#destroying and separating families
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slowlyfoggydestiny · 7 days ago
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#going personal here but I saw my paternal grandfather for the first time on almost three years in a videocall#and god I almost cry yes I knew was going to older I also knew the health issues he been having this past year have taking a toll making him#look even older but still#i hate that I didn’t saw that progressively I hate the way time pass and pass#and how much I miss with my family because we can’t visit#I hate I hate it I hate eve more that is not my fault and not my parents#is the fault of a group of people that gained power and decided to fuck over the country without any single care#destroying and separating families#if I had all the money in the world there’s just one place I will choose to spent every single vacation and is there with my family#I miss my grandparents my uncles and aunts my cousins I grew close in my childhood#and only a few I remains close now because time and distance#I miss and mourned all the birthdays and chrismast and celebrations#hell I couldn’t even say goodbye to my maternal grandmother I had no funeral no closure#I mourned the close relationship I could have had if the things were different#I don’t regret where I live the life I have but I wish It didnt came with the cost of being away from them#and again is not even my or my parents fault is venezuela was a fucking normal country I would aee them twice or at least once a year#which is not that much but is something#i don’t give a damn about catholic forgiveness I will never never forgive el chavismo and what they did#this is their fault this is the consequences of having people if they can be called that#that only cared about money and power and decide to destroy a country and the people in it to get it#I wish them the worst in this life and the next one#I remain catholic only to believe there’s a special place in hell for all of them#a place were the one that started that shit is burning currently I just now it#I hope they all suffer because is not fair
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iloveacronix · 9 months ago
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I hate how I have to clarify to people that I don't ship timecest, especially because my blog is mainly about the twins. I should NOT have to clarify ANYTHING. It's common sense to NOT ship siblings, heck, FAMILY together.
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thinking about 4halo again and dying
they just. they used to be so sweet together. and then the election arc managed to genuinely turn them against each other (and bad is still affected by being caged in the museum) and i would NOT have been surprised if a rebellion had started within the next few weeks after their last fight and. they used to be friends and then they almost destroyed each other
and then the eggs went missing
and there are so many parallels between them, but one of the biggest parallels is how they're both protectors. they both protected the eggs (and, when he became president, forever extended that protection to the other islanders) but the eggs went missing and they had to put all of that aside. Forever was quicker to put it down than Bad was (it felt like only a very temporary truce, from Bad's end), but they put their problems on hold, because their eggs. were gone.
and another parallel. the destruction. both of them with their plans to cause ruin because then, maybe, theyll get their kids back. bad caused most of the grieving arc damage directly, and got aypierre and antoine to help him. he dug holes in the ground. he placed mines everywhere and leapt into them. he started the lavacasting process of the fed building (and was interrupted by admins, so he stopped, but philza and fit were still right to laugh at him lmaoo). he drilled a hole through the side of the federation office from a huge distance away. he has chosen to hurt his friends and himself to get the eggs back. whatever the cost.
forever destroyed the island. or he planned to destroy the island. or he was interrupted just before he destroyed the island or or or. I don't know. but it was big, and it was bad. bad enough that the feds had to step in and forcefully drug him, and kickstart the happy pills arc.
and the happy pills arc..... oughghghgh as fucking awful as it was for their characters to experience i genuinely truly think that it saved them from each other. when he was first told about forever being fucked up bad was still in the "i need to kick his butt" mindset, and was all ready for an excuse to kill forever. and then he saw forever. and the first proposal happened. and bad was angry and he was sad and upset and he was careful. forever tried to kill him. bad decided to save him. forever kept trying to marry him. forever kept taking the pills. forever was so scared of his own anger and all of the damage he could and would have caused to his family that he kept taking drugs that kept him so out of his mind he hallucinated his son was just sleeping safely at his house.
and they both tried to kill each other. and they both failed.
and bad showed phil and cellbit (and tubbo) the item scanner that dapper discovered, which could destroy him, because nothing else was working. because they needed to save forever. because bad was reminded by then that forever was a victim of the federation instead of just a mouthpiece for it. and then when forever woke up he saw bad, suffering, and so excited to see him awake.
