#decisions and also choices and also tasks are difficult

[violetrainbow412-blog]

From hate to love… or something like that

Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader

word count: 15.7k (sorrrryyyy)

warnings: arranged marriage, hate-to-love, mentions of rape, mentions of incest, mentions of suicidal thoughts, drinking alcohol, mommy issues, daddy issues, mentions of sex without love, unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), porn with plot (but something cheap, tbh) and I probably forgot something but I think that makes it clear that this shit is not for minors, so MINORS DNI :)

A/N: I started this since the second season premiere started so if you find any canon-like scenes I completely promise it wasn't intentional. I also want to make it clear that you are responsible for what you read and if you don't like something please just let it go, that would be very kind of you!

And this doesn't make me team green at all, I'm a defender of the rightful queen to the death… it's just that her brother is too sexy to ignore 🫦

Enjoy!

taglist (who I thought might be interested): @barcelonaloverf1life @ilovequeen978

FIRST ACT: HATE

Finding a wife for Prince Aegon II was probably one of the most difficult tasks Alicent Hightower had to face.

The engagement with his sister Helaena had been broken after a more tempting offer for the princess, which would get them a permanent alliance with the Lannister house that they couldn’t refuse. Viserys himself had agreed to accept and the queen consort had no choice but to give her little daughter in marriage to a blonde lord. The problem was that her son was left without a fiancée.

Aemond didn't worry her, after all he was growing up quite quickly and she knew that he was more inclined to become a warrior than to fulfill his marital responsibilities. But Aegon, however, was a lost cause.

It was no secret that Alicent had always felt disappointed in her eldest son. He was careless, lazy, and a hopeless alcoholic, qualities that couldn’t be celebrated at all. Now that her beloved father had returned, the queen didn’t hesitate to consult him on the matter, hoping that the man had a solution for the problem that afflicted her, and together they analyzed what was the best option to unite the king's first-born son. Especially after, years ago, Rhaenyra and Daemon got married and moved to Dragonstone indefinitely.

“It must be someone we completely trust, someone who cannot dare to hurt us because they know that their blood is linked to ours.”

The Arryns were loyal to the future queen Rhaenyra and some of the houses south of Vale were too. The Westerlands was the richest section of the Seven Kingdoms and was already secured, so it seemed prudent to the king's hand to go for the next widest section: The Reach. The most formidable options within this area were the Hightower and the Tyrell. Obviously taking the first option would be a waste since the members of that house would support Aegon without complaint due to their kinship, so the decision was made with the direct heir of Highgarden.

King Viserys agreed to the idea without putting up many obstacles, since poppy milk clouded his judgment most of the time and also the affairs of his first son had never interested him much.

The union was sealed as soon as the deal was offered to Lyonel Tyrell, who was extremely happy to be able to assure his family a future with said marriage. It was thus that he gave you, his only daughter, to Prince Aegon II Targaryen.

And the second the boy saw you, he absolutely hated you.

He had come to the idea (very unpleasant, by the way) of marrying his younger sister and now that his mother was forcing him to marry a complete stranger, he couldn't be angrier. In a short time he would turn twenty and it seemed pathetic to him that at that point he would have to offer shows like those before the kingdom. Because the wedding wasn’t simple, of course, but thousands and thousands of guests were present at the banquet that Alicent forced the king to prepare, claiming by saying that he had done the same for Princess Rhaenyra's wedding.

“It is a pleasure to finally see each other, your grace. They have told me a lot about you”

You had said those precise words the first time you had met, when his mother organized a walk so that you could 'get to know each other better', although supervised by her own eyes that were behind you, making sure that her son didn’t commit any indecency. But no matter how sweetly you smiled and spoke them, Aegon could sense that you were lying.

There was hatred in your eyes and a clear resentment towards the life from which you were torn, as if it weren’t an honor to have the opportunity to marry the prince of the seven kingdoms. Your hypocritical words represented an insult to the boy and that is why he decided from the first moment that he would hate you deeply.

With your mere existence you would have deprived him of his freedom, his entertainment, his youth. He would be tied to you for future occasions, he would have to take you to all the events, secure your food, your clothes. share the same roof and pretend to be nice to you in the eyes of others. And, besides, he could have thought of a lot of candidates better than you, physically speaking. Your beauty was quite ordinary for his taste, as if he were looking at any painting; cheap and repetitive.

“I regret to admit that I am not so fortunate, Lady Tyrell. But I am happy for the union of our houses” he lied, in the same way that you had done.

And it was obvious that this didn’t go unnoticed by you, that you had the same critical eye as your recent fiancé but that you sought to maintain composure in the presence of your future mother-in-law.

On the wedding day Aegon had a good time only because he was able to drown himself in monumental quantities of liquor and because he was able to eat as much as he wanted of the exquisite banquet. He didn't even pay a bit of attention to how you looked in the wedding dress that the royal seamstresses had been in charge of making in record time, because when the time came he flattered you superficially and then ignored the matter. The ceremony kiss was the first you shared, and it was so fleeting and awkward that the prince felt disappointed. On the wedding night he was so drunk that he didn't even look at you.

You knew that the unfortunate day would come when you would have to carnally please the young man and the simple thought of being defiled in this way caused you terror and nausea in equal parts.

It was a stranger whom you had married, of whom the only thing you knew was his noble title and name.

In the days following your marriage, unfortunately or fortunately, Aegon didn’t even speak to you. You didn't have to share a room, so it was easier for him to completely ignore you while he went about his ways.

You had to admit that the only good thing about having taken this trip was the beautiful landscapes that King's Landing offered you. Your room had a direct view of Blackwater Bay and you spent several days looking out the window at the beautiful sea. Sometimes you could watch Prince Aemond ride his dragon, and honestly, the size of the beast scared you a little. You hadn't had the chance to observe Aegon in Sunfyre yet but if he was as impressive as Vhagar, then he would be quite a sight.

A week passed, then another and another where you were nothing more than a guest in the palace. You didn't talk to anyone, you ate dinner alone, you barely saw the outside of the castle. Sometimes you went to the Sept, pretending to pray, but really just killing the endless boring hours of the day. You were somewhat lucky if you found Helaena, the most sensible and calm within the royal family, because you had pleasant conversations with her. When you met the queen it was a little more difficult, because she asked you endless questions in which you had to fake the answers. How could you be fulfilling your parenting responsibilities if the capricious prince wouldn't deign to lay a finger on you?

After a month, Alicent seemed to take matters into her own hands and forced her eldest son to take you to sleep in the same room as him. However, Aegon seemed to want to blame you for something you hadn't chosen. He never spoke to you and every time you went to bed, he would stand with his back to you as far away as possible. And as if that weren’t enough, he had explicitly ordered his guards not to allow you to leave the room unless it was in his company. It was his way of punishing you, of getting even for the complaints of his mother and grandfather regarding his lack of interest in marriage.

“My mother wants us to attend a dinner tonight” you were so unaccustomed to hearing his voice addressing you that it took you a second to process what he was telling you “I will talk to the maids to bring you a suitable dress.”

You didn't know what to say. You didn't want to go to that dinner, nor did you want to be with him, or wear one of those tight, annoying dresses. Aegon, noticing your silence, deigned to look at you and in your eyes he could see the aversion you felt for him. It was something difficult to mask and he had seen it on so many faces that it was nothing new.

“As you wish, prince.”

A bitter laugh came from your husband's throat.

“Don't be a hypocrite, for God's sake. I know you hate me as much as I hate you. Save appearances for guests, not in the chambers."

You wouldn’t have had the courage to admit out loud what his majesty had said, but you didn’t dare to contradict him either. You had to play the role of a self-sacrificing and suitable wife for the man if you wanted to keep your honor, but above all your head.

You tried, with all your might, to see some quality in Aegon that you liked so that you could treat him in a better way, which always resulted in something useless. Perhaps if he had been nicer to you, you could have known how to forgive his faults, but even that wasn’t granted to you.

The dinner was mostly family-oriented, with the guest of honor being from House Baratheon whose purpose was to discuss some political matters with the king and queen. Due to his health, Viserys didn’t usually leave his room more than necessary, however, that night the occasion warranted it.

“Lady Tyrell, how is your stay in King's Landing?”

The king had a reputation for being gentle with his guests and was the first person to ask you a personal question, so the smile you showed him was genuine.

“Very pleasant, your grace. The servants treat me as well as possible and I must admit that the views from my room are beautiful. Your dragon is impressive, Prince Aemond, by the way.”

The boy, who wasn't all that expressive, just looked at you for a moment and tilted his head down slightly.

“I'm glad you like it, princess.”

"And my son? How is our Aegon treating you?”

That question was more complicated to answer, since it required expressing a lie. Everyone present focused their attention on you, except your husband who had been staring into nothingness for a long time.

“Very well, my king. He’s a good husband and I am happy to have been able to unite our houses.”

The aforementioned snorted, incredulous at what you were saying at the table, and took a long drink from his glass of wine.

“And I hope very soon you can give us strong and beautiful heirs.”

Although that was intended as a compliment, you felt the weight of that responsibility pressing down on you again.

“I wish the same. It will be an honor to serve the crown and bear the progeny of a house as formidable as yours."

The queen was pleased with your answer and for a moment felt sorry for you. She knew her son well, so deep down she knew that it wasn’t a gift from the gods to be married to him. The rest of the table looked at you curiously, wondering if you were serious, trying to be ironic, or just trying to play the good girl role.

Aegon, as expected, became intoxicated during dinner and when Queen Alicent announced that she was going to retire to sleep you thought it prudent to do the same. Your husband, however, had other wishes.

“Stay here,” he asked, his voice serious.

When he was drunk he looked you up and down, probably evaluating how worth it would be to decide to strip you naked and fuck you once and for all. Your body in the dress you were wearing looked better with a few drinks on him.

“I think it would be best to retire, my husband. This way you can stay with the men to chat and… drink”

“But I want you to stay here to keep me company,” he insisted, holding your wrist tightly “Or don't you want to please your prince?”

It wasn’t a loving request, but one for control. He wanted to have you there only to demonstrate his power over you, without paying attention to you or talking; only as an ornament.

“Aegon, enough,” Alicent interrupted, observing the scene that had begun to unfold. “Daughter, let's go to sleep. “I will accompany you”

“Fine, do whatever you want,” he spat contemptuously, abruptly releasing the wrist that was holding you. There was hatred in his eyes, but also pride.

The queen said goodbye to everyone present and then offered you her hand to take you away from there. You spent most of the way in silence, walking through the long, wide corridors of the fortress followed only by the faithful footsteps of Ser Criston Cole.

“You must be patient with him” he began to say “He is a particular man and sometimes… difficult, but I know that with your docile character you will be able to deal with his temperament.”

What did she know about your character? She didn't know you at all.

“So it shall be, Queen Alicent.”

“I understand what you are going through, dear. We both come from the same lands to endure the difficult task of accompanying a monarch. But it is our duty to carry it out with all the honor and temper worthy of our homes. Of course, I can trust that as a woman you will be able to help him fulfill another of the most important marital commitments, such as having children, to maintain the lineage and blood. For a virgin like you, Aegon may be rough, but... patience and resilience are among the best virtues. A woman in royalty must endure these things to give the best to the people.”

You had never wanted to be a princess. And just when you thought the queen was showing you compassion, you realized that she was only looking out for her interests and those of her family.

"Thanks for the advice. I'll keep it in mind"

She smiled and immediately left a kiss on your forehead, which could have been taken as a maternal kiss but which you didn't like at all. The longer you can postpone suffering, the better. If Aegon didn't even want to look at you, it was perfect.

That night, as soon as you touched the mattress and the silk sheets that decorated it, you began to cry until you fell asleep.

SECOND ACT: CONTROL

Time passed again and although the punishment of not leaving your room was not revoked, you found multiple activities with which to entertain yourself in the prince's absence. You filled your mornings and afternoons with reading, writing, knitting and embroidering. The nights were even more boring because most of the time your husband wasn't there either.

Rumors that you hadn’t yet consummated the marriage had spread through the halls of the palace and soon the smallfolk would murmur too. After all, the people couldn’t entertain themselves with anything more than the gossip and the plays that were going on in the poor neighborhoods, making fun of royal affairs.

You no longer even had the energy to deny those accusations and Aegon had given you the perfect opportunity by throwing you out of his room and refusing to leave the four walls of yours: if you didn't leave there, there was no way anyone would question you. And since you didn't have family inside the Keep, you didn't have any visitors either.

One night, however, your husband surprised you by entering your room. It had been days since you two had seen each other and his staggering around the room warned you that he was drunk again. You often wondered how he resisted drinking so much and the long-term effects it would have on his health, but right now your mind could only focus on the fear of what he might want in that state.

“Good night, dear,” he drawled, sounding as sarcastic as possible.

You were in your nightgown and you were carrying in your hand an old book that you had been reading and that you threw on the nightstand as soon as you saw him approaching you. You didn't have time to say or do anything else when he had already approached you in giant steps to grab you by the back of your neck and start kissing you. He was abrupt, careless, with his mouth smelling of wine and tasting even worse. You wanted to cry from helplessness.

“It's what everyone wants, isn't it?” he murmured, separating himself from you, but still holding you by the hair at the back of your neck. “A marriage arranged in a couple of days to form alliances. And that's it, my life was ruined thanks to my father wanting your stupid castle to expand his domain."

The truth is that couldn't be further from the truth. Viserys’s ambition had never been that, as he had been so little involved in the process that he simply didn’t care who his children were or were not married to. Except for Rhaenyra, of course.

Aegon continued:

"I didn’t want this. I didn't want to marry you, or anyone..."

“And you think I do?” you confronted him.

You were tired of the insult, the humiliation and him ignoring you as if you were worthless; even if that was what a husband did. And the most likely thing was that your words would be forgotten due to alcohol or that they would put an end to the wait for your suffering to begin and Aegon decided to take you once and for all.

“You have nothing to lose, prince,” you continued. “You get drunk as much as you want, you run away from your responsibilities and walk everywhere when I have to stay locked up here all day just because you want me to. I have to endure the suspicious looks of everyone because I still don't have an heir in the womb while you go and fuck your whores."

“I'm the prince and I fuck whoever I want, did you hear me?” he hissed. The grip on your hair had already begun to become painful and a few tears slipped down your cheeks “And I stop fucking whoever I want too. I'm not going to please anyone by getting you pregnant. There they will see if they come and force me to put my cock in you”

“Do you doubt that, your grace?” you exclaimed bitterly “Doubts that will force us to conceive?”

“So that's what you want? Do you want me to do it?”

“I want to go home. That is what I want. But my father used me as a bargaining chip and that's why I can't do anything."

“I'm sorry it was like that. If I had chosen my wife, I would surely have chosen someone prettier and more educated than you, but I can't do much either."

Once again, the man pushed you until your lips joined his and the same discomfort settled in you. He didn't kiss you with love, but with fury and violence to the point that you had to push him away when he bit you so hard that a trickle of blood began to come out of your lower lip. Aegon was also stained by it and with an acidic smile he ran the tip of his tongue all over his mouth to remove any traces.

Looking at you he didn't look happy, but he didn't look angry either. He just seemed fed up.

Everyone knew, or suspected, that the prince was very capable of taking sexual advantage of any woman. He had done it before with maids and prostitutes and had slept peacefully throughout that time. However, there was something about you that encouraged him not to. He didn't even think it was something about you specifically but about the situation, because he wanted to do the opposite of what he was ordered: if everyone ordered him to take you to have an heir, it automatically became an unpleasant act and at the same time that he refused.

He was hurt, not because of you but because of years and years of abuse and neglect. He didn't really know you at all, he only knew what you represented.

You were just the unlucky one who had married him.

"I hate you. I hate that you are my wife and you are not worthy of me even touching you” he snapped with disdain. You were still fighting to keep the tears inside your eyes and his vision had also blurred slightly “I wish I had never met you.”

“The feeling is mutual, your grace,” you expressed, your voice breaking. If it was an offense to the crown, you wouldn't even care anymore and if he killed you right there you wouldn't regret it too much either.

Aegon looked at you one last time before staggering back out the door without another word, closing it behind him with a loud gesture and leaving you alone in the room. The reality that you had escaped, once again, from being raped by the man fell on you like a bucket of cold water and your knees weakened until you fell to the floor.

You were hurt, tired, and defeated by the stress of the situation and the fear that had washed over you the entire time. Luckily he was gone, otherwise you didn't know if you would have endured what he had to do to you. It was better to have him busy in a brothel than to have to endure him in your bed.

You wished you could talk to someone and cry on a loved one’s shoulder, only to realize a second later that that was impossible. Aegon was your new family, now you belonged to the Targaryens and you would have to do as they wished.

Anger completely overwhelmed you to the point where you stood up from your seat and began throwing pieces of glassware all over the room, in a violent outburst at what had just happened and the way you felt. None of the guards outside your door dared to come in to check on you and soon enough you fell back to the ground, exhausted from the effort.

As you cried, perhaps for the umpteenth time since you had been married, you thought about how you would never be able to love Prince Aegon. Not even if you tried.

THIRD ACT: PAIN

After months, the inevitable arrived. The truth was that the first time you felt sorrow and anger, but the following times it became more tolerable. Not because it was better, but because you began to get used to it. Aegon didn't change his attitude towards you one bit. You indeed spent more time together, although that didn’t mean that you got along better or that you had begun to have more sympathy for each other.

The only advantage was that you had started to be friends with some people in the palace. Your sister-in-law, to begin with, as well as some of the maids who were in charge of looking after you, as they turned out to be your only company during those days. Those distractions were more than enough for you, considering the situation you were in, and they kept you sane as time went by.

Almost like a punishment from heaven, it seemed that you weren’t pregnant yet, since your biological processes seemed to continue working to the letter. That meant that, unfortunately, you would have to keep trying; when Aegon was lost enough to forget who you were and you had to stand still as a statue to let him loom over you.

You often liked to imagine what your life would have been like if you had stayed in Highgarden. Nobody knew it yet, but there you had found your first love and although it never went beyond a few kisses, you treasured the memory with particular affection. You had always wanted to marry a sweet man who loved and respected you, who would give you your place as a wife and adore you day and night; someone with whom you could feel protected, cared for, but above all happy. You thought, naively, that that boy you had met and who was nothing more than a commoner could have given you that life, but all those possibilities were nothing more than fantasies in which you tried to lock yourself in to feel less miserable with your unpleasant reality.

One night Helaena had invited you to a modest dinner in her company that you couldn't refuse, since none of your husbands were present and some time with friends could clear your mind. You didn't even know where the prince was, although it was expected that he was spending some time in the town with his friends.

“Sometimes I feel sad about our situation,” said the blonde. You were in the privacy of her chambers, not even with the maids present, so confessions like that were allowed “But I am happy that you are my friend, something that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.”

“I'm glad to talk to you too,” you smiled sincerely. “You're the best thing I've found around here.”

“My brothers aren't that bad, they're just… well, we've had a hard life. And that's why they behave like that."

“I think there is no justification for being a…” idiot, you wanted to say, but you had to remember that you were in the presence of the princess, “a person who is rude to others. But I guess that happens with royalty, right? They do what they want without consequences”

"I guess so. Kings, princes, the heirs, lords, dukes…”

“Okay, I get it,” you laughed bitterly “It's probably a masculine quality.”

You never thought your sister-in-law would have that kind of humor and to be honest, most of the time she was a comic relief for the situations you two were going through. Sometimes her prophecies scared you, especially the way she phrased them, but you wanted to think that her premonitions would never affect you directly.

When you finally got tired of chatting and the food was finished, you decided to return to your room, so you could have a peaceful night's rest. It was raining outside and thunder echoed in the distance, making the atmosphere slightly gloomy, but at the same time cooling every corner of King's landing.

The novelty of your position was no longer important enough to require you to be escorted by guards twenty-four hours a day, so you were able to slowly walk through all the corridors that led to your sanctuary. It was modest but cute, although not on the level of Aegon’s.

A man was guarding the door and you bowed your head to him to let you pass, which he did without any opposition. Once inside you got rid of your shoes and unbuttoned your corset, not caring that the room was almost in darkness; only the moonlight illuminated from the window. You took a few steps forward and squealed when you discovered that there was another person in the room, sitting at the small table with a drink in his hand. You would have started screaming for help if you hadn't noticed that said intruder had silver hair falling like a curtain over his face.

"Your grace?" you asked cautiously.

It isn’t usual for Aegon to drink in your room, as he preferred other places with more interesting company, and when you didn’t receive an answer you approached slowly. You thought that at best he had simply fallen asleep and at worst he would be dead.

