#death changes everything
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🔥Sinful Sunday🔥
Death changes everything
Fandom: Stranger Things
Ship: Mungrove, Eddie x Billy
Rating: Explicit, (sexual content, rec drug use)
Word Count: 6k, Finished
Tags: Angst with smut, blow jobs, piercings, abusive Neil Hargrove, porn with plot, feelings, recreational drug use, gay Eddie Munson, gay Billy Hargrove, post-season 3 Billy lives
Summary:
“What, do you mean, you died?” Because that, was a hell of a fucking shock.
The blonde flinched, rolling the end of the smoked-through joint between his fingers. He couldn’t possibly use another, but maybe Eddie should offer-
“I mean exactly what I said. I fucking died. Protecting some kid I’ve never met before from a monster that rode my body for a goddamn month.”
Billy flicked the roach across the room, chest heaving and empty hand looking for something to touch, grab, hold, punch, destroy.
The joint behind Eddie’s ear was in his hand and in front of Billy a moment later. Billy reached for it, hesitating…
“Please, I’ll find another way to get more. Take it.”
Cerulean blue eyes scanned his for a long time, like maybe he was waiting for Eddie to take the opportunity to tease or chastise him for any part he just admitted. He hesitated for a moment longer before taking the blunt and pushing it between his lips.
“Thanks,” he muttered before lighting up and taking a long hit.
Eddie nodded.
“Course. Uh, can I ask some follow up questions?”
Hargrove thought about it, before considering it harmless enough to nod for Eddie to continue. “This monster,” he started, and Billy’s tension was back again. Shit, “did it have a name, or anything?”
“I don’t remember. I just remember the voice.”
Which lead to another question. An eerily familiar question. Like, lunch time today with Chrissy familiar.
“Is that why you can’t sleep? You’re still hearing him?”
#sinful sunday#mungrove#gay eddie munson#gay billy hargrove#stranger things billy#stranger things 3#death changes everything#find me on ao3#kofi support keeps me out of capitalisms clutches#sunwarmed ash#links in bio#reblogs are free ways to support me!#billy hargrove#eddie munson#eddie x billy#billy x eddie#stranger things#fanfiction#metalheads
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by the way. people are allowed to complain about this season feeling rushed. i don’t know when it became a thing in this fandom to completely jump people who have valid complaints like YES arcane is a fantastically produced and beautifully animated show and nobody will be able to top it but they did start things with some characters only for it to never go anywhere so it can all be wrapped up in three episodes 😭
#anyways being critical is not a bad thing i think we need to stop labeling it as evil man..#arcane#arcane spoilers#jinx#arcane netflix#league of legends#arcane act 3#like nothing was resolved in caitlyn and vi’s relationship or in caitlyn’s entire arc. they just threw in a change OUT OF NOWHERE#after building it up so much#isha’s death had no point#jinx’s development had no point#vi’s character was completely stripped of everything by the end#i don’t even want to talk about sevika bro#people being like. ‘it would’ve made sense if they had more time#arcane critical#so you admit they shouldn’t have tried to cram so much into so few episodes then right#you admit they should’ve extended it to make it more cohesive#ooookay.
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Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)
The "Last Straw"?
Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.
But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.
The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#asks#itty bitties fop au#germangirl321#tw abuse#tw emotional abuse#tw emotional distress#tw implied death#tw implied sui#tw sui implied#<- ask to tag#(especially ask to tag bcs these are the offered tumblr tags)#godkids wish for stupid things all the time. sometimes they wish for good things and bad things. or things that helps themselves or others#they wish for things that teaches them life lessons or for things that damages them in the future.#but at their core every child has a pure wish that they want more than anything.#for hazel. her core wish is for change to stop. for dev. his core wish is for his father's love#timmy's wish. at the center of everything. is to run away from himself and all that he is. to be something- anything- but Him.#its this core wish that fairies desire most. its their ambrosia. and its almost always impossible to grasp in its purity.#they cant stop change or forge a father's love after all.#Most fairies would be ecstatic to claim a child's core wish. It's the peak of their career- highly coveted highly praised.#but Cosmo and Wanda took no pleasure when they finally consumed their one- and only one for they'd never do it again- core wish.#as said before. cosmo and wanda really. really love timmy turner. and timmy really really loves his fairies. love!!! is a powerful thing!!#anyways this is a heavy topic and a heavy ask so im keeping it out of the main tags#also if you're curious as to whose responding back to timmy#its cosmo#lots of people tend to portray wanda as the more emotional sensitive type. yknow the “motherly” role.#but i think thats wrong.#was considering cutting out their responses for this ask#but then i figured that CosWan would be responding back in earnest to calm him down as best they could
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Watching Percy kill a Fury with Medusa’s head through Annabeth’s eyes permanently altered my brain chemistry
#I never imagined a quiet monster death#but here it was perfect#because that scene wasn’t about killing a fury#it was about annabeth’s changing view of percy#and percy slowly becoming the hero we know him as#honestly everything about this episode was phenomenal#pjotv#pjotv spoilers#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#percy jackon and the olympians#annabeth chase#captain’s log
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> WARNING ! FILE CORRUPTION DETECTED. > PROCEED ? [Y / N] ---Please.
