#did no one think this might be a bad idea?

[filthygalli]

When I Met You: Chapter 3 "Iced Americano"

Fem!Reader x Neighbor! Hwang In-Ho

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Genre/Tags: Grumpy x Sunshine, Light smut, Fluff, Angst, Slow burn, Age gap (Reader is in her early 30’s, While In-Ho is in his late 40’s.) Rude In-Ho (but will eventually be soft with the reader Soon!) Literature Professor! In-Ho (Not specified what kind of literature) More Tags to come soon!

Warnings: MDNI!Masturbation, Cursing, A little cliffhanger for the pt.2 (Coming this week also), Short chapter (ik, sorry), Reader thinking that In-Ho is not just a Literature Professor, Not proof read.

Word Count: 1142

Author's Note: This chapter is quite short, I have my whole idea for the chapter 4, I'll 'tease' you guys a bit here, but I feel like it's some terrible writing? Anyways let me know what you think, and thank you so much for y'all's support! 🥹🖤

© Pictures that are used are from Pinterest.

You knocked on In-Ho's door to pick up Yu-Jin so In-Ho wouldn't bother to drop Yu-Jin at your house. You knocked patiently, hearing the doorknob twist as the door swung open, his gaze turning soft when he saw you, “Y/n? ” You smiled. “Good morning, In-Ho, I'm here to pick up Yu-Jin. So you won't take your time dropping him off at my house.” You looked up at him, scanning his reaction. Was he expecting you to come early this morning? To be honest, he got caught off guard; he thought you were some random person who wanted to ruin his morning, but it turns out it's a person who always makes his morning perfect. He paused for a moment before answering, scanning your eyes carefully, “Good morning to you too, Y/n.” He gave you a slight smile, which made you sigh in relief a little, ‘He's not in a bad mood,’ you thought, “Are you going to take him for a walk? ” He asked, leaning on the door frame, your breath hitched a little, “I—yeah—I was thinking of grabbing a coffee on the way there too…” In-Ho noticed your reaction to what he just did; he smirked a little, not too obvious for you to notice, “Hmm, I see…” You both looked at each other, “You know what…” He paused for a moment to rethink his thought, “What is it? ” You slightly tilted your head, curious about what he was going to say. “I’ll drive you and Yu-Jin to the coffee shop near the campus, We can both grab a coffee there before I go to work,” He looked at you for a moment before smiling, “It’s the least I could do.” He added, You admired his smile, the smile that you’ve never seen before, Maybe Yu-Jin sees it everytime, But you don’t, well, you do now, and his smile is one of the gorgeous smiles you’ve ever seen, “Y/n?” He said snapping you back to reality, You chuckled awkwardly as you nodded, “I’d love that.” You smiled up at him brightly, He opened the door just enough for you to get in, He leaned in a little as he said “Wait inside.” as if he’s telling you a secret that not even anyone else should hear. You went inside his home immediately greeted by Yu-Jin who lays down on his back asking for belly rubs. You chuckled in excitement as you crouched down to rub Yu-Jin’s belly. “He likes you too much,” He said looking down at you, “Hmm?” You looked up at him giving him a puppy eyes looks, ‘Fuck,’ he thought as he looks away for a moment before saying, “It’s nothing, make yourself comfortable, Y/n.” he said before going upstairs, You nodded as you picked up Yu-Jin bringing him on In-Ho’s leather chair. “Did you miss me, Yu-Jin?” You asked the cat who’s sitting on the arm of the leather chair, The cat meowed, “I missed you too–!” You chuckled, “I missed him too…” You muttered as you thought of In-Ho. You started to think of In-Ho, You thought of what’s his favorite food, Book, Movies? Does he even listen to songs? If yes, What kind and what’s his favorite songs? You thought of the things that what might Thee Hwang In-Ho like, You don’t really know him that well, You just know that he’s a literature professor, He owns a cat which is Yu-Jin, That he’s a stubborn and grumpy person, ‘Oh–he also likes black coffee’ you muttered to yourself, ‘Hmm..well he smells like one though..’ You chuckled to yourself remembering the time where you first met Yu-Jin and your second encounter with In-Ho. He smelled like a black coffee. He seems like an elegant person based on how he looks and style himself, the way his house looks so simple yet it screams ‘Old money’ type of thing–And let’s not forget his car, That Black Mercedes, God–Is he really a literature professor or a mafia? Because no one would buy such an expensive car by just teaching, ‘Maybe he has other work?’ You thought, ‘’What would it be though…?’’ You said to yourself as you chuckled to yourself for thinking such things.

In-Ho went to his room as he closed the door behind him. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. He can’t take it anymore. The way you looked at him with that pouty look of yours sends him over the edge. You’ve been inside his head for a while—how calm and angelic your voice sounds, how soft your skin, how light your touches are, how you look so innocent and dumb when you’re with him… He wants you badly. He spent so many sleepless nights thinking about you, about your every encounter with him, how he purposely does things that he would think would make you go crazy, and he’s right. He feels his cock getting hard by the thoughts of you, He can’t do this right now, Not when you’re just down stairs, “Fuck, Not now In-Ho..” he growled, His body betrayed him, he groans at the feeling of his aching cock throbbing inside his pants, “Fuck.” He muttered as he unzipped his pants and pulls out his cock, Pre-cum beaded on the tip of his cock, he spat on his palm and used it as a lube to palm his aching cock, He groans from the feeling, he started to pump his cock up and down, God he wish that you’re the one who’s doing this to him, He started to sped up his pace, “Ah- fu-” He moaned as he thinks about you, How perfect your body is, How soft your voice is, god knows how will you sound like if he fucks you on his leather chair, Back pressed against his bare chest as he whisper sweet nothings to your ears, He bets to himself that your soft lips would look good wrapped around his cock, He feels himself getting closer his hands are getting tired–He wants to cum badly, wanting to release his cum that he’s been keeping for days since he thought of you, “Fuck–Y/n–!” He bit his lip, not wanting you to hear his moans, his moans that were dedicated to you. He came as he groaned from the feeling, the feeling of releasing days of tension between him and you; he whimpered as he pumped the last drop of his cum. As cum drips from his hand, staining his black pants, he pants as he groans in annoyance. He feels disgusted by what he just did. Jerking himself by the thought of you, he just wishes that you didn’t hear him moaning your name like a broken record as he chased his high a while ago. It’ll be a long day for him, and well for you too.

Author's Note:

Happy 200 followers!!! Thank you so much for the support🥹 I made this account I think 2 years ago if I'm not mistaken—i just wanted to read fan fictions to try it, eventually, writing caught my interest because I got so inspired by other writers to write my own depending on my own imagination, and I'm glad I started writing because writing is one of my gifts nowwww! Thank you so much everyone!🥹🖤

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[mareastrorum]

Hello! I’ve been looking at your blog after Critical Role episodes for a couple of weeks now and I have to agree with you wholeheartedly about pretty much all of it. I wanted to ask you your opinion on the idea that a majority of us are calling Bells Hells the bad guys because all they’re doing is ‘wanting to dismantle the oppressive force that aims to destroy an entire established society of innocent people’. I’m having trouble understanding what oppressive force that is?

Thanks for the ask! There's two parts to this, so I'm going to address them separately.

First, there is no "oppressive force that aims to destroy an entire established society of innocent people." Like, the only group that came close to that in this campaign was the Weave Mind and the Imperium, which intended to take over Exandria in its entirety and subject the entire population to hivemind slavery--but Bell's Hells did little to oppose them. Vox Machina (backed up by an army) demolished the Imperium's main forces at the Exandrian base of the bloody bridge. The Mighty Nein killed the Weave Mind and then started mopping up their allies that remained on Ruidus. Bell's Hells did nothing to support that rebellion other than assist on a scouting/sabotage mission and then flee.

Otherwise, there is no force aiming to destroy society. Ludinus wanted Predathos out so it could eat the gods, and there was no intent about anything other than that. He did not care one way or the other about collateral damage. Predathos doesn't either, but it wants to eat, and we do not know what level of divinity is too small for it to prioritize. And let's be serious, unless a god flees and lures it away, there's no reason for Predathos not to look at a planet full of life and think, "Hmmm, it might not taste good, but I am so fucking hungry."

A good while ago, when the Hells had initially reached Vasselheim, I saw discussion of whether Vasselheim and other Exandrian forces intended to wipe out all Reilorans and other Ruidus-based species. I think Evoroa's plea and assistance made directly to the leadership of Vasselheim has already prevented that potential result. Of course, the Exandrians are working together as a collective of dozens of factions, and each of those has untold numbers of individuals working for them. It's possible some of them will insist on war anyway, but given the actions of the three campaign parties, I don't see that happening on an organized scale. Regardless, Bell's Hells aren't focusing on that right now, and nothing they could/would do with Predathos would affect that either.

The only other faction that comes close to that idea is the Betrayer Gods, but they don't care about society. They want genocide. They want to murder every single mortal in existence, and then torment their immortal souls for all eternity. I literally cannot overstate the disdain the Betrayers have for mortals. They are Exandrians' ultimate enemy. The Divine Gate is the only thing protecting mortals from the Betrayers, and it requires every god to unanimously agree to drop it. That is phenomenal protection. There's been no serious threat to it since its creation.

In particular, I want to highlight that "the gods" as a category of entity are not a united faction. The gods don't rule anything on Exandria--not even Vasselheim. That's a purely mortal project! Mortals decided to build a city dedicated to the gods, and given that it's filled with their followers, the gods have historically spent particular attention to protecting it. That makes perfect sense, and it doesn't mean the gods are in charge of it.

Obviously, there will be other factions across Exandria that could fit that bill, but Bell's Hells hasn't had to deal with them in this campaign. Like, chaotic evil factions exist, they're just not in this story right now.

Next, whether Bell's Hells are villains, bad guys, etc.

I've written up how I assess villains in my pinned post. That's my general approach to any type of story, whether it's interactive, written, oral, etc. It's a very broad overview of when is a villain an effective narrative device? I am rather harsh in my criticism of villains: if they didn't improve the story, they should not have been included at all.

We could cherrypick through the various episodes to come up with an argument that Bell's Hells are the bad guys, but my problem with them is that they aren't effective villains. A villain's primary purpose is to highlight a theme in the negative: what is the wrong thing to do in these circumstances, and why is that? The reason they aren't effective is that they don't have a motivating purpose.

Bell's Hells are a chaotic faction that consistently deviates from whatever is requested of them. They claim to be for the people, then denigrate and oppose every faction they've encountered. They claim to have changed their minds about some of the gods (the Matron and the Arch Heart in particular), then repeatedly ignore or contradict the plain statements told to them, but they still seek out the gods' instructions regardless. This carelessness or apathy makes it impossible to map a philosophy onto the PCs other than "I felt like doing it in the moment."

None of them have been able to articulate a reason that they chose this path. Maybe the players will come up with some hamfisted excuse next episode, but it's still going to be unsatisfying from a narrative viewpoint. This stream had hundreds of hours to show that and instead needs someone to say it in the last episode. It's terrible storytelling, and none of them could claim that it was impossible to see this confrontation coming. We've known it was coming since Ludinus successfully bridged Exandria and Ruidus. There was time, and it was not spent wisely.

Going beyond dialogue, there's no consistency to Bell's Hells's actions except the desire to kill Ludinus. That muddled any potential message that could be conveyed about them as villains in a story except "kill Ludinus in particular." We can't even say they oppose any existing hegemony because none has been established in Exandria. There's no racial, economic, social, religious, etc. group dominating the world. Again, as said above, the gods don't rule anything, and they're stuck behind the gate.

Any potential to build Bell's Hells into worthwhile villains was squandered. Everyone but Orym had an explicit, tailor-made opportunity to lean into their darker personality traits, and every one of them chickened out--except Ashton, who gave into his desire to be special and have power to lash out at people standing over him. Unfortunately, Ashton's attempt to absorb another shard of a primordial would have also broken the game on a D&D level, so that got reversed and reworked into a character moment that also had no lasting impact on his character arc. Ashton hasn't bothered exploring it since. That's really the core problem: every time the PCs had the option to pursue a villainous path, they ran the fuck in the opposite direction, then dithered about what to do.

Without conviction, villains are merely bullies. They're just here to be mean, stop other people from getting what they want, and jeer at others when they get their way. We saw that in this latest episode. There's nothing Bell's Hells wants. They don't even want to be involved. They're just doing it because they can't even commit to going home--because they're player characters in a D&D game, and the players didn't want to switch to new characters.

That makes for a terrible villain story. Like, once we see the final episode and all the PCs have had an opportunity to take action and speak on their own behalf, we'd be able to revisit this with more definitive statements. Unfortunately, I can't think of a single way this could go that would correct the flaws I've already listed. It's far too late to correct the characters' lack of direction to develop a coherent villain arc for any of Bell's Hells.

[sunnnypng]

NEW POST FROM @sunnnypng

damn you .. i was thinking too much and got an idea . the vibe is like her by tyler, the creator. reader is early 20's ( NONCON ) side note im writing this high > :]

banner from @/cafekitsune

thoughts of you filled up in his head. he was hard.. no fuck hard, that was an understatement he was throbbing - his cock throbbed through his pj's as he scrolled through pictures of you. mmm - you and those curves, how did he get those pictures ? nobody knows but what we do know is that he jerks off to them.

" shit, why ? " he asked himself, he felt disgusted in himself but oddly enough he couldn't stop. while you had no idea this was going on, every time you saw him around the office he would drop his head in guilt. ‘ i wonder if he doing alright .. ’ was your thought every time you saw him. you started to think that you might have done something wrong and to him you did. how he felt was all your fault — was it really ? of course not but because he had this hard-on whenever he saw you it started to become your fault.

