#diagnosis: homosexual

[baltharino]

D4DJ First Mix 1x03 | "Only Me"

[galadrail]

Me : *showing my mom some test for autism*

My mom jaded : But it's just as certain as your homosexuality, nobody doubt it

[demoiselle-de-la-lune-rose]

i spent a good 5 minutes crying into my boyfriends back while masochism tango plays in my headphones... spotify shuffle play is just *chefs kiss* I'd have laughed had i not been non verbal and crying

[beauzos]

Vincent Augustus gets diagnosed as autistic at age 37 and even though it simply explains a lot about his experiences and doesn't change him in the slightest, he will spend at least a few months resenting anyone knowing about it as if anyone cares at all.

[machinavillage]

i need to be touched and held by men. smthn wrong with me

[fanbun]

In 1973, activists succeeded in their efforts. As they had in years past, gay activists disrupted panels and gave speeches. One of the more famous speeches offered at the May 1973 APA conference in Honolulu was by a gay activist named Ronald Gold, who told the APA members, “Stop it, you’re making me sick.” The resounding line was somewhat of a double entendre: the APA was literally saying that Gold, as a gay man, was ill, implying that the “medical professionals” were creating sickness where there was none. And, in stigmatizing Gold’s personhood, the APA was helping to further the social conditions that alienated and ostracized queer people—like him. Ultimately, activists were successful in part by pointing out the gaps in the APA’s own reasoning behind classification. The declassification movement made heavy use of the fact that, until this time, the members had not really defined what a mental illness was, only asserted that they existed and had a distinct etiology, though the brain’s complexity prevented complete precision. “In fact, the controversy over the homosexuality diagnosis was able to reach such heights of publicity in part because the APA had never had cause to reach consensus on a standardized definition of mental illness,” Lewis writes.

[drdemonprince]

What do you mean when you talk about anti-psychiatry? Because on the surface that sounds like not getting treatment or not learning how to manage psychological disorders, and that seems like a VERY bad idea.

It's anti-psychiatry as an oppressive network of control. I don't know why people always assume that critiquing a power structure means you're saying individual people shouldn't do what they need and want to do to manage their wellbeing within said structure but those things are not the same. I'm an anarchist. I'm for disabled liberation. i'm literally never going to claim to know what an individual person should do.

If you support neurodiversity as a concept, you already support anti-psychiatry! It is literally an anti-psychiatry perspective. So is supporting self-diagnosis. Or informed consent approaches to drugs or to trans identity. Getting homosexuality removed from the DSM is an anti-psychiatry move. So is opposing forced institutionalization. So is opposing conservatorships.

The radical mental health subreddit is a great read on this. As is Nobody's Normal by Roy Grinker, Psychiatric Hegemony by Bruce Cohen, all of Jesse Meadow's writing at sluggish.substack.com, and also... all of my work.

[solitaryschizoid]

I'm tired of hearing that self diagnosis isn't valid as if so-called medical professionals don't frequently misdiagnose their patients.

As if the industry of psychiatry isn't evil when homosexuality used to be considered a mental disorder and abused slaves were labeled mentally ill for escaping.

As if the DSM actually makes any fucking sense at all being only descriptive of external symptoms that others deal with when dealing with a person with that disorder instead of symptoms that describe how it's actually like to live with that disorder for the person who has it.

As if everyone conveniently ignores that the stigmatization of mental disorders is created by the psychiatric industry and there are mental disorders that therapists refuse to treat or diagnose because of that stigma.

As if everyone forgets that some mental disorders are so stigmatized that having a diagnosis on your record can ruin your life and make you the target of discrimination and abuse by any and every entity who wishes to have power over you by using your disorder against you.

As if the entire population of the world has access to healthcare which is a privilege that only the fortunate and wealthy can afford.

As if the process of formal diagnosis doesn't begin with self diagnosis.

[beewitch4]

Saw a post on a terf blog saying that intersex people can’t be queer for being intersex because it’s a medical diagnosis and not an identity. As if homosexuality- and asexuality and being transgender to this day- are not seen as medical diagnoses.

[mikkaeus]

house md hilson fic rec - medium to long fics (10k+)

Other house rec lists: short fics | episode tags | postcanon | infidelity trope (all of these are mutually exclusive apart from the infidelity one) // Edit: I added the longer postcanon fics to this reclist as well because this one got the most traction!

