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hearts4renaa · 1 year ago

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OH MY, LOVE IS A LIE!

summary: it's all over now, but he's still thinking of you. featuring alhaitham, diluc, kamisato ayato, and zhongli. part 2 to you're losing me.

w/c: 2.1k in total a/n: i am really churning out angst for yall. inspired by hits different by taylor swift

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat. Curse the space that I needed.

“There’s no way you still have that.” Kaveh comments as he walks past Alhaitham in their little library of the home. Kaveh looks at the small crystal in the scholar's hands, cringing.

Alhaitham glares at the blonde. “Shut it.” He grumbles, twirling the gem in between his fingers. He intended to give it to you over dinner, as an apology for the stunt he pulled two weeks ago. The guilt took over his body like a fever. He was sleepless for a few nights, and you slept in the guest bedroom. Eventually, he drew to a conclusion. The two of you had been dating for quite a while; maybe it’s time to take it to the next step.

He invited you to a proper dinner that night, and you accepted despite the growing tension between the two of you. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t realize the two of you had very different plans for that night. He was there to take it further. You were there to end it.

Kaveh’s scoff takes Alhaitham out of the depths of his memory. “Don’t you have better things to do than nag me?” Alhaitham spit out. “Pay your rent, perhaps?”

Kaveh rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. “It’s crazy how you’re talking to me how you talked to them.” A glare made its way into his amber eyes. “Thought you would’ve learned to watch your choice of words after what happened.”

Alhaitham had no rebuttal. He knew Kaveh was right. He didn’t think his words or actions carried much weight until you were crushed under them. His words and actions chipped away at what he loved until eventually, nothing was there at all. How did he not notice? How did he not see the storms in your eyes? How did he not hear the tiredness in your voice? How could he let you fight for the relationship alone, while he stood on the sidelines as it withered to nothingness? His eyes redirect from Kaveh to the gem in his hands. It’s like he can still see your face in the reflection. Like the love was still there, shimmering and sparkling the same way the gem did in the afternoon sun.

“And yes, I do have better things to do.” Kaveh says, walking towards the entrance of the house. “I’m heading to lunch with a friend of mine.” A knock pierces their conversation, effectively saving Alhaitham from having to face the harsh truth from Kaveh of all people. “Ah, they’re here!” Kaveh leaves the library entirely, leaving Alhaitham in the room alone. He hears the front door open. “Y/N!” Kaveh greets. Alhaitham freezes.

What the fuck?

“Just one second, I forgot something in the study.” He hears Kaveh say, and footsteps are fast approaching. Kaveh retrieves his left behind item, but not before Alhaitham stops him. The grip he has on Kaveh’s forearm is almost painful.

“What the hell?” Alhaitham’s voice is bitter. Jealous, even.

Kaveh yanks his arm away. “Just because you lost the love of your life Y/N doesn’t mean I have to lose my friend Y/N.” Kaveh’s voice is firm. Soon enough, he’s walking away and out the door.

Alhaitham feels the sorrow truly kick in. All the times he asked for space from you. All the time he could’ve spent with you. Now, the space between the two of you was farther than ever before. And he can’t do anything but look at the gem in his hand, wishing he could run to you more than ever.

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense, why the wound is still bleeding?

He won’t admit it, but Diluc’s hands were beginning to ache from the endless action of polishing the glasses. He insisted on working the bar tonight, letting the usual bar staff have some well deserved rest. Peering down, Diluc takes the time to examine the many scars on his hands. They were dotted on his skin, and they all held a story. A burn. A scab he kept picking at. An accidental cut. Either way, they all had an experience leading up to each wound.

He realizes how much of a hypocrite he is. Scolding you for wanting the adventure, for getting a minor injury as if he doesn’t do ten times more fighting than you did. Worried endlessly for your safety, as if he doesn’t risk his life on the daily. Diluc has faced many wounds over his life, but the worst one he’s experienced was losing you.

The breakup wasn’t dramatic. The two of you sat across from each other next to the fire, and you told him of how you lost the love. Of how the flame burned so slowly than it burned out. The two of you agreed to end things together; at least, that’s what you think. He didn’t lose anything. His flame still burns as brightly as it did in the beginning. Perhaps his flame burned so bright that it overtook yours. You packed your things and left Dawn Winery. He saw you off with a polite wave, but the moment the door shut, the dam burst and the tears flowed.

Now here he was, without you, repeating a stupid polishing action until the door opened. There you were, with the Traveler and Venti of all people. It’s awkward for a moment, both of your eyes darting around to avoid the other’s. Eventually, the three of you get a table to sit at. As your group passes by, he hears the Traveler quietly say something to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I didn’t think he’d be working today.” He hears you laugh. Oh, how he wishes he was the source.

“Don’t worry about it,” You say. “I’m basically over him.”

Diluc feels a sting in his chest, and he has to stop himself from dropping the glass in his hand. That hurt. He certainly wasn’t over you. The night passes, and you are engaged in conversation. Diluc takes the chance to steal fleeting glances in your direction.

The weapon on your back has more wear and tear. Your bag looks heavier, more used. He sees minor scars on your skin. A few on your arm, one on your cheek, some on your calves. It takes everything in him to not fret over you, but he knows he can’t. You’re not his to lose anymore. But most of all, Diluc sees the way you exude light. Cheer radiates from you, and he doesn’t think he’s ever seen you more beautiful than you were right now.

You may bear more scars than when you were with him, but he’s never seen you happier.

You were the one that I loved! Don’t need another metaphor, it’s simple enough.

Ayato runs a hand through his hair while walking the streets of Inazuma City. He was on the way to a wedding attire fitting, for his wedding to another Inazuman noblewoman. The wedding isn’t for another month, so it’s crucial to ensure that all clothing is prepared and ready to allow ample time for unforeseen circumstances. On the way to his appointment, Ayato passes by a familiar restaurant. He softly smiles, remembering how he used to visit often. Then, his smile is replaced with a frown when he realizes he hasn’t been in two months. There was no reason for him to eat there anymore- he used to eat there with you.

He’ll never forget how puffy your eyes were when you broke things off with him. It was obvious you were crying, and with how the conversation was going, Ayato was about to cry too. “I can’t do this anymore, Ayato.” Your voice sounded exhausted. Ayato hated knowing he was the reason for your sleepless nights. He didn’t understand why he snapped at your skepticism over the arranged marriage. He couldn't, and wouldn’t ever imagine you marrying someone else. He understood. The problem is, he understood too late. Now, it’s been two months and he still doesn’t go a single day without thinking of you.

Finally, Ayato arrived at his destination. The tailors was a quaint little shop in a less busy corner of Inazuma, but many of the locals purchased ceremonial clothing from the owners. They’re said to have a very keen eye, even when it comes to choosing employees. Ayato slides the door open, and he is greeted by a worker.

“Welcome! Are you here for a fitting or-”

He could recognize that voice. There’s no way. His eyes widened at the realization, and you did too, seeing how your words trailed off.

“Y/N.” He breathed out your name as if he had been suffocating prior. You take a second to compose yourself before putting your professional facade back on. He is a customer. He is no more than that.

“Are you here for an appointment?” You ask.

Your formal tone throws him off. He remembers your cheery usual tone from back then, and he wishes nothing more than to go back to those times.

“Yeah.” He nods. “It’s…wedding attire.”

You feel your breath hitch in your throat. Of course, he’s still going forward with the marriage. After all, he made it clear that you have nothing to offer for the Kamisatos.You nod curtly before gesturing him to a fitting station. “Please allow me to grab my tools.” You give a small bow, ignoring eye contact. You turn away to head towards the shop’s tool drawer with measuring tapes and such. When you’re certain he cannot see your face, you allow your bottom lip to tremble slightly.

Meanwhile, Ayato’s eyes stay trained on your figure. For the two of you to break up, then have you be the person attending to him during the wedding fitting? The Seven must be laughing at him as he experiences this cruel twist of fate. Suddenly, it hits him. The two of you are part of each other’s past. It’s over. You aren’t in each other’s present lives, and you most likely won’t be part of each other’s futures.

You might be a stranger now, but he will forever recognize your voice in a sea of people.

A wrinkle in time, like the crease by your eyes. This is why they shouldn’t kill off the main guy.

“Who do you think the lucky one is?” The women of Liyue gossip. Their eyes are fixed on Zhongli, following him like a hawk. The man in question is shopping for flowers. However, he seems to be interested in the large bouquets of flowers, the ones far too large to be classified as “just felt like it” flowers. He takes his time to examine each flower thoroughly. He checks the stems, petals, if they’re fully bloomed. Uncommon than most men nowadays, Zhongli was truly looking at every factor while shopping for these flowers, which is why the women were so interested to know who they were for.

On Zhongli’s end, his senses were being absolutely bombarded with the signature floral scent. Zhongli’s taste in flowers only gets incredibly picky around this time of year. After all, the anniversary of your death is upcoming. He only wants the best flowers for you, since he couldn’t give you the best when you were still alive. If there’s one memory he’ll never forget, it’ll be how you still told him that you loved him, even in your final moments.

“Excuse me, are you looking for anything in particular?” A worker asks him.

Normally, he’d politely decline and continue about his day. But he can’t. Not when said worker looks identical to you. His eyes are wide, scanning the person up and down. Same hair, eyes, facial structure. If he didn’t know better, he’d think you were right in front of him. Unfortunately, Zhongli does know better. He knows that you are no longer alive. And he knows that he is the reason for your death.

He regains his composure. “I’m alright, thank you.” His smile is polite, but not sincere.

"Ah, alright. I’m sorry if this sounds weird but…” The worker started. “Are you doing alright? I’m sorry, I just felt like I had to ask you. Gut feeling, I guess.”

For a second time, Zhongli was taken aback, but he answered nonetheless. “Yes, just trying to find some nice flowers.” The worker smiled. It amazes Zhongli how much they look like you.

“Are you buying flowers for someone?” They ask.

“Yes,” Zhongli pauses. “They’re for someone who is very dear to me.”

The worker points to a bouquet. “How about this one, then? It’s one of my favorites.”

Zhongli smiles. They were your favorite too. He lets out a chuckle at the situation. He had always hoped to see you again, but he didn’t think you’d visit him like this. “That one looks great.” He responds.

He looks up at the sky, and he hopes you know that in every other universe, he would’ve chosen you.

#genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #diluc x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #ayato x reader #genshin angst #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin #morax x reader

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shomatoriashi · 6 days ago

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11/03/24; 06:20pm

sylus x fem.reader

love and deepspace - spy au | canon divergent | inspired by the kingsman movie series

warnings: unedited; 18+ content; potentially ooc; alcohol use; death of a family member; angst to fluff / smut; sylus is referred to skye in this story / au.

[ minors don’t interact; by choosing to interact with this content, you have consented to viewing something n-fw despite the warnings. ]

alternate title: the spy who loved me.

sylus qin-

a name that was synonymous with fear among the underground world.

much of his background was left a mystery, but that didn't stop people from trying to fill in the missing details with their own rumors-

like how he wasn't human due to the destructive evol he carried; that he had struck a deal with the devil himself to obtain such an ability.

or how his movements were as quick and silent as that of shadows, and that sylus had millions of eyes around the world due to his connection to the crows-

yet there was one fact that remained true regardless of what the rumors said, and it was how that man was a vital part of onychinus, a hidden sect made up of skilled assassins and spies that only a select few of people even knew about-

which included your father, the current head of your family's mafia.

he paces around his office, trailing his eyes over his mahogany desk before landing on a picture of you, his sole daughter. his gaze was solemn when he picks up the picture frame, carefully tracing at your smiling features as you were being held within your mother's embrace.

you had turned 24, celebrating your birthday with your mother as you wore the bracelet she had given you that day as a gift. looking at this picture causes the man's heart to clench almost painfully within his chest.

his wife was still so vibrant; how could he have possibly known that her life would end just a mere few weeks later? a bullet had pierced through her heart, his men unable to shield her when a rival faction had targeted her. and upon realizing that your mother had died-

you had changed drastically.

no longer were you the starry-eyed girl who clung to her parents, basking in their unconditional love for you. now, you became someone that had little regard for her own life-

you drank copious amounts of alcohol, going out to bars every single night with every intention to get blacked out drunk. the pain of losing your mother took its toll on you, and truly, your father understood where this behavior was coming from. the loss of your mother was enough to push you over the edge.

despite his best efforts of trying to soothe your broken soul through various means (buying you a new car, filling your room with all of the things you loved)-

it didn't work.

and if he couldn't stop you soon, then he would lose you, too.

he no longer trusted his men to truly keep you safe during this dire time in your life-

which was why he resorted to hiring the devil himself to be your shield.

{ ... }

when sylus was told he had a new client by luke and kieran, he was barely interested and simply waved off their excitement.

however, once the twins showed him the down payment the man, mr. zero, had given him-

he was all too willing to meet with the man to see what his next job would be like. using one of the many bars he had owned as a meeting spot, sylus had sent his client a text detailing the time and place with a thinly veiled warning of what would happen if he was ever late.

adjusting his suit, sylus brushes back his hair while entering the club, crimson eyes scanning the area before heading towards one of the private rooms. the bouncer greets him before opening the door, revealing a middle aged man seated in front of him.

the door was heard shutting from behind him, and sylus takes a brief moment to finally assess zero's features. as the onychinus leader stared at him, he noticed how the man appeared much older than he probably was. a weary expression was seen on his face, and even when he was smiling at him, it was filled with a bitterness.

"i hope that my payment was enough to get your attention, mr. qin." sylus hums, going towards the bar to pour him and mr. zero a shot of whiskey. "you could say that... after all, there's not many people who would give me a down payment of 50 million."

after pouring the drinks, sylus hands zero a glass before sitting across from him. he takes casual sips of the amber liquid, allowing the smoky flavor to burn down his throat as he waited for the older man to speak. zero runs a hand across his hair, tilting the glass up to his lips as he downed the shot of whiskey within seconds. as he slams down the glass, zero pulls out a photograph before sliding it across the table.

setting his drink to the side, sylus takes a moment to admire the picture, seeing a young woman smiling with what he assumed was her mother.

"that's my daughter and her mother... my wife- she was killed a year ago, and i have never been able to forgive myself for being unable to protect my wife." sylus frowns at the image, detecting the way zero's voice broke down. "my daughter still grieves the loss of her mother, and i'm afraid that she'll go down a path that not even i can save her from."

"please, i beg of you, mr. qin. i need you to protect my daughter by whatever means is necessary. if you do this for me, with each month that she remains safe- at least until i can finally bring my wife's murderer to justice, i swear to you, i'll give you 10 million."

sylus's eyes darken with amusement, tilting up his own glass of whiskey as he downs the shot in one gulp. letting out a satisfied sigh, sylus sits back against the couch while spinning the glass around his pointer finger, "10 million per month... and if my services were to last an entire year-"

"money is not an issue when it comes to protecting the ones that i love." zero's gaze was filled with a determination, making sylus break out into an almost shit-eating grin.

perhaps the best clients were the doting fathers who would give anything for their daughters.

