#detective yzla

[hannahhook7744]

Senior Ball Outfits For the main bda Members Including Elle ?

Jelle (Jace Badun x Princess Elle Athanasiou):

Heddie (Hermie Bing x Eddie Balthazar):

Rela (Yzla Sorcerer x Reza Vizer):

Harry Badun and Mystery Condrum Noir the Nunchuck Wielding Turtle:

The Picture Edits:

[panthera-tigris-venenata]

The Badun detective agency in the 1920 mafia AU

For @hannahhook7744 I hope you enjoy!

There is a child at Jace's doorstep.

A fucking child, looking up at him with wide innocent eyes, like a fucking cherub. His hair a wild mess flung around by the chilly wind, and their ends were dyed blue.

(Who on earth lets a child dye its hair?)

Jace slowly blinks and looks down again: the boy is still here. Well.

„What do you want, kid?“ he asks, hoping that the child might want, well, directions back to his parents? That would be nice?

„My mom has three disembodied corpses in her basement,“ the boy states blankly, a picture of perfect innocence. His eyes are suddenly mildly unnerving, and it takes Jace's brain a moment to catch up on him.

„…What the fuck?“ he mutters more for himself than for the child, who takes it as an encouragement to repeat its words anyway.

So Jace draws a sharp breath and yells down the hall at his cousin: „Harry! Come here this instant! And bring your gun!“

You know, just in case-

Harry Badun runs to the door in truly record speed, the weapon safely pointed down. He looks disappointed when he sees only a child.

„Tell him what you told me,“ Jace sights towards the visitor.

„My mom has three disembodied corpses in her basement. They talk to me when I sleep.“

Ok. 

That is a new info.

This is cool. Totally cool.

Harry tightens his grip on the weapon and looks around the street, then up the roofs, which, you know, always a good idea.

They are clear, though. It doesn't look as if anyone is gonna jump them, much less some psychotic woman. Those don't tend to be too quiet, and the Badun cousins would know.

Oh, and by the way. That silhouette against that balustrade over there? That is totally Reza. Snogging Jade. Harry owes Jace for this one. 

Anyway. Right, the corpses.

„Come on, kid,“ he says, „Go inside and then tell us what you know, yeah?“

The kid's eyes shine as he steps inside and exclaims: „Do I get to be a detective too? I have always wanted to be a detective! I would be an awesome detective, since I know how do bodies look how long after death already!“

This is not a worrying statement at all. Not at all.

A shadow peels off the wall. Hermie. She was listening the whole time, of course she was.

„Dead bodies?“

„What exactly do you mean?!“

The kid answers and Jace bites back the irrational need to scream his lungs out. A vein at his temple pulses as the kid starts describing a rotting corpse with freakish accuracy to way too interested Hermie.

„Quiet! I need to concentrate!“ shouts Yzla from upstairs, „This is a delicate process!“

„Stop painting your pretty pictures for a moment,“ shouts Harry back, „This is a bloody murder case!“

„I'm trying to recreate Renoir here, you ignorant simpleton-“

„A what?“

Yzla screams incoherently and Jace interrupts the argument before it can truly begin: 

„We also have a kid that might be in danger and knows absolutely too much.“

„…I'm coming. But if the paint dries and I won't be able to get back to it, it will be all your fault.“

Jace doesn't even acknowledge that as worthy of an answer.

„Jace?“ Hermie nudges him slightly, while the kid infodumps at slightly traumatized-looking Harry about the different types of gunshot wounds, „Should I get Reza too?“

„…Nah,“ decides Jace, „He is snogging Jade right now, and we wouldn't want to interrupt.“

Hermie nods curtly and turns over to Harry: „You owe me and Yzla a bottle of cognac,“ she says, and Jace whistles. His cousin is losing in the big, today.

The kid tugs at his sleeve: „So what about my mom's basement, Mr Detective?“ the kid asks and he really should ask who his mom is. Also, what is his name?

So he asks, and when the child answers, looking at him with impossibly wide eyes, he almost gets an aneurysm.

„I'm detective Hadie, sir,“ the child reports proudly. Harry and Hermie just shrug – they don't know what is happening either. Nor does Yzla, who just appeared at the top of the stairs, wearing nothing but a negligee, and didn't she say she was working?

Oh, well.

Jace clears his throat.

„Right, kid. Hadie. And who is your mother?“

„But you are detectives!“ the child protests, „You gotta know that, no?“

„…Sure. We know that. Absolutely. And the bodies? Wait, no,“ Jace catches himself. This will certainly be a conversation, so:

„Let's go to the saloon first, shall we?“

Even if the saloon is just a fancy name for a room with a dining table and the kitchen counter, as he and Harry can hardly afford anything else.

They do have enough chairs, though, even if they are rarely used and mostly ignored: Hermie sits on the table, swinging her legs idly in the air, and Yzla plops herself down Harry's lap, setting his weapon aside. Fucking menace, that girl.

Jace himself takes the chair next to them and the boy stays standing.

(If Reza wouldn't be too busy with his current hookup, he would just lean against the wall and try to look very cool and intimidating, and smoke his cigarettes. Jace could do with a cigarette himself. Or better yet, a drink. The cigarette smoke reminds himself and Harry a bit too much of Cruella.)

„Now, tell us what you know,“ Jace asks the kid and damn. That kid. Does not shut up. Ever.

By the first thirty minutes, Yzla gets up and opens a bottle of wine to pass around, not even bothering with the glasses.

By an hour, Hermie is playing with her favourite dagger a bit too much and Harry has reclaimed back his handgun.

By hour and half, Jace is very ready to bleach his brain, thank you very much.

Hadie slows for a moment and Jace immediately stops him: „I think that's quite enough for today, Hadie,“ he says, „Thank you. Would you just step behind that door real quick?“

The kid pouts at him.

„Ehm… Me and my detectives need to discuss the evidence you just presented to us. And decide the, ehm, next course of action.“

Hadie finally steps behind the door when all present adults – including Eddie, who showed up half-way through – point at them.

And there is not much of a discussion, not really.

„Tell me we are taking that kid to Uma,“ blurts out Yzla before he can even speak.

„We could keep him,“ propose Hermie and Harry at the same time, and, yeah, no. As if Harry didn’t know they are barely staying afloat as it is, never mind, you know, not remotely responsible enough to raise a child?

…Yeah, it says a lot when a child would be safer on the streets, under the protection of one of the wildest Auradon City gangs, than anywhere else.