These are all House/Wilson unless otherwise stated. Before we get into the fics, here are some of my fave authors that have written several house fics.

fourteencandles: im literally in love with them . 10/10 writing no notes. also long fics?? hello???

ictus: this author has the range! from emotional to fluff to funny. very smooth writing. all of their fics have different vibes which was fun to read. they’re all very good. 

Transformatron: fics that are transcendent and porny, all featuring a d/s undertone or theme (wilson as the dom)

Namaste (livejournal / ff.net): Some short fics, some much longer ones. Mostly gen focussing on H&W friendship, with some fics on canon pairings. Interesting character studies and discerning prose.

In order of length. *faves, ***underrated faves

*Brain Damage by fourteencandles (8k) (Ok I know this isn’t over 10k but I wanted all of their fics on one post and it’s close enough so.) This was brilliant. Like a real episode of House, with Wilson as the unfortunate patient-of-the-week, with bonus House/Wilson. Characterisation was bang on, and the plot was original and engaging and had a satisfying conclusion. Love to see House taking care of Wilson.

Down to the Water + Bound for Home by blackmare (~10k) Aftermath of season 4. House and Wilson go on a road trip. Quiet and sad and fragile, with excellent writing. This fic appears to have been fairly well known in lj days but I don't think a lot of newer people know about it.

*A Smaller World by fourteencandles (10k) The thing between them works, if Wilson doesn't push for more. God I’m so soft. I have so many feelings!!! In love with this established relationship hilson, still a little precarious, but with Wilson adapting, and House willing to put in effort.

*What's Past by fourteencandles (10k) The guy who used to have Wilson's job comes back for a visit, and it turns out they have more in common than Wilson ever knew.

*Touch Therapy by nomad (10k) It's not that House needs the human contact. It's just that when you're sharing an apartment, these things happen sometimes. Light hearted and funny, canon divergence from when Wilson’s staying on House's couch in s2. This is pretty much the homosexual waters have started flowing in House's direction post. Excellent dialogue.

***not another medical drama series (10k) by captainharkness Retelling of season 1 with House and Wilson as an established relationship. Great slice of life stories! Ongoing. The first is H/W POV, the second is Cameron, and the third is Chase. My favourite is definitely the second one (someone else’s story). I adore seeing H/W through the ducklings’ eyes. 

Synchronicity by copperbadge (10k) Dead patients, car wrecks, drug overdoses, journalists, Comatose Charlie, and orange chicken. Must be love.

systemic by ictus (10k) Ever since Wilson moved in, House has presented with some inexplicable symptoms. Fortunately, he has a team of talented doctors to aid him with his diagnosis. Season 2 fic! This one is funny and sweet and overall a great read.

Rush Down Darkness by Starlingthefool (10k) House MD/World War Z crossover. Told mainly through interview dialogue from house’s pov. Engaging story. House/Wilson definitely takes a backseat to the plot — there’s no grand getting together or anything. That's not to say it's not about them though, because there were still lots of good moments (good in the sense that my heart hurts). More succinctly, it has the vibes of an established relationship fic., although it isn't technically one.

Defensive Strategies by Milkshake Butterfly (~10k) (lj) In which Wilson is tired of being asked out by women when he's not ready to date again, and naturally House proposes a simple solution: pretend to be together. An enjoyable read.

******Commonplace and True by celestialskiff (11k) It would be a simple story--House and Wilson meet at a medical conference, have sex, and enjoy each other's company--but nothing is ever easy, or simple. Explores Wilson's relationship with House, with women, and with himself. House and Wilson throughout the years — with the version of canon where Wilson has cheated on every wife and girlfriend with House. When I tell you I am FROTHING!!! Pining while fucking?? The way it’s never the right time?? The greed of wanting to have your cake and eat it too? (That one’s specifically for Wilson, our beloved three-wives guy.) The vibes are immaculate. The prose is elegant verging on poetic. I’m eating this fic whole and it will be on my mind always. It is THE hilson fic for me. It is criminal that this fic has been up since 2012 and it only has 200 kudos. Go read it immediately & give the author some love.

***Declarations of Independence by Namaste (ff.net, also on livejournal) (11k) House and winter, throughout the years. I really enjoyed this. Excellent writing. Copy pasting a part of a comment by bedawyn which articulates why this fic is unique better than I can: “So far, I've seen a lot of focus in the fanfic (and the eps) on the pain and the Vicodin, but very little awareness of the practical aspects of limited mobility and the emotional impact of those even apart from the pain. So this was a very nice change.”

