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Diary Entry 1
Today, my adventure began! I was ambushed on my way to Baldur's Gate, and a member of the Flaming Fist was thoroughly impressed with my use of *True Strike*. They invited me to join their ranks!
I was instructed to find Captain Zodge, and I soon encountered him and his unit attempting to quell the start of a riot. While observing the scene, I noticed an assassin sneaking up on the captain, and I quickly cast *Sanctuary* just as she pulled a dagger on him. The assassin was a short woman with green eyes. Upon inspection, a Hellrider’s emblem was discovered on her chest, and I was informed of the tension between the Flaming Fist and the Hellriders. A fellow Fist cut off the assassin’s tongue—something I didn’t agree with, though I was in no position to protest. The woman fled toward Wyrm's Crossing.
The captain told me about a spy named Tarina who frequents the Elfsong Tavern. She is gathering information for the Flaming Fist and apparently owes the captain a favor. I was tasked with discreetly obtaining information about the “Dead Three” from her.
At the tavern, I met three employees: Felton, Ymir, and Alan, who served me a drink called the Ghost's Song—a fruity blue beverage that was surprisingly good! While trying to figure out which woman was Tarina, I ended up speaking with Rahima. She turned out to be from the area and a follower of Savras, the God of Divination and Fate. She invited me to play a round of *Baldur’s Bones*, and we bet 65 gold. To my astonishment, I won, despite it being my first time playing the game.
Soon after, a group of eight men entered the tavern, announcing they were looking for the cheater named Tarina. Their leader was a terrifying figure, with only one eye. They cornered Tarina and held a dagger to her throat. I couldn’t allow them to kill my informant, so I sprang into action. I fought the leader, Deadeye, who managed to stab me in the left shoulder with his rapier (writing this is painful, but I must record it). Despite the injury, I landed a solid hit with my dagger. During the skirmish, Tarina pulled out her hand crossbow and shot Deadeye in his remaining eye—he should probably be called *Deadeyes* now. He dropped his vest and retreated with his men.
Afterward, Tarina revealed that their group is called the Uncivil Servants. We split the gold found in Deadeye’s vest pouch, and I quickly began gathering the requested information from her.
Tarina told me that several blocks northeast, there is a bathhouse with a walled garden and frolicking nymphs carved into the front gates. Followers of the Dead Three have been seen entering and exiting the bathhouse. Inside, there is a secret door leading to a dungeon, which is likely their base of operations. I need to report this back to Captain Zodge!
#dungeons and dragons#creative writing#dnd#rpg#character design#descent into avernus#character journal#original character#diary entry 1#Lissidy Journal
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ramblings of a single woman
i have recently been playing "breakup" music nonstop on spotify. no particular reason why; i haven't been on a date in almost a year now, and have been perpetually single throughout my life.
discovering that i am a "hyper-independent" person (and that there are other people like me) has made me feel a lot more comfortable with the fact that i have not been in a full blown partnership with anyone in my entire life. sure i have dated, been in the talking stage, made out with people, and all that jazz, but just not in a official relationship where me and my partner are only seeing each other.
my friends have always seem like they looked down on me, or thought they were more experienced than me because of their past relationships. however, they have always entered relationships with immature and/or clingy people. this is like the most unappealing thing to me.
i have recognized that i do not need a partner in any capacity. being in a relationships is not a necessity for me. there is nothing about a partnership right now that i need or want to focus on. i am graduating with a B.S. in three week, starting a new job in five weeks, and figuring out the rest of my life fairly within that time as well, so i have a lot on my plate right now. adding another person to my life is definitely not something i need
so why did i start searching again knowing that everything that i just stated is true to who i am?
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11/28/24
decided to turn this account into a diary bc why not. i need to let out some thoughts but have always felt discouraged to do so. maybe this will be something to look back on or, when you have anxiety about death like me, can look back to who i really was as a person. i have bad anxiety about shit like that, leaving behind the ones i love. mainly bc life is so good right now & worth living, but my brain is always suspicious of it going so well. i know i should see a therapist but in this economy, i don’t have the money to be hopping around to find the right therapist. they’ve all been so unhelpful for me & every session feels so robotic. i envy those who have good relationships with their therapist but im also a skeptic. what if shitty people go to therapy not to better themselves but just to pay someone to validate their feelings. validate. god im so tired of that word honestly. ever since ppl started using therapy talk to cover their shitty actions work their “no that’s so valid” “your feelings are valid but…”
it’s thanksgiving today. i had a little stomach bug so i couldn’t enjoy the food as much as i wanted to. spent time with my bf & family so that’s always a good time. other than that i don’t have much to say.
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Idk when or if I'll be able to be happy again. Can't even recall the last time I felt happy.
Isn't it amazing how life just kicks you when you've already been through shit?
Listening to 'Hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have' by Lana Del Rey because, ofcourse I am.
And I can't share this with actual people without being a constant bummer or them just trying to one-up me or say, "oh people have it so much worse"
Yeah, ik that and it's not helping anybody by your reminding that. Thanks tho.