{ ... }

your dad had put you on lockdown again.

but were you going to let that stop you?

hell no.

surrounding the borders of your room were dozens of men that worked for your father. not only had they put an external lock on your bedroom door, but a tracker on your phone as well.

deep down, you knew the true reasoning as to why your father kept you in such a luxurious cage-

but you refused to acknowledge it.

feeling your heart begin to clench with pain, you look away from your door and allowed your gaze to land on the shimmering gold settled on your right wrist. as you take in the various charms and the way the gemstones glittered below your bedroom light, a memory of a loving smile was brought to the forefront of your mind-

a loving smile you would never see again.

panic was felt rising against your throat, the raw pain of it all threatening to spill out of you as bitter and harsh as bile. your heart continues to pound, filling you with a desperation as you quickly headed toward your window.

fueled by your own grief, you push open the window and breathe in the cold air, allowing the rush of adrenaline to course through you. your eyes look at the distance between the edge of your window and the ground below. knowing that this was the only way for you to get out of your stifling prison, you began to climb out of your window sill, trying to hang on to the best of your abilities as you decided when the best time to jump was.

as you focused your attention on the pristine grass that was settled below you, the sounds of a motorcycle passing by makes your heart jump within the confines of your throat. your eyes become quickly blinded by the searing light, making you lose your grip on the windowsill.

your body make its quick descent to the ground, and you clenched your eyes shut, preparing yourself for the painful impact-

yet the impact never comes, with your ears managing to pick up the sounds of something shift within the air. your eyes become wide, seeing a tall man with silver hair appear in front of you as he captures you in his arms.

time seemed to stand still, with the perfect stranger shielding you as he landed on the ground with an audible grunt. he ends up taking the brunt of the fall while keeping you safely tucked away with his embrace. blood was felt rushing to your ears, making you feel dizzy as you steadied yourself by placing the palm of your hand against his chest.

you found yourself straddling this man's waist, lips parted as you drank in the sight of him. never before had you seen such a pure, masculine beauty quite like him, with full lips and ruby red eyes that could make your heart melt-

and judging from the sheer girth of his arms wrapped around you, the strength of his body was evident to you as well.

he smirks at you, and you wince when he places the pad of his thumb against your lips, "what's this? has a princess just escaped from her castle?"

your mouth goes dry upon hearing his voice, and had you been given more time, you would have basked in his voice-

however, sudden cries of your name was what succeeds in breaking you out of your reveries. with a gasp, you cling to this hot stranger and look at him with pleading eyes.

"please, you've got to get me away from here, i beg of you."

he shoots up an eyebrow at you, but thankfully does not ask questions. taking you in his arms, he takes quick strides toward the single motorbike settled on the street. you take in the sight of the sleek vehicle, eyebrows furrowed when you saw two helmets settle on the seat.

but you were given little time to think about it, feeling your bare feet land against the concrete as he relinquishes his hold on you. tossing you the other helmet, he gestures at you to get behind him, "if it's a getaway you want, it's a getaway you're going to get, sweetie."

calls of your name were getting louder now, which prompted you to get on the back of his bike while donning the helmet. as he revved up his bike, you made sure to flash your middle finger at your father's men all while clinging to the front of your savior's chest.

{ ... }

sylus wasn't expecting you to be so damn alluring up close. as he felt the way your body was pressed against his back, a strange warm begins to surround him, the sensation being enough to make his heart begin to race steadily from within his chest. when sylus made his escape from your home, the change in your demeanor was immediate.

the sounds of your melodious laughter echoes from behind him, and he sees the way your hair whips from behind you. reaching a stoplight, he brakes in time, balancing his bike while taking a moment to look back at you-

which ends up being the biggest mistake he could make.

he feels the way your head rests against his broad back, noticing the almost wistful expression in your eyes. ignoring the way his heart began to pound, sylus focuses on the traffic light. deciding to hide his emotions behind a snarky remark, he begins to speak, "it's not normal for spoiled princesses like you to get on a bike with a stranger."

sylus swore he could hear your pout, "i'm not a princess... i'm just... i just want to forget."

he hears the way your voice breaks and frowns, ready to say something, but stops when the light turns green. shaking his head, sylus chooses to forget about your pain, recalling the reason why he was put in this situation to begin with.

strengthening his resolve, sylus picks up speed and weaves expertly across the city, the sound of your laughter no longer echoing from behind him.

{ ... }

your savior ends up taking you to the top floor of a high-rise apartment. carrying the two helmets within his hand, you watch as he extracts a sleek black key card from his pocket, opening the door for you to step in first.

"after you, princess."

"i have a name." you fold your arms across your chest, telling the man the syllables that make up your name. amusement was heard in his voice, and you forced yourself to remain calm when his rich voice repeated your name.

"i like that name, it suits a feisty woman like you. as for me, you may call me skye."

as you step into his apartment, you take in the the luxurious furniture, recognizing the brands while your hands traced at the onyx figurines of crows settled on the table. you look back at the man and scoff, "skye? i'm sorry, but that name does not suit you at all."

you look away from him, becoming interested in the cabinet that was filled with expensive bottles of liquor, completely missing the offended look on skye's face. you step closer to the cabinet, pulling the glass door open before gripping at a bottle of cognac.

before you could twist the cap open, sylus stops you by placing a hand around your wrist. a stern expression was settled on his face, "and what do you think you're doing?"

"i'm trying to forget." a flash of emotion was seen in his gaze, yet just as it appears, it was gone within mere seconds. even when you attempted to remove your hand from his grip, skye doesn't relent, managing to take the bottle of cognac away from you.

"whatever you're trying to forget, i'm sure using liquor isn't the answer."

skye places the bottle back into the cabinet, slamming it shut before taking your hand. as he grips at your wrist, you caught sight of your bracelet shimmering against your skin-

making your throat close up in response.

caught up in your painful reveries, you were dimly aware of how skye places you on a seat, settling you in front of a dining table. your eyes never once looked away from the bracelet your mother had given you-

the last gift you would ever receive from her.

you think back to your last day with her-

and the need to reach out and get a bottle to help with drowning your emotions quickly resurfaces, with you ready to bolt towards the cabinet when the sound of glass being slammed in front of you snaps you out of it.

skye was settled in front of you, a frown painting his devastating features when he slides the glass of ice water toward you. "drink this instead, you need it."

unable to find it in yourself to go against him, you take the glass and place it to your lips, draining it within a few gulps. skye watches you intently, noticing the few droplets that fell from your mouth before descending toward your throat, making his eyes darken in response to the sight.

letting out a weary sigh, you place the glass back down on the table, not meeting skye's gaze. listening as he gently inhaled, skye tentatively asks you, "this is none of my business, but i need to know... just what are you trying so hard to forget?"

you don't answer him for several seconds, clenching your eyes shut as you allowed your hands to form into fists against the table. no matter how much time had passed, this was something you would never get over-

"i lost my mom... she was killed..."

you keep your eyes shut, just basking in your memories as you told skye everything. it was strange, but something about skye made you want to open up to him-

that even though you knew it was crazy to feel such a thing for a man you

"to keep it simple, my father... he's a... he's a really powerful man. he comes from a long line- from old money, essentially. when he was younger, he fell in love with my mom, who happened to be a normal civilian."

you take a moment to gather your emotions, taking in a deep breath as your hands began to tremble. just when you felt like you were close to losing it, skye places a hand over yours, engulfing it in a warmth that soothed your anxieties.

opening your eyes, you gasp upon seeing how close skye was to you. his rufescent eyes appeared... softer, somehow. you felt the way his hands gently frame at your face as the pad of his thumb traced at your bottom lip.

"and you were born out of love." skye's voice was solemn, with his expression void of its playfulness. yet his words succeeds in making your throat clench even further in response. you were left dumbfounded, watching as sylus slowly inched closer to you, with his lips a mere few inches away from your own-

why did it feel like he knew?

his breath warms at your lips, and just as you were about to close your eyes to meet with him-

a sudden knock at the door makes you jump away from him.

skye clicks his tongue, shaking his head as he stands from his seat to answer the door. you were about to ask who it was, but stopped when you smelled the familiar scent of your favorite takeout. with the bag in hand, skye returns to you, placing the food in front of you. as you looked at all the containers, you said out loud, "all of these are my favorites..."

you catch the momentary stiffness in skye's composure before he visibly relaxes. "sweetie, you are mistaken, since such a meal can be anyone's favorite."

the strangeness of it all was starting to get to you-

but when skye opens up a container and offers it to you, you allow the lingering scent to wrap around you, awakening in you a hunger that you hadn't felt in a long time. taking a hold of your utensils, you began to dig into your favorite food-

with the lingering doubts still settled at the back of your mind.

{ ... }

being around you proved to be a much more challenging feat than sylus could have ever anticipated.

before he got to know you, sylus had every intention of whisking you away after your failed escaping attempt, keeping you within his penthouse for 12 months with the goal of collecting the 120 million from your father-

but now that he was forced to be in your presence-

forced to see the vulnerability in your eyes along with the pain that came from missing your mother-

he felt something change.

why did it suddenly feel like the money didn't matter to him anymore?

why did the sight of your smile cause his heart to do somersaults within his chest?

why did it feel like his mission was to truly protect you without any conditions?

sylus quickly erases those thoughts from his mind the moment his phone rings. looking down at the screen, he notices the caller's name and visibly stiffens.

it was your father, the man who chose his alias to be zero.

was it already time for his monthly report?

closing his eyes, he answers the call while ignoring the feeling of guilt that threatens to take root inside of him.

{ ... }

your relationship with skye was... odd, to say the least.

despite how serendipitous your meeting with him felt (like he was in the right place at the right time the night of your desperate escape), you couldn't deny that a part of you felt safe with him.

perhaps the loss of your mother made you lose a bit of your rationality. losing her felt like you were left with a gaping hole deep inside of your chest-

a hole that you wanted to be filled by skye.

it was maddening, trying to sift through your emotions when it came to skye. you had been staying with him for close to 6 months now, yet the way he payed so much attention to you (seeming to care for you while buying the things you needed, never once complaining about your presence) coupled along with his lingering kindness-

it was enough for him to weasel his way into your heart-

yet at the same time, you knew that he was acting suspicious. there was something that skye was hiding from you, which did nothing but further complicate the feelings you had for him.

despite how strange everything felt, one fact remained undeniable-

and it was the fact that his presence was enough to pacify the shattering pain of your mother's death, with you practically clinging to him as the days went by. with his snarky and haughty attitude, you felt incredibly safe when he was close to you-

even now, you found yourself yearning for his presence, even though he was settled a mere few feet away from you. your hands itched with the need to grab on to his hand and ruffle his hair each time he teased you-

so caught up in your thoughts, you end up unconsciously walking toward his room, noticing how it remained slightly open. his deep voice was heard speaking in hushed tones into his cellphone, and as you neared the room, you heard a familiar sound coming from skye's phone-

"i don't want the money anymore, i'll send every last penny back, just please-" skye harshly speaks into his phone, making your heart turn to ice when you recognized the booming voice on the other line-

it was the sound of your father's voice.

"how do you know my father?" skye immediately faces you, dropping his phone in the progress. the man visibly pales, swallowing thickly as he shakily called out your name.

"i-it's not what you think, please believe me, it's not what you think it is-"

"you...you lied to me? you had b-been working for my father this whole time?" angry tears cascades down your face, and when skye visibly winces, looking away from you while letting out a string of curses-

that was all the evidence that you needed.

you turn away from him, running out of his room as the tears marred your vision. reaching the front door, you pull it open with a brute force that nearly rips it from its hinges. knowing that he would catch you if you tried to use the elevators, you hurriedly take the stairs, making your desperate descent while choking back your sobs.

everything made sense now-

like how strange it was that skye had another helmet for you-

or how he knew your favorite takeout-

and the way he seemed to read your mind these past couple of months-

it was all because of your father.

everything had been meticulously planned by him-

and you were stupid enough to fall for it.

gasping for air, you manage to escape out of the apartment building, the tears streaming even faster down your cheek as you staggered into the street, breaking out into a run while praying that skye wouldn't find you.

your mind was in a deep haze, exhaustion tingeing your every step when a low whistle was heard.

"i knew you'd run out of onychinus's cage eventually."

your movements ceased when you felt the barrel of the gun become pressed against your head, an icy sensation now felt coursing through your veins. your throat turns dry, and you caught sight of a tattooed man sneering at you, cocking his gun once more before pressing it against your temple.

"you're comin' with me, princess." he smirks at you, continuing to press the gun even closer to your head, "as much as i'd like to shoot your pretty little brains out like i did with your mama, i'm sure your daddy's willing to pay a hefty price just to have you back. once i get the money, then i'll kill him before claiming victory-" he was suddenly cut off when a crow manages to slam the gun out of his hands, its beady eyes never once straying from the man as it let out a harsh caw!

"what the fuck-"

the man was unable to finish his sentence when darkness surrounds the entirety of his body, wrapping around his form like deadly tendrils-

"close your eyes, princess."

recognizing skye's voice, you immediately turn away from him and clench your eyes shut, hearing a piercing scream before the wet sounds of something imploding in on itself echoes throughout the area. you fell down to your knees, only to be caught by a powerful pair of arms.

you were openly sobbing now, clinging to the front of his shirt, "s-skye... w-what...why-"

skye cuts you off, swallowing your words with a searing kiss when he crashes his lips against yours. you moan at the sudden sensation, tightening your grip on him as he pulls you into his broad chest, shielding you from the gruesome sight that was settled a mere few inches away from you.

"not here," he purposely crushes your face within his chest, blocking your vision when he picks you up. your tears were still falling, yet you felt the strange sensation of your body being pulled, with the air seeming to crackle with static in response for a brief moment-

before landing back within the quiet safety of skye's living room.

with your face still hidden within his chest, you felt the way skye began to tremble, pulling away from you. he shakily frames at your face, using the pad of his thumb to trace at your bottom lip before telling you, "fuck, i thought i lost you-"

as if remembering the moment, skye takes you back into his arms, pressing another kiss against your lips, filled with an even greater desperation than the last one.

not daring to break apart his connection to you, he takes you to his bedroom, kicking down the door before falling into his bed with him. your hands grip at the silken sheets, letting out a moan when skye dips a hand into the waistband of your pants.

"it may have started out as a lie, but my feelings for you are true." you feel the way he dips a finger into your folds, collecting your arousal as you tossed your head back in response. his breathing becomes labored when he inserts his middle fingers inside of you, thrusting the single digit in and out of your core before huskily admitting to you, "my true name... is sylus qin... and your father hired me to protect you."

a part of you felt angry and annoyed, but feeling the way skye sylus was moving his thick finger in and out of your slick heat was making your mind go hazy. instead of using your words, you allow your nails to grip at his biceps before raking down his skin, earning a hiss from him.

"fuck, kitten, that hurt- but how about you punish me more and give my back those same claw marks?"

you hated how the sight of his smirk was enough to make your legs clench in response for him, feeling sylus remove his finger from your slick heat momentarily, now gripping at the waistband of his pants as unbuckled himself-

his crimson gaze was eclipsed by complete darkness now, his desire and need for you evident in the way he tore off his clothes, ensuring that he was utterly bare for you. your traitorous heart ends up racing in response to his nakedness, and you felt a powerful ache settle between your legs at the sight of sylus's godly form. recognizing the lust in your eyes causes him to smirk as he places his large hands against your clothes, now working on tearing off your own clothes until you were utterly bare for him.

hungry eyes raked through your form, and you watch as sylus licked his lips before laying back down against the bed. he spreads your legs wide open for him, giving your inner thighs a kiss before whispering against your skin, "let me show you the true depths of my devotion to you... let me make it up to you."