At first his long, wavy hair covered your view of his face, but when he noticed your presence he raised his head and then you could see him. His features became clearer as lightning illuminated him from the outside and for a second you were horrified.

His cheek was red and a trickle of blood was dripping from his nose, however, what surprised you the most was seeing his eyes completely swollen.

“For the seven, I… I'll go call a maester”

“Don't even think about it,” he exclaimed hoarsely, seeing that you were already rushing towards the door.

Your husband didn't sound like his usual angry tone, but rather he seemed... hurt.

You thought for a second about what the appropriate reaction to the situation was. You couldn't leave the room because, in addition to the guards murmuring, it would be impolite to leave him in that state; also, where would you go? If you ignored him, he would probably take it as an insult and he had already made it clear that he didn't want to see someone who could take care of those injuries.

You hated him, it was true, but you weren't an insensitive monster either.

"Who did this to you?"

Aegon was surprised by how soft, even kind, your question sounded and the intoxication gave him some courage to answer.

“My mother and my grandfather. Mostly my mother, my grandfather rather dedicated his efforts to reminding me how useless I am”

You didn't know what to say. You never believed that the queen would be capable of hitting one of her sons like that. You didn't believe it from any mother, actually.

With some trepidation you took one of the chairs and placed it in front of him, expecting him to immediately push you away or ask you to get out of his sight. However, the prince didn't seem to have enough energy to do any of those things.

He had a lost look on his face and tears began to run down his face.

“Nothing… nothing I do pleases her. Neither to her, nor to my grandfather. All the time they are pressuring me, demanding me, yelling at me. Apparently Otto still hopes that my father will name me king, but I've never wanted that. They blame me for drinking all the time and how do they expect them not to? My father cares so little about me and my mother hates me. All his life he has hated me. She does it, my brothers… and so do you. My own wife hates me. Everyone… everyone who knows me does it”

You were silent for a moment.

There were mixed feelings inside you, because you couldn't forget the mistreatment that the man had given you during those months, nor the way he used you for his pleasure. He was right when he said you hated him. However, there was a compassionate part of you, deep down, that felt sorry for the man's state.

“And sometimes I just want to be dead. I just wish all the shit would go away and drowning in alcohol and dying would take away Alicent's problem and allow her to focus her attention on something better”

His gaze lifted and he looked at you with crystallized eyes.

“Maybe you should poison me one day. So your suffering would also end”

“Your highness, I cannot do that”

“But would you like it? Do you hate me enough to wish me dead?”

“Of course not,” you said quickly.

"Liar. You lie like everyone else. You want me dead”

You knew that saying something negative at that moment, in the state he was in, could result in him making some incoherence that you would be blamed for the next morning. So it was best to act cautiously.

“I don't think anyone wants that”

“My mother does. My father, Rhaenyra does it, and so does her stupid new husband…”

“Your grace…” you interrupted him harshly. Listening to him sink into his self-indulgence was too much to bear “You better go to sleep, don't you think? Now you're not thinking clearly, you'll feel better in the morning."

But Aegon seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, oblivious to anything you had to say to him.

“I guess I just wish someone wouldn't completely detest my existence, you know?”

Aegon had done terrible things to you, of course, but seeing him at that moment made you wonder if all of this was the product of poor parenting and psychological abuse that had been perpetuated for twenty long years. You couldn't say your father loved you, not after what he had done, but at least he hadn't constantly hurt you as the man in front of you had. You knew better than anyone that hate had to be healed with empathy and for a brief moment you felt soft for him.

Once Aegon was a small child, without sins, without accumulated hatred, without evil... and apparently that frightened child hadn’t been completely buried, because it was him who cried inconsolably and saw death as a viable alternative to end that suffering. However, there is no redemption without guilt, right? You don't get to heaven without first repenting.

You stayed silent for a long time, listening to him sob, and when you gathered the courage you spoke:

“Prince, can I be honest with you?”

You had spoken in a low and benevolent voice, while you slid from your chair until you were kneeling in front of him. The boy didn't even want to take advantage of that position for a sexual act, he was simply too tired and drained to think. You placed your hands on his knees and seeing that he nodded, you continued:

“You say you wish someone wouldn't hate you, but have you ever made an effort to do so? Or have you even wondered why people feel that way about you?”

“It's something natural for them”

“I didn't feel it,” you said, honestly. You hated the idea of getting married out of obligation, but if he had been different from the beginning maybe your feelings for him would be too “And you made me feel it. With your contempt, your humiliations, your punishments…”

“If everyone thinks you're a monster, what's the point of contradicting them?”

“And then you prefer to agree with them?”

You were probably taking too many liberties with the prince, but you would never have a chance to talk to him like that again. He was vulnerable and therefore less defensive than normal.

“Every person is responsible for their actions,” you continued. “You can't change how the queen or king feels about you, but you can choose to offer something better to others. If it’s your desire that people not hate you, that won’t happen overnight just because you tell it to. It takes time, effort and above all it requires kindness. If you live regretting the concept that people have of you, without doing anything to change it, then you will live a lifetime of dissatisfaction. If you seriously want someone to feel happy about your existence then pursue that goal, don’t expect it to be granted to you as a divine work.”

A deeper cry began to well up from the man and you almost thought he would lean down for your hug. Still, he didn't.

“I don't know how to be someone else. I have always been this”

“Not always, that's for sure. Water that stagnates rots and becomes a swamp. The one that runs, on the other hand, becomes a river and flows into the ocean.”

You raised the handkerchief you always carried and, in an act of kindness that was also intended to be an offering of peace, you gently wiped the tears and dried blood from his face. Aegon squirmed as he had never experienced that kind of care.

“You just have to ask yourself: what do you choose to be?”

For an endless moment he watched you. His judgment was clouded by drunkenness, but he wondered if he wasn't hallucinating and you were simply the voice of his conscience telling him something he had never wanted to accept.

It was easier to blame others for his mistakes, to justify himself by saying that everything about him was his mother's fault and that if he behaved the way he did it was only a defense mechanism. Aegon had never thought about how his treatment of women was a direct consequence of Alicent's upbringing: if his own mother had hurt him, why wouldn't other women do the same to him? And since he was convinced that they were all going to do it, he preferred to turn them into objects that he could use for his benefit.

He was so drunk and so exhausted from all the crying he had shed that he simply pushed your hand away from his face and stood up from the chair, without saying a word. You, now standing, saw him begin to undress and the first thing you thought was that he would seek to heal his sorrows by having sex with you. However, he only got rid of the essentials and then lay on his stomach on the bed. Without any choice, you took off your clothes for the day, put on a nightgown and also lay down on the mattress to sleep.

You were sure that the next day Aegon wouldn’t remember anything and you weighed the possibility of the whole story repeating itself, in an endless and painful loop for the two of you. And if you were right, it would be a shame if you had to live like this for the rest of your days.

FOURTH ACT: REDEMPTION

“Do you know where Meryna is?” you asked one of the maids who had come in to change your bedding.

“No, your grace”

“I'm starting to get hungry and she still hasn't brought my breakfast,” you exclaimed sadly.

You had woken up a while ago and had gotten dressed to go for a walk after eating, to see if this would cheer you up a little. It had been a few days since Aegon had opened up in the privacy of your room and after that you had barely seen him, much less spoken to him. You believed that everything was due to a matter of pride or even shame for what you had witnessed and you simply didn’t give it importance, because you knew that eventually he would approach you again. You just had to wait for him to want to do it.

Almost as if by summons, the black-haired girl appeared through the door, looking agitated and embarrassed by the delay. Furthermore, she came empty-handed.

"Princess…"

“Didn't you bring breakfast?” you asked, still sounding cordial but slightly surprised.

“I'm very sorry, it's just that Prince Aegon asked me to bring the food to the royal dining room. He is waiting for you there, he told me to come and get you.”

He hadn’t mentioned requiring your presence for any breakfast and, according to you, there were no guests in the palace to accompany. The two women noticed your dismay and Meryna stood waiting for a response.

“Did he tell you why?”

“No, your grace”

"Good. Then tell him I'll be there in a moment."

You only took a few minutes to change your dress, one more suitable for being in the presence of the prince and in case there was a guest you didn't know about. There were no guards at your door so you were able to walk to the dining room by yourself and were surprised to see that only your husband was at the table. He had an expression that you interpreted as a mix of impatience and nerves.

“Oh, you finally arrived. Sit down. You, bring the princess something to drink,” he ordered a maid. He used to call you that in the presence of guests, but it was rare for him to have that courtesy when alone.

“Are we waiting for someone?”

"No. I just thought you might want to have breakfast together.”

You were already sitting next to him, and for a second you watched him with a frown. Had he hit his head somewhere or why was he acting so strange?

“Do you prefer juice or wine, your highness?

"Juice"

“And bring her some strawberries,” Aegon exclaimed.

There was something about the situation that scared you, because you imagined that he wouldn't be treating you so kindly without wanting something in return. But you were already his wife and he did whatever he wanted with you, what more could he want from you?

You looked him up and down, as if searching for some sign, but he looked completely normal. He was wearing one of those full black robes he was used to, with a golden chain with emeralds decorating the hem of his neck and a belt accentuating his figure. The dark circles in his eyes were pronounced, as always, but the look was not that of someone angry; you would even say that he looked somewhat passive, even sleepy.

While you were thinking about all that, you remembered the last conversation you had had with him. You feared that madness had finally exploded in your husband and the food you were about to eat was poisoned, as he had suggested at the time. Perhaps out of courtesy he was waiting for you to take the first bite and, trying to control the trembling in your hands, you took a portion of the cold cuts on your plate to put it in your mouth. Luckily the food didn't taste different and after seeing that the man ate it with the utmost calmness, you assumed that it didn't contain any poison either.

There was freshly baked bread, jam, some cheeses, the aforementioned cold cuts, a variety of fruits, scrambled eggs with fresh herbs and chives, as well as some stuffed buns for dessert. It was a mini banquet and as you ate it you couldn't help but wonder why this show of kindness was due.

Aegon didn't seem to have any intention of talking and you didn't try to force him, not wanting to either. The atmosphere was one of peace and tranquility, one you had not experienced since your wedding day until now, and it was a very different but strangely pleasant feeling.

It was just a couple sharing breakfast time, but for two people who come from such a broken home it felt like a totally new experience.

You continued in silence until most of the things served were finished, leaving only what wasn’t to your palate's liking or that your body was simply no longer able to ingest.

“Do you need anything else, your majesty?”

“Clear this table, we won't eat anymore,” he said to the maid, nonchalantly pointing to the leftovers you had left. Then he looked at you “Satisfied?”

"I am. Everything was delicious”

“I want us to do the same tomorrow. I will send a maid for you, so get ready soon,” he said decisively.

Then he got up from his chair, stretched a little, and left the room without saying anything else to you.

You didn't see your husband the rest of the day, but the next morning he kept his promise without fail. Although the breakfast menu was different the routine was the same and again it made you wonder what the reason for it was.

The next day he also requested your presence for breakfast and you concluded that he intended to make it a habit. For the rest of the morning you were supposed to dedicate yourself to your activities, but after a week of following that routine Aegon informed you that he had other plans for you.

“I want you to come with me for a walk.”

"To the exterior?"

"Yeah. I have training with Ser Criston but I don't wish to attend, so you will be my excuse. I'll tell him that the princess wanted to go for a walk and that I couldn't let her go alone."

He was telling you that lie almost like a childish prank and you would swear he was about to smile.

“Huh, okay. If you want it, we will”

You were still confused by his actions, because in all the time you had been there it was the first time he treated you decently. You didn't know if he was still drinking in large quantities, but at least when he went to sleep he no longer reeked of liquor in the same way. And all that week he hadn't forced you to have sex with him.

What had motivated the prince to change his way of behaving towards you?

"Do you want to go to the beach? I will order a couple of horses to be saddled for us” he exclaimed when you had already left the dining room.

You couldn't refuse to go to the bay, because in your entire life you had never seen the ocean and your curiosity was greater than any other feeling. Besides, you loved horses, and being with them might even make you feel better.

Aegon did as he told you and soon enough you were in the stable. He had ordered a beautiful white mare for you, with a silver mane the color of your husband's hair and a formidable build.

You approached to pet the animal, carefully, and tensed completely when you felt another body behind yours. Until that moment you hadn't realized how warm your husband was.

“She's pretty, right?”

His voice sounded at your ear level, as he had also reached out to touch Frostfire’s hair.

"She is"

“I guess you know how to ride,” he muttered under his breath and you let out an offended sigh.

“Of course I do. Highgarden is the heart of the chivalry of the seven kingdoms”

After saying that you turned your head just a little and met his gaze, indigo eyes with hints of lilac looking at you carefully. You could feel his breath against yours and at that closeness your cheeks had already turned red involuntarily.

He separated from you and then went to choose his horse, a black thoroughbred with beautiful braids, to get on it and ask the guards to open the door for you. You almost managed to sneak away, but Ser Criston stopped the two of you just before you could do so, claiming that he had a scheduled practice with the prince.

“I'm taking my wife to Blackwater, she hasn't had a chance to visit since her arrival.”

“But your grace, your father…”

“We will continue with training later, Ser Criston,” he said firmly.

“Will you go to Blackwater without an escort?”

“I will”

"That's impossible"

“Don't worry, I don't want to be accompanied. Just rest for now.”

“But you are the prince.”

"Exactly. I am the prince and I want my orders to be respected."

The boy was a smug son of a bitch when he put his mind to it, just like now. The man had no choice but to obey the words and then the two of you were able to leave. You could get there on foot, but Aegon had felt like riding and had wanted an alternative to quickly escape if something went wrong.

You walked along a path that still belonged to the Red Keep grounds, so there was no great danger of being attacked along the way, and you soon reached the bay. It was even more beautiful up close and as soon as you got off the mare you forgot any courtesy towards your husband, as you rushed towards the shore to watch the waves crash. Your pumps and dress were soaked when the water reached your calves, but it didn't bother you too much because you were happy for the reason.

“Have you never been to the ocean?”

“I'm afraid not, your grace. There was never any business that required me to be on the coast of The Reach and I have always lived surrounded by hills and forests. I had seen some rivers, but…”

Before you could continue your story you staggered because of a wave and to avoid falling you tried to hold on to whatever was within reach, which turned out to be the man next to you. He supported you from the elbows with his strong arms.

“Oh, I'm so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he laughed. For the first time in your presence, he had laughed “But we should get away from the shore. I wouldn't want to take you back to the castle all soaked”

You heeded the boy's advice and, still leaning on him, walked towards the sand. The sky was slightly cloudy, so the weather was perfect for walking around without any discomfort.

“I've never visited Highgarden, is it as impressive as rumored?” he asked, as he began to walk in the opposite direction of the Red Keep.

Although you never believed that the prince would be interested in such things, you began to talk to him about your hometown with particular emotion. You told him about his surroundings, about the castle and you also told in greater detail the gardens that once belonged to you and were full of golden roses, as was the emblem of your house.

You were surprised by how attentive the boy was to everything you had to say to him and for the first time since your arrival, you didn't feel like a stranger in your own skin. Talking about your home was like remembering a part of yourself, as if you were showing him your insides through stories of the beautiful hills where you had ridden so many times.

“Everything sounds wonderful,” he concluded. The sea breeze had already ruffled both of your hair and he took advantage of this to brush a strand out of your face “Someday I should go visit it”

“Yes, maybe you would like that” you exclaimed smiling. You had come too far and it was time to walk back, towards where you had left Frostfire and Moonshadow tied up “Your grace, may I ask you a question?”

"Yeah"

You opened your mouth to ask him why he was doing all that and why he had suddenly started showing so much interest in you. You wanted to know the reason for his unexpected kindness and his abstinence from activities that weren’t very pleasant for you. But before you could speak, you took a moment to observe him. His skin looked paler in the light outside and his silver hair waved in the wind, however, what caught your attention the most was the serene expression on his face.

Although you couldn't say that you knew Aegon, the time you had lived together had shown you that his personality was extremely challenging. If you pointed out that he was being nicer to you and questioned him about it, he would most likely revert to his old behavior towards you simply on a whim. So no, you couldn't ask him about anything or you'd ruin the minuscule part of a good relationship you had managed to build.

“I was thinking... Do you think we can one day bring golden roses to the royal gardens? Green and gold are part of your emblem too and that would beautify the place. I could take care of them, if you want.”

“That's a good idea,” he exclaimed happily. You had already turned around to return and you calculated that it must be after noon “I will order them to be brought in as soon as possible, in the hope that the hot weather at King's landing will not ruin them”

“I hope not,” you said, although a little less enthusiastic than before.

You had been lost in thought after the appearance of that question that you did not verbalize and suddenly Aegon feared that he had made some mistake. You walked a few meters in silence, until this state was unbearable for his majesty and he stopped you by holding your shoulders. You were about to ask what had happened when he pulled you against his lips, stealing your breath. It was still a rough kiss, but this time less desperate than before. His hands went down to your waist and held you to his body until there wasn’t even a centimeter of distance left, with your belly touching the heat of his stomach.

“Still no signs that you are pregnant?”

You thought that, perhaps, your answer was in that question and that the only thing the man wanted was to convince you to hurry up the matter of producing an heir.

“I'm sorry to say no. It's very unfortunate."

“We'll have to keep trying,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as if he wanted to downplay the matter “Mother insists on it.”

“Has your mother always been like this to you?”

"What are you talking about?"

“It's just… she seems to have everything under control all the time.”

You couldn't be further from the truth and rather than describing it that way Aegon would have said that she was controlling. She wanted to have things under control, but she couldn't and as an example was the eldest prince himself, whom she had never been able to persuade to behave the way he did.

“Well, she is the queen. I guess that's how she must be” he exclaimed without much encouragement. He was still holding you by the waist and was surprised by how intimate that position was. “But we better get back, they must be wondering where we are”

“Maybe they even think I ran away, taking advantage of the fact that you weren't there to watch me,” you joked.

"Would you do it?"

"Do what?"

“Run away”

You looked at the man, incredulous, because it was stupid to think that if you were planning to run away you would just tell him like that. That was the characteristic of it, that it was surprising and hidden.

“Why would I do, your grace?”

“Maybe because I'm a bad husband,” he said quietly. You weren't understanding the game Aegon was playing and it was driving you crazy.

“I wouldn't dare do it. I have nowhere to go and I know I couldn't even get through the doors without your majesty noticing,” you replied.

The prince didn’t want pragmatic reasons like that, but rather his question was more aimed at whether it was your will to abandon him.

Against all odds a couple of raindrops began to fall and very soon a storm had already brewed over your head. It was useless to run, but you did it anyway and Aegon held your hand to prevent either of you from falling due to a trip. Somewhere along the way you lost one of your pumps and at this you began to laugh and he, infected by your joy, did the same. It amused you greatly to think of the face the queen would make when she saw you enter the castle, with her eldest son soaked from head to toe and your clothing incomplete. But you also laughed from the joy of feeling so alive in that moment. You felt like a girl playing in the rain and despite the coldness of the falling water, you felt a certain warmth traveling from the tips of your fingers to your chest.

Although he was sure that you were an excellent rider, your husband insisted on taking you on his own horse to avoid any accidents and you agreed without complaint. His body sheltered you all the way to the Red Keep and once there, under the roof, he helped you down from the chair with extreme care. You didn't think he was that strong until you felt him grab your waist and place you on the floor effortlessly.

“Ask the maids to prepare a bath for you, or you will catch a cold,” he said, putting on your back a cloak he had found hanging on one of the walls.

There was the hint of a smile on his face and seeing him behave like this towards you made you feel weird. You almost felt like he was trying to be affectionate with you, even though he wasn't quite succeeding.

“You should do the same,” you exclaimed softly.

Motivated by the kind moment you had shared, you reached out to brush away the wet hair that had stuck to his face and he shivered at your touch. It was the first time you touched him that way, out of conviction and with care.

“Your majesty, Lord Hand is looking for you. He says he needs to talk to you urgently."

“My grandfather,” he sighed at you, as if wanting to apologize for the words the guard behind you had just said.

He gave the man Moonshadow's reins and then explained that someone had to go get the horse you had left in the bay, so you assumed your presence there was no longer necessary. You were about to leave when he stopped you, grabbing your arm somewhat roughly and looking at you with a feeling that you couldn't decipher.

“I'll go to your room tonight,” he informed.

You felt a little disappointed by the reality of having to share a bed with him, after so long without having done so, but you were grateful that he was at least warning you.

You nodded your goodbyes and he did the same, forming an unspoken agreement. You thought maybe that was why he had been polite to you, so he could get back under your bed sheets. But there was no point in doing it, he wasn't courting you to win your hand, but you were already his wife and he had made it very clear that he could do with you whatever he wanted.

