#delphine’s on-again off-again boyfriend

[bibliosims]

pierre guillaume

[starryschoolgirl]

I'm in love with your au Baby Love!! I assume since it's an au it won't be an issue if I ask if kids are ever on the docket for Elvis and Cosette? And if they do have kids, how many would they have? Or how many have you got planned at the moment? Again, love it all so much and I'm very excited for the next installment!!

Oh what a lovely question! I will take this ask as an opportunity to make the introductions for the Baby Love au children!

Baby Love Family Tree

Cosette & Elvis' 5 children, & how they came to be

First a small clarification! The children, their attitudes, their behavior, and their views on life are heavily influenced by the old-money Chevalier side of the family. This is because for the majority of their childhood Elvis was quite busy with work, so Cosette was almost entirely raising them on her own views which are heavily influenced by her family's views.

Vacations and getaways from 1969 to 1980 were often with the Chevalier side and Elvis' side was too busy caught up in show business. So if you read their profiles and wonder why their attitudes/aesthetics stray from their father's so much, it's due to that lack of connection in childhood despite all the love that Elvis could and would give.

//mention of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)

Now, onto the little darlings!

Out of all the Presley children, Manon is most like her father personality-wise, which has led to a bit of clashing with her father. She is the first born, right before the spring of 1969. She's named after her mysterious aunt, her mother's sister who is rarely ever spoken about. She's also been dubbed her paternal grandmother's middle name.

Manon was only 12 or 13 when the Yuppie culture of the early 80s began to skyrocket, being the modern girl she is, she of course wanted to take part in that culture. To be a yuppie was to be educated with a solid job, to achieve that she remained on top of her studies, and when it finally came time she graduated overall salutatorian of her class, just one rank below her boyfriend whom she would unfortunately have to end things with.

After graduation, she followed in the footsteps of her uncles and went to Yale, staying with some Chevalier cousins in Connecticut where most of her maternal family is. During her time at Yale she would attend numerous parties as she's a girl with connections, and through those parties she would meet her future husband, Sergey Petroff, 4 years older than her and a new stockbroker. The two of course hit it off as she herself is studying finance.

She's definitely a mommy's girl, but that's just because her and her father are so alike that there are times that the two can't stand each other, but that's not to say she doesn't absolutely adore her father.

The twins. The spoiled rotten princesses of the Presley family. Born just 32 minutes apart on a cold winter day at the very start of 1970.

The two, out of all the children, had shown the most interest in their daddy's career. While Celine was more interested in the business side of it, as a little girl even listening in on her daddy's meetings, Delphine was more interested in the flashy bits.

And she always got her way. All Delphine had to do was point her little finger at something and moments later it would be paid for and in her hands.

With both their interests in show business, or rather just the high life in general having been obvious since birth, they were allowed to start their own adventure, in modeling at the age of 17. After begging since the age of 13, Cosette and Elvis finally gave in, and only allowed them to start modelling with longtime trusted family friend, Jerry Schilling as their manager.

Delphine absolutely loves the life of modeling and loves doing it with her sister. But Celine has always felt a slight emptiness from it all, she'd much rather be one of the people behind the scenes, making up the contracts and making the money.

Julie Jesse Presley, the first born son. He was born in early 1971 after a long and hard pregnancy.

His daddy had teased his mommy for giving him such an effeminate name, but she loved it, and said it suited him, he had this angelic beauty about him. He was also of course named after a dear angel in the family, Elvis' stillborn brother, so there were no qualms about it.

Unfortunately he passed away from SIDS only 23 days after his birth.

He is missed terribly and always remembered. There was a point in time however that little confused Manon hated him, as his death was a turning point for the family, and shed light on underlying issues in Cosette and Elvis' marriage, which would eventually give way for divorce.

The youngest Presley child, Memphis Michael Presley. Born in '74, amidst the divorce of his parents no less. But his birth is sort of the saving grace of the Presley-Chevalier union.

After learning of her pregnancy, and of course needing to tell the court, the court would not approve the famed divorce dispute to be finalized until after the birth of the son.

Had the divorce not been drawn out those extra months, the Presley-Chevalier union would've ended in those rainy, windy months

Despite the fact that he was supposed to be the glue to the family, he grew to have a rather stressed relationship with his father.

Memphis followed in the footsteps of his older sister and maternal side of the family by attending Yale on a football scholarship. The sport is one of the few things that could bring Elvis and Memphis together.

The tension in the relationship stemmed from Elvis' fame. Hearing stories about how his father had treated his mother for a point in time of course filled Memphis with a little bit of frustration when he went from being a little boy who looked up to his daddy, to being a man who felt the need to look after his mama.

Memphis often felt that if his father wasn't famous the two of them would be closer. Fame took his father's time away from him growing up, and now his father's fame overshadowed him as no one took his interest in being involved in politics seriously. All because people were too busy staring at the shadow of his father that staggered over him.

It's also to be noted that out of all the children, he took after the ideals and attitudes of the Chevalier side the most, which at times clashed with his father's own ideals and attitudes.

And that my dear friends, are the Presley-Chevalier children. What do you think? I personally am enamored with all of them, lovely little ones.

I'm very happy to get this out, so now people will have context when I post later installments of the Baby Love au!! I had so much fun making all their little profiles and backstories, I'm so excited to explore them more!

[notadsmpblog]

I think this will be my last ever post about this situation on this account unless something brand new and wonderous (/s) happens, but stop acting like people should have seen the signs all along lmao?

Analyze his music and how he left warnings and hints all you want, but don't act like this was something that everyone should have seen coming. No offence but encouraging people to take every single song ever made at face value on the off-chance that the song is actually meant to be taken at face value is crazy. Ntm you guys are reading into things way more than necessary (E-girl Trilogy was just Wilbur making songs and capitalizing off of jokes about simps and Delphine fans, face it)

Also, it feels kind of off-putting because it does feel in the same territory as victim-blaming? I'm saying this as an emotional abuse victim myself btw. Telling people that it was there all along and that if they just tried hard enough they would know... You're seriously setting people up for failure in the future when it comes to these things

I'm not saying that Wilbur's fanbase is a victim of him, that's going a step too far I'd imagine. It's just that doing this sort of thing encourages other fans (who, again face it, are mostly comprised of impressionable teens) to either gain trust issues or be blindly trustful of others because CLEARLY they know better now and can see problems from a mile away

This is a long stupid post I know, but I'm tired of seeing dumbass posts on every single damn social media app about how Your New Boyfriend is "Wilbur's true self and he was telling us all along and we're dumb for not getting it."

[sylvienerevarine]

A delightful new tag game from @dirty-bosmer!!! You know I can't resist the urge to share quotes from A Respectable Lady's Guide to Skyrim.

I shall tag: @kookaburra1701, @blossom-adventures, @druidx, and @hannahcbrown

The rules are to share:

A line from your fic that makes you laugh

I have come up with so many terrible, terrible puns. Here's my favorite.

"We’re off to Labyrinthian to find the Staff of Magnus, as per the Synod fellow’s instructions.” “That ought to be pretty hard,” said Sophrine. “I mean, you know what they say.” Olaf sighed, clearly aware a joke was on its way. “What’s that?” “You just can’t get the staff these days.”

A line from your fic that makes you sad

She felt a large, warm hand cup her chin, tilting her face up. Roggi lowered his head to kiss her briefly, almost reverently, for what she knew was the last time. “Hail, Dragonborn,” he said softly.

Sometimes you just have to dump your boyfriend in order to save his life. Maybe.

A line from your fic you're proud of

“I’m a dragon!” Sophrine cried. “You called me a miracle and vowed to serve me, even when you knew all along I have a dragon’s soul!"

Delphine, please get your act together and be cool about dragons for once.

A line from your fic you think could have been better

Any of the ones where I'm trying to get the characters to a second location. Why is it so hard to write about the squad heading from the kitchen to the living room.

A line from your fic that makes you want to punch a character

“You know nothing about me, or the reasons for my actions,” Ulfric said icily. “I am a trueborn son of Skyrim who has dedicated my life to our independence. You are a self-righteous mongrel foreigner.”

Am I character-assassinating Ulfric? That's a matter for the courts.

A line from your fic that makes you go 'aww'

The Volkihar family had never deserved Serana. Maybe the Aulettes could.

Serana is my sister and my babygirl and Sophrine has adopted her.

A line from your fic that's full of symbolism

But hearing Esbern say it out loud was like listening to her own death sentence being pronounced. Again.

One theme that surfaces occasionally in ARLGS is that Sophrine feels like she never really escaped her death sentence at Helgen; it just keeps popping back up in the form of Fate and Destiny.

A line from your fic that contains an Easter egg

"We’ve even got an arena in New Sheoth these days. Ben set it up–you remember your cousin Benethir?”

Adoring Fan from Oblivion shoutouts? In my Skyrim fic? It's more likely than you think!

A line from your fic that's shocking

By the time they reached the outskirts of the city, Sophrine had realized two things: one, that she desperately needed to gather ingredients for the family-planning potion her mother had taught her, and two, that a girl could really get used to being taken up against a tree several times a day.

Sophrine, you are such a ho sometimes and we love you for it.

A line from your fic you want to talk about more

“Too bad!” she boomed, her voice filling the cavern. “Do you think I wanted Saint Nerevar’s memories instead of my own? Do you think your aunt planned to be in the same prison cell as the emperor’s escape route? People like us don’t choose what makes us different. We simply do what has to be done.”

Nana Sylvie's appearance in ARLGS was one of my all-time favorite things to write and I think we should all be talking about it more, frankly.

[eliotquillon]

snippet of the witherward coffee shop AU i'm working on:

Lev, meanwhile, is clearly delighted by the prospect of getting to discuss a love life that isn’t his own; Sybella is too married to work–her law degree, that is, not her shifts at the shop–for her to bother dating, and Ollivan’s own romantic prospects are strictly limited to one night stands, a holdover from his past life as one of Delphine’s suppliers. He’s kicked most of the criminal acts, but the mindset is still a work in process. “So are you looking to start dating again?” he asks Cassia, who responds to this far more warmly than she would if Ollivan asked her the same question.

Which is to say that instead of biting Lev’s head off, she just twists awkwardly in her seat and bites her lip. This is why Ollivan was so surprised about the boyfriend thing a few moments before: there is a reason why Cassia has never dated before, and it’s not because she isn’t pretty or because she has some secret terrible personality flaw. Ollivan might have lost most of his capacity for shame and humility years ago, but at her core Cassia is terribly, terminally shy, and anxious to boot. She puts on a brave enough face that it can be hard to tell from just looking at her, but Ollivan knows better. He’s not sure if being sent away to an all-girls boarding school for most of her life made it any worse, or if she was just always meant to be this way, but it’s who she is. A few years ago, when all of his friends from school wouldn’t shut up about how beautiful his little sister was, the knowledge that Cassia was probably never going to willingly go on a date with anybody had felt like a blessing to Ollivan. Now he can’t help but feel a little sorry for her. University has helped her come out of her shell a little, clearly, but not that much. “Um,” Cassia says now. “Maybe. I don’t know.” Even that non-answer is sort of bold, for her.

Lev lights up. “Well,” he says, in that voice he has that makes you want to listen to everything he has to say, “when you decide, let me know. I know someone who would be perfect for you.” “Really?” Cassia asks, sounding unsure. Lev nods enthusiastically. “Seriously,” he says. “I’m great at setting people up. Ask anyone. I mean,” he amends, “not your brother, you know how he is, and not Sybella, she’s too busy bashing her head in with a law book to let me set her up, but ask anyone else.” “We don’t know anyone else you know,” Ollivan points out. “You would if you came to any of the parties I invited you to,” Lev says guilelessly. “Promise me you’ll think about it, Cassia?”

Cassia, helpless to resist Lev’s charm, nods. “Yeah, alright,” she says, “I’ll let you know.”

When she excuses herself a few minutes later to go to the toilet, Ollivan rounds on Lev and points a spoon at him. “Let me see who you’re going to set her up with.” Lev scoffs. “That’s cheating,” he says. “You’ll go home and stalk him and then threaten him in your big scary gangster voice saying you’ll break his legs if he hurts your sister, not that he even knows who she is yet, and then Cassia will think it’s my fault when she finally tells me she’s ready to find love and I have to let her know that her future soulmate just got found in the Thames with concrete blocks tied around his feet.”

[cinnamonest]

//degrading terms/some sexist vibes, getting this out before it gets buried in drafts

Ok but Scara modern au would fall in love with an egirl. Not a camgirl, he's not ~that degenerate~ as a certain someone, but he would seethe and grind his teeth over how some dumb bitch gets millions of followers just for being cute on Instagram or whatever. Doesn't even take her clothes off and yet they STILL throw money at her. All she has to do is dress up like anime girls and show her tits and ass off and smile and pretend to be sweet and boom, popularity and money. The fact that some girl can get money so easily while guys like him have to get a real job is infuriating.

Especially if she does the delphine method and just gets SO close, teasing photos that come so close to being nsfw, but just walk that narrow line without crossing over. Cocktease. Dumb slut's probably making bank off of all the simps who follow her. Not him though, he just follows her bc he hates her. Which he thinks makes sense. Conceited, self centered, bitchy bratty spoiled little whore. He'd love to see her end up getting stalked or doxxed or something by one of her obsessive fans. Surely these pathetic bastards have to realize the sweetness is an act, she couldn't care less about any of them. And there's no way they don't realize that she's probably fucking a hundred guys they could never compete with, right?

He ends up watching the streaming she does. Again, only because he hates her so much and seethes watching her put on that fake high pitched voice and talk about how grateful she is for some loser that donated $500 at random. He would almost pity the bastard if it weren't so pathetic. It's only because she has half her tits spilling out that she's even getting views. She sucks at the game really. Couldn't imagine being one of these losers sitting here and watching her because they like her. He only does it just because he's entertained by the sad, pathetic display of simps. Nothing more.

