#which i thought was hilarious at first but actually. he kind of has a point??

[coquelicoq]

wow. they weren't lying that 19 portland mayoral candidates sure can underwhelming

[hauntingrabbits]

More Batman/My Little Pony au art because these are ridiculously fun to draw. Part 3 here! Part 1 here!

More info under the cut!

1. Sweet Talk/The Harlequin (Harleen Quinzel)

Originally contracted to work as a psychiatrist for the Tartarus villain redemption program, Sweet Talk had a unique relationship with the Joker. This relationship was proven to be even stranger than her coworkers had originally assumed when she broke him out and joined him in his life of crime.

Devoting herself entirely to her new life and relationship with the joker, she covers her original cutie mark at all times. Snce her horn was snapped she can no longer cast precise spells, leaving her magic mostly emotion-based and intensely volatile, (typically manifesting in the form of sparks, zaps, and explosions).

Other Notes:

-Using Tartarus as a substitute for Arkham Asylum for this au because why not.

-The villain redemption program did NOT go well. Sorry Twilight.

-Mostly based on BTAS Harley because I adore the original costume.

-Her horn was cracked by the Joker

2. Pudding Pie/The Joker (The Joker)

Batpony’s most notorious foe. Said to have been just a regular pony until he fell into a vat at an Ace Potions factory during a conflict with Batpony.

He doesn’t have a Cutie Mark, but it’s unclear whether this was always the case or instead a result of his accident. The effects of permanent Cutie Mark loss—the only known cases of which occurred via long-banned magic and/or traumatic injury—are largely unstudied, and it’s ramifications are unknown. Some ponies theorize this may be the reason for the Joker’s mental state and general disposition.  

Sundown has a different opinion on the matter.

Other notes:

-Based mostly on BTAS joker and the ‘89 Nicholson joker.

-His name is just based on Harley’s “pudding” nickname for in in a lot of versions, but I think it would also be hilarious if he was a distant relative of Pinkie Pie.

-I could leave it ambiguous but. Yeah the potion vat didn’t actually do anything beyond slightly altering his physical appearance. He’s just like that and he never got a cutie mark in the first place.

3. Gadiel/Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane)

Raised among ponies, Gadiel was relentlessly bullied for being gangly and birdish, earning him the nickname “Scarecrow” in his youth. Though he later successfully became a professor and psychologist in Gotham, Gadiel was eventually fired when he was found to be testing his fear-inducing potions on his students and purposefully putting them through terrifying and dangerous situations. Deciding to take his experiments to the masses, Gadiel donned the mantle of Scarecrow and weaponized fear to become a career criminal.

As the Scarecrow, he’s known for his skill in manipulation, psychological torture, and crafting dangerous potions and gas. The effects of fear on magical creatures are unique and intense, much to Gadiel’s delight and interest.

Other Notes:

-I wanted to make his front half a crane but I couldn’t get the long neck to work right with the mask, so he’s more crow-like instead.

-according to the wiki 1/3 of Griffin names start with a G so naturally I was extremely tempted to name him Gonathon and you should all be very grateful I did not. The name Gadiel has origins in the bible as the name of an archangel which I thought was fitting given the insane religious trauma some versions of the scarecrow went through. I thought about trying to do something similar for this version but given that the mlp universe uses Princess Celestia as a replacement for God in expressions like “Celestia knows where” and “Oh my Celestia” I wasn’t really sure how to go about it. There’s probably some kind of sun-worshipping thing in equestria idk.

-I spent a long time on the mlp wiki but from what I could find the only “fear” magic in the show is just used by one guy and its just called “dark magic”. I thought for sure there would’ve been some random plant or magical creature they dealt with at some point that maybe did something similar I could use for his blurb but unfortunately there was not.

4. Mandible/Falseface (Basil Karlo/Matt Hagen)

Hungry and deeply resentful of the changeling queen for forcing her underlings to share what little stolen love they had with her, Mandible went rogue early on and split off from the hive to pursue his own ventures. Finding success under the name Claypose as a pony actor in Gotham, he was sustained primarily by the one-sided love of his fans for years, despite the false identity having no real prior personal relationships to leech from. 

After a magical special effects accident on set revealed his true nature, he went into hiding and immediately started crafting a new persona, but soon found in his distress and rage over losing his identity as Claypose that he could no longer sustain any disguise long enough to keep up a long-term facade. Blaming the accident, he targeted the unicorn responsible by posing as his wife to leech his love, but ended up killing the pony in a panic when his disguise failed much faster than he’d anticipated it would. Unable to keep up a new identity or return to the hive, Mandible turned to a life of crime instead, doing dirty work for the bigger criminal names in Gotham and leeching love from his employer’s targets to survive.

Other notes:

-Clayface being a changeling was an obvious pick given his power set but I really wasn’t sure how to tackle the main issue of him being unable to keep a solid form for long. I went with his distress and frustration being the main thing keeping his disguise flimsy (so he gets put in kind of an ourobouros cycle where his disguise being bad makes him upset but him being upset makes it harder to fix his disguise), but the magic accident probably also contributed somehow.

-Why are all the changelings straight up just named after body parts in this show whats that about. The “Clay” in Claypose is obviously a reference to his title/schtick in the comics while the “pose” comes from both his job as an actor and the fact that he’s posing as a pony. Mandible is the name for the jaw part of an insect.

-there's actually an entirely different batman villain called falseface in the '66 series but I couldn't come up with anything better. Changeface just does not roll off the tongue.

3. Winglon/Killer Drake (Waylon Jones)

Originally intended to be used in an entrance exam, his egg was stolen from a Canterlot delivery cart on its way to Celestia’s school of magic and sold on the black market to a Pony Island circus. Raised to be part of the freak show, Winglon was pitted against circus performers and overconfident challengers in ring fights for money and entertainment. Enduring abuse and injury throughout his life from ponies that he was always fundamentally stronger than, it was only a matter of time until he snapped. Garnering the name Killer Drake for his actions, Winglon escaped into the Gotham sewer system.

Not knowing how to return to the dragonlands or whether he’d even fit into dragon society at all, he continues to lurk in the dark away from any life, deeply resenting ponies and all other manner of magical creatures that make friends with them.

Other notes:

-I like silly names ok. Winglon Jones. -I like the theory that the dragon egg used for Twilight’s entrance exam was actually fake/meant to be a no-win scenario, but I also don’t think it would be that hard for enterprising ponies to get their hands on dragon eggs. The practice probably stopped in the later seasons when they made friends with the dragonlands or whatever though.

-Given that dragons threaten to eat or kill ponies at multiple points in the show, the cannibalism is actually kind of understandable. And also not even cannibalism anymore. Still murder though.

[eddywoww]

Steve as part of his college’s library staff. Eddie as an overly tired engineering student who spends every other day killing time in the library before his second class of the day. It’s better than sitting in his car in the heat or the cold and plus, the couches aren’t THAT stuff.

The only problem is he keeps falling asleep on them. Worse than that, he’s pretty sure that all the late nights and energy drinks and fucking numbers are causing him to see things. That or the library is haunted.

Because every single time he passes out on one of the couches, he’s woken up the prettiest boy in the world. He’s so careful about it, nudging Eddie gently by the shoulder and holding a finger to his lips to quiet Eddie. And then he’s gone seconds later and Eddie can never find him. Like a ghost.

His friends think he’s silly, some even think he’s maybe right and is just imagining shit at this point. Lord knows he doesn’t get enough sleep.

The first time he actually meets the boy is a hapless adventure. They’re both at the same club, library boy accidentally spills a drink on Eddie. Apologizes profusely with pink cheeks and tries to dry the stain with his own very tight, non-library-appropriate shirt and Eddie can’t even focus because

“I thought you were a ghost.”

And Steve (that’s how library boy finally introduces himself) looks so confused. He has no clue what Eddie even means and it’s only with some convincing that Eddie can pull a now wary Steve into conversation and explain

And the reaction is hilarious. Eddie expects at least some ridicule or to be made fun of. But Steve turns brighter and starts mumbling.

As it turns out, he isn’t a ghost. He’s just been waking Eddie up and darting away to hide in one of the study rooms. Out of pure nerves, if anything. Which is-

“Do you have a little crush on me? Is that it?”