Still a little confused, you were escorted to your bedroom, where you hoped that a tub with hot water and essences would be enough to appease all those doubts that were growing in you.

FIFTH ACT: LOVE

At some point Aegon would get tired of all this, you were sure. But while that moment arrived, you were thoroughly enjoying all kinds of attention you received from your husband. He kept his promise to bring golden roses for the gardens and although the queen wasn’t very happy, in the end they adorned some of the busiest sections of the place. You took that as an act of good faith, so you thought that maybe the thought of repaying him for some of the decency he was showing you wouldn't kill you.

There wasn’t a single breakfast that you skipped, except when the prince was required for political matters or had to travel. You were too proud to admit that you had begun to genuinely enjoy his company, as you still had some distrust due to how temperamental the man was. It wasn't all sunshine and flowers, as the young man still had some outbursts that made you fear him and reminded you that this was who you were really talking to.

His drinking habits hadn’t changed much, since although he was able to handle it during the first week after that period, it was inevitable that he would go back to his old ways and drink an entire jug of wine in a couple of minutes. With sex it was the same, because he continued to fuck you without signs of care and regularly when he was lost in drink. It amused you to think that perhaps that was the reason why you still didn't carry a child in your womb; that he was too drunk when you tried to be of any use.

However, as your relationship strengthened you could notice slight (you almost swore they were imaginary) changes when having sex. He was no longer as rough towards your body as before and tried to thrust into you a little slower, as if he wanted to lengthen the moment and not just unload into you and sleep like a baby after that. Maybe it was just that the drink made him lethargic, but he had even started seeking your lips in the middle of the act or kissing everything within reach of the skin on your neck. You didn't intend to spend much time analyzing his behavior because for you it already represented a victory that he had stopped hurting you after every time you had sex and, honestly, you didn't want to inquire about it. Once again you thought it was more prudent not to question the prince and simply let him continue behaving that way.

Until one night, things looked different for you.

When you heard your husband open the door, quite late at night, and saw him approach your bed, you knew that the same dynamic of nighttime visits would take place. Aegon, already hard as a rock, would kiss you a few times, undress, order you to undress, and then position on top of you to satisfy himself. Needless to say, under the confidence that being in the dark gave you and your husband's lack of interest, you looked away or concentrated on something else while your martyrdom was carried out. He would finish, lie naked next to you, and then sleep soundly with no memory the next morning of what had happened.

Aegon called your name, just to check that you were awake or otherwise wake you up, and you were surprised to hear that his voice sounded quite normal. He wasn't slurring his words like usual.

"Your grace?" you called back, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could look at him.

He did what was expected and as soon as he was far enough away, he started kissing you. You must have known something was wrong from that first moment, when he grabbed your cheek with his wide hand and offered you the most passionate kiss you had ever had. It is reiterated that Aegon was always somewhat careless in intimacy, but this first contact hadn’t felt as impatient as others, but rather was something more careful and planned.

Only one other man had kissed you like that in your life and although the feeling brewing in your chest must have been pleasant, the truth was that it wasn't. You had endured too much abuse from the white-haired man so your body didn't know how to react otherwise. That's why when he continued kissing you for longer than usual and then laid you down meekly, you couldn't do anything but tense uncomfortably.

You were only in your nightgown so there wasn't much difficulty in sliding the straps to the side, almost exposing your tits. Suddenly Aegon lowered his kisses to your neck, where his stubble scratched your skin. Knowing that he would be busy in that area, you turned your head away to focus your gaze on a tapestry on the wall. However, you got a surprise when you felt the prince move away from you and then a bigger one when he took your face between his fingers, placing his index finger and thumb on each of your cheeks to force you to look at him. At first you thought there was anger in his eyes, but after looking at them for a second more you concluded that the feeling was more like that of someone insulted. And why? you asked yourself. What had you done that had offended the prince?

“Why are you looking away?”

His question had a certain aggressive tone, but, at the same time, he sounded hurt. With that you confirmed that he wasn’t drunk or that, if he was, he had drunk just enough to make him feel slightly dizzy. You couldn't tell the way your eyes looked at him, but Aegon interpreted your expression as one of disdain.

Unbeknownst to you, he had his own whirlwind of feelings inside him, one that was driving him crazy and causing him to look you up and down while still holding you. He’d never been like this on another night, so you were at the mercy of knowing how good or bad that would turn out.

Suddenly he seemed upset, you would even say disgusted, and surprisingly stood up from his position. The cold air hit you where he had been before and you sat on the bed to watch him, completely confused by the way he was behaving.

"What's going on…?"

“You don't want this,” he spoke firmly. It was obvious that you didn't want to and you wondered how he had barely realized it. “Not like that… I… no. Not this way"

His babbling confused you even more and when you saw him walk away with exaggerated steps until he left through the door, you couldn't help but feel totally amazed.

What was the reason for what your husband had just done?

The feeling of being abandoned was more hopeless than having him fuck you would have been, and for a moment you even felt ashamed. Maybe he didn't like you anymore or he would just go and cure his frustration in the bed of a woman you didn't know.

He had watched you very strangely and the whole scene wasn't like him. You even pinched yourself just to check that it wasn't some strange dream, getting a moan of pain in response to your question. You thought that perhaps you were acting impulsively, but barely a minute later you put on a green robe over your nightgown and headed towards the door, still not knowing exactly what you were going to do.

“Where are you going, your grace?” the guard on duty asked, putting his voluptuous body in your way.

“Prince Aegon, do you know where he went?”

“In that direction, your majesty. But I'm afraid I must recommend that you return to your room, it is dangerous to walk around the palace at this time."

“But I wish to see my husband,” you said firmly.

The man let out a sigh and then slid to the side of the hallway, leaving you a clear path. Even so, when you started walking you felt his footsteps following you because he probably wanted to make sure that something didn't happen to you. You walked for a while, but you knew it was useless when all you found were locked doors that you couldn't knock on and that you couldn't open either. If Aegon was in any of those rooms, you wouldn't know it. Defeated, you returned to your room and, as expected, found it empty again.

The next morning there wasn’t a single word about that event, but it was present in your mind throughout the day. You had already lived with him enough to realize that something was bothering him, however, upon noticing that he was less talkative during your usual breakfast, you decided to give him time.

You were about to leave the table when he stopped you, asking you to take your seat again and looking at you seriously.

“I have to travel for a couple of weeks,” he informed you. You were surprised to hear that he almost sounded sad “The king is required on some business and since my father can no longer travel, I will have to do it.”

“I hope the entire journey is favorable and the visit profitable, your grace,” you exclaimed cordially. However, your husband didn’t seem pleased with it.

One of his hands slid to hold yours, with a strength that surprised you. There was urgency in his grip, like he needed to hold on to something.

“Is that all you have to say?”

A couple of wrinkles appeared on your brow, as you clearly weren't understanding what he expected of you. Accompanying him would be reckless and you didn't know if he wanted you to keep him there at King's landing.

During those last months something had changed in the man's face, because those eyes surrounded by purple marks no longer saw you with the same aversion as the first time. And it disheartened Aegon that his attempts to please you were yielding no apparent fruit. He was giving you time, effort, and being kind to you like you had said was necessary, but he still couldn't help but feel that you still considered him a stranger.

He had been patient because he thought that, as time went by, you would begin to seek him out or not shy away from his touch. Aegon cared a lot about the physical, so every time he sneaked into your room he did so with the hope that you would welcome him with open arms and give yourself to him willingly. Countless nights he waited in his own room for you to show up to keep him warm and love him throughout the night. But it never happened and a part of him couldn't blame you either.

However, he was already tired of it. He wanted to make it clear to you that he not only wanted to give, but also receive. But forcing you to do anything would ruin everything; you had to want it.

“Have I said something that offended you, prince?”

“I just thought you would say you were going to miss me”

A laugh echoed in your throat at those words and for a second Aegon felt hurt, like you were mocking you. He was going to let go of your hand and walk away, insulted, but you squeezed his hand harder as a sign that you didn't want him to do that.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh at you. I just didn't think that if I harbored feelings of that kind they would be of interest to your majesty."

“Do you miss me when you don't see me?” he asked now, allowing himself to be vulnerable in front of you “Or are you glad to have me away?”

You didn't know what those direct questions were about, because you didn't expect that a man like him would be plagued by uncertainty about knowing the answers.

“Not at all. I will always be willing to be with you whenever you want.”

“And you want to be with me?” he insisted.

“I think that what I want is not important”

“But I'm trying to make it so. I thought I was making it clear enough,”

He was angry, but not for the reasons you might think. It frustrated him that he was trying hard to improve and that your eyes continued to see him like that first time. Too many people were already observing him like that and he thought that, perhaps, since you were the most recent to do it, you could also be the first in whom he could manage to modify it.

You, however, were still too confused by his signs. Sometimes his attitude didn’t coincide with the intentions he had, since antipathy was often the only emotion with which he allowed himself to express and feel, accustomed to what he received during all his years of life.

All those months of effort were a direct product of the talk you had had with him, of that moment of weakness in which, instead of ignoring him like everyone else did, you had stayed with him. Aegon was aware that the treatment towards you was sometimes inhumane and he couldn’t explain how despite this you had wiped away his tears with such care, expressing nothing more than an act of integrity. Sometimes he even just imposed things on you to see if he could push you to the limit and he was surprised to see that you endured everything with honor and decency. You were good, something he could never be.

He didn't want to hear anything more and then let go of your hand, feeling rejected again.

"Majesty…"

"It's getting late. I have to go feed Sunfyre so he can endure the trip.”

“Will you travel by dragon?”

“How else would a Targaryen do it?” expressed obviously.

You were silent for a moment and then he stood up, ready to fulfill his obligations. In the afternoon he had already left, without emotional goodbyes or anything like that.

You had those weeks alone to reflect on everything that had been happening. You firmly believed that a cruel and evil person would always be that way, even if they hid it, because humans can’t change from one day to the next. Still, you had to allow Aegon the courtesy of admitting that he wasn't being a complete jerk lately.

You tried to think of any unpleasant moments with him during that week and although you found a couple, you realized that they had all been because of minor arguments or simply that one of the two of you had woken up in a bad mood. The hatred for the boy had been so ingrained in you that now it was difficult to decipher how much of it was due to things that were really happening and how much of it was a resentment carried from the past, at the beginning of that harmful relationship that existed between you.

He was no longer a mean man to you, he just sometimes had those logical slips for anyone who has never been taught to love. He didn't know how to care for you, how to talk to you, or even how to touch you properly. He had always existed alone and could still be seen reflected in his incessant desire for you to be the one to look for him, in his longing to know that you would miss him during his absence and in wanting you to look forward to his return. He wanted you to pay attention to him. He needed it.

One fine afternoon the vision of Sunfyre finally appeared in the bright blue of the sky, with you watching from the huge window of your room. He looked majestic, flying deftly and confidently with the rider above him grinning from ear to ear. Aegon had once confessed to you that he loved to fly on his dragon and he spoke about it with a devotion that completely touched you.

You thought about going to look for him, grateful that he had returned, but you were afraid that your presence would bother him or, in that case, that there would be murmurs about you. You didn't want to seem like a desperate wife so you thought it would be best to look for him at dinner time and in case he wanted to see you before, you stayed in your room all afternoon.

Once night fell, you put on one of your prettiest dresses and went to the royal dining room hoping to find him there, but it was in vain. Luckily one of the cooks had seen him and he told you that he was in his room, since he had ordered that something to eat and drink be brought there.

Determined, you made your way there and took a moment before entering. You hoped that the time away from King's landing had not hardened your lover's character, because it would be a shame to waste what you had built for some time and have to start over, or not do it at all, which would be even worse. Since there were no guards at the door, you were able to push the wood without any hindrance and then you saw it.

Aegon was sitting near the fireplace, his back to the entrance and leaning against a table that had a jug that you assumed was full (or not so full anymore) of wine. When he heard your footsteps he turned slightly and when he saw you, he kept a serene expression on his face.

“Hey,” he exclaimed quietly.

“The maids informed me that you were here” you explained and he nodded.

You noticed that he no longer wore his black doublet with the Targaryen emblem, he only kept the breeches of the same color and a mint-colored linen shirt that left part of his chest exposed. His white hair had some natural curls that fell delicately over her shoulders.

“Yeah. I don't feel like seeing my parents.”

“I understand” you assumed that if he hadn't wanted to see you he wouldn't have hesitated to tell you, so you approached him. Undecided whether you should greet him with a kiss or just stay to the side, you placed your hands on his shoulders and leaned a little to look at him “How was the trip?”

“It was good,” he responded with reluctance. “But my body feels completely crushed”

“Hm. It shows” you whispered, amused. The tension in his body was palpable and that's why you began to massage him, pressing hard just where he needed it. Aegon, feeling your skilled hands doing this, let out a satisfied grunt and leaned his head back with his eyes closed.

Doing that wasn’t something you had planned when you went there, it had only happened out of the heat of the moment and the reality that your husband's body was taking its toll on him for the hours he had spent riding his dragon.

With each passing second Aegon's burden felt lighter and lighter, wondering where you had learned those movements and how your hands were strong enough to exert the right pressure.

"Feel better?" you asked kindly and he nodded immediately, eyes still closed.

Suddenly one of your hands slid lower, towards his chest, to caress him. This time your fingers were light as feathers, sending an electrical current up and down the man's spine under your touch. No whore had ever touched him like that, with that force and at the same time so delicately.

But it was clear that you were not a whore. You were his wife.

“Come here,” he said firmly, reaching out to wrap his hand around your wrist and pulling you directly into his lap.

It was extremely painful to admit that he had missed you. He was physically frustrated because he hadn't dared to take any other woman in your absence. It had been a long time since he had frequented pleasure houses, since his appetite was awakened only by being with you.

What the hell had you done to him?

“The cook told me that you ordered some food, but I only see wine around here. Have you already eaten anything?”

“Mhmm,” he said absently. Your legs dangled to the side and one of his hands came up to your face, brushing your loose hair away from it. The other one surrounded you until it planted itself firmly on your belly. “Still no signs of anything?”

“Honestly, I don't know. The maesters can’t say with certainty… I am sorry”

“What if you are sterile?” the mere possibility of it made you nervous and you wondered what your fate would be if that was the case. Aegon didn't look so worried “What a disappointment for Alicent.”

You didn't know how to take that, because on the one hand it could be that your husband was amused by the irony of the matter and on the other hand it was that he would never have wanted to have children with you. For a moment you thought that the tranquility of the environment had been fragmented by this, but it turned out that the man couldn't care less. He was completely focused on your lips, almost as if hypnotized.

“I trust that is not the case, your grace. Just… it was a streak of bad luck.”

“I guess so,” he murmured nonchalantly. He was still watching your mouth when you spoke “But now I don’t care much about that.”

He carefully grabbed you by the back of your neck and brought you closer to shorten the distance, giving you an eager kiss that took your breath away. The hand that was on your waist pulled you closer to his body, leaving practically no separation between you and him. You could feel the desperation on his lips and in his touch, like he was eager to make you his. And at the same time, he was kissing you like he had never done before: it was sweet, yearning, passionate. You felt like he really wanted you.

He separated from you so you could breathe and, as best he could, he maneuvered to lift your body until he placed you on the table, where it was easier for him to place himself in the space between your legs. You instinctively placed your hands around his neck and wrapped one of your legs around his body.

“I longed for you. These weeks” you finally confessed. You heard him, and felt him, breathe more erratically at this because your words had fallen on him with the force of an axe.

From there, Aegon acted solely driven by the feeling of knowing that you had wanted to see him as much as he had wanted to see you.

His entire body leaned over you to kiss you, with the same urgency as at the beginning. While he did that he grabbed you by the lower back, pulling you until your body collided with his crotch which, if it wasn't already hard, wouldn't take long.

His kisses were clumsy due to urgency and after a while he moved away from your mouth to descend to your neck. Sometimes he left a kiss or two, at most, but this time he seemed to want to take his time. His tongue ran all over your skin, freshly washed, and he spread caresses without restraint. Every place the dragon's lips touched lit up with fire and his hips grinding against you weren't doing much for the blush on your cheeks. Inevitably you began to sigh from so many stimuli, right at the level of his ear, which only motivated him to continue.

As best he could he pulled the laces on the back of your dress and it didn't take long to get rid of the restraints. He slid one of your sleeves over your shoulder to begin kissing that section, the same way he had done with your neck. An indiscreet moan escaped you as your husband bit into your soft flesh and you could feel him smile against your skin.

“You're mine, right?” he sighed brokenly. You had tilted your head back to give him more space and he took the opportunity to lower the entire torso of your dress. “Only mine…”

With the same devotion he took care of your breasts and you couldn't do anything but continue alternating between sighs and some muffled moans. You could feel how he longed for you, eager to be able to kiss every inch of your skin even if it took him the entire night. Suddenly your body had become a temple, an object worthy of worship. The prince continued to distribute kisses that each time descended towards your belly, until with one hand he violently threw everything that was on the table and you ended up lying completely on it. Then he walked away.

You were about to ask what had happened when he took care of taking off your ballerina flats and throwing them somewhere far away in the room, only to stretch your leg up to the height of his torso to start kissing it. No one, not even him, had ever done that to you, so it was natural for you to be dismayed. His kisses moved quickly up your thigh and once he did that, he dropped to his knees in front of you. The skirt of your dress blocked your view and when you tried to get up something made you scream. Aegon had bitten into the tender flesh of your thighs, quite close to your crotch and with more force than he had hit your shoulder. You could only imagine his face when he carefully licked the mark he had surely left on you, once again making your chest exhale a moan.

What he did next and the sensation it caused, you could never have even imagined. That mouth, which most of the time was used for ironic puns and sloppy kisses, was now taking expert care of all of your pussy. Aegon was devouring you completely, touching just where it was necessary to make you squirm on the table. He wasn't careful at all; it was a touch hungry and extremely dirty.

You wanted to hold on as much as you could to keep yourself attached to reality, but it was difficult with your husband eating you like that. One of his arms wrapped around your leg and placed it over his shoulder, probably to give him better access. You had never moaned like that in his presence and it only made him harder and harder beneath the tight fabric of his breeches.

The pleasure was barely getting to your head when he stopped and a dissatisfied grunt escaped you shamelessly. Aegon laughed unabashedly at this, pleased at the control he had gained over you, and then went up again to kiss you hungrily. You couldn't do anything but welcome his salty lips and you moaned against him as he leaned against your body and you could feel his crotch, not knowing if it was your own wetness or his that was present.

He held you from behind and, without stopping kissing you, carried you until he placed you on the bed. You considered it somewhat unfair that your husband already had you trembling beneath him and still hadn't taken off a single piece of clothing, but your complaints were silenced when he hurriedly pulled his shirt over his head and took off his breeches in record time. In the same way, he pulled your dress towards your legs so that a second later it ended up on the floor, along with everything else.

He knelt down on the mattress and spread your legs roughly, lining himself up with your entrance. He began to rub the tip of his member up and down your already wet center and that did nothing but drive you crazy again.

When a delicate, pleading, «please» escaped your swollen lips, Aegon knew it was more stimulating to have you begging for him than to worry about only satisfying himself.

He played with you for a while longer, smiling from ear to ear at the sight of his delicate, pretty wife vibrating from having him close, until he finally plunged into you. For the first time there was enough wetness in you that the stroke felt satisfying rather than painful and both of you let out a delicious moan.

He set the pace, slow at first, but after a while his movements became more desperate. He wanted to get to the core of you, he wanted to fill you completely so you knew that only he could make you feel that way. When his body began to ache he leaned towards you, resting each of his arms on the side of your head and looking directly at you. You had stopped looking away from him, now you were looking at him with your mouth open with pleasure, your eyes watery and your pupils dilated on your completely flushed cheeks.

“Aegon,” you sobbed pathetically, clouded by everything you were experiencing and proving that it wasn't long before you reached your orgasm.

You had never called him by his name. You always referred to him as «your grace», «prince» or «husband», at best. So hearing his name come out of your lips like that, under those circumstances, was too much for him to bear.

Knowing that he couldn't last much longer, one of his hands moved down to rest his thumb on your clit and once there he began to make erratic circles. You closed your eyes, completely seized by pleasure and a couple more thrusts were enough to make you lose the battle. Hearing your whimpers, combined with the way your walls squeezed him, was enough to make him cum too. With trembling legs you felt the warm liquid filling you and, for the first time, it was comforting.

