cooking.

Save on food and reduce food waste with apps

Get this: you install an app on your phone (Flashfood is one but I’m sure there are a couple others), and it shows you products that are close to expiration date that groceries near you are selling at a discounted price. I can’t stand seeing food go to waste, and my cheap ass just loves save 50%, so this concept really is pure gold for me. These apps allow me to have access to meat that I couldn’t normally afford, which allows me to pursue my quest for the best diet for my body (I used to be a vegan, I’m now on an API diet, what’s next?!). You can find vegetables, bakery, seafood, anything. I’d say I buy 80% of my groceries through these apps now. Buying in bulk and cooking? Well that is possible with the apps. Having a truck load of bell peppers will sure spark your creativity, as you have to use them before they go bad.

Freeze food

That brings us to the freezer. If you can get a second-hand freezer (I suppose some models consume less electricity, you might want to look for these), that might be the best investment you make this year. Because if you’re half as obsessed as I am about health and simplicity, there’s just not enough room in your standard freezer for all that healthy food you’ll buy at a 50% discount. See where this is going? Buy basic ingredients in bulk, cook huge batches, freeze portions. You saved time and money and you get to eat as healthy as you want to.

DIY your skin and hair products

You’re lucky there is a big trend on DIY products right now, so recipes are easy to find for pretty much everything you want to make. There are some ingredients that have multiple uses, like castille soap or baking soda for instance, so these are a good choice for a starter kit. I tried making solid shampoo and I must say it’s very satisfying to successfully wash your hair with a shampoo you made with your own two hands! And to know you’re not sending chemicals in the water, and in your scalp. And not buying another plastic bottle. And throwing it away when empty. The shampoo bar cost approximately $7 and will last for.. I dunno like ten million showers. I also make my own face serum with two ingredients: jojoba oil and tea tree. Speaking of oil (sweet almond in this case), it’s the best and cheapest makeup remover, period. I used to buy very expensive natural face care products but I was frustrated that there was no visible improvement of my skin. I wanted to test them on half my face for a couple months to demonstrate how ineffective they actually were but I never had the required discipline. If you don’t see noticeable improvement in your face after using a product for a while, stop buying that shit and just rub your face with oil. Because the one you’re buying probably contains mostly oil anyway and the rest of the fancy ingredients are probably in traces amount and completely useless. And don’t even get me started on the non-natural products. Ew.

Get rid of plastic

They say (the same “they” I always talk about when I don’t have sources) that if you store food in plastic containers of drink out of plastic bottles, plastic gets in your body and can cause health problems, hormone imbalance and whatnot. A good alternative are glass containers. The tupperware style with lids can be pricey if you buy them new, so the strategy here is: no stress, buy just a couple at a time when you find them at the salvation army and gradually eliminate the plastic ones. When I say eliminate I mean re-purpose or give to good will. As good hippies, let’s try to produce less waste! There’s also the very trendy mason jar, so practical to store food and – Pinterest shows us every day – anything you can think of.

Drink the best possible water

I’ve heard that tap water contains traces of birth control pills, antidepressants, antibiotics, etc. I don’t have the expertise to know if it’s true but it did scare me. I’m the kind of hippie that will avoid taking a small innocent ibuprofen if I can. I don’t want drugs in my body, unless it’s going to be fun and psychedelic. I certainly have a lack of scientific evidence about traces of drugs in the city’s water supply but my nose and taste buds tell me that chlorine isn’t something I should drink. There’s also fluoride in the water, that is arguably bad for you. These are the reasons I decided to stop drinking tap water. What are the alternatives? I had a Brita but it doesn’t eliminate much of the bad stuff. Plus, it’s made of plastic. The high quality water filters are just ridiculously expensive so my only option was to buy bottled water. Not small bottles, the big ones that are reused when you bring them back to the store. It felt weird to buy water when there’s plenty in the tap but, my god, does it taste better. And I’ve read it hydrates you better too. Hydration is a key component of health, that’s for sure, so if you can’t afford to buy water, still, drink a liter a day, you’ll be healthier than if you let yourself dry like a raisin. I hesitated to make that water bottle move for a bit because I thought I needed to buy a water dispenser, but it turns out I don’t need it at all. I just leave the bottle on the counter and I got used really quickly to flip that giant heavy thing. Now I can pour myself a shot glass of water without spilling a drop. No need to buy a machine. Also, it’s best to drink it at room temperature, and it’s empty within a week of two so I figure it doesn’t have time to grow bacteria, or algae or whatever happens to water when you let it sit.

Sleeping is free

We underestimate the role that sleep has to play in our health so we often neglect it, but a good sleep hygiene can make a huge difference in your energy level, I’ve experienced it. I was always tired, couldn’t get through the day without a nap, couldn’t concentrate, I was unable to get up in the morning. Then a doctor prescribed that I take melatonin every night at 6 pm for two weeks, go to bed at 10, wake up at 7 and blast a light therapy lamp in my face for half an hour every morning. I did that and guess what? It. Worked. I didn’t follow the exact hours he prescribed and I’m not sure the melatonin had a good effect on me so I only took it for a couple days. So I think what does the trick is consistently waking up at the same time each morning, regardless of what time you go to bed. Occasionally I get only four hours of sleep and usually the next day I’d be unable to function. Now that I wake up at regular hours, I can go through the day and have so much energy that I even forget I got only 4 hours of sleep. A phrase he said about staying in bed later to catch up on you sleep stuck with me: it’s too hard for the system. It had not occurred to me that it could be difficult for the body to change its sleep schedule. I thought “as long as I get 8 hours I’m fine” or even “the more sleep the better, I’ll sleep 12 hours today”. So if you happen to have sleep problems, irregular sleep pattern or fatigue, set an alarm and get some light in the morning, see what happens. Hopefully your body will adjust to the schedule and you won’t need the alarm after a week, and your mornings will be less painful. Another thing I didn’t take seriously was avoiding blue light in the evening. But it turns out it’s serious, it really does mess with your natural sleep hormones. So I installed f.lux on all my screens. It’s an app that will cut the blue light out of your screen according to the time of day. My screen is yellow right now because I’m too silly to go to bed at a normal time, I prefer to write a blog post. I used to binge watch TV on my computer very late in the night and not feel tired. I realized after installing the app that it was the blue light that was keeping me up. Now I watch an episode and start to yawn, so that’s a good thing, less TV.

Meditation is free

According to every damn article I read or podcast I listen to, meditation is one of the healthiest thing you can do. Good news: all you have to do is sit there and breathe. Now that, you can afford. No time? A minute a day is still better than nothing. If you need a little help to begin, there are tons of free apps you can install. I use Breathe and Calm, which also has some nice sleep stories.

Functional training

Exercising at home requires more discipline, at least in my experience, but if you can pull it off, it means more money in your pocket. You don’t necessarily need those machines to have an effective workout. The weight of your body will do. Remember those good old push ups? Yep. YouTube will help you find some exercises ideas for what part of your body you want to work out. Weights can be found easily at thrift stores. Elastic bands offer multiple possibilities and are not too expensive. Cardio is important too so if running outside isn’t an option, because breathing smog will annihilate any benefits of working out, for instance, maybe look for a stationary bike in the ads.

