#dean = humanity and cas = sad doomed little world

[winchestergifs]

STACKEDNATURAL ⇉ 168/327 (part 2)

12.9 First Blood Written by Andrew Dabb Directed by Bob Singer Original Air Date: January 26, 2017

[fndmxreader]

TITLE :  hit the pause button,  we’re all that matters  . PAIRINGS :   poly!dean x reader x cas .   REQUEST :   Cas + dean + reader all doing a self care day (at readers request) and have it involve fluffy stuff like putting mud masks on each other NOTE : with me making this a series,  i decided to focus on the mud mask part for now  !  the bath part of the request will turn up at some point on the blog though <3  INSPO :   and you can tell everybody this is your song, it may be quite simple but now that it's done : i hope you don't mind, i hope you don't mind that i put down in words how wonderful life is while you're in the world. 

   IT TOOK A GOOD COUPLE OF DAYS OF PESTERING .   cas and dean were not only two of the most stubborn people on the planet,  but they were also major workaholics that never truly knew when to lay weapons down and call it a day  .  certainly a deadly and highly frustrating combo,  though you weren’t the one to point fingers...   couldn’t just blame them for it,  you were the same in that regard -  but at least you took off the rose tinted glasses every so often,   seeing that what you were all doing was utterly exhausting,  dragging each of you down in such a way that you felt not only yourself,  but your two boyfriends changing .  you noticed how cas begins to act like the serious angel that first stepped foot on earth,  how his eyes hardened and began to cut jokes short and patience run thin .  how dean never seemed to come to bed anymore,  how the bags under his eyes got deeper and there isn’t much spare beer in he fridge  .   you began to feel lonely,  the work effecting you in a way that just made you quiet and less responsive .    getting involved had to happen sooner or later  (  you’ll beat yourself up over this,  it should’ve been sooner,  you left it too late this time . )  

    SO IT STARTED BY HINTING AT THEM TO TAKE A BREAK,  an attempt to try and get them to admit how exhausted they were,  how everything seemed to just ware them down .  at first,  dean just pressed a barely there kiss to your lips   “ we need to get this done,  baby “  then, castiel wrapped his arms around your shoulders and burying his face into your hair with a sigh  “ dean is right,  we must focus on the task at hand,  our enemies do not sleep “   you just bit your lip, nodding weakly and allowing them to continue .   but you were persistent,    a quality that your boys absolutely worshiped in you and at times,  hated .   

    IT’S WHEN YOUR HINTING BECAME POINTLESS DID YOU TAKE ACTION,   you knew the cold shoulders weren’t on purpose,  that the world should come first ...  and while its selfish to ask...  why is that  ?  you’re certainly not against stopping the impending doom,  but why should you all work yourselves to death,  why should the three of you not stop to breathe and remember that they need to save the world,  not for everyone else,  but for yourselves  ?   so you had bought a spa kit,   not the cheap kind,  the kind where you winced at the receipt and instantly threw it away (  along with tearing price tags off of items )  -  it’s not the type of money you had,  but you knew the long run would be worth far more than an extra digit  .      

    PULLING IT OFF WAS EASIER THAN YOU PLANNED  .    you had never seen them so out of it to not notice you up to something,  you remember when you were planning on stealing deans plaid shirt for the day and he had noticed how fidgety you were, he had wasted no time calling you out with a big grin on his face -  for you to be sneaking around,  walking up and down and not really talking to them,  and for them to say nothing ?   you knew it was bad,  and this idea couldn’t have come quick enough .  you had everything set up in a few hours,    making face masks,  cutting cucumbers,  setting up a movie marathon, this was going to be the best,  most relaxing night ever,  you were going to make sure of it .     

    “ RIGHT BOYS “   hands clapping loudly and entering the main room where cas and dean were, holding some comfortable clothes under your arms for them to get changed into,  you yourself was dressed in a old button up of castiels topped of with some fuzzy slippers  .  dean had just entered the room with a beer in hand,  his only form of break he understands, castiel then placed the book down on the table delicately to give you his attention  “  WE NEED A BREAK,  i’m not giving you an option -  i don’t think you both realize how much...  this is getting to us all “ you tried your best to remain excited,  ignoring how sad you sounded towards the end,  dean opened his mouth to speak and you could already predicted the protest   “ ah ah ah ,   mr.  i haven’t slept in the same bed as my girlfriend and boyfriend in four weeks,  you definitely don’t get a say ! “   you placed the clothes on the table,  pushing castiel clothes to him and skipping towards dean to hand them over  “  CHANGE,  NOW “ 

    “ I LOVE IT when you get all bossy “  dean muttered,  you couldn’t hold back the laugh and the eye roll as you walked away .  

---  

  THAT WAS AN HOUR AGO .  a western played softly in the background as you finally convinced castiel to put the face mask on,  surprisingly enough you had thought dean would protest the idea but he was onboard the minute you brought out the bowl,  castiel however was very much wary -  it took a while of pestering on both your part and deans,  but eventually he caved,  allowing you to sit on his lap as dean cuddled against his side .  

   “ THIS IS A WEIRD SENSATION “  castiel mumbled, one hand reaching over to hold dean and the other under your ( his ) shirt and tracing idle patterns into your hip  “ this is mud,  i fail to see where the relaxation comes into it “

   “ IT’S NOT ACTUALLY MUD “  dean grins,  pressing a kiss to his neck,  resisting the urge to nuzzle into the skin as to avoid ruining his own face   “  plus,  you have to actually relax for it to work “

   “ HA,  like you’d know anything about relaxing ! “  smile is splitting face,  for the first time in a while you feel utterly carefree,  you’d missed this  -  missed them  “  i can see the knots in your shoulder from here “  there’s some quick fire retaliation,  both in scoffing and dean ungracefully shoving his hand in the bowl and swiping more of the pack across your face,   at the show castiel couldn’t help but just sit back and watch with a gentle smile on his face,  blue hues bright with utter adoration for the two humans .  he never thought he’d be here,  sure the life they were living was both dangerous and unpredictable,  but for the first time in his life he’s never felt more at ease, felt belonging .    just like a million times before,  he can’t help but inwardly promise himself,   he would do anything to protect his two humans .   anything .  oh,  how dangerous was that   ?  

    “ SHUT UP,  i’m trying to watch the movie ! “      “ you STARTED it,  you cowboy loving - “ 

   CASTIEL SUDDENLY MAKES A PANICKED NOISE,  feeling the layer of crap on his face harden the longer he sits there,  stopping the ever escalating fight of  both of yours and deans   “  the mud is hardening,  this is not relaxing,  is it meant to do this  ?  “  you and dean instantly tried not to laugh at the angel,  dean failing of cause  .  

    “ OKAY,  LETS TRY THIS - “  dean grinned,  waving you off of castiel as he gently forced cas to lay back further,  picking up two slices cucumbers from the plate on the table  “ close your eyes,  feathers “   castiel squints at him at first,  but eventually agrees and body jolting at the cold slices on lids  “  EASY,  just let yourself,  feel it - “   you grin,  instantly picking up on deans idea as you slide into the other side of cas,  hand gently rubbing his shoulder as dean followed suit  - it was an awkward position for the both of you,  but the angel soon managed to melt into into the touches,  a small sigh passing lips   “  are you feeling it ?  “  

    “ I UH ...  I THINK I AM,  the mask is still uncomfortable for me .  but i think i am more feeling the presence of you both,  it has been ...  a long time it feels since we’ve been like this  “  at his words,  you visibly melted,  a love struck face instantly taking over  -  dean couldn’t help the gentle smile,  no edge,  no teasing ...  he thinks... no,  knows cas is right  “  this was a good idea,  y/n.  we should certainly do this more often “ 

    “ WE COULD DO DATE NIGHTS...  again,  maybe once a week  ?  every three if we have to make it more flexible... with everything going on “  your words unsure,  almost shy,  it had dean raising his free hand to gently cup your face,  rubbing your cheek with his thumb  .  

    “ WE CAN DO THAT... i’m sorry i haven’t been around you guys much “  his own heart beats a little faster as you lean into his palm,  kissing it with a smile .  though the mood is broken the minute dean drops his touch,   leaning onto cas’ face and picking up the cucumber slice off of his lids  with his teeth,  looking oh so accomplished .  

    “ HM.  that’s the first time i’ve seen you eat healthy, dean ... is that truly the only way we can get you to stop killing your insides ?   eating greens off of me  ? “     deans face flushes bright, stuttering through a come back,  the snort of laughter you make is the most embarrassing noise you’ve ever made  .  

[kamwashere]

“Who are you?” “I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.”

“And why would an angel rescue me from hell?” “Good things do happen, Dean.” “Not in my experience.” “What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

“My superiors have begun to question my sympathies.” “Your sympathies?” “I was getting too close to humans in my charge. You.”

“For what it’s worth, I will give anything not to have you do this.”

“You made an exception for me.” “You’re different.”

“We’ve been through so much for together, you and I.”

“We’re making it up as we go.”

“I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it—all of it, for you.”

“Don’t ever change.”

“I gave everything to you, and this is what you give to me?”

“So what, I'm Thelma and you're Louise, and we're just gonna hold hands and sail off this cliff together?”

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that...I got laid.”

“You are not the burnt and broken shell of a man I believed you to be.”

“Cas, we’ve talked about this. Personal space?”

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.”

“I wish circumstances were different. Most of the times, I’d rather be here.”

“I’m doing this for you, Dean. I’m doing this because of you.”

“Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest thing I have for family.”

“So if I’m asking you not to do something, you gotta trust me, man.”

“Where were you when I needed to hear it?” “I was there. Where were you?”

“Dammit, Cas! We can fix this.” “Dean, it’s not broken.”

“I thought you said that we were like family. Well, I think that too. Shouldn’t trust run both ways?”

“Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call, and I am your friend.”

“We were a family once. I’d have died for you. Almost did a few times.”

“Don’t make me lose you too.”

“I remember you. I remember everything.”

“Part of me always believed that you’d come back.”

“I'd rather have you. Cursed or not.”

“Yeah well, I'm probably gonna die tomorrow so...” “Well, I'll go with you. And I'll do my best.”

“I prayed to you, Cas! Every night!” “I know.”

“I have a price on my head and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them to... keep them away from you.”

“Let me bottom line it for you: I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?”

“It’s like you just gave up, it’s like you didn’t believe we could do it! I mean, you kept saying that you didn’t think it would work. Did you not trust me?”

“I did everything I could to get you out, everything! I did not leave you.”

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I failed every other Godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it.”

“Nothing you could have done would have saved me because I didn't want to be saved.”

“I’ll watch over you.”

“I won’t hurt Dean.”

“Cas, fight this! This is not you! Fight it!”

“I know you’re in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it’s me. We're family. We need you. I need you.”

“You didn’t trust me.” “Dean, I thought I was doing the right thing.” “Yeah, you always do.”

“And I know that you think that I am pissed at you. But I don't care that the angels fell. So whatever you did, or didn't, do, we'll work it out. Please man, I need you here.”

“You were stupid for the right reasons.” “Yeah, like that matters.” “It does. Sometimes that's all that matters.”

“Dean, you know I always appreciate our talks, our time together.”

“Cas, you just gave up an entire army for one guy.”

“Cas, I need you to promise me something.” “Of course.” “If I do go darkside, you've got to take me out.”

“I'm coming with you.”

“And when you turn—and you will turn—Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love—they could be long dead. Everyone except me.”

“It was our best shot, and you stepped up.” “I was just trying to help.” “Well, and you do help, Cas.”

“But you’re always there, you know? You’re the best friend we’ve ever had.”

“You know this world—this sad, doomed, little world—it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die.”

“You mean too much to me. To everything.”

“You’re not weak, Cas. You know that, right?”

“Thank you. Knowing you; it’s... it’s been the best part of my life. And the things that... the things that we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you.”

“It’s a gift. You keep those.”

“We will find a better way.” “You mean, we?” “Yes, dumbass. We.”

“I just wanted... I needed to come back here with a win for you. For myself.”

“How long was I gone?” “Too damn long!”

“‘I’m your huckleberry.’”

“Dean, I was—I was dead.” “Temporarily.” “And I have to believe that I was brought back for a reason.” “You were. Okay, Jack brought you back because we needed you back.”

“It’s good to have you back. Just don’t get dead again.”

“You’re the engine, but I’m behind the wheel.”

“I could go with you.”

“Dean, if there’s a spark, a hope—then, I have to try. You taught me that.”

“But I swear, if he did something to her, if she’s... then, you’re dead to me.”

“Dean, I failed you.”

“So maybe you can stick your head back in the sand, maybe you can pretend we actually had a choice. I can’t.” “Dean, you asked, what about all of this is real? We are.”

“You used to trust me, gave me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me.My powers are failing, and—and I've tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don't want to hear it. You don't care. I'm dead to you. You still blame me for Mary. Well, I don't think there's anything left to say.” “Where are you going?” “Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

“I already apologized to you, you just refused to hear it.”

“Maybe if you didn’t just up and leave us.”

“I left, but you didn’t stop me.”

“Cas? Cas, I hope you can hear me. That wherever you are, it's not too late. I should've stopped you. You're my best friend, and I just let you go. Cause that was easier than admitting I was wrong. I don't know why I get so angry. I just know—I know that it's—it's just always been there. And when things go bad, it just—it just comes out. And I can't—I can't stop it. No matter how—how bad I want to, I just can't stop it. And—and I, I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I'm sorry it took me so long—I'm sorry it took me 'till now to say it. Cas, I'm so sorry. Man, I hope you can hear me. I hope you can hear me."

“Cas, I need to say something.” “You don’t have to say it. I heard your prayer.”

“I’ve got you.”

“I always wondered, ever since I took that burden—I took that curse, I always wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like and I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want—it’s something I know I can’t have. But I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being, it’s in just saying it. I know— I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the way our enemies see you. You’re destructive, you’re angry and broken. You’re daddy’s blunt instrument. You think that hate and anger; that’s what drives you. That’s who you are. It’s not—and everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done—the good and the bad—you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love—that is who you are. You’re the most caring man on earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.” “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” “Because it is. I love you.” “Don’t do this, Cas.” “Goodbye, Dean.”

[babysludgemonster]

Dean’s Perspective

so I just needed to write this and get the emotions out. it’s THAT SCENE extended a little bit so i could have some closure. i also posted it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27458362  i’m exhausted now okay bye

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“I can’t stop it,” Dean said.

 Death—Billie banged on the door, her fist rattling the wood on its hinges. Once. Twice. Dean stepped closer to Cas, closer to the door, closer to their doom, dismay clawing at his insides as he finally understood that they had lost. This was it.

 “She’s gonna get through that door,” he said.

 “I know,” Cas rasped.

 “And she’s gonna kill you, and then she’s gonna kill me.”

 Cas glanced helplessly at Dean. A resigned acceptance seemed to settle over him.

 Dean shook his head. He’d failed his best friend, his brother, Jack. This was all his fault. “I’m sorry.”

 Cas’s brow creased. “Wait, there is— There’s one thing she’s afraid of, there’s-there’s one thing strong enough to stop her.”

 Dean lifted his gaze, uncertain hope flickering in his chest because Cas was always there, always fighting. Even when he was knocked down, dragged out, he always came back. Who else but Cas could figure a way out of this? Then Dean swallowed hard, his throat clicking, because something in Cas’s expression seized his heart in a cold grip.

 “When Jack was dying—” Cas began. “When Jack was dying, I-I made a deal. To save him.”

 A frown worked its way onto Dean’s features. “You what?”

 “The p—The price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned, and it would take me forever.”

 Dread grasped Dean’s chest, choking him. “Why are you telling me this now?”

 Death knocked.

 Cas shuffled his feet, gathered his words. “I always wondered—ever since I took that burden, that curse—I wondered what it could be, what-what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want,” Cas shook his head, “it’s something I know I can’t have.”

 What did he mean? What true happiness could he not have?

 Tears welled in Cas’s eyes as he continued, “But I think I know—I think I know now. Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.”

 Dean’s heart pounded in his chest. “What are you talking about, man?”

 Cas stepped closer, his gaze never leaving Dean’s. “I know—I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken, you’re Daddy’s blunt instrument, and you think that hate and anger, that’s-that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. It’s not.” Dean’s throat ached. Why was he saying this? “And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love.” No. “You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are.”

 Death knocked

 “You’re the most caring man on earth.” Stop. “You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.” You’re wrong. “You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell, knowing you has changed me.” A tear broke free, rolling down Cas’s cheek. “Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you.” I’m broken. “I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you.”

 Death knocked.

 A sob escaped Cas’s lips. “You changed me, Dean.”

 “Why does this sound like a goodbye?”

 Death knocked.

 “Because it is.” Cas took a deep breath. “I love you.”

 I don’t deserve it.

 Shaking his head, Dean whispered, “Don’t do this, Cas.”

 Behind Dean, a soft screeching sounded, like nails on a chalkboard. Dean turned, vision blurring with tears, to see the writhing black mass of the Empty bubbling into existence. This wasn’t happening. He turned back to Cas. The door flung open to reveal Billie, determined with her scythe in-hand.

 Wait.

 “Cas—”

 Cas touched Dean’s shoulder.

 Not yet.

 “Goodbye, Dean.”

 “Wha—”

 Cas threw Dean into the wall, out of the way. Dean’s head spun. Billie stalked forward. Cas smiled. With a deep breath, he faced the Empty, his face serene, at peace. The Empty reached out, engulfing Cas, swallowing Billie. The last Dean saw of Cas was that gentle smile, warm and happy and sad.

 He was gone.

 Dean sat against the wall. He cried. Not heaving sobs at first. Tears just leaking freely from his eyes, his body reacting before his emotions even got a chance. He stared blankly, for how long, he didn’t know. Then his phone vibrated, Sam’s name on the screen. That broke the spell. The shock, the adrenaline dissipated. Dean dropped his phone to the floor and curled into himself, buried his face in his hands. Cas was gone. Cas loved him, and he was gone, and Dean had done nothing to stop it.

 “Please.” The prayer was barely audible, whispered into his palms. “Please. Cas. Please hear me. I’m so-I’m so sorry. Come back. Come-come b-back, Cas. Just come back.”

   Sam and Jack found Dean on the floor like that, sobbing into his hands. He couldn’t speak. When they asked where Cas was, he shook his head.

 They led him to the kitchen. He slumped at the table, staring numbly at nothing. The scent of beer stirred his senses as Sam handed him a bottle.

 “Tea or even coffee would probably be better, but…” said Sam, sitting across from him, hands folded on the table.

 Dean glanced around the kitchen. “Where’s Jack?”

 “He, uh, he needed a minute.”

 Dean nodded. A long silence stretched as Dean clutched the bottle. Finally, he croaked, “He’s gone. The Empty took him.”

 Sam nodded, his expression tight. “Everybody. Chuck took everybody. Not just the resurrected and the ones from other worlds. Everybody. It’s just us now.”

 Dean stood, striding away as if physical distance from the words lingering in the air would make them hurt any less. He bowed his head, squeezing the bottle until he thought it might shatter. Then he sank onto the steps at the kitchen doorway because his legs couldn’t hold him any longer. Sam joined him.

