#dicky collins

[knowthatiloveyou]

Hannah Waddingham getting ready for the 81st Golden Globes January 7, 2024

[crazyk-imagine]

Flickering Lights and Bonding

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Enhanced!reader

Characters: Enhanced!reader, Paul Lahote, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater, Embry Call, Quil Atera V, Jared Cameron, Brady Fuller, Collin Littlesea, Reader's sister (briefly mentioned), Unnamed Aunt (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, this is cute, Paul will submit to his queen, he is absolutely infatuated with the reader, the reader still loves him but doesn't want to admit it, two idiots in love, reader tries to push him away but he ain't budging, there's an ending to the ending, this was cute, I love him, I'm fine, paul be acting like paul, he's lowkey a whiney boy, hehe get it, paul is soo protective, the boys are idiots, the pack is literally a mosh of crackheads, literally these boys i swear, our not so dicky boss is hilarious

Word Count: 4,060

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They glance down and find you've passed out against her.

He smiles, watching as you lay there relaxed and not upset with him.

"You've always loved her, haven't you?"

He nods, "yeah."

She smiles. "I'm happy you found your future in her, you're the only one worthy of her time."

He scoffs. "That's not how I see it."

"She's been through a lot."

He grunts, she doesn't know if he agrees with her or not.

"It's not my place to tell you but you need background information in order to fix your bond with her." She sighs, "her sister hasn't called in a few weeks because of their aunt, and she's been... losing herself."

"Losing herself."

Emily nods, "she's been depressed because of it, not to mention the fact that it’s their anniversary."

"Who's?"

She furrows her brows, "what do you mean?"

"Who's anniversary?"

"Were you not there for the funeral?"

He straightens his posture, shocked at the tid bit of information she shared. "There was a funeral?"

She sighs, realizing she's shared too much. "You do know her parents are gone, right? That's why she's been hanging out with Sam and I more."

His jaw drops, "she- when- what happened?"

She shrugs, "the only thing I could find out was that they were in an accident and didn't come home for the girls."

"When?"

She hums, thinking back to a different time. "A few years ago, you two were in sixth grade, I think."

"Why didn't she tell me?" He glances at you.

"It happened just a few months after you gave her a new nickname."

"I said that was an accident."

"Yeah, just like you always having feelings for her was fate planning on making her to be your imprint."

"I- how has she been here?"

She understands he's referring to the house and likes the fact that he's trying to look out for you and rekindle your relationship.

She's been worried since her world changed with the whole imprint and shifter situation came into play but now, she can ease up just a smidge since he's imprinted on you.

“She’s been in the house for a few years now and it’s been hard. Since you guys shifted, our relationship became a little strained and since you imprinted on her, I can imagine she won’t be too happy with what I tell you.”

He wants to ask but can see with the way she’s talking; he should just shut up.

“Has it ever seemed strange that the lights go out when she’s upset?”

He furrows his brows, “I mean, sure but I’ve never really-”

“She’s different.”

He pauses.

“The only reason I’m telling you is because I want you to understand why we’re here and not at mine and Sam’s. Since her parents passed and their aunt took her sister to California, she’s been upset.”

He nods.

“Which makes sense because it was a hard thing for her to go through, but it’s amplified some things.”

“Things? What kind of things?”

“Her parents were waiting to tell her when she got older,” she sighs.

“Emily.”

She turns to look at the lost shifter.

“What did they want to tell her?”

She takes a deep breath, “she has abilities.”

His brows rise causing his forehead to crease. “Like our abilities?”

She shakes her head, “no but they are tied to her emotions, kind of like how your guys are.”

She hums, “it is starting to sound like she’s a shifter but she’s not. She has energetic abilities that cause me to have a stock of light bulbs in the house.”

“She blows up the lights?”

Emily nods, “yeah, and now that you’ve imprinted, her emotions are more out of control.”

“How does this help me?”

“You’re going to apologize and make amends before trying to make a bond because I know you can help her.”

“How do I do that when she won’t even talk to me?”

“You say you’re sorry, leave a note saying the same thing. Slowly build to it until she talks to you.”

“Isn’t that considered harassment?”

She scoffs through her nose. “Paul, you want her to in your life, right?”

He nods.

“Listen to me.” She glances down at your calm, sleeping figure. “I’m speaking from experience.”

He smiles watching over you.

She glances over at him and can't help but wonder- “Don’t you have patrol?”

He lifts his head, his fondness for you falls. “Sam made me come here.”

She smirks, “you wouldn’t stop thinking about her?”

“I don’t want to get into this right now.” He pushes himself off the couch, searching through your pantries for food, finding a few items to call snacks.

He makes a mental note to buy you some groceries.

By the time he returns to the couch, Emily’s fallen asleep.

He lifts the blanket over you, not wanting you to be cold since he knows you wouldn’t appreciate him being close to you.

He sighs, closing his eyes, wondering how everything went wrong between the two of you and how long you’ve been struggling.

His mind becomes more silent; head feeling heavy, unable to support it anymore as he falls asleep.

-

You awake the next day and find him curled up with an inch of space between you two.

You gulp, staring at him, wondering how it would be if you two were still friends.

You reach out to move his hair the way he like(d) it and stop yourself. You push yourself off the couch and search for the bathroom.

-

Paul opens his eyes, watching as your body disappears around the corner of the couch.

He pushes himself up, sighing as he rubs his hands across his face.

“I’m leaving, fix this before it hurts the both of you.”

He rolls his eyes at Emily’s words.

“I’m leaving so breakfast will be ready for the boys before they get too hungry,” she shouts.

-

You lean over the bathroom sink, keeping your eyes closed. “Okay!”

You pray he left with her, you don’t know how you’d be able to face him.

Why did you have to stay?

-

You knew you should have left earlier but you couldn’t bear to leave after seeing her puppy dog eyes, which you thought was ironic for her being a shifter’s imprint.

She suckered you into staying with one of her infamous home cooked meals, something you could never get over.

“How’s work?”

You stir the mix with a little more vigor than you should have. “Fine, work is work.”

“Care to explain more about that?”

You shake your head, “nope. Everyone is still an idiot, my manager is still a dick, and I am still struggling to pay bills. Need I go on?”

She sighs, “okay, I get it. But remember if you ever-”

“Need anything just ask. Sam and I can take care of you.” She smiles, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “And it’s true.”

After putting the treats in the oven, you run out to Emily’s truck realizing you left the new baking pans you bought earlier.

You search the bed of the truck and find nothing, realizing that you left them in the back seat.

You close the door and walk back towards their place, pausing when you see the group of boys making their way out of the edge of the woods.

A few of the younger ones were playfully pushing the others back and forth.

Your heart stops when you notice him.

He’s laughing and shoving a couple of his buddies away from himself.

Brady looks away when he almost trips over his feet and looks up, catching your gaze.

He starts waving like a mad man, calling out your name.

You suck your bottom lip in, biting the skin where your lip and inner mouth meet.

His head snaps up, finding your gaze and that’s when it happens. Brady and Quil run towards you.

They always love having you around, not to mention the fact that you’re the nicest person they ever met.

“Hey, we didn’t know you’d be here today,” Brady starts.

“We’re happy you’re here,” Quil adds.

You blink and remove your gaze from Paul’s.

“Are you and Emily cooking?” The shorter of the two asks.

“We are.”

They glance at one another and smile, they always love coming over when you’re there; now you may love Emily’s food but the boys love when you two cook together, nothing can top it (sometimes not even their own mother’s food).

Brady takes the bag out of your hands as he and Quil head back into the place.

Emily smiles at the sight of them, happy to know the boys and her cousins are back safe and sound.