You can still party

Even if you’ve decided that for health reasons, alcohol, sugar and carbs are to avoid, you can still allow yourself to have them every once in a while. Just don’t binge, and limit the damage. For example, I drink on rare but meaningful occasions and I choose low sugar and gluten free drinks like vodka-soda or gin-soda. That’s the protecting my health part, now for the protecting my wallet. Go to the liquor store and find the best value alcohol. Not the will-make-you-go-blind kind of alcohol, because that’s not healthy. Usually a big-ass bottle of average quality vodka will be a good price to quantity ratio, and will give you an occasion to let go of what the cashier thinks of you as a person. Vodka is pretty much tasteless so that leaves you more drinks possibilities. (plus, you can DIY perfume using vodka: avoiding chemicals on your skin and saving $200, yay)! Sugar in food now. It’s always best to choose natural sugars like honey, instead or refined sugar, or use stevia. Man, stevia is the best: it tastes like sugar, but it’s not. It’ll make your food taste sweet and do zero damage. Buy in a giant bottle to save money. Hell, you could even grow your own stevia plant! Let’s go crazy! You can also pour a drop in your vodka. Now that’s starting to look like a party to me! The use of the word honey and saving money just made me think of a fine browser extension you can use for online shopping. It’s called Honey and it can notify you when a product you watch goes on sale. It can also find and apply coupon codes for you. Here’s the only referral link in this article: my link to Honey. So, where were we. Sugar. When I stopped eating sugar, I bought dark unsweetened chocolat in bulk, thinking it would taste like dark 70% chocolate. Oh, was I wrong. It tastes bitter. That’s the only thing you’ll taste in sugar free dark chocolate. But it’s cheap to buy in bulk and I can control what goes into it, so from time to time I like to melt some in a pan, add stevia and eat that with bananas.

Let’s talk! What are your secrets to stay healthy and how do you afford it?

[withabackpackandcamera]

February 17th, 2020

Day 3: Food Hunting and Sightseeing On My Last Day In Singapore

Because today was my last day in Singapore, I knew that I had to make the most of it and try as many foods and drinks as my belly could tolerate. So, instead of doing free breakfast at the hostel, I went out in search of web-recommended foods.  

For brunch, I decided that the must-try dish of the morning would be Char Kway Teow at Outram Park Fried Kway Teow Mee, one of the many stalls listed on the 2019 Michelin Bib Gourmand List of restaurants. Once I made it to the hawker center, I worked my way around the complex until I found the stall I was looking for. Luckily, no line yet. I guess it’s because char kway teow is a pretty heavy noodle dish that I wouldn’t think people would turn to so early in the morning (by this point, it was probably mid-morning for me). Anyhow, I bought their famous dish for $4 and sat at a table nearby, thoroughly enjoying the flavorful noodles for brunch while watching people line up to get their share of char kway teow for brunch. I guess it isn’t all that uncommon to get noodles this early.

Once I was done with my brunch, I explored a bit of Chinatown since I had skipped it (for the most part) the last couple of days. I stopped by the Sri Mariamman Hindu Temple, where I got my first experience with the widely-used forehead temperature gun. After this temple, I made another quick stop to check out the Buddha Tooth Relic Temple. Because I was in the vicinity of another Michelin Bib Gourmand hawker stall, I decided that I had enough room in my stomach to stomach more food. So I made a quick detour to check out J2 Crispy Curry Puff at Amoy Street Food Centre, the same complex I went to get my kaya toast yesterday. The crispy curry puff with potatoes and chicken was pretty good. A good flaky texture for the puff pastry and warm potatoes on the inside. I didn’t really taste the meat that was supposedly in there. Hm. But it was good nevertheless and worth trying out.  

After stuffing myself, I went back to the hostel to check out and store my bags for the day. I also used this opportunity to take a quick breather and plan the rest of my day. Before too long, I was up and at it again, this time taking the MRT to the Lavender stop on the East-West Line to check out the Muslim neighborhood of town in Kampong Glam.  

It took a little bit before I actually ran into anything while walking through Kampong Glam. But once I actually hit Haji Lane and Arab Road, that was when things became colorful and lively. The streets were lined with restaurants serving all types of middle eastern foods, as well as Thai and Vietnamese food. There were tons of little shops selling all sorts of colorful things, like fabrics, carpets, etc. And a cool looking mosque as well. I strolled through the shaded small streets, one by one, checking things out, until I made my way over to the Bugis area to continue my exploration. Because I needed a little bit more cash for the rest of the day’s adventures and needed some souvenirs, I wandered around the area trying to find an ATM and some souvenir shops. While looking for an ATM, I checked out the nice, expensive mall, as well as the cheap market right across the way from it. There were no good souvenir shops to be found but I did eventually find an ATM for some cash. 

By this point, I was getting hungry. So instead of taking a lunch break in Orchard as I had originally thought of doing, I took a detour and routed myself back to Chinatown for the meal of the day at Hawker Chan Soya Sauce Chicken Rice and Noodle, one of the cheapest, if not the cheapest, Michelin-starred restaurant in the world (it renewed its one Michelin star in 2019), located in Complex Market and Food Centre (this was the original location before it expanded to a location right outside of the hawker center). As I got to the stall, I was fortunate enough to find that there were very few people in line at the time I had arrived. Thank goodness. After a short wait, I ordered their signature soya sauce chicken rice for $2! SO CHEAP! And my first Michelin starred meal! And the plate was quickly in my hands right after. I took a seat at a nearby table and quickly devoured my plate of soy sauce chicken on top of white rice. It was delicious! The chicken was moist and super flavorful. The only sad parts about it: the bones and not enough chicken. But overall, a great choice and experience for lunch.

Before leaving for the Orchard area of Singapore, I dropped by another stall, 02-164, for a sugar cane drink and quickly downed it before heading to the closest MRT station. Once in Orchard, I strolled around the big shopping district, again, looking for souvenirs. I looked around and, for the most part, didn’t find much of anything worth buying. After walking through much of the area (and through some buildings and shopping centers), I went back to my hostel to grab my camera bag and tripod before heading back to the marina for sunset photos. 

I got to the marina earlier than I intended and ended up sitting around waiting for an exciting sunset to appear before my eyes and over the marina. Nope, that never happened. I took a couple shots here and there but ultimately, sunset and the evening skies were a dud and I didn’t get any photo worth showing off. Disappointing. I ended up staying for a while to see if the sky would get better or if the photo opps would improve... but nope, nothing. Also, I stayed back even longer because I wanted to make sure I didn’t miss the lights and water show in the marina if it, by any tiny chance, surprisingly occurred. Despite seeing some water streams and lights being messed with (I thought it might have been a warm up for a surprise main event), ultimately, there was no show and I ended up waiting way too long and wasting more time than I should have.

With little time left before I had to make my way to the airport for my red eye flight to Cebu, I rushed back toward my hostel with hopes of finding some food place along the way. Ultimately, I didn’t end up getting any food (I stopped by Teok Market briefly but there wasn’t anything there worth buying) but decided instead to take a quick detour to Chinatown to try out a boba place call LiHo that I had heard about and didn’t yet have a chance to try and to find some postcards to take home. So I took the MRT to Chinatown again, got off, walked quickly in one big circle and found boba (I got their signature standard boba, which I think was brown sugar milk tea, which was pretty good) at LiHo and some postcards at a nearby convenience store before boarding the train for the hostel.  

The turnaround time from the time I left the train station, walked 1km to the hostel, got my bags, drank my drink, and got back on a train to the airport was probably around 15 mins! What a rush! I barely had time to finish my boba and enjoy it! So exhausting. But once on the train, I chilled and relaxed and ended up getting to the airport a little earlier than I expected. Luckily, the check-in process was seamless and I was able to make it to the lounge, take a quick shower, eat a little bit of hot food, and even buy another postcard and keychain before making it to my gate, boarding my flight, and finding that I had an entire row of seats to myself for a relatively empty four hour flight to Cebu. Whew, what a whirlwind last few moments in Singapore! But glad I fit it all in before leaving!

