#debries is such a comedian

[sharedshield]

"I don't understand why Magnussen just got upset with me-"

Kevin is probably still traumatised from Canada, babes. When you didn't move out of the way and then outbreaked yourself.

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

In my daily update post yesterdy, I mentioned two attack drones sent by Hezbollah, that invaded Israel's north. It was later published that one of the drones managed to carry out its attack, and it killed a 53 years old man, Yechezkel Azaria.

It's not surprising anymore, but the IDF found another terror tunnel shaft hidden underneath a baby's crib in Gaza.

The Iranian Islamic regime, which has been murdering girls and women for "immodesty" (meaning, if they happen to wear their hijab improperly), has been using a network of Iranian girls to seduce Israeli soldiers with nude pics of themselves, while fishing for info, according to the Iranian oppositionary website, Iran International.

For the first time since the start of the war, aid trucks entered Gaza directly from Israel, rather than be checked here, and go into Gaza through Egypt.

Two days after rockets were fired from Gaza into Jerusalem, some of the debris was found, including in a kindergarten's playground.

A Canadian teenager has been arrested for his part in an intended terrorist attack against Jews in Ottawa, for passing on instructions regarding how to build explosives, and orders to carry out the attack. This teen is the fifth to be arrested for terrorism related activity in Canada since June. Looking forward to people condamning Canada as a terrorist state for arresting kids.

Just a small reason to smile... Israeli soldiers from the Jewish Yemenite community, were walking through the Machne Yehuda market in Jerusalem, when they happened to catch Jewish Yemenite music being played, and they spontaneously started dancing to it. One of the steps they're doing is known in Israel as "the Yemenite step" and it's very popular among non-Yemenite Jews, too (this is also the daily reminder that Israeli Jews are not European. As a side note, based on their shoes, they're either paratroopers or completed a parachuting course).

Here's a vid from Daniel Ryan Spaulding, a gay, non-Jewish comedian, who has decided to take a firm stance against antisemitism. Most of his vids are hilarious, this one is from a serious panel he participated in, and he speaks about the rage people felt, when he dared go to the UN to hear the testimonies about the sexual violence committed by Hamas on Oct 7.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by BREAK THE HATE (@breakthehate.world)

Lastly, this is 27 years old Inbar Haiman.

Inbar was a student, who was volunteering at the Nova music festival when Hamas invaded. She was taken hostage, and yesterday we got confirmation that she was murdered in captivity.

The past 70 days have been a nightmare of on going trauma and grief, because every single day, we learn of more people we've lost due to the Hamas massacre. Every single day I listen to the news, to the loved ones of those who are gone, giving interviews, or their eulogies being broadcast, I hear their voices breaking, and my heart breaks along, and it's 70 days of this hell, and it's not going to stop any time soon. Nothing that I write on Tumblr will ever convey the full impact, loss and pain of Oct 7, lasting 70 days and counting.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[sinsofthefather-kulemi]

Osaka Locations: Cabaret Grand

Majima's Workplace Sotenbori

Cabaret Grand (or The Grand) is a popular cabaret in Sotenbori located on West Sotenbori Street. It's known for its superb staffing: beautiful, usually graceful women, waiters and floor managers that do their best at playing refined men and none other than Sotenbori’s one and only Lord of the Night, manager Goro Majima. Guests come to experience Cabaret Grand’s unique Sotenbori elegance complete with live performances by locally famous musical acts and sometimes even comedians and they stay for the men and women doing what they can to help them forget what’s happening in the outside world. 

The Grand prides itself on being an escape when one is in dire need of it. 

The Grand’s signature is its gorgeous wine red and lustrous gold color scheme. From the door to the ballroom (as well as the runway leading to the dancefloor), the flooring is carpeted in a fine, (imported) saxony then completed with an intricately designed berber carpeting. The dance floor and stage are made of porcelain that has a strict polishing schedule. It is rare to find filth and debris on the floor of The Grand as there is cleaning staff on standby that roam and monitor the ballroom like hawks. Gold lines the runway, strips of it are neatly pinned to the nose of each step leading to the 2nd floor, the red damask seating is topped with gilded accents even the walls aren’t free of that Cabaret Grand gold!

There’s not only a cover charge and request fee that might threaten to drain the average wallet’s er, customer’s pockets. The menu boasts a pretty hefty price tag too! There’s not much way around it. The Grand’s hostesses are some of the most skilled and persuasive salespeople one might meet. This is why, while Cabaret Grand tries to welcome anyone with an open billfold, the intended demographic isn’t quite the average entry level salaryman. 

The Grand prefers their boss’ boss! 

There’s a large dressing room and locker room for the talent downstairs not far from the restrooms. It’s not quite as luxurious as the rest of the cabaret but it was designed to allow the ladies to comfortably get themselves together between clients. There are even communal showers in the locker room for the busy bee who may not have time to get home and do so before or after their shifts. No men are allowed in there. The red patterned walls are lined with vanities that are assigned to a roster of women per vanity. This was recently implemented to aid with narrowing down the culprit when theft happens. It’s not foolproof but the manager of The Grand has heard fewer complaints since implementing this system.

Just upstairs is the main office that also doubles as a breakroom for staff. It’s typically empty as most staff prefer to enjoy their breaks outside of the cabaret. It’s far more unassuming than the ballroom and the ladies’ dressing room combined. There are simple, cheap desks, jamming file cabinets and dusty chalkboards on one side for work and with the help of a partition, the room is divided, allowing a rest area on just the other side. The rest area offers a decent television set, two couches and even a towel warmer to help take the load off. There is a telephone in the office as well that has a secure line unlike the recorded line downstairs at the front desk. This allows people like The Owner to call in to The Lord of the Night and offer some… words of encouragement from time to time. 

Visit Cabaret Grand whenever you’ve got the chance (and money)!

[tickledpink31]

I’ve had this idea for a while, and the six pose dance song has been stuck in my head for a week. So, this new girl with the striking resemblance to Minako is an alternate version of Minako from another dimension. She’s now Mika, an orphan and high school student in Japan. Watch me as I make some self-indulgent found family content with a very niche part of disney.

Feel free to ask more about Mika and the recruiters

A few warnings: Content is mostly sad since I can't seem to make ocs without torturing them or giving them tragic backstories. I was also kind of sad doing research about orphaned children in Japan.

Bio

As a baby, she was found on the doorstep of a child institution without a single piece of information to identify her biological family. Mika has lived in three institutions and with two different families. Her status of being an orphan has often left her friendless and discriminated within not just her school, but almost every place outside an institution.

Currently, Mika resides in her second foster home with the Arai family that neglects her and only took her in to get the government money. She works as a waitress at a diner in hopes of surviving the adult world once her foster family kicks her out after she graduates from high school or even sooner once she turns eighteen in November.

Meeting the Villain Recruiters

(I couldn't find a lot of information on if Japanese schools going to field trips to Disneyland, but for the sake of this plot, just go with it)

Mika's homeroom wins an all-expense school field trip to Tokyo DisneySea set during the week leading up to Halloween. Much to her delight, she gets the opportunity to attend the Disney Villain Recruiters Atmos show event and the Sailing Day Buffet event. Little does she know, the recruiters are not just actors, but actual henchman of infamous Disney villains.

...And all 10 of them are scouting her long after the trip is over.

Personality

While her twst counterpart, Minako has little sister energy being the youngest in her family, Mika in comparison has big sister vibes. On the surface level, Mika can seem childish due to her naivety and her need for attention from adults. However, she’s quite responsible as she is rather efficient at time-management between work and school, doing chores around the house, and even helping the child care workers take care of the younger children when she was still living in an institution.

Mika maintains a soft-spoken persona, but holds strong convictions about how unfairly institutionalized children are treated and how biological parents aren't always good parents. She is more perceptive than she lets on as she is well aware that the recruiters are making excuses to spend time with her in order to gain her favour and later be recruited. She rarely voices her opinions and inner thoughts out loud.

Having spent most of her childhood as a lonely orphan, she craves attention and affection from others, especially from adults. In spite of knowing the ulterior motives of the recruiters, she continues to consort with them as they were the closest thing she had to a group of friends.

Abilities

Unlike Minako, Mika is not a witch or that much of athlete, but she's near-indestructible. She doesn't know why. She can survive the heaviest falling debris, gunshot wounds, stabbing, decapitation poisoning, and cannot be burned by even hellfire. Mika has only gotten sick twice in her life, but her illnesses tend to hit very hard.

Hey, I only said "near-indestructible."

Other Facts

Up until she was six, Mika was called Hanako Yamada or Yamada Hanako in Japanese. And no, I don't mean the little sister from Yandere Simulator or the comedian. Hanako Yamada and Taro Yamada are the Japanese equivalent of Jane/John Doe.

Her first family that she was taken in by was a sweet elderly couple who adopted her when and legally changed her the name to Mika Masaki.

Mika was among the very few children who got to live with a family let alone two families, but only because she has no biological parents and other relatives that anyone knows about that can ask to take her back.

Mika's first adopted parents taught her plenty of basic life skills in cooking, cleaning, managing money, etc.

Unfortunately, her adopted parents were beginning to experience the first stages of dementia when Mika was ten and were deemed unfit to care for her. The Masakis were placed in a nursing home and Mika was forced to go to her third institution before eventually being taken in by an uncaring foster family a year later.

Relationships with the Recruiters: A Summary

I'll make a much more in depth version of the relationships another day. For now, take a summary of their general relationships with Mika.

They seem to know something about Mika's origins, but why? It's like she met a long time ago, but Mika can't put her finger on it. She knows that they're planning to recruit her, she just doesn't know why her specifically. And if they wanted her to be their team so bad, why are most of them so distrustful and acting like she could fold them like a lawn chair?

That's how it was at first. Over time, all ten of them grew to care for Mika and started empathizing for her situation. They are slightly yandere-ish because half of them don't know how to act like regular humans.

Mika has a few love interests from the group, mainly being Jack Heart and Apple Poison. Why? Because they're my favourites and I have to have romance. I had this scenario in mind on Mika's eighteenth birthday and Jack Heart was the first recruiter who made his official introduction to her and brought a tart for her birthday at the end of their wonderland shenanigans. This is still just him with ulterior motives but still.

[myastrouniverse]

August/2024🌒♋️Happy Birthday, Ben, if you are alive.

♀️🔺 ♇︎ I want to seek asylum in Norway. Perhaps the Norwegian embassy can contact my family in Norway for me. America is nothing but a mafia full of pimps, whores, frauds, thieves and psychopaths. I’m not safe here and I can’t go forward unless I feel safe. A new country, new friends could be a good fit. I LOVE the PNW. I love my home town. I’d stay to fight for democracy, but no one seems to want democracy. I’ve been thinking about moving there for over a decade. Ben and I should have left when we had the chance.