When Aegon plopped down next to you, you immediately missed his body warmth. Both of you were breathing heavily, trying to catch the breath that the orgasm had taken from you. You could clearly feel your heartbeat bouncing off your bare chest and the stinging sensation coming from your crotch and running through your entire body was something you could get used to. Your hair had stuck to your face from the sweat and not to mention your lips, which you felt were burning from your husband's attention.

Aegon had already had many orgasms in his life so this time he decided to turn his gaze a little to see you enjoying yours. The mere idea that he was responsible for your condition made him completely shake.

“You look beautiful,” he blurted out suddenly. You thought he had heard wrong because of the rush, but from the way he was smiling at you, you highly doubted it. “Just like that”

“Like what?”

“Freshly fucked. Well fucked” he corrected himself.

A laugh bubbled up from within you and you blushed even more, if that was possible, perhaps from the nerves and elation of what had just happened. The man stood up a little from his seat and leaned down to kiss you, although this time he did it with a calm and affection that you never thought you would see in him. It was just that he couldn't deny it anymore; from that moment on he would become an open book for you, where you could see all his feelings, desires and fears.

“I don't know why you're doing this,” you suddenly murmured and Aegon pulled away enough to look at you “And I don't know why you've been acting like this these past few months. But I like it. I think it's a good time for you to know."

“You said I could choose who I am,” he said meekly. One of his hands grabbed your chin and stole another fleeting kiss from you. “I haven't forgotten, every word is present in my head. It's just... sometimes it's hard. And I thought I would have a better chance with you, even with the things I did to you when we got married”

You smiled at him and were happy to know that the change in his behavior was because of the talk you once had with him. If he continued like this, ignoring the demons inside him and trying to be better, then your marriage had a chance to become more than just a condemnation.

Driven by the pleasant feeling growing in your chest you reached out towards him to reward him with a kiss. The man's breath hitched when you pushed him to the side and reversed roles, now you being the one pampering him while he was lying down. There was a playful glint in your husband's eyes as you looked at him.

“Do you know this is the first time you kissed me?” he exhaled softly.

You couldn't believe that was possible and for a few seconds you tried to remember so you could contradict him. But every time you remembered you realized that it was always him who initiated the contact to which you only responded, so, effectively, it was the first kiss you gave him out of conviction.

Maybe it was an omen that something good was coming.

Still happy with how everything had turned out, you snuggled into his side, your head resting on his chest while he hugged you and threw a sheet over your bodies. You planted a hand on his bare skin and began drumming your fingers, alternating with small circles made with the greatest delicacy.

You were silent for a long time, you even thought that your husband had fallen asleep until you heard him speak again:

“It's also the first time I'm doing this.”

“Are you talking about sex, your grace?”

“No, I'm talking about cuddling,” he confessed softly, his hand caressing your back the same way you did with him, “And don't call me your majesty anymore. I am Aegon. Or my prince, at any rate. But my is important”

With the affection worthy of a wife, you raised your head to place a kiss on his cheek and assured him that from now on you would call him that in the privacy of your chambers.

Suddenly, after another moment of silence, Aegon pulled you close to him as if afraid you were going to suddenly evaporate. Intending to calm his fears, you climbed until you were on top of his body, hiding your head in his neck so that the distance became minimal.

There was silence for another couple of minutes.

“Do you think I can ever be forgiven?”

Apparently the atmosphere of the moment had managed to soften the boy's heart.

“We can all be absolved, Aegon.”

"And you?"

"Me what?"

“Do you think you can ever love me?” you were quiet for a second, thinking about your response. Then, he added “Or could you at least try? It would be a nice detail for me. No one has ever done it before.”

Not wanting to ruin the mood with a false word you decided to kiss his neck gently and that was enough of an answer for him. He would have to trust in your goodwill and that he could continue to restrain his impulses to keep this newly discovered gem that was his wife. With some luck you could even be that person he prayed for so much all his life, one with whom he could feel safe.

The slowing of the man's breathing revealed to you that he had already fallen asleep and you discovered that it seemed not so bad to find yourself in that position, sheltered by your lover's arms.

Under that scenario, the idea of eventually loving Prince Aegon Targaryen no longer sounded so far-fetched.

[vigilante-3073]

Daddy's Credit Card

Cullen Family x Female Vampire Reader (Platonic)

PART 4

Summary: Bella's life is in danger and the Cullen family rallies around her. Feeling outmatched by the threat of an army and forcing themselves to work alongside the wolves, Edward reaches out to Y/N.

TW: Mentions of fighting, lack of regard for the feelings of others.

Graduation was fast approaching for the students of Forks High School and change was on the horizon. The student body was abuzz with conversations about future careers and top university picks. The Cullen family kept their involvement to a minimum, the less people knew about them the better.

Bella had her own ideas for her future and had been asking Edward to transform her into a Vampire. After the couple nearly became a Shakespearean tragedy in Italy, she had come to understand the fragility of their situation.

The Cullen family and Bella had come to a reluctant understanding that she would become a Vampire. The change would occur after graduation and Bella would be welcomed into their family with open arms.

Edward was pushing Bella to accept a marriage proposal before he would transform her, but Bella danced around the question every time.

Y/N had disappeared after she found Edward in Italy, he hadn't heard from her and he was reluctant to reach out.

Edward found himself missing her friendship, he had never been very close to the rest of his family and he wished that he knew how to fix things between them.

Y/N was a hazard to Bella. She was dangerous and Edward attempted to convince himself that they would be better off without her.

Carlisle was worried and he had been reaching out to his contacts around the globe to see if anyone knew where she could be. Edward wanted to assure Carlisle that Y/N would be fine on her own and she would return to them eventually like she had before. But something about this separation felt final.

She was gone.

Victoria had been returning to the area to hunt for Bella and the hypervigilance was beginning to take a toll on the family. Alice had been watching her decisions, but apprehending her was a difficult task.

Edward sat at his laptop at the table in the home of Bella's mother. He had taken her on a final trip before graduation while also allowing his family to hunt for the redheaded Vampire in Forks.

He watched Bella interact with her mother on the porch before his eyes returned to his screen.

'Y/N,

I don't expect you to read this, but I hope that you do. Carlisle has been searching for you and come up with nothing. If I were to begin looking for you, I wouldn't have any idea where to start and I suppose that would be my fault. I wish I had spent more time getting to know you, you have always looked out for me and that sentiment has not been properly reciprocated. I need you to know that I miss you and I miss our friendship.

The school-year is coming to an end and the family has made a choice about Bella's future. She wants to be like us and we have made the decision that she will join our family after graduation.

I am currently staying at Bella's mother's home in Florida. I brought her here in an attempt to get her to change her mind, but the trip also serves another purpose.

Victoria, James' mate, has returned to Forks in order to harm Bella. The family has this under control, but I thought that you should know.

I miss you and I'm sorry for the distance that I have created between us. I care about you and I hope that you return to us when you're ready.

Sincerely,

E.C '

His mouse hovered over the send button before he pressed it, slowly closing the laptop and returning his gaze to the porch. He hoped that Y/N would reply to his message, but he wouldn't blame her if she didn't.

...

Carlisle stood in his room, placing some folded dress shirts into his bag. Edward appeared in the doorway, "You know where she is?" He questioned.

"I heard back from one of my contacts in Milan. They seem to think that she's in the area," Carlisle stated, zipping up his bag and picking it up.

"I should come with you," Edward said.

"No, you should stay here. Bella needs you closeby in case Victoria returns," Carlisle advised, making his way out of the bedroom.

"What are you going to say to Y/N?" Edward asked, following after him as he moved through the house.

"I am going to ask her to come home," Carlisle stated simply.

"She's not going to come and you know that," Edward said.

"It's her decision and I can only hope that enough time has passed to soften her resolve. She went to you in Italy and it shows that there is still a part of her that cares for you," Carlisle said, opening the door and stepping outside.

He walked down the steps and opened the trunk of his car, placing his bag inside before closing it. Carlisle turned to his adopted son, "I will try my absolute best to bring her home," He assured, resting his hand on Edward's shoulder and giving it a gentle comforting squeeze.

"Tell her-," Edward began, the words died on his tongue. He gulped, "Tell her I'm sorry and that she was right," Edward said.

Carlisle gave him a small sad smile, "I'll tell her," He assured, stepping over to the driver's side and getting into the car.

Edward stood in the driveway as Carlisle started the car and drove off. He moved inside and found himself seated in front of his laptop again. His first email had never received a reply, but he still found himself composing a new draft.

'Y/N

Carlisle is coming for you. His contact in Milan told him that you were in the area and if you want to leave, now is your chance.

As a wise woman once told me, you have your own free will. Just know that I want you to return to our family more than anything and I hope that you will at least consider it.

I miss you and I'm sorry.

Come home.

Sincerely,

E.C '

He pressed send on the message, staring at his screen as he thought about how broken their relationship had become. Every time he thought that he could put the pieces together, another destructive part of him just continued to break them into smaller fragments.

"What are you playing at with this?" Rosalie asked from the doorway.

"I don't know what you mean," Edward stated, standing up and closing his laptop.

"I've seen what you're writing to her. I never took you as the type to grovel," Rosalie said.

"It's not like that," Edward snapped, exhaling in an attempt to calm himself.

"If you're telling her what you think she wants to hear, you're just setting her up to be hurt again. She's not stupid, Edward, she knows that you chose Bella over her. It still probably feels like she's swallowing broken glass when she thinks about it too hard, but she'll get over it. She got over it when Carlisle left her in the dust," Rosalie said.

"That's not what happened," Edward stated.

"You're right... Carlisle couldn't bear the weight of her affection and he offered you up to her on a silver platter before taking a wife, thinking that it would fix everything. He broke her heart and now you're doing the exact same thing, but without there being anyone left for her to turn to. She is alone out there and your fluffy little emails are keeping her stuck on you. Leave her alone and let her move on," Rosalie stated before walking off down the hallway.

...

Carlisle returned from Milan empty-handed like Edward had expected him to. A part of him still felt disheartened when Carlisle told him that he didn't even see her. There was no trace of her in Milan, but she never left anything behind when she moved along. She had pretty much perfected the skill of vanishing over time.

Edward attempted to refrain from emailing Y/N after his conversation with Rosalie, but there was no one that he wanted to talk to more.

A nomad Vampire had made its way into the area and Edward discovered that the person had been inside Bella's home. The Cullens put a protective detail outside Bella's home to keep her and Charlie as they searched the area. The Vampire was nowhere to be found, but the nomad being in Bella's bedroom and the rise in Newborn activity in Seattle was becoming a concern.

The Cullens quickly realized that the threat was palpable when Alice foresaw the Newborns coming to Forks in order to kill Bella. The wolves had agreed to fight alongside them in order to protect the humans of Forks, but they were still greatly outmatched. Edward found himself at his computer once more, fingers hovering over the keys before he shut the laptop.

He pulled his cellphone from his pocket, dialing Y/N's number and holding the phone up to his ear. Edward listed the line ring, fully prepared to hear that the number was no longer in service. He was almost shocked when the line clicked, no voice was heard on the end of the line but he knew that she was there.

"Y/N... If you're there, I need your help. Bella is in danger and we're going up against something big. I know that I have no right to ask, but your help could really make a difference for us. Please, I need you here," Edward said.

He waited for a reply, reluctantly hanging up the phone after another moment of silence and tossing it down on his desk.

He ran a hand over his face before leaning back in his chair, he heard movement in the room across the hall and slowly stood up from his chair.

Edward made his way over, watching Bella turn in her sleep, reaching out across the bed. His mother's ring glittered on her finger in the moonlight, he gulped before slowly approaching the bed. A part of him felt like he had lied to Y/N, but he also knew that she would never come if she knew of his engagement.

Was that why he'd done it? To give her a sense of finality?

It was unlikely that Y/N would ever return to the family, but news like this would absolutely destroy her. Edward knew that the real reason he hadn't told Y/N on that twenty second phone call was because he didn't know how to close the door on her. Y/N carried that unrequited love for him all these years and he had pretended not to notice it. Edward had been selfish, he needed her friendship too much to tell her that they could never be together in the way she wanted.

Some may call him heartless, but he could only hope to abuse that soft spot she had for him one last time. He needed to.

To save the woman he loved.

....

PART 5

[cobaltperun]

The Catalyst (10) - This House is a Circus

WandaNat x Female Reader

Chapter summary: You barely came back, fresh from your training, stronger than ever and already there’s a mess and S.H.I.E.L.D. was actually HYDRA. Which, in hindsight, actually explained a lot.

Spotify Playlist

Masterlist / First Part / Previous Part

Word Count: 6.1k

-And in the anomaly, you'll slip into familiar ways-

The mall looked safe for now, you didn’t notice any S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and most importantly neither did Natasha, which should hopefully mean Natasha and Rogers would have enough time to figure out what was on the USB stick or where it came from. You, on the other hand, were tasked with keeping the car running just in case they needed a quick escape. It’s been twenty minutes since the two of them went inside and you were getting a bit restless, especially when you saw several armored vehicles parking in front of the entrance.

“Natasha, they arrived,” you told her through the comms, her own, off grid, safe from S.H.I.E.L.D. monitoring. She was the Black Widow, no one could catch her that easily.

“Figured, tracer is our only option now,” she replied as quietly as she could.

“Say one word and I’ll cause a distraction,” you offered, already considering grabbing your glaive from the back. You folded a part of the backseat to keep the glaive and Rogers’ shield out of sight.

Natasha didn’t respond and you heard an unfamiliar voice offering to help her and Rogers. An employee, you figured. “Oh, no. My fiancé was just helping me with some honeymoon destinations,” fiancé, huh? But she also giggled! Giggled! Like a love-struck teenager! The sound was cut off on Natasha’s end, but you figured you’d know if something went wrong. It would only take her on press of a button to reconnect. You on the other hand, you had to sit there and contemplate on why that word, even spoken as a cover, annoyed you so much.

You weren’t jealous, were you?

No, of course not.

You grabbed a bottle of water from the bag and took a few sips to take your mind off of that stupid word.

~X~

The moment her and Steve approached the escalator she got a bad feeling, but they just dodged two agents and changing their mind and going in another direction so abruptly could easily get someone’s attention.

She should have listened to her instincts, but sometimes that simply wasn’t a choice. So, she stepped onto the escalator with Steve right behind her and there was the reason for her bad feeling. Rumlow got on from the opposite direction, he’d see them, recognize them, even in the crowd. Steve laughing wouldn’t help this time, she needed to hide their faces, yet for the first time in her career she considered punching her way out of this.

No. That would only put civilians in danger and make their upcoming journey to New Jersey a lot more difficult.

She quickly turned to Steve making the decision for both of them. “Kiss me,” she ordered.

“What?” and of course Steve had to make it more difficult for her. He was a soldier, used to forcing his way out of tough situations.

Yet that wasn’t an option here. “Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable,” she’d kiss him, hide their faces, and Rumlow would look away. That would be the end of it.

“Yes, they do,” tired of Steve wasting the precious seconds they had before Rumlow would be close enough to recognize them, Natasha pulled his head down and kissed him. She hid his face with her hand, kissing him just enough to make it believable, and he kissed her back, even placed his hand on her side and the moment Rumlow passed by them she pulled away, ending the kiss and putting an almost harsh distance between them as she began walking down the escalator. “You still uncomfortable?” she asked, slipping on the mask of the Black Widow on, just so she could separate job from her personal feelings.

“It's not exactly the word I would use,” he said as they stepped off the escalator and headed for the exit, unnoticed by the agents.

She remembered this feeling all too well, this need to avoid kissing someone during a mission. Back when she was realizing that she was in love with you every kiss felt wrong, felt like the only lips she wanted to feel on her own were yours; and now that feeling was back. It frightened her how quickly that feeling came back and stronger than ever. She and Steve got out of the mall and went to a small parking lot where your car was parked, yet the fresh air and being so close to safety didn’t help her. All her life she’s been taught not only not to mix professional and personal, but to not have any personal feelings whatsoever, yet loving you made even fake kisses or displays of affection difficult.

At least it’s been a long time since her mission involved seduction that went beyond flirtatious words or looks.

Natasha sat down next to you and Steve went to the back seat before leaning over to you. “Think you can get us to New Jersey?” he asked and you nodded, turning the engine on and driving off.

She looked at you and then glanced down at your right side, the scar, the heat of your skin underneath her fingertips, the frantic hug and the warmth she was enveloped in. A week, that’s how long it took you to reignite, pun intended, the feelings she no longer felt she had right to feel. Just like the kiss in the mall there was only one solution here. Bury the feelings; she didn’t deserve that kind of happiness anyway. She leaned her head back, put her feet up on the dash, and sighed as she watched the park you were driving by.

She heard you picking up your water bottle. “Are you okay?” you asked her, oblivious to what was going on through her mind, but still attentive to even the subtlest changes in her demeanor. Some things never change.

“Just lamenting over being stuck with two people who’d rather punch their way out than try to avoid trouble,” she joked and looked at you again. There was a grin on your face as you opened the bottle. You weren’t like that all those years ago, yet Natasha adored this side of you just as much, if not more.

“I haven’t really considered a kiss as a way out,” Steve defended himself and her eyes widened as you sipped on the water. And then you connected the dots, and the water evaporated in an instant while the bottom of the bottle burst open.

Natasha was sure her heart was racing as she watched you with bated breath, and she was well-aware of Steve holding his breath, half-expecting a fireball to come his way. You looked offended as you glared at the ruined bottle as if it was supposed to withstand your powers. “Had to hide your faces, right?” you muttered, lowering the windows so the air would cool down and placed the ruined bottle in the cup holder.

But Natasha smiled, hearing nothing but understanding, though covered up under a fairly thick layer of jealousy in your voice. “Mhm,” and then she turned to Rogers with vengeance in her eyes. The bottle would have survived if he kept his mouth shut about the kiss. “So, was that your first kiss since 1945?” she asked curiously.

“Damn, rest in peace, Rogers,” judging by the smirk on your face you clearly found some petty amusement in teasing Steve. But another little detail caught her attention. Steve was still ‘Rogers’ as far as you were concerned. Tony, Thor, even Bruce, you spoke about and spoke to them using their first names, Steve was still ‘Rogers’ and Natasha stopped herself from wincing, realizing this probably won’t speed up the process.

“That bad, huh?” she could see Steve leaning back into his seat and getting a bit defensive.

She figured he was uncomfortable and decided to take some pity on him. “No, I just wondered how much practice you've had,” and she might have been backtracking a bit just to avoid hurting his feelings because, well, he wasn’t that bad.

“You don't need practice,” he argued back and crossed his arms. Definitely getting defensive.

“Keep telling yourself that,” you, on the other hand, weren’t pulling your punches.

“Do you keep telling yourself that?” she spoke without thinking about what your answer would be.

“Nope, got plenty of practice,” you replied nonchalantly, and she abruptly got her feet of the dash and sat up straight, focusing entirely on you. “Jealous, Romanoff?” you smirked and despite knowing she had no right to be, she was jealous.

Kissing Steve was self-preservation and for the sake of the mission and safety of the civilians around them. She looked you in the eyes as you stopped at the red light, and then looked at Steve, deciding to push her jealousy aside. You spent three years angry at her, whatever you felt before she betrayed you was long gone. The burst of jealousy from before was nothing but a remnant of those feelings, nothing more. “See, everybody needs practice,” she told Steve.

“It was not my first kiss since 1945. I'm ninety-five, I'm not dead,” he was surprisingly sensitive about this, or no, not actually sensitive, just embarrassed to be talking about it. Right, he’s been adapting to this century relatively fine, so sometimes she forgot he spent close to seven decades frozen.

“Nobody special, though?” she asked, mostly to keep the conversation going, and to maybe get a better idea as to why he’s been rejecting her ideas for close to a year now.

“Believe it or not, it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience,” he relaxed significantly, so it definitely was being embarrassed, rather than sensitive about his experience.

“Well, that's alright, you just make something up,” because the alternative was loneliness, and people like Steve, all righteous and better than most people she ever met, deserved more in life than suffering in solitude.

“What, like you?” his words didn’t hurt her, she knew better than anyone how often she made things up. It was a part of her job.

“I don't know. The truth is a matter of circumstances; it's not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I,” she glanced at you, noticing a thoughtful look on your face. She couldn’t read you as well as she used to.

“That's a tough way to live,” Steve pointed out and she agreed.

“It's a good way not to die, though,” and at the end of the day that was the most important part, if she died she’d fail her mission. And that could not be allowed, in the Red Room, or S.H.I.E.L.D.