5 Things I Learned Today:

1. As far as I know, there are two hawker stalls in Singapore that have earned a Michelin star either currently or in the past: Hawker Chan and Hill Street Tai Hwa Pork Noodle. 

2. Kampong Glam is the Muslim/Middle Eastern-influenced neighborhood of Singapore. There, you can find different types of shops, stores, and restaurants with Middle Eastern tastes. You have Lebanese and Malaysian foods, Persian rugs, silk shops, etc. 

3. One boba drink can cost WAY more than a Michelin-starred meal at a hawker stall in Singapore. It’s crazy how prices can be so different between items, whether it’s street food, a dessert, a novelty, etc. 

4. In Singapore, there are temperature checkpoints everywhere. Airports. Expensive housing buildings. High-end hotels. Temples. 

5. Unlike other countries I’ve visited, Singapore doesn’t seem to have as many cookie-cutter-type souvenir shops selling a lot of cookie-cutter-type souvenirs. It was really hard to find postcards and keychains in the places I went to and that’s pretty unusual when I travel.

[qobiin]

when i fill them, they’ll shine forever | ch 2

pairing: todobakudeku (bakugou x midoriya x todoroki)

genre: angst, fluff | abo au, growing up au, canon-compliant 

warnings: swearing, puberty, trans male character, gender dysphoria, blood 

word count: 4035 

summary: Katsuki being an omega from birth changes a few things. 

chapter two of when i fill them, they’ll shine forever 

Katsuki wakes up to blood spilling between his legs one morning when he is twelve.

He ends up burning the sheets and searing a hole into his carpet once he realizes what is going on.

His mom yells at him about it, but it’s half-hearted at best. Eventually, she sighs and disappears from his doorway before returning with something purple gripped tight in her hand. She gives him the pad and he looks at the stupid flowers covering it, wanting to scream. He wants to kick and yell and bite and cry.

His life is the fucking worst.

Deku catches onto his bad mood as soon as Katsuki has stepped out the front door but he says nothing as they walk to school. Katsuki would prefer it if he did though, at least it would stop him from getting irritated by feeling Deku’s eyes on him the entire fucking day.

Katsuki’s mood drops during the lunch hour when he has to change his pad and almost has a breakdown right there in the girl’s bathroom. He gets a grip on himself quickly though, absolutely refusing to cry in public. When he emerges from the bathroom - double-checking that no one saw him - and makes his way to their usual table, Deku is already there waiting for him.

His alpha still doesn’t say a word as he sits down, just puts a lunch box in front of him and starts to eat from his own. Katsuki feels like he’s going to vomit, but he pushes his rolling nausea down and brightens considerably once he catches sight of the leafy greens, pomegranate seeds and meat that Auntie Inko prepared for him. There are two rice balls as well, but compared to the six that Deku has in his lunch, it’s not a lot. Which is exactly how Katsuki likes it.

He digs his phone out of his pocket and sends a thank you text to Auntie before he begins to eat.

Deku finishes first and quickly packs up his lunch box. From there, it is almost impossible to ignore Deku’s staring.

“What?” Katsuki asks between bites of his rice ball.

“Do you wanna get ice cream with me after school?”

Katsuki blinks, taken by surprise. “No.”

Deku frowns. “But you’re not busy today, so why not?”

“Because,” Katsuki starts with, mumbling the rest of his sentence.

“Huh?”

Katsuki takes in a deep breath and makes sure his voice is steady. “Because I can’t have dairy products for the next couple of days. Or spicy food. Or caffeinated things.”

Silence greets him, allowing him to drown in nervousness, but it doesn't last for long.

“Okay. Let’s go to the store and buy some fruit instead. I bet Mom will prepare it all for us if we ask nicely,” Deku pipes up, one sole finger tapping against his chin. “If not, then it would be a great time for me to learn. I know you avoid chocolate, but let’s get some of that too. Dark chocolate and bananas sound good, don’t they?”

“I guess,” Katsuki mumbles, picking at his food. “I don’t care.”

Deku hums. “Do you need any aspirin? We could pick that up at the store too if we need to. Or I’m sure Mom wouldn’t mind giving you a few of hers. She gets really painful headaches, so she always keeps aspirin on hand.”

Katsuki sets his chopsticks down, glaring at the table. “Fine.”

“Okay, see you later! I need to go to the library and you need to finish eating or Mom will be disappointed. Bye, Kacchan!” Deku says while picking up his lunch box and scurrying away from the table.

Katsuki watches him go, glad for the time alone and the space that Deku is granting him right now. Deku always knows when Katsuki needs something and always gives it to him if he can. It’s just that Katsuki can’t help but feel guilty.

He never knows what Deku needs and if he does, then he never knows how to give it to him. He’s always left bumbling around, feeling useless and stupid. Katsuki understands that he is not a good omega in the traditional sense and that has never bothered Deku in the least, but sometimes, Katsuki wishes that he was a good, traditional omega. That he knew how to comfort his alpha and when to do it.

Maybe their roles should have been in reverse instead. Maybe-

Katsuki stops that line of thinking in its tracks. He doesn’t want to be Deku’s alpha. He wants to belong to someone, to have a place in a pack and have his mate watching his back. He wants to know without a doubt that he will be taken care of and that the same will be expected of him in return.

He doesn’t know what he would do if he was an alpha instead. Well, that's not right either. He does know what would have happened if he and Deku had been born with each other’s secondary gender. He would have fucked everything up, made things irreparable to the point that Deku would give up. Deku would be his hurt and damaged omega and it would be all Katsuki’s fault. Everything would have fallen into shambles, would have broken and never be glued back together again.

Things are better this way. At least if Katsuki goes too far, he knows that Deku will be able to rein him back in easily.

With his lunch finished, Katsuki packs up and makes his way to the library in search of his alpha.

  “Hey, do you want your gift now or in the morning?” Deku asks on Katsuki’s thirteenth birthday.

They’re having a sleepover, sleepy and warm after stuffing themselves full during Katsuki’s party earlier.

Deku had forced him to invite people from school and from the few that actually showed up, they managed to have an alright time. No one was mean or worded things in a way that would make Katsuki bristle with anger. People were nice to his alpha and they even cleared out an hour before Katsuki’s set deadline of kicking them out.

All in all, his birthday was fine. He opened his presents after everyone left and managed to convince their parents to let Deku spend the night. He had pulled out the futon his parents got him soon after he and Deku got too big to share Katsuki’s bed during sleepovers as kids and gave him his favorite pillow. They brushed their teeth side by side in front of the bathroom mirror and Deku changed in the bathroom while Katsuki changed in his room. Deku knocked and waited for a reply before he walked back in and they both climbed under the covers.

Now they are looking up at the ceiling in silence. Katsuki feels tired enough to fall asleep right now but Deku had pulled him aside in the morning and told him that he had a secret surprise for him that he would give to him after the party ended and they got a moment alone together.

“Now, before I fall asleep. We’ll forget about it in the morning,” Katsuki answers, rubbing at his eyes as he sits up in bed.

Deku gets onto his knees and crawls over to his backpack, pulling a long, flat box from it. It’s wrapped in red paper with bombs scattered across it periodically and Katsuki grins at those details before he rips into it.

Beside him, Deku snorts in amusement but doesn’t comment. Katsuki spares him a glance, still grinning and opens the box.

In it is a piece of shiny, black fabric.

“Deku, if you got me a fucking dress, I am going to decapitate you,” Katsuki growls, glaring over his shoulder at his alpha.

Deku only smiles back in reassurance. “Lift it up. Unfold it and you’ll see it’s not a dress. I would never insult you like that.”

Katsuki pulls his lips back and bares his teeth. “It better not be.”