🌞 Λ ☊ I haven’t seen my husband Ben since March/April of 2020. He was living in a sober house. He was coming over for a visit. He wanted BBQ and to watch a movie. When he got to our house, he was drunk. His clothes were torn and he was bleeding from his a arm. He went to the bathroom, cleaned himself up and left. He barely spoke to me and I never saw him again. I see posts of his on Twitter and Facebook but they look fake, like someone took over his account and posts random shit to make people think he is alive. I had to sell our house. I texted him to gather his things, but I received a text back saying, he wanted nothing from his ‘old’ life. All his expensive cooking books and cooking supplies, his theater books, his music, movies, tools, clothes, family photos, yearbooks. Ben was a hoarder. He never threw away ANYTHING. He had at LEAST fifty T-shirts he would not give to Goodwill, even though he NEVER wore them. That text wasn’t from Ben. I hate everyone for fucking with me like this. I can’t even grieve the death of my own husband. They are covering up his murder, I am guessing. We didn’t have a bad relationship. We were ALWAYS friends and Ben would NEVER stop speaking to me. It makes no sense, but I am sure the Nuciforo comedian mafia, probably knows. They seem to know everything. I am dedicating this Barry Manilow song to Ben. Ben liked Barry Manilow, which I found hysterical. Ben sang ‘Copacabana’ every time went out for karaoke.

🌒 < 🎸 It’s funny how being poisoned on my birthday was like a present. It helped move the rest of that debris out of my back. No, it doesn’t look like Mac & cheese anymore. I’m still tending my wounds but there is not much left, to tend now.

🌒 < ♅︎ My mother thinks it’s entertaining to follow me around and verbally abuse me every time I move. She is probably pupeteered by the inbred cunt Angie. My real mother could not give a fuck. I hope I get to stomp on Angie’s pig face until she dies.

🌒🔺 ♄︎ I can’t make room for more of your problems. Please stop blaming others for your fucking mistakes. I promise, people respect someone who owns their mistakes.

🌒 < 🦺Epson salt lotion helps remove dead skin.

🌒 < 🌞 I don’t know how to feel about what has happened to me. I don’t want to think about it.

🌒▪️🚑I don’t understand jealousy. Do better, be better. Why would you want to hurt someone for being happy? Why do you think YOU deserve someone else’s happiness? Why can’t you find happiness for YOU and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

Barry Manilow - Copacabana

Amy Beager (British, 1988) - Love Won't Save Us All (Tristan and Isolde) (2024)

[alokhospital]

What are some common types of skin treatments available for acne?

Acne is a prevalent skin condition that affects millions of people worldwide, regardless of age or gender. Fortunately, there are several effective treatments available to help manage and control acne breakouts. Dermatologists often tailor treatment plans based on the severity of the acne, skin type, and individual needs.

 Here are some common types of skin treatments for acne:

Topical Treatments:

Benzoyl Peroxide: Benzoyl peroxide works by killing acne-causing bacteria, reducing inflammation, and helping to unclog pores. It is available over-the-counter in various formulations, including gels, creams, and washes.

Retinoids: Topical retinoids, such as tretinoin, adapalene, and tazarotene, are derivatives of vitamin A that help unclog pores, reduce inflammation, and promote cell turnover. They are available by prescription and can be effective for both comedian and inflammatory acne.

Topical Antibiotics: Antibiotics such as clindamycin and erythromycin can be applied topically to reduce acne-causing bacteria and inflammation. They are often used in combination with other acne treatments to prevent bacterial resistance.

Salicylic Acid: Salicylic acid helps to exfoliate the skin, unclog pores, and reduce inflammation. It is available in various over-the-counter acne products, including cleansers, toners, and spot treatments.

2. Oral Medications:

Oral Antibiotics: Antibiotics such as doxycycline, minocycline, and tetracycline may be prescribed for moderate to severe inflammatory acne to reduce bacteria and inflammation. They are often used for short-term treatment due to concerns about antibiotic resistance.

Oral Contraceptives: Certain birth control pills containing estrogen and progestin can help regulate hormones and reduce acne in women. They are particularly beneficial for acne related to hormonal fluctuations.

Isotretinoin: Isotretinoin, also known as Accutane, is a potent oral medication reserved for severe, nodular acne that has not responded to other treatments. It works by reducing oil production, shrinking sebaceous glands, and preventing acne formation. Due to its potential side effects, including birth defects, isotretinoin requires close monitoring by a dermatologist.

3. Procedures:

Chemical Peels: Chemical peels involve applying a solution to the skin to exfoliate the outermost layers, unclog pores, and promote cell turnover. They can be beneficial for mild to moderate acne and acne scarring.

Microdermabrasion: Microdermabrasion uses a device to exfoliate the skin and remove dead skin cells, oil, and debris. It can help improve the appearance of acne and reduce the frequency of breakouts.

Laser Therapy: Laser and light-based therapies, such as IPL (intense pulsed light) and laser resurfacing, target acne-causing bacteria, reduce inflammation, and stimulate collagen production. They can be effective for inflammatory acne and acne scarring.

4. Complementary Therapies:

Topical Tea Tree Oil: Tea tree oil has antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties that can help reduce acne lesions when applied topically. It is available in various skincare products, but it should be used with caution due to potential skin irritation.

Dietary Modifications: Some studies suggest that certain dietary factors, such as high-glycemic foods and dairy products, may exacerbate acne in some individuals. Making dietary modifications and incorporating foods rich in antioxidants and omega-3 fatty acids may help improve acne symptoms.

It’s essential to consult with a dermatologist to determine the most appropriate treatment plan for acne based on individual factors and preferences. With consistent treatment and proper skincare, most people can effectively manage acne and achieve clearer, healthier skin.

[articleshubspot]

Today's Blog

[alexetism-blog]

Stardate: 20230914

Morocco (Rabat & Casablanca)

We arrived at Morocco and changed our timezone once more. As a queer woman who left Latin America trying to avoid infrastructural collapse, this country left conflictive notes in me; feelings of both high and low surrounded me. The richness of the experience and how much contrasting I felt, the ensuing sensory overload makes writing this entry quite difficult.

The first thing, was the slightly stressful part of the preparation, not knowing what to expect. The recommended dress code for women, the weather, and the unfamiliar ways of Africa caused mild anxiety.

As we disembarked, I quickly observed the port was taken over by seagulls, their estelas, and machinery with old chimneys that released serious quantities of smoke and contaminated at levels I’ve only seen in media. I knew this existed, and likely influenced by foreign interests, but to see it firsthand is a completely different story. I also noticed how women’s participation in public life was minimal, and how there was a lot of focus in gender… from the jokes our wonderful tour guide shared, to how people related to each other.

We were transported to Rabat by our guide, and passed by a lot of barrios with no roofs and likely no running water. I observed lots of debris along the way and soil rich in iron, until we reached the royal city of Rabat. 2,000 people live inside the walled area, and work for a dynasty of kings that has been ruling the country since the 17th century. No queens yet. The royal palace and nearby mausoleum were certainly beautiful, but what truly took my breath away was the Udaya Kasbah, which has been standing since the 12th Century. This citadel has been inherited by local residents throughout the centuries, and has turned into a dynasty itself. The amount of cats and beautiful doors and windows make the sight quite picturesque, but the lack of sanitation can certainly kill one’s appetite. In several occasions I witnessed naked bread being handled by bare hands and a constellation of flies that unfortunately made the bread look like raisin bread.

Luckily, our tour included lunch in a more sanitized and heavily guarded restaurant in Casablanca near the port with a great assortment of local cuisine, wines, desserts, and Moroccan tea. The eggplant in particular made me smile, along with just its’ beautiful “palace-like” decor. Even though it was a tourist trap, it was a good way for someone like me to get a taste of the culture. Our experience in general included a lot of people taking care of us in multiple venues, which makes me wonder about how “unescorted” circumstances would feel like. I must say though, between the employees who worked at the visited establishments and our tour guide, I’ve never seen people work harder. This is the inner conflict that, even though Morocco in general felt a little uneasy, the people who shaped our experience felt like they cared and would fight nail and tooth for us. Even if this was part of the “fantasy,” I was really into it lol

Our tour guide Ali was quite the comedian. This older gentleman with a distinctive mustache would say jokes to put us with delicate western sensitivities at ease with the contrasting. His quips even had amusing callbacks. He was talking at some point about women slowly gaining more rights in Morocco. One of these examples was that now husbands need to ask for their wives’ permission in order to get another wife. He then proceeded to make this universal joke: “The problem of course, it doesn’t tend to be with 4 wives, the problem is that man now has 4 mother-in-laws to deal with.” The bus roared in laughter. Later in the afternoon, the tour was interrupted by what appeared to be a frenemy of our tour guide. Ali was in the middle of one of his carefully planned speeches (which he gave in 3 languages), and this random young-ish guy just came to rudely chat with him, not stopping until Ali acknowledged him. After exchanging “pleasantries,” Ali directs himself to our group and annoyedly says: “Ladies and gentlemen, this man is my father-in-law.”

Lastly, the jewel of this visit is the splendor of a multimillion dollar mosque called Hassan II after Morocco’s former king (and the current king’s father). This work of art has no rival as far as I know. This mosque is the second biggest in the world, and it borrows elements from multiple heritages: Muslim, Christian, and Jewish. I personally thought I had walked into a fantasy palace, something out of a dream. I’ve never visited such an evocative and healing building. It is large, hand carved by artisans, with angles that match the heavens, filled with sacred geometry details, imperceptible technology (hidden speakers, rooftops that open to heavens), and a much envied location over the ocean, providing cool breezes that relieve the soul from the heat and from whatever that might trouble you. If you were to only do one thing in Morocco, visiting this mosque should be on top of your list.

Now, a general and more sadder commentary: this “together yet separate” vibe for the genders was hard to watch, although I respect of course that we all have different ways of seeing. I couldn’t help but think that this country would be more beautiful and maybe even cleaner if more feminine energy came in to bring balance to things. This vibe was quite triggering, since it reminded me of the heavy dose of machismo I experienced in Puerto Rico growing up as well. In Morocco, outside of holy places like the mosques, most of the landscape felt like the punch line of the common standup jokes we hear in the US of how bad things turn when “men take shortcuts.” This tension is such a common trope in North American television, and it felt like basically the kens took over the public spaces, reducing the virility of the collective energy.

This is not fact, but a likely unpopular opinion and generalization: At this point in human history, what we’ll call “traditionally-masculine” energy creates public monuments and works to impress the “traditionally-feminine” energy, and this tension shapes a lot of things. While ignoring the complex history of the region, and the foreign oppressive influences at hand here, the amount of unfinished construction, debris, and lack of sanitation makes me think that this world could use more visible women in the public sphere. The balanced tension of all genders likely makes the world better, and advance us into whatever’s next. To learn more, a great book to read is Robert Greeny’s Laws of Human Nature. https://www.amazon.com/Laws-Human-Nature-Robert-Greene/dp/0525428143

[motherdrita]

Tribute album flow band

#TRIBUTE ALBUM FLOW BAND MOVIE#

#TRIBUTE ALBUM FLOW BAND SERIES#

He now lives in Los Angeles with his wife and son and has recently completed a new ground-breaking album with Keith Emerson titled The Three Fates Project with the Munich Radio Orchestra, conducted by Maestro Terje Mikkelsen and has finished work on an album Beyond The Stars - Keith Emerson with the Academy of St Martin in the Fields and also the follow-up long-awaited third guitar instrumental album called Celluloid Debris available exclusively at. He also lectured at LA's Guitar Institute of Technology (GIT). He also composed for Comedy Central's The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore. He has done guitars for numerous films such as The Replacements, The Scorpion King, Spider-Man 2, Iron Man 2, Green Lantern, The Bourne Legacy, and composed and performed the music on the hit series, Justified, on FX channel, with keyboardist Steve Porcaro (Toto).

