#decided to post this here so that EVERYONE CAN SEE THIS MONSTROSITY.

[the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud]

........in celebration of the arcaea x phigros collab..........i guess........have this random ass crackship that i decided to come up with two days ago.......uh. yeah. hikageo let's gooooo i guesssssss

[anderii]

Hypnotic

I can't believe you have spent a year selling that rubbish. Catherine, or Cat as she insisted on being called was creating a scene again, Poppy her sister had work friend round to celebrate her first year at her job, well any excuse for a party. But Cat decided to pick a fight about the cloths they sold.

Those clothes are so demeaning to women I mean what's that latest Japanese import tat called Bimbot! It's just grose I have no idea why people would buy that junk, you would have to hypnotise and brain wash me to even get me in that shop.

Oh I could do that for you. Cat spun round to confront whoever had interrupted her in full rant. Hi I'm Olivia, and I own Peaches clothing. Do you have something against my shop?

Cat was flustered for a second, Olivias eyes seemed to burn straight into her but she had a light gentle smile that said trust me, it made Cat shudder slightly.

Well it's just they are demeaning, bimbo fashon, no woman should be expected to wear such ridiculous junk, I wouldn't ever be seen in any of it.

Oh I bet you would my dear Cat, Olivia almost purred her words were smooth and irresistible. I have a challenge for you, before I came to England I was a hypnotherapist working in a special hospital, helping people rehabilitate you could say. I bet you £100 I could get you to come into Peaches and try on some of our outfits.

Just sit and listen to me for 10 minutes if you manage the money is yours and if you don't we all get pictures of you as a bimbo girl, do we have a deal Cat?

Cat felt backed into a corner , what happened if she couldn't resist, but if she declined she would looked weak.

It's ok, Poppy said, Olivia has hypnotised us all at work at least once, you know, just for fun, it's relaxing and you feel so refreshed afterwards.

Cat sat facing, Olivia, why do you have your hood up? She asked.

To help you concentrate on my face, now all you have to do is look into my eyes and just listen to my voice, nothing else is important, the world carries on as normal just relax, breath in and when you breath out feel your body relax deeper, just my voice , just my eyes.

Think of a spiral in your mind, follow it down, the deeper you go the more relaxed you feel the, more relaxed you feel the deeper you go.

Cat was quite relieved to get the £100, easy money but she wasn't sure why everyone else was giggling.

When Olivia left she said see you in the shop on Saturday Cat, don't forget.I won't, Cat replied, but didn't think anything of it.

Saturday came, Cat went into work with Poppy, she didn't know why she just felt like, it, oh god the outfits were worse up close, so demeaning, so why did she want to wear one so badly, the thrill of being humiliated wearing the pink monstrosities had her heart beating fast.

Welcome to Peaches Cat, Olivias voice was like satin shall we start your makeover?

All the girls helped with dressing and makeup, and before the store was ready to open Cat resembled the Bimbot mannequin in the window, they took her outside and took lots of photos posting them on her social media.

The funny thing is girls. Olivia said to everyone, I left a trigger in Cats mind, if I say the words bimbo doll she freezes in place but inside she can think and remember everything, Cat was shocked she couldn't move and why was she here what was she dressed as oh god the hypnosis worked and now she knew Olivia had tricked her. Let's put her in the window for the day with the other mannequins suggested Olivia and everyone thought that was a great idea.

Cat spent the entire day in the window, no one gave her a second glance although inside she was screaming.

Closing time came, and Olivia walked up to Cat whispering in her ear, well done you make such a good dummy, you may think I'm here to free you but I am going to leave you here all night to learn your lesson, then maybe tomorrow I will let you go, it's a shame that when I do you won't remember anything about it untill we do the same thing again next weekend and every one after untill I get bored with you. Oh and don't think your sister or any one of the other girls will help, I have had them hypnotised for ages, that's why I have such a loyal workforce. Good night Cat, sweet dreams. The lights turned out the door locked everyone went home, except for the mannequin in the store window silently crying and begging for help.

[au-wannabe-the-very-best]

Okay so, I just stumbled upon the misplaced super train au, and I love it? I started a fanfic on AO3 that's sorta like this -the depo workers- but this feels so wonderful and wholesome! I want to consume it with all my being! (((: I love this idea, and I can't wait to see where it goes from here. I do wonder though, what is Ingo and CO's reaction with Adaman? I can only imagine it's a bit into 3 months after they land, and Adaman finally decides it's safe to check out and just, meets this whole ?clan? of people living in the mountains? With Pokemon he's never even heard of in the clan legends? I just like to think his mind would be blown over and over. Or maybe there is a post with him in it, and I simply missed it. That would suck-

Oh Adaman would absolutely be blown away. And he is absolutely the person who got closest to figuring out where this weirdo clan came from— perhaps he's even the one to make Big Mouth Cameron panic and say they're from another world entirely.

Since Adaman's clan are such fanatics about time, it really isn't too much of a stretch for Adaman to be like "HM. These guys might be from the FUTURE."

I should mention that Ingo and the agents don't. "Land." They come straight out of a distortion, so the train remained on the ground the whole time. It just sort of crashed through a bunch of trees, wheels screeching from the emergency breaks, train whistle screaming... Horrible, still, but if the train fell out of the sky I'm like 100% positive everyone would be dead lol. They weren't summoned by Arceus so they don't have that fall damage protection like Akari does.

In any case, they would still get spotted by Melli because it's a whole ass train with 21 cars to it, it's BIG and it's LOUD, and it's probably billowing heaps of smoke and fire from that crash. Melli is probably clutching at his hair in stress because what the FUCK is THAT MONSTER??? and then he sees PEOPLE crawling OUT OF THE MONSTER?!??!?

Melli would definitely tell Adaman about it, but seeing is believing so Adaman would have to investigate himself. By this point Ingo is in the process of getting shoved dragged out of the most damaged train car and the depot agents are frantically wailing about their BOSS being INJURED. YONA THE BOSS IS BLEEDING WHAT DO WE DO—

Adaman coming just in time to see Sneasler coming down and just. Shoving the very injured man who is apparently the leader into her basket. And running off.

And then a trail of people in matching outfits running after her. Leaving behind that big metal monstrosity that Adaman is obviously not gonna touch with a ten foot pole.

Adaman's first encounter with these people was barely an encounter but it was pretty weird as is.

[ryttu3k]

Posting a list of Astarion-related plotbunnies I'll probably never get to so I'm setting them loose upon the internet.

If you decide to write any of these please let me know, I'd love to read them <3

1) Cazador gets sick of waiting for Astarion, and also what fun is being the Vampire Ascendant if you don't have anyone to subjugate? As Dufay feared, he gets scarred and used in Astarion's place for the ritual, and Ascended Cazador shows up in the middle of a bright sunny day at the Elfsong to try and reclaim his errant spawn, easily overpowering basically everyone. Gale, who's in the midst of a sweet slowburn romance with Astarion, basically goes, okay, look, we're currently the only ones who have a hope to defeat the Netherbrain, and you won't be Vampire Ascendant for much longer if mind flayers take over Toril. Side with us against it, and we'll give you Astarion after.

He's lying through his teeth and is very quick to tell Astarion that as soon as Cazador leaves, because once he has the Crown of Karsus :) he'll be able to take Cazador out :) no problem :)

The real struggle isn't just fighting a desire for power, it's fighting against something that will permanently change him but also give him the best possible chance to save his lover, versus giving up that power and staying Gale Dekarios, not losing his identity, but also now having to fight the Vampire Ascendant without all that power...

2) Astarion stays in the Underdark to assist with the spawn, and ends up striking up a friendship with Gandrel, who wants Astarion's advice on how to raise his spawn daughters. Fluffy slow-burn romance with his former enemy ensues. Could tie in with this delightful epilogue detail.

3) Short version: Astarion tries to do A Scheme only it backfires due to the fact that he's starting to experience Emotions like 'self-worth'.

Longer version: Astarion sets out to deal with (read: seduce) Gortash - gives him Ketheric's stone, says the others have gone off to fight Orin and get [x] back, and it'll be easy enough to get Orin's stone from them once they've done the hard work, telling Gortash that the others lack ambition or have other plans. Lae'zel wants to give the Crown to Raphael to free Orpheus, Gale wants it for himself, etc. Only Astarion can see Gortash's point - that they can run the Absolute cult, they can use the stones. Gortash, Astarion, and a certain Bhaalspawn who Astarion is fairly certain would be amenable…

His actual plan is to seduce Gortash, kill him when he's not expecting it, and take the stone and return to the others, because he's good at seducing people for a purpose, so why not just do what he's best at? Except he's suddenly realising that, huh, he actually doesn't want to just… be used any more, he likes the person he's becoming with resist!Durge, and it all feels a bit… icky, now…

4) Astarion + trust issues + being touch-starved for non-intimate touch. Astarion gets some kind of back injury (thorns or little shards of glass or splinters or something, not something terribly lethal but just painful to deal with) and has to confide in someone (Halsin would be good here) and let them see and touch his scars to help get himself fixed up. Bit of whump, bit of hurt/comfort.

5) "Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered." Astarion has Issues with the gods. Gale catches him vandalising the Open Hand Temple / Stormshore Tabernacle, and they talk about gods and their fickle attentions.

6) Astarion can't swim. Karlach offers him and Shadowheart swimming lessons (and promptly goes heart-eyes a bit over her white-haired elven boyfriend and girlfriend).

7) AU where Ulder isn't a Complete Garbage Person who disowns his teenage son, and instead accepts and helps Wyll as much as he can. The Blade of Baldur's Gate instead focuses on helping his city, and it's time to do something about that creepy gothic monstrosity known as the Szarr Palace…

[ikamigami]

I'M BACK

I realized that I wasn't in the wrong for being concerned. Being concerned is never a wrong thing. Yeah, you can go a wrong way about it. But I realized another thing. I never sent anything to VAs specifically and like Davis said himself that he rarely interacts with fandom.