"sylus-"

you had only said his true name out loud, but it was enough to make sylus surge forward, burying his face within your slick walls. the sensation of his tongue drinking up the evidence of your honeyed arousal makes you fall back in bed, hands gripping at his soft hair. instinctively, you spread your legs wider for him, allowing sylus to take you to heaven when he kept devouring you like he was a man starved.

never had you felt such potent sensations of pleasure before, with sylus expertly eliciting moans and gasps of his name, allowing it to fall from your parted lips like a never-ending mantra. as he continued his ministrations on you, the more you felt a coil seem to tighten within your abdomen. "o-oh my god, s-sylus!"

you gasp when your back arches against the bed, with sylus keeping your hips still as you spilled yourself into his hot mouth. with a grunt of your name, sylus drinks in everything you had to offer. red hot pleasure courses through you, making you cry out to him as you tightened your grip against his hair.

"ngh... fuck... you taste s'fucking sweet." sylus manages to release his hair from your hands, crawling toward you as he spread your legs wide for him to settle between. drunk off of the sheer taste of you, sylus presses his lips against yours, purposely deepening the kiss, allowing you to taste yourself with his kiss alone.

distracting you with his kiss, you managed to remain relaxed for him when sylus suddenly pushes his cock into your entrance, the sudden intrusion making you toss your head back as you cling to sylus. a string of curses was heard coming from the man settled above you. when you felt your walls taking in every inch you had to offer (completely sheathing him), you lost all train of thought, allowing the man to piston his hips in and out of you.

"fuck...!" sylus grips at your hips, keeping it still as he begins to thrust his cock in and out of your slick walls at a breakneck pace. the squelching sounds of your lovemaking echo throughout the room, making you cry out to him when you felt the moisture flowing out of you.

"o-oh...!" you gasp, wrapping your legs around sylus's naked waist, allowing him to reach deeper inside of you with each pound. by now, he was quite literally fucking you into his bed-

and you found yourself enjoying every minute of it.

from the way sylus seemed to harshly grip at your waist, you were certain that it would leave a bruise-

yet you didn't care, allowing this powerful man to bring you towards another release while you sloppily met his thrusts with your own-

the telltale sensation of his cock growing inside of you as he tightens, stilling his hips one last time before spilling thick ropes of his cum deep within you succeeds in making you cry out to him, your voice seeming to echo throughout the room along with sylus's growl of your name.

unable to help himself, sylus captures your lips once more, purposely swallowing your moans as he rode out both of your releases, his hips weakly pounding in and out of you, making sure that you had milked every last drop out of him before landing next to you on the bed.

your body was damp with sweat as a pleasant haze goes through you. not wishing to break your connection with sylus, you tentatively move closer to him, resting your head against his chest before pressing a kiss against it.

"y-you... did you want me... to forget that i'm mad at you by fucking my brains out?" you weakly manage to tease him, earning a rich chuckle from him.

"depends... is it working?" he leans down to press a kiss against your hair, making you smile when you cheekily tell him,

"how about you find out... when we go a few more rounds...?"

sylus needed no further urging from you, returning back to you as he placed a desperate kiss against your lips...

[ epilogue ]

your father was pacing around his office, filled with anxiety at being caught.

he prayed that you would forgive him-

that he could see you again, happy and whole despite your own pain.

truly, your father wanted nothing more than to hold you in his arms, to bring you back home all while telling you that he did this all in the name of love-

that losing your mother made him go crazy at the thought of losing you, too-

but a part of him still felt too guilty to do anything.

as he was caught up in his thoughts, the sound of a notification coming from his phone startles him, making him look down at his phone to see a message from sylus himself.

eager to know what it says, he opens up the text and reads through it, eyes filled with relief as the older man breaks out into a grin. in the text was what looked like a screenshot of a bank account wiring back 110 million dollars along with a single text:

i finally understand. she's worth all the money. with this payment, i promise to protect her for the rest of my life - s.q.

end notes: omg i can't believe i'm gonna lose sleep over this story, but lmaoo, it's my dream story, and i need to finish writing this. spy!sylus, how i need you so 😭🙌🏻 this is currently unedited, but i'll make any changes tomorrow, it's bedtime for me!! also, for the reader's dad using an alias to contact sy, i wanted to do something so you readers could use any name that suits you outside of the alias! making it a true insert hhhhhhhh 🥹 this was a tough story to write though, but i hope you readers enjoyed it all the same!

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

#sylus x reader #sylus smut #sylus x you #sylus x y/n #lads x reader #lnds x reader #l&ds x reader #love and deepspace x reader #lads smut #lnds smut #l&ds smut #writings 📖

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lulujeno · 2 months ago

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lowkey — park jisung ᡣ𐭩

summary : you and jisung like keeping your relationship lowkey

warnings : slight mentions of parties/alcohol 2x, other than that its fluff(?)

wc : 0.5k

a/n : gn!readerrrrr :D wrote this at like 3 am so pls lmk if there are any mistakes </3 was listening to niki's lowkey and got inspired to write this!! has a few easter eggs from the song but the story doesn't really match up with the song tho 🤕 (plsplspls lmk what you think since its my first time writing like this)

You and Jisung were shoved into your room. It was Haechan’s party and he had the genius idea of playing 7 minutes in heaven. Unsurprisingly, he somehow turned it into another one of him and his friends’ poor attempts in getting either you or Jisung to confess to each other. Ever since you joined their highschool your brother and his friends have been trying to get the both of you together. You two were shy at first but eventually got comfortable with each other since it didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon.

“Do they really not know?” Jisung asked as he sat on your king-sized bed, patting the spot next to him to tell you to sit there.

You opted to lay your head on his lap instead, feeling his fingers softly massaging your scalp. “I mean, we are trying to hide it from them. It’s better like this anyways, peace and quiet without them teasing us” you say while admiring how cute your boyfriend looks from this angle.

An aggressive knock is then heard, making Jisung jump a little. “Five more minutes!” you hear Chenle shout through the door, reminding you of your limited time together.

The boy above you notices you yawning and asks if you’d rather take a quick nap instead, letting you know that he’ll wake you up when time is up. You shake your head before letting out another yawn. Jisung lets out a slight chuckle before placing your head on one of your pillows. Too sleepy to open your eyes, you hear shuffling sounds and feel your bed dip a little next to you. The arm on your waist and hand in your hair confirming that it was your boyfriend and not another person who came in and suddenly slept on your bed.

“Stop Ji, what if they barge in on us?” you warned him, not really wanting this moment to end.

A smile forms on Jisungs face, you look so cute in his eyes right now. “That’s a problem for us to face later on. Let’s just take a short nap for now.” He says while stroking your hair softly as if you were the most fragile thing on earth.

Chenle giving a three minute warning was muffled in the background as he was too focused staring at you, not believing that you were finally his after years of desperately crushing on you. You suddenly turned around, almost giving the boy a heart attack. Luckily you were deep asleep so he didn't have to deal with you teasing him for staring.

Jisung lifted his arm from your waist, grabbing his phone that was in his pocket to check the time. It read exactly two thirty am, one minute before the seven minutes were up. Suddenly, he gave you a quick peck on your lips. The impulse coming from the alcohol in his system gave him the confidence boost. While admiring your features after, he thought that maybe it was time to be more than lowkey with you.

Perfectly at the seven minute mark he fell asleep, not caring about the vibrations from his phone and the banging on the door from his friends telling you guys that time’s up. You both can deal with it later when the sun is up.

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nkjemisin · 3 months ago

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Hello NK Jemisin! I'm a huge fan of yours, and I wanted to thank you for writing all of the books you've written, and doing all that you do. You're really awesome and you are doing important work! :) I had a long question, if you have time to answer! What's your commentary on creating fantasy cultures, using real ones as inspiration? You've done this before in your stories, and I wanted to know if you had any guidance on doing it well. I'm writing my first novel right now (fantasy!) and am dealing with a surprising amount of guilt regarding using real cultures as a basis for my fake ones. On one hand, I want to create a really unique fantasy world, not the bog-standard European stuff. It's not only more interesting to me, but I also admittedly want to use my story to help introduce people to concepts that might be helpful in the real world, help readers understand what these real people go through and perhaps inspire change. On the OTHER hand, I don't know if it's 'my place' to do so (I'm Black btw, but I'm not just writing about Black-coded fantasy characters). And I'm worried about representing people in a harmful way, even if it's by accident. I'm even hung up about names! Should I use names from real languages related to the cultures I'm inspired by, or should I just make them up to emphasize that, while yes these people are clearly inspired by real cultures, they are ultimately *their own* thing. I'm really conflicted on this and am hoping you can offer some feedback and/or commentary. Sorry for the long ask. Either way, have a great day and I look forward to whatever work you do next!

If I can rephrase what you're saying here, it sounds like you're concerned about cultural appropriation -- specifically, which cultures you get to "borrow from" and "remix," how much remixing you can do before you've done damage, how to depict people from cultural backgrounds other than your own, etc.

If that's what you're asking, then there are whole schools of thought on how to "appropriate appropriately." A lot of thinking on this has evolved in the past few years, for good and for ill; Own Voices, for example. (The short version: the Own Voices hashtag movement started as a grassroots attempt to get marginalized voices telling the stories of their own cultures, because there's been a nasty trend of only white/Western/Anglophone/etc. authors publishing books about those cultures. The problem? Some publishers and readers started acting as if marginalized writers weren't allowed to do anything but stories in their own cultures -- a restriction, instead of an inclusion/correction. Worse, publishers, etc started using it as a marketing shorthand, in ways that were just... not good. They made it weird, basically.) But I'm still fond of the approach that's in Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. It's centered on ethnicity/race, but a lot of its approach can be extrapolated to culture. There's too much good stuff in this book to summarize it easily, but you should read it instead of a summary anyway -- it's short.

I don't see the point of guilt, when it comes to something like this. Guilt is what you feel when you've done something wrong, and admiring another culture enough to want to tell a story featuring it isn't wrong. However, there are things you need to do -- research, conversations, considerations of power dynamics -- to reduce the harm you might end up doing by telling that story as an outsider. And note that no matter what you do, though, you might still end up doing harm. (Even people writing about their own culture can end up doing that.) If you fuck up, apologize, figure out what went wrong, and try to do better next time. That's really all you can do.

And then write whatever the hell you want. There's a persistent pressure on Black writers to only cover certain subjects, certain settings; nah. We get to have range, too. You've just got to put in the work to do it well.

Good luck.

#answered asks

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canon-in-too-deep · 23 days ago

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Free Grimms' Fairy Tales Typeset

I am so very excited to present free typeset #33: Grimms' Fairy Tales, by, of course, Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm. (Apologies for this being quite a long post, but I really wanted to show pictures of what's available in these typesets!) When I saw this in my ask box, I knew I had to do a typeset for it. But there were so many individual tales, and I wanted to do something a bit unique for each of them. But I also wanted to use a lot of color. And throw in some art. And that might make the typeset not so super printer friendly for some folks, so....

I made two versions of this typeset! Two different designs and color options. Both pdfs are available for FREE here and are sized for half letter (letter folio).

Grimms' Fairy Tales typeset version one is the full color version with a lot of little details and different art/motifs for each story (most of the art I used was by Maurice Pillard Verneuil; his stuff is so pretty).

And for the second version of the typeset (which I dubbed the Black and White, Hold the Art Alt in my google drive archive--I need a shorter name for that. The Deep Drive? Drivechive? Googachive?--I went black and white printer friendly, with prominent featuring ornaments and a more simple design.

You can see the differences clearly above. Both these typesets were a lot of fun to make, and I hope they print out well for people wanting to use them. It's one I hope to be able to print out soon for myself, to have as a personal physical copy. I kept stopping in the middle of typesetting just to read a few tales. (Cat-Skin and Snow White and Rose-Red are my two favorite tales (I just love the changed appearance lover trope), though The Juniper-Tree has a a solid standing with best revenge death.) Anyway, use these typesets as you wish! If there's any issues with the files, feel free to let me know! Just please leave credit and consider tagging me if you use them, or reblog if you can! More details and interior shots of the first version are below the break!

So the black and white version has pretty much the same design across all the different chapters, while the color version has a different swatch of art featured next to each title, to give some flair to each individual story. The whole double border around the drop caps was inspired by another (much more talented than I) member on Renegade Bindery, but I added in the extra picture frame for the motifs and changed some things around to get the sort of clean, classic, elegant vibe I was hoping for (originally, I was going to use good ol' IM FELL English and go with a much more gritty, vintage-y design, but changed it after seeing how well Crimson Text worked for the fairy tales (like I've said before, Crimson Text is a special occasion sort of font). Here's some more screenshots of the chapter beginnings (albeit a bit pixelated. Dang screenshots and their low quality):

The table of contents is pretty fun as well, extending the same borders and motifs design to full three pages:

And the fun also extended to the last page with info on the Brothers Grimm:

All in all, this was one of my favorite books to work on. If you have any suggestions for future typesets, my ask box is always open! Edit: also, the borders/frames going around the dropcaps were inspired by a design I saw done by the talented @teleportbooks!

#Grimms' Fairy Tales by Jacob Grimm and Wilhelm Grimm #grimms' fairy tales #fairy tales #typesets #typesetting #book design #bookbinding #book #free to use

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xosamioo · 15 days ago

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“𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭”

grouping: dom! jay x Virgin jungwon x sub!

rating: 18+ explicit and mature content, smut and angst

wc: 6k

content warnings: NSFW under the influence mention of alcohol and swearing jungwon is a virgin

Summary: Jay and Jungwon attended “the sound of Prada” event in Seoul and are going back home after a night of drinking and having fun. They end up going in the same car alone and things got heated.

Author note: inspired by the recent jaywon moments at “the sound of Prada” event Enha attend and the song “Diet Pepsi” by the lovely Addison Rae

🔞 This story is fiction and does not reflect the personalities or desires of those it is written about. This story has some scenes that may be uncomfortable for some readers, read at your own risk.

Enhypen was at the “Sound of Prada” event, surrounded by other influential artists, the event pulsating with music and conversations intertwined. Live music filled the air celebrating music culture worldwide.

All of the members are drinking liquor. All except Jungwon who doesn't like alcohol and all of the members respect his choice. They all know that he doesn't like the burn, even though he is old enough to drink it. He was enjoying his night, he didn't need alcohol to do so. He was just observing and sometimes recording the musical performances. Jay was standing next to Jungwon and drinking his cocktail

Jay is a light drinker, he only drank if an event called for it or alone with his close peers. He could get tipsy sometimes and get a little carried away. He would joke and get a little flirty, he also has been known to get a bit handsy, especially with Jungwon. Jay glanced over at Jungwon who was just watching everything from the side observing and taking some videos and pictures. Jay smiled and then leaned closer towards him. "Having fun?" Jay asked Jungwon as he got close to his ear. Jungwon didn't flinch at all, having been used to Jay's proximity with him. "Yeah, I'm having a good time." He replied, not even turning to look at Jay.

Jay hummed in response, sipping his drink, his eyes trailing down Jungwon's body. They were both in Prada, well dressed for the event and they both looked good. Jay was particularly focused on Jungwon, he was wearing the most simple thing out of all of the members, but he still looked the best.

