#did i overthink this? probably! but eh!

[atanx]

Hello and welcome to my meltdown about Subnautica's timeline!

Okay; for context: I'm writing a fic in which Ryley Robinson, my blorbiest of blorbos, hitch-hikes a ride with Robin to escape Alterra (Robin doesn't know this). And I, in ignorance, set this to take place five years after their departure from 4546B.

And then I looked on the wiki and found out that apparently Below Zero is set two years after Subnautica??? I went like 'huh, guess I'm canon-divergencing harder than I thought' and went to construct my timeline in-between the games in detail like any normal person writing gay subnautica fanfiction, and WHAT I DISCOVERED WILL SHOCK YOU!!!

(Disclaimer: the two years figure is from the Wiki and I couldn't find a source for it. So either someone invented it or the devs didn't pay attention to their own lore.)

In this essay I will explain why it is impossible that Below Zero takes place two years after the end of Subnautica!

The Aurora was at 4546B to install a phasegate in that part of space, something that would have been a really big deal because it would have made a far-away part of the universe accessible. They weren't able to, because of giant gun.

The Aurora will travel from spacedock on the edge of Alterra space, making hundreds of consecutive phasegate jumps through nine different trans-gov authorities, and arrive on the far side of the Ariadne Arm in three months' time. From there the command crew will pilot the ship beyond the final phasegate, arriving in the next solar system approximately 18 months later.

~ Databank entry: “Alterra Launches the Aurora”

So in total, the Aurora took 21 months, almost two years, to arrive at 4546B. And Alterra sent the rocket because they could only meet Ryley halfway. Let's say that 'halfway' is halfway from the last phasegate. So logically, since the Aurora launched from the edge of Alterra space, Alterra's rescue ships would also need to make those hundreds of phasegate jumps, which took the Aurora three months. I'm going to assume that the rescue ships are smaller than the Aurora and thus possibly faster, taking 2 months for the jumps.

Then, with a faster ship, they would maybe only need 14 months where the Aurora took 18. Half of that makes 7 months, for a total of 9 months at the earliest when they could meet up with Ryley. Since the Neptune would also need about 7 months to get to the halfway-point (yes, this means Ryley had to spend 7 months cooped up in that small-ass rocket. Best have brought enough rations when leaving 4546B!), this assumes that Ryley only took two months to cure themselves and build the rocket. If they took any longer, you'd have to add that time on top of everything.

So at 9 months, Ryley meets the rescue ships. I'm going to say that the post-credit cutscene was PDA-generated bs and Ryley was very much allowed to come aboard although they owe Alterra 'a trillion credits'. Since I doubt Alterra would send high-ranking personnel into the ass of space where a kilometre-long capital ship, top technology, got fucking obliterated, Ryley only gets interrogated 9 months later, when they have been brought back to Alterra space.

We're at 18 months now.

Now, let's say Alterra goes like 'Huh, interesting planet and cured plague, shut-off gun! Let's investigate!'. The journey back to 4546B takes at least 16 more months if the ship is fast as fuck, so I'm going to push that up to 18 months since a ship loaded with materials and scientific equipment would need to be larger and thus slower. Since the non-realised construction of the phasegate was a multi-trillion credit investment (source: same databank entry as cited above), I'm going to propose that Alterra doesn't care about a small, far-away planet enough to risk bankrupting themselves for another phasegate, no matter how mineral-rich it is on the surface. They're interested in studying any remnants of Kharaa and also claiming the planet symbolically by staying there for an extended period of time and 'setting up base'.

We are at a total of 36 months. Which is three years. Three years and Alterra has just barely arrived at 4546B again.

How did the game arrive at two years??? Even if Ryley were questioned the second they step foot on the rescue ship, and Alterra immediately launches the crew that'll be stationed in Sector Zero, that makes 9+18 months, which is 27! More than two years and the crew has just arrived!

And then the story of Below Zero is also too complex to have taken place in a matter of days, so I would give it at least a few months, maybe like 4, which makes 31. And then Robin will have to undertake that same long journey, although she might not have to start all the way back in Alterra space, but it would take her 5 months at least!! And that's three years again!

The timeline doesn't even add up if a phasegate is constructed. Because let's say that along with the rescue ships, a ship capable of carrying all the materials and equipment necessary of phasegate construction is sent off. It would need to be of a similar calibre to the Aurora and would also take like 21 months to arrive at 4546B. From the same databank entry I've already mentioned like twice, we know that construction (for the Aurora), would take 6 months. So it would take this new ship at least that long, too, for a total of... 27 months! More than two years! Again! And this is also the earliest possible point that the research crew can arrive. So in the end, if we give the events of the story a couple of months, we are at 31 months again, and a couple of months for Robin to arrive, three years!

Now, there is one concern I want to address: the Sunbeam. "If it would take the rescue ships 16 months to arrive at 4546B, how come the Sunbeam arrives pretty early in a playthrough?", you might ask.

And fret not, for I have come up with a solution! We know that the closest phasegate from 4546B is 18 months by Aurora away. However, this says nothing about space-stations without phasegates. Quinn says that they're from a small trans-gov in Andromeda. Now, we don't know where Andromeda is located and what its relation to the Ariadne Arm, which 4546B is situated in, is, but since it's a trans-gov we do know that they own and operate at least one phasegate. It would make sense for that to be the closest, 18 months away from the Ariadne Arm. However, the Sunbeam could have been in the area delivering cargo to a space station without a phasegate.

The Ariadne Arm itself, is supposedly uninhabited, seeing as the databank entry claims the construction of the phasegate will expand inhabited space, but this could be an exaggeration or 4546B might simply not be too far into the uninhabited Ariadne Arm. Or both!

In conclusion, while it is possible to invent a plausbile explanation for the presence of the Sunbeam, there is no plausible explanation for Below Zero being able to take place just two years after Ryley's escape (that I could come up with). The only thing I can think of is that maybe the Mongolians or some other trans-gov built a spacegate in the vicinity, eliminating the 6 months construction time in the phasegate calculation, but this is somewhat of a stretch, since the earliest with that is 25 months. Now this figure would look quite good, but it doesn't account for the fact that the Mongolians wouldn't have built a phasegate right in front of 4546B, because if they had, they would have claimed the planet, and as we can see through the Alterra domination of it, they didn't. So there is inevitably some travel time which adds up to those 25 months. Not to mention that with relatively high likelihood, the new phasegate wouldn't be accessible through the last phasegate before 4546B, since everything we have seen implies that phasegates form tunnels, with two making a pair and having sole access to each other.

In the end, I think my figure of 5 years, 60 months, is much more realistic. It gives ample time for research proceedings and relationship development within the research crew, as we have seen exists. With this calculation, it takes Robin maybe (since she is traveling on a small, lightweight and fast ship) 14 months to get to 4546B, and from Lil asking her kids to send her art, we know that a form of fast-ish digital communication probably exists (although messages are probably inspected and need approval before send-off, meaning the reason we only get Sam's messages on entry to 4546B might be that some simply weren't sent), so she could have left immediately after learning of Sam's death. It taking this much time also explains how calm she is in the game: she's had a lot of time to process.

That brings us up to 50 months, leaving a 10 month window for any research crew bonding. This actually looks rather tight considering Alterra shipped an investigator to 4546B, but said investigator might have left shortly before Robin arrived, so that gives a larger time frame for her.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk! :D

[whatsagirltoblogabout]

I'm at the conspiracy theory stage of my White Collar hyperfixation.

In the Season 3 premiere (3.01 On Guard), Neal's tie is sliced during a fencing match and he's forced to put on a new one at the WC office. He puts the new tie around his neck, but then takes a file out of the rack on his desk and moves it to a different part of the rack before starting to tie his tie. Does he have a mirror or something hidden in his file rack??? Was this established or hinted at somewhere else, either in the series or in behind the scenes content? And if there isn't a mirror, then WHY DID HE DO THAT???

[kuiinncedes]

:P

[the-east-art]

Would shifter Stanley be some flavor of queer? I feel like it would make a lot of sense for him to. Y'know. Not be completely cis. Because I noticed the alternate forms you drew, two looked pretty feminine. .... Or is it just an extra thing he did to hide his identity? (If so, was he uncomfortable with it? Why didn't he just make male bodies? etc)

Oh deffo, drawing some of his shifts as being feminine was intentional on my part. Tbh I don’t know if there’s anyone whose egg /wouldnt/ crack if they were able to shapeshift.

I don’t really see Stan getting preoccupied with labels, he always just sees himself as himself. If pressed he’d probably say like ‘genders a construct kid’ and not really answer.

Ford probably starts to super overthink pronouns while talking to Stan (who frankly doesn’t super care what you call him) and is like ‘he, well, they, well uh, it, um, he?’ And Stans just like ‘don’t hurt yourself, poindexter’

I hope this makes sense! Again while I think Stan probably doesn’t have like a specific connection to any gender after having been many different genders sometimes for months at a time during the 10 year gap, I think he’s always like ‘eh, bigger fish to fry than trying to put a label on it’

[deadghosy]

Platonic slytherin boys with a keeper friend🐍

Ft: Tom Riddle, Mattheo Riddle, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Lorenzo Berkshire

Warning: it may be bad cause I only wrote this for fun and I don’t know "much" about the Slytherin boys 😭 but I only did this cause I’m getting Hogwarts legacy soon for my birthday!

Tom Riddle

You hold ancient magic? He’s using you like the evil bastard he is until he actually feels a connection with you. Maybe protectiveness. He might just still use you though.

Waking you up in the middle of the night in his uniform, towering over you with a dark look as he just kicks your bed. Vibrating it. Making you jolt up disoriented from your woke.

“Get up. I require your presence and help for something. And don’t ask for anything.”

“What the fuck?”

He absolutely loves it when you do your magic spells, he finds them unique and intriguing. You easily doing your blue lightning.

Especially he finds it very easing how you can one shot your enemies and make them disappear into thin air. He’s surely gonna make you his right hand.

Mattheo Riddle

“I want you to strike that bitch right over there.”

“Mattheo no.”

I feel like mattheo would try to make you blast a person he hates to dust just for fun. He is definitely a Kendrick type of hater and he knows it.

He found it secretly hot when you did struck down an enemy that tried to harm you. Mattheo would be that mf that would joke about wanting you to smite him. He also wanted you lift him up and down as if he was flying. He was high when he asked.

“Smite me. Just once.”