and now they're here on opposite sides again with forever projecting his protection urges onto the fed worker in bad's basement and bad frustrated that he isn't being believed and his evil plans of giving ron lemons apology brownies is being interrupted and. look at them. soft "i hate you" and the appreciation room and bad's quiet heartbreak when he learned about forever being missing and the "i miss you" book bad got mad at because it asked him not to torture fed workers. does anyone hear me im so ill about them. do you understand they care about each other so much and the happy pills arc reminded them of that. forever realized bad is colourblind and bad assumed forever was poisoning him and then forever helped bad cheat on another colourblindness test and forever was giving bad flowers and bad was accepting them and accepted that he was colourblind despite his previously constant denial and! i don't know if im being comprehensible and i dont really care i will be honest i just need you to know i am frothing at the mouth like a rabid little beast. they are a TRAGEDY of miscommunication and external pressure but they love so so much. platonic or romantic or qpp they CARE and it tears me to shreds
#qsmp#4halo#i feel like ive talked about this exact thing like three separate times but#its one of those things that really Kills Me#and its CRUCIAL to understanding them and their relationship#they were fighting and now have found peace in hell#and forever using his care for bad as a distraction to not focus on his Own woes#and the way he's so sure bad needs help the way he was helped that at heart bad is a good person who doesnt want to be hurting people#and in a Way he's right. bad doesn't want to hurt his loved ones. everyone else? yeah. in a heartbeat. but his family...#but he's still makign the choice to do it. it's not lashign out in desperation the way forever destroying the island was#bad is hurting people with Purpose. he's putting thought into it. he's testing people and their knowledge and their motivations and he will#use them all as tools that can be bent and broken if it means they get the eggs back. he'll do it to himself too#especially to himself#ghhhgrhrgh the way theyre both self sacrificial and self destructive the Parallels the fucking parallels#i can best examine their relationship from a bbh pov and it agonizes me because i can't get all the nuance of forever's pov#because i dont speak portuguese yet :c#so best i can do is talk crazy about them like a Lure for other analyst shippers#pspspssps dont you see my ship. dont you see how canon 4halo is !!! in 8 acts#dont you want to examine them and their parallels and the way they are both so strange about relationships but they're finding a way to car#in a way that works for them#pspspsps#like me talking about qbbh vacation arc got the fandom acknowledging his sillies and directly got me a friend to talk about him to (hi kia!#maybe it will work here also#come to the dark side we have complex relationship dynamics that are frequently misunderstood and mislabelled#YOU can help change the world
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smhalltheurlsaretaken · 1 year ago
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not me typing a whole rant about some catholics being insufferably smug about their "better looking churches" while ignoring the history behind the barebone austerity of protestant churches and then deleting it all because my seething anger isn't christ-like either
*gnaws on wood* God help me love your children even when they are absolute prigs
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saintsukuna · 10 months ago
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Sukuna referring to Jin as his “other half” and using the specific wording of “i was almost born as twins” and Sukuna’s technique being engraved on Yuuji and them looking more and more similar…. the lines between them all blurring… Yuuji accepting that he is Kenjaku’s son (integrating the death painting wombs) and Sukuna’s nephew (awakening malevolent shrine)… killing myself is anyone else so unwell about this damn family
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nexus-nebulae · 3 months ago
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just realised that the first media we consumed that made us REALLY sympathetic for the monster was that fucking point and click Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst game. bc that entire game i was legitimately fucking TERRIFIED of the ghost lady in that game but the second i found out her husband was abusive i doubled down on trying to help her escape. and the ending of that game Did make me cry out of fear but hey at least i did in fact help her escape