He turns back to the box and picks up the fabric. It’s smooth and shimmery, but not in the way that he expects. When he holds it up in the moonlight, confusion swarms him. He detests dresses and skirts, but a crop top? Seriously? Just what kind of game is Deku playing here? Does he want Katsuki to kill him?

“Did you really wait until we were alone to give me a fucking crop top? Do you have a death wish, you fucking idiot?”

Deku shifts beside him, nervous and twitchy. “It’s not a crop top, Kacchan. It’s a binder.”

The binder falls from his hands and lands back in the box unceremoniously. Katsuki can barely remember to breathe as Deku goes terribly still beside him, the beginning of a mumbling storm already on the tip of his tongue. Katsuki looks at his alpha from the corner of his eye, watching as his face flushes in the dark and the moonlight falls across his hair. Deku's hands twist in his lap, the mumbling storm roaring to life within another instant of silence between them.

“If you don’t like it, I can return it and give you the money I used instead. I just thought you might like it since I overheard Auntie talking to Mom about you outgrowing another sports bra, so I started researching and found out that it’s okay to bind at any age as long as you do it safely. I started saving up then because the good ones are really expensive and I knew a cheap one wouldn’t work and would probably mess with your lungs or something even worse. This one had really great reviews and I didn’t think you would like a full tank top kind of binder, but then I had to wait because they ran out in black and I know you would have hated the other colors available. So then I started worrying that I wasn’t going to be able to get it in time for your birthday, but then two weeks ago, they re-stocked it and I bought it! It came to my house last week and Mom knows because the package got there while we were at school and she opened it to make sure it wasn’t like a bomb or something since you know how paranoid she can be. Which I don’t blame her for ‘cause sometimes villains target random people and it’s better to be safe than sorry, but yeah. She asked if it was for you and I can’t lie to her, so she knows, but she promised she wouldn’t mention it and she asked me if you were thinking about starting hormonal treatment when you’re old enough and I told her I didn’t know. I started doing research on that too and found out you can’t start those until you’re sixteen and only with parent’s permission and only if your doctor isn’t mean about it, which sucks because I don’t think doctors should have that kind of power over people who are trying to be okay with their bodies if they aren’t going to treat those people respectfully and such. I get it if it’s something that would put a person’s life in danger, but I just don’t- Ah!”

Deku only cuts off his long spiel when Katsuki turns and lunges at him. He squeaks in terror and stills as Katsuki throws his arms around him. Katsuki grips him tight, pressing his face into his alpha’s shoulder and inhaling deeply, feeling his eyes burn dangerously.

Another moment passes before Deku’s arms come down around him gently and suddenly Katsuki can’t fight the stupid tears that have been trying to escape him for the last five minutes. He knows Deku starts crying when his alpha sniffs and shifts until they end up lying on the floor, holding onto one another.

Katsuki is quiet as he cries, but Deku tightens his hold on him anyway when he starts shaking and runs a hand through his spiky hair.

“It’s okay. You’re amazing and you deserve to be happy, Kacchan. It’s okay. You can cry. You can be sad if you want to be. I know it hurts, it’s okay. I’m sorry,” Deku chants under his breath, voice cracking multiple times in between sentences.

He almost wants to tell his alpha to shut the fuck up and just let him cry, but the words, his scent, and his embrace are all comforting enough for Katsuki to allow it. Just this once.

Katsuki curls himself further into his alpha and cries himself out, hoping that if he does it now then he won’t do it again when he tries the binder on for the first time.

(He does.)

  “You can go straight home today, Kacchan. I have to stay after school for another talk with the school counselor.”

Katsuki frowns at Deku, raising one brow in silent question.

Deku shuffles awkwardly on his side of the lunch table, gaze stuck on the food that he has been picking at for the last twenty minutes instead of actually eating. “She wants me to consider other schools.”

In the sudden silence that befalls their table, Katsuki’s chopsticks snapping in half seem to echo around them. He’s so overcome with an indescribable wave of anger that he barely notices the fact that his palms are starting to smoke too.

“Kacchan, you’re gonna set off the fire alarm again,” Deku’s voice filters in through the omega’s haze of anger.

“I’m going to kill that bitch,” is Katsuki’s only answer.

Deku sighs, continuing to pick at his food now that Katsuki isn’t in danger of exploding their table (again). “Please, don’t. I already told her that it’s where you’re going and I plan to be with my mate, but she keeps insisting. She wants me to either pick more schools to apply to or apply to UA’s general course instead.”

“She can go die for all I fucking care,” Katsuki spits out. “Watch when you become the first fucking quirkless hero and at a stupid interview they ask about your childhood and you bring up that bitch’s name and this stupid, shitty school. They’ll regret the way they’re treating my alpha like he’s some weak, defenseless piece of shit!”

“I think that’s one of the nicest things you have ever said about me, Kacchan,” Deku murmurs, but there is a smile slowly blossoming on his face so Katsuki can hardly feel embarrassed about his outburst.

“Shut the fuck up, nerd. Go tell her that she can fucking suck it.”

Deku laughs, some of his normal behavior beginning to bleed through. Katsuki pats himself on the back for a job well done when Deku acts like he usually does for the rest of the lunch hour.

Once the final bell rings, Katsuki walks over to Deku’s desk and hauls them away into a secluded hallway where no one will bother them. Deku looks confused and smells nervous, but he calms considerably after Katsuki glares at him then pulls him into a tight hug.

They stand there embracing one another while subtly scenting the other, then Katsuki growls under his breath and breaks away.

“See you later, nerd! Mom’s making your favorite tonight, so you better fucking be there,” Katsuki yells over his shoulder.

Deku’s voice is light behind him. “Bye, Kacchan!”

  “Why the fuck did I have to fucking come and get it?” Katsuki mutters to himself, kicking a can angrily against the alley wall. “Fucking Deku and his stupid shitty taste in food!”

He knows he doesn’t mean it. He’s just angry his homework time is being cut into right now. All because his mom didn’t have the ingredients she needed for katsudon, Deku’s favorite, which Katsuki had angrily texted her about making tonight under the lunch table when Deku wasn't paying attention.

Whatever. As long as it makes Deku happy.

That’s his last cohesive thought before something dark and sludge-like crawls out of the shadows and engulfs him whole.

  After it is all said and done and the stupid heroes have finished ripping Deku a new one, Katsuki finds that he can barely even look at his alpha.

The heroes insist that Katsuki should be looked over by a medical professional, but he’s furious and the last thing he wants to do is take his shirt off in such a public space.

It doesn’t help matters that All Might is smiling and conversing with police and reporters alike, trying to make everything cheery as all hell. It doesn’t accomplish anything except making Katsuki even angrier than before.

Finally, when he is allowed to leave, Katsuki books it. Deku was allowed to leave first and probably decided to not wait up for him, thinking that Katsuki would actually let a paramedic check him out first. Fuck that.

In the distance, a familiar head of dark, curly hair appears and Katsuki kicks it into high gear, screaming at the top of his lungs.

“DEKU!”

He hates how his voice cracks, but there’s no helping it. There is no time either since Deku turns immediately to look at him.

“K-Kacchan! What are you doing?” Deku stutters, face turning bright red as Katsuki advances.

“You’re lucky you’re not dead, you stupid fucking nerd!” Katsuki yells, not caring about how loud he is. “But I’m still going to kill you!”

Deku takes a step back, flushing and stuttering again. “W-What but-?”

Katsuki can feel his hands beginning to smoke and if Deku’s eyes looking down then flickering back up are any indication, then his alpha knows it too, but Katsuki doesn’t give a fuck.

He’s so fucking angry. So pissed off that those heroes were so fucking useless that his quirkless alpha had to jump in to try and save him. They are the reason his alpha thought it was necessary to throw himself into danger and Katsuki was close to blowing his top back in that alley, but in front of his alpha, he can’t keep it together anymore.

