#designs r not final.. may be used in the future

[spinwulves-and-molers]

day 6

somethings off.

[the-kr8tor]

Mr and Mrs Smith AU: When Jane met John

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader

Word count: 9k

Summary: Joining a spy agency? Check ✓ Hired in said agency? Check ✓ Getting a new fancy house? Check ✓ An entire armoury of weapons at your disposal? Check ✓ A new Husband? Check ✓ wait, what?

Tags: Use of Y/N sparsely, no specific physical description of the reader (except for her clothing), Hobie and R call each other by fake names (ie: John, Jane, Smith etc), spy AU, CW suggestive, CW food mentions, TW blood, CW violence, CW vomit mention, TW death.

A/N: Happy 1k! Happy reading!!!❤️

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The waiting room seems like it's designed to make you extra anxious. From the bright fluorescent lights that whir above, to the carpet that smells like a very harsh citrus soap. Add the metallic chairs that's incredibly cold under your slacks— It all makes you bounce your leg from the bundle of nerves inside your stomach. The people waiting around you don't help either, they all look like they came out of magazine covers. Hair all tied up in a perfect bun, pencil skirts that cinch their waist perfectly. Button ups that are ironed until there's no crease in sight.

You bite your lip, eyes glued on the steel door, to where your last resort is, to where your entire future depends on. Looking around the room full of models, it doesn't seem like you're applying for a security job.

Maybe you should've worn that pencil skirt that's gathering dust in your closet.

Even though you technically don't know what kind of job it is, you really need to get this one, or else. Your savings could only get you so far. An old ‘friend’ of yours recommended this ‘company’. It operates at the highest security, the risk is just as high, but the pay is higher. More than what you've ever earned in the five years you've worked anyway.

Flicking your eyes above the door, the light finally turns green from red, and a chiming sound can be heard as the door clicks open on its own. You still wonder where the applicant goes after their interview since you never saw them exit out the same door. A morbid thought passes by your mind: a gun plus a bullet to the head. The image makes you grab the rubber band on your wrist to slap it against your skin. It leaves the stinging pain for only a moment, but it's enough to throw away the vision from your brain.

An applicant enters and you look down at the piece of paper in your hand— you're next.

The number, 2715 is written in Times New Roman. You can recognize that font anywhere, for it's the same font used on newer gravestones, the same font on his— you slap the rubber band against your wrist again. This time harder than the last. The stinging stays for a minute more. Your heels tap against the carpet, the clock ticks, the fluorescent whirs, someone coughs and you want to punch them in the face— you slap the rubber band against your skin again.

Your ears perk up at the familiar chime like you've been Pavlov’d by the sound after waiting for three hours on that uncomfortable metal chair that has tiny holes that you've gotten your pinky finger stuck in on hour two.

With a deep breath, you saunter your way towards the creaking door, trying to summon all the confidence in your body. They may be watching so you do your best to not look as nervous as you feel like.

As you enter the room, the large screen in the center raises a curious brow. The light from the monitor shines a spotlight on the singular office chair right in front of it. The room is dim, save for the single light. The screen reminds you of one of those mall touch screens that shows you the map of the building. There's another door on the opposite wall, now you know where all the other candidates exit, and it's definitely not from a bullet judging from the clean floors.

With a tentative step, you cross the distance. Sitting down, the chair is a comfortable welcome from the last one you sat on.

“Am I supposed to push a button?” You roam your eyes over the circular shape up top. You surmise that it's the camera.

The calming sky blue screen flashes words,

> Hihi, welcome

“Hi?”

> Insert nail clippings

A box slides out below the screen, prompting you to take the ziplock with your nail clippings from your bag. It slides back in with a mechanic hiss once you place the plastic on the drawer, and the screen blinks to a couple of questions that you answer honestly.

> What's your ethnicity?

You don't falter. Answering it truthfully.

> Height?

You clear your throat, the lump is either from the nerves or how your voice faltered when you answered.

> Are you willing to relocate?

You wring your hands together on your lap. “Yes, absolutely. Nothing's holding me back.” Then the dreaded question pops up on the bright screen.

> Tell me about yourself

“Uh, I graduated top of my class.” You scratch the back of your neck. “MI6 agent for three–no, uh four years.” Chuckling shakily, you continue. “I got high merits…w-well until the thing— but I was on the road to promotion b-before it happened.” God, you hate interviews.

> Words that people would describe you with?

You blink, sucking in a breath. “Truthfully?” Joking, the screen doesn't appreciate your humour.

> Yes

“Oh, p-people would describe me as a… someone who has initiative. Cunning…” unfeeling— you slap the band on your wrist again. Sitting up right, you gaze at the camera like your eyes could see the person typing behind it. You guess it's a person at least. “Passed all my training with flying colours, infiltration, marksmanship, hand to hand, you name it. You tell me the job and I'll do it with no questions asked.”

> Are you okay with high risk?

“More than okay.” You answer quickly.

> With a team or alone?

“I'm alright with either, but I prefer alone.”

> Why did you get fired?

“You know why.” You say intensely, eyes boring holes into the screen. For a second you thought you flubbed it but the screen continues to flash a new question.

> Have you killed anyone?

> And why?

The question turns into what you're more accustomed to. “Yes, approximately…” you inhale sharply. “Forty three. Two unintentionally, the rest with various…weapons.” You mindlessly play with the loose thread of your blazer to get rid of the flashing images in your head. “As for why, that's confidential information.”

The robot or the person behind the screen seems to accept your vague answers for it moves on with the interview.

> Favourite food?

Your eyebrows knit at the sudden turn of question. “Uh, I have a sweet tooth, ice cream. I think. But I can't resist good popcorn.” Your tone wavers at the end.

> Have you been in love?

You laugh, but the question still flashes on screen, unchanged and unamused. Clamping up, you feel for the rubber on your wrist.

“I-I'm sorry but what is this part for?”

The screen remains the same.

“—No,” you remember that they've probably already known everything about you even before you applied. So you decide to answer vaguely, that seems to work out before. “Once, just once.”

> When was the last time you said ‘I love you?’

“A long time ago.”

> To whom?

“You know who.”

—

You're surprised that you got the job even after the disastrous interview. The suitcase is light in your tightly clasped hand. The belongings you've tossed inside are sparse, only packing the ones you only need.

The large wooden door looms in front of you, the street behind you is bustling and right across your new home is an expansive park. A park that looks like you need to pay just to get inside. The neighborhood that you're situated in can be described as exclusive, rich and very suburban. The kind of setting where parents would do anything to raise their kids in. Something you've never thought in your dangerous life to live in, more so even step foot in.

With an exhale, you unlock the door. It clicks open surprisingly, you doubted the company for a second when you pushed it in. Maybe they gave you the wrong address? Maybe something went wrong in their system and your name popped up instead of someone more worthy? Someone who's a better shot, someone who isn't as bat shit insane as you.

The long hallway greets you, the low warm light brings comfort to your rattling bones. Its carpet runner is soft beneath your sneakers, red and blue threads weaved around the thick cloth. Framed art is posted on the walls, the artist's name you recognize from some pretentious reality tv about selling mansions that you once drunkenly watched alone on a friday night.

You leave your baggage in the hallway. Opting to explore the cinnamon scented home. Its rich walls remind you of chocolate that you once got for your birthday. The furniture doesn't look like it came from Ikea, the oak is sturdy under your palm, no rough surface, no protruding nails that slashes your flesh.

You snap the rubber band on your wrist for the umpteenth time today.

There's an ornate door sitting on your right, robins and roses are carved on the wood. The biometric scanner is placed right next to the door, it’s a stark contrast to the traditional home. Flipping the cover open, you place your thumb on the smooth surface of the scanner. After a half second, the door clicks open, revealing a steel elevator. The bright light above it almost blinds you.

Your curiosity makes you enter the steel cage, roaming your eyes, you spot the buttons.

“Might as well.” You say to the emptiness of the house.

As the elevator door closes, the front door opens.

There's a lack of elevator music, perhaps that's the best since you always hated the cheery chiming of it. The second the door opens, you take a peek inside. The weird smell combination of chlorine and butter hits your nose.

“Holy shit,” you mumble in disbelief at the indoor pool and theatre. “A fucking pool under the house? And a fucking theatre screen in front? Which rich fuck decided that?” Your voice echoes, bouncing off the tiled walls of the pool.

Roaming the large room, eyes wide and strides small, you marvel at the high ceilings with the same warm tone lights hidden in the coves to soften the lights. You crouch down, letting the warm water lap at your hand.

There's a handful of sun loungers on the side, tables in between them for drinks and whatever rich people put on it. A projector hangs above the pool, an electrical hazard, you thought and an image of an entire pool party getting electrocuted lingers in your mind. You snap the rubber band against your wrist.

The popcorn machine helps distract you from the intrusive thought. Opening the machine, the popped kernels are still warm against your skin. You quickly scoop up a handful of it in your palm, the butter slicking your hand and your mouth as you eat it like how a baby deer eats grass.

You've had enough of the overly decorated basement, getting back on the elevator, you finish off your popcorn with one big bite. Still chewing, you wipe your hands on your trousers to press the shiny buttons on the elevator. The doors close as you chew loudly, eyes up on the screen showing the floors of the house, you don't notice the stranger standing outside of the opened doors.

Butter on your lips, you almost smack him on his pretty face.

“Christ!” You yelp, almost choking on a kernel.

“Close, but no.” He smirks, eyes flicking at the sheen on your lips.

Your husband, the title echoes in your popcorn filled head. His smile captures your attention, a ten megawatt grin that could power the entire posh neighborhood. His piercings glimmer in the warm light, and your eyes are glued to the ones on his eyebrows. Hazel eyes, the left one seems to be lighter than the other, watercolour eyes stare back at you, scanning your features. If you stare long enough you swear you can see patches of green and gray in those expressive eyes.

“John Smith.” He introduces himself, your husband, your partner. John doesn't raise his ringed hand for you to shake, instead he nods at you, waiting patiently for you to say your name. As if he doesn't know.

Clearing your kernel filled throat, you quickly run your tongue across your teeth (with your mouth closed of course) because you don't want to embarrass yourself further by having popcorn stuck in your teeth.

“Jane, Jane Smith.” You reach towards him to shake his hand, he raises a brow at you in turn.

“I don't do that, love, sorry.”

“Shake hands?”

“Yeah,” he looks to the left of your face, his eyebrow twitches slightly— a tell.

“Are you a germaphobe?” You ask before you could stop yourself.

“Not really, I've got issues…with intimacy.” John shrugs, the metals on his leather jacket clinks together. You think he'd rather be a model or a rock star instead of a spy with how he dresses and carries himself with confidence.

You smile knowingly, “We all do, but you don't have that issue. It's our first day of marriage and you decide to lie to your wife?” You click your tongue, eyebrow raised. “Not a very good first impression, John.”

He'll never get used to being called that basic name. ‘John’ takes your hand, it's warm, searing hot under your slippery hand. You'd thought his warmth would cook your flesh, you guess the butter on your palm would work wonders. You're starting to regret snacking. The calluses on his palm matches your own, a large scar across his palm tells you a story untold. Silver rings decorate his long fingers. There's a more simple silver bracelet on his wrist, a stark contrast to the ornate rings he sports on both hands.

He's handsome, you think, rightfully so. With his chiseled jaw that rivals any greek statue and eyes that could be mistaken for stars; he's tall too, so that's a plus. You lucked out on the fake husband department. Well, there's worse men to fake marry out there. Just judging from first impressions, you're glad he's the one you have on your side,

“How'd you know?” He asks, eyes narrowed.

“I'm very perceptive.”

“Trained?”

“Nope,” you hide your bundle of nerves with your casual tone. His hand is still clasped on your own, you don't notice it. “Just very good at reading people.”

“Did you have a stint at the BAU too?”

Too? You ignore it for now. “No,” chuckling, you finally notice the heat on your palm so you let him go. “Just…natural talent, I guess.”

“What’s under the house?” John asks, stepping aside so you could exit the elevator.

“A beating heart.” You curse yourself, fingers already reaching for the rubber band on your wrist.

To your surprise, John laughs. The sound is genuine, eyes crinkling in the corners. “I got the reference.”

“I figured.”

“I saw a black box in the office, you wanna check it out?” He points behind him with his thumb.

“Why? Do you think there's a beating heart in there too?”

“Maybe.” He plays along, walking beside you. “You never know with the company, for all we know there's a head in there.”

“Morbid.” You joke as he opens the door for you.

“Says you?” John keeps reminding himself of his real name whilst he memorizes the side of your face. He already wants to tell you his real name, not the one assigned to him by the suits behind the faceless screen he has grown familiar with. He says his name in his mind again, if he accidentally blurted it out, well, c'est la vie.

“Says me,” you shrug casually, trying to keep up with his wit and charm. You already think you're losing. You scrunch your face at the painting above the mantle. It's an art of two lovers doing the tango, if tango excludes clothes and includes intense snogging.