#i think that was the first game we ever like. completed. as well#NO it was hidden expedition amazon bc that one was less scary so it was easier to beat LMAO#we had both of those games on a single disc as a kid#one o those like. buy 2 for cheap game discs at like. best buy. i love those cheap bargain bin point and click games#hidden object games were my entire thing from the age of like. 8 to 12#we also had like. three ispy game discs one of which had FOUR separate worlds to go to#which upon my recent googling was like. multiple ispy games packaged into one which i cannot find any record of??#i know for a fact it had a space section the fantasy one and the school days one#and then we had treasure hunt and spooky mansion as separate discs#I FUCKING MISS SPOOKY MANSION i have a download of it but i CAN'T PLAY IT bc it was made for computers older than windows 7#it fucks up the aspect ratio of the screen and the mouse like. shows the cursor being about an inch to the left of where it Actually Is#its weird#anyway complete non sequitur here but I GOT THE STUPID ASS MULTIPLAYER ITEMS IN TERRARIA#i forgot i could just. make a multiplayer world. and not invite anyone to it. and get the items that way#so this can still be a purely singleplayer challenge i just have to click on a different menu to get these items#NOW I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PAINTING HUNT. HOORAY 😳#they need to make a version of that emoji without the blush. i am not flushed i am fucking STARING AT U LIKE A MADMAN#the fucking. uluru painting. i chewed through 7 ENTIRE LARGE DESERTS FOR THAT FUCKING THING#7 LARGE WORLDS. DCU. DESTROYED ALL TRACE OF SAND. ONLY GOT ULURU IN AN OLD ABANDONED WORLD INSTEAD 😔#and now. now i have to search for fucking WALDO?????? WALDO????? this actually looped back around to the initial topic of the post huh#any hidden object BOOKS i would fucking eat up as well the Can You See What I See books??? i liked those better than ispy actually#walter wick is the one man responsible for my LIFELONGGGGGGG obsession with hidden object games#i LEARNED TO READ with ispy books initially and i fucking LOVED it it was so fun making learning a game#i learned to read like. wayyyyy faster than other kids apparently?#i dont remember what age but i was definitely early bc i knew enough that when i entered preschool i was like. past their starting level#i dont remember the details i just know like. i learned to read really early. and i was a late talker#but neither of my parents think i was. bc both of them were delayed in speaking too so they think its normal--#but like. my mom was Deaf she absolutely was a late talker#and my dad. well. lets just say my mother has less of the tism tendencies to gift to me#and also both were part of very very large chaotic families so like. mild neglect was part of the package yknow
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murobrown · 9 months ago
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#hello i just found out my dad might be getting another divorce and he's not telling me :))))#he might be already separated from his wife living back in my hometown with who knows who :))))))))#so he left a woman who he has cheated with on my mom and basically destroyed whole family :))))))))))))))#i don't have any reliable sources for this ans I can't ask him but it is eating me inside#and I had my suspicions since Christmas but I just thought they are having some tough period#so whenever I called him I tried to check of everything is okay and everything seemed okay#and I just hope they're still maybe just going through something but they will end up back together again#and i won't know because we don't talk about our problems in my family you need to be always happy#and god forbid you bother someone with your problems#i am sorry of this is too personal but it's making me freak out a little bit#i just can't stop thinking about it#and is it bad that I actually feel sad that I won't ever see his cats again if his wife keeps them?#ugh how the fuck can you divorce twice in your life?????#and does this mean that I also have some fucked up genes in me????#i was kinda hoping he would come to visit me for my birthday because I don't want to be alone but I doubt it will happen now#i just miss him and i want that he's hapy#okay that's enough i just needed to get this out of me#have a wonderful day everyone I'm going to take a shower because I ran 5km today so at least that's something positive
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kaerinio · 1 year ago
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also, following dany's return to meereen, she's done being tamed. she is done being tamed by the forces around her, done being tamed by the expectations around her, done being tamed by herself. quaithe told her that the dragons know who she is, but questions if she knows. daario expresses the same sentiment. following the second rebirth, she finally understands. it is time for her to drive herself and trust her own intuition more, of course while taking counsel ( that will NEVER change ), but she will not allow herself to become a bleating lamb ready for the slaughter again ; she will be as the targaryens are destined to be . . . a dragon. not just the mother of dragons, but the dragon who stops at nothing to protect her people. the dragon who leads her children. and like her dragons, she will answer to neither gods nor men.
