#deer pun | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jurijyuu · 7 months ago

Link

After months of living in the hotel, you’d come to know and be friends with everyone.

You notice that Alastor was acting a bit strange today. Turns out, it’s time for his antlers to shed velvet. In an attempt to become friends with him, you offer to help.

Using Ynna as a stand-in for Y/N so we don’t break immersion.

Tags: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Reader-insert, light cannibalism, Bad Puns, Fluff, Slow Burn, Non-Con Cannibalism, Manipulation, Obsessive Behavior, Possessive Behavior, Dad Jokes, Soft Alastor, Mildly Naive Reader, Biting, Blood, Dancing, Coffee Dates

Chapter 1

Ynna’s POV

Alastor was always poised, graceful even. He had calculated movements and grandiose theatrical flair. You envied his coordination, never once looking awkward. So it was weird to see him twitch so much. From morning till now as you all sat eating the dinner the deer demon prepared, you’d noticed how his ears flicked and how he’d shake his head every so often. His hands, graceful and confident with whatever he was doing, would make small aborted movements every now and then.

The usually stoic Alastor looked uncomfortable and only you seemed to notice.

“Is the jambalaya not to your liking, my dear? You haven’t taken a bite.” Across from you, his staticky voice drew your attention from his small movements back to the present. He dabbed a napkin to his grinning mouth while looking at you in question. You blinked and coughed a little, embarrassed to be caught staring.

“Uh no… sorry. Was a little distracted there.” You take a bite of the dish he had prepared and savor the spicy rich taste. It was so good you could feel yourself smiling a little in bliss. “Delicious as usual, Alastor. Thank you for the food.”

“My pleasure, dear. My pleasure. It brings me great joy to hear compliments on my mother’s recipe.”

The others chimed in with burps, asking for seconds or more compliments. Dinner continued as usual and you momentarily stopped thinking about the demon’s weird behavior. It was probably nothing.

You bring the dirty dishes to the sink afterwards before putting on an apron to wash them. You took over this chore as it bothered you that the cook also cleaned the kitchen. That’s just not how it was done when you were alive and those old ingrained lessons from childhood remained in you after all that time.

Behind you, Alastor was organizing his spice cabinet. The man was particular about where each spice was kept so he insisted on doing this himself.

The tune of some long ago melody was playing from him. Like most nights, this was a peaceful and quiet time. A few months ago, you would flinch and fight the urge to run away whenever the Radio Demon was near. One day, when you’d gathered the courage to speak to Alastor after dinner, you’d told him that you would like to do the dishes in thanks for his cooking. He’d laughed a staticky fake chuckle and accepted your offer. He then proceeded to watch you work the whole time, chiming in when things weren’t done the way he’d liked. It was arguably, one of the most unpleasant experiences you’d had since coming down. The radio demon did not hold back when it came to his kitchen. Now, you enjoyed these peaceful moments where the clinking of dishes were accompanied by the sound of an old tune.

You were just catching onto the tune, about to hum with it, when it was suddenly cut short. Behind you, there was a growl and the sound of scratching.

“You okay?” You dry your hands as you look over at him. He was scratching at his ear like a puppy.

“Just fine, my dear. Nothing to worry about.” He made a dismissive gesture though his grin remained a tad strained. He peeled a piece of what looked like skin from his antler which seemed to be what was bugging him. He inspected the piece before throwing it in the bin. It was bloody and disgusting and you must’ve been making a face because he chuckled when he looked back at you.

You’d seen this on TV before, back when you were alive. Deer needed to shed skin from their antlers as part of the growth process. You didn’t think that would apply to a deer demon since you’ve seen him change the size of his antlers at will. But all animal demons carried some animal quirk or another based on their form. It made some sense that Alastor would have to go through something so irritating yet utterly pointless in his afterlife. This was Hell after all.

You wanted to pick at it. Would it be squishy? Soft? Was it as gross as it looked? There was an impulse to poke at the spots you now could see shedding but you knew the demon would blast you for even trying. It was a little impulsive but you just had to ask him if you could touch it.

“I noticed you looking a little…uncomfortable today. Would you like some help with shedding the velvet from your antlers?”