See this is the thing. Katsuki isn’t angry that he had to be saved. Well, maybe a little, but it isn't the reason he wants to blow up this entire neighborhood then run back to that alley and beat the shit out of those pro heroes and one sludge villain in particular.

Katsuki is angry because his alpha threw himself into danger that Katsuki could barely handle. He has a powerful quirk, but it did absolutely fucking nothing to stop that villain earlier. Deku is quirkless. Deku is soft and gentle and incapable of not lending someone a helping hand. He’s an alpha, yes, but Deku is so, so fragile. Katsuki knows that his alpha can grow a spine when he fucking wants to and that he can throw a mean punch, especially since they started working out together. Katsuki knows everything about his alpha and that is exactly why when their eyes met, Katsuki was struck dumb with terror because he knew what was going to happen next.

He knew and he was terrified for his alpha.

“You could have gotten hurt, you idiot!” Katsuki spits out, growing angrier when his eyes start burning.

He turns his face away, letting out a deep breath and fighting back the stupid fucking tears. Deku has gone still in front of him. His panicked scent has turned towards confusion and slowly, so slowly that Katsuki can barely recognize it, a growing sense of horror. Both of them do not speak and Katsuki has never felt further apart from his alpha than at this moment.

“You were going to die,” Deku eventually says, finally breaking the stifling silence that had befallen them.

Katsuki feels his hackles rise in defiance and anger again. “You don’t know that! You don’t know shit, you stupid nerd! You had no reason to put yourself in danger like that because of me, Deku!”

Deku steps back like he has been struck, his expression and scent changing quickly. “You’re my mate, Kacchan. I will always do my best to take care of you in any way that I can. Me being quirkless doesn’t change that.”

“That has nothing to do with it! You said I could take care of you, you fucking promised, shithead!” Katsuki growls, advancing rapidly on his alpha with his palms smoking then coming to an abrupt halt as Deku flinches.

Katsuki draws back, looking at the street instead of Deku’s emerald eyes. “I am not more important than you, fucktard. There were heroes there and you didn’t have to do that. Why did you do that? I didn’t need your fucking help and you know that! So why did you run into it anyway?”

He keeps his gaze on Deku’s bright red shoes, his eyes burning fiercer than before. Katsuki does not know what he expects his alpha to say, but it isn’t what he ends up hearing at all.

“You’re my heart, Kacchan,” Deku murmurs, his voice so soft and gentle and Katsuki can’t help the fucking tears that fall down his face then. “That villain attacked me earlier and I almost died. I know firsthand that it might have killed you too. The only thing I could think to myself at the moment was, what am I supposed to do you without you?”

Katsuki feels his head snap up and meets Deku’s watery gaze with his own, suddenly frothing at the mouth angry again. He hates this. He hates this so much and he hates how it’s his alpha who always manages to bring this stupid emotional bullshit out of him when he would rather ignore it all and suffer in silence. But no, Deku has to force it out of him and make him talk about feelings otherwise Katsuki just feels guilty and shitty.

Fuck Deku honestly and fuck stupid ass feelings too!

As if Katsuki wouldn’t have done the same thing. As if Katsuki would not be terrified of losing his mate, alpha, and best friend all in one fell swoop! As if Deku is so fucking noble for throwing himself into danger when all it did was make the situation worse and scare ten years off Katsuki’s life.

“WELL, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT YOU? This is a two-way street, motherfucker, and you can’t fucking assume that I would ever want you to get fucking hurt because of me!” Katsuki all but screams, shaking and trembling as tears continue to trail down his cheeks.

Deku is much too calm when he says, “I know. I didn’t mean to imply that your feelings don’t matter, but Kacchan… You would have done the same thing.”

Katsuki doesn’t reply, not deeming that statement worthy of an answer at all because they both know it’s the truth. It is what Katsuki was thinking just mere moments before, what he refuses to speak aloud after all that has already happened today.

He is too tired for this crap. He wants to go home and pretend like the world doesn’t exist for a few hours.

Deku must read it in the slump of his shoulders or the dejected look on his face because soon he’s speaking again and giving Katsuki the escape he needs. “If you want some alone time, I can give you space, Kacchan.”

Katsuki can only make himself nod. Deku gives him a gentle and sincere smile anyway, the kind that makes Katsuki want to punch something.

“Okay… and Kacchan?”

He looks up again, letting their eyes meet. Deku looks rattled and tired, but assured too, something that Katsuki rarely ever sees from his alpha.

“I love you.”

What the fuck?

What.

The.

Fuck.

Absolutely not, Deku can fuck right off with that bullshit. Katsuki wipes his face quickly with the singed sleeve of his uniform and flees.

He runs the rest of the way home, crying again, and when he bursts through his front door, his mom is in the kitchen. His dad isn’t home yet, so he ignores her greeting and runs into his room. Locking the door, he lets his tears fall freely.

He feels so stupid and small, something he abhors with all his might. Ugh.

a/n: if you’re interested about how this is all coming together, check out my #progress-report tag (: 

thanks for reading! please remember that my requests are open 

[stories-mostly]

Starks Bug

Tony Stark x son!reader (this chapter more Rhodey x nephew!reader ;) )

Words: 2150

I'm sorry this took so long as an apology I'll post chapter 5 tommorow after that it should be once a week again :) enjoy!

Chapter 4

Today was a Rhodey and you kinda day.

Your dad had some business trip to attend to where he couldn't take you with him. So instead of being quiet and polite with a bunch of strangers, you were loud and polite with Rhodey.

You had stayed over at Rhodeys several times with Tony but never alone. So both men were anxious to see how you'd manage.

It's only been two hours since Tony had dropped you off and you had been greatly entertained by your uncle the whole time. Playing with toys and building blocks. He even told you a funny story about your dad getting his head stuck somewhere while they were in college together. There really wasn't anything funnier than that story and the pictures to go along with it in your 3 and a half year old mind.

Rhodey looked up at the clock on the wall before turning back to you.

"Let's stop playing." He said standing up. "We need to buy some groceries before we get hungry,"

You, although reluctantly, began to put your toys away. You had brought all your favourite toys with you so you wouldn't get bored while staying over. Though Rhodey would never let that happen. Within a few minutes you were dressed and strapped into the car seat in Rhodeys pretty little vehicle.

It wasn't really what you were used to. Your father had either really well maintained old cars or rather new high tech expensive cars. So sitting in a well aged small car that isnt extremely uncommon to see driving around town was different but not at all in a bad way.

Rhodey threw a big shopping bag in the back and started the car up. Pulling out of his driveway for the short trip down to the nearby supermarket.

You were more interested in the scenery you passed than talking so Rhodey put on some music and strummed along to the beat on his steering wheel. You started listening to the quieter tunes that you're used to. Your dad had a slightly different taste in music than the songs that were playing.

"So, what do you wanna eat?" Rhodey asked driving around a corner.

"I'm not hungry." You turned to him a slightly confused look on your face. Rhodey chuckled.

"I mean when you're hungry, buddy. What would you like to eat then," he clarified.

You thought for a moment. "Pizza! I want pizza,"

"What kind?" He asked pulling into the parking lot.

"The one I always eat." You pulled at your seat straps still not fully knowing how to unclasp them on your own. Rhodey reached over and opened them for you.

You jumped out the car, with a lot of effort, before he could stop you. "I can show you!"

Rhodey just nodded and followed you out.

You tried to pull out the cart yourself but it was still connected to the other one with those little seatbelt like clips. You took the coin your uncle was holding out and put it in the thing that let's the cart go from the other one. Once the cart was out you were placed in the seat and your store adventure could begin.

