#derek morgan funny

[casedclosedbye]

"Ahh what a beautiful sunny day...OMG. what happened to the sun?"

"AH !" "Easy white chocolate. wouldn’t want you to melt"

[dan-the-womans-blog]

Title:Great Minds Forget Alike

(Derek Morgan X fem!reader)

You wake up to the sound of your alarm blaring, groaning as you reach over to shut it off. It’s another busy morning, another day of work, and you roll out of bed, stretching before heading to the bathroom. As you brush your teeth, you vaguely register Derek’s arms wrapping around your waist from behind, his lips pressing a lazy kiss against your neck.

“Morning, beautiful,” he mumbles, voice still heavy with sleep.

You hum in response, meeting his tired eyes in the mirror. “Morning, handsome.”

Neither of you seem particularly hurried or frantic—just another typical start to the day. Derek takes his shower while you get dressed, and soon you’re both grabbing your respective coffees and heading out the door with a quick kiss.

It isn’t until you’re halfway through your morning at work that a co-worker, Anna, leans over with a giddy smile. “So… what did Derek get you for Valentine’s Day?”

You blink. “What?”

Anna laughs, nudging your shoulder. “Valentine’s Day! You know, today? The most romantic day of the year?”

Your stomach drops. Your heart pounds. Shit.

How did you forget Valentine's Day?!

You love Derek, and he loves you, but you both have crazy work schedules. It’s not unusual to lose track of time, but Valentine’s Day? That’s like forgetting your anniversary!

Trying to keep your cool, you force a smile. “Oh! Um, I—uh—I haven’t gotten my gift yet. He’s probably saving it for tonight.”

Anna gasps. “Oh my god, he’s totally going to surprise you with something huge! I bet it’s jewelry.”

You force out a laugh. “Yeah… totally.”

Crap. Crap. Crap.

As soon as lunch rolls around, you sprint out of the office, practically running to the nearest store. You grab chocolates, a heartfelt card, and a small cologne bottle that reminds you of Derek. Then you see a gray hoodie—soft, thick, and absolutely something Derek would wear around the house. You grab that, too, before rushing back to work, your heart still racing.

Little do you know, across town, Derek Morgan is going through the exact same crisis.

At the BAU, JJ casually asks, “So, what did you get Y/N for Valentine’s Day?”

Derek nearly chokes on his coffee. “What?”

JJ furrows her brow. “Valentine’s Day. Today?”

Derek stares at her, his brain short-circuiting. “Oh… right. Yeah. Of course.”

Rossi, overhearing, smirks knowingly. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

Derek clenches his jaw. “No.” Yes.

JJ laughs. “Better fix that before you go home, Morgan.”

And that’s how Derek finds himself bolting out of the FBI building on his lunch break, heading straight for the nearest store. He grabs chocolates, a heartfelt card, and perfume that reminds him of you. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spots a gray hoodie—soft, thick, and exactly something you’d wear around the house. He grabs it without hesitation.

By the time you both get home, you’re exhausted from the day’s frantic scrambling, but you’re determined to make tonight special.

“Hey, baby,” Derek greets, giving you a kiss before you both exchange suspiciously identical gift bags.

You both sit down on the couch and start pulling things out.

Chocolates.

A heartfelt card.

Perfume for you. Cologne for him.

Then, you each pull out the same gray hoodie.

You stare at it. Derek stares at his.

Silence.

Then, laughter. Pure, uncontrollable laughter.

“You—” you gasp, clutching your stomach. “You got me the same hoodie?”

Derek can barely speak through his own laughter. “You got me the same hoodie!”

It takes a moment for you both to catch your breath, and when you do, Derek shakes his head, pulling you into his arms. “Okay, we both forgot. I say we call this a tie.”

You grin, wrapping your arms around his waist. “Agreed.”

And just like that, you both sink into the couch together, warm, happy, and still laughing at how alike you are—even in forgetting Valentine’s Day.

[poorly-written-poetry]

[profoundstarfishmusic]

[mortalscience]

LIVE BAU REACTION:

[lilliejareau]

cm x spongebob pt2 bc why not?

[love4moons]

Incorrect criminal minds

Hotch: This team is like a bunch of christmas lights.

Hotch: They all hang together but half of them don’t work and the other half could be a bit brighter. 

[pathologicalrambler]

it’s always the jock, the nerd and their dad

[schemmentits]

Emily: When I first met you I didn’t like you.

Derek: I’m aware of that.

Emily: But then you and I spent some time together.

Derek, getting excited: Uh-huh?

Emily: It did not get any better…

[mywilltodie]

Prentiss, standing with her back turned to the door : I’ve been expecting you, Derek .

Morgan : How did you do that without turning around?

Prentiss: … To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

[redhoodie1723]

even more duos!

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 6 part 7 part 8

[amell333]

Incorrect Bau quotes

*Reader getting off a call.* : ugh i don't have the energy for this.

Reader: Spence, can I stay at yours tonight?

Spencer: yeah sure… why tho?

Reader: my dad just called and said his crazy sister is satying at mine because they gotta help grandpa move back to the farm soon.

Hotch: …

Rossi: …

Reader: …

Reader: ok what is it!?

Hotch: I didn’t give you a call.

Rossi: and I’m definitely not moving to a farm… I’ve never even lived on a farm!

Reader: … haha good joke.

Them: …

Reader: … wait you’re serious!? Omg fine ‘sorry’ I meant my blood connected family members. Happy now?

Them: Much better thank you. It gets a little confusing sometimes.

Everyone+Reader: …wtf just happened  

[reidswetgun]

They always make me feel so lonely 😭🥲

[profoundstarfishmusic]

[schemmentits]

Derek: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Emily: What the hell?!

Derek: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Derek, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Emily, also whispering: Of course. What do you need?

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Reid: Time for plan F.

Rossi: Don’t you mean plan B?

Reid: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Derek: What about plan D?

Reid: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Emily: What about plan E?

Reid: I’m hoping not to use it. JJ dies in plan E.

Emily: Absolutely not. Plan F it is!