#delayed reaction much?

[jinglyhigh-heels]

I’m pretty sure I have a google docs for this, but I’m not in the mood to actually look for it, so:

Issues I have and should address in therapy:

1. not having therapy. I need therapy.

2. feeling like I need to deserve things.

- need to put in This many friendship tokens in order for this person to like me

- need to be better at clarinet in order to buy a better clarinet (when in fact, getting a new clarinet should help me get better*)

3. insecure insecure insecure it’s been twinging in my gut for weeks now idk what to do not good enough even though I‘m not bad for where I’m at (I think), I’m probably technically average but I feel like a disappointment like I’m bad

4. hasn’t been an issue lately (I‘d actually need to hang out around people for this to even be a possibility) but my tendency to fawn/freeze whenever someone seems like they’re going to get angry with me and/or when people yell at me (thanks mom)

5. I‘m so bad at friends?? And I don’t even know what exactly it is. Like I know (at least, I think I do) what I’m technically doing wrong, but I don’t know (well, not exactly—I have a few guesses) the root mental issues and how to tackle them. Because trying to tackle the results clearly ain’t working, and I’m sad and lonely.

*and that’s another thing! Ik that getting a new clarinet will help, but I’m stuck with this loop of subconsciously hoping that it would cure all my issues (and therefore my self-worth/anxiety/self-confidence issues), but knowing that it likely won’t and that having this hope will only lead a really bad anxiety/self-doubt/regret episode when it is inevitably dashed. But I don’t know where exactly to put my expectations! There’s no real answer for how this will immediately help me, until I actually buy the thing, and so my brain keeps going for the ideal! Gah!

6. I know all this and therefore I don’t need therapy, right? Right?!? Ahahahahahahaha

Edit: something I should mention is that I technically have ADHD meds that I should be on. However, many issues were present when it came to actually getting them, so I’m about 3 months unmediated unfortunately. Aside from (?), one reason I haven’t started seeking therapy is that I’m pretty sure my medicine helped with a lot of the insecurity?? And idk if it was like a “the medicine helps with the thing that is causing the anxiety” or a “the medicine actually just fistfights the anxiety”, but either way I think I should wait until I’m able to get back on my meds and readjust to them before I start therapy, that way I go into it knowing what I don’t got covered.

[cawsket]

Really feeling the same pain as when httyd3 came out right now. They should invent a finale to my favourite things that are good

[stagefoureddiediaz]

I feel so itchy and skin crawly looking at this picture

Like that is Eddie covered in bees (shudder) I’m assuming during the call at the perfume launch thingy where we’ve seen him running with his bee net on!

It’s also making my brain itch!!

[pinkieroy]

Okay, I just got a little sad thinking about how ashton wanted someone to hold them through the night, but woke up alone and with two friends in danger all over again

[age-of-moonknight]

Werewolf by Night: Red Band (Vol. 1/2024), #2.

Writer: Jason Loo; Penciler: Sergio Dàvila; Inkers: Jay Leisten and Aure Jimenez; Colorist: Alex Sinclair; Letterer: Cory Petit

[pergaminaa]

Modern au

When asked, Manon would confess that pregnancy wasn't all that great, and she honestly can't understand how some people willingly put themselves through that kind of thing again and again.

The first few weeks were okay; she really didn't think too much of it, and from how things were going she believed it would be smooth sailing. Why were people complaining? Everything is seamless (she really thought she was built different)

A few weeks later, morning sickness began, and with it, Manon's earlier sentiments went out of the window. It was hard and downright brutal. She believes that calling it morning sickness is wrong because it was persistent all day and night long, for days and days and days. Really, it was endless. She was feeling sick most of the time; she wasn't eating and she was tired all the time. During that time there were regular hospital visits because she just kept throwing up and all that dehydration was not good neither does her nor the fetus growing inside of her.

A few weeks later it eased up a little but did not stop. She was still going to the hospital once every few days getting hydrated through an IV because really, her body is not dealing with this at all.