***Rule of Three by Transformatron (11k) (House/Wilson/Foreman) Foreman sees something he shouldn't have. And, maybe, wants something he shouldn't have, too. This was well written and super hot, with fun dialogue and descriptions that do justice to the excellent writing of the show itself. Foreman is faithfully characterised in a way that made me sympathetic. Also H/W outsider perspective as a third is such a treat to read. Lower me into my grave!!!!

*Warning Signs by out_there (12k) Excerpt: House looked to the left, staring down at the open box. Wilson knew that expression on his face: House was torn between denying it all and gleefully acknowledging his schemes. Normally, his ego won out and, like a comic super villain, he'd explain all. Wilson just needed to stay quiet and wait. This fic was fantastic. I am disgustingly fond. Superb characterisation. Light hearted and funny.

The Oncologist Trap by zulu (13k) (2007) House subtly seduces Wilson. Somehow.

The Line of Thought by tevinterimperium (13k) House and Wilson pretend to be together to play a prank on the ducklings, which is an extremely plausible scenario. From the perspective of the ducklings. Set sometime after 3x15: Half-Wit.

hail mary by ictus (13k) A post-canon fix it! In the weeks since finishing the show and reading this fic there are times I forgot that this wasn’t canon. It’s such a believable (and well-researched) alternate ending that feels like an actual episode.

Son of Mine by simoneallen (14k) Sherlock is House’s long-lost kid. Usually I’m not a fan of cross-over fics but I enjoyed this one. Established relationship on the johnlock side, getting together on the hilson side.

***hearts turn red by ictus (14k) In my head this is the counterpoint to Commonplace and True. When I found it after reading that one it really was a holy shit two fucking cakes?? moment. The delicious infidelity vibes are similar, but the vibes of the writing are pretty different -- whereas the above fic has a more quiet, subdued atmosphere, this one has more snappy prose and it’s more light-hearted with funny moments as well as emotional ones. It’s not just the infidelity theme that makes me crazy about both of them though; it’s how they play on the great tragedy of House and Wilson. In the author’s own words: In a way they do feel a little bit doomed to never quite be on the same page with each other until the very end of the series and by then it's too late. Of course, in these fics, they’re rescued earlier than the end, but the wretched vibes remain. Also, I’m obsessed with this line: By Wilson’s read, House is somehow simultaneously joking and sincere: Schrödinger’s sexual advance. That is the entire fucking show.

An Inconvenient Truth by annathaema (15k) Wilson helps out Cuddy and reveals something about himself in the process. House freaks out accordingly. Also features banana-colored babies, the men's room, and Skee-Ball.

*at the rind by ShanaStoryteller (19k) An AU where Wilson experiences all the near death moments House has in the show as a series of nightmares. Set between 1.19 and 2.05, but spoilers for the whole show. Protective Wilson!! We love to see it. I also like Wilson’s characterisation here - you can very much see how not-normal he is. We love unhealthy co-dependency.

***Esopus Creek by shaycat (24k) An eighty-year-old widower by the name of Eugene Skinner ventures out one September day in upstate New York for his usual morning activity - fly fishing. His leisurely hobby is interrupted by a bickering pair nearby in the river. That chance encounter with Greg House and James Wilson changes the course of his life. Told from the perspective of the last friend the boys make on their final road trip. This was the perfect post season 8, Wilson-still-dies fic. A sad fic but not a depressing one. It’s quiet and heartwarming, in a bittersweet way. Highly recommend. It has great use of outsider POV — I’m always a sucker for it but it worked particularly well in this case to have the angst but not be drowning in it. Also I just really liked the OC.

***Howler Tone by baffledbear (25k) The calls always happen late at night, and they're extremely sporadic, with weeks, sometimes months bridging between them. They talk on the phone otherwise, of course; about patients, or dinner plans, or carpooling. Typical stuff. But the calls that always end a certain way always start a certain way. Wilson is so repressed but so attracted to House. House is taking as much as he can get while still remaining in relative safety. Together they push a platonic relationship to the absolute limits of plausible deniability. Overall totally realistic within the canon of the show — the natural step up from the gay chicken already depicted. It’s just such a perfect scenario for them! That combined with silky smooth prose, faithful characterisation and accurate dialogue makes this fic is a definite hilson favourite and also a hilson-thesis fic.

*The Open Road by Pun (25k) A fandom classic. Road trip fic set in the earlier seasons. It's good; read it.