He chuckles right next to you, an airy laugh that has you smiling too. “A very brave choice. Not my taste, but whatever floats the company's boat. What's inside is a bit better though.” Your ‘husband’ reaches towards the frame of the painting, gently pressing down, it releases a metallic click as it reveals a secret compartment full of weapons.

You hide a snort behind your hand. The cabinet reminds you of your own. Unimpressed, you flick your eyes down at the office table, the large black box sitting on top of it is just begging to be opened.

Without a second thought, you open it. Taking out the bottle of expensive looking wine, you read the card that is tied in a neat ribbon around the neck.

“‘Good luck on your first day of marriage’” you look at the man beside you. He's incredibly close to you, his elbow grazing yours, lips slightly parted whilst he takes a peek at the wine. He smells of burgundy and leather, it calms your senses for some odd reason. “I prefer coke.” You practically shove the bottle in his hands. The glass clinks against his metal rings.

“The snorting variation or the fizzy one?” He asks, placing the bottle down on the narra table with an almost silent thud.

“The fizzy one.” You take his question at face value. He doesn't question why you don't prefer alcohol. Sitting down on the plush office chair, you open the laptop in front of you. It dings, needing a password to open it. “It needs a—”

Before you could even finish the question, he gives you a scrap of paper from the numerous envelopes inside the box. The password is printed on it with the same font as the one from the piece of paper you held a couple of weeks ago.

You type it whilst he rifles through the box. The home screen pops up, nothing too fancy or out of the ordinary. Except for the single application in the corner that's only labeled as ‘S’

Clicking it, a chat box appears.

> Hihi, follow man

John snakes up next to you, the harsh light from the laptop shines on his pensive face. You return your attention towards ‘your boss’. A picture of a young blond man pops up in the chat, there's a mole near his left eye, he sports dark eyebrows. And a look that says ‘daddy paid for my college!’

> 40.748817, -73.985428

“That's downtown I think.” John pipes up next to you, and you look at him like he just said the sky is green and the grass is blue.

> Take keys, take car. Bring car here

> 51.505554, -0.075278.

“A car?” You rhetorically ask.

“Must be a very expensive car, or an important one.” John answers back as he leans further down to take a better look at the monitor. His hand is on the back of your chair, his necklaces dangle on his neck like a pretty chandelier.

You both wait for more instructions but it doesn't come.

“Hihi isn't very talkative, huh?” Your voice echoes in the awkward silence.

“‘Hihi?’”

“Yeah, I thought I'd give it a nickname.” You think he's weirded out but with an amused laugh he pats your shoulder nonchalantly.

“Cute.” You don't know if he's referring to you, or to the nickname you dubbed your electronic boss. “I've separated our papers.” John says as you still contemplate his last comment. “Here's yours.”

“Thanks.” You scan the pile in your hands. Your own face greets you as you flip through it all.

“It has everything we need. Credit card, ID's, carry permit and a passport.”

“What's that one?” You point at the larger envelope next to John's pile. A smaller black leather envelope sits atop it.

He opens the large envelope, giving you the contents of it. “Marriage certificate. And this one…” shaking the leather envelope, whatever is inside of it clinks. Taking it out, he shows you the gold bands. “...our wedding rings.” Heat rises in your cheeks unavoidably once he says it softly. “May I?” Open palm reaching out, he beckons.

You try to remember which hand wears it. With a split second decision, you place your left hand atop his own. Carefully sliding the cold ring in your marriage finger, you stay locked in on his eyes that's concentrating like he's disarming a bomb.

John pats your hand and then inserts his own ring in his finger, mirroring yours.

“Guess we're married.” You shrug casually like your heart doesn't beat against your ribcage, like it's trying to escape its confines. “It feels kind of weird?”

“We are,” he flashes you his signature smirk. “And we'll get used to it, hm, wife?”

“Yeah, I'll adapt.” You say just barely above a whisper, hands suddenly clammy.

“That's my girl.” Throwing you a wink, he walks away from a flustered you.

Yeah, you got lucky.

—

Morning comes and you had the best sleep you've had in years. Even if you slept on an empty stomach last night, you still slept like a baby on the eight hundred thread count Egyptian cotton blanket. You stare blankly at the beige ceiling, hands roaming around the soft bed sheet like you're making a snow angel. Sleep ridden eyes roam around the expansive master bedroom to which your new husband has graciously let you take.

Speaking of ‘John’, his bedroom is just across your own. Surprisingly enough, he hasn't woken up yet based on the silence in the hallway outside, you hadn't pegged him as a late riser.

Breakfast calls for you when your stomach rumbles loudly, but you're too comfortable to even move from your spot. Something taps from your window that's facing the foot of your bed. A soft tippy tap of something hitting the glass that has you sitting up. Eyes blinking rapidly, you stare off a pigeon perched outside. Its iridescent feathers shine in the early morning sun, its beak tapping rhythmically at the window.

Sliding your hand behind you, blindly grasping at a pillow, you fling it across the room to scare off the bird. The pillow hits your mark and out flies away the annoying pigeon. With a sigh, you get off your ass to get ready for the day ahead. You don't want to be late to your first day out in the field, no use in rotting in your luxurious bed if you can't keep it after you get fired for being late.

You dress for the day and for the cool weather. Spring has come but the freezing temperature has decided to stay for a little while. With a cozy turtleneck and comfy slacks, you forgo the torturous device called ‘heels’ for a pair of trainers. Staring at yourself in the mirror, you shrug with a huff. And you snap the rubber against your skin once again.

Taking the chair off the doorknob and then unlocking the door, you exit your sanctuary. Closing your door softly, you find yourself in front of John's room. Judging from the soft snores, you notice that he’s still sleeping. You might be his fake wife but it's not your job to wake him up. So you continue down the hallway and into the kitchen to fix yourself a bowl of cereal.

Bowl in hand, you chew as you walk up to the rooftop. Unlocking it, the sun greets you with a comfortable heat, and you frown at it. You keep eating whilst you explore the space. There's a bountiful garden in the corner, raised garden beds full of fresh vegetables and fruit that is ripe for the taking. An outside dining area sits in the middle, you recognize the long table from a catalog you once read to pass the time at the dentist. You remember that it doubles as a grill and leg warmer in the winter.

“Fancy,” you murmur with your mouth full of grainy goodness. Sipping the leftover milk in the bowl, you place it on the expensive table to crouch down next to a bushel of strawberries to sniff. “Almost ripe,” you figure from the softness of the fruit.

A bird flies above you, it's shadow casting over you. With the sound of fluttering wings, the bird perches on the table, black orbs staring at you, head tilting like it's observing your presence.

“Are you the same fucking bird?” You question the pigeon. It coos at you, and then pecks at the ceramic of your discarded bowl. “Motherfucker—” standing up, you have the look of someone ready to square up with the feathered creature.

“Why are you fighting an innocent bird?” John appears with a mug of tea in his hand. You forgot to make tea.

“I wasn't fighting with it.”

“He,” your partner crosses the distance, the bird doesn't fly away from the close proximity. You raise an eyebrow at that. “might be hungry.” He gestures towards the strawberries behind you with his chin. “Think you can grab us one, lovie?” You're gonna need some time to get used to that term.

“It's not ripe.”

“I don't think he's picky.”

“It's too sour, it might upset his stomach.”

“He's a pigeon, he's used to eating shit off the pavement. I think that's fine, love.”

With an awkward nod, you pick the one that's redder than the rest. Throwing it towards John, he catches it with a practiced hand. He sits down before laying the fruit in front of the bird. You watch it unfold, the pigeon hops on the table, beak pecking at the seeds. You're intrigued at their interaction.

John sips at his drink, still in his sleep clothes. Toned arms in full display from the loose tank top he sports. Pajama pants hanging low on his hips, silk bonnet on his head. He only has one sock on his feet, you tilt your head.

“What happened to your sock?” You point at his bare foot curiously.

“Hmm?” He looks down, and he chuckles like he just realized the missing article of clothing. “Don't know, probably kicked it off while I was sleepin’”

“Oh,” you blink, “you should get ready, we might miss our target.”

He fakes salutes at you, drinking casually from his mug as you leave the rooftop. He doesn't miss how you didn't take your dish with you. Sighing, he watches the pigeon eat his fill.

—

You and John arrive at a pub. It's dim inside with only a few miserable patrons sitting sparsely at different corners of the musty establishment. They all look miserable, all having expressions from different points of the human emotion. But there's only one face you're observing— your target.

He sits alone on the bar stool, back hunched, eyes red and nursing a half filled pint of beer. Holding his face in his hand, blond hair raked in between his fingers, bomber jacket hanging loosely on his form, bags under his sagging eyes. He's the picture of someone who's on the bottom of the barrel.

John guides you with his hand hovering on your back. Not touching, at the same time still close, you are supposed to be a couple after all. You slide into a booth that has the perfect view of the target, but still out of his sight and out of earshot. The leather seat is worn down, tiny bits of it are ripped, at least it's not sticky. He orders for you, and you observe how he slyly roams his eyes towards the man, looking out for the keys.

He comes back with a plate of chips and dip. “Thought it would be weird not to order anythin’”

“Good call,” you take a chip whilst your eyes only briefly leave the target's back. “Thought you'd buy me a pint.”

“Did you want a pint? This early? Do you want to talk about it?” He half jokes as he takes a smaller chip.

“No,” you scoff, “and no. I just thought you'd order it instead of this.”

“You're not the only perceptive one in this relationship.” John looks over his shoulder to quickly do a once over at the forlorn man.

“Did you see where he's keeping it?”

“Inside his jacket, right side.”

You nod, “Is he carrying?”

“Not that I can tell.” He shrugs, licking the salt off his finger. “So, why'd you join?”

“Really? We're doing that?” You watch as the man gulps down his remaining drink and then orders a new one immediately.

“Yes, we're doin' that. Won't that make us work better together? To get to know each other a bit more?”

“Fine,” you silently huff. “No one else would take me, this is a last resort, I guess?”

“Bullshit, love, I think anyone would be happy to have you in their…agency?”

“Flattery won't get you anywhere, birdman.” A small smile appears on your lips, he beams at you. “Besides, who else is hiring for someone with the specific skill set that I have?”

He hums, while turning subtly to take a peek at the target. Returning his attention to you after seeing the blonde man still hunched in his stool, John takes another chip. “True, did you get kicked out from the last one?”

“Not really,” you stare at the crack on the wooden table. “You?”

“Not really,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes.

“You MI6?” He asks casually. “This your first time in London?”

“I'm not answering either of those questions.”

“C’mon,” he wiggles his left hand, the wedding band shines in the pub light. “Husband, remember? ‘sides, I won't tell anyone.”

You place your elbows on the table, smiling sarcastically at him. After a beat for his anticipation, you grin wider. “No.”

His shoulders fall, a chortle escaping his lips. “Cheeky.” Pointing an accusing finger at you, he quickly looks behind him, only to find the target sluggishly exiting the pub. “He's on the move.”

You both follow the drunk man like gravity is pulling you towards him. Walking the streets of busy downtown London, stranger's faces whizz past you. John has his hands casually in his pockets, yet he stays close to you, eyes flicking in the corners to check on you.

“Why don't you ask me a question? Y’know tit for tat?” He waits patiently for you to answer back, hell he'll even take a grunt at this point.

“Okay,” you surprisingly start the conversation on his behalf. “Have you killed anyone?” The passing pedestrians don't seem to notice you and the morbid subject.

Your partner snorts, nose scrunched up, eyes glued on the staggering target. “Nah. Have you?”

“I call bullshit,” you dodge a distracted woman scrolling on her phone. “Anyway, I have. I'm not exactly proud of it or flaunting it if you're thinking that I'm doing that.”

“Good, once you start flaunting it like a bloody trophy, you've lost it.”

You hum in agreement, the sound of a deep rumble in your chest as you two turn a corner. “Why do you think hihi needs us to nick the car?”

“Hihi” he chuckles, you turn to him with a serious face. “There's probably a stash of confidential information in the trunk or somethin’”

“Maybe a stash of weapons?” The man in front of you stumbles. “I don't see him as the type to harbor secret documents.”

John nods, “a highly infectious disease then?”

“Christ, we better drive carefully once we get a hold of it.” You turn to him briefly. “Maybe it's a really expensive sports car and he's all sad and mopey because he's gone broke after buying it?”

“Got a whole story now, huh?” He pushes you lightly with his leather clad shoulder, and you smile softly. “You good at pickpocketing him?” Your partner gestures with his chin, said target is walking into traffic. He seems unbothered by the oncoming vehicles. John curses under his breath.

“We should do that now before he kills himself.” You speed walk across the crossing, grabbing the drunk man before a car hits him.

Arms enveloping around his bomber jacket, swiping him away and quickly carrying him to the footpath, you save him before an suv hits you both. The car honks loudly and angrily as your target groans in your arms like he's about to hurl the contents of his stomach.

John punches the hood of the car, pointing at the driver accusingly. A distraction for you to take the keys hidden in the man's jacket.