Alastor’s POV

While he knew Ynna was a very forward, even blunt, individual, he was still caught by surprise at the offer. Mostly, by the nature of the task. In all her time here at the hotel, she had not tried to initiate contact with him except for a handshake in the beginning. He’s seen her hug Angel Dust and the girls, give friendly pats in passing to Husker and the snake. In fact, his impression of her was that she was a very touchy person, especially after she had settled in with the group. But she had never done so with him once he’d expressed his dislike for being touched. He knew it stemmed from a healthy amount of fear she had for him. He liked that about her.

She was more thoughtful than the rest, even going as far as unconsciously blocking others from touching him by accident.

In fact, he had just enough good will for her to consider her offer.

Part of him recoiled at the thought of someone getting close to his head. A bigger part of him was just begging at the bit scrape off all the excess skin. All day, he’d felt the tight pull against his antlers. All day, he’d held back the urge to find a suitable tree to rub against. It was a humiliating display that he’d rather not have to do but was forced to every single year.

“I don’t think you’d like that, dear. It’s a bit more of a hassle than it looks.”

Her head tilted a little to the side, surely doubting his statement due to how small his antlers looked atop his head. Silly girl. She’s had the fortune of not seeing his full demon form. If she had, it may have taken longer for her to try opening up to him. Maybe never at all if all the times she’d avoided him in the past were any indication of just how terrified she was of him.

Even now, there was hesitation and apprehension in her eyes though she looked quite sincere with her offer. Was this a gesture of friendship on her part? It was almost touching how caring she looked at the moment.

“All the more reason for me to help. Unless you just don’t want me to touch you, which is fine. Just thought I’d offer.” Her hands went in front of her in a gentle surrender, as if giving back space she’d invaded on accident.

There it was again. Caring and respectful, though he’d call it cowardly if he was being honest. Very forward but also easily backed down. So very much like the mountain goat animal her form was, taking careful steps to get to her destination but always hanging at the edge of a cliff. If she fell, would she stick the landing? So far, she had.

He looked at her as if contemplating her offer. He already made up his mind to take her up on it. No one had ever touched his antlers. He wasn’t sure if it would feel just as deplorable as being touched anywhere else on his body. At the very least, she was the most respectful of boundaries within the hotel. He could trust her with making the experience somewhat tolerable if it would rid him of the irritation quicker.

His silent stare unnerved her and it was so very entertaining to see her doubt herself. He could see the thoughts running through her mind. Had she just overstepped some unspoken boundary with an Overlord? Was he offended? Should she just pretend it never happened?

“Then I’ll take you up on that offer. Meet me in my suite later?” He answered just as she was about to retract her offer. She sighed and then smiled in relief. She was surprised he agreed. Why she bothered to try being friendly with him when it caused her so much distress, he would never understand but was it so very amusing to watch.

“Great. I’ll see you later.” The woman turned back to the dishes, humming a tune he recognized as the one he was playing earlier. How adorable.

Ynna’s POV

You were surprisingly looking forward to helping Alastor. After feeling at home with everybody at the hotel, it bothered you that you weren’t as close to Alastor as with the rest. Of course, you didn’t think that Alastor would be the type to have friends but it felt like giving up to not even try to close some of the gap. Now that you were a little less terrified of him and he seemed to not mind your presence, it was a good time to try getting closer.

Approaching the demon’s door, you wondered what it would look like inside. How would Alastor’s prim and proper appearance translate to his personal space? How many radios would he have in there?

The door opened with magic after you knocked. The scene inside stunned you. Passed the vanity and bed was a swamp that seemed to go further in with no wall on the other side. Before you could really think about how he managed to keep a swamp in here, little scratching noises drew your attention to the room’s occupant. At a table near the edge of the swamp, Alastor sat picking at his now elongated antlers. They were stunningly huge. You’ve never seen them that grand before, spanning longer than his arms and a head taller. They were comically disproportionate to his body.