A while later when she was 4-5 months along, she began noticing some spotting. Dorian called the doctor and got them seen almost immediately. Things were okay, they’re baby is doing fine but from that moment on Manon was put on strict bed rest until her daughter was born.

At around the sixth-month mark, Manon was so over being pregnant. "Hate to break it to you, witchling, but you still have three more months to go," Dorian got kicked out of the room that night for his smart remark. But she called him back later on because she was lonely and by that point, she wasn't used to going to sleep without him being there.

It seems that all of her biology lessons in school have evaporated. And she was horrified at finding out some things she was certain she'd remember if she had actually studied them. She honestly didn’t think of what the difference is between giving birth and having a c-section in her mind she was just ‘a baby gets born’ without thinking how that would actually happen (Asterin was the unfortunate soul that discovered this and had to explain it)

'It's not too late to back out from this now, is it?' Asterin only rolled her eyes at her because yeah sure, by all means just stop being pregnant.

Newfound information aside, nothing actually prepared Manon for the grand finale: almost four days of (slow labor) and a little over 30 hours of active labor was all it took for her daughter to be born.

Manon, bless her soul, right in the middle of active labor, (literally her baby is only a few hours away from being born) realized one thing: she wasn’t her ready to become a mother.

The notion terrified her, and she seemed to realize it all of the sudden. She confidently thought that she can stop or try again later (???) but that wasn’t possible for obvious reasons. She wasn’t in pain (thanks to the epidural) but she was terrified. That is something she doesn’t know how to navigate and she was just panicking. She did end up having a panic attack and yeah imagine going through that while giving birth. (She really wasn’t having a good time)

Dorian was right next to her, his presence steadied her somewhat and after a WHILE she finally started listening to him and calmed down enough to focus on the main task.

Honestly the sudden cries kinda distracted her then she realized that her daughter is actually born and it took her a minute to fully realize that it’s all over.

Honestly, she'd rate the experience -10/10 even though her little baby girl is so worth it. She was born a little early (3-4 weeks, nothing too major) and she might have taken over 30 hours but she was out at last.

She won't do this again willingly though. Never.

Manon's both in awe and lowkey wonders of Aelin and Asterin are okay in the head. Her cousin went though this twice (willingly) and Aelin has like four children and Manon just cannot comprehend this.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

There are some jawless corpses somewhere in a recycling factory beneath Battery City who really really hate Fun Ghoul, but at least he mostly knows how to responisbly use explosives nowadays!..Mostly...

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Part 1 , Part 3

Cale sits on Alberu’s bed.

This… feeling, of his memories and feelings all contradicting. It’s a little disorienting.

His hands are dirty, but he knows they’re clean. He could lay down and roll around on the princes bed, but his memories show a blatant disregard for what the prince thinks about what he does, yet he knows that he has respected and cared about the prince for a long time-

So what is it? Does Cale secretly respect him? Is his disregard an act? No, it’s not. Disrespect is… a way to show respect? To hide his respect?

Cale develops a headache. There’s a lot of new information in his mind, rolling around like a thunderstorm, and it’s really starting to hurt.

His hand caresses the side of his head, and he aims his face into his lap, a frown forming. It… hurts.

It hurts.

Hopelessness drags on his new and good emotions. It hurts. He- he hates pain. His hands tremble.

Alberu watches Cale, unsure what could’ve happened to cause him to start crying. With a shaky mind, Alberu walks over to the frozen child sitting on his bed, making extra sure that his footsteps create noise. God, scaring a child? Scaring Cale? That would be a nightmare. He wouldn’t know how to handle it at all.

Despite Alberu’s desperate wishes, Cale is deep in his subconscious, overwhelmed by a self-induced headache.

So when Alberu reaches over for the boys shoulder (like how Cale would comfort everyone), Cale flinches. Hard. He throws his body to the side of the bed and pulls his arms up to his chest, staring up at Alberu’s figure.

