#defending canon when discussing canon is fine but not when it’s someone’s else space.

[fic-dumpster]

Friendly reminder that canon can be thrown out of the window when it comes to fanfiction, selfships, roleplay and headcanons ✌🏻

[inkblackorchid]

Hi ,I love your writing and the way you write Yusei ,Aki and Faithshipping overall ! Would it be okay to ask for some Faithshipping headcanons ?

Also ,wanted to ask if there will be any new fic for Faithshipping in the future :)

Thank you so much! And absolutely, faithshipping hc requests are always welcome! <3

At some point after the DS arc (probably in order to take on repair jobs that pay decently), Yusei got himself a diploma to the equivalent of a high school graduation certificate. Aki helped him lots while he was studying for it, because there are a lot of subjects he never interacted much with when growing up in Satellite.

Aki and Yusei's relationship, once it becomes official, ends up suffering from something like the Tony Hawk effect—it's technically an open secret and many people outside the signer group (like Aki's classmates) know about it. Yet, more often than not, they still catch people off guard with the fact that they are, in fact, a couple. (This is absolutely based off @sojourner-between-worlds' hc that Yusei, post-canon, when he's a guy trying to lead a normal work life, also gets Tony-Hawk-ed a lot.)

Having never really spent much time dating before they met—Yusei because old Satellite wasn't exactly a dating hotspot and Aki because she was too scared to grow close to people and people too scared to grow close to her—Yusei and Aki both don't really know how the "dating" thing works. Sometimes, they'll manage to go on stereotypically romantic dates (and sometimes, Aki enjoys that more than anyone could get her to admit), but much of the time, they just do whatever comes to mind and call it a "date". They don't care what they're doing, they care that they do it together.

On occasion, when the opportunity presents itself, Yusei likes brushing Aki's hair. It's soft, he loves the colour, and she always looks very calm when he does it. It's something they indulge in behind closed doors.

Sometimes, when it's late and they have nothing better to do, they watch the duel channel together. Unbeknownst to their friends, their discussions about people's card plays can get downright philosophical, because at the end of the day, they're both passionate about duelling. (And really freaking good at it.)

Before Yusei, Aki didn't think she would ever be comfortable sharing anything than a double bed with someone else, because she needed her space. As it turns out, it works just fine with him.

Yusei generally isn't one for opening up about his fears or bad experiences in the past much, but when he's sleepy or when things weigh a bit too much on him, Aki's the only one he manages to open up to. They have a mutual understanding between them that whatever they share, it might be met with concern, with care, with sadness, but never with judgement.

Yusei is the first person to make Aki feel any semblance of actual pride about her powers. Divine tried, but ultimately still worshipped them for their destruction, which she hated. But Yusei regards the things she can do when she's not lashing out in anger with something like quiet awe, and it makes her melt, because that, more than anything else, is proof that he doesn't and could never see her as a monster.

Aki is the only one besides Yusei himself who's allowed to drive the Yusei-Go. Even Jack and Crow aren't, unless it's a dire emergency.

Aki never really warms up to the idea of modifying or repairing her runner herself, per se, but she likes watching Yusei do it—and manages to pick up on more mechanical stuff than she thinks along the way.

If somebody is rude to or insults Aki within Yusei's earshot for any reason, he absolutely stands his ground and defends her. If anyone is rude to or insults Yusei within Aki's earshot for any reason, that person had better run.

Also, to answer your final question, there will absolutely be more faithshipping from my side in the future! It features heavily several times in the WIP fic already—it's just that the WIP is sooo long and not even done yet, haha.

[nevertheless-moving]

Sith Padme AU Part 2

continued from here

Padme and Anakin both viscerally sense the death of tens of thousands of Jedi and the rise of the dark side. Anakin, tormented by guilt over abandoning the jedi in their greatest hour of need and also insanely sleep-deprived, passes out. Padme goes into labor, for real. As far as Anakin can tell when he wakes up, the twins are the only spots of light in the galaxy.

As referenced earlier, the councilors cease their chase of Palpatine upon activation of Order 66, retreating to the temple to defend the younglings. A few desperate and deeply tragic “I’ll hold them off” moments as the top Jedi fighters hold off hundreds of brainwashed clones so children can escape.So while those out in the field are still lost (with the exception of Yoda and Obi-Wan, as per canon) the very young and a few of the very old manage to escape the total genocide. That’s...better than canon, at least. Right? 

Padme’s maternity leave is immediately interrupted by non-stop emails from her evil boss.

Palpatine: WHere R U TWO?? Padme: Um, labor? Babies were your idea, Master, remember? Palpatine: Seriously? you couldn’t have held it in? Padme: ... Padme: [ATTACHED IMAGE]

Palpatine: Ugh. Nevermind, fine. Why did Vader have to be there? Padme: He seemed convinced I was going to die in childbirth for some reason? Palpatine: Weird. Padme: Yeah. Weird. Palpatine: Hey, Is he fallen yet? Padme: Nope! he’s holding our children and crying. Palpatine: UGH. Palpatine: Look, the Separatists are all on Mustafar— Padme: I’ve got it. Palpatine: Sure you’re not too fragile? Padme: Never better. Sure you’re not too frail? Palpatine: Prime of my life. Padme: Great. Palpatine: Wonderful.

Padme leaves Anakin to safeguard the twins, saying ‘she has to do her duty’ but someone has to watch the babies. He is very distraught over her leaving, but she doesn’t really leave it open to discussion, and when vulnerable, Anakin falls back on some...subservient behaviors (intentionally cultivated in a rather yikes sort of way). She slaughters the Separatist Council (no tears there). Yoda and Obi-Wan rendezvous with the survivors on Coruscant. No-one knows where Anakin is, though they guess bleakly (and correctly!) that another Sith must have gotten their hands on him, because force knows there aren’t enough Sith!! The Jedi sense...something bright on Naboo. Obi-Wan and Bail take charge of getting the temple evacuees off world.

In a duel far more epic thank I can describe here, Yoda and Windu manage to kill Sidious. They are attempting to explain what actually happened to a very frightened Senate while still fending off murderous clones when Padme shows up. She loudly declares Palpatine a martyr, reaffirming that Jedi traitors and murderers. In the force, she lets her sith side show. The two weary Jedi raise their sabers. Which...does not look good.

Mace, surrounded by innocent civilians and brainwashed clones, baying for his blood, just barely manages to escape (what else can he do? he’s too tired to fight another battle and he has no desire to go to war with the republic. 

he’s so tired). 

Padme picks up one of Palpatine’s sabers to fend Yoda off. And that is the image that goes on all the space stamps and space murals and space art deco space friezes. The beautiful queen (symbol of the glorious new empire), picking up a sword to avenge the fallen Chancellor (symbol of the weakened republic) and slay the evil Jedi (symbol of the evil Jedi).

Padme doesn’t even have to declare herself Empress��she has people to do that for her.

Obi-Wan and Anakin see this on the space news. Anakin is bewildered—because sure she killed Master Yoda and maybe she knew that Palpatine was a sith but didn’t tell anyone and yeah she said the Jedi got what they deserved and her eyes flashed gold but she can’t be a Sith. She can’t be! Obi-Wan is distraught—because if Padme is a Sith, than that casts Anakin’s attachment to her and his disappearance in a far more sinister light.

They both head to Coruscant.

Obi-Wan gets there first.

Anakin is well past checking his messages at this point; the Empress fortunately informed the guard that if this specific Jedi shows up (possibly with babies), let him through immediately, he’s not a threat, do not attack. Unfortunately for her, some of the guard is comprised of the 501st. When Anakin questions them urgently he is cheerfully informed about the attack on the temple and...his 501st wouldn’t do that, so he’s got that rattling around his brain now.

Anakin is having a very bad time, and it’s about to get worse.

When he enters Padme’s chambers in the former-temple new-palace, Padme and Obi-Wan are locked in combat. As if things weren’t awful enough already, Padme and Obi-Wan are trying to kill each other!

Obi-Wan: Anakin! You’re alive! Padme: My love! You’re here! Anakin:  Anakin: “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON” Obi-Wan: “Where have you been? Nevermind, it doesn’t matter. I thought Padme killed you! Padme: “I would never. Anakin, come, join me! Together, we can rule the galaxy!” Anakin: Anakin: “WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON”

[hayleysayshay]

Kuvira fans must understand that "Kuvira is not correct, and her portrayal as a fascist leader isn’t unrealistic or exaggerated, i’m sorry if people can’t imagine a dictator offering good things and bad things at the same time". like people can like Kuvira all they want, she an interesting character but stop using the excuse that she had gOod InTeNtIoNs, fascism is fascism no matter what the reason for becoming one. Kuvira took advantage of the problems of EK to gain power and control EK at will. she committed a massacre with her robot destroying almost the entire city. (Kuvira only gave up and apologized because Korra stopped her and had no other choice, Kuvira told korra her sad story so that Korra would feel sorry for her).

CONTENT WARNING: This does contain a discussion about concentration camps, Nazis and war crimes. I only use this to explain my position and argue against arguments I have seen.

I think to a certain extent people just like Kuvira and want to defend her because they find her interesting. And I do try and not moralise on people’s choices and characters.

What I do find annoying is the dismissal of legit fair comparisons between fascism and Kuvira’s regime. It’s fair to call Kuvira’s regime fascistic.

I find most of the discourse is around Kuvira’s re-education camps, and whether or not it’s fair to label them concentration camps and say this is inherently fascistic.

People really twist themselves into knots to stop people labelling Kuvira’s actions as fascistic, and this is what I’ve had the greatest annoyance with. I have seen the most discourse with regards to Kuvira’s re-education camps and the use of the term concentration camps. I have written a reply once, but I did delete it as engaging in a discussion directly can perhaps be more pain than it’s worth.

I have seen someone say that it’s not right to call Kuvira’s regime as fascistic as concentration camps are linked to the N@zi regime, and I’ve seen someone else say, and this is of course paraphrasing, ‘they’re similar to camps that America has used so Kuvira can’t be bad’ like...., you think this is a defence for Kuvira and not an indictment of the USA? It isn’t really an argument that Kuvira isn’t bad.

The problem with some of the arguments is that it’s bad history. The concentration camp system in N@zi Germany was never only specific to that period of history. Concentration camps are not specific to one regime. They were started by the British in the Boer war, used by the Americans against Japanese Americans, and are used to describe the Uighur camps in China. There is no universally agreed definition of when a prison becomes a concentration camp, and if there is any difference between a concentration/internment/re-education camp, and what exactly these definitions are.

So no, concentration camps are not unique to fascist regimes, but it is fair to call what we hear of in the legend of korra concentration camps, in all definitions of the term. We can discuss whether or not it’s appropriate to throw out that term ‘concentration camp’ a potentially triggering and highly emotive term in a discussion about a fictional character in fandom spaces, but I don’t think that means the person originally using the term is using the term incorrectly. Kuvira uses these camps to punish people who are bandits (not inherently fascistic), threatens to send people who disagree with her to one (Bolin) so she uses them against political opponents, and then is said by a character that she’s putting bending minorities in them. By all definitions, this is mass internment, these are concentration camps. These camps are used in fascistic regimes. If the shoe fits...

(I do dislike people calling Kuvira a N@zi, that is an ideology that is tied to one specific regime that Kuvira does not have, fascist is a broader term and can be used in different contexts other than N@zi Germany).

No, we don’t know Kuvira’s exact ideology. It is vague. This is a kids show with a million other things happening. We don’t know exactly why or how she motivated herself to do the things she did. Maybe Kuvira did really intend to give up power after consolidating the Earth Empire’s rule including the United Republic. She literally says she thinks she’s better than Wu at the coronation but who knows, but maybe she just hated the monarchy. But this fan speculation. This is not canon.

What is canon:

- Kuvira named her regime the Earth Empire. Pretty imperialistic.

- Kuvira’s goals are achieved primarily through the use of an army. Pretty militaristic.

- Kuvira used her army to conquer states, even states that were unwilling (the state she conquers in the first episode) or completely stable and didn’t need any help to begin with (Zaofu).

- Kuvira expresses an interest and then attempts to conquer the United Republic, a nation state that has been independent for decades, because it was formerly of the Earth Kingdom.

- Kuvira uses a wide range of re-education camps to intern and punish prisoners who commit crimes, oppose her policies, or are bending minorities.

- The Earth Empire uses green, clean uniforms that evoke N@zi uniforms. There is a railway gun clearly inspired by a N@zi railway gun. The creators are intentionally using fascistic imagery to evoke certain feelings.

Kuvira may just be a ‘generic military dictator’ and she might not be truly ‘fascist’ but it’s not incorrect for any viewer to look at the canon events above and conclude she is a fascist. But the main argument against these is either some weird twisting of real history (by dragging in the definitions of concentration camps and fascism) or just saying ‘she had good intentions so can’t be a fascist.’ These arguments never prove anything, they usually just use specific events from history and pretend that these events correlate to general uses of these terms.

Now, if someone really likes Kuvira and wants to redeem her, then fine, I understand, I just wish they would acknowledge that the fascistic points of contention are not inaccurate, and a completely fair reading of the legend of Korra, and saying that ‘she had good intentions’ doesn’t change anything for anyone. I don’t care about her intentions in the past, I’m looking at her actions in the show. I do believe that Kuvira probably did have good intentions setting off. She probably doesn’t consider herself as a bad guy. But it’s fine for people to dislike Kuvira and consider her a fascist. They are not wrong.

I think it’s fine for people to want to redeem this fictional character. People can find characters darker motivations interesting and engaging. This isn’t the same as redeeming real life people who commit war crimes. It’s an interesting story. If the person writing this post or fic does not consider Kuvira a fascist than fine, but that is not anymore canon that Kuvira being a fascist and does not invalidate.

But ‘she isn’t a fascist because she had good intentions’ is just shallow and unconvincing and missing the point. And then falling back onto historical arguments does not prove that Kuvira is not a fascist either. Kuvira’s actions do not exist in a vacuum, they are inspired and pulled from history, and history is also not so exact and precise that it means that Kuvira cannot be labelled as a fascist.

I think I’m approaching this at a slightly different angle from you but I broadly agree- I don’t necessarily think people have to think Kuvira is a fascist, but they shouldn’t get into over long discussions of what is and what isn’t fascism to defend themselves. They’re seeking to define terms that have always been used in circumstances other than WWII. Please just own what you like.

[supermanshield]

Started this a couple months ago, finished it in home isolation. Superbat, 3k words.

Summary: The Justice League decides it's time to get to know each other out of costume. Some people are less happy with this than others, but eventually even Batman agrees.

Note: This doesn't comply with any canon, because I made my own. I even have a timeline and everything.

AO3 Link

----------------

“If that is all, I would like to hereby close this meeting,” Superman said.

“Superman, I would like to have a word with everyone.”

“You had your chance, Diana. Meeting’s over,” Batman interjected while getting up from his seat.

“This doesn’t concern League matters, Batman. Barry and I have been talking, and we think it beneficial to share more time together. As friends.”

Barry looked at Batman narrowing his eyes while gripping his chair. He cleared his throat. “Yes. Uhh… It would be good for the team to see each other out of costume, like a dinner party, picnic or game night. Just something not trauma or crisis related.”

“Oh, but game night would end in massive trauma for all of you,” Dinah interjected, laughing. Before Barry could continue his invitation, Batman growled, “And a picnic would end in crisis, so if that’s all, I’ll be on my way.”

“Batman, wait,” Diana started. “On Themyscira, my warrior sisters and I would often spend time together in the bathhouses after training.”

“Now that’s a reason to visit Themyscira. Ow!” Dinah elbowed Oliver in the ribs. Diana shot him a glare, “It also helps with team-building and finding mutual respect for each other.”

Barry was about to consider his efforts a lost cause when Superman came to the rescue. “I think it’s a great idea! It would be nice to get to know each other better outside of hero business. What do you think, Batman?”

“It’s a waste of time. Everyone’s busy enough as it is.” This was it. Lost cause. No approval from Batman meant no picnic. “…But if you really must, you can organize it without me.” With a swoosh of his cape, Batman stalked out of the room.

“His loss. More food for us, right buddy,” Hal laughed while elbowing Barry. “Exactly! Let’s try to come up with an activity and set a date.” It would be fine without Bruce; he would just bring down the mood anyway. Although his manor was probably the most suitable and private location, so now they would have to figure out an alternative.

----------------

As Superman floated into the Batcave later that night, the computers were whirring, Bruce typing quietly. The past couple of weeks had been good to them. No intergalactic missions, no supervillains breaking out. To be honest, there hadn’t been that many league missions at all, which was a good thing. Clark had been able to catch up at work, Bruce had had time to work on new gadgets and actually attend meetings at WE on time for once. They were still busy, still patrolled their own cities and Clark did a sweep around the globe once a day, but life was almost… normal.

When Clark got close to Bruce, he didn’t even look up from his work. Yet somehow, he still heard Clark’s unasked question in the silence.

“They’re right you know, it’s been scientifically proven that teams are more efficient if the members get together outside of work. It helps with trust and communication.”

“So…? Why don’t you want to get together?”

“…I was thinking about proposing something like this myself.”

Clark smiled. “Looks like they beat you to it, then. So… does this mean -“

“That’s not what I was saying, Clark. I don’t need any more prying eyes into my life. Our lives.”

“Just humour them, Bruce. You know they’d want to do it here.”

“Which is exactly what I don’t want. More chaos in this house.” Bruce rubbed his temple.

“Like you would notice any more people or accidents between the kids and the pets.”

A sigh. “I just don’t need to share every part of my life with them. It’s unnecessary.”

Bruce was making lame excuses, trying to discard the scientific proof he’d found. Which of course he couldn’t ignore. But Clark knew him. He had one last trick up his sleeve. “All right. If you don’t want to do it for them, then do it for me? Maybe I want to share my life with my friends.” He looked into Bruce’s eyes with the brightest smile he could muster in the faint lights of the computer screens. Bruce looked down, thinking. After what seemed like an eternity of Bruce probably going through every scenario about the get-together in his mind, he finally looked up at Clark again.

“Hmph. Fine. But,” Bruce said while holding up a finger, holding off the incoming hug, “on one condition. Not here. At Oliver’s.” Then Clark hugged him.

----------------

On Sunday afternoon, Dinah was in the kitchen putting the last of the sauces and dips together. She put everything on a big tray and carried it outside, where Oliver was just firing up the barbecue. Grilling had been his idea as soon as they had decided to do the party at their house. So now Oliver was juggling spatulas, flipping patties and throwing cheese on them, trying to proof her wrong about not being able to make enough burgers for Flash, Green Lantern and Superman.