*He Won't Tell You That He Loves You by hellshandbasket (25k) [In which Nolan pulls at the Wilson thread, and House can't stop it all from unraveling. Repression is a hell of a drug.] Early s6. Another fandom classic that is worth its salt.

no need to worry (making up your mind) by scribespirare (25k) House makes the mistake of telling his mother he can't join her for Christmas because of his new boyfriend. Somehow, this becomes Wilson's problem. Cute and fun. I put off reading fake-dating fics because I was worried about them being OOC but this one definitely wasn’t!

***Sticks and Stones by Transformatron (25k) (WIP) House has an innovative new idea for managing his chronic pain. Wilson’s not sure he approves - but when has House ever asked for permission? This is such a great concept I am climbing the walls!!! D/s with House as the sub. The story is currently still at pre-relationship stage, with House experimenting with BDSM and Wilson being unhappy with the proceedings (for some unknown reason /s). Also the writing is nice and snappy with some great figurative language that manages to incorporate medical themes impressively well. 

Fresh Feeling by justkeeptrekkin (30k) House is tricked into going on a team-building trip with his colleagues. He does far more bonding with Wilson than anyone else. Funny and well written. The team interactions are very cute.

***Tracking Time by Namaste (37k) (ff.net) A look at House and Wilson's friendship over the years and how it has changed from their meeting through the end of the first season. I don’t usually read long genfics but this one was exceptional. I like Namaste’s take on House and Wilson’s characters. And they are a very good storyteller — one thing that you don’t tend to see as much of in fanfiction is the old adage of ‘show not tell’. The writing in this fic is careful and subtle, and lets you read between the lines, making it so that no part of the 37k words is a drag to read.

*The Body Found by fourteencandles (46k) Wilson's missing. When I tell you I cried... Premium angst & hurt/comfort. Excellent dialogue with some alternating POV (House mainly, but you also get the three ducklings & Cuddy).

You Already Know How This Will End by fourteencandles (46k) What if House had gone to rehab right after/around "Merry Little Christmas"? (3.10) This fic was interesting. It’s told in a series of short vignettes with a variety of different perspectives. It’s not really a hilson fic (or a fic for any ship). It just explores the characters. I did wish for more hilson but it’s a good read (I mean, it’s fourteencandles). The one hilson scene near the end where they hire a hooker in Atlantic City lives in my head rent free. Warning that the ending is rather abrupt and I didn’t find it satisfying, but I think it works for this kind of story, in a way. Messy people and their complicated relationships, with a lot of loose ends left untied, because that’s just what life is. 

***For Every Closed Door by starlingthefool (around 50k?) (lj) Overview of the chapters (14 with 4 interludes and an epilogue) is on the author’s lj (scroll down).  House MD/Dead Like Me crossover.  I love this fic a lot! It’s canon divergence from Season 3. House gets killed in a freak accident and becomes a reaper, remaining in the mortal world to harvest souls, able to interact with people but not be recognisable to those that know him. As the author says, this is an Afterlife!Fic and therefore a deathfic. They also said it’s not depressing — which is true, because it’s more plotty than an angstfest, and there are lots of light-hearted parts, but it is definitely heartbreaking at points. I literally cried all the way through the last chapter. Happy ending though!!! Don’t worry about the cross-over aspects. I haven’t seen Dead Like Me, and as far as I can tell, it just takes the premise of the show. I’m glad I found this fic whilst trawling 2000s livejournal because it’s really a hidden gem. Great plot, dialogue, compelling OCs — the whole package! I got so emotionally invested in the story. I think there were maybe a few parts that were a little unpolished but just keep reading. It’s really worth it. 

*A Modest Proposal and Involuntary Commitment series by ignaz (98k) The one where House and Wilson get married so Wilson can’t testify against House in the Tritter arc.  I have an unfortunate habit of downloading fics and then forgetting to bookmark & comment once I’m done, so I don’t have anything detailed to say about this one, but it’s a classic and a favourite of mine.

Twenty Years of Stealing My Food by hwshipper (100k) A backstory taking place over twenty years, from how House and Wilson met all the way to canon. A reimagining of their fucked up, magnetic relationship, with a straightforward writing style. They get together nearly as soon as they meet and maintain a steady open relationship whilst cheating on their various girlfriends and wives throughout the years. 

[gothofasaia]

What your favourite nevermore character says about you 🫵 (personal edition)

Lenore: you’re a hopeless homosexual

Annabelle lee: you’re a hopeless homosexual but with a very bad taste in women.. (type of person to pet a venomous reptile)

Duke: you’re a sucker for sidekicks aren’t you? you’re praying that he won’t die (again) aren’t you?

