#demo hc

[th3tism]

Ehem ehem, what a out mercs witha SO that cinfessed their ferlings while completly drunk out of their mind. (Would really like to see what you would write for spy, heavy and sniper 😩😩)

YES MA'AM/SIR (sorry idk what to use 😭)

Mercs: Demo, spy, heavy, sniper

Warning: mentions of alcohol (obviously)

Mercs reaction to you drunkenly telling them you love them

Demo:

Oh he's saying yes immediately

He's probably also drunk so instead of "I love you too" it'd probably sound like "I'm lobe yom too"

Guys he's trying

Heavy:

He's a little surprised

He's taking your ass to bed immediately after that

He'll probably say something like "You're drunk. Go to sleep."

He will say he feels the same when you wake up tho

Sniper:

This is him ⬇️

He's shookath

He's shoked

Like heavy, he's taking your ass to bed

NOT LIKE THAT!!!!

He won't tell you he feels the same IMMEDIATELY

But he will work up the confidence to do say like a week later

Spy:

Yeeeaaah you're ass is going to bed with him

It is like that

Kind of like Sniper, he won't tell you immediately but not because he's shy It's just because it's Spy and he's probably more focused on work than a relationship (this is very biased)

But he does still like you if it makes ya feel any better 😀👍🏻

[didgeriduwu]

TF2 Mercs going to Woodstock headcanon that was too big to fit into a list with my others

Scout hears a rumour that Tom Jones is playing (he is not) and turns his Scout powers (being annoying) up to 11 until everyone gives in.

Demo causes a suspiciously well-timed ceasefire by "accidentally" blowing up some important equipment.

They take Sniper's campervan. Snipes is not made aware of this until he wakes up to said van on the highway and 6 other mercs jammed in the back with him. He may or may not have been drugged.

Nobody questions why Scout has a key to Sniper's van. After this, Scout no longer has a key to Sniper's van.

Engie and Medic make some variant of pyro goggles, but patriot themed so Soldier doesnt go on too much of a hippie murder spree. He thinks Jimmy Hendrix is the president for years afterwards.

Demo immediately starts making and trading fireworks for substances.

Scout asks every act to play Sex Bomb, and some actually comply. Joan Baez's cover is particularly good.

Hippies are blowing actual bubbles everywhere when they get there, and Pyro is terrified. No one knows but Pyro what bubbles look like to them.

Scout spends the entire time climbing up the rest of the team to try and see better. Sniper is the only one who gives in and stops throwing him off.

After they get over their fear of bubbles (mostly), Pyro is adopted by a group of artists who think their art style is "anti-establishment" and "groovy".

Nobody knows why spy came. It may have something to do with Scout's inability to buy drugs no matter how hard he tries. His inability to get laid is unrelated.

Solly accidentally starts a naked honey-clad orgy. He's confused why no one is fighting.

Medic brought a suspicious quantity of lab supplies. On an unrelated note, is this LSD stronger than usual?

Other Headcanons!

Misc.: Part 1 | Part 2 Themed: Sex

[rowrowronnie]

shirtless mercs doodles !

[danyvhell-writes]

General Ais headcanons (Touchstarved)

GN reader | The obsession with this game is real guys :') I can't get away

─────

• Cat boyfriend like, bro will fall asleep on you (your chest, lap...) but if you dare to move just a little tiny bit the magic is over ! He will wake up instantly and go somewhere else to take a nap :')

• He's not gonna tell you but he likes when you touch his hair. Caress him, touch his horns, ruffle his hair even ! He's down for it and the moment you discover his little secret he'll give you endless opportunities to do so

• ↑ Scratch his head, please. Weak spot is right at the junction of his back horns, tug softly on his hair and the boy will melt.

• Ais is a man of few words but he really enjoys talking with you. Most of the time he'll annoy you just as an excuse to interact with you so you can start talking with him (and 99% of the time it works). He finds your little conversations entertaining and relaxing somehow.

• Btw, this guy will listen to you rambling. Talk about your latest obsession, stuff you like, things that seem unimportant : he will listen. He's curious to know more and especially if it's related to your fascinating person. Sometimes he'll just sit next to you and lean in your space just to have a better hearing of what you're saying. It might feel like you're monopolising the conversation but no no, he'll respond with snarky comments, laugh if you say something funny or ask you to keep going with your story. And also, he really likes your voice so...