#TRIBUTE ALBUM FLOW BAND SERIES#

In addition, he had cameo roles in the 1997 television series Nightman about a crime-fighting sax player, for which he was the musical director and acted as a performer (with his band) in several episodes under the alias Marc Bonilla and Dragonchoir.

#TRIBUTE ALBUM FLOW BAND MOVIE#

Bonilla moved to LA in the early 1990s to work on TV and movie scoring working with James Newton Howard, John Debney, and others, earning an Emmy nomination in 2001. In addition, he tours with Eddie Jobson's UZ Project as singer, guitarist and bassist.īonilla is originally from the San Francisco Bay area and, along with Joe Satriani, was one of the preeminent rock guitar teachers in the Bay area during the 1980s. He has also produced, co-written and performed with the Keith Emerson Band's new album. Among them, EE Ticket (Reprise, 1991), and American Matador (Warner Brothers, 1993), which includes covers of "A Whiter Shade of Pale" and "I Am the Walrus" with guest Ronnie Montrose.īonilla currently plays in California Transit Authority, a project led by former Chicago drummer, founding member and Rock n' Roll Hall of Famer Danny Seraphine, featuring some updates to early Chicago songs as well as new material and has currently completed the follow-up album of all original material. Home Loans & Mortgage Refinance | Movement Mortgage He also appears on the Emerson, Lake & Palmer tribute album Encores, Legends & Paradox (Magna Carta Records, 1999) and a spoken word album with comedian Bobby Gaylor for Atlantic entitled "Fuzzatonic Scream" including the controversial single, "Suicide" in 1998.īig Dot Lighting - Commercial LED Lighting Specialists He has worked with Keith Emerson (including on 1995's Changing States and in 2006-2016 was featured in the Keith Emerson Band), Ronnie Montrose, Glenn Hughes (on Addiction (produced, co-written and performed), The Way It Is, 1999, also playing keyboards), David Coverdale (late 2000 live band) and Kevin Gilbert (Toy Matinee live band). Marc Bonilla is an American guitarist and composer.

[4point7]

THWACK - A Negan One Shot

Summary: a load of words slung haphazardly together to create a modern masterpiece. Written for @negans-lucille-tblr​ 6K Roll The Dice Challenge using the prompt “ I'm a slave to your games. I'm just a sucker for pain “.

Characters: Negan x Reader (ft. Floral Wallpaper)

Rating: 18+ but maybe less than 98

Warnings: All the warnings. Don’t read this if you get offended by anything typically Negan. Floral Wallpaper.

Word Count: 1,963 

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

The sound of the clock echos through your mind. It suffocates your thoughts as it reminds you of the monotonous grind of time. Every "tick" amplified through the dark. The space between each one extending for eternity as the silence between them crashes through you like unrelenting waves on a crumbling cliff face, slowly beating away at your resilience. The rest of the community sleeps blissfully as you lay there, your consciousness unwavering.

Tick.

You roll on to your side and open your eyes, staring blankly at the wall. The floral wallpaper, once pristine, now peels away slightly at the seems, unveiling the illusion of perfection, breaking the once perfect pattern.

The luxuries of the past have long been abandoned. What's the point in keeping the inside looking nice any more? Compared to the horror that lies in the world beyond the mildew covered window of The Sanctuary, the room you're in, even in this state, IS luxury these days. You only need to see a couple of Walkers have their heads smashed in to be cleansed of material desires and become satisfied with basic needs being met.

Another tick of the clock calls an end to the time you're willing to designate to falling asleep. You sit up and swing your legs over the side of the bed, exposing them to the chill of the air that your bed sheets were protecting you from.

You feel the layer of dust and dirt on the soles of your feet as they connect with the cold floor. You reach to grab your clothes from the chair next to the bed and pull them on, taking the time to dust the debris from your feet before donning your boots.

You open the door, trying to muffle it's creak by pulling it softly and slowly away from the latch before stepping out into the hallway. You would rather not wake anyone. People would get suspicious if they saw someone walking The Sanctuary grounds in the early hours of the morning.

You make your way along the corridor to the door that leads outside and gently push it open. The cool breeze from outside washes over you, almost through you, as it breaks into the corridor. You take a deep breath, feeling the air fill your lungs, calming you, if just for a moment.

The door comes to a stop with a soft thud, fully revealing the early morning landscape. The trees and buildings in the distance consumed by a mist that spills onto the roads towards you.

As you step out, gravel crunching underfoot, a glint catches your eye. You follow it to its origin, finally laying your eyes on the steel barb wire coiled tightly around a baseball bat, like a snake wrapped tightly around a branch. It's doing no harm where it is but anger it and it will bite! Lucille, resting by the man himself, Negan.

You wonder if you can back away, sink back into the darkness of the doorway but it's too late, even though he isn't facing you, you know he knows you're there.

He stands, leaning on a barrier, his folded arms resting along it supporting the weight of his upper body, leather jacket taught across is broad back. Lucille stands propped against the barrier beside him, perfectly inanimate yet still so menacing. It's like the bat had a presence all of it's own, bringing fear to many while being nothing more than a prop to the horrors of it's master.

You have wanted to be this close to Negan for such a long time but now, in his presence, you freeze. Just standing there taking him in, feeling your heart thump harder in your chest, adrenaline surging through you.

"You just gonna stand there pissin' your pants or are you gonna join me?" His deep voice startles you for a moment, you weren't expecting him to speak. You walk over and lean on the barrier next to him, staring out into the mist.

You sense him turn to look at you but you don't dare look back. Not yet.

"So... who are you?" He says in a gentle deep drawl.

"I am Negan", you respond, now turning your head to look him, traces of a smirk lining your lips.

He chuckles and looks back to the landscape. "Holy shit balls, we got ourselves a joker!"

You don't take your eyes from him, taking in his profile. It's not until you're up-close like this that you can see his imperfections, the lines starting to creep across his skin, breaking the perfect appearance, reminding you of that floral wallpaper.

"What the fuck are you doing awake at this time, Comedian?"

"Can't sleep", you respond.

"Huh. No fuckin' shit!" He pauses for a beat and you say nothing. "Me either."

"Why?" You pry and he lets out a sigh.

"Could you fuckin' sleep if you had to do the shit that I do? Smashin' dead fuckers' heads don't make my prick hard, Joker! Smashin' livin' fuckers', even less so but some fuck's got to protect and lead this community. They haunt me. Every one of the cunts marchin', around my fuckin' thoughts like they're on parade. That's why."

It's an honesty you weren't expecting from him. You had always been sold this fearless, unfazed persona yet here before you stood a man troubled by the actions of his past. Almost broken. For a moment you let yourself pity him.

"Does nothing ever help distract your mind? Help you sleep?" You ask.

"Fuckin' my wives! At least, it used to. But knowing their just fuckin' me out of fear has started to take the shine off the pussy, if you know what I mean? Shit! I wanna slip my cock down the throat of a fucker who wants it, not just because they feel obliged. Then I might have the release I need". His hand slips down and gently caresses the handle of Lucille as if unconsciously.

You're so close to getting what you have wanted for a long time and you know you can get it if you play your cards right.

"WANT ME TO GIVE THE OLD CODGER A DAVID BLOWIE?", you exclaim.

"Oooh err, yes please, if that's okay with you, like? If you like don't mind and stuff and that?" He says back in a melancholy tone not far from how a school boy might ask for his ball back when he kicked it into his neighbours garden.

"You want to?"

"WANT TO? I'D FUCKING LOVE TO!" you whisper. "GIMME THAT WONDER WURST!"

You drop to your knees. Ouch! You think. You should have gotten down gently. Why the fuck you decided to drop so hard no one fucking knows.

You undo his pants revealing his big, flaccid whopper. "It's flaccid." You say. "Yes" he replies.

You stick out your tongue and touch the head of his penis with it as though your testing an ice lolly to see how cold it is. THWACK! His instant erection ploughs into your chin, essentially upper cutting you, and knocks you over. His meat looks like a big fat sausage that's about to explode. You get back to your knees and take his shaft in your hand. "Hey ho, here we go, yo!", you sing into his flesh stick like it's a microphone, before... boom! You slam that happy package right on down your gob hole! Your head smacking back and forth like your headbanging to a heavy metal track. Your throat is making noises like a fucking plunger making hard work out of a toilet or some shit. Like gluh, ung, gug, guh, glug, guh, guh, guh, gug, gluh, ug, ugh, glug... ... guh, gluh, uh, ugh. You had to stop in the middle there to take a little breath. You are human after all.

Anyway your smashing his trouser snake and shit and he fucking loves it and all that and he is like "yeah, yeah, ooh, fuckin' yeah" and shit. Drool is all puddling on the floor beneath you and all that and like splashing all over the place, you know. Like, step off Shamoo, people need to be careful of MY splash zone! And you like grab the shaft in one hand and the balls in the other and stuff and your like working it like that. Your tongue giving it the biggun on his nut balls. Like slip, slop, lollipop mother fucker. Better tongue action than a fucking ant eater. You pushing your tongue down his urethra and give a good old lick all up in there. Then you start slurping on that junk like a fucking kid trying to get the last of their slushy. And his eyes are popping out his head and shit and he's like "Holy shit balls, joker this is a damn acceptable level blow jay." And you like slap it on your forehead and shit and like maybe prod yourself in the eye with it a bit, I dunno. And you like slap it and he looks at you like "uh okay, I s’pose" and then you slap it again because fuck it. And back in the face opening it goes. Plunger noise returns. And he maybe grabs your hair or maybe not, maybe if you're into that and you're not but maybe you are. And he is all like, "I'm going to do a cum" and you're like "pardon?" And he's like "I'm going to do a cum" and you're like, "sorry what?" And he's like "I'm going to..." and you stop sucking and are like, "I'm so sorry, I can't hear you over the racket". He's like, "ever so sorry, I was just letting you know, I was going to do a bit of a cum" and you're like, "Right you are, Sonny Jim" and stick his whoopsie back in your cock pocket of a mouth. Then all of a sudden, without any warning whatsoever, *pew, pew* he does a bit of a cum in your throat making you gag. Then like a fucking fireman's house, white spaff juice sprays out of the end sending you flying backwards as he drenches you with his load. Like DRENCHES you. When he is done, you pull a hanky from your pocket and wipe the corners of your mouth. You have some class after all.

You get to your feet and walk back over to him, a twinkle in your pink eye.

"Thanks Joker, that was okay, I really fuckin' needed that".