„We are taking him to Uma,“ decides Jace, and Yzla sights in relief. Eddie motions for her to pass the wine.

„You can come back, kid!“ Jace raises his voice, „We have decided!“

„Yay!“ the tiny disaster runs back to the room, „Do I get to be a detective too? Will we solve the case of my mother’s basement? Track down the victims’ family?“

Actually…

Jace knows how to get the kid to cooperate and go to safety voluntarily now: He winks at his associates, as to signal the general „don’t question me, I’ve got this.“

„Sure we are, kid. But, you see, right now we are working on another serious case, and we need you to help us. Will you be our eyes on the streets, detective Hadie?“

„Yes! I will, Mr detective sir! When do I start?“

„As soon as we can get you to the location. Now, let’s not lose any more time: We will debrief you on the way.“

That will hopefully give Jace enough time to come up with decent backstory, so, yeah.

With a yawn, Yzla gets up and sets off to her atelier, also known as the attic, not bothering to say goodbye, and Harry sets off to find his metal boxer and emergency knife.

„Reza is gonna be so mad he missed this-“ Hermie giggles, „It’s gonna be so much fun!“

And then, the Badun detective agency escorts its newest member, or, more accurately, adoptee, to Uma.

They don’t have any idea how much trouble they are causing Uma in the long run.

[bitchqueen1114]

Merry Christmas from the Badun Detective Agency!

Cuuuute! Yzla and Hermie are killing me with those looks, but Reza's tree hat takes the cake for me.

[hannahhook7744]

And you always have to remember that not all, if ANY, of the choices they had were trust worthy.

Poor Lil Yaz and his family just thought he had a cold, a bruised side, and a concussion and didn't want to make it worse by going to Gothel or by bothering Facilier.

And niether Zevon or Yzla had a medic friend to check him over so he just died.

Honestly I can't wait to see Beast face when he realizes that the moment the other isle kids are in Auardon he will not be able to ignore this anymore.

Okay, so you remember how I incorporated a scraped character named 'Lil Yaz' into my Badun Detective Agency au?

Well, picture this:

Zevon is dragged in front of the royal family after kidnapping Ben and Beast demands to know why HE DARED to do such a thing.

And Zevon just snarls at him "because you KILLED my brother!"

How does Ben react? How do he parents react?

Sorry if my questions are repetitive. I'm forgetful.

No, it's fine! I don't think you've asked this.

Beast is like "What brother? I've never killed anyone!"

Zevon proceeds to list his brother and any of his friends who have died from malnutrition, lack of medical supplies, etc.

Are the rest of the Badun agency here? Because they have the entire list.

There is much shouting.

Ben is horrified and immediately starts the process for getting better supplies to the Isle immediately, if he hasn't already.

Beast tried to convince himself nothing is his fault.

[cleverqueencommander]

What do you think of the following au:

(Sorry in advance for asking since this is rather dark).

On the isle, there are no cops. No Cps. Barely--if any-- enough doctors. Barely any supplies.

Because of this, crime and violence run rampant and unchecked.

And lots and lots of people die.

So the kids, as in canon, have to step up.

The older kids look out for the younger ones the best they can with the help of some of the nicer adults on the isle.

Adults like henchmen, petty criminals, Dr Facilier, Anastasia Tremaine, Lefou, and Smee.

But they don't always succeed.

Which is where one group of kids known as the Badun Detective Agency step in.

The Badun cousins (Harry and Jace), who have lost many siblings, stepmothers/aunts, pets, and cousins to Cruella while their fathers did nothing.

Hermie Bing who's beloved father-- the ring master-- died when she was young due to gulit and poor mental health leaving her alone.

Eddie Balthazar, who's eldery parents (Aunt Sarah and Edgar Balthazar) are stuck on the isle in poor condition. Who knows what a family is supposed to be like.

Reza who was mistreated horribly by his biological father-- the former royal astronomer of Agrabah-- and barely remembers his bio mother, a harem member, only to be taken in by Sadira and Mozenrath.

And sweet little Yzla who is separated from her father (Cedric) who is off the isle. Who has seen her mother be belittled by her grandmother (Amza) every day of her life as her little brother and older cousins turn darker and darker every day.

Together, they keep track of every horrible injury. Every missing person. Every domestic dispute. Every death. Occasionally getting help from Hades and Hadie.

Why do they do this, you ask?

Why, It's simple.

They do it in case the barrier is ever brought down or in case they ever get access to the internet so that Auardon's heroes can't sweep it-- them-- under the rug forever.

So that they don't forget everyone they left to die and suffer.

So that even if they die, it will leave a stain on the heroes' memories-- mainly Beast-- for what they did to them.

This is a very good concept! I burrowed some of your inspiration for my second gen story.

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

What do you think of the following au:

(Sorry in advance for asking since this is rather dark).

On the isle, there are no cops. No Cps. Barely--if any-- enough doctors. Barely any supplies.

Because of this, crime and violence run rampant and unchecked.

And lots and lots of people die.

So the kids, as in canon, have to step up.

The older kids look out for the younger ones the best they can with the help of some of the nicer adults on the isle.

Adults like henchmen, petty criminals, Dr Facilier, Anastasia Tremaine, Lefou, and Smee.

But they don't always succeed.

Which is where one group of kids known as the Badun Detective Agency step in.

The Badun cousins (Harry and Jace), who have lost many siblings, stepmothers/aunts, pets, and cousins to Cruella while their fathers did nothing.

Hermie Bing who's beloved father-- the ring master-- died when she was young due to gulit and poor mental health leaving her alone.

Eddie Balthazar, who's eldery parents (Aunt Sarah and Edgar Balthazar) are stuck on the isle in poor condition. Who knows what a family is supposed to be like.

Reza who was mistreated horribly by his biological father-- the former royal astronomer of Agrabah-- and barely remembers his bio mother, a harem member, only to be taken in by Sadira and Mozenrath.

And sweet little Yzla who is separated from her father (Cedric) who is off the isle. Who has seen her mother be belittled by her grandmother (Amza) every day of her life as her little brother and older cousins turn darker and darker every day.

Together, they keep track of every horrible injury. Every missing person. Every domestic dispute. Every death. Occasionally getting help from Hades and Hadie.

Why do they do this, you ask?

Why, It's simple.

They do it in case the barrier is ever brought down or in case they ever get access to the internet so that Auardon's heroes can't sweep it-- them-- under the rug forever.

So that they don't forget everyone they left to die and suffer.

So that even if they die, it will leave a stain on the heroes' memories-- mainly Beast-- for what they did to them.