I never pushed down their throats any of my theories and headcanons or whatever you like to call it - just my interpretation of a character, my opinion on this.. I never pushed this on anyone.

Even if they portrayed me with Miku in that ill-fated episode.. it says more about VAs than me. And seeing people's reactions - that there are people who defend this monstrosity of addressing the fandom.. it says more about those people than me.. or any person who has a right to relate to Sun and his mental issues or any person who has a right to be concerned about Sun - none of us were in the wrong here.

We have a right to have different opinions and we definitely have a right to be concerned about our favourite character and we most definitely have a right to relate to Sun and his mental issues.

People are obnoxious about their opinions and hcs etc all the damn time.. so surely I CAN BE OBNOXIOUS ABOUT MY OPINIONS JUST AS MUCH AS EVERYONE ELSE.

If you feel offended then block me. I always say that because this is what the block button is all about - to block those who I don't want to see.

Also if VAs can be obnoxious about things in the show - even though it'd be better if they just made the story more clear - I can 100% be obnoxious as well.

I'm feeling better thanks to everyone's support here and irl 💗

Thank you so much for everything ^^ I love you all/platonically 💗🫂

You can prepare because I decided that I'll make post about that damn episode - I mean that I'll theorize if I think that Sun is lying or not because I CAN.

SCREW IT! NO ONE CAN SAY HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING. HOW I SHOULD THINK ABOUT SOMETHING. NO ONE CAN SAY IF I CAN OR CANNOT BE WORRIED.

Because if you think you can push down my throat your obnoxious narration just because you simply was unable to tell your story coherently in the first place then I have only one thing to say to you - GTFO!!! AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!!! 😘

LOVE AND PISSEACE TO EVERYONE!!! 💗

[the-real-sasuke-uchiha]

Sasuke, I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now. I used to think analyzing people’s reactions to the Uchiha genocide was fascinating. I would say to myself “wow, people treat this like it was some kind of ‘both sides were wrong’ type of thing but I’m sure if it was happening in front of them, they would think differently.” WELL. Now a genocide is happening in front of us and people are REACTING THE SAME WAY. “Oh it’s not a genocide, you are being dramatic.” “They deserved it because they’re all evil.” “Is**** has a right to defend itself against terrorists!” Holy moly… Literally word for word. I feel so naive to have believed in humanity as much as i did.

I feel you, my friend. I never talk about these things because I think it might be upsetting if an anime blog starts talking about real life genocides in between joke posts and memes. I also don't like to parallel fictional and real life crimes for fear that people will find it frivolous and offensive. So please, everyone reading this, know that this is not by any means my intention, and that I am not trying to use real life massacres to justify my take in this fandom or anything, I am just answering a friend here.

I don't know what to say, really, I lost all hope in humanity long ago too. But, it baffles me that I keep seeing people around me repeating the bullshit you describe. And it baffles me mostly because I see this coming too from good people that have nothing to win out of this infamy. Now you are thinking that "good people" would never find excuses to turn a blind eye to a genocide, but I can ensure you they are no monsters, they really aren't. They are not indifferent to human suffering, I saw them committed with other causes, I know they wouldn't hurt a fly, so what is wrong with them?

I am no psychologist so, forgive me if I say something dumb. But I think the thing is, reality is just to damn painful. You just can't accept it like that. A genocide, complete and atrocious extermination of a whole group of people, just because? Just based on hate and lies? Just to steal their land? And you are comfortable at your home, safe just out of sheer luck, because you were born in the right moment in the right place. Two very agonizing realities arise when you become aware of this. The first one is that you, citizen of the so-called "free world", convinced during your whole life that you have the voice and the power in your very democratic country, are practically impotent; unable to do anything or to help anyone, unable to even get your government to officially condemn the genocide, let alone to get them to stop sending weapons to the perpetrator. The second one is that you are only safe until your annihilation can be of purpose to the geopolitical interests of some dominant global power.

So, I believe blaming the victim is a defence mechanism to help us convince ourselves that bad things happen for a reason and that we could never be subjected to such cruelty. Similar to when we blame poor starving people for their bad choices, or when we blame women for being raped because, you know, they were dressed like that, they drank or whatever. We want to believe that we know better, that we are safe because we are clever and not because we are lucky, because that would mean our luck could end one day and we could be susceptible to monstrosities any time. And I guess that is unbearable.

And then, of course, we have the media bringing us those excuses. Thoroughly. Picturing the victims as terrorists for defending themselves and the aggressor as a victim with legit reasons to commit a genocide. It is extremely well-thought and intentional, from the language they use to the things that they decide to tell or not. They know very well how to manipulate people and how to redirect their feelings and empathy to fit the goals and interests of the very rich people behind mass media. Many people speak only one language, never left their homes, never met a foreigner. They have access only to mainstream tv channels and newspapers, and they will never believe anything different from what they consider "official". And you would expect something more from educated people, but even the school curriculum is designed to shape your mind in a particular way that fits the political interests of your nation.

And going back to fiction, of course, I understand that people have a right to enjoy whatever they want and like any character they want and this is no reason to judge their morality. But, indeed, like you, I also find parallels between the excuses people give to overlook or justify fictional massacres and the real ones. I guess fiction mirrors reality and this is why, sometimes, we live this fandom a bit to viscerally. Because when you see someone justifying a fictional genocide you imagine them doing the same in reality and, well. As you say, we don't really need to imagine that at all, it is happening.

[reitheist]

So yeah, here's what I predict will happen next episode: Shindo will trick Arajin into releasing Senya from his body after revealing what Senya's true motivations are (after he tried everything to change the subject) much like how Jafar was able to steal the lamp from Aladdin. Shindo will hold Senya captive in the same bullet that shot into Arajin's head during the premiere. Matakara, completely possessed by Ichiya, will dispose of Ken and take over Minato Kai, then challenge Siguma's leader to incite a gang war. That will be enough to lure Arajin out (since he still only cares about Mahoro) so that we get their battle because everyone believes that Arajin has stopped a gang war before and he can do it again, and it's going to be a brutal one-sided fight that will cause the rest of the cast to turn on Arajin when they all discover that he's been using a genie for that power he displayed back there, not just Matakara. After all, their behavior throughout this series showed how both of them are so ill-suited to become genies because they are neither "strong" nor "pure" to fit that criteria.

Also, believe me. Shindo will clearly take advantage of the fight between Arajin and Matakara as they let out every single frustration they've had towards each other, and steal Ichiya for himself so he can be the top dog once more with both genie bullets in his possession, only for this to completely take over him when he tries to shoot both bullets into his body, turning him into a Honki monstrosity. It feels like everything's falling into place, especially after I know what Jafar did in Aladdin when he stole the lamp. Hell, he even did the whole disguise thing when he slips a paper into Arajin's pocket to meet him another time, revealing then how Senya only wants to control him, perhaps so that he can selfishly fight Ichiya again.

this is a smart prediction! yeah all of this seems fairly likely to me

it occured to me watching ep 9 that shindo is DEFINITELY going to get a role in the battle given how prominent he is even post ara asswhooping. it also occured to me that shindo is certainly going to at least try to take senya, but that jafar parallel totally makes sense for his character.

matakara taking over minato kai to force a match against ara would be a good setup for the 'darkest hour' of arajin's journey.

an extra evil and powerful double-majin shindo would be really fun to see, i really hope this happens. shindo is the perfect character to have suffer from his own hubris. he's at his best when he's doing his most jafar camp or suffering because of it

i wonder maybe when/if senya and ichiya occupy the same body, if they could reconcile whatever it is they went through. shindo would be their 'get along' shirt lmao. then they decide to beat up shindo together and everybody looks on deeply confused as to why he's writhing on the ground in pain

really good explanation, this makes me hope that the battle plays out just like this!

[starkblazer]

For the WIP game: number 04 and 07 just speak so deeply to me. I wish you all the creative energy and time to finish both of these!!!

thank you so much for the ask and the sweet wishes :))

let's start with 4. Flint actually jumps after Silver when he drowns in 4x01 because this is just a sweet one with a bunch of angst in between. i really wanted to write something where Flint kinda looses his shit and decides that he cannot loose Silver too and how that would change things. here's a bit

They breach the surface of the water gasping for air, desperate to breathe. Flint gets a hold on the ship and lets himself rest. He can see Silver, alive and taking ragged breaths, in front of him and that is enough. His hair is dripping water onto his face and his lips are slightly purple, he's shivering and the exhaustion is set deep in his features but he is alive and Flint can only breathe in relief. The silent respite they had gotten doesn't last long. As soon as Silver gets his breath under control, his face turns in anger towards Flint. "Are you insane? Did you just leave our men without their main military tactician for one man?" Flint wants to lie, but he won't lie to Silver and he can't lie to himself. Still, he stays silent. There's no need to give Silver the satisfaction of being right. Not when he has already revealed this much of himself for going after him.

after this, they loose sight of each other and everything continues as usual but Silver knows Flint cares and will come for him so his headspace is a bit better so things change accordingly.

i love these kinda games cause this has a decent chunk of it written so if i sat down and worked on it, i could reasonably finish it but... oh well

as for 7. Black Sails Pacific Rim AU... that one almost deserves it's own post because this is my biggest project to date. it's a monstrosity of a fic where I took the plot of the first movie and worked it all out to fit Black Sails. This means so many changes, like putting the Shatterdome in Nassau, figuring out timelines for everyone in terms of where were they when the first attack happened and a million other things.