And Eddie is mostly joking, he is. No way would some like Steve have a crush on HIM. But then the blushing and stammering get worse and Steve can’t even talk and Eddie is kind of the worst kind of foot in mouth idiot, so he goes

“Have you ever done it in the library? The couches aren’t that uncomfortable, you know. Just saying, seems like a missed opportunity.”

Steve goes from pink to red in under a second.

[impishjesters]

Agents of Cat-astrophe

warning(s): none unless you count Jax note(s): This gave me a good chuckle as someone who's consistently dropping more curse words than regular words, I'd imagine the system to just censor anything and everything that comes out of my mouth at that point. A/N: (In response to the requester) I wish I was taking breaks (I mean I am sorta), I'm fully aware I'm running myself ragged right now. But it's hard for me to stop myself... I'm caffeinated and chaotic and I don't wanna stew in my brain for too long. At least I get up and stretch every now and then. Request: Anyways, I’m requesting a Jax x reader (crushing stage) where the reader is sorta at the same level of meanness as Jax and likes to do pranks with him on the other characters. Also the reader’s digital form is a short cat that at first glance makes them look nice/friendly (obviously not an actual cat but yk what I mean), and they have a sailor’s mouth that is unfortunately censored but that doesn’t stop them (can also purr and does so when they’re content which is usually when there chilling in Jax’s room or with Jax in general). I think it would be fun if the reader surprisingly was sorta nicer to Kinger and has a small soft spot for him and does more playful pranks on him than mean/harmful ones.

When you first showed up, you looked so small and frail, like a literal little kitten completely out of place in this big colourful nightmare world

Ragatha thought you’d be like Pomni, and boy howdy was she wrong

You just ended up being another Jax—who you later met and found out was also an agent of chaos

Similarly to Pomni you cursed up a storm when you first arrived and the endless censorship that came with it

You have a knack for testing Caine’s patience when it comes to your sailor’s mouth, much to Jax’s entertainment. It’s not every day Caine loses his cool like that and you’re just a newbie, needless to say, you caught his interest

That sailor’s mouth also gets used towards the other’s and Jax won’t lie and say it’s not funny because shit’s hilarious.

Sure they all curse from time to time, but you just laid out an entire sentence that was completely and utterly censored. Like the system said “fuck this I’m gonna censor the whole damn sentence”

Unlike Jax who doesn’t show any remorse for who he pranks or how cruel they are, you draw the line at messing with Kinger.

Okay, that’s a lie you still mess with him but it’s not like how you mess with the others. Kinger has this sweet unstable dad/grandpa vibe and it kind of makes the place more homey in a weird way. (plus that man has been through enough trauma, give him a break, and talk about his bug collections or some shit)

The upside is that his mind is so scattered sometimes that using the same pranks on him always results in something hilarious. So you really don’t need to try for any new material. (he also really needs to consider actually using the lock on his door, he makes it too easy)

Jax considered you his little partner in crime the more time passed—not exactly a friend nah, but like a good ol pal that also likes to partake in joining him and his bullshittery

The first time he hears you purring is when the two of you are lazing about in his room, he’d gotten distracted collecting things for a prank on someone and heard the loudest rumbling coming from behind him

“Are you fucking purring?”

It’s a little embarrassing at first, you’ve uh, never done that before..

Jax has the biggest shit-eating grin, if he wasn’t using dumb cat-themed nicknames before he sure as hell is now

“Oh, like you don’t stomp your feet like a petulant child you overgrown rabbit.”

He does not stomp his fuckin feet like a temperamental rabbit, thank you very much (that’s a fuckin lie if I ever heard one)

Jax already had mixed feelings about you before, nothing particularly bad, just feelings he couldn’t place…that was until the prank…

He doesn’t know how you did it, or how he got so wrapped up in it. But you pranked him, and you pranked him good.

Oh, oh okay that feeling is new… butterflies don’t typically belong inside your gut, now whether Jax has ever experienced a crush before or not is probably beyond him. But these little butterflies are a bitch and it takes awhile of placing two and two together to realize he’s… caught feelings to some degree

You, however, probably had a crush on him for a while, perhaps really noticing it after the whole purring fiasco when you learned that it only happened around Jax

[cynthiav06]

With Percy, we know that he hates going to school and his goals don’t really line up with Annabeth’s, but Annabeth is kind of forcing him to do it with her because he can’t say no to her. Say Rick didn’t make Annabeth Percy’s entire personality, what do you think he would’ve done in the mortal world rather than go to university?

I was checking my drafts cause I am trying to catch up on all the asks in my inbox ( as I said in one of my earlier posts I was in middle of a medical situation so I have at least a month of backlog) and found this draft.

The funny thing is I had already written most of the post in the draft version, and this ask wasn't even being displayed in my inbox, so I was very confused as to when it was from.

But it's such a good prompt and a sort of controversial question in the fandom, so I wanted to post it asap.

Percy doesn't like studies, but he knows the importance of it, so I am sure he will finish his initial college, probably either in the science or arts section. We know at one point he got better grades than Annabeth at one point so he certainly isn't quitting studies and doing way better than what people expect. He also wouldn't like just staying at home and doing nothing (I am looking at certain Percabeth stans here), so he definitely would be doing one job or another.

1.

I don't think he would study marine biology like most believe. After a conversation I had with someone who had taken the course, I am convinced Percy wouldn't like it. It's heavily based on chemistry, and we know how much Percy is affected by sea creatures being mistreated or caged, so having to study marine biology wouldn't really be something he would choose.

2.

An interesting twist would be if he chose to be a writer like his mother.

We all know that Percy writes or at least dictates and narrates the first five books, which are written and narrated entirely from his perspective. Moreover, there are books on Percy just narrating his own sarcastic takes on Greek gods and Greek heroes. What if he did actually catalogue his own adventures in those books as a sort of manual for other demigods on how to deal with certain monsters and gods and such.

Through Percy's thoughts, even as 12 years old, we can certainly say he has advanced vocabulary despite being dyslexic and given how much he admires Sally, why wouldn't he be interested in following her footsteps. Sure, he has trouble reading, but that's not to say he wouldn't love expressing his thoughts through humorous retelling of his own adventures which he can pass as fiction to normal readers but actual experiences in demigod world. Who doesn't want to know the exploits of Percy Jackson?

Plus, it's a good money hack. And don't for a second tell me he wouldn't. Sally petrified Gabe, and then they sold his statute to a museum as a sculpture and earned money off of that. So Sally would definitely encourage it, and Percy would even follow through on it just for shits and giggles and the added benefit of helping demigods and earning money.

[I literally want this to happen just for the Godly reactions. I am all for god slander, especially Zeus slander. Poseidon would be half laughing at the book and half worried cause of the sheer catastrophes his son seems to fall into almost on a daily basis.

Apollo would be having a grand time, and Hermes will be half depressed and half impressed throughout. Overall, it would be hilarious all around, and it might finally make the gods feel a bit more accountable . It's literally the Reading Percy Jackson Series trope, and that's always fun.]

3.

One other option is that Percy will get into environmental preservation, specifically the protection of Rivers and Seas from pollution by actively involving himself and others in its cleanliness and purification. He would also run Beach cleanliness programs.

I think he and Grover would become environmental activists and would definitely get into preserving forest areas and other places where nature spirits dwell frequently. I can see them doing it a lot, long-term wise, too.

4.

I think he would kind of like marine explorations, but that might cause his powers to be somewhat exposed, so he might not do that, but it's a possibility.

That's all I can think of. I would like to hear everyone else's opinions on this.

[tinykittendelusion]

Seventeen as different tropes

a/n : I've gotten into a book slump again so i thought might as well try something that's going to make me want to read more :)

triggers: mentions of sex or sexual content or indicates sexual behaviour

Scoups

Workplace romance especially billionaire ceo romance where he falls in love with this girl from a small town almost like a typical hallmark movie. he gives very CEO vibes especially like business proposal kang tae moo he loves showering you with love and lots and lots of gifts.

Jeonghan

Opposites attract. I think it would be so cool if jeonghan falls for someone his exact opposite who looks like a troublemaker but is actually very innocent. It would be hilarious when at first she gets blamed for a prank he pulled making him apologise with lots and lots of kisses. Also she'd be the only person with whom he won't cheat while playing games?!

Joshua

good boy x bad girl. This is the reverse of the bad boy trope and that suits him so much Joshua is a very good gentlemanly guy until he isn't and then he's this crazy person and he'd naturally be drawn to people who take risks.

