#dean grieving over cas...

[lavenderleahy]

Oh no. I've started writing a season 7 destiel fic. I'm currently rewatching season 7 and the brainworms are real.

[crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell]

Part of the reason Dean can't understand the extent of Cas' grief when he has to kill or hurt his siblings is because Dean refers to the other angels as Cas'frat bros

Dean isn't really acknowledging them as Cas' real family. But Cas sees them as his family, not college dormmates like Dean is trying to implicate them as

So when Dean can't acknowledge that those other angels he doesn't like are actually Cas' siblings and not random dorm mates is it any wonder Dean doesn't care?

[vendettasfanfictioning]

See, it's the cinematic choices like these that convince me destiel wasn't an accident or something added last minute, it had build up and it was sprinkled all over the narrative.

It's Dean grieving so much, in a way he never grieved for familial figures like Bobby or John—there is enough pain inside him that it shattered his belief that what he and Sam did was right, as hunters protecting the common folk. When, in times of multiple Armageddon-level crises and then some, that belief is what held him together. Because hey, we may have lost people (so, so, so many people) but at least it was for the greater good.

None of that, absolutely none of that, because this loss made him feel that the job wasn't worth it anymore. This was where he drew the line.

It's Dean, literally gaining back that light in his life when Castiel called.

And, at the end of the episode, there are slow, dramatic close-ups between Dean and Castiel. Because Sam's grief wasn't the same as Dean's, so Sam's relief at finally having Cas again is different from Dean's.

This moment belongs to them. To Dean, who's finally finding his faith again.

[lovealwayssay]

I know I'm crazy and need to stop thinking about the Supernatural finale but I can’t because I was so focused on how shitty the finale was to Dean that I hadn’t truly gotten mad about how it treated Sam until now and I hate myself for that because SAM!!! Sam, who had been through almost nonstop trauma since he was born, who started the show losing the woman he was in love with, who had his bodily autonomy violated over and over again, who spent at least 180 years being tortured by Lucifer, who died and lost and grieved and bled for the entire show, was supposed to just lose Dean, his brother, the one constant in his life, after losing Cas, who he considered family, and Jack, his child, and be able to move on and live a happy life? Sam deserved so much better. He deserved to grow old with his brother and Cas, marry Eileen, and raise their kids with Jack as their older brother. The ending they gave Sam is what Season 1 Sam would have wanted, not Season 15 Sam. They ignored everything he had been through, everything he had endured, everyone he had met, and all his growth, so he could satisfy his 22-year-old dreams. There is no universe in which this was a happy ending for Sam and I’m so heartbroken about it. 

[scoobydoodean]

ok so forewarning, i don’t really have a question here, just lots of thoughts.

there’s so many layers to the general *badness* about the mia vallens therapy scene. like to the manipulation (for lack of a better word) that sam rewrites. like it makes such a difference that she thinks jack is their little brother instead of the son of the thing that killed dean’s best friend/loml. not to mention the fact that it’s been what like a week since *everything*

and like yes dean’s being cold towards jack and giving him orders (which, i could argue they weren’t uncalled-for), but tbh he’s only being moderately colder/more direct with him than he’s been with cas at times on hunts (thinking hunteri heroici) and even similar to how *sam* has been with like claire and even dean himself (thinking that episode dean turned into a teenager and all of MOC). like genuinely, how was sam expecting him to act like?

also (half joking) i genuinely think dean would’ve warmed up to jack even quicker than he did (we can already see it in this same episode, like that look he gives jack when he asks mia if buddy hurt her too) if he heard jack say he hates anakin skywalker lol

ok wait i do have a question. do you think jack actually was “terrified” of dean during that therapy scene?

(post linking to some context)

Okay so I rewatched 13.01-13.04 on a plane this past week so it's all extra fresh on my mind rn. The thing about 13.04 is that Dean wasn't comfortable bringing Jack on the hunt, and Jack didn't want to go, but Sam pushed insistently for all of them to go on the hunt together... primarily because Dean's feelings were thwarting Sam's plans for Jack and his own emotional coping mechanisms in a larger sense.

I think Dean's feelings compared to Sam's here are relatively more simple (and yet somehow still intensely misunderstood to a baffling degree). Dean was grieving. He was grieving Cas who died right in front of him, he was grieving Crowley (he pleads with Chuck to bring "even Crowley" back in 13.01!) and he was grieving Mary.

The thing with Dean's grief over Cas is this: instead of viewing it from Dean's perspective, we tend to analyze it as omniscient viewers who know Cas will come back, refusing see how miraculous Cas’s return truly was. We refuse to see Cas's death was different this time and appeared very permanent. There was no uncertainty like there was in season 7 or 8. His wings burned into the ground and his grace extinguished. Dean pleaded and prayed for Cas and Mary and Crowley's return to the only person who ever brought Cas back from certain death (via explosion in 5.01 and 5.22)—the person who told Dean in 11.23 he was leaving and Dean was on his own. Dean didn't hear back. The ONLY reason Cas comes back in 13.05 is that 1) Jack woke him him up unwittingly using powers no one knew he possessed and 2) Cas then annoyed a creature they didn't even know existed into letting him out of a place they 3) didn't even know existed and 4) Cas somehow came back with a body even though he had been burned to ash. All of this is completely miraculous. It was unforeseeable. It doesn’t even make complete sense as a viewer. In other words, Dean has ZERO reason to hope for Cas's return. There was ZERO reason to refuse to acknowledge that grief… but that's exactly what Sam does. He suggests Dean pray for Chuck to bring Cas back in 13.01. As soon as Sam knew Dean already tried that and Cas was DEAD dead, he treated Cas as something Dean needed to reframe and get over:

SAM: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do.

This is the "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" speech in 13.02—like a day after they burned Cas's body. Sam's wording here is cruel too—saying Dean is "thinking" Cas is gone as if he didn't die right in front of him? He refuses to acknowledge Cas's death as something Dean was actively and rightfully mourning. This becomes a major point of contention between the brothers at the end of 13.03.

DEAN: Look, I know you think that you can use [Jack] as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM: Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack!

Sam will only name Mary—the one person whose death they can’t 100% confirm (the same thing happens in front of Mia in 13.04). The absence of Cas’s name here is pointed. So Dean says:

DEAN: And what about Cas?