I have shared several bits of this one but you can have another bit

The Command Center has been upgraded since James last saw it. It's not a surprise, given the quick advances in technology over the past few years. This new type of war giving birth to a whole new set of inventions. Everything in the Command Center is new: new screens, new tech and of course, new personnel. "Captain, welcome." A blond woman greets him, "I'm Eleanor Gutherie, I'm in charge of the Restoration Program." Her name doesn't register at all, his mind reeling at the rank. "Captain?" "No one told you?" she asks, confusion showing on her face, "you were promoted after your last ride." It makes sense, the military always liked to give empty decorations after traumatic and life changing events, as if they meant anything. He makes a non committal sound and moves on. His last ride, like it hadn't been the worst deployment of his life, like he hadn't lost a part of his heart in that last ride. {expand} "Well, Captain McGraw, we are very happy to have you here." "Flint." "What?" "It's Flint, Captain Flint if you have to. Change your records and move on, I don't want to hear that name from anyone else." "Very well," she says, a few shades lighter than before. He should try to be less brusque with her, show her that he understands, that he respects what she is trying to do here but he is still off-balance.

and that's Flint's meeting with Eleanor. I have a so many scenes planed but this is a big ass fic and there are so many details to iron out in the beginning of it, mostly to do with timeline stuff so while the start is done done, I've been putting posting because I have yet to figure out a full timeline and I don't want to have to edit the posted fic again and again as I figure it out.

I also don't have the time to focus on it as I'd like to but again the beauty of these games is that I add a tiny bit more every time people ask me about fics cause I have to open the file :)))

[reactionnonsense]

Game: Starfield✨

Spoilers for:

United Colonies Vanguard questline

Constellation companion reactions post-questline

I didn’t think my first “reaction” on here would be to a video game, but here we are. Click “keep reading” if you don’t fear the spoilers.

In the UC Vanguard questline, you learn the secret of the Terrormorphs.

I enjoyed the questline quite a bit, in part because I didn’t see parts of it coming, and because, frankly, I want to fight more things like Terrormorphs.

MORE MONSTROSITIES, PLEASE.

Anyway! In the quest, you can choose to use engineered microbes to take down the terrormorphs, or reintroduce a natural predator into ecosystems already shown to handle them.

I chose the natural predator , because I had concerns about artificial microbe mutations over countless generations, and how that might unpredictably affect the ecosystems of basically every human-settled planet 🦠

I also chose to preserve something that could trigger the sudden creation of terrormorphs (when combined with something specific) for study, because not understanding it seemed like a bad idea that could backfire in the long term 👩‍🔬

So the UC asked for my feedback, and acted based on my suggestions, because why not trust these things to the person who runs around and shoots good?

Anyway, I noticed later that I had activities to speak to people at Constellation, annnd they all hated my choices.

They began with “you’re GREAT! Amazing! You’ve helped humanity!” Immediately followed by “you don’t trust releasing lab-made microbes into a multitude of ecosystems? What are you, a simpleton?”

And “You kept something like that for study?! Why didn’t you burn it all into ash?!”

Constellation, the group that’s gathering artifacts that, for all we know, will implode the universe once gathered, and doing because curiosity is neat, is universally judging my choices in this matter 🤦‍♀️

And frankly, I don’t know if future space microbes are foolproof or not. I was presented with the warning “these could mutate,” it’s post 2020 in our reality, and I thought “if I was forced to choose, and I am, I’m choosing the thing that’s less likely to cause ecological collapse and/or plague.”

I’m less indignant about them judging the idea to hang onto the plants that could make bad things happen, but still. The plants are on one quarantined planet, we can’t 100% know if they’re the only thing that can result in sudden terrormorphs, and I thought it made sense to study them to figure out what EXACTLY was happening.

But what do I know? I apparently don’t trust “the science” because I didn’t trust artificial microbes to not cause one or more apocalypses. I’m sure everyone in the lodge is an expert on it.

Even if it was the wrong choice, ye gods, the UC asked my opinion and ran with it. They didn’t have to do that if I was wrong. They presumably have actual experts, get THEM to weigh in on this. I haven’t even taken the chemist OR zoology perks!

If they want to be critical of someone, they should be critical of the UC irresponsibly deciding things based on the opinion of their latest rookie.

Part of my annoyance is the limited speech options. I can’t express anything but what the game allows, and that’s frequently not what I’d say.

Regardless, Sarah Morgan once again managed to alienate herself from me. “Dana disliked that.” YOUR affinity with ME has decreased!

I’ll rant about the first time she did that in another post. I’d need different quest spoiler warnings at the top for that one.

[ashestoshadows]

Today I'm doing a list on shiny Pokemon! But this time they're on shinies that are either ridiculous or just make no sense in any matter of the word sense.

-------------

No 1. Garchomp/and it's catastrophic mega form

(Normal is far left while shiny normal is middle and mega shiny is right)

Whoever designed normal shiny Garchomp deserves a slap in the face and whoever designed this monstrosity of a mega Pokemon's color scheme deserves a real whack in the face. I love Garchomp to bits but why did they have to almost make it look so pale it puts me and my naturally pasty skin to shame? And or make it look like it's possibly unwell?

And to make matters worse and rub salt into the open wound it gets even worse with its mega, who designed these? I figured they'd want to make Garchomp's shiny memorable considering many struggled with Cynthia's, but it turns out they really couldn't care less about such a badass of a pokemon.

Pure disaster and I HATE IT

-----------

No 2. Glaceon

(shiny is right while normal is left)

I love all of the Eeveelutions, but Glaceon and Leafeon's shinies almost are indistinguishable from their normal counterparts if you don't know, or even if you do know you might miss them... Like Garchomp who is no 1 on here.

Why are the designers so bored with designing shiny pokemon?! Don't do the job if you don't put in enough effort for it to shine at least. (no pun intended)

Needs more shine

-----------------

No 3. Leafeon

(Normal is left while shiny is right)

Even in editing of this post I'm struggling to see a real difference on my laptop screen, it only looks like the Leafeon got a slight tan and that is really it. Besides the more verdant green going on which I get but the tan doesn't, even if it is a grass type.

Pure lazy and stop tanning

-----------------

No 4. Pikachu

(Normal is on the left while shiny is on the right)

Pikachu is, and has always been the mascot of Nintendo and Pokemon since it's debut and everyone would assume and expect they'd treat the cute but annoying mouse with respect? Nope.

Just give it the Leafeon treatment and give it a tan. Expect here Pikachu look's like he got covered in cheeto or twistie dust and now looks like a living, breathing, and electrifying cheeto who you cannot eat.

I will eat pikachu if i'm not careful and caught on a bad day

-------------------

No 5. Dragonite

(Normal is on the left while shiny is on the right)

Everyone knows Barney the dinosaur, and Dragonite from Pokemon. And Gamefreak and Nintendo decided to combine them when doing Dragonite's shiny. It almost look's like Barney expect replace the green body with purple and the purple on his wings with green and that'd literally be Barney down to a capital T.

Dragonite is cute and cuddly while Barney isn't. At least to me, and is more scary than anything and I can think of more cooler color schemes for him.

Someone beat up the shiny pokemon designers

--------------------

No 6. Lucario/his disgusting shiny mega form

(Normal is on the left while normal shiny is in the middle and mega is on the right)

I love Lucario- so much so I have a statue of it which is still sitting in its box due to the fact i don't have a place for it currently. But regardless; Did they really have to treat such a beloved pokemon such as Lucario with such disrespect? Am I really seeing these shinies right? Normal is a very unflattering yellow which makes my eyes hurt and his mega form gets more worse although is very close to shiny mega garchomp on awfulness and unflattering colors which hurt my eyes.

His middle part which is usually beige goes to... BLUE? WHY BLUE? and it get worse in his mega form. If his whole shiny was blue it would've looks fine but with the eye-watering yellow it looks... eugh.

------------------

No 7. Gengar (not the mega or gigantamax)

(Normal on the left while shiny is on the right)

Gengar is one of the many favourite ghost types of mine, it fluctuates how much I like it at times. The difference between a shiny gengar is the blue in its mouth???

Not sure if that is still the case as I don't have one, at least, as of writing this (25/06/23) But doesn't change the fact shiny Gengar normally is the living embodiment of disappointment. Like Garchomp from earlier.

Rest in peace the pokemon whose shinies make them either indistinguishable or sick.

--------------

No 8. Mamoswine

(Normal is on left while shiny's on right)

Mamoswine is a good pokemon, it's shiny though? No. I have one too if you wanted any reason to feel bad, or laugh at me, I caught it as a Piloswine with yellow hair (?) in PLA and decided to catch it as it's a shiny and anyone would kill for one. But this???? NO.

It's color scheme is a disgusting almost sewer green which is almost like Lucario's eye-watering yellow illness/plague that I really wish to never come into contact with.

-------------

No 8. Espeon

(Normal on left and shiny on right)

I love cats, there's no way I'm going to deny it as I have been brought up around them but... This one makes me want to try and spend as little time with it as possible due to the fact it is the color of toxicity and i don't want my character to get ill and die.

I still love Espeon, but... Why? Umbreon got the better end of the stick, but why did Espeon get the short end of it? Why are most of the eevee's considered poor color-wise on the scale of shininess??? Did they seriously give up on everything else besides Umbreon, Sylveon, Eevee, alongside Vaporeon who all stick out for the better reason then the rest?

