#death & all that follows
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I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.
It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.
And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.
It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.
#imagine youre in an eternal spite marriage with your ex who you're in love with because he's in love with your other ex#who youre also in love with#and your spitehusband who hates you turns to drugs to cope with the traumatic death of his daughter (which you caused but who's counting)#and you just follow him around cleaning up his messes and propping him up and keeping him alive#because despite everything you do love him#and you find him mid bender and he's told his life story to a reporter and he didn't even mention you#and you're just trying to protect him from himself so he doesn't pass out in a pool of blood on the floor#and he tells you that you're a burden#that youre the thing thats killing him#that 10 hours with a stranger made him feel more alive than your whole relationship#and he says that youre BORING#that all your trauma and grief and fear made you UNINTERESTING#yeah id do some saw trap shit too#blorboposting#benni proof#interview with the vampire#loumand#iwtv
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REPLICA PLAYLIST
MUSIC UNDER CUT
I have been receiving requests for any songs that inspired Replica, so here, have my personal playlist. Sorry itās not Spotify/Soundcloud but they donāt have some of these songs available so uhā¦ guess youāre stuck with YouTube vids. For fun I'll include my personal titles for them (which might give a few hints of what to expect in the future/end).
Replica Main Theme - āDie for Youā by Grabbitz Like Father Like Son Like Brother (Omega and Shelldon) - "As Above So Below" by Alistair Lindsay Mikey's Theme / The 1st Vision - "Suzume no Tojimari" by Nanoka Hara Military (Mad) Dogs / Central Park Colony - "Imperium" by Madeon Shanghai - "Icarus" by Madeon Boom Goes the Donnie-mite (Mikey/Donnie vs the Sweeper) - "The Red Zone" by Mitsuoto Suzuki The Day the Sky Bled Red - "7 Seconds Till the End" by Nobuo Uematsu Going Out Like a Boss (Raph and Leo) - "Agape" by Nicholas Britell Remembering the Right Way (Mikey and Leo) - "The Souls of Many" - by Alistair Lindsay Mystic Hands / The 2nd Vision - "Am I Dreaming" by Metro Boomin x A$AP Book 2 Trailer - "Sea Dragon" by Covet 7 Years Later - "Iron" by Woodkid Leo's Theme / Attack on the Labor Camp - "Ego Death" by Polyphia Omega's Theme - "Touch" by Daft Punk Flat Lines (Omega Alone) - "Die Toteninsel Emptiness" by 1000 Eyes Spear - "Monsters" by Tommee Profitt Final Protocol - "The Kraken" by Katie Dey Rise / Epilogue - "Close in the Distance" by Masayoshi Soken & Tom Mills
I will admit, it's a little embarrassing since you can easily see the patterns of what I've been listening to for the past year or two. I swear I listen to more than just videogame OSTs, these songs just jive well with the story and I often find lyrics distracting when brainstorming scenes. Regardless, the music I listen to is such an important part of my creative process and some of these songs really defined the scenes I now have locked in my head. So I figured it was only fair to give them the credit they're due.
I will continue to add to this playlist, and will note in comic updates when one of these songs is applicable!
#lofi Donnie anyone?#also sort of celebration for 19k followers wow#should I do something else for it?#I particularly like Leo's theme being titled Ego Death#very fitting#Also the final song makes me cry because the lyrics are just too dang perfect#I'd like to do an animatic with the song when this story is all done#check out the lyrics if you get the chance#in fact I'd like to do an animatic trailer for the Book 2 Teaser#we'll see though#i can't allow myself to get too distracted from the comic itself haha#replica#rottmnt replica#kathaynesart#playlist#music#spoilers? but like... you know how it ends in the movie so not really?#kind of?#did you see the rise movie?#then youāve been spoiled sorry#posting again at an ungodly hour#I am tired#save rottmnt#rottmnt#TMNT#Donatello#casey jones
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Look what we've become.
[First]Ā PrevĀ <ā-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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they should work together idk guys
#āwhat couldāve beenā pairings make me SO UPSET BUT ITS SO GOOD AND INSANE#need them to hold hands while solving cases together#if youāre gonna follow me you have to go through all my seven different art styles#literally every art I made for this pair are different like how did this happen at all#meronia#mellonear#mello#near#mihael keehl#nate river#death note#death note fanart#myart#hope yāall arenāt sick of me
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#Mood
#Agatha All Along Spoilers#Agathario#Agario#Agatha All Along#aaaedit#agathallalongedit#marveledit#Marvel#MCU#mcuedit#Kathryn Hahn#Aubrey Plaza#Our Gifs#Agatha Harkness#Lady Death#Death#Rio Vidal#LGBT#lgbtedit#Lesbian#Sapphic#Gay#Queer#Down the Witches Road#follow me my friend to glory at the end
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some people go to college to make more money. i go to college to write more danny phantom fanfiction. we are not the same
#danny phantom#tayscreams#im a disgrace to the creative writing major i fear#its not even reskinned fanfiction of danny phantom its reskinned fanfiction of a snapping sound#WHICH IS ITSELF DANNY PHANTOM FANFICTION#I SUBMITTED FANFICTION OF A FANFICTION OF A CHILDRENS SHOW AND GOT IN#i deserve to be stoned to death i think#now my friends are telling me i should do my independent honors project over danny phantom fanfiction#which would require me to admit to a professor that yknow all those stories iāve been writing about ghosts and death? yeahā¦hahaā¦about that..#anyway. follow your dreams or something
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So sad. Do you think I do not understand the sorrow of responsibility?