Unlike Xiao and the camgirl, finding out that she lives so close to him isn't something he figures out by seeking it out, no. He's just out on the public subway when he completely freezes in place, spotting a very familiar face sitting a few feet away. No way. It's not possible. It takes him a moment of disbelief and he doesn't even realize he's staring until the girl shoots a glare and rudely, gruffly asks uh, can I help you?

What do you know, he was right. She *is* a bitch in real life. Predictable. He just snaps something about how he wasn't even looking at her, turns his head, mutters about what a self absorbed slut she must be to think she was worth looking at. Even dresses like a slut in real life, too. Gross.

It turns out she boards every day at a specific time, so he discovers. Gets on before him, but gets off before him too. He manages to watch her closely enough to learn her phone password. Listens to her obnoxious phone calls to her boyfriend. What kind of cuck is ok with his girlfriend making softcore porn? If that were him he'd never allow that. Makes his blood boil.

Maybe she really needs that. A boyfriend that isn't a spineless beta that wouldn't let such whorishness go unchecked. Really, he'd be doing all those guys that obsess over her a favor by removing the source of their addiction. And thus, one day he ends up getting off on her stop with her.

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Belle-W.L

“could I request a will imagine where the reader is mia in his new video? like she's his girlfriend and reacts to all of the things belle got him?”

“can you do a will x reader fic where the reader reacts to the belle delphine box lmao x”

Gif cred. @sdmngifs​

Pairing: WillNE X Reader

Word Count: 2.6k+

Pronouns: She/Her

__________________

Opening the door, Y/n's attention first went to the corner of the room. A giant pink bear sat there with two pink crates, a giant blown up donut, and a canvas with a pink-haired girl holding a gun. Glancing over to Will's desk across the room, her boyfriend sat there, not bothering to look back at her. "What is going on here?" Y/n made her way over to the empty seat next to will, a grin was spread across her face. She was a bit excited about whatever her boyfriend was planning. "That smile is will be gone soon," he hadn't made eye contact with his girlfriend yet. He focused on the camera, leaning in to readjust the lens. "Alright, here's the plan, I'm gonna show you all the stuff by the bear. But first you gotta know, all of it is from Belle Delphine." Y/n's mouth shaped in an 'o',  it made sense from the canvas leaning on Will's table. "I need you to close your eyes for the first surprise," her boyfriend stood up from his seat, making his way from behind Y/n. "Oh no, I'm scared already." Hesitantly, she raised her hands to her face. "This first surprise you shouldn't have to be scared about," Will replied. Y/n could hear Will moving around, the sound of his closet door opened before closing again. "So you're telling me I should be scared of some of Belle's gifts?" "Well... yes and no." "Wait, what does that mean, Will?" Y/n let out a giggle fueled with nervousness. "Alright, open your eyes." Taking her hands away from her face, Y/n took a second to let her eyes readjust before looking to her boyfriend. Will stood there with a stupid grin on his face as he wore a white ahegao hoodie. "Oh wait, that's actually really cool," A smile appeared on her face. "I think I might steal that from you for some Instagram pictures." "Really?" he raised a brow at Y/n's reaction. It was only the first gift, but he knew it would get worse. "Yeah, that with some fishnets and some platform boots, it'd be a look," She brushed her hair back out of her face, a grin still staying on her face. Will took a glance at the camera for a moment before walking off back to his closet. "Am I the only one you're showing this stuff to? Or some other friends?" Y/n turned, watching Will pull the hoodie off himself. "Yeah, I'm just having James, Alex, and George stop by to have them check it out too," as soon as the hoodie was off, Will made his way to the other belongings in the corner of the room. "Alright, here's the next gift." He had picked up a box, bringing it back over to the desk. Getting closer, he revealed the front of the box with a bit of art of Belle on the from. Belle had been making a "shush" motion as the art of her was drawn with her finger over her lips. "Is that Belle Delphine fanart?"Y/n asked as she admired the art. "I have no clue, what do you think is in it?" "Huh, probably more photos of her." "George said the same thing," Will grinned happily, his hand snaking down to open the box. "Great minds think alike." Will paused as Y/n spoke, only making his girlfriend let out a giggle, "Are you gonna keep opening it or not?" "I'm opening it, I'm opening it," he let out a sigh before flipping the top open. A dartboard with Morgz mum's face on it was shown. "That's so cool," Y/n grinned happily. "Are you gonna hang it up somewhere?" "Maybe, I have no clue where I'm gonna put it yet," Will shrugged before closing the box. He made his way back to the corner of gifts. "I'd just like to say Will hasn't let me into his bedroom for the past couple of days because of all the gifts," The h/c girl smiled before looking back at Will as he picked out a new gift. "That looks like a Belle Delphine shrine, doesn't it?" Will had approached with a different box that had the same art sprawled out on top of it. Taking a seat next to Y/n, he handed her the box before quickly snatching up his Go-Pro camera. Taking a glance at Will, Y/n slowly opened the box. As soon as they realized what was sitting in their lap, a giant grin spread across their face another time. A pink BB gun sat there with 'Belle Delphine' written across it. "Can Belle become my sugar mommy?" Y/n spoke as she picked up the gun. Will let out a laugh from his girlfriend's response. "I'm surprised how well you're taking this." "Well, I haven't seen anything too concerning." "Yet." "What?" After taking the BB gun back, Will had returned with something else. A pink machete. "My god, Belle is really preparing you for an apocalypse, isn't she?" "I literally have no clue what I'm going to do with this," Will shrugged, going back to find a safe place to secure the weapon. After the machete, Will had brought the portrait of Belle over to Y/n to give her a moment to admire it. Belle was painted holding a gun as she said 'Subscribe or die.' "Just wondering why you haven't drawn up a canvas like this yet," Will grinned cheekily. "You see, I was gonna say I liked the painting until you made that snarky little comment," Y/n shook her head, her smile disappearing. "But you know what? You want a canvas? I'll give you a canvas. Don't be surprised when one day you walk into your bedroom and you'll see a painting of me covering up your walls." her smile appeared from Will's mouth falling open. "And I'm gonna get one of your friends in so they get the video content before you do." "Alright, that's where you hurt me, Y/n," Will shook his head, walking off with the canvas. "Anyways, I think it's about time we open the crates." As soon as the crate was brought over to Y/n, she opened it. The crate had been filled with all different sorts of things. The first thing Will had pulled out was a pair of cat mittens. "I think these were made for you." "No love, those were made for you." Y/n pushed the mittens towards Will, only for him to put them on. "Looking good." Instead of continuing to go through the crate, Will had brought over the inflatable donut. He had ended up making Y/n wear it while pointing his go-pro camera in her face. "I'm scared," Y/n bit her lip. "Why am I sitting in the donut?" "There's no reason to be scared." Will let out a giggle of excitement mixed with nervousness. "Is Belle gonna pop out of the closet or something?" She looked behind her over to the row of closets in Will's room. Will let out another giggle. "No, no, no. Don't worry about that. But do you think you could smell it?" "What?" "Just smell the donut, Y/n." Keeping eye contact with her boyfriend, Y/n hesitantly leaned in towards the plastic, sniffing it. There was no scent besides the smell of plastic. "There's no smell Will." "Alright, there's another donut. This one smells like an actual donut," Will had brought a smaller donut over to Y/n. "And on the back of it is a YouTube URL." "Oh no... what happened?" Y/n's voice cracked as she moved to take the piece of plastic off of her, "I don't wanna wear this now." Will took a seat next to Y/n, letting out a laugh as he typed in the URL. "The URL leads to a video titled, 'Belle vs Donut.' And the channel is 'Willne and Belle forever'." "It should be Y/n and Belle forever," Y/n gave a mischievous wink at the camera while Will typed in the URL. Her boyfriend had taken a moment to stare into the camera just from hearing that. "Am I gonna lose my girlfriend to my sugar mommy?" "Hopefully." The video had started, revealing Belle had sprayed whipped cream on most of the donut before slipping into the donut from using a children's slide. After she was in the donut she had slapped her head against the donut before the video ended. A moment of silence followed after the video ended. Y/n was a bit speechless for a moment. "...Wow." "I know," Will chuckled with his usual grin reappearing on his face. "You commented 'pog'?" The h/c girl let out a giggle as she scrolled down to the comment section, "You're this channel's only subscriber. That's sad." Will couldn't help but let out some more laughter from Y/n. "Guys, go subscribe to Willne and Belle forever and try to get Belle to change the channel name to  'Y/n and Belle forever'." Will looked into his camera once more with the usual look of disappointment. As Will had gone back to bring the crate back, Y/n quickly scrolled down to the comment section, typing in 'Y/n + Belle forever.' The crate had been reopened, revealing the content inside for a second time. The first thing Will had pulled out was a photo of Belle with a note on the back of it. "Dear WillNE, I hope you enjoy your mystery box! Love from Belle Delphine." "That's sweet," Y/n smiled. "I'm just so confused how you aren't upset," Will placed the photo back down before turning to Y/n. "Oh, the only thing I'm upset about is that she chose to be your sugar mommy over mine." Will had shown off a pink Xbox controller with Belle's name engraved on it. Y/n had found it cool and was a bit jealous she didn't have her own. After the Xbox controller, Will brought out Belle's pet named 'Fluffy.' He was a small crocodile with a ribbon tied around his neck. "Omg, I love him. Could I keep him?" Y/n smiled, taking the crocodile out of Will's hands. "Yeah, I thought he was a real animal when I first opened the crate." Y/n let out a laugh at her boyfriend before they continued on with the rest of the items. Will had brought out a Dive blaster from OverWatch to show off, Y/n really didn't care much for it. Up next, Will had brought out a pair of pink darts with the Britain flag on them. SO the couple had decided to walk over to the dartboard to play a short game. Will had brought out a mug with custom art on it. The art had shown Belle watching WillNE on it, meanwhile a few of Will's friends' videos had been put on the sidebar of recommended videos. "It says Will and Belle forever... wow," Y/n gave a look to the camera before handing the mug back to her boyfriend. Will brought out a polaroid of Belle that had a button connected to it. The button had said, 'send nudes.' "I'm starting to get concerned she's actually trying to steal you from me," Y/n muttered quietly as she stared at the polaroid. Will did feel a bit bad, he knew he had to spoil Y/n some way for her later on to make up for the video. Y/n looked back at the camera before blurting out, "Belle I love you, please date me instead of my boyfriend." Will had swapped out the first crate for another one, this new one being called 'the fanny crate.' He had first pulled out a bowl of cereal, handing it to Y/n. "Oh, that's cute. It says sub to WillNE," Y/n smiled at the bowl. "It might not be what you think it is." "Nevermind." She quickly placed the bowl down, refusing to take a second glance at it. The brunette boy had pulled out a purple teddy bear that had no face, merely a giant black hole for a mouth and prickly white teeth. "Oh, I love him too. Could I also keep him?" The h/c girl grinned, holding the bear close. "Take him, he's scary." Will shook his head, going back into the crate to pull something new out. A syringe of pink glitter appeared in his hands. As soon as Y/n saw it, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "Mikey, could you please edit James in when he says 'Inject this into my fucking veins'?" Y/n let out a giggle as she looked over at the camera. "Don't listen to her Mikey!" "Joke's on you, Mikey likes me." Will had next pulled out a pink condom that had been titled 'Gamer girl condom.' Of course, Will had ended up asking the dumbest question yet. "Could we use it?" "She could've poked holes in it," Y/n shook her head. "You're insane." Will had ended up bringing out a new gift that just happened to make Y/n a bit jealous. A brand new seventh-generation Ipad. The couple had found themselves talking over if Belle had possibly uploaded anything to it. After putting the Ipad away once again, Will had told Y/n to close her eyes once again. "Will, you keep scaring me," Y/n sighed, her face covered with her hands. "Well none of this stuff has been that terrible yet, has it?" "You said 'yet' earlier." "That's because I thought you were gonna be much more upset over the stuff in the crates!" After a moment of shuffling footsteps and silence, Wil spoke up once again, "Reach your hand out." "Oh no," Y/n muttered before hesitantly moving her hand out. It took a few seconds before she felt anything. But as soon as her hand came in contact with something, she flinched. Opening her eyes, Y/n had realized what her hand came in contact with. "She got you a fucking chainsaw?" At this point, Will was grinning like a child who had been spoiled on Christmas. "Gotta protect myself." "From what? Wood?" Y/n raised a brow, a smug smile on her face as she watched Will walk off with his new machine. Soon enough, Will had come back with one last item. A small pink box. Getting into arms reach of Y/n, he quickly handed the box to her, not bothering to take a seat before doing it. Y/n let out a gasp at the sight of the box, could Belle have tried to propose to Will? "I swear if she proposed to you with an engagement ring I'm breaking up with you," shaking her head, Y/n opened the box. A small necklace fell out with a small red crystal connected to it. After taking a moment to admire it, Y/n spoke up. "Will... what is this?" "Blood." "What the fuck?" As quickly as the necklace had been brought out, it had been put away. And just like that, the filming had come to an end. Y/n had stuck around to help Will clean everything up for Alex to show up. By the time they had finished, they had a bit of time before Alex would show up, leaving the couple free time together. "Hey Y/n," Will followed Y/n downstairs. They had planned to watch a bit of TV and cuddle for a bit. "Yes?" "you know I love you, right?" "Of course," Y/n stopped walking, turning to face her boyfriend. "I love you, you know that, right?' "Yeah." "Good," the h/c girl took a seat on the couch, scooting over to give Will room. "You're not mad about Belle?" "Not at all, I get stuff like this happens. Also, Belle is Belle, what do you expect?" She moved over, cuddling up to Will's chest as he moved to hold her close. "God, you're amazing." "I know."