“ hi, sir ! i have your finalized contracts ! ” your smile, your voice, and your body — his holy trinity was right in front of him “ thank you, sweet girl … could you put them away for me ? ” you smiled, walking around his desk to he locked files box. “ i can’t help but notice you’re struggling .. here i’ll help you ” he squeezed behind you to help you put it in the right container. ‘ i blame you for this .. oh gosh i can’t right now — not right now ‘ he told himself as he started to grow. “ sir ? is that — ” you were cut off by his hand over your mouth, “ i’m sorry i didn’t mean for this to happen … i’ve been having inappropriate thoughts about you — thoughts that are so bad i can’t even say them .. oh gosh the things i wanna do to you right here right now but i can’t because i dont wanna get caught but at the moment i dont care about getting caught all i care for is to see how nice your cunt feels. i went stalking and found some absolutely stunning photos of you that made me think, wow, i could do a lot of things to you — i could eat - gosh, your flesh, mm your flesh, or maybe i could sneak into your apartment late at night and fuck you in your sleep .. ”

you froze at his heavy breathing “ i know y/n i’m a vulgar man i know and im sorry but please stay right here for a bit longer ” too afraid to move you stood there as he slowly started to move his clothed cock on your ass. “ i’m a pervert , whenever you bend over to put files away i look under your skirt to see what panties you have on .. ”

his fingers slid under your skirt as you begged him to stop but your words fell on deaf ears — “ i know saying sorry won’t cut it .. oh gosh please forgive me ” his cold fingers were now playing with your cunt as he placed kisses on your neck. you felt dirty but the way his fingers brushed against your clit had you biting your lip “ let it out little one ” his voice was so soothing ‘ gosh i hate him ’.

[ms-demeanor]

Hey friend! So while I'm incredibly skeptical, I'm not strictly against alternative medicine, like you are. I saw you mention reiki, and thought you might geek out on this article like I did:

https://web.archive.org/web/20200308195914/https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/04/reiki-cant-possibly-work-so-why-does-it/606808/

It's called "Reiki Can't Possibly Work. So Why Does It?" and I highly encourage reading the whole thing. It first of all thoroughly debunks a lot of the claims reiki practitioners make but it also details all of the studies that have proven its effectiveness and provides what I find a pretty compelling explanation: that much of modern western medicine is stressful and traumatizing. Of course laying in a quiet room with the lights dimmed while a kind person sits with you and wishes for you to be well is effective. It reduces stress and all of the negative biological processes it triggers, which promotes healing.

The article mentions that for years we didn't understand the mechanism by which acetaminophen worked - we just knew it did. I knew a man who was really into "chakra therapy" in the 90s where he had a set of colored sunglasses that, supposedly, would rebalance one's out-of-whack chakras through light therapy. He found that attending to his throat chakra, yellow, helped him sleep better. Years later, formal studies found that yellow lenses filter blue light and can help regulate circadian rhythms.

When I was really little, my uncle sold magnet therapy products (which claimed to promote circulation?? I think??). I had a huge meltdown at a family reunion and no one could get me to calm down. My uncle put a blanket full of magnets on top of me, and I immediately relaxed. Imagine my surprise hearing that story for the first time as an adult who now uses a weighted blanket for stress.

I agree that people need to be really careful about these practices, about getting scammed, and especially about herbal supplements that can have dangerous interactions. I also think there's an extent to which you can analyze the risks and benefits and say, "Okay, I have no idea why this works but it does and there's no major downsides."

Hey so I get a bit heated in this response but I want you to know that I approached this ask in good faith because I know you and I know that we have a lot of the same values and interests and this touched a nerve that was not at all your fault and once I get past the direct response to the article I think I come off a little less. Um. Like the aggression there is not directed at you, it's directed at the article and at one person mentioned in the article specifically who is part of why my reaction to the article is so not good. But I promise after the last bullet point I come off as less reactive, I think. (I'm also publishing this publicly because I think it may be helpful for people to see how CAM stuff often gets away with a veneer of skepticism-that-isn't-actually-skepticism - the article claims to be skeptical but then makes a ton of assumptions and cites some truly mind-bogglingly bad sources that a lot of people won't recognize as bad if they don't have a hair trigger trained by far too much time on the bad CAM parts of the internet).

I've actually read that article a few time times, and would like to do a quick rundown on why I find it unconvincing:

She doesn't cite any decent studies on reiki; one that she does cite is just a self-reported questionnaire response from 23 people in 2002.

While we don't know the exact mechanism of action for acetaminophen, we do know that it does work - it measurably reduces fever and in double blinded RCTs produces reproduceable results in reducing certain kinds of pain. The Science Based Medicine authors cited in the article who called for an end to studies on reiki did so both because there is no plausible mechanism of action for reiki (specifically as energy work, not as 'being in a room with a patient person who listens to you') and because there is no good evidence that it works. (And they wrote a follow-up to the Atlantic article; I like SBM but it's quite sneery, as are most of their write-ups of reiki). When Kisner asks "why should this be different?" when comparing reiki and acetaminophen, the answer is: because there is not only no plausible way that reiki *could* work, there is not any good evidence we have that it works better than placebo.

"Various non-Western practices have become popular complements to conventional medicine in the past few decades, chief among them yoga, meditation, and acupuncture, all of which have been the subject of rigorous scientific studies that have established and explained their effectiveness." This one sentence needs probably twenty or so links in response, suffice it to say that western medicine has emphatically not established and explained the effectiveness of AT LEAST acupuncture and the casually credulous way Kisner accepts that acupuncture is effective (effective FOR WHAT?) throws some serious doubt on her ability to assess these kinds of things.

The title of the article is "Reiki can't possibly work, so why does it?" and that's probably the Atlantic's fault more than Jordan Kisner's fault, but she doesn't ever demonstrate that it works. She says she got a buzzy feeling after her training, she says that patients at the VA were asking for reiki as treatment for pain and sleep disorders, she says that people remembered "healing touches" from parents and loved ones and that the same mechanism might be what makes reiki 'work.' She says that reiki "has been shown by various studies that pass evidentiary muster to help patients in a variety of ways when used as a complementary practice" and the two studies that she includes that weren't just a questionnaire were 1) a non-blinded study of heart rate variability post heart attack where the reiki arm involved continuous interaction with a trained nurse and the other two arms involved resting quietly or classical music (so relaxation as a result of additional focused attention by attentive medical professionals could account for this? Why was the control for this study not having a med student sit and hold the patient's hand?) and 2) a study of patients who sought out reiki who were surveyed after treatment and noted improvement on one of twenty mental or physical markers (this study is like, GOLD for an example of a bad study; no control, self-selected participants who believe in the efficacy of the intervention, exceptionally broad criteria for a positive result - I find it really really really challenging to grant any credence to someone who confidently cited this as an example of reiki "working")

Near the end of the article she says "At the same time, this recalled the most cutting-edge, Harvard-stamped science I’d read in my research: Ted Kaptchuk’s finding that the placebo effect is a real, measurable, biological healing response to “an act of caring.” - if she read any of Ted Kaptchuk's research she didn't link to it; what she did link to was a 2018 New York Times profile of him and Kathryn Hall, researchers at Harvard's Placebo Studies and the Therapeutic Encounter program. Being any flavor of journalist and citing Ted Kaptchuk as your source for cutting-edge, institutionally-backed science is disqualifying.

I now need to do some yelling about Ted Kaptchuk.

For clarity: I have as much medical training as Kathryn Hall and Ted Kaptchuk, which is to say: None.

Hall is a microbiologist with a PhD in Public Health, so she at least a background in science. Kaptchuk is an acupuncturist with a BA in East Asian studies and a doctorate in Chinese medicine - notably NOT a medical degree; he was forced to stop calling himself a doctor and had papers retracted after enough people questioned whether the school he claimed he attended even existed and the documents he presented to claim that he was an "OMD" were conclusively translated and did not have any indication that the granted a medical degree of any kind - Science Based Medicine was involved in investigating this because they've been comprehensively anti-quack forever and Ted Kaptchuk has been a quack forever (after recieving confirmation from the government of Macau that Kaptchuk's alma mater was not a medical degree granting institution SBM STILL gave him the benefit of the doubt and had people translate his documentation for final confirmation).

He is also an author on of one of my most beloathed ever studies, which showed that sham acupuncture, placebo, and albuterol all produced the same effect on patient-reported well-being, coming to the conclusion that patient reports can be unreliable and that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma." That fucking line, that stupid goddamned line, gets cited in every piece of woo bullshit about how acupuncture or chiropractic or some scam-ass diet all work, I've run into this study while looking through at least twenty bibliographies and it is one of the biggest, reddest flags that whoever is writing the paper you're reading is full up on some bullshit. Because, see, the paper found that "placebo effects can be clinically meaningful and can rival the effects of active medication in patients with asthma" in terms of *patient-reported* markers, but the fucking study found that only albuterol produced an actual effect in lung function. Here's the sentence BEFORE the one that gets cited all the time: "Although albuterol, but not the two placebo interventions, improved FEV1 [forced expiratory volume in one second - the measure for lung function used in the study and used to diagnose asthma] in these patients with asthma, albuterol provided no incremental benefit with respect to the self-reported outcomes." It doesn't matter if the patient *feels* better if they can't actually breathe! It doesn't fucking matter - feeling better but still having poor breathing leaves you more vulnerable to dying of a fucking asthma attack! I hate this goddamned study so fucking much and it's used all the time to claim that placebo can be just as effective as medicine for making people FEEL better but, like, they're still sick even if they feel better! I HAVE HAD PEOPLE CITE THIS STUPID FUCKING STUDY TO ME AS EVIDENCE THAT I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TREATING MY FUCKING ASTHMA BECAUSE I DON'T GET ACUPUNCTURE TO TREAT MY FUCKING ASTHMA. If sham acupuncture makes you feel better when you've got the flu but doesn't lower your fever or make you less contagious, you shouldn't act like you don't have a fever or aren't contagious this study makes me INSANE.

Okay done yelling.

I think this look at placebo in the midst of her article about reiki is really interesting because it's very common for CAM practitioners to claim that it's as effective as placebo - which just means that it's not effective. This is a great explanation from The Skeptic on why placebo isn't and can't be what Kaptchuk, Hall, and the like claim. It's also interesting to me that Kisner didn't choose to link to a 2011 New Yorker profile of Kaptchuk that is somewhat less rosy about his placebo studies and includes this absolutely crushing statement: "the placebo effect doesn’t appear to work with Alzheimer’s patients. Trivers suggests that this is because most people who have Alzheimer’s disease are unable to anticipate the future and are therefore unable to prepare for it."

But to the actual point of the ask: I honestly think it's fascinating how much CAM success probably rides on "well did you listen to the patient and pay attention to what was wrong with them and sympathize with them and help them lay out plan that made them feel like they had some agency in this exceptionally frustrating situation (chronic illness, newly diagnosed issue, totally undiagnosed issue) that they're dealing with?"

I know part of why people with chronic illnesses turn to CAM is because they're ignored and dismissed by allopathic practitioners who are largely looking for horses, not zebras - this is one of the reasons that I'm really big on reminding people that (at least in the US) DOs are fully licensed physicians who use a holistic and patient-centered approach so if you are someone with a chronic illness who has had trouble getting diagnosed or had trouble getting doctors to believe you, swapping your MD for a DO as a primary care physician might be really, really helpful to you.

But the flip side of that is that is that I worry deeply about the question of where harm starts; the example with your uncle is really great because you do have a solid instance of something working but for totally the wrong reason (pressure being the mechanism that actually helped, versus magnets being the reason given by the person who did the treatment). Some of this stuff has very little likelihood of causing direct harm, but has the distinct possibility of having indirect harms, which people in the anti-CAM space generally divide into two categories, treatment delay and unnecessary costs (opportunity costs, monetary costs, wasted effort, etc.)

I'm going to step outside of your specific example and look at magnet therapy generally, which really is a spectacular thing to focus on because it honestly doesn't have any direct harms; nobody is allergic to magnets, the kinds of magnets used aren't strong enough to interfere with medical devices, it's even safer than the whole "well herbalism is sometimes just a cup of tea" thing because there are "safe" teas that can do real harm to large populations! But simply being around magnets is not going to hurt anyone (unless they're swallowed; nobody swallow magnets please).

One of the things that I think goes under-discussed when talking about placebo and CAM is that the people trying the alternative solutions desperately WANT the alternative medicine to work (I suspect that this is why the self-selected study of reiki patients has such a significant finding). They are pulling for it; they may be looking at it as a last resort, or they may be hoping that it will work to avoid a treatment that is more frightening, expensive, or inaccessible. I think this actually contributes a lot to the delay of care that we see with CAM.

The absolute worst case harm I can imagine from magnetic therapy is delaying treatment. Let's suppose we've got a diabetic patient with gradually increasing peripheral neuropathy; they have reacted poorly to gabapentin in the past and are looking for something more natural, and they hear from their chiropractor that magnet therapy can be used to treat neuropathy. They buy some compression socks with "magnetic and earthing properties" and sleep in the socks. Whether through the compression controlling some edema or through the simple desire for the socks to work, they feel some relief from the nerve pain they were experiencing and decide that this is a success. The socks work! They continue wearing the socks with occasional pain, but less than before. However, because they are focused on the lack of pain, they don't notice that it's accompanied by increasing numbness. The numbness significantly increases their risk of injury to their feet, which significantly increases their risk of amputation.

It probably sounds like catastrophizing to say "using magnets could lead to amputation" but honestly I don't think it's that far out of the realm of possibility (every time I post on this topic I get flooded with the saddest stories in the world about people whose loved ones died because of delayed treatment for cancer or heart disease).

The second category of harm is cost, which is honestly pretty minimal with magnet therapy, as long as you aren't spending $1049 on a magnetic mat

or paying a chiropractor to give you magnetic treatments. For some other medically harmless treatments like reiki, cost is the thing that I worry about - while I was looking up information related to the article I found that people are charging anywhere from $60 to $225 a session, and selling multi-session packages for thousands of dollars - and if someone thinks that something works, even if it only works by being in a soothing space where someone cares about you - they'll pay for it.

I'm aware that all of this is also extra complicated because of the cost and lack of access to allopathic medicine - a chiropractor broke my spine because I could pay her $60 per appointment but I couldn't pay $125 to see an MD when I didn't have insurance. People who are sick are going to look for treatment; people who have been denied treatment or dismissed by doctors are going to look for alternative treatments.

