#desert duo Incorrect Quotes

[jeena-says-hi]

Scar: I’d fight anyone for you, Grian

Grian: Even me?

Scar: To the death

[thebadb0ys]

The entirety of double life seems to be

Grian: SCAR NO

Scar: SCAR YES

[silverdreamscape]

Scar: Thank you for inviting me to G's wedding today, Mumbo.

Mumbo: Yeah no problem, man

Scar: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Grian marrying?

Mumbo: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Grian!

Scar: Wait, what?

Pearl: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.

Bdubs: For a week!

Gem: Here’s some money, make it two!

Grian, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?

[dragonflavoredcake]

Scar: It's very dark in here.

Grian:

Scar: I'm not scared of anything. I'm a tough guy.

Grian:

Scar:

Grian: Do you want me to hold your hand?

Scar: Finally! I thought I was going to have to ask!

[ladidatt]

The bamboozlers building their bed on the bamlands.

Jimmy: "Scar, don't you think that's big enough?"

Scar: "I think it needs to be a lot bigger than this."

Lizzie: "I didn't know you slept all spread out like that?"

Scar: "Oh no! Grian's wings just take up a lot of space."

Lizzie and Jimmy: "WHAT!?"

Scar: "what?"

[imgoingtorunyouover]

i am so sorry for the 3 consecutive pings @kitsuneisi and @xmaruu11

[ethofangorl]

Hermitcraft/life series incorrect quotes

Scot: Can I have some water?  Joel: *starts chugging their water bottle*  Joel: *chokes from drinking too fast*  Joel: *spills water all over themself*  Joel, coughing: I don't have any water.

Scar: Vegetable oil is made from vegetables, coconut oil is made from coconuts, so BABY OIL-  Cleo: CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A NICE FAMILY DINNER FOR ONCE?!

Grian: Act natural.  Mumbo: For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic.  Grian: NO, that’s not what I meant! Act like it’s a normal day!  Mumbo: My ‘normal’ days of late, consist of a lot of panic.  Grian: Will you just cooperate?  Mumbo: When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!

Grian: You really believe in Joel?  Lizzie: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us

Scar: You should see Grian, he’s a total tsundere. Isn’t he just the best? Gem: He stabbed you.

Scar, throwing their head into Grian's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!  Grian, lovingly stroking their hair:You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are

Cleo: I love sarcasm! It’s like punching people in the face, but with words!

Doc: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Gem.  Ren: You just said it again.  Gem: Doc: I am not a role model.

Lifers reactions to being called straight:  Joel: The fuck, no I'm not.  Ren: Excuse the hell out of you?  Scar: Ding dong, you are wrong!  Martyn: Who told you that? And why did they lie?  Grian: Rude.  Cleo: *punches the person*

Grian: Scar... you've been cuddling with me for over and hour now.  Scar: *muffled* mm hmmm :)  Grian: Fuck. I should be annoyed but you're adorable.

Joel: Bitch.  Bdubs: Blocked.  Joel: Wait unblock me I need to tell you something.  Bdubs: Unblocked.  Joel: Bitch.

Scot: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!  Martyn: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

Ren To Mumbo: Wow, left handed AND British? You really are an illusion.

Gem: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.  Joel: And?  Gem: And you are.

Grian: I’ve been described as a ‘heartless villain’ and a 'little shit’, but I prefer… 'has alternative ways of having fun

Grian: The best way to gain someone's undying loyalty is by saving them from a perilous situation.  Scot: So you're just gonna wait until Scar is in danger and save them?  Grian: Of course not, I'm going to create a situation that puts them in danger and then save them.  Scot: ...  Scot: You're insane.

Grian: The time to act is now.  Scar: Wink, wink.  Grian: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.  Scar: Oh, sorry.  Scar: Wink.

*lifers at a family dinner*  Pearl: Can you pass the salt?  Scot: *throws Joel across the table*

Tango: Did you buy eggs like I asked?  Jimmy: Even better!  Tango: What the fuck did you-  Jimmy: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy Tango: She’s… beautiful!