• You remember when he said "I got eyes in the back of my head." ? (something like that) Well yeah ! His eyes are on you, always. His gaze will follow you wherever you are, with or without him. I'm sure this man uses the Groupmind to spy on MC ! Like bro come on, stop crushing this hard.

• If you have pets, they're not yours anymore. He WILL adopt them. Could be any animal or magic creature really, he will offer them absolute love in just two seconds. "Oh, this is my cat ! Her name's Nori, you can pet her if you want, she's super friendly." *pets her* "Oh yes you are !" *lifts her up so he can take her in his arms like a baby*  "Look at you, you're gorgeous. Such pretty eyes, cute little face, kitty kitty~ !" 

• He loves seeing you close to his soulless but he's also a tiny bit jealous to see that you sometimes prefer Princess' company rather than his. He'd be like "Uh hello I can do tricks too if that's what you like ??"

• He likes tea. That's it. That's the headcanon. No more seriously... I feel like he could be a tea amateur and genuinely enjoys a good cup of tea. If you don't know alot about it, he'll teach you the different types, how to infuse them correctly, what dishes you can pair them up with ! Want to learn how to make a real exquisite matcha tea ? He'll show you with much pride ! 

• ↑ Chit chat with him around some tea he made and he's yours. Bonus point if you ask for more. Extra bonus point if you're able to guess which tea it is.

• Has a special cup he keeps just for you when you visit him. He remembers your favourite drink and makes sure to always have a bottle/the ingredients when you come.

• If Ais is an oni, he might be japanese, so, this man speaks japanese. Most people think that because of his appearance he'd be super rude but oh no no no, the boy is polite. People assume he'd use 'ore' but nah ah, full 'watashi' user over here. You know that thing when your voice and demeanor changes a little when you switch languages ? That's him. His voice tends to go softer when he speaks japanese, he doesn't even realize.

• We know he likes learning about new languages, teach him some stuff. Of course he'll remember the curse words & insults quickly but pet names and romantic nouns are his favourites. If you're polyglot, show off a little, he likes it. Talk in your native tongue, even if he doesn't get anything at first, he will crush even harder. "Eh t'savais que les girafes avaient le même nombre de vertèbres que nous ? C'est juste qu'elles sont plus longues. C'est ouf ça !" "You make French sound so attractive and I'm sure you're not even saying anything particularly sexy..." "Yep !" "God, I want them so bad." he thinks

• After some time, you'd both start to naturally use words or phrases you've taught each other/you've heard from each other. He'd flex on you just to show how much of a fast learner he is, he wants to see you proud of him.

• Cracks his joints. A lot. Also stretches a lot.

• That guy who asks you to pull on his arms or whatever to help him stretch as hard as possible. "More." "What do you mean more ? I'm gonna break your bones !" "I said more, I"m not fragile you know." until you hear a big 'pop' and he sighs with contentment.

• If you burp in front of him, he'll make it a competition. "You think this is a big one ? Oh sparrow... you're a little player." And then proceeds to traumatize you for the next decade. "Do you have the fucking devil in you ???" "Nope, just my friend Ocudeus. He's gross, I know >:)"

• Traces small patterns along your skin when he's bored. He's really gentle when it comes to touching you.

• That type of guy who's obsessed with your hair, especially if it has a different texture than his. You could be doing anything and this bastard (affectionate) will twirl your hair, put clips in it, try hairstyles if you let him. He'll let you do the same to him if you want ! Go on, have fun with your new doll lmao

• Give him the silliest clothes and accessories, he will wear them. The bimboest crop top ? Yeah cool. Bat hair clips ? Cute. 

• Would joke about eating you to scare you but strangely you're always the one ending up biting him ! (not that he minds)

• 100% asks you if you want to fight. Like not in a threatening way but to test you out, he wants to see if you can handle a little sparring. 

• If you're someone who enjoys working out, he proposes to train with you. It sometimes follows to some sparring which might end up with you guys kissing... weird uh

• Has a particularly good memory. He remembers things that even yourself forgot, like really he’s your second brain (and often you’re glad). Everytime you’re asking him “How do you even remember that tf ??” and he’s just “Don’t know 🤷🏻‍♂️“

• You're the type of person who calls any guy 'bro' ? No prob, he finds it funny. He's not offended in the slightest and even actually likes it, he knows it's a language tic. Would definitely send you this type of dumb shit ouezghfoez 😭

• He can be a little chaotic sometimes but you like it. After all he’s a demon, he likes joking and pranking so even better if you join him in his mischievous activities hehe. You guys would do the silliest stuff and try not to burst out laughing. Evil ones, evil.          