But man, I really wish I'd spent that sixty bucks on half of a doctor's appointment because the chiropractor didn't know about the benign tumor that I had that weakened the structure of that particular bone when she did her adjustment; it also didn't make the pain go away, it made a different pain start and get worse because it turns out I was having debilitating muscle spasms that then had a bone injury added in on top.

(Chiropractic, for the record, goes with chelation therapy and many many many many cases of herbalism where it's NOT just cost or delay; people claim these treatments are harmless and they are not. They can do tremendous harm).

But yeah I'm not going to deny at all that all of this would be a hell of a lot better if people (especially marginalized people) didn't have to jump through hoops to prove to a doctor that something is wrong with them, and didn't have to do so in an appointment that attempts to cram whole person care down into fifteen minutes, and didn't have the possibility of bankrupting you. Interacting with allopathic medicine is a nightmare and I totally understand why people want to look outside of it for treatment.

I've just heard too many horror stories and seen too much predatory CAM to cut much of it any slack.

At the end of the SBM response to the Atlantic article, the author (I can't remember if it's Gorski or Novella) makes the point that reiki is a spiritual practice, and that we've known for a long time that spiritual practices can improve a person's well-being in a number of ways; they can reduce anxiety, they can provide community, they can give people a space to feel and express emotions that they certainly aren't going to be able to process in a doctor's office. Spiritual practices can be wonderful, and we know there are a lot of people who they can help. But they aren't medicine, and attempting to replace medicine with them (which I don't think that most reiki practitioners are trying to do, to be fair, but which Ted Kaptchuk DEFINITELY is in trying to 'harness the power of placebo') is a disservice to people who need an inhaler instead of acupuncture.

Also, and I know this was not your point but I have to bring it up because people ask about it whenever discussions of placebo come up:

The placebo effect is not treatment. The placebo effect, whether achieved through deception or when someone says loud and clear "this is a sugar pill" does not improve an illness, but it may improve how a patient *feels* about an illness. In some cases, this may as well be the same thing - if you're dealing with muscle pain because you're stressed and no matter what you do it doesn't go away because your shoulders are always up around your ears and you're grinding your teeth and you're sleeping poorly, then literally just talking to someone who is in an office and says "this is a sugar pill, go ahead and take it" may make your muscle pain feel better, but it isn't going to reduce your stress and it isn't going to last, and if your muscle pain is because you're feeling angina as a result of a partially blocked artery then it SURE AS FUCK is not going to make you better and may mask symptoms that were a warning sign of a much more serious problem. People who are sick deserve actual treatment, and placebo is not treatment, which is part of why Ted Kaptchuk makes me want to tear my hair out.

[doyouknowthisanime]

Last Orders

A whole year.

I've been running this blog for a whole year.

I created this blog on the 24th of January, 2024. The first poll here was about Death Note. Since then, this blog has gained over three thousand followers, and I've made polls for well over a thousand anime. I think that's a decent run.

However, I've started to get tired of running this blog. And I think that the people submitting anime are starting to run out of ideas. So I think it's time to start winding down the blog.

Here's what I'm going to do. I'll leave the inbox open for one more week. One more week for everyone to submit any more anime they may be curious about. And during this one week, the rule against submitting anime with new seasons announced but not released is out the window. Dungeon Meshi, Black Butler, Natsume Yuujinchou, whatever. Any ongoing anime you might want to see on this blog, you can submit now.

After that, I'll close the inbox, probably for good. And then I'll go through all the last submissions, and once those are done, the blog will be over. I might revive the blog at some point, but it won't be for a while. To everyone who submitted even one anime over this last year, I offer my thanks. Hopefully, someone saw something they thought looked cool on here and decided to watch it. If you did, I'd like to hear about it!

I'm bad at writing conclusions, so I'll just say bye for now.

[mermaids-whispers-blog]

How would it be losing your virginity to the straw hat men? (NSFW)

(Minors do not interact)

Hey everyone! I decided to try making some NSFW/smut headcanons (I still don't know the difference between the two). This is my first time doing it and probably the last.

I also made one for Brook, but it ended up being too long to include with these (and I wasn’t sure if it would be weird that I made one with him), so I decided not to put it here. If you want me to post it, let me know in the comments!

I just want to remind you that I’m not a native English speaker, so there might be some spelling mistakes or words/names that I use incorrectly. I hope you like them!

Summary:

You and your crew mate are alone for the first time on the Sunny Go while the other Straw Hats have gone to town to buy something you all needed. You both take this opportunity to have a day of pleasure. However, this will be your first time having sex. How will each of them deal with this situation?

Character Index

Luffy; Zoro; Usopp; Sanji; Franky;

CW

Afab reader; smut; Kissing; masturbation; mutual masturbation; oral sex;

Luffy

It would be his first time too, which makes it exciting for both of you.

You have to tell him to start slowly and carefully so as not to hurt you, because he didn't even know he could hurt you.

He gets a little scared and thinks about whether he really wants to have sex with you. But you reassure him and tell him that you really want to do it with him.

He's happy with what you said, he gains courage and you both start the act.

He quickly takes off his clothes and watches you do the same. He is amazed at your body as you take off your bra and then your panties.

He moves over your chest, caressing the fat of your breasts and then your nipples. When he is done playing with them he moves down, spreads your legs, and finds your private part.

He watches for a moment and then starts caressing your clit, but soon he has a better idea: he puts his head between your legs and starts sucking you as if he were starving, licking the juices from your vagina, and making noises that make you feel embarrassed.

He makes you cum with his mouth. You moan as he watches you, happy and proud to have made you satisfied.

You sit on the bed and return the favor. First you put his member up and start sucking his testicles. He puts his hands in your hair and grabs your head. Then you lick from his balls to the tip of his penis and try to put it all in your mouth, but you end up choking and quickly pull it out.

You feel embarrassed by the sound you made, but he bends down and kisses your mouth. He looks back at you and you gain confidence and start sucking his dick again. It is big and for a moment you can't even breathe.

Fluids begin to drip from his cock into your mouth, which mixes with your saliva, and from your mouth onto the floor.

He grabs your head with both hands and starts to shove his penis inside your mouth. He goes deeper and deeper, which almost makes you vomit. He does it faster and faster until you feel his cum dripping down your throat.

He cums a lot, let his penis stay in your mouth for a few more seconds, and then slides it out of your mouth. He lies down, panting and you lie down next to him.

"So this is it?" – You think, still unsatisfied. Not that it was bad, you came and so did he, but something was missing. What you really wanted was him inside you. He notices your thoughtful state and decides to ask you what you were thinking. You decide to tell him the truth and he smiles.

He climbs on top of you and starts kissing your mouth, still with traces of his semen on it, and you both kiss until you are breathless. When you pull away from each other, saliva connects your mouths.

You can already feel his member getting harder, so you decide to pull him to lie down on the bed again and start giving hickeys on his neck, then you move on to his nipples and start directing your kisses to his belly. When you reach his member, he is ready to fuck you.

He puts the head of his penis at your entrance. He applies force and slowly enters you. When he's inside you, he can't hold back and slowly starts rocking his hips against you.

He feels the need to grab you all the time, whether it's your waist, your ass, your breasts or even hug you while he eats you out.

When he starts to get closer to cum he starts to get more and more breathless. He cums suddenly, to your surprise and his. He lies down next to you, this time more tired than before.

"Shishishi, that was really good! We have to do it again." – he puts his arms around you and kisses your face.

Zoro

Since Zoro knows it's your first time, he tries to make it special, even if it's something simple. No, he didn't put rose petals on the bed, he just wanted to make sure he spoils you and makes you comfortable and ready for him. He starts by kissing you, but it's a little clumsy since he has almost no experience.

He starts by taking off your shirt and pants, watches you for a moment and smiles. You were beautiful like that. He couldn't believe that you trusted him so much that you would let him take your virginity.

After taking off your bra he sucks on your nipples while massaging your clitoris. The fabric of your panties rubs against it and you moan with pleasure.

Then he takes off your panties that were already soaked in your juices. When he sees that you're ready, he looks at you with a serious expression and asks if this is really what you want to do.

When you say yes, he starts the act itself.

He positions his cock with his right hand at the entrance of your vagina. He looks at you as he slowly inserts his penis into you, while trying to unravel your thoughts.

When he enters you completely, he immediately asks if you're okay. you tell him it hurts and he gets restless and asks if you want him to stop. You have to tell him no and reassure him that you really want to do this with him. If you kiss him at that moment, he'll be even more in love with you.

He starts slowly to avoid hurting you as much as possible, and he kisses you very tenderly. He makes repetitive movements with his hips, thrusting his cock in and out of your vagina while moaning and whispering.

You start to caress your clit and feel the pleasure taking over your body. When he starts to get ready do cum, he gets on top of you, almost crushing you with his weight, and starts to make faster and more abrupt movements. You put your hands on his back and start to dig your nails into his flesh. He starts to whisper your name repeatedly in your ear.

He cums with is dick completely inside of you, but he doesn't pull his member out of you right away. He leaves it there for a little longer and looks at you, caresses your cheek and kisses you.

Then he pulls away from you and asks you if you’ve cum. When you say no, he gets between your legs and starts sucking your clit. You were already sensitive to his touch, so your sighs turned into moans and your moans turned into screams. You cum. You try to close your legs but Zoro’s face prevents you from doing so. You trembled with pleasure as your hand grabbed his hair and squeezed it against your entrance.

When you let him go, he pulls away and you see that the area around his mouth and chin is completely wet with your juices. He lies down next to you and wipes his mouth with his arm. He has a smile on his face.

He pulls you into a hug. After resting in bed for a while, he starts overthinking a little.

"Did you like it?" You have to reassure him that you liked it and that you wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else but him.

"You were very good..." he says as he kisses you affectionately.

Usopp

He is extremely nervous. Besides being his first time, it was also yours, which meant it could hurt you, and he didn't want to hurt you. Plus, he's afraid he won't be good enough. What if he can't make you cum? You had to reassure him that you wanted to do this with him and no one else, that you were ready for him.

You're the one who has to make the first move. You start by kissing him as you both lie down on the bed.

When you are both lying down, you start to caress his penis through his pants. As you touch him, you feel that it is already hard. He whispers your name and you hear the pleasure in his voice.

You start to take off his pants and underwear. He looks at you, not knowing what to do, but he soon takes off his shirt. When you make his cock erect, you look at him and smile, but he is insecure. He thinks you are maybe laughing at him. Realizing that he was getting insecure, you decide to kiss the tip of his dick.

He is surprised, he wasn't expecting you to do that. And then you start to masturbate him. You wrap your hand around his penis and start making repetitive movements. His hips move on their own, pleasure takes over his body and when he is about to cum, he takes your shoulders and lays you on your back on the bed. He's now on top of you, naked, with his erect member exposed.

"I-It's not fair that I'm all naked and you're not yet..."– He tries to sound confident in his speech, but he fails.

You smile at him and tell him that he's the one that has to undress you. He blushes but nods. He starts by taking off your shirt, but the shirt gets stuck on your head and you both laugh about it. Then he looks at your chest with your bra on and swallows hard.

"Wow," – he says, as he lowers his head to kiss you on the mouth. – "You're beautiful..." – He pulls away from you and gets a little embarrassed to unbutton your pants. You grab his hands and guide them to your pants.

He takes them off and stares at your underwear. His penis twitches. He moves close to your entrance. Your underwear was already soaked. He feels proud of himself for knowing that you're like this because of him and gets even more excited.

He then takes a deep breath and takes off your underwear. You spread your legs and expose your intimate part so he can see better. Your hips are already moving on their own, you were dying to have him inside you. Seeing you rocking your body, he asks if you're really ready, if you really think this it's a good idea.

You pull his head down with one hand and kiss him, and with the other you pull his penis close to your entrance.

Getting the hint, he looks at you, holds his member with his hand, positions it and slips it it inside os you, slowly and steady. You both moan, and he lets his penis stay inside you until you say he can move.

When you give him permission, he starts to move against you. You notice that he tries not to touch you and that bothers you, so you move one of his hands to your ass and the other to your chest. He almost came right there.

You continued to venture out for a while, he gained more confidence and began to massage your clitoris.

When you both start to reach your limit, you both look at each other, he kisses you passionately and, almost at the same time, you both cum.

He takes his penis out of you and lies down next to you, while you both sigh deeply, you two are very tired.

He looks at you with so much love in his eyes and, let's be honest, with tears in his eyes. He can't believe he found someone as wonderful as you, who trusted him with her body.

He kisses your cheek and hugs you.

"I love you so much, you know that?"

Sanji

You enter the room and are amazed at what you see. Rose petals made a path towards the bed, candles lit the room and there was relaxing music in the background. You hug Sanji and he hugs you back.

Then you look at him and start kissing him passionately, guiding him towards the bed. Already lying down, amidst the kisses that devoured you, you start to get excited. He puts one hand on your waist and another on your face, but suddenly, perhaps because he feels your body moving indecently, he stops and looks at you with a serious look.

"Did something happened?" – You ask, thinking you have done something that upset him.

"Are you sure you want to do this? Are you really sure? I would wait for you until the end of times, you know that, don't you? So don't feel press-" – You put your finger in front of his mouth, stopping him from talking any further.

You tell him you're sure you want to have sex with him. He smiles and hugs you, promising an unforgettable night. He takes off your shirt with relative ease, and stops kissing you for a few seconds so he can remove the shirt from your body.

Then he looked at you and saw your breasts hidden by your bra. He almost starts to bleed from his nose.

"You're... You're so Gorgeous!" - He says, as he starts to undo your pants and take them off. After he taked them off and your bra too, he puts one leg between yours and starts sucking on your nipple while playing with the other.

You start to get hotter and hotter, and your head feels light. Your hips started moving on their own again, but this time you had Sanji's leg resting on your lady parts. You rub your clit against his leg, bouncing on him fast.

He turns his attention to your lips and kisses them wildly. Your tongues intertwine with each other and he sucks it. But when you're almost at your climax, he removes his leg, with his pants already wet, with a smile on his face.