“What happened?” She asks, noticing the paleness in your face.

The door opens and the others walk in.

“I need to go outside.”

She furrows her brows, knowing you only go out there when you need a break and don’t want to blow up any of her light bulbs.

You brush past the others, not even looking to see if he’s with them.

“What happened?” You faintly heard her ask, too into your thoughts to hear Jared answer her.

-

He knocks on the door when your heartbeat quickens. “Hey.”

You flinch, not expecting him to still be here.

The light flickers.

“You okay?”

“Go away.”

"You know I won't leave."

"You're worse than a dog."

"I’m not and I’m not leaving till I know you’re okay.”

“Paul,” you sigh, opening the door. “Don’t you have wolf things to do.”

“I can do them later. I want to talk.”

You enter the kitchen, rifling through the fridge and pantry, finding no items that could go together for a meal. “Yeah, well. I don’t, sound familiar?”

“How many times do I need to tell you I’m sorry?”

“Not anymore because I’m over it. I just can’t wrap my mind around why you want to talk so badly.”

“You know exactly why.”

You whirl around, staring into his eyes. “You’ve never once wanted to talk about your feelings or anything important for that matter or even bow down to someone since- ever since I met you and now all of a sudden you’re mister therapist, I don’t think so.”

You spin around and head towards the sink, cleaning the dishes you didn’t do yesterday.

Bone cracking comes from behind you, and you spin around to see him on his knees, staring up at you like he’s losing a battle and can’t win.

You turn off the water and wipe your hands on the dish towel near the sink. “Get up.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “You’re right. I don’t talk about… emotions or stuff like that and I’ve never once given anyone the opportunity to talk about something serious with me. I’ve never come down to their level so I’m doing it now.”

You gulp, stepping closer. “Get up.”

He doesn’t move.

You sigh and shake his shoulders, “get off the ground and go home.”

He reaches for you, wanting to hold whatever part of you he can; holding you close by the back of your thighs.

Your hands move, cupping his face, giving you the unfortunate opportunity to stare into his eyes; the same ones you always knew you could count on because he’d never let anything happen to you.

You grit your teeth, muttering under your breath. “Stupid imprint bond.”

The corners of his lips twitch.

“Don’t smile you, butthead.”

“I’m your, butthead.”

You thin your lips, trying to figure out how this is going to work. “I’m not letting you in right away. You got lucky coming over last night.”

He nods, grip slightly tightening. “I won’t push you.”

“Yeah, or else Emily will be on your ass.”

He pulls you closer, bury his face into your stomach; hugging you before letting go.

“You need to go before Sam comes looking for you.”

“I know.”

You can see hesitation in his body posture. “What?”

“Can I come by later?”

You blink once. “Why?”

“I want us to start over where we should have grown up.”

You raise a brow. “How do you expect that to happen?”

“Leave it up to me.” He smirks at you before groaning due to the pack link. “I have to go before Jared barges in. I’ll see you later,” he pecks your cheek before running out the door.

You stand there for a few seconds before raising your hand to touch your cheek, tracing along where he kissed you, swearing you feel a tingling sensation.

-

You avoid talking to Emily and Paul for the rest of the day, barely able to avoid the other pack members as Jared, Brady, Seth, and Embry walk into the diner.

You take a deep breath before heading over to their table. “What are we having today boys?”

They glance around at one another.

“The usual,” Embry answers.

“With a side of stupid imprint bond,” Seth jokes before pausing when he realizes it wasn’t the time to joke like that. “I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I?”

Brady smacks the back of his head. “No, you dufus.”

He whines and smacks the boy.

Jared pulls them apart before you could kick them out. “We were hungry and wanted to stop by.”

“Emily’s been trying to call you,” Embry tells you.

“I’ll call later.” You head towards the back, taking deep breaths to stop the lights from flickering.

-

The boys’ glance at one another, sensing they should tell Emily… maybe even Paul.

“Should we-” Seth starts.

Embry and Jared shake their heads.

“I mean, it’s not like we can hide this any longer,” Brady adds.

“What do you mean?” The youngest asks.

The older three boys' glance at one another.

“Paul already knows and is on his way now,” Jared tells him.

“Oh, right the bond.” Seth’s cheeks flush, “does that mean, you guys can see everything?”

They send him teasing smirks.

“You mean, can we see if you play with-”

Jared shoves Brady. “Shut up, man. No, Seth. We haven’t seen anything like that.”

“But remember, we always can,” Embry adds.

-

You hold their plates, “you four need to calm down or make these to go orders.”

“We’re calm,” Jared and Brady told you at the same time.

You narrow your eyes to them. “I’m holding you boys to it; I don’t want to have to work another double because of you.”

“You worked more because of these idiots?”

Your shoulders tense at the voice of the one person you didn’t want to talk to yet.

“We didn’t mean for it to happen,” Embry starts.

“But it just-”

Paul stops Jared from saying anymore. “If you say it just happened, I’m making you take over my shift tonight.”

“But it did.”

“Yeah, you’re taking tonight’s shift.”

You place their plates and aim to head towards the counter when a warm hand on your wrist stops you.

“When do you get off work?”

You glance back towards the kitchen, finding your boss staring at you. “I have a couple more hours until I’m done.”

You turn towards the other members, “you boys enjoy your meal.”

You walk away, expecting Paul to sit down and not follow you.

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“I’ll figure something out when I get home.”

He stops in front of the cash register, “let me come over.”

“Why should I?”

“I want to make sure you eat something and the only way I know you would is if I come over.”

“You gonna cook for me?” You ask with slight amusement in your tone.

He nods, “I am.”

Your expression falls, you weren’t expecting to want to take care of you. “I- uh- don’t you have patrol tonight?”

“Jared’s covering me.” He smirks when his packmates grumbles come through the pack’s mental link.

“I-”

“I’m going to sit on your porch, watching over your house whether you want me there or not.”

You roll your eyes, “fine, you can come over once I’m done.”

He offers a genuine smile, “great. I’ll take you home.”

You nod before your brain processes what he said and turns back to him only to find him pushing Seth and Jared further into the booth so he can squeeze in.

“You finally got a boyfriend?” Your boss, Leonard (who happens to be Brody’s older cousin) asks.

You purse your lips, “nope, just got another annoying pain in the neck to deal with.”

“He’s cute.”

“Not into you.”

“I know, he’d rather have you.”

You elbow him in his ribs.

“You’re not denying it,” he wheezes.

-

You walk out of the back room and find Paul still in the booth even though the others had left a couple hours ago. “You didn’t need to wait for me.”

He lifts his head, staring at you with an expression you’ve only ever seen in movies. “I didn’t have to, I wanted to though.” He slips out of the booth and stands before you, placing a hand on your back.

You don't want to admit that you've missed him the last few days, if not the last few years but something about this feels domestic; almost like it's something you've been missing.

He opens the door to his truck, waiting until you're situated before closing the door and makes his way around to the other side.

You didn't know what to say and kept quiet, staring out the window, watching at the trees slip past you.

Paul didn't want to say the wrong thing and cause a fight.

-

He steps out of the car to open the door for you, when he turns the corner, the doors already open. "I was coming to open it for you."

"I got it."

"I wanted to treat you."

"I'm fine, Paul."

He sighs, keeping his mouth shut.

"You brought me home and now you can go." You don’t know if you can handle him being here with you now.

He shakes his head, "I'm staying." He makes himself at home by laying on your couch.

"There's no threat, I'm obviously fine, so you can go?"

"I'm not leaving until we talk."

"Talk about what?"