#critical role#cr lb#exu downfall#ygifs#she was always meant to be the raven queen the way she killed me dead#the layers of her almost losing vex to the raven queen to almost being a champion of her#to vex vehemently hating her for taking her brother from her#from the chilled animosity towards even the raven queen's followers#all of it to coexist with laura donning the porcelain mask and cloak of raven feathers#the way she just. knocks it out of the park with her intimidating presence it ROCKS LOVE IT FOR HER#being shrugged off by a planetar and then she goes I am the God of Death and he just SEIZES me TOO MAN#I am.... a childš³š
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I think about the fact Anya locking herself in the infirmary with Curly to kill herself and how it is in way reclaiming a space that was initially hers from Jimmy.
Not to mention how she must've been aware of Jimmy's obsession with Curly and the idea that he would lose his power over the both of them (based on the fact she likely thought they would never get the door open) and having to face the responsibility of two deaths being on his hands as acting captain.
It was her final act of agency stuck on that ship with her abuser and it says something that she chose to die next to Curly, despite his inaction, leaned against him as if they were just in a casual conversation before her death. Despite everything, Anya made the final decision on her own terms and it speaks volumes considering her treatment and demeanor up until that point.
#sadly this did not work but I slso assume that she chose to use all the pills because she did not htink theyd be able to keep curly alive#too much longer without her knowledge and seeing how everyone died almost immediately following her death well...#I think Anya is merciful and would've killed Curly if she did not feel like Jimmy would retaliate as she would understand being at the merc#of someone who only resents you and sees you less than a person now. Like do i think she fully forgave him for not doing much and possibly#crashing the shit? no but i think she can understand his hesitation just a bit better in those final moments#also small headcanon is she knew he likley didn't cause the crash just due to how Jimmy talked of it and Curly being at fault because you c#even tell when Jimmy is avoiding the truth or lying in a lie and he was much to eager to constatnly talk down to Curly rather than wonder#why his closest friend would also do something like that much like Curly was confused and shocked Jimmy actually did it and she died knowin#Curly was at least innocent about that#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing spoilers#suicide tw#tw suicide
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as āso bland he's tempted to throw salt on himselfā and āall he could do is lay around and wait for deathā (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on āShen Yuan isnāt lazyā is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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i think L should've tried harder to piss light off. provoking light into slipping up would not only be hilarious i also think it would be extremely easy and effective. not saying you could get light to actually confess this way, but he would definitely make more dumb mistakes if, for example, L kept interrupting their homoerotic brain chess matches to insist that kira is actually matsuda because the butts match
#death note#rookposting#more ideas:#light tweets his detailed and reasoned thoughts on politics and law on his 122 follower twitter account#L uses his 1.4M follower acc to quote tweet him constantly with the word 'wrong' in all lowercase#L makes light watch detective pikachu and keeps going 'you should take notes light-kun i think you could learn a lot from that hamster'#(this one's anachronistic but it works on two levels because light is also irate that L is calling pikachu a hamster)#L keeps 'forgetting' light's name#L listens to light making an argument and stares at him for 0.4 seconds and then turns around like he never spoke#the taskforce gets a dog and L names the dog light. light (person) is now light 2#L keeps countering light's arguments with blatantly nonsensical rebuttals but interrupts him every time light tries to argue back#see L wouldn't do any of this because L is more concerned with playing their gayass game than he is with winning#but if for example L wanted to win instead of lose he should listen to my ideas about offering everyone a cup of coffee except light#because light should really take it easy on the caffeine it's starting to affect his complexion
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a spell is cast on camelot that thins the veil enough for ghosts to appear. the catch? the ghosts that appear are spirits of people that were killed by the person theyāre haunting. the knights have a good amount of bandits/raiders/whatever that they took down in battle, maybe a few shady knights have genuinely innocent people that they murdered and got away with. the executionerās killings are transferred to the king since he was simply acting out the kingās commands. arthur has quite a few. uther has hundreds of sorcerers in various states of gore and horror. those who were hanged have perpetually bent necks, those who were beheaded have either no head or just a head floating a bit above their body, and those who were burnt are more charred remains (the most grisly of them all). merlin has more than anyone expected (which was zero) and all of them keep calling out for arthur/utherās death and camelotās downfall while also turning to merlin and calling him a traitor.