Pluto: you’re a furry and all of your Original characters have a tail and cat/dog ears (I see that mcr t shirt in your closet you can’t hide it)

Berenice: Nothings wrong with you you’re perfect (please let my family go now)

Eulalie: So,,, how’s that autism diagnosis process going?

Montresor: You think he’s hot and you’re desperately waiting for a redemption arc (not happening buddy.. sorry)

William: you didn’t have many friends growing up did you..? stop hanging out with people you don’t like just because you’re afraid of loneliness

Ada: No amount of tiktok “share and they’ll fall in love with you” videos will save you from your very bad talking stage (you’re also hoping for redemption aren’t you?)

Morella: you have definitely unironically referred to yourself as a smol bean/potato in the past and own at least one frog related item

Prospero: he’s your AroAce kin isn’t he? (i don’t blame you, i see it)

Theo: … you’re sad he isn’t in more panels and desperately trying to find fandom content about him

[trans-axolotl2]

Fuck the DSM. Seriously, fuck the DSM.

The DSM is and always has been used primarily as a method of rationalizing mistreatment of the people it labels as "deviant." When you look at the history of psychiatry, it becomes clear that things like drapetomania, protest psychosis, hysteria, and homosexuality as a disorder were not just thrown into there randomly. Rather, it showcases the power of the DSM: labeling and categorizing ways of being as mental illness opens up new paths of incarceration, social control, and curative violence. I need people to understand that the modern DSM still works like this: these classifications of madness/mental distress/neurodivergence into psychiatric labels encourage society to treat madness/mental distress/neurodivergence with the apparatuses used to eradicate "deviance." Diagnosis is not neutral.

As mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people, we deserve access to more explanatory models of madness/mental illness/ neurodivergence than what the psychiatric language of normalcy and disorder offers us. Whether this looks like rejecting diagnosis, embracing varying cultural understandings of mental experience, or any million different ways of interpreting our bodymind, we deserve the option to move beyond clinical language that tries to convince us not to trust ourselves. We deserve to view ourselves wholly, leaving room for all our experiences of madness/mental illness/neurodivergence--the meaningful, the terrifying, the joyful, the exhausting. We deserve to have our own relationship with our madness, instead of being pushed to view ourselves as an inherent "danger to self or others" simply by existing as crazy.

Here's another truth: I hate the DSM, and I still call myself bipolar, a diagnosis that came to me through psych incarceration. While I wholeheartedly reject the DSM and the system intertwined with it, I simultaneously acknowledge and believe that many of the collections of symptoms that the DSM describes are very, very real ways of living in the world, and that the distress that they can cause are very very real. When I say fuck the DSM, I don't mean "Mental distress, disability, and neurodivergence aren't real." Rather, I mean that the DSM can never hold my experience of what it is like to be bipolar, the meaning I derive from experiencing life with cyclical moods. The DSM can't hold within its pages what it's like to see my mood cycle not as a tragedy or disaster, but instead as an opportunity, a gift, to grow and shift and go back to the same place over and over again, dying in winter and blooming again in spring. The DSM can't hold the fact that even though I experience very, very real distress due to those mood cycles--they're still mine and I claim that as something that matters to me. I call myself bipolar as a shorthand to tell people that I experience many things both extreme high and low, but I do not mean the same thing when I say "bipolar" as a psychiatrist does.

When we build community as mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people, I want us to have room to share, relate, and care for each other in ways that isn't calling to the authority of a fucked up system with strictly defined categories. I don't want us to take those same ways of thinking and rebrand it into advocacy that claims to fight stigma, but really just ends up reinforcing these same ideas about deviance, cure, control, and danger. I dream of the day when psychiatry doesn't loom as a threat in all of our lives, and I think part of that work requires us as mad/mentally ill/neurodivergent people to really grapple with and untangle the ways we label and make meaning of our minds.

ok to reblog, if you want to learn more about antipsychiatry/mad studies check out this reading list.

[angstydevil]

The map is not the territory. In regards to geopolitics, this means a map of the world is a representation, not reality itself. Borders change. Landmasses change. The words used to label depictions of certain regions reflect temporal motivations. The landmasses labeled North America and South America are named after an Italian mapmaker and have not been named as such for many millennia. The names on the globe reflect historical ideological movements.