You kicked your legs about and looked in every direction as you were pushed through the store. As you were passing the candy isle you looked long at a bag of gummy worms. They were one of the few candies you had been allowed to get and your absolute favourite.

"Uncle Rhodey I want gummy worms." You said pointing at the colourful bag of artificial worms.

"I don't know sweetie. I don't think you asked all that nicely for them." Rhodey replied to your plea. Scratching his chin like he was deep in thought.

"Can I pweeeease have gummy worms?" You tried again drawing out the please and using your "I am a cute and innocent child which only desire in this cold cruel world is this small cheap bag of precious gummy worms"-voice.

Rhodey chuckled and handed you the bag with an "Alright alright".

You didn't go to stores a lot so everything was very fascinating. And needed to be explored and asked about.

"What's that?" You asked now pointing at a big display of raw meat.

"That's meat," Rhodey answered "We actually need some." He reached in and grabbed a big piece of meat indistinguishable from the other meats to your young eyes.

"For what?"

"Dinner tommorow."

You nodded and moved on to ask another question about another thing.

Everything went smoothly from then on out. You showed him which of the pizza's you liked the most and answered whether or not you wanted some apples. All was well until you passed a big tank of lobsters.

You let out a big gasp as you saw the both big and small animals sitting together in the bare tank.

"Look uncle Rhodey! Crabs!"

"Those are Lobsters. They're really big arent they?"

"Yes! Can I have one?" You asked without looking away from the tank. Rhodey frowned.

"Since when do you eat lobster?" Your head snapped back in Rhodeys direction at the speed of light.

"NO not for eating! It's for pets!"

"You want to pet a lobster?"

"Yes! And keep it!"

Rhodey was stunned silent for a moment.

"Y/n, you can't have a pet lobster. They're sold here for people to buy and eat them."

Not even a few seconds later after Rhodey had said those words he regretted them. Your eyes first grew big and then your lower lip started to quiver. And that was when Rhodey knew he fucked up big time.

Within a second you were crying loudly about how people can't eat the lobsters because you love them while Rhodey was desperately trying to calm you down. People were starting to stare and Rhodey could feel every single gaze on him.

He then suggested something he would have to thoroughly explain to your father later.

"Y/n, kid, listen. I need you to calm down. I promise you that none of there lobsters will be eaten okay? I'll talk to your dad about getting you one of them. But you have to behave," he explained having placed his hands on your much smaller shoulders. Without much fuss you stopped crying. It made sense to you that your dad would save the lobsters. He is a great person after all.

You were okay with that and even helped your uncle place the items on the conveyor belt and back into the cart once you were done shopping.

With a sweet smile you handed the nice cashier lady the money and she gave you a piece of her chocolate.

You thanked her and waved her goodbye as you left the store.

All the way back to Rhodeys house you were in a happy mood thinking about how you'll soon get a pet lobster if you behave. Oh and you'll behave. You'll behave so good that no one will think that you were even capable of misbehaving. As least until you had your lobster.

On the drive home Rhodey made a call to a very confused Tony Stark about the possibility of getting Stark Jr. a pet Lobster.

Later around the same time as you were helping Rhodey unpack the groceries your dad was frantically researching on how to care for a lobster and how long they lived the same with how much space they need and more. He even called a zoo and a lobster farm.

He'd organize the build of a tank for a crayfish, a big one. You won't be able to tell the difference until you were much older and did some research yourself.

But you'll never eat a lobster, or any crustacean for that matter, until your eventual demise.

The rest of the day went by without a problem. You helped your uncle with everything you could, cooking, cleaning, washing dishes and doing the bed were all completed with the clumsy help of a 3 year old.

You crawled under the covers next to Rhodey, insisting on sleeping in the same bed. During the night you kicked him several times and somehow ended up with your feet on the pillow while the rest of your body was hidden beneath the covers.

The second day of your week long vacation was not all that different than the first. You played together inside and outside, cooked, ate and then sat down to watch some DvDs before your afternoon nap. A mistake as the series Rhodey turned on hyped you up incredibly. It was the first episode of "The Incredible Adventures of Captain Magic". You had never before watched this series but your young mind was hooked in an instant.

The episode was all about how she became a super hero, introducing herself and her friends. Your mouth couldn't have hung open any wider. The second the episode was over you started jumping around in excitement. Holy heck that was too cool for your young mind to comprehend. You started fighting villains no one could see and Rhodey couldn't get you to fall asleep for another hour. He himself was incredibly tired at that point.

The next two days you wouldn't shut up about how cool and strong Captain Magic is. Rhodey didn't say anything discouraging about it. Though it was clear to him that the hero was obviously heavily leaned on Captain America. Not that you'd know who that was.

Friday, Rhodey suggested a trip to get you off your Captain Magic high.

"Where are we going?" You asked kicking your legs and clutching the tiny backpack you had taken with you.

"Its a surprise. But you'll like it I promise,"

You nodded and turned back to look out the window.

"Look look a puppy!" You excitedly pointed out a few minutes later.

As Rhodeys car pulled to a stop you looked around with squinted eyes having almost fallen asleep.

"We've arrived."

"I know this?" You mumbled a bit dissapointed. You had visited Rhodey while he was working numerous times in the past. This wasn't anything exciting.

"Yeah you do, but I bet you've never sat in a jet before!"

"What!" You screeched and jumped around happily in your seat waiting on your restraints to be opened.

Rhodey greeted a few people on your way to the hanger. Some people seemed surprised while others knew about his plans.

The hanger was empty of any people but stored several huuuuge jets. You shouted "Hello!" and "AAAAH" Into the hall to hear it echo back.

"Is this cool or what?!" Rhodey said marching towards one of the planes which had a staircase ladder thing next to it.

"SO COOL!" you screeched running around and under the planes. Rhodey called you over and threw you on his shoulder while he carried you up to the now opened jet and place you inside. It was like sitting in the driver seat of a parked car, just ten times cooler.

You asked a thousand questions about the planes and Rhodey was happy to answer all of them.

"What's that?" You said pointing at another switch over your head.

"Uhh it's," Rhodey leaned closer to get a better look at what you're pointing, "it's switches all the communication on an-"

"And that?" You said pointing at another thing not letting him finish.

This went on like that for about 10 minutes before you started your fake flight. Even getting to wear the headset which was a few numbers to big for you. Your uncle took a few pictures while you were playing which he'd later send to Tony.

You didn't get bored for a full hour, you were so enthralled with making little noises and flicking on and off switches (which all did nothing) that you didnt even notice that Rhodey got himself a cup of coffee and was talking with some strangers now instead of standing on the rolling staircase next to you.

The rest of the trip you got shown around by Rhodey and introduced to a few of his colleagues.

You tired fast and fell asleep a few minutes into the drive back. You woke up later on the couch with Rhodey cooking in the kitchen. The nice smell of something tasty that you couldn't quite place wafting through the air into your nostrils.

On your last day in Rhodeys pretty house you helped him pack some of your stuff up and just generally did stuff together. Like having a water pistol fight, playing super heroes, and watching Captain Magic and whatever else was on TV. It was a laid back Saturday which was only laid back because you didn't run around the house screeching while you played with your toys.

That evening you fell asleep on the couch next to Rhodey, sort of clinging onto his clothes while your breath evened out and the soft strokes over your little head of hair gave you a deep sense of security.

You woke up later at night while being carried by a tired looking Rhodey.

"Go back to sleep, sweetpea." He whispered as he placed you inside your car seat. You nodded slightly and  said with your voice barely above a whisper.

"Okay, love you."

"Love you too." You faintly heard before falling back asleep after the car door shut.