 “He told me something, Sammy,” Dean began, head resting against the wall, “before—before he died. I don’t know— And now he’s gone, and I can’t— What am I supposed to do? I let him down, Sammy. I just couldn’t—”

 Sam cleared his throat. “We keep going. That’s what we do. It’s what-it’s what Cas would do. It’s what Eileen would do. Charlie, Bobby, Donna. We keep fighting until we can’t.”

 Dean sniffled, swiping the flood of tears from his face. “I don’t know if I got it in me anymore, man. I don’t know if we can win. I don’t know if I even care anymore.”

 “We don’t have to win. We just have to fight.”

 Dean gritted his teeth, sighing because everything was overflowing, and he had no way to get it out. “Why does it feel different this time? Why does it feel so final?”

 “I don’t know.”

 “He made a deal with the Empty. When he saved Jack, that was how he did it. The deal was when he experienced a moment of true happiness, that would summon the Empty and it would take him.”

 Sam frowned. “Moment of true happiness?”

 It hurt to swallow. “Yeah. He said-he said he knew he couldn’t have what would make him happy.”

 “So-so what happened?”

 “I don’t-I don’t know. I don’t know.” Liar. “He said all this crap about me and then he said he loved me and then it took him.” Traitor.

 Sam watched him silently. Did he know? Was he waiting for Dean to admit it? But he still didn’t understand. There was so much unsaid and unfelt, not given the chance to be said or felt. But Cas deserved better. He deserved better than God treated him, better than Dean treated him.

 He deserved better than Dean.

 “Me,” Dean choked. “I think it was me, Sammy. I— Fuck, he loved me. I think he-he wanted to be with me.” Dean pressed his head into the wall until it hurt, squeezing his eyes shut.

 Sam was silent for another long stretch until, “Yeah.”

 Dean opened his eyes. Sam was frowning at his beer bottle in his hands. “You knew?” Dean asked.

 Sam shrugged. “I’m not surprised.”

 Dean heaved a sigh, staring at the ceiling. “We fucked up, Sam.”

 Sam nodded slowly. “Now we gotta fix it.”

[deans-mind-palace]

Forget me not  (Pt. 2)

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Summary: Cas was your guardian angel and best friend. He protected you from everything that tried to harm you as child. But a terrible accident caused you to get separated from him. Years later, you’re still determined to find your guardian angel again. What happens when you meet him under unexpected circumstances?

Word Count: 1,558

Warnings: None. Just some hunting and growing up.

Author’s Note: Second part, guys! Like always, likes are silver, feedback is gold! Like, comment and share. Enjoy and show it some love! Next part is with Cas, so stay tuned, guys!

Part 1 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

A long time ago God created a flower. But one day he forgot its name and it was very sad that God had forgotten it. So God renamed the flower Forget-me-not as a promise to never forget it again.

After that one night, your life changed drastically. Your parents died, but at least their memory was honored, but the most important person in your life disappeared as if he had never existed. You never doubted that Cas really existed.

Of course you knew the stories of children and their imaginary friends, but Cas was too vivid, too real to be dismissed as a mere fantasy. Besides, even when you were ten years old, he still had tea with you. His loss was a profound mark on your life. From one moment to the next, you were without parents and Castiel. Alone in this damned world wondering what you did to deserve this fate.

Soon you had to move in with your aunt, but she was a lady of advanced age who liked to sit in her chair by the window and knit when she wasn't watering her ranunculus in the garden. For four years you put up with her more bad than good. But you couldn't lead a normal life. Not with the knowledge of what was lurking in the shadows out there. In deserted alleys, in dark corners that the light of the streetlamp could not reach, in the blackness of the night. Whatever killed your parents and thus took Castiel from you and destroyed your life was still out there waiting for another opportunity to strike. And you would not rest until you avenged your loss.

At fifteen, you couldn't stand the semblance of a perfect and unblemished world anymore. In the middle of the night you packed your bags and stepped through your aunt's door for the last time, never wanting to return. You were young and had nowhere to go, but the last few years had raised you to be a lonely fighter. You knew how to survive on the tough streets. Away from the well-kept front gardens and shiny cars, life was dangerous and the line between good and evil did not exist. Everyone was looking out for their own advantage and if necessary, they would kill each other for it. You were no different.

All those years you fought for yourself, your thoughts were with Castiel. You wanted to find him again even if you had to walk the earth. At night in your dreams, you'd see the angel's blue eyes, and each time, you'd watch them turn into a deep obsidian of that horrible creature. In search of the creature that had taken everything from you, you soon came across your first hunters. You felt at home in their community. They were all humans who were haunted in one way or another, but they were exactly the sort of people you hoped to find.

Hunters were reserved and distrustful people, so you soon adopted these character traits. The little girl who had been lying happily in the grass with her angel, watching clouds, had long since disappeared. It took some time, but then you met a hunter who was willing to take you under his wing.

Ash was only a few years older than you and had suffered a similar fate. He taught you a lot about hunting and soon you were an invincible team that made a reputation among other hunters as well. You were known as fearless, but why be afraid when you had nothing more to lose? Ash was a good friend, maybe even more than that, but you had never really defined the relationship between you two. Yet you never told him the reason why you became a huntress. Nor did he ask again after you once threatened him with a knife. Castiel was your well-kept secret. Ash and you went through thick and thin, but eventually the secrets between you became too much.The pauses between your words too long. More and more often, each of you did their own thing and disappeared. Only one day Ash never returned. He died as he lived. With nothing to lose.

After his death you were alone again, but you carried on Ash's legacy. In his name you killed seven demons in one night. You traveled the land always seeking for clues to Castiel's whereabouts. On your journey you met many people with strange abilities, but no one was able to help you. Further years rolled into the land and you were twenty-nine years old when it happened.

There had been problems for some time in Ohio with an old slaughterhouse in a run-down factory district with cracked asphalt and broken windows. Again and again on new moon nights, groups of young people ventured into the old slaughterhouse. Only rarely did they come out alive again. Your research was thorough and you soon knew that you were dealing with the echo of a deceased butcher. He had loved to hang his victims like pieces of meat on his hooks. But one day his own hatchet became his doom. Which didn't stop him from killing even after his own death.

You were perfectly prepared. Your shotgun was loaded, the salt was hanging in a bag on your jeans and the lighter was in your jacket pocket with a flask full of spirit. You were perfectly prepared, which was more than you could say for the mysterious hunter. You were just creeping around another corner when you heard a clang and a heavy cursing. A few shots were fired, then only the empty barrel of the gun clicked. A crash broke the short silence.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! That motherfucker!" You heard a male voice yelling. You turned off your flashlight and drew your pistol, the shotgun dangling from your belt. You pressed yourself against the wall and crept silently closer, step by step, until you could see around the corner. For a moment you saw nothing but all-consuming blackness welcoming you. It took time for your eyes to get used to the darkness, then you could make out the outline of a man. The light from the distant street lamps fell in jagged pools through the broken windows to the ground.

Suddenly there was another crash and the man was hurled out of the shadow by an invisible force into the pale light of the street lamps.The pieces of broken glas crunched under his shoes as he hit the ground and his heavy body slid across the floor. He groaned and rubbed his hand over the dirty encrusted blond hair at the back of his head. His rifle had been hurled across the floor out of reach to your feet. It clattered further back, then a clattering sounded and the stranger jumped back to his feet as he looked around for his gun.

You stood in the darkness, but when his green eyes met yours for a brief moment, you thought he would see you, so intense was his piercing look.

He did not see the ghost behind him with the raised axe coming. At the last second you jumped out of your hiding place and shot over the stranger's shoulder past him, right between the ghost's eyes. He vanished immediately and you had a few minutes to catch your breath.Wordlessly you kicked his shotgun to him.

"Thank you." He said out of breath and wiped the sweat that shone in the light from his forehead. "No big deal. Let's take this guy down," You said and tossed a box of bullets at him. He caught it deftly and loaded his gun. "Let's make sure this son of a bitch gets what he deserves," He growled. You followed him and it wasn't long before you had the ghost neutralized.

"Well, salt 'n' burn it, baby," said the stranger. He smirked at you with a twinkle in his green eyes and winked at you slyly.

He was exactly your type of man. Three or four years older than you and handsome. The blonde hair shone in the light and the green eyes immediately captivated you. They reminded you of the summer grasslands where you had spent the balmy summer evenings of your childhood with Cas. He was muscular and knew how to handle a gun. He was also confident and had a wry grin on his lips. He resembled a riddle you couldn't escape, but you couldn't find the solution either. He had an open and honest face, yet there were these shadows in his eyes that you knew from many hunters. It was his dark past that was reflected in the deep green. He masked these shadows well and his grin fooled away the pain. You knew this because you saw it every time you looked in a mirror.

"How about a beer?" The elder asked you. "My motel's not far from here." You had just saved that guy's life, so why not? "Sure." You responded, throwing him a tentative smile. It felt weird and pulled in the muscles of your cheeks. The pulling reminded you painfully of how long it had been since you had smiled. He smiled at you, looking at you like a hunter looking at his prey while his eyes sparkled. "I'm Dean, by the way. Dean Winchester."

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[shirtlesssammy]

5x02: Good God, Y'All

Then:

The long reign of Lucifer has begun

Now:

Bobby’s in the hospital --and in a wheelchair. Sam and Dean hover outside his door, and Dean shows Sam x-rays of the Enochian warding they have carved on their ribs.

(I briefly wondered if the carvings would show up on an x-ray, and then thought they’re Enochian symbols placed there by an angel, and stopped sweating the details.) 

Sam gets a call from Cas, who apparently is wondering where they are. Lol, poor boy can’t see Sam and Dean now that he’s warded them from angels. It’s okay, Cas. Dean’s yearning for you becomes so strong over the years, you’ll always know how to find him. Anyway, they start to bicker before Bobby puts the kibosh on it, demanding that Cas heal him. 

Cas is cut off from Heaven. He can’t heal Bobby. Convenient plot development, but really sad. He then turns to Sam and Dean (because he’s more angel than human still, and very much on a mission) and tells Dean that there’s someone who can beat Lucifer other than Michael: God. 

For Sweet Summer Child Science:

Classic Dialog Alert:

Dean: Try New Mexico. I hear he's on a tortilla.

Cas :No, he's not on any flatbread.

More Classic Dialog Alert:

Cas: I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you.

Every time I watch this scene, I need a moment.

Bobby tries to break the tension by asking what Cas wants. Cas continues to stare at Dean from two inches away but eventually breaks the eye contact and tells Bobby he’s looking for an amulet. “It burns hot in God’s presence.” (Only if he didn’t turn it off!) It’s the Samulet that he wants, and he’s going to stare at Dean and talk in a gravelly voice until he gives it up. 

Dean gets naked in front of Cas. 

Cas flaps out on his hunt for God. 

Rufus, who appears to be on a hunt gone bad, calls Bobby. He’s in River Pass, Colorado and the town’s full of demons. Sam and Dean head out to investigate. 

They get to the town’s bridge-- and it’s blown to bits. No cell signal either. They walk the rest of the way and enter a seemingly empty town, abandoned cars notwithstanding. 

They’re eventually greeted by Ellen --and a facefull of holy water and a gun. 

She takes them to the basement of a church, where there’s a group of people gathered. She tells them that Rufus was in town, so her and Jo came. They couldn’t find Rufus and her and Jo got separated. Sam looks at the people in the room and says they need to get them out of here. Ellen says they’ve tried --but people keep getting killed off. 

Sam and Dean head out to get more guns and find Jo and Rufus. Once alone, Dean hesitates having Sam go with him, but Sam insists. They split up once outside to gather what they need. 

While Sam is in the store stocking up on salt, two demons wander in. A fight ensues. Sam guts both of them (AND OOF. They’re not demons.) Sam realizes it almost right away. Dean walks in then and sees what went down. 

Judgement clouds his face. 

Back at the church, Gun 101 begins. Sam reflects on killing the people and how he wishes they could go back to saving people. Ellen interrupts and tells them she’s heading back out to find Jo. Sam wants to go as well. Dean doesn’t trust his brother around demons but Sam wins that fight and heads out with Ellen. 

Sam and Ellen start walking, and discuss the rift between Sam and Dean. Then Sam notices smoke from a chimney. 

Sam and Ellen lurk around the newly discovered stronghold. Sam’s suspicious - demons don’t get cold so why do they have a fire lit in the fireplace? Suddenly they’re attacked...by Jo! She calls her mother an “evil skank” which is certainly a LOT to unpack. Ellen watches black eyes flash in the eyes of her daughter. Meanwhile, Jo demands that the “black eyed bitch” possessing her mom vacate the premises. HMMMMM. Ellen escapes while poor Head Trauma Sam gets knocked out by Rufus and captured. 

Sam wakes up to Jo and Rufus preparing to interrogate the heck out of him. Their exorcism...does not go well.

Ellen returns to the compound without Sam. She lays out the recap for Dean, and focuses on Jo’s accusation that Ellen is a demon. They try to figure out why Rufus pegged this town for a hunt.

Rufus was drawn to town by the sudden pollution of the river. No, it wasn’t a tour bus dumping human waste into a river! It was something far more insidious. A bright shooting star shot through the sky the same night the river turned foul. Dean heads for the bible and finds the proper passage in Revelations: the star was Wormwood, and it’ll bring ruin. The priest is appalled. Is Dean FOR REAL talking about the apocalypse???? War rides a red horse, and “red horse” reminds Dean of the cherry red mustang parked downtown. Folks, we’ve met our first Horseman of the Apocalypse! (This is so Good Omens it hurts...but I guess there’s only so much to be done with the biblical source material.)

Dean puts it all together: War is pitting them against each other, making all the humans in the town think the other group are demons. 

War confronts Sam. 

War’s wearing the visage of a local, so he can watch the show up close. He confirms that there are no demons. He’s just having a little fun. 

War gets into Sam’s head and tells him that he knows Sam is jonesing for a blood fix. Urgh. Before he leaves, War spins his ring around and blood begins to trickle down his forehead. While Sam’s still looking on gormlessly, War hurls himself to the ground like he just got attacked. When Jo and Rufus burst in, War tells them the others are coming for them and Sam gets knocked across the skull AGAIN. 

Dean isn’t faring much better. The other people are more interested in fighting than accepting what Dean’s trying to sell: that the demons aren’t real and War is just some dude bopping around town. 

Roger, aka War, bursts in. He tells them the other contingent is ready to attack. It’s time to fight! When Dean tries to contradict War, he spins his ring. Suddenly, all the other people in the room are angling to kill Dean and Ellen, who they now see as demon spawn.

Dean and Ellen scamper the hell out of there, while War smiles after them. 

Everybody in the compound loads up on live ammo, while across town Rufus sets up pipe bombs along the perimeter. Jo has second thoughts about blowing her mother into pieces, but Rufus is resolute.

As our two murder teams converge, one of the bombs at the window blows. It’s Dean and Ellen breaking in! They try to talk down Jo and Rufus. Dean tells Rufus that War is responsible and slowly, Rufus watches the black drain away from Dean’s eyes. 

Just as the four of them enjoy a happy reunion, the other townspeople arrive. Dean frees Sam, and they confer on the nature of War. Most significantly, they agree that the ring appears to be War’s ticket to power. 

People on both sides begin to shoot at each other. Fortunately, they’re all terrible shots and miss each other. Until the priest goes down, that is. Rufus grouchily personally disarms the people of the house after they fail to follow orders to lay down weapons - and honestly is it too much to ask that Rufus have some OBEDIENT soldiers under his command??? 

Dean and Sam corner War at his car. 

They pin War down and slice the fingers off his hand - including the one with the ring. Suddenly, everyone stops fighting and hallucinating demons and there are many RAGRETS. War disappears, but his ring remains. 

Dean suggests tossing the ring into Mount Doom and I high five him.

Sam’s not into the levity. He knows Dean doesn’t trust him and this hunt made him realize that he doesn’t trust himself either. Sam decides to leave hunting. Dean offers Sam THE IMPALA because he will literally give anything and everything for Sam, oh my god. Sam practices safe choices, and hitches a ride with a stranger, instead.

The One Quote to Rule Them All:

Went to radiology. Got some glamour shots

Enough foreplay

I killed two angels this week - my brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world and I lost everything. For nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself.

Great. Now I feel naked

This isn't X-Files, pal

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[lovedsammy]

show me hope again; jack hurt/comfort [commission for wickedwithwings]

This was a commission for @wickedwithwings. The request was for a jack hurt/comfort with Sam & Jack and/or Sam, Jack & Cas, so I tried to do all of those. The premise was Jack gets sent back to Earth from the Empty, Chuck senses it and captures Jack, convincing him that no one wants Jack back and he isn’t loved anymore. Sam and Cas find him, and convince him otherwise.

If we’re going off somewhat canon events, this could take place after 15.08, lol. 

--------

Jack remembers dying.

He remembers being blinded -- literally and figuratively -- by pain, screaming so loudly that even in death, he could feel the rawness of his throat. And then there’d been nothing, almost like he’d fallen into an endless, dreamless sleep. Every single concept of existence ceased to be. The process of death was simple. Like a candle, the flame of life burned for only a short period. And then it was snuffed out, sometimes before the wick even burned dry. Death had no regard for time or how long someone’s flame should burn. It just took. Awareness comes back to him almost instantly, or what he thinks is instantly. He opens his eyes anew, his vision intact once more, and he finds that he’s engulfed in blackness, in pure nothing. He’s in the Empty, he realizes with a start. This was the place where creatures like him, with no humanity or a soul, went when they died. This was where Castiel had been, before Jack had awoken him. 

He glimpses a figure emerging from the shadows, and the boy sits up, squinting. He somehow recognizes it, the entity; it’s the host for the Empty. Jack feels his body, or what he perceives as his body, tensing up, and suddenly wishes he’d never awoken at all. He stares up at the faceless being with trepidation, waiting, for what he knows will be unimaginable torture. He’d defied it, and so had Cas, back in Heaven. There was no way it was going to let him remain awake without some kind of revenge. But The Empty just stands before him, using a finger to draw a smile on its nonexistent features. It calms Jack, although he knows it shouldn’t. 

But maybe… maybe there was a chance that it meant him no harm. Cas’s deal -- was it considered null now, with his death? Cas, who had offered himself up for Jack instead, for Jack’s life to be spared, only for it to be taken by God. What did that amount to now?

“What’s happening?” Jack asks, not really expecting an answer, but to his surprise, he gets one. 

“Yeah, about that,” A cool voice sounds from behind him, and he turns confused eyes onto a woman, dressed all in black with a large scythe in her hand. Billie. Death herself. He knew of her from Sam and Dean, knew that she had power in the Empty, which was probably how he was awake now. But why? Why was he awake? “We should talk,” Billie says, and Jack can only stare at her numbly. 

“Talk about… about what?”