"You look good," Jay said, almost whispering in Jungwon's ear, making sure no one could hear him except Jungwon.

Jungwon was used to Jay's compliments. Jay often showered him with them. He got a lot of attention from the members, but he felt like he got a lot more compliments from Jay. "Thank you," Jungwon said, finally looking at him, still not phased by the proximity Jay had with him. Jay smiled at him, he always loved when Jungwon looked at him, their eyes meeting. Jay loved his big dark brown boba eyes, they were always so captivating for him. Jungwon's lips tugged into a small smile before turning away from Jay's gaze, looking back at the live performances.

Jay's eyes never left Jungwon. He watched him, studying every feature on his face and leaning closer to him to continue to talk to him. Jay was quiet for a few seconds, staring at Jungwon intensely before whispering in his ear again. "I can't keep my eyes off you." He confessed, only loud enough for Jungwon to hear him. He glanced down as Jay spoke to him listening to him and then turned his attention back to the music trying to distract himself as he softly rubbed the side of his neck and smiled and nervously chuckled at Jay's presence and flirted glancing at Jay for a second and looking back forward vibing to the music. Jay smiled seeing his slight reaction. Jay gently rested his hand on his shoulder for a second as he saw him rub his neck. He smiled and looked forward.

A few more hours passed and the event came to an end. The members had their fair share of drinks and fun chatting and all that stuff. It was time to go.

The whole group was getting ready to leave, getting picked up in different vehicles. Jay was supposed to ride in a different car, but he decided to go with Jungwon instead. Jay walked towards Jungwon, who was waving bye to fans and getting into the car. Jay followed him getting into the car with him and also waving fans off The driver began to drive in the direction of their dorm.

They both sat in silence, jay's eyes were slightly on Jungwon, the light from the outside streets illuminating his face. Jay felt tense, he was still tipsy from his drinks and was feeling slightly bold.

Jay scooted closer to Jungwon sitting next to him, now basically glued beside him. Jay always needed to be close to Jungwon. Jungwon didn't flinch, he just smiled slightly, used to Jay's touchy behavior when they were alone.

"I had a good time tonight," Jay said to Jungwon, his voice was a little on the slurred side, but he was still comprehendible. "Yeah, it was nice. I enjoyed it." Jungwon answered.

Jay couldn't keep his eyes off him, he watched him quietly and continued to look at his face. He was entranced by his features, the way the lights danced off his porcelain-like skin, his nose and cute chin, His recently dyed blonde hair, and His lips that he just longed to kiss.

Without thinking, Jay reached out to gently touch Jungwon’s cheek. He didn't say anything, just touched his skin, tracing it lightly with his fingertips, then his thumb rubbing his skin softly.

The action caught Jungwon slightly off guard, but at the same time, he was used to Jay being overly touchy with him. He didn't stop him, just let him touch his skin softly. Jay got bolder after Jungwon didn't reject his touch, and he continued to lightly caress his face. He let his fingers trace the outline of his cheek and jaw, then brushed his hair away from his face. The whole interaction was silent, just the two of them in their little bubble. Both of them were used to Jay being touchy, but somehow this time felt slightly different, more intimate.

After a few minutes of just quietly caressing Jungwon's skin, Jay finally spoke up. "You’re so beautiful." His voice was low and soft, and laced with drunkenness. Jung-won looked up at him, feeling a slight fluttering in his chest.

"Thank you," he mumbled out.

Jay smiled at him, still caressing his cheek with his fingers, his eyes not leaving his face. "I mean it. You're so pretty. You have no idea." Jungwon could feel his cheeks flushing slightly at Jay's words. He was used to his compliments, but he still got flustered at times. "You're tipsy." *he chuckled

Jay chuckled at jungwons words, not denying it. "Maybe a little."

He leaned a little closer to Jungwon, still caressing his face. "Doesn't make it less true though." Jungwon felt his heart racing a little, Jay was so close to him. He knew he wasn't the only person Jay was this touchy with, he often did this with the other members (minus the flirting) but somehow, this still felt more intimate than usual. Jay continued to rub his cheek gently, his eyes flickering between jungwons eyes and lips. He seemed a bit entranced with Jungwon's lips, his eyes lingering on them for a few seconds before snapping back to his eyes. After a moment, he spoke again, his voice a whisper. "You have nice lips, jungwon..." He continued to stare at his lips as he spoke, his eyes tracing the shape of them. jungwon's cheeks flushed, not expecting that to come out of Jay. "Thanks..." He said, feeling slightly flustered. He didn't know what to say, just sat there.

Jay was still staring at him, his hand moving from his cheek down to his chin, then his thumb started tracing his bottom lip, slowly and gently. Jungwon felt a shiver run down his spine as Jay's thumb moved across his lip. He tried to keep his composure, but he could feel his heart racing. "Jay hyung, what-what are you doing?" He asked quietly.

Jay didn't answer immediately, just continued to trace his lip before finally speaking. "I...I don't know."

His voice was soft and slightly slurred. "I just...I just really want to kiss you right now..." The confession shocked Jungwon, not expecting Jay to say something like that. he was used to his compliments and touchy behavior, but…..this was different. "Hyung- you're drunk and-" he started. Jay interrupted him. "I know I'm drunk...But I'm being serious right now. I, really, really want to kiss you."

He took his thumb away from his lip and moved closer to him. "Just one kiss...Please, just let me kiss you."

Jung-won didn't know what to say, he was shocked and flustered. Jay was acting like he had never acted before, so desperate to kiss him. "I-I don't- I don't know..."Jay noticed his hesitancy and moved even closer. "Please, just let me kiss you. I promise that there will be only one. Just one, I swear." Jungwon was conflicted, on one hand, he wanted to give in, but on the other hand, he was scared about what would happen if he did. he didn't want things to get weird or awkward. "But, we...we can't" he mumbled out, looking away from Jay's gaze. Jay moved forward even closer, his face inches away from jungwons. "Why not? No one's watching... we won't tell anyone."Jungwon felt like there was a battle inside of him, part of him wanted to give in, to let Jay kiss him like he wanted to, but the other part of him was terrified of the repercussions.

"I just...I don't know-" Jay cut him off, his voice desperate. "Please jungwon-y, just let me kiss you. I'm begging you. One kiss...Please..." jungwon could feel Jay's breath on his face, he was so close. He knew that he should push him away, tell him to stop, but he couldn't. Jay's gaze was so intense, and he was begging, pleading for just one kiss.

His resolve started to crumble, and he slowly nodded his head. Jay's eyes lit up as Jungwon nodded. He raised his hand to cup his face again, then leaned in closer, closing the gap between them. His lips gently grazed Jungwons for a moment before he fully pressed their lips together. Jungwon closed his eyes as Jay's lips touched his. It was a soft kiss, almost sweet, but he could still taste the alcohol on his lips. He felt a shiver run down his spine from the contact. He couldn't believe this was happening, Jay's lips on his. It was something he always secretly wanted but never allowed himself to hope for.

Jay deepened the kiss, his lips moving against jungwons softly. He couldn't believe this was happening, he was finally kissing the boy he'd been wanting for so long, and it was just as, if not more, perfect than he had imagined it. The kiss grew more passionate, their lips moving together heatedly. Jay's hand moved to the back of jungwons head, pulling him closer. Jung-won didn't resist as Jay pulled him closer, just melted into the kiss, his hands moving to grab onto Jay's shirt. He had never been kissed like this before, jay was so intense and the kiss was so hot. His own body was starting to heat up and his mind was all fuzzy. Jay's tongue started to slip into Jung's mouth, tangling with his own. Jungwon tasted the alcohol again, but it didn't matter.

Jungwon felt his breath hitch at the feeling of Jay's tongue in his mouth. His mind was a mess, a mixture of disbelief and pleasure. He never thought that this would happen and he gently pulled away He was flushed and panting lightly, trying to catch his breath.

"Jay hyung, we should-" Jay cut him off again, his voice low and pleading. "No, no, no, don't stop. I want more. I want you. Please.”jungwon could hear the desperation in Jay's voice, and it made his stomach flutter. "But- but we can't-"

He was trying to be logical, to think about the consequences, but it was getting harder and harder to say no to Jay. Jay pushed him up against the car seat door trapping him there. He pressed his body closer to his and leaned down to speak against his ear.

"Please, baby, just a little more..."

The pet name sent shivers down jungwons spine and made his heart beat faster. He couldn't resist any longer, he wanted this just as bad. He looked up at Jay, his boba eyes wide and glassy, his cheeks flushed. “I’ve never... I mean, I want to, but…”It's okay," Jay said, his voice low and soothing. He brushed some hair from jungwons face before cupping his cheek again. "I know you haven't, I'll be gentle. I just want to touch you, kiss you...Let me make you feel good." Jungwon felt the tension in his body melt away slightly. Jay's touch and words were working magic on him.

He still had doubts in the back of his mind, but the desire to feel more of Jay was taking over. he leaned into his hand and whispered, "Okay... I trust you."

Jay smiled at jungwons words and leaned down to press a soft kiss against his forehead. Good boy," he whispered, then moved his lips down to Jungwon's neck, peppering kisses down his skin.

Jungwon's breath hitched as he felt Jay's lips on his neck. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, giving Jay more access to his skin. His hands gripped onto jays shirt tighter, pulling him closer as he let out a soft moan. Jay smirked against his neck at the sound of his moan, his tongue darting out to lick and kiss the sensitive skin. He moved down to his collarbone, nipping and biting gently, wanting to leave marks but he knew he couldn’t. Jungwon's breathing was becoming uneven as Jay explored his neck and collarbone. He could feel his heart racing, and he felt a mix of pleasure and a little bit of nervousness. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Jay's hands started to roam down his body, tracing his sides and waist, before moving to the hem of his cardigan. "Can I take this off?" he whispered against his neck, his fingers playing with the fabric. Jung-won felt a shiver run down his spine at Jay's words. he knew where this was headed and he was both excited and scared at the same time. He nodded his head "Yes... yes, you can."Jay wasted no time and pulled jungwons sweater up and off, discarding it somewhere in the car.

"You're so beautiful..." he murmured.

He stared down at jungwons bare chest, tracing his fingers over his collarbones and soft skin. jungwon felt exposed without anything on even tho Jay had seen him a couple of times when changing also his members but this was different.

Jay's eyes roamed over his body, taking in the sight of him in awe. "God, you're so pretty..." He leaned down and started to kiss and nip at his chest, his lips and tongue exploring his upper body. Jungwon's breath hitched as Jay started to kiss his chest. He could feel Jay's hands roaming over his body too, touching and caressing his skin gently, sending tingles all over. he couldn't help but let out soft moans, arching up into Jay's touch. Jay moved up to whisper against his ear. "You look so good like this, moaning and shaking for me."

Jay's lips moved down to his stomach, kissing and biting at the soft skin there. He could feel jungwons breathing speed up and feel his body move under his touch, and it only fueled his hunger for more. jungwon's mind was fuzzy with pleasure, Jay's words and touch driving him crazy. He could feel tingles shoot through his body as Jay's mouth moved across his skin. He grabbed onto Jay's hair, his fingers tangling in the strands as he let out more soft whimpers.

Hyung…..need you Jay felt a wave of arousal shoot through him as Jungwon whimpered and grabbed onto his hair.

"I know baby, I know you need me," he mumbled against his skin. "And I need you too. I want you so bad."He continued to kiss and bite down his stomach, moving lower as he reached the edge of his pants. jungwon's hips bucked up involuntarily at Jay's touch. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach and the needy sensation growing stronger. "Please hyung...need you now...please...." He panted out.

Jay groaned at the sound of jungwons begging and pleading. He was getting hard just from seeing and hearing him like this. "I know…Be patient" he said softly, his hands moving to unbutton his jeans. Jung-won whimpered and squirmed on the seat, his body aching for more contact. Jay's hands felt so good on his body, and he couldn’t wait to feel even more of them. He bucked his hips up, trying to get more friction. Jay smirked at his needy behavior, He slowly pulled off jungwons pants and underwear, leaving him completely bare for him. Jay drank in the sight of him, the flush on his face, the needy look in his eyes, and the way his chest rose and fell all together. Jung-won felt a mixture of embarrassment and arousal as he lay there completely naked, his body feeling exposed. But the way Jay was looking at him, looking at him like he was the most beautiful thing in the world, made him want more. He reached out for Jay, his hands grasping at the air, silently begging him to come closer. Jay leaned down closer, his lips hovering over his. "So gorgeous.." He whispered, his voice low and rough. He was consumed with the desire to touch him, taste him. "I'm going to make you feel so good, baby... I promise." jungwon whined at his words, his body feeding even more on edge. He needed more, he needed Jay's hands all over him.

“you….still have clothes on…”

Jay felt a pang of heat at the sound of jungwons needy whines. "I know baby, I know...I'll take them off. I just wanna look at you a little more." He murmured against his lips. He leaned back just enough to pull the black cardigan he had on over his head, discarding it somewhere in the car before moving down to unbuckle his pants. Jung-won watched as Jay got rid of the rest of his clothes, revealing his toned body. He couldn't help but bite his lower lip as he saw the muscles and the way Jay's body moved. Jay chuckled as he saw Jungwon bite his lip, he knew what that meant even with his slurred mind. He discarded his belt and lowered his pants and underwear in one go Jungwon's eyes widened as he saw Jay completely naked. His angry aching red cock sprung out against his stomach.

Jung-won felt nervous and scared a the sight. “hyung…….how…...is it…”

Jay looked down and smiled at his reaction, he knew he wasn't small, he could tell that it was probably bigger than Jungwons. Jung-won looked up at him, both scared and eager. He wanted to feel it against him, inside of him...he could feel himself getting even more desperate for him, his mind hazy in pleasure as he stared at the man on top of him. he didn't know what it would feel like but all he know is that he wanted it.

Jung-won stared at it, feeling both intimidated and excited. “it’s….bigger than I thought…” Jay chuckled and leaned down, his lips moving to his ear. “You’re adorable, baby.” he nipped at his earlobe before whispering, “Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with you. I’ll go slow…I promise.”jungwons body tingled as he felt jays lips on his ear, his words making him shiver. He trusted Jay and knew he would be gentle like he promised, so he nodded shyly. “Okay….I’m ready hyung…” Jay looked down at him, seeing the trust and desire in his eyes, and he felt a wave of anticipation wash over him the way Jungwon laid beneath him completely bare for him it was missing from his drunken mind. He leaned down and kissed him, slow and gentle, trying to convey all his feelings through it. Then he pulled away and flipped Jungwon so he was laying on his stomach against the car seat his ass facing up at him. Jungwon's face was flushed with embarrassment at being in such a vulnerable position, but he trusted Jay enough to let him take control. He closed his eyes and waited, his heart racing in anticipation. Jay took a moment to admire Jungwon, the sight of his arching back and perfect curves, but the urge to touch him, taste him, was too strong. He put one hand on his hip, gripping him firmly as he leaned down to press a kiss onto his spine jungwon body responded immediately to Jay's touch, arching up into it by instinct. He gasped and felt a shiver run down his spine as he felt Jay's warm lips against his skin again. Jay leaned down and whispered into Jungwon's ear, his voice low and rough. “Gotta be quiet, baby. Can’t let the driver hear us.”