Taglist: @anyasthoughts @multifandom-but @springholland @blondiee-seaveyy @caswinchester2000 @glossystyless 

[ucflibrary]

Pride Month has arrived!

While every day is a time to be proud of your identity and orientation, June is that extra special time for boldly celebrating with and for the LGBTQIA+ community (yes, there are more than lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender folx in the queer community). June was chosen to honor the Stonewall Riots which happened in 1969. Like other celebratory months, LGBT Pride Month started as a weeklong series of events and expanded into a full month of festivities.

2021 is also the 5th anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando where 49 members of our community were murdered on June 12, 2016. On the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library there will be display cases with items from the University Archives relating to Pulse memorials as well as a display wall honoring the lives lost. Both of these library memorials were created in partnership with UCF LGBTQ Services. UCF will also be hosting several events in June to help the community remember, grieve and grow stronger. Full listing of events is available on the Pulse Remembrance event calendar.

Additional Pulse memorial events will be hosted by the onePULSE Foundation.  An memorial archival collection from the first anniversary of the shooting can be found as part of the Resilience: Remembering Pulse in the STARS Citizen Curator collection.

In honor of Pride Month, UCF Library faculty and staff suggested books from the UCF collection that represent a wide array of queer authors and characters. Click on the read more link below to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links. There is also an extensive physical display on the main floor of the John C. Hitt Library near the Research & Information Desk.

All Adults Here by Emma Straub Emma Straub's unique alchemy of wisdom, humor, and insight come together in a deeply satisfying story about adult siblings, aging parents, high school boyfriends, middle school mean girls, the lifelong effects of birth order, and all the other things that follow us into adulthood, whether we like them to or not. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks & Kevin Carr O'Leary A gripping and triumphant tale of human compassion, is the true story of Ruth Coker Burks, a young single mother in Hot Springs, Arkansas, who finds herself driven to the forefront of the AIDS crisis, and becoming a pivotal activist in America’s fight against AIDS. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 And the Band Played On: politics, people and the AIDS epidemic by Randy Shilts An international bestseller, a nominee for the National Book Critics Circle Award, and made into a critically acclaimed movie, Shilts' expose revealed why AIDS was allowed to spread unchecked during the early 80's while the most trusted institutions ignored or denied the threat. One of the few true modern classics, it changed and framed how AIDS was discussed in the following years. Suggested by Becky Hammond, Special Collections & University Archives

 Big Gay Adventures in Education: supporting LGBT+ visibility and inclusion in schools edited by Daniel Tomlinson-Gray A collection of true stories by 'out' teachers, and students of 'out' teachers, all about their experiences in schools. The book aims to empower LGBT+ teachers to be the role models they needed when they were in school and help all teachers and school leaders to promote LGBT+ visibility and inclusion. Each story is accompanied by an editor’s note reflecting on the contributor’s experience and the practical implications for schools and teachers in supporting LGBT+ young people and ensuring they feel safe and included in their school communities. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 Call Me By Your Name by André Aciman The sudden and powerful attraction between a teenage boy and a summer guest at his parents' house on the Italian Riviera has a profound and lasting influence that will mark them both for a lifetime. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Fun Home: a family tragicomic by Alison Bechdel Meet Alison's father, a historic preservation expert and obsessive restorer of the family's Victorian house, a third-generation funeral home director, a high school English teacher, an icily distant parent, and a closeted homosexual who, as it turns out, is involved with male students and a family babysitter. Through narrative that is alternately heartbreaking and fiercely funny, we are drawn into a daughter's complex yearning for her father. And yet, apart from assigned stints dusting caskets at the family-owned 'fun home, ' as Alison and her brothers call it, the relationship achieves its most intimate expression through the shared code of books. When Alison comes out as homosexual herself in late adolescence, the denouement is swift, graphic, and redemptive. Suggested by Michael Furlong, UCF Connect Libraries

 Gender Queer: a memoir by Maia Kobabe; colors by Phoebe Kobabe In 2014, Maia Kobabe, who uses e/em/eir pronouns, thought that a comic of reading statistics would be the last autobiographical comic e would ever write. At the time, it was the only thing e felt comfortable with strangers knowing about em. Maia's intensely cathartic autobiography charts eir journey of self-identity, which includes the mortification and confusion of adolescent crushes, grappling with how to come out to family and society, bonding with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, and facing the trauma and fundamental violation of pap smears. Started as a way to explain to eir family what it means to be nonbinary and asexual, this is more than a personal story: it is a useful and touching guide on gender identity--what it means and how to think about it--for advocates, friends, and humans everywhere. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Heaven's Coast: a memoir by Mark Doty The harmonious partnership of two gay men is shattered when they learn that one has tested positive for the HIV virus. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Hurricane Child by Kheryn Callender Born on Water Island in the Virgin Islands during a hurricane, which is considered bad luck, twelve-year-old Caroline falls in love with another girl--and together they set out in a hurricane to find Caroline's missing mother. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

 Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo Seventeen-year-old Lily Hu can't remember exactly when the question took root, but the answer was in full bloom the moment she and Kathleen Miller walked under the flashing neon sign of a lesbian bar called the Telegraph Club. America in 1954 is not a safe place for two girls to fall in love, especially not in Chinatown. Red-Scare paranoia threatens everyone, including Chinese Americans like Lily. With deportation looming over her father--despite his hard-won citizenship--Lily and Kath risk everything to let their love see the light of day. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki & Rosemary Valero-O’Connell All Freddy Riley wants is for Laura Dean to stop breaking up with her. The day they got together was the best one of Freddy's life, but nothing's made sense since. Laura Dean is popular, funny, and SO CUTE ... but she can be really thoughtless, even mean. Their on-again, off-again relationship has Freddy's head spinning - and Freddy's friends can't understand why she keeps going back. When Freddy consults the services of a local mystic, the mysterious Seek-Her, she isn't thrilled with the advice she receives. But something's got to give: Freddy's heart is breaking in slow motion, and she may be about to lose her very best friend as well as her last shred of self-respect. Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O'Connell bring to life a sweet and spirited tale of young love that asks us to consider what happens when we ditch the toxic relationships we crave to embrace the heathy ones we need. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 LGBT Health: meeting the needs of gender and sexual minorities edited by K. Bryant Smalley, Jacob C. Warren, K. Nikki Barefoot A first-of-its-kind, comprehensive view of mental, medical, and public health conditions within the LGBT community. This book examines the health outcomes and risk factors that gender and sexual minority groups face while simultaneously providing evidence-based clinical recommendations and resources for meeting their health needs. Drawing from leading scholars and practitioners of LGBT health, this holistic, centralized text synthesizes epidemiologic, medical, psychological, sociological, and public health research related to the origins of, current state of, and ways to improve LGBT health. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Lived Experience: reflections on LGBTQ life by Delphine Diallo  A beautiful series of full-color portraits of LGBTQ people over the age of fifty, accompanied by interviews. Suggested by Jacqui Johnson, Cataloging

 Love is for Losers by Wibke Bruggemann When Phoebe's mother ditches her to work as a doctor for an international human rights organization, she is stuck living with her mom's best friend, Kate, and helping out at Kate's thrift shop. There she meet Emma. Phoebe tries to shield her head and her heart from experiencing love-- after all, love is for losers, right? Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Man Into Woman: an authentic record of a change of sex edited by Niels Hoyer This riveting account of the transformation of the Danish painter Einar Wegener into Lili Elbe is a remarkable journey from man to woman. Einar Wegener was a leading artist in late 1920's Paris. One day his wife Grete asked him to dress as a woman to model for a portrait. It was a shattering event which began a struggle between his public male persona and emergent female self, Lili. Einar was forced into living a double life; enjoying a secret hedonist life as Lili, with Grete and a few trusted friends, whilst suffering in public as Einar, driven to despair and almost to suicide. Doctors, unable to understand his condition, dismissed him as hysterical. Lili eventually forced Einar to face the truth of his being - he was, in fact, a woman. This bizarre situation took an extraordinary turn when it was discovered that his body contained primitive female sex organs. There followed a series of dangerous experimental operations and a confrontation with the conventions of the age until Lili was eventually liberated from Einar - a freedom that carried the ultimate price. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong This is a letter from a son to a mother who cannot read. Written when the speaker, Little Dog, is in his late twenties, the letter unearths a family's history that began before he was born -- a history whose epicenter is rooted in Vietnam -- and serves as a doorway into parts of his life his mother has never known, all of it leading to an unforgettable revelation. At once a witness to the fraught yet undeniable love between a single mother and her son, it is also a brutally honest exploration of race, class, and masculinity. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 Queer Objects edited by Chris Brickell & Judith Collard Queer lives give rise to a vast array of objects: the things we fill our houses with, the gifts we share with our friends, the commodities we consume at work and at play, the clothes and accessories we wear, various reminders of state power, as well as the analogue and digital technologies we use to communicate with one another. But what makes an object queer? 63 chapters consider this question in relation to lesbian, gay and transgender communities across time, cultures and space. In this unique international collaboration, well-known and newer writers traverse world history to write about items ranging from ancient Egyptian tomb paintings and Roman artefacts to political placards, snapshots, sex toys and the smartphone. Suggested by Megan Haught, Student Learning & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Real Life by Brandon Taylor A novel of rare emotional power that excavates the social intricacies of a late-summer weekend -- and a lifetime of buried pain. Almost everything about Wallace, an introverted African-American transplant from Alabama, is at odds with the lakeside Midwestern university town where he is working toward a biochem degree. For reasons of self-preservation, Wallace has enforced a wary distance even within his own circle of friends -- some dating each other, some dating women, some feigning straightness. But a series of confrontations with colleagues, and an unexpected encounter with a young straight man, conspire to fracture his defenses, while revealing hidden currents of resentment and desire that threaten the equilibrium of their community. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Riley Can’t Stop Crying by Stephanie Boulay While his sister tries everything to help, a young boy isn't sure why he can't stop crying in this transitional picture book. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Supporting Success for LGBTQ+ Students: tools for inclusive campus practice by Cindy Ann Kilgo This book aims to serve as a one-stop resource for faculty and staff in higher education settings who are seeking to enhance their campus climate and systems of support for LGBTQ+ student success. Included are theoretical frameworks and conceptual models that can be used in practice. Suggested by Terrie Sypolt, Research & Information Services

 The City and the Pillar: a novel by Gore Vidal Jim, a handsome, all-American athlete, has always been shy around girls. But when he and his best friend, Bob, partake in “awful kid stuff,” the experience forms Jim’s ideal of spiritual completion. Defying his parents’ expectations, Jim strikes out on his own, hoping to find Bob and rekindle their amorous friendship. Along the way he struggles with what he feels is his unique bond with Bob and with his persistent attraction to other men. Upon finally encountering Bob years later, the force of his hopes for a life together leads to a devastating climax. The first novel of its kind to appear on the American literary landscape, this remains a forthright and uncompromising portrayal of sexual relationships between men. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 The Invisible Orientation: an introduction to asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people's experiences in context as they move through a sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones. Suggested by Dawn Tripp, Research & Information Services

 The New Testament by Jericho Brown The world of Jericho Brown's second book, disease runs through the body, violence runs through the neighborhood, memories run through the mind, trauma runs through generations. Almost eerily quiet in even the bluntest of poems, Brown gives us the ache of a throat that has yet to say the hardest thing-and the truth is coming on fast. Suggested by Claudia Davidson, Downtown Library

 The Prophets by Robert Jones With a lyricism reminiscent of Toni Morrison, Robert Jones, Jr., fiercely summons the voices of slaver and enslaved alike, from Isaiah and Samuel to the calculating slave master to the long line of women that surround them, women who have carried the soul of the plantation on their shoulders. As tensions build and the weight of centuries—of ancestors and future generations to come—culminates in a climactic reckoning, masterfully reveals the pain and suffering of inheritance, but is also shot through with hope, beauty, and truth, portraying the enormous, heroic power of love. Suggested by Rachel Mulvihill, Downtown Library

 The Ship We Built by Lexie Bean A fifth-grader whose best friends walked away, whose mother is detached, and whose father does unspeakable things, copes with the help of friend Sofie and anonymous letters tied to balloons and released. Includes a list of resources related to abuse, gender, sexuality, and more. Suggested by Pam Jaggernauth, Curriculum Materials Center

 Tinderbox: the untold story of the Up Stairs Lounge fire and the rise of gay liberation by Robert W. Fieseler Buried for decades, the Up Stairs Lounge tragedy has only recently emerged as a catalyzing event of the gay liberation movement. In revelatory detail, Robert W. Fieseler chronicles the tragic event that claimed the lives of thirty-one men and one woman on June 24, 1973, at a New Orleans bar, the largest mass murder of gays until 2016. Relying on unprecedented access to survivors and archives, Fieseler creates an indelible portrait of a closeted, blue- collar gay world that flourished before an arsonist ignited an inferno that destroyed an entire community. The aftermath was no less traumatic--families ashamed to claim loved ones, the Catholic Church refusing proper burial rights, the city impervious to the survivors' needs--revealing a world of toxic prejudice that thrived well past Stonewall. Yet the impassioned activism that followed proved essential to the emergence of a fledgling gay movement. Fieseler restores honor to a forgotten generation of civil-rights martyrs. Suggested by Andy Todd, UCF Connect Libraries