And how does Sam respond?

SAM: What about Cas?

Uh... wow. That's what really sets Dean off to full on shouting:

DEAN: [Jack] manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

Sam's denial of what Dean literally SAW (Cas died) and how that hurts—his insistence that Dean also halt grieving to hope for the impossible—it's a major sticking point and very revealing of Sam's own coping mechanisms. Sam's chief response to grief is to disassociate himself from it. We see a textbook case in season 8 (see: 8.08), but in most of the series, what this actually looks like for Sam is to keep moving and hunting (ex: 1.02, 2.02, 2.10, 2.11, 2.18 3.11, 4.09, 9.01) which is also why he insists on bringing Dean and Jack on the hunt in 13.04. Sam tries not to think about what they've lost and focuses on what he CAN do. He focuses on hoping Mary can be saved because she's the one person he didn't SEE die.

The thing about Dean’s grief over Mary is this: he convinces himself Lucifer had to have killed her. She's the one person whose death Dean can't be certain of, but he absolutely cannot bear the thought of hoping she’s alive and it turning out he’s wrong. He knows he wouldn’t psychologically survive hoping in that and his beliefs being crushed. It would be like losing his mom all over again (a THIRD time). So he sticks to what is most likely: Lucifer killed her. He can't contend with the hope Sam is clinging to desperately, and that's what makes them such poor companions in grief. Sam feels off balance when Dean won't keep moving and hoping like him—when Dean can't keep up the pace Sam wants to run at in his own grief—and in doing so, Sam keeps pushing Dean to contend with hopes that open Dean up to a WORLD of pain Sam can psychologically convince himself not to feel. Grieving together just really just doesn't work for them because they're never on the same page and deal in such different ways—and this has been hurting them from as early as 2.02!!!

Now to bring Jack into this more fully: Jack represents Sam and Dean's different perspectives on grief and on Mary. Just like Dean despairs over Mary's demise, Dean despairs over the possibility of Jack being good. He can't bear the idea of hoping in that and being wrong. The psychologically safest option for him is to assume the worst and not hope or believe in anything turning out okay.

Sam, on the other hand, pretty much immediately sees a way to use Jack to get Mary back. This is clear when he and Jack get locked up together in the jail cell in 13.01. After establishing that Jack isn't hearing things and (probably) isn't going to murder him imminently, Sam immediately starts down a line of questioning establishing how well Jack understands his powers, and then asks him outright:

SAM: Jack, look, um... before you were born, you -- you opened up a door to another world. Do you remember that? JACK: Yes. SAM: Okay, um, could you do that again?

Shortly after, when Sam arrives, he tells Dean (who is convinced after everything that happened in 12.23 that 12.19 that Jack is evil or will turn evil):

We need him.

Sam repeats this sentiment multiple times with clear meaning, and later in 13.04, he admits to Jack that he wants to use him to open the portal. This doesn't mean he doesn't also grow to see himself in Jack quickly and genuinely believe in his capacity for good, but he isn't fully honest with Jack about his motives until 13.04 where he finally comes clean, and this poisons the well with Jack a little.

@shallowseeker has pointed out before that in 13.03, while trying to figure out how to get Jack's powers to work (and spying on Jack through cameras from another room) Sam is seen reading "The Drama Of The Gifted Child". I wish I could find the post because Shal probably brought it up too, but when I was rewatching this episode, I noticed the chapter Sam had just settled into read before being interrupted was titled,

"Depression and Grandiosity: Two Related Forms of Denial"

Given the accusations flying from Sam toward Dean then from Dean toward Sam about denial in the following episode (13.04), this feels amusingly pointed. Dean is depressed (and about to attempt suicide in 13.05), Sam is depressed and has "grandiose" ideas of using Jack to pop open a portal to another reality while hiding behind the guise of being the most rational person in the room when he... isn't necessarily? And it's easy to argue "Well, Sam turns out to be right even if he didn't ultimately have much of a reason to think he was" but the core problem here is how his beliefs effect how he treats other people's grief. He isn't honest with Jack about his motives (while Dean is somewhat brutally honest) and pushes and watches even while claiming he's giving Jack space (13.03), he refuses to give Dean space to grieve even the family member they know is dead, he inserts a therapist into the situation and criticizes Dean's grief when Dean won't play his game, and in 13.05, after Dean says that he can't believe in anything right now, Sam's clumsy attempts at help involve plying Dean with alcohol he says he doesn't even want and trying to send him off to strip clubs—believing that Dean performing being okay will somehow address his mental state because Sam's idea of coping himself is simply "going through the motions".

As for Jack, I don't think he's scared of Dean. I think he's scared of what Dean believes. He's scared that Dean is right. From 13.01-13.06, Jack is contending with the question of whether he's destined for evil or good, and in his depressed state, Dean believes Jack is destined for evil because hoping in anything is completely beyond him at that moment. Sam tells Jack that he can be good, but he hides ulterior motives as to why he's being nice, and when those ulterior motives are revealed, it leaves Jack thinking Sam is the kind of person who will lie to Jack and tell him he's good just to get what he wants. Meanwhile, Jack knows Dean is being completely honest with him about what he believes. 13.03 and 13.04 clearly demonstrate that Jack understands the difference between beliefs and facts: Dean could be right or he could be wrong. What Jack holds onto like an anchor is that he can trust Dean to tell him the truth about what he believes—even if it hurts.

It's also just so obvious that Jack immediately wants Dean—specifically—to like him (see: Jack mimicking Dean's mannerisms while eating in 13.02, and his clumsy attempts to earn his favor in 13.04). Sam also picks up on this, and encourages Jack to seek Dean's approval in 13.04 to try and change Dean's beliefs. Sam (and to some extent Jack) are thinking in 13.04, that if Jack can prove to Dean that he can be good, and if Dean tells him he did a good job (which Dean does in the end), Jack can believe that. Sam sees that Jack wants Dean's approval and the impression that Dean's beliefs have had on Jack and thinks by pushing them together as soon as possible (when neither of them want to go on the hunt) and treating them as a family and forcing Dean to accept Jack when Dean just isn't ready (including by paralleling Jack with himself in a way that becomes an accusation), he can "fix" Jack so he isn't scared of his powers anymore (13.03) and then he can teach Jack to use his powers and Jack can open a portal to save their mom.