#who knows what happens after that#merlin hiding after the spell takes affect bc how is he supposed to explain all these ghosts following after him#finding out that the spell has been placed on everyone and spirits of the dead have made their home in camelot to terrorize the living#arthur freaking over all the people heās killed appearing in his chambers and waking him up#uther having the most spirits by far constantly surrounding him and just screaming#in pain. in agony. in despair. in hatred. in sorrow.#just hundreds of spirits calling for justice#arthur is horrified by just how many people his father has killed#hes always known but hes never thought about it long enough for it to sink in#but it gets so much worse when through the mob of dead sorcerers#his mother appears#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#fanfiction#fanfic#fic ideas#prompts#merthur#uther pendragon#ygraine pendragon#arthur finding merlin and taking in the plethora of people that supposedly merlin has killed#all of them calling out for arthurs death when they spot him#merlin shrugging helplessly and arthur is forced to confront the fact that merlinās hands are BLOODY and its all in his name
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The transgender contrast of loving your parents but also for Trust Reasons longing for an additional external authority figure you can count on more unconditionally to support or protect you that totally doesnāt risk becoming a kink
#my stuff#haha yeah iām so loyal and trusting and will serve you unto death#this in no way is derived from the agony of being misgendered by my parents all my life#which is ongoing btw bc āthereās nobody we know that i trust to talk about your transition withā#LIKE HM MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK ABT WHY THAT IS#MAYBE ITS BC THOSE PPL ARE IGNORANT CUNTS THEN#anyway haha what if you were my superior officer and i killed for you like a dog#what if you were my god and i followed your compulsion to kill and eat until you were satisfied#what if you kept me to yourself and looked after me in private as i do you in public#what if my loyalty was rewarded#what if i had no obligation but duty to you#what if you made it all ok
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#lan wangji#nie huaisang#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full).#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.#Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up.#He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day.#I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am#But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour.#I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on.#Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat.#LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine.#NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early.#His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game.#Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws.#And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary.#Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag.#So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it.#And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)
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something about the raven cycle kids and the quest to be seen and understood and the physical manifestations they have of their inner selves. gansey and his eccentric camaro thatās always breaking down. ronan and his raven thatās almost literally his heart. blue and her old beech tree thatās with her through everything. and adam who doesnāt know his true self; adam who is the trailer, the hondayota, the st agnes apartment, the magician card. adam who has to remake himself.
#ok last trc musing im posting for the night#Iām actually shaky on what Adamās version of this is and I think itās because he is the one who does not know himself to start with#and Iām obsessed with that#I do think itās interesting that each one I name for Adam isnāt a unique concept the others all have that#heās identifying himself following their footsteps#Adam is the trailer/st agnes. gansey is Monmouth blue is Fox way ronan is the barns#Adam is the magician gansey is death blue is page of cups#Adam is the shitbox gansey is the Camaro etc etc#the raven cycle#trc#adam parrish#blue sargent#ronan lynch#gansey#richard gansey#richard campbell gansey iii#gangsey
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twelve is not more ruthless or cruel or endangering than any of his predecessors. he just doesn't hide it. I think he was the kindest doctor because he didn't hide his ruthlessness from his companions, didn't hide it behind a goofy bow tie or the charm that makes people follow him to the end of the universe. . . he showed Clara exactly who he was and the brutal things he was willing to do if he believed they were right. And he didn't pretend to feel bad about them. I think after amy and rory he got tired of how easily people believed he was good, how easy that made them to kill, how their faith in him always always meant they never got home. So he does the kindest thing he can think of, and doesn't hide that they're not just choosing to travel with him, they're also choosing to travel with the death that follows him everywhere he goes. I think he's the first doctor not to hide from that second companion and the part he plays in keeping it onboard.
#ykwim#accepting that the only thing as constant as him is the death and grief he finds everywhere he looks#and no longer promising his companions protection from that#or rather no longer trying to convincing his companions that he's not the one its following#and still promising he will try and protect them#but showing them its him that hes trying to protect them from#i think claras the first one to get to see that#......none of this makes sense does it#well#it does in my head#and thats all that matters#doctor who#twelfth doctor#12th doctor#peter capaldi#dr who#twelve#squids bullshit#š
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consumed by the inevitable
#messyr#you know- I kept thinking: One day. The cage will be open but I feel like I'll stay. Because if I run- I'd wind up dead from their bullet#so I just- tend to- follow as much as I want to rebel and put sense into this fuckass household. I hate seeing the others in pain as well#and it hurts more that it feels like I can NEVER be the one to break this cycle of abuse- when I knew from the start- when I knew too much#but here I am ending up like the rest of them- helpless and unable to do jackshit about the situation. I cant say or do anything at all!#I dont want to end up like them- if anything I want to BREATHE- i want all of us to LIVE without this pain that has existed for generations#I want to help so bad no matter how much I know I am unloved.#no matter how much hate i carry- no matter how much burden- Underneath it all- I'm devoted to them- that's how fucked up I am#i know i'll never be enough. I know how often I think of death and wish it.#But I have a dream to achieve and I am not planning to die until I reach it. Not yet. If pain is where I strive best then so be it.#doodle#vent art#artists on tumblr#bpd#toxic behavior#learned helplessness
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