"You're my imprint and we haven't talked in years; I don't want us to be awkward or make this feel- I don't want it to be forced."

"I-" You sigh. "I have nothing to say."

He pushes himself off the couch, stepping closer towards you. "That's bullshit and you know it."

"I'm not the person you should have imprinted on," you set your bag down.

"That's not for me to decide-"

"Yeah, I know it's the universe but maybe it was wrong."

"It's never wrong."

"It is now."

He follows after you, standing outside of your bedroom door. "You know I-" He huffs, listening to the way your heartbeat quickens. "I used to have a crush on you."

"What?" You whisper to yourself, not sure why he's admitting this but also about the fact that he had a crush on you.

"I like you that's why I- I didn't know what happened but then I couldn't stop it."

You furrow your brows at the sight of his shoulders shaking, knowing the story behind Emily’s scars, you shouldn't take a step closer, but the caring voice inside tells you otherwise.

You step closer, slowly reaching out for him.

Your scent engulfs the room, calming him a bit until your hand touches his arm.

The red slowly leaves his vision and it's almost like he can see clearly when he turns his head towards you.

The lights stop flickering when you make eye contact with him.

"Better?" Is all you can ask, barely able to form any other words.

He owlishly blinks, "what?" He asks with a gruff tone.

"I- you seemed like you were going to lose it and I didn't want you to break my living room," you add, joking with him to calm him a bit.

The corner of his lips curve as he tries not to smile. "It doesn't seem like there's much worth breaking," he teases.

You scoff, "you ass."

"I am sorry though," he tells you with an honest tone as he bows his head in shame.

You gulp, "I appreciate that. I'm just sorry it happened now."

"I'm not."

You furrow your brows, partially offended.

"I wasn't ready for this, what we're making now. I- you wouldn't have liked me then. I didn't but," he reaches for your hand, hovering to give you the opportunity to accept or decline. "I hope now we can work on that... on us?"

You stare at his hand, remembering how many times you wanted this with him and how you pushed him away, leaving him alone.

You wrap your arms around his neck, tucking your head in the space between his neck and shoulder. "I've missed you, you idiot."

He chuckles, resting his cheek on your head, breathing you in. "Not as much as I've missed you, sweetheart." 

EXTRA

The boys make their ways up the path to your door with Sam and Emily in tow.

They're practically bouncing like none of them have stopped eating sugar.

"Do you think it finally happened?" Embry asks.

"Who knows? We're about to find out." Jared tells him before shoving Brady out of his way.

"Why'd we bring them again?" Asks Sam.

Emily smiles and shakes her head. "We had no choice."

"There's a body," Seth says. "I see an arm... and a face... it kind of looks-"

"That's your reflection," Quil smacks his arm.

"Hey, no hitting him. Only I can," Leah adds.

"Uh oh," Jared says.

"What?" Sams asks.

"Incoming," Seth, Jared, and Embry mumble in unison.

"You all need to leave," Paul hisses, slowly closing the door behind him.

"Looks like someone-"

"Finish that sentence and you're dead, Black."

Jacob backs away with his hands raised. “Someone’s grouchy.”

“We just had a decent talk last night and you all are not going to ruin this for me.”

Brady, Jared, and Embry turn around, nonchalantly whistling.

You place a hand on his shoulder, wanting him to stop blocking the door. “Paul, stop.”

He lowers his arm with an annoyed expression on his face.

“I know you all are excited but it’s not even seven yet. I still have to get ready for work and-”

“I brought food,” Emily interrupts as Sam lifts the basket.

You avoid Paul’s gaze as you snatch the basket from him. “You all may enter.”

His jaw drops. “I’ve been tossed aside for food.”

Jared pats his shoulder. “At least it wasn’t a blood sucker.”

Jacob glares at him.

“Too soon?” The man shrugs, “my bad man. Look I’m-” Jared takes off around your house before any of you realized what was happening.

-

“Is it always going to be like this?” You ask her.

She offers a sheepish shrug, “I mean, more at our place but close enough yeah.”

You shake your head, ripping another piece of muffin and shove it in Paul’s mouth before he could complain. You continue talking with Emily while simultaneously feeding him.

You glance down as another muffin makes its way to your hand. “Have you been giving me more just so I could feed you?”

He pauses, almost as if he’s bashful. “No?” He takes it from you and shushes, “don’t read into it.”

He shoves half the muffin in your mouth, and you take it like a baby does its pacifier.

Emily, Leah, and Embry stare at you with perplexed looks.

You pout. “You know I thought when Paul found his imprint he was going to calm down,” Brady interrupts. “But you made him weird.”

Neither of you respond to that.

Jared screaming in the background doesn’t disrupt the calmness in the air... even as he cries calls out for help.

-

Tag list

@kmc1989 @gilbertgirl13

-

Previously: Part I

Paul Lahote Master List

[alouiadina]

Pride and Prejudice au, updated

So, I some changes/additions to my Buck x Bucky Pride and prejudice au.

The edited au is: Bucky, Curt, Brady, Crosby, De Marco, Ken, and maybe others work on Bucky's mom's farm.

Now, momma Egan does make comments on Bucky (and some of the other boys) marrying rich, but unlike Mrs. Bennet, its more of a joke than a "you have to marry rich or else." Some of the other's just talk/day dream about marrying rich like Crosby and Ken (who I have decided are both Jane). Ken because he's young and naive, and Crosby because he's a bit of a hopeless romantic.

They occasionally go into town and attend parties, ones with free alcohol and food, and occasionally gets into fights. As they are attending one of these parties, Gale and his friends show up.

So Buck, of course, is Darcy, who is *like that* because of his dad. Hates dancing, drinking, all of that, refusing to interact with anyone. Bubbles (who shares the role of Bingley with Rosie) uses the alcohol to work up the courage to talk to Crosby and uses the dancing as an excuse to touch him/ spend time with him. Ken is actually the one to approach Rosie and ask him to dance. Rosie is a bit flustered, but accepts the offer.

So, Curt is the equivalent of Charlotte (of course), and Bucky is a bit disappointed bc he struck out with everyone he asked (maybe he asked Rosie or Bubbles and they said 'no' bc their eyes were on someone else). Curt is roasting the shit out of Bucky for getting turned down by everyone, and he says that maybe he'll ask the "guy with the stick up his ass" if he wants to dance. Around then, Gale and either Rosie or Bubbles come nearby to talk, not noticing Curt and Bucky nearby. When told to ask Bucky to dance, Gale gives the "no one handsome enough to tempt me" thing, and calls Bucky "to tall, to muscular, and seems too long limbed to be coordinated, basically intolerable." Curt jokes a bit about it, but sees how much Gale's words hurt him, so comforts him.

I feel like Ken would make himself sick by going to have lunch with Bubbles while Rosie is out with Gale or something. Bucky goes to look after him at the house owned by Rosie (he's a lawyer too.) Rosie is totally smitten with Ken, even when he's sick. Then the others arrive, and there's some cute flirting between Bubbles and Crosby.

They leave, hand thing happens, Bucky is confused.

For Mr. Collins/Wickham, I was thinking officer Ulrich Haussmann. I saw a post (which I'll link below) talking about him having a thing for Bucky, and a German movie the actor was in.

So a couple days after the party, Haussmann comes to visit. He's after the Egan farm (or maybe something else) and takes an interest in Bucky. Despite some inner conflict, he responds to Haussmann advances, feeling a bit rejected by Gale (and maybe his mother's health isn't all that great, so he may want to settle before she may go.) He also comes with Dickie (who is also, maybe, kinda, a Mr. Collins stand in) who takes an interest in Curt.