• Does that cute thing where he leans in close to you when you’re watching something and follows your gaze. He’s just a curious lil guy !

[anonymous-eggy]

did you see that new Leander thing ... i won't leave you and you won't leave me HELLO ??? EXCUSE ME ??? that was crazy

I DID I SAW IT IMMEDIATELY AND SENT IT TO ONE OF MY PARTNERS LOSING MY MIND. it's such a tasty little morsel. it made me giggle and kick my legs and foam at the mouth (─‿‿─)♡

im absolutely loving the sneak peaks in general of leander, it helps me build my leander playlist bc im so picky ab what songs i put on there (￣～￣;)

what i cant wait for is when the voice actors are revealed. im literally going to lose my marbles. i must apologize in advance for the person i will become when that day arrives

[pope-neuro]

BRAINS & BATTLEFIELDS - PAGE 15

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Masterlist

[nekoooooo-p]

Demo: Yandere Hatsune Miku Headcanons

art by: yanderous on Tumblr

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CW: internet stalking; (a little) gaslighting

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This is a demo, which may become a full-fledged large text, written and with a plot. Keyword MAY-..it all depends on you guys, you just have to ask me!

This is just an attempt to distract from the Phosphophyllite headcanons, since there is text there for five seconds of free fast scrolling down... and that's not all...That's why I'm stupidly tired of this and I desperately need a distraction HAHAHA

BTW, VERY FUN FACT.

Based (mostly) on real events :)

Enjoy!

------------×------------

× You don't know each other.

× Do you know why?

× Because she's just a robot.

× Vocal synthesizer without identity.

× All that is known about her is known from fans and her design.

× Empty.

× ...

× She is loved.

× She's popular.

× And you also see her on community pages, like drawings, listen to music, and perhaps try to do something creative yourself.

× Of course, you didn't know just Miku.

× You knew other Vocaloids too. Rin, Len, Luka, Meiko, Gumi, Flower, Fukase - there were a lot of them, you didn’t know them all, but you heard about many.

× You began to notice that many people had a favorite. And you also decided to choose your favorite Vocaloid.

× The simplest and quite normal choice was Miku.

× But you decided to take someone else as your favorite, because loving Miku is banal.

× The choice has been made.

× . . .

× It doesn’t matter who you chose, but you dreamed about them

.

.

.

× You dreamed of them fighting with Miku.

× In an old school building, two people were strangling each other. Two vocal synthesizers. ×

× It seems that the thin fingers of the long-haired girl with ponytails were squeezing someone else’s throat an order of magnitude stro

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× You woke up.

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× The dream was strange, but in the end it was just a dream - you struggled with yourself for a long time, trying to choose one of the two - and you didn’t choose Miku. That's why you dreamed about some bullshit.

×

× ...

× Overall, no big deal.

------------×------------

× It is vital for you to finish the project, but instead you are interested in reading some article on the Internet.

× You read the article with curiosity and look at the comments.

× People share opinions there - nothing unusual....

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.

× ...Until you suddenly see Miku in the book cover photo.

× You stare at this in surprise - the article was not about Vocaloids at all, just like the comment itself with the photo.

× You take a screenshot with a laugh, close the article and finally remember about the project. Haha, it was funny, Miku reminded you of your studies.

× You jokingly thank the non-existent character out loud and take out your notebooks.

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× As it turned out, you had something to thank Miku for - you were called in during class and asked to answer with almost no preparation.

× Of course, such coincidences make you even a little scared - but only if they are repeated often. So it was just really funny now.

× You told your friends about this coincidence, you laughed together and celebrated the excellent completion of the project.

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× It's funny, but one day you again came across a funny coincidence - the author of your favorite fanfic not from the Vocaloid fandom suddenly added Miku to the plot as a reference and a side character.

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× Oh , how small the world is!

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× The dream repeated itself.

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× You began to have trouble sleeping - your dreams became strange and distorted. Once you even dreamed of some outright nonsense with Miku figurines.

