#despite everything going on in my life lol

[seungfl0wer]

*𝑯𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒚𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏*

Pairing: Chan x Reader (Fem)

Genre: Fluff/Smut (Short Oneshot)

Warnings: Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Breeding, mentions of getting pregnant, Oral (Both), mostly just a fluffy story with fluffy sex lol. Sorry for any mistakes or missed tags

Find The Request(s) Here

-🖤

You loved going on tour with your boyfriend getting to spend time with him and seeing all the different places. Getting to see him perform and everything it was just so exciting. Yesterday you landed in Australia which Chan was ecstatic to show you around. He brought you to see his parents which you’d already met a few times. His dad made some dinner while everyone talked and had a good time.

“Babe wanna go see my favorite spot?” He asked with a smile.

“Of course” you said smiling back.

As everyone finished dinner Chan asked if you were ready. He drove you to a beautiful spot, it was lit by the moon light. The ocean crashing against the shore, the sky just as stunning. Chan interlocked your fingers as you sat on a small bench just staring out into the vastness of the ocean. He kissed you lovingly, you couldnt help but notice him staring at you. He had a habit of this, just taking in your beauty. He studied your face memorizing every little inch like he would forget it if he looked away.

“I don’t know what’s more beautiful, you or the ocean” he said with a fond smile.

“I can’t compete with the beauty of your first love” you say with a teasing sigh.

He couldn’t help but chuckle kissing your cheek “you both are my loves” he teased.

You both sat there contently in silence enjoying the sounds of the waves and small birds still chirping. “Can I ask you something?” He said softly.

“Of course silly” you said smiling.

“You love me right?” He said.

You were taken back a small bit but chuckled “yeah most days” you teased.

He let out breath before kissing you lovingly. His hands came up to cup your cheek, he looked into your eyes. You could see how much he loved you. How his eyes almost formed hearts as he stared into yours.

“I have another question for you then” he said voice stuttering a bit.

You tilted your head looking at him “and what’s that?”

“Well first you gotta close your eyes.” He said with a nervous smile.

He could feel his heart racing, his hands were getting clammy. He knew you wouldn’t say no however he still was a bit nervous. He wanted everything to be perfect, he wanted it to be special. He got up getting down on his knee In front of you. He pulled the ring out, Funny enough it was a ring you picked out before. You had joked about how if he was ever gonna propose this was the ring. He saved it. That was almost 2 years ago and he still remembered.

“O-ok open” he said. As he watched your eyes open going wide as you realized what was happening.

“My beautiful, my love. Will you- will you make me the happiest man alive by being my wife? I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Growing old together.” He said his words coming out fast.

“Chan” you started to sob happy tears of course. You flung yourself on him wrapping your arms around him. “Yes, yes a million times yes. I wanna be with you till we are old and grey yelling at kids to get off our lawn” you giggled through your tears.

He wrapped his arms around you pulling you into him trying not to cry himself. A few small tears falling despite his best efforts. When he pulled away he cupped your face whipping the tears from your cheek. “Y/n I love you with every fiber of my being.” He said kissing you passionately. “May I put the ring on?” He asked pulling away.

“Oh yeah!” You said making you both chuckle.

He slipped the ring on kissing you once more.

“Christopher! No fucking way!” You almost screamed. “You remembered the ring?” You said not being able to believe your eyes.

“Of course I remembered silly” he said.

He sat back down beside you, wrapping his arm around your side. He pulled you into him, into a warm cuddle. You both sat there for a few hours just talking and enjoying each other’s presence.

When you got back home his mom was smiling ear to ear. “I assume it went well” she said before pulling you into a tight hug. “I’m so happy he has you” she said. Here came to tears again.

All the boys who had been outside came in smiling at you. They all looked so happy. “Wait y/n you said yes? Really? To this old man?” Seungmin teased.

“Yep, my old man” you said making him roll his eyes.

The next morning the boys were off to the concert, it went flawless as always. Chan had a special glow to him though. He just couldn’t stop smiling. Before ending the show for the night Chan stood there that smile still plastered to his face “Stay!” He yelled out. “I proposed to y/n!” He yelled louder. The whole crowed erupted. Quickly it became trending on twitter and everywhere else. Surprisingly everyone was supportive, everyone was excited to see your wedding. They were all happy to just see bangchan so happy.

——

The wedding planning started right away. You both brain stormed wanting to make sure it was both of you combining ideas. Although things had gotten stressful at points you had so many people that helped and supported you.

When the day had come it went so perfectly. Only small hiccups like almost falling over when you got into the dress. Which honestly made you and everyone else just laugh. Another hiccup that was also funny was Felix coming into your room to help with something and almost seeing you in your tits. He freaked out so much he ran into the wall. Not once. But 3 times before leaving the room. He couldn’t help but laugh, like you were hysterically laughing.

When the time came to walk down the aisle though as soon as you both saw each other neither of you could stop the tears. You both were crying, his mom was crying, a few of the boys and brides maids were crying. It was just a stream of tears. And it only got worse when you exchanged vows. Chans being so beautiful written of course.

Driving off after to head to the hall after for the party you were excited. Chan and you having a small make out session in the car. When you got there Chan had you sit down because he had something planned. You sat there as you watched all the boys come out and get into position. This mother fucker, wrote a whole song for you, got them to choreograph a small dance and had planned this out for months. The song was heartwarming and the small dance was just perfect. Just as it ended all the boys rushed you giving you a big group hug.

Chan and you both danced swaying back and forth as he kept repeating how beautiful you were. “Y/n you really look stunning, god I can’t believe we’re married. I can’t believe you said yes” he said making you laugh.

“Babe, I said yes how long ago” you teased.

“I know but I just- I’m just so fucking happy” he said kissing you lovingly.

You could hear the fake gags coming from a member or two making you laugh. “I’m really married to a man with 7 children aren’t I” you said.

He was laughing now “yeah sorry about that” he said.

The night went by watching as the boys, your family and friends all just having fun. You couldn’t help but laugh while you watched the boys twerking. Minho came up beside you chuckling as he watched them “you really married into this” he said.

“Yep I sure did” you said.

“You can still back out” he joked.

“I’ve already been stuck with you guys for how many years. What’s the rest of my life?” You said smiling fondly.

“True, I guess the boys do need a mother” he joked.

“Yeah gonna ground them all for twerking so badly” you both chuckled.

It was time to throw the bouquet, when you did Hannah, Chans sister was the one who caught it. The person who caught the garter was Hyunjin. If you know anything about weddings the person who catches the garter is supposed to put it on the leg of the person who caught the flowers. However Chan looked like he’d kill him if he did.

Hyunjin walked over placing it on Hannah arm like a bracelet. “Don’t wanna die tonight” he said loudly as he did Making everyone laugh.

As the night wounded down and everyone left Chan and you headed back to the house. You were excited for morning though, Chan had booked a honeymoon and wouldn’t tell you where it was. You were leaving in the morning bags already packed. Chan cuddled up to you all night both super tired from everything.

——

When you landed you were greeted by beautiful scenery, a vast blue ocean the looked like it never ended. The place he had booked had the perfect view, there was a huge jacuzzi tub and roses all over the bed. It was stunning it smelled like citrus and candy. As you plopped your bags down and also plopped yourself down on the bed. Stretching out after being cooped up in the plane for so long. The bed was comfortable, honestly felt like a cloud.

Chan smiled looking at you before climbing on top of you. He nuzzled his face into your neck making you giggle. Hearing you giggle he started tickling you, you busted out laughing squirming under him. You could feel him smiling against your skin. “My beautiful wife” he said as he pulled away. He looked down at you with love in his eyes, leaning down to kiss you passionately.

His hand cupped your face as he depended the kiss, tongue poking at your lips. You happily parted them as your tongues battled for dominance. His other hand roamed downwards, playing with your breast. He played with your nipples rolling them in his fingers pinching them ever so slightly. A soft moan was swallowed by him before you knew it he had your shirt off. Sucking gently at your skin leaving pretty purply red marks all over it.

He kissed down your body before swiftly pulling the rest of your clothes off. You gasped at the fast motion only to be met with his lips against your thigh. He kissed his way down them, kissing around your core before diving head first. His soft plump lips attached to your nub, nibbling it ever so perfectly. He licked a long stip up and down your folds before pushing his tongue into you. His hands gripped at your thighs holding them apart as his tongue fucked you. His pretty nose brushing against your nub every so often.

You were squirming, moaning loudly hands interlocking into his hair. You gripped it tightly making him groan into you. He loved when you pulled his hair especially while eating you out. “Is my pretty wife gonna cum?” He moaned out. Before you could even respond though he was pushing his fingers into you. Pumping them fast as he curled them. His lips started to suck harshly at you clit all the while keeping eye contact with you.

“Ch-Chan fuck- please- don’t stop!” You moaned.

“Wouldn’t dream of it” he said with a smirk.

His fingers were moving perfectly and his tongue working overtime. What drove you over the edge was a slight bite he left to your clit. Your body ached off the bed orgasm crashing over you. Chan road out your high pulling away with a long string of salvia. His lips were wet from salvia and your juice.

He fumbled to get his pants off, too pussy drunk to think straight. “Let me help you” you said breathily undoing his belt before pulling them down. His cock springing out, he was so unbelievably hard it almost looked painful. You couldn’t help but wrap your lips around it taking him slowly into your mouth. You were quite literally drooling over him. You took him back your throat the whole way as you started to bob your head. His head thrown back as you did he moved your hair from your face. Looking down at you he couldn’t help but moan the sight making him wanna cum.

“F-fuck baby- s’good” he said.

He let you go at your own pace watching you take him all in. “That’s it baby- fuck just like that. M’good girl. My pretty wifey” he mumbles out. As you swirled your tongue around the tip he almost gasped. “Shit- wait” he said pulling out from your mouth. You looked up at him a little confused “sorry love- i wanna cum in that pretty little cunt of yours” he said with a groan.

“Come here” he said pulling you up lips crashing into yours, he moved you back laying you down on the bed. He aligned himself to your core before pushing into you fully. Both of you letting out a heavenly moan at the feeling. Chan gripped your hips as he moved in and out of you. His cock filled you so perfectly his head hitting the your cervix. He pulled away from the kiss moving to look down at you. “My beautiful wife, fuck taking me so good” he groaned.

You felt his cock already twitching inside you, he wasn’t gonna last long at this rate but neither were you. “S’good- always feel so good-“ you moaned out.

Chan watched as his cock reappeared and disappeared inside of you. Your walls were clenching around him, sucking him into you. “Made for me, for me only my pretty wife. Gonna- fuck- gonna cum so deep in you you’ll get pregnant” he mumbled out. “Gonna fuck a baby into yeah? Fuck gonna be my pretty pregnant wife- shit” his movements were turning sloppy. Hands slinking up to yours. He interlocked your fingers together as he fucked into you. “Y/n I love you fuck I love you so much” he moaned.

You gripped his hands tightly feeling your high about to wash over you. Chans head rested in the crook of your neck moaning into your ear as he sucked/bit at your neck. “Chan! I love you to! My- my handsome husband!” You almost screamed your orgasm crashing over you. As he heard those words fall from your lips you calling him your husband his mind just short circuited. His body stuttered on top of you as he pushed one last time cumming deep inside of you.

He let go of your hands wrapping his arms around you holding you tightly to him as your highs washed over you both. Panting Chan pulled away to look at you “y/n I love you, I love you I love you I love you” he repeated.

“I love you to my handsome husband” you said smiling. He kissed you lovingly before slowly pulling away.

“Wanna get in the big tub together?” He asked smiling.

“Is that even a question” you teased.

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

Taglist: @satosugu4l @do-you-remember-summer-127 @xines16 @minh0scat @troublemaker02 @tr-mha-fan @lunearta @velvetmoonlght @minghaosimp

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | six.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 10.1k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, sorry if i missed anything i had to quickly edit in order to get this out lol, san x oc finally talk a little more abt each other - family - friends, small affectionate gestures and kisses, yes we have finally made it my friends… the sleepover where we discuss neuroscience papers!!!! lmao jk 😭 was not lying abt the true crime aspect tho (i fear i know nothing else), san also opens up a bit more about iseul, making out, neck kisses, breast play, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, some clit play i guess!!, aftercare, cuddles

You decide to go to dinner with San, but the decision comes incredibly last minute. You've paced around your studio, sat on your bed for hours, going back and forth between a simple yes or no. Until, you finally realized you truly didn't wanna miss out. You felt like you'd regret it if you didn't just go to see what it'd be like.

Harmless.

Eunchae and Jurin are gone for the weekend for other family commitments, but you still find yourself having to make up some sort of scenario for the boys in case they come barging in while you're getting ready. You tell them that you're spending the afternoon with your mom and that you'll be back later tonight in case they wanna come over and hang out. Boys being boys— they don't pry much and leave it at that.

You let out a breath just after you end the call with Jiung and set your phone aside, dabbing a bit more blush onto the apples of your cheeks. 

San told you to meet him at a restaurant that's very Nobu-esque, and you damn near dropped your phone when you pulled up the directions and saw pictures of the fancy interior. Even if you protested, he wouldn't let up— promising you that he'd take care of everything and that he just wanted you to have a good time with him. He asked once more if you were sure about driving, and you insist; just for the one time, to play things safe, to relieve yourself of the pressure of having to be with San in a car in case dinner doesn't pan out well [for whatever reason].

You are equally excited, nervous and terrified. Might feel a little queasy from the combo.

You run the lip gloss across your lips before pressing them together, spreading it across the surface. You check the time and pack your things into your purse, giving yourself a little bit of wiggle room for the 30-minute drive east to meet San. You check yourself in the mirror and dust yourself off, smoothing down the simple, black cami-strap dress you have on. Good thing you checked the restaurant's dress code on their website last night, or else, you might have walked into the place in something a little more casual.