Jun

childhood friends to lovers. Honestly after watching exclusive fairytale I feel this is exactly his vibe he's a shy guy so he takes time getting comfortable and since you've known him since childhood he's the most comfortable with you. The comfort of knowing someone through all their stages of life and falling for them.

Hoshi

Enemies to lovers. Hoshi is a sweetheart that everyone knows but he's amazing at teasing people aka seungkwan in gose episodes so him having an enemies to lovers relationship makes so much sense to me. Also hoshi getting angry/pissed would be HOT.

Wonwoo

Aloof couple. Everyone except the both of you know that you both are dating. Together you both are dumb and dumber. After Hoshi accidentally ends up spilling the fact that wonwoo has a crush on you You guys would finally start dating. Both of you would be so shocked to know that the other person actually liked them too.

Woozi

Fated soulmates. Now listen to me woozi is a homebody just like me and sometimes I wish the love of my life would just come to my house and announce his existence. This is exactly what happens when you go to deliver fried chicken completely drenched in the rain and he offers you to stay and dry off before leaving.

Dokyeom

brothers bestfriend. He's your brother's friend so he should be off limits to you but he's so kind so nice and so caring you can't help but fall in love. He doesn't notice you until one day you drunk confess and then suddenly you're all that he can think about.

a/n: very much like the male lead in hidden love (c-drama)

Mingyu

reverse grumpy x sunshine. Oh he falls for the slightly broody introverted nerd. They literally collided into each other when Wonwoo dragged him to this one book convention. He was jealous of how close Wonwoo and you were. Which led to him confessing and you both dating. He absolutely adores the fact that your cute silly side is reserved only for him.

Minghao

hopeless romantic x skeptic Minghao was that person who did not believe in love at first sight cause how do you fall in love without knowing anyone that is until you walked into his life and caused him to fall literally for you. You loved this fact as you were a big romantic person. You'd often watch rom coms together and have discussions on the characters for hours.

Seungkwan

Academic rivals. YES YES YES

the banter would be off the charts. He'd be full on sassy boo who loves winning and y/n would be the same. They'd fight argue and insult each other but would be forced into spending time together and boom he's pinned you to the wall.

Vernon

Second chance. Yes the angst the pain the hurt the NOSTALGIA. everything vernon runs into you in seoul one day and it's decided that he wants you back bonus points if you have a child that he babysits and that child comes to adore him.

a/n: i think I have to cry vernon with kids would be so funny and cute and I WILL CRY

Dino

a/n: i absolutely adore these I lowkey might make all of these into longer fics.

best friends turned enemies turned lovers. the chemistry would be fire you'd both participate in a dance competition as kids but at the last moment you ditched him to dance with your crush years later you both hate each other and it gets worse when you are one of the background dancers in seventeen's world tour.

i made a longer version for dino- here

[vampcubus]

Hi! If your accepting requests would you mind Writing a thing with tanjiro, zentizu, Inosuke, and Kyoujuro (separate) with a reader who is blind? I have very limited vision, to the point with out my very thick glasses I cant cross a street lol. I'd think it be cute to see our favorite boys help my helpless ass lol.

𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : tanjiro, zenitsu, inosuke, and kyojuro.

:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : sfw, the boys being overprotective.

𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐑𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐎

— Tanjiro has found the balance between being caring and being overprotective of you. He’ll never make you feel like you’re delicate or dependent. Always asks permission before guiding you around, but has mini-heart attacks when he sees you doing dangerous things without him.

— If you're a slayer in spite of your blindness, he is immensely impressed! Always complimenting your grace and swordsmanship. He wonders if your other senses have heightened to accommodate your lack of vision.

— Tanjiro is determined to make you as happy as possible, keeping tabs on scents, textures, and sounds that make you smile. And gods does he love your smile. He'll do anything to see it.

— His hand is practically glued to yours 24/7 because he doesn't want to lose track of you in crowds... and the warm weight of your palm in his is comforting. Gets a little panicky if he loses track of you, head jerking from left to right, hopping to see above the crowd in search of your familiar face.

— Tanjiro always finds you though, that boy can sniff you out no matter where you wander off to.

— It's kind of funny when he finally does find you, because you don't look concerned at all, just going about your business like nothing was amiss. He'll sigh deeply through his nose and smile, jogging to catch up to you and take your hand in his again.

"There you are, you sure slipped away from me haha..."

— Pls don't wander off like that.

𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐀

— Anxiety bf that panics when you're out of his sight for more than two seconds, running around like a madman in search of his "poor helpless partner" (even if you're far from helpless)

"Y/N?? SWEETIE, WHERE ARE YOU?" "I'm right here, Zenitsu -_-"

— Actually has a knack for predicting accidents and scouting potential hazards, so he'll casually weave you around dangers without missing a beat in conversation. He'll hear you trip and rush in to keep you from falling just in the knick of time. That super speed comes in handy!

— Definitely takes advantage of your blindness to stare lovingly at you 24/7. Being able to stare at his beautiful partner without consequence? It’s too good to pass up.

— Goes from "let me protect you" to "protect me pls" if he finds out that you're a slayer, clinging onto you whenever you have to hunt demons together. As Zenitsu hardens and becomes less cowardly, he's much easier to work with. You two become so in tune with one another's fighting styles that you often get sent on missions as a pair.

— Zenitsu throws sobbing fits when you get sent on different assignments, worrying the whole time you're apart. What if you tripped and he wasn't there to catch you? What if you got lost and couldn't find your way back to him? He'd die alone!

— Your reunions are always teary (mostly him crying and you stand there confused as to why he's so upset) and snuggle-filled.

"I thought you were dead, my love!" he sobs, and your brows raise. "Your faith in me is sooo inspiring," you sigh, unamused. You pet his hair anyways, letting him cry into your shoulder.

𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐀

— I don't think he'd realize you're blind at first, which I think is fucking hilarious. He's always so confused about why you're missing certain cues and showing no reaction to his body language. He's gotten all up in your face several times just for you to stare at him with a blank expression. Finds you intimidating because of it and backs off.

"(butchered name) is so cool... I CAN'T STAND IT!"

— And then when it clicks that you can't see, he's facepalming so hard. You're not cool you're just blind and can't tell when he's provoking you. No matter, he'll just have to spell it out for you next time.

— If you're a slayer, Inosuke has a great deal of respect for you being able to kick demon butt despite your handicap. Then he thinks you're cool again :)))

— You'll notice that Inosuke holds onto your clothes a lot. Clutches your sleeve and tugs you around, or hangs onto your haori/kimono when you're out and about. He might not seem like the type to be a worry wart, but he is aware that your blindness makes you more vulnerable than others and is determined to be your eyes for you as often as he can. It's an unspoken thing.

— Has some slip-ups where he points at things and says "WOAH LOOK AT THAT!" only to see the strained expression Tanjiro's giving him and your blank one. "Oh right sorry."

— Prepare to be yanked out of the way by the wrist/clothing when danger comes your way. He might not be the most gentle about it, but he doesn't want you to get hurt.

𝐊𝐘𝐎𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐎𝐊𝐔

— Kyojuro is insanely protective of you. Always has an arm locked with yours at all times to guide you around safely, it's subconscious at this point.

— Obviously, he can't always be there to help you since his Hashira work keeps him away for long periods, something he regrets deeply. He reminds you to always be careful when you have to part ways, and makes you promise not to do anything too dangerous while he's away.

— Oftentimes entrusts you with Senjuro, who is more than happy to be your eyes when Kyojuro can't. Though sometimes even his father can be seen guiding you around the house, looking all soft-like, not that you can see the gentle expression on his face. Kyojuro's heart swells in his chest at the sight of his family taking such good care of his partner.

— He'll bite his tongue if you're a slayer, though even you can tell he wants to say something sometimes. It's not that he finds you to be weak, he's just terrified of losing you. Training loads with him will put his heart at ease a little, being able to see firsthand just how capable you are despite being sightless. He really shouldn't be surprised, Gyomei was blind just as you are, and is the strongest of the Hashira.

— Kyojuro is always placing your hands on his face and kissing your palms, grinning from ear to ear when he makes you giggle successfully.