“Get the fuck out my room riddle.”

But honestly he likes how powerful you are, and with Mattheo being the son of the dark lord. He deems the two of you a powerful duo and he’s living for it.

Theodore Nott

Idk how to write about this one…but stick with me.

This beautiful Italian man honestly wouldn’t ask a lot of questions and just roll with the fact that you are a keeper of ancient magic. He only would ask one question a month, probably overthinking that he might annoy you with a lot of questions.

“Do you ever wish to have normal magic?” He asked you as he leans against your lap.

You look down, combing his hair with your fingers as you hum. “Eh I guess so. But I was chosen to be a keeper. To have this responsibility to harvest ancient magic.”

He only hummed and closed his eyes. And just like that another question would pop up another month.

Draco Malfoy

“Wait until my bestie hears about this!” “Wait until L/N destroys you!” Is all people hear when they have "crossed" the malfoy boy.

Harry was a victim to this of course, he was slightly scared because of the rumors went around that you held ancient magic. He knew you were practically unstoppable.

So when Harry first met you, he was shocked that you were kind and told him that you weren’t gonna fight him. It was funny to see Draco scold you and drag you away with your arm.

His father might consider you worthy of “courting” his son, but really Draco sees you other than a spouse. And more like a good friend he can count on when times are rough.

Lorenzo Berkshire

Immediately wants you to teach him some of your ancient magic skills if you can.

When he watches you dual with others, he’s taking notes with a smile. Happy to have you as a friend but mostly he has something to do.

He would asks you questions, like random in the night type stuff. The stuff where you’re asleep until he’s shaking you in the crack of dawn just to ask you a simple question.

“When you feel a burst of magic, do you just throw it at enemies like that muggle show called dbz?”

“What?” Straight up you turned to him shocked as you didn’t even expect that from him.

Honestly he just wants to learn more about you, he loves to listen to you. So why not educate him on your magic.

[angelicdanvers]

BREATHE DEEPER | four.

a charlie bushnell x fem!reader social media fic.

y/n

liked by iamcharliebushnell, levizmiller, dior.n.goodjohn, and others

y/n — australia’s my new fav country

tagged | levizmiller

levizmiller i’m challenging you to another round of pool tonight ↳ y/n bet

iamcharliebushnell when’d you go to australia? 😭 ↳ y/n when u didn’t show up for acai bowls >:( ↳ iamcharliebushnell im sowwy ↳ y/n DONT YOU DARE ↳ iamcharliebushnell okok sorry but thought you'd be in london ↳ y/n soon, yeah :')

levizmiller y/n im gonna poke you ↳ y/n okayy hi ↳ levizmiller let’s get boba ↳ y/n YES

dior.n.goodjohn I MISS U COME BACK TO ME ↳ y/n once my australian chronicles are over i promise i will <3 ↳ dior.n.goodjohn WOOOO

walker.scobell youre pretty! ↳ y/n thanks lil dude!

i.am.andrewalvarez AUSSIEEE ↳ y/n THE SWEET ESCAPE FR

aryansimhadri DID YOU SEE KANGAROOS ↳ y/n NO NOT YET THOUGH I HOPE I DO

dailymail Y/n and Levi? ;)

user omg bf reveal happening??

user2 ive never held my breath this much

“GALILEO’S GALS” — 5 notifications!

chanel’s enemy Y/N

lee lee Y/N

dr dre why am i in this gc

chanel’s enemy because u are

lee lee we’re getting off topic Y/NNN CMERE

↳ hiiiii?

chanel’s enemy HIIII HRU ILY

↳ ILY TOO BAE IM GOOD WBU

chanel’s enemy WE GOOD WE HAVE SOME ?’s THO

↳ oh?

lee lee ARE YOU AND LEVI DATING

dr dre OHH THIS MAKES SENSE YEAH ARE YOU??

↳ nooooo

chanel’s enemy that’s a very interesting no

↳ we’re not but idk

chanel’s enemy what

lee lee girl wdym

↳ we’re not dating but i think he likes me? idk

dr dre do you like him back though???

↳ eh he’s very sweet but i’ve always seen him as a best friend, i don’t think we could be more

lee lee do you want to be more??

↳ i mean, i’d give him a chance if he asked? but it’s not anything i’m particularly into or wanting

chanel’s enemy okay that helps

↳ uhhh why

dr dre well if my sleepy ass remembers correctly, everyone and their mother are wondering if you’re dating

↳ nah that aint possible

lee lee it is, stupid dailymail picked up on it first 💀

↳ my manager’s asleep, no wonder she hasn’t updated me lol oh well idgaf they can think what they want

chanel’s enemy but even walker and charlie are 😭

↳ they’re gonna forget it in t-minus four secs it’s fine

dr dre whatever you say, ma’am but are you sure that ‘cryptic’ caption won’t cause any issues??

↳ uhh andrew you’re scaring me

dr dre what if someone likes you? like like-likes you and knows you and gets hella jealous or doubtful? and not saying charlie does but he was raving about how he might finally get to hang out with you, ONE ON ONE. what if he thinks he can't because he thinks you two are dating?

↳ bro first off ik you don’t like me, neither does aryan and i know its DEFINITELY not walker

lee lee girl he had a celeb crush on you a few years ago dont tell him i told u that

chanel’s enemy LMFAOOOO but no andrew has a point how come you didn’t mention charlie? 🤨

dr dre yeah i was just aboutta say 🤨 especially after my little analysis?

↳ SECONDLY, guys, charlie doesn’t. not one bit and that’s obvious, like he isn’t even in considerations. i understand what he may feel but he has nothing to worry about. he knows i won't ditch him or anything lol (right?) but if anything the only person that’d be a little confused or whatnot is william

chanel’s enemy WHAT?? AS IN WILLIAM FRANKLYN MILLER??

lee lee huh 😃

↳ we dated for a month back when we were 15 or so and realized we were way better off as friends

lee lee why ?

↳ idk i think i was just jealous of lily 😭 but anyways we’ve been just friends since and i’m completely happy with that. i don't see him romantically anymore, yeah he’s hot but like nah. but yeah if he was confused, it's probably because i was best friends with levi when we dated too and might question if he was the cause of our split?? AGAIN THATS IF HE OVERTHINKS IT

dr dre i feel like i’m reading an autobiographical analysis you definitely are fond towards “millers”

↳ ur welcome <333 and NO i am not

chanel’s enemy okok so we got several people who’d be jealous

↳ WHAT WDYM SEVERAL I ONLY LISTED ONE

lee lee ain’t no way you’re ignoring charlie

↳ DUDES I REALLY DONT THINK HE LIKES ME

dr dre but there could be a possibility? just don’t rule him out

↳ bro he doesn't like me 😭 but yeah trust me everything’s gonna be okay again i dont like anyone and no one likes me, and we'll make sure it's obvious i'm single in case anyone does though that may take a while... ANYWAYS

lee lee suuuuure you should hang out with charlie btw

↳ idk why but im scared to 😭

lee lee but you need to he misses you a lot yk

↳ doesn’t change the fact that im SCARED

lee lee WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED ITS JUST CHARLIE

↳ IDK I JUST DONT WANNA SEEM STUPID OR UNATTRACTIVE AND SHIT

lee lee HE FLIRTS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME AND MESSES UP JUST AS MUCH, YOURE NOT THE EMBARRASSING ONE HERE

↳ DUDE I KNOW I CAN BE AND I DONT WANNA DRIVE HIM AWAY

dr dre sure you and levi hang out and are sweet and shit but BRO the teeth rotting sugar is you and charlie in your damn COMMENTS

↳ ITS NOT THAT BAD, IS IT?? 😭 GOD I HOPE CHARLIE DOESNT THINK OF ME ANY DIFFERENTLY

chanel’s enemy i think u like charlie, miss girl

↳ NO

dr dre nah, they’d be cute together, even charlie said so himself

chanel’s enemy you dumbass

dr dre uhhh ANYWAYS said too much im gonna sleep again love youse

lee lee BRO yeah night babes <3

chanel’s enemy LOVE U BAE GN

↳ what the duck STUPID AUTOCORRECT WHAT THE FUCK AINT NO WAY YALL JUST DIPPED fine ily guys too </3 BUT DONT THINK IM LETTING THAT GO EASILY ugh what do you guys mean 😭 aint no way thats true OKOK YK WHAT BYE!! FOR REAL THIS TIME

— taglist.

@shokocoded @istillremberthefirstfallofsnow @surftrips @svtsimp22 @gcidrvsh @idontevencare1223 @thames-fig @captainshischier @reggieslifeboat @multifandom-loser @wheelerslover @mermaid-mqtel @randomnpc456 @kaithoughs @isab3lita @mariposa555 @sunshinessky @myr-cheri @thedeadlynights @ella33 @c1nn4mng1rl @poppysrin @breadbrobin @lucy-the-ant @jules-loves-lukecastellan @taloulalila @tom-pls-fuck-me @mia-luvs @iknowyoureabigfan @rinisfruity14 @chasebeth @auttumnsayshi @prettygirlformula @alwayswndr @balletfilmss @kestisvrse @1forthemoney2forthekish @eissaaaa @emelia07 @toffytaste @soulaires @bearwon @happy-mushrooms @simrah1012 @blimp-blimp @obxstiles @yuminako @hopexcroc @mackycat11 @knowugetdejavu @0puddleofgender0

thank you so much for all your love and support, it really means the world to me. y/n's beginning to find out certain things, wonder where things will go from here 🤔

as always, i will continue updating the taglist :)

i love you and am so proud of you, stay safe and drink water <3

[exquisitesimp]

Comforting Akutagawa during a mental breakdown

A/N: Hello to everyone reading this! I’m back at it again with Bungo Stray Dogs, more particularly the Port Mafia. In this story, the reader (F) is giving comfort and affection to her emotionally damaged boyfriend Akutagawa, after an unfortunate encounter with his old mentor figure (aku was my first love in bsd). Thank you so much for reading and interacting with my posts, it means so much to me! Stay healthy, eat well and drink plenty of water! - Sam

Tags: Bungo Stray Dogs, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, angst, reverse comfort, SFW

Warnings: mental breakdown, emotional and physical abuse, NSSI

Word Count: approx. 4.8k

It was one of these nights again; these difficult, heart-wrenching nights that constantly made you question the meaning of such a life, a life filled with pain and suffering. You’ve become a little too familiar with this feeling since you’ve experienced, well… a little too many nights like these. 