Dinah hadn’t been in the League for very long yet, and she hadn’t seen everyone together in civvies before. She wondered if it had ever happened. Barry and Hal were friends and spent time together, and she knew Clark and Bruce hung out. There was proof of that in the news often enough. She wondered how much it was just Clark covering Bruce’s galas and fund-raising events, or a façade to gather intel for joint missions, and how much it was them actually being friends. Diana would spend most of her time she wasn’t needed here, back on Themyscira.

So, it was nice having everyone here together in her garden. It was a warm day, the cool tiles of the kitchen welcoming on her bare feet and when she walked outside with her tray the grass tickled her toes. Today there was no pretending. Even Bruce had showed up and was actually making small talk with Hal. Probably judging Oliver’s barbecue skills together.

“You need help with that, Dinah?” Barry said as he rushed over and made enough space on the table for her tray before she even had time to reply. “Thanks, Barry. I could use some help with the veggies too.” “Oh please, let me help,” Diana said, pointing her thumb back at the guys as she walked over. “They are discussing how to make the best burgers and I have no interest in it.” Dinah laughed. Every time Oliver made burgers, she and him would get into an argument over how to shape the patties for the best flavour. Oliver was very defensive of his rather thick burgers.

Vegetables were cut and then grilled on the barbecue, and Oliver had assembled an impressive stack of burgers. He persisted, and Dinah loved him for it. When everyone joined at the table, they sat at the head end. Dinah stood up and said “Thank you all for coming! I hope you will enjoy your meal and each other’s company, especially after that disastrous camping trip Hal keeps telling me vague stories about,” She winked.

“Ha! As long as this doesn’t include sleep overs or making fire, we should be good,” Hal smirked.

Before Clark could start defending himself, Barry already cut in urging everyone to talk about something else and just eat. So they did. And it went well; there was laughter and conversation, the sun slowly setting in the background. They talked about normal things really, the weather, politics. Hal’s plans for the summer. Clark told them he would go back to the farm at the end of summer to help his mother with the harvest, Barry shared stories about his co-workers at the crime lab. It wasn’t that they avoided talking about league stuff, they just didn’t need to. Dinah looked at Bruce. He’d been silently observing, laughing along with the jokes. Sure, batman cracked a joke occasionally, but to see him genuinely laughing and being himself was different. Yet, it was hard to get a read on the man. Like today, he was clearly enjoying himself, but somehow all of it was still shrouded in secrecy; he didn’t share much. On the direct opposite of that was Clark, a man who shared everything he stood for. Except-

As Clark reached across the table for the ketchup, the sunlight hit it. A silver (or was it white gold?) band around his ring finger. How no one had noticed it so far, she wasn’t sure. But now, it was very clear. Barry was the first to speak. “Oooh, who’s the lucky lady, S?”

Clark was visibly shocked, looked at his ring for a moment as if it hadn’t been there before, then around the table. “Huh? Uhh… oh, it’s not important.” Not important?

“Not important?” Oliver voiced her thoughts. “Someone married Superman, and we didn’t even know about it?”

“Scratch that! Who got to take Superman home is the real question here,” Hal snickered. “Does she know you’re… you know, him?”

“Oh, trust me, they know,” Clark said calmly while putting the bottle of ketchup back.

“So, who is it?” Hal prodded.

“Yes, who Clark?”

“Is it Lois? Have you finally tied the knot?”

“I haven’t been with her for years, Barry.”

“Someone from Smallville then?”

“No.”

“Then who?”

“Tell us Clark. Don’t keep us in suspense!” By now, Clark looked seriously displeased, stammering excuses.

“How did you meet?” Diana tried. Smart move, narrow down the suspects. “Uh… through work?” Clark offered. Great, there must be over a hundred people working at the Daily Planet. That didn’t help. Or it could be someone he’d interviewed, that made the pool of potential Superman spouses even bigger. Discussion broke out, theories being thrown around and the chaos was complete. Everyone, including Dinah herself, was too busy to notice Clark shooting a mortified look at Bruce, who scowled back.

“Enough.” Clark said in a calm Superman voice, making them all quiet down in an instant. “I’m sure we’ll be ready to share it someday. Let’s please just get back to eating now.” His face was stern.

Everyone quieted down, but the atmosphere wasn’t the same. Diana tried to ask Bruce about his charity work and steer the conversation to a more pleasant topic. The air was full of questions and few words were spoken. Oliver suggested they all just clean up and go inside to share a drink and play some darts. “Come on, you and Bruce would win that by a landslide!” Barry protested, but Bruce politely declined and started saying his goodbyes and thanked Dinah and Oliver for dinner. After that, Clark left quickly. Then Hal, Barry, and finally Diana. “I’m sure they will come around eventually, Dinah. Just give them some time.” And flew away after a quick peck on her cheek.

----------------

Over the next month in the watchtower, whispers and guesses about Superman’s secret spouse were going around. They’d stop as soon as Superman walked into the room, which was stupid of course, because he’d probably already heard them. Clark started looking more cheerless every meeting, until by some miracle, the core members of the justice league all got invited to have dinner at Wayne Manor. Bruce had apologized to Dinah for how the barbecue had ended, and to everyone’s shock proposed a new get-together. So now she and Ollie were pulling up on the driveway to a massive mansion atop a hill in Gotham city. Oliver had been there before, but she had never seen it, aside from pictures. It was intimidating. “I thought we had a pretty big villa…” She whispered to Oliver. He smiled. “Just remember to close your mouth when you see the great hall, babe.”

As they were making their way up the stone stairs to the front door, it was opened by Clark. “Hey guys, welcome! Come in, come in,” he said, reaching out his hands to them. He was wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt, no glasses. Inside, he took their coats and put them away in a little room off to the left. Because of course, the hallway closet was just a separate room. Despite what Oliver had said, Dinah was in awe. The entrance hall opened up to reveal a two-story room, complete with chandeliers, two winding stairs going up to a balcony, and actual armour displays.

“I know, I was kind of starstruck too, the first time I came here,” Clark appeared at her side. At that moment, Bruce appeared from a room behind the grand staircase. He was wearing a turtleneck and slacks. He shook Oliver’s hands, kissed Dinah on the cheek. “Welcome, welcome, do you want a drink? Let’s go to the study.”

“Where are all your kids, Bruce? I half expected an ambush here.”

“Not here, thank god.”

“I’ll be in the kitchen helping Alfred.” Clark declared and disappeared down a hallway.

“How many do you have now, anyway?” Oliver asked.

“Too many- Maybe you can make your burgers for all of them some time,” Bruce teased Oliver.

“Shouldn’t you be the one helping in the kitchen?”

Bruce stared blankly at Dinah. “I haven’t been allowed in there all day.”

Bruce showed them to the study, where they sat down on some very comfortable couches, and poured them some drinks. Soon, the rest of the league arrived. Dinah made her way around the study, inspecting the massive bookcases, until she found the music section. She wondered if there was a library with even more books.

“Oh Bruce, please tell me you have a music room.” This many pieces of sheet music, someone in this house had to be talented. And Bruce would have the means to have a full-blown orchestra hidden somewhere. She picked up a book about saxophones and sat down at the desk. “We do, actually. Damian likes to play a lot.” So Bruce’s youngest was the talent. She didn’t know much about him besides that he was the current Robin. “Ok, you’re going to have to show me that after dinner.”

She flipped open the book, Top tones for Saxophone, and read something about note placement. And then she saw it. Bruce’s desk was large, mahogany, and very organised. There was a laptop – closed, an expensive looking pen set, some paperwork, and glasses. But there were more personal items too, photos. The picture frames were facing Dinah, so the rest of the group couldn’t see them from where they were sitting on the couches. There was a picture of Kara and two other girls, one blonde and one black haired. One with the four Wayne boys, she knew them – had even worked with Red Hood once, and many times with Red Robin – but out of costume they were hard to tell apart. Then there was a picture of a bunch of teens and Alfred with a mickey hat at Disneyland, castle in the background. She knew Bruce was protective of his sidekicks and partners, but never knew they were such a normal… family. So, all of this was a slight surprise, but manageable. At the last picture however, her mind simply stopped. And started up again. And then a lot of things started making sense. Because that was Clark. And Bruce. Their hands on each other’s arms. Clark was smiling at whoever took the picture, and Bruce was looking at Clark in a way Dinah had never seen on Batman. Love.

In the middle of the room, Oliver was telling everyone a story about Kite-man. Hal was picking away tears at the corners of his eyes and Barry was slapping his thighs with laughter. Even Diana was laughing along. Dinah looked at Bruce. Clark had greeted them at the door. Bruce had said ‘we do’ when Dinah asked about the music room. He’d been very quiet last month when they were making fun of Clark’s secret marriage. He was the one that apologized for how the barbecue had ended, even though he had nothing to do with it. But apparently, he had everything to do with it.

While her mind was racing through all this at a 100 miles per hour, Bruce caught her eye, winked, and raised his glass at her. On his ring finger, a white golden band.

As if on cue, Clark then came in the room to tell everyone the starter course was ready to be served. Everyone made their way out of the study towards the dining room and took a seat.

At dinner, they were joined by Alfred, who Dinah had never really met before besides earlier tonight and in the cave downstairs. The table was set decadently, loaded with soup, a stew, bread, vegetables and wine. Bruce was seated at the head of the table, with Clark to his left, and Alfred to his right.

“Oh my, I’m terribly sorry but I seem to have forgotten a ladle for the soup. Excuse me,” Alfred started pushing his chair back, but Clark cut in. “Don’t worry Alfred, I’ll get it.”

When Clark came back with the ladle, he started passing out soup to whoever wanted. It was too easy. Dinah just couldn’t resist saying “So Clark, you know your way around here pretty well it seems.” Clark, ladle halfway towards Barry’s bowl, calmly said “I do, yes. Bruce and I work together a lot and I- “

“Clark.” Bruce cut him off. “She knows.”

“Ah. Hm.” Clark cleared his throat. He had stopped passing out soup and stood up straighter now. Looked at Bruce. “Well, did you want to…?”

“Yes.” Bruce stood up too now.

To her right, Barry leant over and whispered, “What’s happening? What do you know?” Dinah remained silent.

“Um,” Bruce starts. Batman nervous, never thought she’d see that. “Clark and I are both hosting tonight.” Okay… it’s a start. But still-

“What? Clark paid for half of all this food?” Barry wondered out loud. On the other side of the table, Hal was trying hard to contain his laughter.

Diana sighed and put her face in her hand. “Just tell them already.”

What’s going on? Oliver mouthed at Dinah. She shrugged, curious to see how this would play out.

“Superman’s secret spouse. It’s me.” Bruce said curt. And at the same time, “Bruce and I are married.”

Barry’s mouth fell open, Hal finally started laughing but quickly regained control and raised his glass. “Well, congratulations you two!”

“So, to come back to your question from earlier Oliver, we have about 8 now.”

“8 what?” Hal asked, confused.

“Children.” Clark now had his arm around Bruce’s waist, and probably the brightest smile ever on his face.

“Okay, remind me to never babysit here if I need some money.”

Oliver turned to Dinah. “How did you know?” “Figured it out just now. A picture on Bruce’s desk. Very cute by the way.” She smiled. “And he has a wedding ring that matches Clark’s. I don’t think it was that much of a secret.”

To Dinah’s left, Alfred whispered to her, “Mrs. Queen, there are loads more pictures of them. I’ll show you their wedding album after dinner if you are interested.”

Before Bruce could protest, Barry seemed to finally catch up to the situation. “Wait, stop! You’re telling me we missed the wedding of Batman and Superman?! You owe us a do-over.”

Clark laughed at that. “I think it’s time we started dinner. Enjoy!”

----------------

Later that night, Bruce and Clark were seated on one couch in the study, the guests huddled around Alfred with the wedding album on the other. Bruce watched them and couldn’t stop a smile forming around his mouth. Alfred was positively beaming with pride, and the crowd laughed as they were now undoubtedly looking at the cake-cutting pictures. Bruce interlaced his fingers with Clark and leaned into him some more. He felt the other man relax.

“See? Not so bad, was it?” Clark whispered. Bruce hmm-ed back in response.

And indeed, there was something to be said for spending time outside of work with co-workers. With friends.

[touchingoldmagic]

Day 8 - Non-Canon Ship

Day 8 of the 30 Day Ghostbusters Challenge! 

Author’s Note: Ray/Egon and Ray/Egon/Peter. SFW, just angst and cuddling. I might work up the nerve to share my NSFW stuff someday but today is not that day...

With only one light on in the lab and a desk lamp on in the bunk room, the firehouse second floor was dark. Ray lingered in the doorway to the lab, watching the stiff back and squared shoulders of the physicist focused on his work. Or at least, the appearance of working.

Awkwardly, Ray couldn't find the words to disturb him and so he stood there in silence.

On days when he was truly focused, Egon wouldn't notice a nuclear war going on in the next room. Tonight was not one of those nights. Ray had a feeling he knew he was there--they were all hyper aware of each other at the moment. (Even subconsciously Ray knew he was keeping an ear out for when the sound of the shower stopped running.) The silence hanging around the room like an odor existed entirely because both of them were bad with words.

A small screwdriver rolled off the top of the table and Egon didn't even make a grab for it. He did however jump when it hit the ground--Ray did too.

"Egon," he blurted out, like the sound had broken some sort of hold on them. The physicist paused but didn't look up. "Egon," he said again, gaining courage and emphasis. He could tell by the tilt of the man's head that he was listening. "I know the lab is how you decompress. I don't mean to interrupt you. But it's late. And we need to get up early and get to the hospital tomorrow. Will you come to bed?"

Egon finally glanced at him and Ray tried very hard not to look like he was pleading.

"Of course," Egon said stiffly. His glasses had been broken earlier and he was wearing his spares. His face was closed down and carefully controlled, a look he only got when he was really upset. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." Ray's response was immediate. He shifted his weight. "I should be the one apologizing."

"Unfortunate incidents happen in our line of work. A bad bust is not your fault--"

"I need to watch where I'm going. I didn't think, at the time, that I was taking chances but--"

"Raymond."

Ray's mouth closed with an audible click. Egon left his tools on the desk and came over to his partner and teammate. He frowned as he studied Ray's face. Ray knew he was looking at the road rash across his chin and left cheek from where he'd fallen on the concrete basement floor of the old house they had been in earlier in the day. He'd already checked himself out in the mirror; it was very visible and unfortunately in an awkward place for a bandage. It was going to be a painfully visual reminder of the incident for a while.

"It looks worse than it is," Ray promised him, voice low.

Egon nodded. "I wish to point out again that Winston is not seriously injured and is only being kept overnight for observation due to his concussion."

Ray sighed. "I know." The knowledge didn't make it any better.

Egon hesitated, then gestured toward the bunk room and Ray turned and retreated there with relief. After this disaster of a day, his only goal was to make sure everyone was okay and then to (hopefully) sleep.

They changed into their night clothes in silence. Ray glanced anxiously over at the physicist more than once, but Egon's gaze was blank and unreadable.

Ray said quietly, "Are you okay?"

His tone broke through Egon's thoughts and he met Ray's worried gaze with his own, attempting to be reassuring. "I'm not upset." He changed the subject by asking, "Do you wish to push two of the beds together?"

Ray brightened immediately. They still had separate beds, mostly because they all tried to keep a measure of professionalism in their work space. Bad days sometimes made it a hard choice to live with. "If you don't mind," he replied.

"Quite the opposite. I'm also aware in these situations that you sleep poorly if you can't reassure yourself of our presence."

Ray colored with embarrassment. "Well," he said, but then didn't have anything to finish it with.

They pushed two of the beds together and Ray collapsed onto them. Physically, he hurt all over. Mentally his brain wouldn't quiet down, and emotionally he was exhausted. It was going to be a long night.

Egon fussed with the arrangement of the blankets (much to the shorter man's amusement), covering Ray before climbing under them himself. Ray gently stole his glasses and set them on the bedside table, since half the time Egon forgot to take them off when he fell asleep.

As usual Egon slept on his back. Ray curled up against his side, allowing himself to relax a marginal amount with his head resting on the other man's shoulder, listening to the steady heartbeat against his ear, reassuring. The shower was still running. Peter had taken a flung metal bucket to the ribs during the bust. He insisted he was fine, but he was taking a while. Ray wasn't going to sleep until he got out.

Egon could feel the tension that still remained in his body. "Would talking about the matter help with your own decompression?" he asked, reusing the word Ray had used earlier.

A sigh gusted from the engineer's lips. "There's not much to say," he muttered.

"You fell," Egon pointed out. "Thankfully without sustaining serious injury."

Ray winced. He couldn't bring himself to add to Egon's statement, with the memory still so vivid. The bust had taken place at a large old house upstate with multiple ghosts, but the first floor hallway had a trap door, unexpectedly propped open (most likely by one of the specters). Ray had leaped back to dodge an attack, but had instead fallen through the open trap door and down the stairs to the small, cold root cellar.

Quick-thinking, Winston had jumped down after Ray, which meant it was Winston who took a rotting two-by-four to the head trying to defend Ray, while he collected himself and tried to get to his feet. Egon and Peter had followed in time to help with the fight, but the small size of the basement left them little room to dodge, and the litter of old wood and other home debris that had been stored down there, ripe for the flinging, meant it was a very nasty battle. They had all been knocked down and flung around before it was finally over.

Into the silence of the bunk room, Ray finally muttered, "I'm fine with the dangers of the job, Egon, but it's different when someone else gets hurt because I screwed up."

"This is not the first time it's happened," Egon pointed out. They had all had their share of busts gone wrong.

"I know, but it doesn't get any easier."

"This is true." Egon cleared his throat. "Seeing you and Winston disappear... worried me greatly."

"I know. I'm right here." He leaned over and kissed Egon's cheek gently, careful of bruises.

None of them had escaped the house without injuries, though only Winston had to be hospitalized. The first aid kit in Ecto had been enough to patch them up while they waited for the ambulance. Then, after many hours waiting at the hospital just to be told Winston would be kept overnight, they had finally gotten home very late.

"So what were you working on?" Ray asked, hoping for something to discuss that was a little less emotionally harrowing.

Egon was happy to launch into an explanation of his latest experiment, and Ray was happy to have something to fill the silence. Slowly he relaxed further, letting it sink in that everyone was as safe as possible at the moment. Egon's voice was slower and quieter by the time his explanation concluded. Soon his eyes were closed and Ray thought he was probably asleep, though it was hard to tell. The physicist had a very slow, steady breathing rate even when awake.

At one point the sound of the shower stopped and Ray listened intently for several long quiet minutes until it was replaced with the whir of the hair dryer. Ray waited, slipping in and out of light sleep. Finally there was silence and the bathroom door opened. He roused from his light doze at the sound of footsteps approaching his side of the bed.

"We need a bigger bed," Peter announced.

Ray objected sleepily, "I like it when we're closer together."

Peter snorted. "Of course you do, blanket hog."

"Hey, I do not--!"