× You were in your own room, scrolling through the marketplace. And saw strange, unfinished figures there.

× M i k u. ×

× At one point, one of the figures independently adds itself to the basket and you laugh. For some reason.

× Suddenly the second figure does the same.

× . . .

× Then the third. Then the fourth.

× This caused bewilderment, laughter and showed only the absurdity of a strange situation.

× And then you suddenly looked at the floor behind the phone... and saw there a whole bunch of scary, unfinished, broken, mangled toys and Hatsune Miku figurines.

× You back away - and the figures keep growing and growing in geometric progression.

× You are afraid that now they will fill the entire room, and you will suffocate in this huge pile of plastic - but as soon as your back hits an obstacle, you wake up.

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× And what was that?

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× Nothing changes in your life - everything is quite as usual, the same communication, the same activities, the same living space, the same environment. Everything is calm and as usual.

× You don't pay attention to the little things.

× You see Miku a lot of places - on other people’s badges, notepads, many people ask if you know her, ask you to tell her, you see her periodically in advertisements...And this is provided that Miku and Vocaloids, in principle, were not so popular in your circle!

× Sekai must have made Vocaloids more famous and that's why you started bumping into Miku so often.

×

× ..but why Miku?

× After all, during all the time you saw something definitely related to Sekai only a couple of times, while Miku in her various manifestations almost always. You even bothered to meet a cosplayer who wanted to cosplay as Miku.

× You communicated actively for some time, but then something went wrong and you quarreled.

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.

.

× ...By the way, when you almost stopped communicating, you later found out that he refused to cosplay Miku for some reason.

× An interesting coincidence.

× Somehow there are a ton of them, don’t you think?

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.

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× One day you saw a badge with Miku on the bag of one person, with whom you later had to get to know each other better due to certain circumstances. You talked for a couple of hours out of necessity and you complimented their badge.

"What are you talking about? I've never had a badge with Hatsune Miku..."

× The confused face of your interlocutor unsettled you.

× But...but you saw!

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.

× what the heck?

× And this happened several times. You even thought that you had problems with vision or memory...

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× The frequency of appearances of the Vocaloid girl in your life reached the point of absurdity. After all, in addition to appearing in your feed and advertising, she was also in your real life - acquaintances, conversations, badges, other merch, unusual projects of classmates and even in fucking magazines.

× You bumped into her absolutely everywhere.

× And then at some point you decided to download Vocaloid.

× You found your favorite producer who used your favorite vocaloid, you listened to the music of this producer, and finally you wanted to make covers or songs yourself.

× You were looking for a pirated version because you didn’t have money, although you were ashamed, in a sense, to download a pirated version.

× The voice bank you found in the public domain was... Miku's voice bank!

× In general, you weren’t against it - you liked Miku, but she was somewhere in second or third place on the list of favorites.

× When you started making covers using her bank, a question arose - why do many people say that Miku is difficult for a beginner? You were great at tuning her voice. And people liked your covers.

×

× ...

× ....by the way, it’s strange that you no longer come across Miku anywhere other than your feed.

<----------×--------->

End of demo.

<---------×---------->

[2frosty4you]

Crushing on You [Demoman]

mmm scottish (demo is probs one of my fav mercs ngl) | Demoman x Fem!reader | 301 words | masterlist |Request/Ask box

╒═══════════════════╕

I am a firm believer that you would need to be close friends with demo for him to catch feelings, or if you’re caring for him while he’s drunk or injured; the butterflies bottled in his stomach are gonna come through.

Demo would always be drunk from that point to even talk to you, you make him nervous and the only way he knows how to solve that is via scrumpy

He’s got his stomach pumped 5 times by medic already

He rambles about you while drunk, be it you don’t really know if its about you but you can make out your name through his drunken slurred words.

If you carry his drunk ass to bed? He’s gone the moment someone mentions it.

Drunkenly kills the enemy mercs for you; he saves you from half their team, takes a swig from his scrumpy and falls over.

Very calm and laid back (this is a lie his is nervous but doesn't show it) 

Shows off his grenades and explosives to you.

Shows you his eyelander, if you dare praise that haunted sword he will lock it in a crate from jealousy.

“Headddsssss?”

“Nah yo spooky bitch, takin me love from me”

He calls you 'love' when he's drunk, don't mention it to him.

Takes you to meet his mother and god damn she keeps raving about you and him getting married.