Long story short I want it sent back to Chernobyl before I catch something

-------------

Image post limit is the reason this is not any longer, but yep. More to come of me shaming Nintendo and Gamefreak for their shitty color schemes

I was inspired to do this due to some youtube videos. But it's me on tumblr and my smart-ass

[lucy-o-ohs]

okay, so a lot of people have been wondering; what the fuck is that monstrosity on the bottom of this post?

ill try to explain it here.

disclaimer: some of this information will be inaccurate, as i am going mostly off of memory and a few posts i dug up.

the story of jokeefunny.com started however many years ago before r/curatedtumblr even existed. everyone was using r/tumblr, and the mods… werent.

there was an infestation of repost bots that i doubt has been taken care of to this day.

people were trying different ways to differentiate their posts from the bot posts. like putting their usernames in the title or as a watermark on the image

a user by the name of nightmarechameleon used the original jokeefunny watermark

this is, as far as i can tell, what the original looked like

eventually it morphed to this, with the orange part used for text

eventually, r/curatedtumblr was created, people moved over there, the need to differentiate users from bots dwindled, and jokeefunny fell out of use as nightmarechameleon stopped using reddit as much.

at some point, someone bought the domain, and to this day, it redirects to r/curatedtumblr

4ish months ago (holy shit, its been that long) i decided to bring it back. no real reason, i just thought is would be funny

i made some changes though. i made the orange part yellow, and had the text be relevant to the post

one thing people might have noticed is that i could not replicate the chaotic energy from the original

these are some rather extreme examples, but you can tell just how different the vibes are from mine

i felt it was missing, so i started adding images to it, eventually getting here

as you can tell, its getting pretty full, and i need your help deciding what to do with it.

some people have said not to reset it ever, and just expand the image whenever it gets too full.

some have said its too chaotic already, and would like it to be reset often.

i had thought nobody really cared about it, but in the past couple days, ive seen people express otherwise. that they genuinely enjoyed it.

i see a few different directions i could take with it.

option 1: complete rebuild of the watermark from the ground up. this would likely come with an experimentation phase, and people could provide input on even the most basic parts of it.

option 2: 1 image per post. i would have the current simple base with room for text and/or an image related to the post

option 3: never reset it. just expand the watermark every time it gets full. this will come with the loss of the text on it, and issues that may arise in the future

option 4: nuke it. no more watermark

[autistichalsin]

Sometimes, I do like the origin story of his scar because nature can be ruthless. However, Halsin explains its origin with obvious embarrassment, as if he expects the PC to laugh at him. When he reveals his trauma about his drow captors, the mood is completely different, whereas with the shebear tale, his behavior encourages the players to be amused. Silly him! A 350 yo druid without battle scars! Instead a bear in heat wanted him! The fact it was a sexual assault isn't acknowledged at all.

I think that's a lot of the problem- that it's presented as a joke. Which I wouldn't mind if it was the only time Halsin was used for that kind of humor, but. It isn't.

Same with the chimera. Two anecdotes focused on sex with animals used to make the players laugh and/or shock them.

The chimera... I still find it hilarious, but the fandom is so exhausting about it. I mean it's pretty clear to see why it happened. Dragons are sentient, one of the heads is a dragon, therefore his writer thought "oh, chimeras are sentient." Especially so given the whole "Speak With Animals leads to you having perfectly coherent conversations with animals that show animals to be fully sentient" deal. And yet everyone uses it as 'proof' he was actually fucking Tusk the boar or what have you. If Druids can wildshape into owlbears, which are monstrosities (meaning that either wildshape works for monstrosities or owlbears are beasts in BG3) then I see no reason why chimeras can't be sentient, but here we are.

I'll even admit the squirrel in his romance scene annoys me a lot. The poor fella is fine if Halsin fucks the PC wood elf style, but they're so traumatized they turn grey if the PC decides it's bear time. So the bear option truly feels like a joke compared to the wood elf one. I love it because I have a lot of hc about his wildshape, but for anyone playing the game casually, it's a funny scene instead of a touching, emotional moment.

We don't see the squirrel turn grey, just Minsc referencing it later, and that banter does play no matter which form the player romanced Halsin in. However, I do fully agree about wishing the bear scene focused more on how it's a "I accept you as you are, including the things you see as flaws' moment. That's how I always play it- it may be a funny scene but it's a lot more than just a joke to me. It's one of the few chances I get in this game to show Halsin my character finds him perfect just the way he is.

I don't understand why they chose to write repeatedly tasteless jokes about animals and sex the second Halsin was involved. Antis use these anecdotes to claim Halsin is an evil sex pest and a one-dimensional thirst add on all the time.

Isn't it exhausting? The antis go digging for random lines and then post them devoid of context to yell SEE SEE SEE THIS PROVES I WAS RIGHT! I don't like all the jokes but they don't prove he's a sex pest or one dimensional.

Sidenote, I think part of the reason also that I sideeye the she shebear story is related to how Halsin's sexual abuse was presented before patch 5. Before patch 5, you couldn't ask Halsin about what happened in the Underdark hardly at all, and the scene ended with him saying he never learned what came of his hosts and etc. So with that presentation, the inability to talk about it, and the devnote saying "recounting an episode from a lively youth. Neither bragging nor ashamed" (emphasis mine) a lot of people felt Halsin's Underdark trauma was also being presented as another joke. Thankfully patch 5's added dialogue clarified it wasn't a joke (which is the reason we all wanted it changed, we needed that clarity), but for many of us who were there at the start, it continued to leave a sour taste in our mouths. Which I think added to me being very :/ about the scars sometimes, because it seems like yet another situation where Halsin being in effect sexually assaulted wasn't treated as seriously as it should have been. I love 99% of the writing for Halsin but the bear story is one of the rare moments that misses the mark.

I miss the early version of Halsin's scar origin story where it was from a battle (very likely the Druids vs Ketheric fight) instead of from a shebear.

It's not that I hate the shebear version, really, it's just... out of place, and it starts getting weird if you happen to know about bear mating habits in real life. If it was used to confirm werebear Halsin and that bear was the one to turn him, I'd be 100% cool, but... I don't know, sometimes (and this is very dependent on my mood), it just feels... uncomfortable sometimes? IDK. And keeping the scars as being from a battle instead of a bear attempting to, in effect, sexually assault him feels... nicer/more empathetic to his character if that makes sense.

[unseelie-robynx]

Right, so I've been getting anons (which i don't get so it's been kinda surreal) and basically the proposition of a Oblivion variant where it's Monkey King who gets the mind control music and somehow goes down a corruption ark and ends up Little Brother-ifying Macaque and then *also* using it on Xiaotian and keeping him as well.

(And that's a bit open as to if it's baby brother or cub, but I kind of like the idea that since Sun Wukong basically raised Macaque anyways in the premise relationship this is spawning from, that Monkey King isn't entirely sure where he stands on what he'd doing with Xiaotian either, but also he decides that the specifics don't matter as much and what does is that he's got Xiaotian safe on FFM with Liu Er and nothing is going to take his family away from him EVER AGAIN)

But mostly I've been thinking about how we would get to a corruption for SWK, and how he would get a version of the music that works on Macaque/Xiaotian. (although since Xiaotian starts off human, that first part had been easy)

I've ended up with some ideas, and since I need to get them out of my system, you all get to deal with them.

Please note that this isn’t trying to stop over what Anon was going for or wanted to explore, because I am still psyched for that and to see what awesomeness they create, but they got my brain juices flowing and I was just jotting down ideas that came to me and it turned into this monstrosity. So, again, not trying to stop on anyone’s toes, I’m just incapable of stopping myself (Also this is a 2 Part post. Because I started writting and didn’t stop and you get 10 points of SWK falling and breaking Macaque here, and then The Other Post is 10 points on Xiaotian and the cannon timeline)

1. SWK stumbles on the music (we hand wave that part) and realizes he can use it to get demons to stop attacking. And since he wants to retire, he is down for this. He starts using it a lot in it's basic function of blasting it and ordering the demon to leave and go home and never do this again. And it works

2. maybe he gets a little bit suspicious as to how well it works, and tests it on some one, learning how much more it's actually doing than just turning demons away. (so now he knows he's in possession of mind control magic)

3. he has some internal crisis about this, but also he doesn't want to come out of the mostly retired state he's in, and he doesn't want to leave everyone completely defenseless if he just stops. So he starts the corruption process with justifying using it to stop bad demons.

4. SWK ends up with a situation where it's not demons that are the problem, it's wicked humans. This is... a problem. Because the way the music is now, it doesn't work on humans, and SWK can clearly see that there are evil humans just as much as there are evil demons, and since he's the hero he should help with *both*.

It's now more modern time (think late 90's ish?), and SWK isn't tech illiterate, (he had a VR set and lots of people HC he made the game Xiaotian played in that episode) so he picks up audio editing and through trial and error finds a music that can work on humans.

because he'd been forced to kill the corrupt humans from the incident above, and SWK hates that he did that. this way is better, because no one gets hurt, and the people he stops can then go on to live better lives. they just need a nudg* in the right direction, like the kind he was given so long ago.

 5. somewhere in all of this, Macaque comes back. And SWK hadn't known about his little brother being resurrected, but reincarnation is a thing, so when he hears a rumor about a six eared being, he thinks it might be that reincarnation and takes off after the rumors.

It's not a reincarnation he finds. And SWK is completely flabbergasted by the sight of his Liu Er (his fur is black instead of the white it used to be, but it was like that when the fought as well and there are more important things to think about, like the fact that his little brother who he killed who's body he buried is ALIVE. The shock of it is enough for Macaque to escape, but now SWK is on a hunt. He lost Liu Er once, he wont loose him again now that he has this second chance.

 6. SWK is basically devoting all his energy into finding his brother. But along the way, with lots on encounters and near misses, he figures out that Macaque is still angry and bitter, still in that mindset that lead to SWK putting him down before the celestials could do something worse. trap him away, make him scream in agony from pain he couldn't stop, break him into pieces, burn him alive, shatter his mind and heart SWK can't let that happen, which means he need to change Liu Er's mind.

And he wrestles with himself over this decision, eventually deciding that it's the only way this is ever going to end. (at least, the only way it ends where his brother is safe and home where he belongs) but this is a huge step from where he was before with using the music, and a skid down the slippery slope he's on

 7. problem is, the music doesn't work on SWK, so he doubts it will work on Liu Er either. So SWK stops looking for his brother and turns his attention to developing something that will work on him. Lots of self testing, and SWK knows he's getting it right when he looses time, and he knows this is reckless and dangerous, but he needs it to work. And, eventually, it does.

 8. Macaque's gotten jumpy by this point, what with the way SWK had suddenly stopped the until then relentless pursuit. It leads him to doing something stupid ie. going to FFM to spy.

He get's caught. Obviously.

But SWK is ecstatic because Liu Er came to him, came home, so deep down he must still want to be home, with him. And SWK wastes no time in forcing headphones on Macaque and starting the music before he can figure out what's going on.

At that point SWK basicaly... 'suggests' all those things he just thought, and also drills it in deep that Macaque want's to be a good person from now on.