“You know, it's kind of hard to trust someone when you don't know who that someone really is,” Steve was right, but he was asking to know something she didn’t know either. After all these years she had no idea who she really was. Her attention focused on you again, before she betrayed you she felt like she was being herself with you, none of her actions were calculated, the thought that you would ever betray her or use something against her never crossed her mind, so, Natasha figured the closest she ever got to who she really was underneath all the training and her job, was when she was with you. She had a similar feeling when she was with Clint or Yelena, but being with you before she betrayed you was still different than being with either of those two.

“Yeah. Who do you want me to be?” she asked him, curious about his answer.

“How about a friend?” it was an absurd answer, but certainly one she should have expected from Steve, and it made Natasha laugh softly and from the corner of her eye she noticed you smiling.

“Well, there's a chance you might be in the wrong business, Rogers,” he wasn’t naïve, but he was too idealistic for this world.

As you left the city behind the three of you fell into comfortable silence with you driving and her and Steve just looking at the sides. And when she got bored of watching the countless trees you were driving by, she turned to look at you. Now that things were settled, she could think back to your reaction with a bit less cynicism. You looked adorably annoyed when you found out about the kiss, yet Natasha found herself realizing just how much you changed.

In four years that passed since you left S.H.I.E.L.D. you just lost your agent slash spy instincts. You couldn’t hide your emotions, even now that she was sure you’d love to do it, you got genuinely surprised, and you, even if it wasn’t dangerous, did lose control for a moment. Every action she took instinctively, without even thinking about it, like blending in, or immediately thinking of a cover, was now a conscious effort on your part. While you haven’t forgotten all of your training, you truly weren’t an agent anymore. You were an Avenger, through and through. And Natasha was happy because of that.

“What’s wrong?” you suddenly asked her and she wondered if you were noticing any changes in her behavior. Were there any changes to notice? Maybe, but she hoped they weren’t as noticeable.

“I just realized you’re no longer an agent,” when you raised an eyebrow at that she continued. “You’re an open book now,” she explained.

“I guess old habits do eventually die,” you shrugged, but it wasn’t just habits. It was your powers. Back when you were an agent you were weaker, now you could confidently go into battle against most people, as long as they weren’t Thor or Hulk and at the very least fight back, back then you couldn’t do it. The powers made it easier to leave the old habits behind.

~X~

It’s been hours since you reached the abandoned military base, the same one Rogers came from, but you didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. You looked at Natasha as both of you came to the same conclusion. This place was a waste of time.

“This is a dead end. Zero heat signature, zero waves, not even radio. Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off,” she figured, meaning you were back to square one, but then Rogers began heading toward a building slightly ahead of the three of you. “What is it?”

“Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards of the barracks. This building is in the wrong place,” he explained and broke the lock with his shield and opened the doors. You stepped inside and went down the stairs as you lit a flame to see where you were going. And then Natasha turned on the lights, revealing S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the wall and their office, perhaps the very first one.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” you could have expected many things, but this was not on your list.

“This is S.H.I.E.L.D.” Natasha realized as you walked through the office. There was dust everywhere, but it looked a lot better than an abandoned building should look like.

“Maybe where it started,” the three of you saw several portraits, one of which you recognized as Howard Stark, Tony’s father.

“Did someone infiltrate S.H.I.E.L.D. without the best spies in the world noticing?” you suddenly asked because if the files did come from here, and if this really was the original office, then that felt like the only possible solution to you.

“That’s more and more likely the more things we uncover,” Natasha sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and frowning. You approached her and placed your hand on her shoulder.

“You couldn’t have known,” you whispered softly, already realizing that this could easily mess with her head depending on how bad this ended up being.

“I should have. Whatever is going on, I should have realized it,” and she was already blaming herself, already considering only the worst possible option.

“Some things we choose not to see,” you weren’t about to let her go down that path, even if her worst scenario turned out to be true, you couldn’t let her lose sight of everything good she did.

Before Natasha could reply Rogers pushed a bookshelf to the side, revealing an elevator behind it. As much as you hated to admit it, this was really starting to look like Natasha’s worst scenario coming true. Without a word the three of you got into the elevator, anxious about what you would find underneath the offices. You took your glaive, just in case this was a trap. The elevator doors opened and you saw a bunch of frankly ancient computers, certainly not what you expected.

“This can't be the data-point, this technology is ancient,” Natasha pointed out, but then she approached the table with a USB port.

“Not everything, I guess,” you stepped to her right as the computer in front of you activated, asking if they wanted to initiate the system. Natasha typed in yes. “Y-E-S, spells yes,” you smiled at that as the computed started to come to life. “Shall we play a game? It's from a movie that-“

“Yeah, I saw it,” Rogers interrupted her.

“Rogers, Steven. Born, 1918,” a voice startled coming from the computer startled you a bit as a face formed on the screen and a camera panned over to Natasha. “Romanova, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984,” well that was actually creepy, whatever this was it had data on both of them. “L/N, Y/N. Born, 1986,” okay, perhaps not everything, since the data they had on you seemed to only include Edward’s last name.

“This can’t be a recording. But this technology isn’t modern enough for a program like Stark’s J.A.R.V.I.S.” Natasha looked around, baffled by the voice and already looking for hidden computers that would explain this.

“I am not a program, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am,” the computer showed an old photo of the man who, you assumed, was speaking to the three of you somehow.

“Do you know this thing?” Natasha turned to Rogers who walked around the computer.

“Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He's been dead for years,” Rogers explained as he looked around as well.

“First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain,” Zola explained and you looked at the floor.

“I am very tempted to fry it,” you tapped the floor with the tip of your glaive, but figured you needed Zola for now.

“How did you get here?” Rogers asked.

“He was probably invited,” Natasha answered instead, Rogers turned to look at her and she continued. “It was Operation Paperclip after World War II. S.H.I.E.L.D. recruited German scientists with strategic value.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that couldn’t backfire,” you sighed. How could they be so careless. Recruiting was one thing, but if Zola managed to do this without anyone discovering his plans, then they really messed up.

“Indeed. They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own,” yeah, you all figured as much.

“HYDRA died with the Red Skull,” Rogers still tried to fight that realization, still tried to cling to the idea that his sacrifice stopped HYDRA.

“Cut off one head, two more shall take its place,” the head on the screen split into two as he said that.

“Prove it,” the desperation in Rogers’ voice reminded you of your time in the Red Room, resisting the idea that S.H.I.E.L.D. left you to die. And now Rogers was realizing that not only did he fail to stop HYDRA, it was restored and strengthened in S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Accessing archive,” you all watched as the different images began popping up on the screen. “HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed,” Zola explained, showing the image of the man with a sniper rifle and metal arm.

“That's impossible, S.H.I.E.L.D. would have stopped you,” Natasha argued even though she probably didn’t believe it herself.

“Accidents will happen,” your eyes widened when you saw the reports on Howard and Maria Stark’s death, made to look like a car accident.

“Who killed them?!” you demanded slamming your hand on the table.

“But of course, the Winter Soldier,” you didn’t realize it back then, but you should have heard the shift in Zola’s voice, the subtle satisfaction that you went and fell right into the trap set for you. “HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain. Your death amounts to the same as your Life; a zero sum,” and just like they created chaos they created the perfect reason to tear the Avengers apart. The very first test. And none of you knew it yet. You’d know though. Soon. Rogers, angrier than you’ve ever seen him before, smashed the computer screen, only for another one to be turned on. “As I was saying.”

“What's on this drive?” Rogers demanded.

“Project Insight requires insight. So, I wrote an algorithm,” he sounded so proud of himself.

“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?” Natasha asked.

“The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it,” Zola’s ominous answer came just as the doors behind you started to close. Rogers threw his shield, trying to stop it, but it was too late.

“We got a bogey. Short range ballistic. 30 seconds tops,” Natasha looked at her phone.

“What direction is it coming from?” ribbons formed around your wrists and began rapidly burning down as you charged your glaive.

“Northwest!” she told you and you threw the glaive in the opposite direction, blowing up the exit for the three of you.

“There’s no time!” Rogers yelled at you but Natasha was already pulling the USB out of the port and pulling him toward you as the flames engulfed you and you forcefully went into overdrive.

You gritted your teeth, ignoring the pain of your entire body changing, burning from the inside. Flames and lightning hardened around your body, forming the blue armor-like shell, hot to touch but not enough to burn anyone unless you decided to. You wrapped your arms around Natasha and Rogers’ waists and flew through the hole your glaive made, you sent a quick lightning bolt at it and pulled it back toward you and got it to stick to your back. You flew out of the building just as the missile hit the building.

You didn’t stop though, you couldn’t, not until you got far from the military base. You had to get as far as you could before S.H.I.E.L.D. or rather HYDRA, showed up. At least this form was physically much stronger than your normal form and you could actually carry Rogers. “Where do we go?” you asked, flying as fast as you could without Natasha and Rogers being affected by the speed. Rogers put his shield in front of him and Natasha, protecting them.

“Washington!” Rogers told you after a few moments and you took a sharp left turn.

“We better not run into HYDRA,” you muttered, deciding to fly low and above a forest just in case you needed to make a quick landing.

You’ve gotten strong enough to maintain this form for roughly five minutes, instead of the two minutes you had when you were fighting Chitauri, and that was enough to get the three of you about seventeen miles away from the military base. “Get ready, I’m landing,” you warned Natasha and Rogers and began descending.

You landed at the edge of the forest and let go of Natasha and Steve as you stumbled a few steps forward. The blue shell cracked and you dropped to your knees and cried out as you returned to normal. “Y/N!” Natasha ran to your side, kneeling down next to you and touched your cheek, gently turning your head so you’d look at her.

“Don’t worry, this always happens,” you whispered, just barely resisting the urge to lean against her and just rest for a moment. Instead, you pushed your body up with a loud groan. “You might as well consider me depowered for a few hours,” you told them and looked over to the gas station close to where you landed.

Natasha followed your line of sight and ushed you to sit back down. “Rest. Steve, keep an eye on her, I’ll go and get us a ride,” she took charge and, knowing you were too exhausted to argue, you just nodded, waiting for Natasha to come back.

“Thanks. For getting us out,” Rogers told you as he sat down next to you.

“Don’t mention it,” you mumbled, already struggling to keep your eyes open. You could go into overdrive damn near anytime now, but it drained you a lot more. Sure, if you had to fight or escape, you’d still be able to move and put up a bit of a fight, but you were pretty much depowered for the next hour or so, and even after that it would take another hour to properly be able to use your powers.

At least it wasn’t six hours like it used to be.

Natasha came back with a stolen car and Rogers helped you get in the back. “I’m fine, Nat, just need to sleep,” you warned her as you just curled up on the back seat and before she could even respond you were already sleeping.

~X~

By the time you woke up you were already back in Washington, with Rogers behind the wheel and Natasha sitting next to him. You yawned and stretched as much as the backseat allowed and just groaned as you stared at the roof. “Hey, how are you?” Natasha leaned back to check up on you and you smiled a bit as you looked her in the eyes.

“Better. Sore, but better,” and you weren’t lying, you doubted you’d ever be able to use that form without being in pain afterwards. Tony had theories about it, but since your shell never partially cracked and instead always shattered entirely there was no way to full confirm his theories. At least not yet. The surface of the shell wasn’t that hot, but everything beneath it might as well be an inferno.

“Do you want any pain killers?” Natasha looked worried, she was looking you over, looking for any signs of pain or discomfort and you could see how tense she was. So, without really thinking about it, you reached up and took her hand.

“Hey, listen to me,” she looked you in the eyes. “Nothing will happen to me. Okay? I’ll be fine,” she looked at your hand and squeezed it a bit and you grinned as she relaxed.

“Sorry to interrupt you, but we’re here,” Rogers and his damn timing.

“Curse your timing, Rogers,” you grumbled, making Natasha chuckle softly. “I take that curse back, actually,” you quickly corrected, and though Natasha didn’t chuckle this time she was clearly amused.

Rogers led you to the front doors and knocked. “How do you know this guy?” you asked.

“We met a few days ago while I was running,” Rogers answered and you whipped your head toward him in disbelief.

“And he was your best idea?!” you really should have called Tony, but he was still trying to stay out of the fights, so you were trying not to make it too difficult for him. And Yelena was an option, but you kind of didn’t want to put her in danger.

Before Rogers could reply a man who you assumed was Sam Wilson opened the doors. “Hey, man,” he greeted Rogers and nodded to greet you and Natasha.

“I'm sorry about this. We need a place to lay low,” well, that was an understatement, you needed a place to lay low, and to make a plan of your next move.

“Might be a bit dangerous, though,” you pointed out, giving the man a way out and testing his willingness to help you. Rogers trusting him was a good start, but you still needed more to trust him yourself.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us,” Natasha added.

Wilson paused and then stepped a bit to the side. “Not everyone,” he invited them into his home.

~X~

Natasha freshened up first and you went into the bathroom after her, letting Rogers explained the gist of the situation to Wilson. By the time you got out of the bathroom Natasha was sitting on the bed, her hair still slightly wet. Her eyes looked empty as she looked at the floor, she wasn’t even lost in her thoughts, just so close to breaking.

“Natasha,” you approached her, but she didn’t respond, and you knew better than to touch her right now. “Nat,” you tried again, startling her. She looked at you, her eyes wide, unfocused, almost wild. “Nat, hey,” you knelt down in front of her and brushed a few drops of water from her face. “It’s not your fault.”

“I haven’t changed, I just changed my employer,” she pulled away, rejecting your touch. Rogers came in, intending to go to the bathroom, but seeing Natasha like this must have made him change his mind, as he sat down on the bed a few feet away from her.

“What's going on?” he asked carefully, almost gently, understanding that she wasn’t fine. That despite her masks and demeanor she was breaking on the inside.

Natasha shook her head, and you tentatively took her hand, reminding her this was real. “Don’t do that,” you tried to nudge her to open up as she looked at you. There was fear in her eyes. Different from any other she ever felt. Not even Hulk frightened her this much, no this was deeper, this was fear of herself. Fear that she was so broken she could no longer be trusted.

“When I first joined S.H.I.E.L.D., I thought I was going straight. But I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew whose lies I was telling, but,” she took a deep breath. “I guess I can't tell the difference anymore,” there it was. Her greatest fear. Even while in the Red Room she knew who she was working for, for whose interests she was staining her ledger red, but now even that was shattered, broken by the realization that she just went from one evil organization to another. “Thought I knew who and what I was betraying everything for,” the mission. Of course she would once again focus on that. She thought she was wiping her ledged clean, and it turned out she was just spilling more blood all over it.

“There's a chance you might be in the wrong business,” Rogers repeated her own words and it got Natasha to smile, ever so slightly.

“If it was down to me to save your lives, and you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?” she suddenly asked both of you.

“I would now. And I'm always honest,” you owed him for that, for reassuring her when she needed it the most. She looked at him, relieved, touched by his trust.

Natasha looked at you, fearful, yet hopeful at the same time. “Y/N?”

It was a belief driven entirely by emotions, by hope that things were different now, because she was different. She rejected orders, she fought harder for what she cared for, Natasha was different. “I trust you,” you could only smile at her. Steve got up with that and headed for the bathroom, and you appreciated that too as Natasha inhaled sharply and you brushed a single tear off her cheek. “I’ve got you, Nat,” you moved to sit down next to her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head as you held her.

“Thank you,” her words came out in a choked, almost broken whisper and you only held her closer, tighter, ready to pick up the pieces if she broke down. She wouldn’t though, not here, not while you were all still in danger.

~X~

As it turned out, Sam Wilson had a few tricks up his sleeves, or rather locked up in Fort Meade, so, while Natasha, Steve and him went to get it, as well as Sitwell, you were keeping an eye on the rooftop, making sure no one could interfere with the plan.

“We got Sitwell, meet us at the car,” Natasha instructed you.

“Yes, Ma’am,” you replied, for once taking the stairs instead of jumping from the rooftop and getting unwanted attention. The plan worked well for once, and the four of you met up on the parking lot behind the building where Sitwell had his flying lessons.

You all got in the car, with Sitwell sitting between you and Natasha on the backseat, and Wilson drove off, quickly getting to the highway and heading straight for the Triskelion.

“Well, this is working better than I expected,” you eventually said, having heard what Project Insight was. Frankly, you expected more resistance from Sitwell, but not all agents were made equal.

“Barely. Insight's launching in sixteen hours, we're cutting it a little bit close here,” Natasha said.

“I know. We'll use him to bypass the DNA scans and access the Helicarriers directly,” Steve explained the plan, at least the basics of it. There really wasn’t any other choice at this point. Even if you wanted to contact Tony there was a good chance he wouldn’t get here in time. Not that it mattered, you had what you had and you’d have to make it work, otherwise there would be too many casualties.

“What?! Are you crazy? That is a terrible, terrible idea-“ Sitwell tried to argue when you suddenly heard something land on the car roof and a metal arm broke through your window, pulling you out and throwing you aside.

“Shit!” you exclaimed, clutching onto your glaive as you used flames to hover in the air and fly up before a truck could hit you. You turned around just in time to see Sitwell also being thrown out, and unlike you he just died. Your entire plan was just ruined because you didn’t consider someone would jump onto Wilson’s car and kill Sitwell before any of you could react, but at least you recognized the man responsible.

The Winter Soldier. The one responsible for the deaths of Tony’s parents. You flew after the car, focusing only on catching up and making the Soldier pay for what he did, when a blue blur intercepted you and you felt a fist hitting your side, sending you crashing down and over the highway railing. You landed harshly on the concrete sidewalk and held your side. “Fuck, what hit me?” you groaned as you coughed up blood. You had at least two cracked ribs and blood trickled down the side of your face.

A blue blur came back, rushing right toward you just as you were trying to get on your knees. You raised your glaive, intending to blow whoever was coming at you into pieces, but you couldn’t move your arms. You couldn’t move at all as red energy kept you in place. The blue blur struck you again and your back hit the wall hard enough to crack it. You slumped back, still unable to move due to the red energy as a woman walked up to you. The same red energy that kept you from moving swirled around her hands.

Despite the circumstances you were in you noticed she was beautiful, dressed in a simple black dress with boots and a silk red shawl covering her shoulders and arms. And then the blue blur stopped and your breath hitched.

He looked just like Magneto.

A/N: Well, ten chapters down, many, many more to go. At least Wanda is here, even if it is as an enemy for now. Anyway, according to my calculations we’ll be starting Age of Ultron in chapter 14, so look forward to that.

Taglist: @toxicitytiger @wandaromamoff69 @womenarehotsstuff @psychickryptonitebouquet @seventeen-x @maddsdotorg @arualdcg @ilovemybabygirlmoon @redroomgraduate @canyonyodeler @skz-xii @jokermoonie @marvelwomen-simp @beggingonmykneesforher

[astrobiscuits]

Childress (30117) persona chart - what will your pregnancy be like?