Egon covered his mouth. "Shh." The sound was a mumble and the physicist sounded mostly asleep.

Ray grinned apologetically and kissed the hand that was trying to block his lips from moving. "Sorry, Egie." He scooted over closer to Egon so Peter could crawl in. The psychologist turned out the bedside lamp and then did so, sliding a possessive arm over Ray's hips.

"Are you actually going to sleep, or is this an all-night discussion situation?" Peter's warm voice ghosted across the hairs on Ray's neck. He sounded as exhausted as Ray felt.

"I can sleep if you're here," Ray promised him.

Peter was quiet a moment. Ray's sincere attachments to his partners and willingness to say so still caught him off guard. Then his flippant tone returned and he said, "Good to hear." His arm tightened around Ray.

There was silence in the darkened room for seven seconds. Then, "I swear from now on I'll be more car--"

"Ray!"

"Raymond."

"Right. Sorry."

[homespork-review]

HOMESPORK ACT 5 ACT 1: Mobius Double Plusungood, Part 3

TW: """funny""" sexual and physical assault of a child by another child, extreme bullying, extreme ableism, a very brief discussion of shipping characters outside their canon sexuality.

CHEL: We get some implications of the part of troll culture we ended on last time when a slightly baffled-looking Nepeta, watching through the viewport, updates her SHIPPING WALL. Instead of hearts, some of the hypothetical pairings she’s painted are marked with diamonds. What this means will be explained shortly.

I can’t help but feel it’s slightly creepy to hypothetically matchmake your own friends, but I’m pretty sure the other trolls know at least that the shipping wall exists if not exactly which ships they’re in, and they do live in a society in which it’s stated later that mating is mandatory, so it would indeed be helpful to have at least emergency-doable matchmaking done well in advance and they might appreciate the help.

I’d like to take a moment to note a ship at the bottom row, left of centre; GA/Tavros. Hussie, on his Formspring, later said that GA was “obviously” a lesbian, or anyway was only interested in women, which doesn’t have a specific term for it in troll culture. It’s actually hard to tell going by what’s shown in canon, because she only displays specific interest in girls except for in a complicated case we’ll discuss later, but trolls are supposed to be bi-normative, plus it’s not like the male selection here is particularly inspiring, so, yeah, the evidence we actually see isn't conclusively "obvious". The fandom, knowing this, systematically harass anyone who even muses vaguely about the possibility of shipping her with a boy, even if they don't know about that Word of God. This is why I’m wondering whether the trolls knew about the shipping wall, because if they did, we can presume GA didn’t care. For the record, I’m sex-repulsed ace and have in fact written about.my own imaginary persona fucking (admittedly fucking an opposite sex clone of herself, it was a complicated injoke) and my reaction to someone else writing it would depend on context and reason, so I can imagine her reacting similarly, but not everyone would. A similar thing with a canonically gay male character explicitly on-screen not caring about hypothetical shipping of himself with girls comes up much later; he’s not a troll, but his upbringing was troll-influenced (long story).

BRIGHT: Harassing people over the ships they make content for always baffles me. It’s not like fanart/fanfic for a ship which contradicts canon has any effect on the canon, and playing around with character dynamics (often in a pornographic manner) is a major part of fanfic.

CHEL: On top of all this, gender and sexuality are really shaky concepts to even try to apply to a species which reproduces hermaphroditically. On this side of the fourth wall it’s obviously because Hussie is a not-very-reflective cisgender heterosexual man, and didn’t think about it any further than “girls wear skirts, right?” Plenty of people fanwank up possibilities for how it could happen on the other side. I think we may have to make a “What The Fuck Is Alternian Biology And Sociology” post or two separate from the sporking at the very end.

Discourse discussion over! Next page, we see some of the relevant terminology used in troll culture, though we still don’t get any explanation of what any of the words actually mean, which is a tad annoying for new readers. The context is a discussion between Karkat and Vriska about getting her into the game.

BRIGHT: Specifically, Karkat wants Vriska to get Tavros into the game, leading to this exchange…

CG: WHY DO YOU EVEN HATE HIM, IT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. CG: IF ANYTHING YOU SHOULD PITY HIM. CG: ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PARALYZED HIM. AG: I know. I don't really understand it. AG: It's just a really special kind of h8! It never goes away and it doesn't make a lot of sense. CG: THIS IS KIND OF A WEIRD TIME TO BE CONFIDING IN ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF BLACK ROMANCE BUT OK. AG: Oh god, what? CG: I MEAN IF YOU'RE REALLY IMPLYING TAVROS IS YOUR KISMESIS I THINK YOU'RE BRAYING UP THE WRONG FROND NUB. CG: BOTH PARTIES HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER EQUALLY, I MEAN LIKE TRUE HATE. CG: MAYBE YOUR FEELINGS COME SOMEWHAT CLOSE TO FITTING THE BILL BUT I DON'T THINK HE CAN HATE ANYONE, IT'S WEIRD, HE'S KIND OF BROKEN IN THE HEAD.

Finally, our long-awaited introduction to troll romance!

And the introduction is an effective one. We now know that there’s something called ‘black romance’, that it concerns hate, and that one’s black-romantic partner is a ‘kismesis’. The conversation also flows naturally and fits the characters having it, rather than being an awkward as-you-know infodump, although brace yourselves, there’s one of those coming up. Thirteen is about right for kids starting to have romantic feelings and being confused about it, not wanting to talk about it is pretty normal, and Karkat lecturing people at a good opportunity is absolutely in character.

Karkat goes on to lecture Vriska about the emotions involved in different sorts of romantic relationships, and wow, it really says a lot about troll culture…

CG: OK, MOST PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T HAD THEIR LOBE STEM CAUTERIZED ARE CAPABLE OF FEELING THE TWO PRIMARY EMOTIONS, HATE AND PITY. CG: PITY IS OF COURSE JUST THE TONED DOWN VERSION OF THE CENTRAL EMOTION, HATE. CG: AND ALL THE NUANCES OF PITY MANIFEST AS VARIOUS OTHER KINDS OF FEELINGS LIKE WHATEVER CHEMICAL REACTIONS TRIGGER MATING FONDNESS OR THE MYSTERIOUS FORCES THAT ARE BEHIND MOIRALLEGIANCE.

CHEL: It’s never really clear if this is just Karkat’s idea of it or if this is how trolls actually work biologically. Trolls do use the word “love” later on, so I always interpreted it as “pity” being a euphemistic term because “love” in such a warlike and oppressive culture could be exploited as a weakness. Fandom has played it with their love actually being based on a weird form of sympathy/seeing the other as needing protection, which is also plausible.

FAILURE ARTIST: I have played with the pity thing before but in retrospect Karkat is the only one who seems to see it that way. Maybe this is all his fake deep teenager view of romance.

BRIGHT: Vriska makes a performance of how bored she is, but Karkat’s on a roll.

CG: A WELL BALANCED PERSON IS IS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DISTRIBUTION BETWEEN HATE AND THE VARIOUS PITY HUMORS. CG: HAVING A GOOD BALANCE KEEPS ALL THE EMOTIONS SHARPER, SEE I THINK THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. AG: Oh???????? AG: I hope you know I already wore out some good note-taking pens today. All the pens. AG: All of them. CG: SEE, MY HATE IS LIKE A FINELY TUNED INSTRUMENT BECAUSE I'M AWARE OF THESE PRINCIPLES. CG: I COULD HATE A HOLE IN PARADOX SPACE ITSELF, STRAIGHT THROUGH TO A NEW REALITY FRESH FOR THE HATING. AG: Hahahahahahahaha, you don't even know how much I'm laughing at this. CG: BUT SEE, YOU'RE TOO HEAVY ON THE HATE SIDE, OR AT LEAST YOU PRETEND TO BE WHICH IS MAYBE WORSE. AG: You aren't reading anything I say are you? You just want to talk and talk and talk. CG: AND YOU THINK YOU'RE HATING UP EVERYONE HARD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY JUST BURNING OUT THAT ENTIRE EMOTIONAL HEMISPHERE. CG: IT'S LIKE LUKEWARM HATE. PRETENDER'S HATE, WITH NO COUNTERPOINT AT ALL. CG: AS SUCH THERE'S NO REAL SUBSTANCE TO YOUR HATE, IT'S LIKE A CARDBOARD MOVIE PROP. CG: WHICH IS WHY YOUR BRAIN IS BROKEN, KIND OF LIKE TAVROS'S BUT ON THE OPPOSITE HEMISPHERE I GUESS. CG: OR MAYBE YOUR BROKEN BRAIN LED TO THE IMBALANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I DON'T KNOW. CG: WHATEVER THE CASE IS, YOU'RE KIND OF EMOTIONALLY SCREWED, SORRY TO SAY. CG: YOUR HATE'S TOO DULL FOR A PROPER KISMESIS, IN MY OPINION. CG: AND I DON'T SEE ANYONE CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO BE YOUR MOIRAIL HONESTLY, UNLESS THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WOULD ACTUALLY BOTHER PITYING YOU. CG: AND LANDING A MATESPRIT? HAHAHAHA! CG: SERIOUSLY, LIKE THAT WOULD EVEN INTEREST YOU. CG: BASICALLY ANY FEATURE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL PROFILE THAT USUALLY MAKES SOMEONE VIABLE IN THE REDROM DEPARTMENT MUST BE TOTALLY FRIED. CG: YOUR BLACKROM POTENTIAL'S PROBABLY TOAST TOO.

Whew.

So now we have ‘kismesis’, ‘moirail’, and ‘matesprit’ as terms for romantic partners, as well as the concepts of black romance, red romance, and ‘moirallegiance’ as the relationship one has with a moirail. Troll romance is not going to get any less confusing for a while.

If Karkat’s grasp of psychology strikes you as amateurish, there’s a reason for that: He gets all his knowledge from romance movies.

AG: Hey asshole, stop watching movies for girls.

I think that’s another strike against the ‘girls are the dangerous ones on Alternia’ argument. Romance movies, per this exchange, are both female-coded and seen as inferior -- Karkat defends his viewing choices by saying they’re INTRIGUING SOCIOLOGICALLY, but Vriska isn’t buying it.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 42 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 33

CHEL: I’m not sure an interest in the workings of romance should be a socially gendered thing in a society where, as it turns out, you have to have an acceptable romantic partner by a certain time or die. You’d think most kids would be trying as hard as they could to learn and put into practice everything they could about it, and you’d also think there’d be better information for them than romcoms.

BRIGHT: Has the mate-or-die part come up yet? I’m not sure when Hussie thought of it.

CHEL: I don’t know if he’d thought of it yet, but it does come up very soon.

BRIGHT: Karkat then moves on to the original reason he contacted Vriska -- he needs her and her mind powers in the game, because he’s just run into a double agent called Jack.

Over on the next panel, Karkat is still talking to Vriska, but he’s glancing back over his shoulder at Jack Noir. His hand is covered in blood, which keeps cycling through a range of colours. The blood, it transpires, is because Jack stabbed him. Karkat is amazingly calm about this.

CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING. CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME. CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE? AG: This game is so stupid. CG: IN ANY CASE I THINK HE'S PROBABLY ALL STABBED OUT.

This would be ridiculously chill even from someone who isn’t extremely cagey about his blood colour -- and it’s not that Karkat suddenly doesn’t care any more, because as soon as Vriska says she’ll ask Terezi or Jack what colour he’s bleeding, he tells her that he’s out of Terezi’s range, Jack is sworn to secrecy, and Sollux (who’s incommunicado) is the only one who knows how to make Trollian’s viewport feature work. (Given we saw how easy it is to use earlier, I’m surprised Vriska doesn’t try to figure it out herself.)

Over on the next panel, the viewer is now Jack, a few minutes prior to this conversation. Contrary to Karkat’s protestations, Jack stabs him because He's got a pretty sharp tongue and can't seem to keep it sheathed. He is curious when Karkat cares less about the wound and more about Jack seeing his blood colour, which is apparently some freakish mutation. Jack looks at his knife…

CHEL: While it’s not a realistic depiction of the colour, recall that this is the shade of red used in-comic to depict human blood. This reveal probably isn’t a surprise to anyone by now, if you’ve encountered fanart, and honestly it wasn’t a huge mindblowing revelation on my first read before I knew, but I do think it’s a clever little “aha, THAT’S why!” moment. Skilfully done.

It seems he's the only one of his kind with this mutant candy-red blood. An outcast. He thinks he was put on this planet covered in an ocean of his own blood to be taunted. Punished for something. Saddest story you ever heard. Got to do something to shut him up.

BRIGHT: Awww. That’s kind of sweet.

This little interchange gave rise to the ‘Stabdads’ fandom phenomenon, where Spades Slick is envisaged as Karkat’s father-figure. In Homestuck canon, it’s dubious how much affection Slick has for Karkat. He seems more irritated by him than anything else, but that’s about on par for how he treats the rest of the Midnight Crew. On the other hand, it clearly makes a massive impact on Karkat. We’ve seen how important blood colour is on Alternia and how insecure he is about his own; his sudden rush of fellow-feeling towards Jack is understandable, even if it does make him way too forgiving about having been stabbed.

CHEL: Karkat and Jack shake hands, and proceed to be in cahoots. Cahoooooooots. Doodling on the defaced parking ticket from earlier, they draft OPERATION REGISURP.

Your whole team executes the plan along the course of its journey, employing espionage, mind control tactics, political sabotage, vicious interrogations and cold blooded assassinations. Everyone does their part and you begin to learn the true meaning of teamwork, as well as this troll disease called friendship.

Yeah, it actually happening is skipped over with one paragraph, but that’s probably a good thing with all the complexity already going on, and we do hear more details about it. First, we’re reminded of the existence and functions of the Queens’ Rings, the magic rings the queens of Derse and Prospit have which give them traits and powers from whatever the players put in their sprites. The trolls have put their lusii in their sprites, except for Aradia, whose lusus died long ago, so she got in the sprite herself. The Queen could put up with getting bits and pieces from eleven hideous monsters (well, ten hideous monsters and one adowable little fairybull thing oh my gosh it’s cuuuute) tacked onto her, but what she absolutely won’t stand for is the other thing Aradia put in her sprite…

She could not stand bearing the visage of the most loathsome creature known to existence. So vile is its appearance, so contemptible its purpose, all depictions of the creature let alone members of its population are permanently banned from any jurisdiction in the reach of her agents. Those of its kind go by many names, and so does the reviled patron god they herald - THE GREAT DETESTATION, KING PONDSQUATTER, SPEAKER OF THE VAST JOKE, or most commonly, BILIOUS SLICK.

Recall that AR thought of the hieroglyphs in the Frog Temple as “illegal pictography”. We’ll find out later why the Black Queen has such a revulsion for frogs, it’s important. But the important part right now is that she took the ring off. At the time of planning it’s in the ROYAL VAULT.

We briefly see a moment in the future of the Black Queen wrapped in rags, just like the human sessions’ White Queen, wandering the desert as the BANISHED QUASIROYAL, and the caption notes the plan was a success.

However, Doc Scratch appears in the desert in front of her, and it’s noted she was given a new purpose. This, it seems, is the origin of Snowman.

FAILURE ARTIST: I would like if there was some canon Homestuck material expanding on this REGISURP plot.

BRIGHT: Same! It sounds really interesting. One example of Homestuck’s idiosyncratic pacing, I suppose -- we spend pages and pages on trivial alchimeter nonsense, but skip over something more meaty.

CHEL: The Red Team work on that, while the Blue Team battle their own session… or so they think. Yeah, I’m sure you’ve all already figured it out, but the trolls hadn’t just yet. They note that their prototypes are affecting the opposite team’s underlings, and the readers are shown Alternia’s two Frog Temples, one near Aradia’s home and the other near Kanaya’s, each with six pillars outside (one seems to have five, but the sixth is hidden behind the building). Superimposed on each other, the pillars make a full ring of twelve.

The truth was it had always been the same session all along. That your teams were not competing, but cooperating toward a common goal. In the more drawn out form of this adventure's narrative, figuring this out would have been a huge deal. We would have been completely blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow. Same session all along. Really? Huh.

This is what Aradia’s been so mysterious about. She knew. We’re provided with a handy diagram, in case we haven’t been able to keep up.

After watching the phrases MOBIUS DOUBLE and REACH AROUND toggle for a few minutes while in a sort of stupor, you finally snap out of it.

(I just noticed, the Blue Team are the Derse dreamers and the Red Team are the Prospit dreamers. Neat!)

The reader’s attention is drawn instead to the Aquarius and Pisces symbols in the top left, belonging to characters we haven’t met yet, and the narration promises we’ll learn about them soon. Drawing attention again to GA’s Virgo symbol, the narration muses about her.

It will probably be quite some time before you get to be her. It could very well be pages and pages and pages.

Naturally, we jump right back to her.

GA’s intro is long, so we’ll take it piece by piece.

Your name is KANAYA MARYAM.

The Sanskrit name for Virgo is “Kanya”, and it’s also the name of a town in Japan. “Maryam” is the Arabic version of “Mary”, as in Jesus’ mother. It may also be a reference to Marya Zaleska, the title character of the movie “Dracula’s Daughter”.

You are one of the few of your kind who can withstand the BLISTERING ALTERNIAN SUN, and perhaps the only who enjoys the feel of its rays. As such, you are one of the few of your kind who has taken a shining to LANDSCAPING. You have cultivated a lush oasis around your hive, and in particular, you have honed your craft through the art of TOPIARY, sculpting your trees to match the PUFFY ORACLES from your dreams. You have embraced the tool of this trade, which conveniently is the weapon of choice for those who would hunt the HEINOUS BROODS OF THE UNDEAD which crawl from the sand at sunrise to feast on the light and the living.

Couple things established here; trolls are not only nocturnal but actively harmed by their planet’s sun, and undead beings other than ghosts exist. Said traditional weapon for hunting them is a chainsaw, which we can see lying against her bookshelf, a reference to the Evil Dead movies.

It would be convenient if you actually hunted them, but it is of course far too dangerous, every bit as suicidal as attempting to poach the terrible MUSCLEBEASTS who roam at night. So you indulge in your bright fascination with the grim through literature. Just before the sun goes down and you join your flora in rest, you immerse yourself in tales of RAINBOW DRINKERS and SHADOW DROPPERS and FORBIDDEN PASSION.

Rainbow drinkers are, as discussed later on, troll vampires. I don’t think shadow droppers are ever expanded on, but they might be zombies or werebeasts. Troll goths, apparently, are the reverse of human goths, dressing in bright colours and staying up in the daytime, which makes sense for a species who can only safely go out at night.

You are one of the few of your kind with JADE GREEN BLOOD. As such you are one of the few who could be selected and raised by a VIRGIN MOTHER GRUB, an event so rare as to elude documented precedent. She would defend you from desert threats, and though her life would be short, in time you would assure her of progeny.