I like it. Dark, but this is descendants, what’re we gonna do

[hannahhook7744]

Can i have the BDA'S Baby pictures please ?

Harry Badun:

Harry Badun doesn't have the baby pictures from the first year of his and Mable (his twin)'s life; Helga does.

He does have the baby pictures from when he was one and up.

But he can't look at any of them.

He's hugging and playing with Mable and Jace (and other siblings and cousins who are long gone) in most of them.

He gives most of the baby pictures he had to his long lost cousin, Lampwick, or lets (his half brother) Hunter de Vil and his mom, Helga Sinclair, have them.

But he kept one of these pictures. Just one.

It's a picture of him, Mable, Carlos, Hunter, and Jace from not long after the two of them were left at Hell Hall.

Carlos is in a dalmatian onesie, a tuff of white hair in his eyes and chewing on a stuffed dalmatian. Laying on Hunter's head.

Jace is in a hippopotamus onesie, reaching for his mother from behind the camera.

Hunter is fast asleep, still in his day to day clothes.

And Harry and Mable?

Why they're in giraffe costumes, hugging each other. Mable chewing on his hair and himself kicking Hunter in the face.

It's his favorite picture and the only one he can look at without having a breakdown.

Jace Badun:

Jace Badun has a lot of baby pictures for an isle kid even though Cruella destroyed a lot of them in fits of rage.

This is, of course, because his mom loved him and had access to a polaroid camera.

Jace was a big (and chubby) baby and was born with a head full of curly brown hair and big brown eyes.

There's pictures of him chewing on his hand.

There's pictures of him playing with Mable and Harry.

There's even a picture of his dad actually holding him and looking happy that he exists.

But mostly, there's just selfies his mom took while holding him because she couldn't get him to smile otherwise most of the time (baby Jace was very attached to his mama).

Hermie Bing:

Hermie has a decent amount of baby pictures and videoes.

Baby pictures that look really old timey because of the cameras used.

There's plenty of baby her with what little hair she had up in pigtails as she hugs a random animal from the circus.

There's one of every single circus performer holding her.

There's one where she's sitting on her dad's hat while he's hearing it (ready to catch her if she falls), drumming on it.

There's tons of her with clowns (even one where they dressed her as one).

There's also a video of her giggling and running from her dad to avoid getting a bath after playing in the mud.

Yzla Sorcerer:

Yzla's parents have a few polaroids of baby Yzla, but they have more drawings and even a couple of paintings of baby her.

There's one were baby Yzla (in a crow onesie) is holding a new born Zevon with Lil Yaz's assistance, eyebrow raised in an unimpressed/confused manner.

There's one of Lil Yaz holding her not long after she was born, looking mesmermized.

There's one of the very unhappy twins sitting next to Yzla. The boys bruised from fighting over who got to hold her, which led to them both being informed neither of them were getting too anymore. Yzla is chewing on her foot there.

There's one of Yzma holding her with an uncharacteristically soft smile, next to Cedric.

There's one of Yzla laughing gleefully and reaching for Wormwood the crow, who is trying to fly away. Hugging a kitten gently with Cedric nearby to intervene if necessary.

Yzla's least favorite is the one where her grandmother is holding her. She's in a maroon diaper and a baise shirt that looks vaguely like a toga, and she's crying and turning purple (an unfortunate inherited trait from her family where they all turn purple when extremely upset, angry, or frustrated) because her grandmother is holding her.

Reza Vizer:

Reza has one picture.

Just one.

And it's all because of his mother's coworker that he even has that.

It's of his mom (shortly before she died) holding him, a weak smile on her face and a soft look in her eyes. He's small in the picture and his hair is sticking up, and it looks like he's smiling as he naps on.

It's the only evidence he has that he was ever loved before he was adopted when he was eight.

Eddie Balthazar:

Eddie has the most baby pictures out of his friends.

There's several of him in sweaters and little tuxedos—Auradon clothes that his parents didn't even try to make look more isle like.

There's pictures of him in onesies. His hair in his eyes as he pouts, reaching for Si and Am who keep running from him.

There's a few of him snuggled up to Si and Am, and there's several of him with his parents (Sarah Brown from Lady and The Tramp & Eddie Balthazar from Aristocrats).

There's pictures of him eating.

Pictures of him sleeping.

Pictures of him playing.

There's a video of his first steps somewhere that one of their friends, Elvira or Amos Slade, must have taken.

There's even pictures of him with their friends and their friends' kids and one of him with a large rainbow Carnival pop/sucker/lolipop at the circus with a baby Hermie and a baby Jace both of which also large rainbow Carnival pops.

That one was quite a surprise to find and is his absolute favorite.

Elle Athanasiou:

Eric and Ariel don't have any baby pictures because they didn't adopt Elle till she was three.

But they have a ton of pictures of her from after they adopted her to make up for that (it's a lie, Eric and Ariel would actually probably kill someone for Elle's baby pictures. It kills them they don't have any of her like they do of her sisters and most of her cousins. Though they would also probably kill for their other adopted nieces and nephews' baby pictures).

Their favorite is a picture of her from when they first adopted her—the first one where she gives them a genuine smile after she got to hold one of Max's puppies (and keep it).

Hadie Athanasiou:

There's one of baby Hadie laying in a bed of flowers on what looks like Olympus: he's in an all black onesie with little skulls over it, hugging the flowers.

There's one of him napping on Cerberus with Cerberus's puppy, Flowey.

There's a few him with his siblings.

There's one of when his hair lit a flame for the first time and scared Pain and Panic.

But Hades' (and Persephone's) favorite is the one where Zeus is holding Hadie (who's in a flower onesie), who is mid puke (think the exorcist).

[isleofdarkness]

I just realized I forgot a few of your questions. Answer part 2

Lydia's deal with Madam Mim was that she would gain all knowledge pertaining to reproductive medicine (which ended up including bones, blood, organs in the thoracic and pelvic regions, hormones, growth, bacteria, viruses, fungal infections, some mental illnesses, and any defects, differences, and injuries that could occur through the whole reproductive process,) in exchange for Mim getting complete control over Lydia's soul with one condition Lydia could dictate- Lydia can never be forced to deny someone care.

Constantine's deal with Madam Mim was that Mim would take away his mother's ability to drain magic in exchange for Mim getting complete control over his soul with one condition he could dictate- Constantine can never be forced to deny anyone access to his magic.