“You almost hit my fuckin' wife, you wanker!” Your partner yells, covering the sound of jingling keys in your expert hand. He plays the part well.

Surprisingly, the target straightens up in your hold, a split second after you pocketed the car keys inside your own coat.

“Y-you,” he slurs, feet struggling to keep himself upright. “Dickhead!” Slamming his fists on the hood with a loud *thunk, he joins John who gives you a look and a shrug. The drunken yelling gets louder and the driver now exits his car with an equally angry look.

John takes this opportunity to come back to your side, hand holding your elbow, he leads you away from the screaming match as more and more people try to intervene.

“Got it?” He whispers closely to the shell of your ear, sending goosebumps to rise in your arms.

“‘course I did.” You jingle the keys inside your pocket. “I'm not an amateur.”

Playing along, he laughs, hand still holding your elbow softly. “Good job, missus.”

With an awkward chuckle, you lean away from him. “Just so you know, I'm not in this for…the romance.” You bite the inside of your cheek. “I'm not looking to date my co-worker.”

John raises his hands in mock surrender. “Fine by me. if the situation calls for us to actually act as a couple—”

“We'll act as a couple, I won't fuss if that's what you're saying.”

“Good, now let's get this bloody car.”

—

“A fucking ‘99 toyota corolla?” You stare in disbelief at the rusting metal. “At least it's one of the good models.” Kicking the wheel, you expect it to tumble over like in an old timey cartoon.

John is crouched way down to check the bottom of the car. “It's clear.” He stands up fully, cleaning his hands on his jeans. You wince at his movements. “What?”

“Nothing.” You open the driver's side, the smell of alcohol and something musty hits your nose. “Nasty.” Coughing, you air it out by opening another door.

“You know your cars?”

“A little bit.” You say with your nose pinched. Sparing him a look, he stands in the parking lot like he's still waiting for the rest of the story. “What?”

“Throw me a bone here, love.” You roll your eyes. “Why do you know so much about cars?”

“I said I know a little bit.” You place your hands on your hips like an exasperated mother whose son keeps asking weird questions about dinosaurs. “I dated a mechanic.” You say flatly.

“Really? Did you date a pickpocket too? Or do you date people so you could absorb their skills like kirby?”

“Are you jealous?” You tease him with a comment you didn't have the foresight that it would backfire.

“We are married.” He says matter-of-fact with a killer smirk and eyes glinting with mischief. “And this is technically our honeymoon so—”

“Get in the fucking car, birdman.”

—

The wheel is sticky under your hands, you have an intense urge to wash your hands or to at least grab a sanitizer. Apparently your disgust shows on your face, for John chortles next to you.

“What?” You say through gritted teeth.

“Nothin’, you just look like someone shat in your tea.”

“The wheel is sticky.”

“I have a handkerchief with me, d’you want me to?” Taking out the dark green cloth from his jean pockets, he's already twisting in his seat to wipe it clean.

“Please,” you ask softly, hands sliding down to make space for him.

Your hand never left the wheel while he cleans it for you. John's seatbelt is unclasped so he could have more movement, his face is close to your vision, warmth blanketing over you. He's so close that you can smell his cologne, it's a different one from yesterday, it's more flowery with a hint of mint. You spot a hidden mole under his ear. A tiny dot that is just begging to be poked.

Without thinking, you press softly with the pad of your finger. He yelps, flinching away instinctively. Looking at you with wide eyes and mouth agape, you're ready to be called a nasty nickname, or be cussed out with a loud voice. Instead of what you're anticipating, a laugh bellows out, a rumbly laugh that makes you smile and let out an almost silent chortle.

“I think you found my mole.” John holds the side of his neck with a grin. “You let your urges get to you, love.”

“Sorry,” you keep your eyes on the road to hide your embarrassment.

“It's fine, your hand was just cold. Ask me next time, I have a few more cute moles on me.”

“Nevermind, you ruined it.” With a roll of your eyes and a smile, you park at the coordinates. “Nice acting back there, I see an Emmy nomination for you in the future.”

“Thanks, I barely remember what I said. You sure this is the place?” John peeks at the map pulled up on your phone. “Shit, we're here.”

The entire street is suburban, large colonial houses lining the sides, tall pine trees decorate the sidewalks. There's not a lot of people walking by, save for a couple pedestrians walking their dogs, the place is devoid of people.

“What now?” You unclasp your seatbelt to twist around in your seat so you could observe the neighborhood.

“Hihi told us to bring it here, so maybe we should—?” John lets out a high pitched scream that also has you yelling in surprise, not from whatever made him shriek but from the sound that escaped him. “What the fuck!”

Leaning slightly to look at what had his knickers in a bunch, you stare blankly at a bespectacled man in a bespoke suit. The man gives you and your partner an apologetic look, he points for John to open the window.

He turns towards you with an eyebrow raised. “Should I?”

“Yeah, I think you should.”

“What if he's got a gun?” He whispers.

“We also have guns, John. I'll cover you, don't worry. Maybe this is what hihi asked us to do.”

“Easy for you to say, you're not the one opening it.” He gives you a glare before rolling the window down an inch. “Hi, mate. What can we do for you?”

“The car,” the stranger points a lengthy finger at the wheel. His voice is crackly and gravelly, like he just smoked a pack of cigarettes before he went up to the car. “You're late, but that doesn't matter. How much do I owe you, folks?”

“Uh, the usual.” You say with fake confidence.

“Good,” the lean man straightens up, “mind gettin’ out of the car then?”

“Right, sorry, bruv.” John, gives you one look before exiting the car. He's nervous and so are you.

As the doors shut, the man flexes his open palms expectantly for the keys, to which you hand off immediately. He gives you bad vibes, maybe your intuition tells you to run for the hills.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I'll wire the money to the usual account.” The nickname sends shivers down your spine.

He closes the door and starts up the car. With a splutter of the exhaust, he slowly drives away. You and John watch, standing side by side in the middle of the street in confusion.

“He was weird, right? Not to mention it was too easy.” You turn your head to look at him. “Maybe they're trying to ease us in?”

“It was all weird, not just him—” A blast coming from the car interrupts him, the sheer force of it sends you two down on the rough pavement.

Your cheeks are incredibly warm from the searing heat of the bomb. The light from it blinds the two of you.

Palms skinned, trousers slashed at the knees, your ears ring loudly like an annoying buzz from a broken microphone. Coughing loudly, smoke fills your lungs, debris is scattered around the once pristine neighborhood. There's blood on the concrete, you can't hear John calling for you, your vision is blurred by the cloud of smoke. His hand reaches for you, and your instincts tell you to run.

“Fuck!” He yells, running beside you at full speed. “What the fuck!”

“Keep running!” You yell as he turns around to check on a woozy you. “I'm fine!”

Someone behind you screams for you to stop so you and your partner run faster. Knees aching, thighs burning, you don't stick around to look who's running after you. The unmistakable click of a gun’s safety is loud in your eardrums, even if your lungs threaten to give out, you sprint right next to John as he turns a corner and into a carwash.

The smell of soap and heavy pine scented car freshener hits your bloody nose. He tugs you towards the plastic curtains and inside what you presume as the employee lounge, someone yells after you but it falls on deaf ears as you and John continue your escape.

Exiting the establishment, the metal doors open to a messy alleyway. Boxes upon boxes of trash and god knows what are littered all around. The pungent smell makes you want to hurl, or maybe that's the adrenaline having a weird effect on your stomach.

You two find reprieve for a second, huffing, trying to get oxygen back in. Hands on your aching thighs, the concrete below you slowly turns crimson as your mysterious injury drips precious blood on the messy ground.

“You're bleedin’” He says in between inhales. There's rustling of fabric next to you, and you feel the warm cloth placed on your forehead.

“No shit, Sherlock.” Waving the drenched cloth away, you scoff lightly. “Don't.”

“What am I supposed to do? Let you bleed?”

You stand up straight, blood coating your lashes as you stare at him. “I've got a better idea.” Placing your palms on the source of the pain, you let your blood coat it.

“What—?” You roughly smudge the warm ichor all over his face and shirt, the plain white of his t-shirt turns a dark pink shade with your touch. Leaning away, he gives you a slow nod of understanding. “Ease us in, huh?”

“I'm rarely wrong and this is one of the rare instances.”

“Let's hope you're right about this one.”

—

You kick the backdoor open with ferocity. It bangs loud against the wall, getting the restaurant staff's attention.

“Help please! My husband!” John's limp arm is around your shoulders, your hand gripping on to his waist to add that one detail that would convince them of your innocence. “There was a bomb!” You don't let the bystanders touch you or John whilst you quickly lumber through their dinghy bathroom. There's murmurs and chairs scraping on the tiled floors as you lock the door behind you.

The bathroom is small, tiles yellowed from the years, the stench of bleach itching your nose. The lightbulb above you whirs like it's about to burst out. He leaves your side to take off his bloodied jacket, tossing it outside from the window— his exit, you presume.

“Your phone.” He holds his empty hand out to you, when you only raise an eyebrow at him, he sighs, eyes turning soft, adrenaline melting out of his system. “Please, c’mon, love, you got me sayin’ please and shit.”

“What for?” You try desperately to wipe the blood off your face.

“To contact you, just in case you need help.”

“I can handle it.”

“I know you can, how else did you get the job then? Just let me,” his voice wavers a bit but he corrects himself with a timed clear of his smoke filled throat. “Please, Jane.”

After pausing, you take your phone out from your pocket to give it to him. He enters his number after seeing your home screen of a basic mountain range.

“There.” Giving the phone back, you expected him to give his too, but he doesn't as he's already halfway out of the window. “I'll see you at home?”

You let out a chuckle, “yeah, I'll see you at home.” He gives you one last smile as he exits the small bathroom and into the streets where numerous sirens go off from ambulances and fire trucks.

—

It was a blur the entire trip home, you bought a loose hoodie from a thrift store and then promptly discarded your blood soaked coat in the bottom of a dumpster. It was a shame though, you liked that coat, it had real wool in the lining. The uber drive was thankfully uneventful, if the driver noticed the remnants of dried blood on your skin he didn't mention it. You gave him five stars for it.

An empty house greets you, John's shoes are nowhere to be seen in the hallway, nor his jacket. You worry for a second, mind rushing through possibilities. The rubber band burns as you pull it back and release it with a harsh thwack against your skin.

The water is cool as you shower, your blood mixing in and pooling around your feet and into the drain like a macabre whirlpool. You don't let your mind wonder about the man that you turned into a street pancake. Instead, you focus on yourself in the mirror.

You stare at the gash near your hairline, the skin around it is angry, leaving a throbbing sensation. There's also a few scratches on your face, especially around your chin. Your main concern is the large gash. It doesn't look like it needs to be stitched together though, which is a good thing since you don't have the energy to even tend to the tiny scratches on your palms. Cleaning and bandaging the wound, you put on clean pajamas and head to bed.

You stop in your tracks when you see John lying face down on your bed. Still in his iron soaked clothes, save for the jacket. You glare at his boot, it's off the bed but you still grit your teeth at the thought of it grazing your bedsheets.

He senses your presence, and he lifts his head up, chin helping prop himself up. “Your bed is better than mine.” His multi coloured eyes are laced with exhaustion, dull yet there's still a spark when he looks at your annoyed gaze.

“Who are you? Goldilocks?”

“Yeah, I ate your porridge too.”

“Damn, not my porridge.” Too tired to fight him, you slither into bed next to him, an arm's length away from his equally tired body. Staring at the ceiling, you feel his eyes on you. “What's up with your eyes?”

“It's called heterochromia—”

“I know what it is, I'm asking why you're staring at me like you're about to devour me.”

“I could devour you if you want.” He says nonchalantly but with the charisma of a man who knows what he's talking about.

“Maybe next time.” You blindly pat his shoulder which ended up with you patting his cheek. He hums at your touch, a deep rumble that you felt through the mattress. “Not bad for our first day huh?” Lifting your hand away, he twists on the bed to mirror your position. Now you're both gazing at the beige ceiling like it owes you money.

You're tired but for some reason you're fighting off the sandman from sprinkling sand in your heavy eyes.

“I lied back there, I've killed before.” His voice is merely above a whisper but you heard it as loud as a trumpet blaring in your ears.

“I know, you wouldn't be here if you haven't.” You answer with empathy. “If it makes you feel better, I've been to London before. Twice, on a family trip and a decade later…on vacation.”

“Glad to know.” He taps the inside of your elbow as a thank you for trusting him. “You CIA?” He blurts out above the comfortable silence.

“God no.” You truthfully say.

“And here I thought you're an alumni of the culinary institute of America.”

For the first time in years, you let out the loudest laugh you could muster. Snort and all.

Your ‘husband’ joins in with his own rambunctious laughter, the bed shakes at the loud guffaws. The happy sound fills the room, and your heart feels like it isn't as heavy as before. It's still there, the heaviness, but it isn't as cumbersome. You now realize that you've only snapped the rubber band on your wrist a couple times today.