Not classy. Elegant. Black and white attire only.

You run off to your car without being spotted by anybody you know. You did run into a few classmates and other familiar faces, but ones that won't even bat an eye as to why you're running across the lot in heels and a black dress. You get into your car and warm it up before turning up the heat, pulling up one of your playlists and sending San a text to let him know you're leaving campus. The drive isn't so bad when your playlist is hyping you up, along with the clear highways. You've gotta cross a bridge and pay the toll on your way back, but you don't mind; you feel a sense of relief wash over you being that you've gotten yourself this far from campus.

You knew people from campus weren't fond of coming to the east side. It tailored way too much to the wealthy, hence, San's choice for tonight's dinner.

The side streets are a little too busy in the downtown area, but you finally catch sight of the restaurant on the corner of an intersection; nestled underneath a modern, upscale 5-star hotel. When you pull into the lot, San is chatting it up with the valet. He laughs and you catch that smile of his, his dimples. He's in a black button up, and black slacks. The first two buttons of his shirt are undone, the silver chain hanging around his neck— sitting prettily across his collarbones. He points at your car and signals your arrival to the valet, the staff member immediately meeting you at the driver's side when you park in front of the booth.

"Your lady has arrived." The valet says, taking your hand in his before passing you along to San and getting into your car to park it in the lot.

"Hey beautiful." San takes your hand in his and smiles down at you adoringly. "How was the drive?"

"Good." You're barely able to maintain contact because of how shy and nervous you've become being around him. He can tell, though. He chuckles and gives your hand a gentle squeeze before reassuring you with a:

"Promise I'll take care of you tonight, okay? Don't get shy on me."

"Who said I was?"

"You can barely look me in the eye, Y/N." You look up at him and try to hold eye contact, but you shrink; subtly biting onto your lip and hiding behind him when the host greets him like he's known him forever. He walks through the restaurant, heading towards the private back patio. This section is closed off and by reservation only— your guess is that San bought out the patio for your enjoyment, to ease your nerves. And you're proven right when the host slides the back door open, and there's only one table draped in white linen in the middle of the garden. There's a candle in the middle of the table and a singular red rose on your plate, San deciding to forego the additional decorations and rose petals because he didn't wanna do too much for a first dinner. He just didn't wanna overwhelm you knowing you might already be, but he hopes you know he'd take care of you in all ways if you'd let him— the roses and candles being a glimpse into that.

"The waiter will be with you both shortly." The host does a curt bow before leaving you and San in the patio.

"Choi San." You look at and he cocks a brow, trying to prevent himself from smirking too big.

"Mhm?" He looks at you.

"Why did you buy out the whole patio?!"

"To keep you comfortable." He smiles, eyes roaming your figure and the way your dress hugs you so, so beautifully.

"San." You frown a bit. "You didn't have to spend all that just for me."

"Um, yeah. I did, sweetheart." He laughs. "I wanted to. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry tonight." You slowly sit in the high chair in front of him, taking the singular rose to your nose before smiling shyly at him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." His hands are clasped together, elbows resting on the table— his piercing eyes bore into you. "How was your day?"

"It was good. I didn't do much besides get ready for the evening. Had to tell the boys I was running off for the evening like Eunchae and Jurin." San nods and sips his water.

"Sorry love."

"For what?"

"For having you lie to your friends."

"They don't care much." You wave it off with a giggle. "How was your day?"

"Well, I was gonna hang out at Jongho's but someone told me they wanted to go to dinner last minute."

"Wonder who that could be?" You tease and he laughs a bit.

"Yeah, right? She's lucky she's cute." He teases back and the heat rises to your cheeks.

"Didn't mean to impose on your plans with the other Professor Choi."

"Never. I see him all the time, he won't mind if I leave him behind for an evening." You laugh.

"Touché." At this point, the waiter comes and sets down some complimentary edamame before taking orders. You decline any alcohol solely because of your drive home, and San follows suit. He proceeds to order the food for tonight after remembering you didn't have any specific allergies, giving him free range to order things he enjoys, but also knows you'd love. 

Wagyu.

Chef's choice omakase.

Other choices of nigiri, like toro. 

Uni tempura.

Squid pasta with garlic sauce.

Chilean seabass with dry miso.

It all comes out of San's mouth like the price tag is nonexistent, and you're internally screaming. How could he be so damn charming and suave? Let alone, this is how he spoils you for the first dinner?

"That's all." San smiles toothlessly before handing over the menus to the waiter. He licks his lips and shifts in his position as if he didn't just order a line of the most expensive items on the menu.

"San, this is gonna be so expensive. I can't accept this. Please let me at least pay for half."

"Uh, no. What did I tell you, Y/N? I'd take care of you tonight. I meant it. Just enjoy yourself for me." You sigh and tilt your head before playfully rolling your eyes.

"I can't with you."

"Yes, you can." He chuckles. "So, tell me."

"Hm?" You hum.

"About you."

"What about me?"

"I wanna know everything and anything about you." He gives you that look. "I wanna know what Miss Y/N is about outside of her CV." You snort at the comment, the reality of you being San's rotation student almost hitting you dead in the face until you decide to brush it off completely.

"Well, I'm the only child?" You say in a questioning tone, unsure of where to start. But, the conversation eventually flows on its own. You tell San about your mom being a single mom and how it's always been you two from the very beginning. You don't know much about your dad, but you don't mind talking about it if asked. It's not necessarily a sensitive or heavy topic for you; it's just unfortunate that you don't have anything to add simply because you don't know him. You have family nearby, but your family is small. You don't have cousins you're close to, your relatives are mostly middle-aged, older.  Your grandparents were around up until you were in high school, then they both died from illnesses that got to the best of them.

Then, that was that.

You and your mom— mostly you, doing things for your own and on your own while your mom continued to work tirelessly at the hospital to keep food on the table. Rent. Necessities. You worked a few jobs throughout school to help as much as possible, but your mom always told you to put your studies first and to never force yourself if your body was too tired, too overwhelmed. It felt hard for awhile because your mom was barely around. When she was, she was tired. You felt distant, almost like you couldn't be close to your mom regardless of how hard you tried. You didn't think you'd be able to build a better relationship with her until you moved away for college. When you finally had your own space and the distance in between, your relationship blossomed and she became your bestfriend. Then, you tell San how you feel the utmost pressure to make her proud because you're the only child, the only person she can rely on in the future. The only person who can also truly disappoint her, which you don't want. 

Though, you feel like you've already started wandering down that path.

You're slightly interrupted when the waiter comes to bring in half of the order, starting with the nigiri and chef's choice, setting it down in the middle of the table. You both thank him before he says he'll be right back with the rest, San giving you the priority and freedom to choose whichever you want to eat. When you start to dig in, you continue to tell San about your friends and how Jiung's been your longest friend since high school. Otherwise, there haven't been too many people you could call your close friends. You knew people, you socialized, but you weren't one to toss the 'close/good friend' term around unless you felt a genuine, real connection with someone. You do feel like you could say that for Felix, Eunchae and Jurin even though it hasn't been long since you've known them; you've clicked with them easily and well. You're grateful for it. 

The conversation switches to San's point of view now, and he begins with his family dynamics. He relates to the pressure of making his parents happy as the only child, but he likes to think he's done well for himself so far. He talks about school and how brutal it was for him and his friends— San had a great mentor, but it was hours and hours of clocking in with no endpoint. Days and days of just hustling to finish and make sure he was producing amazing work. You reassure him by telling him you think it's all paid off, adding a little dash of seasoning with your 'or else we wouldn't be here, right?' playful teasing. He touches up on Jongho and their longtime friendship, followed by Mingi, Yeosang, Christopher, and now, Namjoon. He does talk about how him and Yunho used to be bestfriends, inseparable even, but he doesn't go into the details of what went down between him and Iseul. 

You won't press him. You'll let him come to you when he's ready to open up about it. Even though San acts like he's fine and he's moved on [he has], you can only imagine how it feels to replay the entire situation in your head, with the two people you trusted and adored more than anything.

"So, yeah. Namjoon and I got close because he was really there for me throughout a lot of the stuff that's happened. Even just down to minuscule things for the lab, my classes— anything. He's always been there for us no matter how busy he is."

"That's good. I can tell Namjoon really cares about you guys and the students."

"He's a good guy. His wife is lucky." You laugh.

"Do you see your parents often?" You watch as San puts another helping of the pasta and fish on your plate.

"From time to time, yeah, when they're around. My dad still travels a lot for business. Even though he stopped teaching, he's on a few boards as a consultant and agrees to talk for conferences or symposiums all the time. Mom's retired so she joins along. What about you?"

"I try to see her when I can. She's worked as a nurse at this hospital all her life, basically." He nods. "So, do you and the guys all live near each other?"

"Uh, sorta? Namjoon lives a bit further down south, but Mingi, Yeosang, Chris and Jongho live in close proximity."

"When you're not at work, do you just hang out with each other?" 

"For the most part. We're not always together, though. We like having our own space." He laughs. "Mingi used to pop up randomly and I had to tell him to stop doing it so often."

"Aw, he just wants your company. Don't be mean."

"I'm not mean! I just like to have my peace. Mingi is everything but peace." You laugh.

"Your home must be nice for him to be barging in like that."

"It is. I take pride in it now, not gonna lie." He sips his water, eyes gazing at you from over the rim of his glass. "You know, you're always welcome at my place." You look at him and slowly nod, trying to let the statement sink in. None of it feels weird to you; in fact, it makes you more curious to know about San's personal life. His home. What it'd be like to be in his space, alone.

"I'll keep that in mind. Might have to take you up on that one day." He smirks a bit.

"Yeah? That's kinda nice to hear. Lets me know I didn't entirely blow this." You giggle.

"Not at all." He sits back in his chair, content and satisfied from tonight's meal. He sees that you've finished everything on your plate, your attention now on the garden to your left while you sip on your water. He can't even deny how attracted he is to you, and how he has this indescribable pull to you. You're beautiful, and from your interactions, the way you speak and carry yourself, the passion behind your work, the way you care about your friends and mom— you've got a good, comforting soul that could balance his own. Almost like Yin and Yang, Tui and La. "What?" You ask him all innocently and he's struggling. He can't even help the huge smile that grows on his face when he looks at you.

"Nothing." He runs his finger across his bottom lip. "You're just.. so beautiful."

"Thank you, San." You respond softly and he feels his heart melt. The waiter comes back with the check, in which San is quick to hand over his card before you can even get your hands on it. You give him a look and he laughs, shaking his head after playfully reminding you that he'd take care of you. 

"Any plans for the rest of the weekend, or next week?"

"Not really. I'll probably hang out with the boys while the girls are gone. Next week, I've got a lot of behavior to run for Sunwoo, things to prep for the class I'm TAing for." He nods.

"Always working so hard."

"Uh, yeah. Especially for you." You poke fun at him and laugh. "What about you?"

"Mm, I have to actually start prepping for the symposium because it's coming up."

"Do you have your talk ready to go?"

"Nah." He shrugs. "But, I will."

"Do you still get nervous for talks?"

"Oh yeah, absolutely."

"You look so natural when you're doing it, though. I wouldn't have expected it."

"I do. I get pretty nervous. Not as bad as before, I'm able to shake it off better now." He lets out a breath, the both of you popping the little coffee candy that came with the check.

"How bad was it before?"

"Hm." He hums and thinks about it for a second. "Right before my first lecture for the big neuroscience association conference, I almost threw up. I was so nauseated, was dry-heaving for a good minute before I could get myself together."

"What? I would have never guessed." 

"Took a lot to get used to it. Still getting used to it." He smiles brightly. "But, I'm glad you think so. At least I'm doing something right." He looks at the date on his phone. "Speaking of the neuroscience association conference, the next one is coming up. Did you and your friends register to go?"

"Me, Jiung and a few others, yeah. Felix, Eunchae, Jurin and everyone else is just going to go on the trip cause they know that's where everyone will be at."

"Can't disagree, it'll be party central for the neuroscience community." You laugh.

"Can't wait to experience it." You look at him. "Will you be busy during the entire duration of the conference?"

"Mm, yeah. I've got a few other commitments and meetings. Lots of colleagues I haven't seen in awhile will be there, so I'll be catching up with them. There's also another smaller conference nearby that I'll be speaking at upstate before I head back down for the main one." 

"Busy you."

"Maybe. I'll always have time for you, though." He winks and you laugh it off. At this point, San stands and stretches before reaching out his hand for you to grab. "Ready to go?"

"I am." You take his hand and stand in front, letting San pull you flush against his body; hands resting on the small of your back.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" His hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb caressing the surface. Eyes examining your features closely. "Kinda wanna re-do the first kiss. Wanna do it right this time." You bite your lip and nod, eyes locked onto his lips as he leans forward. His lips meet you in a soft, tender kiss— one that isn't rushed, one that releases all your feelings into the universe, the galaxies. One that feels so natural, so meant to be.

One that gives you butterflies,

One that also unravels Pandora's box.

He holds the kiss for longer than expected, letting his lips mold into yours delicately. When he pulls away, he quickly reattaches his lips to yours; indulging in small sweet, repeated kisses before he kisses your forehead. He pulls back completely to look at you again, and he's admiring every inch of you from underneath the moon. You watch his jaw slightly tick, Adam's apple bob up and down; eyes full of desire. Need. Encompassing you, all of you.

"Hope you enjoyed dinner."

"I did, San. Thank you, again."

"No, thank you for joining me." He flashes you a cute, toothless smile before lacing his hand with yours. "Shall we? Do you want dessert or something?"