He moved his free hand up to cover jungwons mouth as he kissed and bit at his shoulder. Jung-won nodded and tried to muffle his moans he could feel Jay pressed against his ass. Jay groaned at the feel of Jungwon underneath him, he could feel his heat and the way he was squirming. He wanted to just press right in but he had to be gentle and go slow, like he promised. Jay uncovered Jungwon's mouth reaching it out to his mouth “Spit” Jay said jungwon obeyed, and he collected some saliva in his mouth before spitting it in Jay's hand. Jay used the saliva to moisten his fingers, rubbing them together before he moved his hand down and slid a finger inside him slowly.

Jung-won gasped at the feeling, the intrusion was unexpected and unfamiliar. He felt a stinging sensation but it wasn’t so bad. He gripped the

seat beneath him, his body tensing up slightly. “Hyung….” He mumbled, his voice slightly strained. “It’s…it’s weird..”

Jay slowed down, not wanting to hurt him. “I know baby, I know it’s weird. Just relax, it’ll feel good soon.” He added another finger as he started to move them slowly. Jung-won gasped at the feeling of the second finger. It started to feel better tried to relax His body was adjusting to the feeling, the stinging slowly fading away and getting replaced by strange but pleasant sensations.

He could feel Jay stretching him out and he leaned back his head, his body responding to the movement. “Ah…..hyung…..” he mumbled, his voice getting more strained. “Feels…..good…..” Jay smirked at his words, he could tell that Jungwon was starting to feel good, which was exactly what he wanted. “That’s it, baby, you’re doing so good.” He whispered, moving

his fingers in a slow rhythm. jungwons was gripping the seat beneath him as the fingers inside him started to get faster. He was getting used to the feeling and started to feel the need for more. He lifted his head and looked back at Jay, his eyes pleading. “Hyung…need more…please…” Jay groaned and his eyes darkened at jungwongs plea. “Patience baby, I know you need more but I don’t want to hurt you.” He said, but he could feel his patience wearing thin. He removed his fingers, earning a whine from Jungwon. He leaned down to give him a quick kiss before whispering in his ear. “Shhh….be patient, I’m gonna give you what you want.” Jungwon lay there, his body feeling empty without Jay's fingers. He whimpered softly and felt desperate for more, but he tried his best to stay patient like Jay told him to do.

Jay reached over to grab his jacket, rummaging through the pocket before pulling out a small packet His mind was getting fuzzy again but he tried to think as clearly as he could for jungwons sake even tho he just had to take him right there and then without any prepping but he had to be gentle. He tore the packet with his teeth, taking out the small square piece of rubber. He took a moment to look at Jungwon, seeing his body twitching and waiting for him. He felt a pang of lust go through him but took a deep breath to steady himself. “You ready, baby?”jungwon was panting and felt desperate. He wanted more, he needed more. "Yes, yes, I’m ready, hyung, please... I need you."

“Okay…just relax, okay?” Jay said, his words a little slurred but still firm.

He put the condom on, his breath hitching as he did so. He looked down at Jungwon again, his eyes dark and filled with need. “I’m gonna go slow, okay?”

He aligned himself with Jungwons entrance, one hand on his hip to keep him steady, his body tense with anticipation. Jungwon's body was trembling. He could feel jays body pressed against his, the blunt head of his cock at his entrance. Jay covered Jungwon mouth one’s again and He wanted to make sure that Jungwon was comfortable before moving any further.

He tightened his grip on his hip, trying to keep him still He slowly pushed in a little, just the tip, watching Jungwons face for any sign of pain or discomfort. Jungwons body tensed, the pressure and burning sensation familiar but more intense than the fingers, and he whined into Jay's mouth Jay stopped moving, giving him time to adjust to the feeling. His body was shaking with the effort to hold back, he wanted to just push in all the way but he knew that he had to be careful and gentle especially with it being jungwons first time. "You okay, baby?" He asked, his voice slightly strained. Jung-won nodded against the hand covering his mouth, his breath coming in quick gasps. The burning sensation was still there, and he felt like he was being stretched too wide. He whined again and mumbled, “Hurts a little, hyung..” I know baby, I know. Just keep breathing, okay? Deep breaths,” Jay said, rubbing his hip reassuringly. He could feel jungwons body clenching around him, and he knew it would hurt a little before it. “You’re doing so good, baby. I promise it’ll get better soon.”

Jung-won tried to relax and breathe as Jay told him to do, he closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of his hand on his hip and the sound of his voice. “Okay. I’m okay…” he mumbled after a minute, the pain and burning sensations slowly subsiding. “That’s it,” Jay murmured. “You’re doing so good for me, baby” He started to move again, slowly pushing in a little bit further, watching closely to see how Jungwon was reacting. Jungwon gasped as he felt Jay pushing in deeper, the pain was slowly turning into something else, something good. “Ah…..hyung….” He moaned against his hand “You’re doing so well, baby” Jay murmured again, his voice low and rough. He kept moving slowly, sinking in slowly, inch by inch.

“God…you’re so tight…..” he groaned,

the feeling making him light-headed, the alcohol and the heat of the moment making him dizzy. “You’re taking me so well, baby.” He leaned down and whispered in his ear, his lips brushing against it “You’re doing so good for me.”

Jungwon could feel his body stretching around Jay, the pain and burning sensation were almost gone now and only pleasure and need were left. He gripped the seat below him, his breath coming out of his. “Hyung…please…more…” He pleaded against his hand. Jay felt Jungwons plea and felt the last bit of his restraint snap.

“Okay, baby…I’ll give you more.”

He pulled out and pushed in a bit harder this time, watching Jungwon face for

His reaction. “Ah…ah!” Jungwon gasped loudly against Jay’s hand, the feeling was overwhelming and he felt a burst of pleasure in his stomach. “hyung…feels so good. “Yeah?” Jay's voice was low and rough, he could feel Jungwon clenching around him and it was driving him crazy, starting to move faster now, the alcohol making him dizzy and his mind was only filled with thoughts of Jungwon and how he looked and sounded under him. Jay knew he probably wouldn’t last long, he was drunk and over-sensitive “You feel so good around me, baby,” Jay said, his breathing getting quicker and voice getting lower. “So tight and hot”

He gripped his hip tighter as he moved faster inside him, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air.

“You’re doing so good, baby. Taking me so well” Jay praised him, feeling Jungwon’s body squeezing him tighter, his words making me feel hotter. “I’m so close..” "Me too…hyung…I’m so close, please…”Jungwon whined, his body shaking from the pleasure. He was gripping the seat below him so hard, that his body felt like it was on fire, he was close but he just needed a little more push

“I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you” Jay whispered, shifting his hand from jungwons mouth to his hips. He held him in place as he started pumping into him harder and faster “Ah- ah” jungwons moan was getting louder, he was sure that the driver would be able to hear him but he didn’t care anymore, he needed more, he needed to come “I’m close, I’m so close..Ah, hyung..”jungwon whimpered, his body on fire and his mind clouded over by Jay and pleasure. Jay felt his orgasm approaching, he shifted to hold Jungwon's hips with one hand while the other went to his hair, pulling him up against his chest so he could whisper in his ear “cum for me baby, come on” he whispered, his lips brushing against his ear jungwons body was shaking, the feeling of Jay so close to his ear and the way he was holding his neck made him even more sensitive “ah, hyung..” He whimpered his body on the edge.. “shit-” jays voice was shaky as he was getting close too. He moved his hands back to jungwons hip, using the other one to hold his hair again, tugging it so his neck was arched back against his shoulder. “So- fucking good” he groaned, moving his hips faster, needing to see him reach his release

"Ja- Hyung...I'm...I'm... ah" Jungwon couldn't hold back anymore He came, crying out jays name as his body shook and he clutched the seat jay watched him come undone, he felt jung-won clamp down on him and he found his release grunting loudly, pumping a few more times before he spilled into the condom. He slumped back onto the seat, pulling Jungwon down with him and letting go of his hair to wrap his arms around him, holding him “You did good baby, you did good” he said in between breaths, still dizzy but feeling a lot better now. He pressed a kiss onto jungwons shoulder, his hands gently rubbing his sides jungwons body was still trembling and his breathing was shaky, he leaned back against Jay, feeling spent and satisfied.

he mumbled sleepily “Can’t feel my legs”

jays chest rumbled with a soft laugh “You’re gonna feel like that for few minutes, don’t worry” He nuzzled his face into Jungwon's neck, still holding him tightly against his chest

The car seemed to have slowed down slightly, and Jungwon knew that they were getting close to their dorm soon.

“we’re getting close,” Jay said as if reading his mind, his voice low and rough. “We gotta clean up and put our clothes on” Jungwon groaned but he knew he was right. He tried to get up but his legs felt too shaky and weak. “I can’t stand up” he mumbled jay chuckled again and tightened his arms around him, keeping him from getting up. “I’ll help you.”He gently maneuvered him so he was facing him. He looked down and saw the mess they had made with the condom and the way his shirt was all crumpled. He reached down and fixed up his clothes before looking back up at his face jungwon was looking up at him, a tired expression on his face but a soft smile on his lips. “you look messed up, hyung” he mumbled, reaching up to fix his hair jay smiled back at him and ruffled his hair. “Look who’s talking” he teased. “You look like a mess”

“yeah…who’s fault is that?” jungwon said, his voice sarcastic. Jay rolled his eyes and pinched his sides, “I think you liked it”“Ow..don’t pinch me” Jungwon pouted, shifting away from jays fingers

“Sorry, sorry,” Jay said softly but there was still a teasing smile on his face

the car was getting closer to their destination and the two of them were still sitting on the back seat, both of their hair messy and kinda clothes rumpled. It wasn’t so obvious that they had been doing something thin. Jay looked out the window and saw the dorms come into view. “hyung”…..jungwon spoke up gently Jay turned to look at him. “mhmm?” will things change between us?…. I don’t want it to be akwa-”

Jay moved closer shaking his head. “nothing will change between us, I promise” he said, his voice serious. “You’re still my lifeline. my baby”

“I’m still your baby?” Jungwon asked teasingly, the corners of his lips curving into a smile showing his dimples. Jay smiled back and pinched his cheek “Yeah, you’re still my baby,” he said in a mock tone before he lowered his voice

“𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘄”

Actual Moments from the “sound of Prada” event Jaywon attended that inspired a few scenes: Jaywon moments Twitter link

Authors note: Hope you guys enjoyed this short story 🤧 it’s my first upload please share and like and request away love y’all 🩶

#Spotify #jaywon #lgbtqia #enhypen #jay enha #enha fanfic #jungwon #kpop #bl fanfic #bl fic #xosamioo #enha hard hours #enhypen smut #enha smut #jungwon smut #park jongseong #Jongseong #jay #enha x reader

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imtherain · 2 months ago

Text

How We Used To Be (Forced Closeness)

Oh Hai - Logan has inspired me again. This was supposed to be a very different story and there was supposed to be smut, but it didn't work out that way.

Warnings: Talk of injuries (basically that scene in Logan (2017)), Not smut, almost tho, talk about the past, angst I guess? Old Man Logan, who has issues with intimacy and it's not what you think (or maybe it is). I used y/n but it's in first person and I gave her powers/a mutant name, so idk what that's called.

Old Man Logan x mutant!reader I guess? I'm too old to learn the new tricks of labeling these things, all I know is I've been thirsty for Logan since I was literally 7 years old and this is quickly turning into one of the recipe blogs where you have to read a bazillion words before you see the directions. Sorry

Word Count: 3.2k (don't look at me)

[Masterlist]

[Logan Masterlist]

“You look like shit, love,” I said, leaning in the doorway to the bathroom. Logan’s eyes shot up to glare at me in the mirror. He was bleeding from several bullet wounds and was currently shirtless and heaving over the sink.

“Get the fuck out,” He ground out. I hadn’t seen him in almost six months. Almost a record.

“Calaban called me,” I told him, knowing he likely knew that was how I ended up here. “I’m glad he did, you’re worse off than anticipated.”

“If you touch me, I’ll rip your arms off,” A caged animal snapping his teeth. I knew all of his threats to me were empty, but it still made my heart ache that he would rather suffer than let me help him.

“I’m not scared of you,” I told him, pulling myself off the doorframe. I shut the door behind me and crossed the tiles until I stood next to him. He was snarling in general, but didn’t move away when I took a cloth and began to clean the blood from one of the wounds on his arm.

My gift had earned me the name Booster back when things were good and goofy mutant names were all the rage, as my main ability was that I literally boosted other mutants powers when I touched them. I always joked about how it was a lazy XMen name. But now? There weren’t many of us left, no reason for silly code names. But we still stuck together when we could. I told myself that was the only reason I hung around this part of the country still. To be close to the few mutants I knew were left.

Nevermind that it was really the bleeding man in front of me that I stayed for.

“I don’t need your help,” Logan’s voice was quieter now, but still sharp edged like his teeth. I shushed him and wiped at another spot of blood, waiting for him to give in to the knowledge that I could actually make him feel better.

“I’m sure you don’t, but it would make me feel useful to help, would you deny me that?” I quirked an eyebrow at him and he looked away from me.

“Last time you helped me I hurt you, I’m not letting that happen again,” I reached up and took his face in my hands. His eyes fluttered closed.

“Cuts heal,” I told him. He moved to cage me with his arms for a moment and I was sure he was going to give in. But all at once he shoved me away from him and I stumbled into the wall. ��Logan,” I chided.

“Leave, Y/N,” There was no snarl left in his voice, just defeat.

And pain.

“No,” I told him simply. “Now are you going to let me Boost you or not?”

“Last time…”

“Yeah, yeah, last time,” I rolled my eyes as I cut him off. My abilities didn’t just boost one part of a mutant, it boosted all of them. So in Logan’s case, it made him a bit more animalistic for a time. Made him more likely to use his teeth, or use his claws.

The claws are what got me that last time he kept thinking about. He got me good, I'd give him that, I even had the scars on my ribcage if you looked close enough. But I didn't tell him that.

“If you do that again, I won’t be able to stop myself from…” Logan snarled at himself as a wave of pain contorted his features. “Fuck,” He cursed lowly to himself. I sighed and pulled my shirt off while he watched me in the mirror.

“I’m a big girl, love, I can handle you,” I half teased, half soothed him. “And don’t forget, I get to keep a bit of what I boost, so anything you do to me won’t last long,” A secondary benefit to skin to skin contact with me. I got to taste the powers that others had. I hadn’t used it on too many mutants in my life. Most mutants didn’t really have powers that benefited from boosting all that much. But Logan and his healing factor? It was useful. Even if it made him extra feisty for a day or so.

It also made him horny usually but that was hardly a complaint from me.

“Fine, but only for a minute,” He finally gave in. I smiled at him and stepped behind him.

“Want me to take my bra off too?” I smirked over his shoulder at him and he shivered, shaking his head no. Too bad I was a bad listener. I shucked my bra and made a big show of dropping it to the floor next to us. Logan let out a shaky breath, knowing what was coming.

We’d been here before.

I pulled his beater out of his pants and slid my hands slowly up his ribs. He grunted as my hands slid over bruises and broken things. I hummed softly as I let my powers unfurl into his skin while I slid his shirt up. I’d learned pretty early on that the more skin that touched skin, the better my boosting worked.

I pressed myself along Logan’s back as I helped ease his shirt over his shoulders and arms. He groaned when the shirt finally came free over his head and joined mine on the floor.