 Transgender: a reference handbook by Aaron Devor and Ardel Haefele-Thomas This book provides a crucial resource for readers who are investigating trans issues. It takes a diverse and historic approach, focusing on more than one idea or one experience of trans identity or trans history. The book takes contemporary as well as historic aspects into consideration. It looks at ancient indigenous cultures that honored third, fourth, and fifth gender identities as well as more contemporary ideas of what "transgender" means. Notably, it focuses not only on Western medical ideas of gender affirmation but on cultural diversity surrounding the topic. This book will primarily serve as a reference guide and jumping off point for further research for those seeking information about what it means to be transgender. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Research & Information Services

 Transnational LGBT Activism: working for sexual rights worldwide by Ryan R. Thoreson Thoreson argues that the idea of LGBT human rights is not predetermined but instead is defined by international activists who establish what and who qualifies for protection. He shows how International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (IGLHRC) formed and evolved, who is engaged in this work, how they conceptualize LGBT human rights, and how they have institutionalized their views at the United Nations and elsewhere. After a full year of in-depth research in New York City and Cape Town, South Africa, Thoreson is able to reconstruct IGLHRC’s early campaigns and highlight decisive shifts in the organization’s work from its founding to the present day. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey Esther is a stowaway. She's hidden herself away in the Librarian's book wagon in an attempt to escape the marriage her father has arranged for her--a marriage to the man who was previously engaged to her best friend. Her best friend who she was in love with. Her best friend who was just executed for possession of resistance propaganda. The future American Southwest is full of bandits, fascists, and queer librarian spies on horseback trying to do the right thing. Suggested by Sara Duff, Acquisitions & Collections

 Walt Whitman's Songs of Male Intimacy and Love: "Live oak, with moss" and "Calamus" edited by Betsy Erkkila This volume includes Whitman's handwritten manuscript version of the twelve "Live oak, with moss" poems along side with a print transcription of these poems on the opposite page, followed by a facsimile of the original version of the "Calamus" poems published in the 1860-61 edition of Leaves of grass, and a reprint of the final version of the "Calamus" poems in the 1881 edition of Leaves of grass. Suggested by Rebecca Hawk, Circulation

[theparanormalperiodical]

31 Celebrity Ghost Stories You NEED To Read On Halloween Night (Or Any Time Of The Year, Screw The System)

*Puts on old professor glasses*

For generations we have been in awe of the celebrity.

*strokes beard*

For generations we have trodden their paths, followed their scents, and watched with wandering eyes exactly what they do - and all in the name of escapism.

Since the conception of humankind we have sought to understand what makes the rich and famous both rich and famous. Our philosophers decode mannerisms, our magazine editors calculate their every mistake, and the rest of us simply gaze up at the stars wondering how, why, and what we share in common with the glorified among us.

But you see-

*walks across the Ted Talk stage*

-they are just like us.

They make mistakes, they compare themselves to others, and yes, they even suck in their stomachs when trying on their new TopShop crop top and then shove it in the back of their sock drawer convinced their lower belly will always have too fat.

But even more than that, they have experiences with the paranormal.

*pulls up a chair and sits on it backwards cause for some reason people think it looks actually idk how people think it looks but whatever back to the imagery*

And so, on this Halloween night, we celebrate what brings us all together - no matter how much cash nor clout one has.

Shall we?

Miley Cyrus

During her 2009 Europe tour, Cyrus stayed in a flat in London - a flat that she claims was haunted.

"It was seriously so terrifying. It used to be an old bakery and they turned it into an apartment building, and I was having really crazy dreams and really scary things, and one night my little sister–it sounds crazy to tell you–but she was standing in the shower and all of a sudden I hear her scream.

I run in there and the water had somehow flipped to hot but it was still...It wasn’t like the water had just changed, the knob had turned but she hadn’t turned it and it was burning her.”

In the same bathroom Cyrus was convinced she saw a little boy sitting on the sink whilst she was showering. A series of other unexplained events took place until they delved into the family history of the bakery: it was passed down for generations from father to son. Cyrus believed she saw the last son to be left the bakery.

Cher

Turns out Cher doesn’t just believe in life after love but life after death, too.

The music legend herself is convinced that her late husband, Sonny, who died in 1998 is still making his presence known to her.

She claims his spirit has a habit of turning lights on to remind her he is there and often does this to her chandelier - even when there is no power.

“I love ghosts, I prefer ghosts to some people.”

Anna Nicole Smith

This late Playboy bunny was known for her bombshell sex appeal and scandalous career - but what about her forays into the supernatural?

"A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. It was, like, a spirit and it—woo! [miming a ghost flying from her bedsheets]—went up!

I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, 'Well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex so I have no problem.'"

When the interviewer asked her whether it was merely a dream Smith replied that it was happening every single night.

Kesha

Just like Smith, Kesha’s own experience with the paranormal is rather more sexual.

In her own words she went to the “bone zone” with a ghost.

"I don't know his name. He just started caressing me. It was a sexy time, it wasn't, like, sex."

Emma Stone

Back in 2014 Stone revealed on a late night talk show that the spirit of her grandfather often leaves quarters for her to find.

In fact, she claimed her family has a history of the small change - and its legacy clearly goes beyond the grave.

La Toya Jackson

Michael Jackson’s death is one of the most striking moments in modern history - but it turns out the King of Pop might also be the King of the Paranormal.

La Toya often claims she feels strong presences in the Jacksons’ childhood home and frequently shares about the supernatural activity coming from MJ’s old room. Many visitors, staff members, and family members have heard tap dancing coming from the room, even when they didn’t know who it used to belong to.

It was in this room that Michael would tap dance for two hours every sunday.

Susan Boyle

Boyle often recounts that she lost several members of her closest family within the span of a few short years and felt abandoned by her family. But in a 2011 interview she claimed she sees her mother’s spirit around her house, believing it to be a reminder from beyond the grave that she is not alone.

Megan Fox

"I was just in Mexico at my hotel and it was a bedroom, living room, bedroom...I had pre-ordered breakfast for 7:30, and at 7 a.m. I hear them come in with the table, I hear them pouring the coffee…

30 minutes later, at 7:30 I went in there, no table, no coffee, no food, no nothing, no one there. Door bell rings, I open the door, it's room service with my food...Brandy the nanny comes out later and says, 'Why did room service come at 7 when we told them to come at 7:30?' So you can't tell me I'm crazy, because two people heard it."

Ariana Grande

This paranormal enthusiast was visiting one of the gates of hell - Stull Cemetery - when she felt a sudden surge of negative energy around her. Flies suddenly appeared in the car and she smelt a strong odour of sulphur.

Both are symptoms of dark, demonic energy.

As they drove off she ‘apologised’ to the spirits for disturbing the peace and took a couple of pictures of the area before they left. She saw clear demonic faces in the image. When she tried to send it to her manager as proof of the strange goings on, the picture couldn’t be sent.

Why?

Because it was 666 megabytes.

Joan Rivers

This comedian’s old Manhattan apartment might be worth $28 million but it's far more famous for the supernatural entities within its walls than its price tag.

In one iconic episode of Celebrity Ghost Stories Rivers claims she even brought in a voodoo priestess to help a former resident, ‘Mr Spencer’, pass on.

Marilyn Manson

Just like Rivers, Marilyn Manson told his own paranormal experience on CGS. But his story had less spirits and more, you know, Satan.

Pressured by his peers into reading demonic incantations in a supposedly haunted basement, Manson claims he then heard demonic whispers around him asking if he believed in Satan.

Alyson Hannigan

Hannigan might be known for her Wiccan ways on the TV screen in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but her encounters with the paranormal aren’t just captured by our favourite streaming services.

Back in 2003 Hannigan claimed she lived in a haunted house - but she believes the spirit is friendly.  

“My friend saw him first one night. She said, 'I don't mean to alarm you, but I just saw a man follow us out of the house.' “

"Later that night I saw this silhouette of a man standing in the bathroom doorway. I was like, 'Sweetie, what are you doing?' I thought it was [fiance] Alexis [Denisof]. But then I looked and Alexis was asleep next to me.”

Nicolas Cage

Yes, the most memed actor in Hollywood has faced a series of paranormal experiences, too. In 2007 Cage purchased one of the most haunted houses in America in a bid to get inspired to write the latest horror novel.

He bought the LaLaurie Mansion in New Orleans, a house belonging to one of the 19th century’s most infamous serial killers.

Many believe the slaves tortured by Delphine LaLaurie still haunt the mansion. Perhaps Cage heard the wails and moans of her victims, or maybe he felt the demonic presence rumoured to have taken part in a murder of a tenant in 1894?

Demi Lovato

Lovato often makes mention of her beliefs in the paranormal - especially when it comes to her haunted house in Texas. She claims a young girl named Emily haunts her home in the South, and has even mentioned that she was a childhood ‘friend’ when she was growing up.

But this tale has to be the most terrifying:

"One of my friends, Tucker, came over one time and he asked, 'So your house is haunted?' I said, 'Yeah, just watch. Something will happen. Something always happens.' We started to watch a movie when all of a sudden a laptop in my kitchen started to play a movie also. It was a black screen before, so it was a question of who turned it on and hit play.

And after that Tucker texted a friend saying, 'I think this house is haunted, a movie just turned on by itself,' and there was a 'glitch' in his phone that kept texting him back the word 'definitely' over and over again. That happened about 30 times."

Peter Jackson

Jackson might be known for putting mystical and magical creatures on the big screen, but he’s seen similar things in real life, too.

"One night I woke up and there was a figure in the room. She was really scary—her face was like a silent scream. She glided across the room and disappeared into the wall." He told Fran in the morning and she said, "'Was it the woman with a screaming face?’ We had never spoken about it. 

She had seen the same ghost two years earlier. So I do believe in some energy, a spirit or a soul..."

Kendrick Lamar

From one famous rapper to another:

Lamar told Home Grown Radio that he had a dream about Tupac Shakur - a dream he believed conveyed a message from beyond. In the dream Tupac told him “Keep doing what you doing, don’t let my music die.”

Keanu Reeves

He’s one of the internet’s favourite celebrities - but what isn’t so famous about this Matrix star is his paranormal experience from when he was living in NYC.

"I'm probably like six, seven years old, we'd come from Australia. Renata, [our] nanny, in the bedroom, my sister is asleep, she's sitting over there, I'm hanging out. There was a doorway and all of a sudden this jacket comes waving through the doorway, this empty jacket — there's no body, there's no legs, it's just there. And then it disappears..."

The nanny saw the exact same thing.

Adele

Ghost nuns are not only on-trend but also terrify-ing. Adele can testify to that. In 2012 the singer moved into a plush Sussex mansion which used to be a convent.

A couple creepy noises later and she hired around-the-clock security to protect her against the paranormal activity. Who knows what she might’ve seen in her new $6 million home?

Matthew McConaughey

McConaughey claims his Hollywood mansion was haunted by an unhappy female spirit by the name of Madame Blu.

"I was not even under the influence and she was there. She wasn't that happy, it didn't seem like she was going to be much fun to hang around or have in my house, so I went ahead and stood my ground. I opened the door and said 'You can move around all you want but I'm not going anywhere.'"

"For weeks everyone that came to the house said the same thing: 'There's someone down in that hall, there's somebody down in that hall.'"

Ryan Gosling

Most of the celebs that made this list whip out their charming ‘lil spooky story to pique interest in their latest career venture. Gosling’s story, however, is actually pretty f*cking scary.

One day, in his childhood home, he saw a ghost of a young boy.

"He just sat. And I knew from a very young age that he was a ghost, too. He scared me. I told my mother, but she couldn't see him. Nobody could. And I learned to live with that. I had to…

Then, a few years later, [my mother] thought she saw him, then almost right away my cousin saw him, and then my uncle. And we were outta there in fairly short order."

Laura Linney

Linney is one of Hollywood’s most cherished actresses - and even on the stage she has witnessed something from the other side.

She became a believer in the paranormal after working in the Belasco Theater on Broadway.

"I had forgotten this, and I was doing a play with Jane Alexander, and I turned to Jane Alexander, and I looked up to the upper balcony—there are two balconies there—and the upper balcony you can only get in from the outside, and those doors were locked; and I looked up, and there was a woman standing in the front row looking over with a blue dress and blonde hair.

I just thought, 'Well, hello!' I looked back at Jane, and I looked back up, and she was gone. I went to the house manager and I said, 'Joe, I think I saw a ghost.' And he went, 'male or female?' I said, 'female.' And he went, 'blue dress, blonde hair?'"

Megan Mullally

Another famous ghost that haunts a famous face features on this list. But this time the paranormal activity described by Mullally is certainly the most tragic.

She claims she lived in a house haunted by the spirit of Nicole Brown Simpson who was murdered in 1994. She believes that only when her husband watched the American Crime Story series about her death did the strange occurrences (most of which were odd and unexplained sounds) settle.

Kristen Stewart

Only last year our very own Bella Swan opened up not just about her own experiences with ghosts, but her own spiritual connection with other people.

“If I’m in a weird, small town, making a movie, and I’m in a strange apartment, I will literally be like, ‘No, please, I cannot deal. Anyone else, but it cannot be me.’ Who knows what ghosts are, but there is an energy that I’m really sensitive to. Not just with ghosts, but with people. People stain rooms all the time.”

Carrie Fisher

Carrie Fisher lived an extraordinary life. She was one of the few a-listers to openly discuss her struggles with mental health and drug use before it became so accepted in mainstream society. Unfortunately, these topics would haunt her in a rather more supernatural manner, too.

Following the overdose of a friend sleeping next to her in her mansion, Fisher claimed she would often feel their presence around her.

"Lights would go on and off, and I had this toy machine, that when you touched it would say, 'F*ck you! Eat sh*t! You’re an asshole!' And it would go off in the night, by itself, in my closet.”

She later hired an exorcist to cleanse the house of the spirit.

