#seeeing some shit go around bc sam didn’t *grieve right* for mary

[shallowseeker]

The dissociation is what makes the touch hesitant.

For better or for worse, Dean is living in reality concerning the death of Mary, and Sam is not.

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Interestingly, Dean also has deaths he cannot tolerate, like when he has to leave the room during the impending death of Claire Novak in Ladies Drink Free or Jack’s incoming death in Byzantium.

Dean is also incredibly hesitant to touch Cas in Cas’s latter deaths, and seems dissociated and dazed. For example, Dean’s glassy-eyed autopilot after Cas falls in All Along the Watchtower or the fatal injury in Stuck in the Middle (with You), where he only clings to Cas after Cas is okay. He’s also quite dazed in Inherit the Earth, per the script.

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Cas is—

[nononono can’t face it]

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And Sam and Cas? Well, Cas is invincible in Sam’s mind, so Sam often doesn’t consider him dead at all, a bit like the Gordon-Dean conversation in season 2 about certain invincible figures always being there.

Dean comes to know quite painfully that Cas isn’t invincible, and even when he pays lip service to the idea, Dean worries himself sick.

But Sam often:

SAM: Hey, Cas, were you really dead?

CAS: Yes.

*Sam looks shocked*

5x01

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SAM: What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?

DEAN (pained): You know he is.

13x01

In 15x09 The Trap and in 15x20 Carry On Sam was scripted to talk about Cas like this, almost childlike: “If Cas were here…[things would be okay].”

Even with his mistakes, Cas is a stabilizing force that John never was.

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via @spnscripthunt

“Being sad in public…not my style.

Just sayin…this doesn’t just apply to Bobby and Dean. But Sam, too.

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Yes, it’s a very interesting commentary on Sam’s hypocrisy in worrying about others as a way to escape his own feelings. (What he says about others often applies more to himself than he realizes!)

However.

Just because Sam runs from grief shouldn’t be taken as a sign he’s a husk with no emotions. That would be…a very Sam-coded way of thinking: “I don’t see it, so you must not be feeling it / you’re not grieving the right way.”

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Not to mention: Cas himself is one of the most reserved grievers on the show.

Sam is dissociating.

Sam thesis: The man who fears grief the most.

Script “Absence,” via @spnscripthunt