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 medic#emesis blue#Or emesis red there's a lot of red in this one#I very much enjoy his constant distress frown and 2k yard stare in this movie; he's trying so hard to figure out what's happening#He's probably just trying to see without his glasses; everything is a bit more scary when you realise Doc doesn't actually see a lot after#he loses his glasses from fighting both of the Conagher brothers. He's just. Winging every near death situation half blind#Anyways I really like how he physically changes from being the most calm and seemingly sane person without any agenda into the doom slayer#First he leaves his medigun behind; he loses his glasses; he takes off his labcoat and gloves; there's blood on him; he's marked with the M#Just a really cool way of amplifying his change of personality and increasing insanity
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Death Loves No One
Cause if he did he'd want to keep them forever
After obtaining the title as Ghost King and losing all his family, Danny started to feel lonely. He had friends, ghosts that would stay for eternity by his side but it wasn't the same. Danny felt that his personal connections were what kept him sane, the evenings with Clockwork calmed him down, but it wasn't the same calm that Jazz used to provide.
So, when he was given the title of Equilibrium it wasn't really a big deal. It was just another title among a thousand others, Clockwork advised him to visit earth to discover his purpose but also warned him that he would not look human.
Danny accepted it but didn't take it seriously, he couldn't help but get scared when people started screaming around him. He wasn't doing anything weird, he was visiting the cemetery, his family's graves, but everyone was running away scared.
He realized that since he lost Jazz (the last one to leave) he no longer looked human. He wondered if it was possible that someone might be interested in talking to him but dismissed it. Some people began to nickname him "Death" because all he did was stay in the cemetery.
That's why it was extremely rare to find a boy calling him every day and making a small talk, he became attached to the boy. The boy would visit different graves but always stayed to talk to him, never yelled, or called him a bad name. Danny couldn't help but love him the same way he loved his family.
He wasn't surprised that the boy died soon after (knowing him brought misfortune didn't it?), but he never stopped visiting the cemetery. So, when the boy rose from his grave completely disoriented, Danny wondered if it was somehow his fault.
#dpxdc#ghost king danny#Danny lost his family#he felt cursed after it#as if everything around him is destined to die faster#his family did not stay as ghosts because they were at peace#Danny never was#His lack of contact with people made him less human#because the halfa began to forget how to be human during his pain#and his core reacted to his emotions#changing his appearance#dc x dp#dp x dc#Jason was the one who visited the cemetery#he liked to leave flowers for his mother#and Danny never scared him because Jason always thought death was kind#and maybe too lonely#Danny wonders if the fact that he became attached to Jason led to his earlier death#or to a half-life like his#he's not supposed to love after all
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au where mu qing takes hua cheng's challenge, loses and is the only god to fullfill ghost's demands and give up his status (he does it with pride of course).
so he steps down, cuts his hair and vanishes for a couple of decades leaving feng xin his territory (the other god is mad and heartbroken again).
in his banishment he starts thinking about his life if he ever even wanted to be a god. his mother has been dead for years now and he doesn't have to worry about his income anymore so maybe starting over is not a bad thing?
(meanwhile hua cheng keeps following him displeased with how easily mu qing accepted his lose.)
#mu qing#tgcf#tgcf mu qing#mxtx tgcf#feng xin#fengqing#tgcf feng xin#hc slightly changes his view of the former god when he mentions that he achieved everything for the person he loved#and after their death it lost meaning
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I've received a sudden influx of followers because of an entirely unrelated textpost from several years ago, which means all of you legally have to read my current interest in order to understand my blog. ooooh you wanna read scum villain's self-saving system so bad (Anna's archive link since the internet archive is down)
some quotes to further persuade you:
also read my fanfiction. hi.