Sun placement - the central theme of your pregnancy

🧸 Sun in 1st house/Aries Sun: Your main focus will be on you and yourself only. You might become more selfish during this time, believing you deserve "the best of the best". You might take up a high-impact sport (such as boxing, martial arts, American football, hockey) or a speed sport (sprinting, speed skating). If Sun is afflicted, you might prioritize yourself in the detriment of your baby's health (it could also point out to a possible abortion, but there needs to be more indicators in the chart for that)

🧸 Sun in 2nd house/Taurus Sun: Your main focus will be on your financial assets, material possession and self-worth during your pregnancy. Most of your time will be spent on buying stuff for the baby - bassinet, bottles, clothing, room decor etc. If Sun is well aspected, you might feel more desirable as a woman during your pregnancy, embracing your new body; likewise, if Sun is badly aspected, you might criticize yourself for gaining extra weight and feel less desirable

🧸 Sun in 3rd house/Gemini Sun: Your main focus will be on learning as much as you can about pregnancy & childbirth. You will desire to be informed about different types of childbirth, different symptoms during pregnancy, whether they're normal or not. If you have friends who are already parents, you might seek advice from them about childbearing and what it is like to raise a child. If Sun is badly aspected, you might have a harder time making decisions regarding your baby

🧸 Sun in 4th house/Cancer Sun: Your main focus will be on your growing family, especially your baby. If you have family traditions passed on through generations, you might repeat those traditions while pregnant. You might start a diary where you keep record of your baby kicks. You will be emotional during your pregnancy, but you'll be able to regulate your emotions. If Sun is afflicted, you might prioritize the baby over your own well-being

🧸 Sun in 5th house/Leo Sun: Your main focus will be on children in general. If you have family and/or friends with children, you might socialize with them more, watch how they interact with their parents and other children, and imagine what your own child will be like. You might use different apps to visualize what your baby will look like. You might also enjoy your life more and consider pregnancy to be one of the best period of your life (ofcours, if Sun is well aspected)

🧸 Sun in 6th house/Virgo Sun: Your main focus will be on your physical health and your daily responsabilities. You might pay more attention to your diet during your pregnancy. Developing a relationship with your doctor/midwife will become crucial for you during pregnancy. Delegating tasks to other people might prove to become more difficult, as you want to feel like your in control of everything that happens in your life. You might resort to light physical activity to manage stress

🧸 Sun in 7th house/Libra Sun: Your main focus will be on your relationship with your partner. You will make choices according to both your opinion and your partner's opinion. You might allocate more time to pampering yourself and doing feminine activities such as getting your nails done, doing your makeup, finding new clothes which are both fashionable and fit your new body, going for photoshoots in flower fields

🧸 Sun in 8th house/Scorpio Sun: Your main focus will be on the life-altering transformations you'll be facing as your pregnancy progresses. Your life will likely change A LOT after you find out you are pregnant. You might become more private with the people around you, feeling like you have to protect yourself from those who ask too many questions and/or potential stalkers. You will pay more attention to the sex life with your partner. If Sun is afflicted, you might develop a deep fear of having a miscarriage

🧸 Sun in 9th house/Sagittarius Sun: Your main focus will be on travelling and acquiring wisdom. You will likely become more optimistic and generous during the pregnancy. As the Sun rejoices in this house, you might start thinking about the meaning of life, with its different philosophies and religious beliefs. If there are other indicators in the Childress persona chart, this placement can indicate getting pregnant in college (same goes for Moon in 9th house)

🧸 Sun in 10th house/Capricorn Sun: Your main focus will be on your career, status and public recognition during your pregnancy. You might become more popular only for the fact that you're pregnant and glowing. The father of the baby will likely become more important to you during the pregnancy. If Sun is afflicted, you might focus more on your career to the detriment of your baby

🧸 Sun in 11th house/Aquarius Sun: Your main focus will be on your wishes and aspirations, your community and your friend group, but also on eccentric matters. You might develop an interest in the latest baby gadgets, which will make your life easier after pregnancy. If you're an introvert, you might feel more extroverted during pregnancy or vice versa. You will likely post more frequently on social media or start a new page/channel focused on the pregnancy

🧸 Sun in 12th house/Pisces Sun: Your main focus will be on your spirituality, escapism methods and night life. You might have premonitory dreams about your baby, such as finding the gender of the baby, their feelings during the pregnancy or even their past life. You might also intuitively know your baby's real due date, regardless of the one mentioned by the doctor. If Sun is well aspected, you might quit addictions for good, not just during the pregnancy. Likewise, if Sun is afflicted, you might cope with potential problems during pregnancy by starting (or continuing) bad habits, which end up becoming addictions

Miscellaneous obs

🍼 Sun/Moon aspecting asteroid Child (4580) or Miminko (60000) indicates having a strong connection with your baby during pregnancy

🍼 Asteroid Juno (3) aspecting Ascendant indicates that the first child will be very similar to the spouse. If the aspect is positive (sextile, trine), the child will inherit the positive traits of the spouse. If the aspect is negative (opposition, square), the child will inherit the negative traits of the spouse. For conjunction, it will be both positives and negatives. This aspect can point out to the relationship between the child and the spouse too (positive aspect = great relationship; negative aspect = strained relationship)

🍼 Planets conjuncting one of the angles = a significant change is likely to occur in your life during pregnancy

planet conjuncting ASC - change regarding the self

planet conjuncting IC - change regarding what's familiar & home environment

planet conjuncting DSC - change in an one-on-one relationship

planet conjuncting MC - change in reputation & professional matters

[cosmousee]

𝓖𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓦𝓱𝓲𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓕𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓢𝓹𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓽 😇💌

Hey everybody! I am back from yet another hiatus (I will stop doing that I swear).

Hope you all are doing well~

Today’s reading is on gentle whispers from spirit. Now it can be anyone, the universe, the spirits, the Gods, your ancestors, whatever you believe in. Just call upon them while choosing your pile and yeah~

Lets get on with the reading, and remember whatever doesn’t resonate, pass it on<3

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡ Pile 1

Dang, pile 1, it feels like you’ve been going through so much and for a while now. Like it feels like a never ending cycle of some shit which is always going on and you can’t catch a break.

You might feel you got a breather for one day and you feel that nice, we had a good day today and then your day ends up with something or the other happening and then you’re in that cycle all over again.

Feels so much like my past month, so, bestie, I really get you.

There’s so much, you might have been in constant fight or flight mode, having to put so much effort and time and your mind in order to do a task. And ofcourse life doesn’t let you do one task at a time, its constant multitasking and its not easy.

Having to source your own energy to sustain yourself every. Single. Day. oh my god. Even as I type this I can feel the tiredness, but still the zeal to get the work done, the fire in your hearts, that whatever happens you want to do the things you love. This might be a clash between many of your own passion projects, or you know just even life, that you find time to work on your art, your story, your side business and then also find time to do laundry.

Its been constant juggling, constant heartache, headache, you name it, for a while now.

The very first image spirit showed me was a fireplace. You know those ones you sit in front of during winters, sipping a cup of hot chocolate, or coffee or whatever.

Spirit wants you to realise that you’ve done enough, you’ve spent enough. Its time for you to take rest, take a breather. And chill for like a good few days. Of course hard work has its own place, but that does not mean that you’ll burn yourself out.

And if you feel that you know, you HAVE to toil away at the thing only then you’ll achieve things in life, my dear, please take a seat, and a blanket and your choice of drink (its fine if its alcohol because I totally get it–but responsible consumption).

This past week, spirit got real with me and went, “You’re not supposed to struggle so much, you’re not supposed to be uncomfortable so much.” They were teaching me that when things get difficult, sometimes it’s best to just remove yourself from that situation and go to a better place. Its as simple as saying ‘I deserve better’ and then just yeet yourself from there. I know its easier said than done, and I've fought with spirit alot on this, and I still do. Because even I feel that you gotta go past the uncomfortable to grow.

But sometimes the discomfort is there just to teach you that there is comfort if you just ask for it, if you just look for it. If you just say that you deserve to live comfortably it’ll be there. You’ll just have to take that decision, make that call, ask for help and you shall receive it. And you’ll receive it in such intensity and you'll be so dumbfounded that why were you suffering so much.

I yap alot and I dont stop here you might have to read so many things and just–yeah. On the ending note I just want to say that spirit really wants you to take care of yourself, pushing yourself to achieve things is one thing, but spirit doesn’t want you to live in extremely uncomfortable situations. You’re their literal baby and I know they can be difficult sometimes, to teach you things, but they always look out for you too. (I can feel my guides being like ‘told you so’, doesn’t change the fact that y’all get on my nerves so much)

Wish you well pile 1 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡

Pile 2

Pile 2, spirit is so so so proud of you, your journey, how far you’ve come.

They are so happy and so proud of the things you’ve done. And it feels like its literally everything, it can literally just be the way you’ve done your hair and they’re like “You’re doing amazing sweetie!” and they have their camera on and they’re recording you.

I mean in my head it feels like, you woke up, you are so tired, but you still made your bed before you leave for the day, and SPIRIT IS LIKE HOLY SHIT MY BABY MADE THEIR BED with literal tears in their eyes.

They see you, they acknowledge you and they are just in awe of you and what ever you are doing. It’s literally like you don’t have to be Alexander The Great or you know, do some out of the universe type of shit to get them to be proud of you.

Its just unconditional love and support. You defended yourself against someone who was being mean to you, and you felt a little bad about it?

I can literally see spirit, with their arms crossed, and they are nodding like “Exactly my child! This is exactly what you should do!”.

So spirit is with you, every, single, step of the way, remember that.

Also, they mean to tell you that there is greater happiness, greater contentment waiting for you if you open your heart to it.

You might as well just be happy where you are, and spirit has no problem with it. They’re just letting you know, that if you want and you need, just open your heart and there’s gonna be a whole new world for you.

(see I asked for gentle whispers and this might be the gentle part, and in reality they might be pushing the fuck out of you to go follow that path and drop signs left, right and centre. So I thought of putting this out there)

Im saying this because I had this imagery of a person just putting their hand on their heart and closing their eyes and just beams of strings emerge out of their heart. Your heart will tell you where to go if you listen to it and if you want it.

Spirit is being real as well, once you open your heart and many opportunities pour in and it’ll be hectic, it’ll be draining, it can feel as if you’ve been working the whole day and you just come back and you just sleep. Like you lay on the bed and in a second you’re out cold and this repeats every day. Because when you do things your heart desires it takes SO MUCH of your energy.

Okay so this can be sort of a confirmation for some of y’all as well who have listened to their heart and are on the path. Because you’re getting so tired you might feel that you’ve done something wrong.

You haven’t.

This will go on for a while till it settles. You might feel a bit sad that you don’t have much energy to put elsewhere or whatever. But it isn’t for long. Your spiritual team is always there cheering you on and being so very proud of you. Keep going and do well~ I am also so very proud of you cuties<3

Wish you well pile 2 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡

Pile 3

Dear pile 3, how long has it been since you’ve taken a slow, refreshing walk? When was the last time you’ve actually felt your thoughts were slow, when you could actually think instead of your thoughts going a hundred miles per hour?

Hold your horses guys.

Spirit is telling you to be gentle with yourselves, to “chill” as they just said. They’re telling you that life is not going anywhere, you may feel that just because. You may feel that because you’re trying to see where you are in reference to others.

But look at yourself, just at yourself, and your life. You’re at the right place my sweetheart, be in no hurry. There’s no rush. If you stop and you feel, you’ll get the cool breeze on your face, gently passing through the strands of your hair. You’ll smell the fresh grass, you’ll feel the cool air, the sun and you’ll be very content.

Give yourself a break. At least a short one.

I know realistically and practically you might have a proper job and you’ll be like “I HAVE A SPREADSHEET DUE TONIGHT AND YOU’RE TELLING ME TO CHILL?!”

And honestly, I get you, because even I have so many things due tomorrow…and I haven’t even started and its like 11:51pm at my place right now.

Its okay. Its fine even if you take a break for 5 minutes. But let it be a break. Let your brain rest. Treat it as your leisure time. And if you can take a longer break then even better.

Chill out, bake some cookies man, listen to music. Just doom scroll. Hustle is a joke, its a prank and its better to stay the fuck away from it. False urgency is NOT REAL.

Honestly, take a break and not just because of that. You’ll realise how much more productive you are after that. When I was doing my undergraduate in psychology, we had this concept of insight learning. Its basically that when you cannot figure out a solution, just let it be. Go do something else and your subconscious will have an answer ready in an instant.

So taking a break doesn’t mean you aren’t still working. Your brain will, in its subconscious. That is literally its job. So even though you are doom scrolling, your brain is working at it backend. You just have to convince your conscious brain that yeah this break is essential and anyways the backend is at its job right wink wink

Don’t be afraid to take your time, things will work out well for you. Don’t burn yourself out okay? It takes so much to get back on your feet once you get burnout. (been there done that way too many times).

Even if you feel this was unrealistic of them to ask you to take breaks, I hope you just try. Maybe start for like 3 minutes with a timer on and then if you feel it worked, then you can always increase it!

Wish you well pile 3 <3

That’s all I have for you today! Thank you so much for reading🎀🌻Please let me know what resonated I love hearing from y'all<3

[crescent-blades]

Kokushibō w/ Pregnant!S.O

Pairings⌇Kokushibō × Pregnant!Reader insert, ⌞Kokushibō and Reader are in a pre-established relationship, ie married⌝

Warnings⌇ Pregnancy, Labour & Birth

A/n⌇It's unclear what the canon implications would be if a demon were to successfully impregnate a human, but for the sake of this scenario, let's just imagine that the result is a healthy child who is half demon and half human.

𖤐ˎˊ˗Masterlist

  ̗̀ It had been a while since you and Kokushibo had been married. Honestly, he had never thought things would turn out this way—to marry someone was the last thing on his mind. Yet, here he was, making choices he never thought he would make.   

  ̗̀ The humans he met showed little potential. They lacked the skills needed to become strong, upper ranked demons. So, the idea of having a successor—a child of his own—began to take shape in his mind. He knew his child would definitely have immense potential and could likely be a successor to moon breathing.. so it wasn't a bad idea.  

  ̗̀The news of your pregnancy—well.. actually, it wasn't you who shared the news with him. It was Kokushibō who brought the news to you. 

  ̗̀It wasn't surprising though, having Kokushibō as your husband would be like having a walking, talking pregnancy detector around.  

  ̗̀I mean, he'd literally even know exactly when the sperm attached to your ova, all thanks to his see through world.  

  ̗̀You didn't even know that you were pregnant yet. It was just one day in, as you prepared for bed and arranged the sheets. Your husband approached you with his typical stoic expression. He gazed at you for a brief moment—  

"Hmm.. I see.."   

  ̗̀You’d brighten up at his presence, feeling happy yet a bit puzzled by his sudden, unusual behaviour. 

 "I can see.. 'life' developing inside you. How delightful.."   

  ̗̀Being your husband, Kokushibo would feel that it is his duty to be taking care of you, especially when you'd be carrying his child. So throughout your pregnancy, he'd make sure to take extra care of you, paying more attention to your needs.  

  ̗̀ Though it was definitely going to be difficult. Being a demon, he could only come out at night, which meant he couldn't be there for you through the day. This thought definitely made him feel uncomfortable. Hence, he would encourage you to stay with him in the infinity castle [separate from the rest of the demons] so he can take proper care of you.  

  ̗̀However, he'd know that being deprived of the sun could also be detrimental to your and your baby's health, so he'd make sure to always drop you off somewhere safe from time to time, likely in your parent's/relatives house. Making sure you are in safe hands.   

~Though knowing Muzan- now he'd definitely question your husband:  

"--A human woman?"

His voice carried a touch of curiosity, laced with a hint of amusement. "I entrusted you with one simple task, Kokushibo. Locate the blue spider lily and uncover the Ubuyashiki mansion. More than a century has passed, and yet you and the demons have not unearthed a single clue about either."    Muzan exhaled slowly, pacing around as he looked down at the upper one, who was kneeling in front of him, his head downcast as in a bow.   "And now you’ve chosen to play these petty games, and with a human at that? I expected much better from you, Kokushibo.."  

"I have no excuses to make, my lord.. Indeed, I fell in love with a woman, a human.. and now I have sworn to protect her and my offspring."   "However.. I assure you.. my lord.. that my decisions shall not interfere with my responsibilities.."   

  ̗̀➛Typically, Muzan would never permit his demons to make such significant decisions; however, he made an exception for your husband.

 Throughout your pregnancy, your husband would keep a close eye on you. Make sure you are in good health, at all times.   

  ̗̀Have any questions about the baby? There's no need to go to the doctor, just ask Kokushibo, and he'll tell you everything. The baby's weight, health. Everything.

  ̗̀He would advise you to not strain yourself too much, urging you to rest, understanding that you are in a vulnerable state. If you found yourself trying to carry something, he'd silently snatch it from you. Try to walk too much, and he'd silently just pick you up and place you on the bed. 

 "--You.. ought to rest.. my dear.." 

  ̗̀As for your strange cravings, he'd definitely consider them strange and, rather, amusing. Sure, he has dealt with a pregnancy before, and he is aware that his-ex wife may have had cravings too. But his knowledge was very limited due to the presence of many servants, as well as his memories failing him over the years. However, witnessing your cravings firsthand is definitely.. something.          

"Dear, could you bring me some mochi with chilli sauce?" "Some ice cubes with ketchup?"     

  ̗̀Each day your craving got weirder and weirder, which both entertained and concerned him, even though he could tell that nothing was wrong with you.

  ̗Still, as much as it had worried him, Kokushibo had always managed to somehow fulfil your requests, always bringing the strange foods you sought.         

  ̗̀At first, when he presented you with these unusual cravings, his expression remained stoic, devoid of any visible emotion. However, it wouldn't be long before you noticed him, softly chuckling to himself at your bizarre requests. Observing you curiously if you truly enjoyed them.      

  ̗̀There were times, however, when he'd stop you from binge eating too much food, which he considered unhealthy. Surpisingly, he was gentle while urging you to try something healthier.      

"We have some fruits.. I can make a salad for you.. if you wish.."       

  ̗̀ Of course, you are pregnant, so your body is going through many changes. You'd find yourself battling those horrible cramps along with persistent back pain, nausea, and those frustrating headaches.. It was difficult to even work effectively because of your fatigue.  

  ̗̀➛ In that case, Kokushibo would notice your discomfort immediately.    

"...your.. 'pregnancy'.. has made your body go through many changes.. the child grows.. as well your body.."   

  ̗̀ He would address you in a gentle manner, speaking to you in an "as a matter of fact" tone. His six eyes locked on you with a tender gaze, inspecting you thoroughly, making sure you were okay..   

 "As of now.. your muscles are stiff, and tight.. Here.. let me ease the pain for you-"    

  ̗̀He would speak softly, his voice deep as he carefully positioned you on your side, beginning to work on your back. His big, sturdy hands were surprisingly tender, applying just the right amount of pressure to alleviate your discomfort. He already knew the exact areas where you were experiencing pain, moving his hand and gently kneading those areas with the base of his hands and thumbs, working up and down your back.     

  ̗̀When it comes to choosing a name for the child, Kokushibo can be extremely thoughtful. He'd find/make a name with a deep meaning, one that would embody the meaning of "strength" or "excellence" [kind of like his own father].           

  ̗̀During labour, he'd mostly leave it up to the midwife and you female relatives, as he did not wish to intrude or make you feel uneasy, believing that childbirth was women's business.

  ̗̀ Though he would occasionally offer words of encouragement, urging you to remain strong and reassuring you that all would be well. While you were in labour, he would remain outside, pace around as you brought new life into the world.  

[miyukisu]

There Ain't No Man Like You .ᐟ

❤︎ | People normally talk it out when they have a feud with someone, but you two? You decide to bury the hatchet by showering together (2.2k wc) ╰ feat. toji fushiguro (jjk) x afab! reader

kinktober entry no. 4 | kinktober masterlist

tags - shower sex, co-workers, reader is also an assassin, toji barges in while reader is showering, enemies to lovers, p in v, p*rn with plot, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, profanity

minors do not interact

Toji Fushiguro was—to say the least—insufferable.

He was a deadbeat dad with a gambling problem. To be fair, it's nothing new in your line of work. But for some reason, he was downright intolerable.

Perhaps it was the fact he'd look down on you or how he'd seem so condescending with your every move despite being assigned on the same task together.

Or maybe it's because you can't admit that you're down bad for the man.

It could very well be any of those choices. Only God knows at this point.

Of course, as your handler, Shiu knows all this. He knows what goes on between his two favorite contract killers. You'd think he'd be smart enough to separate the two of you by now. But, no.

Shiu was either incredibly dense or the biggest asshole on the planet... well, probably only second to Fushiguro. But that's besides the point.

The job in question was particularly difficult. You admit that if you did it alone—it would have been too risky. But throughout the mission, you seriously wondered if it was better to take the risk or endure the experience that is to be Toji's partner.

For an old man, he was stubborn and uncooperative. At his age he should've learned some manners, but it seems that it has flown over his head.

It didn't make it any better that the mission dragged on forever to the point that the two of you had no choice but to go to an inn for temporary shelter since traveling at this hour wasn't viable.

Add to that the fact that it was a small dilapidated inn with rooms too small for comfort. But it's not like you had any choice. As much as you'd loathe to be in such proximity with that man—a shower and a good night's rest were too tempting to pass up.

────────────

Your eyes scanned the room—not that there was a lot to look at. There was a lamp that barely lit up, a chair that surprisingly had its 4 legs intact, and a single bed. The last one is a problem for future you to handle. For now, you were in dire need of a shower.

Huffing your chest out, you started rummaging through the items in your bag. "I'm gonna shower first."

"And why?" he asks, standing right behind you.

"As you can see, I'm covered in more dirt, sweat, and blood than you."

He scoffs at your reasoning. "Shit. I wonder why."

You stand up with the necessary stuff for a shower in your hands. "Don't be such an ass. It's the least you can give me for being so fucking difficult today."

As you turned to face him, Toji had his hands crossed over his chest with an unamused expression on his face. "I did most of the work," he gruntled.

"Don't care," you say before walking past the man and into the shower. You made sure to swing the door hard enough to get your point across. But you soon regret that decision once you realize how weak the door was. A little more and it would've definitely came off the hinges.

"Shit," you whispered to yourself. You may have kept the door in place, but you fucked up the lock. But whatever, he won't come in for as long as you're in there. And boy did you plan on being in there for quite some time. He can consider it as your way of retaliating against his behavior.