An annoying tapping sound interrupts you both. Simultaneously sitting up by the elbows, you two tilt your head at the intruder.

“It's that pigeon again.” You actually smile at the thought of the same bird coming back to your house like a white strand of hair that keeps growing even after you've pulled it out. “I think we should name him. Something like Terry or Flanders.” You chuckle softly.

“Jeff.”

You shake your head. “Nope, doesn't suit him, what if it's a she?”

“His name is Jeff.” John turns to look at you, eyes full of certainty.

You turn to him, blinking rapidly in realization. “He's yours. He's your bird, isn't he?”

“You are insightful.” He smiles, a soft one that fills you with endearment that you haven't felt in years. “Met him a few months ago, fed him once and now he wouldn't leave me alone. I guess he followed me here too.”

“Y’know, pigeons are really smart, kinda like crows. He probably thinks you're his daddy.”

“Does that make you Jeff's mummy?”

“I don't want to be Jeff's mom.” Said bird taps on your window again, like he senses that you're currently talking about him.

“Too bad,” he raises his marriage finger, showing you the gold band. “He's our kid, love.”

You smile, hiding it with a huff and by laying back down with a gentle thump.

“Can I tell you somethin’?” His face pops up in your vision, you nod in place. “My real name is—”

“Let me stop you right there.” You sit back up, almost hitting his head with your own at how fast you sat. “There's a reason why they gave us fake names. Whether we like it or not, It's John,” You point at him. “And Jane Smith.” You point at yourself. “Until they dismiss us, that's our names. Not whatever you were about to tell me.”

“But you know it's not our names, right?”

“Of course I do. You don't look like a John, John.”

“And you don't look like a Jane. I just…” He sighs. “Just want someone to know my real name. We almost died back there, what if we stayed a minute longer inside that car? What then? I don't want to die with someone else's name written on my grave.” His words are genuine, but it sounds like he has said these words before.

Still, you sympathize with him. You've gone undercover before, taken someone’s name instead of yours for months. Those missions were so long and tiring that you almost forgot your own name. But it was…survivable because he was with you. John has no one, and this time you have no one. No one that calls your real name, no one that can identify your body if you suddenly croak in the middle of a mission.

No one else but John and Jane Smith.

So with bated breath, you give him the go ahead. “Okay, tell me. But I can't promise that I'll call you by that name.”

“Don't want to get in trouble with hihi?”

“No,” you scoff. “I don't give a shit what that robot says. I just don't want to die with a stranger's name. So fuck it, tell me yours and I'll mine.”

He smiles the same smile that he gave you before he went out of that dinky bathroom window. The smile that reassures you, a smile that tells you everything will be alright.

“It's Hobie,” Hobie finally says. “Hobie Brown.”

“It suits you better. Thought it was Jeff.” You whisper, and you give him your real name. The same name you were born with, not the fabricated ones your former agency has given you, not the ones your new company has given you.

He whispers back your name, tongue rolling off it like honey. Then, Hobie smiles again, nodding and those heterochromatic eyes bore into you comfortably like the sun's rays kissing your skin in the summer.

“You look like one. Definitely suits you better than Jane.” You smile shyly as you lose the fight against sandman.

In Hobie's mind, he hopes that knowing your real name is enough, enough to keep you alive, enough of an incentive for him to keep you safe, since you're not just a typical Jane anymore that the company randomly selected for him, no, you're Y/N L/N, and he'll do anything to protect you better. Because maybe, just maybe, knowing your real name this early would work, and you'll outlive all the Janes that he himself has outlived.

As you fall asleep next to him, he stares at Jeff the third. In that luxurious house, within those bulletproof walls, and in your room lies a deep anger in him. An anger that keeps him sane in all those years trying to pay his debt. He needs to end the cycle, not just for him but for all the agents that are in the same shoes as him. For now he lets you sleep soundly, for now, he plots the demise of the people behind the screen.

The laptop flashes a new message from the company.

> Mission complete: 3 fails remaining

> Good job, next mission?

Support banner by @cafekitsune ❤️

A/N: thank you for reading!!! Please consider reblogging if you liked it ❤️❤️❤️

[miraigis]

TMAGP THEORY - EXTERNALS AND THE INSTITUTE

i just finished binging tmp and my personal theory regarding the origins of externals is that they are results of failed alchemy transmutations / failed alchemy "experiments" in general / using previous alchemists's works that were related to the "great work"

like for an example of the last one: inksoul trying to replicate the designs of an old alchemist/artist only for their tattoos to become supernatural as they did it and over time that power started to kind of nestle inside them and take over them.

most if not all externals so far have had mutilated and/or inhuman bodies (needles on skin, literal mascot with organs, etc) and i think its safe to assume that they were people who experimented on by the magnus institute, in order to serve their "great work" whatever it is.

we HAVE seen human transmutation attempts in canon before, specifically in sam's "statement" which takes place at the institute.

hell i think that the "gifted child program" may have been to find suitable human bodies to "experiment" on and try transmutations OR to raise possible future alchemists to aid in the great work

now for my thoughts regarding the archivist, the external that arguably has the strongest connection to the institute. since the institute operates differently in this universe i believe the archive's purpose would be to document and, well, archive past works of other alchemists, sort of like a catalogue or a reference. or if it was statements again (which is also likely due to its tendencies to take people's statements and kill them) it could be statements about the people's encounters with the institute's failed experiments, sort of like? risk assessment? now, the archivist is described with many eyes and wearing old rags. which implies that its been around for a while so my guess is that the archivist is just a failed experiment that never left the institute. OR it was intentionally mutated into a creature whose sole purpose was to feed on fear and encounters

idk man its one am and im shaking cuz i watched like 10 episodes today and finally caught up.. honestly i dont know if this is a previously thought or widely accepted theory in the fandom, i was just randomly thinking while going through the wiki and then ran to tumblr to gather my thoughts, u guys r my favorite autism dump website

[radioroxx]

*slides you $500 in monopoly money* spare deets about the isafrin kids? i love them soooooooo much and would love love love to know even more!!!

like!! how did they get wished into existence? were they just There one day as small kids, or did they come as babies? did aurore come first and then eile? and isafrin!!! they look different!!?!!?! love love love love postcanon designs and would love to hear your thoughts on them (and! their bonding earrings??)

I WROTE THIS OUT AND REALIZED HOW STUPID LONG IT IS SO. ITS GOING UNDER A CUT. WOWZERS

Ok first- WISH BABIES!!!

uh. uhm. uh

ahah. oops!!

though we did get to discussing a few options after getting this ask (more like. i. asked them. and they provided. im not the thinker in this group. hehe!)

(@chromatasia )

for context on this one- i believe a while ago we also talked about wishing involving sacrificing? the idea of givinf up a piece of yourself (sometimes physically, like hair) to help power a wish! or link yourself to it?

a second option (three whole screenshots…)

(@unregisteredskybox )

carve your own baby!! yay!

general idea for our fankids though is that yes, they were created super young. and as babies. so aurore wouldve been crafted a few years before eilé :)

so yea ur two options <3 pick i guess lol. i dont have a solid idea there.

the second half of your questions- yes!! isafrin! theyre older and different!! wahoo!

the older isafrin designs were moreso. i wanted to have a little fun and made them. lawl. but now i get an excuse to share anyway :) so here!!

numbered the details to make it a lil easier. also dont mind these r quick scribbles,,

1- general outfits and stuff. siffrins i wanted to keep mostly similar to how i usually draw them. sleeveless top, horrible and unnecessary amount of belts,, knowing that hes maybe not as eager to change as some others might be. they are comfortable in their style and thats what matters. for isabeau i wanted to keep a familiar vibe, but still change it up. i think he would still wear clothes that are flowy-er etc etc, buuut yeayeayea. not an outfits guy really so jfkf theyre pretty simple.

2- themb!! they look different! siffrins hair is longer obv obv, and no lightless dye anymore. they tie it back usually, but he still likes it long. also some facial hair. important to me. (you may also notice lack of eyepatch,, personal hc that siffrin gets more comfortable without it after making up with bonnie some more. that he maybe depending on it a lot because he thought it would make them uncomfortable, which theyyy dont have to worry about. anymore! so less eyepatch. sometimes still though). isa on the other hand looks mooostly the same! except. ofc. bigger beard. you guys should know i love my beards by now. lawl. other than that mostly the same,, physical pain in me trying to think of a different hairstyle for him… maybe in the future but for now he gets This.

3- new cloak-thing for sif! his regular cloak is probably much more well suited for the travelling lifestyle, much less the domestic stay-at-home lifestyle, soo they changed it up! (and totally not an excuse for isabeau to try out craft stitching nooo definitely not as practice for the future whaat who said that.) they will still wear the old cloak occasionally, buuut not as often as they used to.

4- finally! bonding earrings!!! yes! the designs themselves are pretty simple. squares and change symbols for the design sif made for isa, and a star with bits that go ding-ding that isa made for sif. more importantly, siffrin carved the earrings himself! it is. hard. to do that. a design that is so small. there were many failed attempts and scraped ideas but they got it done! and isa loves them very much. for isas design, the main star part is glass, and the dangling bits are carved gems (picture isabeau, panicking because this is siffrin hes making these for so it needs to be perfect. and he gets odile to help him, because despite all the teasing she is ofc very fond, and helps him out with that aspect of the design.)

ok thats all - bye bye bye

[edwardos]

A note on Minecraft informants and how The Golden Age frequently gets defined:

You may have heard the words "The Golden Age" be used to describe a period in Minecraft history where the game was different and supposedly more special in a way, before. You also may have seen some YouTubers fallaciously hard-define it as "versions from Minecraft Alpha to Minecraft Release 1.2".

If you felt a shudder at seeing Release 1.2 in there, you probably know where this is going.

This is happening a lot, because people don't dig very deep when they make their analyses, and I think it's just an interpretation of the rules in the sidebar of that /r/GoldenAgeMinecraft subreddit.

For your information, in 2024, it looks like:

Which would make sense, if versions allowed in the rules had to match versions that the forum title is explicitly about.

But they're not, and in 2020 it actually said:

That should raise a few questions. One of them could be "does a version have to be a part of the Golden Age just because the rules say you can post it here?" I'd say no. No it doesn't.

Finally, in 2019, it said:

So what's actually happening here, why the drift?

Well, this drift was a somewhat sensitive issue on the subreddit, once upon a time. I remember somebody asking (not word for word) "This is it, right? The amount of newer versions that are included won't go any further?"

It didn't really represent a growing range of versions that had been vindicated by history. People didn't come to the realization some day that Minecraft 1.2 was a more amazing time in history than they used to give it credit for. Minecraft 1.2 is part of the Silver Age. And I personally just so happen to remember it fondly.

The catch is that people on the subreddit just liked being allowed to post stuff from later versions than is normal in a retro MC forum. Versions like Minecraft 1.0.0 were an aside. It didn't change the consensus to actually include release Minecraft 1.0.0 in the list of versions that were special in the same way as Alpha 1.2.6 or Beta 1.4.

You can actually find posts there that are well outside of even the newest range of permitted instances. Stuff like "What do you think of the new ores in 1.17? let's discuss it" and the posts will have plenty of upvotes, and you get insulted if you try to call it out, even though it blatantly ignores the rules. And I was basically attacked for daring to mess with block textures in an uncommon way with my starting Beta 1.8 mod for some reason, it's a stupid and shitty community.

The truth is that Beta 1.8 is a terrible version, and it set the standard for a lot of updates that would make the game vastly different than it was during the real golden age. No matter how much people like Minecraft FR 1.2, or just have fond memories of it or whatever other reason they own that it speaks to them, the gameplay of those old vanilla versions will not reconcile. Beta 1.8 had an updated and unfavorably-remembered terrain generator and brought hunger and sprinting which messed with the balance of night's threat level, and further versions added enchanting and, at the point of FR 1.6, a much more severe hunger system. Which people also sometimes try to say is in the Golden Age.

Look, I'm not trying to be a killjoy here, and I hope I don't stop having 50 followers, or get the ultra-predictable "old man yells at cloud nostalgia!" response, but we need to be careful about how we designate the meaning of "The Golden Age" for Minecraft. As far as I recall, the meter had already been set. Minecraft Classic to Minecraft Beta 1.7.3.

But if we lump more versions into it, there's no telling how much slippage we'll see in the future. One day somebody might tell you that Phantoms and the EULA oppression are in the golden age. It would be like saying that Abraham Lincoln was part of The Renaissance because Abraham Lincoln was cool. People might tell me the "golden versions" is a subjective range, but that's just it: I don't think it should be subjective. Subjectivity is a bad idea when you're defining eras of history. And the versions that came out in 2011 will always be the versions that came out in 2011. They don't change.