There is some bad blood between Haussmann and Gale, and Haussmann further sullies Bucky's image of Gale. Something happens to make Haussmann leave, and Curt and Dickie get married.

The elder Mr. Cleven is Catherine de Bourgh, and he of course accompanies Curt and Dickie to to visit him. All the stuff that happens there, happens there.

With Marge, I thought that she would be a mix of Anne de Bourgh and Georgiana. She and Gale were close, practically siblings growing up. So, the Mr. Cleven saw fit to make betrothed, and all that. Gale is fond of her, like a sister, but never intended on going through marrying her. That could be a plot point in the story.

The rest of the plot happens, Gale fucks with the love life of Rosie and Bubbles, which bites him in the ass when he tries to propose to Bucky for the first time. The dominos fall, then Gale and Bucky end up married at the end, along with Rosie & Ken, and Bubbles & Crosby.

As for the setting, it could be set in modern times, OR it could be set in the same time as Pride and Prejudice, maybe with an in universe explanation as to why queer relationships are a-okay is more fun to me as a reader.

Also sorry if the timeline of the events is a bit wonky, I haven't seen any adaptation of P&P in a long while, so...

Link to Haussmann post:

https://www.tumblr.com/anavilante/750415554425323520/do-you-know-what-bothers-me-this-german-officer?source=share

Link to original plot idea post:

https://www.tumblr.com/alouiadina/748613727111299072/okay-so-i-thought-of-a-plot-for-my-own-which-may?source=share

(I changed some stuff around since then)

[gijoe-forever]

Stalker originally joined the army as he was seeking a chance to escape from the streets of Detroit. With the Vietnam War raging he didn't want to worry his mother so, with the help of a cousin stationed in Germany, he pretended to be working there and had his mail rerouted. Others in this Long Range Recon Patrol (L.R.R.P.) team would help him make up stories for his letters home. He served with both Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow and their experience made them the best of friends. The others in the six-man team were Wade Collins, Dickie Saperstein and Ramon Escobedo. Saperstein and Escobedo were killed in action and the others believed Collins had also perished. After their tour, only Stalker stayed in the military, while Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow went on a long sabbatical training in the art of the ninja. Years later, Stalker, along with Hawk, would be responsible for selecting the members that would comprise the original Joe team. He was, in effect, serving as second in command to Hawk until Duke came on board. He suggested Snake Eyes for the team and the two went to the High Sierras where they found him and convinced him to join.

[sclitvde]

CLOSED STARTER

Group therapy is the worst fucking part of his incarceration so far but he couldn't complain too much, not after his brutal stint in solitary confinement for beating one of those ' jackbooted fucks ' to an inch of his life. It honestly was that guard's fault for just getting a little too close for comfort. Well, note taken, the price for displaying his discomfort is solitary. Won't make THAT mistake again, he thinks to himself, pale hues dancing around the circle of murderous, criminally - insane (mostly human) men, chained to where they sat.

"Well, uh, everyone " the meek therapist, a fuzzy - faced kid of twenty - four years, makes an attempt to gather everyone's attention before one rather obnoxious inmate pipes up.

"SHEE-IT," begins Richard Collins, who sits opposite the group therapist and close to one of the group's new attendees, "didn't know we had a Clip-Clopper 'round here." That gets a strangled chuckle out of Eddie, which, unfortunately, spurs Collins on further:

"Yeah, yeah, and, uh " Eddie's smile drops into a tight line; Collins tows a thin line of gaining Eddie's favor or earning his displeasure with each passing stutter. The broad - shouldered man doesn't cast his gaze on the subject of ridicule, but he does lean forward, the ringing of his chains hidden under the maniacal laughter of the group.

"Fuck, look at this demonspawn! Yeah, yeah Bet your daddy used those handlebars " And something in Eddie snaps, the perverse thought, a distinct memory, melting any amusement he held for this relentless game of insults.

No, Collins hit something a little too close to Eddie's psyche.

"Dickie," he interrupts lowly in his carefully curated vintage timbre, through gritted teeth barred in a wide, false smile. "If you don't shut the fuck up," large frame leans as close to the other as iron chains may allow, "I'm goin' to rip your tongue out and shove it down your stupid fucking gullet, you Old Fuck."

"Mr. Gluskin," the group therapist's voice cuts through Eddie's commanded silence over the group and, before he can continue, Eddie mutters the therapist's stupid perceived reminder.

"Ten deep breaths." Which he sits back in his seat and reluctantly endeavors to complete, giving himself a moment to observe the subject of Collins's insulting crusade while the session awkwardly continues. The tieflings he'd seen kept to themselves mostly, weren't real troublemakers why was this one here?

plotted-ish starter of eddie being eddie

for @musezieren's sirius :3

[ngdrb]

Greatest rock guitar duos

The world of rock music has been significantly shaped by the contributions of legendary guitar duos. These dynamic pairs have not only revolutionized the genre with their exceptional skills but also created timeless music that continues to inspire generations. This article delves into the greatest rock duo guitarists, exploring their unique styles, groundbreaking techniques, and the indelible impact they have left on the rock music landscape. By examining the synergy between these guitarists, we aim to understand how their collaborations have redefined the boundaries of rock music and solidified their places in music history.

Keith Richards & Brian Jones (The Rolling Stones): Keith Richards and Brian Jones were the driving force behind The Rolling Stones during their early years. Brian Jones, with his innovative slide guitar work, added a bluesy edge to the band’s sound. However, tensions arose, and Keith Richards eventually took over as the primary guitarist. Their dynamic chemistry shaped the Stones’ iconic hits, and even though Jones tragically passed away in 1969, their legacy endures .

Joe Perry & Brad Whitford (Aerosmith): Joe Perry and Brad Whitford formed a formidable guitar duo in Aerosmith. Perry’s fiery solos and Whitford’s rhythmic prowess blended seamlessly, creating the band’s signature sound. Their collaboration produced timeless hits like “Dream On,” “Walk This Way,” and “Sweet Emotion”.

Angus & Malcolm Young (AC/DC): Angus Young’s electrifying lead guitar work paired perfectly with Malcolm Young’s solid rhythm playing. Together, they defined AC/DC’s raw, high-energy rock sound. Malcolm’s songwriting and Angus’s iconic schoolboy persona made them an unforgettable duo.

James Hetfield & Kirk Hammett (Metallica): James Hetfield’s powerful rhythm guitar and Kirk Hammett’s melodic lead lines propelled Metallica to metal superstardom. Their synergy on tracks like “Enter Sandman,” “Master of Puppets,” and “One” solidified their place in rock history.

Dickey Betts & Duane Allman (The Allman Brothers Band): Dickey Betts and Duane Allman pioneered twin guitar harmonies, revolutionizing rock music. Their intricate interplay, showcased in songs like “Jessica” and “In Memory of Elizabeth Reed,” remains influential to this day.

Dickie Betts & Warren Haynes (The Allman Brothers Band): After Duane Allman’s tragic death, Dickie Betts continued to shine alongside Warren Haynes. Their soulful, blues-infused guitar work carried on the Allman Brothers’ legacy.

Slash & Izzy Stradlin (Guns N’ Roses): Slash’s iconic lead guitar solos and Izzy Stradlin’s gritty rhythm guitar defined Guns N’ Roses’ rebellious sound. Together, they rocked the world with hits like “Sweet Child o’ Mine” and “November Rain.”

Stone Gossard & Mike McCready (Pearl Jam): Stone Gossard’s textured chords and Mike McCready’s emotive solos shaped Pearl Jam’s grunge rock anthems. Their synergy elevated tracks like “Alive” and “Black.”Glenn Tipton & K.K. Downing (Judas Priest): Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing forged the dual guitar attack that defined Judas Priest’s heavy metal sound. 