────────────

As you took your sweet time in the shower, Toji was forced to wait on the bed. His leg restlessly bounced as he lost patience. It would have been fine if there was any form of entertainment in this goddamned room, but the most interesting thing was the line of ants climbing up the drab wall.

It pissed him off even more to hear you singing your heart out like he wasn't waiting for his turn, covered in all sorts of disgusting shit.

He groaned to himself. Toji was done waiting for you. To hell with it, he thought as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom.

Toji knocked once—hard. It was enough to bust the door open. Much to your dismay, the inn didn't allot any budget for shower curtains. So when the door flung open, your eyes met—except his eyes quickly trailed down to forbidden places.

"You fucking pervert!"

He held his hands up. "Hey, it's not my fault the door's made out of paper."

"How about you stop looking?" you say frantically while trying to cover yourself up.

A small smirk forms on his face. "Relax. It's not like I haven't seen a woman's body before."

"Well. You haven't seen mine."

"And? You think you're special or something?"

For some reason, his words struck a chord in you—a particularly painful one. You found yourself turning a bit to the side, away from his gaze. "Just get the fuck out."

"Nah. You're taking too long," he retorts.

You were about to say something back, but as you turned to face him again, you were met by his bare form.

"H-how the fuck did you get naked so fast?" You desperately tried to suppress the blush that was threatening to spread across your face as you tried to look away.

"A talent of mine I guess."

His warmth radiated off of him and you felt it getting closer and closer. Toji Fushiguro was really about to shower with you right now and you weren't doing anything to stop it.

You shielded your chest with your arms as he stood behind you.

"Move a bit will you? I need to get under the shower head too." He nudges you forward a tiny bit, but you stand your ground.

"Quit it. I need to rinse off too."

A deep sigh falls from his lips. He decided to move forward himself. You watched as he planted his hands against the wall of the shower, caging you between his thick forearms.

"Don't get too close. I'll get dirty again."

A soft and unexpected chuckle erupts from him. A tingle runs down your spine as you feel his breath against your face.

"Then I'll clean you up," he whispered seductively.

It left you speechless. Normally you'd have a sassy comeback for him, but nothing. You were like a prey caught in a trap—a trap that you so willingly walked into.

Something began poking you from the back. It was warm... suspiciously warm.

"Toji..."

"Yes?" His breath still lingered close to your neck.

"I swear to God... if that's your dick poking me—I'll punch you in the fucking face."

"He's just a little excited. Can you blame him?"

"I thought you said I wasn't special?"

Again, he chuckled. A pair of hands held on to you by your shoulders. His touch was gentle—a stark contrast to his usual rough demeanor. "Aww... did you believe me? I hope I didn't hurt your feelings."

"Fuck you."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?"

You felt so pathetic for not having a response to that. But he was right. You would like that. It was just your pride getting in the way.

His grip slightly tightened as he turned you to face him. The same shit-eating grin was plastered across his annoyingly good-looking face.

"I knew it," he muttered before leaning down and catching your lips in a searing kiss. The water continued to run down your bodies as your mouths collided passionately.

You expected it to be rougher than this, but there was an unexpected tenderness in his touch. One of his hands snaked its way to your nape while the other kept going lower and lower.

He wasted no time, cupping your breast and massaging it between his fingers. He rolled, pinched, and twisted the sensitive bud—earning a wanton moan from you. It inflated his ego having your breathless sounds pour into him like that.

Toji made sure to trace your curves while still kissing you like a depraved man. Your knees buckled as soon as he got to your clit. He rubbed it lowly with the pad of his thumb. That was the only time he pulled away from the kiss. Perhaps he wanted to see how his fingers would eventually pump in and out of you.

Though, he made sure you were ready for it. He diligently saw to it that he was touching you in all the right places, making you wet enough for him.

His smirk got bigger and bigger the louder your moans became. He didn't feel sorry at all for whomever was in the room next door. The walls had to be thin after all.

"I like it better when these are the kinds of sounds that come from your pretty little mouth."

"S-shut up."

"Haha, still a feisty little thing even while I got my fingers buried in your cunt? What a sight."

Those words had you dripping effortlessly. His long fingers easily reached your g-spot. Every drag against your walls brought you closer and closer to an orgasm.

"Shit... I'm so close."

"Wanna cum, hm?" he asks and you nod.

"Gotta beg for it though. After what you put me through, I think it's only fair."

"You're such an asshole."

In response, he brings back his thumb—rubbing your clit and fucking you with his fingers at the same time. You moan like a bitch in heat, quickly losing every ounce of resolve left.

"Fuck. Fine. Please... please just let me cum," you finally begged.

"Wasn't so hard, was it?"

It didn't take long for him to bring you to climax. He had you cumming on his digits as soon as you dropped your pride for him. He was even nice enough to let you ride it out, only pulling out once your fluttering came to a halt.

You watched how he popped his fingers in his mouth, tasting you so shamelessly with a smile on his face.

He took that same hand and gripped the underside of your thigh, lifting it up. "Gotta have my fun now," he mutters.

Looking down, you see him at his hardest. His tip was angry and leaking, ready to find reprieve in you. He figured it would be amusing to drag it along your slit—slap your clit a few times for good measure.

Then, you whined.

It was music to his ears.

"What? Can't wait to have cock in you?" Toji chuckled at you.

"Well then, sorry for teasing you. I hope this," he says, plunging in half of his length. "makes up for it."

You yelp at the sudden intrusion. It wasn't painful, but his girth was something you had to accustom yourself to.

"Mhm, take your time," he cooed.

You hated how gentle he was being right now. You hated it because it made it harder for you to stay mad at him.

Bracing yourself, you held on to him—fingers digging into the muscles of his back. "You can move now..."

And he does. Toji pushes in his entire length, dragging it out slowly and shoving it back inside hard. The way his dick curved up hit all of your sweet spots. At this point, it was impossible to keep quiet.

He wanted to go even faster and deeper. Toji grabbed your other leg, lifting it up and making it so that you had both legs wrapped around his torso.

The large man fucked into you mercilessly. You could cum on his cock 2 or 3 times—he didn't care. He just wanted to reach his own climax.

"Fuuuck," he drawled out. "Haven't felt this in a while."

And it showed. Any semblance of softness you may have seen earlier was gone. What's left was his carnal desire and need.

He fucked you like his life depended on it. You could say he was as desperate as you are.

"Shit. Don't tighten up like that... I'll bust too early."

Nails scratched thin red marks all over his back. It was almost funny to think he was getting more marked up here than he did back in the mission.

Still, those were his battle scars.

For a second time—though it already felt like more than that—you came. A warm sensation flooded you from your core all the way out to your limbs. It was mind-numbingly good—the way he fucked you.

"You came huh? Greedy woman... cumming so much while I haven't."

"Then cum... you oaf."

The smile crosses his lips again at the nickname. "Fine. Take it all then."

Toji powered through the last few thrusts even though he felt his knees giving it out from the sheer sensation of it all. Hot spurts of cum painted your walls.

Heavy breathing along with the running water filled the room. Toji pulled out, letting some of his seed drip down your thigh.

"Guess we have to clean up again, huh?"

©miyukisu do not repost/reupload/translate any of my works on other platforms

╰ author's note This took... too many revisions... too many for my liking...

[riptidekissesblog]

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓhey girlies, ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓv

as promised, here are 15 things that helped me seriously level up. I'm so sick of seeing the same things on every blog post and it's just like stay hydrated!!

try new hobbies until you find ones that bring you the most fufillment!! (examples to try: art, crochet, writing, making music, photography, gardening, cooking)

find YOUR exercise, whether it's yoga, pilates, sports, weight training, dance. I can't stress this enough.

I know meditation seems cliche, but it really can help clear your mind and bring balance. a tip that helps me is to visualize your tongue relaxing, almost like it's floating. that will help silence your mind so you can fully surrender.

pay attention to your diet. so much of what we eat is processed junk food. try to eat 80% Whole Foods and 20% processed foods. meal prepping really helped me also not buying junk food at all. this step seems difficult but i promise there is a healthy alternative to most of your favortite foods. remember, you are what you eat ;)

when it comes to beauty, the simpler the better (its also cheaper!!) some things I would invest in would be coconut and castor oil because they can be used on everything. also a gel nail kit and a good electric razor for your face. the more you obess on every detail the more it will consume you. you are enough and don't need a million beauty hacks. (also sun-in works nice for natural highlights)

no company is better than bad company, don't accept low-vibe behavior from ANYONE

make an it girl playlist with upbeat songs from rihanna, lady gaga, katy perry, marina, and other 2000s hits. I don't know what it is but those songs will bring out the inner goddess in you.

don't compare yourself to anyone!!!! everyone is on their own journey, focus on yours. everyone has their own energetic signature. be yourself. stop wanting to impress others.

listen to binaural beats if you have blocked chakras or want to attract wealth, love, luck etc). they're also super relaxing.

give up all your limiting beliefs, anything is possible if you want it bad enough. it's gotta be someone, why couldn't it be you?

go with the flow, things happen for a reason. if you find yourself regretting a decision, remind youself that the other choice may have been worse, how do you know??

take ownership for your problems, the only one to blame is yourself. i am a firm believer that you can change anything you don't like about your reality. you deserve happiness.

live in the moment. ask yourself are you enjoying the moment, if not, what can you change. if you can't change anything, LEAVE. protect your peace girl!

stop insecurity from the root. you don't love yourself becuase you haven't worked on yourself. you are a garden that needs watering. i promise, once you complete this list you will love the person you become.

surround youself with love. do every task out of love. speak every word from a loving place. love everyone. we are all human.

i really hope this helps. this list came from YEARS of self-work. i created this blog so girls can learn how to become their most healed beautiful selves.

love you girlies!! ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

[lostyesterday]

I’ve been thinking about disabled protagonists in Star Trek recently, which got me thinking about Seven of Nine. It’s interesting because I’m almost certain the writers of Voyager did not intend to write a disabled character, but they ended up accidentally writing one anyway, and one whose arc I find surprisingly compelling as a disabled person myself. Seven is dependent on electronic devices both inside her body and external to it in order to survive and she requires regular medical treatment and specialized adaptations to her environment in order to function. She is absolutely canonically disabled (as are all the other ex-Borg in Star Trek), even if the writers probably weren’t aware of that. The major reason that I think Seven’s arc resonates with me so much is because it reflects a deep tension between independence and dependence that is a fundamental and complex part of so many disabled people’s lives.

To be disabled is to be deeply aware at all times of your own dependence on external things (such as wheelchairs, canes, medications, etc.) and other people. At the same time, to be disabled is to also be deeply aware of the societal standards of independence and self-sufficiency you are constantly failing to live up to. You cannot do things that people are “supposed” to be able to do independently. You need help for basic tasks, and you have no choice but to trust that these external supports you are dependent on will not suddenly disappear, causing you to be unable to participate in society at all. It’s difficult to express to someone who hasn’t experienced it how much being disabled forces someone to consider their own level of dependence and independence constantly, how it becomes a deep part of one’s identity and can often be a source of trauma.

Seven’s arc on Voyager is often focused on the nature of individuality, but it is interesting how often “individuality” becomes a stand-in for independence. Seven’s disability makes her deeply dependent on the crew and resources of Voyager for survival. She could theoretically leave and use her own skills to do maintenance on her implants and install an alcove somewhere to keep herself functioning, but it would be a great risk, and her safety would be constantly in doubt. At the same time, Seven hates this dependence. She tries to rely on other people as little as possible, hating her need for the Doctor to diagnose issues with her implants and refusing to ask for help until she has no other choice. She hates this dependence because she sees it as challenging her ability to become a complete “individual” who is able to make her own autonomous choices. She hates this dependence because it forces her to rely on other people who could at any time abandon her or abuse their power over her.

So it’s far less frightening to pretend this dependence doesn’t exist, to hide it even from herself. Seven’s arrogance in her own abilities, her focus on her intellect and vast knowledge and superior physical abilities are in many ways genuine, especially early on. But at what point does this confidence in her own abilities – this reassurance that she is smart enough and strong enough to control her own destiny and be a true individual – become a coping mechanism to deal with the reality of her dependence on objects and people outside of her direct control?

Seven is told often by members of the Voyager crew that being an individual who makes her own choices and decisions is what she should strive for. And at the same time, those same people often exert control over her, attempting to restrict her autonomy. Janeway or the Doctor tell her that they know better than her what her needs are – that being an individual only goes so far. Seven’s anger at this contradiction is one of my favorite parts of her character, partially because it captures a similar feeling of anger deep inside me when I think about the ways society constantly pressures disabled people to maintain standards of independence impossible to live up to while at the same time deeply restricting our autonomy and freedom.

In the episode “Imperfection”, Seven says that what she wants most is to be useful. To be useful is to be a valuable part of society – someone who is self-sufficient and talented and certainly not deeply dependent on other people for basic survival. To be disabled is to have society constantly demand that you be useful, that you be independent and strong and never let your disabilities limit you. And at the same time, to be disabled is to discover over and over that you can never be that fully autonomous, fully functional human being seen as ideal in society. No matter what you do – no matter how far you run from the truth – it’s an impossible reality to escape.

[essektheylyss]

I think Orym is a fascinating character in a way that is often underappreciated, because he is fundamentally a soldier, he was trained as a soldier, and that's... not a bad thing? It has no moral indication, and certainly doesn't imply that Orym is going dark. In fact, in the current circumstances, Orym acting as a soldier is very important and may actually get them through this in one piece.

I do feel that this aspect of his character is frequently approached in the fandom as an afterthought or even swept under the rug, or flat out viewed as a flaw to be overcome (especially given the overall landscape of military conflict in the real world), but being a trained soldier is not inherently indicative of specific morality or ideology. I think it's a judgment that also gets levied against paladins, because, much like any organized forces in fantasy are equated with modern militaries, fantasy worship is equated with Christianity (sometimes in the guise of 'organized religion' with all of its problematic connotations). It's incredibly black and white, and it doesn't fundamentally make sense in much of Exandria, but in this case especially.

You cannot fundamentally map the Tempest Blades onto any real life military, because the task of the Tempest, and Ashari culture as a whole, is protection against both extraplanar threats and also the malicious or misguided intentions of those on the Material Plane trying to fuck with the elemental planes. This is distinctly different even in universe from, for instance, Caleb, who was trained as an assassin in the name of nationalism, or Yasha, who was trained to be a leader in the name of tribalism.

And these two threats that the Ashari are tasked with resisting are both frequent, credible, and existential! Failing at this task is liable to have major sweeping repercussions for the rest of Exandria! It is highly probable that a soldier with Orym's training is expected to need to make incredibly difficult decisions in defense of the common good at more than one point in their life—decisions that would make every person who laughs at the premise of the trolley problem shit their pants.

And crucially, Orym wants his friends to get out of this. He has in fact already promised his entire life to ensure that they do, because he also fundamentally needs them to be able to do what they came for, without hesitation, because the singular mandate that he has devoted himself to is protecting the Material Realm from extraplanar threats, and regardless of the fact that the rest of them do not have the same training, that is also the task that the Hells have chosen.

If Nana Morri can get the Hells out in one piece, regardless of what choices they make, then their personal risk doesn't matter. I imagine that Orym isn't going to tell them that, because given the scope of the threat, there's not necessarily a guarantee that Morri can make that happen, so the rest of the Hells have to make the choice themselves to take the risk and trust that the others have their backs. And in the end, if Orym has to live with that no matter which way fate plays out, he will. He's already had plenty of practice.

They're at war, and that's how soldiers operate. Because when they're behind enemy lines, it's the only way missions get completed and they have a chance of making it back alive.

[atinyslittleworld]

Remember Me

liukang!san x kitana!reader

Summary: After reshaping the timeline to protect Earthrealm, San, now a god, loses his lover, Y/N, who is reborn in the Netherrealm without memories of their past. During the Mortal Kombat tournament, they reunite, with Y/N feeling an inexplicable connection. After a version of her from another timeline reveals their history, they vow to rediscover their love and build a new future together.

Genre: mortal kombat universe, fantasy, romance, drama

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none of that I know

a/n: it might be my deluluness but whenever i see mk11 liu kang is like i see san

In the vast realm of the Elder Gods, where time and space intermingled in the delicate dance of creation, San stood as a figure of great power and responsibility. Once a mere mortal under the guidance of Raiden, he had ascended to become the Fire God, his strength forged in the flames of countless battles. With the defeat of Kronika, the previous Keeper of Time, the mantle had been passed to him. It was a role that demanded both wisdom and restraint, for to wield control over time was to hold the fates of all realms in his hands. And so, San accepted the burden, knowing that the future of Earthrealm and beyond depended on his actions.

With Kronika's Hourglass, San set to work, carefully crafting a new timeline. The process was intricate, requiring precision and an understanding of the delicate balance between the realms. He reshaped destinies, altered fates, and gave new paths to those he held dear. Among them was Y/N, the woman who had captured his heart in a previous life. In that timeline, their love had been strong, a bond that had defied the odds of war and strife. But in the new reality San forged, Y/N’s fate was far removed from the life they had once shared.

In this new timeline, Y/N was born into the dark and treacherous Netherrealm, a realm known for its cruelty and corruption. She was no longer a simple woman of Earthrealm; instead, she was reborn as a princess, the youngest daughter of Queen Sindel, the formidable ruler of the Netherrealm. Alongside her older sister, Mileena, Y/N was raised in a world where power was everything, and emotions were a sign of weakness. The two sisters were groomed to be warriors, ruthless and unyielding, capable of ruling with an iron fist. Yet, despite her cold exterior, Y/N often felt a strange emptiness inside her, an inexplicable void that nothing in the Netherrealm could fill.

As San completed his task of reshaping the timeline, he was faced with a difficult choice. The power of the Hourglass was immense, but it was also corrupting. He had seen what it had done to Kronika, how the constant manipulation of time had twisted her mind until she could no longer distinguish right from wrong. Fearing that the same fate might befall him, San made the hardest decision of his life—he relinquished his power as the Keeper of Time. He chose instead to return to a simpler existence, becoming once again a mere god, one whose sole purpose was to protect Earthrealm by training its champions for the inevitable Mortal Kombat tournaments. Though he had given up the burden of time, the knowledge that Y/N no longer remembered him or the love they had shared weighed heavily on his heart.

When the time for the Mortal Kombat tournament arrived, San led Earthrealm’s finest warriors—Raiden, Kung Lao, Kenshi, and Johnny Cage—into the depths of the Netherrealm. The journey was perilous, for the Netherrealm was a place of eternal darkness, where the souls of the damned wandered restlessly and danger lurked in every shadow. As they entered the grand, shadowy palace of Queen Sindel, San’s heart raced when he caught sight of Y/N. Seated regally on an obsidian throne beside her mother and sister, she was a vision of dark beauty and power. Her gaze was cold, her eyes devoid of any recognition as they swept over the Earthrealmers with disdain.

San’s heart ached at the sight. Here was the woman he had loved, the one he had given up everything for, yet she looked at him as if he were a stranger. He had anticipated this moment, had known that in this timeline, Y/N would have no memory of their past together, but the reality of it was more painful than he could have imagined. Still, he held his emotions in check, knowing that he could not afford to let his personal feelings interfere with the mission. The balance of the realms depended on it.

As the days passed, San maintained his stoic exterior, focusing on his duties and guiding the Earthrealm warriors as they prepared for the tournament. Yet, every time he saw Y/N, his resolve weakened. He longed to reach out to her, to tell her the truth about their past, but he knew that doing so could unravel the delicate timeline he had crafted. The risk was too great, and so he remained silent, even as his heart yearned for the connection they had once shared.

One night, as San wandered the palace’s shadowy corridors in search of solace, he felt a presence approaching. It was Y/N. She moved with the grace and silence of a shadow, her dark robes flowing around her like tendrils of night itself. She stopped a few steps away, her gaze intense and filled with a strange, unspoken longing.

“Ever since you arrived,” she began, her voice soft but tinged with uncertainty, “I’ve felt something… strange. A pull towards you, an attraction I can’t explain. It’s as if my heart knows something my mind doesn’t.”

San’s heart clenched at her words. The bond they had shared in another life was still there, lingering beneath the surface, but he remained silent. He couldn’t bring himself to disrupt the timeline, not when so much was at stake. But as the days wore on, the situation grew more dire. Kung Lao, Johnny Cage, and Kenshi returned from a mission, battered and bruised. Kenshi had been blinded once again in this timeline, a cruel twist of fate that San had hoped to prevent.