He spreads your legs and takes a closer look at your panties. They were soaked. Sanji lightly touches your clit, but just when you thought he was going to continue, he stops. You look at him, a little angry, and he laughs at your reaction. He takes off your panties and, again, almost has a thrill seeing your vagina without being covered.

He grabs your legs and quickly lifts them towards his face. He buries his mouth at your entrance and begins to suck your clitoris. You were almost reaching your climax, so it was only a matter of time before you came.

He lowers the lower part of your body and presses it against the sheets, and you can see the mischievous smile on his face and his flushed cheeks.

You sit down and go towards him. You start kissing him and take off his shirt and pants, leaving him in just his boxers. You start to massage his already hard penis with your hand and he sighs with his lips still on yours.

Then you stop kissing him and take off his underwear, leaving him naked. You grab his dick and start making repetitive movements, up and down. He puts his hand on top of your hand and corrects you.

"You're doing a great job, but do it like this..."- With your hand on his dick, you start to massage him as he taught you.

You couldn't stop looking at his dick, and you started wondering how would it taste like.

He notices that you're thinking and asks if you want him to stop. You say no, and you tell him what you were thinking. He smiles when he hears your answer.

"Do you want to try it?" – He responds excitedly. You say yes and you put your head down. You take a deep breath and slowly put your mouth around his cock. You tried to stay like that, but you had to take it out of your mouth right away.

You gag and you felt embarrassed. He notices and starts caressing your cheeks. You look at him and Sanji smiles at you affectionately. You put it in your mouth again, starting to suck it slowly. He says to use your tongue and lips more.

You do this and start to speed up the rite. He starts moaning a lot, and saying how good you are. You stop, much to his displeasure, and say you're ready.

You lie on your back and he gets on top of you. He starts to sweat nervously. Even though he has done this before, it was your first time. He didn't want to ruin your experience or even hurt you, so he started to get worried.

You pull his face close to yours and give him a small kiss of encouragement. He dips his face into your neck, positions his penis at the entrance to your vagina with his hand and presses it inside you. Slowly, he got closer and closer to you until his dick was completely buried in your vagina. It hurts a little and is uncomfortable.

He sees your expression and asks if everything is okay. You say yes, but ask him not to move yet. He listens to your request and only starts moving when you tell him to. Still slowly, he enters and exits your vagina, repeats this movement, and you hear him moaning like you've never heard him before.

Your wet pussy filled with his dick made inappropriate sounds. He puts his finger on top of your clit and starts stroking it, while slowly fucking you. When he saw you were getting closer to cumming he started to be a little faster in his movements.

You put your legs around him and ride his cock until you reach your climax. You tremble with pleasure and he seems happy to see you like this. When you stop, he asks if you want him to continue penetrating you or if you prefer him to do it on another way, since he was also almost ready to cun.

You give him permission and he continues to fuck your vagina. About a minute later, he cums.

He takes it out and puts his dick back inside you while moaning. You feel happy. He lays besides you and kisses you, now a calmer kiss but still full of affection. Then he kisses your forehead and asks if you liked it and, when you say yes, he is relieved and happy.

"You did so well."

Franky

You enter his room and he starts kissing you tenderly, with one hand on your cheek and the other on your waist, leading you towards his bed. When you were already there, he picked you up and laid you down on the bed, got on top of you and continued kissing you.

You stay like that for a while until you start to feel his erection touching your leg. You automatically go to touch his dick with your hand.

He stops kissing you, looks at you with a huge smile on his face and says "Already exploring, aren't you?".

You are embarrassed and take your hand off his dick, but he directs your hand there again. You start to caress him and he kisses you again. Then he gives you hickeys on your neck and asks you to sit down so he can take off your shirt. Then he takes off your pants and leaves you in just your bra and panties.

He looks at you and is dazzled by your body. He looks at you for a few seconds and you feel embarrassed.

"You look beautiful !" – He said, noticing your discomfort. he rapidly kisses you and takes off your bra and starts massaging your breast. You put your arms around his neck and let him kiss you.

At first he just played with them, but then he asked if he could suck them. You nodded and he started to do it: with one hand he caressed one of your breasts, with the other he held the other and sucked the tip of your nipple.

After a while he stops and looks at you, this time with a more serious look. You see the concern in his eyes. You cup his cheeks and give him a little kiss on the lips, and say that you really want to do this with him.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"– He asks to make sure you still want to do this and don't have change your mind or got scared halfway through.

You had already talked about it and he knew you really wanted this, but he needed to be sure before doing something that had no way back.

"Yes, I'm sure this is what I want to do" – you say and he smiles. You take off his shirt, and he helps you out. He takes advantage of you sitting down and takes off your bra and then your panties.

"You're suuuuper cute!" he says looking at your body which, compared to him, was small and, to him, seemed fragile. He starts kissing you passionately. Your tongues intertwine while he massages your clit. He makes circular and repetitive movements, and you start to get wetter. You start to moan more loudly.

Upon hearing your moans he stops caressing you, he takes off your panties, opens your legs and gets between them. You look at the naked man with his cock already erect in front of you and you feel even more desire for him.

He sees your hips moving on their own and his dick twitch. He positions with his hand his penis at your entrance and then puts just the tip inside you and looks at you with hesitation. You look at him again with your eyes full of desire and he sees that as a cue to enter you completely.

You feel a pain you've never felt before, as his cock fills your vagina. You make a face of pain and he, when realizes it, kisses you to try to calm you down.

After a while he starts to move and begins to repeatedly tuck his dick into your pussy. Your pain continued for a while, but soon turned into pleasure.

You put your legs around him, your bodies going against each other, you put your hands on his back and he starts to caress your clitoris with one of his big finger.

After a while he asks if you want to try another position. You say yes and he demonstrates the position you have to make, which makes you laugh.

He puts your body against yours and gets on top of you, unable to control his desire, almost crushing you beneath his large body.

"You're doing great..." – He says between moans. Both of you start to moan louder and louder, and soon he reaches his climax.

He looks at you with a big smile and he caress your face, lost in your gaze. As he knows you haven't cum yet, he moves and puts his head between your legs and starts licking and sucking your intimate parts.

You grab his messy hair and start to play with it, moaning with pleasure. He keeps sucking your clit until you cum. You lean his head against your vagina even more while you're cumming , which makes him smile (he finds it extremely hot).

When you finished, you let him move away from yours touch and you saw his mouth dripping your own juices. He lies down next to you and holds you in a big hug, putting his head on your neck and closing his eyes.

"So? How was it?" He asked, despite already knowing your answer. You say it was perfect and he laughs, proud of himself.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Hello! i apologize if this a strange question to get but i hope you can shed some light with this! (but its totally alright if not).

speaking as a person in the aro-ace spectrum, i have stumbled on this roadblock in my latest project, romance is a element in multiple character's story, however i have realized i have absolutely no idea how to even begin to to portray it in deep and grounded in reality way.

but i guss the simplest thing to answer would be, how do i figure out what one of my characters would find attractive in a romantic partner? how do i make their slow transition into a romantic relationship not feel out of place or jarring?

again i apologize for this strange question, and how long this question is, hope you have a good day!.

Writing Notes: Romantic Relationships

Stages of Relationship Development. In this study, 10 stages of interaction were found that can help us understand how relationships come together and come apart (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009).

We should keep the following things in mind about this model of relationship development:

relational partners do not always go through the stages sequentially,

some relationships do not experience all the stages,

we do not always consciously move between stages, and

coming together and coming apart are not inherently good or bad.

Relationships are always changing—they are dynamic.

Although this model has been applied most often to romantic relationships, most relationships follow a similar pattern that may be adapted to a particular context.

COMING TOGETHER PHASE

Stage 1: Initiating

In this stage, when we are attracted to someone, we may signal or invite them to interact with us.

For example, you can do this by asking them to dinner, to dance at a club, or even, “I really liked that movie. What did you think?”

The significance here is in the relational level (how the people feel about each other) rather than the content level (the topic) of the message.

As the poet, Maya Angelou, explains, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with shades of deeper meaning.”

The ‘shades of deeper meaning’ are the relational level messages that invite others to continue exploring a possible romantic relationship.

Quite often, we strategize how we might go about inviting people into communication with us so we can explore potential romantic development.

Initiating is influenced by several factors:

If you encounter a stranger, you may say, “Hi, my name’s Rich.”

If you encounter a person you already know, you’ve already gone through this before, so you may just say, “What’s up?”

Time constraints also affect initiation. A quick passing calls for a quick hello, while a scheduled meeting may entail a more formal start.

If you already know the person, the length of time that’s passed since your last encounter will affect your initiation. For example, if you see a friend from high school while home for winter break, you may set aside a long block of time to catch up; however, if you see someone at work that you just spoke to ten minutes earlier, you may skip initiating communication.

The setting also affects how we initiate conversations, as we communicate differently at a crowded bar than we do on an airplane.

Culture can also impact the interaction. Some cultures have different expectations for interactions between people of different ages, sexes, or other situations while some cultures do not have as many expectations.

Even with all this variation, people typically follow their culture’s social scripts or interaction at this stage.

Stage 2: Experimenting

In this stage, we are getting to know the other person to identify compatibility beyond physical attraction.

We share information about ourselves while looking for mutual interests, shared political or religious views, and similarities in family background.

Common dating activities in this stage: going to parties or other publicly structured events, like movies or a concert, that foster interaction and small talk.

Small talk, a hallmark of the experimenting stage, is common among young adults just beginning to explore a new relationship by staying on polite, uncontroversial topics.

Small talk can be annoying sometimes, especially if you feel like you have to do it out of politeness but it serves important functions: creating a communicative entry point that can lead people to uncover topics of conversation that go beyond the surface level, helping us audition someone to see if we’d like to talk to them further, and generally creating a sense of ease and community with others.

If your attempts at information exchange with another person during the experimenting stage are met with silence or hesitation, you may interpret their lack of communication as a sign that you shouldn’t pursue future interaction.

Even though small talk isn’t viewed as very substantive, the authors of this model of relationships point out that most of our relationships do not progress far beyond this point (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009).

Stage 3: Intensifying

In this stage, we continue to be attracted (mentally, emotionally, and physically) to one another, we begin engaging in intensifying communication. 

This is the happy stage (the “relationship high”) where we cannot bear to be away from the other person. It is here that you might plan all of your free time together, and begin to create a private relational culture.

Going out to parties and socializing with friends takes a back seat to more private activities (e.g., cooking together at home or taking long walks on the beach).

Self-disclosure continues to increase as each person has a strong desire to know and understand the other. In this stage, we tend to idealize one another in that we downplay faults (or don’t see them at all), seeing only the positive qualities of the other person.

Other signs of the intensifying stage can include:

creation of nicknames or inside jokes

increased use of we and our

increased sharing emotionally (e.g., saying “I love you”.)

increased physical intimacy

increased communication about each other’s identities

increased sharing of possessions and personal space (e.g., you have a key to your partner’s apartment)

Stage 4: Integrating

In this stage, identities and personalities are merged, and a sense of interdependence (dependence on each other) develops. 

Verbal and nonverbal signals of the integrating stage are when the social networks of two people merge; those outside the relationship begin to refer to or treat the relationship partners as if they were one person (e.g., always referring to them together—“Let’s invite Olaf and Bettina”); or the relational partners present themselves as one unit (e.g., both signing and sending one holiday card or opening a joint bank account).

Even as two people integrate, they likely maintain some sense of self by spending time with friends and family separately, which helps balance their needs for independence and connection.

They are looking to measure how well their new partner fits into their lives and how other significant relationships (friends and family members) rate or respond to their new love interests.

When the “relational high” begins to wear off, couples begin to have a more realistic perspective of one another and the relationship as a whole.

Here, people may recognize the faults of the other person that they so idealized in the previous stage.

Also, couples must again make decisions about where to go with the relationship—do they stay together and work toward long-term goals, or define it as a short-term relationship?

A couple may be deeply in love and also make the decision to break off the relationship for a multitude of reasons.

Perhaps one person wants to join the Peace Corps after graduation and plans to travel the world, while the other wants to settle down in their hometown.

Their individual needs and goals may not be compatible to sustain a long-term commitment.

Stage 5: Bonding

In this stage, a couple makes the decision to make the relationship a permanent part of their lives.

In this stage, the participants assume they will be in each other’s lives forever and make joint decisions about the future.

While marriage is an obvious sign of commitment it is not the only signifier of this stage. Some may mark their intention of staying together in a commitment ceremony, by registering as domestic partners, or by becoming Facebook official.

Likewise, not all couples planning a future together legally marry. Some may lose economic benefits if they marry, such as the loss of Social Security for seniors or others may oppose the institution (and its inequality) of marriage.

Not only do romantic couples progress through a series of stages of growth, they also experience stages of deterioration.

Deterioration does not necessarily mean that a couple’s relationship will end.

Instead, couples may move back and forth from deterioration stages to growth stages throughout the course of their relationship.

COMING APART PHASE

Stage 6: Differentiating

Individual differences can present a challenge at any given stage in the relational interaction model; however, in the differentiating stage, each partner in the relationship is reasserting their sense of self and trying to discover who they are as part of a couple.

Communicating differences becomes a primary focus.

Differentiating is the reverse of integrating, as we and our reverts back to I and my.

People may try to re-establish some of their life prior to the integrating of the current relationship, including other relationships, hobbies, and interests, or possessions.

For example, Carrie may reclaim friends who became “shared” as she got closer to her partner and their social networks merged by saying, “I’m having my friends over to the apartment and would like to have privacy for the evening.”

Or, she may have liked playing golf on Sundays and abandoned it for Sunday dinners with her new partner and her new family.

Now, she will want to return to what makes her happy.

Individuals in the couple will want to have a sense of self that is independent and not necessarily tied to their partner.

Stage 7: Circumscribing

In this stage, communication decreases and certain areas or subjects become restricted as individuals verbally close themselves off from each other.

Circumscribe means to draw a line around something or put a boundary around it (Oxford English Dictionary Online, 2011).

They may say things like “I don’t want to talk about that anymore” or “You mind your business and I’ll mind mine.”

If one person was more interested in differentiating in the previous stage, or the desire to end the relationship is one-sided, verbal expressions of commitment may go unechoed—for example, when one person’s statement, “I know we’ve had some problems lately, but I still like being with you,” is met with silence.