 9. initially, that was all SWK was going to do. all he was going to allow himself to do. But Macaque is stubborn and keeps fighting against the music and needing to go under again and again, and SWK can't help but... throw things in, each time. About how things used to be. About how sweet his little brother was. About how much he missed when Liu Er would follow him about and let himself be taken care of.

And little by little, Macaque fades away and little Liu Er takes his place.

But it's such a gradual thing, that's happening over years and decades-

(I HC that LMK takes place in the future from our modern time. yes it's Lego but also they have hover-bikes and transforming vehicles and at least the original spider mech wasn't *made* with magic, just used it as a battery, so there's *time* between when SWK can start editing things vs when the show starts of all this. We're hand-waving the exact timeline, just go with it)

-SWK doesn't even realy see the corruption happening. His little brother is safe and happy and wont ever leave him again so things are good. He's the hero after all, he keeps people safe, keeps them happy, helps criminals see the light and be good, and all he wants in return is to be left alone with his little brother in their home. SWK deserves to have his perfect adorably little brother back. He's earned this. And clearly Liu Er is so much happier this way. SWK is the hero, and he knows what’s best.

 10. Time passes, SWK gets used to being able to switch things around in Liu Er's mind whenever he feels like it, and normalizes using the music for everything and anything.

[five-rivers]

Beltane

Written for Ectober 2021 Day 1: Trick vs Treat. This is part of the Exhumed series.

.

Danny Fenton walked into the precinct. As often happened when he did this, all attention slowly turned to him. “Hi, Detective Patterson. Have you ever heard of Beltane?”

Patterson took a long swig of coffee through the plastic stir straw, because she felt the need to be at least a little drugged before dealing with whatever this was, and then said, “Is this the kind of thing the whole precinct needs to know about, or is it more specific to me?”

“Mm, not specific to you, but I’m not sure if everyone needs to know about it, yet.”

Despite only select members of the Amity Park police force knowing Danny Fenton had another identity, he’d become a sort of ‘ghost liaison’ for the precinct. Better him than the adult Fentons, who tended to break things even (especially) when they were being careful.

“Actually,” continued Danny, “you might have already noticed some things about it. I mean, it’s seasonal, and Mom and Dad were detecting ectoenergy and ghost activity spikes for events like this before they got the portal up and running. Although, the portal was supposed to stabilize and reduce those spikes… I guess reducing one isn’t bad?”

“Okay,” said Patterson. “I don’t really know what you’re talking about. Do you want me to go find Collins?”

“Oh, that might be a good idea.”

“Great,” said Patterson. She turned her head to shout across the room. “McGee. Go find Collins.”

“Still the new guy?” asked Danny, sympathetically.

“It isn’t like we’re a popular posting,” said Patterson, “and, thanks to the ghosts, we don’t really need new people.”

Danny nodded placidly. “I know. But it must be hard for him, don’t you think?”

.

McGee had done his job. He’d discovered the corruption in the Amity Park Police Department and plumbed its depths. The problem was that he could never, ever, report it. Even if they didn’t have a perfectly good cause for it all, what they were ‘hiding’ (and they were only barely doing that) was so ridiculous that McGee had thought he’d gone crazy at first.

Ghosts.

The whole of Amity Park was haunted. Just like it said in those touristy brochures at the front of the local diners.

He stuck his head into the break room. “Collins, Patterson and Fenton want you,” he said.

“In the normal room?” Collins asked, shoving a sugary monstrosity of a donut into his mouth.

“I have no idea. She didn’t say.”

“Normal room then. Great job, McGee.”

McGee rolled his eyes. Great job, he said. As if he’d done anything.

God. What would Halloween be like?

.

“So, it’s like, reverse Halloween?” asked Patterson.

“Well, not exactly,” said Danny. He patted Daisy, the department mascot slash corpse sniffing dog who had followed them into the small interview room, gently on the head. “Actually, there are more similarities than differences. Basically, like Halloween, we’re going to get a spike in ectoenergy. Maybe even some ectoplasmic storms. More portals. That kind of thing.” He shrugged. “Most holidays and seasonal divisions have them, you know.”

“So… we’re getting Halloween round two?” asked Collins.

“What do you bet that this is what gets McGee to snap?”

“He’s been here since December,” said Collins. “I think he’s too stubborn to leave.”

“Is he still spying?” asked Danny.

“No,” said Patterson, waving a hand. “He gave up on that, after a while. But there’s a new office bet about whether or not he’ll stay stay, or if he’ll decide to quit. We’re not allowed to join in because we know him too well.”

“Mm,” said Danny.

“I don’t actually know if I feel like I know him that well,” said Collins.

“Well,” said Danny, “it shouldn’t be as extreme as Halloween. Since, I mean, there aren’t as many religious holidays directly associated with death and stuff happening on or around May first. So. Yeah. But the thing is, there are some traditional, er, activities. Spirited activities.”

Collins suppressed a groan, and was glad that Captain Jones wasn’t available today. He and Danny could sling puns at each other for obscenely long periods of time.

“I’ve never noticed ghosts doing anything on May Day,” said Patterson.

“This is only the third year anyone’s even acknowledged that ghosts exist,” said Danny, “so I’m not really all that surprised. But the reason that I came to talk to you guys is that some of the ghosts want to do Beltane stuff. Like the fire blessings. Also, I’ve been told that some of the trees in town are secretly ghost trees, and if we don’t want to deal with another tree army, we need to do some stuff to appease them.”

“Secret ghost trees.”

“My source is very reliable,” said Danny. “Also, while I say ‘we don’t want to deal with it,’ I think we all know who’d be dealing with most of it.”

“You would,” said Patterson.

“Got it in one. Like, I can convince most of the ghosts to either do their Beltane stuff in the Ghost Zone, or somewhere out of the way. They’ll be disappointed, but I can do it. The ghost tree thing, though…”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know,” said Collins, “get rid of the ghost trees?”

“Well, they aren’t really evil ghost trees. Or even really ghost trees. They’re more… ghosts that live in trees?”

“What, like dryads?” asked Collins, raising his eyebrows.

“That’s what I said, but they’re different species, apparently.”

“Okay,” said Patterson, “so. Appeasing the trees. How many trees are we talking about here, and how are we going to appease them?”

.

“Okay, so, this is definitely a whole precinct kind of thing,” said Patterson.

“And possibly an ‘all civil servants’ type of thing,” added Collins. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where are we going to get the funding for this?”

“Oh, don’t worry about money,” said Danny. “I’ll just blackmail Vlad, and if that doesn’t work, I can get Mom and Dad to pay for it.”

“What,” said Collins.

“I think this might be a bit beyond your parents’ budget,” said Patterson, “but knock yourself out as far as Masters goes.”

“Well, I guess if it is,” he allowed, dubiously, “I could get the cults to pitch in?”

.

“This is nice,” said Danny. The sky was a bit overcast, which was a shame, but the hundreds of bright flowers and cheerful music more than made up for that.

The May Day celebration was, in Danny’s opinion, a success. At least, this half of it was turning out to be. He’d have to wait and see how the Spirit Bonfires went tonight before he could really make a judgement.

He’d only had to blackmail Vlad a little, too. It turned out that the ‘ruthless businessman’ in Vlad was ludicrously easy to manipulate, and once Danny brought up how a celebration like this one could revitalize local businesses and bring in tourism, he’d caved.

Although, that might have been the threat of an angry tree army. Vlad had definitely come off worse for wear in the last one, on all fronts.

Then, publically putting the Phantom Stamp of Approval (and Necessity Given The Potential Angry Tree Army) on the event had gotten buy-in from his fans and (sigh) the cults. The cults were, in fact, very enthusiastic about their new Holy Day. Danny had made a map of all the places they’d set up booths, and was studiously avoiding them.

Sam and Tucker were doing a walkthrough of that area, now, to check for problems and unadorned thorn trees. They’d arranged to meet up soon.

So, Amity Park was decked out in ribbons and flowers. All of the schools had gotten Maypoles and the day off of classes. Several bands, both human and ghostly, were playing in different parts of town.

It was chaotic, but great.

Danny briefly cut into the street to dodge a pair of college-age men play-fighting with tree branches (a genuinely important tradition symbolizing the battle between winter and summer), then walked through a wall to avoid two ghosts doing the same thing.

Finally, he reached Madame Babazita’s table.

“Hi,” he said, “three readings, please.”

“Three?” she asked. “Just for you?”

“My friends should get here before mine’s done,” said Danny. Was he channeling some predictive powers? Maybe. Holidays did make his powers weird.

.

“I have no idea what your reading is saying,” said Madame Babazita, after fifteen full minutes. “The cards simply aren’t speaking to me today. Also,” she held up an Uno card, “I’m not sure how this even got here.”

“That’s okay,” said Danny, “I just wanted to make sure it was the same as last time.”

.

“Hey! Phantom!” called Ember across the crowd of ghosts that had gathered in the cemetery. Most of them were fire or nature themed. “You’re in for a treat!”

Danny, who had been examining the flowers left on his grave, looked up. “I am?”

Ember draped her arm around Danny’s shoulder. She’d been a lot more friendly with him since the corpse incident. “Sure are.” She stepped up onto the surface of his memorial, pulling him up behind her. Danny shook off a brief chill and looked around.

Ghosts were streaming into the cemetery from various directions, bringing armfuls of flowers with them. Danny could see two, huge bonfire piles of flowers growing near the cemetery gates.

“Are there going to be cows?” asked Danny, who was still fuzzy on the details of the ghostly side of the celebrations.

“I don’t know,” said Ember. “When I’ve seen this done in the GZ there are. Here? Who knows. Maybe we’ll just walk through.”

Danny nodded, unworried. Beltane sure was an interesting holiday.

The last armful of flowers was placed, and every flower in the cemetery caught on fire at once. Including the ones on Danny’s grave. Danny yelped, jumping into flight. As an ice core ghost, he vastly preferred cold to heat.

This went without saying, but fire was very hot.

Ember grabbed his foot, and he almost kicked her. “You knew that was going to happen,” he accused.

“Sure did, babypop,” said Ember, grinning. “Come on, don’t you want to pass through the bonfires?”