"I'm good, I'm stuffed. The food was so good." You pat your tummy as the both of you walk out of the restaurant and head towards valet, thanking the staff on your way out.

"Yeah, it was. Glad you're satisfied and happy." He presses a kiss to the surface of your hand just before greeting the valet. He runs to bring over your car first, parking it off to the side by the entrance to the lot to give you and San some time to say goodbye. San pops the driver's door open, allowing you to slide in while he hangs by the door. 

"Thank you again for tonight." You buckle your seat belt and look at him.

"Course. Drive safely, okay? Text me when you get home please."

"I will." 

"Good." He smirks before dipping down to give you another kiss on the lips. He shuts the door and gives you one last wave before walking towards his own car and letting you drive off. 

The butterflies that man gives you is insane. 

You can't even help but smile widely during the drive home, recounting each moment of the night and how you've quickly grown comfortable with San as a person. He's easy to talk to, easy to get along with.

Easy to be attracted to. Easy to be charmed by.

Easy to love.

You see it. You see why people love him and adore him, you see the bright aura he has. You see why people respect him.

You see yourself and him.

And the thought never leaves your mind once after that. You want San, just as he with you.

You head home alone that night, and the idea about being alone with San more— off campus, anywhere but there— becomes more and more enticing. It doesn't leave you for a few days, even while San is trying to give you the space to take things slowly. He's never pressured you into moving at a pace you didn't like, always gently touching you but never doing anything that would make you overwhelmed. Not only does he know you two have to be careful, but most importantly, he knows all of this is a lot. In general.

So, he sticks to the cute texts and phone calls.

Quick mini-meetings in his office in between commitments, especially during the rare moment of an empty basement. Quick hello's in said office that result in chaste kisses and you darting out before anyone can think twice about why you've been in Professor Choi's office twice [or thrice] in one day.

You do want to be alone with him more, though. You want to see what possibilities lie behind closed doors, the ways you both could show each other your feelings. You want to see where else this could take you two, how it could continue to grow. Where things could head once you two are alone in a space together, with no background noise. No outsiders.

you: are you in your office?

san: sure am!

"San?" You poke your head into his office before sliding in and locking the door. The basement was incredibly [and unusually] empty for a weekday, San's office door and the walls the only thing separating you two from each other.

"Hey." He smiles from his desk, immediately pushing his chair back so he can stand and pull you close. "Wasn't expecting a visit from you right now."

"Sorry." You pout a bit and he shakes his head before placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "I should've asked if you were free first."

"Mm, well." He hums. "I've always got time for you, remember?" You giggle. "Is everything okay?"

"Kinda?"

"Kinda? What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He sits back on the edge of his desk, hand pulling you towards him and slotting you in between his legs.

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Mhm?" He says in a sing-song tone, curious about what you surprisingly popped in for.

"Can I come over?" His eyes widen a bit; not because he doesn't want you to, no. But because he's been dying to have you over. He's just been waiting until you seemed more ready to take that step.

"Tonight?" You nod, playing with his hands. "Of course you can." He pulls his hands away just to rest them behind your back. "Sure you wanna?"

"I do." He chuckles.

"I'll pick you up this time? Down the street from your building."

"Okay."

"Is that all that's been bothering you?"

"I just wasn't sure how to ask without seeming too eager, or desperate, or—"

"Hey." He laughs a bit, brushing your hair away from your face. "Never that. I've been wanting you over, but I wanted to wait until you seemed more comfortable." You relax in his hold and sink into his touch more, fingers threading through the ends of his hair.

"I wanna stay." You boldly let out, causing San to smile.

"You can stay. Whatever you want. Have more than enough room for you, sweetheart." He leans forward to meet you in a sweet, simple peck. "What time do you want me to come get you?"

"I should finish a few things before leaving."

"Just text me then, hm? I'll come whenever you're ready."

"Okay." You look at him before smirking. "That's all I wanted to talk about, Professor Choi." He chuckles, giving your side a good squeeze while biting his bottom lip.

"You're gonna be the death of me."

"Likewise." You playfully tap his nose before planting a kiss on his lips. "I'll text you later."

"Leaving already?" He pouts as you slowly pry yourself off of him because you're in his office. On campus grounds. You have to, even if you don't want to.

"I gotta get back to work, just like you do." You give him a look before waving by the door. "See you later."

"Mhm." He responds in a sing-song tone, crossing his arms tightly against his chest while he watches you walk out.

The butterflies you give him are insane.

After another long ass day of work and classes, you quickly grab dinner with your friends before rushing off to finish the rest of your assignments. You hop in a long, hot steamy shower— exfoliating and moisturizing like crazy. You strut around in your towel, throwing your toiletries into a huge bag, along with some clothes just in case. 

You can never go wrong with an emergency set of clothes and toiletries, right?

You send San a text to let him know you're about to be ready and throw on a lazy fit, feeling comfortable enough to not have to dress up for him during an occasion like this. It's a set of black wide-legged sweats and a cropped half-zip sweater, slipping into your platform Uggs for extra comfort. You step through your little cloud of perfume before grabbing your bag and heading out.

Ring, ring.

"Hey." You pick up the call, your eyes quickly scanning your surroundings. There isn't anyone in close proximity, but you still feel like someone might've caught onto the phone call coming through. Like someone could be listening, could be nearby, could be onto you.

"Where are you? I'm right outside the lot, leading into the residential street."

"I'm on my way. Someone might see you!"

"Y/N, I promise. No one's out here. This part of the street is pretty dead."

"Okay, but people coming in and out of the buildings?"

"I promise you it's fine and out of view. Hurry. I miss you." You roll your eyes when you hear the slight whine in his tone.

"Choi San, I swear." You mutter his name so lowly, paranoid of someone accidentally hearing you call your professor's name on the phone in passing.

"Mm, when you say my name like that, though." He wears a shit-eating smirk underneath the black mask he's wearing. Truthfully, he does look a little suspect hanging out in his car off to the side of the lot in a hat and black mask. He uses his second car, a Porsche Taycan, that he doesn't really take to campus— usually drives it when he wants to go for a drive down the highway by himself late at night, or when it's time to kick it with the boys. He's certain none of them are lingering around campus since they're always so quick to book it after their last meetings or classes. It's the best way he could conceal himself right now, he thinks.

It's all good.

"I'm coming out the side door. I'll be there in a second." You hastily hang up and tuck your phone in, feeling some kind of relief that you're almost at the stairs that'll lead you to the side—

"Yo!" Felix calls out with Jiung next to him. "Where are you going? We were just coming to bother you." He furrows his brows, eyes shifting to the huge tote bag you're carrying.

"I.. need to go to the lab."

"The lab? Now?" Jiung tilts his head. They're a little confused, but they're also not entirely surprised— people were in and out of the labs doing work at all times of the day. Some were night owls and preferred doing work late nights to avoid fighting over equipment and space during the day. It wasn't uncommon.

What is confusing is your large ass bag, though. For what?

"Yeah, I gotta check on one of the mice. The vet said they looked sick." Jiung and Felix nod as they take the lie. Again.

"Why are you bringing a big ass bag, though? Are you hauling the mice away or something?" Felix snorts.

"No, I have some supplies in here that I'm bringing over. We're building new behavior arenas now that the foundation of the rig is done." Felix shrugs.

"Oh, okay. Do you need us to walk you?"

"No!" You respond a bit too quickly that they're back to giving you weird, confused looks. "No— Sorry." You smile. "I'll be fine. I think Sunwoo has been there anyway. Thank you, though."

"Mm, okay then." Jiung shrugs. "Just let us know if you need us to come get you?" He pops another apple slice in his mouth.

"I will." You wave as you walk through the door and head down the steps in a hurry. 

"Was Y/N being a little weird or..?" Felix asks, but Jiung shrugs.

"Eh, she's probably a little overwhelmed or something." He turns down the hall. "Let's just go see what Eunchae is doing." 

You finally dart out the side door, doing a light jog over the grassy area and taking a shortcut towards the street that leads into the residential area from your building. You see San parked behind another car near the first house on the street, and San can see you making your way over through the rearview mirror. He smiles to himself when you near the car, pulling on the door handle to slide into the passenger's seat. His car smells like a mix of his air freshener, along with a hint of his cologne that you've slowly become obsessed with.

"Hey beautiful." He leans over the middle console and pulls down his mask. He puckers up his lips and it makes you giggle just as you lean in to give him what he wants. He doesn't pull back right away, no. Instead, he deepens the kiss and slips some tongue in, a shaky exhale released in between as his hand comes up to caress your cheek.

"Maybe we should leave." 

"Mhm." San teases as he continues to kiss you, smirking into the kiss. 

"San."

"Just one more." He chuckles before dipping forward and kissing you passionately again. You bite onto your bottom lip when he finally sits back in the driver's seat and rests his head against the headrest, admiring how cute you look in your leggings and hoodie. "You're cute."

"Stop." You giggle and shake your head. "Drive before someone sees us."

"Yes ma'am." He starts up the car and begins to drive to his destination. You're not really sure what to expect since it's your first time going to his place. You knew San was well off, but you didn't know what you were walking into— did he live in a modern, expensive ass apartment? Was it a penthouse? A regular single family home? You'll finally see why Mingi likes to barge in from time to time. "How was your day?" You're pulled out of your thoughts when he chimes in with the question.

"It was okay. I ran into Jiung and Felix as I was leaving." He leans against his window with one hand on the wheel, letting out a breathy laugh.

"Oh? How was that?"

"I don't know? I think they believed me. I said I was heading into lab." San shrugs.

"That's a good reason since it isn't uncommon. I'm sure it's fine, angel." He looks at you before returning his attention to the road in front of him. "It's pretty hot seeing you work so hard in my lab."

"Shut up, Professor Choi." He bites on his bottom lip before slipping his hand on your thigh. He gives it a good squeeze as he continues to drive in silence, the music softly filling the void in the car.

"Did you eat?" You nod.

"Mhm. Just grabbed something from the dining hall."

"Good."

"Did you?" He nods.

"Mhm. Just wanted to make sure you were okay, though."

"I am. Thank you." You watch as the surroundings pass you by while San takes you down towards another neighborhood near campus. A lot of other professors live closeby since the university has housing assistance for them as well. You just hope San's home is one of the select few that's isolated and isn't heavily populated with said group of professors.

When San pulls into his garage, you're a little surprised at the house. You're in awe because you wonder how San makes use of all this space living alone. It's a beautiful single family home, and you're sure the decision to buy this had come from Professor Lee when they had been married. You wonder if he still holds onto those memories, or why he didn't end up moving to another place. Perhaps—

"Y/N?" You snap out of it and turn to San, who has already parked the car and is unbuckling his seatbelt. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was spacing out."

"You sure you're okay?" He chuckles. The both of you step out of the car and head into the hallway that leads straight into his bar and kitchen area first. "I can practically hear you thinking, sweetheart." He kicks off his shoes and you follow suit, San waiting for you before walking deeper into his house. You look up at him and he gives you a small smile, holding out his hand for you to take. "Relax. You can ask me anything." He pulls you flush against him, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. "Okay?" He tilts your chin up and presses a kiss against your lips, which surely does put you at ease.

"I'm just curious about some stuff."

"Like?" You step into the living room and set your bag down on the couch temporarily. Your eyes roam around, scanning the sleek and simple decorations. It gives off a classy, modern look; room full of brown, white and black themes, wood hints.

"I'm not sure I know how to ask." You rub at your arms while San grabs two wine glasses from the cabinets and sets them down on the island counter.

"Ask away. I won't mind. I think I already know where you're going with it, anyway." You walk towards the island and rest your elbows against the marble countertop. "Is wine good, or do you want something else?"

"Wine is good." You pause, fully taking in what San is wearing as he continues to move around the kitchen. He's casually dressed in black Essentials sweats with a matching black tee. He sets his hat off to the side, running a hand through his soft, black hair. You think San is attractive during the day with his usual button-up top and slacks, but this— this was even more attractive to you and had you buckling at the knees the more you ogled at him. "Don't you get lonely being in this big house? I-I mean, you used to live here with her, right?" You chime in, hoping not to seem too spaced out and in your thoughts again.

"Mhm. I've gotten used to it, though." He says with a soft smile. "By the way, white or red?"

"White, if you have any please." He nods.

"I got you." He digs into his wine cooler beneath the island.

"Why didn't you wanna sell this and buy another house?" He shrugs.

"To be honest, I've thought about it. Every corner of this house used to remind me of her and I'd hate it." He pours wine into your glasses. "But, I really do love the house and the space it gives me. I just flipped it into something I'd be happy and comfortable with, and I've moved past all of that. It just feels like my space now."

"That's good. As long as you're okay. You decorated your home beautifully too, San."

"I am, yeah. Thank you, pretty girl." He smiles and comes around the corner to wrap his arms around you from behind. He kisses the back of your head as you relax in his hold, letting out a small exhale. "Is there anything else you're curious about?"

"Not right now." San chuckles a bit.

"Okay, well. I'll be ready for the next time." He kisses your temple. "Why don't you get comfy so we can relax and watch a movie? Sip on some wine, eat some cheese and crackers." You giggle and turn to face him in his hold.

"You're gonna prep some cheese and crackers, too?"

"Why not?" He chuckles. "Let me take you upstairs so you can get comfortable." You grab your things and take his hand, silently following San up to the second level of his home. There's a little loft that he's converted into a small gaming area— another smaller L-shaped sectional couch nestled against the walls with his gaming consoles on the shelf beneath the TV, board games neatly stacked away. There's a guest room to your right, his office to the left. You peek and find a large bookshelf covering the back wall behind his large desk and computer set up. "Here's my room." He takes you into his large master bedroom; sheets neatly made, large master bathroom off to the right corner of the room. "Bathroom's through there if you need anything." He looks at you. "Or, you can use the guest room if you feel more comfortable doing so."