“Oh shut up and let them talk travish”

“Mum!?”

You and his mother end up close, if your class is close to demo’s then shes more interested but if you’re strong and smart she’s betting on the two of you getting together, no matter how old or blind she is.

He would confess to you if hes EXTREMELY DRUNK, when he’s stressed he drinks so if you find him in this state he’s gonna ramble about you and mutter out a confession.

╘═══════════════════╛

[sandovartez]

demoman/administrator hook up lore pt. 1

[sporesucker]

what i think the mercs got put on death row for

(please keep in mind that i couldn't find much info about death sentences in New Mexico in the 60s-70s but the info i did find is being used to make this as realistic as possible)

(also emesis blue lore states that they were put on death row, idk if this complies w/ canon or not but whatever its a cool concept)

Demoman: aircraft piracy resulting in death. him and soldier thought it would be good ol' fun to do this to celebrate a victory after a battle. only reason solider didn't get caught for this too was bc he jumped out of the gottamn plane and demo was too mf wasted to flee the scene as well. now its something they both look back on fondly. good times.

Engie: murder related to a drug trafficking offense. idk why but i hc him as being a recovering addict. he stopped once he saw what it made him do and how it was affecting his loves ones (i am projecting) the team celebrates the anniversary of him going sober every year.

Heavy: alr heavy is a fuckin badass so he definitely did some fucked up murder but it was to protect his family. could possibly be involved with solider's 1st charge too. aka solider involuntarily got him wrapped up in it because he wanted to show heavy some good old fashioned american fun. heavy did not approve

Medic: bffr we all know what this bitch was in for. bro got a lil too loosey goosey with his intentional medical malpractice resulting in multitudes of murder. he does not care. he will do it again.

Pyro: terrorism. they didn't mean to tho.

Scout: i firmly believe he has killed. he just fucking lost it at one point and beat someone to death in a public setting. he freaked out afterwards and it messed him up for awhile after it. nobody brings it up and scout pretends like it never happened. my source? i was there i was the one he beat to death.

Soldier: kidnapping the president/treason. he tried to represent himself in court which didn't go over spectacularly. his reasoning was that he thought if he beat the other potential kidnappers to it, the president would be safer than ever. he doesnt understand how this is betraying his country, he literally was protecting its most important member????? heavy was involved in this as well because solider told him that they were going on a little boys night outing. heavy was confused why this boys night consisted of only 2 men and took place at the whitehouse.

Sniper: tbh simple murder charge. i think this guy has a lot going on and he just genuinely enjoys killing. hes the quiet, reserved type and used to working on his own which is part of the reason why he doesn't care as much about winning as he does killing. nothing else gives him the same pleasure.

Spy: you saw this one coming. espionage. idc if its basic or lazy but all the other capital punishment-worthy crimes are too low-down and dirty for him to take a stab at them. he sticks to what hes good at. also there was that one guy who was executed who made the "french fries" joke but im making it again bc its my post. french fries lmao.

[th3tism]

Heeeyyy im here againnnn

Was planning on requesting more stuff tomorrow but i just learned of this thing.

Its a snake whiskey. Made fron an actual snake. I want the mercs reaction cuz what.

(This send me down a rabbit hole and now i know that there are things like scorpion wgiskey and vodka, centipede vodka and tarantula vodka)

Omg dude that looks actually terrifying 😭 that being said I would drink that if someone paid me

THE MERCS DRINKING SNAKE WHISKEY!!!!!

Mercs: Demo, Sniper, Engineer, Heavy

Demo:

He'll chug that shit no problem 💀

He probably drank worst

Also, it's whiskey. My man is drinking that shit up‼️‼️‼️

Sniper:

Like demo, he'd probably just drink it

The man was raised in Australia He's probably eaten a snake before

He wouldn't be as casual about it, but he'd still drink it

Heavy:

Idk if he drinks, but he is a grown ass man so it wouldn't really matter

He'd probably think it's gross and pass (respectfully)

Engineer:

You pour it for him without the snake he'll drink it

With the snake, maybe not

He'll also probably think it's a bit gross and respectfully pass

But if you butter him up just a bit he'd probably drink a shot glass of it

[crewtawn]

The summer update is here! Yippee!

I forgot to make a summer update post, so here's some of the less loved tf2 characters (in my opinion) having some quality vacation time!