#diary entry 1#i guess I'm gonna use Tumblr as my diary after all#haven't written a poem n don't feel like doing that rn anyway so here it is#my rants
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Hello may 31th anon! Look at that, another year behind us and a new one to come. Have a nice day! ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡
#may 31th anon#hello friends!! (。’▽’。)♡ how are you!! I missed you so much!#I'm sorry that once again i have not been posting but I did that thing again where I got scared of posting#I do not know why but it is the same with physical paper diarys#I have 3 diarys and they all have 1 entry#I think one just says 'I am ten'#what have you been up to!! did you do something fun? is it summer too where you live? c:#my tumblr messages seem to be broken! I'm sorry if you wrote something :C it just says 'no new messages' despite also saying new messages#not a lot has happened here! I got a tomato plant and then I got very invested into the tomato plant and I have eaten three tomatos so far (#my roses are also doing well!! I just got a new yellow rose and since she got here she only made orange flowers#I do not know the meaning of that#but I am very thankful! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡ I love it when things are orange!!#I've been trying to buy an orange shirt for the past 2 weeks but they always sell out before I get to them#I'm also thinking about buying a jean jacket#I have not worn a jean jacket for at least 15 years because one time in 7th grade tthe girl behind me said#that I was wearing a cool jean jacket and I just assumed that this was bullying for no actual reason#but maybe she just thought that it was an acutal cool jean jacket#we'll soon have out 10 year school reunion#maybe I should ask her#is anyone else going to a secret Sherlock phase again#I just want to see that silly little hat again#would sherlock holmes wear a jean jacket#have a nice day everyone!!#see you soon hopefully!!#♡^▽^♡
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hi guys! (a few snippets from my life that aren’t books)
it’s been a hot minute since i’ve hopped on here with study updates and it’s because my exams ended a few weeks ago now. finally !! 🥳 and that explains my absence
the new semester starts in a few weeks and we’ll be choosing an optional subject for it. i must say im rather excited for it this time. the first semester in law was new and rough however this time im prepared :)
see you guys in a few :)
#studyblr#study blog#academia#student life#study motivation#studyspo#college#collegelife#study aesthetic#study inspiration#law studyblr#study space#study notes#catedemia#study#law student#study inspo#studying#studyspiration#academic validation#dear diary#digital diary#diary entry#tumblr diary#study mood#end of semester#fuck this semester#semester 1#study rant#law studies
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new f1 fans are so delusional i can't wait to see the hope leave their eyes as verstappen takes yet another win
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i rlly need to play postal 1.Ihave it downloaded i just havent gotten around to ut(oops
#postal#postal 1#postal dude#sorry about the braces.im going crazy#his little diary entries seem so interesting i NEED to play it#i dont like the coat that much
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My favourite quotes and facts from "Wolfgang Graf Berghe von Trips - Biographie von Reinold Louis'
Warning: I've been translating this book from German to English as I read and took down notes, so some of the quotes are not grammatically correct or sound off due to the translator
• He believed in God
• His mother nicknamed him 'Little Wolf'
• Up until age six Wolfgang von Trips grew up alone away from children, so when he first went to school with others he was beaten by mean kids as he didn't know how to interact around them
• "I was never beaten. With one exception: when I was said to have lied, which wasn't true. I was always raised to be completely honest and have always followed this. That's why I was incredibly insulted at the time because people didn't believe me and because I felt the punishment was unfair." -p23
• The first time he drove a car on public roads was when he was 14 and out horse riding with his dad. His dad's horse got spoked and his dad fell off and smashed his nose. Wolfgang was unable to keep control of his horse so had to let him go and hope he went back the stable (which he did) while Wolfgang ran home, told his mum what had happened and got a family car out, drove it through the village to his dad and then drove him to the doctors
• "I had to stand in front of this Christmas tree and the nativity scene and recite my Christmas poem: 'I come from deep in the forest, I have to tell you, it's very Christmassy...' The memory of this is very deeply embedded in me. -p26
• Wolfgang was intrested in astronomy but never got the time to look more into it
• He didn't like spinach
• "What I saw of the war back then, what I had to go through myself, affected me very much and, as they say, I literally collapsed and was then sent home." - p34
• "I said that I was once very idealistic and devoted myself to all things that in our country were called war and defense of the fatherland. And now the war was lost. That was actually a complete inner breakdown for me because I simply didn't know where I belonged now." - p37
• "I had never been on a motorcycle before, so I had a crazy fear of the monster. But I dreamed of her and I wanted to take her to bed with me." - p42
• When Wolfgang was at his boarding school with his car, him and his friends would sneak over into the French border in his car and smuggle back wine to drink
• Wolfgang was arrested once in front of the British soilders as he had been trading farm food for tyres with a British soilder but then the British soilder died and some other soldiers discovered the tyres on Wolfgangs car and thought he had stole them
• "First day alone on Kreuzeck then Zugspitze, met 2 girls. Next day Wank. Met the ice revue girls again in the evening. Lived near me. From then on we toured together. Both quite nice. One too sensible. Other fall in love with me. Those were nice days"
• "I don't have a single real friend there either. I socialize like that with everyone, but it's not the right thing. The boys are completely different from here." - P49
• Wolfgang really liked going to the cinema, he saw films like 'The last Veil', 'People from the variety show' and 'Son ein Früchtenchen'
• At his apartment when at school he loved to sleep on his balcony when it was hot
• "It's actually funny, I still don't have a girlfriend, I have to laugh sometimes, and there aren't many sensible girls around either." - p50
• "I'm currently lying in my castle with my head under a deck chair because of the sun, eating crumble cake and drinking Biomaris. The boy is racing around like crazy trying to get to the girls. One of them keeps looking at him challengingly and it drives him completely crazy. I haven't met anyone yet, I'm just lazing around in the area." - p51
• "I haven't been happy with myself for a long time. The swing, the fresh naturalness, etc. have been lost to me here.But I don't want to believe what mom says about vapid selfishness. I defend myself against it. Must be different. Self-aggrandizing. I look bad, she says almost every time lately. I'm kind of weird too. Sometimes I don't feel completely healthy. Right now I'm ok." - p65
• Wolfgang von Trips was forced to leave his school as he wasn't doing well in his classes. He could recognise this and knew that he had no motivation for school as it was making him very lazy because he didn't have the energy to do well. All that brought him joy was his motorbike racing that he had started to pick up.