Jack's attempts to earn Dean's favor in 13.04 are clumsy. His first attempt is directly ignoring Dean telling him to wait in the car and sneaking into the crime scene, potentially contaminating it. At Mia's office, Jack's outburst about losing a mother is what allows Sam to set up the whole family therapy trap to begin with, and because Dean knows Sam is going to use that to hurt him, he warns Jack not to make outbursts like that. Dean is not being nice. Point blank. And I do think his tone is a little different than with Cas which in the past felt more like exasperation. I also don’t think it makes him the devil. I think that's understandable when putting in even a tiny amount of effort and it's kind of laughable to me how few people seem to even try because they're so caught up in Sam's happy family narrative and the idea that someone wanting Dean's approval presents an obligation that Dean give it no matter how emotionally impossible—and in a situation where asking him to lie would actually destroy that much more of Jack's trust.

[shallowseeker]

The dissociation is what makes the touch hesitant.

For better or for worse, Dean is living in reality concerning the death of Mary, and Sam is not.

///

Interestingly, Dean also has deaths he cannot tolerate, like when he has to leave the room during the impending death of Claire Novak in Ladies Drink Free or Jack’s incoming death in Byzantium.

Dean is also incredibly hesitant to touch Cas in Cas’s latter deaths, and seems dissociated and dazed. For example, Dean’s glassy-eyed autopilot after Cas falls in All Along the Watchtower or the fatal injury in Stuck in the Middle (with You), where he only clings to Cas after Cas is okay. He’s also quite dazed in Inherit the Earth, per the script.

///

Cas is—

[nononono can’t face it]

///

And Sam and Cas? Well, Cas is invincible in Sam’s mind, so Sam often doesn’t consider him dead at all, a bit like the Gordon-Dean conversation in season 2 about certain invincible figures always being there.

Dean comes to know quite painfully that Cas isn’t invincible, and even when he pays lip service to the idea, Dean worries himself sick.

But Sam often:

SAM: Hey, Cas, were you really dead?

CAS: Yes.

*Sam looks shocked*

5x01

///

SAM: What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?

DEAN (pained): You know he is.

13x01

In 15x09 The Trap and in 15x20 Carry On Sam was scripted to talk about Cas like this, almost childlike: “If Cas were here…[things would be okay].”

Even with his mistakes, Cas is a stabilizing force that John never was.

///

via @spnscripthunt

“Being sad in public…not my style.

Just sayin…this doesn’t just apply to Bobby and Dean. But Sam, too.

///

///

Yes, it’s a very interesting commentary on Sam’s hypocrisy in worrying about others as a way to escape his own feelings. (What he says about others often applies more to himself than he realizes!)

However.

Just because Sam runs from grief shouldn’t be taken as a sign he’s a husk with no emotions. That would be…a very Sam-coded way of thinking: “I don’t see it, so you must not be feeling it / you’re not grieving the right way.”

///

Not to mention: Cas himself is one of the most reserved grievers on the show.

Sam is dissociating.

Sam thesis: The man who fears grief the most.

Script “Absence,” via @spnscripthunt

[angel-fruitcake]

How is it canon when it’s unrequited u make no sense whatsoever is it delusion or memes

first of all- 'unrequited' means distinctly not returned. Dean's stunned lack of response in the moment was not a rejection of Cas' feelings, and should not be considered as such. therefore, Destiel cannot be considered unrequited.

second of all- Cas' love for Dean has been confirmed many times on multiple different occasions, by both Misha and Jensen themselves, as well as Robert Berens, to be romantic love. that is not up for interpretation. based on that fact alone, it is canon. whether or not Dean's feelings are ever explicitly and/or verbally expressed does not change the fact that Castiel is canonically in love with Dean Winchester. that makes it c a n o n.

third of all- the fact that Dean's feelings have not yet been verbally confirmed is of very little consequence when compared to the monumental amount of very compelling evidence suggesting that he does, in fact, return Cas' feelings, even if Dean himself hadn't yet realized it at the time of the confession.

if you have watched this show and actually picked up on the frankly staggering amount of very clear context clues, it is quite obvious that, aside from his brother, Castiel is the most important person in Dean's life, full stop.

i don't have the patience right now to list every single instance that suggests Dean's feelings for Cas are mutual; there are far too many. but i will remind you of the most significant ones:

when Cas died in the s12 finale, Dean mourned that loss unlike he had done with any other character death up to that point in the series, and the way in which Dean grieved Cas was very purposefully portrayed in such an undeniably different way than how Sam grieved Cas. even the loss of his mother seemed to almost pale in comparison to the immense weight of Cas' sudden absence in Dean's life. Dean mourned Cas like a spouse rather than like a brother or family member; it is known as the 'widower arc' for a reason.

Dean was nearly suicidal up until the very moment he learned that Cas had come back. when Cas inevitably returned, the sudden change in Dean's demeanor was so immediately apparent and extreme, it gave Sam whiplash.

in the final seasons, Dean no longer showed much if any interest in having any romantic or sexual partners, a stark contrast to earlier seasons. the last committed relationship he had was with Lisa, which was quite a few years prior. this is in direct contrast to Sam, who had several romantic love interests over the course of the show (Jess, Madison, Ruby, Amelia, Eileen). the role of closest person to Dean other than Sam was always filled by Cas, the only difference being the lack of romantic label.

Dean and Cas' relationship has been directly paralleled in multiple different instances with canonically romantic couples, the most significant ones being: Sam and Jess, Cain and his wife Collette, John and Mary (during the widower arc), and Sam and Eileen in the final season.

additionally, directly following Cas being taken by the empty, Sam's attempts to call Dean were completely ignored, despite Dean knowing that his brother needed confirmation that he was alive. the sole thing occupying Dean's mind at that moment was Castiel; nothing else in the world mattered.

do you get it?