"Thank you."

"Course. I'll be downstairs, okay?" He kisses you on the lips. You watch as he heads back downstairs to give you some privacy, returning your attention to the interior of his room. It's a little weird when you think that this used to be a space shared by Iseul— she'd be in here all the time, closet partially hers, bed shared with her. You brush off the thoughts and set your things aside before walking into his spotless bathroom to freshen up even though you just took a shower. San's got his own skincare, cologne and other hair products neatly organized off to the side. You complete your nightly routine for your skincare and slip into more appropriate pajamas in an effort to wind down and get cozy for bedtime. When you step out of the bathroom, you hear the tv echoing from downstairs, along with what sounds like San humming to a song. You head down the steps to see San setting up the last bits of his cute cheese and crackers display, wiping off the crumbs on his island counter. "Hey. You all good?"

"Mhm." You giggle, following him to the couch. You plop onto the open space just as San jogs back to bring over the wine he poured earlier. "What're we watching?"

"Good question." He says, flipping through the channels while sitting next to you and sipping on his wine. "Should we put on something cute or..?"

"Have you ever watched Worst Ex Ever?"

"Oh— ah, okay. So we're going the true crime route." You laugh and shake your head.

"I watched that, but I wanted to watch the other installment, Worst Roommate Ever." He nods and throws it on.

"Yeah, I'm all for it!" He kicks off the first episode and leans back against the couch, one arm draped over you from behind, giving you the opportunity to scoot closer to him.

As the episode continues, you find that San is actually really interested in these things— engaging in conversation about your thoughts, why certain events happened in the episode, motives, thought processes— you love how he carries the conversation with you. You enjoy watching the show a little too much with him that time seems to fly right on by despite the hour-long episodes. You'd laugh and giggle when San pouts and whines when he's guessed wrong, resulting in you two sharing cute, little intimate kisses in between. After you both finish your wine and go through most of his charcuterie board, you snuggle up closer to San. You've got your legs folded up on the couch, with San's hand grazing your thigh every time he dips forward for a kiss. You've gone through 2 and a half episodes before you're yawning and giving San tired eyes, so he pauses the show; hand gently rubbing at your thigh.

"Tired?" You nod.

"Kinda tired, yeah." He chuckles and shuts off the TV.

"Let's get upstairs then." You help him clean up the wine glasses and the board even though he insisted he had everything under control. But, as he steps back and takes a moment to watch you rinse out the dishes and load them into the dishwasher, he finds his heart skipping a few beats. He likes seeing this; he likes seeing you, in his kitchen, as if you were always meant to be in this home. With him. It just felt so.. natural and domestic. It's been so long since he's genuinely felt that way. You give him a small smile when you've finished, beginning to climb up the steps as San shuts off his lights and makes sure all the doors are locked. You head into his room and start to brush your teeth, San following suit next to you. You don't even think twice about the whole thing, even as you walk towards his bed with him. He pulls back the covers and you slide in, staring at the ceiling above while he cozies up to you.

"San."

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm ready to ask the next question. But, you don't have to answer if you don't want to." You turn towards him and lay on your stomach. He chuckles a bit and brushes your hair back, reassuring you to continue on. You said you'd wait for him to open up, but you couldn't help it— you were curious, and you felt like you were getting deeper into this thing with San. Maybe it was time.

"I'll answer, but I might not go into detail. How about that?" He already knows where this is going. And with you, he wants to be as transparent as possible without having to relive that part of his life again. Despite his feelings for you, he still needs to hold space for himself especially with that aspect. He doesn't wanna undo the work he's done on himself.

"Okay."

"Go for it, angel."

"What was your relationship like with her?" He lets out a breath as he rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, elbow propped up on the pillow. 

"Mm, well. I'd say it was good until she realized it wasn't me she wanted this entire time. We were one of those couples who moved quickly and unfortunately, it just didn't work out well for us at all. We ended just as quickly as we blossomed." You look at him.

"So, when did you meet and when did everything happen?"

"We met in grad school. We started going out maybe a year after we had met and been good friends. Me, her and Yunho were always together. Another year after that, we're married. Things were good even though things were moving fast. Parents liked each other, we bought this house. It felt like things were falling into place. We were doing a lot of 'future' talks, even thought about kids at one point." You continue to listen intently while San goes on, his hand tracing faint shapes on your clothed back. "But then, the postdoc years happened. We were both busy, but me especially. I hadn't realized it then, but I was putting work and the lab before anything and anyone else. I kinda can't even blame her for acting the way she did because I should've paid more attention to her as her husband."

"You can't blame yourself, San." 

"I don't." He smiles a bit. "Not anymore, at least. In general, I should've just paid more attention." He lets out a small sigh. "I knew her and Yunho had gotten close so I didn't think much of it when I started to see them hanging out more without me, or starting things without me. The busier I got, the more she leaned on Yunho. He was there for her when I wasn't. That's what she wanted and needed the most, and he was there to provide that for her. He was able to." 

"Did she ever talk to you about it?"

"She was the type who couldn't communicate well. She'd harbor everything until that one thing triggers her and makes her blow up." You nod. "Whenever I felt tension or whenever I felt her being off, I'd ask, and her response was always 'i'm just tired' or 'too many things going on with my project, it's overwhelming.' There were only a few occasions when she told me she felt like I wasn't there for her enough. I wanted to fix it, but she brushed it off and said it was fine, that this was just our life together." San shakes his head. "Not once did I ever wanna give up on her. I wanted to fix it. I tried everything to be better for her, but I was too late, I guess. I found out about her and Yunho seeing each other behind my back, I called the divorce. She tried running back a few times but we'd always end up worse than the last time. We'd yell, we'd argue. I'd be hurt all over again, re-opening that same wound over and over again. Had me thinking I had a chance to actually fix us, only to be shot down. Then later, her and Yunho eloped and got married."

"Fuck." You mutter. "Sorry— I just, I don't even know what to say."

"The worst part is that she blamed me and painted me to be the bad guy. It got so toxic, it really messed me up. She would tell people this false narrative that I always fought with her and that I was unfair. My priorities were everywhere. She told people she properly broke it off before seeing Yunho when that wasn't the case. I dunno why she said and did all those things. Maybe she was angry at me for not trying the way Yunho did? Maybe she just hated me?"

"You and Yunho are two very different people, and you did try to fix it. She just wanted to be a brat about it. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too." You frown. "I'm sorry, San."

"For what, baby?" He laughs a bit. "It is what it is, it happened and I'm past it."

"Yeah, but still." You play with his hair. "What was Yunho doing in all of this?"

"Denying the affair even though I caught them. He kept trying to apologize but there was always a 'but.' I mean, what else can he do? That's his girl so he's going with it."

"Sick." You sigh. "Can't believe them. They don't deserve you anyway."

"You're right. They don't. I have my people by my side." He taps the tip of your nose. "Now, you."

"You do have me." You lay your head down on the pillow while looking at him.

"I do?" He teasingly leans forward, inches away from your lips.

"Mhm."

"Good. That's all I need." His eyes shift down to your lips briefly before shifting back up to you. "Is there anything else you wanna ask?"

"Hm. Do you really mean that?"

"What? That you're all I need?" You nod. "I don't lie. Ever." He chuckles, caressing your cheek sweetly.

"Just kinda hard to believe hearing it from you."

"That's okay. I mean—" He whispers, pressing light, feathery kisses to your cheeks, corner of your lips. "I can show you instead, if you'd let me?"

"Show me." You whisper back, tilting your head back to give San more access to your neck, to you. One second, he's kissing up on your neck with your hands tangled in the ends of his hair; the next, your tongues are fighting for dominance in a heated kiss. Everything feels so calculated, so full of genuine emotion and desire. San's hands travel up your shirt, massaging your breasts before letting his thumb play around with your nipples. You let out a breathy moan in between kisses, back arching in response to his touch. He carefully removes your shirt and tosses it aside, mouth now latching onto one hardened bud. His tongue flicks around, working in circular motions before pulling back with a pop— earning a louder moan to slip from your lips, goosebumps rising on your skin. He repeats the motions on the other, taking his time to lick and suck around your nipple before pulling back. 

San is quick to reattach his lips to yours; this kiss holding more fervor, more intensity, as his hand slides down to completely slide your bottoms off. You work to remove his shirt, the both of you bare in a matter of seconds.

Clothes littering his bedside.

He tries not to break the kiss, even as he crawls on top of you, fingers dipping into your heat and in between your folds to get a sense of how wet you already are. 

"Oh my god." You cry. San's cock is painfully hard, hitting your thigh while he continues to pepper your jaw, neck, with kisses.

"Can I have you, baby?" He whispers in your ear. 

"Y-yes." You can barely make out from the overwhelming desire, excitement. Thrill.

This was actually happening.

San hovers slightly to slide his nightstand drawer out, but you stop him before he can grab a condom. 

"I'm on the IUD." You shake your head. "Don't need it."

"You sure?" He asks once more for final confirmation, and you give it to him with a nod. He pauses, eyes skimming through your features again before pecking you on the lips, hand coming down to stroke his length. You drool at the sight, admiring how perfectly long and thick he is. He smirks, tapping his heavy cock against your pussy a few times. 

Just to be a fucking tease.

He starts slow— pressing his cock in between your folds, gliding up and down. 

"Mm— god." He huffs. "You feel perfect already." San watches the way your eyes roll back, mouth open as you let out small whines and whimpers at the feeling. He nudges your clit with his tip as he continues to slide up and down, earning a loud mewl to release from your lips. His other hand is now gripping your jaw to force you to maintain eye contact with him— it's not a harsh grip, but it's enough to keep you clenching around nothing. Enough to keep you writhing for more underneath him. He rubs the tip against your sensitive nub directly, another shaky moan releasing from your lips. 

"Fuck, San." You hiss, feeling the pleasure build right at your core with the way he's rubbing against you; legs cocked all the way open for him.

"So beautiful. Think I can make you cum like this, angel?" You take your hand and wrap it around his base, letting him thrust into your hand as he continues his movements between your folds. "Feels so fucking good. Can't even imagine how you'd feel wrapped around me. Hm?" He hums, head kicking back in pleasure while trying to maintain his composure. Because fuck, he can feel himself dangerously close to the edge, but he's hanging on so he can feel you— all of you.

"San, San— oh god, San." You cry repeatedly, feeling your clit ready to explode. His tip is hitting it at the right pace, hitting you in all the right spots at the right pace. You move your hips upward, grinding into his length as he continues; mouth slacked open from the overwhelming pleasure. "You're gonna make me cum." 

"Yeah? Use me. Wanna see how pretty you look when you cum." He stills and watches as you use his cock to reach your first orgasm of the night, pressing him down with the right pressure onto your heat as you grind at a quicker pace— finally toppling over the edge. His eyes glow when he watches your mouth slack open from the silent moan you release, hands coming down to ease your twitching body. "God, you're perfect." He presses feathery kisses across your jaw, chin.

Neck.

Coming right below to your sweet spot below the ear.

"Ready for me?" He asks near your ear, gently nibbling your earlobe and giving you chaste kisses on said sweet spot. You nod, giving him the green light to move further. He lines himself at your entrance before gently pushing himself in, loud moans escaping the more he buries himself to the hilt. "Baaaby." San's moan drags out as he eases himself into you. "Shit, you're so tight." He slowly pumps in and out, eyes glued to his cock as you coat it with your slickness. "Feeling okay?"

"Mhm. Feels so full." You almost whine. His hands are now pressed onto your inner thighs to make sure you keep yourself open for him. He rolls his hips into you as he hovers over your body and locks you into another kiss. He doesn't waste any time picking up his pace, the way you whine and beg, beg and whine— it drives him crazy. 

"Take me. You can do it, sweetheart." His thumb presses down on your bottom lip, tongue licking into your mouth just as he devours you in a sloppy, wet kiss. You let out a strangled, lewd moan when he starts pounding into you harder, deeper; sounds of skin slapping against skin bouncing off the walls. Pussy squelching. San's name being repeated like a song, a mantra.

The noise is nothing short of pornographic.

"Please. More. Give it to me." You plead. "Feels too good."

"Shit— Y/N, jesus fucking christ." San groans when he slowly pulls out just to the tip, creamy mess lathering the top of his dick like icing. "Gonna make me cum." He pounds back into you at an angle where he can reach all your spots. He lowers himself back down to kiss you, fucking into you while expertly rubbing away at your aching clit.

San is so, so good.

"Want you to cum in me, San."

"Yeah? You did so well for me, baby. I'll fill you up real good. Just how you want it."' After two, three more hard thrusts, you find yourself unraveling for the second time. And this time, it comes crashing down harder, your walls squeezing and constricting around him. You're digging your nails deep into San's back, moaning into his mouth as he continues to chase his high. "I'm cumming— fuck." He lets out a loud, breathy moan as he stills; milking every last bit of himself into you. He buries himself in the crook of your neck, pressing kisses to the surface before coming up to kiss you softly on the lips. "You okay, baby?" He smiles.

"Mhm." He presses a few more repeated, tender kisses to your lips before running off to the bathroom to help clean you up. You lay back on your tummy as San slips himself back under the sheets, sitting back against the headboard. He sighs, black glasses perched on his nose while the sheets are pulled up to his hips. You watch as he pulls his laptop and sits it on his lap before typing away, letting out a small giggle at the way he's working.

"Do you always work naked like that? Especially after what just happened?" You tease. San smirks before giving your head a playful but gentle rub.

"Only if you're around."

"You're sick." He laughs.

"Why, is it distracting?" You giggle and shake your head, shoving your face further down into the pillow to avoid eye contact.