• His was then sent to another school to focus more on agriculture and found the people he was with more interesting than previously
• He didn't always eat well so his parents had it arranged that he could go to a hotel and get food whenever he wanted however when he wanted to buy a car he made a deal with the hotel that he wouldn't eat there anymore in exchange for the money his parents said and the hotel can pretend he was eating there
• "I was really afraid of death when I heard Beethoven's piano sonata op. 111" - p85
• "And then I'm so tense, kind of nervous. It's also because I deal with too many people and this causes me to tear myself apart. I don't have a steady girlfriend, sometimes I flirt with Erika Perps, then I'm with Erika Nies and Birgitta, I keep an iron in the fire everywhere and yet I'm not really friends with anyone" - p88
• "I'm not okay. I think Rosa likes me. It's a strange relationship between us. Somehow I know she's not right for me. I like her a lot and it's also very practical, but I've been looking for something else for a long time, but I don't have the energy to, firstly, get away from it and, secondly, to find a really nice, lovely girl who I like and who has something It requires striving for something more formed and more stable. Well, let's see how everything goes. I already had an unpleasant thing with my mother because of it. She spoke to Rosa's mother about us and this trivial matter turned into an embarrassingly stupid one because this one comment about her son-in-law was made to Heinz who told me about it. I stupidly raged at mom and now she snapped. Well, okay again now. Firstly, it's embarrassing for me and secondly, I definitely don't want anyone to say or suspect anything about Rosa and me in any circles. I wouldn't be happy with that." - p91
• "Unfortunately, I'm afraid of feelings and can't live them out or give myself up to surrender to them. I'm not honest with myself. Even with girls. I always played, never admitted my feelings, not even to Mira or to myself. Erika and Rosa now live together. Is it better for me? Erika is a lovely guy, I like him very much. Had some wine and liqueur last night. Was one with Rosa an hour alone in the room. Usual scuffle, she was very soft and had tears in her eyes as I tormented her with words. I like them, that's very clear, but somehow I have an obstacle. I'm almost afraid to bring about a discussion, an understanding, because then I no longer feel free and I don't want to commit myself under any circumstances, especially not in this case. It would be nice to simply like a person and know that they like you and to have mutual understanding and a feeling of togetherness. Then again I think it wasn't real with her and I'm too ashamed to reveal myself. But it's just the way it is, when you're intimate with a person, something has to say about whether you want to overcome me and I have it here or not. (Just writing this down now costs the fear of saying too much. But that also depends on the object.) Oh, what I would give for the moment when I could write affirmatively with all my heart here in this book "I'm in love" to show myself like that to people and calmly to the world around me. I'm sure I have these feelings now too, and sometimes I'm quite happy when I'm with her. But it annoys me that there is no one else where, as I said, I could freely admit it." - p94
• "The last few days have been completely under the influence of Marlene, my entire day thinking only revolved around her. Especially when I'm alone, I torment myself with the idea of having to leave in a few days and then not seeing her again. I've never experienced anything like that in my life and I'm completely blown away. When I'm with her it's a little different, you don't think like that. But it's true that I love her very much. I've never seen a girl like that before, she's pretty much what I dreamed of, a real young, completely untouched girl. Think she loves me too. Went with her last night to the fireworks in a neighboring town (with her sister, her fiancé and an Englishman who, unfortunately, he was visiting her). I was able to curl up and walk along the bank with her. I could barely hold a conversation, it was strange. I always have the specter of never seeing her again and I'm just different in everything when I'm with her. There are no words to describe what it was like, I can only state the facts, not the feeling. Maybe later I'll remember how I suddenly took her in my arms and kissed her, not on the mouth. I took it easy for a moment and I've never seen a girl feel like that. Think it was her first hug. God, I want to capture all of this, but when I think about yesterday and read it now... You can't express it in a few words. was as if they were together men would sink. I don't know, she became very soft and walked completely differently without any support. I would have loved to tease her. Had to go back soon. She kept saying “you” to me. I asked her if she would like to have me. She evaded the fact that I would soon be leading. But she said that until now she had raved and was happy with a few boys and now that she had met me something had torn inside her. Have to ask her again what she means by that. Maybe things will actually get better once I'm gone. But now I have a fear of the descent that doesn't leave me alone all day long. This afternoon I lay in my bed and cried like a little girl. Child. Baseless. Then I slept a bit and then went for a swim, but always brooding and longing for Marlene. On Friday I was in Friborg with her and the really nice Englishman (I could kill him) in a '50 Pontiac Hydromatic. It cost me 150 francs, but I was with her. Sometimes she looks at you. I notice I'm going crazy, will it be over soon? Don't think so. It's pretty deep, but what should I do? Hopefully I can get her alone again, it's not easy. I never thought something like this could happen to me. I'd better stop writing, it'll all come out of one thing. I'm in love, I'm loved too, but what's the use? Lausanne-Cologne-Benefeld is too far, hopefully I'll probably get over it soon and so will she, the little one. But one more thing as a fact: I don't smoke anymore and not as long as I have my love for her. Hold on too, I know that..." - p98/99
• "I just have times when I have no vitality, I don't do anything, I'm tired and I see everything as if through a veil, I can't find an excuse for anything and I completely lose connection with the past and the future. By that I mean that all plans are forgotten and nothing is carried out what was planned. That nothing is planned for the future and that all further thoughts are no longer there, there is nothing that could give me a boost. Then the picture suddenly changes. You remember the good streak again, pick up old plans, make new ones, feel good and just have it no longer have these dragging feelings like before, is somehow freer, as if freed from a nightmare and can do something. I just want to know how this is connected, whether it's purely physical in nature is or whatever comes into" - p112
• Wolfgang would feel very depressed being back at home after he finished school. He felt trapped and being alone without any young friends was tough on him.
• Wolfgang has commitment issues and he found it hard announcing it to the world his feelings and that he is intrested in someone. Instead he preferred to hide it all.