You blush slightly and lean in for a kiss. As your faces connect you take his lip in between your teeth and hold it there. You hold it there until you feel it go slack in your grasp, until his eye's glaze over and then you pull out the knife you had plunged into his throat, his blood starting to gush over you. His body goes limp and falls to the floor with a thud. The vibration knocks Lucille from her perch and she falls across his slumped body. You wipe the blood from the knife on your shirt and place it back through your belt, behind your back. You had finally got what you had come for and you didn't care what it took to get it. You didn't fear the walking dead but you did fear what someone might do to you if they found you like this so you decide it best to head off. You step over Negan's lifeless body and start your walk home. After all, people will be waking up soon and it's a long walk back to Alexandria.

... oh yeah! You sing "I'm a slave to your games. I'm just a sucker for pain" as you walk off or something.

[detectiveidiotboy]

His Time In The Commonwealth III: Deacon's Story

so as my beloved fanfiction, The Black Widow’s Waltz, comes to an end, i’ve decided that i am going to re-release the backstory chapters as their own stand-alone fic, since they read well as their own story. before that, i thought i might do a fun little thing where i release each of the companions backstories as their own post here on tumblr under the tag #his time in the commonwealth.

it is now time for part three of this little mini series i have. now that we’ve seen what happened to nick, let’s see how good ol’ deacon ended up where he is...

Deacon stood in the center of the burning remains of the Mercer Safehouse, staring at the man who set the place on fire not two hours earlier. The arsonist's back was turned, cropped black hair shining in the red-and-yellow flashes of the house fire. A woman crawled out from the debris - a synth who’d arrived just weeks before. She was shouldering a sobbing agent with cracked, bloody glasses and leg twisted backward. The man raised his rifle and gunned the two women down with an honest-to-god smile on his face.

Nate, you are one fucked up guy, Deacon thought as he stepped over the burning remains of an agent trapped under a beam.

“Deacon? Is that you?” Nate turned, eyes shining against the flames illuminating the light. “I thought I’d run into you sooner or later.”

“Yeah,” Deacon snarked, unstrapping his shotgun from his back, “I’ve been a little hard to pin down lately - Dez was always the one who assigned my ops in my downtime, but she’s been pretty distracted lately. You know, being dead ‘n all.”

“Morbid.” Nate chuckled. “I always did like your sense of humor.”

“I’ve been told I’m one hell of a comedian.”

Deacon pressed the barrel of his shotgun against Nate’s chest. The man stared at him, seeming far more interested than worried about the twelve gage of death aimed at his sternum. Nate was tough shit - but even he couldn’t survive getting all his organs blasted out by a point-blank shotgun round. At least, that was the hope Deacon clung to. “So, you wanna die here? Or is there somewhere else you want me to shoot you?”

“A surprisingly generous offer,” Nate said, lowering the gun with a finger, “but I’m afraid I have to decline. I have more important things to do than help you get some petty revenge.”

“Sorry, not happening,” Deacon cocked the gun, raising the barrel until it rested just beneath Nate’s chin. “Actually, you know what, nah - I’m not sorry at all.”

“I assumed not,” Nate said, raising his hands. “Fine, Deacon.” He said with a sigh. “If this is really how you want things to go, then shoot me - but wouldn’t you rather know why I’m doing what I’m doing?”

“Nope,” Deacon said as he blasted the fucker’s head off his body.

Except, that wasn’t entirely what happened. Nate stumbled back, almost fell over entirely, but despite the scattershot tearing through his throat just seconds before, his head was still stubbornly attached to his body. Nate laughed, slowly rolling his head forward until it was back on top of his shoulders, smiling widely. Deacon’s own vindictive smile dropped as he lowered the gun. “Shit… you really are immortal.” He said.

“That’s right,” Nate said in a sing-song voice. “Immortal and invulnerable. I’m basically the closest thing this world has to a god,”  He laughed as he took a step forward, and Deacon took one back. “Now, since your idea was a miserable failure, let’s try mine.” He said, stretching his legs on the tips of his toes and clasping his hands behind his back. “Don’t you want to hear the reason behind my supposed betrayal?”

Deacon answered Nate’s question by bashing the butt of his gun against the psychotic killer’s face. Nate, momentarily stunned, staggered to the side and Deacon was able to retreat back towards the woods that surrounded the safehouse. At the very least he could act as bait to lure Nate away from any possible survivors. It was the least he could do for them, since he was the one who brought their murderer into the fold.

All of this was Deacon’s fault; he’d accepted the risk when he brought Nate on board. Desdemona had told him it was a bad plan - hell, P.A.M had reservations about it. Deacon should have listened to the future-telling robot instead of trusting his own chronically poor judgment. It had just seemed too good to be true - a supposedly immortal killing machine who resented authority and had a major bone to pick with the Institute? It was like the Atom itself had popped down into the Commonwealth and built them a savior out of clay and nuclear ash. Deacon couldn’t have let an opportunity like that go - and really, he’d asked himself, what was the worst that could happen?

Apparently, the worst that could happen was that the Brotherhood of Steel made their little savior an offer he couldn’t refuse. Now Tom, Desdemona, Glory, P.A.M… hell even Cartington ! They were all gone. Deacon hadn’t been at the base at the time of the attack - Nate had seen to that. Told him to head over to Sanctuary for a surprise. Well, surprise! Everyone Deacon loved was dead. He didn’t know - nor did he care - why he was spared; the only thing that mattered now was putting a stop to Nate before even more lives were lost, both synth and human alike.

Deacon dodged and weaved through the trees. He could hear Nate following him not far behind. It wasn’t long before Deacon’s lungs were straining and each breath was like a stab in the chest - god dammit he was a spy , not a runner. His body was not designed for prolonged exercise. Deacon’s heart was beating in his throat by the time he was forced to slow down. He’d put some distance between him and Nate, but it wouldn’t last. Nate never exhausted, Deacon had seen evidence of that. His stamina was endless - must come standard as part of the whole ‘god among men’ package.

Deacon reached into his pocket and pressed down on a button. It was the last stealth boy he had, and it wasn’t entirely full. It gave him only a few seconds to breathe while he tried to figure out his next move. To his right there were woods, to his left… more woods, and in front of him was, as one might guess, a large expanse of woods. Deacon wasn’t nearly as familiar as he needed to be with this part of the Commonwealth, his basic mental map was insufficient for a midnight life-or-death sprint.

He had less than ten seconds left on the stealth boy. Deacon could hear Nate closing in, so he did the only thing he could think of and backed himself up against the bark of an irradiated tree. He pressed his lips together firmly as Nate wove through the clearing, head swinging back and forth like an attack dog. It was as if he was tracking Deacon down by the scent of his fear. Again, considering Nate's otherworldly nature, not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

“I know you’re here,” Nate said, a manic laugh following the words. He drew a silenced 10mm pistol from his jacket pocket, showing it off to the seemingly-empty clearing. “Recognize this, D?” He said. Deacon did - it was Tommy’s gun, Deliverer . The very same handgun that Deacon had gifted Nate on his official entry to the Railroad. “Seems poetic, don’t it? Whispers died hiding in the shadows, and now I’m gonna kill you while you’re curled up with a Stealth Boy in your pocket.”

Deacon lunged for Nate just as the effects of the stealth device wore off. He caught the man off guard, at least, wrapping both arms around him in a bearhug of death and tackling him to the ground. Deacon had no idea how he was going to kill his target if even a point-blank shot to the neck wasn’t enough to do it, but at the very least he was going to make Nate suffer .

Deacon grabbed Nate’s arm and yanked, using his foot to pin down the man’s back and dislocate the appendage with a swift movement. Nate choked on a cry - it was the first time Deacon had even seen the man externally express pain. Maybe it was the first time he’d ever been hurt - good. Deacon slammed the heel of his boot into the back of Nate’s head, aiming for the spine. Nate’s good hand darted up, snatching Deacon by the ankle and pulling him to the ground.

Suddenly, their positions were reversed, and Nate was on top of Deacon, pilling him down with the gun pressed to Deacon’s cheek. The dislocated arm was already back into place, its hand closed around Deacon’s neck and choking him. Deacon clawed at the fingers, trying to pry them off. Nate was unbelievably strong - even with how thin and nimble his fingers appeared they were perfectly capable of crushing Deacon’s windpipe.

“Tsk, how disappointing,” Nate muttered, probably to himself. Deacon snarled as the 10mm dug into his flesh. “I really did hope I would have a chance with you. You have such a pretty face.” Deacon felt the silenced barrel trail down his cheek and press against his left breast, “be a shame to ruin it.”

Six silenced shots rang out. Deacon seized as he felt the bullets slide through him, tearing his heart to ribbons. The delicate organ came to a spasming, sudden stop in his chest, and before Deacon realized what had happened he was dead.

Once the spy had stopped moving, Nate put the gun back into his pocket. Deacon's fists relaxed and fell away from the hand still clutching his throat. Nate's fingers lingered on the bruises he’d put on Deacon’s neck, savoring the feel of indents on the other’s flesh. Nate reached up and gently removed the sunglasses from the dead man’s face, folding them up and putting them in his pocket. “I never did understand how you could see out of these things when it was dark.”

Deacon’s eyes stared back at him, expression still caught between rage, terror, and agony. Nate frowned, reaching over to shut Deacon’s eyes for him. “Pity. You really were cute.” Nate leaned over and pressed a kiss to Deacon’s still warm cheek, then stood to leave.

Seconds after his heartbeat could no longer be detected, the auto-stimpack anklet Deacon was wearing deployed. There was no blood flow to carry the medicine through his system, but through the power of osmosis, defusion, and several other pre-war science words Deacon didn’t understand, the contents of a dozen stimpacks made it to the shredded remains of his heart. Veins reconstructed themselves, weaving together tissue and cells to produce a mass of blood vessels that would just barely manage to function as a pump. Five minutes after the drugs did their best to fix a literal broken heart, the taser went off, sending waves of electricity through the corpse of one Johnathan Deacon and starting up his pitiful excuse for a new heart.

The first breath Deacon took after dying was both the single best, and most painful breath of his entire life. The bright lights and sense of calm that death had brought him were replaced with an agony that the words ‘living hell’ didn’t even begin to touch. He couldn’t even scream, the pain in his chest consuming him so completely that all that was left were small, gasping whimpers as he curled onto his side and clawed at himself.

Every muscle burned as his body worked to repair the damage of going several minutes without breathing along with all the other things that were wrong with him. Nearly half a gallon of blood was misplaced in him, and there were still at least three of the six bullets still somewhere inside him pressed up against his recently revived nerves. Deacon’s vision went black and every muscle in his body was tensed. Part of him wondered how long this would last before he died again because there was no way he could be in this much pain without something being vitally wrong with him. The other, much larger part, trusted his friends’ genius and reminded him to wait the pain out.

“So, you guys want me to wear this thing?” Deacon said, holding up the ankle brace that had been given to him by Tom and Carrington. “Like, on my person?”

“Is something wrong with the design?” Tinker Tom asked, genuinely concerned.

“It’s kind of a fashion disaster,” Deacon said, fidgeting with the thick, untreated leather that made up the strap.