Zevon's deal with Madam Mim was that its mother would live, that she would be able to take care of Yzla, in exchange for complete control over its soul with one condition it could dictate- Yzla and Yzma are to be protected no matter what, they are to be given everything they need to thrive and are not to be harmed.

For Lydia, it was her sister Aramina dying. Aramina died from an ectopic pregnancy because there was no one on the Isle to detect it. Lydia never wanted anyone else to die like that, so she reached out to Madam Mim when she was five

For Constantine, it was about minimizing risks. His mother couldn't be allowed to have her magic but taking it away required someone giving Madam Mim their soul. After watching Dawn's power and hearing her threats, he realized it couldn't be her because Mim could do a lot of damage with a power like that. But he had no power. He could make a deal. What kind of destruction could Mim do with him?

For Zevon, he just wanted his mama back. He wanted Yzla to have their mama back. The two were young, scared, watching their mama waste away and knowing they had nowhere to go. So Zevon made a deal to make sure Yzla could still have her mama. It didn't care what it lost, it just wanted to help its sister.

This deal basically voids their free will. Yes, they can make their own decisions, but those decisions can be overridden. Maddy has complete control over them when she wants and believe me, that's often. It doesn't matter how much they personally object to it, they are physically forced to follow her orders. As long as the orders don't break their condition, Maddy can override their free will and force them to do anything.

The social aspect goes both ways. Some people (Lydia, Constantine, Zevon,) make deals for good reasons. Others (Clay, the Gastons,) make deals for bad reasons. Before social stigma kicks in, you need to know why they made the deal. If they made the deal to help others, they can do no wrong and we support them and feel horrible for them. If they made the deal to have no consequences for their horrible actions, they are the lowest of the low while also terrifying us and we need to stay away from them. There's also the matter of Lydia, Constantine, and Zevon using their immortality to provide life-saving blood and tissue donations, so we all love them. There's always a way they'll be treated differently, it just depends on why they made the deal

hii!! i just found your page and your au is super well structured//

but who is exactly is constantine (parents, personality, etc.) and what is their backstory? what is their deal with mim? what pushed they to make the deal? how does the deal effect them, positively and negatively? what groups on the isle are they in? also how do the deals with mim work with constantine, lydia, and zevon? are there any social repercussions that people face through making a deal?

sorry if it’s a lot, but i just wanted to clear some stuff up. but this is all really cool!!// -silver

(This probably won't make much sense but I just spent an hour on it so if you see any typos, no you didn't. And never apologize for sending an ask.)

Constantine is the chosen name of Hans Westergaard the second, he changed it because he doesn't want to share a name with that monster. His parents are Hans Westergaard of the Southern Isles and Nerissa "Queen of Bitchville, born from a long line of shitty mothers." He's Anna Westergaard's older brother at 19.

Anyone who's met Constantine would describe him as a very sweet kid. They would tell you about how shy and quiet he is, how happy he is, how he seems like he doing so much better than everyone else on the Isle.

Most people are idiots.

Yes, Constantine is naturally gentle and forgiving and quiet, but a lot of the things people think are cute about him are actually iceberg symptoms of a long list of disorders. Constantine has both selective and elective mutism, borderline personality disorder, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified, multiple motor disorders, multiple speech disorders, internalized emotional dysregulation, reduced affect display, multiple types of anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, a lot of worrying coping mechanisms, and an attachment issue that I can't find a name to but definitely should have a name. Constantine has a lot of issues from how he was raised. As a result, people he doesn't trust see Constantine when he's protecting himself. They see him employing a long list of survival mechanisms and repression of a lot of his personality because that's what he's learned will protect him. These behaviours will keep people from hurting him, so he doesn't try to hide them. The ones that would make people angry or would let people see the real him get hidden. To almost everyone, Constantine plays a part. Only two other people see who he really is.

Constantine is extremely emotionally intelligent, he can practically read minds. Even with Lydia, who experiences emotion in an abnormal way and hides what she does feel. Constantine can read her like a book. He has a sailor's mouth and an extremely dark sense of humour, but he makes sure he doesn't make people uncomfortable. He laughs at everything, even the dumbest of dad jokes, even things that other people wouldn't find humour in. He understands technology like no one else. Give him a pile of junk and he can make you an artificial heart that functions perfectly. He'll listen to every story anyone is willing to tell him and will beg Lydia to read any book he can get his hands on because he never learned how. He's the kind who would give his left arm if someone needed it but there's no way in hell you're touching his charger. He loves, trusts, and forgives Lydia and Zevon no matter what. He makes sure they both eat, sleep, and take care of themselves. He makes sure Lydia knows how beautiful she is, scars and all, and makes sure that Zevon doesn't doubt his intelligence for a second. He hugs them both at least once a day, tells them that he loves them, and makes sure that they know that, no matter what, he's proud of them. He supports them.

As for his story...

Warning for below the cut- forced underage prostitution, childhood sexual abuse, childhood physical abuse, complete lack of safety and anyone he could trust growing up, slavery, body horror involving mould, mental illness, and traumatic amputation

Hans started selling Constantine when he was a few months old. Constantine basically left the house when he was three months old and didn't come back until he was eight, because Hans would just toss him between brothels to try and figure out which one had the highest amount of paedo clients. He never had a safe, solid foundation, never had someone taking care of him for more than a few weeks at a time. He didn't even know he had a sister, who was two years younger than him, until he caught a small glimpse of her when Nerissa had him dragged back home. She was looking for magic and was trying to drain it from people with inherent magic. Constantine can't actively use magic, but he's constantly absorbing it and storing it. He's kind of a magical reservoir. When someone needs some in a pinch, such as what's about to happen, they can take some from him to begin to replenish their own.

Nerissa tried to use this reservoir. She reached into his chest, wrapped her hands around his heart, and started draining his magic.

It's been well over a decade since that happened, but Constantine will never forget the feeling of his own mother taking his life and rending his soul. He will never forget the way she grinned as she destroyed him.

And then Dawn got between them.

Constantine hadn't known, but this had been going on for weeks. His mother had killed over a dozen people and tried to kill a couple dozen more. The hardest hitters (Justice, Maverick, Mordred, Desdemona,) couldn't get close- if that magic got into Nerissa's hands, the damage would be unparalleled. But Dawn, with a magic of misery and decay, could.

When Nerissa reached into Dawn's heart, she didn't know that Dawn had focused every tiny piece of her godly magic around it. The shock of that level of power lowered her walls, and Dawn put everything she had into her attack. Constantine watched as black mould filled Nerissa's veins and organs, as Devil's Fingers ripped through her skin, as Dawn forced an immortal body to decompose in the most powerful was she could think of. It lasted maybe fifteen seconds but it put the fear of the gods into him.