[itsblasttothepast]

Random Checo Pérez Post

So, I've been a fan of Checo Pérez for years... since the beginning, actually. I'm mexican, I'm older than him (I'm in my 40's, if anyone was wondering) and I particularly follow mexicans in tough sports for our country (like my boy, Donovan Carrillo, killing it in ice skating).

It can be tiring seeing all the hate he gets for every little thing (without couting the racist/xenophobic comments), and I know he's controversial, but he's also human and makes mistakes. Anyway, that's no the point, as a Checo fan, I've been there seeing all the different teams and teammates, and honestly, I kind of want to go back when he was mostly ignored by the press and the media.

I hardly post anything personal in my blog, I mostly reblog and like posts of you awesome people, but now I'm in a ranty mood and want to share my my impressions of his career in F1.

Starting with Sauber, his very first team:

I call this: Baby Checo Era - Cursed Sauber Era

Look at him, he was so young, full of dreams and growing into those teeth. I think he was very lucky with his first teammate, the great Kamui Kobayashi (I secretly think this is why he's so fond of Yuki Tsunoda nowdays); he learned a lot with Kamui, Checo even admits that he knows about managing tires thanks to Kamui.

They seemed relaxed, and made a great team, and also we had Esteban Gutiérrez, another mexican, as the third driver for Sauber.

Anyway, this was his learning phase, and he was killing it, most of the press was nice/ambigous, some pilots on the paddock didn't like him, but we didn't care because Kamui was there, Esteban was there, and we as fans were there.

I called this 'cursed Sauber era' because it made us believe that life was good and we could be happy forever and ever.

Then it came the worst thing ever (actually, for me, the worst thing ever is Red Bull, but most Checo Fans don't agree on my take). My boy moves to McLaren because Ferrari was still thinking their options.

I call this the Lost Checo Era - Collective Amnesia Era

We thought the move to McLaren would put our Checo on the map, oh boy, we were SO WRONG. No points, no glory, no good car... not even good press. It was a hot mess.

Not even the suit was good, honestly.

His teammate was Jenson Button. He was polite, but we could see he didn't like Checo's driving style, and sometimes my boy made silly mistakes and tried to force his way into the laps rather aggressively (which most drivers did back then, but whatever).

Still, they were mostly nice to each other, but the team was shit back then, and Checo seemed lost and confused (and still wasn't growing into those teeth). When he changed teams, we as fans decided to forget all about McLaren and move on with him. Although I must say Checo has said that Jenson was one of his best teammates and learned a lot from him, so I guess their relation wasn't that bad.

Then it came Force India/Racing Point... oh, Force India, it was our time.

I call this the Hopeful Checo Era - Foce India Hope

Checo came and slayed, honestly. Everything seemed to click with that team, he looked comfortable, in his element, winning points again...

And he finally was growing into those teeth!!!

His first teammate here was Nico Hülkenberg, and they seemed to have a good relation, even friendly I might say.

It was an amazing time, as a fan, I can say I enjoyed all the races, even when he kept spinning out the track or hitting other drivers with his wheels. He and Nico were amazing, and had such a nice chemistry, it was a refreshing change and it made us nostalgic.

Then Nico moved to another team... and another Checo Era starts.

Nico Hülkenberg loggged out of Foce India, and Esteban Ocon logged in...

I call this the No Fucks Given Checo - Force India Breaking Point

We could see Esteban and Checo didn't like each other. It was obvious, and they tried so hard to show they could get along, with hilarious results like Esteban's tweet about Checo trying to kill him twice.

You could feel the tension even in pictures, honestly. As fans, we used to joke every race weekend, asking 'has Checo finally killed Esteban?'

Checo here was fearless and daring, and kept pushing everyone out of his way, including his teammate, which of course is a big no-no in F1... although Mercedes suffered the same with the whole Lewis/Nico thing (and RedBull to a lesser extent with Max/Daniel), but Force India was a mid-table team, so it wasn't a big deal (nobody cared, those were the good days).

I even remember when Massa complained about Checo's overtake on Lance, and my boy answered 'What are you? his father?'... I think even Kimi laughed at this, it was hilarious, and showed how many fucks he cared.

Unfortunately, Force India had a very questionable management (debatable, Vijay seemed like a nice person), and after stopping paying all the employees, Checo brought legal action against the team in hopes of looking for buyers capable of servicing the team's debts (this is why they like him so much on Aston Martin). This led to Force India to be bought by Lawrence Stroll, and rebranded as Racing Point.

I call this the Reborn Checo Era - Racing Point Pink Era

Honestly, I would fail as a mexican if I didn't put this picture, his first win in F1, we cried so much, starting at the last place, and winning, the fireworks, the tears... and the fact that he had been fired, and here he was, winning, showing everyone to never give up.

Anyway, Checo had a new teammate, Lance Stroll, and it even looked like we would get something similar to Nico, but then they fired him for Sebastian Vettel (no hate to Vettel, it was strategic, and we get it, but it felt like such a betrayal after what Checo did to save the team).

Still, my boy looked good in pink, and he and Lance got along, and gave us amazing moments. I even think that he improved his relation with Esteban Ocon because he was Lance's friend. It was nice.

But when he was fired of Racing Point, we as fans thought 'it's over... our boy is going to leave F1'. We even joked about funding our team so he could stay, it was bittersweet. He won, but he still lost.

Then it came the proposal of proposals... the big league (I wanted Checo to go to Mercedes and race with Lewis), Red Bull wanted him as second driver.

I personally didn't like it. Those teams are hardball, and the press is ruthless. But everyone was so happy for Checo, and I wanted to see him race, so I made peace with it.

And here we are now... I honestly don't know how to call this Checo Era. It has been a rollarcoaster since the beggining, and I wish he hadn't renew and moved to another team... but I'll stay here with him, like I've done since 2011, I just hope that the pressure and the harsh and unnecessary criticism doesn't end up breaking him.

Especially now that he looks so hot and finally has the Tom Cruise smile.

I actually like Max, I think he's a good person, and an even better driver. I think he and Checo have a good relation, friendly at times, frosty some others, but in the end, they reach a middle ground where they can be teammates and not enemies. I like them together, but I don't like Red Bull policies and the way the press seemed to want to make Checo feel like he's a failure just because he isn't Max.

Oh, and also, thanks to tumblr and FB, now I kind of ship RP, and I agree that Max and Checo have amazing chemistry, they look so good together! (but also deep down, I lowkey ship Lewis/Checo... and I still hope to see them together in a team).

So, if you made it this far, thank you very much for reading my weird ramblings. English is not my first language (again, mexican), so I apologize for the grammar mistakes.

I'm a Checo fan, and I'll be until he retires... I just wish that those who aren't, didn't create such a hostile and hateful enviroment.

I hope that when Pato O'ward joins F1, the enviroment is more welcoming and nice.

Checo aun tiene para luchar, y ni modo cabrones, así es la vida.

[inhibitionfreewriting]

holidays with Hasan and your cousins

Hasan spending the holiday with the reader's family for the first time & you see him playing with your nephew and you're like omg I love him and want to be with him forever and have a family with him 😭 (this may or may not be self indulgent)

so this ask is responsible for this. thank you again for trusting me with your thoughts!

🌠🌠

Hasan ends up the tallest one in the room during your holidays, for which your family finds hilarious. You're thankful because your family is on the funny side and Hasan fits right in, making the absolute worst jokes of his career, but your family eats it right up and responds in kind.

You're sitting on the floor with one of your family dogs with Hasan behind you as you hear your nephew open the door and start yelling immediately, saying hi to everyone. When he rounds the corner with his sister they run right over to you and barely miss stepping on the dog.

"Hey be careful! It's good to see you too," you kiss them both on the top of the head and your niece is staring at him behind you. "Oh this is my partner, Hasan." She's immediately shy about it and waves before running away, your nephew chasing after her. They had their hello rounds to make, they'd be back to you soon enough. Hasan leans forward and puts his hands on your shoulders, phone seated between his legs.

"I don't think they like me."

"Oh quite the opposite, actually. Just give them a minute and they'll be all over you." And sure enough they are, your nephew has gotten Hasan up onto his feet and he's trying his best to hold onto his arm. You reach out and grab your nephews sides, tickling at him and pulling him off of Hasan's arms.