Billie regards him carefully. “Fortunately for you, your story is not over yet, young Nephilim. God may have prematurely sent you here, but I have the power to send you back.” She approaches, and kneels down in front of him. Jack’s apprehension fades when she smiles at him. It’s not exactly a friendly smile, but it’s warm enough that it lowers all of his barriers. He has nothing to fear from her. “I have a job for you. A job that only you can do. How would you like to save the world that your Grandfather has so desperately doomed?”

At Jack’s perplexed expression, she raises two fingers and presses them against the boy’s forehead. And Jack sees. He sees himself, writhing on the ground with light streaming from his eyes as they’re burned out of his skull. He sees Cas trying and failing to heal the damage. He sees Sam, gun in hand, yelling at Chuck. He sees Sam pulls the trigger, the bullet becoming a double-edged sword that lodges into both Sam and Chuck’s shoulders, creating mirroring wounds. He sees the scope of Chuck’s anger, feels his wrath, and watches as their almighty creator ushers in what he calls, ‘the end.’ He sees the released souls from Hell inhabit the bodies of the dead, watches his fathers as they try to fight them off. He watches the planet die, little by little. He sees the end of everything.

Billie pulls back at Jack’s fearful shout, watching the boy expectantly. Once he gets a hold of himself, Jack looks at her, really looks at her. She looks sad, he thinks. She doesn’t like what God has done. It went against Death’s very rule. What was happening now… wasn’t how things were supposed to be.  

And Jack knows, suddenly, what he has to do. He nods. 

“I want to save it. I want to save them.”

Sam, Cas, and even Dean… they were everything to him. He couldn’t bear to see them suffer. 

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Billie says. Jack thinks he sees fondness in her expression. “Good luck. Tell the Winchesters I’ll be seeing them soon.”

It feels like a warning, as much as it is a message. Before Jack can ask her what she means, fingers meet his forehead again, and everything goes black.

-

Jack breathes his first third gasp of life -- how many times would he experience that? Dying, just to be born again? -- and his eyes snap open again. It’s a cloudless day, is the first thing he notices. He’s staring up at a blue sky. Then his other senses kick in. His nostrils fill with the strong scent of earth., and he inhales it in, the smell making his nose itch, but not minding it. Allergies be damned. He lets himself absorb the feeling of the grass beneath him, damp from the morning mildew. He listens to the sounds, the rustling of the leaves and the rush of water from the river. He enjoys the gentle breeze wind swiping his hair. The sun is warm on his face. He loves this world, this amazing world that he never was supposed to be a part of in the first place, but had been born into. He loves humanity, with and without its flaws. He loves Sam, and Dean, and Castiel. 

His family. 

His family, that had included Mary, too. 

His heart gives a painful clench when he thinks of her, and it feels different than the last time he was alive, when he’d had no soul. Had Billie somehow restored it? Or had he managed to live with it, as Cas had told him he would, and learned to love even without it? He didn’t know. It didn’t matter now, not really. The state of his soul was the least of his concerns.  

Jack carefully rises to his feet, assessing himself. He’s wearing the same clothes that he’d died in. One of the laces of his shoes is untied. His jacket and jeans have grass stains. He reaches up to touch his face and feels unblemished skin. Satisfied, he looks at his surroundings. He’s in the middle of a field in an area that he doesn’t recognize. He hopes he’s somewhere in Lebanon. Billie wouldn’t have sent him back too far from home, would she? Jack reaches down to tie his shoes, and sets off. The first order of business was to find out where he’d ended up. And then he’d go find his family. 

If they even want you back after what you did, his mind reminds him, and he swallows down that anxiety. Dean hadn’t gone through with killing him. Sam and tried to stop him, and had even shot God to try and save him. And Cas…. Cas had loved him unconditionally, no matter what. Of course they’d want him back. 

“Yeah, I don’t know about that,” A voice remarks, and it’s one that he’s regrettably burned into his memory. Jack jumps, turning wild-eyed and afraid to find Chuck -- God -- leaning against a tree, hands in his pockets as he watches the Nephilim with a smirk. Was this some sick joke? Had he come back just to die again? “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you. Again. Not yet,” Chuck says, slowly approaching the boy. Despite himself, Jack backs up. “You’re too weak to fight me right now, and I could always use you as some incentive against the Winchesters and Castiel. You could be helpful to me. Well, your powers, anyway.” 

“I’ll never help you,” Jack snarls. He tries to reach inward, to try and sense his powers. They’re there, but it’s as Chuck said -- they’re drained. It would take time to power back up. Right now, he’s practically as useless as he was when he was human. Jack bites his lip, unsure of what to do. He could fight in the way that Bobby trained him to, all raised fists and well-aimed kicks. But his puny human body wouldn’t stand a chance against God himself. Still, he has to do something. As Chuck continues toward him, he wrestles with his fight or flight response. Flight wins out, and he makes a beeline for the trees.

Chuck sighs, loud and exasperated. “Jack. Really? Come on. I created everything. There’s nowhere that you can go that I’ll never be able to find you. All you’re doing is prolonging things. You’re just going to wear yourself out.”

Jack ignores him, running as fast as he can towards the highway. Maybe he could hitchhike. Sam always said that was dangerous, but if it got him home, to them, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He needed to get away from Chuck. Chuck, who he can still hear as loud as if he were directly next to him, despite the distance that there should be between them. 

“I mean, are Sam and Dean going to even want to see you? You killed their Mom.” 

He knows that Chuck is just goading him, trying to break him down. And Jack, unfortunately, rises to the bait. “You made me!” He snaps. “The voice, the sound I heard that day, when Mary was talking to me! That was you!” 

“Yeah, but it was your hands that killed her, Jack. Your powers. It was still you, too, even if I was guiding your hand. Not that it matters anymore, though. What happened to Mary Winchester is over. Her sons and their angel are the only ones who matter now. Well, and you. Especially you.” 

Jack’s lungs wheeze from how fast he’s running, but he can’t slow down. He’s close, so very close to the highway, thinks he can even see it now, and recognizes it as he edges closer. He’s been on this highway countless times before, had driven down it with Dean. He was only about ten minutes from the Bunker.

If only he could -- 

There’s a stab of pain as he trips over something, and Jack shouts as he tries to catch himself, falling on his hands. He groans, and forces himself to sit up. There’s a hole in his jeans at the bottom of the pants leg, and a steady flow of blood from where the jagged piece of rock had cut into him. It doesn’t look that deep, but it would slow him down.  

Jack whimpers as he tries to get up and fails, vision swimming, feeling every bit like the helpless kid he is. “Cas,” He calls out. He doesn’t know if his angel father can hear him. “Castiel…. Sam, please.”

He can’t move. All he can do is lie there and hope and pray that someone, somewhere, can help him. That Cas can hear him, that Sam will --

“Ohhh… kid, that looks like it hurts.” 

Jack raises his head to see Chuck leaning over him. “Hello again, Grandson. It’s about time we actually spent some quality time together, don’t you think?” 

-

The days are long and miserable. 

Honestly, Jack begins to consider that being dead may be less of a torture than this. Chuck doesn’t even have to hurt him physically. It’s the mental pain that God inflicts the most, and enjoys. He makes Jack remember Mary’s death, over and over. The countless other people that Jack’s hurt or killed since he was born. He makes Jack remember his mom. 

Chuck shows him things, too. 

Sam and Dean, locking him in the Malach box. Dean, with his gun trained on him, ready to execute him. Both of them, calling Jack a monster. Castiel, agreeing, turning away when Jack begs him for help while the brothers torture him. 

Jack knows it’s not real. God is like Michael in how he tortures him. It hadn’t been real, then, either. But this time, God has Jack’s insecurities and regrets to use against him, his doubts and fears. And he uses them. He breaks Jack over and over until the boy cries and begs to die. And then, eventually, Jack stops crying. He becomes numb, feeling almost hollow. Not soulless -- he’s quite certain that he’s not soulless anymore, if he’d honestly ever been -- but hollow in the way that only pure torture can make you. 

Jack had seen it in Sam, when Sam was around Lucifer. He’s only now really understanding the depths of the fear Sam had toward his father, and why. Jack wishes he could tell Sam he understands, and that he’s sorry.

In the beginning, when Jack’s resolve was still stronger, he’d fought against Chuck’s mind games as much as he could. Chuck would play a game where he’d ask Jack where he’d go if he ever got free. Jack would tell him. And when Chuck would say that Jack didn’t belong somewhere, Jack had another answer lined up. 

And on and on it went, until there were no answers left. 

“Sam and Dean won’t want you, Jack. You killed their Mom.” 

“Cas --”

“If Cas cared, he’d be here. He can hear you pray, remember? He just isn’t listening.” 

“Heaven.” 

“You think anyone would let you upstairs? Come on, kid. Yeah, you made new angels, but I’m back. You think for a second they’d take you over me if I told them not to?” 

“Hell, then.” 

“The demons? They want Lucifer, they wouldn’t want you. Even if you’re his son, they know your affiliation with the Winchesters. Why would they want the boy who rejected his father and chose humans? Face it, there’s no one out there waiting for you, Jack. I’m all you’ve got.”

After a while, he’d started to believe it.

“Why don’t you just kill me?” He asks Chuck one day when the man comes down to visit him in his cage from whatever establishment he has upstairs. A bar or something, Jack recalls Chuck telling him once. Even God needed breaks.

Chuck just laughs around his glass of tequila. “Where’s the fun in that? Billie would just keep sending you back, and then we’d have to start all over. At least this way I know you’re not going anywhere. You’re contained, and no one’s the wiser.”

But it makes Jack realize the true reason why he’s doing this. Chuck is afraid of him. He’s afraid of Jack’s powers. And Jack could tell that Chuck was getting weaker by the day, while he was growing stronger. Contained, but stronger. His power was on par with that of God. The thought makes him nauseous instead of confident. Because if God could do what he’d done to the world, then what damage could Jack do?

I wouldn’t, he tells himself. I wouldn’t do what he’s done.

He’s unsure if he believes it.

He falls asleep at night dreaming of Sam, of his kind smile and gentle hands. 

He prays to Castiel every day.

And every day, he thinks he breaks a little more. Because Chuck was right. If Castiel or Sam or even Dean… if any of them truly cared, they would’ve been here by now. Cas would have answered his prayers. Which meant that he didn’t want to hear him. And Sam…. Sam would never come find him, not after what he’d done, not after he’d taken Sam’s mother from him. Sam, who never got to really know his mom, who had lost her as a baby like he’d had his. 

Sam had more reason to hate him than anyone. 

Jack curls in on himself, and falls into a restless slumber.

Even if he got out, Chuck was right. There was no one and nothing to go back to. 

He wasn’t wanted anywhere. 

-

With his powers failing, it takes Castiel a little while to pinpoint the source of the cry being directed to him for well over a month. And when he does, it hits him like a freight train. He and Sam are researching in the Bunker when Cas feels it again, stronger than before. It’s like knives in his head, the intensity of the misery, and Cas gives a pained shout, grimacing. 

“Cas?” Sam asks worriedly, the books forgotten. “You all right? What’s wrong?”

“It’s Jack,” Cas answers after a beat. “Sam… Jack’s alive.” 

The hope that enters Sam’s eyes is something that Castiel never wants to see taken from him again. It’d happened far too much already. 

“What?” Sam asks, breathless. “Are you sure? Cas…” 

“He’s calling for help,” Cas confirms, getting to his feet. He’s able to hone in on Jack’s presence now, can feel his state of being. “He’s been crying out for me, for us. He’s showing me… Chuck. Chuck has him. There’s enochian sigils and other forms of warding on the cage he’s in, I… he needs help.” 

Sam leaps to his feet without hesitation. He hasn’t looked this alive in months. “Then let’s go get him, Cas. Let’s get him and bring him home.” 

--

Jack is awoken, at some point, by a commotion upstairs. He opens an eye, squinting, focusing. Chuck usually had his fair share of parties and things happening -- it was a bar, after all. He listens for the familiar shriek of girls, the game machines blaring, the loud music… but none of it ever comes. It’s silent except for loud thudding, and hushed voices. This isn’t Chuck. Something’s different.  

“Hello?” He calls out, heart pounding in his throat. “Is someone there?” He moves around a little, managing what he can in his little cage. It clunks every time he remanuvers.

He waits. 

More talking. 

“Hello?” He repeats, trying to make his voice louder. 

He tries to see up the stairs to where the light from the room is coming from behind the door, but from the angle he’s at, he can’t see who it is. He’s still too far away. Luckily, whoever it was up there seemed to know there was someone downstairs, and open the door, hurriedly descending the staircase, flashlight in hand. Cops, then. 

Jack doesn’t understand why they’re here, of all places. From what he knew, there wasn’t any illegal activity taking place. Chuck would want to keep the establishment under the authorities’ radar, lest the Winchesters discovered it. Jack had honestly thought there was no chance of rescue, that no one at all would be coming for him. Maybe they still weren’t, but the possibility of freedom has Jack reworking things. He would take anything. 

He didn’t know where he would go, or who could possibly ever want him. But he’d give anything to be out of this cage, and out of Chuck’s grasp. Anything for the days of torture to be over. 

“Hello?” A voice calls. “Is someone down here?” 

Jack knows that voice. He knows it, because it’s the first voice he’d ever heard. 

“Sam?” He croaks, mouth dry. Was he just imagining things? Was this just another of Chuck’s mind games, making him see what he so desperately craved? But then Sam is standing in front of him. Even with the limited light, he can see how pale Sam is, see the absolute shock on his face. 

“Jack?” Sam gasps. “Jack, you’re alive, you’re…. Oh my God. Cas! Cas, get down here! I’ve got him!” 

Sam pushes himself down to his knees, and reaches out to the boy immediately, still locked in the cage. He engulfs Jack’s small hand with his much larger one. The sensation of the touch takes Jack aback, and he shakes his head. Was this really happening?

 “I don’t believe it,” Sam says wetly. “You’re really here… I need to get you…” Sam looks around for something he can use to pry the cage open. He settles for a crowbar, prying and shoving at the lock. It comes undone after a long moment, and Sam wrenches the door open, pulling Jack out and into his arms. He cradles the boy close to him, his large frame trembling.

He is soft and warm in the way that Jack remembers, and not even his dreams had been able to replicate the safe feeling he associated with the man.  

“Sam,” Jack realizes. This isn’t a trick, isn’t some form of distorted reality that Chuck had cooked up. This was real. Choking, tears running down his face, Jack clings to Sam with everything he has. He lets himself relax for the first time in weeks against Sam’s body. Sam was here. Sam was really here, and he was free, and…

“Sam --” 

Cas.

Jack and Sam pull apart at his arrival, and Jack raises his head to meet Castiel’s eyes. “Cas,” He sniffles.

“Jack…” 

The angel looks thunderstruck, like he’s seconds away from falling over. Instead, he surges forward and envelops both Sam and Jack to him in a tight embrace. His fingers card through Jack’s hair, and the boy closes his eyes in pure relief. Somehow, he was still wanted. He was still loved. His fathers had come for him. Chuck had been wrong.

“It’s all right now, Jack,” Cas says. “You’re safe. We’re going to take you home.” 

But Jack shakes his head. “I can’t. Dean. He’s going to kill me, he's ...”

“No, he isn’t going to kill you, Jack,” Sam promises, hugging the boy close. “He’s missed you, too. I won’t let anything happen to you ever again. Neither will Cas. None of us will. I promise. I know this is late, but… I love you too, Jack. I love you so much, and I’m so sorry I failed you.” 

“I’m sorry, too,” Jack cries, his tears coating Sam’s neck. “I’m sorry about Mary. I’m sorry for all of it.”

Sam and Cas shush him, whispering nothing but comfort and assurance, holding him close. 

They stay huddled on the floor for a long, long time.

[wincestbigbang]