“Remember what you’re doing all this for!” you exclaimed. 

Except there was nobody there to listen, save for the librarian that was sick of having you be the last one to leave the library in the dark hours of the early morning for the fifth time this week. Talking to the void, maybe all that studying did drive you insane after all. 

“You scared the life out of me, for the love of god!”, the lady gasped, jumping awake from the information desk. Poor her, she probably hated these nights even more than you did.

“I’m terribly sorry”, you said, chuckling in awful embarrassment.

She gave you a cold stare, which truthfully saddened you deep down, because you were under the false impression that you had bonded with the woman by now.

“Don’t look at me like that ma’am”, you said, “You know med school isn’t a piece of cake…”

“I know dear”, she responded with a certain sweetness in her voice and a tired sigh, “but isn’t it time to go home soon?”

You looked at the clock above the information desk. It read 2:45. A look of desperation channeled itself on your face as you were thinking about just how much more work you had ahead of you before you could allow yourself to go home and finally get some shuteye. 

“Just one more unit, I promise!” you lied, knowing damn well that it was much, much more than that.

“Pfftt….Like we haven’t heard that before…” the librarian mumbled as she began moving around all sorts of books and paper sheets around the information desk.

Of all the times during the day she could get that taken care of, she had to do it right now? The noise she made was getting on your nerves and messed with your focus. However, you knew she was going to kick you out for sure if you dared complain about it. So you just decided to let it go, for your own good perhaps…

Resting your head which had grown quite heavy and dizzy on top of the open books, you sighed in exhaustion, waiting for the woman to stop messing with the papers and your concentration along with them. Wondering how the hell you were supposed to pass all these exams the following week, you were just sitting there, beating yourself up for always leaving things for the last possible moment. But not even a minute later, your phone, which was laying on the table, suddenly buzzed and stopped your overthinking. 

It was a voice message from your boyfriend, a little smile subtly forming on your face upon seeing the notification. You’ve been together for almost a year, but the habit of smiling at his texts hasn't faded away whatsoever.

“Ma’am, can I pleeaase use my phone?”, you joked, since there was obviously nobody there to be disturbed by mobile phone usage… except for the poor lady of course. “It’s my sweetheart!”

A few moments of deadly silence followed. From the look on her face, you’d think she was finally done with your smart-ass idiocy. 

“Eh, to hell with it…” she responded, having accepted — to your grand surprise — that she’d have you here for quite a while once again.

“God bless your patience! I shall treat you to a huge meal once these detestable exams are over!”, you proclaimed in comedic exaggeration, yet genuinely wanting to express your gratitude to her in some sort of way. With your late-night hypertension and your endearingly annoying sense of humor, you could imagine that having you study here all these days must have been quite a handful. 

“Who said I wanted to have a meal with you?”, she shrugged and rolled her eyes. 

Purposefully ignoring her rhetorical question with a smile on your face, you opened the message and placed your phone next to your head with the speaker facing your ear, the woman sighing at your shenanigan in the background. 

“Hey, Y/N…” 

You didn’t expect to hear Gin’s voice. 

“Listen… I found my brother’s phone in a dark alley on the ground, and it’s all cracked up now, and I’m not quite sure what happened... He was still supposed to be here, but I assume there was some big trouble and he had to flee. Problem is— TACHIHARA CAN YOU JUST SHUT THE F— sorry about that… problem is I contacted our headquarters and he’s not there” 

Your eyes opened wide as the message kept on playing. Two opposing forces fighting in your brain; one worrying that something terrible has happened to him, the other trying to remain cool-headed since you didn’t know any crucial details about the situation.

“My guess would be that he’s at your place. I know you have a lot of work to do in the library, but please check if everything’s okay with him. Gotta go, the Armed Detective Agency is just around the corner”

You heard the words “Armed Detective Agency” and you instantly knew what this was about. 

“Oh fuck” you said out loud and stood up from your desk as if struck by some invisible thunder.

“What is it this time?”, the librarian desperately asked.

“It’s your lucky day”, you replied, packing up your bag in quick, messy movements, “I’ve got to go right now”

“Good grace”, she mumbled as she started switching off the lights to finally close the place down for the night.

“Thanks for everything!”, you shouted hurriedly, storming out of the university library and rushing to the parking lot.

You jumped in your car and immediately started the engine. You already knew by now that no encounter with the Agency could possibly be any good for Akutagawa. And this time, you had a strong feeling that something was very, very wrong.

In less than half the time it would usually take, you sloppily drove back to your apartment, very lucky that you hadn’t crushed the car onto anything on the way there. Running with light steps and pushing through your own fatigue, you finally reached the door and knocked on it.

“Sweetie?”, you called out softly. 

There was complete silence on the other side, a type of silence that grew an unshakeable fear within you. After taking a deep breath, you reached for the keys in the pocket of your jacket and slowly opened the door.

You took a good look at the living room before entering, and everything was exactly the way you left it, including the little lamp you always kept switched on even when nobody was home. From where you were standing, nothing seemed wrong with the kitchen either. At first glance it all looked perfectly normal, but there was something very intuitively suspicious about this quietness that consumed the entire place. 

Due to your intensive studying at the library the past few days, you ended up coming home at times like these almost every day, and you found the emptiness to be serene, and even comforting in its own way. But now it was frantically maddening, as if you’d be crazy to assume someone else was here, but equally as insane to think that you were totally alone.

You gulped as you took a few steps in and closed the door behind you, cold shivers running down your body. Only while taking off your own shoes did you look down to check if his were there, and much to your relief, they were just beside the door. You immediately felt a weight fall off your shoulders, knowing now that nobody had broken in or that you weren’t… imagining things.

You quietly made your way right in front of the shut door of your bedroom, and since you already passed by the empty bathroom, you knew that was the only place where he could possibly be. Just by standing there you felt a dark chilly aura strike you down to the bone. 

Knowing about his occupation and even his abusive past, you were already aware that Akutagawa was very much capable of becoming violent. But this wasn’t the first time he went through a crisis like this with you, so you had faith that if you stood there for him once again, it would all work out, just like the previous times.

You plucked up all the courage you had inside you and knocked on the door. 

“Sweetie?”, you repeated. “Are you alright?”  

Once again, no answer. At this point you started getting worried. That was the only place he could be, right? Then why was he not responding?

Making the tiniest amount of sound possible, you pushed the door open ever so slightly to peek through the crack, and that’s when you saw something you’ve never witnessed before.

Although the light switch was on, the room was pitch black with only a few strands of light somehow making their way through. Sinister branches of darkness were spread all over, some intertwined with one another in an infernal veil, and others ruthlessly piercing the entirety of the space like enormous, sharp blades. 

You were completely astounded. You had no idea that Rashoumon could take on such a petrifying form.

Before you could even begin to grasp the density and the complexity of what your eyes just viewed, the door was somehow explosively shut inches away from your face, causing you to gasp at the thunderous noise.

“HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE DOOR?”, Akutagawa yelled, his strung out voice echoing within his ability’s construction. 

“I’m sorry sweetie”, you responded peacefully, “I just wanted to check if you’re okay…”

“What does this look like to you?” he asked sarcastically, while Rashoumon locked the door from the inside, eliminating any possibility that he’d just let you in that easily.

“What I meant is, are you physically okay? Did you get hurt?”, you asked, trying to maintain your calm composure.

“I’m intact”, he answered as if even such a small question was so immensely bothersome to him at that moment, “now LEAVE. ME. ALONE!”

“How am I supposed to leave you alone in a state like this?”

He didn’t respond, but it’s not like you expected him to. Hurt and afraid, he always hid inside his hard shell at times like this, and it took a lot of strength and effort to get him to open up to you. You took a big breath, because the difficult part was just starting. 

“Your sister found your phone somewhere in the city and contacted me…”, you began.

“I don’t wanna talk about this…” he growled as rage kept building up within him.

“I know it’s difficult to talk right no—“

“THEN CUT IT OUT”, he screamed with a trembling voice and paused for a second, “before I break the door…”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now, but please just listen”.

You paused for a while to see what his reaction would be. Although he was once again mute, you were quite happy that you didn’t get smashed by the door; it meant he was waiting for you to speak.

“I know you’re not feeling well right now, and I just want to let you know that it’s totally okay to feel this way, even though I don’t know what exactly happened… I just wanted to tell you…”.

Another silence-filled pause ensured you that he was still listening.

“You did the right thing to come here, sweetie… The fact that you’re here right now means that even if you want me to leave you alone this instant, some part of you wants to find comfort here… And that’s exactly what I want to do for you right now. I just want to make it better, I promise. Please, Aku…Let me help you…” 

No response.

“I’ll be waiting right behind the door for as long as you need. Please don’t break me along with it, or better yet, let me in whenever you feel like…”

It wasn’t much later that you heard the door finally unlock behind you, so you stood up, carefully opened it, and saw that your previously unimaginably ominous room was now just the way you remembered it.

Akutagawa was sitting on the floor in the corner across the room, curled up so he could take up as little space as possible. He had wrapped his arms around his knees and held them closely against his chest. His cloak was thrown over his shoulders, covering most of his upper body and his head was buried on his forearms.

You quietly approached him and sat next to him to keep him at ease. All these months in a relationship with him taught you that at times like these, he felt threatened by people sitting right opposite him, and didn't respond to them so well. He also deeply despised being looked at when he’s in such a vulnerable state, so you respected his wishes and looked at the floor, avoiding his eyes at all costs.

“Take your time, sweetie. I’m here to listen”, you said after a minute or two. 

He took a big breath before lifting his head up, while you made sure to make him feel as comfortable as you could, based on his own individual terms.

“The Command Unit was sent to the center of Yokohama to investigate some strange movements in the black market… and there, I ran into that stupid weretiger...”

“Mhm hm”, you nodded as you kept listening carefully.

“We started a fight and I had cornered him in this alley… that was all until he showed up…”

“Dazai?”, you asked, just to make sure your assumptions were correct.

“Yes…” , he answered as his voice got weaker. “He nullified my ability and told the weretiger to leave, so it was just the two of us…”

You noticed it was getting harder and harder for him to speak as the conversation shifted towards Dazai. It was no surprise since he’d talked to you about him before but it was, nonetheless, upsetting to hear.

“No…”, you said, “and what did he do?”