• Wolfgang found it hard to figure out if what he felt towards a woman was love or infatuation. He would have sex with the girls he knew but was very hesitant to have relationships. His feelings would change quickly and he could quickly loose intrest. He did love Rosa a bit but not to the extent that she loved him
• He tried to quit smoking a few times but it would always come back
• "I actually like dancing, not very well, but I like it. I really like jazz music gladly. I also like classical music, thanks to my mother. My mother has a very great understanding of music. She used to play the piano herself, almost to the point where she was ready for a concert, and that's why we often had it in our house good music, piano concerts and stuff, heard. I was exposed to jazz music through the colored Americans with whom I had these discussions. They often played their records during the day and told me a lot about jazz." - p121
• "The days with Marlene in Heidelberg and Stuttgart were nice, but they could no longer be what being with the girl meant to me back in Switzerland. I was really in love then, but now I saw a lot of things with different eyes. Maybe my whole inner hollowness and apathy is partly to blame, but mainly the fact that the charm of the unspoken and very tender, unconscious and, to me, so foreign way of approaching and communicating with a girl doesn't mean anything under normal circumstances is extraordinary and therefore only the appeal of the real A very touching and very delicately hinted caress remains." - p121/122
• "then the moment comes when I'm standing on the street in Cologne and see the buyer driving away on my motorcycle, my R 51. My motorcycle, which carried me through the years, which was, so to speak, my everything, with which I drove to all my events and visited my girlfriend! This piece of my life was suddenly taken away by someone else! Then my world collapsed inside me, it was terrible, I stood there and wanted to cry" - p136
• "Wolfgang has a lot of self-doubt during this phase. He simply lacks a conversation partner with whom he can exchange ideas, who can inspire him or who can provide him with assistance in some other way. He often sits alone in his second room in Brühl and sees writing letters as the only way to express his thoughts" - p138
• "I sometimes see myself as the offspring of a rich family who races in his youth and has no idea about anything and no more money when he gets old. I dont want that...I still have to learn something, but I can't stop driving, I'm too invested in it." - p144
• "As I turned more and more to the car, this began to fade because I suddenly had something else on the side that I hadn't had before. She actually gave us the impetus, as they say, to break things off. Of course, I initially rejected this. Then, when she noticed that I was slipping more and more into this car atmosphere, I wrote She told me that it would be better if we separated so that we wouldn't destroy our beautiful memories too. It can no longer be the way it was anyway. All of this went through my head again when I didn't turn right as usual, but instead stayed on the motorway and continued driving. That was a moment I will never forget because it was probably the final crossroads. But at that moment I also realized that from now on a new life will begin for me and that everything will somehow be completely different. Actually, I was kind of happy about it. It was something new and I really threw myself into it and dedicated my heart and soul to this driving." - p146
• ">Ovo con salato - that was the first Italian I heard and that I wrote it down in my diary, and I always remember this “ovo con salato” fondly. So we all ate egg and salad and then it was time to go to our hotel, the address of which had been written down for us and which was in Gardone Val frompia. That was such a nice sounding word and I thought it was so great, that I constantly said it to myself, yes I had to say it because I often said it afterwards had to ask for directions. >Excuse me, where to Gardone Val Trompia? I had to learn this sentence by heart that evening and yet everything was so great for me that I hardly slept the rest of the night because of my excitement." - p147
• "But what moved me the most was the fact that I, who only had a shirt and trousers to wear, received a white overall from the Porsche mechanics with the words “Porsche” clearly visible on the back. That was really great for me" - p148
• "Helmut is very excited: Your parents are standing back there, I think they've already recognized me. What we do?" So I turn around very carefully and I see my mother with the binoculars, looking right at me. So there was nothing to be done and so I half a good face made the bad game and waved. She then waved and I went over to her to the delight of the audience in the stands who were watching everything. I found a place with my parents and from the stands watched the race for the “European Grand Prix,” which Juan Manuel Fangio won in the new Mercedes-Benz. I don't remember much else because the big races were at that time outside of my sphere of interest" - p157
• "When he took part in motorcycle competitions as one of the "three wild pigs", Rolf Clasen's wife always packed an extra package of sandwiches "ur da Jung" in his storage bag. And after he switched to a pumped Porsche, his sports mates Friedrich Victor H and Hans Lappe supplied him with food during racing events and the cook at eese Rolff often opened her pantry in the evenings when Wolfgang was on his way home" - p167
• "'Well, boy, now listen. You are now the young guy in the racing team and maybe you are even faster than Karl Kling. But it's certainly more intelligent if you stay behind him, because he's the big driver now, and since he wants to step down soon, it would certainly be better and so...” And so on. There I stood, a little embarrassed and didn't know how to behave" - p185
• "Then I was allowed to drive three laps and get out again. I was never told what times I achieved. Nobody cared about me. There was not a word of recognition, no advice or criticism. Nothing came, nothing at all and, to be honest, I was very embarrassed. Only one person took the time to talk to me and that was Juan Manuel Fangio. We didn't have a common language, but his comradely care for me, a newcomer, was evident in every gesture he made and in every word he spoke, which I mostly only partially understood. I never forgot that, even in later years when I was more firmly in the saddle and had found my own way, and I believe that there is no better way to carry and preserve the memory of the great man and racing driver Fangio than trying to emulate him in every way. Looking back, I don't want to blame anyone, because before this race everyone had to deal with themselves. It was quite a burden and I also had to master this car at speeds that were completely unknown to me up to that point" - p191
• Wolfgang experiences Christmas and the New Year on the high seas. Peter Collins is not only an ideal travel companion for him, but he is active also with great success as an entertainer for the passengers. If he his When stories are told about racing cars, the slopes and colleagues, those standing by listen, fascinated and mostly smiling. The ship is anchored in Montevideo for two days because the cargo has to be unloaded. After an afternoon stroll through the city, two passengers are missing: Peter Collins and a young Brazilian woman who got on in Rio. Excitement on board, especially with Wolfgang. The ship finally sets off half an hour late. Peter suddenly appears from the crowd on land collins at a stretched trot, holding the girl by the hand. Wolfgang has his film camera at hand and captures this scene. Collins gesticulates to find someone who is chasing the dwindling steamer with him and the girl in an ancient tucker boat. Hundreds Pairs of eyes follow the maneuver from the deck. The ship has to hey and shorten the distance. Sailors have already started down a gangway. The “pursuers” found it difficult to keep up with Taempo, but that made little sense because the distance was increasing instead of decreasing. Wolfgang rushes to the captain with two other passengers. When the command "Slow speed ahead" got to the engine room, the Boce got them. The two of them climbed on board with embarrassed faces. A nice spat from the captain follows and Collins, who was wrong about the time, falls out of favor with the passengers." - p229/230