[danyvhell-writes]

vere hcs? preferably for a sub reader but it's fine either way!! thx a lot :P

General Vere headcanons (Touchstarved)

GN reader - no warnings | Thanks for the ask <333 Took me more time than I planned but here it is ! (Sorry for the wait lil anon, I was quite busy this month :') Writing about him was so fun, he's just so malicious and silly ?? Hope you'll like it hehe >:)

• Anything becomes a reason to tease you ! A little smile you gave him ? A blush ? Stammering even just a bit ? He will tease you to death if he can.

• He sees everything. Think you can hide something from him ? Ah, how naive of you. If something bothers you he will know, don't try to put on a mask. "Oh someone seems upset hm..." "No I'm not !" "I just said someone, why do you think you were targeted MC ? Care to explain yourself ?" he says with his devious little smile. You don't even need to speak, he reads you like an open book :').

• Not one to talk about his feelings openly but definitely makes you know when he appreciates your company ! It might be by taking you to private operas, going to fancy teahouse, gifting you little paintings he did, inviting you for shopping and more...

• Want to know how he truly feels ? Pay attention to his ears. They tell a lot more than he does, depending on how they twitch, their angle and much more... reading him becomes way easier.

• Would 100% write you letters. Casual letters where he just writes about his life, spicy letters where he describes in various ways how he would devour you... Whenever he needs to express something, he writes to you and doesn't even expect an answer ! You'll open your enveloppe and see "I can't believe Vanessa, this absolute rotten bitch, stole my silver ring ! Can you believe it MC ? I should rip her finger off with the ring and keep it so she remembers her wrong..."

• If he can get any reaction from you, it's a win. Loves to see how you'll respond to his flirty proposition, especially if you get flustered 👀

• You know this type of people who hit furnitures/stuff when they laugh ? Well Vere does it but with his tail, tell a funny joke and you can be sure you'll get hit (gently...or not) with it !

• Would be thrilled to analyze your sketchbook if you're an artist. Trying to hide it from him ? Not an option, you will show him everything ! I just know he'll sneak it to look through every pages, taking notes of striking elements and how your artstyle translates with different techniques.

→ Drawing sessions with him omg ! At first he'd joke about needing a live model and why not try nude modeling but at the end you guys end up super concentrated in your respective art piece. Definitely wouldn't mind becoming your muse tho...

↑ Adding into this but, he'd leave little notes and cute doodles when you're not looking. You just open your sketchbook and see next to your recent stuff "The lines are timid I know you can do better ;)"or "I was there..." or even "Draw me next time ! I'll be the best piece."

• The both of you together can easily become absolute menace to society. The cheer chaos you can cause is too much for this city ! If Kuras ever finds out about your malicious plans, he'll be disappointed.

• Will let you brush his hair and tail if you're good enough. "Mess with my hair and you know what awaits you !" Please convince him to try new hairstyles, make him even prettier than he already is >:)

• As much as he is an expensive fox, he'll enjoy homemade gifts. He won't show it too much but he keeps everything you've made for him at his place. Bonus point if it's decorative pieces ! (The thought of you taking time to put effort into something for him makes him smile more than he can admit).

• This man likes to cook so don't hesitate giving him recipes you like. Not sure he'll succeed preparing them but the effort is always well put ! If you're good in a kitchen, he'll find an excuse to cook/bake with you.

• Enjoys showing you around the city, especially secret places. He doesn't just share his secret spots with anyone so you can feel privileged !

→ Talking about spots he likes, he will take you to his favourite restaurants. You'd expect fancy, luxurious place but no ! Most of them are little family business owned by the same people since decades. The food is straight up heavenly and you let him know. "I've been around this city long enough to know the best places ! You shouldn't be surprised."

• Grows really protective of you. Of course he knows you can defend yourself, but if anyone dares to hurt you, they'll have to face lethal consequences. Anyone threatening you "Do you want me to break their kneecaps ? I can also hit their sciatic nerve if you wish ! Or maybe-" "Vere no."

• If you enjoy some good gossip, you're gonna be fed just right with this guy ! We know he knows everything, he's the ears of the city. Juicy drama to shocking revelation, he's got every type of story in stock ! All you gotta do is ask and the conversation will last for hours.

• If you're in his presence, forget about personal space. Your space is his now ! His body will always be in contact with yours, even if it's not noticeable at first.