“Well, he…”, Akutagawa said and then paused as if to collect himself, “he kicked me right below the chest and I was on the ground coughing…”

He took a breath, before proceeding to give you the rest of the story.

“And he said some things… something about the weretiger being better than me… but I’ve heard that before…”

“Aw sweetie—“

“He knows…”, he said, burying his head on his knees once again. “He found out about my disease somehow…”

When you heard him quietly weep, you moved a little closer to him, just enough so that he didn’t feel alone in this difficult, doleful moment. Before you could even begin to ask how Dazai managed to find that out, Akutagawa jumped into your arms and buried his head on your shoulder, letting his black cloak fall off his frail body.

As he did that, you didn’t fail to notice that his white shirt had bloody stains on each sleeve, a little bit above the length of the elbow. Both sides had five holes each, one for each of his own fingers that had been digging into his skin, scratching and ripping it apart.

You were so upset, but you realized that it would be no good to address it right now. So instead, you wrapped him up in the warm embrace that he desperately needed at the time.

“That lung disease you have is going to kill you soon… Maybe then, I’ll consider coming back to the Port Mafia… Such a shame that… even when you leave your last pathetic breath… there won’t have been a single moment… when you were better than my new apprentice…” 

“That’s what he said to me…”, he uttered, sobbing in between these nasty, horrible phrases. 

Your eyes started watering as you squeezed him tighter against you. It was beyond you how anybody could be so viciously cruel to someone so loyal and devoted, even if fate brought it so that they parted ways.

“That’s so hurtful…”, you whispered as tears were running down your cheeks. “It’s okay… Let it all out, I’m right here…”

“Why? Just why?!”, he cried in anguish, “How much more must I do? When will all this be over? When will I ever be enough?!”

You didn’t know how to respond to such questions at times like these, so you just let him lash out until he hopefully calmed down eventually. 

“What am I saying? That’s never gonna happen…”, he lamented as his body started shivering, “I’m so sorry, Y/N… I’m a worthless and pathetic fool…”

“That’s not true…please stop saying things like that…”, you pleaded.

“I’m just gonna die so pointlessly… And it won’t even matter to him…”

“Well it’s gonna matter to me!”, you raised the tone of your voice, verklempt and teary-eyed.

His chest kept pumping against yours as he was struggling for breath. 

“I’m so sorry my love…”, you apologized, fearing that all you just did was worsen his situation by letting your own emotions take over. He tried to say something, but in this state, coherent words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

You had to stay strong and help him during this difficult time. Right now, the situation wasn't about you.

“Listen to me, let’s take some deep breaths okay? Breathe in till four, hold till four, and breathe out till six. Can you do that for me?”

You felt him nodding yes, lifting his head up and letting his chin rest on your shoulder. 

“Perfect, I’ll count: 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…”

Akutagawa tried to follow your count as much as he could. You had to do this exercise about fifteen times before his breathing took its normal pace back. Your hand was always gently caressing the back of his head, and with every round you completed, you made sure that he knew he was doing a good job. 

“I’m so proud of you”, you murmured and kissed his temple, “are you feeling any better now?”.

He nodded yes and sniffed his nose.

“Can I look at you?”, you asked.

He sighed, then nodded yes once again. Once he let go, you gently cupped his face and lifted his head up so you could look at him. His poor, restless eyes were ever so red and puffy from all the tears he’d been shedding.

“My sweet Aku…”, you whispered, “if only there was something I could do to take your suffering away… I can only imagine how terrible it feels to be treated so horribly by someone you look up to so much, to always feel like you’re the second option…”

You paused to take a big breath and collect yourself. 

“And I know it’s not the same to hear it from me… but you’re always going to be my first choice… always…” 

A sad, bitter smile morphed into your boyfriend’s face upon hearing these words, as if they were half-empty, not coming from a certain someone he’d want to hear them from instead.

“I’ll always be here for you… You’re my everything, my love… I love you more than anyone and anything in this world… And seeing you suffer like this… it crushes me…”

Akutagawa sat there in silence, guiltful and grey, shifting his gaze to the cold, hard floor. 

“Especially this…” you said with a cracking voice, and looked at the red stains on his sleeves, “this just… it breaks my heart…”

His withering eyes were filling up with tears again. 

“Promise me you won’t do it again…please…”, you begged.

“I promise…I’m so sorry…”

“Don’t be sorry sweetie, none of this makes you weak in my eyes…. You’re so strong… so much more than you think…”

You looked at him sweetly before pulling him closer to give him a soft kiss on the mouth, his lips passive, almost motionless against yours.

“Now go have a warm shower, you need to relax”, you said, getting up from the floor and offering him a helping hand to stand up as well. “Make sure that a lot of water runs over your wounds. I’ll take care of them once you’re done, okay?”

“Okay”, he answered, giving you his hand, letting you pull him up and still hold him all the way to the bathroom. 

“Thank you so much, Y/N… really…” 

“Don’t mention it”, you responded lovingly.

As he shut the door behind him, you immediately got this morbid feeling, this insurmountable urge to break down and cry. 

You loved him with all your heart, but in comparison to even the tiniest praise from Dazai, your love for Akutagawa didn’t matter nearly as much to him. And that thought pained you so much, it cut deeper than a knife… In a way, you could even say you understood him, knowing that your one and only was gonna leave you soon, and that you’ll always come second, till the last moment… till his last moment, his very last breath…

It was all so devastating… But as you pushed the tears back, you remembered the promise that you made to yourself when you first got into a relationship with him; no matter how hard things got, you were gonna love this person as much as you could, for as long as you could… Until the very end, you had to be his pillar of strength and continue cherishing him no matter how much it hurt you in the process. 

And you loved him so much, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“Hey Gin”, you spoke to your phone as you recorded a voice message for her, “I found him, he was at my place. He’s okay, he has a few surface wounds on his arms, most probably nothing to worry about. You can let your boss and the others know that he’s safe and that he’ll stay here for the next couple of hours… And, by the way, thank you for contacting me as soon as you found his phone….Things might’ve been worse, had it not been for you… Call me if you need anything”

As you hit “send”, Akutagawa walked out of the bathroom, wearing an oversized white t-shirt and plaid black and white pajama bottoms, with the towel he used to dry his hair thrown around his neck.

“Feeling more comfortable now?” you asked. 

“Yeah”, he responded.

“Good. Now come here, let me see your arms…”

He made his way next to you, letting you investigate his wounds.

“Hmm…”, you said, lost in thought, “they’re not as deep, so you’re not gonna need any stitches… but they do look a bit inflamed… we definitely need to disinfect these”

You took him by the hand back in the bathroom again, where you kept your medical kit. You grabbed the disinfectant bottle and lathered some liquid over a big piece of sterile cotton. 

“I gotta warn you sweetie, this might burn a little…”

“Yeah, like I haven’t had worse– OWW!!”, he exclaimed as you pressed it against his wounds.

“I’m sorry, perhaps I wouldn’t have to do this if you hadn’t used your own hands. You were out fighting, who knows how many germs they had…”

“It burns…”, he hissed, clenching his jaw.

“Warned you…”, you responded. “You’ve never used disinfectant before?”

“Do you really think people in the mafia care to use this sh– AUGHH!”, he snarled once again as you repeated the same treatment to his other arm. 

“We’re almost done now…” you reassured him as he gave you the most displeased, irritated stare.

“Hmm let’s see…” you mumbled to yourself while searching the contents of your kit, “I don’t have big enough band-aids for this… guess we’ll have to cover them with something else…”

You opened up two bandages, and with a little hesitation, Akutagawa let you wrap them around his arms tightly.

“All patched up!” you said, giving his boney shoulders a light squeeze, “Is there anything I can make for you? Anything to eat? Some tea maybe?”

“No, I think I’m gonna throw up if I do…”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want that… Okay then, I think we should go to bed and get some rest, no?”

“Yeah…”

After you changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth, you made your way into the fluffy futon and scooched over for Akutagawa to join you shortly after. While he is generally the quiet type, this time you could tell that he was way too tired even for the short-lived, yet endearing small talk before bed. 

“My eyes hurt…” Akutagawa murmured as he slid next to you.

“I know, sweetie…Come here…”, you said, lifting up the cover and inviting him close to you.

Your boyfriend found his way into your arms again, his tired head buried in your chest and his thinned body clinging onto yours, the entirety of his being searching for warmth within your embrace. The comforting motions of your hands caressing his back and the sound of your heartbeat was everything he could ask for at the time.

“Feels like you’ve lost more weight…”, you pointed out as you grazed your fingers over the prominent parts of his skeleton, “Have you been eating well lately?”

“Mm-mm”, he shook his head no after a short pause, as if to adjust his thinking to your own standards of self-preservation. To him, if he made it out alive at the end, what was there to care for?

“Well that’s no good…I’m making you fluffy pancakes and your favorite tea in the morning”, you said knowing that, being starved of affection almost his entire life, he found these simple acts of kindness to be a huge deal. His contentment was clear as day, flowing through you as he pulled himself closer, practically sealing shut whatever space there was between the two of you.

“Thank you…”, he purred against your chest, the mere sweetness of his adorable reaction leading you to plant gentle kisses on the top of his head.

“Anything for you sweetie… I just want you to take care of yourself. Undereating can’t do any good to your condition… And I want to keep you around as much as possible, make as many happy memories together as we can…Like that time when you took me to dinner with the mafia for the first time and Higuchi kept warning me not to hurt your feelings or ‘I’ll be dead’...”

“Tsk, that piss-off…” he mumbled in a mix of displeasure and nostalgia, getting annoyed just by remembering the event, but being strangely happy that he got to experience it with you. 

“It made me very happy that you apologized to her…”

“After you told me I was acting just like him, I had no choice…”

“And I’m so proud of you for that, sweetie…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair

“I still remember when we had Gin and Chuuya over for my birthday and we played that drinking game he had suggested. I’m pretty sure at some point he stopped caring about the rules and started losing on purpose…Ah, what an iconic day…Oh, and that day when I first told you that I loved you…Hahah, you were so awkward whenever I told you that on the phone. It took you a couple of weeks before you were brave enough to say it back to me... But it’s okay, I’m not blaming you, it’s most wise to wait for the time when you are a hundred percent sure that you feel the same way for me… Hey, what about the day of our first date–”

You’d been talking for quite a while now, vocally walking down memory lane, too absent-minded to notice that Akutagawa was fast asleep by then. Your melancholic monologue got softly interrupted by his faint, quiet snores. 