When Dawn collapsed, trying to force her magicks to stabilize so she wouldn't incinerate Constantine and Anna, Constantine put a hand on her shoulder on reflex and let her draw from the reservoir. He'll never forget how hard Dawn was shaking.

"I can't do that again- fuck, I can't play with my humanity like that. If I..." she shuddered, taking a deep breath. It was easy to tell she was speaking to only herself. "That'll keep her down for maybe two days but that's all I can do. There's no way to fix this, she's gonna wipe us out-"

"Or," a new voice trilled. Constantine whipped around to face the newcomer, and grinning woman with a mane of purple hair. Despite her tiny stature and obvious age, he immediately identified her as a threat. "You know my offer, dear."

"And you know my answer, Auntie." Dawn forced herself to her feet, black eyes narrowed in contempt. "I said no and when I say no, I mean it. And the same goes for Justice. Our answers aren't changing and if you keep harassing us, Styx'll kick your ass so hard your spine will pop outta your mouth like some kind of PEZ dispenser. I don't care how close we are to family, I am this close to ending you. It doesn't count as spilling your blood if I turn your blood cells into black mould spores and fill your brain with yellowjackets and make horseshoe crabs fill your lungs and-"

Long story short, Dawn spent a good five minutes detailing to Madam Mim how she was going to use the forces of predation, decomposition, and a bunch of other stuff to make her suffer if she didn't stop bugging her and Justice. What had she been bothering Dawn and Justice about?

She'd offered that she would take away Nerissa's ability to steal magic if they sold their souls to her. Considering Dawn was part primordial and Justice can alter probability in her immortal favor, neither of them could do that.

But Constantine could. He didn't have anything that could hurt anyone, just something that could help people. He struck a deal, his soul for Mim taking away Nerissa's terrifying power, and his condition was that she could never stop him from giving the magic that he couldn't use to people who needed it. He was eight when he sold his soul.

For one sweet year, his life got better. Then he was sold to Maddy Mim, and what little happiness he'd built around himself came crashing down.

Madam Mim didn't have much need for cruelty, only control. As long as he did what she said, he wouldn't get punished. After eight years of sex work, Constantine was very good at doing what he was told. But that wasn't enough for Maddy.

Maddy loves causing pain. She would find any excuse to cause pain. She would cause pain when she was bored, when she was happy, when she was angry, when she had a few minutes where she didn't have anything to do. And her grandmother sold her three perfect punching bags.

Lydia, Constantine, and Zevon.

Constantine had it the worst. Zevon could go into its head and it wouldn't feel pain, wouldn't remember what happened. Lydia was hard to punish directly because she has absolutely no pain response and doesn't care what happens to her. Constantine, however, feels pain. He's been trained to express pain his entire life, sometimes to express pain he doesn't even feel. Constantine was fun.

He also became a way to punish the other two (usually Lydia.) If they do something wrong, it's probably going to be him getting hurt. Maddy's favourite way to get back at Lydia quickly became to chain her to the wall and force her to watch the consequences of her actions. Maddy would sell an hour with Constantine to the cruellest of the cruel, the ones who would love to have their way with someone they didn't have to worry about killing. Gaston is a regular. In fact, it's usually him. Sometimes Maddy will force Lydia to torture Constantine, or she'll force her to say cruel things until Constantine is in tears. That's how Constantine lost his leg- Maddy forced Lydia to take an axe to it.

But if she wanted this to make the three resent each other, it hasn't worked. If anything, the three are closer because of what she's put them through. Lydia and Zevon are the only two Constantine welcomes touch from. Constantine and Zevon are the only two allowed to treat Lydia's wounds and see her more humiliating scars. Constantine and Lydia are the only two Zevon trusts around it while it's asleep or otherwise vulnerable. Instead of pitting the three of them against each other, she's pitted the three of them against the world.

[hannahhook7744]

Moral Alignments for the BDA ?

Yzla: Lawful good (according to principle).

Elle: Lawful good.

Hadie: Chaotic good.

Harry: Chaotic good.

Jace: Lawful good (according to principle).

Hermie: Chaotic good.

Eddie: Netural good? Maybe?

Reza: Netural good? Maybe?

Mystery the turtle: Chaotic Neutral.

If anyone thinks otherwise based on how I portrayed them let me know.

[hannahhook7744]

Do you think the BDA members would keep a journal and/or a diary?

Ace McCard of Wonderland:

By choice? No.

By force via school assignment that he never bothers to touch after the fact? Yes.

Avalon Mim-Knightley of the Isle:

Yes.

But it's mostly full of everything she knows about the Mims and her imagining what her relationship with each and every member would be pre-meeting them.

She burns it after Maddy accidentally reads it.

Bill Cook of Wonderland:

Yes, but it's a handmade cook book with notes that tell just a little too bit about his life.

Chester Chatty of Wonderland:

Yes.

But absolutely nobody other than Ace and Red can read it because he writes in it upside down (messily) and in code, and half of the words are doodled over or smudged.

Chloe Charming of Cinderellasburg:

Yes.

She started keeping one after Chad did because she was itty bitty and wanted to be like her big brother (who mellowed out as an adult but at the time she didn't know what he was like to others in highschool). Anyway, she ended up enjoying it and now looks back at other old journals to see what she was like.

Though unlike the others she's very aware that others could potentially read it because Audrey told her about how others read and wrote in hers.

So she doesn't write anything too incriminating in there.

But she does very much write musings on Red, like you suggested in your own post and (before Red noticed her), she wrote about how jealous she was of Ace because she wanted Red to look at her like that.

(And after Red noticed her and Ace came back no longer having any romantic interest in Red, she painted over those pages so that absolutely no one could find out what she used to think of Ace).

Danny Stuart-Darling of Darling Coast:

Yes.

It has little doodles of Neverland, fairies, pirates, etc in it too (he also hides it in his wall).

Dee Tweedle of Wonderland:

Yes.

Though no one can really read it besides Twee because most of the words are smudged and there are splashes of ink/paint everywhere because she usually writes very fast due to her energy.

She writes in it no matter the emotion she's feeling even with her sharing her emotions with others.

Dora Dormington of Wonderland:

Yes but she usually ends up destroying the pages she writes in so that Twee (when she's working for the Queen of Hearts because not much other choice) and the Queen of Hearts can't ever read what she writes.