• "An English friend Peter Collins dispelled all my doubts and persuaded me. I also have him to thank for the fact that my first racing adventure in a formula car ended well." - p231
• "I was amazed at the endless patience of Peter Collins, who came to me after every lap and told me what I had done wrong" - p232
• "I stood there closed my eyes, thought of an extreme curve and mentally performed everything that I had tried in vain to master during training. >Approach the curve, brake carefully, let it slide away, not too much, accelerate. How many times have I repeated this and muttered it to myself, rehearsed it in my head? I don't know it. Anyway, Mike Hawthorn poked me in the ribs and asked: >What about you? Are you crazy?<" - p232
• "Finally he arrived, and sure enough, he rolled up to the pits. I can't remember why I already had my helmet on and my gloves on, but that's how it was. All I had to do was get in the car and drive off. Nevertheless, my throat almost constricted with excitement. Galt. Maybe Collins' stay in the pits isn't mine at all? Then he waved to me. I couldn't believe he meant me and looked around for Mike Hawthorn, who was standing nearby. But Mike acted as if it was none of his business, even though it would have been his turn if Peter Collins had wanted to get out.. 'Come on, get away,' Collins said to me as he got up from the cockpit, and Icha was in the Formula 1 car faster than I had hoped and dreamed." - p233
• "I felt an exhilarating feeling because I knew that I had joined the circle of Grand Prix drivers and was accepted. But I also knew that I still needed a lot to become a master like my friend Peter Collins, who had selflessly given me a chance." - p233
• "Wolfgang races over a bumpy railway crossing.The car jumps almost a meter high and Wolfgang's provisions are thrown out. Now he only has his pocket supply of glucose at his disposal. And it runs out quickly. Wolfgang's physical strength dwindles, his concentration wanes, he becomes slower." - p240
• Enzo Ferrari definitely should have cut off Wolfgang's beard after this sensational placement. Because the Commendatore made Wolfgang's entry subject to the condition that if he placed from third place upwards, Wolfgang's memory of the Nürburgring accident would have to fall victim to the scissors. At the finish, however, Enzo Ferrari generously waived the agreement and so the "goatee" still adorns Wolfgang's chin when he is a guest at the Frankfurt Motor Show in October and is there for the press. dien poses. Huschke von Hanstein then had a brilliant idea. And so it happens that Wolfgang appears at the exhibition in the morning with a beard and in the afternoon, in a different wardrobe, shows up without a beard and asks an industrial boss, who rubs his eyes in surprise, whether he hasn't seen his brother." - p249
• "You talk about shifting your values - I think that's only partly true. You already have the ability to love within you - but, I think, over time you have simply forgotten how to properly analyze your feelings. And so you have deceived people. I bet it's women who accuse you of callousness and coldness, women who hoped you would do things and do things that Dua can't do, for the one reason that your whole 'I', your whole life, your longing and suffering has a motto that doesn't tolerate rivals or secondary feelings: racing - you're a man possessed somewhere, that's not good because you're sacrificing too much, putting too much into one thing." - a letter sent to Wolfgang from a friend, p 271
• "Wolfgang makes garden plans, he “dusts off” the castle. His mother, a great supporter of natural medicine, keeps dozens of types of tea in a cupboard, almost all of which are so old that there is only tea dust in the boxes and bags. This is a thorn in Wolfgang's side and when his mother is absent again, he removes all the teas from the cupboard, buys a new cupboard and fills it with freshly bought tea herbs. His secretary's horrified question, 'Is this okay? he answers in his own way: >I want to tell you one thing, Ms. Floßdorf. If my mother finds out and I'm still here, I'll be hanging from a tree. But you’re right next to it!” »Me, why me? >You didn't stop it and you didn't tell my mother!" - p278
• "He, who has always gotten along well with Mike, finds this way of dying particularly tragic. A few days later he also expressed his condolences to Enzo Ferrari" - p178
• Count Crashes is what the English dubbed him after his spectacular fall into the rose bush at Monza. The aura of “Graf Bruchs” preceded him to the USA. But the Americans give it a different name: they call it Tattys respectfully and this name was first used by immigrants from Wales to describe people who, because of their courage and fearlessness, were exemplary and outstanding in the settlement of the former “Wild West”. were. Taffy, that's what most of his racing colleagues call him, is what journalists in newspapers, magazines and radio stations call him. And "Taffys is a popular and skillful interview partner and when his bright and bold boyish face with his lively gray eyes flashes across the American television stations in the bungalows, palaces, apartments, living rooms and even slums and he speaks easily in a bright voice, answers easily, even downright effervescently, then many a “lady” or “mommy” looks at the television screen with interest and fascination and lets the cooking pot be the cooking pot or the ice in the whiskey glass melting. Even after races, when only the stripes around his eyes are white because his racing goggles have kept away the dirt that has been swirling up over many hours, when his face is smeared and his hair is sticky with sweat, his entire appearance still reminds you of you Aristocrats and in his verve Robert Redford, who is already at the top of women's favor" - p 280
• "Wolfgang, who has been looking after young talent in motorsports for some time and always strives to get young athletes off the road and onto the safe airfield racing tracks for many people in the clubs." - p293
• 'Elfriede Floßdorf constantly supplies the beautiful Sicilian from Horem with “Muesli à la Wolfgang”, made from oat flakes, fresh fruits and honey from Hemmersbach production. When visiting Catania, Wolfgang can rely on a well-loved and familiar meal thanks to the care and provision of his secretary. Whenever possible, Wolfgang prefers "his" muesli to any other meal and when there are races in Spa-Francorchamps, the Nürburgring or Hockenheim, Elfriede is always there with fresh muesli to please the "Mr. Count" - like her yourself always expressed to seekers - to keep them strong and happy. His muesli also gives Wolfgang the strength he needs in the 1000 km race at the Nürburgring." - p295
• "When his parents are absent for a long period of time, he "makes a point of doing things." In the absence of a key to the room, which can only be accessed from the outside, he simply breaks a window and gains access. Then we tidy up, clear out and rearrange and finally a beautiful room is created that, after breaking through the door, can now be accessed directly from the castle" - p295
• "A second telephone is right next to her bed, because Wolfgang has the habit of calling almost always and from everywhere, just like that ask questions and give instructions. His many starts and trips in South and North America and later in South Africa mean that most of the calls come at night. When the phone rings on Parkstrasse in Horrem after midnight and Elfriede Floßdorf answers, his recurring question is also a greeting: "Have you slept yet?" - p313
• "Wolfgang is one of the witnesses and at the wedding banquet in the "Stallmästergarden" he has the Swedish Princess Birgitta as his table lady. This doesn't catch him unprepared, because Joakim has prepared him for it: "You will be Princess Birgitta's cavalier and that's why it would be good if your tailcoat, which has been under a lot of wear and tear recently, is thoroughly cleaned up." - p 315
• “They were color films, bright colors, but the most beautiful thing about them was what the young count said about them. It just bubbled out of him, and if these two hours could have been broadcast on television, it would have been one of the best. nest programs that have ever been shown." - p 316