[sunforgrace]

looove when dean winchester’s voice breaks over the saying cas’ name. grieve widower man grieve

[autisticandroids]

belated fic rec list, part five: dabb era

so! this is for day 1 of @spnficrecfest (you will notice that that was yesterday two days ago. uh huh). and i am compensating by creating FIVE SEPARATE ERA-SPECIFIC LISTS. this one is for dabb era, which i'm lumping together because it has broadly similar vibes. i intentionally did not put any post-despair destiel fix-its on here because that's kind of a genre unto itself. mainly destiel, with some other pairings or gen as well.

other lists: endverse // seasons four and five // season six // season nine

my fave dabb era fics, in increasing order of length

still beautiful by filthyalleyway, .5k, mcd warning

dean makes a pretty corpse. destiel.

gaze into the distant sky by vaguesurprise, 2k

a jack character study, on the topic of bear traps. gen.

the first commandment by angelfishofthelord, 2k, chose not to warn

cas grieves jack, and he does what he has to for his family. gen.

carry on by goldmonger, 3k

a vicious little vignette of family life in the bunker. gen.

the last drop (makes the cup run over) by slopeslippers, 4k

jack isn't coping very well with being god. gen.

15x06 "golden hour" by hal_incandenza, 4k

what if golden time was worse. and more depressing. and crucially, what if jack was there, in cas' mind. gen.

frustration by bitterred, 4k

dagon and kelly play house. dagonkelly.

this was your child. i can't imagine the pain. by slipper007, 4k

cas grieves jack and learns to live with it. gen.

the center of the labyrinth by vaguesurprise, 4k, mcd warning

a horror story about being god's favorite. chuck/dean, minor destiel.

blood spins my head by vaguesurprise, 5k

dagonkelly lesbian awakening. now with demon blood!

no guts by adamwilliamsthevfxguy, 5k chose not to warn and mcd warning

cas lashes out at dean in season fifteen. destiel.

by your hand by slopeslippers, 6k, chose not to warn

moriah if it had gone the way cas wished it had. destiel.

chug jug with you (number one victory royale) feat. leviathan by wintertree, 7k

jack and crowley hanging out. gen.

hymnal by burningtea, 7k

cas and mary at christmas. character study. destiel.

samson went back to bed by piesexuality, 9k

one of my favorite fics in this whole collection. cas does what he must to protect jack. now with mindwipes! destiel.

and laugh at gilded butterflies by ireallydidthistomyself, 13k

a rework of jack's early childhood where cas was there, and then a rework of the malak box where both cas and jack go in it. destiel.

sometimes a kind of singing by adi_rotynd, 22k

an unflinching examination on tfw 2.0's family dynamic. technically wip but done enough to be fine. gen.

the trapdoor by hal_incandenza, 161k so far, violence warning

destiel. this is maybe my favorite on the whole list. a full rewrite of seasons thirteen and fourteen, with whole new episodes of supernatural contained within. what if instead of stupid, the meta storyline of supernatural was in fact good? and interesting? what then? what would happen?

[hells-plaid-angel]

Destiel Pride: Featherlight

There comes a time in the grieving process when you run out of things to destroy. There are only so many colourful curses that can be screamed and muffled into the fabric of a trench coat. There are only so many people to blame before it becomes obvious the culprit is the person staring at you in the mirror each morning — or night. Time loses all meaning but before and after. There are no true mornings when mourning. Without Cas, there is no sun rising, only setting. That was how Dean lived in the weeks after Cas was dragged into The Empty.

He still hadn't used the word 'death', not even in the sanctity of his head. 'Death' was a slippery word when it came to the Winchesters, and Cas — whether the bastard liked it or not, was a Winchester by default. He was family. Goddamn family, with all the shitty hang-ups that came with the title.

The word 'death' didn't seem to encompass the grief. Cas was absent from any place that Dean could find him. Even in death, Dean would find him. The lack of him throbbed like bruised knuckles. It only hurt when he moved or thought about it, or stayed too still.

When two months had passed and all options Dean could think of had been explored to get Cas out of The Empty, he was left in the wreckage that'd once been his bedroom. The only things left intact fell into two categories, things that'd been too tough to break, and things that belonged to Cas.

In the silence that followed the carnage, Dean was left with what he'd been avoiding, a moment to think. He wasn't struck by a revelation. 'Revelation' wasn't the right word. He was struck instead by a sense of recognition. A long-hidden truth had stilled his hand and hollowed what was left of his body.

Cas loved him, he knew that. He'd known from the second the angel was gone. He knew what kind of love Cas meant. What he hadn't realised until he was hunched over himself, holding the splintered remains of his nightstand was that he loved Cas back. His loss had brought a torrent of rage because where the hell was all his love meant to go? When Cas left, he'd taken Dean's love with him.

And goddamn wasn't that the cosmic kick in the balls to bookend what he'd deemed a tragic existence? He'd been thinking about death and how useless death would be if Cas wasn't on the other end of it. He was thinking of life in much the same light.

Dean hadn't been raised to know what to do with a grief so all-encompassing it ran in the background of his existence like a mixtape on a road trip. If he followed his father's example, all that was left to do was to become an obsessed bastard, and destroy himself and everyone he touched in slow motion. The Winchester rule for dealing with grief? Become the gangrene in the wound. Make everything so much worse.

When Cas arrived at the door of the bunker a month later, Dean didn't know what to do. Everything in him pushed towards anger, towards utter annihilation of all that was good in himself. However, upon seeing the look of uncertainty on the angel's face decades of rage disappeared. What he was left with was the familiar ring of tinnitus and the thick pit of dread that'd settled in his stomach. What the hell were they meant to do now?

"Hello, Dean," Cas spoke, like nothing had happened. Giving Dean an out, he knew he'd never be able to take.

There was too much left unsaid between them to go tumbling back into cowboy hats and coffee quips like their last run-in with death.

Dean knew he was meant to talk but he'd never been much of a talker when it counted. His hands trembled as they moved unbidden to hover over Cas' shoulder. He needed to touch the guy, to make sure he was real but to do so felt too definitive. If Cas was an illusion, Dean didn't care. He wanted him to stay put for once.

Dean's hands hovered ghostlike in the space between them, haunted as the rest of his body by the loss of the angel. His fingers flittered around Cas' body, nervous birds on hot, highway concrete. They'd land for a moment, featherlight, before taking off again. They explored Castiel's arms, his chest, his cheeks. All the while, Dean remained silent as the saint he wasn't.

In all his imaginings of their reunion, everything had been intense, whether he was throwing curses or kisses at Cas. He'd never expected his lips to lock and his body to betray him by shaking like a goddamn leaf in the breeze. He felt like he was a kid again, lost, silent and looking for someone or something to hold onto with all his fucking might.