Halle Berry

Whilst filming Introducing Dorothy Dandridge, Berry would experience intense paranormal activity she believed was down to her dress.

A dress formerly owned by the woman titling the film.

"I'd come home and the housekeeper would say she'd heard my vanity chair moving upstairs in the bathroom. When the film was over, I desperately wanted to keep her dress, but it had to go. And then everything was fine."

Lady Gaga

Just like Kendrick Lamar, Lady Gaga has had her own dealings with the spirit of an icon. But instead of rap legend Tupac, she got the late fashion designer Alexander McQueen.

"Right after he died, I wrote 'Born This Way.' I think he's up in heaven with fashion strings in his hands, marionetting away, planning this whole thing…

I didn't even write the f*king song. He did!"

Melissa McCarthy

Comedian Melissa McCarthy revealed in 2016 that she believed in ghosts - and gave insight into where her beliefs came from.

"I grew up on a farm and I didn't have any real friends,

I have a very strong belief that people are out there, because I was certainly talking to someone in those barns. Otherwise I'm just crazy. I really strongly believe in ghosts."

Jessica Alba

In 2008, Alba told US Weekly about her own encounter with the paranormal when she was a child.

“I felt this pressure and I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t talk, I couldn’t do anything

Something definitely took the covers off me and I definitely couldn’t get off the bed, and then, once I did, I screamed, ran to my parents’ room and I don’t think I spent many nights in that house ever again.”

Jenna Bush Hager

The White House already has a reputation for its paranormal activity (Abe Lincoln often makes a reappearance during times of crisis) and this former first daughter has evidence to support such a claim.

"I was asleep, there was a fireplace in my room and all of a sudden I heard 1920's music coming out. I could feel it. I freaked out and ran into my sister's room. She was like, 'Please go back to sleep, this is ridiculous.'"

Lucy Liu

This Charlie’s Angel - like so many of the people included in this article - claims she had sexual relations with something supernatural.

“I felt everything. I climaxed. And then he floated away.”

Bella Thorne

"I was lying in bed when I saw a shadowy, silvery figure of an old woman creeping across my room, then it slipped into my closet…

I panicked and ran out of bed and swung open my closet door only to see she was in there. But she was gone. I was sure I had seen her ghost! It was really freaky."

Do you believe ‘em?

If you liked this post be sure to like, reblog, and hit the follow button! 

Got your own paranormal experience to share? Head on over to the peoplesparanormal.com to read real ghost stories and submit your own!

Happy Halloween, lads.

[fandom-imagination-ss]

Imagine requested part 2

The first Request : Klaus confessing the supernatural too you and too convince you that you should run off too New Orleans with him

This Request: your First Date with Klaus and Him giving you a gift.

Author Note: there is some History in this imagine of New Orleans and A pretty Messed up Lady who lived in the 1830’s . So google her if interested. This Imagine Is much shorter then the last one (Only around 4 pages from Word vs the 9) but I hope you like it! @nick-1432 !!

Did I proof read?: semi.. and by that I mean I skimmed XD

Word count: 1802

Rating: 14 A.

*************************************************************************************

Elijah walked passed his’ brother room with his head stuck in a book he was half way passed Klaus door when he heard his brother groan as a piece of clothing threw across the room. Elijah stopped in his track seeing Klaus was in his closest and was tossing things out of his closet frustrated at his cloths. Elijah walked into the room at ease as he spoke, “problem brother?” Klaus stepped out of his closest noticing his brother as he spoke, “I’m searching for something too wear.” “what for?” Klaus stared at his brother as he spoke, “im having dinner with Y/N.” Elijah chuckled softly. In all his life he has never seen Klaus flustered from a women. Any women in the history of their lives. None of them ever had the hold that you had on Klaus. Seeing Klaus nervous was hilarious too Elijah especially since it’s you. You who Once referee too a particularly dangerous angry vampire as a man who didn’t get enough hugs in his life. How you captured the bloodlust Klaus heart and attention stuns Elijah at times. Especially seeing Klaus freaking out. “you have had dinner with Y/N hundreds of times.” “this time it’s different! I- I told her I loved her.” Elijah smiled walking over too his brother patting his shoulders, “congratulations brother- but you have nothing too worry about. You haven’t scared her away yet.. I don’t think you can.” “ha- Ha brother- I just want everything too be perfect.” “It will be.” On the other side of the house you were sitting in your room while Rebecca was fixing your hair, after overhearing everything She was excited too do her favourite activity with you. She loved playing dress up with you. Especially since you had Little to No experience with makeup and didn’t have the patience too learn the craft or Even do it often. Getting dressed. You wore a pail blue summer dress it was freakin Hot in New Orlean today. Too Hot too wear anything Black or anything that stuck too you. Your hair was curled even those you knew it wouldn’t last. Not enough hair spray can handle the humanity! Your hair was shinny and soft as Rebecca spoke, ‘where is he taking you?” “I’m not sure.. I made him promise too add food too the mix.. the human likes food.” She chuckled softly as you headed downstairs too see Klaus wearing Jean and a nice shirt, with his leather jacket. You smiled brightly he reminded you of when you first meet him in Mystic falls. You were waiting for Caroline and Bonnie at the Grill sitting at the Bar waiting for your Milkshake. The bartender looked at you funny when you asked for a chocolate milk shake but you pointed out on the menu it was on the kids menu so he was fixing you a large one. Klaus came In cocky as he sat down beside you. “Well-well well what a beautiful girl like yourself. Doing alone.” The line is as old as klaus. You simply turned too him and told him you were waiting for him. He chuckled as you soon got your milkshake and left. Standing there now. Looking at Klaus you smiled brightly as he smiled, “you look beautiful you ready?” “yea of course- am I dressed okay? What are we doing?” He chuckled softly as he lifted his arm up, “you’ll see” Getting too his car he helped you into his car as he drove. He was tense as you grabbed his arm softly. “Hey what are we doing?” He smiled as he spoke, “Patience.” He reached up grabbing your hand from his forearm and laced your fingers together. You smiled as you spoke, “ where we going.?” “you have no patience’s.”

“I used it all up on you.” He chuckled as he got too Lalaurie Mansion you gasped. Seeing the mansion . Lalaurie mansion is considered the most haunted location in the French Quarters. You turned too Klaus stunned. Since coming too New Orleans this was one of the places you wanted too visit. You loved checking out haunted places. Even those you would think. Between Vampires, werewolves, and witches you had enough Ghouls in your life. But you Love the glorified horrific historical Haunted places in the states. Living In mystic Falls and NEVER going anywhere. Lalaurie Mansion was one of the places you wanted too visit, Also Salem, and the Queen Mary. Klaus , Elijah And even Rebecca use too say there was enough horror in your life. You didn’t need too Add Ghosts too the mix. But Klaus smiled as he spoke, “Come on.” Getting out of the car. He walked over fast offering his arm as you grabbed it tightly as he lead you inside. Seeing the place was about too close. Klaus looked at the tour guide as he spoke ‘your giving us a private tour.” “of course I am.” Normally you disapproved of him using his abilities on humans. But getting a private tour . Sounded amazing. So you let it slide. Getting into the house. The tour guide gave you a tour of the grand mansion telling you about Delphine Lalaurie A vicious cruel Socialist /Serial Killer who tortured and murdered her slaves in her torture chambers in 1831-1834. The stories the tour guid told were terrifying. Klaus truthfully found this boring but he loved seeing your Eyes light up hearing the history. He use too love watching you study with Elijah when he tutored you in History seeing your eyes lite up with wonder of anything History. When you got too the chambers you held Klaus tighter as he wrapped his arm around you kissing your head, “don’t worry love, all the ghost and goblins are gone.” You smiled reached up kissing his cheek as the tour finished as Klaus and you got back into his car as he drove you too get some Food while you went too a Indie outdoor movie theatre. Afterwards Klaus and you went home. The moment he parked the. Car he spoke, “you know the moment we step out of here. They both will swarm us and demand too know what we did and every single detail.” Smiling weakly you turned facing him as you spoke, “Down side for dating someone who lives with you.- and when you live with your siblings.” He chuckled as he looked at you, “you have fun?” Smiling brightly you nodded your head reaching over cupping his face, before leaning over giving him a soft kiss. He smiled as you pulled away, “Good night Klaus” “No Night cap?” You smiled shaking your head, “Nope not while Everyone is home! Gross! They all have super hearing!” Klaus chuckled as you laughed getting out of the car. The next date you both went too the Bar. Which ended up with Klaus fighting with the werewolves So you dragged him out and went home. Klaus was a pure gentlemen, Not rushing anything, not forcing anything you weren’t comfortably with. It was when you talked too your sister. Elena who you confessed too her knowing about the supernatural did she ask if you slept with him yet. Your main reason for Not sleeping with him yet was because Well. The quarters were NEVER empty. Someone was always around. Between Elijah, Rebecca, Hailey, Kol! Marcel it was NEVER just you and him! As much as Klaus was being a gentleman and was respecting your decision too wait you were also getting antsy too just jump him. But the Super hearing.. was a Huge stop sign! Walking over too Klaus who was tense over the werewolves and witches. You stepped over. Too him as you spoke, “Hey can I kidnap you?” He looked up grinning. He leaned back in his big leather chair a he spoke , “And where are you taking me too?” “as a kidnappie you don’t get too know.” He chuckled as you grabbed his hand dragging him too your car. Where you drove out of the city ending up at a small cabin near the swamp. Seeing the lights were on he spoke, “what is this place?” “I rented it.”

Klaus grinned swooping over too you picking you up As your legs instantly wrapped around his waist as he carried you inside the cabin, all the time his lips were pressed against yours.

Perfection would be a under statement. You have had sex before. With your ex boyfriend. It was Nothing like it was with Klaus. Could it be the love you shared with him that made it perfect. Or the decades of experience Klaus had perfecting his skills. Or the creativity of his moves. You couldn’t figure it out but you were shaking when you were done. He was beside you breathing deeply as he reached over too his pants as he spoke, “I got you something.”

Looking over too Klaus seeing him pull out a bracelet that had red beads. That were red as blood. Titling your head he reached over putting it on your wrist as he spoke, “in case somethings happens..”

Sitting up for that he sighed as you spoke, “what you mean? What is it- Oh god.. Klaus tell me this isn’t your blood!”

“I might not be there always too protect you!- this way your safe.”

Looking at Klaus you couldn’t help but hit his arm. “Ow!”

‘Klaus! You can’t gift a girl your blood after what we just did!”

He chuckled as he spoke “I’m not paying you. I just want you safe.. Please.. promise me you wont take it off.”

He looked tense as you looked down at the bracelet as you nodded your head, “Fine- but this is gross.”

“its cute.” He held your hand as you squeezed his hand back as you chuckled. “So we did it.”

He laughed as you couldn’t help but join along. Looking at your hands you spoke, “I-can’t believe you saw me naked!”

“did more then see you naked.” You chuckled as he spoke, ‘what brought this on? The Romantic spot?”

Rolling your shoulders you laid back down as you wrapped your arms around his body as he shifted getting comfy. Again.

“Honestly. I figured I would Die before the Quarters were. Empty- and I wanted our first time too be just us- And not your siblings or Hailey or hope overhearing.”

He smiled kissing your head, “it was perfect.”

“it really way.”

Dating Klaus had it ups and downs. Especially since everyone wanted too kill him or hurt you for your connection. But at least you had a life raft in case you needed it.

[rosinna18]