2019 Master Post

​Title: Invisible Touch Author: ellerkay Artist: blindswandive Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Sibling incest, first time, mind control, mind control aftermath and recovery, mind rape, blow jobs, anal sex, kissing, making out, hand jobs, telepathy, guilt, shame, emotional hurt/comfort, barebacking Summary: A witch with mind control powers makes Sam and Dean have sex with each other for the first time, forcing them to confront their desire for one other. Afterwards, they find their way back to intimacy and to healing. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Undertow Author: laughablelament Artist: Nisaki (a.k.a. swan_song21) Rating: NC-17 Warning/Spoilers: non-graphic suicide attempt Summary: A not-so-brotherly riff on The Little Mermaid. “And the Broken Hearts, men without country, without family, are transfixed and transformed by the Song. But all is not lost. For the Love of a Mortal can melt the Mer Heart, and thus restore the Human Form.” -the lore Art: Live Journal | Tumblr Story: Ao3 Title: Suits Author: twoboys2love Artist: leaf_zelindor Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: important spoilers from season 1 to season 10 (If you haven't watched) Summary: Suits the boys have worn over the years... and the feelings they inspired. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Kale or Nada Author: smalltrolven Artist: tx_devilorangel Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Spoilers for episode 14.13. Summary: A coda to episode 14.13 “Lebanon” set in the AU from the epic 300th episode. Sam is an ultra-rich internet-famous tech corporate lawyer that sends the best criminal defense lawyer in the country to get Dean out of his jam with the FBI. Within a few days of being released from FBI custody (with an apology!), Dean is sitting in the living room of Sam’s Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: Slipping Through the Minutes Author: sci_fis Artist: emmatheslayer Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: N/A Summary: Omega Sam (16) and Alpha Dean have been in a relationship for a couple of years, but Dean refuses to mate with Sam until he turns 18, insisting that Sam should be old enough to give informed consent first. But when young unmated omegas start going missing, things may change. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: Playtime Author: jdl71 Artist: cherie_morte Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Dark Fiction, Blood, Sibling Incest, Murder, Violence, Kidnapping, Torture, Bottom Sam, Top Dean. Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester have embraced their dark desires for each other and for killing not just the supernatural. They travel, looking for a new toy for Sam to play with and something for Dean to hunt. They enjoy hearing the screams of those they hunt; Sam loves to see their blood drip from his knife while Dean enjoys the thrill of the hunt. Art: Live Journal Story: Ao3 Title: After the End of Everything Author: amypond45 Artist: amberdreams Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: None Summary: Michael won. He took the world down, then opened a portal to another universe and moved on, leaving Sam and Dean to pick up the pieces. After his possession, Dean is a burned-out shell with no conscious memory of anything that happened during his time as Michael’s vessel. Sam takes his broken brother on the road, and together they make their way home, hoping to find others who made it through the End of Days, hoping to find a way back to each other. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Live Journal | Ao3 Title: All My Loves Author: ncdover/ncdover1285 Artist: sandy79 Other Pairing(if applicable): Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, Dean/Lisa, Sam/Jess (mostly mentioned) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Underage Summary: They say that we fall in love with three people over our lifetime, each one for a specific reason. Each person that we fall in love with is something that we are seeking at that particular time in our lives. Dean has been falling for Sammy in many different ways over the years, for as long as he can remember. How could he possibly have three loves? So he sits down to think it through and decides that while he may have had three loves in his life, he has never stopped loving his Sammy, and never will. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Love, Lies, & Lap Dances Author: wicked-wincest-writer / cleighwrites Artist: bluefire986 Other Pairing (if applicable): Sam/Jess, Dean & clients (mentioned/background) Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Angst, hypothermia, mentions of prostitution, frottage, anal sex, incest (duh!), slowest of burns Summary: Sam was a freshman at Stanford who had no idea how his big brother was paying for him to live off-campus. Dean was a part-time escort and a full-time liar. How will Sam react when he finds out exactly how Dean has been paying for everything since they left their dad behind? Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Tumblr | Ao3 Title: Dead Hearts Author: raving_liberal Artist: kuwlshadow Rating: R Warnings/Spoilers: Body/Medical Horror, Blood and Gore, Blood Kind (Kinda), Canon-Typical Violence, spoilers for Season 02 Summary: A gory vision sends Sam and Dean to New York to investigate a series of bizarre murder-suicides among organ transplant recipients. They soon find themselves racing the clock to save a kidnapped girl before she becomes the next victim. Nightmares and the memory of Dean’s heartsblood on his lips haunt Sam through an investigation that puts the brothers on the trail of an ancient Norse legend. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Catch the Wind Author: sarasaurusrex Artist: bluefire986 Other Pairing(if applicable): Castiel/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Mostly Wincest, Wincestiel at the end, teencest, Flashbacks, Time Travel, Action/Adventure, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Young Sam Winchester, Young Dean Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Butterfly Effect, Choices, Changing the past, OC Villains, Guilt, Castiel Does What Castiel Wants (Supernatural), Threesome - M/M/M, wound care, Making Out, Don't Wake Dad, Healing Sex Summary: When a rogue angel Castiel once spared begins murdering angels on the West Coast, Sam and Dean help Castiel hunt the angel down once and for all. Along the way they find themselves in a place they stayed in as teenagers. It brings back memories of Sam’s 16th birthday, when he was being hunted by a delusional friend of John's who was determined to stop the next King of Hell. Unbeknownst to Sam, Dean, or Castiel, the past and present are inexplicably intertwined, and sparing the angel in the past has unfathomable consequences for Sam and Dean's future. Fate, chance, and redemption must all be confronted for the trio to move on. Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: There Goes the Neighborhood Author: amusawale Artist: tx_devilorangel Other Pairing(if applicable): Sam/Jessica Rating: PG-13 Warnings/Spoilers: Slow burn, canon compliant wincest, pre-series AU Summary: Dean didn't get to collect Sam from Stanford. They never took to the road together. Sam went on to be a lawyer and Dean did his hunting thing. But now Sam wants to run for mayor and he needs to scrub his record of this annoying brother who is a stain on his impeccable record. He meets with Dean, and asks him to "kill himself" so that Sam can be free of him. Dean agrees. Sam is dissatisfied now. Why does his brother find it so easy to let him go? (which, really, hypocrite much?" - the author says as an aside) Art: Live Journal | Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: Love the Sinner: Embrace the Sin Author: paperann Artist: 2blueshoes Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Explicit Sexual Content, Dark Themes Summary: While Sam and Dean were raised as hunters, it was their choice to continue the fight against evil—their duty to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves. Time and time again, they’d save the world, fight the monsters, but in truth: Destiny doomed the Winchesters from the start. Why else was Sam born as Lucifer’s true vessel, spiraling into a demon blood addiction so easily and spectacularly—unless an inherent darkness resided inside him all along? How could Dean wield the Mark of Cain, only passed down through biblical blood and honed by those few deemed ‘worthy'—unless he wasn’t a natural-born sadistic killer? In a sad twist of irony, the Winchesters were always fated to be monsters, no matter how they tried to even the scales. Aboard a sinking ship, they chose insanity—Dean scraping together broken parts to stay afloat while Sam kept thinking love conquers all—maybe it was time to let go, to drown. Giving in didn’t necessarily mean giving up. Even if it hurt, there could be another life waiting for them. Together. Anything was better than being trapped in this cycle—whether it was cowardice or courage it didn’t matter—someone had to break it, before it broke them. Art: Ao3 Story: Ao3 Title: For The Love Of Chuck (Or Not) Author: runedgirl Artist: a_biting_smile Rating: NC-17 Summary: After Chuck’s revelation, Sam becomes hopeless enough to want to give up on life itself, so Dean knows he has to take drastic action. What can they do that Chuck would hate enough to give up on his “favorite show” and let the Winchesters make their own choices again? Warning/Spoilers: Takes place directly after the Season 14 finale. Castiel appears as a side character, no romantic undertones. Art: Live Journal Story: Live Journal Title: A Map Without Landmarks is Useless Author: Zee487 Artist: An Rating: NC-17 Warnings/Spoilers: Major Character Death, Suicide Attempt, Violence Summary: When Sam is born, John props Dean’s elbow up on a pillow, carefully places the tiny wrinkled bundle into Dean’s arms, and tells Dean, “This is Sam. He’s your brother. You gotta watch out for him.” Dean looks at his brother’s big, clear eyes looking back at him and feels Sam’s tiny hand wrap around his finger and falls head over heels in love. Art: Tumblr Story: Ao3

[themonsterattheendofthisfic]

There had always been something there

If Destiel were to happen, in canon, between right now (5.13) and Carry On. Read on AO3 Here.

There had always been something there. Everybody knew it, but they knew it in that tight little place in your heart that you know not to touch. Demons, angels, they could poke at it, sure. They knew to poke at it.

That profound bond. 

Castiel knew from the beginning it was doomed. That was what called him to fall from grace, after all, that something that he saw in Dean. And he thought that would be how he felt about all of humanity, but after Heaven shut him out? It wasn’t. It wasn’t the same; there was something about Dean. But he didn’t know, he didn’t know what it was.

Dean didn’t even think about it. Castiel was just suddenly there, and then he was Cas. And something about him made Dean trust him, it just did. And he was right, after all, Cas proved him right in that heaven room. And of course he wanted Cas there, he was Cas. 

Sam didn’t even think about it until... because Dean and Cas were always just closer than he and Cas, and it made sense. I mean, Cas had been there for Dean when Sam went all dark side, they had history Sam couldn’t ever manufacture with the angel. And Cas had saved their asses more than a few times, and... Cas was always gonna be there for them. He was ride or die, and Dean’s loyalty was exclusively ride or die, no matter how stupid or lost or monstrous that buddy was. It was his thing; after all, he’d grown up with Sam as a little brother.

But as they got older, Sam started to look at old couples in diner booths and get sad. He started to want that kind of thing, and it didn’t make sense to him how Dean just... didn’t. He used to, talked about that “apple pie” life with the kind of wistful bitterness that was transparently envy. But then:

“You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?“

“Have you not heard a single word Bob's been singing about? You're tired. I can tell. You're exhausted. Well, I'm still wired, so I'm gonna pull over, get some gas. You hop in the back, get some Z's 'cause, buddy, you earned 'em.”

It just didn’t make sense. It didn’t really seem like Dean was lying. Pushing him away, sure, but not lying. Dean didn’t need anything, anybody more, not anymore. But how could he be so content with being alone? Besides... family?

And then Sam realized, just a little bitterly, that Dean wasn’t alone, at least not in everyday life. In their little trio, it wasn’t three guys making it by themselves together. No, when it came to home life, it was Sam, and it was Dean and Cas. 

Of course, it wasn’t like... Well, I mean, it wasn’t like Dean was... 

Okay, so Sam had always known that Dean looked at guys a certain way, got nervous with guys a certain way that he was never comfortable talking about. So they never talked about it.

And then he thought about all the looks that went on just a second too long, and how quick to anger Dean was when it came to Cas, and how broken he was when Cas was gone.

And all of a sudden, Sam thinks that maybe, maybe Dean’s a little in love with Cas. And maybe he doesn’t even realize it.

“Hey, Dean?”

Dean looked up from his book disinterestedly. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Sam cleared his throat and sat at the foot of Dean’s bed. Gingerly. “Uh... I just wanted to, I mean.”

“Come on, spit it out Sammy, I don’t have all day.” 

Sam frowned. “This morning, you said you were dedicating the day to, and I quote, “relaxurbation.” 

Dean nodded seriously. “And I’m on a very tight schedule.” It got a laugh out of Sam, which was all Dean wanted, because conversations that started with Sam stuttering made him nervous.

“Okay, so, I don’t mean to, like, pry or anything. And I’m not even saying this is it so like... don’t freak out, okay?”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “You’re freaking me out right now!”

“Sorry, sorry.” Sam cleared his throat again. “Okay, you know how we grew up...” He could see Dean opening his mouth to make a snide comment. “Just shut up, dude! For once.” 

Dean blinked, pausing, and spread out his hands. Go ahead. “Dad raised us rough and in a bunch of podunk, nothing towns around a bunch of hillbilly, old-fashioned hunters.” 

“Like Bobby?” Dean asked sarcastically.

“Yeah, and like Travis.” Silence. He’d made his point. “Listen, all I’m saying is that we were raised around some pretty messed up stuff about being strong or whatever. About being a good man.” 

“Okay, and?” Dean was squinting now, looking at Sam like he had no idea what he was saying. 

Sam rolled his eyes. “And they weren’t right. I mean, they made fun of me for reading too much. The stuff they said about other people? About people that weren’t leather-wearing shotgun yielding hardasses? Some of them were just... bigots.”

“Sam, what the hell are you saying?” Dean was impatient again, but Sam’s heart sped up. Usually Dean got impatient when he was uncomfortable.

“I’m saying that it’s understandable, you know, for us to still feel some of that. But we don’t have to be like them, Dean.”

“Sammy, are you trying to tell me something?” Dean was leaning forward, hands on his knees.

“Yeah, man! I’m trying to say that I don’t think like them. I’m not- it doesn’t change anything for me if somebody’s, like, gay or something-”

Dean folded back up. “Oh, and you think it does for me? Jesus Sam, I may be a dick but I’m not an asshole.”

Sam put his face in his hands. This was coming out so wrong. “I’m saying, Dean, that looking at guys doesn’t make you any less of a man.” There was dead silence. Sam swallowed and looked up to see Dean staring at him angrily, but Sam could swear there was a little hint of fear in the way Dean was working his jaw. 

“I don’t know what you’re thinking you’re seeing Sammy, but you’re way off base.” He got up and stormed away to his room without another word.  

---------------------

Dean slammed his bedroom door with a bang that made even him jump. He stopped dead and breathed shakily, trying to sort through his thoughts. He was pissed, for one thing. That much he knew. He was also shaking. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to picture that dock he loved to fish at, the one he dreamed about on his best nights. It always calmed him down.

Why the hell would Sam think that he was… what, gay? Dean laughed out loud to himself. He loved the ladies. He more than loved the ladies. Hell, he had dumped Sam at a bar plenty of times to spend some quality time in their hotel room with a hot girl. No way, Sam must’ve hit his head. 

But he went over the conversation in his head again, all that stuff Sam had said about John’s buddies growing up. It was true, marine vets and hunters in the ‘80s and ‘90s were not the most open-minded crowd. They’d given Sam shit about his good grades and his hair, given Dean shit about his cheekbones for gods’ sake. That time he’d wanted to go to the prom, that time they’d caught him listening to Radio Speedwagon… okay, so they were assholes. Sure. And no, some of them hadn’t had the greatest things to say about Freddie Mercury or Rock Hudson or David Bowie… But that didn’t make him like them. He didn’t have crushes on guys like that…

Okay so he could admit that Fred from Scooby Doo was annoyingly perfect. And he had been a little obsessed with him as a kid. But that didn’t mean he wanted the guy.

And Rodney, that guy in sophomore year that he tutored in Latin for extra cash, the swimmer. He’d tried so hard to make him laugh, he had such a nice laugh. And arms. But it wasn’t like he’d ever done anything…

Lee was a one-time thing. Dean was lonely and on an adrenaline rush from his first case without John, and they got drunk. It just happened. And they’d woken up to John banging on the door and even after they had all their clothes on, they still got chewed out for being drunk. And he and Lee, well, he never let it happen again. And after the cult thing, after the bloodbath in Arizona… Dean had been shitty. He had been mean and dismissive and told Lee to fuck off, that I was drunk, man, and he didn’t see Lee again until he had to kill him. 

But that didn’t make him gay. 

He hadn’t done stuff with a guy since. Maybe he’d looked at them. Maybe he’d gotten blushy and tongue-tied a couple of times around a couple of detectives, but he was naturally awkward sometimes. And plenty of straight dudes watched gay porn. 

Dean laughed and felt a tear slide down his face, and he stopped it up tight. Okay, fine. So Sam was right. Maybe he liked guys. In a way adjacent to the way he liked girls. 

Maybe that made him bi.

-------

“Sam.” It came out stern and rough and too loud, and Dean cleared his throat. Sam was making himself breakfast, so Dean leaned up against the counter and waited until he looked up from his eggs. 

“Look, I’m… I’m sorry. For the other night. Um…” He cleared his throat again. “Look, you were just trying to get me to ‘introspect’ or whatever, and I don’t really…”

“Deal with that well?” Sam smiled softly and Dean laughed nervously, looking down. He looked back up and caught Sam’s eye. Sam knew, he got it. And he knew what Dean was trying to say. Dean nodded and cleared his throat again.

“Thanks. Okay, enough of that talk for a lifetime!” he said cheerily. He started to practically run from the room but paused at the doorway and shouted. “Chicks are still hot though!” 

Sam laughed. “Never doubted that, Dean. Nobody could fake your kind of enthusiasm.”

Dean grinned and winked, and then he left the room.

He was out.

----------------

Sam talked to Cas next. For all the saving the world and working against God they were doing, they had a lot of down time. Cas was studying a lore book in the library while Jack and Dean watched a full season of “River Monsters” for an “educational break from the world destruction shit.”

“Hey Cas, can I ask you a question?” He sat down across from Cas and leaned across the table. This was going to be so much easier than the conversation with Dean. And he really needed to know if… well, if he was right. If there was a chance that, after all this, Dean could be happy with somebody who understood the life, like he wanted to be. That is, if they all survived.

“Of course, Sam, what is it?” Cas was as earnest as ever. He smiled. Dean’s constant gruffness could be good with that earnestness. Was already good with it.

“Angel… society, I guess. How does that work?”

Cas tilted his head, confusion and a hint of snark behind his words. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Sam. Angels have lived for millennia spread across the entire universe.”

“Yeah, okay.” Sam sighed. Maybe this wouldn’t be that much easier. “Like, I know you said angels don’t have gender or anything, but… do you have sexuality? Love? Those kinds of… things?” Fuck, was he being too obvious? Dean would kill him. Chuck would actually get his perfect ending.

Cas was pondering. “Well, I suppose it changes in degree for every angel, as it does with humans. But, yes, we have emotions not unlike humans. Without them, I would never have fallen in the first place.”

Sam sucked in a breath. “Right, like, you, um, you saw Dean and…”

Cas nodded. “Once I saw what heaven was doing to Dean and you, I started to have doubts. I started to feel… for humans. And well, Dean pushed me into making the right decision. He got me angry enough.” Cas smiled at the memory. 

“Yeah, uh, he’s pretty good at that.” Sam cleared his throat. “So, you have emotions, can you fall in love?”

“I don’t know.” Cas looked at Sam’s perplexed face and tried to explain. “I can feel connection, I can feel loyalty, I can feel… desire…” Sam was un com fort able again, why did he decide to do this? “But whether that amounts to human love, I don’t know. I never had the chance to fall in love as a human; I too heavily relied on you and Dean to feel at all comfortable.”

“I mean, that sounds like love to me. All of that and… knowing that if you lost them, it would hurt something awful. That you’d do anything in the world to save them from any pain.” Sam was back on Eilleen again, he couldn’t shake her. 

Cas was silent for a moment until Sam came out of his thoughts and motioned for him to continue. “As for sexuality, angels do not have what humans define as gay or straight or anything else. We see souls as much as vessels. Gender is inconsequential.”

“Right, yeah, I imagine it’s hard to be gay when you don’t have genders in the first place.” Sam laughed, but Cas stayed silent. Apparently he didn’t see any humor in it. “Well, uh, have you ever thought about… I mean, do you ever want to settle down or something?” 

God, was he asking him for his intentions or something? Sam could not believe his clumsiness. It all sounded better in his head. 

“Sam, I’ve been alive for millenia and will live for many more, if Chuck doesn’t destroy the world. If I were to find a mate or any such thing, I would have to see them age and die and live on. Is that something you would want in my shoes? Is it something anyone would want to be involved with?” Cas was almost… bitter. But more, he just seemed tired. And sad. 

“I’m sorry, Cas. I never thought of it that way.” Sam started to stand, to leave him alone, but he paused. “For the record, though, yes, it is something I would want. We all have to lose people we love someday, but it’s pointless if you use that as an excuse. Sounds like something Dean would say.” He sighed and left Cas sitting alone with his thoughts.

-----------

Cas was… he was pensive. Sam’s question’s replayed in his head, that last comment on repeat the most. Love and desire and loyalty and pain, that is what characterized love. He mulled it over. So many years had been wasted on heavenly wars, following orders without question and executing “the will of God” without doubt. Really, the only time he started to feel emotions that made him really… ache… well, it was with Dean.

Dean was the first human he’d ever met to treat him like he was… human. Dean was the first person he ever stepped in for, ever betrayed orders to try to protect. Dean was the first human to make him double over with laughter. Dean was still the only person who would go to the ends of the universe for him; he’d shown it time and time again. 

But behind all the big stuff, Cas really started to think. He thought, at first, that his heart was speeding up from excitement, from the danger, that looking at Dean was just the alarm bells that would set off his fall. But they’d never stopped.

They had a profound bond.

It was possible, then, after all this time, that Megatron had been right. Castiel was in love, with humanity in general no, but with one man, yes. The one man he’d given up everything for. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe after Chuck was defeated, there would be time for love. 

He remembered his deal with The Empty. If he was happy, truly, then he would die. But hadn’t Castiel risked that for Dean many times before?

---------

Dean’s first steps into intentional bisexuality included lots of porn and even more stuttering. He went out to a gay bar, the only one in 100 miles that he could tell, and bumped into every table his shaky legs could find. He spilled drinks and messed up pick up lines he’d used for years. His face saved him. He made out with a few guys, got pushed up against walls in the alley and discovered not only butts were butts, but mouths were mouths. Universally. 

He never went any further. 

He was far from a virgin, but, after so many years, Dean was scared. Ass hanging out in the wind scared. And he was not about to admit that to anybody, which meant he was not about to get in any kind of situation that he would freak in. So no sex.

So after a while, Dean laid off on the investigation and just… let it be. He started driving around in Baby a lot, parking in the middle of nowhere to think, trying to get comfortable with new and improved him. One night he accidentally did that until about 3 in the morning.

Dean drove back to the bunker that night, dazed and confused, if you will, by his feelings. He parked Baby in the garage and went around the long way, still trying to parse out why the hell he was so hung up on the idea of fucking a guy. 

Castiel was waiting up for him. He sat in the library, holding a glass of whiskey that he’d obviously not touched. “Cas, buddy,” Dean yawned and stretched, walking over to him. “What are you doing out here?” 

Cas shrugged. “I guess I was just making sure you got home. I mean, were alright. I didn’t know where you were.”