“Welcome my dear. I hope you’re still up to the task after seeing this?” The smile on his face was a touch amused, probably because you were once again caught staring. Going deeper into the room, you note its tidiness. It was oddly minimalistic. Bookshelf, radios (you count at least 2), dresser, vanity and a bed. You guess the swamp did count as an eccentric item that matched Alastor’s huge looming presence. There was also the vivid red wallpaper that gave the room a rich feeling.

Overall, the room fit him with its odd juxtaposition.

“Looks like fun.” Stepping up to him, you stand behind where he’s seated. The sight was gruesome from up close. Blackening bone peaked out from peeling skin. Little bits dangled from where threads still kept hanging on. Everything was bloody. It was so gross yet so fascinating. “Should I get started?”

“Knock yourself out, my dear.”

With his consent, you pinch a bit of the dangling skin. The furry part was soft to the touch though there was definitely a squelch of fleshy bits underneath. “Does that hurt?”

“Haha not even a bit.” He says as he sips a cup of coffee that had manifested in front of him.

“Ok. Cool.” This time you take out a fileting knife. “I’m gonna use a knife to scrape the velvet off. Let me know if it bothers you.” He casually waved, amused that you thought you could hurt him.

Starting from the farthest tip of his right antler, you scrape against the bone. It became quickly apparent that the antler was harder than your knife as it dealt no damage to the bone beneath the velvet. Carefully skinning the fleshy parts, you become entranced with the process. Each slice easily cut through skin and with a bit of pressure, it peeled away.

There was a soft tune, too soft for you to hear the words in the song, but it played from one of the radios in the room. For a moment, you think about the kitchen. The atmosphere in the room felt similar to that. It was calm and peaceful despite your fingers getting bloodier with each piece you stripped from bone. A memory overlaps with the sight in front of you. You used to brush your sister’s hair when you were alive.

“I must say, this is turning out to be a lot more pleasant than expected. Like a spa day as you dames would call it.”

“I can wash your hair after too if you’d like. This is actually pretty fun.”

As you tugged a long strip off the antler, it resembled a thick strand of hair. If you had enough strands, you could make a braid. You giggled at the gross imagery of a bloody ribbon before you cut the strand off completely. “What should I do with this?” Showing the macabre strand to the demon.

“Did you know that stags eat this after they’ve shed?”

“Nope. I thought they were herbivores.”

“On occasion, they do eat meat. I’ve seen one gnaw on human flesh before.” He had to be kidding, right? He was the type to say something horrible just to see people around him squirm but he also wasn’t a liar so that must be true.

“That is…fascinating. Not the kind of red velvet I’d eat but to each their own I guess.” You continue to cut through the skin. You’re about halfway through the first antler, pulling a strand off a pointed tip like pulling off a sock. Except there was a bloody residue left behind, sparkling on the obsidian like bone.

“Oh? What kind of red velvet do you eat, my dear? Pillow covers?”

It took a second for you to process that. You laugh more at the absurdity of the radio demon and how poorly executed that quip was. “Was that a sex joke? From you, Alastor?” You cackle some more while taking another slice at the antler. “And it’s cake. Red velvet is a cake flavor.”

You set the bits and pieces you peeled off on the table. Surely, things were going well if he was trying to crack jokes.

“I didn’t think you’d get it my dear. You always struck me as rather vanilla.” You laugh some more. Puns were always your weakness.

“I see someone had pun-cakes for breakfast.” The antler beneath shakes a bit as the man chuckles. Static crackles in your ear. You’re rather pleased with yourself at the sound.

Alastor’s POV

“No batter way to start the day, I say.” He laughed at his own joke, watching with interest as your bloody hand dropped pieces of him on the table. It was almost a shame that he couldn’t feel any pain from it.

“I am thankful you didn’t waffle on your offer to help. Though it did catch me by surprise.” The sound of her laughter was lovely. He’d found so few who could appreciate his sense of humor.

“Same here. Glad I asked. I didn’t know your sense of humor would be so en-deer-ing.”

Her hands were closer to the base of his antler now. The scraping felt more prominent, each pass of the knife sending pleasant shivers down his spine. Like an itch finally scratched, it was euphoric. It almost made him regret not getting some unfortunate soul to tend to this need sooner. Almost. Ynna’s pleasant company surely played a role in his enjoyment. As he’d expected, she was careful where she touched. Even though it must’ve strained her a bit to reach over his head, she still made an effort not to touch any part of him other than his antlers.