#hello new followers. your options are either to read an absolutely insane book series#or be completely bewildered by everything i post#i recommend the former!#i post about a chinese bl series with the most batshit characters around. be prepared.#if you saw me change the meme no you didn't#i can't think of the right text underneath to properly convey this series#it is an isekai parody and a comedy#but it is also a tragedy. and genuinely disturbing at times. and the emotional scenes hit like a truck#it's so good. crazy fucking series#the six balls quote happens after one of the most gut wrenching major character deaths and I love it here <3
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ALEX SHEPHERD, THE BOY WHOSE SOUL IS BOUND TO EARTH AND HE CANNOT DIE. // a.k.a how one small mistake can make you wish you stayed dead
jenny holzer / saturniinne / sun bleached flies - ethel cain / orofeaiel / cecil castellucci / violetteforevernever / ojibwa / i know it's over - the smiths / tathève simonyan / stellernorth / robert bly
#oc alex#a.a.k.a no one is coming to save you. get over yourself.#yes this is a short web weave but like...... it couldve been sooo much longer theres so much i can use for him. so much i can say about him#he's terrified of death. he just wants to be at peace. he wants to live again. he's getting so tired. he just wants to go home.#theres no home left for him. he's mourning. he's so over it. he's alone in this world. he always was alone.#going missing and dying changed nothing. it changed everything. but only for a second.#and then life carried on without him. he will never get that time back. he misses it. he doesnt want to go back.#he needs company. he wants so desperately to be left alone. theres still hope. theres no hope left. Do You Understand.
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in loving memory
or: what did @pkmn-monochrome mean by this
#pokepasta#pokemon monochrome#this string of updates has had me so fucked up. whats going ONNNNN!!!!!!!#i really wanted to draw this panel its such a striking image. (wearing tshirt that says 'i noticed the secret')#i want to put cody under a microscope. like whats wrong with them. like god they deserve better they deserve SO much better#but also damn dude you have ISSUES huh. like 'ive already said too much' um. Um?????????????????#cody u need to stop keeping secrets. like id like to think i understand why given theyve said it outright#(its not our business. its for the sake of survival. and the players perception of them would almost certainly change once these truths-#come forward.)#i know the creator said that it WILL come forward eventually one way or another and i await that with fear and excitement#cause for something to be so deeply and desperately hidden for fear of DEATH... that must be a pretty nasty skeleton in the closet cody.#and tbh 'ive already said too much' makes me wonder how much has gone unspoken abt red and leaf too. like god codys so good at being just.#OBTUSE with the players. an expert in toeing around the truth and saying only Just enough but never Everything.#theyre such a fascinating character to read i fucking love monochrome the writing is awesome
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#Taylor Swift#Don’t Blame Me#Reputation#The Eras Tour#Reputation Era#Reputation Stadium Tour#Rep TV#Taylor Nation#Swifties#Miami TS The Eras Tour#Miami Night 1#Getty images#take us to church mother#when she hits the high note#you look like Taylor Swift in this light we’re loving it#I think I’ve seen this film before#I will never change. But I’ll never stay the same either.#Your on your own kid. Yeah you can face this. Your on your own kid. You always have been.#Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress.#I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy.#Flashback when you met me.#There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen I had a marvelous time ruining everything.#I can feel the flames on my skin. Crimson red paint on my lips.#So they filled my cell with snakes I regret to say Do you believe me now? I was onto something they all said nothing.#And in the death of her Reputation she felt truly alive.#Who’s afraid of little old me? You should be.#I said remember this moment in the back of my mind the time we stood with our shaking hands the crowds in stands went wild.#I was screaming long live all the magic we made and bring on all the pretenders I’m not afraid. One day we will be remembered.#I said remember this feeling I passed the pictures around of all the years we stood there on the sidelines wishing for right now.#What if I told you I’m the Mastermind?