"No." You mumble into the pillow. 

"Then, why can't you look at me?" You peek from the pillow, catching San looking straight down at you with a small smile on his face. "Gotta beg for a kiss, too?" You roll your eyes and shift upwards to give him a peck on the lips before sinking back down into the sheets. "Good girl."

"In all seriousness though, do you always have a ton of work to catch up on at night?"

"Mm, I just prefer to catch up on things at night. Sometimes, it's easier to get through it when I'm winding down." He lets out a small sigh as he continues to scroll through his inbox and reply to a few emails. He also needs to work on some more grant-related things that he's been kinda putting off. "No biggie, though." He looks at you. "Getting sleepy now?"

"A bit. Good thing I caught up on everything before leaving."

"How'd you know you'd be busy?" He laughs a bit.

"You're so annoying. Plus, I'd rather not do my homework around you."

"Why? I can be of help."

"No, Professor Choi. Leave me to my own work." You mutter as you turn the other way and shut your eyes for a little longer. San lets out a small laugh before typing away on his laptop. It isn't long before you've stopped moving and he hears your soft breathing against the pillow, causing him to smile to himself. He leans over to press a kiss against your head, whispering a quick 'goodnight beautiful' before resuming his work. He works for another 15 minutes before he feels exhaustion taking over his body. He shuts off his laptop and sets it aside, snuggling under the covers and pulling you close as he quickly drifts off to sleep with you in his arms.

When the next morning comes, you wake up from the best sleep you've had in awhile. The sheets are keeping you warm and cozy, the mattress feels perfect against your body— everything feels perfect, except there's no San and you're yearning for him already.

You've barely been awake and all you want is San.

Luckily for you, you hear his footsteps as he comes up the steps right at that moment. When he turns into the room, he's already dressed in today's attire: a cream-colored long-sleeve henley top and jeans.

"Hey." San sits on the edge of the bed and runs his soft hand up and down your bare back. You look at him lazily, threatening to fall back asleep with the way his fingers lightly run across the surface.

"Hi." You look at him sweetly and he feels his heart melt. He could get used to this.

"Going back to sleep?"

"Mm." You stretch a bit and sit up, grabbing the covers to shield your naked body. "I should probably get up and get ready to head back."

"Do you have to?" He whines.

"Yes." You giggle. "My friends are probably gonna try and bother me before class. And in case you've forgotten, sir, I have to help Sunwoo fix the 2P for our work in your lab."

"Sexy."

"You're too much." You tease, making San chuckle. "Do you have meetings in between class today?"

"Mm, yeah. A few. I have to meet with Chris and Jongho about this ongoing collaboration discussion and some last minute symposium things, then I have to meet with some donors."

"Goodluck."

"Thank you, baby." He caresses your chin before kissing your forehead. "Come downstairs when you're done getting ready."

"Okay." You stretch as San heads to his office really quickly before heading back down to the kitchen. You strut to bathroom to wash up and get ready for your day, throwing on the same outfit you had on when San picked you up. After gathering your things and fixing San's bed, you head downstairs and find that San's got a cup of coffee and a breakfast plate fixed for you. He's standing near the counter, sipping his coffee while scrolling through his phone.

"Breakfast?" He smiles at you before wrapping an arm around you, pulling you in for kiss.

"Thank you."

Even though things feel too good to be true, you could definitely get used to this.

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thespiffynerd @vixensss @santineez @nopension

[wren-kitchens]

no big deal (i love you)

2598 words

etho is in joel's house. it should probably be a little more alarming than it actually is, considering the fact that it is two in the morning and joel definitely did not invite him here. however, if it means he gets to make fun of etho for being so obsessed with him that he broke into his house, he'll take it. in all honesty, he is a little offended that etho hasn't already come to pester him—it's not like they’re soulmates or anything. if joel was in etho's house in the middle of the night, the first thing he would do is go to pester etho.

hello i'm back on my bullshit I love qpr boat boys

this took me like. idek how long but it was several months LOL

etho is in joel's house.

it should probably be a little more alarming than it actually is, considering the fact that it is two in the morning and joel definitely did not invite him here. however, if it means he gets to make fun of etho for being so obsessed with him that he broke into his house, he'll take it. in all honesty, he is a little offended that etho hasn't already come to pester him—it's not like they’re soulmates or anything. if joel was in etho's house in the middle of the night, the first thing he would do is go to pester etho.

oh- joel should probably tell you how he knows that etho is here, huh. well, let's be honest, the guy is not subtle. joel has practically memorised the way his claws scratch against wooden floors as he walks from the amount of times etho would pace in double life; when everything else is silent, etho's claws are deceptively loud. for a little while, joel didn't understand why etho wouldn’t use his claws like weapons, until he asked one day only to be told (slightly sheepishly) that he trims them because he hates the way they scratch against metal or diamond boots. honestly, joel gets it—he’s always been secretly pleased about the no-helmet rule in the life series; he would much rather sacrifice protection if it meant he didn't have to squish his ears underneath a helmet.

anyway, it's obvious that etho is attempting to be sneaky and failing miserably, but joel is yet to discover why he’s trying to be sneaky. he expected etho to- well, he’s not sure what he expected, but it wasn't whatever he’s doing right now. although, he also didn't expect etho at his house this late (early?), so it's kind of all up in the air anyway.

on that note, joel has no idea what to do. is it more awkward to pretend he doesn't know etho is here, or to go look for etho and ask what he's doing? honestly, joel kind of just wants to go find him and drag him into bed but- void, even saying that is embarrassing. no- there's no way he’s gonna do anything like that- pretend he didn't even say anything. joel regrets even mentioning it. despite how embarrassing it is, however, the problem remains that etho is definitely in his house, and joel has no idea why.

well, only one way to find out.

grumbling to himself about the blankets being way warmer than the outside world and why etho couldn’t wait until the sun had come up to come poking about, joel drags himself out of his bed and begins the hunt for etho. well- he pauses, grabs a blanket to wrap around his shoulders, and thenbegins the hunt for etho. honestly, why couldn't etho be more outgoing—the guy is way too reclusive to be friends with joel. not that joel is known for being introverted but- oh, you know what he means. 

it doesn’t take long to find etho—he’s curled up against a bookshelf near joel's bedroom, apparently trying to drift off. when he spots joel, he practically jumps out of his skin. 

"joel! you- did i wake you?" etho scrambles to his feet, looking uncharacteristically nervous. joel frowns at it. "i’m- I was just-" 

"are you okay?" joel realises after he says it that perhaps he was a little blunt, but- okay, in his defence, he has just woken up. "I mean- you seem.. uh, not okay."

smooth.

etho's ear flicks in what joel recognises as anxiety, hands clasped together as if to keep them from trembling. "me? oh- i’m perfectly fine! peachy even- y’know." 

joel tilts his head, more worried than he'd like to admit. "you- okay, so." his mind races as he tries to find something to say that won't put etho more on edge. "I- you say i’m obsessed with you, but- y’know, it looks a little like you’re obsessed with me right now."

"oh- no, no, that- I was just- taking build inspiration!" etho says hurriedly, and something about his posture seems slightly more relaxed. "it's nothing like that. in fact- I noticed that you kept that shirt with my face on, which- I mean, I don’t know, that looks pretty obsessed to me."

annoyingly, joel feels his face flush. "wh- okay, you let me keep it."

etho's eyes soften. "it- well. it suits you." joel's ear flicks unconsciously, and etho seems to realise how sappy he just was, because he turns pink and tacks on, "you- just- the shirt- it's oversized, and- you were saying how you liked them. uh- that one time."

joel can't quite suppress a smile at the fact that etho remembered one offhand comment he made two years ago. "whatever you say, etho." it takes a moment (and etho turning even pinker) for joel to realise how fond his voice was. "it- i’m making fun of you. not- y’know."

there's a spark of what joel can only describe as evil in etho's eyes, and he says, "whatever you say joel." with more smugness than he frankly deserves.

"you- no, you broke into my house, you don't get to make fun of me." joel says, indignant. clearly, his soulmate is the worst person in the world, because all etho does is poorly disguise a laugh as a cough.

"it isn’t breaking in if all your doors are open." etho grins. joel is a little annoyed at how well his plan has worked, because whilst he was trying to get etho more relaxed, he did not mean this relaxed.

joel raises an eyebrow, both exasperated and embarrassingly fond. "you haven't said why you broke in."

etho's expression shifts from amusement to anxiety in a matter of seconds, and joel is kind of impressed. "I- well, is that-  important?"

"you- since you asked like that, yeah." joel says, a little worried. whilst etho is pretty awful at actually disguising his emotions, usually he doesn't actually do anything about them unless something is very wrong. "I- y’know, don’t get me wrong, it's not- i’m not mad about it, but. are you alright?"

etho hesitates, looking as if he might try to make a run for it before sighing. he sits back down against the bookshelves, and joel takes the opportunity to sit next to him. "it's not even- it's barely a problem." etho glances at him. "as you would say, it's very dumb." 

joel scoffs, smiling a little. "then I guess it's my job to say that it's not dumb if it's upsetting you." he bumps his shoulder against etho's, who looks a little less anxious now. "what is it?"

there's a pause, in which joel can practically hear etho's brain working to phrase it in a somewhat normal way. "I- it's all-" he gives an exasperated huff. "since we- since double life, I keep getting these.. i’d call them dreams, but they’re really just nightmares." etho pulls his knees to his chest, and joel frowns in worry. "and they’re always something like- like we've won, but now I have to kill you. or you die and i’ve- i’m still there."

joel feels his breath hitch as the weight of those words hit him. "oh."

"so I just- I had to make sure," etho says, quiet. "that it- it was just a dream."

"etho." joel murmurs, resting his hand on etho's knee. etho takes his hand and squeezes. "I hope you know you’re not getting rid of me that easily."

etho gives the barest smile, and rubs a thumb against joel's hand. "I do."

"like, you’re gonna want me dead before i’m going anywhere." joel leans against etho's side in what he hopes is a nonchalant manner, but knows probably isn’t. 

etho makes a noise of contentment, and joel no longer cares about nonchalance actually. "that's unlikely." he says. joel is about to object when etho adds, "I don't think I could ever want you to leave me alone."

joel's tail begins to wag without his say, and he hurriedly grabs it before it embarrasses him too much. etho snorts and he elbows him.

"i’d miss that, for a start." etho says, and joel rolls his eyes.

"I wouldn’t." he huffs, no heat behind it. embarrassing or not, etho likes it, and that's a redeeming quality for anything. because he’s normal. 

etho gives a quiet laugh. "yeah- that's kinda why." he mutters, more to himself than to joel—who elbows him in the ribs and grins as he protests.

joel is quiet for a moment, debating whether what he wants to say is actually worth saying or not. eventually, he decides on, "you know- if you need, i’m not gonna.. kick you out, or anything. you can wake me up. if- if something happens again."

etho nods, staring at his lap. "yeah. I just-" he hesitates, and joel rubs a thumb idly across the back of his hand. "i’m starting to feel like you." he gives a laugh, and joel rolls his eyes fondly. "I didn’t realise just how- it's hard."

"yep." joel says flatly. "you get used to it, after a bit. it gets easier."

"can it get easier now?" etho says, grinning, and joel snorts. 

theres a little pause, and joel shifts a little, getting more comfortable. honestly, etho is surprisingly effective as a cushion—you wouldn't expect it, but he is. who needs a bed when you have a soulmate, is he right?

"are you-" etho starts, and joel looks up to see his eyes crinkle in the way they do when he’s trying not to smile. "is- are you using me as a pillow?"

"yep." joel says, shuffling closer. "I had to get out of bed for this."

etho snorts, wrapping an arm around him. "I see how it is."

they lapse into silence again, and joel finds himself wanting to ask something that he knows he would never be able to bring himself to say out loud. the irony is not lost on him- why is there no easy way to embarrass yourself? could he not just- turn his brain off whilst he’s asking and deal with the aftermath later? that seems so much easier than sitting here and trying to just say the stupid thing. it should not be nearly as difficult as it is.

come on. just- say the stupid thing, and then he'll have said it- it's not even bad. he’s, like- almost entirely sure that etho will say yes- he always does. this is so dumb. okay, just-

"do you-" joel manages, apparently startling etho with his suddenness, and- honestly, that alone is worth saying it. "it- 'cause I doubt we're gonna get much sleep on the floor. do you want to- um." he gives a huff of exasperation. "do you know what I mean?"

"I know what you mean." etho says, fonder than he probably wanted to sound, before- "I would love to sleep with you, joel." he says, far too smug for joel's liking.

"you- that's not what I mean." joel splutters, and etho laughs at him. "you’re so rude, etho- I can’t believe i’m helping you right now."

etho is still laughing to himself when he says, "I- really, though. I do- I get what you mean- and I do want to." he hesitates, and joel almost frowns.

"what?" he says, anxiety beginning to creep into his throat.

"I- well." etho pauses, before pulling joel a little closer to him, who almost laughs as he realises what the problem is. "i’m not. uncomfortable right now." 

joel grins at him. "it's not- this isn't exclusively a floor activity. I can hug you somewhere that's actually comfortable." 

faster than joel can process, etho pulls his mask down and kisses the top of his head. "fine, we can move." he pushes himself to his feet, a smirk evident in his voice. 

"you-" joel blinks, watching etho try (very obviously) not to laugh as he scrambles to regain logical thought. he can feel his tail begin to wag again, but he's far too focused on this to try and stop it. "why would you-"

etho shrugs, still grinning as he helps joel off the floor. "I- well, 'cause you do that." he says in a voice that's just a little too sincere to be teasing. "your smile is- it- y’know. 's nice." etho gets quieter and quieter as he speaks, apparently realising how mushy he’s become.