Your niece comes around and asks Hasan about the bracelets he's wearing and she starts designing one for him. She has a lot of beads (she has pictures on her phones of her bead collection) and quizzes him on his favorite colors and animals and pivots unexpectedly when she finally realizes that he has nail polish on.

It's funny how easy he gets on with them, how easy it is for him to pick them up and throw them onto the couch, how easy they spoke to him. They had only met one previous partner and they didn't click with them the way they did with Hasan. Your heart was warm, almost like a dreamlike state fogged over your brain.

All you could think about was them being your kids instead. Him swinging around your kids, bringing them to family get togethers when they were older. They would have his curls, but your nose, and you'd want them to have tons of freckles just like him. They'd be adorable. If Hasan dropped down to one knee today, you'd say yes. It didn't matter how long you'd been together at this point, you were sold.

"Hey astronaut," he called, patting you on top of the head while your nephew tugged on your hand. "You still on Earth or are you back in space?"

"Oh, sorry, I'm here," you're sheepish as you smile at him and then your nephew. "Let's go eat."

[erinwantstowrite]

hi!! first off i just want to say i love LOF and i think it really stands out in this niche genre of “spiderman in gotham”, its my absolute favourite fic rn and im loving the long chapters and dynamics between characters :)

for my question, i wanted to know if you ever considered writing any portions of peters past. specifically when he was “Parker”, an informant for the avengers. it sounds like a really interesting story and i’d love to know more about it, no pressure tho ^^

thank you so much!! I do plan on writing more about it. I honestly want to do a prequel,,,

I have some of it written actually. It was called It's called "Technically Not a Lie (Just Omitting Information)" and what is hilarious about that is it's only 27,000 words right now. I haven't touched that fic in forever because I just... had all of the information written down and the planning, and I got into Batfam and was like "Let's just write a little about this" and we can all blame @alighterwood for where we are now LMFAOOO

Thing is, I never expected LoF to get so popular, which is why it was posted first. I was like "I'll just make sure as much as I can that LoF is clear about his past so anyone who isn't me can read it and be fine." And now that we're here, I'm like "...that might be important."

I think it would be fun to have a prequel so more people can see the dynamics of Peter's world from before LoF in a much clearer light.

I kind of wanna shed a little light on how this prequel would go:

He ran from his last foster house at 12 years old, and he's year years old in this fic. In that time, he has been determined to make a life for himself all on his own, as well as help people as Spider-Man. He has no idea that his personality made people trust him so much. He's only on the street for about a year by the time the story starts, but "Parker" is very much intertwined with people. People just know him, he's the kid that the other kids go to for help. Even without Spider-Man (who, at this point, has only just gotten a proper suit and people actually realize he's not a cryptid), Parker manages to help people.

That's why the Avengers end up talking to him. Kids are going missing in Queens and show up dead- but most of them are the homeless population. They think it has something to do with people trying to make a knock-off super solider serum, and during their investigation, everything comes back to "That Parker Guy." Not in a bad way- everything has nice things to say. One kid even says they'll only talk to them if Parker vouches for them.

Turns out, Parker is a 13 year old and a fucking genius. I mentioned in LoF chapter 1 about it a little bit, and here and there it was mentioned. Peter gives the Avengers a real run for their money the way he does for the Batfam. Except it's ten times worse because he hasn't gone to therapy and is on his own, yknow?

So Bucky and Steve run across Peter (who is doing his own investigation into the missing kids as both Parker and Spider-Man) and that conversation ends with Peter going "Look behind you!" and sprinting in the opposite direction.

Sam and Banner are the ones that really track Parker down and have the first contact with him, and from there, he becomes their informant. Of course, he's also lying to their faces. Swears that he has a mother waiting for him and that he's just really good friends with these people. And people have lied several times to their faces for Peter, going with the lie, which muddies the waters about what is and isn't the truth.

From there, the rest is history. Tony thought he was just viewing Peter like he was a puzzle to figure out, and is truly shaken to his core when he realizes how much he cares about the little shit. When Peter gets kidnapped by the people making the knock off serum, they go looking for him. And Peter ends up having a home :)

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

How would Riddler (which one is writers choice) react to a SO who drops those slightly infuriating jokes? (I just saw a post asking how you make an egg roll and the answer was 'push it' and I just think his reaction to those kinds of jokes would be hilarious)

"Groan-worthy" Riddler Party x Reader

Dude I'm such a sucker for Riddler's it's so difficult for me not to wanna go "my choice? all of the above" when it comes to that man. So you're getting all of them short and sweet!

TW: None

60s

Gotham

Takes him a second. Oh, you like puns? He gets that sheepish little smile and compliments how clever you are. It's much harder to come up with those than one would think! You have to have a good sense of word play, formatting of the joke and-

Oh, he's rambling. Yes. It was good! If it's a particularly bad one or he's stressed, he might give you an annoyed look. But normally he'll just smile.

The riddler who appreciates it the most! A lot of his riddles dance along the line of being riddles and those kind of jokes. Part of why he's always laughing! Puns and double entendres are his bread and butter.

The two of you will have each other hyena cackling to the point people can hear you from another room. There's definitely a jealousy amongst others that the two of you can find so much joy in each other over something so goofy.

Capullo

You would think he'd be way too cool for that and genuinely, he will attempt to act like he is. Try to fool you.

Then you tell just the right joke that's incredibly cheesy and he doesn't guess the punchline before you say it. You hear this deep ugly snort and then he's covering his mouth.

His jokes aren't necessarily groan worthy, they're just really fucking nerdy in a way that makes you roll your eyes when you get it.

Telltale games

BTAS

Audibly groans. You think that's cute, don't you? Then you notice he's smiling. He can't help it, you ARE cute. Even when you're being silly he can't help it. It's charming!

He likes to think his jokes are higher end but... they're verbose and require just a tad more thought. Still slightly infuriating.

Just looks at you. You can feel the judgement seeping into your soul.

If you REALLY enjoy them, he'll tell you dad jokes that are just awful. Terrible. But he tells them with a completely deadpan face reminiscent to "and don't call me shirley."

Batman 2022/Nashton

Arkham games

ANNOYED. Particularly if at any point he thought the joke was a real riddle or a genuine question. Yes. Ha ha. Word play. If you excuse him, he has real work to do and you're distracting him.

If he actually hurts your feelings with the attitude... he does an incredibly tired sigh, "I was going to tell you a joke about time travel.... but you didn't like it." Mini jazz hands. There. Did you like that one? What? Was that one not bad enough?

Autism. Look okay, we can say that for almost every riddler to an extent but this is the kind of shit he hyperfixates on. You've seen his cards? "I'm mad about you" "but it might spoil the chemistry" with a mad scientist on the card? UGH. He loves it.

Rhyming, puns... he gets SO excited. You know, he's never had someone to share these with, so once you do with that first joke... you see his eyes practically dilate like a cats. His time has arrived. You're about to get SO mad.

[utilitycaster]

Level Up Post: Mighty Nein: Echoes of the Solstice: The Speculation Version

DO NOT POST SPOILERS ON THIS IF YOU ARE AT THE LIVE SHOW IN PERSON. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

So here's the deal: I don't know what level they'll be (18-20), I am frankly assuming they level up in the first place (but like. why wouldn't they) and I'm going to have to make a bunch of assumptions, but here is a manageable-ish, I hope, summary, to be refined once we know more. Also: I'm assuming we've got Caduceus rather than Kingsley (I DO NOT KNOW THIS FOR SURE DO NOT RELY ON THIS BEING THE TRUTH) but I will make a Kingsley post if that is not the case (short answer - I'd recommend solely leveling up in blood hunter). As always with level-ups: if there is a significant omission or an error, please let me know. If I simply did not choose the same spell or feat you did, feel free to reply with "ooh nice, what about [spell]" but do not send me asks or get weird and sanctimonious about having different thoughts on subjective assessments. Anyway, here's the pre-show version; I'll make a new post Friday if appropriate.