If we can't all agree on one solid golden age definition, we should at least take the time to replay the versions we want to praise to make sure we understand them recently, or just to look into things more than just "that sidebar has that version and the forum name says those words so there must be a link." Minecraft Beta before The Adventure Update was really good, and unique in a way that Alpha was too, and you'd be amazed at how many problems Beta 1.8 has. While working on my mod I realized that it appears to have been a rushed stepping stone made so that Mojang could get to the prereleases leading to Release 1.0.0 as quickly as possible. It's got oodles of things that would have to be fixed before it could be an acceptable standalone version of the game. Why do you think NBODE has been taking so long to come out?

[seoul-bros]

Face Reviews

Grammy

Though he may seem delicate at first glance, Jimin demonstrates his unpredictability and willingness to take risks on FACE. He exposes emotions that may be tough to divulge in relatable ways, while also creating music that simply sounds good.

Challenging himself with intense choreography, rapping and bold conceptual choices, Jimin's first solo project proves he's a visionary in his own right. FACE offers an impressive introduction to Jimin's abilities as a solo performer — and a promising one at that.

Consequence

Many of Jimin’s solo tracks in BTS’s extensive discography are sweet, tender, or more in the ballad space; it’s absurdly fun getting to see him prioritize harder edges, beat drops, and R&B influences with this project. Its six tracks wrap all too quickly, and while it was specified that Jimin doesn’t consider this a full-length project, it does leave the listener craving more music in this vein somewhere down the road — it’s worth repeating that the energy of “Face-off” is one that he should consider chasing most of all.

Nylon

If Jimin’s previous works were bubbling whispers, Face is an honest scream into the void. The album wrestles with self-inflicted torment but ends on a new beginning as an artist as he shows off a previously unseen creativity through his use of personal snippets and clips. Listeners now meet Jimin as he stands in unfamiliar territory, one that exhibits his desire to evolve beyond the BTS title, at the cusp of something even greater to come.

Quietus

Jimin’s Face is, perhaps, one of the most anticipated solo projects from BTS since he is one of those members whose tones we didn’t get to hear so often – only a limited number of times on the solo tracks of BTS albums and one or two songs here and there. While it’s a short EP, it doesn’t disappoint. If anything, he presents himself as a soloist with an unexpected sound for his high-pitched countertenor voice and very far from those earlier ballads we have heard from him.

NME

FACE’ might not be flawless but even in its missteps it reflects the turbulence of modern life – and especially of the last few years. If Jimin’s mission on this record was to stretch himself creatively and distil that dissonance in these songs, it’s one he’s accomplished.

Junkee

Though the tracklist is short — six tracks in total, including one musical interlude and an English version of the title track, “Like Crazy” — FACE offers a cohesive narrative that takes the listener on an emotional journey with Jimin. As though moving through the stages of grief, we explore his anger, denial, and depression, before finally moving to acceptance and a determination to overcome.

The Harvard Crimson

While mini albums as short as “FACE” — just five tracks and an English version of “Like Crazy” — can often sound like a disjointed collection of B-sides, the album sets itself apart through seamless transitions that takes listeners from track to track telling a cohesive story of doubt and discovery. While each song can be listened to individually, it’s clear that it was designed to be listened to from start to finish in a single setting. With a runtime of just under 20 minutes, Jimin takes listeners on a journey of heartbreak, avoidance, introspection, loneliness, and eventually, hesitant self-acceptance.

Rolling Stone

Post Date: 24/03/2024

[bonesandblood-sunandmoon]

Follow up to poll: Are you interested in a Jumblr/Jewish themed Tumblr Community?

Trying to come up with community guidelines is a bit harder than I thought it would be. These aren't final versions, but I kind of need to talk it out a bit. (Feedback is okay. Insults for even thinking that something needs tagged for filtering will in all likelihood be ignored.)

1) This space is open to anti-Zionists, non-Zionists, post-Zionists, Zionists, and those who don't use any Zionist related labels. Discussion of what Zionism does or does not mean for individual members and historical resources are allowed, but use tags for filtering: antizionism, zionism.

Goal of this guideline: Please don't do "are you a good Jew or bad Jew" type questioning. Prepare yourself for being in a space where self-identified Zionists might be.

2) No using an identity or trait to belittle, insult, encourage violence, or designate a group that should be killed. This includes but isn't strictly limited to: gender/sex, disabled status, physical appearance, mental illness, sexuality, ethnicity, race/skin color, nationality (including Israelis), veterans (including those who served in the Israeli Defense Forces), and a perceived identity (including "Zionists"). After three warnings, a member will be removed from the community.

Goal of this guideline: Mostly, don't be an asshole. However, I also do not want to have someone try to argue that whatever they're saying about "all Zionists" actually means Israelis, IDF veterans or active service members, or otherwise.

3) Discussion of antisemitism including historical tropes, resources for learning more about it, and personal experiences with it are allowed in the community. However, this type of post must be tagged for filtering: antisemitism. Please keep in mind Guideline 2 when sharing posts responding to antisemitism. Posts that engage in ableism against antisemites, counter suicide bait with threats of violence, counter rape denialism with statements that the person should experience sexual violence themself, or otherwise might be more appropriate as a vent post on a personal blog should err on the side of not being shared into the community.

Goal of this guideline: I don't want someone to feel like they can't ever discuss antisemitism, but like... I really don't want to have to encounter someone 'asking for a friend' if they could hurt a person who posted something antisemitic that was basically a torture scenario again.

I can understand that people need a space to vent or that arguments don't always show the best side of oneself, but you know, I also don't want someone to say that 'could you not call people you disagree with brain damaged [R-slurs] that are too stupid to breathe if you're reblogging into the comm' is infringing on their unquestionable little vent post.

4) Some members may want to share answers to anonymous asks where they've shared something substantive (i.e. compiled organizations to donate to, talked about Jewish history, talked about media literacy), even if the original ask contained death threats, suicide bait, or other antisemitic remarks. For now, those posts are allowed in the community but must use an appropriate tag for filtering: anon hate. (If there's encouragement for someone to commit suicide, add: suicide bait.) This guideline may be re-evaluated in the future, especially if members aren't tagging anon hate and/or suicide bait when sharing into the community. For filtering consistency, use 'anon hate' even if someone left a hateful ask while identified.

Goal of this guideline: I don't want to have to come up with some sort of rubric on types of anon hate and what's too hateful, and I don't want to have to go through every hateful ask that someone did put something substantive for to figure out if it's alright.

5) Some members may want to post information or updates about October 7th, the hostages, and/or the war between Hamas and Israel that other members may not want to see. Or at least, they may not want to be surprised by the imagery or details from reports and first-hand accounts. Appropriate tags should be used for filtering: sexual violence, graphic violence, graphic imagery, Israel-Hamas war, October 7, hostages in Gaza.

Goal of this guideline: I fully expect these topics to come up in some way, and I would rather have clear tagging for filtering purposes than pretend that no one will ever want to post about these topics.

6) Using 'Jumblr' as a general catch-all tag within the community is allowed even if the post isn't reblogged to the Jumblr tag. Other tags are highly encouraged but not mandatory: advice wanted, art, books, brachot, fandom [as a catch-all], fast days [as a catch-all for that type of holiday], halacha, Holocaust [or Shoah], jewish creators, jewish history, jewish languages [catch-all for language learning resources, though the individual language can also be tagged], jewish representation, kashrut, mezuzah, minhagim [possible catch-all, though the specific minhag can also be tagged], movies, music, recipes, siddur, Shabbat, tallit, tefilin, tv shows, tzedakah, prayer; and holidays: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, Hanukkah, Tu B'Shevat, Purim, Pesach, Sefirat Ha'Omer, Yom HaShoah, Lag B'Omer, Shavuot, and others (Mimouna, Sigd, Yom HaZikaron, etc.).

Goal of this guideline: As far as I'm aware, I can't actually have a list of tags that someone should use [similar to Dreamwidth communities], but I would like to encourage people to use tags.

7) Members are encouraged to make their image containing posts accessible via providing enough text explanation before an image to functionally describe it, using Tumblr's alt text feature (character limit is suited to short descriptions), or adding a description of the image within the body of the post. Various accounts assist with image descriptions including @/jumblr-described [English] and @/israblr-described [Hebrew].

Goal of this guideline: Please think about accessibility (image version).

8) Members are encouraged to provide enough text explanation before a video or audio clip to describe what should be there if a link embed fails. If possible, members are also encouraged to share captioned videos and link to an available transcript if the audio has it. Various accounts assist with writing transcripts or video descriptions including @/jumblr-described [English] and @/israblr-described [Hebrew].

Goal of this guideline: Please think about accessibility (audio version). I don't know if I've had some internet issues, but I've also had some video embeds just not load at all. Without any indication of what the video should be, I'm not interacting with a random seemingly-empty post.

9) A member who doesn't tag, mistags, or purposefully uses misleading tags to circumvent the ability to filter out the type of content they're posting will be warned and given the chance to correct their tagging. The tags for filtering have been listed in Guidelines 1 through 5: antizionism, zionism, antisemitism, anon hate, suicide bait, sexual violence, graphic violence, graphic imagery, Israel-Hamas war, October 7, hostages in Gaza. These tags should be used as presented instead of making substitutions. Examples: sexual violence and not r@pe, seggsual violence, or grape; suicide bait and not sui, unalive yourself, or su1c1de b8; spelling Israel instead of Isn'treal, Isnotreal, or Israhell; or tag rambling that the filter function treats as a separate tag like 'is this anon hate lol' or 'antisemitism isn't a joke'. After five warnings, a member will be removed from the community if they continue to circumvent tagging for filtering purposes. To prevent potential tag spam and keep other tags usable within the community, a member may be asked to correct an unclear or mistaken tag, such as tagging a hanukkiah with Purim, but that will not count as a warning towards being removed from the community.

Goal of this guideline: This community is supposed to be a moderated space with the ability to tag, and members are going to have to play along with tagging for filtering purposes because this isn't their personal blog. Blacklisting might catch tag rambling, but as far as I'm aware, that's only available for desktop users and a lot of people use Tumblr on mobile.

[vermutandherring]

Video Games are our World Cultural Heritage

Thank you for 100 followers

This industry is very young. Just 61 years ago, Steve Russell created Spacewar! - in fact, the first video game. Just imagine: the man who once gave birth to a new medium (and an art form, if you will) is still alive. I'm afraid I won't make it to Massachusetts Institute of Technology before this legendary figure passes on to a better world. But even so, I am happy to think that we share a single star dome and live in the same epoch.

Although the phenomenon of video games is relatively new in culture, it has already passed the main stages of creation and finally formed. Unfortunately, due to the fact that Ukraine was part of the soviet union at the time of the formation of video games in the world, we missed this important stage of arcade machines and the first home consoles. Our heritage begins in the 90s, after the collapse of the ussr, when 'foreign' technologies finally became part of people's everyday life. At this time, the first development studios were founded and the first games were released, which to this day remain little known not only to the world, but also to Ukrainians themselves.

L-R: Alan Kotok, Steve Russell and J.M. Graetz play Spacewar at the Boston Computer Museum.

It's hard to believe, but speaking of the general context, you and I have already lost a lot. It seems that video games have always existed around us. Every day we learn about the releases of new games, we constantly hear about the continuation of old franchises and the creation of new ones. We play the hits of day, the mediocre games every day and the immortal classics of the past, nostalgic for the carefree days. But when you launch Super Mario Bros again, somewhere out there, the once great game fades into oblivion, leaving no trace behind. In 1958, William Higinbotham (the same one who was part of the team that created the first nuclear bomb) created the game Tennis For Two for the Brookhaven University exhibition, the process of which was displayed on the screen of an oscilloscope. Although Tennis For Two can now be considered the first video game, Higinbotham himself did not attach much importance to his invention, and therefore, after the repeated demonstration of the game at the 1959 exhibition, he disassembled the equipment for subsequent projects. Thus, the first working prototype of a 'video game' is lost to us forever.

'Why do we need some outdated games when we can play the most modern ones or their remakes?' - you may ask. In the article 'The Past as the Future? Nostalgia and Retrogaming in Digital Culture?' Jaakko Suominen claims that players have a kind of desire to experience previous gaming situations or games. Because of this, the modern gaming industry is caught up in the spirit of retrogaming, designed to give you the feeling of the 'good old days'. This concerns not only individual games, but also the artistic solution of individual works, from the visual part to the musical accompaniment. Almost 10 years after its release, I tried Grand Theft Auto 5 for the first time, which impressed me with its references to the first games in the series. These notes of the past are strongly felt in the compositions that accompany the missions and sound effects similar in style, for example, to the same Vice City.

However, no modern game can replace an original game from the 80s or 2000s, as different works represent different eras and their cultures. They give only a ghostly feeling that these are the same sunny days when you first held in your hands a cartridge or disc with your favorite childhood game. The remake is not at all the game that the developers once suffered as something new and unique for its time. This is a different game with a different interpretation of the same events, because it was created in a different cultural context.

The setting. The music. The vibe. It's love at the first sight.