“You tell me everywhere you’re going?” Dean winced inwardly at how harsh that sounded. His gut reaction was still defensiveness; he wasn’t ready to tell Cas about any of this. He took the glass out of Cas’s hand and downed the whiskey; maybe that would soften his edges a bit.

“I was just worried.” 

“Cas, phones, for the millionth time, phones exist. Pretty sure you were there when they were invented.”

Cas pursed his lips, annoyed. “Well excuse me for caring about you, Dean. I was under the impression that that was what we did around here.” He tried to stand up but Dean waved an arm at him that forced him to sit again.

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’ve just been… working a few things out. Going on drives. Um…” Dean trailed off. Cas had tugged at his tie to loosen it; he got fidgety when he was annoyed. And that made Dean feel something that he was just learning to recognize. Cas looked up at him, confused at his sudden silence, and then they were just looking. At each other. Like they had so many times before. Except this time Dean knew exactly what he was feeling and it scared the fuck out of him. And Cas knew exactly what he was feeling, and it scared the fuck out of him. 

“Okay, I’m, uh, I’m hitting the sack. You coming?” Dean started to stand up and almost choked on his own breath. “I mean, you going to your room, because it’s too creepy to think of you just sitting out in the dark like this all night.” 

“Yes. I guess I am.” Cas said softly. Whatever made Dean happy. Even when he was being a dick.

--------

SAD ENDING:

They were ready. Well, not ready, but as ready as they ever would be. Chuck was waiting, he knew they were coming, and Team Free Will 2.0 had all the weapons they could muster. And yet they still geared up like it was a normal hunt. Sam was packing snacks, for fuck’s sake.

Dean walked the halls nervously, tapping on the wall by Jack’s open door. “Hey kid, you doing alright?” 

Jack looked up at him, apprehension written all over his face. “When am I not ready to kill my grandparents, the two oldest cosmic beings, in a final hail Mary to save the entire universe and everyone I love?” 

Dean chuckled as much as he could given the truth of the statement. “Hey, we’ve all got your back, kid. And if we go down, we’ll go down swinging. Together. ”

Jack nodded and Dean backed off, rounding the corner to Cas’s room. “Cas.” he said it softly, but Cas still startled and turned around. Dean held up his hands in surrender. “Just, uh, checking in, I guess.” Cas hesitated a second and nodded silently. “Did you ever think we’d get here, when you first chunked me out of hell?” 

Cas smiled softly. Somehow, through everything, that time in hell had almost become a fond memory. “No, Dean, I can honestly say I never thought I would be here, with you, about to attempt to kill God. Chuck.” There was that bitterness that made Dean a little sad, made him remember how much Castiel believed in God in the beginning.

“Yeah, well, I guess this is it then.”

He looked at Cas and suddenly realized how close they were standing. His eyes searched Cas’s, and they looked at each other for too long of a beat. 

“Yes. It seems like it.”

Dean sighed. “Cas, I just wanna say, before we, you know,” he waved a hand around. “I just wanna say, dimes for donuts we don’t make it out of this alive, and-” 

“Dean, you don’t need to.”

Dean blanched. Dean, for one, didn’t have any idea what the hell he’d been about to say, so how did Cas? “I just mean-”

“Hasn’t everything already been said? Everything we’ve been through, over all these years, hasn’t that said enough?”

Dean sighed and looked down with a sad smile. “Guess you’re right.” He’d always been a man of action more than words.

Dean gave an infinitesimal nod and Cas gave one back, decided, and they went to fight. Maybe someday there would be a time for words. 

Except there weren’t any more days. Not for them.

[mittensmorgul]

Bringing back this bit from 12.06, and the first time Mary and Billie met:

Because I’m preparing myself for 14.17.

Billie: The look in your eyes, I've seen it before. It's a dead man's look -- eyes that say no matter where you go or what you do, it feels like this world doesn't fit anymore, like you're all alone. Dean: Well, she's not alone. Billie: Tell me I'm wrong. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this. Mary: How would it work? Sam: Mom? Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don't kill people. Rules. Mary: Well... then... Then I guess you're just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters. If you change your mind -- if any of you change your minds -- you know my name.

But also this bit from 13.05:

Billie: Since I got this... new job, I stand witness to a much larger picture. Do you know what I see? You. And your brother. You're important. Dean: Why? Billie: You have work to do. That's all you need to know. And trust me, having my eyes opened to the necessity of any humans, especially Winchesters, is not a thrill. So... you wanna die, but I say... keep living.

Because in 12.09, Cas included Mary under this Winchester Umbrella that he so recklessly incurred Cosmic Consequences for in killing Billie to save Mary. I’ve been waiting patiently to see Billie again since 14.10...

SAM: It’s time. MARY: What’s happening? BILLIE: Yeah, Dean. ‘Sup. MARY: Billie? CAS: The reaper? MARY: I don’t understand. DEAN: Mom… that place… there was only one way we were getting out of there, and that wasn’t breathing.  DEAN: So I made a call. SAM: Dean talked with her, and then Billie came to see me. SAM: And we made a deal. We’d get to die and come back one more time, but in exchange… BILLIE: Come midnight, a Winchester goes bye-bye. Like, permanently. And that is something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time. MARY: Why would you-- DEAN: We were already dead. Being locked in that cell with nothing… I’ve been to Hell. This was worse. SAM: At least this way, one of us gets to keep fighting. CAS: You don’t have to do this. BILLIE: Yeah, they do. We made a pact, bound in blood. You break that, there’s consequences on a cosmic scale. So, who’s it gonna be? MARY: Me. DEAN: Mom, mom. SAM: No. No. MARY: You said come midnight, a Winchester dies? I’m a Winchester. BILLIE: Works for me. SAM: Mom! DEAN: Don’t! MARY: [sniffles] I love you. [Mary is about to pull the trigger when suddenly an angel blade pierces through Billie’s chest from behind, and she falls down dead, revealing Cas behind her. Everyone looks suitably shocked, including Cas. Mary lowers her gun, and Sam and Dean get to their feet.] DEAN: Cas, what have you done? CASTIEL: What had to be done. You know this world-- this sad, doomed little world-- it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die. I won’t let any of you die. And I won’t let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me. To everything. Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal, and I broke it. You’re welcome.

[beatlejuice64]

Destiel Season 12: A catalog of Supernatural episodes

A catalog of each episode in Supernatural that features scenes related to Destiel. This includes scenes between Dean and Castiel, scenes with other characters that address their relationship with each other, and scenes that allude to Dean’s bisexuality.

Season 12 Summary Analysis

Cas is ecstatic that Dean survived the confrontation with Amara. Cas, Dean, Sam, and Crowley work together to find Lucifer, and they successfully exorcise him from the President. When Dean and Sam get captured, Cas blames himself and feels lost without them. After Cas kills Billie to save Mary, he and Dean bicker and fight like an old married couple. During a near-death experience while fighting Ramiel, Cas professes his love for the Winchesters. After losing Kelly a second time, Cas leaves to find her and seeks help from the angels, avoiding Dean out of shame for failing him multiple times. Dean calls Cas out for disappearing, but is quick to forgive him and expresses his feelings that they are “better together.” Cas cannot bring himself to kill Kelly, and he ends up channeling the nephilim’s power to defeat Dagon. Cas latches onto his belief that the nephilim can be good for the world and leaves the Winchesters yet again. When Cas is killed by Lucifer, Dean is absolutely devastated.

My interpretation: Cas and Dean’s improved communication with each other early in the season indicates a higher lever of closeness and familiarity than before, as shown through their ability to communicate with looks and through Castiel’s increased ability to pick up on Dean’s sarcasm. Cas shows genuine concern for Mary because he knows how much she means to Dean and knows how much she cares for Dean and Sam. Despite the apparent “cosmic consequences,” Cas kills Billie to save Mary because he cares for her and because he can’t bear to see Dean suffer her loss a second time. Castiel’s confrontation with Ishim reminds him of how much he has changed for the better as a result of Dean’s (and Sam’s) influence, but he still has some lingering self-loathing issues carried over from season 11. Cas repeatedly places the well-being of the Winchesters over his own, and feels unworthy of Dean’s affection. Cas avoids Dean because he cannot bear to disappoint him, and he grows more emotionally distant over the course of the season. Dean understands and accepts Castiel’s behavior and forgives him multiple times for his failures and disappearances, exhibiting truly unconditional love toward him.

12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On

As soon as Cas sees Dean is alive, he gives him a big hug.

When Dean introduces Cas to his Mom, Cas acts slightly awkward.

Cas recognizes Mary’s discomfort with being alive again and tries to make her feel better: “This must be difficult for you. I remember my first moments on Earth. It was jarring.” “One word for it. I grew up with hunters. I’ve heard of people coming back from the dead before. But to actually do it, after 30 years? A lot’s changed. A lot.”

12.02 Mamma Mia

Dean confides in Cas that he feels weird about his mom being back. Cas listens and then gives him advice: “Don’t make things needlessly complicated, as you humans tend to do. I’ll call you.” Dean is annoyed at Castiel’s words: “That’s helpful. Thanks.”

When Cas finds the building where Sam is located, he recognizes Dean’s frustration with his communication style: “Did you have a look inside?” “No. No, it’s powerfully warded.” “Powerfully warded? Okay, see, buddy, that was your headline right there.” “Are we still discussing the same thing?”

When Mary tries to go with Dean, Dean gives Cas a look. Cas understands and comes up with an excuse to persuade Mary to stay with him.

12.03 The Foundry

Castiel admits to Mary that he’s still not sure where he belongs, but he tries to make her feel better, showing genuine concern for her: “Castiel, after you left heaven, when did it start to feel like you fit, like you belonged here?” “Well, I’m still not sure I do.” “Yeah...” “Mary, you DO belong here.”

Cas leaves to find Lucifer without Sam and Dean and calls them out for not taking care of Mary: “If it is him, I will call you. In the meantime, I think you’re needed here.”

Cas fixes his appearance in the mirror before approaching someone’s door (a learned behavior from Dean).

Cas is sarcastic with Crowley (another learned behavior from Dean): “You’re just mad because you’re only my second choice for a Lucifer hunt team-up.” “No, actually, I think it’s sweet. I thought your motivation was ambition and revenge, but now I know you just want to save your mother.”

12.04 American Nightmare

Dean is weirded out by Cas working with Crowley: “Yes, Cas, that’s weird! It’s really, REALLY weird.”

12.05 The One You’ve Been Waiting For

Sam calls Dean out for suppressing his confused feelings about their Mom: “...you sure you don’t wanna talk about...” “No.” “Dean, it’s called sublimation.” “Yeah. Yeah, it’s kinda my thing.”

12.07 Rock Never Dies

Dean exhibits homophobic behavior when he makes fun of Sam’s fondness for hair rock: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” “Yeah, or a dude by his, uh, rainbow wig and leopard prints.” “Rainbow wig? What? You know what, I’m done apologizing. Lucifer is possessing Vince Vincente. This is Vince Vincente’s music, so listening to it is research.”

Dean teases Cas for his clothes and Cas throws shade right back at him: “You consider switchin’ up your duds there? Bit stiff for this town.” “He could be an agent or something.” “Yeah, maybe a third tier agent.” “At least I don’t look like a lumberjack.” 

Sam blows off Cas and Dean’s bickering like it’s a regular occurrence.

12.08 LOTUS

When Cas gets overwhelmed by angel radio, Dean jumps to his side and holds his arm, worried about his well-being.

12.09 First Blood

Cas feels terrible after losing Kelly and finding out Dean and Sam have been captured, which is exacerbated when Mary blames him for what happened.

Cas goes to Crowley for help finding Dean and Sam, despite how much he loathes him.

Mary meets up with Cas to apologize for blaming him, but he still feels responsible. Mary tries to reassure Cas because he looks so distraught, and he explains that he feels completely lost without them: “I saw it on the news, and I thought, ‘That’s the sort of thing Sam and Dean would investigate.’ They would roll into town, save the day, kill the monsters. But with them gone... I tried to work the case. I tried, but I don’t know what I did wrong. I asked questions, but maybe they were the wrong people or the wrong questions, and I just... I never found it. Never found the monster. Never even got close. And three more women died before I left town, before I ran away.” “So we go back, you and me.” “No. No, I’d only get in your way.”

As soon as Dean and Sam escape from prison, Dean calls Cas for help.

Dean hugs Cas when they’re reunited.

When the car stops and Sam says, “It’s time,” Cas gives Dean a stern look, and Dean looks away in guilt.

Cas is unwilling to let Mary sacrifice herself and kills Billie. Dean is angry at him for taking that risk: “Cas, what’ve you done?” “What had to be done. You know, this world, this sad, doomed little world, it needs you. It needs every last Winchester it can get, and I will not let you die. I won’t let ANY of you die. And I won’t let you sacrifice yourselves. You mean too much to me, to everything. Yeah, you made a deal. You made a stupid deal, and I broke it. You’re welcome.”

12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

Sam is annoyed at Dean for being angry at Cas and treating him with petty resentment: “You talk to Cas yet?” “No.” “So what, you’re just gonna keep walk-in’ past each other in the kitchen, not saying a word?” “Maybe.” “Look, yes, Cas killed Billie, but he saved us. He saved Mom. How long are you gonna stay pissed?” “I’m not pissed that he cares about us, you know, I’m grateful. But Billie said there would be ‘cosmic consequences’ if that deal got broken. You have any idea what that means?” “No.” “Neither do I, but I’m pretty sure it ain’t jelly beans and g-strings.” “My point is, Cas thought he was doing the right thing.”

When Cas says he has a friend in danger, Dean is willing to help, but continues to bicker with Cas: “Sure. Yeah, we could help. Gotta make sure you don’t do anything else stupid.” Cas rolls his eyes.

Sam calls Dean and Cas out for their childish behavior toward each other in the car: “Alright. Guys, you know what? This silent treatment thing, it’s silly. It’s not gonna work.”

Cas glares at Dean when he makes a jab at him. They continue to bicker like an old married couple: “Wow, this Benjamin seems like he’s pretty cool, ya know? Like he wouldn’t make any half-cocked, knee-jerk choices.” “Yeah, you know, what I like about him is that he’s sarcastic, but he’s thoughtful and appreciative, too.” “Now what is that supposed to mean?”

Cas continues to throw sarcasm back at Dean: “If I plan to do anything else stupid, I’ll let you know.” Dean doesn’t get why Cas is so upset, and Sam gives him an exasperated look.

While Cas is speaking with Ishim and Mirabel, Dean barges in uninvited and squeezes into the booth. Cas is clearly irritated, but he still calls Sam and Dean his friends: “These are my friends. My friends who don’t listen very well.”

Dean doesn’t like the way that Ishim spoke to Cas: “Why do you let him talk to you like that?”

Ishim comments on Castiel’s relationship with Dean and Sam, and Cas defends his choice to be friends with them: “The way you let those simians talk to you... Castiel, when did you get so gooey? You know why we’re meant to stay away from humans? Hmm? It’s not because we’re a danger to them. They’re a danger to us. Case in point.” “Well, my friendship with Sam and Dean has made me stronger.” “You can’t really believe that.”

Dean demonstrates his protectiveness of Cas when he and Sam confront Lily: “See, Cas is our family, so we can’t let you hurt him.”

When Dean returns to Cas and Ishim, he checks that Cas is okay, then confronts Ishim, who fails to persuade Cas to believe him: “Who are you gonna believe? Your brother, or some filthy ape who’s always talkin’ down to you, always mocking you.” “You know Cas and I might not always agree all the time, but at least he knows who his real friends are.” “Why do his words bother you so much, Ishim?” “Who is he to question my choices? Who is he to question yours?” “Well, it seems that some of my choices may need to be questioned.”

Ishim shows disdain for Castiel’s fondness for Dean as he threatens Dean’s life: “You survived hell. You were chosen by God. But now look at you. You’re just sad and pathetically weak. So now, I’m gonna help you. I’m gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own—by cutting it out.”

Dean draws an anti-angel sigil, but doesn’t use it because he’s not willing to risk harming Cas.

Dean shows forgiveness toward Cas by bringing him a beer, and he demonstrates his support and appreciation of Cas: “You earned it.” “Well, this will do very little for me, but I appreciate the gesture.” “What Ishim said... you’re not weak, Cas. You know that, right? ... And you have been with us every step of this long, crazy thrill ride. And no matter how crazy it got, you never backed down.”

Dean explains that he’s worried about Cas: “I’m not mad, I’m worried. Because things like ‘cosmic consequences’ have a habit of bitin’ us in the ass.” “I know they do, but I don’t regret what I did, even if it costs me my life.”

Cas demonstrates his value of human life when Sam asks him if he could kill Kelly’s child: “There was a time when I wouldn’t have hesitated. But now, I don’t know.”

12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Dean is highly amused when a waitress hits on Cas, and he tries to give Cas advice about hooking up with her.

When Cas says he thinks he’s dying, Dean refuses to believe it.

Cas knows he’s dying and still puts the Winchesters’ safety above his own: “Look, thank you. Thank you. Knowing you, it’s been the best part of my life. And the things we’ve shared together, they have changed me. You’re my family. I love you. I love all of you. Just please don’t make my last moments be spent watching you die. Just run. Save yourselves. And I will hold Ramiel off as long as I can.” Cas is looking straight at Dean when he says the line “they have changed me,” and even Mary recognizes how significant that is for Cas.

Dean refuses to leave Castiel’s side: “Like you said, we’re family. And we don’t leave family behind.”

Dean is at a loss for how to save Cas and is relieved when Crowley saves him.

12.15 Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell

As Cas is getting ready to return to heaven, Dean recognizes that something is off with him: “He sound weird to you?”

12.17 The British Invasion

Dean is starting to worry about Cas because he hasn’t heard from him: “Hey, you, uh, you hear anything from Cas yet?” “No. Still MIA.” “You think he’s alright?” “I don’t know.”

12.18 The Memory Remains

Dean is frustrated that he can’t reach Cas: “Cas, it’s me. I’ve been tryin’ to get a hold of you for days. I don’t know what’s goin’ on, but we got a line on Dagon, and we got our asses handed to us, even with the Colt. So... could really use the backup. Just call me back.”

Sam tries to reassure Dean that Cas is okay: “GPS on his phone is turned off, and there’s nothin’ in the system about some weird guy in a trench coat gettin’ arrested, or turning up dead.” “Dean, it’s Cas. I mean, this isn’t the first time he’s dropped off the map, ya know? And whatever’s happening, he’ll be fine. He always is.”

12.19 The Future

When Cas finally shows up, Sam is happy to see him, but Dean is angry that Cas has been ignoring them, even after Cas explains that he’s been in heaven: “No, I’m sorry, okay? ‘Cause while you were strikin’ out in heaven, we had a shot at Dagon, and we lost.” “I know. I received your messages.” “Oh, you DID receive the messages. Okay, that’s good. So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us. That’s great. ‘Cause we really could’ve used the backup. But, uh, you were too busy with, um... what was it? Nothing? What the hell’s wrong with you, man? You know, whatever. That’s... yeah. Welcome back.” Cas is visibly distraught at how much he has upset Dean.