Recall that the Mother Grub is required for troll reproduction.

You are a SEAMSTRESS or a RAGRIPPER or a TREETRIMMER or a LUMBERJACK, whichever you care to be, and your unique hive is equipped with a great supply of advanced technology to accommodate your interests. The technology and indeed the hive itself were all recovered from the ruins nearby when you were very young. The seed of your hive was deployed on the volcanic rocks beneath the sand with the assistance of your lusus and her remarkable burrowing skills, and you have lived there happily together since. You know the ruins and the hive and everything here that is not sand and rock originated from the world of your dreams. You also know that one day you will visit this world while you are awake. That day is today.

Like Jade, Kanaya has been awake on Prospit for years, and the technology in question is Skaian in origin, so that’s how she knows what’s going on with the game.

Kanaya is prompted to equip her chainsaw, which promptly turns into a lipstick in a Problem Sleuth reference. Like Jade, she has a Wardrobifier, set to randomise, which suddenly turns her black shirt and red skirt into a red leaf-print dress. She takes out the lipstick.

You can choose between your trademark jade or black. Even though a troll's lips are naturally black. But they can always be blacker, and a lady with a true sense of style knows this.

She goes with green, her dress turns into a blue kimono, and she’s messaged by someone with a fuschia Pisces symbol. This person, named cuttlefishCuller, turns out to be rather excitable, greeting her in all caps and following it up with Glub glub glub glub glub!

BRIGHT: This conversation is pretty sweet, with some friendly joking about CC’s quirk (they stick hyphens in front of their capital Es) and mention of their Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System. There’s another mention of moirails, with CC saying they’ll have to join the game late to keep an eye on theirs.

It also turns out both CC and Kanaya are having some premonitions of what’s to come! Kanaya is seeing visions in the clouds of Skaia, the same way Jade does, but CC hears whispers from a mysterious ‘she’ who needs her voice keeping down. It’s implied to be CC’s lusus, as both Kanaya and CC are aware their lusii are going to die soon.

Kanaya hopes to be with her lusus as she dies, but looks out of the window to find the Virgin Mother Grub has already passed away, apparently of natural causes.

CHEL: The Mother Grub was seen briefly before; it’s a moth-like creature with a huge fat body the size of a bus, with wings too small to ever lift it, horns the same shape as Kanaya’s, and a skull-like head with big lips. The skull on Terezi’s Doomsday Scale was, we can tell now, a Mother Grub, except quite a lot bigger - presumably a breeding Grub.

BRIGHT: Kanaya changes back into her original outfit, and goes down to live up to her end of the bargain… which entails slicing a hole in her lusus with her chainsaw and pulling out a round object covered in spikes the colour of trolls’ horns, called a Matriorb. Kanaya stores it in her sylladex; she’s using a CHASTITY MODUS, which locks each card away, and the key will serendipitously be discovered when it’s time for the card to be unlocked. These modii are getting more and more esoteric.

Kanaya proceeds to have a conversation with her own moirail, Vriska, which we already read earlier.

You then proceed to have the rest of this conversation we already read, bugging and fussing and meddling through the special and magical union one can only describe as being in moirallegiance with another. At least, you guess that's how you would describe it. Maybe. Troll romance sure is confusing!

Yes, yes it is. (Spoiler: It’s not that confusing once it’s explained.)

Kanaya doesn’t have long to dwell on the conversation, as she’s contacted by caligulasAquarium, someone with a violet Aquarius symbol who she doesn’t seem to think highly of. It rapidly becomes apparent why.

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin GA: Who CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

CHEL: Trolls are supposed to come bi/pan as standard, so why does he need to specify “girl crush”? I wonder if Hussie hadn’t decided that yet when he wrote this part, but I’m not sure.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 34

CA’s gender hasn’t been revealed, but let’s not kid ourselves, we know from how he’s talking that he’s a dude. Nice Girls certainly exist but they don’t tend to get portrayed as so whiny in fiction, plus CC comes off as very girly, and that leaves us with six boy and six girl trolls. Balance and opposites and counterparts are a running theme throughout Homestuck. Not that there can’t be nonbinary characters, as some show up in Hiveswap; just that there would most likely have to be an even number of them, split evenly between the groups of players. Fine by me as a nonbinary person with a thing for balance and even numbers of my own.

Also, note that we’ve seen this guy, or at least his hand and foot, before. This is the litter-hater in the bowling shoes.

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

BRIGHT: Oh hey, another troll romance term! ‘Auspisticing’ is the last of the lot, don’t worry.

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

Funny words aside, Hussie does a good job at laying down context for what auspisticism is here; we now know that it involves mediating between two parties who dislike each other and that it’s a form of black romance. Meshing worldbuilding naturally into the dialogue is something Homestuck does really well at times.

Anyway, CA is trying to get in contact with Vriska because he asked her to make something for him and now she’s blowing him off.

GA: What Is It CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin CA: ok wwell not that obvviously CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

While CA is obviously a douche, there’s something funny about how over-the-top he is about it and how utterly oblivious he is to the idea that Kanaya might have a problem with a device that would kill all landdwellers, although the humour is inversely proportionate to how likely he is to pull it off.

CHEL: Maybe I’m strange, but I think he’s adorable. I get the impression of a small kid trying to puff himself up to adult size.

BRIGHT: There’s also more romance talk, and this next bit is one I find interesting:

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

I’m going to take a step back from Homestuck itself for a moment and talk about kismessitude as it’s portrayed in fandom. People tend to envision it in a variety of ways -- some see it as a BDSM relationship, some as a way of pushing a rival to be better, some as just straight-up hate-sex -- but most depictions show it as something that only affects the two people involved.

Here, though? CA’s talking about kismessitude as something that’s potentially really damn dangerous, to other people besides those involved, and cites history as a backup -- implying it can really be that dangerous, and it’s not just a teenager’s flight of fancy. (Although, that said, CA is clearly using this to try and get Kanaya in a relationship with him, so how sincere he is is questionable.)

CHEL: Later on we do see a little bit of one of the historical cases he might have been citing. We’ll discuss it more then. Also, I do like him saying “sunny” instead of “gloomy”. Makes sense!

Kanaya tells CA none of this matters, and he sneers about the “purity of the bloodline”. That’s an… uncomfortable turn of phrase, especially since he’s speaking to someone not covered by the “purity” standard, but since it applies to aliens and it’s in a society where that’s hammered into its inhabitants it’s not a Problematykks issue. Kanaya tells him it still won’t matter because their race will be wiped out entirely, and his reaction is remarkably understated:

CA: huh CA: wwell ok HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 11

CA says he knows Kanaya doesn’t lie except to herself, surprisingly perceptive for one so puffed-up otherwise. CA might be smarter than he’s letting on? He asks if her clouds told her that; that was the reader’s assumption too, but she says no, she has a different source. Uh-oh. We know what the last source of information was, and it cost Vriska an arm and an eye-sevenfold. CA’s own clouds “hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities”, so we can guess she’s Prospit and he’s Derse. He goes back to nagging her to tell Vriska to talk to him, and when she continues to refuse he poutily steps off.

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

Kanaya denies this, and CA says everyone knows, including Karkat.

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience CA: wwhat CA: wwhoa wwait wwho GA: Never Mind CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today CA: wwhat did she say CA: or glub or wwhatevver

They’re talking about CC, if it wasn’t clear. Kanaya, in a callback to John’s comment to Terezi, facetiously tells him that she talked about Longing To Touch You Indiscretely and That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You. CA, flustered, picks up that she’s teasing him, and she tells him the truth, that CC’s just concerned as a moirail.

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

I’m going to comment on this attitude in a bit more detail when we get a clearer explanation of what moirallegiance actually is. CA leaves her with some arc words.

CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

Kanaya heads back to her room, planning to emphatically not meddle but help her friends, and consults her source; it’s fortunately not a Doc Scratch-related one at all. It is, in fact, Rose’s long-forgotten GameFAQ, saved on a server floating in the Furthest Ring, to which Prospit’s clouds directed her. I have to show you the panel for a moment though…

I’m sure there was a way we could see the screen without having it facing away from Kanaya who’s supposed to be reading it.

You can only assume this took place a long time ago. This race is likely ancient, preceding yours by millions of sweeps. Maybe billions! You like to try to imagine the adventures of these players. Were they successful in repopulating their race? Did they manage to protect their matriorb and hatch a new mother grub? Could they hold it together, or were they torn apart by the complex social dynamics, the matespritships and moirallegiences and auspisticisms and kismesissitudes that will surely plague your group along the way? You have little doubt they succeeded with flying colors.

Oh dear, dramatic irony. Kanaya fantasises about a troll version of Rose, thinking she must have been the leader of this supposedly long-ago group.

And yet they appear to have been the only of their kind to have risen to the challenge in a session stacked heavily against them.

Huh. So is this just because Kanaya can’t find more information, or are the four kids in fact the only humans who successfully got into the game? Picking four specifically white-coded kids to be the last of the human race due to supposedly their own competence is… not a good choice. And why the hell couldn’t other people succeed? This strikes me as more of the whole theme of “nobody matters except the people we’re focusing on”. A good lampshading of video game tropes, but in a literary story, that’s the opposite message to everything I’ve ever read, and it’s a creepy one.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 43 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 12 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 35

BRIGHT: I thiiiiiiiink it’s at least implied later on that there are other sessions going, it’s just that each session is a closed loop of players so we don’t see the others...although if that’s the case, does that mean Earth’s getting hit with meteors from multiple Skaias?

CHEL: That over with for the moment, we cut to Tavros’ house as you take your place as the PAGE OF BREATH in the LAND OF SAND AND ZEPHYR. Vriska, his server player, gets down to the business of building up his house towards the Gate…

… entirely out of staircases.

AT: i THINK THIS, iS, AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,

Okay, this probably makes me a bad person, but I’m crying with laughter at his expression and that line.

It’s more disability slapstick, but here the point of the joke comes off as being more that Vriska is a jerk and Tavros’ reaction is really understated than any reasonable person being supposed to assume Tavros is wrong for not being able to climb stairs. Emphasis on “comes off as”, unfortunately. I’m still gonna give a Problematykks point, and further experience with Hussie’s attitude to disability has soured the joke somewhat, even in just the next couple of pages.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 44

BRIGHT: Vriska tries to get Tavros to crawl up the stairs, first by telling him that he promised not to be boring anymore and then by saying that she’s trying to help him get stronger. She caps off the rant by demanding that he apologise.

AT: oKAY, AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, AT: bUT, AT: sORRY FOR WHAT, AG: For 8eing crippled, you ass! AT: yOU WANT ME TO APOLOGIZE, AT: fOR BEING PARALYZED, AG: Yes. AG: Say you're sorry. AT: i DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE, oR bORING, AT: bUT THAT'S RIDICULOUS, gIVEN, AT: uH, tHE CIRCUMSTANCES, AG: 8ullshit! AG: It's something called 8asic decency and civility you fudge8looded 8oor. AG: Now get down on your useless wo88ly knees and apologize. AT: nO, i DON'T WANT TO, AG: >::::O

Vriska, what the fuck.

Tavros is really great here. He’s obviously not comfortable fighting with Vriska, and repeatedly tries to redirect her into building him ramps instead of engaging. But, at the same time, he holds his ground and doesn’t let her push him around, and won’t let go of solid hard reality in the face of Vriska trying to emotionally manipulate him.

FAILURE ARTIST: And yet people still call him a wimp.

BRIGHT: Vriska retaliates, because of course she does, by grabbing his wheelchair with her cursor and shaking it about. If Hussie left it at that, everything would be unobjectionable, at least in terms of narrative voice. Instead, well…

Now she's done it. She has awoken the mighty inner fury that is... RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CHEL: It just occurred to me to mention that the name Rufio comes from a character in the movie Hook, the leader of the Lost Boys after Peter Pan left, played by Dante Basco. Tavros’ mental image of him is a reference to that character.

FAILURE ARTIST: Dante Basco did read Homestuck, with hilarious results as we will see.

But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.

BRIGHT: Eurgh.

Let me be clear: Tavros having no further recourse to deal with Vriska’s abuse beyond his visualised self-esteem is a problem for the character, but it’s not necessarily a narrative problem per se. Escapism is a thing. You could get a decent character arc out of Tavros learning better ways to deal with harassment he can’t escape. It is a narrative problem when the narrator mocks it and makes him out to be pathetic for even trying it.

CHEL: I’d consider this to be just Tavros’ own thought process, but, sadly, this kind of narrative sneering at him carries on throughout Tavros’ presence in the comic and the fandom seems to buy into it. Tavros gets a lot of hate for reasons which mostly boil down to him being a male abuse victim; there’s a feeling that he should “try harder” to fight back, despite him being physically disabled and a member of a caste out of sight beneath her on the social ladder and legally permitted to be killed by her on a whim. Might that count as a point for WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM, for Huss and the fandom not taking the social dynamics into account for why Tavros can’t defend himself?

BRIGHT: I don’t know if it’s fair to count against the fandom when we’re reviewing Homestuck proper, but we can definitely count against Hussie!

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 36

CHEL: It’s also notable that the common fandom interpretation of Tavros is as Hispanic-coded, at least partly due to his Spanish username, and of Vriska as white-coded. That’s probably not helping.

Since Hussie appears to expect us to agree with Vriska that this is funny, I’m adding another to these as well.

ALL THE LUCK: 2 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 45 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 3

BRIGHT: What’s weird about this whole mess is that Hussie doesn’t — yet — try to say that Tavros should be trying to get stronger; his disability is fully acknowledged. I feel like this kind of mockery is usually accompanied by the attitude that disabled people should just get over their disability, but Hussie’s clear that Tavros can’t. Which means he should do...what, exactly?

CHEL: Not have let Vriska disable him in the first place, presumably. Never mind that, you know, she has mind control powers so he didn’t really have a choice in that either. That is, however, an argument Vriska fans actually make. Apparently some of them actually blame him for not flying when she threw him off the cliff, which… well, unpowered flight is a thing that can happen in the comic but he certainly couldn’t do it then.

BRIGHT: ...Apparently I retain the capacity for surprise at how awful people can be. The fuck?

Back in the comic, Tavros fortunately does have one other means of recourse. Back in her hive, Vriska is suddenly prodded in the back with a flying toilet, courtesy of Kanaya.

GA: Just Presenting A Floating Reminder That Tavros Will Need Plenty Of Inclined Surfaces For His Ascent AG: That's silly. I made so many ramps, you wouldn't even 8elieve it. AG: I specifically decided I wanted to 8uild something ugly and 8oring. It is now the land of ramps and yawns. GA: Hes Reported Otherwise AG: That lousy snitch! May8e I should take his computer away so he can't go crying to fussyfangs anymore. GA: Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head AG: No, don't! GA: Im Still Learning The Interface GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment AG: I'm only trying to help him. ::::( GA: Think Of Another Way To Help

CHEL: Did I mention Kanaya is my zodiac troll? I can only long to reach her heights of awesome. Of course the ability to levitate toilets would kinda help.

BRIGHT: Vriska heads down to her treasure vault and retrieves a pair of ROCKET SHOES. The captchalogue code for these is ‘PSHOOOES’, which amuses me greatly. Vriska sends the code to Tavros, who combines it with the code for his wheelchair to create a flying wheelchair. Now that is a good use of alchemising!

CHEL: Awww!

Tavros flies up to the Gate, and we cut back to him later on, leading an entourage of communed-with imps and ogres to move obstacles and help him solve puzzles. Using his skills well, I see! In another set of ruins the imps load jigsaw pieces of rock into a frog-shaped alcove,

Things, however, don’t continue to go so well, because Hussie hates this poor kid. I do not mean that facetiously. Statements he’s made elsewhere imply he has a hell of a lot of contempt for several of the characters he created, which I don’t understand at all. We’ll go into this after Act 7, but I get the sensation that the characters are merely tools to show off the complexity and meta references, which are the parts he really cares about.

BRIGHT: It’s not unknown for authors to dislike characters they wrote; the great Terry Pratchett reputedly hated his character Rincewind. The key difference is that in Pratchett’s case, the audience couldn’t tell. Hussie, on the other hand, tends to make his disdain pretty obvious, to the detriment of the story.

CHEL: That’s a point. Conan Doyle grew to hate Sherlock Holmes, too. He didn’t, however, set up situations solely to shit on Holmes in his books.

BRIGHT: I think that’s the key. I’ll forgive a multitude of failings as long as the author seems to be treating the characters fairly. That doesn’t mean that good things have to happen to them — plenty of bad things can happen and I’ll enjoy it — it just means that the author has to...respect how the character feels and would behave, I guess.

Of course, respect is Hussie’s antithesis, so.

Also, nothing so far has shown Vriska to be anything other than a (granted, entertaining) bully. I wasn’t around while Homestuck was updating, so I’m not sure when her fandom took off, but it has to be later than this, surely?

CHEL: I don’t know. I wasn’t around till about mid-Act 6.

What was I on about? Oh yes. Tavros is interrupted by Vriska again, who bitches him out for doing things the boring way and seeking the boring lore.

AG: The minds of your consorts are very soft and impressiona8le. AG: As easily manipul8ed as all those imps you've 8een 8ossing around. AG: I have picked apart their tiny little lizard 8rains and seen through all the smoke and mirrors of their riddles. AG: I have gotten to the truth they are guarding. The great 8ig mystery 8ehind this planet. And you know what it is, Tavros? AT: nO, AG: It's 8ullshit! AG: Meaningless, 8oring, fanciful 8ullshit wrapped in flowery poems to keep you guessing. AG: It all leads to one thing anyway, and that's what we should put our attention on. AG: Real gamers cut to the chase. They power through all the nonsense and go for the gold. AG: They cheat, Tavros. AG: It is time you learned to start cheating.

Interesting theory. Tavros thinks befriending his monsters instead of killing them is cheating, and Vriska grudgingly agrees but is annoyed he isn’t killing anything. She claims to have designed a better and more challenging quest for him; he asks after her own quest, and she says she has time because Kanaya’s busy.

AG: Which is just as well 8ecause I was starting to get nannied HARD. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 37

Strange word choice for a species raised by animals, but okay. Vriska sends Tavros a map to the next Gate, and he sets off in his little rocket chair. Little does he know.

You proceed through what seems to be your second gate, into the LAND OF MAPS AND TREASURE. The THIEF OF LIGHT lies in wait.

In a callback to our last meeting of Breath and Light players, Tavros crashes through Vriska’s wall and is left hanging upside-down in the rocket chair from the large cobwebs across the room, while Vriska sleeps on a pile of broken eight-balls. Doesn’t look comfortable, but trolls rest in worse places later. Vriska wakes, and Tavros falls head-first onto the floor.