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Sinful Sunday Poll
Fic References:
The Eden Club
You Know What They Say About Assuming
Eastside
Death changes everything
#sinful sunday#find me on ao3#sunwarmed ash#hankconvin#steddiegrove#harringrove#the eden club#you know what they say about assuming#eastside#death changes everything#ao3 link in bio#reblogs are free ways to support me!#fanfiction#billy hargrove#stranger things#detroit become human connor#detroit become human#hankcon#convin#hankvin#mungrove#steve harrington#eddie munson#gay billy hargrove#queer eddie munson#gay eddie munson#bi steve harrington
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actively fighting a full blown panic attack born out of sadness and anger after having to drive by yet another victim on the side of the road
it makes me livid how accepted it is to just let cats suffer and die disgustingly horrid deaths and live awful short lives just so what, for what?? so you dont have to play with them for an hour a day??? when i was little it was just kinda normal that they disappeared at some point, i didnt understand what it actually meant until our outdoor cat i loved dearly was found in the bushes near our house in a condition so horrible my dad has never told me and i have never dared to ask, she only made it to 6 and had horrible scars and infections before that i allowed my family to convince me to let my first own cat outside, we only had her for a year, she died at only 2 years old, i am still suffering from the guilt, it has never let me go, she went missing for a week and i walked the entire vilage up and down every day, yelling her name, wandering into the forest alone, talking to every stranger i met until one morning my mom told me that our neighbour who works for the city asked if we had a white cat with a very specific collar she had- he found her on a busy road crossing in the next bigger city, i never even got to bury her, its haunting me, the thought of her wandering lost and scared in the city for a week until meeting an awful end gives me headaches, the fact that i was the last one to see her alive, that i put her outside bc we were late for school and had to leave quickly, that she had come home with oil in her fur from crawling through maschines and cars before, that i was worried but still didnt act, that it is my fault, any time i am up to late its coming back, it will never let me go, if i had stood my ground and not allow her outside unless on a leash or similar shed still be alive today, any time i read a description at our local shelter it comes back, they still advocate for outside cats, all of them, even if they have only been an indoor one before, its madness my older sister had a cat, i dont even know how old he got but it wasnt long either, he got hit by a car in front of their house, she has two now again and the only reason she hasnt let them outside is because they havent shown much interest in it, i tried to warn her before and she didnt listen and shes still resistent, even after losing one too
i have seen so many on the side of the road, anywhere i drive i see them, i cannot forget a single one, we are surrounded by farm land and all its giant maschinery, its still common to poison rodents, why do people value them so little, you wouldnt let your dog just live outside in the woods and streets for half the day or more, you wouldnt just throw your guniea pigs on the road and tell them have fun, you wouldnt just let your bird roam outside, there probably assholes that do that too but you cannot tell me its as common as outside cats
i dont understand it, i dont, i wont, i never will, i will never forgive myself this poor little animal that was my responsibility having to pay the price of my ignorance, or my own weakness letting my family convince me despite the awful way we lost one before, it makes me want to explode it hurts my brain in grief and anger i can barely contain
cats deserve to live a safe and long life, i get only having them inside may feel like you are locking them up, but do you think that not doing so is worth having them die a painful death? being poisonend? on purpose even by disgusting people that hate them? abused and chased by other animals and dogs? hurt and lost? cutting their lifespan in half? if they even make it that far? the amount of wildlife that they kill unnecessarily so when all of that is already in a steep decline everywhere? and if they eat what they hunt get infected with diseases or again, poison? die somewhere in agony? if cared for they dont care about going outside, plenty can be leash trained or given a secure way to roam like those cat proof aviary like things, if you dont want to put effort into caring for a cat DONT GET ONE, ALL pets require adequate care, and if you think cats are the easiest bc you only have to feed them every now and then IF they come home? you suck, you are an asshole, i hate you and you do not care about them, if you just want to occasionalyl feed and pet an animal go to the petting zoo
(this is about pet cats of people who can absolutely afford to keep them healthily inside, i know feral cats and those in poor neighbourhoods are a thing, even if not here where i live, and thats a whole other but still similar problem and not the point of this post)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#tw pet death#tw cat death#i hate everything so much and my day is ruined#sorry to come at you with this but its just#the grief and anger i feel for these poor things is more than their owners ever will feel im sure#just getting another one like its a consumable piece of candy#its so common here i hate it#why are people so insistent on it#the fact that the shelter here too advocates for outdoor cats in every cats description makes me twice as mad#do you actually care for them or do you hope they die quickly so people get one more frquently or what#i thought about writing them but i have had both of my cats from there and i am afraid they would not take it well#i dont know how to approach trying to make a change in this case#(my current cat is indoor only obviously and shes about 10 now- which is the oldest of any cats i have known has gotten)#this is germany specific btw ... if theres anyone that knows an organization trying to change this pls let me know
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someone needs to send her to a therapist that isn't insane