Cas goes to Dean’s room to apologize and tries to return a mixtape that Dean had given him, but Dean gives it back: “It’s a gift. You keep those.” “Oh.”

Dean explains that Cas ghosting on them is not acceptable, and Cas explains that he has felt guilty for repeatedly failing him: “Cas, you can’t... with everything that’s goin’ on, you can’t just go dark like that. We didn’t know what happened to you. We were worried. That’s not ok.” “Well, I didn’t mean to add to your distress. I... Dean, I just keep failing. Again, and again. When you were taken, I searched for months and I couldn’t find you. And then Kelly escaped on my watch, and I couldn’t find her. And I just wanted... I NEEDED to come back here with a win for you, for myself.” “You think you’re the only one rollin’ snake eyes here? Me and Sam, we had her. We had Kelly, and we lost her.”

Dean forgives Cas and tells him they’re better together: “If you run out of time, could either of you kill an innocent?” “We will find a better way.” “You mean WE?” “Yes, dumbass. We. You, me, and Sam, we’re just better together. So now that you’re back, let’s ‘Go Team Free Will.’ Let’s get it done.” “I’d like that.” “Great. And I’d like a beer.”

Cas knows Dean well enough to look for the Colt under his pillow.

While helping the angels in their mission to kill the nephilim, an angel commends Cas for choosing heaven over the Winchesters, but Cas rejects this idea: “You’re doin’ the right thing, ya know. Committing to Joshua’s plan, putting angelkind above the Winchesters. I mean your reputation in heaven is...” “This has nothing to do with my reputation. I am doing this FOR the Winchesters. I stole the Colt to keep them out of this mission, and to keep them safe from Dagon. And I... I will kill this girl so that Sam and Dean don’t have to.”

When Dean and Sam catch up to Cas, Dean pins him to the wall in anger for deceiving them. Cas explains that he was trying to protect them: “I wanted to keep you out of this. I was trying to keep you safe.” “You’re not our babysitter, Cas, okay? That is not your job. And when in our whole lives have we ever been safe?”

Dean convinces Cas to come back to the bunker with them to talk and figure things out (but Kelly hijacks the car and drives off).

Sam is confused about why Cas keeps ditching them and deceiving them, but Dean understands his perspective: “What’s wrong with Cas?” “Well, he hasn’t exactly had a banner year. I mean, think about it. Between Lucifer, killing Billie, Ramiel, everything’s been blowin’ up in his face. And he’s so desperate for a win right now, he can’t even see straight.”

When Cas sees that Dean is hurt, he immediately heals him.

Dean is concerned about Castiel after his display of channeled nephilim power: “Are you ok?” “I am. I’ve been so lost. I’m not lost anymore. And I know now that this child must be born with all of his power.” ... “Whatever that thing did to you, we’re not just gonna let you walk away.”

Cas puts Dean and Sam to sleep so they can’t follow him and Kelly.

12.20 Twigs & Twine & Naomi Banes

Dean is concerned about what happened with Cas and the nephilim: “...up until now, if Cas messed up, if he did something wrong but he thought it was for the right reasons, I got it. Right? But last night, when I looked at him, I did not recognize the guy staring back at me.”

Dean calls his mom for emotional support over what’s happening with Cas: “Even if you can’t swing by, can you call me back? Just some stuff going down that’s kinda got me spun out. Be good to talk to you.”

12.22 Who We Are

Dean laments how things were when Cas was still around: “You know it wasn’t long ago, I thought we had it made. We saved the world. We got Cas back. We had Mom back. I mean, it wasn’t perfect, but still, we had ‘em. And now...”

12.23 All Along the Watchtower

Dean is still mad at Cas for leaving them, but he sets it aside to take care of business: “You know, Cas has faith in this kid. I hope he’s right. But me? I have faith in US. You, me, Mom, Cas. And Crowley, sometimes.”

When Cas is killed by Lucifer, Dean yells out and falls to his knees. Sam runs inside to check on the nephilim, but Dean does not move from Castiel’s side.

[ladywinchester1967]

All I Want for Christmas Is You

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Josie (OFC)

Warnings: FLUFF OF DOOM.

A/N: I never write anything for Christmas....mainly because I’m a Grinch. HOWEVER, one of my favorite writers on here @ravenangel33 wrote THIS AMAZING PIECE that inspired the work below. If ya’ll haven’t checked her out, you need to. She is amazing!! Per usual, unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine, but pics are NOT!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I always dated for love, hell, I did everything for love. I stayed with my ailing parents until they were well because I loved them. I looked after my sick sister when she had a newborn because I loved her and the baby. I moved to the geographical middle of the United States for love. Not the love I ever envisioned mind you; when I pictured Prince Charming, he always had a white horse, a castle in the clouds and a charming smile.

Well, I got one thing right, the charming smile.

At six foot one, with broad shoulders, brown hair, enviable green eyes a reddish brown five o’clock shadow, wearing a canvas jacket, a plaid shirt, jeans and heavy boots; Dean Winchester wasn’t the man I pictured falling in love with. But after he sliced the head of a vampire that nearly ripped my throat out, I couldn’t help but have some kind of affection for the guy.

After the vampire thing and a speech about how monsters were real and that he and his brother hunted them, he took me out for a drink. Which turned into both of us laughing our asses off, which turned into a game of darts.

“All right sweetheart,” he said in my ear “one more shot between a win for me and a loss for you.”

“So cocky,” I said as I lined up my shot “what makes you think I’m gonna lose?”

“Because I can read people,” He crooned “you’re not confident in this shot.”

“Screw you.” I said and took the shot, which hit the bullseye. I laughed while he hung his head in defeat. I celebrated but wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing his cheek. The next thing I knew, we were back at my place, tangled up in the sheets.

I figured that would be the last I saw of him, but for some reason, I felt a connection with him. I knew he felt it too because he kept texting and calling at weird hours.

After a few months of this, I went to visit him at the bunker he and his brother, Sam, called home. Truth be told, it felt more like home than my place ever did. After that first visit, Dean asked me to move in.

“It feels, I don’t know, better when you’re here.” He said.

I agreed, I packed up my few personal items and moved into the bunker.

Five years later, here I was, decorating the bunker for Christmas again, making the post modern era bomb shelter light up with a little Christmas cheer.

“That time of year all ready?” Dean asked as he walked into the war room.

“Dean, Christmas is in two days.” I said from the chair I was standing on as I hung the last of the garland in the library.

“It seems to sneak up on me every year.” He said as he came up behind me.

I turned around as he opened his arms to help me get down. I climbed into his arms as he set me down on the floor, kissing my forehead.

“What do you want for Christmas this year?” He asked as he held me. It amazed me that the hands that could fix up his Chevy Impala in seemingly the blink of an eye, the same hands that cleaned a gum with military like precision, were the same ones that held me so gently and always brushed the stray hairs out of my face.

“The same thing I ask for every year,” I told him as I wrapped my arms around his middle and kissed the hollow of his throat “you.”

“You already have that,” he said “in spades.”

“Then I don’t need anything else.” I told him as I looked up at him. “We have a home, a family we’ve built, food in our bellies and clothes on our backs. What else could I want?”

He shrugged

“I dunno.” He said with a smile.

“Why? What do you want?” I asked him

“Come with me.” he said and took my hand, Walking me over to the Christmas tree. I begged and pleaded for a real tree. In the end, he caved, he couldn’t resist when I did my sad, pouty face.

I followed him over to the tree where it was set up by the stairs. In the light of the glimmering tree, we stood face to face, him holding both of my hands.

“This is what you want for Christmas?” I asked “Just you and me?”

“I want more than that,” he said “I want a life with you. A real life; with a home, a yard and as many real Christmas trees as you want.”

“But, how?” I asked, confused. For the last five years, everything I’d pictured about a normal life had been put on the back burner. The furthest back burner that there was, everything was put on hold for “the greater good”, the good of the world, the good of humanity, the good of everything. He gave me a wry smile and said

“I’m done,” his fingers carding through my hair “I’m tired of putting you in second place. I want to give you the world, I want to give you everything you’ve ever dreamed of. I don’t want to hunt any more.”

“Dean, please don’t,” I started and he cut me off by gently kissing me.

“You’re not asking me to give up anything, you’ve never expected me to give up anything, you’ve always let me be me.” He said ad he cupped my face in his hands “I’m not giving this up because you asked me, hell, Hunting is all I’ve ever known, but I want something more, and I want that something more with you.”

Tears streamed down my face and he quickly wiped them away, he took my hands in his and got down on one knee. “All I want this year is an answer.” He said as pulled a small, black box from his coat pocket as my hand clapped over my mouth that had dropped open in shock.

“Dean!” I said in shock

“Josie,” He said breathlessly as he opened the box “will you marry me?”

Tears poured out of my eyes as I clutched his hand. This wasn’t something I’d ever thought I’d see, the man I loved more than anything else in this world asking me to be his wife. I nodded furiously.

“Yes!” I exclaimed “YES!”

Dean looked relieved as he stood up, wrapped his arms around me and kissing me hard.

“That’s a yes?” He asked

“Yes!” I told him, more tears rolling down my cheeks “Of course I’ll marry you, I love you.”

“Yes?” He asked again and kissed me.

“Yes!” I exclaimed again and he kissed me again. He hugged me hard and we held each other for what felt like a long time as the people from the apocalypse world, Jack, Castiel, Sam, Mary and Bobby all filtered into the room, clapping and offering their congratulations.

“I love you.” He murmured in my ear

“I love you too Dean,” I told him “I love you so much.”

He held up my left hand and slipped the ring on my finger. I looked at it and realized it had the trinity knot on both sides of the diamond.

“Oh Dean,” I breathed “it gorgeous!”

“Look on the band,” he said proudly “it’s got two hands and the setting has a heart, just like your claddagh ring.”

I looked, and true to his word, there were small hands on the same sides as the trinity knot and a heart in the middle.

I cried harder and held him tightly. It was the little things that he remembered, like how important my claddagh ring was to me, that made me fall in love with him. The fact that he knew I always wanted a Christmas proposal, the fact that he was willing to put his entire past behind him for me was enough to make any Christmas wish I’d ever had come true.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hope you guys liked that! Don’t forget to like and share, even leave a comment (I LOVE interacting with you guys!) All my tag lists are open, so if you wanna be part of any of them, feel free to let me know! DON’T FORGET; my live stream will be this time next week!!! If you wanna tune in, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube Channel so you don’t miss out!! Sunday December 2nd at 4:00 EST!

The Squad:

@waywardbaby @waywardnerd67 @familybusinesswritingbro @ain-t-bovvered @mrswhozeewhatsis @girlborninstorms @dacleverfox @emoryhemsworth @bobasheebaby @deanscarlett @myinconnelly1 @mogaruke @imma-winchester-addict​ @purpleskiesandcherrypies​ @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @animerose96​ @l8nit-l0vr​ @drakelover78​ @curly-haired-disaster​ @roonyxx​ @snffbeebee​ @ezilyamuzed​ @mirandaaustin93​ @srsllydunnodoncare​ @latetothewinchesterparty​ @emilyshurley​ @atc74​ @midnightsilverafterdark​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @biawol​ @supernatural-teamfreewillpage​ @spaceystacey123​ @bella-ca​ @clo-heda​ @closetspngirl​ @thekatherinewinchester​ @maddiepants​

Dean/ Jensen:

@spnbaby-67​ @akshi8278​

[elizabethrobertajones]

What do you think a meeting between John and Cas would be like? And if he knew that Dean and Cas had feelings for each other, do you think he'd have more of a problem with the man thing or the angel thing?

Oof this is the sort of question where I down my whole coffee and think about it for 2 hours and I still need to sound things out :P 

I think there’s a few sort of variables to consider even just how we get here because my brain is bubbling with scenarios, like: is this where John is around when Cas is introduced, and how he’d react when everyone is meeting Cas, and he gets a perpendicular arc to Cas and Dean like Bobby got (aka the opposite to Bobby’s adopting of Cas and somewhat knowing looks and pep talks towards the end because Bobby and John would never agree so that dooms John to become more intolerant of Cas n Dean :P)… 

Or does John come back instead of Mary when Mary came back in season 12, so we get his equivalent reactions to Cas, when Mary was somewhat cool if stunned by his presence, but we know she was the pro-angel parent while John thought her ceramic angel was “creepy” in 5x13…

Or is this that John reappears in season 14 and sure only 2 years difference has passed but that’s 2 years of Dabb at the helm and Dean n Cas are practically ready to retire to their B&B in Vermont at this point, just as soon as they get a few weeks of no plot distractions to themselves.

I think we can use Dean from seasons 1-4 as the guide for roughly how John would have felt about angels in general, because John taught the boys all he knew about the supernatural world, and in general Dean mirrors him when it comes to grief about Mary and worldview and other things which were tied up in this complicated mess of angels watching over them. Maybe he didn’t know what Mary said to her boys but he’d have known she was religious and got the angel for them, and so we can just assume his distraught scepticism on the subject is passed down to Dean, and Mary and Sam have more in common with their approach to faith. If John had still been around in the background of season 4 onwards, like, AU where he never died, or they got him back in time, then he’d likely have been just as sceptical as Dean but presumably never been on the personal arc with Cas that Dean has, with a special heap of not getting rescued from Hell by angels annoyance, which could nicely make a scenario where he remains anti-angel while even Dean comes around to how awesome Cas is, leaving a permanent conflict about it. (Honestly I love this scenario just for how Bobby still ends up adopting Dean n Sam out from under John’s nose :P)

In this case I would probably say that his issues would be disguised as the angel thing, but very much a long-form arc about parental acceptance and homophobia using Cas’s otherness as an angel as the metaphor, in just the same way we have the actual arc with Heaven being disapproving of Cas’s friendship/supposed sex life with Dean, with “angels are forbidden to procreate with humans” as the underlying issue instead. 

For scenario 2, if John had been brought back instead of Mary, then again we have a very curious conflict from the start because Mary is reasonably accepting of Cas, perhaps a little dazed by “actual angel” but that’s taking a step down from “so I did a favour for God and his sister, and she brought you back” to accept that her sons have been running around with an angel, and she remembers being in Heaven so that’s another validation to the concept for her. She and Cas have immediate understanding as strangers in a strange land, and by the end of the episode she kills to save both Cas and Dean together which is an implicit nice kind of acceptance for the both of them at least as a metaphoric path forwards.

For John, that first reaction to Cas is going to be instantly more suspicious and probably even if he doesn’t initially find something weird about Cas and Dean embracing like that in front of him, he’s narratively set up to oppose angels like Dean once did, and would probably have been having issues with the God and Amara scenario already, with far less the tearful reunion at the start of the episode and much more distrust of the scenario and a sense of needing to get right back to work and that he was brought back for some reason (I assume that’s why he takes off in episode 3 like Mary did) because John has a bunch of secrets and doesn’t even like telling his sons stuff. It would be far less coincidental that YED reappear in the narrative for the first time since Azazel got killed in the John version of season 12, you know? 

I think a lot of what in 12x01 and 2 played out as Mary Is Family, Cas Is Family Too, Let’s All Be Family But Sad About It, would become far more tetchy and distrustful - John ordering Cas to hurt the guy would be less Mary copying Dean and making inaccurate assumptions about Cas and his role, and more John making similar inaccurate assumptions but from the more alpha male sort of angle. I suspect a lot more competitiveness with Cas, and by 12x03 in the opening where Mary and Cas had the sad quiet conversation about belonging, it may be more aggressive, at least subtextually, to the point that John may be disappointed that Cas is looking after the boys when he’s been unable to and sees his position as the third wheel usurped and that spurs him to take off on whatever he goes to do off-screen for the rest of the season :P 

12x09 and 12x12 would be the clues (er, love confessions) that Cas has a thing for Dean in front of John, and may overtly be to reconcile John to the concept of angels being real and watching over his sons. Considering this is happening in a hypothetical Dabb era where Lily Sunder still happened in between, I’m pretty sure this would not have totally positive effects when it comes to John’s path of accepting Cas n Dean or not, just because we get this reminder that Heaven is so dead set against their union. Would John warm to it as a contrast and *even he* starts to see there’s a value in it and defends it in the equivalent of the Mary Losing One Of Her Boys speech at the end of 12x12 (I assume with a Ketch/Toni flip although honestly what the hell let’s keep season 12 the same and he hooks up with Ketch and surprises himself and everyone else and it all went well and he accepted Cas n Dean back in 12x12 and - this season has completely derailed)

The John Comes Back In Season 14 one will be even more painful for him. Mary has mourned him, got over it, and has a lil crush on AU!Bobby, who, after all, has always been a flipside of John where he was the father figure they needed… This Bobby may not have that history with the boys but our Bobby and John fell out, were at gunpoint odds last time John saw Bobby, and 7x10 implies that might even have been about Bobby nurturing Sam and Dean too much while accusing John of running off endangering them and himself and not giving them time to be boys. Even a mirror universe copy of Bobby who had been with a Mary Campbell who lost John back in the 70s and AU Bobby never met, now making moves on his wife… Well, you got to ask, when you promise “til death do us part” and then you BOTH DIE, is that legally binding contract over? 

So there’s a big old blow to his entire personhood, and then he finds the buckwild family scenario at large that has Sam, who is the SENSIBLE one in this whole mess, parenting Lucifer’s son while smiling too much at the local saucy witch, Dean either a possessed fancy angel or a wreck from having been possessed by said fancy angel, also parenting Lucifer’s son, with a dynamic of an old married couple to a gloomy angel who is, inexplicably, also parenting Lucifer’s son, on the outs with Heaven, and mooning after Dean. 

Also, Mary is parenting Lucifer’s son.

I think I can only see one solid result here: amongst all the tension and falling out with and being upset by every single dynamic he stumbles across while lost and horrified by what everyone has become, losing all connection to his sons and wife, surrounded by changes in their world that his revenge-driven head is not equipped to handle… 

He probably at least ends up confusedly parenting Lucifer’s son and redeeming himself as a parent through that vector and then, perhaps, slowly, to the others.

[shadowfaximpala]

Bring the Wayward Home Tonight

MASTERLIST

Summary: The Darkness released her grip on the world, the bond between you and your brother being her saving grace for humanity; filled with inspiration and compassion she gives you the thing you needed most. But all gifts come with burden...

Warnings: Language, Depression, Drinking, Angst

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Author’s Notes: This will be a short series, I like to write when I travel to work and music is often the source. Let me know what you think so far! I love writing angsty stuff. 

Chapter One: The Gift

Failure. Miserable and complete failure on a grand new scale of epic proportions, even God himself couldn’t stop the darkness. The most unlikely rabble of a team had been assembled to stop her but she had overpowered each and every one of you in a heartbeat.

Chuck snapped all of you back to the bunker to hide away the impending reminder of doom, the sun was dying, the light fading from it’s ethereal essence sat high in the sky like a man on trial in the gallows about to be hung. You glanced a look around the room at the forlorn expressions, hope fading fast. You could sense that everyone had given up, Chuck was dying and with it so was everything in existence.