The concept of a world map entirely covered in nationstates with well-defined borders is relatively new. This reflects a particular ideology in which states are things that occupy landmasses and contain people, rather than material realities constructed by social agreements between individuals.

Even satellite maps are photographs: they are representations of reality, and they are distinct from the real world in various ways. If satellite maps are presented as the most cutting edge and accurate way of depicting Earth as it really is, that too reflects a bias toward seeing what the world “really is” in a particular way.

The map is not the territory. In regards to psychiatry, this means that a catalogue of behaviours maligned as syndromes written by clubs of predominantly white western cisgender men is not a holy almanac of extant neurological deviations from some universal standard of reason.

Psychiatry is a violent institution at its roots. The concepts of sanity and madness are inextricable from racism and colonialism. American psychiatry emerged from the practice of allowing slaveholders the “right” to have captive people they held in involuntary servitude declared “mentally unfit” or “insane”.

Psychiatry remains a violent institution. It is an extension of western fetishization of “rationalism”; it rationalizes unpersoning. It holds that madpeople are without “reason”, a notion that for many intents and purposes is a sanitized synonym of soul, and therefore madpeople must be caged. It offers a “scientific” and “rational” dogma of “degeneracy”.

Psychiatry is interlinked with the prison industrial complex and is one of the principal institutions to which the term “institutional racism” applies. American psychiatry diagnoses black bodied people with oppositional defiant disorder, antisocial personality disorder, schizophrenia, and cognitive disabilities at higher rates than white bodied people, simultaneously villainizing and constructing blackness as a social and material reality, villainizing and constructing particular categories of disability as categories to be marginalized and medically neglected, and perpetuating racialist ideologies while frequently aligning with eugenicist initiatives. Psychiatry is a part of a system that determines who is free and who is unfree, and that system serves and protects inequalities as its foundational purpose.

Psychiatry creates an idea of mental illness that's very attractive as a pejorative among liberals and conservatives, e.g., Conservativism/liberalism should be considered a mental illness (and therefore conservatives/liberals should be unfree). This kind of thinking also appears on the auth-left, e.g., I think money should be considered a delusion (and therefore capitalists should be unfree). Psychiatry constructs, enforces, and regulates categories of “undesirables”.

No one derives rights and validity from the DSM. American queer people did not feel protected by homosexuality's status as a diagnosis in the DSM, and they rioted and organized until it was removed as a diagnosis in 1974. Trans people deserve freedom and rights because everyone deserves freedom and rights, not because the American Psychiatric Association recognizes gender dysphoria as a diagnosis.

Psychiatry does not champion the rights of people it diagnoses. In the words of Frantz Fanon, “Psychiatry is an auxiliary of the police.” Psychiatrists police communities, and they do so with the same violent racist, sexist, cisheteronormative prejudices endogenous to police departments.

Psychiatrists, like police officers, have the right to arbitrarily detain people. Psychiatrists are gatekeepers between people and inalienable rights to medicine and drugs. Psychiatrists participate in the othering and erasure of people who experience trauma, especially generational and societal trauma. Psychiatrists actively construct a colonial narrative in which there exists an ideal (white, sane, able bodied) rational human standard from which there is (“degenerate”) deviation. Psychiatrists kidnap and imprison people. Psychiatrists swear oaths to kidnap and imprison people. Psychiatrists rarely face charges or even lose their licenses to practice when their abuses are well documented - and, in general, most abuses are not well documented.

Psychiatry’s existence as an institution opposes absolute rights to bodily autonomy. Psychiatry prohibits poor, sick, and disabled people people from accessing lifesaving medicine. Psychiatry disproportionately denies people of color access to treatments entirely by applying “untreatable” diagnoses.

Medicalist gatekeepers are bullies shilling for a cruel establishment. They routinely accuse their harassment targets of faking disorders, being delusional, and having personality disorders, and they routinely invalidate people using a variety of slurs originally directed at people diagnosed with psychosis, autism, cognitive impairment, and paraphilias as pejoratives.

All these pejoratives are associated with diagnoses in the DSM. Medicalist gatekeepers use them to invalidate and harass others because they’ve integrated the beliefs that psychiatric propagandists peddle: that belonging to those diagnostic criteria makes you ontologically worth less and less “rational” than a sane, abled being; deserving of unfreedom; “degenerate”—without “reason”.

At the crux of their arguments, they say, you’re not like me, you’re like those bad madpeople – or, even more insidiously, I don’t believe what you say about yourself as much as I believe what psychiatry says about you.