Fjord: Let's get Mr. Complicated Tusktooth Stone Lavorre out of the way. He is currently Warlock 12/Paladin 5. Warlocks get a mystic arcanum at level 13 (7th level spell once per day) as well as another known spell for regular casting, a subclass feature at 14 (Master of Hexes for Fjord, which allows him to move his hexblade's curse from creature to creature if the first dies), and a mystic arcanum (8th level) and another invocation and another spell at 15. Paladins, meanwhile, get Aura of Protection (+CHA mod, so 5, to all saving throws to himself and all allies within 10 feet) at level 6, a subclass feature at 7 (Aura of Liberation - he and allies within 10 feet cannot be grappled or restrained, can use 5 feet of movement to get out of prior restraints [THIS WOULD HELP BEAU IF SHE SHOWS UP CHAINED BTW], and ignore penalties to underwater attacks) as well as another L2 spell slot, and an ASI at 8; his lay on hands pool also scales up by 5 HP per level. My personal feeling is: for the next level, take paladin level 6, which gives him and anyone within the aura +5 to all saves so long as he is not incapacitated; paladin auras are ridiculously good and every day I wish someone would play paladin straight through in CR, for me, much as I adore Fjord and Vax's dips into it. For his 19th level, I'd either take paladin 7 for the aura of liberation, or take warlock 13, which grants the mystic arcanum of which I'd take Etherealness, probably, or possibly Forcecage; the clerics can handle Plane Shift, and Finger of Death seems off-brand. He also gets another regular spell of which there are many; Contact Other Plane might not work under these conditions so I'm leaning towards Dream, which is just a great weird spell few people take, but also he could take a low level spell given he has paladin spell slots. And for 20th, take the one he didn't take for 19, for a final 13 Warlock/7 Paladin split.

Beau: Much more straightforward in comparison...but let's talk about the leveling up process. Level 18 grants Empty Body, in which she can spend 4 ki to be invisible for 1 minute and resistant to all damage other than force damage, or she can spend 8 ki to cast astral projection on herself alone, which is just hilarious and great and I would like to see it. She also increases her speed to 60 feet. Level 19 is an ASI/Feat; her stats are great so I say take Mobile because it's funny to make her normal speed 70 feet/round, or mage slayer for obvious narrative and "Beau, don't you want to pull a Cerrit on Ludinus" reasons. The capstone monk level kind of sucks (4 ki points back if she's tapped when rolling for initiative) but I don't have a good multiclass for her in mind so may as well ride it out. And of course she gets a ki point per level.

Caleb: Perhaps the only person for whom level 18 is actually fun (other than the multiclassed characters), at level 18 he gets to pick a 1st and 2nd level wizard spell in his spell book that he can cast at will. He can exchange these, but it requires 8 hours of study, so probably what he has going in to this show is what he has for the show. 19 is again a Feat/ASI, and honestly a con or dex boost never hurts a wizard. Level 20 gives him two 3rd level spells in his spellbook that he can cast once per rest (long or short) without using a spell slot. Might I suggest counterspell as one of them? And both he and the clerics gain extra high level spell slots at each level (5th, 6th, and 7th at levels 18, 19, and 20 respectively).

Veth: So she is actually trickier than Fjord, as the multiclassed character, in that I'm less sure how to split it out, but we'll go through the options: Level 17 in rogue grants her the ability to temporarily steal spells from another spellcaster who attacks her (Spell Thief) which is GREAT and she should definitely take it. Level 18 is Elusive; as long as she is not incapacitated, attack rolls cannot have advantage on her. And Level 19 is an ASI/Feat and an increase in sneak attack dice and also grants her a fourth level spell slot and new spell to go with it, which must be enchantment or illusion; Greater Invisibility seems like the obvious choice. I'd take the ASI to INT. On the other hand, if she pursues more wizard levels, Level 2 would give her a subclass and its features and another 1st level spell slot (and 2 more spells), Level 3 would give her 2nd level wizard spells and corresponding spell slots (and again, 2 more spells in her spellbook), and Level 4 is an ASI/Feat, a cantrip, and another 2nd level spell slot. I say take L17 in rogue first, then get a wizard subclass (transmutation does seem obvious for a number of reasons though abjuration, illusion, and divination have better L2 features and illusion makes narrative sense - divination would simply be hilarious), then take her final level in rogue for Elusive; but with both Veth and Fjord I think there's an obvious level to take (L17 rogue for Veth, L6 paladin for Fjord) and after that I respect Sam and Travis to pick what feels right.

Jester and Caduceus: At level 18, they can channel divinity 3 times per rest rather than 2. At level 19, they take ASIs, which honestly are up in the air for me - I'm excited to see what they pick, though @captainofthetidesbreath suggested Eldritch Adept for Jester which I would enjoy, and we haven't seen Caduceus's feat from the final episode yet which means I'm not sure about what he might take as a new one, though I'm personally always a fan of Chef. And at L20 divine intervention is guaranteed (though you can only use it once per week)...but to be honest if they are level 20, I am expecting this to be nerfed for solstice reasons because it is kind of game-breaking.

Yasha: So here's the thing. Barbarian 18-19 is kind of eh and 20 is good but not amazing. She could take it; she'd get indomitable might at 18 (treat any strength check as her strength score, 18, if she rolls lower than that), an ASI/Feat at 19, and her strength and con jump up by 4 each (and can exceed 20) - this would put her at 18 CON and 22 STR, assuming she doesn't increase either with the ASI (and to be fair I would take the ASI to strength). This is solid and entirely valid as a choice. HOWEVER, might I suggest the Grog move of taking her final three levels in fighter, which would give her a fighting style and second wind at L1, action surge at L2, and an archetype and its 3rd level features at L3. I like how Battle Master feels for Yasha but really it's that action surge that makes this great; Rune Knight or Champion are also decent options.

[theflyindutchwoman]

Do you think Tim has been acting OOC lately? Breaking up with Lucy, what he did in the army and lying to Grey and West so easily : I can't help but think it came out of nowhere. Old Tim would never have done that. What do you think?

Old Tim would never have done that. I disagree. Not only would have Old Tim done exactly that, we know he actually did - @makeitastrength and @roguetwelve made some very good points on that subject yesterday. The difference is that we didn't see it play out in details like in 6.06. But Old Tim lied to IA about Isabel's addiction. That was why Detective Murphy was so gung-ho against him in 1.16 : he knew about her addiction but didn't report her. He covered for her to protect her. Just like he didn't immediately warn the detectives about the kilo of drugs in Isabel's apartment after she confessed. He was even ready to steal that piece of evidence for her before he came to his senses and realised that it wouldn't help her in the long term. And it definitely wasn't the first time he lied to Grey. Remember that time he went rogue (with Lucy) in 2.14? Granted, there was no IA inquiry but he still officially lied on a report and to Grey's face (with the rest of the team). Or that time he made Lucy lie in a report after he instigated a fight with the bikers or by not mentioning Isabel?

Also, not to be that person, but the man has mentioned several times that he did some work with the CIA in the past… and, well, no offense, it doesn't get shadier than them - which is kind of hilarious when you think about it, considering how black & white Tim is. Let's not forget that Guatemala op too : it was never sanctioned to begin with, they used a black-op branch of the DIA and it's pretty safe to say that they covered it up after getting Angela back. The biggest difference is his motive. Tim claims that he did what he did back then for his career, which sounds far less noble than saving his BFF or fighting for his country. It would be interesting to see if that's true though or if it was the self-loathing rewriting history. But either way, he has done some shady things in the past and we knew about it.

As for Tim breaking up with Lucy… It is very much still in-character, unfortunately. This is the same man who decided to divorce Isabel because he thought that it would help her, not because he wanted to. He was terrified of being a walking reminder of her addiction and didn't want to hold her back. In that regard, his decision to break up for Lucy because she deserves far better (his words, not mine) is not that different. So, no, I don't think Tim was acting out-of-character. If anything, that's what makes this storyline so painful. Because it feels exactly like something Old Tim would have done. Because it feels like he just took a huge step backward, practically erasing his growth. And for me, that what makes it so real and interesting. Personal growth is rarely linear. Sometimes you take a step forward and sometimes you take a step backward. Sometimes you need to touch rock bottom before you can get better. Life is messy that way. We thought Tim was doing better - and in many ways, he was. But he never really dealt with his trauma. He simply tried to move forward and forget. Only now, his past has caught up with him and he's stuck in this self-destructive mode.

I fully understand disliking this arc. I also fully understand being frustrated by that 'regression'. But that doesn't mean he was written out of character. Because, unfortunately, that was the most Tim Bradford he ever did. Like the man said, he is "a man of principles and contradictions".