He wanted to find his tongue, to say something to wipe the look of absolute bewilderment and trepidation from Cas' face but what the hell was there to say? No words would be enough.

He placed his hands on either side of Cas' face, watching the angel's eyes swell. He wanted a grand gesture. Cas deserved it, but Dean was still tied in knots trying to work out if this was a line they could cross and walk back from. Dean didn't know what he'd do if he screwed things up, terrified Cas would be another home he could never return to.

His lips found the scrape of Cas' cheek. The familiar five o'clock shadow on the unfamiliar territory of his mouth. It was so unlike Dean to be any kind of tender. There was no way the action could be misconstrued for anything other than what it was. A promise? A confession?

His hands had landed on the small of Cas' back and the curve of his hip. He opened his mouth to speak but the words came out garbled, sounding embarrassingly close to a sob.

Still, his mouth wouldn't shape the words. He closed his eyes and prayed, hoping Cas would hear.

Don't you ever do that to me again.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 9: Empty Rescue

his and mine are the same | @cascigarette Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,510 Main Tags/Warnings: Post Canon Fix-It, Dean Winchester Has Abandonment Issues, Alcohol, First Kiss, Newly Human Castiel, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Use their Words Summary: Dean rescues Cas from the Empty. They end up having to talk about that final confession.

Two lesbians, two bicons, and their cat walk into super turbohell | @nuttysaladtree Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2,038 Main Tags/Warnings: crossover with She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, the Empty, Fix-it, first kiss Summary: And they bury one person and zero gays. 15x20 "Carry On" finale fix-it that Castiel deserves. Mentioned Bow/Glimmer. Sam Winchester shows up, too, as well as the OTP Dean x pie. Melog is best kitty, and good riddance to the Empty/Shadow/Cosmic Entity and Horde Prime.

sometimes you just don't know the answer (wait for me) | @cassiecasyl Rating: General Word Count: 7,992 Main Tags/Warnings: Canonical Character Death, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Grief/Mourning, Album: evermore (Taylor Swift), Grieving Dean Winchester, Episode: s15e18 Despair, Alternate Ending, Inspired by Orpheus and Eurydice (Ancient Greek Religion & Lore), Reunion, Castiel in the Empty (Supernatural), Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Angst, Hope vs. Despair, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by Hadestown, Song: Doubt Comes In, The Fates (Hadestown) Cameo, First Kiss, Reunions, Epic Love Summary: As Dean grieves, Jack tells them of an old story, one that has been told and sung over and over again anyway. Two lovers challenge the universe to escape death. They walk the long way home, but the one in front is not allowed to turn around for the whole way. Every entity of grand power knows this, for the pact has to be respected were it ever to be attempted again. Of course, Dean goes to find Castiel, because if anyone can do this, it's them.

Can't Stop Lovin' You | @teeparadigm67 Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9,512 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Castiel is Saved from the Empty, First Kiss, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Happy Ending, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from the Empty Summary: On paper, the plan seemed simple. Jack opens the portal between the worlds. Dean walks into the Empty and makes it loud enough to wake the dead. Drag Cas’s feathery ass out of there. Simple, right? Cloaked in Cas’s grace, tape deck in hand with Van Halen blasting out its little speaker, he plans to bring the angel home and tell Cas all the things left unspoken between them for all these years. Now they have a chance, he can’t throw this all away. The only problem is, the Empty has other ideas. It doesn't stop Dean however, it’s his turn to be the one who drags Cas out of perdition. Inspired by: Van Halen - Can't Stop Lovin' You

Bring Me To Life | @Taymarpigeon Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,960 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gratuitous Smut, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Dean Winchester Calls Castiel "Angel", Bottom Dean Winchester/Top Castiel (Supernatural), Interrupting Sam Winchester Summary: In 2008 Dean Winchester met a man who changed everything; he says a man, Castiel Angel of the Lord was so much more than a man and not just because of the whole halo and wings thing. November 5th 2020 Castiel sacrificed himself to save Dean and by extension the world, but not before turning the hunter's life upside down one last time. In 2025 Dean was... moving on, let's put it that way. He hadn't forgotten Cas, spending the past five years trying to be all the things the Angel said he was in that teary goodbye. He put one foot in front of the other, day by day, because as Frank Devereaux once said: 'that's what you do'. This life only ends one way for most hunters though and Dean was no exception. Skip four months into the future and he's back, only this time he's done playing by the rules, done pretending his life didn't end with Cas that day in the dungeon. He's done. Time to do what he should have from the beginning...

stay | @thisisapaige Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,073 Main Tags/Warnings: Fix-It, Post-Canon, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Light Angst, Happy Ending Summary: Standing on the bridge beside his brother, Dean looks around. Something’s wrong. Because this Heaven, this place Dean supposedly deserves, just seems so... empty.

The Little Issue with the Mission to Perdition | @amaranthhiding Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,460 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 15x19, Jack and Amara Try Fixing Things Together But Make Everything Worse (at first), Amara is Part of Team Free Will, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Major Character Death, Angst with Happy Ending, First Kiss, DCRB 2023 Summary: Chuck is defeated and his power now belongs to Jack and Amara. They struggle with adjusting to their newly-shared existence, and with big questions such as, how can (almost) all-powerful beings avoid becoming what Chuck was? What even is all that power good for when it doesn't allow Jack to save someone from the Empty who absolutely deserves being saved? Who thought it was a good idea to hand all that power to two beings who, together, have spent less years on Earth than the average human child? ...And why is there suddenly black goo everywhere?

Until the Moss Had Reached Our Lips | @alulangel Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,543 Main Tags/Warnings: Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Lake House, Saved from the Empty, Groundhog Day Loop, Castiel’s True Form, Castiel’s handprint, Creepy forests, Inappropriate use of pie Summary: After everything with Chuck went down, Dean thought he deserved some time off. Not a retirement, just a break. A little cabin by a lake. Fishing. Baking. Time to process and reflect. Except he doesn't remember exactly how he got there. And he doesn't know why he can't leave. And there's something about the woods around the cabin, creeping closer and closer and closer every day...

one working part | @mittensmorgul Rating: Explicit Word Count: 40,051 Main Tags/Warnings: Inspired by It's a Wonderful Life (1946) Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural) Angst and Fluff and Smut POV Alternating Not Canon Compliant with Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), Human Castiel Summary: Wherein they actually inherit the earth. Again. Because I will never be done retelling the end of their story in more sensible and satisfying ways. This time, via the power of a classic holiday film... with a slightly demonic twist.