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undyinglantern · 1 year ago
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you cant just make a fictional species cry out in agony over its dead children and expect me not to sympathize with it
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dfnkt · 2 years ago
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My 13th reason is when someone is rping something as Dirk, looking for a Dave and I love the premise but absolutely hate it for Dirk and just want to switch them. No, I absolutely do not want to play an adult Dave taking care of a small Dirk. I do however very much want to do your exact modifier but as an older Dirk for a Dave.
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thedigitalbard · 3 months ago
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I created this art as a gift for my friend Diya. This is his son, Magdy and his cat whose story I shared here.
Right now, Diya is separated from his family in Gaza and has been for over a year. His family is facing the second winter since they were displaced from their home. The winters in Gaza are harsh. People are taking shelter in flimsy tents, that don't protect them from the wind and rain. The rain brings with it flooding that destroys everything. Diseases are spreading with no access to proper sanitation and medical care. When they went to receive polio vaccinations, they witnessed an IOF attack on the taxi in front of them.
The last donation was 6 hours ago, and there have only been 4 donations in the 24 hours. We need to help Diya reach his short-term goal of 30% so he can help his family purchase winter supplies that they need to survive. It is already November. There is literally no time to waste. His family has suffered through so much already. Please stand by them and do everything you can to support them. Share this post and donate. With your help we can reach the goal!
This campaign is vetted by association here. It is also #55 on the Gaza Vetters List by @/gazavetters.
$6,732 / $9,000 (short term goal)
Tagging for reach (please dm me to be removed)
@girlinafairytale @heliopixels @appsa @buttercuparry @turian
@neptunerings @sylvianritual @a-shade-of-blue @anneemay @2spirit-0spoons
@comrademango @hussyknee @jinnazah @khanger @lesbianmaxevans
@paper-mario-wiki @the-bastard-king @zigcarnivorous @an-elegant-void @acepumpkinpatrick
@heydreamchild @fading-event-608 @determinate-negation @jezior0 @autisticmudkip
@imjustheretotrytohelp @apocalyptic-dancehall @monstermashpotato @socalgal @mangocheesecakes
@commissions4aid-international @postanagramgenerator @omegaversereloaded @kyra45-helping-others @toiletpotato
@rhubarbspring @ankle-beez @tortiefrancis @halorvic
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rhq2744 · 7 months ago
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Sorry for the ugliness of the view, or should I be the one sorry or the occupation? Of course, dear reader, you could not bear the ugliness of the scene, but what should I and my family say? We have been here since the third of December,
[ vertified by @nabulsi and @el-shab-hussein , num.221 on fundraising list ! ]
See the evidence below !
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Note, the iron thing in the picture in the back is the primitive oven in which we bake our daily bread using firewood and plastic. CAN YOU IMAGINE ????!!!!!!! Is your food covered in sewage, urine and feces? Sorry for the words but this is crazy, I'm going to lose my mind!
We have been here since the third of December,in addition to the filth and waste, it explodes daily due to the presence of 30,000 thousand displaced people. It explodes and the place here is flooded with filth, sewage and dirt. It is definitely a hotbed of diseases. Why do I and my family have to live, sleep, eat and cook here?????? Do you see this little threshold? A few centimeters that separate us and it's not enough, a lot of insects and worms,If you go out with your shoes, they will get dirty and dirt will enter inside. We are inevitably stuck in dirt. Is there a decent person who would be satisfied with a life like this? I am tired. We are all exhausted by the disease. Everyone is here with yellow eyes and epidemic hepatitis. Everyone is like a zombie because of this tragic and inhuman situation in which we live. My family does not leave the bed due to the severity of illness and fatigue. [is there a bed? Of course NO, we sleep on the floor, specifically on dirt, but unfortunately we have begun... We get used to the tent like a house and we use its terminology. This habit and habituation is killing me. I cannot accept and do not want anyone to accept the humiliation we are experiencing Or try to beautify it in any way.]