“Aww of course. I almost forgot how easily you fall asleep whenever I start rambling like this…”

You slid your hands under his shirt and felt the soft skin on his back. His hold on you was more relaxed, but far from apathetic, as if what remained of his slowly melting tension was love, and only love. 

You smiled, feeling infinitely blessed that your boyfriend was there with you, that you were listening to his slow breathing as he was drifting somewhere far away. Your eyelids had been feeling heavy for a while, but before you joined him, you wanted to get some things off your chest; somethings you truly wanted Akutagawa to know, even though you knew that he wouldn’t hear much of it in his sleep.

“Aku, my sweetheart… You are worth so much more than you think. You are enough— no, you’re even more than that… And I wish I had the means to show you just how much you mean to me… Oh, if only I could make you feel even half of my love…”

A/N: Akutagawa cried again in the middle of the night, but didn’t want to bother Y/N with his feelings any further. He removed the bandages because anything that reminded him of Dazai, he couldn’t have on his body. After Y/N found out, she apologised for her ignorance and made him the most delicious fluffy pancakes.

[certaintrashruins]

I want to talk about something that i think should be adressed more often, and thats how badly the ninja world treats basic human emotions. My prime exemples are Kakashi and Kakuzu, because they are the ones i overthink the most.

But in this pont i want to rant a bit about Kakashi.

Now, i don't like him as a "person"/charakter, but i like his writing.

Now, we all know the basics. His father offed himself, mother not mentioned (have my headcanons), teammates died, just a trauma fest.

What angers me is that he was NEVER GIVEN TIME TO HEAL.

Oh, poor kid, your teammates died? Join the ANBU today!🎉 How about you go guard the hokage's wife?

Oh, eh, eyy... So that didn't work out and you are probably even more traumatised.. Well let's go be a teacher! 🎉

And in writing, i LOVE that he "failed" as a teacher, with all of his students learning from diffrent people. Because HOW was he ever supposed to be a good teacher? He was a good person to them, and tought them how important sticking togedher is, wich is already impressive.

But Kakashi was NOT healed enough to handle students. Like, the active role of a teacher. He did his best to protect students (failing them for petty reasons), wich i think is a great touch in writing.

And than they throw the hokage title at him, wich, while is incredibly impressively funny that someone with depression and an implied porn addiction is able to be a great leader, is mentally messy.

For me, i always liked him the best with Gai. It felt like those scenes were more the real him, and not who he is expected to be.

I love the similarities to Sasuke, to i wish that was explored more.

Sorry for any spelling mistakes, i am not english, and just ranting

[xjackjackx]

Alan Becker Analysis: Hazard's Mysteries (Or Maybe I'm Overthinking???)

Ok so unlike this last post about Victim and Glasses Guy / "Agent", this isn't really me bringing anything solid onto the table (well besides one or two things). This is just me overanalysing random shit that frankly is likely irrelevant.

Anyways this post is about Bathroom Sign Guy aka Hazard aka Warning aka Sign, the gray pictogram mercenary from Animator vs. Animation VI, and why he might have a deeper role (prob doesn't).

Part 1 - The Overthinking of Minor Details

Ok this is the part where I'm 100% convinced I'm just talking stupid shit due to rewatching the episodes too many times, but eh.

Let's start off with something... relatively normal actually, which I saw pointed out by others. When Chosen attacks the mers with lightning, Hazard has this shit happen to him:

This is... frankly weird and idk what it means. When Wanted first came out, this and his movement made me think Hazard was a robot, but since then I started believing he's just a normal stick figure like the others. Besides, this whole series is on a computer so everyone besides the Animator is an AI lol.

So if he's not a robot, perhaps Hazard is connected to technology, and thus taking away the ship's energy took away his? That's the only other thing I can think of.

The second one was actually told to me by a friend, and tbh even in this whole post this might be the biggest stretch, but I still think this is worth bringing up. When Orange and Chosen return to the Outernet, Hazard is seen looking... somewhere.

(btw agent looks so stupid here lmfao)

The most likely answer is that he is simply looking around, like Agent and Primal - the cave drawing - are seen doing like immediately afterwards. But my friend did point out that it could easily look like Hazard is looking up - in which case, he could've possibly noticed Chosen and Orange, and then chose to not tell the other mercenaries until Agent notices them and thus forces Haz to intervene. Likely just huge overthinking of a one-off scene, but still.

The last one from Wanted is this shot of the Mercenaries in the elevator.

In this scene, Hazard briefly looks at Ballista - the pixel gremlin - and then proceeds to look away when the little guy stares back at him. Is it most likely them just finding the awkward elevator silence uncomfortable? Probably yea, but it could also be a sign of Hazard and Ballista having a rocky relationship - we see Ballista is pretty aggressive, so maybe Hazard is nervous around such a batshit crazy dude?

In "The Box", the first Hazard scene worth talking about is the first of his reactions to Victim's torture of Chosen.

We know he is a mercenary and a villain, so it should be expected that he's a cruel bastard, but still, falling asleep while watching torture is just another level. What kind of shit did Hazard see, or do himself, that he finds Victim's actions purely boring?

...and yet, just a few moments more later, Hazard has an actual reaction to Victim pulling out a lasso.

Now, the three dots - and thus, Hazard's silence of a reaction - could mean anything. Maybe he's still bored, just awake now. Maybe he's curious to see what will happen. Maybe he has actual standards. But it's still interesting to see that Victim's lasso got a reaction out of Hazard (meanwhile Ballista just crosses his arms, prob in curiosity or impatience, while Primal stays completely still - I'll get to their personalities later).

Similarly, Victim ordering Agent to clone him also gets a small reaction out of Hazard, his head jumping a little (I don't know how else to call it).

This time, it's definitely just shock/curiosity/surprise that Vic is doing something new, and/or that the Box lets you clone people, but still worth pointing out.

A long time later, we finally get something worthy of note from Hazard, that I actually find interesting. While the other mercs are too busy looking through Chosen's memories, Hazard notices Orange returning.

I feel like this was actually an intentional choice. Like, why make all the mercs focused on Chosen's memories, excluding only one of them - and it's not even the most important mercenary that's the big bad's right hand? Also, why is Hazard so far away from the other mercenaries? While I consider this whole section of the post just major overthinking, this one moment specifically is actually pretty sus to me.

Now, to close off this section, there is Haz's reaction to Super Orange.

Mainly, how he and Victim are the only ones who are inarguably scared/panicking. Primal just leans in like "de fuk", Ballista flinches once and then watches in silence, while Agent double checks on both the small and large monitor. Primal and Agent are confused, Ballista is shocked(? idk how to call it), but Hazard and Vic are the only ones with a true "OH SHIT" reaction. What this means? Idk, again this whole section is just overthinking things.

Thankfully we can leave the part where I talk meaningless shit and get into the parts that hopefully actually have a point.

Part 2 - Hazard and His (Lack of) Personality

Another part I noticed since Wanted first dropped (part of the reason why I first thought Haz was a robot) was that, compared to the other mercs, he has so little personality... which might be intentional.

I mean, Agent. He also doesn't showcase a lot of himself, but we still see that he's cool, calm, loyal to Victim, kind of a taunting asshole who plays with his victims instead of instantly getting serious, and despite it all, not unbreakable - He panicked when Chosen attacked him with the iceberg, and he was caught off-guard by Super Orange like everyone else.

Ballista probably has the most personality out of everyone. His body language shows emotion pretty much all the time: most specifically, anger. Whether it's his fighting style, his pose, or walk cycle, Ballista is pissed off 24/7. It's implied it even makes his co-workers nervous. At the same time, the grin he flashes when jumping off the ship in Wanted shows he enjoys his job.

Primal is second only to Hazard in lack of personality, but there's definitely still something there. Mainly, is that he's a very fight-focused person that is basically an empty shell outside it. He's so ready to fuck up a rhino in Wanted, and sharpens his spear for another hunt while bored, but outside of fighting Orange?... he's pretty dull. Only a bit more emotional than Hazard. He seems like a Kraven-type character who just wants to hunt the biggest prey possible, while having zero life outside it. Also he has a Hulk-style form which reduces him to an animal sapience-wise.

Hazard, though? He uhh... he wants to get Chosen, is very focused on completing the job, and that's kinda it. He's such a blank it feels intentional. Perhaps he has his own goals and is hiding them?

Part 3 - He's Either Holding Back or He's Fucking Useless

Yea not gonna sugarcoat this. There has to be some sort of big reveal of Hazard's true power in later episodes, or this dude's so weak it's laughable to think he's supposed to be a threat.

I mean, Agent has a toolbar that makes him a Mini-Animator, and he can pause anything and anyone. Ballista can shapeshift his body and pull weapons out of his ass. Primal has a stronger form that can pick up a rhino without difficulty, and he probably has more.

Hazard?

He, uh... is good at dodging. He also has this one Shock Sign that killed a bird. Yeah.

Ngl if this is all Hazard has then it's impossible for me to see him as a threat on par with the other mercs, or even Victim. Hell, I wouldn't even be able to see him as above the Stick Gang in strength, with how slow Orange was in that scene compared to his fights in the AvM Shorts.

So yeah, on top of possibly hiding his true personality/hidden motives, Hazard was most likely holding back heavily in Wanted, which only makes him more mysterious.

Part 4 - The End

So, this is kinda it. Was Part 1 all overthinking, or did I get a few things right? Is Hazard actually hiding something, or does he only show little personality because none of his scenes let him show off anything? Is he holding back his true strength, or is he actually weak?

Frankly idk, but I am excited to see where things go with this guy, as he has tons of potential.

[obae-me]

i have a suggestion!

obey me brothers reacting to "would you still love me if I was worm?"

The age old question. I'd be glad to do some little headcanons for you! These should be cute!

Lucifer

What kind of question is that?...

He's going to take it way too literally. He can't help it, he's an overthinker. "Why would you be a worm? Is it due to a curse? Then I would simply break the curse for you."

He can't quite seem to wrap his head around the scenario. Because...you are simply not a worm. Yes, he loves you, and if you were unfortunately turned into such a little creature, he would do anything in his power to turn you back.

If somehow, in some other timeline, you were once and always a worm, why would he fall in love with you then? How does one go about loving a worm?

Please help him, he's so confused.

Eventually, even if he doesn't quite get it, he'll go the gentlemanly route. "No matter what form you happen to take, I will always love you."