Picking up a piece of velvet, he started to tear into the strip like jerky. Above him, her hands stilled. She must’ve been repulsed by the display. Turning to get a look at her face, his grin widened when indeed she had turned green and pale before coming back to normal.

“Something wrong, dear?”

He heard her swallow what could have been bile or a bad remark about his eating habits. Either way, what fun it was to make her uncomfortable.

“No. Nothing wrong..” she placed another piece onto the table and continued to work as if she wasn’t watching him cannibalize himself with pieces she’d “prepared”.

She must’ve finished the right antler by now as her hands started working on the left. Inch by inch, he felt the pressure on his antler lighten. Discreetly bringing his microphone at an angle facing them, he peered through its eye to watch Ynna as she worked. Contrary to what he thought, she was smiling. He knew she was disgusted seeing him eat the velvet but she looked like she enjoyed the act of skinning his antlers. He recognized the fascination on her face, almost childlike and serene.

“Were you a medical professional in life? You seem rather handy with a knife.”

“No. The only time I held a scalpel was to dissect frogs during a biology class.”

“You’re a highly educated gal then. I only finished high school before jumping into broadcasting.” School hadn’t been a good memory for him. The usual bullies and brutes strutting about making hell on earth for the other children.

“What was your broadcast like? I’m sure it wasn’t murder and tips from cannibal culinary critics.”

“So you do listen to my show.” How delightful. He was almost certain no one in the hotel cared for his broadcast. Not that they had a choice. “In the earlier years, it was the news, and jazz. When it really took off was when I was able to obtain details about the mysterious killings happening in New Orleans from the police.”

Remembering those old days, he mimicked the tone of the time. “New Orleans killer strikes again as a new victim was found last night. Please be advised, dear listeners, a devil walks among us.”

“And were you that devil, Alastor?” Her hands continued to work, already anticipating his answer and seemingly unbothered.

“Of course.” He took a hearty bite of velvet as he answered her. From the microphone’s cyclops eye, he saw her face turn contemplative though she didn’t stop the rhythm she had going on. He was interested to see her reaction. He’d never shared that detail about his past before. It was just heavily implied.

Ynna’s POV

Were you bothered by Alastor’s casual admittance to being a serial killer? Not really. It was heavily implied with how he carried himself and acted. It was more that you could picture yourself as one of those people in the audience, listening closely to each detail that the police had allowed to be on air. It would have been scandalous, scary, sensational.

“I would have been hooked, become a fan of the show. Something about death was so fascinating when we were alive. Plus, your delivery was great.” You shared your honest thoughts.

“I’m a professional, my dear. Thank you for the praise.” Alastor preened below you, proud of his work back up top. You ponder about how many he must’ve killed to become so powerful immediately upon entry to Hell. It was gross to think about. A sad and unpleasant reality. Many denizens of Hell were like him, unrepentant or even proud murderers. You as well, though it had only been the one.

Jazz was playing on the radio now. The sound was noticeably louder than the earlier songs. It filled the room, leaving no space for conversation. It was like a spell cast upon the scene, both of you silently enjoying the evening.

As you pull the last bit of velvet off, a tiny fluffy bit, you think about how Alastor seemed to actually be enjoying eating the pieces. Though you’d never try it, you did think about taking a bite just to see. You weren’t convinced it would taste good at all, it was raw and furry, not to mention unseasoned.

It was in your mouth before you even thought to put it down.

You choked, unable to decide whether it would be extremely rude to spit it out and wretch like you wanted to but also freaked out that you acted on that intrusive thought.

It sat on your tongue, saliva pooling around it. You could taste the metallic tang of blood and feel the unpleasant sensation of hairs tickling the roof of your mouth. Bile was burning up your throat from the need to puke but you were stubbornly keeping your mouth shut because the Radio Demon was looking at you like he was about to eat you.

Alastor’s head whipped 180 degrees to look at you. His grin was menacing and eyes wide with dials for pupils.