Empty Earth (WIP) | @amaranthhiding Rating: No Rating Word Count: 102,437 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-15x18, Epic, Plotty, Angel True Forms, Consensual Possession, Enochian, Apocalypse, Rebellion in Hell, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Witch!Sam, Destiel and Samwena, Jack & his three fathers, Crowley & Jack Summary: After Castiel's confession, Dean carries a spark of hope telling him this can't be the end. This spark is the strongest weapon for Dean, Sam and Jack in this final war. The enemy is God. The battlefield is an Earth devoid of humans, a Hell in rebellion against its queen, and a Heaven betrayed by its creator. And the stakes are everything and everyone they have ever cared about.

[supernatural-case]

one thing I never ever see us talk about is that jack is his son, and losing him would absolutely ruin cas. it did wreck him.

I think, when cas comes back and learns what jack did, what he gave up, he would be torn apart by pride (in what jack sacrificed to save the world) and grief (in jack giving up his life, in jack being only four and losing out on his own life).

cas loves dean. it’s canon, it’s romantic, it is likely requited, but if the end of the world came down to jack or dean, cas would choose jack over and over. it’s shown in season 14’s final episode alone. neither love outshines the other, certainly — but that love also does not disappear.

they are different kinds of love, absolutely. this post is basically in response to a lot of destiel fics focusing on dean and cas (which is fair!), but I would love to see more fix-it fics with jack (and sam), and I would especially love to see more fics with jack where he maintains the role that he chose as god, but where cas grieves him while he and dean sort out their issues. (there’s a wonderful fic that exemplifies cas’s grief — highly recommend “fenario” by ftmsteverogers on ao3.)

I think the only thing the finale may have gotten right (entirely by accident, as it was a cover-up as to why they wrote misha out of it) was that cas might choose to stay a little bit longer with jack because he loved him, and he was his son. he might not go rushing to find dean because of his concern for his child in that child’s new, massive role.

give me more cas grieving the child his son could never be.

[dotthings]

Finally!!! Some light and hope returns to S7. Made it through the Casless stretch to 7.17.

Some thoughts on Dean and Cas:

Dean's quest to save Sam leads him back to Cas. The mysterious breeze (we know who that is) shows Dean the taxidermy guy's card, and he tells Dean about Emanuel.

"Screw Cas" -- because Cas knocked down Sam's wall and then abandoned them, by dying, or so Dean thought, so Dean's still angry and hurt. Trying not to care, but he still cares

Oh the staring when they are face to face again. Dean cannot seem to stop staring at Cas. That's not me being poetic with a headcanon exaggeration, that's what's on the screen, I didn't make the rules.

Dean watches Daphne and Emanuel a little bit like how Cas watched Dean and Anna kiss. Less furtive. But the open-eyed wounded baby seal longing sense of wonder on Dean's face is stabbing me in the heart.

"What's your issue" -- how much time do you have Emanuel? Okay, in simple terms, Sam needs help. But the things Dean doesn't say is you!! you are my issue I loved you and you betrayed me and then died and I'm not okay I didn't want to lose you and I'm still mad but glad to see you again and I'm a mess and I've been angry grieving, that's my freakin' issue!!!

The golden-amber light washing over Dean and Emanuel's faces in the car. Light washing over Dean with Cas's return, first invented in S7.

Dean's treading carefully. He wants Cas back, he also doesn't want to disturb Emanuel's peace. And Dean's still upset and hurt and angry and not over it but also he's glad to see Cas again. Dean's going through it. And Dean can open up to Emanuel in ways he's not ready to with Cas. "You're angry...he betrayed you." "Yeah, well, he's gone....I used to be able to just shake this stuff off. You know. Whatever it was. Might take me some time but I always could. What Cas did--I just can't, I don't know why." YES I WONDER WHY THAT IS WHY DOES IT MATTER WHY DOES IT CUT SO DEEP "Well, it doesn't matter why." "Of course it matters." "No. You're not a machine, Dean. You're human." THERE IT IS. After a series of characters telling Dean to suck it up and deal, Emanuel is the one who looks at him and sees Dean's vulnerability and humanity and says it's okay. Some part of Cas is Emanuel, even if he has amnesia, it's instinct, it's things Cas wouldn't be able to open up and say, not at this point, but that he believes. Cas sees Dean even if he doesn't know himself right now.

"Now picture Crowley with his hands on harmless little amnesia Cas" -- soooo interesting how Meg tries to play Dean's worry for Cas into inveigling what she wants. She knows some things.

Dean's pissed at the idea of Meg using Emanuel and turning him back into "an angel sized weapon." He wants to do this carefully. He needs Emanuel to fix Sam, but he doesn't want Cas harmed or his peace shattered. This is Dean trying to let Cas rake leaves.

Dean also seems incredibly annoyed by Meg sidling up to Emanuel and trying to flirt. Protective. Jealous even.

"You just met yourself. I've known you for years." The way that's worded. Dean doesn't just say "I already knew you." He says for years. They've been through a lot. It's like Dean is feeling all of it.

Dean is finally persuaded, for Sam's sake, to let Emanuel break out the angel mojo, but he's reluctant. Knowing what this could do to Cas, the pain he'll experience if his memories return.

That SPN used Turn Into Earth by the Yardbirds, which was the band who became Led Zeppelin, for a music video montage of Cas's memories returning, where Dean is prominently featured in 98% of the images. ACTUAL THINGS SPN CANON DID. Making a Destiel fanvid and stuck it in an episode. Okay.

Where did Dean's anger fly off to? "If you remember then you know you did the best you could at the time." He doesn't think Cas is a bad guy. "Don't defend me." -- Cas has always taken responsibility for his screw ups. Always. And takes a lot on himself to atone. That is how the character has been and he's like that all the way through. And he comes back to fix it.