🌹 Episode 10 Recap 🌹

(Click below the cut for a full summary)

~~~

Previously on... 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓵𝓸𝓻

Only the Top 3 remained as Devonte took the girls to Salvadorado for fantasy suite dates to test each of their connections one more time before deciding on who would become the final 2. ~

The first date went to Johanna, who received the most votes in the favorites poll, earning her 3 directed interactions. They went out to a museum to take in some local art and artifacts. Smitten as usual the couple spent a good deal of time standing outside, lost in each other's gaze, before Johanna beat Devonte to the punch, asking him to be her boyfriend. Eventually they spent some time looking at the art before having a candlelit dinner outside, sharing a few sweet moments between one another before heading back to the fantasy suite. They relaxed in the hot tub for a little bit before promptly going to bed, tired from a long day and just enjoying being able to cuddle up to one another for the first time. The next morning they got up to some WooHooing before Johanna left, ending a wonderful date all around.

~

The next date belonged to Delphine, who only received 1 vote in the favorites poll this week. He took her to a park to explore a bit of the jungle they were nestled in. This time Devonte was the one to not waste any time, quickly asking Delphine to be his girlfriend. They spent some time slow dancing and holding each other close, talking the day away before exploring the great outdoors a little more. As the sun began to set, Devonte grilled some dinner for them to have a picnic under the stars. Though they did not converse a ton over the meal, they left off with some stargazing before heading back to the fantasy suite. This time Delphine wasted no time getting to some hanky panky with Devonte just inside the door, the two heading to sleep straight after. We couldn't help but notice that Johanna was still on his mind in the morning though, even though the two had a lovely time and shared one more kiss goodbye as Delphine headed off.

~

Lastly Haylee got a date of course, her also receiving 1 vote in the favorite's poll. Devonte took her out to a local bar for some drinks and dancing and experiencing the local culture. The two chatted for a bit outside before quickly heading indoors to literally save Haylee's hide. They decided to dance together some, having a fun time until Devonte's flirty charm snuck up again and he made a quick pass at a local. Haylee was far from happy about this storming off to the other room. Devonte followed trying to do damage control but Haylee was having none of it. Going into the dinner with an icy vibe, the two made small talk most of the time. By the end of the meal Haylee seemed to calm down and they got a  bit more flirty as they discussed the situation a bit more. Devonte finally asked her to be his girlfriend and lead to her to the fantasy suite where Haylee promptly took him to the hot tub to WooHoo. As Devonte slept, Haylee stayed up most of the night really contemplating her feelings and the happenings of the night. They shared one more sweet kiss and reassurances in the morning, Haylee clearly deciding she was still on board as she went back to her room, awaiting her fate that night.

~

Devonte then had the rest of the day to sit with his feelings, look deep inside himself and reflect on the passed three days, as that night he would have to make the most difficult decision thus far, knowing he must break the heart of one of the ladies he had grown to care about so much in order to decide on the final two...

~

At last it was time for the newly corpse free rose ceremony. Each of the ladies trickled in, more nervous than ever as emotions had grown incredibly strong at this point, and Devonte was clearly distraught having to make this decision, but after much introspection, he knew what must be done. The first rose went to Johanna. For a long time Johanna had been at the forefront of his mind and they had more than made up for their recent rough patch. After a splendid day together and a wonderful night where they did a good amount of enjoying each other's bodies and each other's companies, Devonte was more secure than ever that they had something special together. Thus Delphine and Haylee were left. Delphine had found herself in the bottom 2 for the third week in a row. They had a beautiful date together, sharing a passionate night and countless romantic moments between the two. But was the passion as strong with her as it was with the other ladies? And was the freakier side of Delphine that Devonte seemed to bring out a good thing? Or releasing a side of her she would rather keep tucked away? Haylee on the other hand had ridden the middle for a long time before ending last week as the front runner, her bond to Devonte growing stronger each week. Less picturesque, Haylee's date involved some trouble in paradise. But was that fight enough to call it quits? Or was it what Devonte needed to realize just how strongly he cared for her? Devonte knew he loved them both a great deal, but deep down he knew that only one lady he could feel himself falling in love with... and that was Delphine, who received the final rose of the night. Unfortunately the disconnect with Haylee during their date proved that their bond wasn't as comfortable and soothing as the other two and that his eyes just weren't for her alone when they were together. With a heavy heart, he walked her out and sent our little vampire home.

~

And now we are left with only 2. After weeks of drama and passion, only Delphine and Johanna remain.

Eliminated Episode 10:

🥀 Haylee

[sixrandompirates]

The “Shit I Paid For” Build

I started off playing Skyrim on PS4. I was just getting back into gaming and building a PC wasn’t even on my radar at the time. As a PS4 player, I was deprived of a lot of great mods because Sony is a dick, so I ended up picking up a lot of the Creation Club stuff. My go-to creations, depending on the build,  have been the paralysis rune, the Netch Leather armor, and the Lord’s Mail. I like this stuff so much that when I ended up getting on PC I bought them again. Everything else gets stuffed into a chest because I haven’t had any use for them once enchanting hits 100.

Been trying to get back on the PS4 because I paid for this shit and want to use it, but I keep doing the same things I always do. Therefore, when I sat down last night and loaded up the game I decided to freshen things up with a “Shit I Paid For” build, with a few more catches.

(And should anyone decide to soap box about paying for CC stuff, I’ll remind you that I paid real money for an imaginary Nord boyfriend to live in my house in ESO, so your opinion is about as valid to me as the Prince Irnskar-sized hole in my wallet. I just don’t care.)

So here’s the gist: I’m playing a Nord (because I haven’t played a Nord in years) who is mostly a spellsword, but depending on the situation she may lean more towards battlemage or warrior.

MAGIC:

I can’t buy traditional spells, but I can buy spells that I bought from the CC. Right now that means the Arcane Accessories pack, starting with Choking Grasp and Elemental Flare. Eventually I’m able to get the entire set of spells from this pack from Hobs Fall Cave, but until then I can buy the spells from wizards.

Aside from these spells, the only other spells I can buy have to come from Tel Mithryn and be Dragonborn-specific. The reason for this is I never use these spells. My illusionist used the bound dagger, but that’s it. I also can’t wait too long before I start trading with Talvas, and assuming you’re familiar with how you achieve this you’ll know how involved such a plot is. There’s a trick to it, but it doesn’t always work on the first try so I’ll have my face sanded off a few times before I can report my success to Talvas.

Dawnguard spells, as in the spells you buy from the Dawnguard, are off limits, mainly because my current OC on PC is a Dawnguard-centric character who only uses Restoration magic with an emphasis on sun spells and I just don’t want to do this again - not even the free Sun Fire spell you get at the fort.

Note how I said I can only buy spells from these sources. If I find a spell out in the wild - in dungeons, Apocrypha, or the Soul Cairn, I’m free to use them. So if I open a chest and find Invisibility, I can use it if I have the skill to do so. I can also make spells in the Midden if I have the resources. Then there are the Saints & Seducers spells, and possibly the gross zombie spell.

Staves and scrolls are a free for all. I can buy them, make them, or find them in the wild. There are some CC staves I can get, but I don’t relish being murdered by angry Dremora at level 10, so this is it for a while. As with Talvas, I’m going to need to make nicey-nice with Neloth pretty early so he can sell me unenchanted staffs, which relates back to the face-sanding from above with the addition of angry ash spawn trying to kill me with fire. The catch here is that I can’t use any staff enchanter until Neloth lets me use his. Myrwatch, one of the CC houses, has a staff enchanter and supplies to make 2 staffs, but doing so levels you up super-fast so I have to put the work in with Neloth first. 

Spider Scrolls! I never use these. By the time I get to that dungeon I’m just “heh, spider buddies” and never use them. Like going to Tel Mithryn, I’m going to make a point to visit White Ridge Barrow sooner rather than later. Wish me luck, and by that I mean wish Lydia luck because she’s going to have to take more than a few spiders to the face for me.

I also rarely use shouts. This is ridiculous. The game is centred around your character being able to shout and I only use four shouts in four very specific scenarios (Dragon Aspect for fighting Miraak, Aura Whisper for fighting Harkon, Become Ethereal for jumping off shit, and Unrelenting Force for shouting Delphine off of Sky Haven Temple.) So in this playthrough I’m going to shout the shit out of anything and everything.

WEAPONS & ARMOUR

A little bit more flexible based on the difficulty of some of the CC quests. Until I level up I’ve got to take what I can get, because there’s no way I’m getting Duskfang or Umbra at a low level, and grabbing the Civil War Champions stuff means putting a brutally mean Stormcloak out on the tundra and I will inevitably forget about her and walk face-first into her battleaxe while picking flowers, so I’m not going near that quest for a bit.

Nord is going to be a heavy armour girl. This decision is based entirely on the fact that initially the only armour in the CC was heavy - Lord’s Mail, Vigilant, Civil War Champion - so I have more heavy armour options than light. When I pick up light armour I’ll save it for a follower, who will probably be a mage or an archer so they don’t GET IN MY DAMN WAY WHEN I’M HITTING THINGS BELRAND.

While I’m going to be rolling in CC stuff, I also want one single set of bad-ass Daedric armour to pull out for special occasions. Because it just looks epic. There’s a light alternative in the CC, but I’d rather just stick with heavy since I’m going to be investing in the heavy perks and won’t need light perks by the time I can respec.

She’ll use crossbows, first purchased from the fletcher in Solitude, and later picked up from a quest. Bolts will need to be purchased from the fletcher as well until we get into Dawnguard and the Dwemer Nerd sorted. She’ll also use Ruin’s Edge on occasion, because it’s a bow with an eyeball and I’d be crazy not to use that. Arcane Arrows will be used sparingly until I’m sure my follower isn’t GOING TO GET BLOWN UP LYDIA.

She’ll also use both 1H and 2H, because I have a mixture of both weapon type creations and they’re wasted on followers, and because I’m a goddamn Nord. This should be doable since I’m not investing many perks into soft skills or much magic outside of the destruction tree.

OTHER STUFF

Otherwise, there’s a bunch of random shit to make use of. 

For housing, I’ll live in one of the CC houses, with Winstad Manor as more of a working house for alchemy and the other properties/houses just as something to buy for gardening and a place to sleep when I’m in town.

There are several pets I can adopt, which I will, and some of these pets will put more mobs into the world, like goblins. I’ll probably take the goblin buddy as a follower once I park Lydia at Breezehome and Marcurio (future husband) at a house.

New ingredients will be introduced into the world with Saints & Seducers/Rare Curios and the goblin mod, so those will be used - Night Eye is a must before Darkfall Cave.

Dead Man’s Dread is a housing mod, which I’ll use as a showroom because it takes 3 frigging loading screens to get in there. This home also introduces new clothing to the world. I’ll use enchanted versions of the clothing at a much later level for running around or when I’m doing the thieves guild (exception being Nightingale Armour, which as tradition I always wear during the final quest because I refuse to be the only one not in the cool outfit.)

Most of the CC stuff adds some questing, but for actual quest mods there’s Saints & Seducers and Forgotten Seasons for later levels.

So that’s my build, made up of Shit I Paid For and shit I never use (which is technically shit we all paid for.) It’s going to take some finesse, since some stuff is just OP at low levels in terms of damage and levelling, but otherwise I’m looking forward to something new.

[demaury]

the best of me (chap.6)

Eliott and Lucas have never worked up the courage to actually make a move, and thus spent years dancing around each other without ever acknowledging their feelings. However, an engagement party gone a little too wild, an hotel room and a very bad idea might be all it takes to make everything blow up. (read on ao3)

I think we already did.

The words sank and Lucas’ heart sank with them. His fingers tightened around nothing as Eliott’s eyes trailed over his face, and then just like that he was gone, leaving Lucas to stare at his back while he was retreating towards the elevator. His eyes started to sting painfully but he felt his blood boil at the same time, as if his body didn’t know very well how to handle that new rush of emotions.

He found himself following behind, feet moving forward before he really got behind what was happening. “You’re right,” he said.

If all was lost he deserved to be honest.

He deserved to let go of all the things he had been holding back for years now.

Eliott scooted around, and Lucas’ heartbeat picked up as he fought as hard as he could possibly do to keep his voice in check. “Our relationship is a burden. It’s too much and I don’t think I can take it anymore, but it doesn’t have anything to do with you getting depressed,” he pressed on, speech rate going a tad faster. “What I can’t take anymore, it’s all those people who constantly walk over you and that you keep letting in anyway. They don’t deserve you. They don’t deserve who you are, they don’t deserve your kindness.”

Julien, Eliott’s first boyfriend after Lucille, considered that Eliott’s drawings and animal characters were a waste of time and potential and had no trouble to speak up his mind about them. The girl he had dated alongside that boy had dumped him shortly after the third one had left them, simply because she got bored from dealing with a heartbroken Eliott. Hell, even Eliott’s parents didn’t have the decency to respect his wish for privacy and had blatantly told a friend of their son’s they had never seen before that Eliott was psychologically unstable.

“I was mad. I still am,” Lucas said again, a bitter chuckle escaping his lips as he made an evasive gesture with his arms. “Seeing you with them makes me mad. Having to make room for them in our relationship makes me mad. It’s not- It’s not even because I don’t want to share you, I just don’t want to share you with people who don’t give a fuck, but here I am, doing that every three weeks or so, and I’m tired. It’s exhausting and it’s unnerving, and it has no fucking end, and the worst part is that I just don’t know what my spot in all of this is. I find myself searching for words to explain your boyfriend or your girlfriend that you can’t deal with them at the moment, and I don’t care if it makes me look like the bad guy, I don’t care if it makes me look like I’m the one intruding in your relationships, I don’t care because that’s what you need from me, but all I want is- all I wanted was to know what my goddamn place was.”

Was I your best friend? Was I your found baby-brother? Was I just another part of your polyamory thingy? These were the questions he was dying to ask, but none made it past his lips, dying in his throat instead. He wanted to be honest but honesty was fucking hard and he didn’t know if he had any bit of energy left at this point.

“What am I for you?” he insisted again, and his voice cracked halfway through the sentence. What was I, before you decided to cut me off?