You didn’t mean to. Oh gods you didn’t mean to. What the fuck were you supposed to do in this situation?! He’s angry! Fuck fuck fuck!

Alastor’s POV

At some point, Ynna had fallen into a rhythm, no longer focused on the task at hand and letting her mind wander. It was impressive to see her do it. Her eyes were unfocused but her hands were still careful with the knife. She tended to get like this at times when working in the hotel. While he could chastise her for losing focus, she hadn’t caused any accidents thus far so he let it go.

He was enjoying the treatment and the atmosphere was nice. Up until the very end when her unfocused eyes looked at the last bit of velvet she’d scraped off the tip and popped it into her mouth like a candy drop.

His head swiveled in surprise.

Did she just-? How dare she!? How dare she partake of him without his permission!?

Her hands had gone to her neck. Many emotions passed through her eyes. Surprise, disgust and confusion. She must not have even thought about what she was doing, just acted on a whim. She was turning red and green at the same time. She was stuck and unsure of what to do. Panic was setting in unaware that the real thing she had to panic about was staring at her audacity.

When she finally looked at him, she turned pale, hairs standing on end at the look he must be giving her. She should be afraid. He was angry. Never had a demon in Hell managed to even get a hold of him without his say so. To partake of him so thoughtlessly as if it was natural and she was welcome to it. She deserved no such thing. It was a violation of the trust he’d given her. Where was the respect!?

“My my doll. I didn’t think you’d be interested in eating a piece of me. How is it? Satisfied your curiosity?” His voice was crackling in static and deeper as he growled out his displeasure. Abruptly, he stood from his chair, body turning to face her as well. She fell to the ground as her knees gave out. Shadows grew around the room, boxing her in, their dark claws leaving her no way out. As he loomed over her, much taller than he had already been, red started to fill the room, his demonic energy intended to suffocate her.

Her wide eyes were watering, fat tears threatening to spill. Her breaths were slower and deeper, a concentrated effort to calm down that she was desperately failing at. She was starting to shake. It was hilarious.

“Come on now dear. Don’t leave me hanging. I want to hear what you think.” A clawed hand covered her mouth roughly. His claws put enough pressure to prick her cheeks. “Don’t you dare spit it out.” He growled.

Her cheeks puffed with the effort to keep the piece in her mouth. So she didn’t want to eat it. She just stupidly put it in her mouth. He might have to reevaluate his impression of her. She was definitely dumber than he thought.

Beneath his palm, he could feel her starting to swallow then hesitantly chew. Tears were now streaming down her face. “Don’t cry, darling. You wanted to try it so go ahead.” A claw from his free hand mockingly wiped the tears from her face, leaving thin bleeding scratches in their wake. She closed her eyes to avoid injury and also avoid looking into his terrifying gaze. It was a way for her to concentrate and think through what was happening. To him, it looked like she was savoring the taste of him in her mouth.

He imagined it then, her teeth chewing, tearing through his flesh, savoring the bite and then swallowing. A shiver racked his body at the ghostly sensation the thought produced. It was foreign and uncomfortable. Was it unpleasant? Not entirely. It made him watch her with rapt attention.

Every motion of her jaw, every breath, every swallow. More and more of those shivers passed through him. From the top of his head and all through his chest, it felt like he was vibrating. Was it that his flesh still held the ability to feel what was happening to it? No. He hadn’t felt anything when he was eating it himself earlier. It had to be her.

For a tense half a minute, both of them were going through extremely uncomfortable feelings. Ynna wanted to throw up but kept on chewing until the velvet was easier to swallow. He watched her, his mind providing feelings to accompany the visual. There was disgust and resignation and even determination as she worked through that littlest bit but he was almost overwhelmed by the feelings running through his body.

When she finished with the task, he let her go. The anger in him had subsided, too distracted by the foreign sensations he was experiencing at the moment. “Done?”

“Y-y-yes.”

“Splendid. Now GET OUT.” He threw her out the door, unable to stand seeing her flushed crying face.

Author’s Note: Hope this doesn’t awaken something in him

#ao3 link #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor x reader #alastor x you #accidental cannibalism #oops #puns #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #deer demon is mad

28 notes · View notes