“It is a highly advanced revival device, not a fashion statement.” Dr. Carrington said with a roll of his eyes. “Since when have you cared about your appearance anyways?”

“Hey, my appearance is my life,” Deacon countered. “You should know - you’ve done, like, at least three of my face jobs.”

“Four,” Carrington corrected.

“It’s meant to be worn under your clothes anyways,” Tinker Tom said. “The design was my idea - Carrington’s work here is nothing short of genius, but if we wanted any practical use for this thing with our field agents we needed something easily concealed.”

“Easily concealed, right,” Deacon said as he snapped the brace around his leg. “Unless I want to wear shorts. Man, there goes my summer plans.”

“Would you at least try to take this seriously?” Carrington snapped. “This is just a prototype, but if we can verify that it works it could save the lives of countless agents. Unfortunately, the only way to test it is for one of our agents to become mortally wounded while wearing it.”

“And so you’re giving it to me? Gosh, guys, I’m honored, really.” Deacon placed a hand to his heart. “Voted most likely to die on a mission by his peers.”

“You are the one Dez assigns to the most dangerous operations,” Tinker Tom said with a shrug. “Don’t take it too personally. If anything, it means we want you around the most.”

Deacon couldn’t admit it, but that did make him feel a little warm in the chest area, but he and ‘genuine emotions’ hadn’t seen eye-to-eye in years, so Deacon gave his co-conspirators a wink and a smile and said, “Alright, but don’t expect me to run head-first into danger just to give you guys some data. If this thing actually works like you say it will, I’ll buy the first round of the night when I get back to the land of the living.”

“Hmfph,” Carrington huffed, predictably. Then, less predictably, he smiled and said. “I’ll hold you to that, you know.”

Deacon laughed as he came down from the high of agony that was recovering from a mortal chest wound, the sound pitiful and weak. The worst of the pain wasn't done yet, he could tell, this was just a short reprieve while his body geared up to continue its tantrum. “Carrington, you crazy bastard,” He muttered against the blood-soaked grass. “When I get to hell, remind me to buy you that drink.”

Deacon laughed and sobbed and spasmed until the sun was high in the sky.

[brekkercookie]

what would happen if the earth and all terrestrial objects suddenly stopped spinning, but the atmosphere retained its velocity?

ok this is oddly specific

but i have the answer

if you don’t like science, or don’t like extremely large posts, i suggest you keep scrolling

-

by the way, i took the answer out of a book i have, so this isn’t mine, it belongs to what if? by randall munroe

-

to answer your question anon, “nearly everyone would die. then things would get interesting

at the equator, the earth’s surface is moving at about 470 meters per second—a little over a thousand miles per hour—relative to its axis. if the earth stopped and the air didn’t, the result would be a sudden thousand-mile-per-hour wind.

the wind would be highest at the equator, but everyone and everything living between 42 degrees north and 42 degrees south —which includes about 85 percent of the world’s population— would suddenly experience supersonic winds

the highest winds would last for only a few minutes near the surface; friction with the ground would slow them down. however, those few minutes would be long enough to reduce virtually all human structures to ruins.

my home in boston is far enough north to be just barely outside the supersonic wind zone, but the winds there would still be twice as strong as those in the most powerful tornadoes. buildings, from sheds to skyscrapers, would be smashed flat, torn from their foundations, and sent tumbling across the landscape.

winds would be lower near the poles, but no human cities are far enough from the equator to escape devastation. longyearbyen, on the island of svalbard in norway–the highest-latitude city on the planet–would be devastated by winds equal to those in the planet's strongest tropical cyclones.

if you're going to wait it out, one of the best places to do it might be helsinki, finland. while its high latitude–above 60º N–wouldn't be enough to keep it from being scoured clean by the winds, the bedrock below helsinki contains a sophisticated network of tunnels, along with a subterranean shopping mall, hockey rink, swimming complex, and more.

no buildings would be safe; even structures strong enough to survive the winds would be in trouble. as comedian ron white said about hurricanes, 'it's not that the wind is blowing, it's what the wind is blowing'

say you're in a massive bunker made out of some material that can withstand thousand-mile-per-hour winds.

that's good, and you'd be fine...if you were the only one with a bunker. unfortunately, you probably have neighbors, and if the neighbor upwind of you has a less-well-anchored bunker, your bunker will have to withstand a thousand-mile-per-hour impact by their bunker.

-

the human race wouldn't go extinct. in general, very few people above the surface would survive; the flying debris would pulverize that wasn't clear-hardened. however, a lot of people below the surface of the ground would survive just fine. if you were in a deep basement (or, better yet, a subway tunnel) when it happened, you would stand a good chance of surviving.

there would be other lucky survivors, the dozens of scientists and staff at the amudsen-scott research station at the south pole would be safe from the winds. for them, the first sign of trouble would be that the outside world had suddenly gone silent.

the mysterious silence would probably distract them for a while, but eventually someone would notice something even stranger:

the sun isn't moving

-

the air

as the surface winds died down, things would get weirder.

the wind blast would translate to a heat blast. normally, the kinetic energy of rushing wind is small enough to be negligible, but this would not be normal wind. as it tumbled to a turbulent stop, the air would heat up.

over land, this would lead to scorching temperature increases and — in areas where the air is moist — global thunderstorms.

at the same time, wind sweeping over the oceans would churn up and atomize the surface layer of the water. for a while, the ocean would cease to have a surface at all; it would be impossible to tell where the spray ended and the sea began.

oceans are cold. below the thin surface layer, they're a fairly uniform 4°C. the tempest would churn up cold water from the depths. the influx of cold spray into superheated air would create a type of weather never before seen on earth — a roiling mix of wind, spray, fog, and rapid temperature changes.

this upwelling would lead to blooms of life, as fresh nutrients flooded the upper layers. at the same time, it would lead to huge die-offs of fish, crabs, sea turtles, and animals unable to cope with the influx of low-oxygen water from the depths. any animal that needs to breathe — such as whales and dolphins — would be hard-pressed to survive in the turbulent sea-air interface.

the waves would sweep around the globe, east to west, and every east-facing shore would encounter the largest storm surge in world history. a blinding cloud of sea spray would sweep inland, and behind it, a turbulent, roiling wall of water would advance like a tsunami. In some places, the waves would reach many miles inland.

the windstorms would inject huge amounts of dust and debris into the atmosphere. at the same time, a dense blanket of fog would form over the cold ocean surfaces. normally, this would cause global temperatures to plummet. and they would.

at least, on one side of the Earth.

if the earth stopped spinning, the normal cycle of day and night would end. the Sun wouldn't completely stop moving across the sky, but instead of rising and setting once a day, it would rise and set once a year.

day and night would each be six months long, even at the equator. on the day side, the surface would bake under the constant sunlight, while on the night side the temperature would plummet. convection on the day side would lead to massive storms in the area directly beneath the sun.

in some ways, this earth would resemble one of the tidally locked exoplanets commonly found in a red dwarf star's habitable zone, but a better comparison might be a very early venus. due to its rotation, venus — like our stopped earth — keeps the same face pointed toward the sun for months at a time. however, its thick atmosphere circulates quite quickly, which results in the day and the night side having about the same temperature.

although the length of the day would change, the length of the month would not! the moon hasn't stopped rotating around the earth. however, without the earth's rotation feeding it tidal energy, the moon would stop drifting away from the earth (as it is doing currently) and would start to slowly drift back toward us.

in fact, the moon — our faithful companion — would act to undo the damage this scenario caused. right now, the earth spins faster than the moon, and our tides slow down the earth's rotation while pushing the moon away from us. if we stopped rotating, the moon would stop drifting away from us. instead of slowing us down, its tides would accelerate our spin. quietly, gently, the moon's gravity would tug on our planet . . .

. . . and earth would start turning again."

-

there you go anon! sorry for everyone who still stayed here and hate science, but the ones who enjoyed i hope you liked your science lesson!

if you don't have the book or want to see the source you can read it, here!

[tabloidtoc]

TV Guide, May 10-23

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: NCIS: New Orleans' happy ending -- Scott Bakula and Chelsea Field

Page 1: Contents, Your Feedback

Page 2: Ask Matt -- Law & Order: Organized Crime, Chad, Younger

* Coming Next Issue -- in TV Guide's May 24 issue, we're cheering on America's Got Talent Season 16, which premieres with the same gang including Howie Mandel, Heidi Klum and Sofia Vergara

Page 4: TV Insider -- 25 top shows

Page 5: First Look -- Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas in the third and final season of The Kominsky Method

* The Big Number -- 465 millions of dollars Amazon will reportedly spend to produce season 1 of its upcoming Lord of the Rings series

Page 6: How to pick a streaming service

Page 8: The Roush Review -- Debris

Page 9: The Handmaid's Tale, Mythic Quest, Pride

Page 10: Cover Story -- Pride and Joy -- with backyard vows, a bride in red and one last dance with danger, Scott Bakula's NCIS: New Orleans lawman Dwayne Pride gets his happy ending with his girlfriend Rita Devereaux, played by real-life wife Chelsea Field

Page 14: Mom's the Word -- Allison Janney and the cast of Mom share the outrageous moments (the Valentine's dinner! the Tylenol spitting!) that made it a hit

Page 16: No Kidding -- Jean Smart leaves 'em laughing as a Vegas comic who reluctantly hires a joke writer on the new comedy Hacks

Page 18: What's Worth Watching -- Week 1 -- Death & Nightingales

Page 19: Monday, May 10 -- Nashville, Family Ties, Lifetime Presents Variety's Power of Women The Comedians, 9-1-1: Lone Star, The Crime of the Century, Race to the Center of the Earth

Page 20: Tuesday, May 11 -- Extra Life: A Short History of Living Longer, Little People Big World, Mayans M.C., America's Book of Secrets

* Wednesday, May 12 -- Married at First Sight, Home Economics, Nancy Drew, See No Evil

Page 20: Thursday, May 13 -- Young Sheldon, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Dark Side of Football

Page 22: Friday, May 14 -- Blue Bloods, Night Gallery, Happily Wherever, We Are Family: Songs of Hope and Unity

Page 24: Saturday, May 15 -- The Personal History of David Copperfield, Popeye and Pink Panther's Party, China: Nature's Ancient Kingdom

Page 25: Sunday, May 16 -- Poisoned in Paradise: A Martha's Vineyard Mystery, Naked and Afraid XL, Run the World, MTV Movie & TV Awards, The Story of Late Night, Good Witch, Murderous History, Fear the Walking Dead, The Rookie, Mare of Easttown, Fall River

Page 26-39: TV listings

Page 40: Stream It! Your guide to the very best streaming available now -- Netflix -- Amy Adams on The Woman in the Window

Page 41: Comedies of All Kinds -- The Upshaws, Special, Master of None

* The Sons of Sam: A Descent Into Darkness

Page 42: Prime Video -- Barry Jenkins on The Underground Railroad, Solos

* Britbox -- Line of Duty

Page 43: Hulu -- Some Kind of Heaven

* Discovery+ -- Clipped

Page 44: New Movie Releases

Page 45: Series, Specials and Documentaries

Page 46: What's Worth Watching -- Week 2 -- The Conners

Page 47: Monday, May 17 -- Max Greenfield on The Neighborhood, The Man in the Iron Mask, 9-1-1, Bob Hearts Abishola, Running Wild With Bear Grylls with Bobby Bones and fiance Caitlin Parker, American Experience: Billy Graham, Bull

Page 48: Tuesday, May 18 -- Tyler Hoechlin on Superman & Lois, The Resident, Catfish: The TV Show, Prodigal Son

Page 49: Wednesday, May 19 -- Cher & the Loneliest Elephant, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Life at the Waterhole, SEAL Team, S.W.A.T., Wipeout

Page 50: Thursday, May 20 -- Last Man Standing series finale, Manifest, Rebel

* Friday, May 21 -- Jungleland, Inside the Met

Page 51: Saturday, May 22 -- Wonder Woman 1984, Critter Fixers: Country Vets

Page 52: Sunday, May 23 -- Uzo Aduba on In Treatment, Perry Mason, American Idol, 2021 Billboard Music Awards, NCIS: Los Angeles, Black Monday

Page 54-69: TV listings

Page 72: Cheers & Jeers -- cheers to 9-1-1: Lone Star, The Conners, The Circle, Girls5Eva, jeers to ABC for moving A Million Little Things, Hulu's How I Met Your Father, reality shows in a rush

[harukamitsuki]

Aight, so I've been thinking about AUs and I just--

Hear me out, okay?