"you like my smile?" joel tries to pull off a smug smirk, but if etho's expression is anything to go by, it's also far mushier than he wants it to be. "aw, etho." he teases, watching with fond amusement as etho turns visibly pink under the mask. 

"that- we are going to bed!" etho declares loudly, pulling joel into a one-armed hug as he cackles. "i’m never gonna bring that up again." etho mumbles to himself, apparently forgetting that joel can definitely hear him still.

joel finds himself leaning into etho as they walk, who squeezes him gently. "you’re such a sap." he grins, pointedly ignoring the way his own tail is still wagging. "it's funny."

etho knocks his hip into joel's. "like you’re not." he says, and joel can hear the smile in his voice. 

"well," joel says, a little quieter than he'd usually be. "it's you." he turns, looking very pointedly anywhere but etho's face.

there's a little pause in which joel can only assume that etho is using to prepare the teasing he will undoubtedly get for the rest of his life, when etho finally lands on, "you- that's- you mean that?"

joel scoffs. "'course I do." he says, seriously hoping that his false nonchalance reads as real. "I- y’know, i’m not gonna- i’m-" he watches as etho's expression goes from anxiety to amusement and huffs, giving up on the pretence. "yeah."

etho pulls him a little closer. "nerd." is all he says, and he laughs as joel splutters in indignation. "sorry, sorry, I- it was too perfect." he grins, and joel scoffs. "I- y’know. I care about you too."

joel leans into him. "I do. know, that is." he smiles to himself a little. "y’know- soulmates and everything."

"yeah." etho presses a kiss into joel's hair, who gives a huff of embarrassed appreciation. "soulmates is a good word for it."

as they reach the bed, etho seems to hesitate a little, and joel—not one for awkward moments—practically yanks him in, laughing as he makes a very surprised squawky noise. after a second of complaining, etho curls up next to joel, who immediately begins to use him as a pillow again. what? he’s comfortable. nothing like a cushion who hugs you back whilst making snarky jokes about you being obsessed (which are obviously false. obviously).

"just to say," joel says, intentionally very casual. "if I got, like- I don’t know, booted from hermitcraft and couldn't see you again, i’d find a way back." he shifts a little, picking at his nails. "nothing could stop me- you know this."

etho is quiet for a moment, and joel is a little worried he overstepped, until- "I love you too, joel."

joel looks up to find etho's mask off, and the man in question smiling just a bit too knowingly at him. "yeah- well." he turns back to his nails. "love you." he mumbles, turning pink.

etho pulls him closer, and joel gets the impression that he wasn't sure joel was actually going to say it back. 

idiot.

[ponderingmoonlight]

Your Arranged Marriage Series

Part 2: Geto Suguru

Word Count: 3k

Synopsis: You’ve always carried the weight of the Zenin name, struggling to live up to a family legacy that crushes more than it elevates. When your father demands you marry one of the few special-grade sorcerers at Jujutsu High or suffer a punishment too brutal to consider, you almost give up. Until Geto Suguru makes that decicion for you...

Warnings: reader is a member of the Zenin family so a lot of trauma lol, physical abuse, so much drama but a ton of fluff in the end, Suguru is our husband y'all

„(y/n).“

It started out like any other normal day at jujutsu high. Going to the classroom with Nanami and Yu, giving it all you’ve got despite the fact that you didn’t make it past grade 3 since you’ve started studying here, meeting up with Suguru and Satoru during break.

It’s been a comfortable life, more than you could have ever asked for. After all, you are none other than the daughter of the Zenin clan’s leader. The one who’s supposed to carry on a family of strong jujutsu sorcerers.

You. A grade 3.

“I gave you more than enough time to develop. Fuck, I even arranged you attending that cursed school!”

A rough slap that doesn’t even hurt anymore, your skin so adjusted to the sting that you felt nothing but numbness.

“Are you too dumb to understand the whole clan relies on your lousy self?”

He grabbed your hair and yanked you upwards again, forced you to stare straight into his dead eyes.

“If you aren’t capable of becoming a decent jujutsu sorcerer, you’ll have to marry one. Maybe your children will be of use.”

Your…children? Marrying someone back at jujutsu high? What a ridiculous thought, after all, you’re still way too young for something like this-

“I’ll give you three months. Three months to find a man who is a special grade jujutsu sorcerer. Three months until you have to get married.”

“But…There are only three special grade sorcerers!”, you protested out of instinct, only to get your mouth forcefully shut by another ruthless slap from your father that felt like breaking your nose.

“Seduce them. That’s the least you can do.”

Seduce them. Your gaze drifted towards Satoru and Suguru more than once, wondering if you’d ever dare to make a move on them. They greeted you so friendly, supported you as good as possible. Suguru started giving you training sessions after each and every rough day, taught you on a regular basis in order for you to become stronger.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, (y/n). Even though you’re a Zenin, you don’t have to be a special grade sorcerer”, he spoke softly while lifting you off the ground.

“Easy to say when you’re a special grade yourself…”, you muttered, careful to avoid his gentle gaze.

Suguru has always been to good for this world. Looking out for you when no one else does, supporting you through everything the best he can. Yes, Suguru Geto is the kind of husband every girl you ask for, the boy you’ve kept you’re eye on since the first time he spoke to you.

But asking him out, let alone proposing to him for the sake of your own well-being and your lousy family? You could never do that.

No, Suguru deserves way better than you. What if he thinks you only want him because of his title? What if your father digs his mighty claws into him? There’s no way in hell you’ll ever allow that.

Even if this means directing your father’s anger towards you.

“I’ve been waiting long enough, (y/n).”

His cold voice cuts through the cheerful air and interrupts even Satoru from saying another playful word. All pairs of eyes are suddenly set on you.

Those of your father included.

“Why didn’t I hear from my daughter those past weeks, huh?”

The blood in your veins freezes immediately, all color draining from your face. This is bad, very very bad. You thought you had more time, one more weeks until you’re due. Your father made it more than clear that he’s expecting a husband from you the next time both of you meet.

And you have to offer nothing but yourself.

“I didn’t make it”, you finally mutter.

“You disappoint me all over again. You’ve had one job, (y/n). Only one job.”

He steps towards you, cold eyes glaring you straight into the ground. No, not in front of your friends, not when Suguru stands right next to you-

But before you’re even able to protest, your father grabs your uniform and yanks you towards him, your feet dangling in the air.

“You useless piece of shit”, he screams on top of his lungs while shaking your, forcing every little bit of air out of your lungs.

“Too dumb to get better than grade 3 and finding a husband who’s a special grade? Maybe I should kill you right here on the spot, huh?”

Your father’s grip on your uniform tightens, his furious eyes darkening. The world starts to blur as you gasp, struggling to breathe, but then-

“Let her go.”

The command is quiet, cold. Suguru steps forward, his face calm but his eyes blazing with a determination that makes your father pause. Suguru's hand is on your father’s arm in a flash, prying his fingers off you with a force that leaves no room for resistance.

“What do you think you’re doing?”, your father hisses, venom lacing his words.

Suguru's gaze doesn’t waver.

"If you’re so insistent on a husband for her, then you’ll have one. I’ll marry her. I’m the special grade you’re asking for."

A hush falls over the room, even Satoru, who usually has a comment for everything, is left speechless. The weight of Suguru’s words hangs heavy in the air, settling over you with a mix of relief and fear. This isn’t what you wanted for him. This isn’t what he deserves. But no word of protest escapes your lips, not when your father’s eyes still linger over you dreadfully. What a coward you are, ruining Suguru’s life to safe your own.

After what feels like forever, your father scoffs, but there’s a glimmer of approval in his gaze. Of course, he’s aware of Suguru Geto’s status, the boy who isn’t part of the big jujutsu sorcerer families but still holds breath-taking skills. A pretty good match, a promise to the future.

“Fine,” he sneers.

“But if I see her slipping, she’ll answer to me.”

With that, he storms away, leaving silence and a chill in his wake.

You don’t even dare to look at Suguru, embarrassment now swallowing you whole. This can’t be true, has to be one of your countless nightmares. Your father basically forcing Suguru to marry you while you stand next to him, doing nothing but watching? 

“Hey, are you alright?”, he questions before gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

“You…You don’t have to do this. I need to find another way-“

“By marrying another special grade sorcerer? You know that Satoru and I are your only options here at jujutsu high? I can allow him to hurt you.”

“I…I just need to get stronger”, you press out.

“You need to accept my help. Please, let me do this for you. I can’t stand the idea of you getting hurt by your father.”

“But that means marrying me. That means marrying into that family, that you won’t be able to leave. I…I can’t ask for something like this. We can’t do this.”

You feel like throwing up any given minute, the sudden wave of emotions making you feel dizzy. What are you supposed to do? Why didn’t you try harder? There has to be a way out of this, a way to avoid ruining Suguru’s life together with yours.

But to be honest, your head is empty. There isn’t a single potential solution you didn’t think through already, no way out you didn’t try over those past weeks.

You are too weak to meet your father’s standards on your own and Suguru is the only way for this arranged marriage to involve someone decent. What if your father decides to find a husband for you?

A dry cough escapes your lips while you try to stop yourself from puking.

Is marrying Suguru really the only way?

-after the ceremony-

The evening is still, blanketed in a quiet Suguru and you can feel as the last traces of daylight fade from the sky. Soft candlelight fills the room, casting a gentle, muted glow on the walls - a stark contrast to the earlier chaos of the ceremony. Despite the festivities, the muted joy, and the unspoken words from family and friends, the reality of this arrangement sits heavy in your chest, and a kind of emptiness clings to you like your skin.

Suguru stands across from you, his tall frame outlined by the flickering light. He looks so calm, so composed, as he usually does, but the gentleness in his eyes now holds something deeper, something unreadable. He’s here, bound to you, tied to the Zenin family and all of its darkness and expectations, and it’s a thought that makes your stomach twist with guilt.

You can barely look at him as he steps closer, and the silence stretches, each heartbeat a drumbeat of regret echoing in your mind. How you could let things get this far, why did your weakness led you to this night where Suguru is forced to bear a burden that should have never been his? And all of this while he looks so handsome in that dark blue suit.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” you finally murmur, your voice small, almost inaudible.

The words tremble out of you as a flood of emotions swells within, too much to keep contained. Your voice breaks as you continue.

“Suguru, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t want this for you.”

“(Y/n),” he says softly, reaching out to you, his hand hovering just above your shoulder as if asking permission to comfort you.

You close your eyes, ashamed, willing yourself not to break down, not to let him see just how torn apart you feel. But his hand gently settles on your shoulder, and it’s enough to dissolve whatever flimsy resolve you had left.

A sob escapes before you can stop it, and the weight of everything, your father, the impossible expectations, the years of feeling like not being good enough and now this forced bond, comes crashing down. Your knees start to give way, and you sink to the floor, unable to hold it in anymore.

“I never wanted this for you,” you whisper between shallow breaths, looking down as you feel tears streak down your face.

“You deserve…you deserve someone better, someone who doesn’t drag you into this horrible family, into this endless cycle of cruelty and control. I should have stopped you, I should have trained harder, should have been…better…”

Suguru kneels beside you, one hand gently resting on your back as the other moves to tilt your face up to his. His touch is tender, his gaze unwavering, and he watches you as if you’re the only person in the world who matters.

“I chose this,” he says firmly, his voice steady, a calm assurance anchoring every word.

“(Y/n), you have to understand that I’m here because I want to be here. I’m not doing this because of your father, or even for him. I did this because I couldn’t stand the thought of you suffering any longer. Because I… I’ve wanted to be by your side for a long time.”

The intensity of his words shakes you into a completely different direction. You blink hasty against the coat of tears in your eyes, stunned as his confession begins to sink in. Him…wanting to be by your side for a long time?

“I’ve loved you for years, (y/n),” he continues, his voice softer now, but still steady.

“I don’t know when it started. Maybe it was the way you never gave up, even when everyone seemed to be against you, or maybe it was the way you always cared about others, even if they couldn’t see it. You have this strength that you don’t even realize. And I fell in love with that strength, with your kindness, your resilience. I fell in love with you.”

Suguru’s words hang in the air, filling the quiet with an overwhelming warmth. Your mind races, trying to comprehend what he’s saying, how he could feel that way, how he could possibly think of you with such admiration. Is it a cruel joke, a nightmare, maybe? How could a man like Suguru Geto ever love someone like you? You can’t meet his gaze, your heart pounding, his confession echoing in your mind.

“You…you’re saying that you…”

The words falter, disbelief woven through them. You’ll never be good enough for a man like him. You, the lousiest member of the Zenin clan, a grade 3 sorcerer while he’s a special grade. Him who is popular wherever he goes, who has countless girls secretly keeping up with his tracks while you always lived in the shadows back at jujutsu high.

He…he loves you?

“Yes,” he whispers, his thumb gently brushing a stray tear from your cheek.

“I’ve dreamed of being with you, (y/n). I wished for a future together, one where we could be together without any of this mess, without your father’s interference, without any expectations from anyone but ourselves. I wanted us to grow into that future slowly, to experience life together on our own terms. But maybe fate had something else in mind.”

His words are steady, but there’s a hint of sorrow in them, an echo of the hope for something simpler, something kinder. You can see that he had imagined a different path for the two of you, one free of constraints and family legacies, a journey that would’ve let him show you his love in its purest form.

“But Suguru,” you begin, choking back the tears.

“This family, my family, will try to use you. They’ll see your strength and skill as a means to control, a way to fulfill their ambitions. They’ll tie you to this name, weigh you down with the same expectations they forced on me. The only reason for our marriage is the fact that they expect my future children to fill the void my uselessness left.”

Suguru’s gaze hardens slightly, a flicker of defiance breaking through his usual calm.