Mammon

Eh? Why are you asking him such gushy things? But...yeah...obviously.

"I could fit ya around in my pocket then! Do you think worms would be good at stealing stuff? Eh, probably not, you'd be smaller than a Grimm. And I would hate to see ya get smushed."

He doesn't overthink it, which this time around is the right answer. Good boy, Mammon!

Of course, as much as he would continue to love you as a worm, boy, does he sure love you just as you are now.

"Just don't go plannin' on getting turned into a worm anytime soon, please. I'd have to bail ya out, and that can be costly. I'd never let you leave my side again."

Levi

Aha! He knows this one! He's been on the internet, he knows what this question is all about!

So, of course, he can say with mild confidence, that he would! "Always! No matter what shape you take, I'll always l-l-lo-love you!" Perfect! Said just like a cheesy anime line. "Just...stay away from Henry 2.0 if you become a worm, okay?"

Maybe he could keep you on his desk, so you could watch him play games and share shows together...wait...do worms even have eyes?

They don't?! Then that would be sad...but he won't go back on his answer!

But seriously, his heart probably couldn't take it if you were a worm forever. Satan might be more of a fan of those sad-ending stories, but he's not!

Satan

What a curious question...

If you were a cat, he'd obviously still love you. "Out of all the world's creatures, why a worm? Is there something about them I don't know about? No? Why don't you turn into a little kitty instead?"

He doesn't fully get the question. You'll have to explain to him that it's not about turning into a worm, but if you would still be taken care of!

Well, if that's all it's about, of course he would still care for you. Just don't eat his books please if you happen to become a bookworm.

"If you're oh-so-curious, I could probably find a spell to turn you into a worm right now."

He's just joking, but he did enjoy the look of mild panic on your face.

Asmo

Of course he would!

Surprisingly enough, he answered that easily, and maybe not quite the answer you expected. "I could keep you in the garden! Oh, or maybe not, what if you got eaten?! Oh, I know! I'd get a little plant for my room and keep you there!"

He simply knows he would find you adorable no matter what!

He doesn't really know what a worm needs, but he would be willing to learn.

He'd get a special fancy plant mister and make sure even as a worm that you'd be moisturized and hydrated! Maybe he'd even make a special Devilgram for you!

"Aw, but then I wouldn't be able to kiss your cute face! Try not to become a worm if you could help it, m'kay?"

Beel

A worm?

He'd be sad if that happened and you couldn't return to normal... "Do worms eat a lot? They do? So you wouldn't go hungry? Good. Could I feed you leftovers?"

Of course he would love you no matter what you were. And he promises that he wouldn't eat you.

Don't ask why he would potentially eat a worm in the first place.

Just thinking about it all makes him seem to love you more while you remain not a worm.

He's got to make sure he can hug you and eat plenty of meals with you while you're still human.

Belphie

You're such a weirdo...but sure, why not?

That's what you want to hear, right? "I bet it would be peaceful under all that dirt. Like a huge blanket. Oh...but then I wouldn't be able to sleep with you anymore. Then no, I take it back, I wouldn't love you if you were a worm."

Brat.

He acts like he falls asleep right after his answer, but really, he's thinking about it further.

Worms are pretty low maintenance, right? He'd just have to make sure no one ate you or crushed you...maybe too much work then.

"If you were a worm, maybe I'd just find a way to be a worm too. Then I wouldn't have Lucifer bother me so much. Then we could just be lazy worms together."

A surprisingly sweet outcome.

[yourlocalracoon404]

Hii!! I really like your writing. Can I request headcannons of Anxiety and Anger from Inside Out 2 x Schadenfreude!reader where the reader is just there to cause trouble lol (I would love it if the reader had a very heavy German accent too) You can ignore this if you want and don't forget to take care of yourself!  

Anxiety/Anger x Schadenfreude!reader

Schadenfreude (german) is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, pain, suffering, or humiliation of another.

Paring/s: Anxiety/Anger x GN!Schadenfreude!Reader (romantic)

Warnings: None

Request: Yes/No

Note: I caan finally post again!! expect a few more writing posts of me now!! ^^ (I'm giving reader like those stereo typical accents because.. why not? I'm germyn and i know not everyone has an accent but it's funny!!)

Anxiety

kinda scared of you ngl-

probably overthinks that if you're in control and laugh at someone that, that person somehow ruins Rileys life-

warms up to you eventually

slightly.. put off by your accent as she can't understand you all the time-

i like to imagine you came a lil later after the wave of the second emotions hit (you actually scared the shit outa every one tbh-)

"moin!" "AAHH-"

will litterly combust when Riley laughs outloud when you're at the consol and someone falls

"STOP!!""...nein :)" (no)

you somehow get her to calm down? idk how but you did

she tries to be a bit more positiv about it, key word: tries

she still loves you even if you almost give her an aneurysm because of her worries :'>

Anger

loves your vibe tbh

nr.1 hype man

like Anxiety, he can't understand shit sometimes when you talk

"was fürn scheiß! wieso- *insert german rage*" (what the fuck! why-)*concerend BF*

will indulge in your laughing at someones misery much to Anxiety's dismay

"ANGER!! STOP WHAT IF THEY RUIN OUR LIFE BECAUSE OF US LAUGHING???""eh, could be worse""ja! daz isn't the worst that could happen! :D" "STOP-"

learns alittle german for you ^^ (and for the curs words he finds that they sound cool)

[sarnai4]

Butt of the Joke

Something I enjoy in stories is when you can laugh at and with a character. To me, it keeps them from seeming too "important" or flawless. We all make mistakes and being able to laugh at ourselves is nice. That's why I like when they do this with Dagur, but the method is very different from what's done to Snotlout. Something I will probably always be grateful for is that Dagur is a show character and not a movie character. Those in the movies (the rest of the Riders anyway in my opinion) had their development stunted. I'm convinced that the first movie didn't expect the franchise to get as big as it did and just needed some other people to fill out the cast. Unfortunately, they also didn't expect the shows to be super popular. So, Snotlout in HTTYD 3 is still immature enough to flirt with the widowed mom of one of his best friends when RTTE Snotlout would understand how inappropriate that is. All that's to say that the jokes for Snotlout are often at the expense of his character because he still has to end up at whatever point he's at in the movies.

I believe it's in "Shell-Shocked" that there's a joke about Snotlout suggesting they all leave the Edge and run, leaving it for the Hunters. Okay, yes, I chuckled too because it is funny to have a character be so openly fearful. Yet, this doesn't make sense for him at this point. We're on the season 4 finale of a show that happened 2 seasons after the first series. Snotlout should know by now that leaving the same Hunters who had been willing to kill them and a ship of innocent people with a disease can't be left to their own devices. Why wouldn't he want to stay and fight? Even if it's dangerous, of course the villains are going to keep coming for them. Hiccup rightfully points out that they'll just go on to Berk, but why did he have to say this? Snotlout should have known, but the joke was made without considering how much he'd grown and his own bravery and intelligence.

There seems to be a thing about Snotlout being cowardly, but I really don't think he is. In "Gold Rush," there's a wordless joke where he's just screaming his lungs out after getting captured. Not saying he hasn't shrieked when plummeting to what could be death and that's totally fine, but here? Eh, I don't think so. I feel like there would be enough bad blood between him and the Hunters by now so that he wouldn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing how scared he is. It's also horribly futile. He's gone to save Fishlegs, the twins, and Astrid before. He knows the Hunters won't release them and nothing is even happening besides his cage being moved. I'm probably overthinking these moments, but they annoy me since they paint Snotlout as pathetic when we then see him enter a 21 vs 2 fight in "Something Rotten on Berserker Island" fearlessly. Is he a scaredy cat or not? I just want some consistency, then I'd accept whatever fit with the character I'd been shown.

Dagur's saved from this since all his development is in the show. He's not held back by the movies. So, when there's a joke at his expense, it doesn't contradict anything. I'll try to make the examples as similar as possible for comparability. Dagur's got a joke involving saying the wrong thing and it was in "Mi Amore Wing." He's proposing to have Hiccup be his best man. Yes, this is clearly a unique way to ask someone, but it's also not contradicting anything about Dagur. He's got 0 skills with picking up on social cues and responding to things the way other Vikings generally would. It's also very possible that he's never seen anyone be asked to become a best man before, so he's doing what he thinks is a good way to show he's sincere and would really be happy. I don't leave the scene thinking, "Now, why would he say that, though?" Because he's Dagur. That's enough of a reason.

Dagur's got a scared joke too in "Enemy of My Enemy." When he was on Toothless's saddle, he was terrified and the scream made it pretty clear. This made sense because there was something happening at that moment. It wasn't Dagur letting his enemies see his weakness. It was him being on a dragon for the first time, going very quickly, and not knowing what he was doing. He's even thrown off the saddle as soon as Toothless lands in another moment I thought was funny. It doesn't make him look bad, but we can still laugh at his incompetency in this area.

Both of these characters have several physical gags too where one of them gets hurt and I will admit that those always get me to laugh. It's just times like those I've mentioned for Snotty that disappoint me. I really like him too. I think if he were allowed to be a more respectable character, it would be great. Dagur proves the writers know how to do that. We can laugh at him without him doing anything that opposes what they've set up. On the other side of this, Snotlout will act one way, then contradict the very personality we just saw him develop. I can't think of a single time when I couldn't explain one of Dagur's actions through use of his personality. I think that's how it should be. If it's in-character, then it makes sense. If not, then maybe the scene should be worked on a bit longer for this to be fixed.

[tropicalcontinental]

Wait a minute when the hell does the CL16 Continuity take place? Like, is it in 2023? At least, it's present? Going by what's in the description of the Herobrine Exposure video, Zander's channel has been inactive for 6 years (the Herobrine video being his last one), and he's playing on 1.12 (as Kevin mentions in his debunking.)

Assuming that 1.12 is the latest version of Minecraft currently out at the time, and that 1.12 was released on June 7, 2017, it would mark present day as 2023.

But then there's like, the Gameband video, where the S.O.S file is dated as October 6, 2016.

Is this also a part of the parody or something? Am I overthinking this? Is it anachronistic on purpose? I was just trying to figure out when Kevin potentially started his paranormal mercenary business.