Skizz: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it?  Joel: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?”  Skizz, scoffing: Oh, please.  Joel, to Jimmy: Hey, how you doin’?  Jimmy: jimmy: *giggles and blushes*

Joel, driving in his car with the other winners and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip-  Martyn: In our favorite piece of shit!  Grian: Doing 95!  Scot: We’re gonna fucking die!

Scar: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!  Impulse: This unmitigated poppycock?  Gem: Extravagant hogwash!  Grian and Mumbo: Okay, stop.

[motherofplatypus]

Grian, doing the idiot sandwich meme to Scar: "What are you?"

Scar: "Horny."

[whatidkwhatimsupposedtowriye]

[watarfallar]

They're gay your honour...

Grian: I feel like the world would be better if I'd never been born. Scar: Aw… that's not true. Scar: It'd be exactly the same. Scar: You're not important.

Scar: I couldn't do this without you, Grian. Grian: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

Grian to Scar: Turn that frown upside-down! a little while later Grian: What are you doing? Scar, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Grian: Hey Scar, can I get some icecream? Scar: Only a spoonful! Grian: Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.

Scar: Why are you looking at me through a fork? Grian: I'm pretending you're in jail. Scar: Why? Grian: It's spiritually healing.

Scar: Grian, I need some advice. Grian: You need advice from ME? Scar: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Grian: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? Grian: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us. Grian: I also want to softhack his circuits. Scar: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

Grian: makes Scar a cup of tea but puts salt in it Scar: sips tea Grian: Scar: finishes tea Grian: Didn't it taste bad? Scar: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings so I drank it all. Grian, tearing up: Oh, okay.

Grian: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Scar: Okay? Grian: … Grian: … Grian: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so—

Scar: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Grian ate an entire tube of lipstick. Grian, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

Grian: Scar, is that my mug you’re drinking out of? Scar: No, it’s mine. Grian: It… looks just like the one I have… Scar: You don’t have one like this anymore.

Scar: How does that even work? Grian, mocking them: hOw dO yOu UsE a cOmPUteR aNd KnOw wHaTS GoiNg oN iT DoEsNt mAke SeNSe?! Scar: Your face doesnt make sense.

Kidnapper: I have your partner. Grian: What? I don't have a partner… Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? Grian: Oh my god, you have Scar.

Scar: Wait you like me? For my personality? Grian: I know, I was surprised too.

Grian: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! Grian: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Scar: Grian just threw a tantrum about a chair. Scar: I just won Grian Tantrum Bingo.

Scar: Grian, what if there are monsters? Grian: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… Scar, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

Grian: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog". Scar: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?

Scar: I thought I told you to stop reading my emails. Grian: Well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets!

Grian: Tommorrow's garbage day. Scar: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.

Grian: on the phone with Scar I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit. Scar: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you. Grian: Maybe.

Grian: You’re so funny! Scar: Thanks; I’m desperate for people to like me.

[jeena-says-hi]

Scar: what other mob could I try to ride?

Grian: Hey guys

[imhereforthecomics]

Grian: I love you.

Scar, not paying attention: What was that?

Grian: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

[silverdreamscape]

Grian: Are we still on for tomorrow?

Scar: You mean for our wedding?

Grian: I’m just making sure.

[dragonflavoredcake]

Iskall: This is my best friend Stressmonster, she's annoying but still brings me joy and laughter every single day

Joe: This is my best friend Cleo, they're really smart and chill and I love streaming and doing crafts with her

Grian: This is my best friend Scar, who keeps trying to eat plastic

[lifeseriesincorrectquotes]

Tango: Why is Grian crying on the floor? 

Skizz: He took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes. 

Tango: And? 

Skizz: He got Scar.

[violent-backed-starling]

Scar: *on the phone* Hey Grian, do you know my blood type? Grian: Of course, it's B-. Scar: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!