Dean pulling Cas's trenchcoat out of the trunk of the junker of the week and handing it to Cas. Dean kept it!!!! He didn't just stick it in storage, he moved it from junker to junker, for months, keeping the last piece of Cas Dean had left with him and Sam. The ep that aired isn't even as sentimental as the cut scene--the dialogue we saw in a promo "something in me always knew you'd come back"--yet it's unhinged enough as it is!!!!

"I should never have broken your wall, Sam. I'm here to make it right." Cas always tries to make it right.

Dean doesn't know what's going on as Cas walks over to Sam, and asks "Cas, what are you doing" a bit alarmed. Dean wanted Cas to fix Sam, and they both at first Cas could with just a touch to rebuild the wall, but the wall's crumbled. And there's only one way--for Cas to absorb Sam's Lucifer hallucination. It's Cas's decision, and it's done before Dean can even try to stop it. While Dean of course is glad Sam is okay--that's not how Dean wanted to get there.

At the time it seemed a bit cold that Sam and Dean parked mentally ill Cas at the asylum and left--we'd only just gotten Cas back on the show and he gets shoved off screen again. But there are contractual things--Misha was signed for a 4 ep arc. Looking at it in-story, Dean says he's worried they can't protect Cas, with all that's out there, between Crowley's demons and the leviathans, and Dean says they should leave Cas where he's safe. Watched over by one of their former enemies--but Meg is the only resource they've got who can do it and she's at least playing at being an ally and she does seem to like Cas. It's again Dean's version of letting Cas rake leaves, keeping him safe.

[soft-pine]

as the strange combination of a bitter deangirl (gn) and a deancas shipper, i cannot overstate how much i appreciate everyone's thoughtful 15.09 The Trap takes. my only contribution to the conversation is that 15.03 kills me.

at the end of s14, everything happens so fast. cas finally admits to himself something's really wrong with jack. meanwhile jack's killed nick and mary. dean is devastated. rightfully angry. then jack's manipulated into fucking with the whole world. they don't know what to do. the plan dean and sam come up with seems like the only thing with anything close to jack's power. and even cas suggests locking jack away until they have more time to work things out. like i cannot overstate how dramatically quickly everything is unfolding. chuck shows up and says jack will end the world. dean was never gonna be okay with the world ending. was never gonna be okay with anyone but himself sacrificing to make that happen. instead they find out chuck is messing with them. he kills jack, opens hell, and they spend an awful horrible week trying to fight ghosts they thought they'd dealt with long ago, while trying to keep a whole town safe and calm, while grieving jack's death, while having to talk to a demon in his corpse, while reckoning with the fact that everything they've ever known is a lie and an elaborate set-up for a cosmic being's entertainment. like it is punch after punch for weeks and weeks with no breathing room. finally culminating in cas doing something which makes sense but is also very much a pattern where he just decides what to do. which results in rowena dying and sam being entirely torn up.

the conversation dean is having right before cas leaves in 15.03 is trying to take care of a broken up sam. based on what dean says it seems like they haven't even been home for a day. like they haven't even had a moment to try to decompress from the series of escalating, terrifying events which they've been dealing with for days and days pretty much nonstop.

it always strikes me then that what cas says is "You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me..... I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care. I'm... dead to you." i recognize he's parroting back something dean said in 14.18 but i don't understand, i really don't, what the timeline he's working off is. like when is dean supposed to have enough space to work through the emotional ramifications of everything above. when is he supposed to have calmed down enough settle in to feeling any one kind of way.

"You still blame me for Mary." like it just happened, my guy. like where was he supposed to work in grieving for his mom (again) and working to move on from the grief and blame, into fighting off a ghost apocalypse and finding out god is basically jacking off to his pain.

i think patience and understanding has always been one of dean's strong suits. and i think cas tends toward impatience more. and it does make sense that when dean truly does get to the edge of his patience, that feels like a breaking point to cas because he has always had access to it before.

in response, i do think cas is allowed to be reactive and hurt and angry! after all he just went through all of the above as well!!!! but i think it's a grave mistake to think that cas doesn't also need to apologize for lashing out in anger.

[deancasbigbang]

Title: I'm Not Living Here Without You

Author: Avonlady

Artist: TwinOne

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel; Meg Masters/Bela Talbot; mentioned Gabriel/Kali; past Charlie Bradbury/Dorothy; implied Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle

Length: 26229

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply; Cancer Diagnosis

Tags: Dean/Cas Established Relationship; Castiel has cancer; Angst; fluff; explicit sexual content; Dean Winchester wears panties; Dean Winchester is in denial; minor character death; grieving; eventual happy ending (Castiel lives)

Posting Date: November 5, 2024

Summary: Castiel promised Dean that they would be together forever. They met when they were just kids and they were each other’s first everything. They are happy and have an unbreakable bond that makes them the envy of everyone around them. Everything changes 15 years into their marriage when Castiel is diagnosed with cancer and the doctors aren’t very hopeful that the treatments will work. Dean is crushed and spends a lot of time in denial while trying to find a cure for his husband. Castiel knows that his dying will destroy Dean, so he fights as hard as he can to stay alive for his husband’s sake.

Excerpt: “Cas, have you seen my green tie?” Dean yells towards the living room from their bedroom. “I think it’s in the closet.” His husband’s voice yells back at him.  Dean keeps searching, but he isn’t having any luck finding it. Tonight is their 15-year-wedding-anniversary dinner and he wants it to be special. Dean knows how much Castiel likes his green tie because it brings out his eye color, so he needs to find it, no matter how long it takes. He hears someone clear their throat and he turns around to see Castiel holding his tie, a snarky grin plastered on his face. Dean reaches for it, and begins tying it as he speaks. “Thanks, babe. Where did you find it?” “It was right where you left it last, on the bed in the guest room.” “Why the hell did I leave it there?” “I don’t know. I’m not sure it would be safe for anyone to try to figure out what goes on in that gorgeous head of yours.” Dean grabs Castiel by the back of the neck and pulls him closer, kissing him on the lips. “Do you think we have time to fool around a little before we go?” Dean says with a waggle of his eyebrows.  “We do not have time, Dean. The reservation is in an hour. We can always fool around when we get home.” Castiel gives him a swat on the ass. “Now, finish getting ready. I’m hungry.” Castiel leaves the room and Dean watches him as he walks away. He will never take for granted how lucky he is to have been able to marry his childhood sweetheart. Castiel makes him so happy and he knows he would be lost without him. That’s why he tries to show him everyday how much he loves him.  They met in 1st grade, two years after Dean’s mom, Mary, died of cancer and his father’s soul died right along with her. Dean didn’t talk for two years, but the moment he saw Castiel and glanced into those blue eyes that gave Dean hope that good things still existed, he finally found his voice again. Dean didn’t like to talk much about Mary and John became a living ghost once she was gone, so Dean and Sam were raised by John’s brother, Bobby. Dean hasn’t seen John in 15 years. They have been distant ever since John made a scene at Dean and Castiel’s wedding spouting hatred about how Mary would be rolling over in her grave if she knew her eldest son was marrying a man. Castiel broke his nose and told him if he ever came near Dean again, he would do worse. That moment just cemented the fact that he was going to be with Castiel forever.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[ananke-xiii]