Danny eyed the very large bonfires on either side of the cemetery gates. They were lit up with sparks like fireworks, shifting like flowers blooming and withering and blooming again. They were beautiful and impressive, and Danny felt like melting just by looking at them.

“I don’t know…” He wanted to, but… melting…

“Well, if you want to go out the other way and be horribly unlucky for the next year…”

Danny narrowed his eyes. “Is that another trick?” he asked.

Ember’s grin grew wider, and she took off towards the gates. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Danny sighed and followed her.

.

“Unbelievable,” said McGee. “Absolutely unbelievable.” He gave the elderly cultist a boost into the wagon.

“I know, right?” said Patterson. “All this property damage and a low-key kidnapping,” she gestured to the hapless late night partier who had called the police when the cult got too insistent about their message, “and they didn’t even have the good drugs?” She shook her head. “Not that we ever arrest anyone just for drugs in this town.”

“I did not just hear you say that,” muttered McGee.

“We’ll make an Amity Parker out of you yet,” said Collins, heartily, slamming the back door of the wagon. He thumbed the button on his radio. “Any other disturbances?” he asked.

“No, you’re good to come back,” said the dispatcher.

“What I don’t get,” said McGee, leaning against a nearby wall in a moment of weakness, “is why we aren’t breaking up whatever cult thing is happening in the cemetery.” They’d seen it quite clearly on their way here.

“Because those are ghosts,” said Patterson.

McGee took a deep breath. “The ghosts are having some kind of ritual in the cemetery, and you aren’t worried.”

“Not really, no.”

“I hate it here,” said McGee.

“Do you, though?” asked Collins, sounding genuinely interested in the answer.

McGee opened his mouth to snap back that, yes, he did. But…

Hm. Huh.

Collins patted him on the back.

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 226

Episode: Yes! Precure 5 Go Go! 28 - “Coco’s Bride Appears!?” Date watched: 17 October 2022 Original air date: 24 August 2008 Screenshots Precure Metamorphose Gallery | Sky Rose Translate Gallery Project info and master list of posts

Preach it, Nuts

I feel like every series introduces a mascot character that is utterly unlikeable. FWPC had Porun. Max Heart had Lulun. Splash Star….eh Moop and Foop weren’t bad. Yes 5 had Milk. I didn’t think Go Go had one. Clearly I had wiped this episode’s monstrosity from my memory, because she takes the cake. Let’s *sigh* dive in.

EDIT: Quick note. As of this episode the imgur galleries are a bit different. I decided to try letting a program automatically capture screenshots for me, and then I went behind it and added and removed a few. As such there are going to be fewer showcases of individual scenes and more of an overview of the episode at large. This decision was made to decrease the wait time between new reviews.

The Plot

It's extremely hot out, and the girls they'd like to go somewhere cool like Karen’s island resort again. Karen mentions she has a mountain villa they can stay at.

Komachi captures a Palmin which turns out to be the third monarch, Princess Crepe. The princess starts acting lovey dovey towards Coco and calls him her fiance. Coco quickly denies this but all the girls glare at him.

if looks could kill

At Eternal, Bunbee sees Isohgin and Yadokahn leaving to go fishing. They promise to bring back the Rose Pact.

Princess Crepe is upset that Coco doesn't remember their engagement. When she explains the context, it turns out the “proposal” was Coco sharing some food with her. This is considered a proper marriage proposal in her kingdom. Not willing to admit the misunderstanding, she threatens not to recognize him as a king if he doesn't marry her.

Princess Crepe and Milk argue over Coco and Nuts's responsibilities to the Palmier Kingdom, and continue until they realize everyone else has left.

There’s been a B plot developing about Nuts handing out water to passers by, which now takes the forefront. Everyone else is giving drinks to the swarm of customers outside while Princess Crepe cries in joy to see Coco and Nuts smiling again after the destruction of their kingdom.

I&Y show up and turn a crawfish into a Hoshiina. The girls all transform and Princess Crepe is surprised that they're Precure & Milky Rose.

Princess Crepe retreats into the Rose Pact during the fight and Syrup accidentally drops it, so I&Y try to snatch it, but Rose gets in the way. The crawfish is overcome without great difficulty and the Cures finish it with Rainbow Rose Explosion.

Milky Rose starts to use Milky Rose Blizzard on the villains, but I&Y remember how much it hurt last time and flee before getting hit.

nope. don’t like that.

Princess Crepe admires the girls and thanks them for protecting Coco and Nuts. She says she now understands why they choose to be here, with people that protect their smiles.

Crepe says that the Palmier-Crepe Alliance will be strong after this, while snickering. Everyone stares in concern and the episode ends.

nothing nice is ever said with that face

The Analysis

What I Liked

There are some fun reaction faces in this episode, especially from Milk. And the glare Nozomi gives Coco when she thinks she’s the other woman is superb.

The B-plot with Nuts handing out water was decent. Just a casual display of wordless compassion.

The fight sequence was pretty good as well. It featured fast action and some strong teamwork. There were some attacks that were clever and creative and visually powerful from both the Cures and the Hoshiina.

The flashback scenes show that Coco has always been willing to stick his neck out for other people, showing kindness to a younger Princess Crepe.

Face faults are an anime trope that I love. Someone says something surprising and everyone falls over. This episode makes good use of them every time Princess Crepe talks about how Coco supposedly proposed to her.

Princess Crepe withholding political support until Coco agrees to marry her is the most realistic display of international diplomacy I’ve seen in this show.

What I Didn’t Like

Princess Crepe. She’s worse than Milk, worse than Lulun, worse than Porun. I hope her time in this show is brief and she very quickly overcomes her obsession with Coco.

I can’t believe I’m siding with Milk

Princess Crepe. Her obsession with Coco and their supposed engagement is so flimsy. I understand it’s meant to be upsetting to the audience, and it succeeds at that. I did face the question of whether disliking something the show wants me to dislike means it’s a good thing, and it is, but it still goes in the dislike column. If they managed to spin this into a lesson on consent and accepting rejection, I would place it in the “like” category.

There is astonishingly little Eternal in this episode. I’d have liked to see more of them. Even during the fight, Isohgin and Yadokahn barely do anything. They just show up.

The Hoshiina molts at one point in the episode but nothing is done with this.

it’s just a shell of its former self

As a summer filler episode, the art is on the low end of the quality spectrum.

Miscellaneous

Milk appears in her fairy form for the second episode in a row.

Princess Crepe is named after a crêpe, a popular French pastry that is basically a very thin, flat pancake. They’re served in a variety of ways, from individually with simple toppings, to stacks, to rolled up around fillings.

Princess Crepe refers to Coco as “Cocorin”. Her speech tic is ending her sentences in “kuku”, the first syllable of her name in Japanese (Kurepu).

Princess Crepe is voiced by Nishihara Kumiko, who went on to play Crescendo Tone in Suite Precure and Sharuru in Dokidoki Precure.

Isohgin and Yadokahn speak a little differently in this episode. They form full sentences but Yadokahn finishes them rather than restating Isohgin’s remarks.

Conclusion

Summer filler is strange sometimes. It’s generally understood that it will be lighter in tone and less impactful, and this certainly meets that description, but it’s possible to do lighthearted episodes well. Coming off the heels of the summer festival episode, which I overall liked, this one has more bad than good. Princess Crepe is off to a bad start as a character, but there’s time for her to redeem herself. Perhaps this will be a case where the monarch has more to learn from the team.

Next time, on Precure Daily, a new villain makes his appearance! Look forward to it!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Kettei

[live-the-fangirl-life]

It’s the Thought that Counts

Aelin Galathynius x Rowan Whitethorn - Birthday Oneshot

All Rowan wants to do is throw a surprise party for his girlfriend, but that becomes increasingly difficult as every possible thing that could go wrong—goes wrong.

I wrote this for my birthday on the fifth, but I couldn't wait until then to post it, Enjoy!

Masterlist | Read on Ao3

Warnings: Language, Light NSFW

4476 words

*******

“Are you serious?”

If Rowan’s hair wasn’t already silver, it would’ve been by the end of the day from all the stress this was putting him through.

Looking into the open cake box in Fenrys’ hands, he just stared at the inscription atop what was supposed to be a birthday cake for Aelin.

“What? What’s wrong?” Fenrys tried to lean over the lid of the box but it was tall enough to block his view.

“Did you even look at it before you left the store? Before you paid for it?” It took all of Rowan’s self-control not to scream. How many more things could go wrong today?

Fenrys shifted uneasily, noticing Rowan’s slipping control. “Uh, no. I was already running late, and you said to get back here as soon as possible to help finish setting up.”

All Rowan could do was let out a long, slow breath.

“This. Says. Alien.”

The blonde man holding the cake snorted, “what?”

“The cake says ‘Happy Birthday, Alien’”

“Seriously?” Fenrys was quick to put the box down on a nearby table so he could stand next to Rowan and look at it. “Shit. They even put little green Martians on it.”

All Rowan wanted to do was throw a surprise party for his girlfriend.

Was that really too much to ask? Apparently, so.

A couple of months ago Aelin had mentioned how she’d always wanted a surprise party, but of course, you cant ask for a surprise party because then it’s no longer a surprise.

Rowan took the hint and decided to plan something special for her birthday. He even got all their friends to help, and if everything had gone to plan then it would have been a perfect day.

Too bad he couldn’t catch a break.

Rowan had made a list of everything they needed to do, buy, and plan. It was an extensive list because he knew that a party for Aelin had to be perfect. Not because she had impossibly high standards—well, she did, but that wasn’t why it had to be perfect—it was because he loved her and wanted to show her how much he appreciated her on her birthday.

And he thought it would be the icing on the cake—pun intended—to have all their friends involved too. That’s why he was making calls to all of them about what they each needed to do for the party.

First, he got Lorcan and Elide to pick up the golden balloon arch that was going to be at the entrance of the park he’d reserved for the day. By the time he got on the phone with Lorcan, Rowan was already exasperated from having to deal with the city planning office in order to reserve the particular park and gazebo.