Mainly because she knows it'll probably be considered treason.

Eddie Balthazar:

A personal one?

No because he has absolutely no energy for that between going to school, taking care of his parents and the cats, his detective work, and all the various jobs he does to survive.

A shared one he and the BDA have as a 'bonding exercise' yes but he doesn't write in it often.

Edith Athanasiou of the Isle:

No, she thinks it's stupid.

Elle Athanasiou of Tirulia:

Yes, because it helps her keep a good hold on her temper/emotions.

She started keeping one as soon as she learned how to write because her therapist that her parents got for her after she was adopted suggested it.

Everlee D'Aquire of the Isle:

Yes, but absolutely no one wants to read it because of how scary some of the things she writes are.

(Her friends all learned the hard way not to read other people's journal, from her)?

Glauco White of Charmington:

No.

He doesn't really like touching paper more than he has to after the Evil Queen turned him into a tree.

Hadie Athanasiou of the Underworld:

He used to but he stopped because he kept accidentally burning it to ash when he got too upset/angry (like Lava Girl in 'The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl').

Harry Badun:

Both personal and shared, yes, because in his words 'detectives need dairies for improvement' and 'team bonding'.

Hermie Bing:

Yes.

She uses colorful ink and doodles all kinds of clowns, animals, and tricks in it and in the group's shared journal.

Jace Badun:

Yes but only when he's pissed off or writing in the group's shared journal.

Katy Pillar of Wonderland:

Yes and it's rather boring.

It also smells like smoke.

Khalil Hunterson of the Isle:

Nope.

He's not really interested in them.

Lada Haggins of the Isle:

Tried to do one but got bored half way through.

Lazarus Stromboli of the Isle:

Yes, but it's more of a dream journal than a regular journal/diary.

Maddox Hatter of Wonderland:

Yes.

It smells like tea and is mainly filled with ideas for inventions and rambles about Red's recklessness and his fears for her safety.

Miriam Monroe of the Isle:

Yes.

It's filled with rants about her mom, ideas about how her brother might be like as a person, and theories on who her dad might be, and absolutely nothing else.

Panos Imp-Coachmen of the Isle:

Yes but if you read it, it will give you anxiety because it's filled with his anxious ramblings.

Paro Imp-Athanasiou of the Isle:

Yes.

Panos accidentally read it once and had nightmares for months because it's mainly filled with Paro's fascination over the pain he can't feel and doodles of graphic horror movie scenes.

Red Hearts of Wonderland:

Yes.

It's filled with rants about everything she hates regarding Wonderland and her parents and her feelings for Ace (back when she had them) that turned into feelings for Chloe.

You can pin point the exact moment she realized she was into girls (Chloe specifically) in the diary.

Reza Vizer of Agrabah:

Twee Tweedle of Wonderland:

Yes.

He writes both a personal journal that is filled with all the random ideas he has, things he wants to learn about, and past traumatic experiences and takes part in the team bonding exercise that is having a team journal.

Shan Deja of the Isle:

Yes but it's only filled with descriptions of fights she and the other have been in.

Yes.

It helps her keep her emotions in check, which when she was working for the Queen of Hearts she definitely needed (especially with Red frustrating her like she did, even though it wasn't really either of their faults).

Zuri Crocuta of the Isle:

Yzla Sorcerer of Enchania:

Yes.

She writes in both the team journal and a personal one.

In her personal journals she complains about Zevon's antics, how they drive her mother crazy, how much she hates her grandmother and her aunt, how much she misses Lil Yaz, how worried she is for Zim and Zam, and how complicated her feelings regarding her father (Cedric)'s work are.

Not really.

She didn't really learn how to write until she got to Auradon because her mom couldn't teach her how to do it with her hands, and none of her team mates or mentors thought to teach her since she didn't go to school.

[hannahhook7744]

What exracuricular activities do the BDA kids pick up in your BDA Descendants rewrite?

Eddie: Sewing Club and Drama.

Elle: Drama, Art, and Psychology.

Hadie: Drama. Maybe Cooking Club and Band when he's older.

Harry: Drama, Ethics Club, and School Newspaper (all of which he nearly gets kicked out of).

Hermie: Drama, Acapella, and Gymnastics.

Jace: Drama and Tourney.

Reza: Drama, Debate Club, Agrabah Club, and Astronomy Club.

Yzla: Drama, Band, and Gymnastics.

Mystery: Fight Club.

If anyone is interested in the other proteges' clubs lMK.

Thanks for the ask! And Thanks @casinotrio1965 for the help.

[hannahhook7744]

How did Yzla and Reza get together? Who asked first, was it awkward or super romantic, etc

Yzla asked Reza out.

And it was awkward. Mostly on Reza's part because he dropped a potion they were working on and knocked over a bottle of ink (the question startled him because he honestly thought she was way out of his league).

It's a story Yzla loves to tell.

[hannahhook7744]

Based on this post:

This is how the Badun Detective Agency react to being hit by a car.

Hermie would just cry because getting hit by a car, hurts. Obviously.

Reza would just look up at the car and back at his chest. "Well, that's gonna leave a mark."

Harry would say "Watch it, I'm walking here!"

Hadie and Jace would try and see if the driver was okay.

Yzla would walk away embarrassed.

And Eddie would just fall asleep and freak everyone out, making them think he was dead and would then be confused as to why they were freaking out later.

Oh and Mystery would bite their tire.

[hannahhook7744]

The Badun Detective Agency's First Laugh Fairies (Part 1);

Okay, since Neverland fairies are created from a babies' first laugh that means everyone who's ever laughed has one. Including the Badun Detective Agency so here we are.

Thanks @casinotrio1965 for both the idea and the help.

Might make a similar thing for the rest of descendants kids or the Hannah Hook crew if anyone is interested.

I'll also make Samantha Cove and the rest of the proteges' fairies later.

Here's the picrew I used.

------------------------------------------------------------

The Main Agents' fairies:

Name: Buck Peregrine.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Fairy Type: Animal-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Hermione 'Hermie' Leona Bing.

Name: Star Peregrine.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Performing-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Hermione 'Hermie' Leona Bing.

Name: Bendy Peregrine.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Pretzel-twisting-talent

Spawner: Hermione 'Hermie' Leona Bing.

Name: Dolly Dust.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Rare-Item-Finding Fairy.

Spawner: Yzla Sorcerer of Enchania.

Name: Charity Helpfrid.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Helper-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Jason 'Jace' Nelson Badun.