Passive-aggressive behavior and the demand-withdrawal conflict pattern may occur more frequently at this stage.

Couples often engage in more outward conflict.

Stage 8: Stagnating

During this stage, romantic partners begin to neglect the small details that have always bound them together and their relationship becomes routine.

For example, they may stop cuddling on the couch when they rent a movie and instead sit in opposite chairs.

Taken in isolation, this example does not mean a relationship is in trouble.

However, when intimacy continues to decrease, and the partners feel dissatisfied, this dissatisfaction can lead to worrying about the relationship.

The partners may worry that they do not connect with one another in ways they used to, or that they no longer do fun things together.

When this happens they may begin to imagine their life without the relationship.

Rather than seeing the relationship as a given, the couple may begin to wonder what life would be like not being in the partnership.

They begin to assume that they know their partner and are dissatisfied with them.

Instead of communicating, a person may think, “There’s no need to bring this up again because I know exactly how he’ll react!”

Because of this kind of thinking, communication comes to a standstill.

This stage can be prolonged in some relationships.

Parents and children who are estranged, couples who are separated and awaiting a divorce, or friends who want to end a relationship but don’t know how to do it may have extended periods of stagnation.

Although most people don’t like to linger in this unpleasant stage, some try to avoid potential pain from termination, some hope to rekindle the spark that started the relationship, or even some enjoy leading their relational partner on.

Stage 9: Avoiding

Moving to this stage may be a way to end the awkwardness that comes with stagnation, as people signal that they want to close down the lines of communication.

Communication in the avoiding stage can be very direct—“I don’t want to talk to you anymore”—or more indirect—“I have to meet someone in a little while, so I can’t talk long.”

While physical avoidance such as leaving a room or requesting a schedule change at work may help clearly communicate the desire to terminate the relationship, we don’t always have that option.

In a parent-child relationship, where the child is still dependent on the parent, or in a roommate situation, where a lease agreement prevents leaving, people may engage in cognitive dissociation, which means they mentally shut down and ignore the other person even though they are still physically present.

Stage 10: Terminating

This stage of a relationship is when the relationship is ended.

Termination can occur at any point in the relational development model or follow through the phases of coming together and coming apart.

Termination can result from outside circumstances such as geographic separation or internal factors such as changing values or personalities that lead to a weakening of the bond.

When terminating a relationship, people will often follow a pattern that is typical of their culture.

In mainstream American culture, for example, it is typical for someone to start the formal termination of a relationship with a summary message that recaps the relationship and provides a reason for the termination (e.g., “We’ve had some ups and downs over our three years together, but I’m getting ready to go to college, and I either want to be with someone who is willing to support me, or I want to be free to explore who I am.”).

The summary message may be followed by a distance message that further communicates the relational drift that has occurred (e.g., “We’ve really grown apart over the past year”), which may be followed by a disassociation message that prepares people to be apart by projecting what happens after the relationship ends (e.g., “I know you’ll do fine without me. You can use this time to explore your options and figure out if you want to go to college too, or not.”).

Finally, there is often a message regarding the possibility for future communication in the relationship (e.g., “I think it would be best if we don’t see each other for the first few months, but text me if you want to.”) (Knapp & Vangelisti, 2009).

Love Styles. An individual’s love style is considered to be an attitude and describes how love is perceived (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1988).

Attitudes toward love and perceptions of love may change throughout an individual’s life.

College students may perceive love very differently from their parents or guardians because college students are in a very different stage of life.

College students are living among people their age who are more than likely single or unmarried.

These 2 factors mean that there are more prospects for dating, and this may lead the college student to conclude that dating any number of these prospects is necessary or even perceive that “hooking up” with multiple prospects is acceptable.

In contrast, individuals with children who are financially tied may view romantic relationships as partnerships in which goal achievement (pay off the house, send kids to college, pay off debt, etc.) is as important as romance.

These differences in perceptions of love can be explored through John Lee’s love typology in which he discusses 6 love styles (Lee, 1977):

Eros. Eros is romance and emphasizes love and physical beauty, immediate attraction, emotional intensity, and strong commitment. Eros love involves the early initiation of sexual intimacy and consecutive monogamous relationships.

Storge. Storge love develops slowly out of friendship where stability and psychological closeness are valued along with commitment, which leads to enduring love. Passion and intense emotions are not valued as they are in the eros love style. One of the author’s uncles was in his 60s and had never been married. However, he employed a woman who cooked and cleaned for him for over 20 years. His family was very surprised to receive an announcement that he was marrying the individual who took care of him for so long. The formation of their love is a great example of love that arises slowly out of friendship.

Ludic. Ludic lovers view love as a game, and playing this game with multiple partners is perceived to be acceptable by individuals with this love style. As such, this type of lover believes that deception and manipulation are acceptable. Individuals with this love style have a low tolerance for commitment, jealousy, and strong emotional attachment.

Agape. In contrast, agape love involves altruism, giving, and other-centered love. This love style approaches relationships in a non-demanding style with gentle caring and tolerance for others.

Pragma. Pragma love is known as practical love involving logic and reason. Arranged marriages were often arranged for functional purposes. Kings and Queens of different countries often married to form alliances. This love style may seek out a romantic partner for financial stability, ability to parent, or simple companionship.

Mania. Mania is the final love style characterized by dependence, uncertainty, jealousy, and emotional upheaval. This type of love is insecure and needs constant reassurance.

These love styles should not be considered to be mutually independent.

An individual may approach love from a pragmatic stance and have found love that provides financial stability.

However, they still feel insecure (representative of mania) about whether their romantic partner will remain with them, thus ensuring continued financial stability.

It is important to remember that individuals engage in each of these love styles, and it is simply a matter of how much of each love style a person possesses.

The 5 C's of Healthy Relationships. According to Dan Heller (2020), there are a few clues into what might make a relationship work.

In a research project Heller tackled in 1983 as an undergraduate at UC-Santa Cruz, he found 5 components present in successful relationships.

Heller found that the happiest individuals in his research were those who could identify all 5 of these elements in their romantic relationships.

Communication: Effective communication is vital in any relationship. It involves actively listening to each other, expressing thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully, and resolving conflicts in a healthy way.

Compatibility: The shared values, interests, and goals that bring people together. While differences can be enriching, having fundamental compatibility in important areas can strengthen a relationship's foundation.

Commitment: A willingness to invest time, effort, and energy into the relationship. It means prioritizing the partnership and working together to overcome challenges. Both partners should be dedicated to making the relationship work and be willing to make compromises when necessary.

Care: Care in a relationship involves showing love, affection, and support for your partner. This can manifest through small gestures of kindness, empathy, and consideration for each other's well-being. It's about being there for your partner in good times and bad.

Compromise: Relationships require compromise from both persons involved. This means finding common ground and making sacrifices to meet each other's needs and desires. Healthy compromise is a collaborative effort that ensures both individuals feel valued and respected.

Elements of Healthy Relationships

Communication. The way you talk with friends or partners is an important part of a relationship. Everyone involved should be able to communicate feelings, opinions, and beliefs. When communicating, consider tone and phrasing. Miscommunication often occurs when individuals choose to text versus talking in person or a phone call. Figuring out the best ways to express your feelings together will help eliminate miscommunication.

Boundaries. Boundaries are physical, emotional, and mental limits or guidelines a person sets for themselves which others need to respect. You and your partners or friends should feel comfortable in the activities you are doing together. All individuals involved should be respectful of boundaries. Whether it’s romantic, sexual, or platonic, consider what you want the relationship to look like and discuss it with the other(s).

Consent. Consent is important in all relationships. Consent is uncoerced permission to interact with the body or the life of another person. Coercion can look like pressure to do something, physical force, bargaining, or someone holding power over another to get what they want. Consent can look like asking about boundaries in relationships, actively listening to responses, and always respecting those boundaries.

Trust. Each person in the relationship should have confidence in one another. If you are questioning whether to trust someone, it may be important to communicate your feelings to them. Consider what makes you not trust someone. Is it something they did, or is it something you’ve experienced in other relationships?

Honesty. Honesty is important for communication. Each person within the relationship or friendship should have the opportunity to express their feelings and concerns. If you don’t feel comfortable being honest with someone, consider why and seek support if needed.

Independence. It’s important to have time to yourself in any relationship. Having opportunities to hang with others or time for self-care is important to maintain a healthy relationship. If you live with your partner(s) or friend(s), set up designated areas within your place where you can spend time alone.

Equality. Each person in the relationship should have an equal say in what’s going on. Listen to each other and respect boundaries.

Support. Each person in the relationship should feel supported. It’s important to have compassion and empathy for one another. In addition to supporting one another, it’s important to recognize your own needs and communicate boundaries around support.

Responsibility. Some days you may find you said something hurtful or made a mistake. Make sure to take responsibility for your actions and do not place the blame on your partner(s) or friend(s). Taking responsibility for your actions will further trust and honesty.

Healthy conflict. You may think conflict is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, but talking about issues or disagreements is normal. You won’t find a person that has the exact same interests, opinions, and beliefs as you; thus, at times disagreements may occur. Communicating your feelings and opinions while being respectful and kind is part of a healthy relationship.

Safety. Safety is the foundation of connection in a relationship. In order to set boundaries, communicate, and have fun, everyone must feel safe. If you do not feel safe to express your feelings, have independence, or anything else on this list, seek support using the resources below.

Fun. In addition to all these components, you should be enjoying the time you spend with others. Again, it’s important that your relationships promote your well-being and do not diminish it.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Hi, I don't think this is a strange question, no apologies necessary! There were so many ways I wanted to answer this. For the first question on how to "figure out what one of [your] characters would find attractive in a romantic partner", you may base some of it on Love Styles (+ relevant information in the other studies discussed above).

As for making "their slow transition into a romantic relationship not feel out of place or jarring", the Stages of Relationship Development is one model you can consider for inspiration. Also added some findings on "elements" of romantic/healthy relationships that I thought you may find helpful to incorporate in your story as well. Choose which ones make sense for your characters.

Another way I wanted to answer this was on common love/romance tropes in literature and other media. I find it helpful to learn about different tropes used by other authors when there are topics we want to cover as fiction writers, but have limited knowledge/experience on. But then you could always deviate or subvert those tropes/ideas once your story starts to flow naturally (+ considering your own story angle etc.). As such, here are some links to tropes related to romance that might give you some ideas: 1 2 3 4 5 6 (+ study these tropes in your favourite books/shows etc. to know more how you could also use them in your own writing).

More references:

The Physiology of Love ⚜ The 4 Kinds of Love

Love (according to literature) ⚜ Triangular Theory of Love

John Steinbeck: On Falling in Love

[unsolicited-opinions]

I'm leaving off the identifying info from this Tumblr post because I want to vehemently disagree with the ideas expressed, not shout at a person.

Even a casual review of history shows that any attempts to accommodate/appease Nazis will not save those who seek to appease them. (If you disagree, please give an example from history where appeasing any authoritarian has worked out well for those who attempted appeasement)

To be clear, I continue to support the ADL. The ADL's work is needed, it matters, and it should not only continue, but radically improve.

The ADL must improve its information gathering methods, improve its reporting methods, develop and commit to a clear set of principles, and find leadership with both a spine and functional knowledge of history.

I can only think of two plausible motivations for Greenblatt's spectacularly bad decision:

1. If Greenblatt was frightened of how a pissed-off Trump administration might attack the ADL and allowed that fear to make this choice for him, he lacks the spine to lead the ADL's mission and should resign. The ADL's job is to oppose Jew hatred. Greenblatt failed to do that.

2. If Greenblatt didn't want to criticize what he saw and recognized as sieg heils (and dogwhistles to the white supremacist base of MAGA) because he feared potentially jeopardizing the Trump administration's support for Israel, he is willing to excuse Jew hatred from Nazis in the *US* half the Jewish world in order to prioritize the *other half in Israel*. The job of the ADL is not to prioritize where to fight Jew hatred based on political convenience, but to oppose Jew hatred everywhere. Greenblatt failed to do this and should resign.

With this one excruciatingly bad decision, Greenblatt has ceded the ADL's position as an authority on Jew hatred and thereby weakened the ADL for at least a generation. The damage to their credibility may never be repaired.

We are living, in many respects, in 1933 Germany, whether or not Jews are the explicitly named targets of this administration. You know it and so does Greenblatt. There's no excuse for his failure to condemn the accelerating US slide into authoritarianism, and no excuse for his failure to condemn Musk's dogwhistle.

You say the ADL was wise to avoid alienating what you and I agree is an antisemitic administration. I believe that the ADL should seek to alienate and aggressively oppose anybody who is threatening the Jewish people.

You say that Greenblatt's lie was a "little white lie" which will make it easier for your children to live here. A white lie is a minor lie which could be considered harmless, or even beneficial. I believe that lies on this scale and on these topics are not little and not harmless. Appeasing antisemites (which is what you admit Greenblatt did) has never in history made Jews safer.

Greenblatt could even have released a statement saying something like:

"While we cannot know what was in Mr. Musk's heart and speak with certainty regarding his intent, we are nonetheless concerned that his behavior will be regarded by hate groups in the US as a dogwhistle and a sign that Musk and the administration he speaks for are (again) expressing solidarity with racist, hateful, anti-democratic organizations. Here are the things we hope Mr. Musk and President Trump will do to alleviate those concerns..."

Counter to what you wrote, the ADL does not need to meet any legal standard or satisfy the requirements of any court to do this.

Instead, Greenblatt saw the sieg heils, recognized them for what they were, then rushed to lie about them in the most public fashion possible, doing enormous damage to the cause he's tasked to lead. He capitulated to an antisemitic administration in advance. How is this a "little white lie?"

Greenblatt should resign in disgrace. I think he won't, though, because disgrace requires having a sense of shame.

I don't know if Greenblatt never had a spine, a brain, or a sense of shame, or if he got rid of them specifically for this occasion - but all three are needed, he doesn't have them, and he should resign.

Lastly, I reject your characterization of all Jewish criticism of Greenblatt's spectacular failure to meet his most basic responsibilities...as "stupid."