Boku No Hero Academia but it's a Music School.

Think about all the shit you can work with!! Like, Izuku is bullied for having a feminine and high voice; Katsuki is worshipped for being able to rap like a fucking god; Shouto inherits Enji's deep voice and Rei's soprano voice. Just fucking think about it--

They'd all have preferred genres too, so it could be unique. Like, Shouta would go through all at applications and portfolios, searching for kids he thinks have a good voice and are unique. And All Might literally has no reason to break Izuku's dreams so they never have the mentor-student relationship they have in canon.

The arcs would be fun to substitute as well. The quirk apprehension test would like take place in the auditorium and they'd have to sing on the spot without music and then do some DDR or something.

The Battle Training arc could be duo battles, randomised to coordinate on the spot with unfamiliar artists. Singing and dancing, if you want.

The USJ arc would be them practising performing a concert in different terrains or recording MVs. But then the villains would be anti-Yuuei people who broke in and it'd be one huge dance/singing battle - GON WRONG. Like, the Noumu is some sort manufactured human with a perfect voice box and trained to dance since it was made. They take it too far and break Shouta's leg. The students run and end up being chased into different areas. They're about to break Tsuyu's leg or arm when All Might comes in and challenges them to a dance/sing-off. He tired Shigaraki and Kurogiri (who just has like a black-purple bodysuit and mask on) and then they send Noumu out. All Might outdances him and Noumu just shuts and breaks down. The teachers come in and chase the anti-Yuuei people (fuck it imma call them villains) away.

The Sports Festival can basically be anything to do with performing. Like, it starts off as a gymnast race, sort of circus-like. There's a bunch of trampolines, monkey bars and swings. The second round is group performances. Groups of four and the team that has the most votes wins first, then second, then third, and then fourth.

The duels are where it gets really interesting. So Shouto does declare war on Izuku like canon. During the intermission (wherein Mic turns into a fucking comedian lmao), Shouto tells Izuku about how abusive Enji is. Enji picked Rei out to be his wife and to carry their children for her soprano/falsetto voice. His voice is really deep and he wanted to have an offspring with voice pitches. So, when Shouto was born with both (checked on his fifth birthday), Enji started training him. Making him hold a note while he hit his stomach or winded him. He was also abusive to Rei as she tried to protect Shouto. Eventually, again, she snapped and poured the boiling water on his face. In the present time, Izuku is horrified and then declares that he won't lose.

Ochacco loses her battle against Bakugou because he goes all out, improvising different dance moves which gets a boo from the audience because he's forcing her to dance and use her stamina up.

Hitoshi loses his battle against Izuku. He was bullied for having an insanely deep voice and being an insomniac and the song chosen sort of reflects his bullied life. (It's probably something like 'Disappear' or 'Survivor').

Then, the Izuku vs Shouto battle happens. This is the battle that has everyone on edge because they can feel the tension rising. Like, Shouto sticks to low songs like Jazz, while Izuku goes for higher songs like Ariane Grande. And when everyone thinks Izuku's gonna win, he holds out a hand to Shouto while singing 'Take the mask off to be free/Fought it out in the debris/Now you know that life will change!' from 'Wake up, Get up, Get out there' from Persona 5.

And then Shouto, while brimming with tears, starts singing 'This is the part when I say that I'm stronger!/I should be wiser and realise that I've GOT!' And the crowd is in fucking awe at the high note, because Shouto has only ever sung baritone - and he just sang a high A, maybe even F. Enji's fucking ecstatic but Shouto doesn't even care because he's not focusing on Enji anymore. He's singing for himself now, not to spite his rotten father. Shouto ends up winning and Izuku passes out from the exhaustion of winning the first and second round and all the dancing he did.

Tenya is used by Hatsume to present the microphones she's made. He has to go home early to visit his brother in the hospital. Back on that later.

Shouto loses his duel with Katsuki because trauma isn't so easy to forget. Katsuki gets pissed when Shouto faints halfway through - from the physical and mental exhaustion. They don't chain Katsuki up, but they do force him on the stand by standing in front, behind, and either side to him. Shouto gets second and Tokoyami gets third.

The Hero Killer Arc is a lot less gruesome than canon. Stain isn't a serial killer, but he does end careers. He meets artists/dancers in an alleyway and challenges them to a sing-off at a nearby karaoke bar. If they win, they can call the police on them. If he wins, he can break their legs or strangle them. So, he's more of a psychological criminal than a murderous one.

He did this to Tensei who lost and had his legs broken - though not to the extent of others who were given the hammer treatment.

Tenta finds him an alleyway, breaking Native's ankle with a gag in the latter's mouth. And he's all like, if you win, you can break my legs. If I win, I can break yours and hand you in. Stain denies. He tackles Tenya to the ground and brings out a hammer. Before he does anything, Stain messes with him ("If you were any good a person, you would save Native from being harmed any further. Instead, you challenge with the intent to damage.").

Native can't do anything with a smashed ankle and hands tied behind his back, unable to get the gag out. Stain's about to make the first break when Izuku runs in, tackling Stain and yelling for Tenya to get Native and run. Tenya tries to argue, claiming that Izuku wasn't part of this. But then Izuku rips him a new one. ("I don't care! You're my friend, Iida. I don't want to see you throw your entire career away for some petty revenge! Just get Native and fucking RUN!").

Stain is fucking delighted because finally, a music artist has some sense. He goes on about the other artists being greedy - saying that they had the choice to decline his challenge and yet they all chose pride over their careers. Even Tensei. And Tenya fucking snaps. He challenges Stain again, offering his life as a forfeit and demanding to take his. And then Izuku snaps - he's like "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?" He fucking bashes on Tenya, claiming that if he were half the man his brother was, he'd listen to him and run away with Native.

And then Stain turns the tables, turning around, pinning Izuku to the ground and snaps his ankle. And Izuku's in so much pain like -- he doesn't even have the gag so Tenya and Native hear him scream in pain. Izuku's broken bones before while dancing or simply falling, but it's never been so painful.

And Stain is just like "I want to see you become a star, so I won't end your career. I just want to make it so you can't move." And he's about to snap his other ankle when Shouto comes in and throws a fucking steeled-toe boot he found lying around. It turns out, just before Izuku ran in, he sent his co-ords and Shouto got concerned.

Tenya gets over his shit when Shouto tells him to be someone his brother can be proud of after Stain throws a broken bottle at his arm. He ends up tackling Stain and disarms him of the hammer. And he's all like "Midoriya! I apologize for my actions! I will make up for it, I promise!" And he apologises to Native for forgetting about him and focusing more on revenge.

Shouto reveals that he's called the police and Stain panics. He like throws Tenya off him (who's head smashes against the ground. He's sort of bleeding and concussed but he tries to get up) and lunges for his hammer which in Izuku's hands (who is now backed up against the wall). But then Shouto comes in again and wacks an advertisement board over his head. Izuku takes it upon himself to elbow his neck which does the trick and knocks Stain out. Tenya helps Native out while Shouto helps Izuku.

The police arrive, arrest Stain, and they all go to the hospital.

Tenya apologises again, but they're like "it's okay as long as you've learned from your mistakes". The story gets around about how Native and three artists in training survived an encounter with the Career Killer Stain and got him arrested. Because there are no laws against self-defence (especially when they only knocked him out), there is no cover story. But they still don't tell anyone about why they even encountered Stain.

The Final Exams are pretty much the same as round three of the Sports Festival, except duos against a teacher. The teacher they go up against gets to decide the contents. Like Nedzu makes Mina and Denki dance for the ten minutes and if even on of them is still able to go on, they pass. If not, they fail.

Izuku and Katsuki are paired against All Might like in canon. His is that they have to coordinate in a dance-singing battle with the song and genre alternating. As an alternative, if they are able to escape his radar, the faux paparazzi, and the arena, they win. It starts basically the same as canon, with Katsuki wanting to do the latter, refusing to coordinate with Izuku. But Izuku wants to do the dance-battle as they have a better chance with it.

Eventually, after Izuku tells Katsuki about how horrible and depressed he made him feel for the majority of their lives, and Katsuki reluctantly tells him that he was jealous that Izuku was able to sing so high, they come to an agreement. They dance and sing, edging to the exit. So, if they don't make it out on time, they can still pass. They make it out with Katsuki out of the gate and spinning Izuku into him (not Katsudeku/Bakudeku).

Shouto and Momo can only pass if they get a high enough score on the karaoke and beat Shouta's highest score (99) In the ten minutes they have, they can only sing about three or four songs. And they try so many different songs to incorporate Shouto's baritone and falsetto. He realises his mistake and asks Momo for her range. She can sing falsetto, and can even scream-whistle. So, they combine their voices simultaneously, reaching 100 and are able to pass.

The training camp arc is just building up stamina, instrument practises, practising dance moves, and expanding your range. The villains attack, kidnap Katsuki (who looked less than happy during the sports festival) and almost kill Kouta.

Kouta is saved by Izuku, again, from Muscular. He was a dancer who challenged many dancers to a dance battle. He went against the water horses and took their life as a forfeit. They managed to fight back as ice-skaters and dug a blade into his eye. Izuku carries Kouta in his arms and practically runs down the mountain, careful not to trip. Muscular tries to follow but ends up falling and knocking himself out on a tree.

Himiko is able to perfectly mimic someone's voice and dance style. Dabi is Touya, but he ran away after Enji went too far and almost burnt his throat. Muscular simply used knock-out gas. Mr Compress literally just cuffed Katsuki and Shouto, though Shouto was freed after Mezou throws like a branch and stone, causing Shouto to slip from his grasps. They escape using smoke bombs and a getaway helicopter.