Here is where it gets incredibly uncomfortable, and we have to show it in detail to assign points properly and so that there’s no ambiguity about what’s happening, so if you have any sexual assault, ableism, underage, mind control, or victim-blaming triggers you may want to skip this part. No clothing is removed but it’s very unpleasant to read and the attitude toward it is worse. Seriously, this is Taklamakan Zoo levels of bad.

(This heading below’s not part of the comic, I just put it there so you can skip. The sequence ends with the piece of fanart of Kanaya looking at the sideways screen.)

~*THE ASSAULT STARTS HERE*~

Vriska sits up. She’s wearing a very short strappy white Tinkerbell dress with her sign on it, and what look like over-the-knee socks, a commonly fetishised style of clothing. I remind you these characters are supposed to be thirteen years old. The dress is also the same as the one worn by the fairy in the artwork on Tavros’ desktop background. I don’t know if Vriska had seen that or not.

FAILURE ARTIST:

To be fair she’s just in an actually-more-modest version of what Peter Pan’s sidekick/love interest wears and the socks come off as more dorky than sexy.

Oh my! It appears Pupa Pan himself has flown through your window while you were asleep. How exciting! Surely he is here to take you away on the adventure of a lifetime. He is more dreamy and heroic than you ever imagined. But what's this?? It seems the legendary Boy-Skylark has misplaced his shadow. He is looking EVERYWHERE for it, to no avail. He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all. He clearly needs your help.

CHEL: Vriska is prompted to Help Pupa find shadow, and approaches Tavros with a nasty-looking grin on her face, while he lies on the floor, gritting his teeth in noticeable pain.

Pupa! You truly are a silly goose. Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?

Charming. Vriska proceeds to kick him in the head, or at least nudge him with her foot, while he lies unresponsive.

Of course, the secret to reuniting with your shadow is to get up and walk around. And play and dance and frolic! Your shadow will surely join in your gaiety. But it appears Pupa has lost the use of his legs. There will be no frolicking in this young man's future. ::::( Unless...

Everyone knows that just a pinch of SPECIAL STARDUST along with a happy thought will allow any boy to get up and walk again. Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy. The fairy girl then helps him walk again, and in return, he teaches her to fly, even though she probably already knows how to fly. Because she's a fairy. They fly out of her window together, and have magical adventures for many sweeps thereafter. To be honest, you hardly know a damn thing about Pupa Pan. But you do not care.

Pupa remains as pathetic and useless as ever.

FAILURE ARTIST: The story just keeps mocking Tavros for being disabled.

CHEL: Not to mention for being interested in fairies. Because how dare a boy have a gender-nonstandard interest, or a young teenager enjoy whimsical escapism from an increasingly horrible and guaranteed-to-be-short life.

WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 39

I might be projecting because the fandom has made me loathe her, but it honestly comes off like Vriska dressed up like this in the first place less to seduce Tavros and more to make sure she thoroughly ruined his favourite thing to hurt him further, especially if the narration is supposed to be things she’s actually saying to him.

The stardust did nothing! Probably because it is just glittery powder with no magical properties whatsoever and is basically bullshit. Because in case it wasn't clear, magic isn't real, and neither are miracles. OR It could just be that Pupa has failed to have a happy thought! Your duty is clear. You will have to MAKE him have happy thoughts. Vriska: Make Pupa have happy thoughts.

He certainly doesn’t seem to be having happy thoughts now. Notice his expression, what we can see of it, looks terrified, he’s trembling, and let’s recall that he’s paralysed from the waist down. Even if he wasn’t, she’s of a far, far higher caste than him, legally permitted to do whatever she wants to him, including killing him if he tries to resist. It’s kind of gone back and forth on, but higher bloods are a few times stated to be a lot stronger than lower bloods, and if they work like humans, they’re in puberty right now, a time at which human girls tend to get taller and stronger sooner than boys. Again, it’s gone back and forth on, but a common interpretation is that female trolls are stronger than male trolls in general and/or have the social power advantage. Let’s also remember that, even if none of those factors apply, Vriska has mind control powers. There is no point here at which Tavros has the advantage, nothing he can use as leverage on her. She can do whatever the hell she wants, and she does.

BRIGHT: We’ve also been explicitly shown that Vriska has little to no respect for anyone else’s autonomy if she finds it inconvenient, and that Tavros is her favourite punching bag, and that his ability to stand up for himself when she gets going is extremely limited.

CHEL: Despite the odds stacked against him, Tavros struggles against the kiss forced on him, and when Vriska pushes him back, doesn’t respond with anything but a look of horror, though she appears to expect him to, as a flickering heart-spade with a question mark over it appears between them. I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be the thought process of him or her or both.

Vriska hurls him onto the floor with some force...

… and activates her mind control, causing little hearts to light up in Tavros’ eyes.

BRIGHT: Vriska has used her mind-control powers on Tavros before, and when it happened she walked him off a cliff. There is basically no way that her doing it again isn’t going to be a traumatic experience for him, above and beyond the inherent horror of losing control over one’s body.

I’m inclined to think that forcibly altering his emotions is worse, though. Being paralysed was bad enough, but Tavros knows what happened and he knows how he feels about it. Making him fall in love with her is just…on one level, it’s a horrible assault on his autonomy as a person, and on another level, it’s tailor-made to make him doubt himself and believe the encounter was something he wanted.

FAILURE ARTIST: I hadn’t thought that he might now consider the encounter as consensual, which would explain his later reaction.

CHEL: Tavros paws at her legs, making kissy faces, and she looks vaguely concerned. Note the background still depicts wavy blue rays coming off her, showing her power is still active.

Looking defeated, she drops the control and dumps him on the floor again.

I’m not sure what she’s supposed to be thinking in this last panel. Is she feeling guilty? Is she disappointed that he didn’t like her under his own power? Has she just decided he’s too useless to be worth the effort? Any could be true.

BRIGHT: I read that as disappointment that even when he ‘liked’ her, he didn’t act the way she wanted. (And the way Tavros acted is kind of disturbing. ‘Mindlessly pawing at someone’ is not what I’d expect from him if he was legitimately attracted to someone.)

FAILURE ARTIST: The common interpretation these days was she was realizing she wasn’t into boys which okay that’s good for her but she should feel more bad about molesting him.

CHEL: That also makes no sense, because she shows interest in multiple boys later.

I’m also not entirely sure if Vriska had the intention of actually raping Tavros here (in the standard way, I mean, as one could argue that mind control is a form of rape), or just making out with him. The fact that she dressed up in vaguely fetishy clothing isn’t making it look good, though. Yes, she’s very young, but traumatised kids in particular have been known to lash out sexually like that. It’s a way of reasserting personal power, and I imagine it would be more prevalent in a society with no sapient adult supervision. While there are mitigating circumstances involved in their social situation and Vriska not really having ever had a chance to learn better, that doesn’t make this not a horrible thing to do, or not traumatising for Tavros.

BRIGHT: The clothing could potentially be down to Vriska wanting to look ‘adult’ without fully understanding why it looks adult. That does come up sometimes with teens — they want to experiment with clothing because that’s how adults dress, not because they want to look sexy, or they might dress a certain way for dates because that’s the social model they have for How Dates Work.

And if I read it like that, this basically looks like Vriska having the date equivalent of a dolls’ tea party. Which says volumes about how she views Tavros’s autonomy.

CHEL: Good point. Though honestly it would say volumes about same either way!

BRIGHT: I said earlier that Vriska is better than Equius at recognising when other people’s desires conflict with hers, and she is, but that doesn’t mean she respects those differences. She just recognises that they’re there, and overrides them. This is a prime example of Vriska viewing Tavros as something between a chew-toy and a prop. First she kicks him around and terrifies him, then she expects him to be able to get over those emotions at the drop of a hat and respond to her advances — and, moreover, she wants him to respond in a certain way, which Tavros has zero way of knowing. This is the first time she’s shown that sort of interest in him, unless her earlier behaviour was the Alternian equivalent of pigtail-pulling.

...I think maybe that was in fact Alternian pigtail-pulling. Or at least Vriska’s version of pigtail-pulling.

CHEL: That’ll actually make more sense, once we explain what the spade symbol means.

Okay, how many counts does this cover?

ALL THE LUCK: 12 ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 31 CALL CPA PLEASE: 26 CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 55 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 13

It also occurred to me during this sequence to think again about how Karkat contemptuously swears at and hangs up the phone on the injured Tavros. This, at first glance, seems to be very much at odds with the “cranky but caring” impression we’re supposed to have of Karkat… but it fits precisely with Hussie’s opinion of Tavros and how pathetic he is for allowing a much more powerful person to permanently disable him. I know at the moment it looks like I’m not separating the character from the author, but it’ll become clear as we go that that is what he thinks.

IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 14

Why didn’t we start a FUCK YOU, HUSSIE count?

BRIGHT: It would have ended up longer than all the other counts combined.

CHEL: The actual assault is over now, but there’s one more picture of it. The ramifications must continue to be discussed, so tread cautiously. The actual act is over now, though.

Said ramifications come pretty quickly. Kanaya, having dealt with getting herself into the game and prototyped her own lususprite, decides to check on Vriska.

Ideally she has not gotten herself into too much trouble. And ideally the dramatic irony has not gotten so thick you could draw a dotted line on it with a tube of lipstick and cut it in half with a chainsaw.

Of course, she sees the exact moment Vriska kisses Tavros.

(Fanart source has now been deleted, sadly.)

~*THE ASSAULT ENDS HERE*~

Humorous art aside over, let’s watch Kanaya’s reaction in more detail. She angrily looks at a copy of the Tinkerbell dress, which she presumably sent the alchemiter code for rather than the actual item to Vriska, hence why she still has it.

So THAT'S why she had you make this dress for her??? And you just went along with it like a sucker. Argh, you are such an IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like Karkat, Kanaya is presented as the caring one, the protective one. The “mom friend” of the group. And yet, she looks at this, in which Tavros is clearly frightened and struggling, and her reaction is to be mad that Vriska didn’t want to wear the dress for a date with her. I’m not sure whether this says more about Hussie’s opinion of Tavros or the social system of Alternia or both, but it certainly says a lot.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 56 HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING: 13 IN HATE WITH MY CREATION: 15

BRIGHT: Kanaya has had to corral Vriska on Tavros’s behalf already! Possibly more than once! She has all the information to realise that this is abusive, even leaving aside Tavros’s reaction! Sure, teens can be self-centred, but even so this is egregious.

CHEL: Kanaya’s Grubsprite comforts her and she throws the dress out the window.

Being a kid and growing up. It's hard and nobody understands.

Yes, I’m sure Tavros thinks so too.

Charles: "I know Sir can be prickly, but you have to understand he had a very terrible childhood."

Klaus: "I understand. I'm having a very terrible childhood right now."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events

[bellamygateoldblog]

A little something about this blog (and me) + what im doing in fandom.

I love to chat and love recieving asks and comments, don't hesitate to interact w me!! but im here to have fun, not stress myself out or take fictional things seriously and personally, and i don't owe anyone with an opposing view a 'debate' with long, justified explanations backed-up with evidence as if this is some goddamn academic thesis and not the light-hearted ramblings of a fandom blog because that isn't how i want to spend my time.

If your enjoyment of fandom is engaging in discourse, defending an idea or character to the death, writing intricate metas and crafting theories, and debating people you’ll never see eye-to-eye with, that’s fine but it’s not mine.

I don’t need to talk about something I don’t want to, I don’t have to consider a character I don’t like, I definitely don’t have to humour the aggression of other people in fandom.

On the other hand, if you follow me or are just curious about something, absolutely ask and i’ll answer. I don’t mind if it’s coming from someone with good intentions and not just looking to start an argument that nobody will win. Like if you're reading this now thinking it's about you dw there's a 99% chance it's not.

I’m not in fandom to be challenged, maybe that’s controversial. I’m here to talk about something i enjoy with other like-minded people who share my opinions/perceptions, within my own space.

I don’t make my posts to “convince” anyone of anything or “argue my side” or to invite other people to jump on to disagree or rebuttle, unless I specifically ask- when use tags i make them relevant, inviting relevant people to see those posts.

I love characters so hated by fandom it warrented “pro” tags for them, and you really think i wanna sit here and listen to you drawl on tirelessly about something i’ve seen literally a thousand times? I do not! Go tell someone who cares.

I think stan culture- switching on characters in a heartbeat because they rolled their eyes at your favourite and you can’t handle conflict, twisting canon, willfully misreading things, demonising (female) characters who are obstacles to your preferred ship, constructing your own story in your head and then getting mad when that isn’t canon- is silly, and I don’t fuck w it.

I’m not here to be a puritan scrambling to prove their own goodness using the fiction that interests them as ‘evidence’ as if those things have any baring at all on who we are as real human people, policing others to do the same thing, or to be an ~ intellectual ~  with a superiority complex, parading qualifications around as if they matter when we say “omg this character is bb.”

This blog is casual and chatty. You’re welcome. But I don’t have the energy to deal with people looking for a fight i never said i’d participate in. We discuss eyebrows and bad bitches here 🤷‍♀️ IDK what else to tell you?

[disappearinginq]

Really? You're still hung up on comparing Magnum and Higgins to your famaily even though that annoymous poster explained to you, over and over, all the ways you're wrong? Being sarcastic and insulting someone is not the same thing as being sarcastic to express affection. You're b-i-l is a dick who picks on your sister's insecurities and makes her feel worthless. Higgins pokes at things that Magnum is secure in, like his intelligence, because she knows there's no chance of him being offended

(2/3) I have family and friends in the UK and every single time you ignore all the evidence to the contrary and insist that Higgins is this awful toxic creature, you're insulting every one of them. Honestly? You're just as bad as the shippers you profess to hate, only, where they insist there's non-existant romantic feelings, you insist there's non-existent offense being given. None of the men are bothered or upset by her sarcasm. They've made room for her in their ohana. They adore her.

(3/3)

And she has killed, and nearly died, to keep Magnum safe. That's not the sort of thing someone would do for someone they don't give a flying fuck about. You seem like a really intelligent person and I just don't understand why you insist on ruining this show for yourself by clinging to this wildly incorrect first impression instead of letting your opinion develop the way her character and relationship with the three guys has.

Oh, there is probably some etiquette where I’m not supposed to stoop to your level and ignore this with a “toddle off” and a peace sign so that I can be the more sympathetic in this conversation, buuuuuut.  I am not the kind of person. So. One, sit the fuck back down, buttercup. From here on out, you’re Exhibit Fucking A why I goddamn despise shippers. And here’s the biggest one: do I come in your space at all? Do I, oh, I don’t know, specifically go and find you assholes, just to pick a fight on anonymous, like a goddamn coward? No. I don’t troll fics tagged with Miggy, telling the authors to fuck off an die (which you lot have done to me). I don’t go onto a server and bitch them out to others (which you lot have done to me) and then incite people to come and go after the people who don’t share my view (WHICH YOU LOT HAVE DONE TO ME. DO YOU SEE A FUCKING PATTERN, YOU GODDAMN TWAT WAFFLE?) So you know what, fuckwit? Drop dead. Come off fucking anonymous so people can see who you really are. Be brave, you little insect. And I swear to fucking christ almighty, your little bitch ass better not come back with ‘I don’t have a Tumblr account, so I can’t boo hoo). 

Two. Vix and I are friends. Unless you can’t read and interpret the English language, which you seem to do just fucking fine, you would see that. In fact, you can credit her why I try really hard to rationalize some of Higgins’s behavior (and then either dipshits like you, or the writers themselves, make it impossible and I have to remember Vix and her wonderful insight). In case you didn’t fucking read, she is also the one who commented on the utter horse shit story lines we’re being fed, so there goes your leg to stand on. We had our discussion, we came to a shared, fascinating insight that the other one had to offer, and she’s the reason I leave anonymous commenting on, because as much as I would love to set you on fire, I love hearing from her more. So pitter pat, jackass, back to your hidey hole. 

Three. I’m sure I could be much more eloquent about telling you just how much I despise you on a fundamental level, but I am actually too fucking pissed off. But good news - you’re apparently pretty confident in your position, so this won’t insult you when I call you a cowardly ass - unless, you’re on anonymous because I have you blocked, which means you wanted this.  “ I have family and friends in the UK and every single time you ignore all the evidence to the contrary and insist that Higgins is this awful toxic creature, you're insulting every one of them.”

 - I’m sorry, but do you even see the fucking irony in this. Oh BOO GODDAMN HOO, a person complains about a character and shit fucking writing from the show because they have her character fucking weave back and forth like a goddamn weeble wobble, and they get personally offended and I should stop because their feelings are hurt second hand? That’s basically what you’re saying - I hate this character, and therefore I hate them. If they behave like Higgins, you’re probably not wrong, but what the hell do they care what I think - someone who has never met them? That’s what we’re drawing from this. In the same complaint that you have that I IDENTIFY WITH THEM, BUT IT’S WRONG ACCORDING TO YOU BECAUSE IT’S NEGATIVE? Eat shit and die. What I hate about the writing is that if you say fucking boo to Higgins, she canonically pouts for a whole fucking episode instead of manning up and using her not insignificant vocabulary. When it was someone else who needed less than legal means to get into this country, she refused to help, but now when it’s her turn, oh fine let’s break some federal goddamn laws. When a character, or a person, can’t take what they dish out, that’s the definition of a hypocrite. When the rules are played different to benefit a white person over a brown person, that’s white privilege. And eventually, you have to fucking learn to not be an asshole - even John Watson hits a threshold and punches Sherlock in the face for being a douchebag. 

Four. My sister is in fact incredibly intelligent. She holds duel bachelors of science, and a masters in technology and is a card carrying member of MENSA. She is very confident in her intelligence. But being told repeatedly that you’re an idiot, it’s a wonder you can speak your own language, how could you be so dumb, you’re lazy, you’re freeloading, you’re whatever, but then turn around and be like ‘why would you be insulted? Obviously I didn’t mean it!’ that’s fucking gaslighting. 

Five. HOW WOULD WE KNOW HOW THE GUYS FEEL ABOUT HER SINCE THEY’RE ROUTINELY NOT EVEN IN THE SAME GODDAMN STORYLINE AS HER AND MAGNUM?!  You wanna know what though? I want to like Higgins. I do. Because when the writing isn’t fucking terrible and making her out like a classist bitch, I love her. When she’s cracking jokes at the poker table? When she’s losing at pool with TC and Rick? When she’s got that funny little smile on her face because she’s so proud she surprised Magnum when she came to get him with the guys when he was stuck down in Triple Frontier? In the episode where they’re on the bus tour and she is the one who offers to go and confront the woman to tell her that her new husband is dead because she takes one look at Magnum and sees that this hits a little too close to home? I love her. Because the writing isn’t terrible, she’s actually human, and it isn’t a story line that isn’t one of the worst tropes to ever exist (really, did you miss the three thousand memos of I hate romance and romantic sub plots and tropes? Fake dating, fake marriage, I literally hate all of it, and they just made it worse by having it make no sense whatsoever in the narrative other than to play Shipping Bingo check off) I actually like her. 