Now, the Prince isn’t stupid. He knows what a flinch means, what it implies. Then why- he fumes- why is Cale of all people showing these responses? How bad did he have it in Korea?

So, while Cale lies on the bed and stares, Alberu decides that he’s too tired to deal with this. This is incredibly annoying. This is- fucking depressing. He hasn’t slept for two days and suddenly being forced into babysitting duty is grating on his nerves.

He walks away to order the nearest servant to deliver cookies to his room, while he starts to brew tea. When the boy on the bed has a clear head and Alberu has some more strength, he’ll consider asking what’s wrong.

Bringing the tea over to the bed, Cale stares at the cups.

“Dongsaeng?” Alberu sits on the bed next to Cale, who stops laying down. “Do you like sweet tea still, even when you’re like this?”

Cale pinches his lips together. Forgoing a verbal response, he nods his head to the question and starts to reach out.

‘Dirty’

‘Careless’

‘Irresponsible’

His hand freezes, and goes through a dozen calculations. Should he ask to grab the cup? He wouldn’t normally do that, no. Should he act more like an ignorant child, not as mature as he feels? Should he ask what he should do?-

Alberu watches the emotions that flit across the young face. They are all incredibly subtle, as if he’s used to being so insecure but hiding it underneath a layer of confidence. Alberu relates to it on an uncomfortable level.

He almost expects the kid to ask if he should take the cup, but Cale firms up his face and decides to disrespect the Crown Prince anyway by grabbing the cup and taking a big sip of it.

Good, Cale reasons, looking at Alberu’s face. He’s not mad, like he predicted. He’s learning the limits of the people he trusts because, while he’s in this different body and has this smaller mind, people will react unpredictably. Anticipate violence, prepare for rejection, and accept whatever he can get his hands on. His old lessons from when he was a kid float into his mind, and they provide a comfort that none of his older memories have given him yet.

They sit in silence, sipping on tea and observing each other. The other children are disturbingly quiet, but they aren’t crying or angry. They’re just… watching. Raon seems to be the most restless, while On and Hong wait from a distance.

Those three children recognize the signs of abuse the most. Ever since he opened his eyes, they could see it all. The hesitation. The fake confidence. The awkward tense-relax-tense game that Cale is playing in his mind. Like he’s trying to convince himself that he’s in a safe place, but it’s so hard to believe that he instinctively goes back to base one whenever he succeeds.

They’re going to launch their ‘attack’ in a few minutes, but only after cookies. A servant quietly brings in a tray, keeping her eyes very specifically on the desk she needs to leave it on. Raon still turns him and the kittens invisible for the brief time she’s there, but she looked so focused that she probably wouldn’t have seen them had they been sitting right next to the crown Prince. On applauds her in her mind.

Cale keeps his mouth shut. The last thing he should do right now is talk. He knows when he isn’t welcome, and while the (fond?) exasperation from the prince is not quite the same as Cale is used to, it’s close enough. He plans to stay quiet and do nothing. It’s dangerous to think about anything else.

What if he ruins his companionship with Alberu forever? That would be- bad. For when he’s able to be big again, of course. It would be… what’s the word?

Inconvenient.

Cale doesn’t feel 7 years old anymore. His mind has been growing, in a weird way. Like he’s subconsciously fighting against the curse by maturing his mind at a faster rate. He can think a little more clearly, analyze a little more precisely.

He finishes his tea and puts it down. He’s tired.

‘Dirty’

‘Disgusting’

‘Filthy’

He looks down at his hands. He turns his palm over, examining it. He sighs in relief. Clean. He’s clean right now.

He’s startled by a red ball of fur pressing its face into his open palm.

“Hong?” His voice is soft, open just like his palm.

Hong purrs, and Cale falls for the distraction. He sets out to pet the kitten who is so innocently asking for them.