Overcome with guilt and sorrow, San knew he could no longer keep the truth from Y/N. He sought her out, finding her alone in the palace gardens under the cover of night. The air was thick with the scent of night-blooming flowers, the only sign of life in the otherwise bleak realm. He approached her slowly, the weight of his burden clear in his eyes, and began to speak.

He told her everything—about their past lives, their love that had transcended time, and the sacrifices he had made to protect Earthrealm. He explained how he had created this new timeline, one where their paths had been cruelly separated for the greater good. Y/N listened in stunned silence, her eyes wide with disbelief and something deeper—recognition, perhaps. As San spoke, fragments of memories began to stir within her, memories of a life she had never known yet felt deeply connected to.

When San finished speaking, Y/N stepped closer, her hands trembling as she reached out to touch his face, her fingers brushing against his cheek as if to confirm he was real. “I remember… fragments,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion. “But I feel it in my soul. We were in love, weren’t we?”

San nodded, his eyes filled with sorrow and longing. “Yes, and we still are. But the price of protecting this realm was our separation.”

In that moment, as they shared a kiss filled with the bittersweet essence of love lost and found, a brilliant flash of light illuminated the garden. San pulled away, his eyes widening as he saw another figure materialize before them—another Y/N, one he recognized instantly. She was from the side timeline, the one he had erased to create the current reality. She stood there, a perfect reflection of the Y/N from this timeline, but with eyes full of recognition, love, and a deep, unspoken sadness.

The Y/N from the new timeline gasped, stepping back in shock. “Who… who is she?” she stammered, her voice trembling with disbelief.

San, torn between the love of two worlds, looked between the two women, his heart breaking. “She is you… from another timeline. A timeline where we were together.”

The two Y/Ns stared at each other, one filled with confusion, the other with a love so profound it had driven her to cross the boundaries of time itself. The Y/N from the side timeline stepped forward, her hand outstretched as she looked at San with a gaze filled with longing and acceptance.

“I’ve been searching for you… through every possible world, every possible time. I knew we would find each other again,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.

San stood frozen, caught between the past he could never reclaim and the present he had vowed to protect. The Y/N from the new timeline, still reeling from the revelation, felt a surge of jealousy and fear, emotions she had never experienced so intensely before.

“San…” she whispered, her voice breaking. “What happens now?”

San, his heart heavy with the weight of his choices, looked at both versions of Y/N. He knew that no matter what decision he made, someone would be hurt. But he also knew that love, in any timeline, was worth fighting for.

“You both are a part of me,” San finally said, his voice filled with emotion. “But this timeline… it is where I must remain. The balance of the realms depends on it. Yet, I cannot ignore the love that spans across time.”

He turned to the Y/N from the side timeline, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I will always cherish our love, but this is not our time. You must return to where you belong, to find peace in the world we shared.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, but she nodded, understanding the burden San carried. “I will love you across all time, San. Remember that.”

With a heavy heart, San watched as she began to fade away, her form dissolving into the ether, leaving behind only the memory of a love that had defied the boundaries of time itself.

The Y/N of the new timeline stood in stunned silence, her heart racing with a mixture of emotions—confusion, fear, and a growing sense of determination. She had just witnessed a version of herself so deeply in love that she had traversed the vastness of time and space, risking everything, just to find San again.

When the silence became too much to bear, Y/N took a deep breath and stepped closer to San. Her eyes, once filled with uncertainty, now burned with resolve.

“San,” she began, her voice steady but tinged with emotion, “I may not remember everything about us, but I saw how desperate she was, how much she loved you. She searched through all the timelines just to find you, just to tell you she loved you. And then… she left, because she knew deep down that she couldn’t stay if she didn’t belong here. She understood that staying would disrupt the balance of all the realms and all the timelines.”

San looked at her, a soft smile touching his lips. He could see the resolve in her eyes, the same strength and wisdom that had drawn him to her across so many lifetimes.

“I want to learn everything about us,” Y/N continued, her voice growing firmer. “I want to know the love we shared, the battles we fought, and the sacrifices we made. I need to understand why she was willing to give everything up, just for a chance to tell you she loved you. Because if she felt that strongly, then there’s something here… something worth fighting for in this timeline too.”

San felt a warmth spread through him, a sense of hope that had been absent since he first saw her on the throne. He took her hands in his, holding them gently as if she were the most precious thing in the world.

“We will discover it together,” San promised, his voice full of sincerity. “Our love has survived across timelines, and now, in this one, we have the chance to build something new. We’ll learn, we’ll grow, and we’ll forge a path that honors the love that transcended time.”

Y/N nodded, her heart swelling with a sense of purpose she hadn’t felt before. “I’m ready, San. Ready to walk this path with you, wherever it leads.”

In this timeline, they would not just survive—they would thrive.

[coralie-adams]

AI-Generated Unique Character Flaws

Here are Twenty AI-generated unique Character Flaws that can be used to create well-rounded, relatable characters with room for growth and development throughout your story. These flaws can add depth and realism to any fictional character.

Chronic Overthinker: Constantly second-guessing themselves and unable to make decisions without extensive analysis, leading to missed opportunities and frustration.

Pathological Altruism: So eager to help others that they neglect their own needs, often making situations worse because they can't say no.

Memory Obsession: Fixated on a past event, they often bring it up in unrelated contexts, making it difficult for them to move on or form new relationships.

Superstitious Behavior: Their reliance on superstitions dictates their actions, causing them to make irrational decisions that can lead to conflict or failure.

Emotional Mask: Always puts on a happy face regardless of their true feelings, leading to bottled-up emotions and eventual breakdowns or misunderstandings.

Compulsive Truth-Teller: Unable to tell white lies, they often hurt others' feelings or create awkward situations by always telling the unvarnished truth.

Phobia-Induced Limitation: A severe, irrational fear (e.g., of water, heights, or open spaces) that restricts their activities and interactions, creating obstacles in their personal and professional life.

Indecisive Perfectionist: Obsessed with making everything perfect, they struggle to complete tasks or make choices, often leading to missed deadlines and opportunities.

Self-Sabotaging: Subconsciously undermines their own efforts due to a deep-seated belief that they don't deserve success or happiness.

Attention-Seeker: Desperate for validation and attention, they often engage in risky or inappropriate behaviors to be noticed, leading to strained relationships and trouble.

Unyielding Stubbornness: Refuses to adapt or consider other viewpoints, leading to conflicts and missed opportunities for growth or collaboration.

Social Chameleon: Changes their personality to fit in with different groups, leading to an identity crisis and shallow relationships because they are never truly themselves.

Eternal Optimist: So optimistic that they fail to see or prepare for potential problems, leading to repeated failures and disappointments.

Compulsive Hoarder: Unable to let go of possessions, their living space becomes cluttered and unmanageable, affecting their quality of life and relationships.

Hyper-Critical: Overly critical of themselves and others, leading to strained relationships and a constant feeling of dissatisfaction.

Isolationist: Prefers solitude to the extent that they avoid meaningful relationships and miss out on social opportunities, leading to loneliness and social awkwardness.

Impulsive Generosity: Gives away money or possessions recklessly, often leaving themselves in financial difficulty and unable to sustain their own needs.

Nostalgia Dependent: Lives in the past, constantly reminiscing and comparing current situations unfavorably to their memories, hindering their ability to enjoy the present.

Reluctant Leader: Possesses leadership qualities but is afraid of taking charge, leading to frustration from peers who see their potential but also their refusal to step up.

Conflict Avoider: Goes to great lengths to avoid conflict, often at their own expense, leading to unresolved issues and a lack of assertiveness.

[prince-liest]

some recent thoughts on Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, and why even though I find Nie Mingjue very frustrating in the midst of his Baxia-induced anger issues, I think he’s also a pretty sympathetic character as a whole and it’s really understandable why he thinks the way he does

(as someone who ships 3zun and nieyao, and through the lens of “Jin Guangyao is my blorbo”)

I’ve seen a tendency to paint NMJ and JGY’s relationship in black and white in terms of who was fundamentally more in the right, which to be honest is not really the approach I take to fandom in general. to me the tragedy is that NMJ and JGY before JGY's casting-out had immense respect and perhaps even love (platonic, romantic, whatever) for each other. in the end, a lack of mutual understanding of each others' circumstances that could have otherwise eventually been overcome was driven, by bigotry, Jin Guangshan, and the Nie cultivation style, into becoming an insurmountable difference that eventually killed them both

NMJ definitely Did Not Get where JGY was coming from when JGY was making survival decisions and keeping secrets. he was simply not raised in a way where he ever even had to think about the types of choices that JGY has been forced to make since he was quite young. but at the same time, NMJ was a teenager raising his brother and his sect from a very young age and I think it's a disservice to his character to fail to acknowledge that his entire life he expected to die a young and horrific death, just like he watched his father die, and that this expectation deeply colors his approach to the world. JGY plays the long game. NMJ does not get to think about that, he just has to raise his brother, win a war, and try not to drive his sect into the ground before he kicks the bucket in a violent and gruesome manner. he does not have a choice about any of these things.

and said things are extremely difficult to do, especially as a teenager, which I think is a reflection of MDZS's whole thing where their entire generation is just traumatized by war and conflict and a dearth of genuine, honorable guidance and leadership, which leads to such fractures

but it's also a series of tasks that required the kind of attitude that Nie Mingjue develops, and that in combination with Baxia’s influence gives him this really immovable perspective on life that he just won't budge on with JGY. I think it’s really significant that when Jin Guangyao does regularly play Clarity for NMJ, they get along quite well. and I also think it's really understandable why NMJ is so stubborn and headstrong - he's had to fight his way through being sect leader and not take "no" for an answer, because what the hell else can a young, new leader do to avoid being taken advantage of? frankly even if he had taken up a bit of whatever guile Nie Huaisang didn’t hog from the Nie gene pool... why would he direct it towards self-preservation? he has no room for that kind of fear because he is going to be dead in a few years.

importantly as well, Nie Mingjue unjustly judges Jin Guangyao because he is unable to understand the context that JGY is coming from, but that same righteousness is the reason that he's the first person to have given Meng Yao a fair shake and rewarded his hard work and labor, and that matters a lot to Jin Guangyao and their relationship as a whole. you can’t really have one without the other unless you give Nie Mingjue time to grow up.

unfortunately, Nie Mingjue died his 20s, and was in his teens when the Sunshot Campaign began. look me in the eyes and explain to me what kind of behavior you expect from a 20-something with a magic rage sword.

[pixeldistractions]

Spring 2088.

You can know what you need to do on a logical level, but the courage to bring down that hatchet and chop a whole family in half? These boys knew nothing else but the four of them, together. It had been that way since they were toddlers. They fashioned this beautiful lie for them that looked like a family on the outside and was a festering wound on the inside, and now what could they do about it?

Leaving Colette, legally, wouldn’t be any more difficult than walking out the door. But to the boys, it would feel as much like a divorce as any. But that also wasn’t a reason to stay with their mom for another ten years. The idea of marrying her gave him hives. Staying in her house on her couch like a random cousin who came to visit made him bitter. He was a grown man who paid rent here, and he wanted to sleep in a bed. Was that too much to ask?

But not her bed, not for any amount of begging. No sex with that woman was worth the pit of dread he felt recently. He would put the boys to bed and tiptoe quickly past her room. He would anticipate her steps upstairs with the fear that she might try to come down and ask for it. Because then he would have to tell her, No, no thanks, no way. And Colette wasn’t a woman who liked to be told no. Her wrath would be huge enough to cause an explosion visible from space.

He shuddered to think of how badly it could have gone wrong, all over again. He was meticulous as anyone could be, but condoms break. As he found himself counting down the days to their boys’ eighteenth birthdays, the idea of starting all over again with her gave him shivers. He’d rather jump off a bridge, to be honest. And he wasn’t entirely sure he was being dramatic about that.

So something needed to change, but he didn’t dare start that conversation with Colette before he had a plan. First, he needed time to think, to fantasize even. Where would he live? How could they share custody? What might his life look like if he had his own decisions to make? Being single again, on his own again, making his own choices.

He hadn’t been very good at making his own choices in his youth. Case in point: knocking up Colette straight out of high school.

“Morning, Dad, time for school.”

But Jordan enjoyed fatherhood. Now, he did. But that didn’t mean Colette wasn’t right to be disappointed in him. At nineteen, he hadn’t been overjoyed at the task, and when they learned it would be twins, he just about shit a brick. She all but wrote him off for it, but his father encouraged him to try. And he did, here and there, before ultimately “flaking the fuck out” as Colette gently put it.

He didn’t bond with his boys truly until they were almost three years old. But now they were the best of buddies.

So, where to start? When he wasn’t tending to his boys, he was working and saving. And working more was fine by Colette. He gave her some of the money and she was happy.

And he was honestly happy to spend more time at work. Sharon had him building a shed kit to make into a wedding barn, with Ian as his helper. Jordan was no master carpenter, but they found a video to watch with some diagrams to follow, and it seemed easy enough to try. Ian was mostly useless, of course, but he and his twin sister had some wild ideas about social justice and environmentalism that was fun enough to pass the time. He could fetch a tool when asked.

His co-workers here were delightful all around.

Maybe one co-worker in particular was more delightful than the rest. His work often left him working outside, away from the rest of the crew. When it was chilly outside, Maria brought him warm treats. When it was hot outside, she brought icy lemonade. When he had no companions all day, she snuck out for a minute or two to keep him company. Today, she had a fresh hot coffee in a lidded cup.

“Can I have one, too?” Ian asked.

Maria smirked at him. “There’s more in the dining room. You can go get one yourself.”

So Ian hurried off to the dining room to fetch himself a cup of coffee, which surely he welcomed as an excuse to avoid his work. And Maria had Jordan all to herself for a moment, which perhaps she may have planned all along.

Maria had a crush on him. He wasn’t blind or stupid. So he had to be careful with her, because she was a widow and single mother and the most precious person on the planet. Irresponsible as Jordan may have been, he knew better than to jump straight from one woman to another. And Maria deserved better than that, anyway. Maria deserved so much more than he could ever give her. She didn’t need the absolute mess he would bring into her life.

If he were a good person, he wouldn’t have let this friendship run away from him like he had, leading her on. But he wasn’t a good person, he suspected, but a selfish one, because her friendship was something he craved. Her thoughtfulness, her compassion, her humor, her giggles, the way her curls bounced when she laughed… not just her curls, damn, her whole body bounced when she laughed! She was such a bright glow in his cold and rigid life.

So plans were being thought about, if not made. Maybe he was dragging his feet a little about the hard things that needed to be done.

But here was something he would have to learn eventually, and life would beat it into him until he did: life isn’t interested in waiting for you to be ready.

— “why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire” (1/6)

Next -> // WAYH #2 start // index

[georgiapeach30513]

Peach! Mrs. Pasta here...checking in for the second time in a few days!

Normally I just lurk in and smile to myself when I see your posts and banters with your followers. But tonight I just couldn't resist...

Ramen, bless him, is getting really good at the non-specific, vague-turnaround, deflective answers to personal questions! I'm impressed.

Also...Nobody keeps their hands more to themselves than Ramen does when he's around a lot of salty things. Is he on a low-sodium diet? Is that why he exercises such great self-control when it comes to these things? TBF, he's very gentlemanly when it comes to being around women, especially costars/colleagues.

I can see (most) people on here are either tired, upset, tired, over it, or a combination of both. I can understand that, especially for the mods that run these blogs. I notice that for a lot of people, separation of professional and personal for their favorite celebrity can be a difficult task. I don't blame anyone for feeling that way, it can be hard to "not think about THAT" when you just want to enjoy "THIS". I will say this though.

Something I have found time and again to be true, is that IF something/someone/someplace is meant for you, things will fall into place. If something is NOT meant for you, no matter what you do, things tend to fall apart. You can try and put it back together, but then something else falls. This has happened to me personally recently, where I was in a situation where I wanted to make something work because I thought I had no other choice and I didn't really want to rock the boat further and go searching for something else. Unfortunately, the more I tried, the more I compromised and kept on staying, the worse it got. I'd fix one thing, another would break. I'd get over one hurdle, another inconvenience would pop up. Finally, I decided to take matters in my own hands and started actually listening to what the universe was trying to guide me towards. It was very hard for me to do this, as I'm more of a logical/rational person, than a spiritual one (I don't really like reading signs or feeling energies to tell me what to do)...But I tried a different approach, and started asking the universe, "If this isn't right, what should I do?" And I would listen and wait, and then tangible things would happen, and then I started making different decisions and taking different approaches. Almost immediately, things started changing for the better. I'm in a much better place now (figuratively and literally).

Just some food for thought: Let things play out. They will. And hindsight is always 20/20. Think about it. I believe Anne's blog has a library that can be helpful for those interested. If all else fails, keep coming to Jen's blog where she posts stories, baking, and general hilarity to keep everyone's spirits up. You are truly a beautiful soul, Miss GeorgiaPeach! <3

Mrs. Pasta! Welcome back. Clearly, your presence has been much needed this past week. Which I do say that there is a reason one shouldn’t consume too much sodium. I suppose were all bloated, and now need to fast.

Ramen is quite smart. He’s playing it coy and vague, non-definite answers. He’s doing good, despite a quick facial change with some questions. It’s funny to watch.

For someone that is quite a gentleman and claims to love PDA his hands do seem quite to himself. But it is a family movie after all, wouldn’t want to be too obvious, I suppose.

I think a lot of people are tired, and more so tired of ongoing arguments that suck the life out of the fandom, much like an overly salted diet. So maybe it’s just the influx of salt that has everyone red in the face? But this is why I implore anyone to curate the space that you want. Filter tags, block blogs, unfollow blogs, create the space that you watch to see with personalities that jive well with your own.

The universe is quite a tricky lady. She usually makes way for things that are for you. Usually when you try to fit a square peg in a round hole, you’re met with resistance. You can sit there, and smile you’re doing it, but others around you will eventually be able to see that you are in fact creating a bigger problem with an impossible task. I’m glad you were able to get to a better place once you listened, and were aware that what you’re forcing isn’t for you.

I do think that hindsight is 20/20. There always seems to be something poking around that pops up at the last minute. Eventually things either fall into place, or you’ve created a big mess. @anneslibrary is a great well of information. And of course @annislittleshopofhorrors herself is a peach in her own right. You are a beautiful soul from the inside out as well, Mrs. Pasta. Take care, and never feel afraid to pop on by when you can.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I keep seeing these posts on my for you page, I really don't know why they are on my for you page because I definitely don't agree with their views, saying that rhaenyra doesn't care about baela because she sent her to patrol and keep an eye on kings landing even though she wouldn't let jace go and that she thinks jace is more important than baela.

Here's the thing though, politically and strategically speaking, jace is more important, and before people start screaming about me being misogynistic or some such nonsense, how can I say the male is more important than the female character blah blah blah, it's got nothing to do with their gender and everything to do with the fact that jace is the heir. Losing him would be a more politically damaging blow. I'd say the same if the roles were reversed and baela was the heir, in which case it should be jace that is sent in that scenario.

When you put yourself in rhaenyra's pov for making this decision, she needs to send someone to do that patrol, not to would be incredibly foolish. She can't go herself because as queen, she needs to be present in dragonstone, making decisions as events unfold, she can't be absent flying patrols. Rhaenys is already patrolling the gullet and helping enforce the blockade, an important task. Daemon is at harrenhall gaining support for rhaenyra and raising an army for her, also an important task. So the only two dragon riders she's got left are jace and baela. Sending jace, her heir, would again be really foolish, you don't unnecessarily risk your heir, so strategically, baela is just the more logical choice.

However, that doesn't mean that rhaenyra doesn't care about baela. There is a reason why she told baela to stay high and to not engage if she did see something, because she was concerned for baela's safety and obviously doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. It's also why rhaenyra looked upset when baela admitted that she wasn't all that high when she saw and chased down Cole, because she was worried for baela and honestly if that maester hadn't have interrupted I suspect baela might have gotten a bit of a telling off.

I think sometimes people forget that these characters are living in a medieval setting during a time of war. In our modern society it's easy to say I treat all my children equally, and good I would hope so, but these characters don't live in modern society, their societal norms and rules are different and when at war rhaenyra doesn't have the luxury of making decisions based on emotions. She has to think strategically and strategically you always protect your heir first. I'm sure rhaenyra would love to take all her remaining children, blood and stepdaughters alike, and wrap them up somewhere safe and far from the war effort. But she is queen and has to make decisions that give her and their side the best political advantage, sometimes that includes the difficult choice of which of her children to send on a potentially dangerous patrol. But that doesn't equate to rhaenyra doesn't care about baela.