If you find yourself thinking, “well of course we have to have an objective viewpoint to really understand this phenomenon - people like that aren’t fully rational!” then you believe unpersoning propaganda.

[cypionate60mg]

Hi! I love your work. It's really thrilling to find art at the intersection of philosophy, gender, and the erotic. You seem to be really thoughtful and intentional about your presentation of these pieces, so I'm curious about why you tag everything with "autoandrophilia" which IME is a pretty loaded word with a complex etymology. Would love to understand more!

Thanks, and good question. My answer is very long.

Before we go any futher, Blanchard's typology is transmisogynist bullshit. It's oversimplified, misinformed, and unimaginative. He actually abandoned the term 'autoandrophile' and has since switched to 'autohomoerotic'. More controversial online circles of trans people half-ironically identify with Blanchardian typology. For some, it's like MBTI, and for others, it's their self-diagnosis. Depends on the person.

When contemporary Western psychology began to take shape in the Wednesday Psychological Society's weekly meetings, one of the 'defects' they discussed was homosexuality. According to E. James Lieberman's biography of Otto Rank, he said in an informal setting that homosexuality is "love for one's self as seen in the persona of another like oneself whom one admires...strongly built up on narcissism. It is an ego symptom and not a sex symptom." Sound familiar? I don't think Blanchard's typology is all that different from that of early European psychoanalysis.

We see this same critique levied against trans people. That we're confusing attraction for identity, our self-love is fetishistic, and we're narcissistic neurotic perverts. But we can't just dismiss and ignore it, because we do indeed see trans people say things like "I can't tell if I want to be him or fuck him" or "become the person you'd want to date." 'Autoandrophile' starts to sound a lot like 'gender envy'. So what is actually happening here?

To even approach answering that, let's ask more questions. What does it mean to love people who look like you? If you are estranged from your own body, or if your body changes over time, is it morally objectionable to love a specific version of youself? Even a future one? It it also morally objectionable for that self-love to have a sexual dimension?

Trans people are expected to have the clarity of mind to separate who they are from who they're attracted to. (It's one of the demands society makes to ensure you are 'of sound mind' while still being suitably pathological to deserve hormonal/surgical treatment.) But if you don't necessarily identify with your body, then you already exist outside of that distinction. Like an open window, the barrier between inside (self) and outside (everything else) becomes troublesome.

Do you see now why I like the mirror metaphor so much? When you look in a reflection, that's not technically you. But it only exists because you are there to cast an image. The room's mirror image, too, is not necessarily real, but you gain insight into the room, maybe even see it in a new way, precisely because it's reflected back inaccurately. Your conception of yourself is filled out with detail when you cross-reference it with another version of yourself, one that doesn't exist in the same way you currently do.

It's some ontological quantum gender shit. And it's not unique to trans people. Cis people can experience it too, but they rely on the assumption that it's natural to have an oppositional 'counterpart', a 'complementary' partner. Somebody who completes them. Why, then, can't I complete myself?

We find ourselves back at your question. If Blanchard isn't going to use 'autoandrophile', then I will. One man's trash is another man's treasure. I'll use it to:

disrupt its definition.

challenge trans assimilationists.

discomfort cis men with my desire to be like them, or worse—to encourage them to define their masculinity.

provoke people into thoughtful discussions.

make people feel less alone.

But mostly, I use it so that when people look for the term, this blog will come up, and they'll see my porn. Or art. Or whatever they'll want to call it. And they'll start asking themselves the distinctions between any of these things.

There's so much more I could say about all this. Autoandrophilia's relationship to beauty standards, its usefulness (or lack thereof) as a coping mechanism for the limitation of transition, etcetera. But I'll stop here for now.

Much love, CYP60MG

[gatheringbones]

laura s. brown, from lesbians, weight, and eating: new analyses and perspectives, from lesbian psychologies: explorations and challenges, edited by the boston lesbian psychologies collective, 1987