The canonical rescue group go undercover. To let Katsuki escape, they get a motorbike (Momo has one) and Eijirou holds a hand out for Katsuki to hold onto. They drive next to him, Eijirou pulls him on, and they drive away.

All Might is faced with All for One. Instead of dancing, they actually fight. It's in this fight that All for One punches his wound. Unable to keep this form (because it's still like two centuries into the future and they probably made something to make this happen), All Might deflates into Toshinori Yagi. Now the whole world knows. He eventually musters enough energy to punch All for One's temple, rendering him braindead. But he receives no backlash because it's self-defence. All for One attacked first. And AfO is guilty of kidnapping, murder, extortion, blackmail and so on.

The dorms are implemented and each of their rooms has something to do with their preferred genre.

The super moves thing is just them creating a finishing move for dances.

The provision licence exam is just them meeting other music academies and having sing-offs and dance battles with them. They probably have to team up at one point, which is where the whole Inasa-Shouto problem comes in. Because they want to get a good score, but Shouto's deep voice and Inasa's mid-tone one conflict. Eventually, after Izuku scolds them, they have Shouto do a background tone while Inasa sings at the forefront.

Izuku and Katsuki dance together (AS FRIENDS) while they open their hearts. Katsuki is really affected by ending All Might while Izuku just really wants them to start over. They start calling each other by first names or just different nicknames to signify this.

The Big Three is still a thing. Except that it's talents instead of quirks. Mirio has a deep, booming voice; Tamaki is great at dancing; Nejire has mastered most of the instruments.

There's still the mafia. But instead of quirk-cancelling drugs, they kidnap and sell singers. Eri has been captured for her talents even at a young age. Nighteye is on the case, with Izuku and Mirio helping. Izuku bumps into Eri and Chisaki finds them. Instead of ordering Eri to come back, he knocks them both out and kidnaps Izuku as well. While fighting the chloroform in his system, Izuku leaves the pass that allowed him access into the staff area of Nighteye's agency.

Mirio finds his pass and brings it to Nighteye. They end up being blackmailed by the yakuza ("Bring your singers here or the boy dies"). He brings the Yuuei students in the area and the police to the Yakuza where they stage a rescue.

Meanwhile, Izuku tries to escape a good few times, always being caught and thrown back into a cell. Eventually, he gets shoved in with Eri and they bond a bit with Izuku promising to get Eri out with him.

Nighteye doesn't die, but he does get a spinal injury that will never allow him to walk, much less dance, again. Mirio also does not lose the ability to sing or dance, but he is strangled to the point that he loses his voice for a week or so.

And then the whole getting Eri to cheer up is mostly the same except it's a lot more intricate and professional than in canon.

And I'm gonna stop there so I don't go into manga spoilers.

But seriously, BNHA - Music?? Anyone interested??

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 3)

So yeah, this is gonna be my first time writing for zutara, so I have no idea how well that will be received. I know that this fandom doesn’t seem to like zutara so wish me luck lol.

Sokka always liked fish, particularly boop boops because of their silly name. He also liked blue marlin.

She likes stingrays--especially bluespotted ribbon tail--the most but they call her starfish. 

She has come to associate her friends with marine life, a habit that formed at childhood. One that she and Zuko have never outgrown. At one point they had addressed each other by the names of sea animals.

Zuko got the name stingray after an incident where he’d jammed a fork into an outlet when Ozai wasn’t watching. It scarred his face and their father was under fire, for the first time, for child neglect. 

Sokka was a clownfish because he was the comedian in the group and he had been until his departure. Sailfish has been bestowed upon Katara after dolphin had been taken from her and given to Ursa. Mother was gentle and docile like a dolphin. Katara is too but she is also a fast swimmer. She can swim further out into the ocean than any of them and sailfish are known for their speed. TyLee is also loving and sweet but as kids they had run out of gentle animals to compare her to so they chose the pretty betta fish because TyLee has always been pretty. Eventually they learned about cuttlefish and that became her nickname; it sounds close enough to cuddle for them. 

Aang is an obvious angelfish.

Where Katara, Ursa, Tylee, and Aang are kind and caring, Toph is a shark. She’s fun and dangerous and with a razor sharp tongue. She is among Chan, Jet and Roun-Jian who have been nicknamed  Hammerhead, Sand, and Thresher respectively. The name Mackerel was afforded to Toph despite her being the smallest of them. 

Mai is the piranha mostly because she had been afraid of them at one point and they like to joke that Tom-Tom is a barancel because he clings to Mai like one. Iroh is a serene turtle and Suki is lucky koi.

Ozai is and will always be a crab because is general outlook on life is grumpy. Zhao, the weathered fisherman is a slick and shady eel and their old history teacher Long-Feng is an angler fish; it looks welcoming on the surface but is ugly within. And the bartender is a prickly urchin. They steer clear of he and his wife June, who they have called the Kraken. 

It was a fun game and to this day she has a tendency, even if it is out of habit, to try to decide which sea animal a newcomer is. 

.oOo.

Azula wakes up on the sofa. It is still raining, fat droplets plop upon the lighthouse. There are less of them but it is still a steady stream. She senses that the worst of it has come to pass and it is probably safe to go outside if she doesn’t mind getting wet. In fact, most people do go out. They emerge skeptically from their homes, reluctant to assess the damage, but eager to just get it over with. It is routine in their little harbor town. 

The people of Port Tui-La are slowly awakening, Azula watches them trickle outside of their homes to inspect them. Many of them, the ones who live more inland, skip this and prioritize checking on their shops or their boats. Though boats are almost always a lost cause, hence why Ozai keeps theirs in a boat house. The news of three summers ago was when recreational fisher, Pathik boldly declared that he had found his janky wooden ship fully intact in a rocky alcove while the Cod Man bellowed, “my fishing ship!” to the fleeing grey clouds. 

She watches the Cod seller’s car whip down the road, he is always the first to arrive at the docks. Azula rolls her eyes, she can already hear him crying out. 

“He must have great insurance.” Zuko grumbles as he groggily wipes his eyes. “I hope he does.”

“Maybe he won’t need it this time?” Azula stretches her arms. 

“Ha!” Zuko bursts. “I bet he’ll be La-bsters, crying about it within the hour.” 

“If La-bsters is still standing.” Azula says dismally. “This storm was pretty bad.” Her heart sinks for Hakoda and Katara. They have already lost Sokka, if they’ve lost their restaurant too… “We’ll walk over there.” 

“Shouldn’t we check on the lighthouse first?”

Azula shakes her head. “It was built to withstand storms.”

“I can get the car started.”

She shakes her head. “Too many debris in the road, it’ll be quicker on foot.” 

“We’re going to have to clean this first.” He gestures to the blockage at the door.

Azula rubs the back of her head and grumbles to herself as she begins heaving the furniture back into its place. To the best of their memory, everything is back in order about twenty minutes later. By now the rain is beginning to taper off, but she speculates that it will come back in furious bursts and random intervals.

She shuffles around for two umbrellas and shoves one into Zuko’s arms. 

She pops her umbrella as she steps beneath a grey washed sky. Small rays of light break through the clouds, but do little to lift the gloom. The destruction is abundantly apparent as the siblings make their way down the path that leads from the lighthouse to the boardwalk. It isn’t a very long walk but they can see the damage inflicted upon the houses of their nearest neighbors. 

The worst of them has a collapsed roof and another has flood damage to the ocean facing wall. Even from this distance she can tell that the boardwalk has been hit hard. After many decades of standing proud and secure, a particularly powerful wave, or mayhaps, a bolt of lightning has collapsed one of the corner pillars. It is splintered down the middle and juts from the lapping water like a broken tree trunk. All around it float planks of wood, chairs, stools, and other buoyant knick knacks. Several of the tourist shops, the ones nearest to the collapsed scaffolding are gone.

Gone in the sense that they are unusable and irreparable. She can see their dilapidated corpses, laying helplessly in the ocean, waiting for the ocean to finish the job. Their rubble will pollute the beaches for days. Likely, the beaches will be closed to the public until the damage can be cleared. 

Azula’s favorite jewelry shop, Mai’s family’s jewelry shop, is amid the wreckage and she silently curses to herself, wishing that it could have been that damned pub instead, maybe then her father would be rushing down the street to make sure that she and Zuzu are alright. 

It very nearly brings tears of frustration to her eyes. She clenches her fist in her pocket and steps over a broken palm tree, its coconuts roll down the incline of the street. 

From what she can see, the La-bster still stands. Though she can’t foresee it opening any time soon. Much like the beaches, it will remain closed until the boardwalk can be repaired and safety secured. Even if the boardwalk were deemed safe enough, the rubble is an eyesore. 

The restaurant may stand but they are still going to take a financial hit, losing that much business at the height of tourist season. 

Hakoda and Katara are already there when she and Zuko arrive. 

“Zuko, Azula!” She throws her arms around both of them at once. When she pulls back, Azula can tell that she has been crying. Her eyes are red and there are tear tracks on her cheeks. Azula doesn’t need to ask her what is wrong but Zuko does anyhow.

“We can’t reopen like this.” She confirms what Azula has speculated. “Waitressing at La-bsters is the only thing that’s kept my mind off of…” She trails off. “Even when the restaurant is super busy I’ll think of him. About how he’d always take the difficult customers from me. Or that one time he threatened to throw a man into the harbor for me.” She wipes at her eyes. 

Azula laughs, that sounds like Sokka for sure.

“Need help with cleanup?” Zuko offers. 

“That would be wonderful, thanks.” 

Azula frowns, she must admit that she hadn’t planned on spending her morning moving heavy planks of wood and fixing outdoor decor. She looks around, there is plenty of that to be cleaned; strings of patio lights are either gone, have cracked bulbs, or are tangled and knotted around palm fronts and rafters in unflattering ways. Outdoor chairs and tables are overturned. Some of them are in neighboring properties and the La-bsters have a few chairs from the Cod Merchant’s Cod Shack. The floor is a mess of glass and broken plastic and Azula has no idea where to begin this task. She has no will power to do it either. Evidently she had just come by to make sure that the place was still standing and that her childhood friend is okay.

Task done.

She retracts that statement. “I’m going to see if I can reach Mai, I don’t think that she knows about…” she jerks a thumb in the direction of the destruction.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Zuko says, “I’ll help Katara, you’re better at breaking bad news anyhow.”

She squints at the wreckage once more, a little ways down the beach, TyLee’s family’s boat rental place still stands. It only does because they have learned from the last time; instead of a small wooden shack on the beach they have built it into the side of a nearby cliff.  Their most expensive rentals are tucked away into a garage, also built into the cliffside.  But there is some damage to their cheaper rental boats and many of their canoes and inflatables are scattered upon the beach. 

Azula picks up her phone and dials Mai’s number, hoping to get a signal.

.oOo.

Katara fixes her eyes on the ocean. She hates it more than anything as it keeps stealing the things that make her feel loved and secure. She loves it more than anything because it makes her feel free and empowered. Such is the duality of the ocean. 

Currently she hates it more than anything in the world. 

Currently it has reminded her of the last thing it took.