By all means, do disagree. There's nothing more Jewish than a good disagreement - but there's also nothing stupid about the countless US Jews who know history, who see clearly what Trump and Musk are, and who are justifiably angry with Greenblatt for spectacularly failing in his most fundamental responsibilities.

[atangledfate]

Dawn focused on the more heavily injured patients, those requiring stitches, or who might have internal bleeding. She was confident in letting the old lemur deal with less injured patients. Setting bones, or minor cuts and bruises. She was quick with her hands, and could easily stitch someone up in a quick motion. Using a numbing agent when she had to but she was hyper aware that it was running low. That she might have to resort to injections soon enough. But between the two of them they had the room nearly ready to be moved in a short amount of time.

" If they can be moved then we'll be moving them. But i get to make that call, most of these folk will be easy transfers. But there are a few at least that we won't risk moving. Doc's Orders "

She eyed the Phone and nodded and tugged out her little data pad, and grabbed the number from Twists phone. She could more easily transfer need to know info to the incoming medic once he arrived. Though she was hoping for a small team rather then any single person. Still she wouldn't snub her nose at any help at this point.

" Right, sent the data packet to them, hopefully that speeds things along... #1 will meet them at the entry way, so let's just keep working unless you need to meet them or something like that "

===============================================

Jewel felt like she was going to lose her lunch all over the Tenrec. Funny as it was she was kind of use to moving at high speeds. Between her own flight being rather zippy in movement and, Tangle's tossing her around as a kid. You'd think you'd be use to it! but this was way worse then anything tangle did to her and yet--- perhaps it was this reason that she was able to keep herself from making a mess on the floor! It was a close one but thankfully she kept her lunch where it belonged!

She gave the Tenrec a side eye and honestly she seemed like she grew up since last they spoke. She nodded to the Tenrec aware that she took a bump. Thankfully she was kind of armored by her chitin so the injury wasn't as serious as if she'd been a mammal.

" Yea... that's probably not a bad idea. I did get hit in the head by a building i guess..."

She laughed nervously though it was a joke to make light of how she could have died if not for Charmy and the two trouble makers.

" Thanks... and ... i know you and Kitsunami have always had a bit of a rocky reputation here at Restoration. But i've always believed in you both... i think this crisis only proves my faith was well founded. "

" No matter what happens today--- you'll always have a home here in restoration..."

Jewel stepped into the main room buzzing her wings as she gave a nod to Sonic and Kitsunami as she passed. Though paused near Belle and Miles as she didn't see Lanolin or any other commander near by it must have been more dire then she realized.

" I need a full Briefing... bring me up to speed. "

"Relax, I'm not say to just uproot everyone, though just to move as many as we possibly can without endangering anyone. I'm sure there are a couple who can still be moved, just not comfortably." Twist wasn't used to all this middle ground work as he was the sort of guy to just follow the orders he was given and execute them. The lemur still understood the importance of keeping the peace in times like this.

Twist didn't move quickly, deciding to take a moment to access all the injured and what he could do with his limit knowledge. The last thing he wanted to do was make any injures worse and make Dawn's job harder. The lemur settled on doing simple tasks. Popping in a dislocated joint, helping bandage some people up, and making a few quick splints. Simple tasks, though he was getting to a good amount of people so the nurse could focus on those with heavier injuries.

Twist would stop for a moment and pull out his phone to see a notification. The lemur finding one of the copies that wasn't too busy. "Here, the doctor is in the base, though figured you giving them all the details as they make their way here might help." Best to have someone who knew how things work inform the doctor of the situation.

===========================================================

"Well, I tried to go slower than normal, though there's also a time crunch here." Surge wasn't used to having to drag someone around as Drippy can normally keep up with her for the most part, though it seemed even her best attempt not to move too fast didn't work as well as she thought. The tenrec was sure Jewel would have an upset stomach, though wanted to avoid causing dizziness. "Might be best you wait where people can see you. That dome of yours ain't looking too good and I don't think it could take bumping into anything." Hard not to notice that the beetle took a bit of a hit to the head, even if it doesn't look too bad.

"And I'm don't want to hear you argue," Surge said as she opened the door and waited for Jewel to enter the room first. The tenrec didn't want the beetle to get hurt as she knows first hand it can be a bit tricky walking around after you shake off from being dizzy. Best they're in eye view of everyone so if she makes a misstep by mistake someone can catch her or prevent her from hurting herself.

[lqtraintracks]

Writing Interview

Thanks so much for the tag @starquestingfordrarry! <333

how many works do you have on ao3? 337

what's your total ao3 word count? 1,454,047

your top 5 stories by kudos

Right Hand Red (with freakin’ 40,662; sorry, I just noticed that it had ticked over the 40k mark and I’m flabbergasted and so grateful as well <3 )

Hung Like a Horntail

Slip Into My Lover’s Hands

Weeds or Wildflowers written with sdk / @unmistakablyoatmeal

check this hand ‘cause I’m marvelous

do you respond to comments? Er… yes?? Like, very. verrrrry. slowly. But I’ll admit that some will never get answered because I lose steam and then when I start trying again, I start with the newest ones. This might sound horn-tooty, which is not how I intend it, but with the number of stories I’ve written, I get a lot of comments. I’ve found it impossible to keep up, but I do my best, even if my best is sometimes a bit crappy. I do read and appreciate every comment I get though!

what's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? I don’t really do angsty endings often. When I do, it’s usually a Prongsfoot or something. Of the Drarry fics I’ve written, I have one open ending but it’s still pretty hopeful, and that’s Burning the Ground. 

what's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? All of them. :D My goal in life is to get readers (and myself) to cry with joy at the end of my stories. Some standouts just from memory are Heart Like Neon, Bolts, Take You Home, Jasmine in Bloom, Right Hand Red, Blood and Fire, and The Most Splendid Thing. 

do you write crossovers? Maybe one or two over the last 25 years. So, statistically, not so much. 

have you ever received hate on a fic? LOL of course. :D But I don’t linger on those comments. They’re quite few honestly. 

do you write smut? No, never. 

have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes. 

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes. Quite a few have been. Not even sure how many languages, but I know there are several in Russian, Chinese, and I think both Spanish and Portuguese. 

have you ever co-written a fic? Yes! With the incredibly talented sdk, @the-starryknight, and @nv-md! (And one round robin with like 552 people lol.)

what's your all-time favorite ship? Drarry, my beloved. <3

what's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I don’t really have wips. I’m a chronic finisher. I did start something last year for a friend’s birthday and then pooped out. I ended up writing her a completely different pairing months later. And then I took some of the vibes and ideas from that unfinished fic and wrote them into other fics that I *did* finish, so… Cannibalism. Yeah. 

what are your writing strengths? LOL finishing things! :D Also: smut, for sure. Humor. Sort of achy, hot romances? My trademark is writing tenderness and filth simultaneously. I’ve gotten good at pacing things well, so that beats and arcs feel well-rounded and satisfying, I think. 

what are your writing weaknesses? Ugh, plot!!! Specifically non-romance-or-pairing-based plotlines are difficult for me. Heavy angst. Also stakes. I struggle to up the stakes for my characters enough to give a big payoff. I struggle to make my characters change enough or to effectively write that change in a satisfying way. (This applies more to my original writing than to fic, I think.)

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I’m not sure what the hot take here is and if there is one I’m missing it. My original novel has a Spanish speaker and he will sometimes slip into Spanish during conversation. I wanted to get that right, so I had a native Spanish speaker (hi @capipuff!) read it to correct my bad Google-translated Spanish. So I guess my thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic is, do your best to get it right?

what's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?  If I want to write something, I write it. :D 

what's your favorite thing you've ever written? Oof. Wow. I want to say my original novel, even though it’s also more flawed than my fic tends to be. It’s certainly one of the things I’m most proud to have written. <3 Usually my favorite fic is the last thing I’ve written and that’s true right now as well. I love The Most Splendid Thing. But before that, my favorite was probably Jasmine in Bloom, and before that it was Take You Home. Bolts is for sure in the running. Heart Like Neon is way up there as well. As is My Name in Your Mouth, because I love that Teddy Lupin with all my horny heart. 

Okay I'm going to tag some of you fine folks now: Ali, you're it! Also, @writcraft @shiftylinguini @phoebe-delia @wholahoop @saintgarbanzo @academicdisasterfic @citrusses @corvuscrowned @lettersbyelise and @magpiefngrl

[sufferu]

You mentioned that one of your favorite elements in BTZ is that things can always get better, and it's never too late to make things right. Do you think the cast has a chance to fix any of the IF story Subarus, assuming they see those IF stories?

Please have Pridebaru as the comic relief no one takes seriously, and Slothbaru trying to help in between showing everyone pictures of his kids for the 15th time today

I’m gonna assume that these IF!Barus got sent back in time with all their. Issues.

Ayamatsu: They’ve kinda got to take him seriously enough to make sure that he doesn’t Do That again, and it’s not really comic relief anymore if he’s Right There and not just something out of a bad fanfiction. But — yeah, they might be able to. They’ve just got to get it through his thick skull that the world he is in is real and populated by real people whom he should be treating with respect. This isn’t something that would happen immediately, and they’d probably need to keep him under lock and key, but they might be able to figure it out eventually.

Oboreru: They capture him and release him into a maximum-security cell decorated with a large bed, plenty of blankets and pillows, and an army of soldiers right outside the door. If they can make Subaru feel that this room is safe and secure, then they can eventually use it as an anchor from which he can be escorted out and slowly readjust to the world around him. Wrath!Baru main problem is that he is this paranoid mess of a man that is constantly afraid of being betrayed, and his main threat to them is his Pleiades organization. If they can put him in a position where he can’t leverage his criminal organization against them (because it doesn’t exist), then they don’t have to worry about him killing them and can focus on helping him recover. And if they can construct an environment that is quiet, secure, and predictable, then recovery may indeed be possible.

Sloth:IF: Honestly Sloth!Baru never even really did anything wrong, his only real sin was that he could never come to terms with what happened that day he left. Even if he had never gone back in time they could help him: just get him in therapy to confront his inner demons and realize that 1) the Witch Cult was not his fault and 2) him running to the other side of the world to live a long, safe, and happy life with Rem is EXACTLY what Emilia would have wanted him to do, and he doesn’t have to feel guilty about keeping himself safe. The main issue is honestly that if he goes back in time he loses his wife and kids and — the grief from that would legitimately break him.

Kasaneru: I actually think that things can still be fixed in canon!Kasaneru. Nobody is dead, and so things can still be fixed, because healing is always possible so long as you’re not dead yet. I actually really like the idea of Greed!Emilia learning about RBD and — instead of letting it break her further — finally finding the strength to grow and break free of her chains on her own, leading everyone against Subaru so that he can finally be forcibly resigned and put to rest. In a time-travel scenario, meanwhile, their main issue is keeping Greed!Baru away from anything he can use to kill himself and making sure someone is watching him at all times as they force-feed him therapy about the value of his life. Constant surveillance and plenty of security measures and they indeed might manage to pull it off. —And also they’d need to destroy his connection with Echidna, if possible.

Tsugihagu: If they had the proper context as to why the fuck Subaru is like this, then they’d probably be able to solve it just by having a conversation with him about who he is to them, why they like him, and how any Subaru is a good Subaru, memories or not. The main issue would be the Books of the Dead and how he now has schizophrenia and also an unnerving amount of knowledge about half the cast, which. They could probably deal with that with time but it’s kind of unnerving at the moment.

[emryx]

When two NPCs with maybe 5 total minutes of screentime have you so obsessed you give them a child 🏃🏻

BEHOLD—my Teiago fankid, Elias de Riva (plus an info dump about him and his parents below because I’m very normal abt them but you can skip that and jus look at all the art if you want 🫣)

Realistically, it’s really hard to imagine a scenario where these two have a kid. But that’s what fanart and hcs are for 🙌 As of right now, I hc that around the time of the dialog from one of the crows abt Teia and Viago being "on again" is when he's conceived. But they don't really find out until after the ending of Veilguard. Any symptoms Teia might experience beforehand are just written off as stress or straight up ignored because of how much they have on their respective plates with the Antaam and the gods. Viago even calls her out for never going home and insists she takes a contract to “kill a vacation.” So I don't think it'd be too far fetched for her to look the other way until things are settled in Treviso again because of timeline stuff.

No clue how they react after the initial news rn but that can come later. They start being a little less childish with their back and forth break-ups at least once the seriousness of it all sinks in lol

Viago did not like the idea at first, I know that much. Mans was STRUGGLING with Elias in the early stages. Babies are loud, unpredictable, often inconsolable little heathens that he can't analyze or have a consistent system for. It would drive him nuts. A tiny human who can't yet care for itself and constantly needs to be held and directed, paired with his touch-aversion, OCD, and need for set routines? Yeahhh…Teia understands, but on one hand that woman just went through 9 months of her own hell and she's shoving that boy into his arms sometimes regardless of his bad days LMAO

It helps, in the end. Pushes him to gradually get used to it over time. Viago starts to realize there is somewhat of a system to the whole dad thing and fatherhood grows on him because I said so.

He holds a lot of resentment and hatred towards his own father. As a bastard of the king and one of his drunk mistresses, I doubt Viago’s upbringing was too great. The whole “demon teeth” comment was enough to hint as such. He wouldn't be thrilled about taking care of a baby, but the thought of entrusting his son to nannies? Strangers?? No. That's something his dad would and did do and he’s better than him. This is his kid; He doesn't care if it's gross, he'd rather feel uncomfortable sometimes for the sake of Elias’s comfort than stoop as low as the king.

On top of spite, the paranoia with poison extends to Elias in a way; one of my favorite hcs I’ve seen is Viago being exposed to assassination attempts on the king or his mistresses/servants while he was growing up before joining the crows, whether it’s via stories or witnessing first hand. The thought of entrusting Elias’s life to anyone else gives him flashbacks to being a child himself, scared to eat or drink anything prepared by anyone because of how many times others were killed that way around him. Even doing extensive checks and handpicking a trustworthy nanny is not reliable and doesn’t guarantee safety. We love a paranoid dad.