["Lesbian fat activists, a non-client population, seemed to be women who are comfortable with their lesbianism. My lesbian clients who are fat, although not necessarily activists, seem to be generally unconcerned about their weight and are for the most part physically active women who perceive themselves as healthy and attractive. I have noticed a relationship between healing from homophobia and reduction of negative self-concept where weight is concerned. For example, a lesbian client who entered therapy from a position of great internalized homophobia could not comfortably say the word 'lesbian' and avoided associating with other lesbians. Her weight was greater than average for her height, although within the norms for women in her family: she consciously perceived her fat as one of the indicators of her lesbianism and her undesirability as a person. Therapy focused on issues of internalized homophobia as it affected self-concept and interpersonal functioning. However, a side effect of the therapy was that this woman came to embrace her lesbianism in a more positive manner, she also began to see herself as attractive at her current weight. She changed her hairdo so that her face, which she had previously stigmatized as looking fat, and had tried to hide with her hair, would be more visible. She also purchased clothing in bright colors that she had always liked but had avoided buying for fear of bringing attention to her "fat, unattractive" body. She took up exercise, which she had loved as a girl but abandoned after puberty as her body assumed its (apparently) genetically determined larger size. She became active in the lesbian community and often commented in therapy sessions about her amazement that there were so many attractive women who were also fat. Her relationship with food also changed: she began to be more careful about what she put into her body, and paid better attention to foods that left her feeling uncomfortable and off center, rather than simply to caloric content.

Such anecdotal and clinical observations must be made cautiously because the empirical data is sparse. The trends that I and my colleagues have observed clinically when we consciously attend to the relationship between homophobia and fat oppression are suggestive. They point to some directions that lesbians and therapists, and therapists who work with lesbians, may wish to consider in working with lesbian clients around issues of food, eating, and body image and size.

It is essential for therapists to examine internalized myths of fat oppression as we apply them to ourselves and our clients. Do we, for instance, assume that fat women are fat because they are eating in an out-of-control manner? Do we assume that women who are not fat are not concerned with their weight and are eating in ways that are healthy and functional simply because the result is one of normal size? Do we accept the ego-dystonic nature of a woman's fat as proof of the need to lose weight, or do we ask the same questions that are not asked about so-called ego-dystonic homosexuality as a diagnosis? Do we secretly envy women with bulimia because "they can eat as much as they want and it never shows"? Do we fat-oppress ourselves by shaming ourselves about our own pleasure in food or by engaging in self-punitive actions such as compulsive dieting? Do we fat-oppress fat women by assuming that they want suggestions about diets, or by telling them "I feel fat, too"— pretending empathy with the real-world aspects of discrimination against fat women by virtue of our own participation in the process of fat oppression? When we hear lesbians derided as fat and ugly, do we protest that "we're not all fat," or do we examine carefully the relationship between the devaluation of fat women and the devaluation of lesbians? Until and unless the therapist examines and changes her own internalized fat oppression, she is likely to fat-oppress her clients, in either overt or covert manners.

In re-examining our fat oppressive norms, we must also make the personal connections to our internalized homophobia and from there, to the misogyny that lies at the basis of them both. A woman who nurtures herself with food, and who does so without guilt, shame, and self-hate has challenged a very basic message given women against feeling worthy of love and sustenance. A lesbian who loves herself and her love of other women and does so without guilt, shame, and self-hate breaks another such rule, that of compulsory heterosexuality. A woman who is spending time and energy on her own pleasure by feeding herself lovingly, by using the resources available to her, by taking as much space as her body grows into, is as clearly revolutionary as is the woman who loves, values, and commits her energies to the love of women. It is quite natural and healthy for women to rebel against the woman-hating inherent in both fat-oppression and homophobia. So-called "eating-disordered" women are the most obvious causalities of that battle. The struggle to be able to stay thin enough while still eating enough to satisfy hunger is often manifested in the alternative bouts of bingeing, purging, and laxative abuse found in bulimia, or in the swings between compulsive stuffing and compulsive dieting found in other women who feel too fat."]

[glass--beach]

if you do come to the conclusion that you ARE plural, you don't have to try to fit your experience into a diagnostic box for it too be legitimate

- someone who is a system, but seems to exist in the exact middle section of the venn diagram of did, osdd 1a, and osdd 1b, and thus cannot get diagnosed

oh 100% that’s why i’m saying “plural” and not “DID” though both could be applicable? i’m very critical of psychiatry & the pathologization of experience & see mental health diagnoses as being potentially useful for understanding your own experience in the context of others but ultimately social constructs to take with a grain of salt. i’m not seeking diagnosis for any of this largely because of how stigmatizing it is. plurality strikes me as something that people can simply claim if it helps them understand themselves rather than having strict diagnostic criteria & i think it functions more as an identity than a disease. kinda reminds me of the way that homosexuality and transsexuality were heavily pathologized until gay and trans people organized around identities defined on their own terms to mainstream the concepts and have them be treated less like diseases.