If you would like to help even a little for my family, please do not hesitate for a moment. It is an unbearable situation. Our lives have been destroyed. Or you can help spread the link to our family to someone who might be able to help. Thank you for reading. Have a good day. At least someone should be happy today.
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https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/u/0/d/1yYkNp5U3ANwILl2MknJi9G7ArY4uVTEEQ1CVfzR8Ioo/htmlview
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mavigator · 3 months ago
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if you have time to scroll, you have time to read.
however, i'll start with a shorter version. family currently living in a tent in al mawasi:
two adults
three young adults
16 year old
14 year old
4 year old
infant
and
19 year old in egypt, separated from the family, and at risk of getting expelled from college due to tuition fees
no winter clothes. insufficient food. diapers needed for the baby. donate here. it takes thirty seconds. anything helps.
more information for those willing to spare more time:
a month after my new friend lobana (@lobana2001) got her bachelor's in english translation, israel's bloodthirsty attacks on gaza began. she also recently became an aunt to baby aziz. it should be a time of celebration for her, but, instead, she lives in a tent with the rest of her family and is forced to worry about whether her newborn nephew will stay warm enough as winter settles in.
her sister (nahariya) and her husband biggest problem should be baby aziz teething, not if they can afford to feed both themselves and the baby--if they can afford anything at all. mohammed should be continuing his studies in computer science, but his university was destroyed.
mamdouh should be able to devote his complete attention to his studies in medicine in egypt, but, with his family trapped in gaza, how can he?
luqman (16) and asim (14) should be learning who they are, making new friends and good memories, and finding their place in the world. bayna (4) and aziz (infant) shouldn't have to know fear at all!
and that's not to mention the parents, naseem and reem, who are under unimaginable levels of stress trying to help their children through this literal nightmare. please donate anything you can.
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also: you can reach lobana on whatsapp! that's where i've been talking to her. you can message her on tumblr if you want her number. thank you so much if you read all of the way through. @batmanego @catgirl-lenin @lonniemachin
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tahani-family · 3 months ago
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GAZA 😭😭🇵🇸🔗⬇️
support us we lost our home and our workes😔💔
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My children are sick from the cold and the spread of diseases, and they are all in pain. I have been displaced with my children many times, and each time we had to bleed her precious evacuation money to buy transportation and transportation.
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These conditions are absolutely catastrophic. It's the end of the world. No child, no mother, no person should have to go through this.
You can help by donating and sharing so we don't have to struggle anymore. All we are hoping for is to get enough money to evacuate to Cairo so we don't have to rely on the black market for simple things like food anymore.
You can help. 
Please take time out of your day to donate to my family, our campaign is moving very slowly and we need your help.
Please help my family get out of this hell. We, like all human beings, deserve safety, comfort, and warmth, and now you have a way to help provide these things for us.
https://gofund.me/5770752d.
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Dear, please don't let me down, we deserve life and we deserve your generosity and kindness towards us, you are our lifeline and with your generosity you give us life even a little, but you relieve us of injustice and the cursed war, you are the hope and life once again, be side by side hand in hand, we will make a big difference with faith, strength, will and determination, we will reach the goal, we are very close, I hope you participate and contribute if you can. 💜🇵🇸🍉🍉💐💐.
I am a mother of three beautiful little girls, Sana and Hanan. Hla has been sick recently and Hla needs to be vaccinated very soon, but I can tell you that the situation has been very difficult in Gaza and the campaign has been slow lately.
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Thank you to everyone who donated and participated from the bottom of my heart, but my campaign needs more support and interaction. I think that my campaign did not receive the required interaction and attention. It is not my fault that I am Palestinian so that I do not receive support. I think that other campaigns and non-Arab campaigns take momentum from interaction and support. It is not my fault that a Palestinian is marginalized for the sake of my children, humanity, and children's rights. Help m🙏🏻🙏🏻💔💔.