You woke up the next day in your fathers bed next to his snoring form. Very confused on how you got there. But very glad that he was back.

Tags: @shannonr2003 @art-estrange @nicholasbich @tater-thottie @tonystanktheirondad @gaylemonshark

[weirdlizard26]

For the ask meme? All of them.

jay,,,

give me a sec to edit this post ok

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

wine glasses are like reading glasses except you wear them while drinking wine

i’d say water bottles but only the ones that can handle heat and stuff and not poison your drink with plastic or whatever

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

i havent had a lollipop in a good while so thats my choice

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

havent tried either but boy i’d love to try just a little bit of cotton candy at leastonce

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

bro,,,,,, that was like 10 years ago, how am i supposed to remember that,,,,,,,

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i usually drink soda from plastic cups but honestly? nothing beats the experience of sipping that sweet sweet ambrosia from the bottle,,, but also i’d love to try soda in a can some day!

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

idk what half of these would look like but sportswear always wins in my book

7. earbuds or headphones?

ok i actually googled whats the difference and im more of an earbuds person! theyrejust safer i think and it makes me kinda anxious when im home listening tomusic and cant hear anything going on around me

8. movies or tv shows?

tv shows! well, unless the episodes are like 40 minutes or a full hour because its hard to focus for that long kfjsndkfs

9. favorite smell in the summer?

pavement after rain and also. grass.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

haha thats a funny joke you made there *starts crying*

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

just a couple of meat+cheese+mayo sandwiches! if its summer mom cuts tomatoes or cucumbers for us and as they start getting more and more expensive we replace them with pickles!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

sorry i couldnt choose!

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

aaaa i love fruit flavored ones!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

aaaaaaaa i dont remember if it was elementary or middle school but we were assigned this really cool ukrainian book that ive actually read before they assigned it. well, nobody here will recognize it but it was Тореадори з Васюківки by Всеволод Нестайко and it was about 2 boys who were best friends growing up in the countryside and they went on adventures and had fun and their friendship made me so happy,,, i guess i was all for cool friendship portrayal even back then! it was mostly laughs and jokes but some moments were actually serious and hit me really hard and i remember them to this day actually

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

its a myth, sitting was created as a personal attack on me

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my trusty old sneakers!! theyre all black and the sole is very soft and nice

18. ideal weather?

when the sun is out and its just warm enough to show off your new graphic tee and also very soft and nice

19. sleeping position?

i just lie on my left side like a fool

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

notebook!

21. obsession from childhood?

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!! AND DANNY PHANTOM!!!! i even made a ghost fighting costume once,,,, tho it wasnt much of a costume, it was just fingerless gloves i cut out of paper. they were extremely uncomfortable. but very effective in fighting ghosts!

22. role model?

kfjsdnfk i have a bunch! might sound weird but one of them is bdg i think??? and the other 2 are some online acquaintances whom im too afraid to interact with more often than i do

23. strange habits?

repeating silly lines i hear on tv / in anime/cartoons? and also i never touch food with my right hand unless its plums?? and there are more but. you know. bad memory.

24. favorite crystal?

all of them!!!!!

25. first song you remember hearing?

my grandma used to sing this to me over the phone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUPnqqPXQsw

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

go for a walk!

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

slep

28. five songs to describe you?

we are the people by empire of the sun

home by cavetown

strawberry blonde by mitski

smile like you mean it by the killers

afterlife by arcade fire

29. best way to bond with you?

wash your hands very thoroughly and make jokes

30. places that you find sacred?

i see nature i go crazy from how much respect i have for it

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass andtake names?

*wearing hinata cosplay* im here to play volleyball and kick your ass and as you can see ive already played today’s match

32. top five favorite vines?

road work ahead

a avocado!! thanks!!!!!

REBECCA THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK

i fell can you help me :(

that vine where ukulele sounds like human voices and people sounds like ukuleles

33. most used phrase in your phone?

idk how to check that??? sowwy

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

the stomach meds ad they keep showing on tv

35. average time you fall asleep?

3am? 4am? idk for sure

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

t-trollface…

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

havent used either (cause ive never traveled anywhere too far away) but the latter looks pretty and i feel like it would fit more stuff

38. lemonade or tea?

depends on my mood!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

dont kick me but im not sure if ive ever tried either ;w;

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

the school’s cat who hates most people actually kinda warmed up to me even tho im terrible with animals

41. last person you texted?

jay uwu

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

afabs cant have both huh

but i want both. please give me both.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

all of these sound nice but my lazy ass will always go for hoodies

44. favorite scent for soap?

aaaaaaaa im allergic to a lot of soaps but i like flower scented ones

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

i love all of them dearly but lately ive been more into superheroes i think. im not sure really sure what exactly i feel

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

something really really long

47. favorite type of cheese?

there are different types????

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

i hope im a pear

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

become a good person. thats all.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i dont remember what it was but i remember i was with my friends and we couldnt stop laughing for several minutes and ive never felt happier

51. current stresses?

UNIVERSITY FUCK OFF!!!

52. favorite font?

i like comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

they arent doing so hot tbh, my dermatitis is back again

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i dont have one!

55. favorite fairy tale?

gonna be honest chief, i dont remember too many of them ;w;

56. favorite tradition?

on new year’s we turn the lights off, light up a candle in the kitchen, laugh at president’s speech and only then starts eating

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

getting over a lost friendship, passing high school finals and uni entrance exams and coming out to my best friend

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing!! being able to learn how to do most things pretty quickly!!! and i cant think of anything else but honestly these two are quite enough for me

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

uh oh! guess what! i dont have a catchphrase and im very self-conscious about it!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

im torn between sports anime and slice of life

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

because humans dont have wings we look for other ways to fly

from haikyuu

obviously

62. seven characters you relate to?

tsukishima kei from haikyuu

mae borowski from nitw

apollo justice from ace attorney

flame princess from adventure time

donatello from tmnt

sokka from atla

kageyama shigeo from mob psycho 100

63. five songs that would play in your club?

mr brightside, bohemian rhapsody, smile like you mean it by the killers and allof haikyuu ops and eds

64. favorite website from your childhood?

if social media counts, vkontakte i guess?? i didnt really go anywhere else and it still exists and i thriving so im not sure if it should count fkjsndkjf

65. any permanent scars?

yeah, the one from my very first vaccination from when i was a few months old i think and also some traces of when i had chickenpox

66. favorite flower(s)?

idk a lot of flower names but i really like tulips

67. good luck charms?

dont have any at the moment but i’d love to get one!

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

whatever fish mom used to buy when we were kids >:(

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

bro my memory isnt good enough to remember those,,

70. left or right handed?

im a righty but i had to become a lefty for like a month when i broke my pinkie

71. least favorite pattern?

i like traditional ukrainian ornaments

72. worst subject?

history :P

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

ice cream + fries

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

idk how pain levels work but i try not to take meds unless the pain is interfering with studying

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

idk but i had a box full of my teeth for so long they turned to dust and i had to throw it away

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

RHNGRHGNRHGRNH EVERYTHING except for freshly made mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

if its green it can stay

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

have never had either of those and i hope i never will cause they sound gross!

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i dont have a license, so.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

kfjsndfks depends on the mood tbh!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies!

82. pc or console?

i WISH i had a console but this is too broke for that,, i played a couple of times tho and it feels more fun than pc!