(Note: She injured her wings while out on an errand so she can't fly).

Name: Scribbles Memra.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Scribe-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Reza Vizer of Agrabah.

Name: Iris Seer.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Message-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Edmund 'Eddie' Seraiah Balthazar.

Name: Enigma Spade.

Pronouns:He/Him.

Fairy Type: Problem-Solving Talent.

Spawner: Harold 'Harry' Everett Badun.

The Proteges:

Name: Agni Blaze.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Fairy Type: Fire-Talent Fairy.

Spawner: Hayden 'Hadie' Prometheus Athanasiou of the Underworld.

The Bonuses:

Name: Ripple Bay.

Pronouns: She/Her.

Fairy Type: Water Talent.

Spawner: Elle Corinne Athanasiou of Tirulia.

Name: Ripley Bay.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Fairy Type: Water Talent.

Spawner: Elle Corinne Athanasiou of Tirulia.

Name: Doodle Crafty.

Pronouns: He/Him.

Fairy Type: Art Talent.

Spawner: Mabletrude 'Mable' Angelica Badun |.

[hannahhook7744]

Badun Detective Agency Incorrect Quotes (Part 1);

Trigger warnings; death threats, faking a disability, swearing, crime, etc. Let me know if I should add to the trigger warnings.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hermie: Eddie, quick, reel it in! Can't you hear the music? That's a 4/4 string ostinato in D minor! Every sailor knows that means death! Reel it in before it's too late!

Eddie *wishing he hadn't gone fishing with Hermie* I know, I know I'm trying!

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Harry: Strawberry milk doesn’t taste like strawberry OR milk.

Jace: Go the fuck to sleep Harry

Harry: Rude!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Dumbest scar stories, go!

Eddie: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.

Jace: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.

Reza: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.

Harry: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.

Hermie: I have emotional scars.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A SPLEEN?

Harry: Oh, I thought I told you about that.

Eddie *sipping on a slurpee* no, no. You told me about that after I told you about my kidney.

Jace: YOU'RE MISSING A KIDNEY?!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, rubbing their temples: I am not proud of what I am about to say, but someone get me a cigarette

Yzla: But Jace, we don't smoke.

Jace: Cut the crap, Yzla. I'm not an idiot. I know that one in five people smoke.

Jace *points at Eddie* One! *points at Harry* Two! *points at Reza* Three! *points at Hermie* Four! *points at Yzla* Five!

Jace: Now, I am going to close my eyes, and when I open them, there better be a cigarette between these two fingers!

Harry *puts a cigarette in Jace's hand*

Jace: Thank you....Light?

The Squad: *all simultaneously pull out lighters*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hermie: I’m in love with you.

Eddie: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Hermie: I know.

Eddie: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Reza: Did it hurt when you fell-

Yzla: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt—

Reza: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Yzla:

Reza: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Eddie: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.

Hermie: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.

Eddie:

Eddie: You mean ring bearER, right?

Hermie:

Eddie: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate—like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Reza: This is a lie.

Reza: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Reza: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Yzla: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Reza: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Yzla: Stop.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: The Protégés~~~

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie *sighing* a fate worse than death.

Yzla *embarrassed and annoyed* They're burnt cupcakes! They aren't gonna kill you!

Hadie: that's what they all say.

Yzla: Who's they?!

Hadie *shrugs* They.

Yzla *turning purple with frustration as she throws her hands up* That explains nothing!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Jace: WHY IS THERE A MAGIC PORTAL IN THE TOILET?!

Hadie and Edith: I DIDN’T DO IT! 

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Red to Danny and Glauco: If we get caught.. You're deaf, he’s blind, and I don’t speak English. Got it?

Danny: Alright. Sounds good to me.

Glauco: How am I supposed to fake being blind?

Red: I don’t know! Do I have to figure everything out myself?

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Hadie: OW! BAD MYSTERY, BAD! MY FINGER IS NOT A CHEW TOY!

Mystery *still biting his finger*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♂️🕵

Hadie, in the underworld with his crush: Would anyone like some refreshments? I have pomegranates!

Danny: Oooo, don’t mind if I do—

Chloe *Quickly smacks Danny’s hand before he can grab one* NO NO NO! NO POMEGRANATES!

Danny: ow! What is up with you?

Chloe *exasperated* Just do not eat anything given to you down here. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.

Hadie *pouts* It wasn’t even grown down here. 

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Maddox, seeing a banana sitting in a car seat: What the FUCK??!

Maddox, buckling the banana up: Fucking buckle UP, it’s the LAW! 

Edith:

Maddox:

Edith: This is exactly why I have no interest in dating. 

Maddox: Do you wanna get an A in Family Studies or not?

Edith: To be perfectly honest, I think this is stupid. How is taking care of a  stupid banana with googly eyes glued on supposed to prepare us for parenthood? I don’t even want kids! We’re still kids!

Maddox *gasps dramatically and covers the Banana’s nonexistent ears* Don’t talk about Hattie like that!

Edith: You name—WE ARE NOT NAMING IT THAT!

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Deja to Maddox: Why? Why do you do this! *gestures to the stolen antique photos covering Maddox’s side room* 

Maddox: Because it’s the one thing you can’t replace.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lada, playing McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Zuri: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Lada: Spear.

Zuri: BLOCKED.

Lada: You can’t block me! We’re in real life!

Zuri *growls* Watch me! *slams door in her face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Paro: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Panos:

Paro:

Panos: ...Please, go back to bed.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Khalil: Hey, let’s mess with Miriam, guys! 

Avalon: Hey,Miriam, your momma so fat- 

Miriam: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison. 

Everlee: Well, uh- your dad- 

Miriam: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets. 

Avalon: The fuck- 

Lazarus: Well then... 

Khalil: Stop, Lazarus! 

Lazarus: Your grandparents so- 

Miriam: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted. 

Miriam: You cannot best me, mortals.

Lazarus: Your brother so—

Everyone else: LAZARUS! 

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Avalon: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Khalil: Please, just say fuck.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

Lazarus *out cold on the ground*

Everlee: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?!