10. Glenn Tipton & K.K. Downing (Judas Priest): Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing forged the dual guitar attack that defined Judas Priest’s heavy metal sound. Their harmonized leads and aggressive riffs influenced countless metal bands.

11. Charlie Hargrett & Jay Johnson (Blackfoot) Charlie Hargrett was a pivotal guitarist in Blackfoot’s classic lineup. Alongside Rickey Medlocke, he contributed to the band’s signature Southern rock sound. Blackfoot embarked on a tour, and Jay Johnson joined as a guitarist and vocalist. Although not part of the classic lineup, Johnson brought his own flair to the band. His guitar work complemented the legacy left by Hargrett and Medlocke. Together, they kept the Blackfoot spirit alive.

12. Gary Rossington & Allen Collins (Lynard Skynard): When it comes to Lynyrd Skynyrd, the guitar duo that stands out prominently is Gary Rossington and Allen Collins. Let’s dive into their legendary partnership:

Gary Rossington:, As a founding member of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Gary Rossington played a pivotal role in shaping the band’s sound. His soulful and expressive guitar work contributed to hits like “Sweet Home Alabama,” “Simple Man,” and “Tuesday’s Gone” . Rossington’s slide guitar solos and melodic riffs became synonymous with the Lynyrd Skynyrd sound. His ability to blend rock, blues, and country elements created a unique sonic landscape.

Allen Collins: Allen Collins was another key guitarist in the band. His partnership with Rossington created a formidable guitar duo that defined Lynyrd Skynyrd’s dual-guitar sound. The intricate interplay between the two guitarists and their harmonized solos became a hallmark of the band’s live performances, captivating audiences with their dynamic and electrifying stage presence Collins co-wrote many of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s beloved hits, including “Free Bird,” “Sweet Home Alabama,” and “Tuesday’s Gone”.

These guitarists not only complemented each other but also elevated Lynyrd Skynyrd’s music to iconic status. Their legacy lives on, inspiring generations of rock enthusiasts.

[denimbex1986]

'Netflix is about to release a television series where the protagonist will find himself trapped in a web of violence and betrayal that he never expected, as the marketing campaign for Ripley picks up the pace before the show's debut on April. The streaming platform has released new character posters for the upcoming project (via Rotten Tomatoes), giving audiences a new look at the main cast of the series created by Steve Zaillian. During a complicated time in the world, no one can be trusted, but Tom Ripley (Andrew Scott) still has a mission to follow, and he'll stop at nothing to get what he wants.

The premise of Ripley is based on Patricia Highsmith's successful novel, "The Talented Mr. Ripley", which follows the titular character as he is sent to convince an important figure's son, Dickie Greenleaf (Johnny Flynn), to return home. However, upon arriving at Dickie's home, Ripley realizes that he feels jealous about the people who live there, becoming fascinated with Marge Sherwood (Dakota Fanning), a close friend of Dickie's. Without finding a better solution to his problem, Ripley begins to meticulously imitate Dickie, scaring the people he was supposed to protect.

Taking into account how lucky they were to get an impressive cast for their Ripley adaptation, Netflix began to heavily promote the series based on the star power it will bring to the screen. The first trailer for the series made it explicitly clear that Marge doesn't trust the new visitor, setting the stage for the conflict that has entertained audiences for more than half a century. Besides creating the television series, Zaillian wrote the screenplays for it, and he also directed every episode of the story. The filmmaker previously worked as a writer on The Irishman, Martin Scorsese's acclaimed film about a criminal network with plenty of ambition.

The Talented Cast of 'Ripley'

Adapting a story as powerful as the one told in the pages of "The Talented Mr. Ripley" always requires an immense amount of talent, which is why Zillian and Netflix decided to cast Andrew Scott, Johnny Flynn and Dakota Fanning. Scott was recently praised for his performance as Adam in All of Us Strangers, a haunting love story between two men where nothing is as it seems. On the other hand, Fanning recently appeared as Emma Collins in The Equalizer 3, the final installment of Robert McCall's (Denzel Washington) journey as a dangerous vigilante...'

[exitinertianovella]

Too Cool for School

kevin phillips

Teen Angst

Director - Kevin Phillips Writers - Ben Collins + Luke Piotrowski Producers - Richard Peete + Jett Steiger Performers - Tristan Leabu + Esther Zyskind Executive Producer - Lana Kim Cinematographer - Eli Born Production Designer - Evan Schafer Editor - Ed Yonaitis Casting Director - Lauren Grey Sound Design - Colin Alexander Sound Mix - Colin Alexander + Ryan Billa Production Manager - Abby Horton 1st AC - Ryan Dickie Gaffer / Key Grip - Gabe Elder Grip - Leon Izsak Art Dept - Patrick Parker Props - Rob Yapkowitz Colorist - Derek Hansen Color Grade Producer - Summer McCloskey

[we-dont-talk-about-potato-nonono]

W - Without Me - Halsey

E - Earth - Lil Dicky

D - Dollhouse - Melanie Martinez

O - On My Way - Alan Walker

N - Not You - Alan Walker, Emma Steinbakken

T - Tukoh Taka - Nicki Minaj, Maluma & Myriam Fares

T - Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

A - As if it’s your Last - BLACKPINK

L - Last Night - Morgan Wallen

K - Kill 'Em with Kindness - Selena Gomez.

A - Airplanes - B.o.B ft Hayley Williams

B - Blue (Da Ba Dee) - Eiffel 65

O - One Kiss - Calvin Harris, Dua Lipa

U - Uptown Girl – Billy Joel

T - Titanium - David Guetta ft Sia

P - Perfect - Simple Plan

O - Oh no! - MARINA

T - Take On Me - a-ha

A - All About Him - Auburn

T - Thank You - Dido

O - OMG - NewJeans

N - Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley

O - OMG - Usher, will.i.am

N - No - Megan Trainor

O - Once Dance - Drake, Wizkid & Kyla

N - Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

O - One More Night - Phil Collins

@beardedhandstoadshark @dms-saggicorn @thedarkmistress16 i choose youuuuu !!!! <3 uwu 💖

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your URL and tag that many people.

Tagged by @sailforvalinor, and thank you this looks like fun!

Remember and Proclaim (Andrew Peterson)

All I Ask of You (Jackie Evancho)

Innocence (Nathan Wagner)

Níl Sé'n Lá (Celtic Woman)

I Still Need a Savior (Billy Sprague)

No Strings (Ed Sheeran)

Take Me Back Road (Tim & the Glory Boys)

How Great is Our God (Chris Tomlin)

Everything Sad is Coming Untrue (Jason Grey)

El-Shaddai (Amy Grant)

Voice of Truth (Casting Crowns)

Endlessly (Amaranthe)

Not Alone (Red)

I'm an Open Road (Paul Brandt)

Never Leave Your Side (Sam Tinnesz)

Good to Be Alive (Skillet)

Hoo boy, can I think of sixteen people?

@griseldabanks @kraytwriter @kingofattolia @catkin-morgs @clawedandcute @nerdychristianfanboy @steampunk-archer @sergeanttomycaptain @smhalltheurlsaretaken @scribblermerlin @authortobenamedlater @stainedleather @mrtobenamedlater @mrgartist @get-loved-nerd @a-fount-of-blessings (Ignore if this is a repeat tag. Unless you want to do it again. Up to you. :)

[hudgensnews]

We love Ellen ❤️ @vanessahudgens @theellenshow @nataliesaidi @karanmitchellmua @britreece @coreypalent @bhavehair @traceymattinglyllc

[vanessahudgensuniverse]

[alouiadina]

So, a while back, I made a post about a Pride and Prejudice au that I would love for someone to write. Well, I was thinking about it today when I heard someone mention Pride & Prejudice & Zombies, which got me thinking. It's, of course, going to be a little different than my idea for regular p&P. The whole idea is below the keep reading.