And then some little shit like you comes along, and I go right back to hating her, because of the things you choose to ignore, and the things you choose to defend. If you don’t have to acknowledge her faults, I don’t have to acknowledge her strengths. TL;DR? Eat a dick and die, Nonny fuckwit. 

[gittetj]

by no means is this an excuse for shou's mom, and tbh you've probably sucked up all the information on her you could already, but i remember that when she had her final convo w toichirou, he said that 'shou is starting to show interest in my powers, too' so it's possible she was under the impression that shou was happier living with his father? like, we don't know shou's age at that time but i think it was before he realized his dad was kinda a shitlord. and maybe by the time he realized it 1/2

You’re most welcome to start a discussion about Shou’s mom, she’s an interesting character to speculate about! Now look, you made me go off with receipts and everything haha

Have I ever said anything about Shou’s mom here, other than that comment about how I didn’t think it was forgivable for her to leave her son behind? Well, I still don’t think it is, but she’s just a human being, I don’t consider her inherently bad or good. Even though I can’t find it in me to defend her actions I can still understand the reasoning that might have led to them and how she might have felt about it.

Anyway, it’s not so much the fact that she left that gets to me, it’s the fact that she stayed absent. Leaving I can understand, leaving for a while might have been smart, might have given her some space to consider her situation and show Touichirou that she was serious about not tolerating the path he’d gone down. And it didn’t seem like she or Shou were in danger; as far as I can read there has never been anything in canon suggesting Touichirou was violent or even particularly controlling toward his family (until he beats Shou up and tries to kill him in the WD arc of course).

Leaving Shou with his dad, who we know he looked up to at the time, seems like a pretty straightforward decision. Pulling the kid out of his normal daily routine while everything was still chaotic and his mother wasn’t sure what to do and where to go probably wouldn’t have been in his best interest.

So far so good, but, let’s consider why she left at all.

She realized that Claw was (or was turning into, there’s some timeline stuff that doesn’t add up for me) a terrorist organization, right? She realized they were using violence and breaking the law to reach their goals. She realized that Touichirou was acting increasingly distant and anti-social even long, long before she left.

There’s a scene where Touichirou remembers her taking in a stray cat while Shou was just a baby, kind of to try and coax a caring side out of him. She was already worried about it back then. I operate with the belief that Shou was 7 or 8 when his mother left, it’s debatable, but he was at the very very least 5 - so 5+ years where she most likely continued to try and continued to fail at setting Touichirou straight.

She knew he was emotionally distant and ruthless and uncaring about anything or anyone else than his idea of an esper society. Judging from that one omake where Shou dreams of his mother crying because he was using his powers, she clearly didn’t associate esper powers with anything good.

Touichirou was obsessed with his powers and he spoke about Shou like he was going to grow up and follow in his footsteps, take on the same belief that espers are superior to other people.

As a caring, non-esper mother, does that sound like a man you want to raise your child? Does that sound like a good path for an impressionable 5- to 8-year-old kid? It sure as hell doesn’t sound like one to me. Whether Shou loved and looked up to his dad is completely irrelevant. Of course he did! He couldn’t possibly know any better at that age.

From there on, it all comes down to speculation, because, again, we know so little about Shou’s mom. My personal belief is that she was so disgusted by Touichirou’s actions that it extended to Shou. She came to a point where all she could see in Shou was a mini-Touichirou, so she just… let go of him. I suppose she thought if there was no way to change Touichirou, then there wouldn’t be a way to prevent Shou from becoming like him either.

Maybe giving up on it all was a gradual thing, maybe it didn’t happen until after she left. I think leaving was a spontaneous and mildly selfish action. Staying gone was a not at all spontaneous and highly selfish action.

She put herself first and left Shou behind. It’s that plain and simple. Sure, you have to save yourself first before you can save anyone else, but again, there is nothing suggesting she was in danger and she was in a sound enough state of mind to stand her ground and have a big argument with Touichirou before she vanished. No matter how I look at it I can’t think of anything redeeming to say about it. She knowingly left her very young son behind with an emotionally absent, dangerous, bad, bad man. So, there.

The way Touichirou speaks about her, it sounds like he hasn’t talked to Shou’s mom at all since she left. He didn’t even have any idea Shou had been in contact with her.

Look at him, does that look like the face of someone who had even considered the possibility that Shou’s mom was reachable?

For that reason I don’t believe it was the mother’s initiative to search out Shou; Shou must have made that happen himself. How long have they been in contact? Who knows. Long enough for them talking to each other to become a “from time to time” thing - I’d say a year at the very least.

At least a year where she hasn’t figured out something is wrong, hasn’t tried to pull Shou away from the situation he’s put himself in? Of course, we don’t know that she hasn’t tried to do something, but it sure doesn’t sound like it.

I personally don’t think Shou let her know anything about what was going on, I think he lied to her the whole time, let his mom think everything was fine, because deep down beneath the whole tear-Claw-down-and-save-the-world hero spiel, what Shou’s really trying to do is bring his parents back together so they can be the normal, happy family he vaguely remembers they once were - or at least likes to believe they were.

But, lies or not, it’s hard to believe that there wouldn’t be any signs for Shou’s mom to pick up on the fact that something was very, very wrong. Shou says she always asks about Touichirou, but since Shou has apparently managed to keep it from her what his dad was working toward, her questions must have been very superficial.

That situation at the end of the WD arc is the hardest to wrap my head around. Shou and his mom talk on the phone, he visits her sometimes, but she apparently takes no stock of what Shou’s doing the rest of the time, does little to no mothering, asks about Touichirou but doesn’t take it any farther than that. All of it just gives me the feeling she’s still really reluctant to engage with Shou at all.

So why does she keep up with it? I suppose she’s stuck between regretting her actions and wanting to make things right, and still not knowing what to do with her son who, at least in some ways, must have drifted quite far away from how his mom attempted to raise him when he was little.

I don’t think Shou’s mom ever wanted him out of his life, but her need to cut Touichirou and Claw off is bigger than her desire to hold on to her son. I think that was true when she left and I still think it’s true at the end of the WD arc.

If I’m gonna be really mean about it, I’d say Shou came into the world as a bargaining chip for his mom to try and make Touichirou change and maybe she’s trying to distance herself from that ulterior motive, too, because man, that’s not very nice… Maybe Shou subconsciously picked up on that and that’s why he’s so hellbent on proving to her that he can make his dad see reason.

I’m sorry, this is all very awful, but Shou’s mom just hasn’t done anything to make me think she isn’t as messed up as the rest of the family. Does it make her a terrible person to purposely overlook Shou’s issues and put herself first? I don’t know, but it definitely makes her a lousy mom.

Anyway. mp100 is all about change and overcoming past mistakes, so for Shou’s sake, let’s hope that applies to his mom, too.

And of course, this is just my interpretation of the situation.

[b-kitsune]

Many ways to say I love you: Day One

Kidge-a-palooza 2019 Day One: Fickle Pairing: Kidge (VLD) Universe: Canon (Season 1) Status: Part 1/7

Pidge was used to finding the right answer to all her problems with the use of logic to her benefit.

When she was a little girl, having friends was something that always was difficult from her, she wasn't good at reading the environment and her sharp tongue inherited from her mother didn't help any moment. So, they always turned their backs on her when Pidge tried to be a little more sociable. One day, bored with jokes and bad treatment, she decided that it wasn't for her. Having her family and Bae Bae to keep her company was enough, building walls towards the rest of the world.

When she began to grow up, she didn't feel comfortable with the new curvature of her body, her dresses accentuated her waist and Pidge felt strangely uncomfortable with the use of a bra, so she decided to use jackets twice her size and cover her growth. Nobody noticed the difference; their development was slow anyway.

This was how all her problems were easily dismissed or, if it was possible, left aside. And if this weren't the case, Pidge took the reins of the situation without considering the consequences. It was like this when she infiltrated a government property, passed herself off as a boy and ended up in a lion of 10,000 years old alien technology.

Even then after all the catastrophes in recent months, she felt calm, everything was solvable with a few minutes of thorough analysis. And entering Voltron had helped her to generate flexibility that on earth she hadn't achieved through the traditional ways, Pidge was stubborn after all. And being right almost always worked in her favor.

But at that moment, while working in the green lion's hangar isolated from others coding the recent files of the Galra fleet, even for months of studying the situation carefully within all the possible variables, she couldn't find the correct answer to the fickle attitude of Keith Kogane.

When she met him in the rescue of Shiro in a turn of coincident events, Pidge immediately recognized the bad character made a person.  Place she thought that she had naively earned it.

If Pidge had trouble relating to the rest and isolating himself from the world at the slightest problem, Keith far surpassed her. Many times, she saw herself recriminating him for attitudes that even to her seemed extremist, seeing the irony of who came to the comment. However, they understood each other quite well without talking too much, like Lance and Hunk, Pidge could understand where his bad temper often came from and did her best to help him overcome it.

There were situations that even Shiro had sent directly to talk to Keith as soon as there was friction in the team. And she was proud to have a unique space with her arm mate in which none of the other members, including Shiro, was welcome.

Or so she thought.

''Pidge, there you are!'' Allura entered the hangar with an enviable spirit, Pidge didn't even look up. ''Coran and I have scheduled training for all the paladins today, I need you to be in the training room in half varga.''

''I'm busy here.''

''But it's-''

''This is also important.'' Pidge interrupted her before she insisted.

''All right. I will not try to convince you.'' Allura returned to the exit, leaving Pidge somewhat confused by her complacent attitude. ''In ten ticks, I will deactivate the electricity of the hangar, I hope you aren't afraid of the darkness.''

''Are you serious?'' But when she looked up, only saw the determination on her face, the panic growing inside her when saw her count in reverse. ''Ok, ok, I'm going to get dressed, don't lock me in here!''

''I'm glad you understand!'' Allura patted her back once she ran to the door, closing the hangar until the end of the training. Pidge groaned disappointedly. ''Part of the paladins' job is to keep a constant training of physical activity and strengthening of the link even if they aren't in battle, to keep the body in shape. I expected no less from the green lion's paladin.''

''You threatened me.''

She objected dryly, but Allura ignored her when they both walked inside the castle.

She least wanted was to participate in the castle exercises, much less deal with Keith in the process.

During the last weeks, his attitude had changed strangely towards her, leaving her completely conflicted. It wasn't as if Keith had the same attitude every day, but Pidge had felt strangely uncomfortable with him.

He could converse peacefully with her during breakfast, annoy Lance together, help her with updates on the red lion, and discuss her interests as if they had been close friends for a long time in her room, in a unique and unparalleled closeness in which even she felt his breathing close enough to hit her in the face, often feeling that her heart would come out at any moment. The next day, she could be lucky if he greeted her or looked at her in the corridors. Many times in that order, other times he could spend days when he didn't even address a single word.

Sometimes Keith seemed really worried about her health during the training sessions, coming to give her deep hugs when nobody else looked them, she felt protected and taken care of by those moments where only the two existed. And other days, he could leave her alone to the point of being shot because of him.

There were moments when he stopped her in the corridors to try to say something important, but he only kept his mouth open and returned as quickly as he arrived. Then he commented that he only needed help on anything and had already solved it without problems.

Lately, she didn't understand what he wanted, sometimes he seemed to adore her, and at the second was a complete stranger. When she faced it, it didn't work at all, since he left her alone, alluding that she was only imagining things.

So Pidge decided that he simply had to ignore it.

''Pidge, you finally came!'' She approached Shiro quickly when he greeted her, being the last to appear. ''Now that we're all ready, can start this training.''

'' What will it be this time?'' Lance asked interested while stretching. ''A 2vs3? Race of lions? Battle of gunfire? Or will we have to sit in a circle and tell our secrets?''

''Actually, it's a shooting battle.'' Everyone looked at Shiro surprised at the simplicity of the training.

''How boring''. Pidge commented loudly. Taking a light laugh at the black paladin.

''Oh believe me Pidge, you'll enjoy it.''

 ...

 The exercise was simple with rules similar to a traditional terrestrial MOBA, defeating the central points by going to any of the five roads, in which at the end of this, they would take control of the central command. They could recharge, change and stop whenever they wanted as long as they didn't shoot at themselves. Only, this time, it was the four versus Shiro, in a simulation with night vision, without special binoculars, and they were at a clear disadvantage.

The worst thing was that they had been classified by armament pairs, so Pidge was obliged to deal with Keith throughout the training.

As soon as they found one of the points, they shot it quickly to deactivate it.

''I haven't listened to Hunk for several minutes.'' Keith approached her side to avoid being attacked by the attack bots. But Pidge just grunted unguarded. ''Do you think they will be fine on the other side?''

''I don't know.'' He could see the bewilderment on her face when it was illuminated by a slight explosion.

''Are you angry?''

''No!''

Before being shot, Pidge pushed him behind some boxes they used as shields during the simulation. The noise suggested a group of more than five bots around them. For those who covered their backs to shoot them before being injured and eliminated.

They advanced for many minutes as they evaded and eliminated, but Pidge stumbled over an object and Keith quickly took it to place it on his shoulder, beginning to run to lose sight of them.

With the last reload of his weapon, he was able to annihilate the last one before being caught, feeling the overload on his body. Pidge was complaining about the pain in her foot, surely she had folded it as soon as she fell. Both couldn't follow the path, nor did they have ammunition to defend themselves, it was a matter of time for them to lose against the system.

Keith approached her to lightly touch her damaged foot.

''Are you okay?''

''Yeah ... '' It was barely a whisper. Keith sat beside her when he listened to the gunfire around him. And without avoiding it, he asked.

''Hey ... Is there something I did that bothered you?''

''What?'' Pidge was confused with his question, so Keith preferred to explain himself correctly.

''We were pretty good in the last time, and the next day, you started avoiding me like I had the plague. I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me something you don't want, but, I was happy, you know? You were the first friend I've had after Shiro, and I would feel bad knowing that maybe I did something that bothered you.''

''I thought I had done something to annoy you, Keith.'' Keith turned his head off, listening to her. ''Sometimes you talked to me, and the next second you started to ignore me, then you were days without talking to me and from one moment to another you acted as if nothing happens-

Pidge didn't calculate the exact moment when it happened, but from one second to the next she was strongly pressed to the wall, lips pressing on her and the light shots of the simulation around them as the only memory of reality.

It wasn't exactly sweet or soft, he savored her with fury, with a need incarnate of his own primitive desire. Pidge didn't know how to react, she wanted to take him away for mere instinct to be attacked so wildly, but it was that same feeling that was taking him to take the lapels of his uniform and push him closer to her, causing her hips hit each other.

It was the first time she was kissed by someone. It was the first time she felt a fire rising beneath her stomach as soon as his lips parted to give way to her tongue, tasting her painfully. Keith was relentless, demanding, leaving her with no air and caressing every contour inside her mouth. His hands trembled as approached her waist, letting Pidge know that all the strength he used before was the product of recent nerves.

Was being his first time too?

She could push him away, accept him and answer the kiss, do all that or just get carried away for the moment. But at any moment the illumination was turned on in lights of medium intensity giving when the simulation finished. Pidge and Keith walked away fearfully as if they had been aware of what had happened at that moment, and without another word, got up to go to the exit.

Pidge leaned on Keith's shoulder because of her ankle. There, Shiro, Coran, and Allura waited for them with a big smile.

''Congratulations, you two were closest to the victory, Lance and Hunk are still looking for the exit.'' Allura replied with happiness, both nodded defeated.

''Are you hurt Pidge?'' Shiro asked worriedly.

''I just bent my ankle during training.''

''At least it's not something serious, you have to be careful next time. Keith, can you take her to the infirmary?''

''Oh, yeah.''

They both went to the exit as soon as they heard the screams of Lance rumble on the walls about the difficulty of the exercise. When they walked a couple of meters away from the training room. Pidge approached Keith's face gently, to brush his lips in a delicate movement. Keith looked embarrassed.

''I'm sorry I lost control there, if you don't want to continue, I'll understand ...''

''Kiss me, Keith.'' She cut him, and Keith smiled relieved at his response, kissing her, over and over again being careful not to move on to take his injured foot.

''I wanted to do this for so long.''

''Is that why you were being so strange?'' Pidge could see the shame build up Keith's face with force, nodding nervously. ''Oh my god, you're so emo.''

''And you're very shorty, c' mere.''

Pidge laughed sarcastically when Keith took her into his arms to address the infirmary. Both could have an aggressive passive relationship on the surface, but deep down, they expected that new discovery in the simulation room to change things a bit between them.

[mobius-prime]

199. Sonic the Hedgehog #131

Deep breaths, guys. I know what the cover page says. I know. We'll get to that. Just hang in there. I think you might like what I have in store.

Home (Part 2 of 4): The Gathering

Writer: Karl Bollers Pencils: Ron Lim Colors: Jason Jensen

So not much actually happens in this installment of Home other than the various characters talking to each other about and preparing for the upcoming battle. Since Sonic has been gone, a new Freedom Fighter Special has been constructed that can cut travel time dramatically around the globe. A journey that in the Tornado or on foot (in Sonic's case) would have taken up to two hours can be completed in a mere half hour now, thanks to Rotor's engineering prowess. And thus, Sonic and Tails head out to Old Megaopolis to stop Eggman's twin nukes from launching, along with an… interesting backup team, to say the least.

Man, remember Fiona? It's been ages since we've seen her! It appears that while Sonic was in space, she joined up with the crew in Knothole and has been helping them fight Eggman. That's definitely a better life for her than to be running with the likes of Nic the Weasel, eh? Meanwhile, Knuckles, Julie-Su, Amy Rose, and the other two (active) members of the Chaotix head to Fort Acorn, where General D'Coolette is giving a speech to the soldiers under his command. We've never even heard of this fort before, but according to the general it's been here for ten years, keeping a forward watch on Robotropolis, and this watch has been maintained even after Robotropolis' destruction in case of just such a situation as the current one. With their reinforcements from Knothole, the crew at the fort prepare to defend the city against a massive swatbot assault to lower the forcefield keeping the radiation in check. Back in Knothole, extra measures are being taken to make absolutely sure that even if the worst happens, the citizenry will be safe.

Station Square, for their part, has sent a squad of GUN commandos to help in the battle at Old Megaopolis. The commander of the military is baffled by this decision, wanting to send in their full fighting force, but the president instead opts to trust his allies from Knothole - though just for insurance, he's sent one of his own operatives along for the ride…

Now that's what I like to see! It's about time Rouge got herself some proper screentime. As all this is going on, Eggman waits aboard a docked battleship in the harbor of Old Megaopolis with his assistant M, and orders A.D.A.M. to begin the missile countdown. However, almost immediately, the sound of a biplane puts them on high alert, and Eggman is shocked to see Sonic and Tails bearing down on his location, not having expected them to be able to get here nearly so fast. See, Eggman, this is why you resist the siren call of your ego and keep your damn plans to yourself. All you did was give your enemies ample warning to prepare to foil your evil plot, you idiot!