• Makeover ? Yes. You will be his personal doll. If he has to test outfits, color combinations or other stuff you'll be his subject ! He'll try a lot of different clothes on you until you look like the hottest person alive (after him). Dressing you up is one of his favourite activities and of course you guys would wear matching outfits. You two are just ✨fashion✨.

• Don't know why but I feel like he would love playing board/card games, especially if they involve money ! Think you can win against him ? Nope no chance, bluffing is too easy for him and he's an absolute beast (pun intended). Just picture him playing 'loup-garou' (The werewolves of miller's hollow in english I think ? My french ass can't remember), I know he'd kill it !

• Has a very distinctive laugh. You could hear him from miles away and recognize him instantly ! Also it's kinda infectious, if he starts bursting out laughing, you'll easily follow into it.

• This man growls. Like literally. It doesn't happen a lot but whenever he does it always surprises you.

• This is him :

[bobamilkk]

TF2 HEADCANONS PART TWO ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

I told myself I’d get these up one of these days👍 I finished this list at 4 am last night so none of this makes any sense and every word is more chaotic than the ones before it and no I’m not sorry y’all sighed up for this bs

Scout

-Can understand a good chunk of French but can’t speak more than a few simple words if that, has no clue how he understands it (Spy spoke a good amount of French around him as a baby or something idk)

-Can be just has hard to find as Spy-once you loose sight of him he’s impossible to find if he’s actually trying to stay hidden-Like father like son

-Can and will steal your food-this includes Heavy and Medic-He has no fear whatsoever and has been sent to respawn god knows how many fucking times because of this-And yet he still does it

-Loves scifi movies and comics and if you watch a movie with him half of it is him pointing out random trivia facts because he’s incapable of shutting the fuck up (this is also what happens when you watch a movie with me irl. My grandparents are sick and tired of it. Yes this is even more self projection what of it?)

-has mastered the younger sibling talent of fucking climbing people if it means getting something that’s held over his head. He also bites

Soldier

-it’s impossible to tell if he’s insulting you or complimenting you 90% of the time

-Has stabbed Scout’s hand to the table to prevent him from stealing food before and no one stopped him

-The team has movie nights once a week and Soldier always puts on the same inaccurate WW2 documentary he made himself when it’s his turn to pick-he used to put on 10 hours of the American National Anthem but someone (read: The rest of the team working together) lost (read: Violently destroyed) the tape after the third time

-I said he was from Missouri once in a rp cuz my rp friend and I are both from different parts of Missouri so that’s my hc now

Pyro

-I always hc him as Irish for some reason idk why

-Can casually pick up every merc except for Heavy-He struggles a bit with Medic because that man is pure muscle but they can indeed pick him up

-May or may not be a cannibal-it’s a little uncertain but either way they’re banned from the kitchen and cooking duty

-I’m a sucker for the hc that he does not like water whatsoever-Getting this man a bath is like trying to bathe a cat except somehow even more deadly

Demo

-This may be the impulsive sleep deprivation but my brain randomly went “What If he can see general ghosts because of his possessed eye socket, not just Eyelander or the scream fortress ghosts” so sometimes people walk in on him casually having a conversation with the air. Considering he’s made out with his own organs in his head, this is one of the less weird things they’ve walked in on him doing

-Surprisingly he’s the best with kids out of all 9 mercs, Heavy is a good runner up though and Spy’s not far behind but will never admit it

Heavy

-Accent gets thicker when he’s talking to people he cares about

-Was the one who suggested the movie nights in the first place

-Actually cleans up in the base unlike literally everyone else

Engie

-People don’t realize how unhinged this man is ok??? Anyways he’s a caffeine addict and has developed the habit of pulling way too many all nighters if it means getting work done (like me. It’s 4 am as I work on this list. Help)

-What’s a southern farm boy without a few dozen concerning stories about pushing cousins out of second story barn windows or near drowning fishing story? My cousins lived on a farm when we were kids and they scared the shit out of me I swear there was a new broken bone every summer

-probably once had a sleep deprived mental breakdown on his workshop floor because the sweet tea one of the mercs made him wasn’t sweet enough idk man I’m sleep deprived rn and could really use a southern style sweet tea

Medic

-Mann vs Machine hc that his hometown would rather deal with the robots than having Medic anywhere near them ever again. They want him GONE