• "But what was most charming was his lovely smile and the lively humor with which he knew how to spice things up without meaning to. You had to like Trips, even though he hasn't become a Fangio or a Caracciola yet." - p 316
• "And I believe that the moment we manage to use a technical object to increase our joy in life, our joy in learning - it takes a lot of learning to master such an instrument - and use it in sporting competition , we are not on the wrong path." - p 330
• To declare the right to want to practice our sport without hostility and defamation. We have to express that we cannot do this in the desired form under the current conditions because we lack events and people are negative, almost hostile, towards us . We have to find ways to exercise that exclude the dangers that motorsport has so far become famous for. We must present clear figures about events in England and America and make it clear that we motorsport enthusiasts are no longer willing to be treated as stepchildren.The event must be held in a representative setting. If possible, all sports and racing vehicles in Germany should be exhibited." - p 335
• "Now guess where I was?” The Floßdorf couple, once again brought out of their sleep by Wolfgang to gain entry to the castle and give him his keys, look puzzled. 1a in South Africa...< says Elfriede and husband Willi wants to add something, but he is interrupted by Wolfgang: »I was with the “good Lord”!” "Where were you?!" I gush about the events of the last few days I celebrated New Year's Eve with the Good Lord. You're amazed, aren't you?" Wolfgang's only joy is that he celebrated the turn of the year with the Aga Khan and many guests in his residence together with Princess Gabrielle of Savoy, whom he greatly admired, daughter of the Italian ex-King Umberto." P337
• "Let me tell you a short episode. I was racing with Fangio in Argentina and Fangio flew out of a corner in front of me due to a driving error. We talked about it afterwards and he said to me: 'Yes, I just made a mistake!< You see, a person like Fangio, who for us and especially for me is the greatest driver of our time, even he can fly out of a curve due to a driving error. For me it was, I would almost say, a great experience because I saw that even a driver as perfect as Fangio is ultimately still a person who constantly has to work harder." - p 343
• "This may sound strange, but I just don't have the energy to shake very many hands, so I usually put my hands in my pockets and just nod my head. So this is not rudeness on my part, just a protective device. Because many people think that I have to say goodbye particularly nicely." - p 366
• "There is a happy and exuberant atmosphere at the evening party. Wolfgang leads his guests through the old moated castle and some of the 45 rooms and shows them the sauna he built himself. Joakim Bonnier knows Hemmersbach almost better than he does at home in Sweden, because he is a guest here, often with his wife, and is always welcome. The guests are impressed by the castle." - p 396
• "The next morning he came for breakfast, we stayed together with small interruptions until the afternoon, swam and while we lay in the garden and enjoyed the sun, I prayed that time would stand still - but the good Lord was not merciful. And Then the moment came when he stood calmly in front of me and told me to keep my ears straight - and his last look, those laughing eyes, comforted me..." - p 399
#this took a long time to read#but it was worth it#I've learnt so much about Wolfgang von Trips#and I loved reading his diary entries#classic f1#f1#formula one#formula 1#vintage f1#wolfgang von trips
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I Know kim and harry literally index the case using the date 08/03 suggesting this is the date of day 1 however ruby's diary entry says M's peone is coming to martinaise to investigate on the Ninth (and besides, it doesnt fit with the date of death being the fourth and that the corpse has been hanging for seven days as of day 1). might the index just use eg the date the corpse was reported to the rcm rather than the date assigned officers actually make it to the scene
#in which case day 1 is on the eleventh right...#lely was murdered (4th) -> cuno threw rocks at the corpse for a few days before klaasje decided to call it in (8th) ->#harry arrived in martinaise (a few hours later on the 8th?) -> harry has a three day long bender and wakes up the morning of the 11th#that being said ruby's diary entry about being holed up 'here' (taking this to mean the fisher shack) is from the 12th#so maybe klaasje called it in say 11pm on the 8th and the dispatched harry the morning of the 9th#plus the three day bender would have the kineema waking up harry and scaring away ruby to the feld building on the 12th#I Sure Feel like this is something that should be very simple that im just not understanding bc im tired#or maybe it was obvious to everyone else this whole time. not sure!#gemitus#disco elysium#maintagging yeah sowwy 👍#i think the fact that he was killed at night probably adds some rounding to the mix here
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Pictures and things
#photo diary#image 1 - pretty sky!.. so many sky photos as always#2 & 3 - baby son keeping me company during one of my Sickness days where I kind of just sit on the floor in a blanket#for hours slowly sipping pedialyte and having applesauce and such lol#He likes to bite the squeezy apple sauce pouches.. and try to steal the heating pad#4. Sky again. lighter more scattered fluffy clouds.#5 - greeting card that I drew at someone's request so they could send it to their elderly family member lol.. It's like.. cats baking#in a kitchen I guess? My eternal curse.. being the number one lover of cats in the world yet still somehow barely having a grasp#on their anatomy so they always look ridiculous when I draw them. I have both drawn and looked at cats for my entire life basically#yet somehow those two things do not come together to make me a good cat artist.. alas..#6 - underpart of an outfit I did (and havent yet posted of course because of my evil backlog of onemillion drafted posts)#I took the main dress off the top but thought the underneath part looked cool on it's own as well#7 - more sky.#8 - Mushroom fettucini alfredo. steak. and grilled asparagus. A fun little meal for me though I can't remember the occasion. I think maybe#as a reward for getting my covid booster or something. Though I still feel it's not as much of a reward when I am personally cooking#everything myself at home gjhbjh.. so its like... I'm having to do quite a lot of labor which makes it feel less relaxing I suppose. but eh#a treat in some form. Still cheaper by overall cost than ordering from a restaurant - and also can be customized and prepared#exactly how I like - which is the point. I guess more I just wish I weren't the only cooking person in the house. Everyone could#take turns making special meals for each other rather than like.. ''hmm I feel like having a treat. suppose I shall spend an hour#making it all myself and then feel tired whilst eating it'' lol.. ANYWAY#9 - and then.. you guessed it..MORE sky pictures!!! This time pinky bluey and so on.. huzzah..#A very sky heavy entry into the photo diaries I suppose#The sky in the 1st/7th image is jsut very ethereal seeming to me. something about the way the lighting is behind the clouds. It's#transportive. An interesting sky will make me feel like many other places in time or things I've seen in dreams or something. You get#a sense of being in a different world or like you're looking out over something you once imagined whilst reading a storybook. maybe lol
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First Steps of Many
(Redacted Audio) Asher x Black Reader Imagine ~ 1.75k words
!!Disclaimers!!: This is not beta read, there is angst, some foul language, occasional violent imagery, brief & light hints of sexual attraction btwn 2 adults, and bc it hasn’t been peer-reviewed (also bc I couldn’t decide if I wanted to write it like a [Name] fic, or use the listener’s nickname throughout), this fic could expose you to unhealthy amounts of CRINGE!!!