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My name is Tahani, I am 30 years old from Gaza and I have three very young children, Sana, Hanan and my youngest, Hala, who grew up during the war. Our house was destroyed, I was displaced several times and I am currently separated from the rest of my family - my husband, brothers, sisters and parents. I cannot tell you how stressed I am.
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@xxx-sparkydemon-xxx @lampthehealthminister @baandar @doug-dimmadumb @astronotesstuff @prokyon @the-bitch-isback @aceofrage @intheindustrynow-blog @horrorcore2002 @thescavenger29 @yvening @springcres @meowmaids @akaratna @ezras-turtleneck-blog @fagarlic @grandpom @omens-augury @pianta @kingtransgender @friendlizard @intricatecakes @marbirds @error-core-animations @block-swing-perry @br-eddrolls @kraigerzz-blog @daily-click-reminders @commissions4aid-international @anneemay @tumkaafiho @balaclava-trismegistus @ripley-stark @mangocheesecakes @bees-fantasies @girl4pay @turtletoria @rikebe @esperantoauthor @starless-gaze @frehsca
I am doing my best to take care of my children by myself, despite facing hunger, thirst, disease and the threat of death. The other day, there was heavy shelling near me and another family close to us was killed. Life in Gaza is now hell and I tell you that we are living as if we are waiting for our turn to die.
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I am Tahani from Gaza, I am 30 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to maintain my family. I am married and a mother of three children: Sana, who is seven years old, Hanan, who is five years old, and a girl named hla. She grew up during the war and in very harsh conditions that no human being can bear. I moved from the hospital directly to the tent. I cannot describe the extent of the suffering and difficulty of living in the tent.
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But I need help. The situation in Gaza is very bad right now, with the IDF preventing aid from entering and the food, water and medicine that is available are very expensive. Please share and donate to help me and my children survive and eventually leave Gaza.
Thank you all. I hope you will support me to save my life and the lives of my children🇵🇸🍉🍉.
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‼️Please don’t skip taking a look 🍉🇵🇸.
We are trying to survive in miserable conditions in tents in Mawasi Deir al-Balah, south of Gaza. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in Gaza. No food, no medicine, no clean drinking water, oppression, helplessness, psychological pressure, doubts and daily trauma due to the loss of loved ones. In Gaza, it is not only hunger, disease and fear; it means actual death.
We have been forced to move more than 7 times, and my house has been completely destroyed, and I cannot provide enough milk, diapers, medicines, and vitamins for my children.💔🍉🇵🇸😭
Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and I strongly and humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my children, by getting us out of Gaza. The situation in Gaza has become unbearable due to slow death as a result of hunger, thirst, displacement, the spread of diseases and continuous bombing.🍉🇵🇸💔
The past months have been full of hell and horror. This war has gone on for too long, and our mental health and lives are constantly at risk. We have reached a point where there is no hope anymore in Gaza, as if we are waiting for death. Even if a ceasefire is reached, the devastation in Gaza in all its forms cannot be quickly repaired
Please help me and my children to get us out of genocide🍉🇵🇸💔.
Your help will contribute greatly to alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends.💔💔
I will be forever grateful for your kind assistance in this difficult time🇵🇸🇵🇸
Thank you for your kindness and generosity❤️.
Donation link 🇵🇸👇
https://gofund.me/5770752d
1. Verified using Butterflyeffect Project font (1153)
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #275 )✅️
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mimosita · 1 year ago
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[i've never doubted that palestine will live.
the US dropped more than 7.5 million tons of bombs on vietnam, laos and cambodia from 1965-75. they destroyed our land, used agent orange, slaughtered villages, separated families, the list goes on.
but we're. still. here.
indigenous people are still here. black people are still here. colonized people are resilient. even if you kill our people, ban our languages, destroy our homes, heritage sites and artifacts, we will always find a way to keep our cultures alive and that has always been true
so much of the west and isntreal's tactics and actions are hauntingly familiar to me as a viet person. its a colonizer's rinse and repeat. and so that's how i know palestine will be free. we've seen this film before]
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babycharmander · 7 months ago
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
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[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
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