Spacewar! was created by S. Russell in 1962, on a PDP-1 computer used by MIT as a research machine. It was a time when USA was at the height of the Cold War with the soviet union, and their main race track was space flight. The cosmic aesthetic was a popular theme in the culture, exploited to the fullest. Gameplay of Spacewar! consisted in the fact that, controlling the rocket, the player must shoot down enemy targets. When creating his game, S. Russell gave the rockets the features of culturally recognizable symbols. One rocket, called the Wedge, was given the appearance of the Buck Rogers spaceship from the 1939 fantasy television series. Another rocket called Needle received the appearance of the American ballistic missile Redstone. Thus, the first video game captures for us a distant era, surrounded by dreams of the great cosmos, which for the 60s of the last century seemed an incredible achievement. Does such a game have any cultural value today? We have dozens of games on a similar theme, but our dreams of space have turned into ordinary everyday life.

Pic. 1 - The Wedge and Needle | Pic. 2 - Spaceship from The Buck Rogers Serial 1939. | Pic. 3 - Redstone missile on display in Grand Central Terminal in New York, 7 July 1957.

But video games disappear. Although a game can exist not physically, but in virtual space, this does not protect it from the threat of disappearance or loss. The distribution of games most often occurs through services that act as intermediaries between the publisher and the player. One of the biggest gaming services today is Steam. The number of games on this platform grows every year, and as of June 2021, the number of video games presented for sale on Steam reached 50,000 units. At the same time, every day some video games disappear from the service forever. The reason for this may be the expiration date of music rights and exclusive agreements, content of a sensitive nature, violations by developers or their policies, etc.

It is enough to recall the situation with the GTA trilogy from Rockstar Games. In October 2021, the company began to spread information about the re-release of games from the 2000s in the form of a trilogy Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - The Definitive Edition. The launch was supposed to take place in November-December of the same year, and the original versions of the three games were to be removed from Steam. This act of Rockstar Games caused a very negative reaction among players. Perhaps for the first time in the entire history of video games, the gaming community felt a real culture shock: the threat of the disappearance of one of the most iconic works appeared before its eyes. To a large extent, the gaming community itself has preserved some of the games from the Grand Theft Auto series, without which it is impossible to imagine the legacy of video games today.

I feel uneasy about remakes. And remasters seems like even bigger trouble.

Digital distribution problems are a disease of modern games. The situation is much worse with games that were released much earlier - the means for their reproduction and technical support are constantly aging. Games that require special conditions for playback (such as old consoles) are not supported by the developers themselves, and are under a real threat of physical disappearance. According to game archivist and historian Andrew Borman, time is running out for such works and their rescue.

Losing one or couple of video games may not seem to change the course of history. However, every existing work is a product of human activity, which carries its message to the world. On the way to the formation of games, there were key works that opened previously unseen horizons not only in development and technical progress, but also once again posed to society the question of what art really is, and whether new media, in particular video games, can acquire the features of a work of art.

In a speech at the Game Developers Conference 2015, Jason Scott - archivist, historian of technology - tries to convey that video games have historical value, and also criticizes the attitude of the gaming industry to its own heritage. According to the historian, the main problem with video games lies in their perception by society as a product. Video games have always been considered an off the shelf product that can be easily thrown away if you don't understand its value. J. Scott emphasizes that a video game is an artifact that contains not only its own history or the history of the development of the industry, but also the 'minor' names behind the development of these games.

This is a really interesting talk to hear if you're into saving video games.

As part of the common human heritage, which demonstrates the evolution of society and the accumulated experience, our preferences and beliefs at certain stages of development, as a phenomenon that has a great impact on culture, video games have the right to be preserved. And although the situation is already critical, everything is not as bad as it might seem after my descriptions. Today, various institutions, enthusiasts and fans themselves are dedicated to the preservation of video games. The world hosts video game exhibitions, and museums add individual works to their collections. Thus, in 2012, the Museum of Modern Art in New York, on the initiative of the museum's curator Paola Antonelli, added to its collection a list of 14 video games from the 1980s to 2009 (I wrote a bit about it here).

MoMA is not the only museum of its kind. For example, in the same 2012, the Smithsonian American Art Museum held an exhibition called The Art of Video Games, designed to highlight the evolution of art in the video game medium over its forty-year history. Maybe for you as a gamer, the inclusion of any game in a museum or exhibition isn't that big of a deal. But look at it from a slightly different perspective. When you play the first Sims or Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, you are touching a world heritage as important as the works of Renaissance Titans, Raphael or Michelangelo, or any other artist you prefer. These are works of art that revolutionized industry and culture, laying the foundations of a new era. Playing these games is like holding Scythian gold in your hands, with the difference that you have more options for interacting with the exhibit.

A somewhat mystical atmosphere, muted light and philosophical inscriptions - everything we love in museums of classical art. Photos from the exhibition in the Smithsonian American Art Museum, 2012.

I like that the developers themselves are also working to preserve their heritage. Nintendo is endlessly re-releasing its retro Mario games, while Konami, along with the announcement of the Snake Eater remake, is about to release its oldest Metal Gear games for modern gaming devices. We ourselves can contribute to this matter, although not on such a scale. The message of my essay is a call to preserve video games as a part of your history that you can pass on to posterity. If you have old gaming discs or devices, think one more time before disposing of them as unnecessary junk. Give them to friends, acquaintances, interested persons, sell them on the Internet for a pittance, give them to specialty stores or, in the end, save them for your children or grandchildren. After all, a video game is that unique experience that you can not just share, but experience it again and again alone or with dear people. As J. Scott noted in the same GDC 2015 presentation, 'Availability is the path to preservation'. The best way to save a video game is to keep it playable.

Thanks to all subscribers and just interested people who came across my page. I hope my creations will stir at least something in your souls, opening a new facet of video games.

[lizardsfromspace]

Halloween Movie Challenge

Every day in October, except the days I don't, I am watching a randomly chosen Halloween-themed horror movie for the first time. Or for the first twenty-four days of October bc my list runs out then.

The first two weeks...are below

TRICK OR TREAT

1986 / directed by Charles Martin Smith / written by Joel Soisson, Michael S. Murphey and Rhet Topham (and Glen Morgan & James Wong, uncredited)

A heavy metal-themed Nightmare on Elm Street clone (the villain even does the "hands reaching through the wall" thing, but with a speaker), with cameos by Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne, the latter playing a Satanic Panic-spewing TV preacher. This one has a strange legacy on the whole: future X-Files scribe (and uncredited co-writer) Glen Morgan is featured in his only acting role, and the director went on to make Air Bud...and then define his career around animal movies. Fair enough! This one's pretty fun, with a long first act of high school bullying highlighted with a energetic chase sequence, though not especially Halloween-y, given its name (though the version I watched was titled Ragman?)

🎃🎃🎃.5/5

TALES OF HALLOWEEN

2015 / directed by [a lot of people] / written by [a lot of people]

The top Letterboxd review calls this "Trick 'R Treat if it was designed by a committee at a horror convention" and that just about sums it up. It has the requisite horror cameos - a litany of 80s final girls are joined by Joe Dante and John Landis, and John Landis is convincing in the role of a terrible person whose son is a monster for some reason. This one has way too many segments, and they're unsurprisingly same-y. Two stories have a twist where a child-sized killer turns out to be a demon, two of them feature gangs of evil kids, and none of them are very fun, though they feature so many of the winking in-jokes filmmakers mistake for fun. This is the type of movie where a candy will have the word "Carpenter" on it, written in the Halloween titles font, because hey. Remember John Carpenter? Remember? Remember John Carpenter? The oddest part is that this movie's format is very close to 2015's better A Christmas Horror Story, but they're totally unrelated?

🎃🎃/5

HELL HOUSE LLC

2015 / written & directed by Stephen Cognetti

Found footage movie that makes decent use of its rundown-Halloween-haunt setting & has some good scares with evil clown dolls, but is pretty routine, and does that mediocre found footage thing where it can't let any of the background scares breathe without a crash zoom and a scare chord.

🎃🎃🎃/5

MAY

2002 / written & directed by Lucky McKee

To call May a slasher movie doesn't really represent it. As a portrait of a loner among urban alienation, it's of a kind with Taxi Driver and the first act of Beau is Afraid, with unbearably real performances by Angela Bettis and Jeremy Sisto. May is psychological and restrained, striving for a queasy discomfort before it escalates into full-on bloodshed. This is the least Halloween-y film so far, but the final act is on Halloween night, and culminates in a shot that's haunting and lyrical in equal measure.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃/5

HACK-O-LANTERN

1988 / directed by Jag Mundhra / written by Dave Eisenstark & Carla Robinson

Direct-to-video horror classic featuring a deeply apathetic son of the Devil and a musical number featuring deaths-by-magic-guitar. Alternatively tediously padded and gloriously deranged, but then again, that's direct-to-video horror babyyyyyyy. Jag Mundhra had a career directing direct-to-video sleaze in the US, but made prestige movies in India?

🎃🎃🎃/5

DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW

1981 / directed by Frank De Felitta / story by J.D. Feigelson & Butler Handcock, teleplay by Feigelson

A TV movie, but you'd only know it from its 4:3 ratio & commercial break fades-to-black. Dark Night of the Scarecrow is a creepy gem, well-directed by de Felitta - a novelist with a sideline directing TV movies - with an eye towards the details of small town life. The lack of gore is made up with by stark, elemental horror imagery, and the horrors of humanity: a mob murders a developmentally disabled man for a crime he didn't commit, and gets off the hook for it - gets cheered, in fact, by the townsfolk. But soon a mysterious scarecrow is appearing in the fields, and the killers start to die...not a killer scarecrow movie, but something subtler, chillier, the horror of barns and grain silos and farmer's fields.

🎃🎃🎃🎃/5

HAUNT

2019 / written & directed by Scott Beck and Bryan Woods

Extreme haunted houses are stupid.

While some use it as a mere William Castle-ian conceit, others take it seriously. Who could've guessed that if you replace themed scares and actors with people who will literally, actually hurt you, you'd still be scared? Only the Einsteins who act flabbergasted when the actors they hired with the pitch "you can hurt people and they signed something that said they can't sue you" turn out to disregard safe words. In Haunt, an extreme haunted house is a front for a murder-cult, which is more respectable than it being some guy doing the Evermore Park of frights. Haunt is a very pedestrian slasher, but a sincere one, and a modern one (the victims check the creepy house's Yelp reviews), which I'll take over a winking 80s homage any day.

🎃🎃🎃/5

THE MIDNIGHT HOUR

1985 / directed by Jack Bender / written by Bill Bleich

Delightful little made-for-TV number, heavily inspired by Thriller. In 1985, this was trashed for its cliches, but now it's the cliches that make it so endearing. This one has its own musical number, a starring turn for LeVar Burton, some quality zombie effects and a lighthearted air, and excellent Halloween-y vibes to it, of course, courtesy of future Lost director Jack Bender. It also has a weirdly overqualified soundtrack; I really didn't expect to hear The Smiths repeatedly in a made-for-TV Halloween movie, but here we are.

🎃🎃🎃🎃/5

NIGHT OF THE DEMONS

1988 / directed by Kevin S. Tenney / written by Joe Augustyn

Night of the Demons has a gnarly final act, but spends way too much time getting there, and too much of that time is spent with interchangeable assholes bumbling about.

🎃🎃.5/5

THE CHILD

1977 / directed by Robert Voskanian / written by Ralph Lucas

A classical Weird 70s Horror Movie, which means a relatively simple plot told in the most inscrutable way possible, a lot of stark tight close-ups and quick cuts, and a preoccupation with psychics. The last act is a bit of a conventional zombie runaround, but everything before that is chilly 70s gold. By far the least Halloween-y film here, but there's an amazing moment with a Jack-O-Lantern.

🎃🎃🎃.5/5

SCARY MOVIE

1991 / directed by Daniel Erickson / written by Daniel Erickson, David Lane Smith, and Mark Voges

No, not that one; this one is a regional horror flick from Texas, from 1991, and starring John Hawkes as a gormless nerd touring a haunted house - the type so anxious to avoid a snake pit he ends up falling into a snake pit, which, relatable. The wonderful aesthetics of a local haunted house dominate this film, directed with sly attention to detail by Erickson, which follows Hawkes' character as an escaped madman lurks in the haunted house. Or does he? A surreal psychological story more than a slasher, it takes a while to get somewhere, but that a while is full of local atmosphere (similar to Tobe Hooper's classic The Funhouse).

🎃🎃🎃🎃/5

Anyway

[over-the-time-flow]

Super Robot Rollcall: The GEAR Fighters

Ginga Izumo

"The universe doesn't need no 'king'!"

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: 11 Birthday: May 5th Height: 145 cm Hobbies: Watching anime Voice Actress: Youko Mitsuoka Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

A little boy who enjoys practicing karate at his mother's dojo, playing sports, watching anime, and idol bands... until one day, through a series of convoluted events, he finds himself alongside a classmate he can't stand in the cockpit of a mysterious robot! A story as old a time.

As 11-yos often do, the two very quickly conciliate their differences and become friends.

His dad is often travelling around the world, but he doesn't really miss him, because he tends to bring the customs of wherever he last went along whenever he comes to visit, which tends to cause a lot of embarrassment for Ginga...