So, Gale, like in the other au, is Darcy. It's implied that he's like that, borderline emotionless and very particular/ruthless about taking out zombies is because of his father/parents. This could be discussed during the first zombie attack scene like the one in the movie (idk if it's in the book, I haven't read it, but I think it is)

Now to the farm.

The boys (Crosby, Ken, Brady, DeMarco, Douglass, Blakely, others) are not only work on Bucky's mother's farm along with Bucky because they want/need to, but also for protection. For one reason or another, their homes are no longer safe, and their immediate families separated/no longer living. There could be this heartbreaking thing with like Ken near the end seeing a family member on the other side of the wall. She's the one who sends them to china to start/continue their training.

The drinking that they do typically only happens during parties in places where they can safely sleep it off, or near places where they can sleep it off, like Chick and Jack's house. Otherwise, they keep it at the Egan farm, which occasionally leads to drunken sword fights (with actual swords) (the other kind of swords are used when it's DeMarco/Brady and Blakely/Douglass)

Then the town party happens when Gale, Bubbles, and Rosie move into town. Everyone knows Gale's reputation, whispering behind hands and all. The party scene pretty much the same. Rosie is taken with Ken and Bubbles is taken with Crosby. Gale does not interact with anyone, and Bucky notices, remarking to Curt that Gale must have a stick shoved up his ass.

Curt roasts Bucky for not getting anyone to dance with him, then Bucky overhears Gale insulting Bucky to either Rosie or Bubbles, and then Bucky goes outside in embarrassment, where he runs into a familiar face. Gale kills the familiar face, Bucky insisting the zombie was talking, then other zombies appear, and Bucky and his sibling-like friends go into attack mode. Bucky sees Gale watching him while also fighting other zombies and a brief thought "I may hate his guts, but I wouldn't mind him rearranging mine."

Then Ken is invited over to have lunch/tea with Bubbles, but on is way, runs into a zombie, and suffers a hand injury when his gun backfires. Then, Bucky (and in this version with the company of Crosby) go to visit Ken at what is either now Rosie or Bubbles' house. When they get there, Gale shows Bucky up to Ken while Crosby stays with Bubbles. Gale tries to prove that Ken is infected, Bucky proves otherwise.

With the Collins stuff, I'm thinking the RAF dude is the collins stand in, and that Dickie is a priest-in-training of sorts. RAF dude takes an immediate interest in Ken, but is warned off by either Ma Egan or Curt that Ken, telling him that Ken is basically engaged. Then RAF dude turns his attention to Bucky, who is rightfully hesitant to reciprocate. RAF dude proposes to Bucky but states that he must give up his life as a warrior, something which Bucky refuses to do. While this is happening, Dickie is pursuing Curt.

Haussmann is still the Wickham stand in.

During his early interactions with Bucky, Haussmann begins to poison her opinion of Gale, claiming that Gale had wronged him. He tells Bucky that Gale denied him an inheritance, portraying himself as a victim of Gale’s cruelty and arrogance. Bucky, already predisposed to dislike Gale, is easily swayed by Bucky’s story.

Bucky's opinion of Gale sinks even lower when he along with Rosie and Bubbles leave suddenly, and a letter from either Bubbles or Rosie proves it.

Haussmann takes Bucky to a church where civilized zombies are, which leads to Bucky inviting him along to visit Gale's dad, who's a famous zombie hunter like his son.

Bucky is able to visit Gale's dad, as Curt and Dickie are married at this point, and they're going to visit Gale's dad. That whole thing happens, which eventually leads to Gale proposing to Bucky. They fight as Bucky rejects him, and he doesn't want to admit that he's aroused by this.

Bucky goes on a trip with Jack and Chick, Chick being the closest thing he has to a father since his own passed a while back when the zombies first arose. While on that trip, Bucky receives a letter from Gale. In the letter, Gale confesses that he did indeed interfere in relationships of Ken and Rosie as well as Bubbles and Crosby. Given Crosby’s reserved nature, Gale misread his feelings, and also Crosby and Ken, according to the belief that Gale's father raised him on, they were too poor to be good for his friends. He also reveals Haussmann’s true character, explaining how Haussmann attempted to seduce his dearest friend Marge for her fortune, and how Haussmann has a history of reckless and immoral behavior. 

The whole climax happens because Haussmann lures Ken to the other side of the wall, saying that he's found a thought dead family member (like a sister or parent) and Ken says as much in a letter he's left. Crosby, Bucky, and a few others try to go find Ken. Things happen, there are a few close calls, and Bucky and his friends are sent back to the other side of the wall, but Bucky has an idea where Ken is, telling Gale as such. Gale tells Bucky that the church that he suspect Ken is being held at was overtaken and that Ken was likely dead.

Though distraught over Ken's apparent death, Bucky suspects something is up. On his way to the church, he sees a distraught looking Ken on a horse, riding to the wall. He presses onto the church, getting there in time to save Gale from being killed by (a now revealed undead) Haussmann, who escapes (though Bucky has chopped off his right arm). 

They barely ride across the wall, as it's being blown up as they cross. Thinking that Gale is dead, Bucky kisses him, confessing his feelings. Then, like snow white, Gale awakens kissing Bucky with a fervor, though in severe pain.

After Gale recovers, he proposes to Bucky again, and this time, he accepts. The two have a joint wedding with Rosie and Ken and Bubbles and Crosby.

[brockachu]

You are like my source for sports news, so who do we have confirmed returning to the Canucks for the fall?

omg hey!! it is an honor to be your source, esp since i have been inconsistent af this off-season.

so, from trade deadline onward: we traded motte & hamonic. in free agency, we let go halak (nyr), justin bailey (unsigned), chiasson (unsigned), madison bowey (mtl), lammikko, highmore (stl 😭 my boi my funky boi), brad richardson (unsigned), petan (min), & rempal (vgk). [to be fair, bailey, bowey, petan, & rempal were all mostly ahl]

who we still have: (the following include the upcoming season in the how many seasons we have left of them. when i say ‘to ufa’ that means the contract takes them from being a rfa/entry contract through their ufa qualifying. any not marked ‘rfa’ or ‘to ufa’, the contract ends as ufa)

forwards: petey (2yr, bridge contract, so we’ll have rfa signing rights), brock (3yr to ufa), bo (1yr, ie he’s on a contract season & to ufa), jt (8yr, including his new extension), garland (4yr to ufa), pearson (2yr), dicky (2yr), pod (2yr, entry level, so we’ll have rfa signing rights), dowling (1yr), hoglander (1yr, rfa)

defense: huggy (5yr to ufa), oel (5yr), tymy (2yr), schenn (1yr), dermott (1 yr to rfa, so we get signing rights), burroughs (1yr to ufa), poolman (3yr), brady keeper (1yr to ufa)

goal: demmer (4yr to ufa) & spencer martin (2yr to ufa)

new signings:

ilya mikheyev (4yr, obtained in free agency), andrei kuzmenko (1yr, rfa, signed out of khl); both are forwards & noted they came over at podkolzin’s suggestion, so that may indicate a long-term commitment to pod as well

some ahl guys that we are likely to see called up:

arshdeep bains (3yr, signed out of the whl at the end of this past season, leading whl scorer for 21-22), danila klimovich (3yr, canucks 2nd round pick 2021), sheldon dries (2yr to ufa), will lockwood (1yr, rfa), jack rathbone (2yr, rfa. so help me god if he isn’t called up & doesn’t catch some injury luck this season 😭)

we also currently have 3 goalies in the ahl. god forbid we have to call them up like we did last year, but the likeliest 3rd goalie is collin delia (new signing, 1yr) bc he has the most pro experience (ahl veteran + some backup time in the nhl). the canucks & dipietro’s agents announced a month ago that dipietro is seeking a trade, he’s an rfa at the end of this season & has taken issue with his development path. silovs is still ‘could be an nhl back-up, def can handle ahl starting’, but not experienced enough + would be bad for his development to be the 3rd for call-ups. i’d put money down that unless spencer martin regresses badly, we’ll have both martin & silovs play through their contracts, see which is more affordable w/ consideration for their stats, then keep the cheaper option, but that’s 2 years down the line

and that Should be it. but lmao watch allvin & rutherford pull some joker card i couldn’t imagine 😂