“Let them try. I’m not afraid of the Zenin family. I don’t want you to worry about that. And if they think they can manipulate me, they’re wrong.”

His hand finds yours, fingers lacing together with a gentle squeeze.

“I am here because I want to be here. Not because I owe them anything, or because I’m part of their plan, let alone because I pity you. And no matter what they say or do, my loyalty is to you, and you alone.”

A wave of emotion surges up in your chest again, but this time it’s not guilt or shame. It’s relief, gratitude, and a kind of hesitant joy that Suguru’s love is real, not just something forced by circumstance. You gaze down at your entwined hands, gaping at the warmth of his skin, the reassurance in his touch and a new sense of calm fills the room.

“Can you forgive me?” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

“For dragging you into this mess, for… everything?”

Suguru’s hand lifts to cup your face, his fingers tracing your jaw with a softness you never experienced before.

“There’s nothing to forgive. If anything, you gave me a way to protect you, a chance to stand beside you. I can’t think of anything I’d want more.”

Slowly, he leans forward, his forehead resting gently against yours, and you close your eyes, feeling the weight of his presence, the steady rhythm of his breathing matching your own. The world outside slowly but surely fades away, leaving only the two of you, together in this fragile, newfound peace.

“(Y/n),” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin.

“Let’s make this ours. This life, this future… we can shape it however we want. Let’s find happiness on our terms, not theirs.”

Tears spill over again, but this time, they’re different - softer, lighter, filled with joy instead of dread. It’s as if Suguru’s words have lifted something from you, a burden that you’d carried for too long. For the first time, you allow yourself to imagine a future without fear, a future where you and Suguru can build something beautiful together.

You nod slowly, still overwhelmed, but there’s a quiet strength blooming inside you, the beginnings of hope.

“I’d like that,” you whisper.

“I’d like that a lot.”

Suguru’s arms wrap around you ever so gently, pulling you close, his embrace steady and unwavering. You allow yourself to relax against him, finally surrendering to the comfort he offers, allowing yourself to feel safe in his arms. Oh, it feels so much better than it did those countless times in you imagination. Not even in your dreams, you allowed yourself the dangerous thought of being by his side. And now? Now this man is your husband, not because he has to, but because he wanted to.

Minutes pass, the silence comfortable, his fingers gently running through your hair as he holds you. Finally, you pull back slightly, meeting his gaze, and you can’t help but notice the faint smile on his lips - a smile that seems to hold promises, a shared understanding that goes beyond words.

“We’ll take this one step at a time,” he says. We’ll face whatever comes our way together. I don’t care what your father or the Zenin clan throws at us. They don’t define us.”

You nod, a faint smile breaking through the lingering sadness.

“I think I’m starting to believe that too…Maybe.”

Suguru’s smile widens, and he presses a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before he pulls back.

“We’ll make it work,” he assures you, his voice a soothing balm to your soul.

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[punksyeet]

ᰔᩚ Distance ᰔᩚ

Plot: A glimpse into a day in the life of Gianna (OC) when her man is on the road.

Warning: Mature language & over-the-phone smut!

It's 2pm and, since I had a heavy breakfast, I'm currently making a fruit bowl for lunch.

Josh always makes me these when he's home and not on the road, so I decided to make it to kinda bring me some comfort with him being gone.

For context, it's WrestleMania weekend, and he has a match tomorrow for the first night, as well as tonight for SmackDown, so he's been on the road a little extra lately.

Despite how proud I am of him, since a match against his twin brother has always been a dream for them both, it doesn't make me miss him any less.

As I finish chopping some pineapple, I throw the scraps away and hear my phone ding, signaling that I got a text message.

I wash my hands, tap on the screen, and smile as I read.

Joshua 🤍: Hi baby

My Lady ♥️: Hi lovebug <3

Joshua 🤍: How'd you sleep?

My Lady ♥️: Okay. Not nearly as good as I do when you're here.

Joshua 🤍: I know baby. Me too. But we'll be back together soon okay?

My Lady ♥️: Okay 🥲🫶🏽

Joshua 🤍: I miss you lots mama ❤️

My Lady ♥️: I miss you more 🤍

Joshua 🤍: Impossible

My Lady ♥️: Shh it's possible

Joshua 🤍: Hmm yeah? Prove it.

Smirking and raising an eyebrow, I send him some videos and pictures I took last night in my brand new lingerie.

I leave the audio on, which is filled with moans and me whimpering his name.

He'll definitely enjoy these.

My Lady ♥️: [Attachment: 2 videos, 3 images]

Joshua 🤍: Holy fuck

My Lady ♥️: I win 😏

Joshua 🤍: Damn right you do ma 😮‍💨

Joshua 🤍: When did you get that set?

My Lady ♥️: Yesterday at the mall. Do you like it?

Joshua 🤍: I love it baby. You look so sexy. I can't wait to see it on you in person when I get home.

My Lady ♥️: Thank you baby 🥹

Joshua 🤍: [Attachment: 1 image]

Joshua 🤍: Look what you do to me 👀

I'm practically drooling at the sight of his boner very visible in his black sweatpants.

I bite my lip before replying.

My Lady ♥️: Ugh I need that inside me right about now 😩

Joshua 🤍: Mmm soon enough baby ❤️

My Lady ♥️: I miss you so much :(

Joshua 🤍: I miss you too beautiful. And I love you. More than anything. 🫶🏽

My Lady ♥️: I love you too <3

Joshua 🤍: Alright I have a promo with Jon in a few so I gotta go fix this new issue I have in my pants. I'll call you later, okay?

My Lady ♥️: LOL sounds good baby. I'll be watching. 🤍

Joshua 🤍: I know you will babygirl ❤️

You loved "I know you will babygirl ❤️"

Ugh this man drives me crazy.

I set my phone down and continue making my fruit bowl.

Once I'm finished, I take everything out to the backyard and sit at the table.

I unlock my phone and open the kickoff show YouTube stream to my man's entrance music.

He's dressed in a blue YEET crop top, matching glasses, black sweatpants, white air forces, his silver Cuban link chain, and fan bracelets.

I pop a piece of watermelon in my mouth and smile, as he comes out onto the stage and the crowd goes wild.

He's so over with the crowd it's crazy.

I'm so happy for and proud of him. <3

A few minutes have gone by and the promo is coming to a close.

"Tomorrow night," he begins. "Jimmy and Jey. Tomorrow night we stand on business. Man, tomorrow night, you boutta catch this yeet-down."

The crowd follows up his quote with a "YEET!"

"And if you want Jimmy Uso to catch this yeet-down," he continues. "Then lemme hear you say YEET!"

The crowd, once again, answers him with "YEET!" and cheers as his music plays.

I smile and clap my hands, feeling extra proud of him.

I love Jon like a brother, but I just know my man has this match in the bag.

I decide to shoot him a quick little text:

Me: You killed that shit baby. So proud of you! 🥹🤍

I finish up my fruit and, as I'm washing out the bowl, my phone rings. I smile when I see it's from my best friend and Josh's sister in law, Trinity.

G: Hey Trin!

T: Hey babygirl! How are you?

G: I'm good! Just finished watching the guys' promo. You?

T: Ugh me too girl. I'm nervous but, no matter who comes out on top, they're gonna kill it tomorrow.

I smile, nodding in agreement.

G: Agreed! So what's up with you?

T: Not much, girl. I actually called to invite you over. I'm feeling pretty lonely without Jon here and I'd imagine you're feeling the same way about Josh.

I let out a deep sigh.

G: Girl you have no idea.

She giggles.

T: Come over then! We can go in the pool, take some cute pictures, and spend some time together. That way we can keep them off our minds for a bit.

I smile and dry off the bowl.

G: Sounds like a plan girlfriend. I'll be over in about an hour or so.

She squeals and claps her hands.

T: Period! I'll see you soon babe!

We say our goodbyes and I head upstairs to shower and get ready.

I decide on a simple yellow cheeky bikini, throw a tube top and denim shorts over it, then head out.

—————————————————————————————————

I've been over at Trin's for a few hours now.

Our reason for hanging out has been quite the success: while I still miss Josh a ton, she's been keeping my mind off of it.

We decided to order in our favorite Chinese takeout and tune into SmackDown.

Specifically, Josh and his little brother Joseph aka Solo Sikoa’s match.

As my man is about to pin him, Jon comes running in from beside the ring, stopping the count.

I sigh and take a bite of my sesame chicken as Trin sucks her teeth. "He's so messy and for what?"

I shake my head letting out a soft giggle. "Girl that's your man. You're allowed to support him, I'll be okay."

She playfully shoves my arm and we share a laugh, before the crowd's cheering gets our attention and we turn back to the TV.

The camera pans to Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins running out to the ring.

Eventually, they make it and fight off Jon and Solo, saving my man.

A soft smile appears on my face as Josh climbs to the top rope and delivers an Uso Splash to his twin.

"Girl," Trin says breathlessly, before taking a sip from her wine glass. "This rivalry got me all the way fucked up."

I nod in agreement. "Amen to that. Hopefully after tomorrow they can just hug it out and make up."

She nods and we share a laugh, then proceed to watch the rest of the show.

After another few hours of watching our favorite romcoms, eating, and sharing laughs, it's past midnight and I decide to head home.

"Alright boo," Trin says, leaning against my window once I'm in my car safely. "Drive safely and please text me once you get home."

"I will," I reply, and we share yet another hug through the window. "I love you."

"I love you too babygirl," she exclaims.

We say our goodbyes and I head off.

About 15 minutes into driving, my phone rings and reveals that Josh is FaceTiming me.

I smile, connect my phone to bluetooth, prop it up so that he can see me, and answer.

His gorgeous face pops up on my screen.

He seems to be laid in his hotel room bed, with his arm propped behind his head.

G: "Hi lovebug."

J: "Hey babygirl. Where you headed at this time of night?"

G: "Home. I was at Trin's place for a while. We had a pool day and watched the show together."

J: "Aw that sounds nice."

I smile while stopping at a red light and lift up my arms to stretch, yawning in the process.

He smiles, just sitting there watching me.

J: "Tired mama?"

G: "Exhausted. I can't wait to take a shower and sleep."

He lets out a chuckle.

J: "I bet. I wish I was there to help you relax."

G: "Me too baby. I miss you."

J: "I miss you more ma. But I'll be home before you know it."

I nod, giving him a soft smile and turning onto our block.

Soon enough, I park my car in our driveway and head into the house, locking the door behind me.

I shoot Trin a text while still on the phone with Josh:

Gigi 💗: Hey sis. I just made it home. 🤍

Trin 🥰🫶🏽: Good to hear girl. It was so good seeing you today. ❤️

Gigi 💗: Same here. Love you! 🫶🏽

Trin 🥰🫶🏽: Love you too! Sleep well. 🥰

You loved “Love you too! Sleep well. 🥰”

I smile and close my tabs, going back to the FaceTime with my man.

Assuming he's getting ready for a shower, he peels his shirt off, revealing his gorgeously toned torso and perfectly caramel colored tattooed skin.

Fuck I miss that body so badly.

He must've caught me lacking, because he smirks and raises an eyebrow.

J: "You like what you see, baby?"

I bite my lip, nodding.

G: "You know I do. I miss having that body all to myself every night."

J: "Who says you can't?"

I raise an eyebrow, clearly confused, before he continues.

** tiny smut warning! **

J: "Get those clothes off and lay down for me, mama."

I bite my lip and stare at the screen for a second as he sexily pulls down his sweats and boxers, allowing his dick to spring free.

I prop up my phone so that he can see me and slowly peel off my clothes as well.

He begins to get hard and strokes himself at the sight of my now naked body.

J: "Fuck baby. Your body...the things it does to me...you're so dangerous."

I sit on my knees and massage my breasts, sticking out my tongue and allowing my saliva to drip onto them.

J: "Good girl baby. Play with those tits for daddy. You know just what I like."

After a few minutes of this, we move onto my lower half.

"F-fuck daddy! Just like that!" I moan, my head thrown back, pumping my fingers in and out of my hole.

Josh moans along with me, stroking his now wet hand from the base to the tip of his dreamy dick, never taking his eyes off of me.

J: "I want you to cum for daddy. Let go. Can you do that for me?"

"U-uh huh," I reply, my fingers still at work, except now they're making rapid circles on my clit.

J: "Use your words for daddy, baby."

"Y-yes daddy!" I utter out in between moans, slowly but surely reaching my climax.

J: “Good girl.”

Just seconds later, I feel a pit in my stomach.

“D-daddy! I’m so fucking close!” I practically scream.

J: “Cum for daddy, baby. Gimme that shit.”

My body jerks as warm, white liquid pours out of me and onto the bed.

J: "Pick up your phone baby. Daddy wants to watch all that cum spill out of your pretty lil pussy."

I do as he says and, soon enough, I've made a huge mess all over our sheets.

And as if on cue, he hits his climax as well.

** smut over! **

"Fuck," I whisper breathlessly, laying back and panting like a nut job.

I can hear deep breaths coming through his side of the phone as well.

J: "You did so well for me baby. And once I get home, it's gonna be even sweeter."

I nod, my mouth still hanging open.

He chuckles and cleans up his mess, as I quickly change our sheets and get ready for my shower.

"I'm gonna get in the shower and hop in bed," I exclaim, my voice just above a whisper. "I'll call you in the morning?"

He nods. "Sounds good, mama. Go get some rest. I love you."

I give him a soft smile. "I love you too, baby. Good night."

We say our goodbyes and he even kisses me through the phone, causing me to giggle before we hang up.

I toss my phone aside and head into the bathroom.

I take a steaming hot everything shower, do my nighttime skin care, brush my teeth, all of that.

Once finished, I climb into bed and tuck myself under the covers.