Mai’s jewelry shop is like Sokka, dismantled and being pulled further and further into the water.

She shakes herself, she doesn’t know that he is dismantled. 

Yet the hole in her heart is the same it has been several months and it still stings. There is such a vacancy in Sokka’s absence. Anything and everything is at risk of triggering a pang of sorrow; a specific dock post that he used to sit on regularly (she can still see the marks where he’d tagged it), a cluster of shells on a table, certain movies and books. Song are especially provocative; he had always loved reggae. They listened to it together all the time and he had a reggae song for everything, rendering the genre impossible to listen to without crying. There are so, so many songs that she can’t listen to and it is hard to explain why she gets teary eyed when they play on the radio.

Every now and again a customer will walk in who has his hair styled like Sokka had or wearing the same shirt that he had. On one instance, a girl walked in wearing Sokka’s favorite shirt, the one that he’d worn when he went out to sea before he’d disappeared. 

She no longer enjoys recreational sailing, and gets tense when anyone mentions that they are going to take a solo recreational trip. 

Azula insists that Sokka is still alive but Katara knows in her heart that he isn’t. She senses it in the same way she’d sensed that he’d had an accident while jet skiing with Jet and Chan. The same way he sensed that she’d gotten hurt while surfing. 

She knows that he is gone because she can no longer feel him but she lets Azula talk about how she is sure that he is alive. Azula is rarely an optimist and Katara doesn’t have the heart to crush that.

Azula is the only other person who still seems truly impacted by his disappearance. She also tends to turn the radio off when certain songs play, though not as many as Katara. It isn’t for lack of memories with the songs either, it is more that she only turns the music off for songs that have particularly fond memories. Katara noticed that the other girl will grow randomly distant or somber. And Azula still thinks that he is alive. She can’t imagine how Azula will take it when that denial is shattered.

All the same, Katara tries to think of the absolute joy she would feel at being proven wrong.

Not that she thinks this will be the case. Azula has lost her mother already, her father might as well be dead...losing Sokka had done her psyche so much damage. 

Damage that her father didn’t bother to tend to. 

Damage that Zuko could only do his best to mend. 

Damage that had almost killed her too.

And it is no wonder, they had been so close. Of course they were, Katara had caught him kissing her on more than one occasion. It always left her feeling flustered. Especially the night that she’d come across Sokka heavily and deeply lip locked with Azula. She still gags and the sucking sound. And yet, she’d give anything to overhear it again if it meant that Sokka was back. 

They had softer moments. Moments where Katara had found them curled up beneath a palm tree, Azula cuddled in Sokka’s arms. They half-sat, half-laid in the glow of the fairy lights that curled around the tree. They nestled in a burrow of a brightly colored bean bag chair. They’d invited Katara to join them as they watched a movie being played on a projector screen across the beach. 

Katara can no longer attend those movies.

She feels a hand on her shoulder, “you good?” Zuko asks.

“Yeah.” She nods. “I’m just thinking again.” She looks towards the horizon. She can’t see the sunrise, not that it will bring her any comfort today. In fact, a pretty sunrise would only be mockery. 

Just like it had been on the day Sokka was declared dead. 

The sky had been so vivid that day, all manners of orange and gold and the clouds seemed to be tinged a deep purple. Really it was the most beautiful sunset that she had ever seen. 

And when night finally fell, the animals had been more lively than ever. Under a starlit sky, she’d never seen so many turtles migrating from sand to sea. Never seen so many crabs scuttling across the rocks. So many fish in the waves and starfish in the tide pools.

Tide pools that reflected a sky that looked as though it were painted with pearl powder. 

“Sokka laid those out for us.” Kya had remarked, dabbing at her wet eyes. “My baby boy, made this for us to see.” 

The sky had been all sorts of mystifying that night.

And yet she could not enjoy it. 

Not at all. 

The sky...the world had no right to be so beautiful when her brother was dead. 

She recalls at once, their old fish game. She wonders if that’s what the afterlife is like; one big ocean where loved ones go. Spectral fish in a perpetually fluorescent sea. She likes to think that Sokka is a clownfish in this phantasmal sea. That one day she will be a sailfish swimming next to him, finally the big sister and not the little one.

Zuko puts an arm over her shoulder.

She gestures to an overturned table. “Can you help me pick this up?”

[sociopath-analysis]

Sociopath Profile: DCAU Joker

Pre-acid dip appearance pictured on right Real name: Unkown Alias: Jack Napier Appearances: Batman: the Animated Series (1992-1995), Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993), The New Batman Adventures (1996-1997), Superman: the Animated Series (1996-2000),  Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000), Justice League (2001-2004), Static Shock (2000-2004), Justice League Unlimited (2004-2007) Voiced by Mark Hamill

One of the most iconic and defining portrayals of the Joker in the modern age. Even on a show geared towards children, he was still the same murderous sociopath he has always been known as. No punches being held back. (Literally sometimes.) And where exactly do we begin?

[SPOILERS BELOW; SPOILER-FREE VERSION HERE]

Let’s start with the fact that he has a complete lack of empathy for others. He obviously disregards the feelings of others by murdering them wantonly for shits and giggles. Many times, after killing someone, he moves on pretty quickly. After sending Sid Debris in a coffin plunging into a vat of acid, he immediately asks Harley and his henchmen if they want Chinese food.

There are many points where he sees people as nothing more than tools to be used and discarded. One example of this is what he does with Charlie Collins. He keeps tabs on him even through him moving and changing his name and forces him to do a favor for him while threatening his family. Why? Charlie cussed him out in traffic for cutting him off! It shouldn’t be that surprising that he’d torment the man for two years over something so simple. And he still planned to kill him after doing the favor (which was holding open a door for one of his plans).

This is one of the more disturbing aspects about the Joker. He can be so obsessively petty that he doesn’t differentiate between grand scale villainy and small petty villainy. Anything is worthy of either response. It’s the reason why Harley only got thrown out in “Harley and Ivy” for inadvertently disrespecting him and Charlie had been stalked and tracked down for two years as a way to torment him in “Joker’s Favor” all because he cussed him out in traffic. He takes any chance to make a darkly comedic joke at the expense of other people’s lives. Just look at his answering machine:

The Joker: (laughs) Boy, did you get a wrong number. Leave your message at the sound of the shriek. Man’s voice: No! Please! Don’t! (shrieks)

Even before he fell in the acid as shown in Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, he has shown signs of sociopathy. He kills Carl Beaumont and walks away with a smile on his face as Andrea mourns her recently dead father. Also in that movie, he shows no remorse as Andrea is about to murder him. The way he sees it, he is either going to be killed by Batman or his lover, a joke so good that he can’t help but laugh.

However, he still makes every bit of the showman that he is in the comics. The man can be very polite and affable on the surface even while threatening other people. He’s got a lot of charisma despite his insanity and he uses it both for his grandiose performances and to manipulate other people.

Harley is also one of the more prominent examples of him being manipulative. He could sense that Harleen was drawn to him for his extreme personality and knew she was a bit of a glory-seeker. So he decided to use that and her naivety to pull her closer and then give a sob-story about an abusive alcoholic dad. And she ate it up. And as Batman notes to Harley, he’s got a million of those stories. He’ll use them to drum up sympathy for an escape or just to mess with people.

And he still remains as sadistic as ever. One very big show of this is Joker-gas. While the network wouldn’t let him actually kill people, the showrunners retained his Joker-gas with the removal of its lethal intent. Effectively, this manages to be worse than if it killed them since people will laugh uncontrollably until they get an antidote or they literally laugh themselves to death which will take much longer.

One of his most famous crimes is torturing Tim Drake into becoming a mini-Joker for his and Harley’s “family.” And even worse, he implanted a microchip into Tim’s head so that he would be able to come back posthumously. He effectively wiped Tim’s personality to put his own in his place. That really shows how little he cares about other people. Tim was nothing more than a new body to hijack and use for his own benefit.

Later on in Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker, he plans to hijack a military satellite armed with defense guns in order to carve a smiley face into Gotham City! Even after being resurrected with a computer chip, he doesn’t even slow down with his old personality.

And if you think you can control him, you have to be crazier than he is. Honestly, whenever he goes out working for other people on jobs, the Joker always goes off the leash or causes some problems that his employer didn’t expect. Lex Luthor and Sal Valestra learned this the hard way. In “World’s Fines,” Lex tried to hire him to kill Superman, but when he didn’t produce results, he tried to have the Joker killed instead. This proved to be a terrible mistake. And Sal Valestra ended up getting murdered.

And his rage issues are also one thing that makes him a very dangerous individual. You never really know what could set him off. Sometimes, the biggest mistakes will only earn you a stern talking to. And minor things can often result in killing his employees at best and full-scale mass murder at worst. He really doesn’t take it well when Mayor Hill on TV called Batman a villain as bad as him. His response was to go to his son Jordan’s birthday party, dress up as the birthday clown, and rig the place to blow!

He also has a very grandiose sense of self-worth that is evidenced by a few things. One thing is that he’s very narcissistic in general. When Harley calls him in “Harley and Ivy,” he picks up a hand mirror to admire his own reflection. And the reason he kicked her out in the first place is that she inadvertently undermined his contributions to the gang by agreeing with his facetious comment about her running the gang better. The worst of it is when she almost kills Batman in Mad Love. He knocks her out of a three-story window for getting closer to killing Batman. In fact, Bats used his ego to save his life. Something that makes him fly into a rage.

“I knew your massive ego would never allow anyone else the ‘honor’ of killing me. Though I have to admit she came closer than you ever did… Puddin’.” - Batman

The Joker also has many actions that are driven by his intense need for attention. He makes so many plans and makes so many actions just because they took attention from him or they took advantage of his image. “The Laughing Fish” is the most egregious example of this. He tries to trademark his fish when that literally is not how trademarks work! He basically threatens people’s lives just to profit off of his stupid laughing fish. (It was a stupid idea! We all know it was!) “Joker’s Wild” shows him being very angry with Kameron Kaiser making a casino using his image, something Kaiser was banking on so that the Joker could blow up the place and he could take the insurance money. When the Joker finds out, he just decides to kill Kaiser instead.

His ego and desire for a grand defeat of the Batman is one thing that Charlie Collins uses to scare the everloving crap out of the Joker. Charlie uses a fake bomb to make him believe that he’ll take the one dream the Joker ever had: a grand showdown with the Dark Knight. Instead, he was going to die there in some dirty alleyway at the hands of some worthless nobody. It scares him so much that he ends up calling out to Batman for help. (And the scene has to be seen to be believed.) But it shows that when something he wants is on the line, he’ll be calling for help at a moments notice. But he will still not spare the same sympathy for the lives he ruins and ends.

And it’s used against him once again by Terry McGinnis. He goes after him specifically where it hurts: his comedic prowess. Or rather, his supposed lack thereof. Terry becomes the natural enemy of the comedian, the heckler, and goes after the fact that he’s never made Batman laugh or never really told a good joke in his criminal career. This absolutely infuriates him.

It’s really no surprise that he manages to be one of the most monstrous villains in the whole of the DCAU (if not the most).

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