[gijoe-forever]

Stalker originally joined the army seeking a chance to escape from the mean streets of Detroit where he was the warlord of a large urban street gang prior to enlistment. He graduated top of class-Basic Combat Training. Advanced Infantry Training (Top of Class). Special Training: U.S. Army Language School; Intelligence School. His training made him fluent in Spanish, Arabic, French and Swahili.

With the Vietnam War raging he didn't want to worry his mother, so with the help of a cousin stationed in Germany, he pretended to be working there and had his mail rerouted. Others in this Long Range Recon Patrol (L.R.R.P.) team would help him make up stories for his letters home.

He served with both Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow and their experience made them the best of friends. The others in the six-man team were Wade Collins, Dickie Saperstein and Ramon Escobedo. Saperstein and Escobedo were killed in action and the others believed Collins had also perished. After their tour, only Stalker stayed in the military, while Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow went on a long sabbatical training in the art of the ninja. Years later, Stalker, along with Hawk, would be responsible for selecting the members that would comprise the original Joe team. He was, in effect, serving as second in command to Hawk until Duke came on board. He suggested Snake-Eyes for the team and the two went to the High Sierras where they found him and convinced him to join.

[the-brambled-way]

Magic in the Ancient Greek World Recommended Reading List

Disclaimer: This is a list of books and essays recommended for reading and learning about how magic was practiced and perceived in Ancient Greek society. This is not a list about how to practice modern witchcraft. Please use your common sense and critical reading skills when researching any topic. I cannot be held accountable for anything you do with this knowledge.

Books:

Arcana Mundi by Georg Luck

Magika Hiera edited by Christopher A Faraone/Dirk Obbink

Ancient Greek Love Magic by Christopher A Faraone

Magic in the Ancient World by Fritz Graf

Magic in the Ancient Greek World  by Derek Collins

Drawing Down the Moon Magic in the Ancient Greco-Roman World by Radcliffe G. Edmonds III

Greek and Roman Necromancy by Daniel Ogden

Magic, Witchcraft, and Ghosts in the Greek and Roman Worlds by Daniel Ogden

Greek Magic: Ancient, Medieval, and Modern edited by J.C.B. Petropoulos

Oracles, Curses, and Risk Among the Ancient Greeks by Esther Eidinow

Curse Tablets and Binding Spells from the Ancient World by John G. Gager

The Greek Qabalah: Alphabetic Mysticism and Numerology in the Ancient World by Kieren Barry

Witchcraft and Magic in Europe, the Ancient Greece and Rome edition, edited by Bengt Ankarloo and Stuart Clark

The Greek Magical Papyri in Translation edited by Hans Dieter Betz

Techniques of Graeco-Egyptian Magic by Stephen Skinner

Magic and Ritual in the Ancient World. Religions in the Graeco-Roman World edited by Paul Allan Mirecki and Marvin W. Meyer

Magic and Magicians in the Greco-Roman World by Matthew W. Dickie

Ancient Magic and Ritual Power edited by Marvin W. Meyer and Paul Allan Mirecki

Daughters of Hecate : women and magic in the ancient world by Kimberly B. Stratton

Inquiry into Plants by Theophrastus of Eresus (The loeb classical library books are public domain. See them all here.)

Articles/Essays/etc:

Greek Magic, Greek Religion by Robert L. Fowler

Magic in the Ancient Greek World by Werner Riess

Nature, Cause, and Agency in Greek Magic by Derek Collins

Untimely Death, Witchcraft, and Divine Vengeance. A Reasoned Epigraphical Catalog by Fritz Graf

Who Practised Love-Magic in Classical Antiquity and in the Late Roman World? by Matthew W. Dickie

Binding and Burying the Forces of Evil: The Defensive Use of "Voodoo Dolls" in Ancient Greece by Christopher A. Faraone

Molten Wax, Spilt Wine and Mutilated Animals: Sympathetic Magic in near Eastern and Early Greek Oath Ceremonies by Christopher A. Faraone

Vanishing Acts on Ancient Greek Amulets: From Oral Performance to Visual Design by Christopher A. Faraone

Magic, Religion, and Science: Divine and Human in the Hippocratic Corpus by R. J. Hankinson

Magical Amulets by Campbell Bonner

[dweemeister]

The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953)

Theodore Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, remains best-known for his children’s books. The Cat in the Hat; Green Eggs and Ham; and Oh, the Places You’ll Go! are household names in English-language literature. Seuss’ bibliography overshadows his work in films, beginning with the adapted screenplay of his own book, The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins (1943) – directed by George Pal as part of the Puppetoons series. During WWII, Seuss was heavily involved in propaganda films and the Private Snafu (1943-1946) military training films. After the war’s end, Seuss returned to writing children’s books, but also continued to write for movies. The Academy Award-winning animated short film Gerald McBoing-Boing (1950) benefitted from Seuss’ story work, and Seuss’ success there inspired him to write a screenplay for a live-action fantasy film. That screenplay – the unwieldy rough draft coming in at over 1,200 pages – was The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. The eventual movie, produced by Stanley Kramer (1960’s Inherit the Wind, 1961’s Judgment at Nuremberg) and directed by Roy Rowland (1945’s Our Vines Have Tender Grapes, 1956’s Meet Me in Las Vegas) for Columbia Pictures, would be Seuss’ only involvement in a non-documentary feature film.

Like many who speak English as their first language, Dr. Seuss’ books graced my early childhood. So integral to numerous children’s youth is Seuss that his whimsy, wordplay, and authorial stamps are easily recognizable. In that spirit, the cinematic record of live-action Seuss adaptations consists of the scatological Jim Carrey in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) and the visual nightmare that is Mike Myers as The Cat in the Hat (2003). Compared to the original works, both films are ungainly, casually cruel, and overcomplicated. Not promising company for Dr. T. But even taking into account the three animated feature adaptations of Seuss – Horton Hears a Who! (2008), The Lorax (2012), and The Grinch (2018) – and the fact that Columbia forced wholesale deletions from the rough draft script of Dr. T to achieve a feasible runtime, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is arguably the most faithful feature adaptation to Dr. Seuss’ authorial intent and signature aesthetic.

In other words, this is one of the strangest films you may ever encounter. No synopsis I could write in one paragraph will ever capture the film’s bizarreries.