“Lorcan, I need you in charge of the—” Rowan broke off, hearing a loud crackling from the other end of the phone.

“You’re cutting off, wha— you say?” Lorcan’s voice was halting as the call cut in-and-out

“I was saying, I need you to cover the balloons.”

“Ba—”

“The balloon canopy.”

“The bo—, ca—”

“Yeah, we need a golden balloon canopy.”

“Okay, fine. I— got the— boun— ca—”

“Shit. Can you hear me?” Rowan pulled his phone away to check his service. It was fine from his end, it must be Lorcan’s phone being spotty.

When Rowan put the phone back to his ear, he could hear rustling and the sound of a car door opening and closing, and then the connection cleared.

“Yeah, man. I heard you. But, are you sure Aelin wants that?” Lorcan sounded skeptical.

“What? Yeah, of course, it’ll be great.” Rowan was already getting impatient, knowing he had a few more errands to run before he could relax.

“Whatever. She’s your girlfriend, and it’s your credit card.”

Rolling his eyes, Rowan muttered, “Thank you for your generous help, Lorcan.” then heard someone scolding Lorcan and grinned before saying loud enough for the other person to hear, “Thank you, Elide!”

Rowan hung up and mentally checked off the balloons. What was next?

***

“Aedion, please, I need you to keep Aelin busy for the day.”

Aedion and Lysandra had come over to Rowan and Aelin’s apartment for dinner, and Rowan had dragged Aedion into the kitchen to talk about that weekend’s plan.

Taking a sip of his beer, Aedion raised an eyebrow at him, “Won’t she wonder why her boyfriend is avoiding her on her birthday?”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “I won’t be avoiding her. You will very adamantly request to take your cousin to lunch for her birthday, and who am I to get in the way of family?”

Aedion snorted but nodded. “Yeah, okay. Lys and I can take her out.”

“No, Lys can’t be there.”

“What?” Aedion looked at him bewildered. “Why not?”

Rowan sighed. “Because if Lysandra is there with you, then Aelin will wonder why I’m not there with her. If it’s just you and Aelin, then she won’t think it’s weird that I’m gone. Besides,” Rowan took another sip of beer, “I’ll need Lys’ help during the day to set up that slideshow.”

“Right.”

The slideshow Rowan had asked Aedion and Lysandra to make using pictures of Aelin that would play during the party. The one that Aedion wasn’t going to tell Rowan hadn’t been started yet. “Yeah, okay. I’ll invite Aelin to come get lunch with me.”

“Perfect.”

One more thing off Rowan’s list.

***

The morning of the party Rowan asked Fenrys to go pick up Aelin’s cake. It was supposed to be a chocolate and hazelnut cake with the top decorated with kingsflame blossoms and say, “Happy Birthday Aelin.”

Rowan was distracted with setting up decorations and directing their friends to put away the things they brought. Dorian and Manon were in charge of getting the alcohol. Chaol and Yrene were bringing deserts because when it came to Aelin there could never be enough sweets. Fenrys helped Rowan bring out the rest of the food, before being sent off to pick up the cake.

Rowan did a quick scan, mentally checking off everyone. Besides the people he could see, he knew Lysandra was in the gazebo finishing up the slideshow, Aedion was out distracting Aelin, and Elide and Lorcan would be here any minute with the balloons.

Letting out a breath, Rowan smiled. Things seemed to be coming together.

Busy showing Dorian where the coolers for the drinks were, he was too distracted to do more than wave a ‘hello’ to Lorcan and Elide as Lorcan’s truck pulled up to the park. Rowan decided they were smart enough to figure out how to set up a balloon arch—or at least Elide could read the directions to a grumbling Lorcan, so Rowan spent the next half hour with other parts of the setup.

After he finished hanging up the screen they were going to use for the picture slideshow, Rowan went to check on the balloons.

He made it two steps out of the large gazebo and stopped in his tracks.

“What the fuck is this?” Rowan exclaimed, gaping at the large monstrosity in front of him.

Instead of looking at a beautiful, arched balloon canopy, he was looking at a massive, inflatable, child’s bouncy castle.

“What do you mean ‘what the fuck is this?’” Lorcan asked, wiping a bit of sweat from his forehead and stepping around the side of the castle. “This is what you asked for.”

“This is not what I asked for.” Rowan could feel his mouth still hanging open and quickly shut it.

Elide looked at Rowan in confusion. “Rowan, you did ask for this. I mean, I definitely thought it was weird that Aelin would want a blow-up bounce house for her birthday, but when Lor asked if you were sure, you insisted it was right.”

Rowan tried to remember that particular conversation. He had so many details in his head and too many people in charge of different things.

“Shit.” The phone call was coming back to Rowan to now. “We kept getting cut off. Shit,” He ran an exasperated hand through his hair making it all stand up on end. He swung around towards Lorcan who looked at him with raised brows. “What did you think I was asking you to get?”

Lorcan slowly looked between the bouncy house and Rowan. “You asked me to get a Bounce Castle.”

For fucks sake.

“I asked you to get a Balloon Canopy.”

Elide’s mouth opened in an ‘O’ and Lorcan said nothing until a moment later he was laughing, bent over at the waist.

“You wanted balloons, and now Galathynius has a bounce castle.” He managed between breaths, ignoring Rowan’s fuming look. It took Elide elbowing him in the side to get him to stop laughing.

“I don’t have time for this. Fix this.” Rowan waved his arms around at the massive blow-up castle, and then he turned around to find something he could actually focus on, trying his best to ignore the increasingly greying clouds in the sky.

“You still paying?” Lorcan called after him.

He let out a string of curses. “Yes.”

Rowan just barely heard the sound of air being let out of the castle as he walked away.

***

A shriek drew Rowan’s attention away from the chairs he was unfolding. He turned towards the gazebo to see Lysandra throw a small ice bucket, mostly filled with water at this point, at the screen Rowan had set up earlier.

The screen that was on fire.

Running in to help, Rowan saw that the candles placed around it had been lit—why the hell would someone already light them? The wind must’ve blown the screen too close causing it to catch fire.

He reached Lysandra just as she threw another bucket of icy water on the screen, dousing the rest of the flames.

“Are you okay?” He looked over Lysandra, but she just seemed shocked and irritated.

“I’m fine.” She gave him a reassuring nod before scowling at the destroyed screen. “This, though, is pretty much dead.” she sighed and closed her laptop she was using to work on the slideshow. “It doesn’t look like we’ll be showing pictures today, Rowan.”

He rubbed at his face. Fine. Okay. He could deal with this. They had a children’s bounce house and no slideshow. That was fine. As long as nothing else went wrong, he could deal with it.

As if in response to his thought, the day began to dim as clouds moved to cover the sun. If Rowan didn’t look at the heavy clouds, they would disappear.

That was when Fenrys came back with the cake.

***

“Alien?! I can’t give my girlfriend a birthday cake that’s calling her an Alien!”

Fenrys almost wanted to laugh at how ridiculous Rowan looked with his hair sticking up and face all red, but he knew this was just the latest in a list of ‘things gone wrong’ and was worried that if he laughed then he wouldn’t live to see the birthday girl.

“Maybe she’ll find it funny,” Fenrys suggested.

Rowan slowly turned toward him with an almost crazed look in his eye. “Funny? You think Aelin will find all this,” he waved his hands at the deflating bounce house, charred hanging screen, and the horribly incorrect cake, “Funny?”

“...Maybe?” Honestly, Fenrys thought Aelin would find it all hilarious but decided to keep his mouth shut. He knew how much work and energy Rowan put into this party, and he worried for his friend’s mental state as he counted all the things that had already gone wrong.

Rowan just dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

***

As soon as Rowan unpacked the last of the food, he heard a boom of thunder.

“This is not happening.” He muttered to himself, refusing to look at what was surely the worst thing that could happen that day.

A moment later he heard the unmistakable sound of hard, fast rain. The yelps from his friends broke him out of his haze and he turned to see everyone rush into the covered gazebo, careful to keep close to the center where they could stay dry.

Everyone besides Yrene, who had been helping Rowan with the food, were varying levels of soaked. And all the decorations they’d been holding were either stuck outside taking the worst of the rain or dragged inside to drip water onto the floor.

Rowan didn’t say anything, he just grabbed the beer bottle out of Aedion’s hand and took a long swig.

***

Looking around, Rowan surveyed the damage. Where a nice balloon canopy should’ve been positioned, a large, deflated, child’s bounce castle stood in its place; the screen he was going to use to show a slideshow of Aelin was burnt to a crisp; the rain pouring down was soaking the park and wrecking everything brought in from the cars, and the perfect cake for his girlfriend was ruined by calling her Alien.

But at least all their friends showed up.

That was the one good thing to come out of this disaster of a party. Even if they were all dripping wet and shivering from their walks from their cars to the covered gazebo in the middle of the park.

Dorian walked up to where Rowan and Aedion were talking about the cousin’s lunch. He took a sip of his drink and asked them, “So, what time is Aelin is getting here?”

Rowan and Aedion both turned towards each other.

“What time did you—”

“When did you say—”

They both froze.

Rowan slowly blinked. “Aedion, you did tell Aelin what time to come tonight, right?”

Aedion shook his head, wincing, “No, man. I was taking her out to lunch. You were supposed to find a reason to get her to the park.”

A dull roaring started in Rowan’s head. He thought over everything he had on his list.

Rent out gazebo: Check.

Delegate decorations: unsuccessful, but Check.

Order cake: again, unsuccessful, but Check.

Get friends to show up: Check.

Buy Aelin’s present: Check

Invite Aelin…

“Fuck. Shit. Fuck me. No, no, no, no, no… Gods damn it!”

Before anyone could another word, Rowan pulled his keys from his pocket and sprinted into the rain towards his car.

***

Aelin loved her birthday.

Usually.

She loved celebrating with her friends and laughing about the stupid gag gift they bought her. She loved making a wish on her candles and she even loved the awkward minute of listening to people sing happy birthday.