Eliott’s eyes fell to the side, his shoulders hunching slightly forward. “Does it count as something if I can’t name it?”, he eventually said, barely louder than a whisper.

Lucas’ eyes widened slightly and the lump in his throat grew ten times bigger. “You can’t name it,” he repeated flatly. “You wear you fucking heart on your- you know what? Forget it. Nevermind,” he shook his head and took a step back. “Whatever it is, whatever it was, it’s over anyway.”

He fought the tears as he turned onto his heels and strode outside the lobby where Manon was waiting for their cab. Eliott didn’t follow him. He didn’t utter a word, he didn’t say anything at all, and Lucas didn’t stick around any more minute to wait for him to do so.

It wasn’t like there was anything else to add anyway.

*

It wasn’t 11 when they landed in Paris, and before noon when he got back home, crawling back there as if he had been ran over by a bus.

The ride to the airport had been deadly silent on Lucas’ part, but if anything he was glad Manon of all people had been there with him. She had seen him at his best and at his worst across the years; she knew exactly when to push and to stop. The way he shoved his sunglasses on his nose as soon as he exited the hotel lobby was enough of a signal for her apparently. She didn’t ask any stupid question, resisted the social pressure of providing useless comments and sweet nothings, and undertook the small talk with the taxi driver on their way to the airport without asking him to take any part in a conversation he barely understood anyway. If she spotted a few tears streaming down his cheeks, she didn’t say anything.

Two days turned into five, five days turned into a week, a week turned into two, then three. Life went back to normal, or what was supposed to be the new normal. Lucas wasn’t used to normal, although the gap between him and his friends had lessened over the last few years — no, he was used to weird. The consequences of that weekend abroad hit him like a truck launched at full speed when he realized, halfway through the week following their return to Paris that yes, he did break up with Eliott. They were no longer friends. And if by any chance Eliott eventually decided to make his way back to the French capital city, they would no longer hang out together, let alone text each other until ungodly hours. You could decide to remain friends with the person you had stopped dating (although it was a performance he had never achieved himself), but how could you decide to downgrade a friendship out of the blue?

The prospect of having to establish a new paradigm for his and Eliott’s relationship started to occupy half of his time and to take over his sleepless nights, while the other half was more than busy stressing over the new responsibilities stemming from the fact that his boss on vacations for two weeks meant he was in charge. The workload wasn’t all that heavier, even more so because of the summer holidays, but the tiniest task had him regularly stressed out more than usual. Needless to say, he had known better summers. A week exactly after their weekend in Spain, Lucas had the honor, as the future best man and an honorary member of the Cazas family, to be invited to the engagement dinner Yann and Nola hosted for their families. It was all good and delightful, really, until a particularly nosy aunt of Nola’s decided to set him up with Delphine, her niece’s very single maid-of-honor — the cherry on top.

The atmosphere within the gang was still a bit weird, leaving more than one of them uneasy, and it was the extended weekend of the 15th of August before Lucas heard about Eliott again — about, not from. As far as he was concerned, the last time they’d spoke was in the hotel lobby, and the last texts Eliott had sent from that weekend abroad still laid unreturned in his phone. Even his Instagram account had been dead silent since then, which hadn’t happened in a very, very long time, if ever.

“Emma wants to talk with you,” Yann said one evening. “Guess she wants to apologize again.”

Lucas glanced in the distance. “I don’t really want to,” he admitted with a sigh, “but I guess it’d look childish to keep her at arm’s length.”

His best friend studied him curiously. “I never thought you’d be…”

“What? The bigger man?” Lucas snorted.

“-I was gonna say chill.”

Lucas shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not gonna thank her either. Neither her, nor the guys. It was fucked up and it will take a while before I can consider myself over it.”

Yann took a sip from his beer. “No one asked you to laugh it off, it’s okay.”

“Yeah.” He paused and let his beer bottle roll between his fingers. “You were right. About me and Eliott. We didn’t know shit about what was happening. It was best for us to part ways.”

It still felt so incredibly bitter on his tongue. Eliott, who wore his heart on his sleeve, who fell for the first person who gave him attention and support and called it love after hanging out a couple of times and banging halfway through the first date, that Eliott didn’t know how to acknowledge their relationship. It’s not love, it never was, a voice repeated him every one and then, and after some time he had started believing it; it didn’t feel so alien. It just was, period.

“I never said you two needed to break it off,” Yann countered. “All I said was that you needed to figure things out. Put a name on it once and for all.”

“Well, we did,” Lucas waved.

He didn’t want to talk about it anymore and they easily moved onto another subject, which turned out to be the current intern at Lucas’ firm. The girl, Bérénice, was always slipping out to smoke outside, particularly since their boss wasn’t there, which profoundly annoyed him. First, because it was rude as hell. Her job was to welcome hypothetical clients and to answer the damn phone. Second, because she knew very well that although he was hired and he was older and he was in charge he wasn’t the actual boss and had no power to end her internship anytime soon. Third, because he had quit smoking two years ago and now he was dying to go back to it — all because of her, obviously, and not because of Eliott. She just had this ability to disappear in a blink, without a sound, and after nearly two weeks from that treat, Lucas was on the verge of strangling her more often than not.

That day was no exception. A Thursday afternoon overall quiet, the second to last day before his boss came back to work and hopefully knocked some sense into that stupid intern. Lucas had just gone to the archives to fetch a file he needed to complete a current work, only to find their shared office empty.

“Bérénice,” he called out, glancing around. “Bérénice.”

The only answer was the humming of the traffic down the street and Lucas huffed in frustration. That was it. He was going to deck her, he decided, and he slammed the file onto his desk. It sent a paper sheet flying, and then slowly falling somewhere under the table. Great. He hated his life so freaking much. With another huff to himself through gritted teeth, he postponed rushing downstairs to grab Bérénice by her ponytail (he wasn’t violent, okay?) and bring her back to her table work, and squatted down instead to fumble for the paper sheet.

He rapidly unfolded it with a quirked brow, his heart skipping a beat as his eyes stumbled onto the familiar outline drawn in black ink on the sheet. It was a familiar-looking raccoon, sitting alone on a bed, his black pointy ears down and a sad look on his face. Four words were scribbled underneath.

Three weeks without him.

What the fuck was that thing doing here? It was obviously recent, he couldn’t even doubt that it might have been an old one that he would, somehow, have forgotten about. The drawing wasn’t there when he had gone to the archives, which meant-

“Hi,” a voice said somewhere in the office, and it startled Lucas so much that his head snapped up, bumping it loudly in the desk above him.

He scrambled his way out with a wince, still holding the drawing. His eyes slowly climbed up a familiar pair of sneakers. Familiar distressed dark jeans. Familiar everything.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas asked, a little bit thrown off, as he rubbed the spot on his head while Eliott looked at him sheepishly.

“I, uh, I told your intern to go grab a coffee,” he cleared his throat.

Lucas snorted. “And of course she listened to you.”

Unbelievable, he was really going to deck her. He stood up, and after glancing at the drawing once more, he held it out with a quizzical expression.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Eliott said, biting onto his bottom lip.

I’m at work, Lucas nearly replied. Surely he could have found a better moment to drop by, like lunch time for instance. Instead he just sighed and put the drawing down on the desk. “Alright. Okay, but hurry up, please.”

Eliott swallowed and his eyes fell onto the ground with a small ‘okay’ before he started looking up again. “I should have written what I wanted to say,” he mumbled, more to himself than to Lucas apparently. “I’m sorry. For the way things went down in Spain. For the things I said. I just- I just felt like it was a fucking nightmare. Like I was losing everything.”

Lucas let out a little huff. “It’s not everything. I’m not all you have.”

“You’re a big part of it,” Eliott said again, brutally honest, and Lucas hated the way his heart softened in his chest, as if he was leaning into an invisible touch. “I never realized it bothered you how much I was unloading onto you. I think… I think I didn’t want to see it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the door hanging wide open. “The first time I saw you, I remember, you had that… that big smile on your face and you were laughing with the guys, and, I don’t know, I just felt like I wanted to keep it on forever.” He chuckled to himself, shaking his head without meeting his eyes. “I didn’t even know you and yet all I wanted was to protect you.”

Eliott’s eyes were impossibly soft, but there was a sad glint to them. They could go back to the way things were, couldn’t they? I don’t want to. He missed having Eliott around. He missed talking to him. He craved for his smiles and for his laugh and for his inspired comments on the beauty of this world out there. But he didn’t miss dealing with yet another fling of Eliott’s. For all he knew, there wasn’t anybody in the picture at the moment, which meant that Eliott had been single for at least a month, if not two. A prowess, if his dating records were any indication, which surely wouldn’t last much longer than that.

“You still haven’t given me a definition of what we are,” Lucas said.

“What we are, what we used to be- Does it matter?” Eliott asked. “Does it matter if that’s not what I want us to be?”

This is so fucked up. Lucas huffed and shook his head, feeling like his chest was constricting. How many times had he dreamt about Eliott confessing his undying love when he was 16, before wrapping his head around the idea that it’d never happen?

“You’re almost ten years too late,” he had a sad laugh. “I liked you. I always did. You were so cool and confident and obviously so fucking far out of my league. But then we talked, and you were nice to me, and you made feel so at ease… I never wanted it to stop.”

“And why do you think I stuck around?” Eliott had a small, almost sheepish smile.

“That’s the problem. People stick around until they leave. They just come and go, and I didn’t want you to leave, ever.”

Eliott looked down. “But I left anyway.”

“But you left anyway.”

“So that’s why you never said anything?” Eliott’s voice sounded sad, and his face almost crestfallen, as if he had just heard a devastating news.

Lucas chuckled, still blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay. Why was he such a cry-baby? No one ever cried as much as he fucking did. You’d think that he wouldn’t have much more tears to shed after all this time but apparently he still had plenty. “Nearly ten years spent trying to bury it all and look at me now! A fucking mess.”

Lucas brought his hand to his face and bitterly wiped his eyes. He had never thought he’d start crying in the middle of his work office but apparently Eliott had so fucking much power over him than talking for five minutes was enough to turn him into a babbling, stupid mess.

“A beautiful mess,” Eliott said, soft, almost light-heartedly.

Lucas looked up to glare at him, but before he could even do so, he felt two arms wrapping around him and pulling him closer, closer, closer, until he was pressed into Eliott’s chest. The tension of the past few weeks seemed to lift off his shoulders as he inhaled deeply, losing himself completely in Eliott’s smell. It was familiar. Almost like home.

A small knock on the door made Lucas startle and Eliott and him pulled away from each other. Bérénice was standing in the doorframe of the office, looking vaguely smug. “Sorry to interrupt but, like, it’s already 2.30,” she said casually.

Eliott cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. “Right. I’ll just- I’ll just leave.”

Lucas stared, a little bit stunned and a lot emotionally drained, as Eliott threw a glance above his shoulder while walking out. A part of him couldn’t believe he’d just leave like that. He had no problem telling Bérénice to fuck off before, why would he be scared of her all of a sudden? What the fuck had just happened anyway? There had been tears and ‘I’m sorrys’ and a whole bunch of things he was fine with keeping to himself, and now- now what?

“Your boyfriend’s hot,” Bérénice commented, not looking remotely ashamed.

Lucas snapped out of his thoughts, but was a bit too lost at the moment to tell her to fuck off. With a mumble he rounded his work table and dropped himself on his desk chair, just as his phone was lighting up with a text notification. Lucas’ heart literally jumped forward in his chest when he read Eliott’s name. He had never opened a text so fast in his entire life.

Boyfriends

That’s what I want us to be

 I’d like that

I’d like that a lot

[scully-deserves-better]

anne with an e 3x08(?) A Dense and Frightful Darkness live reaction post SPOILERRRS and get ready for a lot of capitalization

-YAS marilla!!! omg i LOVE that she’s telling anne to run and tell Gilbert and not make the same mistake she did i love HER

-YAS GURL

-MATTHEW JUST JUMPING IN AND HELPING ANNE SET OFF ON HER QUEST G O D I LOVE THE CUTHBERTS

-SHUT THE FUCK UP GILBERT WENT TO SEE DIANA wait i meeeean her dad? lmao

-ANNE MEETING BASH’s MOM YAS

-anne writing her letter 😭😭😭😭😭

-“MAY I PLEASE HAVE MY PEN BACK” GOD

-GIRL he’s not gonna see it under there????

-god delphine is the cutest baby ever im not kidding

-FUCK THE WHITE MEN YALL WERE ON THE MAINLAND GET OUT OF HERE

-KA’KWET STAY INSIDE GIRL PLZ

-UM

-I THINK THE FUCK NOT

-MY HUNK MAN OF A BOYFRIEND i mean

-what who said that

-KA’KWETS DAD WAS NOT JUST SHOT? PLZ NO

-IT SMEARED THE LETTER TF now he wont be able to read the “i love you” part 🤡🤡

- nooo i wanted marilla and rachel and bash’s mom to have a girl squad :(

-HDBWJND HERE WE GO MORE BASH AND MISS STACY I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR SHIPPING THEM I SWEAR TO GOD

-MURIEL IS HOLDING DELPHINE OMG I LOVE ITTT

-WHY SHE CRYIN HELLO HELLO? HELLO?

-HAHABRNSKCNSNA

-THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT FINDING A NEW PARTNER AND RACHEL’S “HELP” LOLLL

-yaaaaas we building the schoooooool

-gilbert literally can’t stop thinking about anne and i love it

-everything he sees reminds him of anne omg

-DIANA’S MOM TRYING TO HELP WITH MINNIE MAYS MATH HOMEWORK IS EVERY PARENT EVER HAHAHAHAHA

-marilla i swear to god don’t be weird

-MATTHEW JUST JUMPING INTO THE SADDLE AGAIN I LOVE HIM

-:(((((((((( it’s hard to make marilla cry and Ka’kwet’s mom did it in 30 seconds

-MISS STACY IS IN SEBASTIAN LACROIX’S HOME HELLOOOOOOOO

-i gotta say i love miss stacy’s messy ass hair

-and i gotta say i’m over bash’s mom’s sass

-MARILLA IS JUST ON A KNIFE’S EDGE RN ARE YOU KIDDING IM ABOUT TO JUMP THROW MY SCREEN RN

-that little moment of anne and matthew reaching for each other on got me :(

-shut the fuck up gilbert did not just perfectly step on the letter and not see it i hate cinematography

-NICE

-ITS OUTSIDE ALL TRAMPLED

-oooo we out here camping

-wish it was under better circumstances :(

-matthew is about to throw hands rn

-o SHITTT

-MATTHEW IS ON THE GROUND

-ok he good

-sister i swear to god

-shut the fuck up sister just let her go

-yall better break her out

-“just like your father said” EVERYTIME THEY REFERENCE THE CUTHBERTS AS HER FATHER OR MOTHER it gets me EVERYTIME

-are you kidding me

-they’re camping RIGHT OUTSIDE?

-at least HIDE

-FUUUUUUCK

-RIGHT

-OFFF

-FUCK OFF I HATE THIS

-GOD LOOK AT HOW FAR ANNE AND MARILLA HAVE COME

-marilla and anne just running into each other’s arms i love themmmm