Compared to Hokuto, Ginga has better Melee, Defense and Skill. All around, both of them have fairly good stats, but defensively they're not so impressive.

Hokuto Kusanagi

"This isn't some sports match! We can't just say 'oh well, i lost!' and go home!!"

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: 11 Birthday: July 7th Height: 147 cm Hobbies: Watching anime, playing billiards and football, building plastic models Voice Actress: Naomi Shindou Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

A timid boy who enjoys spending time with his parents, with his computer, with plastic models, and most of all, with his beloved dog. One day, the Galfa Empire attacks his town, and in the commotion, he ends up in the cockpit of the Dendoh alongside a classmate he can't stand!

As 11-yos often do, the two very quickly conciliate their differences and become friends.

Lately, his duties as a Dendoh pilot have been getting in the way of his personal life. He's no Peter Parker, but he finds himself having less time to spend with his dad, and his mom seems so distant recently...

Compared to Ginga, Hokuto has better Ranged, Accuracy and Evasion. They're both fairly competent in terms of statline, but even though i like Hokuto more, it's kind of a fact that Ginga's a better pilot in a vaccuum. Still, you'll be shifting between them many times a stage if you're deploying them anyway.

GEAR Fighter Dendoh

Source Material: Gear Fighter Dendoh Height: 24.5 meters Power Source: double a batteries 2 Hyper Dendoh Batteries Real World Designer: Jun'ichi Akutsu

A mysterious robot that can only be controlled when both Gear Commanders (in essence, control units) light up, which only happens when Dendoh itself judges the pilots to be worthy. The Gear Commanders allow the pilots to catch "Data Weapons", large bioelectrical cryptids who become weapons for the Dendoh, powering it up.

In other words, it's the closest SRW will ever have to a "summoner" type character, which (combined with how great the show is) really endears me to this thing.

We get the Dendoh with the Unicorn Drill already acquired, and shifting to it will swap the pilot to Hokuto. Unicorn Drill grants us Fire Wall, a decent barrier ability, and most importantly, having a Data Weapon grants the Dendoh the ability to use the Final Attack, a move that deals more damage the more EN the Dendoh has remaining, but that will always leave it with only 10 EN remaining. As of right now, we have no way of refilling Dendoh's EN without putting it back in the ship (which will RAPIDLY drain the pilots' Will, especially in R), and all of its moves spend at least a little bit of EN, and most spend quite a bit. As such, the Dendoh is a potentially VERY powerful unit, but it requires wise utilization, and i find it to be one of the most fun and rewarding units to use in the game.

Both forms are clearly meant to be Super Robots, but have fairly unimpressive HP and Armor. Unicorn Drill's Fire Wall will prove very useful to us in the future.

Vega

"Rushing in blindly out of rage is the same as admitting defeat."

Source Material: GEAR Fighter Dendoh Age: ??? Birthday: ??? Voice Actress: Kotono Mitsuishi Character Designer: Hirokazu Hisayuki

The mysterious second in command at GEAR HQ. She finds herself tasked with taking care of the Dendoh's young pilots, and she's quite adept at her job. She's extensively trained in CQC, and can fight beyond the limits of a normal human, demonstrating superhuman abilities at multiple points.

For whatever reason, she sometimes finds herself uncomfortable around Hokuto.

You would be excused if you thought she was a support unit, but make no mistake, Vega is a real robot pilot geared to be dealing damage through and through. Her stats are all quite decent, and her Spirit learnset does not disappoint either.

Valkyrie

Source Material: Gear Fighter Dendoh Real World Designer: Jun'ichi Akutsu

Vega's specialized combat bike. It's loaded with missiles and various lightweight CQC weapons that make use of Vega's fantastical skillset. So long as they're on the ground, Vega can stand up even against Mobile Suits, Mechabeasts and the like.

It can also hover above water, although "hover" may be an incorrect way of putting it; rather, it's capable of driving atop water.

It's no powerhouse, but this thing can actually put in some work. It's nigh impossible to hit (especially with upgrades to its Mobility), and while it'll never hit quite as hard as a dedicated combat unit, it can hit hard enough thanks to Vega's stats.

The true draw of this thing, however, is that it shares upgrades 1 to 1 with another unit we'll get much later, and that other unit can be piloted by other characters. If you really want to, you can pump upgrades into this machine and get two competent machines to decently upgraded levels for the cost of one.

[cryptoplatformapp]

Bitcoin Apex Reviews -Is It an Effective Solution? Tips for New Users

⭐ Overall Rating: 4.4/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆

Ease of Use: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.5/5)

AI Trading Features: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.3/5)

Security: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.4/5)

Customer Support: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.2/5)

Profitability: ⭐⭐⭐⭐☆ (4.5/5)

👉 Open Your Bitcoin Apex Account Now

🔍 Introduction

In the ever-evolving landscape of cryptocurrency, platforms like Bitcoin Apex are emerging as top contenders for traders seeking automation and intelligent decision-making. As 2025 continues to shape the future of digital investing, many are asking: Is Bitcoin Apex a legit platform or another crypto scam? Let’s dive deep and find out.🚀 What is Bitcoin Apex?

Bitcoin Apex is an AI-powered cryptocurrency trading platform designed to automate buying and selling decisions based on real-time market analysis. It uses sophisticated algorithms to identify trends and execute trades on behalf of users, minimizing manual input while maximizing efficiency.

Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced trader, Bitcoin Apex is marketed as an easy-to-use platform that can help grow your crypto portfolio without requiring you to monitor the markets 24/7.🔑 Key Features

✔ AI-Driven Trade Execution – Reacts instantly to market shifts ✔ Real-Time Data Processing – Uses live market feeds to inform decisions ✔ User-Friendly Dashboard – Designed with intuitive navigation for beginners ✔ Demo Mode – Allows new users to practice risk-free ✔ Integrated Risk Management – Auto-adjusts position sizes based on volatility ✔ Multi-Asset Access – Trade BTC, ETH, LTC, and more⚙️ How Bitcoin Apex Works

Sign Up: Users create an account and complete a verification process.

Deposit Funds: The platform requires a minimum deposit (usually around $250).

Configure Settings: Customize risk levels, trade volume, and preferred assets.

Activate Auto-Trading: Let the AI bot execute trades on your behalf.

Monitor & Withdraw: Check profits and make withdrawals at any time.

The platform is designed to be set-and-forget, but regular monitoring is still recommended for optimal outcomes.✅ Pros and ❌ Cons✅ Pros:

Fast trade execution through AI automation

24/7 trading capability

Easy sign-up and user interface

Offers both auto and manual trading modes

Demo account available

❌ Cons:

No mobile app (browser-only platform)

Market risk still applies despite automation

Limited to partnered brokers for deposits and trades

🗣 "Bitcoin Apex helped me ease into crypto trading. The AI really does all the heavy lifting." – Jordan M.

🗣 "I've used other bots, but this one actually learns and adapts. Profit margin has been good so far." – Priya S.

🗣 "Great interface. I started with the demo and now trade live daily. No regrets." – Diego R.🔐 Is Bitcoin Apex Legit or a Scam?

Bitcoin Apex appears to be a legitimate trading platform that leverages AI to assist users in crypto trading. While no system can eliminate risk entirely, Bitcoin Apex stands out by offering transparency, encryption, and partnerships with regulated brokers.

There are no red flags or scam warnings from users in 2025 so far. However, users should always research their country’s crypto regulations and start small.

Final Verdict: ✅ Legit – A solid AI-powered platform with real results.❓ Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)1. How much does it cost to use Bitcoin Apex?

There are no direct platform fees, but brokers may charge spreads or commissions. A minimum deposit of $250 is typically required.2. Can beginners use this platform?

Yes! Bitcoin Apex is designed with an easy interface and demo mode, making it perfect for first-time crypto traders.3. Is Bitcoin Apex safe?

Yes, the platform uses SSL encryption and works with verified brokers to ensure user security.4. What cryptocurrencies can I trade?

You can trade Bitcoin, Ethereum, Litecoin, and other major altcoins supported by partnered brokers.5. How soon can I withdraw profits?

Withdrawals are processed within 24–48 hours, depending on your chosen broker and payment method.6. Does Bitcoin Apex guarantee profits?

No trading platform can guarantee profits. Bitcoin Apex reduces the guesswork but market conditions can still affect outcomes.

Bitcoin Apex is making waves in the world of automated trading for good reason. With a robust AI engine, intuitive platform, and solid security framework, it's ideal for anyone looking to step into crypto with confidence in 2025.

Whether you're a cautious beginner or a fast-paced trader, Bitcoin Apex may just be the edge you need in today’s digital asset markets.

[myomaustralia]

Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program: Save Big on Energy Bills

As energy costs continue to rise and climate change demands more responsible consumption, Australians are turning to smarter ways to manage energy usage. One initiative making waves is the Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program — a strategic part of the broader Government Energy Efficiency Scheme.

This program is not just about comfort. It's about reducing household energy bills, improving health outcomes, and moving toward a more sustainable future.

What Is the Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program?

The Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program is an initiative launched to help eligible households access energy-efficient systems at reduced costs. Funded through the Government Energy Efficiency Scheme, the program is designed to phase out old, inefficient heaters and coolers and replace them with high-efficiency alternatives.

These upgrades often include:

Reverse-cycle air conditioners

Efficient heating systems

Improved insulation or ventilation

The aim? Reduce energy consumption, lower utility bills, and decrease greenhouse gas emissions — all while making homes more livable year-round.

Why Energy Efficiency Matters

In many Australian homes, heating and cooling account for over 40% of household energy use. Older systems can be energy guzzlers, especially in low-income households where inefficient units are often the norm.

By switching to high-efficiency systems, households can cut energy use significantly — in some cases by up to 50% — without sacrificing comfort.

Real Stories: What Participants Are Saying

“After upgrading through the program, our summer energy bill dropped by nearly $200. The new system is quieter and keeps the whole house cooler.” — Janet L., Mildura

“We didn’t think we’d qualify, but the process was simple and the team walked us through it. Our home feels like new, and the bills speak for themselves.” — Trevor and Mel R., Bendigo

These testimonials reflect a growing satisfaction among Australians who have benefited from the Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program.

Who’s Eligible?

Eligibility typically includes:

Low-income households

Renters with landlord approval

Households with health conditions impacted by poor air quality or temperature extremes

Each state may apply specific criteria, so it's worth checking local government portals for updated guidelines.

How to Apply

While the application process varies slightly by region, most households can follow these general steps:

Check Eligibility – Review the specific requirements on your state’s energy website.

Get a Quote – An approved provider will assess your current setup.

Schedule the Upgrade – Once approved, installation is quick and minimally invasive.

Start Saving – New systems often come with warranties and immediate efficiency benefits.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is this program available nationwide? A: The Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program is available in several states, with each state managing its rollout. Check your state government’s energy efficiency page for updates.

Q: Do I need to replace my existing system? A: Not always. Some households may be eligible for upgrades even if they currently have a functioning system, depending on its efficiency rating.

Q: What costs are involved? A: While many upgrades are subsidized, there may be small out-of-pocket expenses. However, these are typically outweighed by long-term energy savings.

The Bigger Picture

The Government Energy Efficiency Scheme and its related programs are not just about individual savings. They are part of a nationwide effort to cut carbon emissions, improve health outcomes, and stimulate green innovation in housing.

With the right support, households can make meaningful changes that are financially smart and environmentally responsible.

Final Thoughts

If you've been putting off upgrading your heating or cooling system, now might be the perfect time to act. The Home Heating And Cooling Upgrades Program offers more than just modern comfort — it delivers real, measurable savings and aligns with Australia’s clean energy goals.

Take a moment to check your eligibility and explore how much you could save. Your wallet — and the planet — will thank you.

[ritikanegi07]

A Look Inside the World of Medical Equipment Manufacturers

The healthcare industry relies heavily on innovation and precision—and at the heart of it all are medical equipment manufacturers. These unsung heroes work tirelessly behind the scenes to design, develop, and deliver tools that help save lives every single day. From hospital beds to MRI machines, their work impacts millions of people globally.

Let’s take a closer look at what they do, how they do it, and why their role is more vital now than ever before.

What Do Medical Equipment Manufacturers Do?

Medical equipment manufacturers are responsible for producing devices that are essential for:

Diagnosis (e.g., imaging machines, diagnostic kits)

Treatment (e.g., surgical instruments, therapy devices)

Monitoring (e.g., heart monitors, blood pressure machines)

Support (e.g., wheelchairs, ventilators)

They combine engineering, medical science, and innovation to create tools that meet strict safety and performance standards.

Key Areas of Focus

1. Research & Development (R&D)

Before any device reaches a hospital or clinic, it undergoes rigorous research and testing. Manufacturers spend years developing prototypes, consulting with medical professionals, and running trials.

2. Compliance & Regulations

Medical equipment must meet international safety standards. Manufacturers must adhere to:

ISO certifications

FDA and CE approvals

Local and global regulatory guidelines

This ensures that every piece of equipment is safe, reliable, and ready for real-world use.