Although I mainly see the first six episodes of s13 as an engaging portrayal of two grief-stricken people lacking the tools to deal with what has happened to them, I can also totally see them as the so-called "widower arc". Two things can be true at the same time because yes, Dean was totally grieving Cas' death. But I'll make it worse for you.

Maybe I'm biased by the many times I've read the term "widower arc" but Dean was 100% looking for a consort in Cas in s12 (yes, "consort", I'm tired of "partner" or "boy/girlfriend", they're weak terms, give me "sharing destiny" type of old words) so I think this interpretation is not so far-fetched.

We have a grieving widow(er), a desired consort who's dead and then resurrects and a son who's been defined as "the rising son". As I've already said these are some of the elements of one of the most ancient myths in Western culture, that is the myth of Isis and Osiris.

Now, of course it was not a retelling of that myth, I don't even think it was a conscious effort to shape the story that way but sometimes symbols will be symbols, what can you do?

First of all, two brothers: Set and Osiris and Lucifer and Cas. We know how it goes, one brother kills the other (As an aside in one version Set built a wooden chest and tricked Osiris to enter into it just to seal it and drown it in the Nile. We have totally NEVER seen this image in Supernatural. Not even ONCE).

Things get very interesting from here on because in the myth there's a lot of focus on the body of the deceased brother, Osiris/Cas. The most famous way Set disposed of his brother's corpse was to cut it into pieces, to... tear him apart if you will. It is then kinda WILD that AU!Michael kills "his" Lucifer the same way:

MIchael: I killed my Lucifer. Tore him apart in the skies over Abilene. But hey, can’t get enough of a good thing.

Apparently, the body must be somehow intact for resurrection to happen. In the myth Isis has to find his husband's bodyparts scattered all over Egypt in order to resurrect him. So we need to pay extra close attention to Cas' body which we are actually shown in that tragic scene where Dean prepares him for the pyre. So it's Dean who takes care of Cas' body, who "collects" it, just like Isis. Interesting.

In SPN "What gets burned stays dead", therefore Cas cannot resurrect, or so they think. The mantra is repeated by Jack in "Tombstone" when he first sees his father. To be honest, we don't really know how Cas resurrects. For the first time we see what happens to him between death and rebirth but we miss the technicalities. We can only assume that Cas' ashes were enough. Or maybe, just maybe, that's just a rule that applies in Chuck's story. Just saying.

I'm not sure if they try to discover how Jack managed to do that but the point remains: it was Jack who woke Cas up in the Empty.

And why did he do that? Well, because he can. The very first thing that Jack does is resurrecting Kelly in an episode aptly named "The Future", where Jack is sort of introduced via his mother's resurrection. He doesn't know how to use this power but he unconsciously does it again with his father. And I ask again: why?

Jack wakes Cas up in "The Big Empty", four episodes into the season. He could've done it sooner? No. Because what prompts him to unconsciously act is Dean's grief. And Dean reaches his boiling point when Sam finally provokes him. Osiris/Cas dies and his consort Isis/Dean is inconsolable. Other people like Sam can forget about it, but Dean can't in every sense of the verb.

In the myth it's Isis who resurrects Osiris and has a child, Horus, with him. But she got help. Dean's only human but there is a demi-god running around in his bunker so I think that helped. And Cas must be credited for the effort and the pushing.

Let's just say that resurrecting Castiel took three, actually four people okay? It required a team effort. Because none of them is a fully-fledged god like God or Amara or some Archangel who can just snap their fingers and boom welcome back to Life. Coaxing someone into resurrection (a resurrection with consent) takes a lot of willpower... and a lot of love.

I said four people because the last character in this little story is The Shadow. And we see this in the myth as well!

Isis doesn't "just" resurrect Osiris, she has to convince the motherfucker. Cause, you see, Osiris's heart was tired. A tired heart! Oh so beautiful! He didn't see the reason to go back to life. He was sooo tired. Isis has to literally seduce him back to life. And... this is kind of what The Shadow does, but in reverse? It tells Castiel to go back to sleep, to find peace, it's been in his mind and he wants to sleep, it knows!

The Shadow is Cas' tiredness, all his failures and regrets. But, as I said, it takes a lot of willpower and a lot of love to resurrect the dead, this is what Isis teaches us actually. To love more and then some more. And Cas loves back and he loves hard.

Castiel: You can prance and you can preen and you can scream and yell and remind me of my failings but somehow, I’m awake. And I will stay awake and I will keep you awake until we both go insane. I will fight you. Fight you and fight you for…ever. For eternity.

He didn't come back because he annoyed an ancient cosmic being. He came back because he loved.

So Osiris/Cas are back to life and that's good, right? Well... yeahhh. The thing is that Osiris will then live in the world of the dead so he kinda doesn't really really stay alive for long. And Isis will follow him. Things will likely go bad for Cas.

But the story continues!

Set/Lucifer and Horus/Jack engage in a rather disturbing (in the myth) struggle for power. The myth has different endings: in one they reconcile, in another they divide the realm, in yet another one Horus is the one true winner. So we don't really know (from this point in the narrative) how things will actually turn out for the two of them.

Isn't it interesting? Well, it's not surprising because there is a connection between christian stories and greek and egyptian ones but still? Kinda cool to see how myths keep repeating and repeating. As if we're still trying to understand them.

Anyway: yes to the widower arc, yes to love piercing through the veil of death. Both ways! It takes the love of two to resurrect.