Speaking of which! The latest minecraft version in Kevin's video appears to be 1.12.2 (according to the versions his clients play), which only came out months after the release of 1.12. So either his clients just like old Minecraft (which he did mention are more prone to hauntings, but that's specifically for Metaphors for Nostalgia, not just any regular haunt), or the latest version is just 1.12.2 (which was an update of 1.12 that came out on September 18, 2017.)

Assuming the latter is the case, and like, assuming Kevin is BigKVids, did he immediately jump into the supernatural world after seeing a hint of Souler in Zander's video? If so that's kinda funny, and also means he's somehow super experienced after a couple months. Hashtag bluffing or overconfidence or extreme competence or whatever.

(Hey is BigKVids' channel being deleted a good sign? Either Kevin deleted his old, kid channel, or that he continued to use the same channel to publish his portfolio. Eh, It's probably not a big deal.)

Vitri also seems to play on 1.12.2 considering the mods she has downloaded work for, well, 1.12.2.

And Collin's world is Collin's world man (I'm assuming it's 1.12.2)

Basically, I think CL16 Continuity is currently taking place in 2017, at least most of its videos do. But it seems like it could go up to 2023 if it wants.

Also who's reuploading Zander's, BigKVids', and AwesomeG's videos? Is it the entity called The Reuploader or something (I know that hungry may be the one reuploading AwesomeG's videos for some reason, but there's no confirmation for the other two!)

[yongbokkari]

affections ੈ✩‧˚

pairing ↳ lee felix x y/n reader

word count ↳ 2.4k+

warnings ↳ misunderstanding, arguments, mentions of food, overthinking, slight hints of falling out of love and breaking up, happy ending !!

author's note ↳ this is my first time so it may be bad im sorry but bear with me 🥹 and english is not my first language so grammar may be a bit eh im so sorry 🥲

It’s been long ago that you found out about Felix being fond of physical touch, just from observing the way he behaved with people around him. It’s adorable, really, and now that you’re together it’s even more of a quality of his that you just absolutely love.

But you never got just why he rarely ever did the same for you. When you first got to know each other, way before your feelings developed, he intended more physical touches than he even as little as let his thigh brush yours when you sit close to him now. You couldn’t help but overthink about it.

Is he feeling okay? Did I do something wrong? Do I make him uncomfortable? Is he losing feelings? Does he hate me? The thoughts worsen each time.

You’ve tried initiating the contact—adjusting his hair when it gets in the way of his view, firmly holding his hand when crossing the road, giving him a hug when it’s been quite long since you last saw each other. But each effort was met with little to no effort of reciprocation. He either avoids getting the contact to happen or tries to make it last for only a while. The actions never went unnoticed by you and it made you heartbroken.

Felix was such a sweetheart, you were sure even if you did something wrong he would not confront you with such a straightforward attitude, afraid to hurt your feelings. Little did he know slowing down the process was hurting you more.

The overwhelming situation took over almost all of the space inside your head and when Chan invited you and Felix over with the others to have a sleepover, you wanted to refuse and just stay home but Felix would probably sense that something was wrong and insisted to stay at home with you. You didn’t want to take away his time with his friends so you just went along, trying to shake away the heavy cloud looming over your head.

✧*̣̩⋆̩☽⋆゜

“Whose turn is it to pick the movie?” Chan asked while turning on the TV while some was sorting the snacks on the coffee table.

Han eagerly raised his hand, excited to be the one in charge of the entertainment for the night, which raised groans. “Wait, wait, I know all of you are expecting me to pick Howl’s Moving Castle again, but tonight I’m feeling a bit... different,” he giggled to himself before turning to the television to set it up.

As everyone settled down—Seungmin, Jeongin, you and Felix shared a couch and a blanket while the others decided to sit on the floor just so they’ll be closer to the snacks. As the movie started, the title ‘On Your Wedding Day’ appeared and Han mentioned that a friend of his recommended the movie to him.

Throughout the movie, you could feel Felix’s eyes on you at times, looking back and forth between you and the TV. Usually you would cry when watching movies like this but in your head, you were worrying about Felix the whole time.

Was he fine with sitting close to you like this? You didn’t want to make him more uncomfortable. You tried preventing your leg from bouncing to not show how nervous you were. Thankfully you had never been one to talk much when you’re with the members so you didn’t have to make an effort to make small talks and comments about the movie.

As the movie finished, everyone decided to call it a day. As soon as you went into the room you and Felix shared, you got into the bathroom to do your skincare. Felix got into the bathroom soon after to do his, so you stood in front of the mirror side by side without saying a word to each other the whole time.

Before this the silence would feel comfortable, but now with your feelings all jumbled up you questioned whether or not it was a good thing that you two did not share any sort of interaction.

You got on the left side of the bed and faced upwards, waiting for Felix to lay beside you. A few moments after he did, you tried to find the courage to ask him of the truth. It was too much for you to bear, not knowing what he was thinking, what he was feeling, what he thought of you and if somehow his feelings had changed from what he felt at the beginning of the relationship.

You slowly sat up and faced him. “Felix?” You called, to which he hummed as a response and landed his eyes on you. Upon seeing your serious expression, he got alarmed and sat up.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just... I need to talk to you about something,” You were looking down at your hand that was fidgeting with the comforter of the bed, a result from the anxiety you were experiencing.

Apart from all the darkness clouds of thoughts racking your brain, there was a small part that was holding on to a light of hope, thinking, praying that your mind just paid too much attention to every single detail that should’ve never been that important. That perhaps his feelings were alike to what yours were, still the same as it had ever been or maybe even growing much more than when you were at the starting point of the relationship.

But the light was getting dimmer as each day passed by.

You sat in silence for a long moment, neither one of you breaking it. “Y/n?” Felix called, his voice as sweet and as soft as it had always been, and he reached out to hold your hand.

Why now, when you were ready to confront him about this ? Why now, when you were begging for one as simple as this before from him and granting it seemed like an impossible task for him to do?

The confrontation would possibly leave you two heartbroken. Or maybe it won’t. Maybe it would only be one-sided, but either way you were certain that you couldn’t leave the argument without your heart breaking more than it already was.

“Did I do something?” You slowly raised your head to look him in the eye.

“What do you mean?” He asked, with his eyebrows furrowed and a hint of a frown on his lips.

“Or was it something I said? Were there any arguments we left unsettled? If you want, we can finish it now, we can be done with it, and-”

“No, love you didn’t do anything and there’s nothing to finish, what do you mean?” Felix asked, his expression growing more concerned, his thumbs caressing your hand to ease you.

“Then why are you doing this?” The confusion didn’t leave his face, so you continued, “Avoiding my touches like it would somehow hurt you. Are we falling out, is that what this is? Are your feelings for me gone? You can be honest it’s fine.” At this point you could feel your tears threatening to stream down your face but you fought it, not wanting to cause Felix to feel bad just because you were getting sensitive.

“We’re not-”

“Then why? I’ve seen you with the others and you were fine. You hugged them and you touched them and I could see and even feel your love for them, but what about me, Felix? If wanting to feel your touch makes me needy and clingy then so be it because how do I not be when you wouldn’t even let any parts of you even brush against mine? I’ve tried convincing myself that I was overthinking the whole thing, but... I don’t know, lately it’s all forming a puzzle.”

The tears that you fought against so hard were too strong and you could feel them going down your face. “So just tell me now. Right now. Be honest with me. Do you still want to be with me? If you don’t, it’s okay, I won’t make a big deal out of it. It is what it is and some things are meant to end, and-“ Your sentence was cut off as Felix’s hands reached to cradle your face, wiping your tears delicately with his thumbs.

“You really love jumping to conclusions, don’t you?” He asked and voiced a low chuckle. “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I never intended to, but I did and I’m sorry. I promise I’ll make up for it. But I guess I kind of assumed things too. I knew that you didn’t really favour physical touch. I’ve seen how you tried to retract yourself when people touch you. I’ve seen how uncomfortable you get because of it. I didn’t want to do that to you. So I tried holding myself back from all the hugs that I wanted to give you, from all the holding hands I wanted to do. It even made me realize just how good I was at self restraint. Or maybe it’s because it concerned you.”

“But wasn’t it enough of an approval when I touched you first?” You asked, the words barely comprehensible as you fought with the lump in your throat.

“Love, you’re a wonderful person. It wouldn’t be impossible that you only did so just because you knew I liked physical touches. I didn’t want you to think I liked it when you abandoned your needs only to meet mine. That’s not fair. You should never think that. But... I guess that’s where I’m in the wrong too.”

His thumbs started caressing your cheeks again as he brought your face closer to plant a kiss on your forehead. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell that you wanted me to touch you. I never thought you would because Hyunjin told me that back then you didn’t really enjoy being touched by others and were more inclined towards words. You had been friends with him for years, so I trusted him. I tried to show my affections for you through other ways, but I guess I’m too accustomed to touching that it didn't really show. I should’ve never assumed like that instead of asking you about it, I’m so sorry.” You could see his gaze softening from the guilt he was feeling.

“No, I’m sorry. I also should’ve asked you straight away if you were okay instead of just making things up... Were you? Okay?” He nodded at that with a smile, so you continued. “I guess it was true. I used to really hate touching people, even my siblings and friends. But... I don’t know I guess you bring that side out of me.” You looked down at your hands again, embarrassed to admit just how smitten you were with him.

Then, Felix raised your head with his fingers on your chin. “And I’m glad I did.” He went for a hug then and you had never felt like crying more than you did at that moment. You hugged him as much force as he did, or maybe even more.

You stayed like that for a while, in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent. Both of you slowly pulled back but even then, you stay connected through his hands holding yours. His right hand left yours to wipe the stain of tears on your face and asked, “Are you feeling better?” He asked, and that soft and sweet smile was still on his lips. You nodded and asked him the same thing, to which he nodded to.

“Thank you for being patient and putting up with me, I... I really don’t know what I’d do without you,” You held back the tears that were threatening to come out because of the guilt you were feeling.

“I hardly feel like I am. But you know I’d do anything if it was for you,” His thumbs were swiping the back of your hand now. “But, I guess you can’t say the same... I mean, you did say ‘Some things are meant to end.’”

You hit his thigh lightly, smiling. “You know I didn’t mean that,” You said to which he chuckled. Then you just stared at each other, until you finally bring out the words you’ve been thinking for a while. “Can you kiss me?”

He chuckled and slowly came forward. He cradled the left side of your face and leaned in until your lips touched. It was a slow one, with no intention of becoming more. Both of you were tired, and it felt like heaven to be able to relax in each others’ hold like this.