If any of this isn’t your cup of tea, feel free to scroll away and find something that does (I won’t take it personally ;D)
If none of that turns you away, then here’s a seat and a snack! I hope you enjoy the potential pt. 1 of this series! <333
This is a narration of the beginning of the end. Baabe would hold down the fort as per usual, taking orders from five people before getting to her favorite customer. They would both like to talk more about daily troubles, Asher sucking his teeth to keep his angst about his bitter family in a vacuum, and Baabe pivoting themselves from anything too personal by stringing out their consonants on a stuttered inhale.
The welcoming bell of the family owned joint interrupts itself to ring thrice for a happy horde of hungry habeshas, and Asher quickly two-steps from the counter and to his table. Baabe welcomes them all warmly, but raises a couple eyebrows with their hastened pace in servicing them all. Asher sees Baabes’ struggle to serve and record all of their orders as something he indirectly caused, flinching when he sees you nearly drop someone’s chai and three plates of food.
He walks up to you when you make it behind the counter, with about eight tickets still on the line, and four more plates to bring to their tables, he told you how he thought it would be best for him to come back later, and apologized for rushing you with his promise of staying to sit down and talk in the way he knows you’ve wanted to.
You stare at him with your eyes squinted, as if stressing your eyes would help you hear him better. You get the bright idea to glance down at his lips just as he utters the fact of him leaving, then practically lunge over the counter to clap his hands between your own. Loud crashing and clattering of tea and coffee sets against plates and cutlery quieted the entire kitchen, and ignited another kind of clamoring and clattering.
“I can handle this. I know it looks like a lot, but I deal with worse at my day job.”
The shouting from the kitchen approaches and intensifies after coming into contact with someone else’s spilled masterpiece. Baabe looks back for a moment, then flicks their face, beaten soft with yearning (and the incoming blow to her paycheck for one and a half tea sets), towards Asher. His blonde hair brushing against your face as you lean in close to his ear. Your minty breath closes the gap between you both as you say–
—“Wait for me. “Please.” He turns his head and nods, something that could’ve read as him nuzzling into your neck—something he’s stayed awake thinking about doing since he met you.
Something about your intoxicating scent, your hickory toned skin—something about all of you never fails to make him swoon. What happens next is almost automatic; you see in the midst of his adoration of you he reclaims his clarity, next he makes the decision he wanted to from the start (sit and wait for you to sit with him over a delicious meal that someone else will bring out for the both of you), then he wrestles with the characatures of his pack members his mind made to taunt him, wins against them all because, “Fuck ‘em. What are they going to do about it? Bitch and moan? I can take that. Fight me? They can fuck themselves over and try.”
The idea of David and Milo pop up in his mind. He looks up to see two teas he hadn’t ordered sat in front of him, and your apron slung across the chair parallel to him.
“I’d get my ass handed to me every day if it meant being here.”
“Well,” You chuckle. “…let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, yes?”
His eyebrows shoot up, breaking his morbid composure. He lets out a laugh, awkward in it’s intensity and tone.
“Well, anything for the world’s best siga fir fir.” He looks to your eyes, then glances down to the tea you generously paid for. He thanks you for his drink and for starting the meal in the same nod he dips down to drink his tea in.
“And of course, I couldn’t miss out on the best waiter in the world.” You snort mid sip, coughing down the remainder of your hot tea to make room for your laughter. You had to settle yourself down from your laughing fit.
Why were you laughing anyways? He didn’t even say anything funny? Maybe it was his face when he said it? The way he’d scrunch his nose before being cheeky was always so endearing, or maybe it was the way this mountain of a man was so gently clasping onto his cup?
“[Asher says something]” That’s it! It was his eyes! It had to be! The way his smile would crease his gaze into crescent moons, and the happy shape of his face was only exaggerated by his thick short boxed beard…and maybe it had a little to do with his choice of dress. Bomber jackets are understandable, but a leopard fur print interior and trim?
Baabe hadn’t noticed the abhorrent pattern until now, but maybe it was because Asher was wearing it? He somehow pulled off even the most criminal looks, so they wouldn’t be surprised.
Baabe stared for a second longer. Had his arms always been that big?
“Do you like my shirt?” “Nah, just your arms.”
Baabes’ eyes flew open, making them appear only a fraction as erratic as they felt. A wave of heat swallowed their neck and face.
‘OH MY GOD WHY DID I SAY THAT?’