-NO ANNE

-HE DIDNT SEE YOUR NOTE PLEASEEE

-YASSS GO GET THOSE STRAIGHT FACTS

-can bash’s mom please actually fuck off im sorry but the sass is getting annoying im sorry

-BASH DIDNT KNOW HIS FATHER DIED???????

-L Y N C H E D???!?!?!!

-HE’S JUST FINDING OUT NOW????

-i swear to god if we dont see gilbert break it off with winnie i will fight

-omf just KIDDING theres one minute left

-WAIT

-wait

-never fucking mind

if you made it this far congratulations this is my thought process every week and im sorry this is so long

[mercurialstephie]

To those who have started to watch Versailles because of what I wrote, I am beyond happy that I was able to point you towards something that hopefully will give you a small bit of comfort and hope that shows can do better. Please, please tell your friends! Let people know that a great show with representation for women, for LGBT+, for people suffering from all types of mental and physical disabilities exists out there {POC they do their best but unfortunately they were limited by the setting and I wish they had been able to do better on that front}. I will never stop giving credit to the writers, and to the actors because they had literal landmines to step around, they could have all too easily made Philippe a charicature like he had been portrayed in history: instead they gave us a wonderfully complex man who is not perfect by any means, is coping with depression, PTSD, yet is confident and comfortable with his sexuality, doesn’t see the need to ‘choose’ between being ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine” and can even be read as truly non-binary. They could have made Chevalier a typical bisexual schemer who is using his rich boyfriend for money but they have him show such remarkable character growth and is one of the best character development I have ever seen: from a coward who goes along with anyone as long as it benefits him to willingness to sacrifice everything he has for principals and for what is right. They had to marry their LGBT leading man to a woman: well they made BOTH his relationships with them not....horrifically awkward and the mistakes they made with Henriette they rectified with Liselotte. They made the ‘girl who comes in between them’ someone who understood and respected their love, who started off as a ‘rival’ {well to one of them but it’s much more complex than that}  but  became part of their family and their relationship {yes we have a pretty solidly canon polyship!}. And the other female love interest “Delphine? They did a remarkable job in exploring The Chevalier’s bisexuality and MADE HER LIKABLE! Again this show could have gone so horribly wrong and they really rarely if ever messed up. The writing is beautiful, the actors are top notch, the setting is gorgeous and everyone ends up happy!! Two out queer men get to skip into the sunset happily at the end of the show in a historical drama!! So if you want to know what a show could be with some great representation...and an alternative for The Magicians please watch and TELL YOUR FRIENDS! The actors are still very much attached to their characters and who knows, maybe we can get a fourth season if viewership on Netflix grows! 

[moonbeatblues]

16. i’ll believe in anything (and you’ll believe in anything)

The ocean is good to Delphine. Always has been.

She went south during college summers, slept with the windows open and the air coming in thick and salty-sweet from the beach and its flowers.

The waters were cold, always steel-grey and lashing up at sand and feet like a dog, held back only by the moon.

Delphine knows the ocean only takes, and spits out shells, but she’s not afraid of the cold. At 20, the pull of the tide was not enough to break the skin, and let it never be said, but she doesn’t mind a little pain.

—

She does not go to the coast of America. There is no salt in her hair when she meets Cosima, and she wonders if Cosima thinks her as hollow and riddled through as she feels.

Cosima is obsidian, Cosima is brilliant and spiraling and sharp, Cosima is searing in short little bursts and cool again, smooth to worry over for a long while.

Cosima burns through Delphine in seconds; she does not leave things unfinished beneath her.

—

It’s not that Delphine has never been loved, no. There were hot summers with boys who lived in the beach towns— they’d meet her down by the pier, mouths earnest and clumsy, and she’d feel warm down to her toes, warm to match the sun and cement. There were doting boyfriends in college, mylar balloons for Valentine’s Day and those tense fights about the future where both parties know it won’t work but aren’t quite done lying about it— there was love to be felt, before Cosima.

Cosima is not the first to love Delphine. But she is the first to really, properly hurt her.

Things before were laid out smooth: years in college and med school, an internship that carried seamlessly into a job. Years spent in the wash make everything a little less exciting, and lo, she does not go to the beach.

She arrives a little too grating for the part Leekie wants played, and has to practice looking like a student again. Not that it’s hard to be confused by the people, but her intrigue is something cold and frictionless, now. There’s an ice in her veins that keeps her from the jitters that would really sell this.

Cosima is not stupid— the look she gives Delphine that first day in the lab is an immediate alarm— she is not expecting Delphine to cry and fold in the arms of a new friend.

And so she doesn’t, really.

The way to really get to Cosima is to show her something new— Delphine might not impress Cosima alone, but her work can.

Or so she thinks.

Delphine frets that Cosima and her non-Newtonian temper won’t go down easy for Leekie, but he only quirks his mouth in that wry smile at her skepticism, in the way that Delphine knows to mean this is on her head.

She feels like she loses a little of Cosima’s fixation, pretending to fawn over her own work the way she does—tries to remember that it doesn’t really matter, that the more naïve Cosima thinks her, the better, but there’s a part of her that doesn’t want Cosima to see her as anything less than interesting.

And so, when Cosima offers to get her high, Delphine doesn’t turn her down. It puts a gleam in her eye, against the glare of patchy snow, that Delphine thinks about for a little too long. She goes home with her mouth tasting like ash and warm from the sides of Cosima’s face.

There’s something compacted down in Delphine, something primordial and previously silent between her ribs, and it stirs itself up again, warm and sleepy in her chest when she sees Cosima’s dorm. More than anything she’s pretending to be fuzzy on the few glasses of wine— a pitiful offering to her French liver— and Cosima’s eyes are dark and flaring heat out at the edges like eclipses.

The foyer seems even smaller than Delphine had initially found it to be, warmth crowding in close like gondola passengers— hasty and red in the cheeks, to match her— and Cosima’s voice has this gravel to it, bass through a neighboring wall, rattling the windowpanes.

There’s this deep-blue shot of fear that drops in Delphine’s stomach at her words, billowing out like watercolor, but then Cosima’s mouth finds hers and everything is that New-Year’s-red again.

And now, now it is easy to be sophomoric and soft, to fold at the knees.

Cosima’s face burns where she touches it, greedy hands in holy water, and she turns tail.

All the way to the car parked several blocks down, her stomach turns like a bed of snakes.

Leekie only echoes the same frenetic chorus in her head— the last bit of her set on upholding a crueler version of herself is enough to gather up and hiss, “She made a pass at me, Aldous,” with all the authority of a child. It feels bitter on its way past her teeth, like spitting coffee grounds, and Delphine is a liar; she starts at the phrase “dig deeper,” and runs in her heels, and thinks, very simply, that Cosima is not an easy person to be away from.

—

Delphine drips slow with honey for her, there’s this dark, warm tug in her belly to see Cosima shed that gauzy shawl for Delphine to slip her hands past. Reticence is slipping from her mind like slick plants down the shoreline, she is quietly, fiercely focused on holding all the fire Cosima is breathing down her throat.

It is very fortunate Cosima does not have a roommate, she thinks, heels loud on the floor as she’s guided backwards. Beyond the obvious— there is something intensely silent about the way that churning in Delphine’s stomach has gone, like an angry god finally sated; she has stumbled upon something finally worth protecting. A small flame setting feeling back into her fingers, a numbness receding that is so old it no longer was, warmth so new it burns even infinitesimal.

And there are benefits to being in a space entirely hers, Delphine thinks— she feel deep in the glittering depths of some hoard, amongst the things Cosima finds sacred, and she is suddenly giddy on the idea that she might be one of those things.

Cosima is the most reassuring partner she’s ever had, and there’s a pleasant hush of tinnitus in Delphine’s skull, like the roll of waves, that peels back to hear her speaking up the length of Delphine’s throat.

“You’re so good,” she says with the reverence reserved for saints, and Delphine breaks apart, head falling to bury in Cosima’s shoulder because she is not, because God knows she’s been waiting to hear that for longer than she can imagine, god knows it makes her jump like a live wire and grind down further, and god knows Cosima takes notice, grins with sleepy adoration and doubles down upon making Delphine feel like she is worth the attention she gives.

She cries when she rolls off that last edge with her face tipped up to the ceiling, and tries to pretend she’s felt that much all at once before.

—

Breaking up has never been this hard, Delphine thinks.

Not for lack of experience— hot summers end, after all— but Cosima is far too many firsts all in one, too close and too hot not to miss.

The look she gives Delphine almost kills her. Like Delphine had broken her in two, not at the heart, but down the center.

Delphine has seen Cosima at her lowest. Cleaned the blood from both of their clothes, gotten tangled in the tubes snaking from her nose, fretted over every catch in her breath when she slept.

But she thinks, now, that Cosima has never looked sadder, never been more pitiful. Like she’s a flower and Delphine, all jaws and teeth and leather, has swallowed the sun. She has the thought— “I’ve hurt her more than DYAD”— and reels so hard she can’t say I love you, much as she feels it.

Cosima says okay with her mouth and eyes wet and open, like she’s speaking from underwater, and Delphine is left to choke and gasp out in the hallway.

She cries, and watches her hair curl up at the ends under the shower, and dreams of herself in Rachel’s stilettos with her toes planted to the small of Cosima’s back. Her bed is far too big to thrash in alone— sweating and coming awake, she keeps expecting to roll off, but never does.

—

It feels almost good, to see her with someone else.

Months and months, the cold winter through Delphine has done nothing but break Cosima. Lure her back in, fill up the cracks with honey-gold and press her thumbs against those same lines, again. It seems right that now should be her turn.

She never really talked to Cosima about how it felt to kiss Sarah, how heavy the scales were when they fell from her weary eyes. Knowing someone, and finding another. It was something beyond disappointment, something low and dark red, and Delphine’s fingers stuttered over her Cosima’s face when she saw her again.

Delphine does not like to think herself possessive, but there’s that same, unavoidable dark red in seeing Shay. Less envy and more the same anger she holds towards herself, at not yet discovering that Cosima’s not something the low and fallible deserve.

It feels good to be broken in kind. Cosima still has that boundless energy for what is new, and this shift in their dynamic has her eyes a darker shade of what Delphine loves; she experiments, she tests the waters, pokes all around at Delphine like she’s a specimen, like she’s seeing her, finally, as that caged lion, emaciated and shaved at the ankles, heavy frame held up by nothing at all and weight carried too low along the spine. Tail in the dust.

Delphine would not be proud to admit it, either, but she enjoys that, too.

There is something intoxicating about capturing someone’s interest, and there is none better to be studied by than Cosima.

—

There is a great deal Cosima will never know about the things Delphine has done for her, and despite all the ways they have gone to soft and rotting rinds of themselves, quiet fermentation in another’s garden, Delphine will not hold it against her.

There was an immediate pride she had at the beginning of all things, before she knew the shifting nature of the sidelines— she was Cosima’s monitor.

There was something to cultivate, something to lose herself in, and in golden afternoon, in a big warm rush, it became someone. She slipped, a few times, but never enough to break. The mythos held, and there was the headiness of falling for someone without knowing them. (Not to say Delphine did not know about Cosima, but there was a great gap between toxicology data and watching Cosima’s pupils dilate, expanding like a cat’s in the dark, blooming like hallucinogenic flowers.)

She learned all too fast, and in all the wrong ways the low, twisted parts of her when her lungs failed, learned that Cosima sleeps sun-drunk in the dusty belly of their lab with cells from her sisters clipped to the microscope stands, found the bounds of her convictions, her foolish little altruistic, calcified streak, by bulling straight for it.

She made Cosima roar by trying to keep her alive, and in that out-of-order way saw the parts of her that still were.

She cried when Cosima seized for the first time, and made damn sure to be around for the rest.

There was a new high to keeping Cosima safe as the difficulty increased— there is something in Delphine that just wants to take care— she knew, from that first night, that she was staking all of herself on this hill with legs too weak to descend.

And so Delphine cannot really regret anything. To love all was something Delphine took up like a plasmid, writing into herself the instructions. She knows she is something beyond herself, now, something preened and serrated, but it was as it would always come to be, in the end.

She pushes back. She fights with closed fists and she wakes up early to straighten her hair because it’s measurable, like wiping down strings, like oiling leather. It’s a mantra beyond maintenance, it’s a reminder, a quota, a promise to no one and to herself.

When she kisses Cosima outside it is like breathing, it is a greeting without fanfare, like coming home in the night to sleep with only the shucking of coat and shoes as unpacking.

Cosima greets her in her catlike fashion, blinking slowly and with a hum; in a moment of grace, Delphine, beginning to cry, chokes and smiles and thumbs at Cosima’s bottom lip, and says goodbye in the way of one pretending to return.

And getting shot is not so much worse than when she was ten and her appendix burst on the way to the family physician— sitting against the cement of the garage, there is some respite to be had, at least for her feet. In Rachel’s heels her legs buckle to sprawl on the ground and slide through the first bit of her blood to spill that far, like a fawn on its belly.

Weary and with eyes welling in pained tears, she thinks, “I am done,” and kicks them off.

—

It is a very long night when Delphine takes up her old habit of bodily trying to keep Cosima from dying.

She knows the procedure for hypothermia, she has been essentially a combat medic these months, but she has never done this herself. Another first.

It really is disconcerting to feel how cold Cosima is this close— Delphine feels feverish, a furnace in comparison, and she pulls one of Cosima’s legs between her own, trying to press closer.

Cosima makes a startled hum; wiggles her eyebrows and things feel better so immediately that she revels in how good Cosima is at leaching the worry from her.

That she only has a scar (which Cosima eagerly slides a cold palm over), that Cosima is alive in the same glorious way she was when they met, that she’s here, wonderful and smelling of snow, with her heavy limbs and her sleepy eyes and her quiet love, so strong it is almost angry— Delphine ends up crying into her already-wet hair and doing a very bad job of keeping Cosima warm on all sides.

But she’s alive, and it’s been so long since she’s seen Cosima’s eyes so close without glasses, and she’s stopped shivering, the rattle gone from her chest. There is time plenty for Delphine to finally, again be told that she has done well.