Little Bart Collins (Tommy Rettig) is asleep during piano practice and his teacher, Dr. Terwilliker (Hans Conried), is furious. His overworked, widowed mother Heloise (Mary Healey) intuits Terwilliker’s unrealistic expectations (Terwilliker wants to teach the next Paderewski) towards Bart’s piano skills and inability to concentrate. Heloise also appears to be quietly eyeing the plumber August Zabladowski (Peter Lind Hayes) and his wrench. With the lesson done for the day, Bart falls asleep again. This time, he dreams that Terwilliker is now the leader of the Terwilliker Institute, a pianist supremacy mini-state which is built upon five hundred young pianist slave boys (hence, 5,000 fingers) forcibly playing Terwilliker’s latest compositions. His mother is Terwilliker’s unwilling, hypnotized assistant and plumber August Zabladowski (Hayes is essentially playing the same character, but in a different world) is Bart’s only ally around. Together, Bart and Mr. Zabladowski must evade the Institute’s guards as they attempt to undermine Terwilliker’s plans for his next concert.

In its final form, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is a muddled mess of a story. The analogues between Bart’s reality and his dreams are inconsistent, several would-be subplots never resolve (or at the very least develop beyond a basic idea), and the film’s initial lightness is subject to rapid mood swings that make this picture feel disjointed. Indeed, Seuss’ sprawling social commentary in his first draft – including allegories and themes of post-WWII totalitarianism, anti-communism, and atomic annihilation – is in tatters in this final product. The viewer will witness brief fragments of those ideas, remaining in this movie as the barest of hints of the contents of the original screenplay’s rough draft. Even now, Dr. T inspires psychiatric analyses and accusations that Bart’s relationship with his mother reveals signs of an Oedipal complex (to yours truly, the latter is too much of a reach). The grim nature of Terwilliker Institute renders Dr. T unsuitable for the youngest children. For older children and adults, try going into this movie without expectations of narrative logic and embrace the grotesque aspects that only Seuss could imagine.

If my attempts to describe this movie’s preposterousness through its narrative and screenwriting approach have failed, perhaps I can capture that for you by writing on its technical features.

For its sheer narrative inventiveness – inconsistencies, abrupt tonal shifts, nonsense, and Rowland’s uninspired direction aside – The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T is nevertheless an ambitious film, and Columbia bequeathed a hefty budget to match that ambition. Much of that budget went to the film’s visuals. This is an extravagantly-staged motion picture, as nothing could do Dr. Seuss’ illustrations justice without fully committing to his geometric impossibilities: skyward ladders and improbable connections between rooms, an eschewal of right angles and straight lines, and architecture bound to raise the ire of physics teachers. One could compare this to German Expressionism, but Dr. T’s sets tend not to dictate the film’s mood nor are they subject to high-contrast lighting. Seuss went uncredited as the concept artist on Dr. T, and it was up to Clem Beauchamp (1935’s The Lives of a Bengal Lancer, 1952’s High Noon) and the uncredited matte artists to commit those visuals to the real world. Outside of animated film, Beauchamp and the matte artists succeed in creating twisted sets that seem to leap off the pages of Seuss’ most artistically interesting books. Some of the sets appear too stagebound, but the production design accomplishes its need to resemble a world borne from a fever dream (or, at least, a young pianist’s nightmare).

This movie’s outrageous costume design (other than Jean Louis’ gowns for Mary Healey, the costume designer/s for this film are uncredited) comprises absurd uniforms and two of the most ludicrous hats – the “happy fingers” cap (see photo at the top of this write-up) and whatever the hell Terwilliker dons in the film’s climax – one might ever see in a film. Most of the costumes are laughably impractical and ridiculous to even those without fashion sense. In what might be the tamest example, while working under Terwilliker, Bart’s mother wears a suit that is all business formal on the left-hand side and bare-shouldered, sleeveless, and nightclub-y on the right. The delineation of real life – which barely features in the film’s eighty-nine minutes – and this world of Bart’s dreams could not be any more unambiguous thanks to the combination of the production and costume design work.

The disappointing musical score by Fredrich Hollaender (1930’s The Blue Angel, 1948’s A Foreign Affair) and song lyrics by Seuss rarely connects to the larger narrative unfolding. Seven songs make the final print, with nine (yikes!) Hollaender-Seuss songs ending up on the cutting room floor. Seuss’ wordplay is evident, as are Hollaender’s melodic flourishes. Columbia, a studio not known for its musicals, assembled a 98-piece orchestra – the largest musical ensemble to work on a Columbia film at the time – for The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T alone. That lush sound is apparent throughout for the numerous nonsense songs that color the score in addition to the incidental score. It is unusual to listen to a collection of novelty songs orchestrated so fully. Listen to “Dressing Song: Do-Mi-Do Duds” and its complicated, seeming unsingable lines:

Come on and dress me, dress me, dress me In my peek-a-boo blouse With the lovely inner lining made of Chesapeake mouse! I want my polka-dotted dickie with the crinoline fringe For I'm going doe-me-doe-ing on a doe-me-doe binge!

The rich orchestration seems to hail from a more lavish film. But too many of these songs are scene-specific, and rarely does Hollaender utilize musical quotations from these songs into his score. “Get Together Weather” is delightful, but it seems so isolated from the rest of the film; elsewhere, “The Dungeon Song” exemplifies a macabre side to Seuss seldom appearing in his books. Nevertheless, Hollaender is able to demonstrate his playfulness across the entire film, none moreso during any scene with the bearded, roller-skating twins and the “Dungeon Ballet”, in which the music complements stunning choreography and fascinating props that recall the jingtinglers, floofloovers, tartookas, whohoopers, slooslunkas, and whowonkas from the Christmas television special How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966). Yet, Hollaender’s film score and the soundtrack with Seuss seems to demand something – anything – to tie the entire compositional effort together. Perhaps a song or some cue like that was cut from the film, which is ultimately to its detriment.

Hans Conried (who starred as Captain Hook in Disney’s Peter Pan several months prior to Dr. T’s release) stands out from a decidedly average Peter Lind Hayes and Mary Healey – Hayes and Healey, in a sort of in-joke, were married. Conried’s performance as the sadistic, torture- and imprisonment-happy music teacher can be considered camp, but this is anything but “bad” camp. He throws himself completely into this cartoonish role, sans shame, complete with mid-Atlantic accent, and topped off with exaggerated facial and physical acting that fits this fantasy. As Bart, child actor Tommy Rettig (best known as Jeff Miller on the CBS television series Lassie) seems more assured in his performance than most child performers his age during the 1950s. His fourth wall-breaking asides seem more appropriate in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but Rettig makes it work, and inhabits Bart’s flaws wonderfully.

Columbia demanded numerous reworkings of Seuss’ script, leading to several reshoots – most notably the opening scene (Seuss opposed the conceit of Bart’s dream framing the film) – and a ballooning budget. Upon its release in the summer of 1953, The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T bombed at the box office and was assailed by critics. A crestfallen Seuss, who could not stand the production difficulties that beset the film from the start of shooting, would never work in feature films again. He would dedicate himself almost entirely to writing and illustrating children’s books, with many of his most popular titles (including The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, and Green Eggs and Ham) published within a decade of Dr. T’s critical and commercial failure. His hesitance to participate in filmmaking informed his reluctance to allow Chuck Jones to adapt How the Grinch Stole Christmas! thirteen years later. Animation suited his books, Seuss thought, and he would never again pay any consideration to live-action filmmaking.

The reevaluation of The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T has seen a rehabilitation of the film’s image in recent decades. Home media releases and television showings have introduced the film to viewers not influenced by the hyperbolic negativity of the film critics working in 1953. This is not a sterling example of Old Hollywood fantasy filmmaking, due to a heavily gutted screenplay, scattershot thematic development, and incongruent musical score. Yet, the movie’s surrealistic charms and Seussian chaos know no peers, even in the present day.

My rating: 7/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.