My arms closed around him, one moving up towards his chest, one circling around his middle. Skin searching skin as he caught my eyes in the mirror.

“How does it feel?” I whispered against his shoulder. I had aimed for his neck but he avoided me.

“Warm,” He murmured. “Always does,” I pressed a soft kiss to his skin and he shivered again.

Instead of teasing him anymore, I focused on the task at hand, closing my eyes and leaning against him. I could feel my powers seeping into his skin, like sunshine that time we took a bunch of the kids to the beach the summer it was so hot the AC kept going out. I wondered if he ever let himself remember the good times or if he only ever lingered on the bad ones.

Logan let out a shaky breath followed by a deep groan as a bullet pushed free of his flesh. It landed with a metallic thud in the sink, closely followed by a second and a third.

“Do you know how many there are?” I asked.

“More,” Was all Logan got out from between his clenched teeth. I adjusted my hold and focused back on my breathing. Healing and boosting were both somehow tied to breath.

My powers were not a magic fix though either. It still took time. I still remembered the days when he didn’t need me to boost him, but he’d ask just so I’d touch him a little. Back then I’d been shy, always holding his hand, or maybe his arm. I was shy a lot until the day he kissed me the first time.

Then all the cards were on the table…all the clothes on the floor.

A metallic thud on the floor brought me back to the task at hand. I moved my arms to touch different skin and Logan covered my hands with his, holding me so I didn’t pull away. I smiled against his shoulder and playfully nipped him with my teeth.

“And you didn’t want me to touch you a second ago,” I teased him. He growled, low in his throat. The animal was coming up in his chest and I knew what that meant for me. Logan was scared he’d hurt me again, but I knew the risk, and I was eager to face him.

“That’s enough,” Logan panted, but he didn’t pull my hands away. I waited to see what he’d do, pull away or pull me closer.

He brought one of my hands up to his mouth and kissed each finger tip. I hummed in pleasure, not so subtly rubbing my suddenly erect nipples along his spine. Another growl and my fingers were suddenly in his mouth.

“Logan!” I chuckled as he nibbled on my fingers. “I know that’s technically skin, but my arm isn’t helping if you hold it up like that,” I tried to pull my hand back and he just grumbled at me.

“How do you still taste so good?” Logan mused, not expecting an answer. “It’s been years and you still taste just as sweet,”

“You’re a romantic is why,” I hid my blush from his hungry eyes by dipping behind his shoulder again. Logan pulled me in front of him, caging me between his chest, his arms, and the bathroom sink.

“You should leave now, before it’s too late,” His eyes were hungry in the same way they had always been for me. I reached up and took his face in my hands again, tracing the crows feet around his eyes with my thumbs.

“And miss all the fun?” I mused. He rolled his eyes at me. “And you’re still bleeding,” I pointed out, tracing the one wound on his arm that hadn’t quite healed yet. It must have been the nastiest one because it appeared to be the last one to go.

“Y/N,” he warned.

“I’ll stop touching you when this one heals,” I told him. “Promise,” it was a baldfaced lie. I wouldn’t leave him unless he bodily threw me out the window. And not only would I not fit out the closest window, he would never dare.

“I don’t know if I can hold out that long,” Logan’s pupils were blown and his smirk was hazy. I knew exactly what he was craving and I was pretty impressed he’d managed to hold himself back as long as he had.

“I can take you, big boy,” I smirked. “Always could and always will,” I pulled myself on his shoulders so that I could press my lips to his. It was just a quick peck, testing the waters. Logan stared at me for a long time, neither of us noticing that the last bullet hole had finally closed.

But there was still pain in him, still things to heal, so I held onto him, hoping to fix everything I could before he made me leave him again.

Logan finally got himself together enough to push me away from him. I swallowed hard, wondering if he’d be mad that I clung to him as long as I had, wondering if this time I’d sassed my way into making him actually hate me.

His eyes drifted from my flushed cheeks, to my parted lips, down the curve of my neck and the valley between my breasts. I knew they’d seen better days, having drooped with the years, but from the hunger in Logan’s eyes, you’d think he didn’t notice.

His hands moved from my shoulders to my chest and I gasped at the sudden sensation of him pawing me.

“I shouldn’t,” Logan complained into my throat as he dragged his teeth along my pulse.

“I can take it,” I assured him.

“What if I hurt you?”

“I can take it,” I told him again.

“Fuck,” Logan’s growl tickled my neck as he moved to lift me onto the nearest surface, a sad excuse for a bathroom cabinet that gave way with a crack as soon as he set me on it.

“I’ll fix that,” I told him but he didn’t care, his mouth was on mine before I could come out with another apology. Logan pulled me flush with his chest, off the now broken surface to my feet, and walked backwards with me until he ran into the door frame.

I giggled a little as he cursed, unclear why this was so difficult. I got us through the door, smiling and pulling on his hands, making sure to keep my skin touching his somewhere. Anywhere.

Everywhere I could reach.

Logan licked his way into my mouth as we stumbled through the living room, bouncing off the wayward furniture as we made our way to his bed. Finally, something soft to land on.

I was on my back looking up at him. I’d seen him in his prime, when his hair wasn’t graying, when he didn’t keep a beard. I’d seen him when nothing could stop him. And looking at him now, I felt exactly the same as I did back then. Hungry for the animal of him, for the things I knew he could do to me. Lust for the sensations he could cause. And love, still burning brightly after all these years.

Love for the man he was underneath it all.

When Logan didn’t join me right away, I reached up to him and whined, knowing he always liked how desperate I got for him. He shook his head at my shenanigans and I wiggled for him as his hands worked to undo his pants.

“Impatient as always,” Logan chuckled.

“It’s your fault for making me go away all the time,” I countered. His slacks hit the floor and he moved to kiss his way up my bare stomach as he worked on getting me out of mine.

He just grunted as his mouth ran along the skin he exposed when he pulled my pants and underwear down my thighs. I knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up, so I didn’t push him or ask him to ask me to stay.

Logan pressed his face into the soft spot behind my knee and I squirmed as his beard tickled the sensitive skin.

“God you smell amazing,” He mumbled, tracing the inside of my thigh with open mouth kisses. I let my hips relax and fall open for him and his eyes zeroed in on the place that, at the moment, needed him most. With a growl, Logan moved to bury his face in my folds, and I couldn’t help the surprised yelp I let out at his movements.

There was a time he would devour me for hours if given the chance. A time when he’d want me in any place we were. Broom closets, empty classrooms, offices that we weren’t even supposed to be in. Every hotel and far too many bathrooms. Quickies and love making and slow fucks and even hate fucks now and then. We had everything, but now?

“Fuck, Logan that tickles,” I wiggled against his face as he breathed me in.

“Shh,” He murmured. “Just let me have this,”

“I’m trying to give it to you,” I groaned. Logan rolled his eyes at me, but adjusted so that he could pass a long lick of his tongue through me. I shivered at the sensation, a fire sparking along my nerves. I felt his self-satisfied smirk against my core before he moved his mouth against me again.

“I don’t remember you being this desperate,” He mused, pulling two long fingers through the dampness he’s been lapping at.

“Logan, baby, please,” I begged him to do more than tease me.

“Please what, sweetheart?” Logan’s eyes caught mine as I huffed, annoyed that he wasn’t fucking me yet.

“I want more of you,” I told him.

“Yeah well, ‘more of me’ ain’t exactly working at the moment,” He admitted. I knew finally growing old had caught up with him in a lot of ways, but my chest ached for him that it came for him this way too. He’d always prided himself on his virality.

“I want any of you I can get, baby,” I smiled at him, reaching down to pull him flush with my chest so I could kiss him again, my mouth opening easily for his tongue to explore. I let my powers unfurl into the kiss, into any skin of his that was touching mine. Trying desperately to let him feel like himself again.

“Hmm,” He mumbled, pulling back slightly. I kissed the side of his mouth, his jaw, as he tried to shake the feeling out of his head. “Warm,” His eyes were suddenly really far away, sleepy. I kissed him again, softer now.

“It’s ok, baby, I’ve got you,” I told him. He made a grumbling noise in his chest as sleep zapped his strength.

“What did you…what did you do to me?” Logan tried to push himself off of me, but only managed to roll to one side. I held him close.

“Nothing, love,” I whispered, kissing his face again. “Healing is just, just a lot, remember?”

“But I was gonna fuck you,” Logan mumbled, eyes closed now.

“I know baby,” I smiled gently at him. I had my arms around him still, trying to help him heal some of the damage that the bullets hadn’t caused. “You can fuck me tomorrow,” He tried to move away from me, but he was unable to untangle our limbs before his body told him it was nap time.

I sighed heavily, a bit bummed that neither of us had ended up getting our rocks off, but happy too, that I’d been able to help boost his healing. But I had a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he was far worse off than I thought he was.

When we were younger, he’d almost go into a rut after being Boosted. It was madness but it was always a good time. The last few years, with his body slowing down, the Boosting made him feral, but then he’d pass out for a long time while his body caught back up. The last time I’d been here, he’d fucked me through two orgasms and himself through one, before the sleepiness came for him. That time, he’d lashed out, thinking he’d been drugged. It was like the nights he’d wake up with nightmares, only he’d not gone fully to sleep yet.

Part of me was glad he didn’t try to gut me at least. But my heart clenched at the thought that maybe the end of him was closer than I wanted to believe.

To stave off the tears that were suddenly crowding my throat, I adjusted our bodies so that Logan could use my chest as a pillow. He mumbled something in his sleep, and his arm pulled me closer, holding me like maybe this time he wasn’t going to let me go. I circled his head with my arms, carding my fingers through his hair, happy to be able to comfort him, to allow him to sleep.

For just a moment, it could have been any other day. We could be young again. All of our friends, still alive. I closed my eyes and imagined the sounds of the school. Kids running down wooden hallways, calling after each other. Tears escaped me then, because most of those kids were gone now. And any kids like them, like I had been so long ago now, didn’t have a school to go to. They would be rounded up and killed now. Or taken away to some place horrible. And I knew there was nothing I could do.

Except maybe hold Logan just a little bit tighter, knowing that every fight ever fought for those kids, eventually made its way to him too.

[Another Logan Fic]

[Masterlist]

[Logan Masterlist]

Likes/comments/reblogs directly correlate to how much fanfiction/fanart you see ;)

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thehauntedetheral · 3 months ago

Text

YANDERE PAINTER

Requests are open !

• You were not at all a art person. You appreciated all the artist and their passion for their art but you were just not interested.

• But your bestfriend she is a huge art person especially passionate about painting and painters.

• If anyone asked your bestfriend about painters and painting she would start her lecture on painters from today's time till the 1700s knowing every painter, everything. Meanwhile on the other hand you don't know any other painter than Picasso. That too you just knew his name nothing else.

• Your bestfriend attends every painting exhibition and forcefully drags you with her to every exhibition hence here you are staring at a painting you have no idea about while your bestfriend rambled like a maniac.

"The colours, the brush strokes, the technique, everything is just flawless y/n" your bestfriend said while you nodded absent mindly.

"You know the painter's whose exhibition this is. Is a lot famous despite being quite young and he is good looking too. His paintings are just out worldly and their price at auctions go to crazy numbers. And I heard he is here at the exhibition I hope we could get to meet him." Your bestfriend continued rambling while you felt some people looking at you and whispered something between themselves and when you made eye contact with them they just gave you a polite smile. Weird you thought.

• You both moved towards next various painting when at one painting you and your bestfriend jaws just fell down. You were not an art person and you didn't understand a single thing about paintings. But this one really made your jaw fell down because the painting infront of you is of a face of a woman and that face is none other than yours. The same eyes, lips, hairs. It was like looking at a mirror.

• Is this some kind of prank getting filmed for internet? What in the actual fuck is going on? Now you know why many people were looking at you and talking because they saw this painting. They thought you were the women in the painting.

• You looked at the painting with more focused mind and yes still definitely your face looking more beautiful than that in reality filled with warm colours.

"What is going on?" You asked your bestfriend.

"I have no idea. How did your face ended up as Yan's painting???" Your bestfriend asked with the same curiosity.

• Before you know your bestfriend has marched to get the exhibition incharge and what not people to get your answers.

• You just stood there thinking of many possibilities. Could it be that he painted a imaginary face but it ended up being real? Or some other person has the same exact face as you and they modelled for this painting? Your mind was creating many theories.

• When someone came and stood beside you. A good looking tall man with an expensive blazer smiled at you and introduced himself.

"Hello. I am yan the painter of this painting you are looking at." He said while looking at you like a child looks at moon.

"How did I ended up on your painting?" You asked not sure what was going on.

"Oh I just drew a imaginary face. I didn't knew it existed and that too thousands times more beautiful than my painting." Yan said making you blush. And thinking yes my theory is correct.

• But what you didn't knew was that yan lied. This painting was not his imagination but is inspired by you. He just lied to you to avoid any suspicions.

• The story of how you ended in his painting is that when you were on a vacation a few months ago yan was there too for his exhibition. He saw your face only for a few minutes while you were passing. He just ..... He just got hypnotized.

• Your facial features harmony, your eyes, your hairs they were just perfect. Just flawless . As if you were god's best creation.

• He was sad that he only saw you for a few minutes. But he was mesmerized.

• Days passed by but your face kept popping up in his mind every other minute. Too often. Too much.

• That he stopped working on his upcoming projects and instead started painting your face. He tried his best to paint your face even though he saw you only for few minutes.

• He drew, sketched, painted hundreds, thousands of times your face but he still felt that they are injustice to your ethereal beauty.

• He didn't knew your name, age, address anything but he was obsessed. It's just that some crazy passion rushes through his body whenever he looked at your face drawn on canvas.

• His whole studio, house is filled with your paintings in different colours, size, expressions.

• He kept your paintings as a treasure to himself thinking only he is worthy to look upon. That even though much insisting from his secretary he didn't gave any of your paintings to show on exhibition. He don't want strangers to look at his beautiful inspiration.

• But his secretary didn't listen to yan and secretly put it in today's exhibition hoping that somehow with this painting put out open will he be able to find you and stop his this crazy madness about you.

• Upon seeing your painting on the exhibition yan was furious and was About to cancel the exhibition when your bestfriend came rushing to his secretary asking how her friend y/n ended in Yan's painting? Hearing this all his anger was kept aside and he just started looking for you. His inspiration.

• And hence here you are both standing beside each other infront of the painting which caused all this while yan looking at you thinks he has been born on this earth to capture, paint your beauty on his canvas.

• "Oh to be loved by an artist" many people say this in your case you were definitely being loved, obsessed by yan an artist.

For more yandere reading :

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senualothbrok · 3 months ago

Text

Oath of Devotion

Summary: When you accompany Karlach to Avernus after the defeat of the Netherbrain, you assume it is the end of your romance with Gale. But you have a lot to learn about the meaning of devotion.

An exploration of the power of love and friendship, featuring Professor Gale, Paladin Tav, Karlach and Wyll.

Word count: 6.6k

AO3 link

Disclaimers: Non-18+. Mild hurt/comfort.

A/N: This fic is dedicated to @dekariosclan, who wanted a story about a Tav who romances Gale but goes with Karlach to Avernus. I hope this hits the spot for you!

The dialogue in the scene at Withers' party is canon but for a few additions- you can watch it here.

Thank you again to @inglorionamy-ammy, beta reader extraordinaire.