Dean did the only thing he knew how to do, he grabbed a beer by the horns and chugged it down like a dying person in the sahara with their last sip of water. You eyed your elder twin brother cautiously, before walking past Sam’s protests and grabbing a bottle yourself.

“Fuck it, bottoms up!” You clinked glasses with Dean who passed a knowing glance with you. Sam began glaring at the both of you, his hair bouncing with each shake of his head, his jaw clenched tight.

“I can’t believe you two,” he muttered under his breath.

“Yeah well, we’re out of options here Sammy, whatever you got stuffed up your jacket for plan B then let’s get cracking but quite frankly if this is how we go out, I’d rather be blackout drunk by the time the world actually blacks out, so…” you held the beer up to him as if to feign a toast before necking the remnants of the bottle. You shoved past him, grabbing another bottle and making your way into the war room.

Chuck was in bad shape, he was obviously giving into his fate, as were Crowley and Rowena, this time there was no saving people, no more hunting things. Just darkness. A darkness that had gripped you tight for a long time and now it was time to accept her end.

You plonked yourself down unceremoniously in front of God himself, he eyed you for a second, his face taught, lined with the weight of what was happening, what had been happening now for far too long.

“You still wear that jacket…” His eyes draped over the khaki green clothing that you had barely taken off since that day…

Suddenly your mood shifted to feeling self conscious, you looked down at the jacket that hung on your frame. A soft smile ghosted your lips without you even realising, a smile of happiness mixed with grief.

“You loved him, didn’t you?” Chuck’s voice cut you through like knives. Your eyes shot up to his disheveled appearance, drinking in the expression on his face. He gave you an omniscient smile, one that was smothered in sincerity. “He loved you too,” his eyes grew weary. “I wish I could have brought him back, if I had more time, if I wasn’t dying I would be happy to reunite you both, just know… I always gave you my blessing. I’m glad it was you he chose, no matter how brief the time you spent together.” You hadn’t realised a tear slipped past your eye until you hear the patter of water droplets on fabric. You laughed nervously and wiped your face.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

“Don’t thank me, I’ve been a terrible father, a terrible creator.”

“No, you gave us this life and even though it seems crappy at times, there’s always hope. I always hoped you would answer my prayers when Gabriel died, and even though you never brought him back my memories of him will always be happy ones, even if he killed Dean a hundred times,” Chuck laughed, even with the pain radiating through his body he still seemed to enjoy the idea that humanity was capable of compassion. You were sure that deep in his mind it gave him a little peace in his final hours.

The clock ticked away as silence washed over you, absentmindedly you snuggled into the jacket, the one thing tethering you to the archangel you had hopelessly fallen for all those years ago.

Finally a plan was in motion, Sam had rallied a small spark inspiration within everyone to think their way out of this dire situation. Dean and Castiel had snuck out but swiftly returned to hear out the youngest Winchester.

You were all to gather souls; you and your brothers hightailed it to Waverly Hills Sanitorium to collect whatever rabid souls you could muster. One final hunt before the shit fest hit the fan. When you had returned to the bunker to count the accumulated wealth of power, it wasn’t nearly enough, things were looking bleak until Billie showed up to save the day, gifting you all with a few hundred thousand souls.

______

The cold winds began to bite at your skin as the three of you stood, staring down at your mother's grave. Heartache rushed over you like a tidal wave, but you did what you always did, you swallowed it, pushed it down and buried it deep somewhere it wouldn’t surface. You and Dean made your way over to the group, leaving Sam to stare down at the lonely headstone.

“I could go with you,”Castiel offered to Dean, your twin brother shook his head.

“No, I gotta do this alone,” he assured himself.

“Like hell you are,” you stared into Dean’s forest green eyes, “I’m coming with you,” seconds passed without a word, you expected him to shoot you down immediately, to tell you to look out for Sam. He could see the determination burned onto your face. “Sam will be okay,” you muttered as if seeing the struggle in his mind weighing towards allowing you to accompany him.

“I can’t let yo-” You held up your finger to silence him.

“This isn’t open for discussion Dean... God and Amara, me and you. I know the way this ends, and I’m not letting you go in there alone, I’ve made peace with it in my mind. I suggest you do the same. I won’t get in the way, just let me be there when this ends.”

Dean’s eyes twisted in the corners as they always did when he was burdened with sadness. He pulled you into his frame, his embrace felt heavy but you both knew that the bond between you was a shared one. He nodded as he pulled back to stare into your eyes.

“Stay hidden okay?” He turned to Castiel, asking the angel to watch out for Sam. Cas’ lips were pulled into a tight purse as he frowned but nodded in compliance. Dean reeled off his funeral wants as you joined in.

“I want Metallica playing Ride the Lightning, don’t skip out on me, James Hetfield better be crying!” You saw the horrified look on Sam’s face as he approached. He looked as though his heart had broken a second time that day at the thought of losing his sister, but you and Dean, you came into this world as a pair, you were going out the same way.

Sam shook his head, tears building in his eyes as Dean handed him the keys to baby.

“You know the drill Sammy, you're the third in line,” In that moment neither one could look at each other, you remained silent as you watched the pair reluctantly exchange small words. “No chick flick moments,” Dean warned. Sam snatched the keys from his hand as you shuffled over.

“You love chick flicks,” he tried to joke but it fell on deaf ears, Dean embraced his youngest sibling, grabbing your arm and pulling you into the two towering brothers. The three of you shared a lingering hug before Sam tapped you both on the back, pulling himself away.

Dean held your hand loosely, turning to Chuck before giving him the nod.

“Alright,” he began.

“Let’s do this,” you finished.

Chuck snapped his fingers and the two of you were gone. The world around you both shifted as you descended into a beautifully kept garden. Your eyes fell on the dead flowers that no longer bloomed under the dying sun. You could sense Dean’s unease next to you, you gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go to find a place to hide.

Amara could sniff out the bomb in Dean’s chest instantly as Dean approached her, offering himself to become one with the darkness, she knew you were skittering around in the shadows too. You let out a heavy sigh and revealed yourself from behind a column. You strode confidently next to Dean as he told her that God didn’t want her dead, he couldn’t bear to see her murdered.

“Me and Sam, Me and Y/N,” he gestured towards you, Amara cast her eyes over you, her face wracked with guilt. “We’ve had our fair share of fights, more than our share...but no matter how bad it got, we always made it right.Because we’re family. I need them, and they need me.” You watched as his shoulders dropped a little, like a weight was being lifted slowly. “And when everything goes to crap, that’s all you got. Family!” His voice was hoarse and sharp around the edges as he asserted himself.

Conflict flashed across Amara’s beauty as your brother reasoned with her, her eyes flashed over to you, between the two of you. You were willing to sacrifice yourself alongside your brother to see that Sam had a better future, that the world could remain, she stood from the fountain, you could see the white burning across her knuckles as she gripped onto the stone.

“What do you want?” Dean spoke softly as he repeated his statement.

“I want what you two share,” her voice broke, “I want to be able to mend our bond. The both of you are so different and yet, so alike.” She laughed to herself manically as she took a step closer. “Y/N… You were willing to die for your brother despite everything he has done to you and Sam out of love, why?”

“Because we’re family. I love my brothers, they can be arrogant dicks sometimes,” somewhere in the back of your mind you could almost hear a certain Archangel laugh at your choice of words. “But we share a bond that can never be broken, no matter how dark this world gets, no matter how bleak the days, they are always there for me, when I became a demon they saved me, when I was thrown into Purgatory, Dean made sure we got back alive, got back to Sam. Heck I even killed Dean once, but he forgave me, because that’s what we do, we save each other and we forgive all the bad.”

Amara straightened out the crease in her long black dress as she listened with intent to your words, there was no desperation in them, no plea to end her madness. Just truth.

“Alright,” she nodeed.

Chuck appeared perched on the fountain looking dazed and confused, he looked around for a moment before noticing the three of you stood before him. His first instinct was to jump up in defence but you could see when he looked upon his sister’s face that he relaxed just a little.

Amara relayed her hurt and anger and also her sorrows, her will to repent and start anew with her brother. The sun shone high in the sky, burning brighter than it had ever done before but that dark recess in your heart still flickered away. Chuck pulled the excess souls from Dean, you wished in that moment you could bounce for joy that the day had been saved, but instead you walked away from the happy family reunion, the tug in your heart ached more than ever as God expressed his will to leave earth, his voice echoing in your head. “Earth will be fine. It’s got you, Y/N and Sam…”

“Dean… Y/N…” You stopped in your tracks as Amara’s voice found your ears. “You gave me the thing I needed most, I want to do the same for both of you.” You pivoted slowly on your heel to find the two powerful creators dissipate into an intertwined cloud of light and dark. Confusion washed over the both of you as you now stood alone in the flourishing garden.

Tags: @laneygthememequeen @gabrieltrash @gabrieltrashwrites @thewhiterabbit42 @mkate-writes-things @gettinjoyful

[huntertales]

Part Three: You Can’t Cheat Death. (Two Minutes to Midnight S05E21)

Episode Summary: Sam, Dean and the reader confront Pestilence, but when he unleashes a deadly virus upon them, a very weak Castiel must intervene on their behalf. When reader has a meeting with Death to discuss Lucifer, an unholy alliance is formed at a very high price for the reader and her chances of saving herself from becoming a demon. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 6,785.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

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Slowly, but surely, things were coming to their conclusion. Several months ago you were given the opportunity to see what would happen if the brothers continued to deny their true purpose in life—saying yes to Michael and Lucifer. If they failed to do so, the world would crumble as consequences for their selfish behavior. It started off with the croatoan outbreak that turned people into mindless, bloodthirsty zombies. Then society began to fall apart, turning it into a wasteland that you’d seen in post-apocalyptic films and read in books, thinking those other worlds were just fiction. Something like that could never happen to you. But it was. It was the reality that you could be blamed for in the next five years. And that was only the beginning of this nightmare.

The worst came for the three of you. Dean turned into a shell of a broken man worse than ever, hellbent on revenge. So much so, he would kill the people he once tried to protect. Sam had said yes to the Devil. And somewhere in the mix of things you ran off, turning yourself into a demon. The more you thought about it, you began to wonder if there could ever a happy ending for the people that fought this battle for the greater good. Anywhere you turned, no matter what action you took, the ending was going to be bleak and painful. But, like always, you kept going, trying to change the future to something a little bit better in hope you could have the same for yourself one day.

You made your way down to Bobby's van with another duffel bag filled with ammunition and guns, just a few things that you might need for the adventure you were about to embark on. It was decided that you would ride along with Bobby, Cas and Sam as extra backup. You'd seen the virus close up and personal before. Even though it only required a single bullet to the brain, it wasn’t the humans you were worried about. It was the demons that were going to do just about anything to make sure their precious plan continued on without any bumps that might cause a delay.

You adjusted the strap of the bag as you neared the open van door and got ready to toss in the heavy cargo. But your attention ventured away for a moment and to the angel standing next to the sliding door with a shotgun in his hands and a defeated look on his face. Cas let out a heavy sigh as you tossed the bag, relieving your shoulder of the pain, but it seemed that he had his own that wouldn't leave that easily.

"Hey," You turned your attention to the angel and gave him a concerned look, "What’s wrong? You act like something’s bothering you.”

“This is what they mean by the ‘eleventh hour,’ right?” Cas asked. You shrugged your shoulders and nodded your head. You looked around to see that night had fallen not that long ago, leaving the place in complete darkness besides the lights Bobby had spread around the place. “Well, it’s the eleventh hour, and I am useless. All I have is this. What am I even supposed to do with it?”

“It’s a gun, Cas.” You couldn’t help yourself but let a small smile spread across your lips at how he lifted up his weapon to inspect it before putting it back down to his side. “Point it and shoot. I learned how to use it. So can you.”

Cas didn’t seem to find your advice useful as he shook his head, wanting to spend a few more time sulking in his own misery for a life that he might never get back. “What I used to be—”

“You have done more in these past few months than you ever have as an angel.” You cut him off before he could continue on with this self doubt. You gave him a smile when he looked up at you with that sad, little expression. “I know how it feels to be powerless. And it sucks. It does. But what sucks more is letting yourself sit in your own misery, feeling sorry for yourself when you have a new family that needs you. You didn’t rebel against Heaven for nothing. You did it for a purpose. And that purpose is to kick some ass and save the world.”

"All right. Show's over. Quit pining for the varsity years, you two." Bobby's voice coming from behind you made you look over your shoulder to see that he was wheeling himself over to break this little heartfelt moment that was giving him a toothache. You curled your lips inwards to keep yourself from smiling as you stepped out of the way, giving the man direct path to the opening of the van when you noticed that he was coming over with some extra supplies. The hunter decided to make the angel useful by tossing the bag over to him without warning. "And load the damn van."

You let out a quiet laugh as you began walking back to the house to get some other supplies that you might need. You crossed paths with Cas, who was still holding the bag, watching as Bobby continued on his way without complaint. You placed a hand on the angel's shoulder and gave him a smile, as if to remind him that the hunter who was paralyzed from the waist down was doing more than sitting around and listing all the woes that he had. The five of you worked together to make sure you had all the things you would need on your separate journeys. Dean slammed the trunk of the Impala as Sam tossed in one last bag into the van. You stood in the middle of where the cars were parked. Ever so slowly, you were about to depart on your own mission.

“All right, well,” Dean headed over to where you and his little brother stood. You crossed your arms over your chest and gave him the smallest smile that you could form without showing him your apprehensiveness for this plan. He wasn’t thrilled himself at the idea of running off alone to take Death’s ring, but all of you had to step out of your comfort zones. “Good luck stopping the whole zombie apocalypse.”  

“Yeah. Good luck killing death.” Sam said. The three of you fell into a moment of silence as you let out a quiet breath from how things quickly escalated in just a few short amount of years. The younger Winchester looked around at the people he was surrounded with to see how the journey had shaped them. Along with a new face that he'd never thought would be apart of this family. He let out a quiet chuckle, making you look up at him with a bit of curiosity, wondering what was so funny to him. "Remember when we used to just...hunt wendigos? How simple things were?”

"Remember how much you guys fought tooth and nail to make sure I never turned into a hunter? It was supposed to be that one weekend, the three of us." You added a memory that made you and the boys smile for just a second about how different the dynamics were before. But the happy memory only lasted long as your own happiness. It was quick and short, doomed to be lost in the bitterness of the reality around you. “Felt like a lifetime ago.”

Sam let out the faintest sigh, finding himself caught up in the nostalgic memories of sitting in the Impala with you and his brother, fighting about where their father had been running off to as he dealt with the loss of his girlfriend and life that he created for himself. He thought that was the worst pain he could ever feel. If only he knew. Sam shifted his footing, causing him to feel the cold steel press against his backside, making him realize what he was holding onto.

“Well, um,” The younger Winchester took out the demon knife and handed over to his brother with the wooden handle pointed in his direction. “You might need this.”

“Keep it. Y/N’s covered.”

Crowley was making a habit of coming out from thin air. You nearly jumped out of your skin to see that he was standing right next to Dean with a casual expression on his face. But from what he said, you furrowed your brow and looked at him with a confused expression. He handed over what appeared to be a scythe, something Death himself had been associated with in myths and paintings as a reaper. Instead of being made of a sharp blade on a long wooden stick, the hook was made of what looked like rusty iron kept on a short handle. You stared at the foreign object, wondering why the demon wanted you to take it.

"Come on. It won't bite.” The demon reassured you. You kept your distance from it as you began to wonder why he wanted you to only hold it. “It’s Death’s own. Kills, golly, demons and angels, and reapers, and, rumor has it, the very thing itself. Of course, it comes with very specific instructions. It seems our surly hunter can't save the day. Word on the street says only a true serpent of evil can do the trick.”

“How did you get that?” Cas asked the demon, his eyes lingering around on the scythe you were holding.

“Hello—King of the Crossroads. How the hell do you think I got the bloody grace in the first place? I get hands dirty when I know it’ll benefit me. And if we want to kill Death, we need to have our lovechild to do the deed.” Crowley explained. But you only stared at him with a confused expression that wasn’t leaving your face. Everyone didn't understand what was going on as the demon found himself being bombarded with confused faces. He rolled his eyes from the morons he had to deal with. “Do any of you happen to know someone who's got a badder rep? She's the bloody offspring of a demon and a human. Not to mention, Lucifer's lovechild that he plans on using to destroy humanity. The very thing he hates the most. If anyone can do this, it's Y/N. I don't make the rules. However, I bend them to my own liking.”

You scoffed and looked up at the demon, “So we’re just throwing theories out there and hoping this one will stick?”

“Haven’t been wrong yet, love. Now, since all of this confusion is cleared up, shall we?” Crowley asked, raising his brow as he scanned the crowd. You tightened your grip on the wooden handle as you looked over at Sam, suddenly realizing in that moment there was a change of plans. You could feel your heartbeat pounding faster when you were about to face a challenge that you weren’t sure was going to work. The demon turned his gaze to the older hunter, who continue to occupy his wheelchair that he needed. What Crowley said next seemed like he was being a dick for the purpose of it. “Bobby, you just gonna sit there?”

“No, I’m gonna riverdance.” The hunter retorted back with a sarcastic tone.

“I suppose if you want to impress the lady. But I don’t think she’ll be swooned. You're not exactly her type.” Crowley said as he looked in your direction. Your eyes narrowed in suspicion from how he was acting. “Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Really wasted that crossroads deal. Fact—you get more if you phrase it properly. So, I took the liberty of adding a teeny little sub-a clause on your behalf. What can I say? I’m an altruist. Now, you just gonna sit there?”

Your eyes wandered over to Bobby, who still remained in his chair, slowly wondering if the demon was pulling his legs that he couldn't feel over the past several months. But it seemed that Crowley was smarter than he appeared. You watched as Bobby's right foot began to do something you hadn't seen happen in what felt like forever. Ever so slightly, it began to move until it dropped to the ground. Bobby put some weight on it to see if he could balance himself without falling down. But that was only the beginning. You could feel your mouth parting open as the man easily got up on his own two feet. A smile spread across your face as you stared at the sight, like it was some kind of twisted miracle that you thought would never come.

“Son of a bitch.” Bobby muttered underneath his breath, astonished himself at what he just did all on his very own.

“Yes. I know. Completely worth your soul. I’m hell of a guy.” Crowley said. You glanced over at the boys for a short moment of time. If the demon held up to his end of the bargain like this. You  wondered if he could deliver just as well for yours. Bobby mumbled a thank you with genuine feeling, not only for the ability to be given back something that he never thought he could. But because he could help you and the boys like he’d always wanted. Crowley, however grimaced slightly at all the feelings that were being thrown around. “This is getting maudlin. Can we go?”

Crowley headed for the Impala, deciding to exclude himself on this heartfelt moment. You didn’t care as you stared at the hunter who you could stare at directly in the eye without having to strain your neck looking down. Now he stood a little taller than you remembered. Without giving a warning, you quickly stepped forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and gave Bobby something that you didn't think you ever had the chance to do very often, which was a hug. He’d done so much for you over the past several years, made sacrifices to save your skin too many times. As a wise man said once upon a time, family didn’t end in blood. Bobby was the father you never had, but was gracious enough to treat you like a daughter when you needed it the most.