All of a sudden he hears Alberu shout from his side and a flash of black streaks across his vision. He looks up, but then On has transformed into her human form and the 12 year old body is stronger than it should be, with how easily she grabs the 7 year old and throws him by the pillows.

Cale barely finishes bouncing from being thrown when he gets crushed by Raon.

“Human!”

Cale opens his eyes and looks up at the blue eyes peering down into his soul. “Raon…”

Raon cuts him off, resting part of his weight on Cale.

“We’re having naptime! Majority vote! You have to sleep, human!”

Cale frowned. He hadn’t had any cookies yet.

Raon interprets him wrong, and suddenly Cale is being thrust into Alberu’s arms. “Adults are always the best at cuddling! We’re leaving you to our most experienced member so you get the full package! Alberu, don’t let Cale go.” His words leave a chill in Cale’s body, and he resists the urge to shudder.

Then he realizes that Alberu’s arms had really tightened around him. Cale squirms, because, what? Why can’t he just cuddle with the kids?

The answer becomes abruptly clear. Cale, smooshed against Alberu’s chest, surrounded by two human cats and a dragon who insisted that he lay on top of the pile- discovers that, while Raon could use magic to restrain him, the human with long arms is just more effective at restraining people comfortably.

Cale pouts. He didn’t get any cookies.

Ron, Beacrox, and Choi Han arrive at the princes room. Ron was worried about him, while Choi Han was concerned that he wasn’t adjusting well. Does he feel safe? Has he eaten? Is the fact that they aren’t in Korea making it difficult? Meanwhile, Beacrox is just angry at a lot of things right now.

They found the demonic worshipper, but after torturing information out of him, they realized that Cale is in the Demonic God’s hands now. Killing the demonic worshipper doesn’t even break the curse.

They had run into Bud and Glenn while investigating, naturally. The merchant king had offered all of his resources to track down the culprit, which helped somewhat in finding him. Glenn offered them a quick teleport back to the palace, and they accepted.

“Young master-“

“Cale-nim!-“

“My friend! Sob!- um?”

Ron, Choi Han, and Bud speak all at the same time. They all pause however, at the sight of Raon glaring at them intensely. A transparent black shield covers a lump of bodies, and Glenn recognizes it as a soundproofing spell. He gets goosebumps at the mana swirling around the rest of the room dangerously.

Choi Han felt stunned. It has been a long while since Raon pointed his wrath at anyone in their family. What happened?

Ron then smiles, a chill covering the room instantly. “What are you covering, little dragon?”

Raon uncharacteristically stays silent. He looks like a real dragon at this moment, all cold glares while he drapes himself over his hoard.

Then Choi Han puts the dots together. The Crown Prince is missing, documents unfinished. The kittens can be vaguely seen on the side of the pile that Raon is laying on, and if he’s correct-

Cale is in the center.

Choi Han’s eyes sparkle at the opportunity in front of him. Bud takes a careful step away from him, but he’s not paying attention to that.

Choi Han loves small cute things. What’s more cute than a bunch of his favorite, small cute people (minus Alberu, who isn’t small, that he suspects is in the back) in a big cuddly pile?

Cale murmurs in his sleep, feeling an icy chill on the back of his neck. Someone’s plotting against him.

He becomes unsettled, pushing lightly against Alberu’s arms in protest to the sensation. Alberu, who has fallen into an incredibly deep sleep, just tightens his arms. Cale decides to ignore the feeling, after getting that slight ‘scolding.’

His mind, which had become around 9-10 in the short time that he had been thinking intensely, quiets. He allows himself to be comforted, and doesn’t notice the way his mind falls into that of a 8 year old during this nap.

He breathes softly, falls deeper into his sleep, and can’t feel the curse settle over his mind.

Choi Han fails in his attempts to sway the dragon to let him see. Raon, smarter than your average 6 year old, understands what Choi Han wants and what Cale wants, and that Cale should get what he wants right now. Privacy. Raon becomes even more determined to protect Cale while he’s in this younger state.