Mobius 25 Years Later: Prologue

Writer: Ken Penders Pencils: Steven Butler Colors: Jensen

Okay, guys. This is it. We've reached the most Penders thing of all time. This is something that has been hinted at here and there from all the way back in the Sonic In Your Face special to now, and we're finally seeing the culmination of all of that buildup. All the intricate worldbuilding, all the complex character arcs, all the intrigue and political spider webs and back to back wars and everything that the world of Mobius has been through up until now - there's so much to explore, so many directions it could have gone. We're about to see what this world might look like twenty-five years into the future, and with so much rich history to draw from, what might you imagine this story might look like? What genre might it fall into? Well wonder no longer!

It's a drama. It's a teen drama.

There's a reason that Mobius 25 Years Later is widely considered to be one of the worst parts of the comic. The tone of it is just so far off anything else we've experienced so far that it clashes horribly with what we've come to expect. It's not some masterful subversion of expectations or something - in a lot of ways I consider it to be a genuine insult to the rest of the preboot's material up to this point. It's painfully and immediately clear that this is a story Penders has wanted to tell for a while, but, not being able to fit his "middle-aged adults adulting everywhere and being so adult-like while ignoring the feelings and difficulties that ordinary teenagers face" plot anywhere into the rest of the comic, he's opted to just fire the world a couple decades into the future, pair all the major characters off into weird and oftentimes arbitrary heterosexual marriages, give everyone 2.5 children and a titanium picket fence, and then throw in some allusions to the old "war against Doc 'Botnik" here and there lest we forget, entirely understandably at this point, that we're reading a Sonic the Hedgehog comic here. This thing goes on for nineteen whole issues, taking up each subsequent issue's backup story, and ultimately has no real impact on the actual story involving the characters we already know and love. However, this is technically canon, or at least a version of canon (as when you play with alternate realities and multiple timelines, futures are bound to get mixed up here and there), so we're gonna be covering it - all of it. I wouldn't be tempted to skip it anyway, as by delving into each chapter in this trainwreck, we can actually explore why this whole thing fails so hard, and why it's therefore so loathed in the fandom. Plus, I do recognize that some people actually do enjoy this arc for various reasons (one of my close friends does, and has a whole AU of her own relating to it in fact), so I do plan to at least try to be fair in my review - but I really can't hide that I find this whole affair boring as hell, often downright offensive, and ultimately completely out of place. With all that in mind, let's dive in!

We begin with a full page of exposition delivered to us via high school lecture, because everyone knows the best way to establish your worldbuilding is by infodumping it directly into your audience's eyeballs. Apparently, over the last twenty years, Angel Island has been heavily developed into its own independent republic, with a new city, Portal, acting as the center of trade between the island and the mainland below. We're once again introduced to Lara-Su, who, instead of being the badass time-traveling young adult whom we followed before, is now an ordinary teenager taking ordinary high school classes among a bunch of ordinary high school echidnas.

One of the biggest failings of this story is that Penders writes every teenage character how he thinks teenagers act, from his point of view as a middle-aged adult. This becomes abundantly clear the longer you read, as every teenager is a hormone-fueled, authority-defying, entitled, whiny, fickle child who just doesn't understand how the real world works, while every adult is a wise, experienced, and highly logical individual who always knows more than their younger fellows and refuses to pay attention to the whims of mere children. Like, I'm not even exaggerating here - I'm going to be pointing out every instance of this kind of behavior over the entire rest of this arc, and you can't stop me, so nyah nyah. Penders shows so little respect for the mere concept of teenagers, which is a terrible attitude to have not just in general, but especially if you're one of the head writers for an entire series about teenagers saving the goddamn world! Anyway, case in point: the teacher, instead of admonishing Rutan for being a bully, merely snaps at Lara-Su for not acting enough like a "young lady" and tells her to stay after class. Ugh.

Later that day, Rotor arrives on Angel Island as a liaison for the royal ruling couple, Queen Sally and King Sonic, because yes, Sonic literally becomes king in this timeline. He catches a ride from Harry - hey, good to see our favorite dingo still doing well for himself at least - and meets with Espio, who is now apparently Knuckles' secretary or something. At least, that's all I can assume from this weird-ass conversation.

As a matter of fact, yes, Sonic and Sally are bringing their two children, Sonia and Manik, to the family dinner! How very mid-70s domestic family unit of them! Espio informs Knuckles of this over a television screen as the latter broods around in some kind of high-tech facility. Unlike what we've seen of Espio, the years have dramatically changed Knuckles' appearance - his right eye is missing, replaced with a mechanical one, and he sports the cowboy hat that Hawking gave him in the past (you know, the one we never saw again after he received it). While I actually quite like the idea of a main character in the comic losing something as important as an eye, I feel like there's a huge missed opportunity here - instead of just thrusting us into an alternate future where everything is fine but one character is inexplicably missing an eye, how about actually showing us the story of how that eye was lost? Show us a Knuckles who's learning to cope with the loss of an important body part, and having to adjust to his mechanical prosthetic! Go into his feelings about the subject, as someone who has so long been opposed to a faction that thrives on mechanical prosthetics, instead of just skipping over what has the potential to be the most interesting part of this story! Ugh, sorry, there's just nothing that gets to me more than a missed opportunity like this. Knuckles and Espio exchange some tortured small-talk about their kids for a little while, with the only interesting part of the conversation being their discussion of Rotor's arrival and how he's likely here to see someone named Cobar, with whom he apparently has a history. More on that later. Knuckles excuses himself from the conversation, as he has to be home in time for his daughter's "Unveiling" tonight, and as the call ends we zoom out to see that apparently nowadays, the Master Emerald is hooked up to all sorts of technology in this facility, presumably maintaining everything automatically. However, this story isn't done throwing weird curveballs at us yet - it's time to see what our former villains are up to in this future!

There is so much to unpack here. Dimitri, feared overlord of the Dark Legion, is now an amiable cyborg-head-in-a-bubble. Lien-Da, the treacherous second-in-command who regularly spoke of betraying Dimitri and taking the Legion in her own darker direction, is now apparently a single mom who's embraced the domestic life, taking care of her rowdy teenage son while, predictably, complaining about the behavior of kids these days. And weirdest of all, apparently everyone is just fine with these literal former terrorists living in their midst and doing ordinary mom and grandpa things, with Lien-Da even apparently amenable to the idea of trying to make up with Julie-Su because "they're family," despite her history of, you know, erasing Julie-Su's memory multiple times and killing her biological parents as revenge for her birth. I mean, is this what Penders thinks adulthood is? Is he even entirely sane? Does he know the definition of terrorism?

Any-goddamn-way, Knuckles arrives home to his eerily sterile-looking steel-plated mansion that looks more like the lobby of a pharmaceutical laboratory than a place where people live, and greets his loving housewife Julie-Su, who's gained a cute giant ponytail but lost absolutely everything else that made her unique, including her own cybernetic parts and just her personality in general. She informs Knuckles that Lara-Su has locked herself in the bathroom and is having herself a mighty tantrum, refusing to come out to get ready for her Unveiling ceremony, which is apparently the equivalent of a Quinceañera for echidna girls. Knuckles, instead of doing something reasonable like asking her why she's upset, starts aggressively demanding that she come out of her room this instant, while Lara-Su repeatedly yells about how she doesn't wanna. Ugh, teenagers, amiright?

Seriously, I just can't get over how little respect Penders has for teenagers in his writing. Like, yes, I acknowledge that teenagers aren't always the most logical of beings, but they're also not goddamn three-year-olds either. They're old enough to articulate their desires and express their unique opinions, and often do so in very mature ways, especially if they're raised well and treated with the same respect you'd afford any adult. I should know, I was one myself. I would have assumed Penders was one as well at some point, but perhaps he just popped into the world one day as a fully-formed 43-year-old, full of disdain for those younger than himself. It would certainly explain everything we're seeing here.

Anyway, it turns out that the reason Lara-Su is upset is because Knuckles refuses to train her to be a Guardian, and so she whines and yells about it from behind the door like a petulant child as Knuckles continually refuses to actually give her a solid reason why he won't let her be one. When Julie-Su basically forces him to calm the hell down and explain himself, he reluctantly explains that since all the duties of a Guardian have by now been taken over by other functions of their society, he feels there's no longer any need for one, himself included. This is apparently enough to make Lara-Su immediately happy enough to burst out of the bathroom and grab her father's arm, suddenly totally excited to go to her Unveiling as long as Knuckles promises her the first dance. Ah, the fickle mind of a silly, silly teenager!

Kill me.

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 121: Rocknaldo

“I don't love that. I don't accept that.”

Ronaldo Fryman has always been annoying.

From his first speaking role in Cat Fingers, and his first starring role in Keep Beach City Weird, this has been obvious. He’s selfish and insensitive, dominating every conversation he’s a part of and refusing to respect viewpoints that differ from his. He works well in small doses, where his grating nature can be properly diluted, so it’s understandable that an entire episode of Ronaldo at peak Ronaldo is not a widely beloved entry in the Steven Universe canon. But even though I can’t stand watching Rocknaldo, I actually, uh, kind of love it.

That’s a hard “uh, kind of” though. It’s tough to separate my emotions about this one, because I respect such an incredible portrayal of toxic fandom, but I hate toxic fandom so much that I don’t enjoy spending time with it, even as parody. This isn’t an episode I’m ever in the mood for, but it’s just so good at what it’s doing that I can’t stay mad at it.

Ronaldo’s propaganda is first played for laughs, with Steven’s bewilderment at what he’s reading (“They’re adding mind-controlling minerals to our water suppl—they hate men?”) and the vaudevillian back and forth of Ronaldo’s Rock People talking points and Steven’s quick and absolute dismissals. Ronaldo’s embarrassment is a bit of a surprise considering he’s never seemed capable of such a sensation, and his willingness to admit he’s wrong seems like a good sign, but oh boy does that attitude not last.

The mindset that led Ronaldo to make his bad faith arguments in pamphlet form (which he calls Ronalphlets because heaven forbid we get the idea that it’s not about him) persists, and it’s so much worse in conversation than as printed media. It’s not enough that he impedes on Steven’s personal space, but he checks off multiple key items on the Pathetic Internet Troll I Find Useless List (or “PITIFUL” if we’re using proper jargon). He’s casually sexist. He negs Steven into accepting his intrusions. He gatekeeps the concept of being a “true” Crystal Gem, which is lousy in a bubble but so much worse in practice because he’s doing it to an actual Crystal Gem. He gaslights by stating his incorrect views as obvious facts, complete with his own lingo, to make Steven question his own validity. And perhaps worst of all, he takes advantage of Steven’s empathetic nature to pretend that a tolerant person must accept abuse.

On the one hand, Ronaldo’s extreme behavior can be chalked up to severe sleep loss; that’s certainly the angle the episode goes for. But on the other, his toxicity begins well before he decides to stop sleeping, and as someone whose record for consecutive waking hours is an inadvisable thirty-six, fatigue will make you cranky, but it won’t make you more conniving. In cartoon world it’s a clean device to up Ronaldo’s awfulness in a way we can walk back from, but ugh he’s still a trashfire. Zach Callison always deserves kudos, and Rocknaldo is no exception, but Zachary Steel wins out here for capturing such a loathsome version of his character.

A key ingredient for Rocknaldo is timing. Steven just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and this is our first glimpse at how it’s changed him, so what better way to test our all-loving hero than to pit him against a black hole of selfishness? He’s grown a lot since Keep Beach City Weird in a way Ronaldo hasn’t, and while his instinct is still kindness, now there’s a welcome dose of teen moodiness mixed in. 

It takes a while for Steven to realize it’s a grift, but beyond this slowness being a necessity for the conflict of the episode to work, it makes sense for where he’s at this point in the show. Again, kindness is an instinct for this kid, and even when Ronaldo starts getting infuriating, we’ve seen Steven be patient with him before. He’s also got that martyr complex revved up: this isn’t the first or last time he’s been willing to suffer to make someone else comfortable. He knows how much it sucks to be called the wrong name by now, so he’s the only person who consistently calls Ronaldo “Bloodstone.” And considering Rose Quartz wasn’t what he thought, he now feels that he must double his efforts to be his best self to compensate.

Also important is Steven’s willingness to defend his friends from the start, calling the term “Rock People” offensive and defending the Gems’ decision to leave Ronaldo behind on a dangerous mission. He can take Ronaldo’s lousiness all day, but finally snaps when Connie’s worthiness is insulted. It’s sweet that he sticks up for people, but it’s a bummer that he probably would’ve put up with Ronaldo even longer if the only one suffering was himself. Steven would do anything for his friends, but he’s not doing much for Steven.

This is why Ronaldo is the ideal antagonist for an episode coming off Steven’s space adventure. Steven’s selflessness contrasts perfectly with Ronaldo’s selfishness, but instead of a story about selflessness being good and selfishness being bad, we see how selflessness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, it’s good to care about others, but it’s also important to have boundaries and enough self-respect to defend yourself; this isn’t even the first time we’ve gotten this message, but it bears repeating. There’s are limits to tolerance that trolls will always exploit (“White Nationalists aren’t welcome here? So much for the ‘Tolerant Left!’”), and on a show about empathy we need for Steven (and the audience) to see that empathy doesn’t mean being a doormat.

Steven’s patience fuels the episode, but the wheels are greased by the Amethyst and Pearl’s disdain. It’s a minor part of Rocknaldo, but I’m not sure I could survive how grating Ronaldo is without some backup from the Gems.

Garnet may lead a slow clap at Steven’s rousing speech on the nature of acceptance, but Amethyst is happy to crack jokes at Ronaldo’s self-seriousness, down to that perfect impression near the end of the episode. Meanwhile, Pearl openly hates the guy. We don’t even get Sassy Pearl (perhaps the greatest Pearl of all), she’s just bluntly dismissive as a refreshing antidote to Steven’s hospitality. She doesn’t bother to remember his ridiculous new name because she refuses to humor the notion that he’s a Gem, and it totally works for me; misnaming is played for drama when Steven is concerned, as befits the trans allegory that comes to a head in Change Your Mind, but Ronaldo is a human belittling Steven’s identity by pretending he shares it, so “Bloodstone” isn’t worth getting right to her (it helps that “Fryrocko” is also a delightful thing to call somebody). This jokey take on names works in the moment, but more importantly primes us for a more serious take in our last scene.

The final conversation, after a rare time jump, does salvage Ronaldo somewhat. He apologizes and admits he was acting like a jerk, and remains dedicated to helping the Crystal Gems in his own weird way. But the root of his problem isn’t gonna up and go away, and that root, again, is selfishness. He doesn’t fit in because he would rather the world adjust to meet his whims than take a single step towards self-improvement, so he chooses to see himself as “the ultimate outsider.” I guess it’s nice to find a positive spin on qualities you’re not great at, but it reeks of self-importance in a way that’s true to the character but is still frustrating to watch. Ronaldo is very good at being who he is, but I just don’t have much patience for intentionally annoying characters.

Still, we get that lovely moment of Steven talking about his name; it’s not a big revelation that folks only call him Rose Quartz when they’re mad at him, but verbalizing it shows that he’s aware of the pattern. The issue of his name will pop up more and more, becoming a cornerstone of both the Season 4 and Season 5 finales, so it’s nice to discuss it in a calm moment so we can keep Steven’s opinion in the back of our minds when things get messy. Ronaldo, to his credit, asks permission before sharing this story on his pamphlet, and evokes fellow emotionally-challenged antagonist Zuko in his attempt at solidarity. (Fun fact: in no other way is Ronaldo similar to Zuko.)

Moving from Zuko to Zuke: I don’t know where Rocknaldo’s production lined up on the timeline of the Steven Universe fandom's worst elements harassing Jesse Zuke, but I hope Zuke got some level of catharsis in portraying such “fans” in this pathetic manner. Speaking as a guy with a blog, calling Ronaldo “just a guy with a blog” is perfect putdown for a loser that makes himself feel big by pretending to know how to run a ship better than the captain. Imagine if I spent every post saying how much better of a storyteller I am than this crew. Ugh.

Fandoms can do great things, but man are they pros at doing horrible things. During the week that I wrote this review, a 15-year-old Super Smash Bros player got yelled off the internet for beating an established player in an incredible fashion, because while the community adores a young upstart, they can’t stand when that upstart is a girl. And no, I’m not saying the entire fandom did it, just as the entire Steven Universe fandom didn’t target one of the show’s best boarders (note that this article was written when Zuke still went by Lauren), but there are more than enough Ronaldos in every community, and it’s up to people who comprehend the basic tenets of empathy provided by a show they claim to love to stand up to such bullies.

If you don’t like Rocknaldo, that’s just fine. Because you shouldn’t like how Ronaldo acts in it. Liking something doesn’t give you the right to harass people, so do your part in shutting that nonsense down. 

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Just give us an episode with Peridot, Yellow Pearl, Peedee, and Ronaldo trapped in a room already.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

I hate watching this episode, but that doesn’t mean I hate the episode. It does its job very well, which is worthy of admiration even if I’m probably never going to watch it again now that this review is done.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

That Will Be All

The New Crystal Gems

Storm in the Room

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Rocknaldo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[slightly-nerdy-rambles]

Robstarweek Day 3: These Winding Halls (Prompt: Lost)

Today’s story is a bit unusual. It takes place in… not exactly an AU, because it still technically fits with show canon, but what I guess you could call an “alternate future” or an AU to my normal set of headcanons. I call it the “Royal Family Verse” for reasons that will be made clear in the story, and I’m planning to set one Robstar Week entry for each year in this same ‘verse. It’s a bit of a self-indulgent concept, but one I really enjoy playing around in from time to time, so I hope you enjoy it as well!

These Winding Halls

There was no way around it: Emperor Mar’ikesh was well and truly lost.

Again.

Nightwing, as the new name translated, groaned inwardly, though he put on an air of perfect calm and complete awareness of where he was going. This was what he got for insisting the guards leave him to wander the palace in peace. It was also what he got for moving to a planet whose architecture took advantage of its inhabitants’ ability to fly, but he was trying to stave off those thoughts.

It had been about two months now (Earth months; he was still working on Tamaranean time scales) since Starfire had received the news that Galfore could no longer safely hold his position as Grand Ruler, and that she was his best option of successor if the planet was to avoid political strife. After many discussions and plans and preparations, she had been coronated a month later, by necessity moving back to her home planet in the process.

And Robin – Dick, Nightwing, Mar’ikesh, whatever he was supposed to call himself now – had moved with her.

He somehow found himself on one of the many high balconies ringing the palace. After checking to see that he was truly alone, he leaned his arms on the railing and allowed himself a low sigh.