“Oh my GOD, I can’t believe you just said that!” Asher guffawed, then laughed from deep down in his gut. Baabe was about to shrink into themselves for good until—.
“You know, it takes a lot of work to look this good!” Asher begins to put on a show. Flexing his arms in poses you could only remember that one hunky guy from the SpongeBob Movie doing. He cracks another laugh out of you. “I’m glad these big guns impress you!”
You take a moment to weigh the risk of what you’re about to say.
“You always impress me Asher.”
Asher froze, something he could’ve concealed better if it weren’t for your sweetened tone. Part of that moment he spent frozen was dedicated to scanning you up and down for any hints of sarcasm or humor, the next was spent reeling himself away from your genuine look of adoration. Because, dear GODS, if he looks at you any longer than how much he already has, he’s bound to do something stupid–and not “poor-man’s-imitation-of-Arnold-Hasslehoff” stupid, he’s talkin’ “Pick-you-up-in-his-arms-and-run-away-with-you-tonight” kind of stupid.
“Ehem, so uh, what did you want to tell me? Or, uh, what did you want to talk about?”
Baaabe rubs their ring finger, gently wringing just above where the knuckle connects to the start of their finger. “I actually wanted to talk about us. Asher, you and I have known each other for a while, and I really like you, but not enough to keep things between us how they are now.”
Asher’s hands went cold. He felt his grip on his teacup tighten.
“I like you too much, Asher. Every moment we spend together is more precious to me than the last, and–I–I’d just like, so, so much, to spend more time with you.” Baaabe looked up from their hands, their nervous glare softening the moment they met Asher’s own stunned expression.
“Do you feel the same?”
A beat passed between the two.
Then another.
A jittery laugh comes from Baabe.
“I may have sprung this on you, it’s alright if–.” “I’D LOVE TO!” “I mean, I agree! I’d love to go out with you [Name].”
Baabe blinks. “Really?” They release a sigh, the kind that is so heavy with emotion you’d have to manually push the last half of it out your chest and up your throat. Asher releases a heavy sigh of his own, then focuses all of his erratic heart to say–.
“Yeah! Yeah, really.”
They giggle in stupid glee for a long while, then Baabe (the glutton for punishment they are) springs another question that gets their heart racing.
“So, when are you free? I know you’re always busy with your security business so…”
“Yeah, no, don’t even worry about that! The guys can handle a couple jobs without me. And if they can’t–” Asher blew a raspberry. “–they’ll figure it out!“ The lovers let out a couple more laughs, riding on highs that, honest to God, they don’t know why are wracking through them this heavily.
The entire restaurant seemed to pause, and in that silence, the energy between them began to burn. A beautiful, private moment between both of them and the thirty other people in the restaurant.
You glazed over the audience with a scornful glare, briefly enough to catch nearly everyone’s eyes before they could be sneakily removed to an uninteresting wall, or an unnaturally compelling wood tile.
Asher coughed, which wound up drawing your mind to more important things.
“Are you free the Friday after next?” He asked, his hushed voice pointed enough for you to make the connections between the consonants and his intended message. “Yeah, yeah I can be free then.”
#redacted audio#redactedverse#redacted asmr#exult's diary entries#exult writes petrichor's crypt#x black reader#x black fem reader#fanifiction#part 1 of 5? possibly? let me finish my finals and we'll see lol#next time the story will be a [Name] fic
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Is it a casual thing to get high together and then fall asleep in the same tiny bed ?
#asking for a friend....#anyway... the adventures of foolishness with german guy continue...#i think this can still be a platonic thing btw? to sleep in the same bed#but i have a hard time analyzing it bc i have a crush on him lol#we did do a lot of casual touching in bed but u know that might have been mostly me sorry oops#i still dont think he likes me like that?#which is fine its just kinda torture when yr platonically in bed with the guy u wanna kiss but u cant !#but ill live#but anyway yeah.... how normal and platonic is this from a scale of 1-10 be honest pls#diary entries
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June is here and i want to lay down on the grass like a studio Ghibli movie character and look at sky for hours
#june#june 1#june 10#10 june#poetry#poems and quotes#quoteoftheday#quotes#mood#vibes#feels#love poem#beautiful quote#love quotes#poem#poems and poetry#poems on tumblr#diary entry#online diary#personal diary#dear diary#digital diary#daily diary#sky#clouds#grass#scenery#ghibli films#studio ghibli
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my dad is literally so insufferable we're watching mota together and whenever marge is mentioned when buck and bucky are on screen he gasps and says 'really you're going to talk about her in front of your husband?' he's really out here peddling the clegan agenda. he called their stupid little fistfight a 'marital spat'. when buck was dancing with the dog he said 'the things men do when they can't dance with other men.' cannot wait to hear his commentary on their reunion in the last episode.
#clegan#masters of the air#diary entry#if there is 1 clegan stan in the world it's my dad etc#this is our second viewing the first time he watched silently this time he's being REAL VOCAL about his opinions#side note his favourite character is crosby
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mcflyjuly 2024//🌲🌲//day 24: out in the desert
08/12/85
Remember my entry from 6 days ago? Doc decided to take a leap and took me out for a trip. My parents wouldn’t let me go to New Mexico, and so we just…didn’t ask them. We told them I’s be staying at the lab for a few days, but I’m actually writing tis right from Los Alamos.
And I totally did not forget to bring extra ink (Doc gave me his ballpoint pen). Ahem. Anyway.
It’s really fascinating to hear him talk about his experiences around here. He showed me around the Trinity site yesterday. The desert is massive.
I’m glad I got to experience this before school starts in a few days.
#i totally am not late to this#IM SORRY JFJSHFHALAHA#I GOT DISTRACTED ATTEMPTING TO BOOKBIND MY 1ST POV BTTF 1 NOVELIZATION#i read through it a bit and yeah you can totally see i wrote it at 14/15 but its still great#back to the future#bttf#marty mcfly#bttf fic#mcflyjuly#mcflyjuly 2024#to the diary entry: i love the idea of doc and marty doing a road trip of any kind#so why not connect it to the doc lore tm
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