[zoloteh-volossya]

The Baldur's Gate Cast as the Elements of Harmony

Last night, spurred by whimsy and a little nostalgia, I decided to slam together one of my first fandoms with my current one. I present to you… the Baldur's Gate cast as wielders of the Elements of Harmony!

(Please note that I stopped paying attention to MLP:FiM after season 4, so my takes will not reflect later developments in the show.)

The Element of Magic

(Source for the Twilight vector)

This one's a slam dunk, a no-brainer (ironically). Both Gale and Twilight Sparkle are bookworms who were so gifted in magic that they attracted the attention of the most powerful magic user in their setting, who proceeded to lavish special attention on them while also sending them out on personal tasks. Both of them were so desperate to please this figure that they end up endangering a city/town as a result of their attempts to impress them. Both start their media franchises friendless except for a long suffering familiar who is in many ways more put together than them and feeds them (magic items). Both of them (can) end up becoming (quasi)divine. They're like mirrors of one another, separated by genre and species.

More to the point, as a magical prodigy and Mystra's former Chosen, Gale would be very well equipped to wield the Element of Magic.

If they ever met, I think Twilight and Gale would have a very interesting discussion comparing notes on their respective magic systems. Gale would probably be seethingly jealous that Twilight's respective magical mentor not only takes an active role in her development but actually actively ascended her to alicornhood. She's the physical representative of magic in her world, not nearly Mystra level but still a quasi-deity, and also an intensely curious person. His orb would be fascinating and incredibly alarming to her, while he might be a little leery of yet another goddess of magic.

The Element of Honesty

This one was also simple. Whenever you talk to Lae'zel, she gives you her thoughts plainly, without sugarcoating them or beating around the bush. Truly, no one else on the team is as worthy of wielding the Element of Honesty as her, and she would wield it well.

If they ever met, I think that Applejack and Lae'zel would actually get along pretty well (assuming that they did not meet in the middle of a gith raid on Applejack's orchards, at least). Both of them are straight talking, hard working characters who got good at their respective thing by putting in the effort. They also both share similar roles in their respective parties, as the strong, athletic, and somewhat competitive bruiser. Applejack's strong family focus might be interesting to Lae'zel, who has never had one (but expresses interest after meeting Jaheira's.)

The Element of Generosity

(Sorry for partially covering your face, Wyll, I wanted to block Mizora for the symbolism.)

Of course, if there's a member of the BG3 cast to represent generosity, it has to be Wyll. The man has dedicated his life and his soul to serving others, albeit in a very different way than Rarity does. He gave up his soul for Baldur's Gate, his humanity for Karlach, and is willing to give up his freedom for his father. He'd give a needy man the coat off his back and Astarion the blood from his veins. He is a worthy wielder of the Element of Generosity.

If Wyll and Rarity ever met, I think they'd be great friends. Wyll is exactly the sort of noble early-season Rarity dreamed of meeting in Canterlot - kind, honorable, charming, romantic. I think Wyll would really respect Rarity's industry and the lengths that she is willing to go to for others. She's a fashion designer, so she'd probably insist on gifting him the most fashionable saddles and bridles, which I'm sure the rest of the BG3 camp would find absolutely hilarious.

The Element of Laughter

One of Karlach's most notable traits is her ability to find joy and laughter in every moment alive and free, despite her horrific past. She is a buoyant force who lifts the spirits of everyone around her, and it is for this reason that every single companion (including Minthara) likes her so much. She exemplifies the spirit of the Element of Laughter as much as a character from this genre can.

Karlach and Pinkie Pie would get along like a house on fire. ("Let's throw a party!" "YEAH!"). They're both genuinely cheerful people, but they're also using that attitude to mask other, more negative emotions that they don't want to control their lives but lurk nonetheless. But mostly they'd party together like nobody's business.

The Element of Kindness

This is honestly the biggest stretch, but I'd argue that Shadowheart could represent the Element of Kindness if she goes the Selunite path. Her arc throughout the game is basically that of a woman whose innate kindness is struggling to emerge through many layers of mind wiping and indoctrination despite Viconia's best efforts. As a Sharran, she tried to befriend and adopt a mouse. Even when she is trying her hardest to be mean in acts 1 and 2, she still approves of kind actions by others. If you give her any support at all, she defaults to abandoning her driving dream becuase she cannot bring herself to be cruel enough. And once freed of her Sharran shackles, she begins to bloom into a person truly capable of weilding the Element of Kindness.

Amusingly, a post game Shadowheart who saved her parents is living pretty much exactly the same life as Fluttershy - a cottage close to but not in a rural town where they take care of animals. I think the two of them would be able to bond over their respective menageries.

The Element of Loyalty

Last but not least, we have the Element of Loyalty, wielded by… Minthara! I know y'all were expecting Astarion, but Minthara's first dialogue upon joining the party proper (if you slept with her) highlights her loyalty specifically.

*Her entire being joins with you for a moment, and you see all that she is. Dangerous, cunning, wounded, brutal, paranoid... and utterly loyal to those she trusts.*

And loyal she is. Become the Slayer? She's with you (and thinks you're exquisite). Become a mind flayer? She's with you without a flicker of hesitation. Control the Brain? She's with you (if you spare her). Don't control the Brain? She's still with you. Prance about the city being a goody two shoes to everyone you can help? She's grumpy, but she's with you. Once Minthara finds a purpose, be that a deity or a person, she stands by them with a singleminded devotion that makes her well worthy of wielding the Element of Loyalty in my view.

If Minthara and Rainbow Dash were to meet, Minthara would likely write Rainbow Dash off as a braggadocious blowhard until she heard about the Sonic Rainboom, whereupon which she would spend an hour trying and failing to convince RD to weaponize it. Rainbow would likely find Minthara a bit curt for her tastes. If she hears of Minthara's ambitions or more violent suggestions, she might ping Minthara as a 'bad guy' and pick a fight. However, Minthara canonically reads science fiction and Rainbow Dash enjoys adventure novels, so maybe they might bond over a shared taste for genre fiction. Befriending the villains is a tried and true staple of Rainbow Dash's genre, after all.

(What about Astarion, you ask? Well, the problem with him is that he is not very magical, a consummate liar, selfish, often cruel, not particularly loyal, and his laughter is primarily at others' expense. I'm sorry, but he's just not Element of Harmony material. He's got other things going on.)

(Halsin was a runner up for Element of Kindness. Shadowheart was just far more interesting in that role, so it went to her.)

[biwitchenergyz]

How I would have wrote the first episode to lead up to blood and cheese

DISCLAIMER! This is purely for fun and I do not think I am better then the actual writers of house of the dragon. I just enjoy writing and thought I’d give my own take on the scene and how I would have liked to see it play out. Please don’t take this too seriously. Also ignore my grammar I can’t spell their names to save my life😭

I like the scene of Aegon coming in to look for his son. I think this could be a great time to introduce Maelor. Perhaps Jaehara could be holding her little brother while Helaena is sewing and watching her two youngest kids. Helaena is sewing almost unconsciously as though her mind is elsewhere but looking at her children soothes her tensed expression. Jaehara laughs and smiles when Aegon comes in and he instantly goes to her, patting her head while he speaks to her and Maelor. Maybe he jokes with his children but jaehara and the baby boy smile. He asks Helaena where HIS boy is instead of “the boy” and Helaena tells him that her son is in the library having his lessons. Aegon says something like thank you, sister. And tells her that he plans on taking the future king to watch a council meeting. The rest of the scene follows like in the show with Helaena saying she is scared and Aegon reassuring her that she has nothing to fear, maybe he even adds that the rats are no worry because the rat catchers are here to protect her (from the rats).

Cut to The council scene which I thought was perfect, for emotional effect I’d add a moment where During the king hearing petitions he has brought Jae and he puts Jae on his lap and kinda plays with his son and tells him one day he will sit the iron throne. Then Aegon gives the boy his signature ring to play with.