Normally he would have Starfire with him, showing him how to navigate the alien (to him at least; here he was the alien) architecture and pointing out places that she remembered from her childhood. But she was in a meeting with some dignitaries from halfway across the planet, and he did not yet have the political understanding to join her. So instead, he had gone and gotten himself lost.

They were lucky, he supposed, that Tamaraneans were so readily built for space travel. It meant that interplanetary relationships were far from a new concept to them – and indeed, royalty taking outworlder spouses could be spun as a way to strengthen alliances with other planets. That certainly explained Blackfire’s scheme during her brief tenure as Grand Ruler. He was just happy that Starfire – and he, for that matter – had been able to make a proper choice this time.

But that wasn’t going to do them any good if he couldn’t even find his way around a stupid BUILDING!

Heavy footfalls approached, and Nightwing stood up straight and schooled his face into a neutral expression. He mentally checked on the translator in his ear – he was still learning the Tamaranean language, and he was not about to stumble through a half-coherent explanation of what he was doing here to one of the guards – and turned.

It was Galfore, alone for once and leaning on a cane as thick as a man’s neck. He’d suffered a debilitating injury fighting off a would-be assassin, and a Grand Ruler who couldn’t defend Tamaran at full strength was liable to attract challengers.

“Masking your emotions does not become a Tamaranean, by marriage or otherwise,” the old ruler said. “We are an open and passionate people.”

That comment stung far more than it was meant to, but at the same time, Nightwing noticed that Galfore was speaking English for him. He relaxed a little.

“Something tells me it wouldn’t end well if the people knew what I’m feeling right now,” he said, leaning back on the balcony railing and allowing himself a small frown.

Galfore joined him on the balcony. “Oh? And what is that, Your Majesty?”

Nightwing fought back a grimace, though whether it was at his own thoughts or hearing that title even he couldn’t quite say. He shifted his gaze and looked out, along the walls of the palace and off to the vast Gikha Desert surrounding it.

“…Fear, mostly,” he said at length, his voice soft. “Uncertainty. I don’t know if I can do this.”

Galfore chuckled, a low rumble that came from deep within his chest. “Starfire is the Grand Ruler, not you,” he replied, “and she is well able to handle the responsibility. All you must do is support her and be prepared to protect yourself and your family if it becomes necessary. Two tasks which you excel at, I must note.”

Nightwing scowled. “I don’t think I’m so good at the supporting part. She needs someone she can bounce ideas off of, and vent to when things get difficult, and ask for a second opinion on hard decisions. But I don’t know anything about running a country, let alone one that covers an entire planet! And I’m starting to think I never will.”

He ground the heel of his hand into his forehead, the words just pouring out now. “And don’t try and tell me that a lot of this isn’t about how people see you. They need to know that Starf– that Koriand’r is a strong and wise and effective ruler, and stupid as it is, part of how they see her is going to be reflected from how they see her family. Which at the moment technically consists entirely of me. How am I supposed to present myself when I barely have any idea what’s going on half the time?!”

Galfore said nothing, just waited patiently as his young liege laid out his worries. Nightwing drew in a shaky breath. When he continued, his voice was soft again and a little hollow.

“I… When I first decided to do this, I told myself that it was so Starfire wouldn’t have to leave everything from her old life behind again. That if we got married, we’d be there to support each other always, and wouldn’t that be good for Tamaran anyway? To have a Grand Ruler who didn’t have to go in alone, and a royal family whose members were there for one another?” He let his gaze drop and swallowed.

“But now, I’m starting to think that maybe I was just being selfish. That I just didn’t want to lose her. I don’t…”

There was a heavy shifting as Galfore settled against the wall beside him. After a short pause, he asked, “Is it selfish to want to be with the one you love, and who loves you in turn?”

Nightwing looked up at him. “I…”

Galfore smiled. “It is as I said before: we are a passionate people. For many of us, you simply being here is enough.” He studied Nightwing for a moment.

“And you are passionate as well, Mar’ikesh. You are a fine Tamaranean, even if you sometimes mask your emotions.” He chuckled. “Do you know, I realized you and Koriand’r were meant to be together after your first visit here. Had she not told me she intended to arrange her own marriage, I may well have betrothed the two of you myself!”

Nightwing started at that and stared up at him, eyes wide. “You wanted to what?!”

If Galfore noticed the outburst, he made no acknowledgement of it. “And as for everything else: give it time,” he went on. “You have only been here a short while yet, and you will learn. I suspect you have already learned more than you realize.”

Nightwing said nothing at first. He just stared at the old ruler for a long moment, searching his face for any signs of insincerity or false reassurance. He found none, but as his racing thoughts began to slow, he recognized a sort of distant familiarity to his situation.

He realized all at once that Starfire must have felt something like this once: alone, unfitting, lost. No – she most certainly had felt it before, had told him as much. And he had always encouraged her, always let her know she had a place on Earth.

Maybe it was time for him to take his own advice.

At length, he let out a low sigh and said, “You’re right. I guess it’s just... hard sometimes.”

Galfore shook his head. “If this life were easy, I would not have needed Koriand’r as my successor.” With that, he stood up and started to make his way back into the palace. After a few moments, though, he stopped and looked back.

“By the way, I came out here to let you know that the Empress is nearly finished with her meeting; by now it may already be over.” He smiled. “Take a left when you go inside; you will find her down the second hall to your right.”

Nightwing perked up at that, and as Galfore left he started heading that way.

Sure enough, he found her as soon as he turned into the hall. Starfire was talking with one of the visiting dignitaries, but her expression brightened when she spotted him.

“Mar’ikesh!” she called out. “I did not expect to see you so soon.”

Nightwing laughed a little as he approached her, giving her a quick kiss by way of greeting (there were some Earth customs that neither of them were about to give up). “Honestly? Neither did I.”

The nobleman decided to take his leave then, bowing his head respectfully to each of the royal couple as he said his goodbyes. Starfire saw him off before turning back to her husband with a furrow of concern on her brow.

“You did not get lost again, did you?”

Nightwing blushed and reached up to rub the back of his neck. “…You could say that, yes,” he admitted. “But I did somehow end up pretty close to your meeting room, so I think my subconscious might be getting the hang of this place.”

The worry in Starfire’s face melted, giving way to a warm smile. “Then we will just have to explore more together,” she said, extending her hands toward him. “Come with me?”

Nightwing returned the smile and placed his hands in hers without hesitation. “Always.”

[picsofshiro]

You said you have a person on trial. How do you test someone to make sure they are trustworthy enough to run your blogs?

I run a 2 week-1 month trial from the moment they start posting on the blog to see a few things. but before that, here’s what I do. This is based off of how I also handle other social media pages as someone who handles 5+ facebook pages as a chat/post moderator, 5+twitter accounts, and 2+instagram accounts. According to fans/followers who follow our professional work, it helps them feel safe to interact with us as staff doing our job (radio/reporting) and interact with fellow listeners/viewers consuming media, processing it, and discussing it. The same can be applied to other public spaces like these fan blogs. 

1. What’s the person like?

I check out their blogs/have seen them interact before with other people in other online spaces in and out of fandom. This means how they interact with other fans, with interacting with staff/voice actors in public spaces. I love Voltron as a show, I just personally focus my love where it counts. Lots of people complain when interviews come out, hate what happened in canon. Can you be critical of things said? Sure. But the thing is, it feels weird to take anything said at face value when Voltron as it stands is not a completed project so things can change and how we see them as the missing pieces come together. I take everything with a grain of salt and see where things go and I hope the people I work with are the same way and are cordial when interacting with others on their thoughts on characters, ships, the show itself and when interacting with the kind people working on Voltron.

More for what I look for and how I run stuff is under the cut and the standard I try to set for myself and for others who wish to work with me cause this is more volunteering to help out, it’s not technically our content to own, its fan run, and nobody is paid. But if you’re gonna do it, you gotta give it the love it deserves.  

2. Enforce set rules.

I got common sense stuff like don’t let bigotry slide when it’d directed at us as mods and people interacting on the posts that are hosted here. Block ant!’s on site since they are a source of a lot of why our fandom is accused of being garbage vs any other group within the fandom that’s chill, especially those who still currently openly hate/dehumanize other fans minding their business. Block them if they interact with the blog via reblogs/likes if you catch them cause that stuff spreads to other blogs who assume our fandom experience is for them — it’s not. For the most part, blocking is good if I’m/the mod running a blog is just tired and doesn’t wanna deal with inane bs or things we’ve already answered if a user or anon didn’t do their research to look through my history of asks and whether or not I’ve addressed their question/didn’t read our response because they’re not looking for our actual answer, they’re looking for something else. I don’t deal with people spreading misinformation like pushing br0ganes which is currently confirmed never a thing by staff repeatedly, pushing whether or not a ship is canon (I have even politely said that I appreciate sheith’s bond over at pics of sheith but never said it was canon as a ship), and I definitely don’t like individuals that shit on characters/ships or how others express their excitement over content or their interpretations or fanon fun. And I don’t appreciate when people get upset with staff for saying something wrong when the show is not completed and they can only say certain things in a certain way if they choose to answer questions at all then attack other fans and justifying it because they’re upset. Nobody gets to throw a tantrum and hurt others. Take responsibility for shitty behavior

3. Choose your battles - carefully decide what discourse to address.

I understand that a lot of people don’t have the time or mental energy to do what I do when I happen to bring down people who claim to have some higher morality/authority to speak from. Sometimes it’s outright bs and I block immediately, not giving my attention, move forward, nobody has to know about it unless I want them to. Maybe I joke about it. But that’s it. I’ve actually just skipped out and blocked some IP’s on this blog cause it was a “nah” kind of day. But I make sure to get a screencap, maybe even post it to my main blog because my main blog is linked in the description of these blogs so people can dispute why they were blocked from interacting with the blog. Then we can examine how I misunderstood a message if that’s the problem, cause that happens. It’s the internet so people’s tone of voice is lost, people might have brain issues that cause them to type up the wrong stuff or they insist they said what they said and I have to see if I’m not the only one “misunderstanding" it cause we’re all trying to communicate here, in the common English language which his a clusterfuck anyhow. It happens where I just can’t read shit but I have and try to rectify my mistakes.

And when I do address it, I do so point by point, concisely. That’s what I get for having a mother who is a paralegal and helped write legal arguments, deconstructs her child’s stupid arguments when he got in a dumb ass fight with her. I learned from it and now I can frame my arguments properly to follow logical structures based on truth, understanding how the English language works to examine what they said and what it sounds like, and show the true meaning of what was said which is often something pretty screwed up. They usually (as far as I know between one anon and the next) never come back to bother me again. Mods have to be able to have the stamina to handle it, and run it by me to make sure the argument is sound because we try to keep ourselves and everyone else safe.

4. be open to opportunities

If they continue to argue with me on my main blog which is where I’m fine dealing with discourse unless it turns into violent threats/harassment, I’ve already blocked them across the board at all the picsof blog urls I have in my account. But let’s say this person has come to understand why they are wrong…then I can find their name, unblock them hopefully, and everything moves forward and I keep tabs to show that they’ve changed their behavior. Hopefully because tumblr tells me if i block an anon, that i can’t ever undo it but I’ve also heard it’s still possible so who knows really on this broken website?

How I run this tight ship and expect others to run it (no pun intended).

1. Screencap for an hour or two - organize by character/ship -> season -> episode folders and number the images so that it’s in order frame by frame, then play around with the same image and crop accordingly just for fun. This gives random choices and variety for the next part.

2. draft and tag - for characters I use canon voltron legendary defender names

#keith #voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld

vs keith kogane which his defender of the universe. I’m a stickler for canon which is why i also tag

#shiro (how he’s often referred to) #takashi shirogane (in written canon and uttered by his own character in the dnd episode) #voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld

for a ship blog, i follow a similar formula but people get upset if they are looking for 1 character but don’t care for the ship so i try to be courteous and leave out characters and focus on the ship - hence the following:

#sheith #voltron legendary defender #voltron #vld

then as a mod, i have fun and put my thoughts into the screencap at the end of all that when I feel like it, for example #keith looks cute here / #shiro just [redact] me / #wow they hold each other so tenderly

Do this until i get between 90-200 posts in my drafts, then hit queue at random to scramble up the order in which they queue. Will the blog visitors see a screencap from episode 1? or episode 10? nobody knows. But it gets boring if i just queued everything in order which is why I do this. Predictability is boring.

3. Set queue post to 3 posts a day and leave, this is a fucking hobby and isn’t your life - focus on what needs to be done, this is just low maintenance fun. (Look at me rhyming!) Follow the stuff above with how you handle discourse and of course the mod who should obviously love the blog of their focus can have fun with any individuals asking about headcanons/ideas about ships. I wouldn’t give someone who doesn’t ship Allurance because it will show in their work that they don’t care when they’d rather have Shance and vice versa. Or a Pidge fan running a Hunk blog when they’d rather do Pidge. For these other blogs outside of the 3 I’m managing right now, i might have teams of people simply because we can all keep tabs on each other and be held accountable for our actions if we make mistakes. 

[nancykali]

Stancy and Monster Hunting Trio headcanons post-season 1 and post-season 2

If Stoncy (Steve x Nancy x Jonathan) wasn’t canon before season 2 (which it is, I’m writing it) this is how I think things would go with the monster hunting trio drama (in a nutshell)

Disclaimer: this is messy af and I just wrote it quickly to make myself feel better

Between November 1983 and October 1984 (post season 1)

Steve defends her against any of their peers, especially Tommy and Carol, calling her a slut

Steve teams up with Jonathan without Nancy knowing to shut down the rumors that she “sleeps around” –which are mostly caused by the graffiti on the theater sign, but also Tommy and Carol being shitheads

Steve gets teased for being a cuckold and letting Nancy cheat on him, but he doesn’t care, because he knows she didn’t and he, Jonathan, and Nancy had a healthy discussion together about it and Steve knows the truth

Steve apologized to Nancy repeatedly about the theater sign. He accepted that she needed space in the weeks after they fought the monster. Nancy still loved him, but she was hurting and confused and grief-stricken, both about Barb and for having feelings for Jonathan, and also hurt that Jonathan seemed to be ignoring her

When Nancy finally tells Steve she forgives him and she wants to be with him, Steve can’t believe his luck. He knows he doesn’t deserve her forgiveness, but selfishly he’s so grateful to have her back. He knows from that day on he’ll do anything for Nancy, and he’ll always love her.

It’s the beginning of December, the week before finals. For days after they’re officially together again, Nancy just cries with Steve in his car after school, unable to talk about Barb, agonizing over not being able to tell Barb’s parents. Steve doesn’t know what to say, but he always holds her as she cries and tells her she can tell him anything.

Nancy never cries around Steve, or anyone, after that week. Her guilt is so great that she barely speaks about Barb from that point. She tells herself Steve doesn’t deserve to be constantly reminded of it, it’s not his fault she chose to send Barb away that night. She quietly punishes herself, for months, agonizing over what she can do.

Between October 1984 and January 1985 (during and post-season 2)

After Steve tells her in the library to act like everything is okay, to go to the Halloween party and act like a stupid teenager, she resolves to do just that. She tells herself Steve is right, she can’t expect that he would agree with her that they should tell Barb’s parents. But there’s a quiet anger in her chest that she’s afraid to acknowledge.

The night of the party, after Jonathan takes Nancy home, he decides to lie to Nancy if she asks about what happened tonight. He knows what it’s like to feel guilt over losing someone. Nancy doesn’t deserve to lose Steve over this, no matter what she said to Steve at the party.

After their argument in the alley, Nancy is afraid to go after Steve. She runs what he said through her mind, over and over, what she said to him when she was drunk. Words she can’t even remember, but the way Steve said them, they sound so eerily familiar. They’re things she’s told herself on the worst nights, when the nightmares wake her, when the insomnia keeps her awake. She’d told herself so many times she didn’t deserve Steve, she didn’t deserve anything, because Barb was dead and she wasn’t. And she couldn’t tell anyone what it felt like to lose her best friend. She couldn’t talk to Steve about it anymore because it just would hurt both of them.

“We killed Barb.” She hated herself for saying that to him. Steve had done nothing wrong but love her. But how could she deserve his love after this? She had been tired of pretending, she couldn’t anymore. But she had never pretended to love Steve. But was her love for him wrong? Did her love for Steve kill Barb? Was it even love? Was it just her guilt? She didn’t know. She didn’t know anymore. That’s why she couldn’t answer him when he said “tell me that you love me”. He didn’t understand. She didn’t know because Barb’s death was always at the front of her mind, shadowing everything else. She’d tried to act, for so long she tried to act like it was all fine, that Barb wasn’t dead. But it was a lie. She couldn’t separate lies from truth anymore.

The anger returns full force. Against herself, against Steve, against the lab. The lab. It’s all their fault. She’d lost Barb because of them. She’d lost Steve because of them. She has to do something. Steve was right. She was bullshit. But she was going to change that.

The night at Murray’s, Nancy keeps thinking “I don’t retreat. I retreated with Steve, I pushed him away because of my guilt, but I will confront these feelings for Jonathan. I won’t hide them like I did with Steve and let them hurt me anymore,” and in the back of her mind she repeats “do I love Steve? Why would Murray think I don’t love him? Why would I pretend to love someone? Was I pretending?” and she has to keep shoving the questions down because she has to prove something to herself, and keep reassuring herself that their plan will work, that the lab will fucking burn to the ground and Barb’s parents will know at least part of the truth.

She and Jonathan don’t have sex. She kisses him for the longest time and fights back tears. And finally she tells him. She tells him as much as she can about what has been on her mind since that stupid argument in the alley. How she can’t stop thinking she’s been lying to herself this whole time, about loving Steve, about blaming Steve for her pain that night at the party and not meaning to. She misses Steve, but she missed Jonathan too and she hates herself for it.

And Jonathan rubs her back and says he’s sorry over and over, telling her he was an asshole for not talking to her after Will came back. And he promises he’ll help her sort everything out with Steve. Even if Steve won’t accept her apology, even if he doesn’t understand, Jonathan will be there to support her when she talks to Steve, if she wants him to.

So after the gate is closed, Jonathan goes with Nancy to talk to Steve. Nancy tells Steve everything she’s been feeling, been holding back, how she was confused and guilt-ridden but she shouldn’t have taken that out on Steve. And she tries to say she wasn’t pretending to love him, she would never pretend to love him. But that morning in the alley she was afraid to lie to him, because she didn’t know what she felt anymore.

And she breaks down crying in front of both boys, crying in front of others for the first time in months, and confesses that she loves both of them and doesn’t know what to do.

And Jonathan and Steve hug her and Steve looks at Jonathan and says “It’ll be okay, Nance. I love you too.”

And they start a poly relationship with each other and live HEA