She barrels into you when you hold it out. It is a ratty, one-eyed thing, as bruised and battered as you look on this winding road through death and destruction. But Karlach’s face lights up like you are offering her a gold-plated battleaxe, not an abandoned rag of a teddy bear.

“Mate!” she screeches, and you lurch at the tackling force of her embrace. “You shouldn't have!”

You cackle, because every time it is the same. As the heap of discarded and deformed teddies in her tent grows, each one anointed with a name and cherished place next to the inimitable Clive, so too does Karlach’s excitement. When you found her the first couple in a deserted shack - whimsically named Sasha and Roberto - you assumed that the novelty would soon wear off. But as usual, Karlach's enthusiasm knows no bounds.

“He's so cute!” She shrieks as she draws back from you, squishing the mangled thing against her cheek. “He looks like a Gary. Yeah. That's right. Gary. That's what we'll call him.”

She beams as she assigns Gary a sacred place within the mound of teddies in the corner of her tent. Peering inside, you chuckle at the chaos of weapons, armour and trinkets littered around her. She pats Gary proudly on the head as she returns to you.

“Never gets old.” You mirror her grin.

“You’re the best.”

She gives you a quick squeeze. You ignore the way her skin sears yours in her elation - nothing that a simple healing spell cannot fix - and clasp her shoulder with a laugh. When she gestures towards the blanket laid out on the grass and the bottle of wine beside it, you nod keenly, bounding over to lay side by side, staring up at the stars.

You have always been a traveller, journeying from place to place to follow whatever orders you received from the Justiciars of Tyr. Camping out under the bright expanse of the night sky is as familiar to you as breathing. The road has always been your home.

It is not that you hated returning to the Halls of Justice, your headquarters in Waterdeep, where you spent most of your formative years. But over time, it has worn on you, the rigid, tight-lipped Tyrran priests, the narrow-eyed magistrates, knights and lords who were as joyless as they were harsh. It was not that you did not love Tyr, that you did not believe in truth and justice and law and order. It was not that you did not wish to defend and protect. You just could not see why you had to be so miserable while doing it.

You have never been the sombre, stick-up-the-arse sort, the type to inspire hushed envy. You have always had your feet firmly on the ground, quick to laugh, slow to put on airs and graces. You are straightforward, run of the mill. With you, what you see is what you get.

You are ordinary. Unremarkable.

So you have known, from the start, that you would never rise up the ranks. You know you will never be a Justiciar of Tyr. And though that harrowed you when you were young and wide eyed - so determined to bring honour and glory to your parents as they toiled away on their meagre farmstead - you find it amusing now. With the stench of the House of Hope still clinging to your pores, you and Karlach guffaw at Raphael’s ridiculous singing as you felled him, the crash of Yurgir falling to the floor like a drunken toddler as she delivered the killing blow. Though the threat of doom looms around every corner, the fate of Faerun hanging over you like a noose, joy burns within you with a ferocity that you have never felt before. You have never felt more alive, or less alone.

But when Karlach tells you, in a conspiratorial, slightly bashful tone, about how tenderly Wyll removed a stray leaf from her hair earlier, she suddenly halts. Her face contorts as she sucks in a sharp breath. Her hand flies to her chest. You jerk up, stiff with worry.

“It’s alright.” She grits her teeth. “It’ll pass. It’s alright.”

Scorching tendrils pulse out from her chest, serrated cuts threatening to rip her apart. You grimace, your fingers sizzling as they rest on her arm. She curls into herself, braced against the onslaught. You feel frenzied, helpless. All you can do is wait.

“Karlach,” you plead after a pause. “We need to get you to–”

“Don’t,” she chokes. “Don’t even say it.”

Her fire is hurting now. You cannot help but flinch back. “It’s getting worse. I can’t just watch you-”

“Tav.” Her eyes are dark wells, flickering with flame. You realise that she is crying from the pain. “Don’t ask me. I won’t go back. I’m never going back.”

You shake your head. It is an argument you have had with her before. You do not wish to see the glee in your friend’s eyes shatter into rage, to hear her breathless from anguish rather than laughter. You do not wish to tell her what she does not want to hear. But you cannot bear it. You cannot allow her to suffer when there is a solution within her grasp.

“Ten years,” she spits out. “Ten years in that fucking place, with nothing and no one to call my own.” A fine mist rises from her heart as tears trickle down her skin. “I would rather die than be alone again.”

You notice that the flare of her chest is dimming, her breaths levelling as her features soften. But her resolve remains, as unyielding as her goodness, her loyalty, her zeal for life. You would not change her, not for all the fame and glory in the realms.

In that moment, you want to promise her. You want to tell her that she would not be returning to Avernus alone. But your mind is flooded by indigo streaks across a blue-green sky, the sandalwood scent of a brown sea, the spell of stubble on your skin. And you cannot speak.

So you take her hand, and you do not let go, even when your skin begins to blister.

*****

“How in the hells did you get everyone to clear off for the night?”

You are still adjusting to the stillness of your room at the Elfsong Tavern. After the whirlwind of panting cries and thrown off armour, the lurching groans of the bed beneath you, the calm feels almost unnatural.

Your head rises and falls on Gale’s chest as he laughs. You feel it as a low rumble through you, your arm draped over the muscled grooves of his abdomen. The damp down on his skin tickles your cheek as your fingers weave upwards through his tangled locks. You are drunk on the taste and scent of him, heady and bittersweet. It is a crackling bonfire on the coldest of nights, a bottomless ache that rubs you raw. You cannot get enough of him. You do not know how you will survive a separation.

“I confess, I did have some help from Karlach and Wyll.” He chuckles. “The three of us can be very persuasive. As can a generous budget for evening entertainment.”

“Wow. I’m impressed.”

You flick your tongue playfully over his nipple. He tenses, moans, tightens his grip on the cheek of your ass. All at once, you are ravenous.

“I live to impress you.”

The kiss starts as it always does, tender with longing, a gentle caress. And then you are all hunger and need, wanting and grasping and seeking, drinking from each other with a thirst that cannot be slaked. Drowning in the sea of him.

It scares you. The all-consuming demand of it, the fierceness of the passion that swallows you whole. The way the yearning blazes through every part of you, breaking down the barriers you have fortified between your mind, body and soul. How completely you want him, as though he is the answer to your every question. A feeling like no other, for a man like no other.

You have always been wary of reckless abandon. It was a lesson you learned early on in your travels. Love was a recipe for disaster when you could not guarantee you would be alive from one week to the next, or predict the movements of your missions. Love was a privilege you could not afford. Temporary delights sated the cravings of your flesh. You told yourself that was enough.

And then you met him.

“I’ve never felt this way before.”

You are not sure why you say it. Perhaps it is your body speaking, wrapped up in him, caught in a drowsy lull, fleetingly sated. He has expressed his love for you countless times, but you have not yet used the word. You are not sure what love means, beyond the orb and Mystra and the Crown of Karsus, beyond the Netherbrain and the threat of the end of the world. You see no half measures, no deceit or reserve in him. When he speaks of love, he means it.

But who is to say his love is not formed from desperation? That it is not just gratitude at unexpected companionship, a compulsion to seize every moment for fear that it might be his last? If you defeat the danger that threw you together, how can you be sure his love will endure? That you will not return to your vastly separate lives, as though it were all just a passing reprieve?

He smiles, glowing with the sheen of sweat, soft and hard and magnificent.

“Nor have I. And I never will again.”

His sincerity still surprises you. The openness of his gaze, like a clear horizon. You could lose yourself in the promise of his love. But you steel yourself. You remember who you are, the life you have led. He jumps on your hesitation.

“Do you doubt me?”

You try to sound wry, teasing.

“We’ve both been around awhile, Gale. You’ve had lovers before Mystra. You know your way around a bedroom.”

He tilts his head. “I can't tell if that's a compliment or a caveat.” His brow flickers, the beginnings of a frown. “Is that a cause for doubt, or…?”

“No. Yes. Well.” You look away, and when you meet his eyes again, you see that he is not fooled. Sometimes, it is unnerving to be known. To be seen. “What I’m saying is… you could have anyone you want. You did before, and you can again.”

You cannot bring yourself to mention the future. To ask, even implicitly, what will happen if you save the world and survive. If this is to be a pleasurable distraction, a momentary delight, then you would not want to ruin it. Yet somehow, the uncertainty is a thorn in your heart. It hurts to acknowledge it.

His eyes widen, as though he is stricken, almost offended.

“And I want you. Only you.”

He cups your cheek. There is an urgency there. Under the intensity of his gaze, you feel vaguely embarrassed. You had not planned to show him this. Your doubt. Your vulnerability.

But it does not deter him. Inexplicably, you know it never would.

“I love you, Tav.” His voice trembles with conviction. “I've never met anyone like you. You're…extraordinary. Extraordinarily beautiful. Extraordinarily strong. Extraordinarily kind, and wise.”

He pauses briefly, and the curl of his upper lip sends a roiling through your core.

“Extraordinary in your…unique talents.”

Your eyelids flutter as his fingers whisper over your hip, settling just beneath your navel. The catch in his breath mirrors your own.

“I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for you, and I'd wait a thousand more.”

He says the words like they are easy. Like they are not oaths, solemn and harrowing - a sacrifice only made for the greatest reward. You struggle against them, and you are not sure why. You want to trust him, but you do not know how.

Because you have always suspected that love was never meant for the likes of you. The love Gale speaks of is the stuff of songs and sagas, fairytales of noble maidens, not gruffly scarred farmer's daughters who have made no mark on the world. And you know, with every fibre of your being, that Gale deserves immeasurably more than your mediocre offering.

Fear and hope flit across Gale’s features as he gazes at you, waiting. You know he wants you to reply. He needs you to tell him you feel the same. To declare that you love him with the same consuming constancy. That you are his, just as he is yours.

But you cannot speak. His turmoil pierces you, and you feel helpless, frenzied. So you crush yourself against him, and you answer with a kiss.

*****

You are grumbling at the rip in your breeches, your punishment for swinging at a rabid imp just a second too late. The sky is darkening like a blood clot. Karlach is jabbing at the caves in the distance where you will make camp, launching into ancient strategies and hoarded secrets. With her engine stabilised here, she is broader, defter, more self-assured. In spite of the smothering decay of Avernus, she radiates with life.

But you are exhausted. The stink of sulphur scours you, and you wonder if you will ever feel clean again. You long for the relief of lush greens and blinding blues, the caress of silk and softness. You miss the cool brush of the wind and sea. And beneath the murk and mire, a chasm has opened inside you that you struggle to ignore.

You are nodding and grunting as Karlach spitballs, and then you see it. A mangled lump by your feet. A soiled leather cover, clinging to shreds of charred vellum. You surge forward to pick it up.

“I reckon we'll be safe there tonight, but–”

Karlach stops, glancing over. “What?”

You sweep away the crust of dust and blood from its scorched surface. Nearby, a half-buried skeleton gapes in rotted robes.

“A spell book. Useless now.”

Karlach stares at you. You can feel the weight of her appraisal as the memories assail you - dancing fingers and lavender lightning, intricate crow's feet adorning smiling eyes. Rumbling incantations, tingling on your skin.

You stuff the tattered tome into your pack and walk on.

***

You are flicking through the remains of the torched tome. In the glow of the dying campfire, you can just about make out the haphazard scrawl of its dead owner. You are disappointed by the sharp, messy strokes, so harsh and ugly compared to the elegant cursive you know so well. The sparse pages, devoid of elaborate diagrams and rambling annotations. Their emptiness winds you. Grief follows like a wave, and you fight against the shaking of your hands.

“Come on then, soldier. Out with it.”

You start at Karlach's voice. The force of her presence jars you back from the brink. When you look up, her eyes are firm and gentle at the same time.

“Out with what?” you blurt.

She huffs, picking at the carcass of the abyssal chicken you shared for supper.

“Whatever’s got your goat.”

Instinctively, you wave her away. But you gasp as she lurches forward, grabbing you by the shoulders. When you break free, she holds your gaze.

“You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, right?”

You are stunned by her unexpected seriousness. She waits, expectant, stubborn. You sigh.

“Of course I do.”

Her brows steeple. “Then talk to me. Because if I have to go one more day seeing you this fucking miserable, my heart might actually break.”

You raise an eyebrow, your last defence. “We came here to stop that from happening.”

“Exactly!” She throws her hands up. “So ‘fess up.”

You shift awkwardly. You suddenly realise how difficult it is to speak about your feelings, even to Karlach. Not simple feelings like lust or anger, amusement or delight. Not the stuff of throwaway comments, wry banter or gushing anecdotes. Those things come as easily to you as your friendship.

No. What you cannot admit is the gaping hole inside you. How it felt to be cocooned in his embrace. The miracle of joining your soul to his, as though you had always been complete. The boundless warmth of him nestled inside you, flowing around you, melting into you. The ebb and flow of home.

You remember the anguished panic on his face, shadowed in the setting sun. The realisation in his searching eyes as you knelt beside Karlach on the docks, paralysed by choice. The tight line of his soft lips as you looked at him one last time, haunted by the ghost of that final, unclaimed kiss, of everything spoken and unspoken.

If you speak of these things, they will swallow you whole. And you are not sure you can endure that, even after all the battles you have survived.

“You can talk about him, you know,” she says, as though she can read your mind. As though you never needed a tadpole to understand each other.

“Who?” A knee jerk answer.

Karlach rolls her eyes. “Who do you think? Do you know another magic man with big doe eyes who can ride you into the astral plane?”

You grimace. On a drunken ramble back in Baldur’s Gate, you had described in detail to Karlach all the places and ways Gale had taken you. You will never live it down.

“Admit it. You miss Gale. That's what's eating at you.”

Part of you wants to shrug her off, tell her to drop it. But you know the doggedness of Karlach’s loyalty, constant as the sun. She jostles you, a motion meant to reassure. Her nails rap loudly against her chest, a clattering echo around the darkness of the cave.

“When we've fixed this baby, we'll go home. I'll find Wyll, and you'll find Gale. It'll all work out. You'll see.”

She sounds so certain. Once again, you marvel at her stalwart optimism, unwavering through the most unimaginable cruelties. You feel almost ashamed to burst her bubble.

“Karlach, Gale and I aren't…”

You gesture uselessly. Your chest heaves.

“It's not like you and Wyll,” you manage. “You guys are practically married. You know he's waiting for you in Baldur’s Gate. He knows you'll go back to him when all this is done.”

“And?” She frowns. “How's that different?”

You look down at the spell book in your lap. A sliver of vellum dissolves into black dust on your fingers.

“I left, Karlach.” You sound defeated. Small.

You watch as Karlach’s features tighten in thought, then widen in realisation. Sorrow twists on her face.

“Soldier,” she whispers. “I never asked for–”

You straighten immediately. “You didn't have to. I wanted to." Your voice swells as you clasp her arm. "You're my best mate, Karlach. My sister. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.”

For a moment, you think she might cry. Then she clutches you against her so tightly you can barely breathe. She does not smell of sandalwood and soap, but oil and sweat. And though her warmth is that of a blazing furnace and not the summer sea, you rest in it for a while.

“He loves you, Tav." Her words are muffled by her embrace. "More than anything.”

“Maybe he did," you concede. "Maybe he was lonely, and horny, and scared. But I left. He’s probably given the Crown back to Mystra by now. She's probably taken him back.”