You slowly broke apart and both left the kiss with slightly flushed cheeks and a smile. Then , he topped it with a kiss on your cheek, which just made your face even redder. “Should we go to sleep now?” He asked to which you nodded.

You turned off the bedside lamp and took off your spectacles and just as you laid down, you felt Felix’s hand on your waist and his face right beside yours. You turned towards him, and his leg immediately went to straddle yours.

“I’ve always wanted to sleep with you like this, so you can’t do anything about it,” He said with his eyes closed and you chuckled.

“No complaints.”

✧*̣̩⋆̩☽⋆゜

You were really glad you had that talk with Felix because boy, was he touchy the next day. When you woke up, he didn’t want to let you go and insisted that you stayed in bed but you persuaded him to come with you. So you brushed your teeth and did your skincare together. All while he’s right beside you.

Everyone either hadn’t woken up yet or just stayed in bed, so you made pancakes for you and Felix. Even then, he was hugging you from behind but then was afraid that you would get hurt because he was restricting your movements, so he got himself to prepare the plates and utensils needed.

He took a picture of you and the pancakes and when he showed it to you, you heard him mumble “So pretty.” You ate together while talking about your plans for the week and he complimented you exaggeratedly about the pancakes when both of you knew it was a simple recipe.

The boys woke up so you were about to get up and make some for them but Felix said you didn’t have to and got up to make them instead. You watched him move as he flipped the pancakes, his movements so elegant and delicate. Each time he turned around and saw you staring at him, he gave you a soft smile and continued making the pancakes.

Amidst the chaos of the boys greeting each other and being excited that breakfast was ready, you wondered to yourself if it could get any more perfect than this. You could feel your heart mending and being full of hope that this beam of happiness you're feeling and seeing would stay in your life forever.

[duckapus]

*Meggy walks into Mario's Spaghetti Lab, which is now full of all sorts of strange spaghetti variants. there's spaghetti in nearly every color she can think of, and several she can't. there's spaghetti made of materials that absolutely should not be edible, or even should not be period. she swears that one of them seems to be made of music somehow. and in the middle of the chaos she finds Mario at a table, face down, with a plate of something in front of him*

Meggy: *gently shakes his shoulder to get his attention* Red, nobody's seen you for three days. I'm worried about you.

Mario:

Mario: *points at the plate in front of him* You know what that is?

Meggy: Uh...not-not really? I mean, I guess it's probably technically spaghetti but looking directly at it's kind of giving me a headache.

Mario: ...It's Cringe. I somehow made spaghetti out of the very concept of Cringe. *faceplants into the table again* ...I can't do it.

Meggy: Uh...

Mario: I can't make that stupid Orange Spaghetti! Any other color, sure! Elements? The magnesium spaghetti tasted like cotton candy! Emotions! Powerups! Fundamental laws of the Universe! But the one thing I actually want is always just out of reach!

Mario: *sighs in defeat* I'm... I'm done. I'm never going to figure out that recipe. I should've given up when Bowser and Whimpu did.

Meggy: ...I'm sorry, Mario. I know how much this meant to you. *starts pulling something out from behind her back* I was gonna use this to try and convince you to take a break but...maybe it can cheer you up instead. *the object is revealed to be a large bottle labeled "Bob Juice"*

Mario: ...Wasn't that just gasoline last time.

Meggy: Yeah, but that was just for his insurance fraud scheme. Apparently he makes actual moonshine in his spare time and calls it Bob Juice. I've tried it before, it's actually pretty good. It's also ridiculously strong, so we're probably gonna end up blackout drunk even with just a little bit.

Mario: ...*shrugs* Eh, why not. Not like I've got anything else planned today.

--------------------

*A Few Hours Later...*

Mario: *groans and slowly picks himself up off the floor, and looks around to assess the mess Drunk Mario & Meggy left for Hungover Mario & Meggy to deal with, then freezes when he sees it*

"It": *a plate of spaghetti so Orange that it embodies the very concept sits in the pristine, untouched center of the carnage*

Mario: ...Meggy?

Meggy: *gives a repeat performance of Mario's awakening* Yeah?

Mario: You can see that too, right?

Meggy: See wha- *opens her eyes and beholds the Spaghetti* No. Way.

Mario: *gets to his feet and approaches it with reverence, slowly picking it up, and then...* NOM

...THOOM!!!!!!!!!

Mario: *pays no mind to having just exploded and starts tearing up* It's more delicious than I could have imagined...

Meggy: Hey, that's great! You found the- wait we were blackout drunk do you actually know the recipe now?

Mario: Hmm... *lights up* I got it! Runs over to the cooking part of what's left of the lab and cooks in a frenzy, the BotW cooking jingle (specifically the one when you make a really good meal) playing, and soon he's holding another Orange Spaghetti out for Meggy*

Meggy: *eats the spaghetti, causing another explosion* Oh yeah! Just like I remember it!

Mario: *chuckles* I guess I was just overthinking it or something. It was actually pretty easy to figure out once I knew I could. *turns back to the cooking station* You grab the others, I'm gonna make enough for everyone to try some!

Meggy: You got it. *runs out the door, heading towards the Showgrounds*

[howlingday]

Knightshade Signals

Jaune: Hey, guys! (Sits down) How's your morning going?

Ruby: Fine.

Yang: Can't complain.

Nora: I ate a spider!

Ren: It was a pancake in the shape of a spider.

Pyrrha: Did your tie give you a lot of trouble?

Jaune: Uh, just a little bit. Say, where's Blake?

Yang: She was reading this morning, but she said she'd be down. Oh, and speak of the Grimm.

Blake: Good morning. (Sits down) Did everyone sleep well?

Pyrrha: I slept just fine.

Nora: Same.

Ren: Nora kicked me.

Jaune: I kind of got to bed late, but I slept pretty good, and woke up just fine.

Blake: I see. I also slept well.

Yang: Uh, are you sure you're not still sleepy?

Blake: No. Why do you ask?

Yang: Well, you're sitting awfully close to Vomit Boy.

Blake: Hm. So I am. I'm not invading your space, am I?

Jaune: No, not really.

Blake: That's good.

Ruby: (Thinking) Huh... She is sitting pretty close. But if Jaune's okay with it.

---------------------------------------------------

Blake: (Opens the door) Sorry I'm late. Professor Ozpin wanted to have a word with me.

Oobleck: Yes, yes. He informed me well beforehand. Please take your seat.

Blake: Yes, Doctor. (Sits next to Jaune)

Jaune: Glad you made it.

Blake: I'm glad to be here.

Pyrrha: (Glances over, Thinking) Was it just me, or did Jaune's eyebrows just raise at seeing Blake? Ah, I'm overthinking things, I'm sure.

---------------------------------------------------

Blake: (Taps Jaune's shoulder) Jaune.

Jaune: Huh? Wha?

Blake: You fell asleep.

Jaune: Oh, yeah... Sorry, I was studying and, uh...

Blake: It's fine. The lunch bell just rang.

Jaune: (Yawns) Did Professor Port notice me?

Blake: (Holding Jaune's hand) No, he was telling us how he killed a Deathstalker with his bare hands again.

Jaune: Oh, that one. I like that one.

Blake: It's one of his better stories.

Port: Hmph! (Thinking) To think the lad could sleep during study time! But he has such a dear friend to guide him right. And one who keeps her hands soft yet firm on him! Ah, the summer day springtime of youth...

---------------------------------------------------

Nora: Jaune, have you seen my fork collection?

Jaune: (Reading) Isn't it under your desk drawer?

Nora: No, that's the spoon diorama.

Jaune: Have you tried the closet corner?

Nora: Nope, not yet. Thanks, Jaune!

Jaune: No problem.

Nora: Hey, Blake.

Blake: Hello, Nora. Hello, Jaune.

Jaune: (Looks up from reading) Hey, Blake.

Blake: Jaune, have you seen Weiss around anywhere? Or Ruby? Yang's down in the gym, working on arm day with Sun.

Jaune: Is Neptune with them?

Blake: I think so.

Jaune: Weiss probably isn't far away, then. As for Ruby, well, she's probably over with them, too.

Blake: I'm not sure how I missed them.

Jaune: They can be pretty sneaky. Need some company?

Blake: I was about to ask you the same thing.

Jaune: I won't say no to it.

Blake: I was going to say that, too.

Nora: (Thinking) That's weird. Why didn't he talk that much with me? Wait, what was I- Oh, right! Closet corner!

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Jaune: (Arms crossed) I'm telling you guys. I'm an open book; you can ask me anything.

Ruby: Okay! What's the best video game?

Jaune: Ninja Kung-Fu Ultimate Deathslayer 2 in my opinion.

Ruby: Eh, the first one was better.

Yang: Who do you have a crush on?

Jaune: W-Well, uh, I did like Weiss for a while.

Weiss: Ugh! Moving on. Where are you from?

Jaune: Around South Vale, a little village named Ansel. Anything else?

Blake: How are you today?

Jaune: Hm... (Opens arms, Rest hands behind head) Ah, well, my morning was kinda off, but I feel like I'm picking up.

Blake: That's good.

Yang: (Thinking) Why'd he bring his arms up like that? Heck, why were they crossed in the first place?

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Blake: (Sighs) So much for simple field training. (Plucks debris off her outfit)

Jaune: (Rolls up sleeves) Yeah, and I don't know how they got inside, but they did, and I'm itchy.

Blake: You should wear something to cover your wrists better.

Jaune: Would they get stuck on your wrists?

Blake: No. See?

Jaune: (Takes wrist, Turns) Huh... Guess not. Oh, but you do have something here.

Blake: Where?

Jaune: On your neck. Do you mind if I...?

Blake: Sure. (Lifts chin)

Jaune: Yeah, see? It was just a... little... (Flushes) Anyway, we should get back to the others and-

Blake: Jaune, wait.

Jaune: Y-Yeah?

Blake: Do you... like me?

Jaune: I, well, uh...

Blake: I'm not asking for anything big and complicated. Simply yes or no.

Jaune: Y-Yeah, I do like you.

Blake: I see. (Pecks his cheek, Blushes) Then I guess the feeling is mutual.

Jaune: Yeah, I guess it is. Oh, and Blake?

Blake: Yes?

Jaune: (Pecks her cheek) To, uh, get you back.

Blake: (Smiles) That's fair.

Ren: (Watching from afar, Thinking) I knew it.