Miriam, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Lazarus’s face*

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️

~~~Bonus: Elle (Jace's civilian partner)~~~

Jace: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Elle: AS ENEMIES?!

Jace:

Jace: No.

🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵🕵‍♀️🕵‍♂️🕵

Jace, sweating: Elle, there’s something I need to ask you-

Elle: Finally! You’re proposing!

Jace: How’d you know?

Elle: Jace, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Elle: I even picked it up once.

[hannahhook7744]

badun detective agency fluff where they just gotta help someone find their missing pet that accidentally ran away! Reza and some of his friends maybe! (Or maybe the entire agency? Hmmm)

Trigger warnings; missing pets, animal attacks, illness, and mention of death.

🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

"I'm sorry, what?" Harry must have heard Hook wrong because there was absolutely no possible way—

"I said I need ya to find Gil's cat," Hook growled with frustration, thrusting a single piece of parchment paper into his face as his eyes shifted around the room. Refusing to meet his own.

Harry was too baffled to be offended and didn't even bother glaring at the older boy as he examined the sheet.

It had a nicely done ink drawing of a white cat with an eye patch covering its left eye and the word 'Lost' above its head. A drawing that was frankly too nicely done to be drawn by Uma (who was only good at drawing sea and pirate related things) or Gil (who wasn't the best at drawing things that weren't egg or weight related).

Harry glanced at Hook over the poster, subtly, studying him for a moment as he wondered where Hook had gotten the drawing from. Only to pause when he spotted a quill in Harry's coat pocket, ink smudges on his fingertips, and an ink splatter on his shirt.

It didn't take a genius to deduce that he had cut out the middleman and drawn it himself so that Gil's supposed cat could be found quicker. Which brought him back to one of his other many questions...

"Since when does Gil have a cat? "

Harry had never heard of the LeGumes having any pets other than Gaston's hellion of a dog that sent shivers down his spine every time he came across it after the summer of shortages and sepsis a few years back.

No one had ever mentioned a cat.

And Gastin hated cats.

He chewed on his lip, annoyed by the information he was just now finding out.  The information which was completely contradictory to what was common knowledge.

It didn't make any sense.

Harry hated it when things didn't make sense.

"He's had the damned thing for a fortnight and it doesn't leave the ship for obvious reasons," Hook replied looking miserable.

"How long has it been missing?"

"Since this mornin'. Sunshine asked me to look after it while he watched mini-sunshine and he won't be back till Monday, and I took my eye off of the blasted little welt for five minutes and now it's gone—"

Harry put a hand up to silence him, already sensing that his nickname buddy frenemy was about to blow a fuse.

"Alright Alright, chill. We'll find the cat before Gil gets back. What's its name?"

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"Who names a cat, Patchy?" was the first question that his team asked after he and Jace debriefed them on their newest case.

Harry wasn't surprised in the slightest that it was Reza of all people who asked the question.

"Really, Re, that's the part you focus on?" Yzla sighed, resting her head in his lap. No doubt exhausted from the emotional reunion between her, Zevon, and their family the other night.

Harry really wished she had stayed home and rested instead of answering his call on the walkie. But after 9 years of working with her, he knew better than to try and send her back home when they had a case. No matter the circumstances.

"What? It's a valid inquiry!"

Eddie rolled his eyes from the beat up bean bag chair in the corner, sipping on a slushie he somehow managed to get his hands on. Hermie was halfway asleep in his lap, playing with the zipper on his jacket.

"What else would he have named it? Anophthalmia?"

"Anything would have been a more suitable name than 'Patchy'! It's undignified!"

"I highly doubt Patchy is insecure about his name—"

"You cannot say for sure that he is not!"

"I'm sorry, which one of us has a cat?"

"You're not special, Eddie. Yzla has a cat as well—"

"I never said I was—"

"Guys can we please not fight—

"Stay out of this Jace!"

Jace let out a long suffering sigh from beside him and Harry couldn't help but think that just maybe his cousin didn't get paid enough for this.

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“Here kitty, kitty, kitty—” 

“Are you expecting the cat to answer you back?” Reza asked, looking at Eddie as if he had lost his mind. 

Eddie ignored him and kept calling out for the cat, hoping they’d find it soon and relatively unharmed—while also trying very hard not to think of his and his mother’s own cats back home. He couldn’t stand to think of them scared and all alone, and possibly hurt or worse. It hurt too much.

He hoped Gil wouldn’t even notice Patchy was gone. At least until they found him. He had enough to worry about without adding this on top of it.

“Here kitty, kitty, kitty! Come out, come out, come out wherever you are!”

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Harry rested his chin on his fist from where he sat atop a rock. Eyes cold and calculating as they scanned the area around them for clues.

Jace could practically hear the gears turning inside his head. 

He wondered if it would be inappropriate to make a joke about being happy that his cousin was actually using his brain for once instead of just throwing himself head first into their investigation before deciding against it.

They couldn’t giggle (or fight): They were at a crime scene. Well, if the last place one saw a missing pet counted as a crime scene. 

Either way, they were on a case. It wouldn’t be right to giggle when Gil was at home watching his sister—completely unaware that his beloved kitten had been lost by his best friend. Who was probably somewhere freaking out about the fact that said beloved kitten was probably, maybe dead.

Jace was torn away from his thoughts by a long, loud, tired sounding sigh that originated from his cousin. Who was now pinching the bridge of his nose, clearly frustrated at their lack of progress.

Like always.

“Now if I was a cat, where would I wander off to?”

Jace bit back a groan. Just knowing that they were most certainly gonna require a first aid kit when they got back to base because of whatever Harry was about to do.

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"Hermie get down from there!" Yzla called out, cringing at the sheer height of the tree Hermie was in.

"Relax, 'Zla! I'll be fine. I'm an acrobat, remember?" Hermie replied, her voice airy. Head in the clouds and not a care in the world. 

"Being an acrobat won't save you from a broken neck!"

"You worry too much!"

"Hermie, I'm not kidding–"

Yzla could hear the frantic thump, thump, thump of her heart as Hermie grew smaller and smaller in the air. 

Was this what it felt like to have a heart attack?

"I'm fine—AHH!" 

SNAP. 

SNAP. 

CRACK.

SNAP. 

"HERMIE!" 

Hermie plummeted to the ground, branches of the thin tree just barely slowing her descent in time for Yzla to sprint over and catch her. 

The beating of her heart was almost deafening now. 

Hermie gave her a sheepish look, holding up a very scared kitten. The exact kitten they'd been looking for.

"Found him!"

Yzla said nothing, giving her a death glare. Far from amused and still too terrified to be in a celebratory mood.

"I'm banned from field work for the foreseeable future again, aren't I?"

Yzla nodded as she slowly began the track back to their base. Still carrying Hermie and the kitten. 

At least Hermie wouldn't be alone in her field work ban, since knowing Harry, he'd probably gotten hurt too and far worse than her.