#persona 5 royal#p5r spoilers#sumire yoshizawa#my art#i think we need more spiteful sumire#her story is so#she hates her sister for being everything she could never be#she hated her sister for her death#the death that changed everything#but she hates herself even more for causing that death#transcript in alt text
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I miss u fnaf fandom I miss people having new interesting stuff to talk about like we did with SB and ruin and a large alive fanart and fanfic community and not ok this game had no comprehensible plot and this games plot was already revealed 2 years ago and its still like 6 months or more until it comes out
#sorry feeling sad about fnaf today 😔#its just like. as someone who was there the day sb dropped how did we get here to this point#went from bucketloads of potential with an engaging new era to boring#never letting any of the interesting main storylines appear on screen for years and years#like man#i thought the in between era with hw2 and the next game that was unknown at the time was the worst era#like the mains and the plot will come back eventually but its been 3 years borderline#the bonnie bully cassies dad tales books to game instead of the other way around 2 releases fully about the mimic stuff is just like#very disheartening#pandas.txt#discourse#went from exciting potential to ok so they just arent going to talk about anything ever again#ggy hints and hw2 candy cadet stories are the only things keeping me going#if they didnt exist id prob be actively giving up on them ever bringing 3 star back#& im not trying to say that bc i like 3 star & they havent been focused on everything is bad#they havent focused or done anything cool with VANNY gregory vanessa freddy ggy any of it#instead random shit like hw2 cassies dad mapbot death possession bonnie bully#like somehow theyve made everything about nothing + the mimic#plz announce the release before the end of the year already bc depending on what it is ill feel so much better#if we get hw2 dlc and it reveals if its about cassie vanny or cassies dad things will change so much
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Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three
For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative
When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.
This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?
This is where we get unhinged.
Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).
To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.
This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.
In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!
Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!
Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation
Which, of course, is him dwelling on…
Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation
…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:
He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation
And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:
Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him. (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation
Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:
“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR
Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.
Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:
At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR
Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!
So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.
This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!
And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.
But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?
At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts
In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.
It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.
(Or, if an image would be preferable:)
Thank you for reading!
(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)
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*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)!
#get ready for tag thoughts because there are a LOT of them#it’s for THIS reason that fanon wwx bothers me so much (didn’t want to get negative on the acual post)#bc so often all the changes are changes that woobify him!#self-sacrificial idiot wwx?? only doing things because… poor him he has so many internal issues and values himself so little-#-so of course he’d sacrifice everything before thinking of another option? woobifying#(whenever he sacrifices something it’s a deliberate choice to act on his morals because he values his morals so much – and he’s also very-#-capable and DOES often find ways for no people to get hurt!)#wasn’t aware that what happened to him at lotus pier was wrong and needs lwj to tell him that for him to have any idea if it?#woobifying (as we see in the lotus seed pod extra he KNOWS it’s unfair)#(he downplays it retroactively in his memory (links into not focusing on the bad things in his life))#(but that’s the actions themselves that are being downplayed not their fairness!)#he chooses to act! he is defined by acting! not tragedy – all the more impressive in the face of the amount of tragedy that’s happened#he could SO EASILY have been a woobie but instead he’s the opposite of one: defined BY his agency instead of the absence of it#that doesn’t mean he’s not impacted by tragedy or trauma – he is! but it’s not the most important aspect of his character (bc he doesn’t le#it’s also something that bothers me about the changes cql made#by making qq path and nightless city the fault of someone else it means he IS someone who’s more a victim of circumstance than anything els#he had no control over the tragedies of his first life at all#apart from ig his death being controlled by him? because he just leaps off the cliff during the nightless city siege?? but in THAT case it’#i watched that part recently (i’m getting through it very slowly) and yeah it reaffirmed my love for this aspect of the book even more#despite. having these exact thoughts for two years already#he also dwells on the past events a lot more than book wwx which adds to that version of him BEING defined more by tragedy rather than who#anyway over 7.3k words total (and 400 more in the tags apparently)... it'll be posted to ao3 in its completion this evening!#mdzs meta#my meta#wei wuxian#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#魔道祖师#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#gdc
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