He’s vulnerable.

The dragon in him growls at this. Everyone in this pile has been abused. He doesn’t know much about Alberu, but he saw the understanding glint in his eyes, so Raon determines that the Crown Prince is also under his protection.

Do the people outside their bubble understand that? Do they think that his human just happened to land in the middle of the pile, blocked from the world’s eye?

Raon huffs at Choi Han’s antics, ignores Ron’s vague threat, and summons a second shield over the soundproof one, this one solid and not transparent.

The human told Raon that it’s okay to be selfish. He wants to hold their little group closer right now, and he doesn’t want to share.

Cale flinches in his new, deep sleep. Raon lays his head back down on the pile, using magic to keep his human the perfect napping temperature.

He curses that he can’t do more right now.

[pepperpixel]

Some art of Tori from @misfitmccoward ‘s Naruto fic Plasticity! Because!! It’s such a good fucking fic…! I had to do fanart for it!! honestly after I first read it I was so fucking hype about it that I was almost like “omg.. I have to do an animatic or something for this. it’s SO GOOD” but. My ability to do animatics has kinda flushed down the drain recently ghghg- But! Still!! I had to at least draw some fanart for it…!

[morningmask27]

Tonight, right now, not even ten minutes ago, might have been the closest I got to an outright hatecrime

[bitletsanddrabbles]

The Gilded Age Season 1 Released

My Dashboard: Look at these dresses! I mean, seriously! The dresses! Check! Them! Out!

Me: Mmm, yes, those certainly are some nice dresses. Not gonna lie.

The Gilded Age Season 2 Released

My Dashboard: Look at these guys kissing! That is some hot smoochin' going on!

Me: Wait, it took until Season 2 to get a gay guy into the narrative? Really? Dang, Julian's moving slower than usual.

I Finally Start Watching The Gilded Age*

Me: ....okay, no. My dashboard is moving slower than usual! WTF, why did it take me this long to know about this?

*no, I did not start watching it for this reason. I've always wanted to see it. I just really hate streaming services and have problems watching things on my own. Mum's watching it with me.

[limielle]

"why do u never draw byleth smiling" bc they do not smile in my head

[corvid-language-library]

So I STILL have a sore throat, and now I've got some weird mouth ulcer thing too? Looked it up online and it doesn't match any of the varying descriptions of mouth ulcers. Swallowing is hard and painful too. Figured it's time to go to a doctor about it... except the doctor's isn't open today because it's a public holiday 🤡 Just hoping it doesn't get any worse and I can go tomorrow.

[inferno-ontherocks]

Trying to find a 911 clip so I'm watching back 4x04 and I must have just really not wanted to think of this every other time I've watched but I just died when Maddie is looking through her baby box:

Maddie: I can't believe you kept all this.

Phillip: You thought we'd throw it away??

Right in front of Buck, whose baby stuff you've CLEARLY THROWN AWAY.

I hate the Buckley parents. Again.

[prismaticutie]

I've been watching a lot of Omega Strikers guide videos lately and the one thing all of them have in common is that every single one of them highlights the importance of "just have fun".

That's something people say all the time, about any game. But there was one guide I watched yesterday, and in addition to giving that tip, also mentioned the importance of not being toxic and blaming your losses on your teammates.

This is genuinely the most helpful tip of all time. Like this guide really grilled into me just how horrible having that toxic mentality is. The full first minute of the video was dedicated to that. He also talked about how being toxic and playing w that mentality actively makes you worse at the game, period. Full stop. And he explained the reasoning for that as well.

I've heard this said and yeah I believe it as well, but this was the first time I'd ever had it thoroughly explained to me. It really put things into perspective for me.

Hoping I can improve at both Omega Strikers and Splatoon by keeping this in mind 👍

[reginrokkr]

Jing Yuan, sir, would you be able to stop talking about Luocha even if one second? Actually, don't. Spill more beans about him—