I reach over and grab one of Josh's pillows from his side of the bed and snuggle it.

It smells heavenly - just like him.

The scent brings me automatic comfort, and within minutes, I drift off to sleep.

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[gallusneve]

[chairofchaos]

them: is this the hill you want to die on?

me: no, but it’s where I’ll leave your corpse

[youngblood-valkyrie]

Prepare... for unforseen consequences...

[babacontainsmultitudes]

[just venting a bit into the void you understand you understand 😌] Lately I've been feeling very caught between "I have a lot of thoughts on Sparrow and Normal and all that with the ending and teen talk and feel like I need to get them out and voice them for my own piece of mind and resolution" and "I am lacking the strength and energy to actually sit down and write it all out and kind of really just want to fully move on to other things (AUs, fics, anything else)" but my brain can't seem to commit to either and that's quite frustrating cause it's just left me very restless. *Sigh*. Idk! Just needed to complain about that a bit ig, it's silly but this is what has been ailing me as of late.

[writing-good-vibes]

you know what they say about dead men

ever wondered why corey has daddy issues? look no further. another instalment of the road trip, at last, just in time for the one year ends anniversary !! divider by @/firefly-graphics

WARNINGS for corey cunningham x michael myers relationship, age difference, smut, unsafe kink practices, alcohol consumption, mentions of daddy issues, and mild mentions of unhappy/unstable childhood, implied child abuse and dysfunctional parental relationships.

taglist: @slutforstabbings @ethanhoewke @voxmortuus (if anyone else wants to be tagged in corey related things, just let me know !!)

Wally Cunningham is dead; mangled in a motorcycle crash in 1999, leaving behind a wife and son. Corey had carried that with him since he was old enough to ask why he didn't have a daddy like the kids at school did.

Joan chose the details carefully, spinning a cautionary tale about how dangerous the world was, how his daddy wasn't smart enough to keep out of trouble, how it's so much better for Corey to stay at home, safe and sound, with her. To stay at home where she can look after him. And Corey believed her, for a while anyway. Why wouldn't he?

In a dirty dive bar in Florida, Corey is finishing his fourth beer of the night before ordering another one. Michael sits stoically beside him, his gaze focused impossibly on the mirror behind the bar from beneath the trucker hat pulled low over his eyes.

Beneath the sound of shouts and jeers and idle chatter, the AC unit rattles steadily, keeping only some of the balmy heat at bay. Corey sweats, curls sticking at his temples and an itch working it's way down his nape, but he he doesn't take his cord jacket off.

"Hey, Wally," someone shouts. It's not an uncommon name, especially for men of a certain age. There's probably a handful of Walters and Wallaces in this bar alone, right?

Still, Corey glances over his shoulder, taking a long swig from his new beer.

The man who shouted had just arrived, and in the time it took Corey to turn around, he's snaked his way through the throngs of patrons to a table in the corner. He claps an older man heartily on the shoulder as he sits down.

Corey's jaw drops, and he dribbles some of his beer down himself.

The older man -- and he does look old, these days -- is startlingly familiar. Corey would know him anywhere, he's seen him a thousand times over in his dreams. He still has a beard, though it has long since greyed. He's wearing a bandana tied over long, equally grey hair. A motorcycle jacket is slung over the back of his seat. Of course he has a motorcycle jacket.

Corey wipes the beer from his chin and tells himself to stop staring, but he can't help it. Corey doesn't believe in ghosts, besides the ones that live in his head, but there's no other explanation for what he's seeing. No explanation that he's got the guts to take.

Because Wally Cunningham is dead. He was mangled in a motorcycle accident in 1999, leaving behind his wife and son. Corey has carried that with him every day of his life. He dealt with the school yard teasing and pushed the grief of every empty father's day deep down. He managed just fine when he learnt to tie his own tie and how to shave on his own. He managed just fine when Momma married Ronald and they all played happy families for a while until the precarious honeymoon phase passed. Corey has managed just fine.

So why is Wally Cunningham sat in a dive bar in Florida, laughing and joking, like he hasn't been dead for more than 20 fucking years.

For a split second, something like elation passes through Corey. That's his dad. His dad who was an All-American man. Who fought in Vietnam. Who would of taught Corey how to ride a trike, and then a bike, and then maybe even a motorcycle when he got old enough. Who would have played catch with him in the yard and coached him to join the baseball team. Who would have made Momma loosen her grip. "You can't keep your eyes on him every second, Joan. Let the boy live," his dad would have said. His dad who had loved him and it was just a terrible, tragic accident that tore them apart.

But then those familiar, safe daydreams fade, like smoke on the breeze. Like they'd never existed at all. His dad is alive, and he hasn't seen Corey in over 20 fucking years.

Without thinking, Corey gets up, leaving Michael sat on his own at the bar. In his haste, desperate not to lose sight of the old man at the table in the corner, Corey forgets to put his beer down, and his knuckles clench white against the glass.

"Wally Cunningham?" his voice is pitifully hopefully. It feels like a betrayal.

Wally turns away from his friends, a congregation of similarly aged-looking bikers with bandanas and bruised knuckles, and looks up at Corey, scowling. "Who's asking, kid?"

Corey swallows thickly around the growing grief in his throat, "I'm Corey."

Wally raises an eyebrow. For a long, disgusting moment Corey can see that his name doesn't ring a bell. The dots aren't connecting.

Until they do. "Corey? God, haven't you grown." Wally looks him up and down, taking in the sight before him. Corey wasn't vain, especially not now, but he has to resist the urge to shrink under his father's narrowed eyes. His hair is a little shaggy since he hasn't got around to trimming it lately, his thrift-store jeans are forever the wrong size, and his tarnished silver belt buckle glints just barely under the smoke-hazy bar lights.

"Well, it's been 23 years." 23 years of mourning only to find that the coffin was empty all along.

Wally nods in muted agreement. "What are you doing here?"

Wally's reserved reaction feels like the single spark that starts a bonfire, drawing in oxygen while Corey struggles to breath. "I should be asking you that. Momma told me you were dead, she said that you died."

Wally has the guts to chuckle, "She did? That doesn't surprise me, she always was fucking nuts. Well, boy, I'm still kicking"

His friends laugh along, but otherwise stay out of it. When Corey thinks about this conversation later -- and he will be thinking about it later, turning it over and over obsessively until he does something stupid over it -- he'll wonder how many of them knew Wally had a son at all. If he ever mentioned the life he'd left behind in Illinois, or if he wiped the slate clean with each state line he crossed. Just like Corey did nowadays.

Corey shakes his head as he connects his own dots, "You're not dead. You're not -- you've been alive this whole time."

Wally tries to be warm, but it doesn't suit him, "Not the brightest bulb in the box, are we? I guess you must take after me, son."

Corey's deep scowl says otherwise; Wally can see Corey is very much Joan's boy. He always was. "You left us, me and Momma."

"Son, your mother told me to leave, so I did. That marriage was a mistake, it's a good job I left her when I did, or I don't know how it would have ended, but it'd wouldn't have been good, I can tell you that --"

"You left me!" Corey shouts, cringing when his voice breaks. "You didn't just walk out on Momma, you walked out on me, didn't you?" His fingers tighten even more around the beer bottle, just a little tighter and --

Suddenly, Corey feels a presence behind him. He knows it's Michael, knows his outrage must of have stirred him from his thoughts and led him over, eager -- if Michael could ever be described as eager -- to be close by in case Corey makes a scene.

Michael clamps a hand down on his shoulder, pulling him away from Wally by a couple of paces. The friends sat around his table shift uneasily in Michael's hulking, scarred presence, a fact Corey revels in as he leans back into Michael's touch. His fingers loosen on the beer bottle.

There's a tense moment of silence as the reality of this strange situation settles over them all. It reminds him of the tabloid shows Momma used to watch when he was little, the ones she shooed him out of the room for: Long lost son, meet absent father.

Finally, "This a friend of yours?" Wally gestures.

Friend. Corey's lip curls into a smirk, "He's my --"

What exactly is Michael? Boyfriend sounds too juvenile, and lover too tender. Daddy crosses his mind, as a sick little dig, or my old man. He doesn't think any of those would go down too well here, though. Partner is ambiguous, but too formal. Accomplice is fitting, very fitting, but he can't go around saying things like that in public. Cult leader is what it feels like sometimes, but a bit too grandiose for their current predicament.

"Yeah, this is Michael," Corey settles on. The pause he used to gather his thoughts was loud though, and something like doubt crosses Wally's face. But he was never fucking there, so he can go fuck himself if he thinks his opinion matters now. He can think what he likes, for all Corey cares -- and oh god, he cares, he cares so fucking much it makes him sick. Wally's probably right though, in one way or another.

"So, what are you doing in this neck of the woods? You left Illinois?" Wally tries again.

Illinois is so far behind them in the rear view mirror that it scares him sometimes, but Corey is headed West, and he isn't stopping -- for anything or anyone -- until he reaches the very end of the line. "We're just passing through," Corey shrugs.

They talk for a while, but Corey doesn't sit down at Wally's table. He doesn't accept a drink when someone goes for another round. He sneers instead of laughs when Wally's friends try to crack jokes. He stays stood in front of Michael, leaning just slightly against him when Michael takes his hand off his shoulder. Michael doesn't complain, doesn't move, just listens silently to the faux-casual conversation going on in front of him. Waiting.

Against his already-scarce better judgement, Corey does agree to stay in town for a few days and meet Wally again tomorrow. They have a lot of catching up to do.

Corey doesn't believe in ghosts, but still doesn't shake Wally's hand when he offers it, scared of what it might feel like. So, instead he smirks, a crooked gesture, and turns to leave, taking Michael with him.

The motel room is quiet and dim, the nicotine-stained bedside lamp casting a sickly yellow glow over the pair while the corners of the room stay shrouded in darkness. A safe and secret place to hide away.

Corey talks and talks, half to himself and half to Michael, wanting to purge every little thought in his head until there's nothing left.

"I don't fucking need him, I never needed him! I never needed him. I don't fucking -- oh fuck -- i got by fine, didn't I? That fucking piece of shit, never fucking needed him. I wish he really was dead, dead in the fucking ground. We should -- that's what we should do, I'm gonna -- please -- And who does he think he is? Talking to me like he didn't fucking walk out on me, on his baby. Can you imagine leaving a baby all alone? Leaving me with Momma. And he didn't even care -- he never fucking cared! -- didn't care that she was gonna swallow me whole. And he knew, he fucking knew, how bad M-Momma was and he s-s-still left me. He ne-ever loved me, did he? Because you wouldn't leave someone like that if you loved them. He never... he never... Why didn't he love me?"

Corey's talk turns into tearful babbles even as he keeps rocking his hips down against Michael's upward thrusts, fucking himself past the point of stupid. Rage and grief gnawing such a deep, deep pit in his stomach that he wants it filled immediately. Wants to fill it with the type of pain-pleasure that Michael delivers without even trying. Wants to choke on it, hot and heavy and ruinous.

But who was Corey kidding? The gaping black hole inside him wasn't new, it hadn’t been gouged out by tonight’s revelations. No, no it had been there for as long as he could remember, and it was Wally who had carved it out, taking it with him when he left and leaving Corey wanting.

"Doesn't matter, anyway. I don't care -- I don't -- I don't fucking need anyone. 'Cause I've got you, right? No one ever gave a shit about me, but I'm still here. I - I don't need them. Don't need anyone. I fucking saved myself. No, no, you saved me. And it's just me and you and we're gonna -- it's gonna be -- You'll never leave me, right? Please don't leave me, please don't -- I wanna be with you. I wanna... You wouldn't leave me. No, no, no, not like him, you're not like him -- you're more of a man than he'll ever be, and you're a fucking monster... Oh, god -- FUCK -- Oh, you can keep me forever and ever and ever and --"

Michael pushes him down onto his back. Corey chokes on a gasp as the angle changes and Michael sets a new, more ruthless pace. Ploughing into him -- too hard and too fast and too much -- as Corey's mouth stops working, his grief-stricken rambles melting into moans.

This happens sometimes, Michael losing patience when Corey runs his mouth, but usually Corey has enough sense to know when shut up. Corey's on the edge and he knows that Michael knows that, knows it when a rough, scarred hand closes around his throat, pressing dangerously on either side of his windpipe.

Corey sucks in a breath until he can't anymore.

The motel room is quiet and dark, once Corey reaches over to shut off the lamp.

He's still sniffling quietly, his sweaty skin sticking to Michael's as he arranges the older man's arms around his shoulders. Michael keeps them there limply, silently, as Corey wraps himself around him.

Abandonment feels so much worse than grief ever had. Wally wasn't dead, he just never wanted Corey. Wally wasn't dead, Corey just wasn't good enough.

Corey's fingers clench. There's a knife on the nightstand, and in his duffle, and one tossed onto the floor along with his clothes. His fingers relax. There's a snub-nose .38 revolver in the glove compartment of their truck.

"He'd deserve it, wouldn't he?" Corey mutters, "Just like she did..." He blinks up at Michael through wet lashes.

Michael doesn't say anything.

He agrees, Corey decides, smiling.

[risingsunresistance]

A SECOND SHINKO UPLOAD HAS HIT THE HYPIXEL NETWORK!

[minhmynchi]

its 4 am and well, im not doomscrolling but i have thoughts lol... i should turn them off and go back to sleep

[coquelicoq]

wow. they weren't lying that 19 portland mayoral candidates sure can underwhelming

[fullmetall]

i like thinking abt pre-canon ed but i also like thinking abt post-canon ed a lot

[cantdanceflynn]

IK I HAVENT DRAWN IN FOREVER BTW IM WORKING ON CATCHING UP

[narugen-moved]

need to write more narumina i’ve been converted