83. writing or drawing?

please dont make me choose, ive abandoned both and its making me feel bad

84. podcasts or talk radio?

podcasts :O

84. barbie or polly pocket?

idk what polly pocket is but barbie rules!!!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

i feel like sometimes fairy tales are kinda like watered down myths so i have a right to say i like both

86. cookies or cupcakes?

my heart goes to cookies

87. your greatest fear?

finding out im faking any part of my identity

88. your greatest wish?

get through whatever’s going on right now

89. who would you put before everyone else?

mom

90. luckiest mistake?

when i recorded an undertale medley and got a few notes wrong but it actually ended up sounding better than originally

91. boxes or bags?

boxes!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

fairy lights……

93. nicknames?

never really had many? my bff calls me mr smith sometimes but thats all i can think of fkjsdnfs but also! steve used to be my nickname before i decided my life my own and i get to choose my name

94. favorite season?

spring ;w;

95. favorite app on your phone?

sudoku

 96. desktop background?

 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

my own and my mom’s

 98. favorite historical era?

eh im not very fond of the past because not every time period had soap

[allaboutfoodgwu]

Anywhey You Want It

Protein is something humans reap naturally from food. From hunter-gatherer times, until the 1950’s, people seemed to survive, grow and function just fine without additives and supplements, so what happened? In the early 1900’s, a man named Bob Hoffman was one of the first people to suggest nutrition influenced the health and strength of a “man” (24, Hall and Fair).

Bob Hoffman greatly protested the early protein powders. He believed everything humans needed for an ideal physique could be provided by a balanced diet. His focus on nutrition’s bodily effect prompted people to pursue a perfected form—a way to maximize protein consumption, for a better physical outcome.

Thus, protein powder was born. One of the first was “by Patton’s dietetic of Los Angeles and Schenectady and contained such ingredients as soy beans, deep sea kelp, and whole wheat germ” (24, Hall and Fair). This sparked the beginning of body building that Americans, today, may be more familiar with. Protein became a revolutionary way to bulk muscle, without eating massive amounts of food.

So if protein powder was born among the body building community in Los Angeles, how did it end up in the hands of the average consumer? Re-appropriation of protein supplements to target specific demographics like professional athletes, body builders, or people looking to lose weight, has driven the market in multiple directions. Protein powder was born from a culture obsessed with physical appearance. Now that protein products are becoming more ubiquitous in grocery stores, questions of who has access to such an excessive product and why are they buying it come to mind. Could protein powder be an indicator of larger cultural beauty standards?

Ulterior to the relationship between protein powder, working out and beauty standards, the expansive availability of vegan protein powders may be in response to increased popularity of veganism and vegetarianism. Agriculture and animal production are two of the largest contributors of green-house gases and climate change. In response, research has suggested Americans should reduce meat consumption to discourage animal production (Joyce, et al, 2012).

Being the meat centered culture that America is, concerns of protein deficiency are large. Protein powder then becomes a viable option to help make up any nutritional gaps created by the omission of animal products. This study cannot speak for all American’s, however, so from her on I will be talking about protein powder consumers.

Funny enough, modern vegan powders are not totally unlike the original made back in 1950, soy is still a fairly common additive. The major difference between then and now though, is that people want more than just protein, they want a full serving of vegetables, antioxidant fruits, super food blends, biotin, collagen, vitamins, probiotics—things that would not be in your average hamburger.

My point is, protein powder has become a lot more than just protein, it’s become more of a cultural product in America, and for this study D.C. It is still used by athletes and body builders, but now D.C. residents outside these categories are hoppin’ on the Whey Train, hoping these magical protein powders will transform them as well. A self-awareness of environmental impact, in hand with influences from cultural beauty and fitness paradigms, creates an imaginary necessity for protein powder.

Understanding protein powder is not vital for survival, I would like to reconfigure it as a dietary accessory. Using ethnographic data collected from GNC, Safeway, Whole Foods and CVS, I use the position of protein powder in the store, as well as the availability of natural/conventional powders to generate an idea of the kind of customer these stores are targeting.

So what is my protein powder consumer profile? It seems the person stores are marketing to is affluent, health oriented and body conscious. Quick disclaimer: I only witnessed protein powder being purchased once during my time in the field, so all of my conclusions as to who protein consumers really are, are drawn from observations of the greater environment of each store.

Out in the real world D.C. residents do purchase protein powder. The fact that specialty stores, like GNC, exist shows there is demand in D.C.; however, I think demand for vegan or ‘natural’ protein powder is growing. 

GNC has a limited selection of “healthy” powders, as the majority of their brands contain long lists of unknown (and unpronounceable) substances. The lack of business when I visited the store seems to suggest a decline in the popularity of their products, though I would also posit online markets may reflect a very different reality. These observations from GNC, combined with high prices ranging from $19.99 to $64.99, tells me protein buyers must be of higher economic status. Being located in a business area of D.C., I also suggest GNC’s protein customer is educated and health conscious (because they are buying protein powder).

Whole Foods has a growing supply of natural protein powders. The average Whole Foods customer fits the archetype of my consumer—affluent and health conscious with the added bonus of environmental awareness. Whole Foods itself has a reputation for being fairly elite, as suggested by its nickname, “Whole Paycheck.” The high prices, starting at $25.99, of natural protein powder works to limit those who have access to the additive, repositioning protein as a status symbol (and supporting my hypothesized affluency of a protein powder consumer).

Safeway tries to recreate the Whole Foods upper class ambiance by placing protein powder in the ‘natural’ aisle, which stands apart from the rest of the store because of its ‘natural’ wood flooring and organic labels. The aesthetic shift accentuates the segregation of ‘natural’ foods from the rest of the store. Protein powders can only be found in this aisle, and their selection is limited to natural and vegan brands.

Prices did start a little lower, at $16.99, however the large aisles, carts and adjacency to neighborhoods, suggested it is more of family grocery store. Therefore, these prices may still be considered high if two or more people are using the protein product.

The aesthetic separation of the natural aisle works to further emphasize protein powder as a status symbol by mimicking “whole paycheck.” Consumers of natural protein powder are physically and economically separate from the average Safeway shopper.

CVS bridges the gap between Whole Foods and Safeway as it has both natural and conventional protein powders, despite its limited selection. Once more, I would like to bring attention to the placement of the conventional powder behind a support beam. This suggests CVS prioritizes the visibility of the natural protein powders. Maybe this means they expect customers who are looking for protein powder to be looking for natural brands. The natural products are consistently more expensive, starting at $23.99, than those that are not, which start at $20.79. The customer who purchases the natural product is likely someone with the resources to do so. Yes, there are the conventional options, but it seems clear that protein powders have taken a turn for the natural and expensive.

Discussion Looking across the four stores, protein powder is clearly a dietary accessory. Where powders once served a specific purpose for body builders, protein markets have expanded their appeal by incorporating other nutritional additives. High prices limit the accessibility of protein powder, something even greater affected by the even higher prices of natural products. The concept of ‘natural’ seems to be a marketing tool used by stores (with the exception of GNC because they have a more specific weight lifting demographic). “Natural” and “organic” tend to have upper class connotations or affiliations due to price trends (and whole paycheck). Protein powder’s affiliation with body builders may appeal to consumers’ desire to improve their musculature, but I argue this association is too limited now.

The socioeconomic affiliation with “natural” pricing and superadditives advertised on protein powder labels began to appeal to a broader audience. The cosmetic origins of protein continue on today as they aid in achieving cultural ‘fit’ beauty standards. This leads me to believe my Whey Train people are of a middle to upper socioeconomic class who seem to favor plant-based proteins in the interest of improving their health and physique.  

Adele Queener

Hall, Daniel and Fair, John. (2004). The Pioneers of Protein. Iron Game History. 8(3), 23-34.

Joyce, A., Dixon, A., Comfort, J. & Hallett, J. (2012). Reducing the Environmental Impact of Dietary Choice: Perspectives from a Behavioral and Social Change Approach. Journal of Environmental and Public Health. Doi:10.1155/2012/978672.