Last year, Rowan had woken her up to a particularly amazing round of birthday sex. Which turned into another round in the kitchen and then another one in the shower. He had also spent the day last year doing her favorite things and ending the night with a wonderful dinner at her favorite restaurant.

Which was why she had been so excited to see what this birthday would bring.

Her morning began exactly how she hoped: with Rowan’s tongue between her legs. He’d woken her up slowly, lazily, until she was squirming on the sheets with her hand fisted in his hair.

She’d hoped their morning tumble was the start of a very satisfying day, but soon afterward Rowan left saying he had to make a work call and she should get ready for her lunch with Aedion.

As much as she loved her cousin, all Aelin really wanted to do was stay inside with Rowan all day, clothing-optional. Actually, clothing-nonexistent.

But she did want to see Aedion, and apparently, Rowan’s work call was pressing enough that he practically ran out the door.

Lunch was nice. She hadn’t had one-on-one time with Aedion in a while, but she couldn’t help but notice how antsy he seemed.

“What aren’t you telling me?” She asked him after the waiter took their set down their drinks.

Her cousin choked on the sip he’d taken, and she raised an eyebrow at him.

“What?” He sputtered. “I’m not not telling you anything.”

“Uh huh.”

He rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing Ae, don’t sweat it.”

“It looks like you’re the one sweating Aedion.” Leaning back in her chair she smirked and crossed her arms. “Did you get me something you’re worried I won’t like?” she joked.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, exactly! Lysandra picked it out but I don’t know if you’ll like it.”

Aelin rolled her eyes at her cousin. “Please, if Lys picked out whatever it is, then I’m sure I’ll love it.” Her smirk turned into a genuine smile. “But, it’s from you so I know I’ll like it.”

He laughed but she thought he still looked a bit anxious. Deciding not to worry about whatever else had him fidgety, she let it go.

When she got back to her and Rowan’s apartment, she expected he would be there. He wasn’t.

Aelin didn’t think a work call would take the two hours she’d been out with Aedion, so she hoped Rowan would be back soon. She hadn’t talked about plans today because last year he had been so eager to take the lead.

So she waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Three hours later she was irate, hurt, and confused. How could he just up and disappear on her birthday? If he was busy—if something came up that he needed to deal with—he should’ve just told her. She still would be upset, but she’d have understood.

But he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t called or texted. Rowan hadn’t given her any explanation as to why she was alone now on her birthday.

Aelin walked into the kitchen and was about to pour herself a glass of wine when she heard loud noises from the hall outside her apartment door. It sounded like heavy, stampeding footsteps.

And then Rowan was bursting into their apartment.

He was breathing heavily, soaking wet, and looking at her with such an apologetic expression that she momentarily forgot why she was angry.

“Aelin,” he panted, trying to get a breath, “I am so sorry.”

Right. That was why she was angry.

She crossed her arms over her chest and took in his disheveled appearance, trying desperately to understand why he was so out of sorts.

“What happened to you?”

Rowan loosed a long, heavy breath and stepped closer to her. “Aelin, gods, I’m an idiot.”

“Yes, you are.” She agreed. “But, explain to me why.”

Rowan took another step towards her and she let him.

“I had a whole thing planned— I still do, kind of, but it’s basically ruined at this point—” Rowan started talking faster and Aelin struggled to keep up. “I planned an amazing surprise party for you, I spent weeks getting things organized. I had all our friends come out to help, they’re all still out at the park—I rented out the park—they’d better all still be there, anyway.”

He took a breath and Aelin’s anger slowly started to fade, but then she remembered sitting alone in her apartment for three hours and stared at him until he continued his explanation.

“There were supposed to be balloons, golden ones! And photos of you, and a cake, but all of it got ruined.” Rowan ran an angry hand through his hair. “Lorcan thought I asked him for a bounce castle— a bounce castle! Then the screen caught on fire, and then there was a mess up with the cake that you don’t even want to know about.”

He finally looked back at her, pleadingly, hoping she could understand how sorry he was. “But the worst part, which was one-hundred-percent my fault, was that I forgot to invite you to your own party.”

Aelin was wide-eyed by the end of his speech. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

Rowan grabbed her hand and looked down at her with sorry eyes. “Please, forgive me.”

“Forgive you?”

His face crumpled and he leaned to press it into her shoulder. She heard him grumble, “Fuck. I ruined your birthday, I’m so sorry.”

Aelin pulled away to hold his face between her hands. She waited until his eyes opened to say, “Rowan, you planned that whole thing? For me?”

His brow furrowed as if he couldn’t understand why she would ask that. “Of course, I did. I know how much you wanted a surprise party, but—”

“But nothing.” She cut him off pressing her mouth firmly against his. Rowan was too surprised at her reaction to reciprocate, but she pulled back just as fast.

“Okay, yes, not inviting me to my own party was a bad move,” He winced. “But, everything else you did was amazing.” When he still looked skeptically at her she continued, “the rest of that stuff; the weather, the cake, the fire, Lorcan’s bad judgment—none of that was your fault.”

Rowan finally cracked a smile at the last bit.

“So,” he searched her face for any clues, “you’re not upset?”

Aelin laughed at pulled Rowan down for another kiss. This time, he eagerly returned it and wrapped one arm around her waist and the other moved so his hand could hold the back of her head. They stood wrapped up in each other for a minute, deepening the kiss before they both pulled back for air.

“I’m not mad. I was, before when I thought you’d ditched me on my birthday. But I’m not anymore now that I know you spent the day trying to make me happy."

Aelin pulled back further to give him a stern look. “But I will be angry if you don’t bring me to this party right now.”

He pulled her back into him and let out a relieved laugh.

“Let’s get the birthday girl to her party.”

***

The drive from their apartment to the park was filled with Rowan telling Aelin about everything that had gone wrong. His fingers intertwined with her over the middle console and she listened as he told her about the crazy day.

“Why someone would light the candles so early in the day is beyond me.” He grumbled and Aelin chuckled at the bitterness in his tone.

“I’m sure the slideshow would’ve been great.” She perked up. “Oh my gods, that was why Aedion was so weird at lunch.”

Rowan glanced side longed at her. “He was weird?”

“Yeah, real fidgety, wouldn’t always look me in the eye. He said it was because he was worried I wouldn’t like my present, but I knew that was a load of bullshit.” She laughed, remembering how relived his face had been when she offered that excuse.

Rowan rolled his eyes but watched as the sky began to clear.

“Good, the rains finally stopping. I told the others to finish putting up decorations if the weather cleared.”

“There’s more?” Aelin questioned, thinking of everything he’d already told her about.

“A bit. I gave Fen a list of stuff to buy, but knowing him, he picked up some things that I didn’t tell him to. So, who knows what we’ll see when we get there.” He groaned thinking about it, but Aelin just laughed.

“It’s a couple of decorations, Ro. I’m sure they’ve got it handled.”

When they finally pulled into the parking lot nearest the gazebo, Aelin and Rowan didn’t get out of the cart immediately. They watched the scene in front of them in bewilderment

Lorcan was throwing a rope over a tree branch—Aelin assumed it was because he was the tallest—tying one end to the trunk and the other end was attached to a large pinata.

“Is that…?” She was so confused about what was happening.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Fen?” Rowan seethed.

“Fen did that? Why would Fenrys buy an Alien pinata?” Aelin suddenly had more questions than answers.

Rowan rubbed his hands down his face, muffling his curses.

“Don’t ask.”

Aelin watched as Aedion picked up the stick and took a couple of practice swings.

“What? They’re gonna start without us?” Aelin pulled Rowan’s hand off his face and made him look at her. “Hey. I know this didn’t go like you’d planned, but it's still pretty great, and everyone is here and having a good time. And there’s cake, right?”

“There’s cake.”

Rowan refrained from reminding her that all the guests had trekked in and out of the rain that afternoon setting up and half the supplies were ruined or nonexistent. Apparently, she could see all that in his face though so Aelin leaned over and kissed him.

“Let’s go, come on.”

At some point during their conversation, Lysandra had found the blindfold and tied it around Aedion’s head. The rest of the group, minus Manon and Dorian who had snuck off somewhere she didn’t want to think about too much, stood around as Fenrys cheered and Aedion swung.

He missed the first time, but as he prepped himself to swing again, Aelin and Rowan climbed out of the car and walked toward the group.

“Aelin!” Fenrys called, eyes going wide as he called her name.

Everyone else whipped around to face her and Rowan and yell “Surprise!”

Unfortunately, Aedion still had a stick in his hands; and he quickly turned, it nailed Fenrys in the head.

Rowan stood there gaping as Fenrys let out a loud sound between a yelp and a groan, before falling to the ground, knocked out.

“Shit! Who’d I hit?” Aedion asked as he ripped off the blindfold, and tuned to see what—or, who—exactly he had swung at.

Mostly in shock, a little bit in amusement, everyone watched as Fenrys slowly groaned, lifted his head only to wince and bring his hand up to hold it, and opened his eyes.

“…Surprise”

***

“You know, this may be my most memorable birthday.” Aelin was perched on Rowan’s lap, eating a piece of the outer space-themed cake.

Her boyfriend groaned and pressed his face into her shoulder.

“I’ll take it. Memorable is better than disastrous.”

She threw her head back and laughed.

After Fenrys woke up, Yrene came over to check on him and make sure he was going to be alright. She didn’t think he had a concussion, but she put Aedion in charge of watching him. His punishment, apparently. They were currently at another table with Lysandra, Lorcan, and Elide.

Aelin looked over to the other end of the gazebo and watched as Chaol and Yrene sat with Dorian and Manon, the latter was trying her best to pretend she was interested in the conversation. By the heated looks she and Dorian were giving each other, Aelin didn’t think those two would be sticking around too long.

Turning back to Rowan, Aelin smiled.

“Thank you, Buzzard. I love it.” She grinned as he rolled his eyes, but he tightened his grip on her and pulled her face down to his.

“Happy Birthday, Fireheart.”

*****

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