3. Production & Quality Control

The production process involves advanced machinery and skilled labor. Quality control teams inspect every batch to ensure consistency and safety.

The Growing Demand for Innovation

As healthcare needs evolve, so does the demand for smarter, more efficient equipment. Recent trends include:

Telemedicine Tools: Devices compatible with remote consultations.

Wearable Tech: Trackers that monitor heart rate, oxygen levels, etc.

AI Integration: Equipment powered by artificial intelligence to support faster diagnoses.

Medical equipment manufacturers are embracing these trends to offer better solutions for both patients and healthcare providers.

Challenges Faced by the Industry

While the impact of this sector is enormous, it doesn’t come without challenges:

High Production Costs Developing cutting-edge devices requires significant investment.

Supply Chain Disruptions Global events can cause delays in sourcing raw materials or delivering products.

Regulatory Hurdles Navigating different countries' approval processes can be time-consuming and costly.

Despite these obstacles, the industry continues to grow and adapt with resilience and creativity.

Why Their Work Matters

Medical equipment manufacturers aren’t just creating machines—they’re crafting lifelines. Their innovations help:

Detect diseases earlier

Improve treatment outcomes

Enhance patient comfort

Reduce the burden on healthcare professionals

Without their contributions, modern medicine simply wouldn’t be what it is today.

Final Thoughts

Behind every scan, surgery, and successful recovery is a dedicated team of experts building the tools that make it possible. Medical equipment manufacturers may not be on the frontlines, but they play a crucial role in shaping the future of healthcare.

As technology continues to evolve, so will their contributions—bringing us closer to a healthier, more connected world.

[bobbyyoungsworld]

How to Become an AI Agent Developer: A Step-by-Step Guide

We see that the arrival of artificial intelligence (AI) and how it is revolutionizing many sectors at high speed, with AI agents being the leaders in this revolution. From chatbots and virtual assistants to autonomous decision-making systems, AI agents are the future of technology. To become an AI agent developer, this manual will guide you through the essential steps, skills, and tools needed to enter this holding field.

Understanding AI Agents

 AI agent is a program performing the functions of making the environment discoverable and the subsequent process of data analysis and final action execution to meet the object. These agent machines using machine learning, natural language processing (NLP), and deep learning deliver their main functionality. Organizations are majorly using AI agents to do jobs that are repetitive, like for instance redirecting fault tickets to the right person, help customers engage, and retouch whatever workflows may be already in place which just makes AI agent development a skill that you should possess and is in great demand.

Step 1: Gain a Strong Foundation in AI and Machine Learning

An excellent approach to begin your journey in AI agent development is to become familiar with artificial intelligence and machine learning theories. This is how it begins:

Learn the Basics of AI and ML

Explore core AI concepts like the supervised and unsupervised learning, reinforcement learning, and neural networks. Attend online courses via Coursera, Udacity, and edX.

Study books like Artificial Intelligence: A Guide for Thinking Humans by Melanie Mitchell and Hands-On Machine Learning with Scikit-Learn, Keras, and TensorFlow by Aurélien Géron. Learn Essential Programming Languages Python:--

This is the most popular AI and ML programming language that has multiple libraries (like TensorFlow, PyTorch, Scikit-learn, etc.), and it is. Documenting the the even more extensive. Java and C++: are useful for the application of AI in computer games and robotics. R: This is good for the computation of statistical analysis and data.

Step 2: Understand Natural Language Processing (NLP)

 NLP is the skill of understanding and generating human language by computers. Since AI agents are the main way humans interact with AI, NLP is essential expertise. Here’s what you can retrofit to accord matters:

Tokenization, stemming, and lemmatization

Named Entity Recognition (NER)

Sentiment analysis

Speech recognition

Libraries like NLTK, spaCy, and Hugging Face’s Transformers

Step 3: Develop Proficiency in AI Agent Development Frameworks

A careful study of AI development frameworks will familiarize you with different technologies:

Open-Source AI Frameworks

TensorFlow and PyTorch – are the most two popular frameworks for deep learning model training and deployment.

OpenAI Gym – this one performs reinforcement learning tasks only.

Rasa – For conversational AI and chatbot development AI Agent Development Tools Dialogflow – Google’s NLP-based chatbot framework Microsoft Bot Framework – Use the AI-driven chatbot creation tool IBM Watson – Gives very high-tech AI agent development solutions

Step 4: Gain Experience with Cloud Computing and Deployment

AI agents quite often need cloud-based infrastructure for training, storage, and deployment. It is your mission to configure the following:

AWS AI & ML Services

Google Cloud AI Platform

Microsoft Azure AI

Learning about DevOps tools such as Docker and Kubernetes is also a must in order to scale AI agent development solutions.

Step 5: Work on AI Agent Development Projects

Nothing is as great as the ability to practically apply what you have studied in class thus real-world projects stand as the key to becoming an expert AI agent developer. Possible project ideas can be:

Developing a virtual assistant using Dialogflow

Building a chatbot with Rasa for customer service

Creating an AI-powered recommendation system

Designing the autonomous trading bot using reinforcement learning

Contribute to open-source AI agent development projects on GitHub to empower your portfolio and get together with the professionals.

Step 6: Join an AI Agent Development Company or Freelance

Once you have a strong portfolio, consider:

Applying to an AI agent development company specializing in building AI-powered solutions.

Offering AI agent development services as a freelancer on platforms like Upwork and Toptal.

Collaborating with startups to integrate AI-driven automation in business processes.

Step 7: Stay Updated and Network in the AI Community

AI is a fast-growing arena which expects you to be up to speed with the latest advancements.

Gain insight by:

Reading AI research papers such as those published on arXiv, IEEE AI Journal, and Google AI Blog.

Attending AI conferences such as NeurIPS, CVPR, and ICML. Engaging with AI communities on platforms like Kaggle, GitHub, and LinkedIn.

Conclusion

The development of AI Agents requires a balanced expertise in technology, hands-on experience, and continuous learning. Through knowledge of AI applications, creating innovative projects, and following the latest research, you are a good candidate for having a successful career in the field of AI agent development. The field of AI is limitless. You can join the industry and work on AI agent project at a company or realize your own projects. Get to it now and be a part of the AI revolution!

[allyriadayne]

It’s not that anyone actually believes George will change his writing based on online discourse (though, maybe, who knows). That’s not the concern. The real issue lies in how fandom discourse can influence mainstream perception and shape how adaptations or spinoffs approach the source material. Public discourse has the power to influence how certain characters are portrayed or which storylines get more focus. Just because fan opinions won’t rewrite the books doesn’t mean they don’t impact adaptations or shift the broader narrative focus in future projects. GOT has definitely altered how certain characters are viewed. Tyrion, in the books, is a deeply flawed, morally gray character. The show reduced him to a witty underdog, stripping away much of his complexity. Dany suffers from a similar issue. The show’s rushed final seasons solidified the belief that she was destined (book and show) to become the "Mad Queen." Fan perceptions can influence adaptations. Future reboots or spinoffs might cater to popular interpretations rather than staying true to the books because they feel pressured to meet mainstream expectations. Even a faithful adaptation could face resistance if it doesn’t align with what the majority of viewers have come to expect from the first version of the show. Not because it’s wrong, but because it doesn’t match the version they’re familiar with. About the Jaehaera/Daenaera discourse. It’s not about stopping people from speculating or sharing their theories. People are allowed to imagine alternate endings, ships, or character arcs. But when those theories overshadow the actual depth and intention of the source material, I think it becomes valid for fans who care about the story’s integrity to push back. Even seemingly minor creative choices, like costume design, can influence how audiences perceive characters. Rhaenyra’s black dress, a powerful symbol of her defiance and claim to power in the books was instead given to Alicent. It may seem like a small change, but moments like this subtly reshape audience perception, diluting Rhaenyra’s visual presence and undermining her symbolic authority. Respect for the source material matters, and it’s completely valid to be frustrated when complex characters and themes are reduced to oversimplified stereotypes because of poor adaptation choices or shallow fandom takes.

you are just proving my point. "respecting" or not the source material doesn't mean anything when the asoiaf books and f&b will not change at all. they are published, that's it. it doesn't matter if you think house of the dragon did a good job or not because f&b will always be there for the book purists or for anyone who didn't like something in the show.

public opinion might change a showrunner's mind, it has happened and it will happen, but does that in any way change what's inside the book? to use your own example, the fact rhaenyra didn't wear a black dress in the same way in the show does not change the fact that she DID wear it in the book. people can still have that. and i'm talking about the books, not the adaptations. what do i care if someone in the other side of the world actually thinks tyrion is so and so because they watched GOT? sure, it sucks and i could be annoyed if i see such opinion on the internet but it's never that serious. neither ryan condal nor sara hess destroyed every copy of the book or killed george r r martin.

[tumbrl1]

Desktop 3D Printer Market A Look at Key Opportunities

The desktop 3D printer market has seen remarkable growth over the past decade, driven by advances in 3D printing technology, affordability, and a wide range of applications across industries. Desktop 3D printers offer the ability to create customized and complex objects quickly, making them an attractive option for both small businesses and hobbyists. This market analysis provides insights into the key drivers, challenges, trends, and future opportunities in the desktop 3D printer market.

Market Overview

Desktop 3D printers are compact and affordable printing devices designed for use in homes, small businesses, educational institutions, and R&D departments. They use additive manufacturing technology to build objects layer by layer from a digital model, offering high precision and flexibility in design. The market for desktop 3D printers has expanded rapidly, fueled by growing awareness of the benefits of 3D printing and the demand for rapid prototyping, customized products, and small-batch manufacturing.

The market has been positively influenced by the widespread adoption of 3D printing in various sectors, including automotive, healthcare, aerospace, education, and consumer goods. The affordability of desktop 3D printers has made them accessible to a wider range of consumers, from DIY enthusiasts to startups looking to create prototypes or low-volume products. As more industries recognize the advantages of 3D printing, the demand for desktop 3D printers is expected to continue to grow.

Key Market Drivers

Technological Advancements: The continuous improvement in 3D printing technologies has led to better accuracy, faster print speeds, and compatibility with a wider range of materials. These advancements have made desktop 3D printers more reliable and efficient, contributing to their growing popularity.

Cost Reduction: One of the primary drivers of market growth is the reduction in the cost of 3D printers. As technology matures and manufacturers scale production, the price of desktop 3D printers has decreased significantly, making them more accessible to businesses and individuals. This affordability has led to greater adoption across a wide range of sectors.

Customization and Rapid Prototyping: Desktop 3D printers offer the unique advantage of producing customized objects, which is especially valuable in industries like automotive, aerospace, healthcare, and consumer electronics. Companies can create prototypes or final products without the need for expensive molds or tooling. The ability to quickly iterate and modify designs is a key factor driving the adoption of desktop 3D printers.

Educational Applications: The demand for 3D printers in educational institutions is also growing. Schools, colleges, and universities are using desktop 3D printers to teach students about design, engineering, and technology. This trend is expected to continue as the educational value of 3D printing becomes more recognized.

Key Market Challenges

Material Limitations: Despite the advancements in 3D printing technology, desktop printers still face challenges in terms of the range of materials they can work with. Most printers primarily use plastics, but there is a growing need for more high-performance materials, such as metals or specialized resins, for specific applications.

Limited Print Size: Desktop 3D printers typically have smaller print beds compared to industrial-scale 3D printers, limiting the size of objects that can be printed. While this is sufficient for many applications, large-scale production or manufacturing may require more advanced machines.

Technical Complexity: Although 3D printing technology has become more user-friendly, there is still a learning curve associated with operating desktop 3D printers. Users may require expertise in designing 3D models, handling printer settings, and post-processing the printed objects.

Market Opportunities

Healthcare Applications: The healthcare industry represents a significant growth opportunity for desktop 3D printers, particularly in the creation of customized prosthetics, implants, and surgical tools. 3D printing enables healthcare professionals to create personalized medical devices that fit individual patients’ needs, driving demand for desktop 3D printers.

Small-Batch Manufacturing: Desktop 3D printers are ideal for small-batch manufacturing, where customization and rapid turnaround times are essential. As businesses increasingly focus on on-demand production and reducing inventory costs, desktop 3D printers offer a cost-effective solution for creating low-volume parts and products.

Sustainability: Desktop 3D printing is considered an environmentally friendly manufacturing option due to its reduced waste compared to traditional methods. The growing demand for sustainable production methods is expected to drive further adoption of desktop 3D printers, especially in industries looking to minimize their environmental impact.

Future Outlook

The desktop 3D printer market is expected to continue growing as technological advancements improve the capabilities of these printers and new applications emerge across industries. As the cost of 3D printers continues to decrease and the range of materials expands, the accessibility of these printers will increase. The market will also benefit from the increasing demand for sustainable manufacturing practices, customization, and rapid prototyping. The combination of these factors positions the desktop 3D printer market for continued growth in the coming years.