Teia on the other hand? | think she'd like a family tbh. Maybe she didn’t react well to first finding out she was pregnant, but otherwise the idea grows on her quickly compared to Viago. As an orphan, she didn't get much of a family—the crows became her family, Caterina as her "nonna" and some of the older Talons as her weird uncles. Being able to experience what she never had with a child she can ensure has a good life feels fitting for her character. Heals a bit of her own inner child too, yk? 🫠 She’s such a caring woman despite her occupation and she’d make a good mother. Scary, but good LMSKSKX

Life as a crow is harsh. Being the child of not one but two Talons?? On one hand that kid is very protected but on the other he has a huge target on his back. If Viago was worried about people thinking House de Riva and House Cantori had an alliance, I can only imagine what a wholeass child would stir up. They both would prepare him well for the future in their own ways. It’s not canon to him, but the thought of Elias being ridiculously resistant to poisons because Viago started building his immunity up so young is funny to me 😭

Anyways ramble over. Some creative liberties were taken, such as his eyes being more golden like how Teia’s are described in Tevinter Nights. I may give Elias his curls back because he looks goofy next to Teia and Viago with his emo hair JAKAMC

I love their little family…

[rose-gold-bullet]

[𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤] Star-Lord x Reader

Summary: You're sent on a mission to another planet and catch the attention of your ally. This takes place in the Marvel Rivals Universe; this Star-Lord might vary from the MCU!

warnings: brief 'love interest protects you from a creep' trope, canon-typical violence in the beginning, chronic use of (Y/N) in this bad boy

Your vision is clouded by thick smoke as buildings come crashing down around you. In this war-torn city, there's nothing to count on but your instincts, your weapons-

"Woo-hoo! Two points for the Star-Lord!"

Oh, and your idiot ally who's somersaulting through the air. The two of you and four others were called here on a mission to transport something to somewhere; frankly, neither of you read the brief, but it doesn't seem like you needed to.

Your new friend, Star-Lord you think you heard him say, lands right in front you. With the area quiet and the haze finally dissipating, you both lower your weapons and check your surroundings. Though it's out of sight and being watched over by the rest of your team, you're sure the objective has just about reached its destination. You watch as he removes his mask to say something, and he's so pretty you almost miss the enemy movement coming from behind him.

"Hah! did you see tha-"

"Duck."

"Goose?" you groan and shove him to the floor for his protection as you raise your gun, knocking out the Psylocke who was racing to get you when your defenses were low.

"Ohh, Nice one! She's so quiet!" He cheers you on from the ground as you extend your hand to help him up. Just as you let go of him, you hear Captain America shouting your names from a few streets over.

Once you're all grouped up, you're notified there's been no known casualties on either side and that the mission was a success. With that, you're all free to go, and you want nothing more than a peaceful, quiet walk on the way to the hotel you've booked for the night. With all this multiverse bullshit going on, it's been over a month since you were given approval to head back to Earth where you belonged. Travelling the universe has been exciting and all, but you can't help but miss home; the closest you've been able to find to it is a room for one built in a style you could maybe find somewhere on your planet.

"Hey! You!" you hear the sputtering of fuel behind you followed by a thump as your friendly pursuer lands as gracefully as he can beside you, "I never got your hero name!" Maybe this walk won't be as peaceful as you hoped.

You've seen him around before during missions, and he's even tried speaking to you a couple times, but you've just been so inside your head lately you've shut out just about everyone. As annoying as he might be, part of you is glad he's not the type to give up.

"I don't have one. (Y/N) is fine." You look up at him and catch the most upset look he could muster.

"(Y/N)? Fine normal name, I guess. But that can't be your hero name! I saw you out there, you were awesome!" You can't help but giggle at his enthusiasm, and his smile widens even more, "Tell you what, I'll come up with one for you."

Your giggle grows into a laugh, "Absolutely not, Star-Lord."

"What's wrong with Star-Lord? It's badass!" You want to say what you really think, that his name is both bad and ass, but it'd feel like kicking a friendly dog, so you swallow your jab.

"I guess it's a hero-name of some kind, which might be better than nothing." You humour him.

"So you'll let me pick?"

"I'll let you come up with ideas."

He proceeds to spitball the worst names you have ever heard in your entire life, which eventually spiral into any noun he can think of followed by 'lord'. You can tell that at a certain point he stopped trying and is just trying to make you laugh, but that doesn't mean it's not working.

"Gun-Lord?"

"Be- Because you saw me with a gun?" You can barely contain your giggles enough to answer.

"Too on the nose, huh?" He grins down at you, but you don't catch the adoration in his eyes.

Eventually you calm yourself down, "These suggestions have been so helpful, don't get me wrong, but I don't think we've found the winner quite yet."

"Give me a bit, maybe I'll come back tomorrow with some more heavy-hitters. We'll get you that name eventually. Where are we headed, by the way?" He looks around and notices you've reached the untouched part of the city, though the citizens are still, understandably, in a bit of a panic.

"I'm headed to my hotel. Where are you staying?"

"Pff, lame. I stay in a ship with my crew, you can stay there if you want!"

"Your... crew?"

"You haven't heard of us? The Guardians of the Galaxy?"

"Uhh, I might've heard that cute armed raccoon mention something like that? You know him?"

He laughs, "Don't call him that in front of him, he's a bit feral. But yeah, He works with me. So does Mantis and Groot."

"Weird crew you've got going on."

"You'd fit right in!" You can tell he definitely didn't mean it as an insult, "I'd have to get to know you a little better, but I think we could use someone like you, you know." You laugh again, but this time it's in disbelief. He can't be serious.

"I... I kind of have a life on Earth, I think. As tempting as it is to fuck off into space and do... space things together. I don't even know your name."

"I prefer Star-Lord, but Peter works too. And I think you're underestimating how cool the space things are. Come on, you're curious aren't you? Let me show you my ship."

You pause for a moment and think it over. You'd never join his crew, but there's just something about him that makes the thought of seeing him again so exciting. You wonder if other people find him so charming or just paint him as egotistical.

"Sure. Yeah. Meet me sometime tomorrow, maybe?"

"Your hotel, 10:00 AM?"

"Done."

You spend the rest of the walk talking mostly about Peter. You love asking the questions and he loves answering even more. You learn about his life in space, that he's not totally human like you thought, and you even get into discussing music by the time you've reached the lobby.

"I guess that's it for today." You try to hide your disappointment as both stand a few feet form the front desk—you already know him well enough to sense he doesn't need more of an ego boost.

"Yeah. It was great running into you, you kicked ass on the field."

"You too," you look up at him but suddenly have the urge to avoid eye contact, "Thanks for walking me back."

"Anytime."

***

Your night at the hotel felt longer than usual and you couldn't quite make out why. Maybe the room just wasn't as comforting as it looked in the pictures. Maybe you didn't get as much sleep as you wanted because you were too excited to see this spaceship you've heard so much about. Whatever the case, 10:00AM couldn't come fast enough, and by 9:30, you were already sitting in the hotel lobby, your leg bouncing with excitement. You feverishly check your watch and sneak glances out the tall, sunlit windows hoping you'd see your talkative new friend. 'Relax. You're never this antsy over a man,' You try to tell yourself. You sigh and close your eyes to ground yourself a little more.

"Stood up?" A gravelly, unfamiliar voice asks you.

"Huh?" Your eyes shoot open and dart towards the stranger in front of you. He's older, lean, and a bit too close for comfort. You stand up and take a step back. He takes a step forward.

"I asked if you got stood up. A pretty lady like you shouldn't be all alone." You can smell the alcohol; he's probably from the hotel bar. 'This early? Gross.'

"No, I'm just a bit early. Thanks for your concern, but you can head back to the bar."

"You should join me. You'd have more fun with my buddies and I." You're not sure if you should knock his lights out now or try to get someone's attention; you absolutely hate making a scene, and you can't tell what would cause less of a disturbance to the otherwise empty lobby.

"This guy bothering you?" You feel a hand on your waist, and you hate to admit it, but it provides a sense of comfort. You fight your instinct to roll your eyes—of course he of all people would love to save the damsel in distress; he's probably practiced that line in the mirror.

Nevertheless, you lean into him to sell your relationship a bit more, "I think we're fine. He was just leaving."

The creep goes pale; Peter is large. Even when drunk, he knows there's no way in hell he was going to beat him in a fight.

"Uhh. That's right. Have a great day, you two." He stumbles back towards wherever he came from, and you quickly turn to face your saviour.

"My hero." Sarcasm drips from your voice, "Thank you for saving me, Star-Lord." You roll your eyes and everything, but after saying hero, nothing else could penetrate his skull.

He smiles widely and his face tints red at the use of his name, clearly oblivious to your mockery, "No problem! It's expected of a Guardian like me." You can't help but laugh; He's just so dumb.

On the way out of the lobby, you quickly check your watch—‘9:43; he’s early, too.’ You smile to yourself, trying to keep it subtle.

You sharply inhale the strange, almost Earth-like air as he leads you in the direction of the aircraft dock near the edge of the city.

"It's still strange to me that ship docks even exist," You try to break the silence, "We've never had a need on Earth."

"Yeah, it's mostly a No-Fly zone for the other planets. Doesn't help that there's not much there anyway."

"Earth has a lot of problems, but it's not bad, I think. Maybe you should visit sometime. I've only just left and I'm already pretty homesick." It's only a half-truth; You've felt this way since you've left your family for S.H.I.E.L.D—it's a lonely life, being a hero.

"... Maybe. I don't know. My home's on that ship now. I'm not even sure what family I've got left there on Terra." You can tell he's got mixed feelings about his life back on Earth. You know better than to pry.

You only notice now that his hand is still on your waist from the lobby once he sighs and tightens his grip around you a little. You're farther from Earth than you've ever been, but you notice that the closer you are to Peter, the less you feel that pit in your stomach telling you to come home.

***

"Who the flark is this?" You separate from Peter only to use him as a shield from the talking raccoon,

"Uh, we've been on missions together before? I'm the gun girl?" you squeak out from behind him. You wanted to make a good impression, but it's a little hard to do when you're the only one on the ship with manners.

He squints, "... Widow?"

"No, the other one."

"Oh." He completely loses interest in you and goes back to working on whatever death machine he's tinkering with. You're not sure whether to be relieved or take offence.

"Yeah, that's Rocket. He's a real sweetheart." Peter takes to holding your hand as he guides you through the ship, meeting the rest of his crew one by one. It's an interesting group on a near dysfunctional aircraft, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't see the appeal.

Eventually, Peter leads you to the cockpit. Your eyes widen as you step towards the control panel.

"You can actually fly this thing?" You ask in awe, with one hand still holding his and the other tracing over the dashboard. You don't need to look at him to hear the smugness in his voice,

"Yup. Pretty cool, right? We'd have to get a seat added for you if you stay with us long enough, but it shouldn't take long to install."

"And where would I sleep if I were to ditch my hotel like you mentioned?" Again, you're definitely not considering joining his crew. You just want out of that hotel and you have a healthy curiosity.

"Uh... There's always my room?" Your head jolts to Peter who's shooting you his best flirtatious grin. It's goofy.

You giggle, "Only if you're fine with sleeping on the floor." Truth be told, staying with him does sound a lot better than a dingy hotel with a lobby that serves alcohol at 9:00AM. But you're not the type to sleep with someone you've only just met, even if you really want to, and even if it's only in the literal sense. Besides, you like Peter, but it’s hard to know just how many cute girls received the same treatment before you.

"Fair enough," He sighs, "There's a spare bedroom that's all yours if you want it."

"I might just take you up on it. Did you know S.H.I.E.L.D isn't even covering my room costs? total bullshit." You tactically leave out that you can more than afford it and you just want to spend more time with him (and maybe Mantis, who seemed absolutely lovely).

"Sounds good, we'll both be here for a couple weeks anyway until we're given the go-ahead to... what was it? 'Fuck off and do space things?'"

"That's right."

"Right. So yeah, My ship is your ship or whatever. But not really." You giggle and note the possessiveness he has over the Milano, "Welcome aboard... Earth-Woman?"

"Absolutely not."

This time it's his turn to laugh, "The next one is gonna be killer though, Trust me."

You smile at him before gently squeezing his hand then letting go to fully face the cockpits windows. You can only imagine the stars and planets this ship has seen, captained by someone who, in your eyes, might be even prettier than the galaxy itself. Not that you'd ever say that to his face, of course.

***

As you tuck yourself into the spare bedroom you had to spend the day cleaning out (it was unknowingly used as a storage room for Rocket's stolen garbage), you notice that your typical sense of loneliness and dread is nowhere to be found. That homesickness you've been carrying for much longer than you'd left Earth has vanished completely, and you can't help but think it might have something to do with that handsome, snoring idiot who's in the room across from yours.

Notes: -2303 words -i'd love to make a sequel but its heavily dependent on how this first part performs! (that means you should like or reblog if u liked this ;)), without a part two this ones cute but on the underwhelming side imho -could be heavily out of character, I'm going almost exclusively off his voice lines in the game! feel free to shoot an ask recommending changes to the shot :) -nothing else to say, i love him so much <3

[belovedivies]

裏 ft. yuika

cw: spoiler alert for yuika's backstory, mentions of typical-canon violence and death, emotional manipulation, suicidal thoughts, general bad vibes. pre-simon arc, implied kageo/yuika. masterlist

Sometimes, Yuika wondered what life would have been like if her whole clan hadn't been eradicated.

She's not delusional enough to think it would be a fairy-tale happy ending or anything. Ever since her childhood, those days weren't an easy path filled with sunshine and rainbows that people loved to sing praises about: a fuck ton of rules to obey as the future heiress, long indoor training hours until her heart threatened to stop, and maybe candy for a treat on rare occasions because, for all the wealth her Wandering Ghost Blade clan had had, she couldn't afford the luxury of simply being a kid.