Now I’d keep everything else, especially Rhaenyra’s iconic I want Aemond line, but instead I’d like Daemon to go to Mysaria and express a different plan. Kind of like “the queen wants my nephew because she is blinded by a mothers grief but he is not the real threat. We must end Aegons line, without an heir Aegons position is weak and perhaps he too will feel the grief that the queen endures.” Since this WHOLE episode daemon has only been mad about nobody destroying Aegon when they had the chance and as he points out he only wants to kill Vhagar because Aemond is no threat to them without her. Daemon, the ROGUE prince, goes rogue and hires blood and cheese with the sole intent of killing Aegons heir (forgetting Maelor because Daemon doesn’t really know shit about Aegons family). He tells blood and cheese to cause as much torment as they wish but that he must have the head of a son. So blood and cheese (who have expressed hatred for the hightowers) go into the castle in pretty much the same way except they never pass Aegon on the throne cus that’s dumb as shit. (We still see Aegon and his bros because that was hilarious)

Blood and Cheese hear two maids talking about how the queen will take her kids to see the queen dowager as she always does. They will mention that they have begged Helaena to take guards with her but the queen insists that they will be fine (or says some ominous dreamer quote). So blood and cheese sneak past guards being stopped at one moment by a guard who they trick into letting them go. Finally they arrive at the Queen Dowagers room where they kill Alicents two guards and barge into the room where Alicent is being dressed by her lady maid. The woman screams and cheese strangles her while blood grabs Alicent and ties her arms to her bedpost (she can mover her feet but she can not move far). Then they wait as Helaena brings the kids. Alicent is gagged so Helaena doesn’t hear her screaming. Hel brings the kids in and they are all taking and playing as the door slams shut behind her and she finally notices the two men standing at the shut door. She demands to know who they are but when she sees the rat cages she falls silent. Then she whispers to her scared kids, “the rat catchers are here to protect us.” Like Aegon said to her even though she doesn’t believe it. Alicent is screaming at Helaena through her gag begging her to run but Hel remains calm. “You owe a debt and we are here to collect” Cheese says.

He rips Maelor from Helaena’s arms and blood grabs Jahaerys, who he identifies by the ring Aegon gave him to play with. They demand Helaena chooses one of her sons to die but she offers herself instead. They tell her she’s just a woman and they came for a boy or something with a cock (cus they are brazen and gross). Jaehara hides behind her mom but finally pokes her head out from behind her as Helaena pleads that she be taken instead. Cheese then sees the girl and tells her to make a choice before blood rapes her daughter. Alicent starts crying and trying to escape her bondage. She pulls so hard that she will later have bruised wrists that we see at the funeral.

Finally Helaena says, “the baby. Take my baby.” Clearly thinking he doesn’t know what’s going on. Cheese tells Maelor , “your mama wants you dead” then he drops the kid to the floor and Helaena runs forward to catch him. She and Alicent look relived thinking the two men will leave but then Cheese grabs Jaehareys arms as Blood pulls his knife. The camera shows Jahaerys scream for his mom then the focus is on Helaena’s face( with Alicent in the background) both watching in fear as we hear them slice off the boys head. (Maybe blood splatters across Helaena’s face for drama) and then the screen goes black.

[gunpowderraven]

critical role: by someone that hasn’t seen any of it

hi so we recently got into dimension 20 and our friends have been tugging us towards critical role for a very long time at this point but we still haven’t watched any of it nor do we know all that much about anything that actually happens in it. however we do intend to actually start watching soon so we decided it was the perfect opportunity to make one of those ‘all the things i know about this thing i haven’t watched’ posts, show it to our critrole friends, and then actually get into critrole and be able to look back and laugh about it later

also the images are all sourced via friend so this is all one hundred percent no wiki no google knowledge, just from tumblr and discord convos and stuff. and some cast compilation videos that were very funny

update: we are now watching cr3! liveblog tag for silly lb -> #cr3 lb

vox machina

from left to right:

- i have literally no idea who the two halflings are. i’ve never seen them before in my life. what. uh. paladin and bard? im literally just guessing. who plays these characters. what

- grog? grug? this is travis’ pc maybe. also hypothesizing hes a half-orc barbarian or something similar? ive seen like one clip of him

- percival frederick von something something de rolo i think there’s a iii in his name as well, his name is long and very german but he does not have a german accent. or a french one. at separate times i have thought this character was german and french and then i heard him talk and was like. What. anyway i know he’s taliesin’s pc and he invented guns and is also possessed sometimes by big bird demon, and he has a nifty plague doctor mask. also tragic backstory. his entire family is dead i think. no mercy percy! he has a thing with vex? also his hair did a wilbur. the gay people on tumblr love this twink. i also think i love this twink

- vax’ildan! i think i may have actually spelled that right! half-elf? vex is his twin? and he’s... liam’s pc i think. yeah that’s it. he gives me angsty boy energy tho. not as much as percy but this boy has seen some shit. also he might be a rogue or a ranger who even knows. he looks like gay jon snow

- vex’ahlia which i definitely didn’t spell right. i think the next one is marisha’s pc so this one is... uh... laura? i think she’s the ranger actually. i think she has a bear. not like a gay bear like an actual animal bear. though it could be gay too i dunno. she has a think with percy. or everyone wants her to have a thing with percy. i genuinely can’t tell. anyway get that traumatized twink girl

- keyleth... marisha’s pc. some kind of spellcaster? maybe sorcerer? wild magic? she Also has a thing with percy maybe. or vex. or both. who even knows. everyone wants that twink. one time she threw herself off a cliff and turned into a goldfish and almost died and it was hilarious

anything else i know about this:

- there are evil bitches called the briarwoods and they might be vampires

- this is the one that got a tv show and might have also been the first critrole campaign idek

- d. ragons? chromia something. dragons. i hope i haven’t been lied to about the dragons. i hope there are actually dragons in this. there’s like a chromium something with dragon symbols tho

mighty nein

from left to right:

- mollymauk! ...tealeaf? another taliesin pc. the trans people like this one. i don’t know what their pronouns are. but theyre slaying every time i see them at any time. no idea what class but maybe a spellcaster?

- ...beau? i know her exclusively through lesbian ship art so i know her name is beau something bc that’s the ship names but i don’t know if that’s short for something. monk? no clue. also no clue who plays her either. maybe marisha?

- i have seen this character but i do not know their name. or anything else about them

- oh this is the sad wizard boy caleb widogast. he’s gay for essek thelyss (or something. i didnt spell that right) who is a npc i think. yeah. sad wizard. every time i see him he’s just being a wizard and sad. the gays love him too but he’s more of a distraught otter than a sad twink. maybe he and percy should start a club tho. also i think he’s played by liam

- i KNOW this character’s name i think it starts with s but i can’t remember for the life of me. scriv? scrat? no thats the rat from ice age. possibly a menace? i think im getting them mixed up with someone else. they look cool as hell though

- jester!! laura pc i think perhaps. i want to get drunk with her and tell her about all of my problems. yeah. i dont know anything about her actually. beaujester exists tho i know that

- YASHA. CRUSH ME HOLY FUCK. sorry im normal ? her voice makes me a little crazy insane. ive seen a few clips of her. mostly gay shit with beau. uh she’s played by ashley and she could kick my ass very easily

oh my god there’s another photo

- i think there’s only one character different here and it’s caduceus clay fun fact i hated this mfer for really dumb shitty personal reasons for a while before deciding it was very stupid to blame a fictional character for interpersonal drama and now im fine with him. wait does mollymauk die or something. wait a second. no, wait, fuck—

- ALSO WHO’S THAT FUCKER IN THE BACKGROUND I JUST NOTICED THAT

anything else i know about this:

- yeah i got nothing. no idea about the lore or the plot or anything bc i pretty much exclusively see gay ship art of these pcs. love wins i support it

bells hells

from left to right, one more time:

- look my brain is just saying gertrude from dungeons & drag queens but obviously that’s incorrect. so i don’t know who this is

- or this! but she looks very pretty and i love the little... monkey... bird? pls tell me these two characters have some kind of wild opposites dynamic they look like they do

- LITTLE ROBOT GUY . fcg? fgc? i think it was the first one. uh. liam pc? ?????? i think he gets bitches

- orym...? i know one of these characters is named orym. and i think it’s this one. i also see gay fanart of him

- i don’t know who the guy underneath him is

- or the lady with the purple hair god i really don’t know shit about this campaign sorry

- ashton greymoore, taliesin pc, my friend luna loves this guy, he’s. rocks? he’s rocks. groovy.

- someone in this campaign is named like dorian or something and im guessing its this one bc idk who they are either

anything else i know about this:

- flying.......... ship?

- this is the ongoing one i think

thank you for coming to my ted talk, i can’t wait to look back at this in a few months and laugh my ass off. hope u enjoyed this mess