Karlach pulls back roughly. “You’re joking. You think Gale would go back to Mystra, after everything? After you?”

You shrug. “Well, if not Mystra, he could have his pick. Plenty for him to choose from.”

“I can't tell if you're being serious. Are you serious?”

She stares at you, incredulous. You draw in a shaky breath.

“It would never have lasted, Karlach."

You offer it as an explanation, but she seems more baffled than before.

“What in the hells are you talking about?”

An image of Gale comes to you unbidden. Poised and ready, all broad shoulders and billowing robes, threads of silver shining amidst the brown waves that frame his chiselled face. He flashes you that smouldering look, halfway between a smile and a smirk, as his lithe fingers whip up a storm in the distance.

You toss the spell book on the ground.

"A man like Gale... a woman like me." Your jaw clenches. "What happened between us was a fluke. A blip for him. I probably did him a favour by leaving. No loose ends to tie up. Now he can move on. Greener pastures, and all that.”

Karlach stiffens and scoffs. “Now I know you can't be serious. Because my mate Tav isn't a total idiot who's completely lost the plot.”

You are taken aback by her uncharacteristic scorn. You are about to shoot back a reflexive retort when she halts.

“Oh.” She blows out a long breath. “I get it.”

You twitch. “What now?”

“It’s your blind spot." She nods smugly, as though she has cracked a puzzle. "Like how you drop your guard sometimes when you dodge.”

You do not follow. It does not escape Karlach's notice, the mounting frustration squirming beneath your skin.

“You can't see what's fucking obvious.” Her words are harsh, but her tone is placating. Patient. She sighs, heavy with affection.

“Tav.”

There is tenderness in the way she leans forward, looking you straight in the eye. You cannot help but soften. To be mad at Karlach would be like fighting without your sword. You just cannot do it.

“This is a bloke who talked my ear off about how your armour brought out the green of your eyes.” She chuckles. “He just wouldn't shut up about you. How brave you are, how kind, how awesome you are. How the sun shines out of your arse. We used to leave him with Minsc just so we could have a break.”

She chortles, then notices your surprise. In mock defence, she raises her palms to you.

“Look, I love Gale. You know I love Gale. And I adore you. But I really don't want to hear about your muscles bulging in the heat of battle. Or anywhere else.”

When you burst into laughter, Karlach beams.

“Even Wyll couldn't take Gale's lectures. I think he even fell asleep once.”

She bobs her head, lowering her voice into a husky baritone, her pointed finger wiggling in the air.

“Do you have a minute? Because I need to tell you about how loyal and smart and caring Tav is. No, I must insist on telling you all about it. Now. Pish posh.”

You cackle, but you cannot stifle the ache that tears through you. What you would not give to have him here with you now, and not an absurd imitation.

“Gods, that man would not let up about you," Karlach groans. "Shadowheart almost threw up when Gale started talking about your musk. He almost melted Astarion’s brain, too, when he said your scars were ugly."

You wish you had been there for these interchanges. You had no idea of them, beyond curiosity at Gale's unexpected affinity with Minsc. Now, the idea of Gale singing your praises and defending your honour makes you want to weep.

"A couple times, I even saw Lae'zel chuckle at the way Gale looked at you." She guffaws. "Lae'zel! Chuckling! She didn't even go off on one about istiks being pathetic. That's the power of love, right there.”

You are staring at your trembling hands. A whirlwind of hunger, hurt and hope is gathering inside you. You do not know what to do with it.

Karlach is silent for a while. When she speaks again, her voice is solemn as a promise.

“He loves you, Tav. That kind of love doesn't just go away.”

'I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for you,' he had said, 'and I'd wait a thousand more.' You wrestle with the weight of his words, the weight of hers. You shake your head.

“I never told him, Karlach. I never got to say….”

The tears choke you. All at once, you cannot think, cannot speak. She takes your hand, and she does not let it go.

“We'll fix me up, and then you can tell him. You can tell him everything.”

****

“So you came back.”

His gaze darts away from you, his hands clasping and unclasping. He looks as nervous as you feel, stooping awkwardly to greet you like a half-stranger. But in the haze of candlelight, buoyed by the heavenly breeze of meat and mead and flowers, he glows. He is just as you remember him, a vision in purple and gold. Your every longing and memory made flesh.

“You look well.” He shuffles, a halting smile quivering on his lips. “A little singed around the edges, but well.”

You have never before felt self-conscious in his presence. But standing before him now, so close you could reach out and touch him, you are ashamed. You are embarrassed by your dented armour, your torn and dusty boots. Having just narrowly survived a group of cambions sent by Zariel, there had not been time for you and Karlach to primp and preen - not that the two of you ever wasted energy on that. You could not have leapt faster through the portal back to Faerun to answer Withers’ summons.

Appearances never mattered to Gale. He always saw through to the heart of a person, finding beauty in the alignment of a soul. It is one of the things you love most about him. But tonight, as the strange stiffness between you expands, you find yourself fretting over the bunching of your braids, your unpainted eyes, the fresh scars on your arms.

“So do you, Gale.”

Your voice is strained. Every muscle in your body yearns to spring forward, to talk to him with touch. But he stands apart, worlds away. Perhaps he is beyond your reach, after everything that has passed between you.

At the corner of your eye, Karlach throws her arms around Wyll’s neck with a squeal. You turn to watch as she lifts him up, twirling him around to a chorus of hoots and whistles. You grin and clap as they collapse into each other. You hear Gale chuckling behind you, that most soothing of sounds.

When you turn back, there is a moment when you simply gaze at him. You notice the empty canvas of his chest, laid bare by the tantalising dip of his richly embroidered doublet. Freedom, plain and pure, radiates from the unmarred plane of his bronze-kissed skin.

You think of all the times you traced the mark of the orb with your fingers, your lips, your tongue, pressing your love into his wounds, covering them with the balm of your desire. Is it recognition that glimmers in his eyes as they meet yours? Yearning?

He clears his throat. Perhaps not.

“I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Not sure where to begin.”

For months, you have imagined what you would say to him. All the doubts you would lay down, all the things you would confess. In the silence of your loneliest nights, you prayed and pleaded with Tyr for a second chance, promising, with a resolve as strong as your Oath of Devotion, that you would not waste it.

But now that he is here, words fail you. What you want, in this instant, is to listen. To hear the resonant song of his voice, the lilting passion of it. To soak in the gentle earth of his eyes, the gossamer lines of delight and wisdom that dance on his face. To bask in the miracle of him.

“Why don't you start at the beginning?” you ask.

He tilts his head. Then his jaw clenches, as though he is bracing himself.

“I promise I've not been moping around waiting for your return.”

It jolts you, the hint of bitterness. You have hurt him, and maybe there can be no second chances after that. Perhaps you cannot make amends for who you truly are.

But then his voice drops. His brow arches ever so slightly. There is the ghost of that sideways smile that has always driven you wild.

“Though of course I longed for it.”

It takes you a moment to register it. He longed for your return. Waited. Slowly, mercifully, he begins to tell you about his life at Blackstaff Academy. You savour the familiar enthusiasm that snowballs as he speaks, the lively flurry of his hands, a secret language in itself. When you learn that he is a Professor of Illusory Magic, hear him extol the manifold wonders of imagination and lament the ineptitude of his apprentices with wry affection, you grin so widely that your cheeks ache.

You have always believed in Gale - his stout heart, girded with goodness, his keen mind, honed as the sharpest blade. It has always been your greatest hope for him - to see him content with the man he is, no longer shackled to a mirage of the man he should be. If this is the end of the road, if a stilted goodbye is all that lies between you now, it would be a torment. An agony you will carry with you for the rest of your days. But there is no doubt in your mind. You would suffer any pain for his peace. His happiness.

It is like you are old friends when he asks about your time in Avernus. You tell him about the endless hoards of hunters trailing after you, the running count of kills that Karlach insists on keeping (she is currently leading by three). He shares your disgust with what passes as food in the hells, your excitement about the blueprints you found. When you tell him about Zariel’s forge, where you and Karlach are heading to fix her heart, you can almost hear the gears turning in his mind as he furrows his brow. You explain that Karlach is making inroads with one of Zariel’s guards, an old acquaintance of hers who thrives on chaos. Now, it is just a matter of biding your time before you make a move.

You are struck, again and again, by how much you have missed Gale’s laugh. The brightness of his discerning eyes. The plump arc of his lips curving into a grin. Lost pieces of yourself, restored for a fleeting night.

“I almost feel sorry for the devils in your path.” He smirks. “I mean, I don’t, of course. I’m sure they deserve it.”

He leans forward. As the wind weaves through his hair, you catch the notes of leather, scrolls, and sandalwood. Home. You breathe deeply, storing up his scent. You do not ever want to forget it.

“I've told my students plenty of tales about our escapades. You're something of a hero to them, you know?”

Something reverberates inside you. Dimly, you recall the weariness in your parents’ eyes when you returned to their farm on your thirtieth birthday. “Not a Justiciar, no. Still just an ordinary Paladin.” When, a few steps down the dirt track on the day of your departure, you turned back to wave goodbye, they had already scurried back into the house. Relieved to see the back of you, to be done with yet another disappointment in the ceaseless toil of their lives.

But Gale looks at you with pride, a kind of awe. A hero, he says. Extraordinary, he once called you.

“I'll be delighted to introduce you to them when you return. That is, if you wish to return to Faerun. Or to me.”

There is a fullness in his gaze now. The brown flame that flares is unmistakable. It is a swollen, throbbing desire that roils through you, a desperate mirror of your want.

He waits. For all this time, he has waited. Standing together where it all began, surrounded by the symphony of those you cherish most, you see him so clearly. The depths of his devotion. The boundlessness of his love. His need and hunger, wrestling against his fear.

There is so much you want to tell him, so much of your soul you wish to lay bare. It is not too late, you realise. If you open yourself to him, he will embrace you, as though there is no past, no future. Only the endless horizon of the astral sea.

“I want nothing more, Gale,” you whisper.

He heaves, a burst of relief, disbelief, elation. His whole body seems to vibrate, beaming with the bliss of a burden lifted, a mystery finally solved. The glorious end to a grueling journey, a terminus for which he has fought tooth and nail, trusting, against all odds, in a home where you would both come to rest. And when he steps forward, reaching out to you, you drift towards him like a star falling back to earth.

But then it seizes you. You stop in your tracks, bowled over by a compulsion to protect. An urge to throw yourself before him like a shield. This man, who has sacrificed and suffered for you. This marvel of a man, who deserves nothing less than the full measure of you. You cannot take away the victory he has won, against all odds, over the demons of his history. You cannot jeopardise the peace he has laboured so hard for. You could never forgive yourself.

You force yourself back.

“Zariel knows we're coming.” Your voice breaks. “She has an army guarding the forge.”

Gale’s features freeze in shock, the anticipation of pain. Your withdrawal is a blow. To hurt him so soon after hope - it is unbearable. But you must protect him. You cannot take the risk.

"We might not make it in. Or out. I don't want you to…I can't let you…”

He searches your face. You push out the words - a guttering plea, woefully inadequate.

“I might not make it back, Gale.”

There is a twisting in his face, a faltering as he considers you. Then his eyes widen, blazing with sudden understanding. He huffs, a gentle half-laugh, brimming with affection. It throws you, and when he speaks, his tenderness reminds you of all those nights when you lay beside him, wanting for nothing.

“Your caution is warranted. But believe me, I know enough about divination to promise you that our future is one worth looking forward to.”

You stare at him. Divination? Has he sought out your future, while he yearned for your return? Can it be that he has seen it, the two of you living as one, the answer to every prayer you feared to offer up to Tyr? Your breath hitches.

“A crackling hearth. Two cosy armchairs beside it. A bottle of wine to be poured. And your battleworn boots, discarded at long last by the door. That is the life we have waiting for us. Believe in it, and it will come.”

You can almost see it. The fine veins of his forearm flickering as he turns a page. His moist lips tingling on your fingers as they trail through his beard. Beads of sweat like pearls, settling into the nook of his clavicle, shadowed in the firelight.

Desire takes you like a flood. You can no longer resist the tide of his resolve, the smouldering embrace of his certainty. All of your questions, all of your doubts, dissolve like mist as he strides towards you.

His closeness is a spell. You are enthralled by the whisper of his hair against your temple, the caress of wine on his breath. The bold curve of his nose ghosts over yours, luring you closer. All at once, you are dizzy, falling into him. He draws back, teasing and playful, and when he laughs, you grab hold of him and crush your lips on his.

And then, all you can feel and smell and taste is him.

*****

He is stooped over his desk at the front of the lecture hall. Framed by intricate oak walls and animated portraits of Blackstaff legends, the fervent undulations of his cursive on the chalk board behind him, his beauty takes your breath away. His hair is longer now, lighter, adorned with gleaming clusters of white-grey. He is leaner, sharper at the edges, but somehow more solid. More true.

Squinting into a mass of scrolls, he is in a world of his own, muttering and gesturing to himself, a mixture of irritation, confusion, determination. Even from the back of the room, you can make out the wrinkle of his thinking line, that most endearing of expressions. You chuckle.

He barely glances up at the sound. He calls out with a practised weariness, a sternness that you have never heard before but instantly relish.

“If you're here for the lecture on the nature and use of simulacrums, you are disgracefully, appallingly late–”

He jerks his head, his gaze finally lifting towards you. When his eyes meet yours, he lets out a gasp that lurches through his shaking frame. And then he is sprinting, leaping through the rows of chairs, hurtling into you like a flaming comet.

Your bodies weave together, clutching, seeking, finding. His hot tears, his juddering breaths, the frenetic beating of his heart, echoing and melting into yours.

“You're back.” He cups your face, pressing his forehead to yours. “You came back.”

You lean into his touch, ravenous for more. All this time, believing you could not love him, doubting he could feel the same - now, all you want is to fill yourself with him. The musk of soap and bookdust, the taste of coffee and salt, the heat of his thrumming muscles flush against yours. You are dissolving into a flurry of kisses, each one more eager than the last, sealing your promise against his tear-streaked skin. You do not hold back. You will never hold back again.

“I love you, Gale,” you pant. “I've loved you since the day we met. I’ve spent a lifetime waiting for you, and I'd wait a thousand more.”

The awe and wonder in his eyes reflects your own. He is quivering, letting out tiny sighs of jubilation. As his fingers dance up your chest, your neck, the knots of your braids, you tremble under his touch, grinning at the certainty that you will never again go without it.

“Where's Karlach?” he murmurs into your hair, as you run your nose over the stubble on his jawline, savouring the rough and smooth of him.

“She's headed for Baldur’s Gate to find Wyll. She’s promised to visit us as soon as they can.” You draw back. “That is, if you want me to stay here, with you.”

He huffs, amused, incredulous. His fingers find yours. Time stands still as he raises your hand to his lips. When he plants a kiss along the scarred ridge of your knuckles, it has the passion and devotion of an oath.

“I want you to marry me,” he breathes.

You look at him for a long time. You will never tire of the sight. Yours is a love that will last a lifetime, a love greater than any legend or saga, stronger than any fairytale. This man, this miracle, forever yours, just as you are forever his. You have no doubts about it now.

Joy burns within you, a fire in your soul that will never fade.

You laugh, and you answer with a kiss.

*********

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