-Sleeps like a fucking corpse-You can’t even tell he’s breathing unless you look closely. He even crosses his arms like a corpse

-Will take you graverobbing for a romantic date-gotta get experiment canvases somehow he’s running out of room on the other mercs without them just dropping dead from it all

Sniper

-The opposite of a morning person, but his internal clock won’t let him sleep in ever. The suns up? He’s up! Someone help him

-Has befriended a wild owl and feeds it at night-The offense trio very violently helped him name it (They fist fought eachother over who’s name was better while Sniper spaced out thinking about random gator facts)

Spy

-An adrenaline junkie but will never ever admit it

-Spy can mimic voices to a near perfect even without his disguise kit-he however rarely uses this and instead simply mocks everyone instead because he finds it funny (“This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!”)

-Wears a corset because I said so-It always matches perfectly with his outfit and underwear too-He feels SO bonita

Bonus since it’s Pride Month

-Scout is gay and so many levels deep in the closet it’s embarrassing-He’s also trans because I said so

-Soldier is trans, bi, and poly :) his list of wives consists of anyone and everyone /j

-Spy is bi and a cis man who wears dresses regularly he’s gnc af and I love that for him he’s my wife now

-Medic is gay and still legally married to his wife they’re mlm wlm solidarity married for tax benefits /j

-Pyro is trans, non-binary, and pan and uses he/they pronouns because I said so

-None of these men are straight ok

-Medic did both Scout and Soldier’s top surgery but both of them instead have overly extravagant extremely gorey stories on how they got their scars

[pope-neuro]

BRAINS & BATTLEFIELDS - PAGE 13

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[marionmorse]

Ohh my absolute goodness..

side note, one look at Heavy and Medic on the character lineup at the teamfortress.com homepage tells you EVERYTHING about their marriage

Anyway, the god... damn... I can't get over... just, Engineer TF2 and the duality of his character. Like, he's one-hundred percent someone to pull on gator skin boots, a ten gallon, get all yee-hawed up for a night out at the dance hall. But then go home and infodump about hotchkiss drives, stress-strain curves, and reflow soldering.

There are some specific competitive lines that comes to mind that are JARRING to hear in his honeyed-up Texas voice along with shit like "hooo-whee, makin' bacon!" and "START PRAYIN', BOY." Maybe that's just a huge part of the appeal to his character, but think about his BUDDIES, too.

Medic is probably quite familiar with American stereotypes pre-Gravel Wars, doesn't expect much from a bumbling rural southerner with a generic set of tools upon first glance. but.., he's a bit BLOWN AWAY when Engie gets all inquisitive about the ins and outs of the medi-gun. Wants to look into how the serum works as a mechanical component, the powering and logic behind it all, even overwhelms med's (limited) level of delicate mechanical knowledge. his arc is all, "okay, so, this little guy might be a bigger-brained fella than I expected!" The punting of med's early-day ego and subsequent forging of their friendship is just so... ourgh... I love characters and arcs and stories and growth and...

Also, Soldier! The all-American Ultra Yank who doesn't see eye-to-eye with Engie at first. They've both got contrasting leadership qualities when it comes down to it, fr, a- a- and, AND, soldier HATES nerds. Engie's a nerd. Big time. It takes a while for that mutual love respect to build up, you know? do you catch my drift? I'm just rambling now.

ALSO also, Engineer himself going from the more introverted, lone-wolf type we see in Meet the Engineer to a sort of leader, the level-headed de-escalator we see in Expiration Date. The guy who feels for and loves his team, but no doubt brings out the 'Texas' in 'em all. It's kinda cute. I imagine he taught everyone square dancing at some point, 'cause how else would they know?

In the end, I just love to think of Engie as being one of the cornerstones of the team's overall culture. i mean, he's a solid family guy - cooks the breakfasts, fixes the (practical) problems, heck, plays music, tells stories, keeps 'em together when times are tough. We ALL know that some of him has to rub off on the team he bunks with for years. Not in a father-figure way, nahh, but certainly in a Dad Friend way. Big difference.

(Can you tell who my favorite character is yet? (demo, actually. And Heavy. come to think of it, the defense trio is the love of my life. My boys. (I could write and MLA-formatted essay about the balance of culture and personality within the Tuefort Nine, citations intact.)))