It's no fun for a girl like her. Soft hands, big smiles, and a head full of ideas—all Yuika ever wanted was someone she could talk to. The servants would brush her hair, draping her body in the finest silk on every birthday as Yuika browsed through an array of perfumes expensive enough to feed an entire nation of starving people. What started as a delight that her muted world had gained some temporary vibrant colors soon became another burgeoning monotony. When those bottles filled up a whole room and her maids' comments felt more like bittering jabs than they were applauds, the cheerful child in Yuika also died a little.

But at least she still has her mother.

Kageo, too. The two people who made her feel like an actual person somewhat rather than a statue on a pedestal. They just didn't have the chance to be around that much in the past, and sadly so was she. Day-in and day-out etiquette lessons and sword practices ensured that none of her time could be wasted on mundane interactions. Her uncle was a strict man, and for years, Yuika was stuck in this confusing loop of thanking the man for what he had done for the clan when her father couldn't, resenting him for the way he had treated Kageo, and fearing that one day he might turn his back against the ones he called family. Still, he did what he had to do for her and the clan. Even until his dying breath, the old man had only wanted the best for Yuika.

But what had she wanted for herself?

What if there hadn't been a firelit graveyard filled with rotting, gas-filled corpses that Kageo had carried her away from on that fateful night, but a cozy lawn in the summer moonlight?

Deep within the mansion, tucked safely underneath the futon's duvet, Yuika would sleep like a baby. Her duties wouldn't be any less daunting, her people wouldn't look at her as anything but a pretty doll on display, and her life would still be laid out for her.

But maybe…

Maybe she could spend more time with her mother. Flashed her doe eyes and begged hard enough so that she would let her sweet girl tag along for afternoon tea. Yuika missed her gentle touches; how she wanted to sit on her mother's lap and hear the woman talk about her day again, just once more.

Maybe, with some effort and miracle, she could convince her austere old uncle to mellow out a little. He shouldn't be so harsh on people for things they couldn't control. Yuika used to wish he would see how unfair he was and how it would be so much better if he stopped viewing everyone outside the clan as a threat.

Maybe she could finally talk to Kageo without risking him another brutal beating.

Maybe she could have been more than a husk filled with vengeance and hatred.

Maybe she could be normal.

But her whole family was dead; her hands were soaked in the blood of two thousand individuals and counting; her name and Kageo's plastered all over Japan and the FBI's warrant.

Sometimes, Yuika wondered if she regretted the person she had become.

Maybe she did.

—

The second time Yuika thought about it rationally, her heart in her throat and your hands on her shoulders, she realized that she hated this life too.

It's fine. At least they weren't on the run anymore; one week after Raphael took the pair of street rats in and gifted them a fancy ship. Kageo was out discussing whatever with the new boss, but Yuika couldn't be bothered. All the time wasted on revenge, all the things she wanted to say to him had turned into her barely saying anything meaningful at all. A hundred miles away from land on the Ghost Cruise, Yuika heard the waves and saw the barely-there ray of a distant lighthouse through the window; your fingers carded through her hair, the phantom of a caress.

"How's Yuu-chan settling in, hmm?" you chirp. "Is everything to your liking?"

Glory Club seemed to have a penchant for idiosyncrasy, she thought. Both in the way this place functioned and how its subjects were treated. She wasn't complaining; she finally got a place to stay and a large tub to relax in, sprinkled with a few drops of lavender oil and rose petals. Yuika reeled her mind back to reality, letting out a small chuckle of her own when your fingers curled around a lock of her hair with more force than needed.

"Everything's perfect," she said, wetting her tongue when she remembered she had one. "Kageo and I would like to thank you again for your kindness."

Your grip loosened instantly as you let out a giggle, each titter cutting the back of Yuika's skull like a sharp blade. "Raphael's kindness," your jollity was still there, fingertips massaging the shampoo into her scalp. "But I'm glad; you're definitely looking better than you were last week, Yuu-chan!"

She allowed herself a humorless smile. "Do I?"

"Of course!" another enthusiastic remark. When your thumbs grazed the back of her neck, Yuika briefly wondered how many lives those hands had taken. "Your hair feels softer now, your eye bags are gone, and even your mood seems to increase too— well, you killed two of my brother's underlings today, but that's okay! Yuu-chan is happy, right?"

Because she was finally home.

In some ways, she hadn't changed at all. Yuika wasn't any less scared or clueless than the girl she had been thirteen years ago on that stormy night, rushing through the villa barefoot to reach her mother's chamber. She opened up to you almost too easily, finding solace in your touch like a bear that had been melted into butter. You reminded her of the woman so much; it's weird. It's so fucking weird. You're so fucking weird. Who the fuck invited someone they barely knew for a bath?

There was this sudden, crushing silence, save for the sound of water sloshing as you rinsed her hair. Yuika pursed her lips—neither a yes or no to your earlier query—and said your name. Quietly. Hesitantly. Like she was the one giving the question instead.

But you pressed closer, every inch of your front touching her back, and somehow, somehow Yuika already knew your answer before you even voiced it out.

"Hmm? What is it, Yuu-chan?"

"Why us?"

Why chose them?

Why brought them in and showered them in benignity?

She shouldn't be thinking this much, but you nuzzled into the junction where her neck met her shoulders; hands circling her waist underneath the water like a mother's embrace on a winter eve; smile imprinting her skin like an uncle's rare approval; eyes packed with a loving warmth like the daisies her and Kageo smelt that July noon in the bamboo trail behind the clan, and Yuika wanted to curl up and die, just a little bit.

"Yuu-chan, let me say this."

She let you.

"I remember when you first came in," you traced some unknown, asinine shapes on her stomach. "Tired, hopeless, and burnt out. You were a shell," the motion stopped as your hands left her midriff to dance spider-quick up her arms. "Barely eating, barely sleeping."

She was barely even alive when Kageo dragged her sorry ass from whatever shitty motel they hid in all the way to Korea.

"Who took you in? Who helped you?"

Kageo, I'm hungry. Where are we gonna go? We killed them; we killed them all. I didn't fucking choose this life. I never wanted us to be fugitives. You should just leave me be. Kageo, Kageo! I heard the sirens—

"Y-You," Yuika choked out, the gentle waves on the side of the ship ringing like a thousand agonizing screams in her ears. "You helped us."

"Raphael helped you." you corrected her, softly. Hands resting on her shoulders like the starting point of a never-ending game. "Because?"

"We need him."

"And?"

"He needs us."

"To?"

"Kill Peter."

"That's right," you patted her shoulders, then her hair. Each digit rubbed against her scalp as if nothing was amiss. As if they weren't on a giant cruise in the middle of the ocean, and Yuika wasn't trembling with the weight of her existence.

When she stilted, you giggled. Louder this time. "You're very talented, Yuu-chan," squeezed her. "But you're too soft; you don't belong in this world."

Not when the guilt of what she did still shadowed her.

Not when the gore and carnage wore her skin and burnt into her flesh.

Yuika couldn't learn to love the danger this line of work brought if what actively kept her alive now was the thought that one day she would get away from it.

"Shh," you cooed, smoothing out her still-damp hair before she could muster the strength to weep. "I know, Yuu-chan. You're not here to stay. Do your part well, and you can leave. Both of you."

"I," Yuika gritted her teeth. "But I did so many unforgivable things—"

"I've done far worse." the girl almost flinched when you tugged sharply on her hair, but instead of sharp pain, there was this fuzzy, suffocating warmth spreading down her spine. "So don't think too much, okay?" you continued, chiding her with an amused laugh. "Silly Yuu-chan," a soft sigh left your lips. "You deserve happiness too!"

"I… I do?" she mutters, small and helpless.

"I wouldn't think otherwise," another chuckle. The water rippled and splashed around them as she felt you stand up, followed by a cheerful, "Let's go; those two might be back soon." that strangely, anomalously brought a wry curl to her lips.

But when Yuika turned her head around, you weren't smiling at her.

taglist: @yaoduriaa @anjeliquesworld @crazycatwithscissors @i-anoobis-i @galaxyquirks @poppytartt @funsizedlaziness @missroro @hot-mexican-rat @hdstudio-045 @jaazoldyck @izzatune

[monoem]

Hihihi I saw this and wanted to add my own opinion to what Silas is saying, since I felt like some stuff might need a second opinion.

If you think constructive criticism on how to handle a harmless awards thing is, taking it "WAY too seriously", that can say a lot. This isn't meant to be an insult, but if you compare a small community like JWCC/CT to a massive one like K-pop, you're gonna get widely different responses to 'popularity contests'.

You say that it shouldn't be taken too seriously because it's just words and a png, and while that should probably be the case - you don't acknowledge the younger, and smaller creators that might find these awards to be pretty encouraging. This is a fandom around a kids show, and many people forget that kids interact with this. Nothing wrong with keeping yourself in adult circles, but it shouldn't be forgotten how starry-eyed kids can get at the idea of being recognised and not getting that png of a star. (Screw you Mr. Munday I deserved that gold sticker for my maths work)

I think you brushed past the multiple voting section of Sparks criticism too quickly. "Shit happens", sure, of course it does! That excuse can be used for a YouTubers fan base attacking someone, even if they advise against it. But when the option to make it a one vote form was available, it seems like a massive oversight. No hate to Salem on this! I get it, forms like these can be hard to manage, but there should've been some preparation before starting this award.

You can try and have faith in the fandom all you want, I know I do, but you can never be too sure about that stuff. There are people out here shipping a queer woman with a white man, and people denouncing the sapphic couple, I think it's safe to be weary of SOME bad apples.

Now for the main issue that I guess seems to have caused this (?), the topic of rarepairs and just oc x canon. Rarepairs are canon x canon, and aren't oc x canon in my opinion. I don't see my oc x canon ships as rare pairs, and if I did hell I'd be the mayor of rarepairville because I haven't shown anyone them before! /Lh.

Also I think you might've gotten rarepairs and crackships confused. I was aware of all this Elsa x Jack nonsense, and I can tell you those were not at ALL unpopular. That's what makes a rarepair, it needs to be really unpopular. Crackships definitely can fall under the rarepair term, but they are not a good example for this.

We could be here all day debating on our opinions, because really that's all they are! You see them as rarepairs and I don't, that's the joy of freewill in the human race, and we should cherish it. (I use debating, not arguing, because we're just talking things out).

We can all look at this and hopefully move past it, and in the future if another awards happens or something, we can add oc x canon in a separate category!

It may not be serious, but you don't know a person's thoughts about these until you ask them. It's not serious to me, I've been in fandom spaces for almost half my life; but to a new person it could mean the entire world to them - and those are mostly kids. And if it's anything, it's our responsibility as adults to be nice to them. Young kids or older kids, it doesn't matter.

Telling people to "sit back" because they're unhappy isn't good advice. If you take into account what I said about kids being the ones to take this seriously, they aren't thinking about what people are losing in these awards. A shout-out can boost a small creator MASSIVELY. YouTube is a massive example of that being true.

That's my two cents on it, thanks for reading my think piece.

CC/CT Tumblr Awards Final Results

Thank you all for participating in the awards. These awards were created as a way for the fandom to have fun and interact with creators that they may not have seen before, while also giving thanks to all creators in this fandom. Whether you write, draw, edit or create headcanons and memes for all to enjoy you are a vital part of the camp cretaceous/chaos theory fandom and the fandom would be much duller without you. Whether you have received an award or not you are a truly valued member of this community.

The winner of each award will be announced in the reblogs of this post.

[fashionteahouse]

Hey would you write cullens x reader when you break up with then over text and give now reason?

hii sure i could 💜 hope you enjoy :)

cullen x reader sends a breakup text with no explanation

Carlisle: double reads it to capture the tone to make sure if you’re joking or not. he would definitely call you, if you don’t answer he would leave a voicemail and would send a simple text of

please call me.

he would want to get to the bottom of it in a civil manner. he would want to know if it was something that he did, if it was something that made you feel some type of way. he knows that the lifestyle of a vampire is dangerous, he would understand if that was the reason but he just would like to know the reason and not be left in the dark. he would want to talk it out.

Rosalie: would pretend that it wouldn’t bother her but her actions would prove otherwise. she would continuously look at her phone to see if you would text back a reason but when you don’t, it makes her feel a tad bit angry for not being in the knowing. it’s the thing that’s constantly on her mind and she isn’t used to just being dumped like that, in fact being dumped at all. she would feel frustrated and even though she doesn’t want to, she would question her value as she wonders if you just became uninterested or bored with her. her nightmare that’s coming true.

Emmett: he would feel sad. he would send multiple texts of why. he would even question if it was him. constantly would check his phone to see if you would reply with an answer. he would try to give you your space but would eventually try to see you in person because he could only remember the good times that you both had. he can’t think of a bad time that you two had and would want you to tell him a definite reason so he could fix it.

Alice: she would WORRY. the wrong person to do this to as she would text you and blow your phone up with calls. you broke up over text with no reason but she would find a reason one way or another. she would pace as she constantly would check her phone and when she’s had enough of no reply, she would rush to see you to find where you are to question you in person.

Edward: would try his very best to brush it off, but he would overthink, he can’t help it. he would try to convince himself that “it’s for the best” only to find himself thinking deeply about you, not being able to get you out of his melodramatic mind. he wouldn’t reply, just simply find himself rereading it. he would dance around your contact name, wondering if it’s a good idea to just call but he would chicken out each time. especially if things were fine and good before, he would be very confused on the sudden surprise. he wouldn’t make it known, but he would try to give you your space but he would cheat and try to get an idea of where you might be. would question if you met someone else.

Esme: it would definitely hurt her feelings, often find herself blaming herself. thinking back to what made you lose interest and would want to end the relationship you two had with each other. she would try her hand at trying to text you answer your phone, but won’t overdo it. she would get the idea that you want peace but she would feel like she really wants an answer to the mysterious reason of why you ended things with her. she would leave a nice voicemail to your answering machine, letting you know that if you need to talk, she would be here and she won’t judge you for your reasoning. she would let you know that she will still be there for you.

Jasper: he would be very confused because he knew that things were fine and healthy. it would kill him to not know how you’re feeling and he just wants to hear your voice, not replying to the text but calling you back to back, hoping that you will answer. he would find himself trying to visit you but he wants to get the okay from you first, it’s hard because you won’t answer the phone and the text message that you left him, was very vague.