“Guess there’s a change in plans.” You said as you pulled away from the older hunter. You felt a little bit nervous to being leaving the three men to fight on their own. But you knew damn well they were one of the best hunters around. You let out a quiet sigh and looked over at Sam, a small, nervous smile spread across your lips. “Kick some demon ass for me, okay? And please teach Cas how to shoot.”

"I’ll make sure he gets a good run through. And have fun killing Death." Sam said, returning the smile as he shifted around in his footing again, as if he was trying his hardest to keep the four of you here for a little while longer. You let out a quiet chuckle and looked down at the weapon you held. You slowly grew nervous as your smile began to fade at the challenge that was ahead for you. “When you first hit the road with us, yeah, I was pissed. I thought you weren’t made for the lifestyle. So I gave it a month. Tops. I thought you would grow scared or end up dead.”

“Wow. Thanks for that confidence boost.” You scoffed at the younger Winchester’s words that came off more hurtful than what he intended. “I feel so warm and tingly, Sammy.”

"You didn't let me finish, Y/N." Sam chuckled at your response to only part of what he was trying to say. You looked up at him, wondering what he needed to get off his chest. "But I was wrong. You turned into one of the best hunters I’ve seen in my lifetime. You've got the patience of a saint for dealing with me and Dean. You kept this family together. And if anyone can take down Death, it’ll be you. Shrimp.”

"Sasquatch." You muttered his nickname with a growing smile. For someone that was supposed to have a soul that was black as night, you were having an awful fluxgate of emotions tonight. You waved your hands for him to bend down so you could pull him into a hug since his height was so ginormous compared to your own. You squeezed him tight as you could and closed your eyes for a moment, trying your hardest not to let yourself cry at the thought of doing this for the last time if something went wrong. You squeezed him tighter at the thought, he embraced you closer and let out a quiet breath. The bitter thought crossed his own mind. Before he could pull away, you turned your head, and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Sammy. You're the best friend I could ever ask for."

You didn't realize the little affection that you had given him as Sam pulled away from you, trying his hardest not to show much emotion as he absentmindedly looked over at his brother. Dean stood there with a bit of an annoyed look on his face from how you were acting, but it wasn't due to jealousy, but because of how you had no problems showing your emotions. You stepped over to Cas, deciding that you couldn't leave the angel out of this. You gave him a quick hug and reassured him that he was going to be fine. You let out a breath and stared at the three men, a small smile spread across your lips. For the very last time, you warned them.

“Be safe. And kiss some demon ass for me.”

+ + +

Nine hours stuck in the car with the brothers had its grueling moments. But having a demon as a backseat driver was your own personal hell. You and Dean didn't make any pit stops on your trip to Chicago from Sioux Falls, and the conversation barely made it past small talk. Your mind kept worrying about everything that could go wrong with Sam and Bobby. And whenever you looked at your lap, a rush of anxiety would hit you at the thought of taking down the last horsemen by yourself. Dean would reassure you every so often by taking his hand off the steering wheel and intertwining his fingers with yours before lifting up your palm and brushing his lips against your skin, mumbling that he loved you. While the moment was sweet, it would only be ruined by a snarky remark by your unwanted guest. Who could have easily transported himself there with his abilities. Crowley wanted to sit in the backseat and see the experience for himself.

Luckily the car ride was over, and after parking downtown in the windy city, the three of you had finally arrived. You knew Bobby wasn't lying about there be a storm brewing. The sky was growing darker with clouds and wind was picking up, causing you to wrap your jacket tighter around your body from the unexpected chill that ran down your spine from the temperatures that were low considering the time of the year.

“Hey, let’s stop for pizza.” Crowley suggested out of the blue.

You scoffed and looked at the demon with disbelief at what you heard just come out of his mouth, “I’m on my way to kill Death and you want pizza?”

"Just heard it was good." Crowley said. "That's all."

"You want good pizza? New York has the absolute best, hands down. Each year I went to the city as a kid and made sure to eat at a new restaurant each time. I ate so much one year I almost got sick.” You carried on the conversation without much thought, as if just being around Crowley this past week had turned casual. You looked away from the demon and to where you were walking. But you suddenly found yourself stopping in your tracks at what you saw. Dean furrowed his brow and looked at you with concern. “Up ahead. Big, ugly...building.”

“Ground zero. Horsemen’s stable, if you will.” Crowley said, staring at the same scene that had spooked you a bit. The last time you had seen this was back in Missouri, the town where Ellen and Jo had died. Not to mention, the entire population slaughtered for Lucifer’s sake of pulling Death free from his own personal cage. “He’s in there.”

"How do you know?" Dean cautiously asked, his eyes scanning what appeared to him as an empty street abandoned by a single soul besides his own. "Have you met me?" Crowley responded. “‘Cause I know.”

You rolled your eyes and looked away from the twenty pairs of eyes that seemed to fixate on you. Like they knew who you were and what you were intended to do. None of them moved, they just stared at you with their emotionless and cold expression. "The block is crawling with reapers. There's at least twenty of them."

"I'll be right back." Crowley said. You turned your head to look away from the reapers and at the demon as he began to take a step forward before disappearing from sight. You let out a sigh and got yourself mentally ready for what was about to come in the next few minutes. But the demon worked faster than you gave him credit for when he appeared just a second later, standing right behind you and Dean with some disheartening news. "Boy, is my face red. Death's not in there." "You want to cut the cute and get to the part where you tell us where he is?" Dean asked, not in the mood for whatever kind of games the demon had in mind. "Sorry." Crowley shrugged. "I don't know."

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.” The oldest Winchester stormed over to the demon who was starting to casually walk away from a dead end. He grabbed the man by his shoulder and made him stop in his tracks. “You don’t know?”

“Signs pointed.” Crowley said, trying to defend himself best as he could to you and Dean. “I’m just as shocked as you are.”

The demon began walking again, thinking it would be the end of the conversation. But he only managed to make it a few feet before you reminded him of a deal that he had yet to hold his end up. "Bobby sold his soul for this, you son of bitch!"

“Relax. No need to resort to name calling. All deals are sold back or store credit.” Crowley said. You narrowed your eyes as you let out a sharp breath for his cheap excuse that he thought could hold you over. “We’ll catch Death in the next doomed city.”

“Millions, Crowley.” You called out to him, making the demon stop himself from taking a step to remind him how much was at stake here. “Millions of people are about to die at any minute.”

"Demon with a heart of gold. How refreshing. While it's sweet to see that you've got a bit of humanity left in you, let me remind you, you're not immortal." Crowley said. "If you want to reap Death, which I know you do, I strongly suggest we get out of here. Or the roles will be reversed. We’ll be out of options and the world will be doomed. All thanks to you.”

You clenched your fists and tried your hardest to control your anger from lashing out at the demon. And it was more than just speaking a few nasty words. You tempted yourself away from killing him right here in this warehouse parking lot. No. His time would come a little bit later. Just like the rest of these poor souls, he would never know what hit him.

+ + +

You leaned back in your seat and shut your eyes to try and fight this headache that was starting to form in the front of your head. Your stress level had never been this high before, and your anger was boiling inside your body slowly, clawing at your insides like a wild animal, demanding your attention. You pressed your eyelids tighter together and let out a long, drawn out sigh. As you got yourself starting to concentrate on something peaceful, you found yourself being able to loosen your muscles and the pounding inside your head going away just the slightest. But it was only brought back by the feeling of the Impala shaking from Dean’s weight when he threw himself down to the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut.

“So, what? Call in a bomb threat? Thousand bomb threats? I mean, how the hell am I supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next ten minutes?” Dean asked. You didn’t respond as you rubbed your temples with your fingers. The hunter looked around to see that you were ignoring him as Crowley disappeared from the backseat. “Come on!”

“Is he gone?” You opened up one eye to see the demon was in fact gone. You pushed yourself up right in your seat and let out another sigh from everything that was going on. When you were about to suggest the idea of making a run for it, you stopped yourself. You furrowed your brow to see that Crowley didn’t make it that far. He stood outside of what appeared to be an Italian pizza place and tried to get your attention by pointing at the door and saying something you couldn’t understand. “Either he really wants pizza...Oh my God. What? We can’t hear you!”

“I said I found him. Death—he’s in there.” Crowley popped himself into the backseat, not taking you by surprise this time. You looked over your shoulder to see the demon was pointing his finger at the restaurant he was just standing next to. You slowly looked away from him and to the man sitting next to you. The both of you nodded your heads before you reached for the door handle. But before you embarked on your last hunt for the rings, Crowley offered a word of advice. "When I said Y/N is the only one that could do this, I meant it. She has to do it alone.”

You were tempted to ask him what would happen if Dean would join you to meet Death, but the demon vanished from your sight again. The two of you stepped out from the Impala and onto the city streets that were starting to grow thinner as rain began to fall from the sky and wind picked up. A crack of thunder could be overheard as you made your way around the car to join Dean. You let out a quiet sigh and looked over at the man. Dean looked at you with a worried expression at where he had to leave you. You tried to give him a smile of reassurance, but you ended up nervously swallowing, knowing it was hard to hide your fear for what you were about to do all on your own. It was Dean who always handled the big monsters.

Dean reassured you by leaning over and pressed his lips against yours, getting you lost for a moment in passion as he kissed the breath out of your lungs. You pulled away when you heard another roll of thunder, as if it was a warning to get moving. “Sammy was right. If anyone can take down Death, it’s you. You’ve cheated it enough times.” Dean said with a smirk. You smiled ever so slightly at his joke, but you still remained quiet. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you, too.” You whispered to him.

The both of you gave one another a kiss before you pulled him away, warning him to run for the hills if things happened to go south. You inhaled a deep breath and pressed your hand against your backside to feel the scythe where you had left it. It was time to kill Death.

You crossed the street and found your way into the back alley, no demons greeted you as you pulled out the scythe. This was the moment you'd been dreading. You used all your skills you'd learned from the brothers when you opened up the door that lead into the restaurant. You stopped breathing when you opened the door inch by grueling inch and stepped inside on the black and white checkered floor. From first glance the restaurant was cute. It had a little "Lady and the Tramp" vibe with the dark wooden furnishing and tables decorated with red checkered cloths paired with candles. But what made you come crashing down to reality was the dead body of a young woman slumped behind the counter with a tilted over bottle of whiskey. She was his first victim.

You shut the door behind you and started to make your way forward to see the sight ahead of you. Dead bodies were sprawled everywhere; from a waitress lying face flat on the floor to customers slumped over their tables and into their food. It seemed that Death didn’t like to dine alone. You tightened your grip on the handle as you slowly made your way forward, each step was precise and quiet as possible when you descended forward to the front of the restaurant and saw him sitting there.

Death sat quietly at a table, enjoying the view of people power walking through the streets with their umbrellas that soon would be useless as the sky illuminated with lightening. You nervously swallowed again and took one step forward again, your feet moving in front of you until you were at least twenty feet away from him. You didn’t seem to notice how the handle was growing warmer with each step you took to get closer to the owner of the scythe. You ignored the burning feeling best as you could until it felt like you put your hand on a hot stove. You looked down to see the handle was growing bright orange and threatening to burn your skin if you didn’t let go. You forced yourself to, not realizing the heavy metal would fall straight out of your hands and land on the floor, with the loudest clanking sound as possible.

“Thanks for returning that.” You quickly looked down at the floor to see that the scythe was gone and now at the table where Death sat. “Join me, Y/N. The pizza’s delicious.” It was a friendly offer, but you had a feeling it wasn’t negotiable. You inhaled a deep breath and continued down on your way to meet Death. He sat quietly at the table, enjoying a late lunch. He didn’t look up when he gave you one more command in a calm tone for you to sit. You did as you were told, sitting yourself across from the last horsemen that remained. “Took you long enough to find me. I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

“I gotta say—mixed feelings about that.” You tried to hide your nervousness by cracking a joke that wasn’t even funny, but you chuckled anyway and flashed him a smile. Your eyes wandered down to his ring that laid on his right hand. The reason why you were here in the first place. “So, is this the part where...you kill me? Because, I gotta warn you, it won’t end well.”

Death placed down his utensils at each side of his plate and finally looked up at you. You began to mentally beat yourself up for saying something that made you sound pretentious when you meant something completely different.

“I know what you meant, Y/N. You die, Lucifer goes back to the cage. If only it were that simple. But, still. You have an inflated sense of your importance. Yes, you’re one of a kind. Something I have never had the pleasure of seeing up close before. It’s nothing of spectacular amazement. Why, to a thing like me, a thing like you, well…” Death reached out to to grab his drink and took a sip. You furrowed your brow when he started to slurp loudly, getting the last of his beverage before continuing on the conversation. “Think how you’d feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky.”

“Well, I’d be amazed.” You said, keeping up what luck you had to make a sarcastic joke that you meant as you gave the horsemen a tight smile. “I’d ask him how it felt to be so powerful. I mean, he's the cause of diseases that keep you in business. He might be small, but it doesn’t mean that he’s insignificant at destroying millions of lives.”

“Listen with your ears, Y/N. You have a lot to learn about the cycle of life. This is one little planet in one tiny solar system in a galaxy that’s barely out of its diapers. I’m old, Y/N. Very old. So I invite you to contemplate how unfunny and insignificant I find you.” Death said. It seemed the horsemen could feel a tension forming between the two of you. He decided to offer you a slice of pizza when he put one on your plate and nodded his head. “Eat.”      

You stared at that piece of pizza. It was raining outside, storming harder than you had ever heard in your entire life. Millions of people were about to die...and here you sat, enjoying a slice of pizza with Death. You tempted yourself as you grabbed the slice from the table and sank your teeth into the food. You began to chew it slowly and looked at the horsemen, waiting for him to pull a trick on you, make you choke on your food or something. But there he sat raising his fork to his mouth and arched a brow, as if he knew how good it was. You swallowed the bite with ease and put the slice back down to the plate.

“Well, I got to ask.” You said. “How old are you?”

“Old as God. Maybe older. Neither one of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg.” Death said, not seeming to be bothered at the facts as he cut himself another small bite of food. “Regardless—at the end, I’ll reap him, too.”  

“God?” You repeated what you had just heard, suddenly as if it he was speaking another language you’ve never heard before. “You’ll reap God?”

“Oh, yes.” Death reassured you. “God will die, too, Y/N.”

You let out a breath as you looked around the room, not sure if you wanted to laugh or start crying again from what you landed yourself into. “Well, this is way above my paygrade.”

“Just a bit.” Death agreed.

“So, then why am I sitting here with you?” You questioned the horsemen. “What do you want?”

“The leash around my neck—off. Lucifer has me bound to him. Some unseemly little spell. He has me where he wants, when he wants. That’s why I couldn’t go to you. I had to wait for you to catch up.” Death said. You felt your brow tighten slightly at the situation that was becoming more clearer. “He made me his weapon. Hurricanes, floods, raising the dead. I’m more powerful than you can process, and I’m enslaved to a bratty child with a temper tantrum and a wild imagination.”

“And you think…” You trailed off for a moment. “I can unbind you?”

“There’s your ridiculous bravado again. Of course you can’t. But you can help me take the bullets out of Lucifer’s gun.” Death said. Your eyes wandered down to his right hand when he pushed himself forward and placed his elbow on the table, showing off his ring. “I understand you want this. I’m inclined to give it to you.”

You raised your brow at how he worded it, “Give it to me? How thoughtful.”

“That's what I said.” Death responded.

While you could feel a bit of the boulder that had been sitting on your chest lift itself, you couldn't help but think about what was going on around you when you heard another roll of thunder and bolt of lightning illuminate the restaurant. "What about Chicago?"

“I suppose it can stay. I like the pizza.” Death said, deciding to be generous today. You let out a small breath and felt a bit of a smile grow on your lips. The horsemen ever so slowly began to remove his ring for you, and while it stood in armsreach, he withheld it from you. “There are conditions.”

“I’ve learned with every deal I make there is.” You said.

“These are different, Y/N. You have to do whatever it takes to put Lucifer in his cell. Whatever it takes.” Dean explained. You nodded your head slowly, thinking that was the plan, but it seemed he thought that it was too close to call it such a thing. “Sam. Dean’s brother. He’s the one that can stop Lucifer. The only one. And before you ask, I know. But there are things keeping him from making the leap. Certain people holding him back.”

You swallowed, not wanting to ask. “Who?”

“You, of course. It's always been about you. You were the reason Lucifer was unrightfully set free in the first place and started this whole mess. It's bothered you all your life that you were brought into this world for the sole purpose to see it destroyed at your sake of just breathing. But you want a different purpose for your sad, dark little life. And this is it. One person has to fulfill their role to make sure the world sees better days.” Death said. You slowly looked over at him, your stomach tightening up from what you heard him say next. “You want to save the world? Give yourself to Lucifer. It will be the reason Sam jumps into the fiery pit. Because he think it'll save you.”

“Will it?” You couldn't help yourself but ask the question that had been burning in the back of your mind. You swallowed as you found yourself growing eerily silent and staring at the ring which took you months to finally get. You wondered if what Gabriel had said was true. "If he does jump...if I let myself turn into a demon. Is there a chance I could go back to normal?"

"Who's to say. 'These violent delights, have violent ends.'" Death took a quote from the infamous play of Romeo and Juliet to answer your question, but you felt yourself puzzled even more at what he meant. “You and I both want the same thing, Y/N. To be free of our ball and chain.”

Seven billion people or one person? You let out a nervous breath at the thought of choosing one person that you cared so much for the sake of humanity. He wanted to do it anyway. What's wrong with indulging into a part of you that you wanted to have a taste for after all this time? And you had the grace. Gabriel said it might work. It might. Those two words made you stared at the ring for another few seconds more. What if you couldn't go back? What if this was the step to the future that you had been fighting so hard to stay away from? But if you said no...you would turn into a demon somehow. You would join Lucifer, and in five years, on that fateful night after he used his friends as bait, you would find him once again. And you would use the heel of your shoe to break his neck like a twig. You stared at the ring for a few seconds longer. You knew your decision. But you didn’t want to say it just yet, afraid that he might not believe you.

"Well, do I have your word?"

You outstretched your arm as the other snuck underneath the table so he wouldn’t see. Sam wanted to do this for you. It was only for a little while. The world will be safe, you and Dean could live a life that you never dreamed of. You could keep lying to yourself, but crossed your fingers together, hoping he wouldn't notice when you did it to him. "Yes." 

“That had better be ‘Yes,” Y/N. You know you can’t cheat death. Not this time.” A look of panic was about to spread across your face from Death’s haunting threat, making you think that he had almost caught onto your childish ways. But you felt a sigh of relief hit you when you felt the weight of his ring hit your palm and the rain quietly began to let up outside. “Now, would you like the instruction manual?”

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[olivialourdefanfic]

Supernatural Fan Fic, Installment 18: The Vessel

(S11X14, “The Vessel”. Sophia and Dean have been secretly having an affair, while Sam is struggling with the emotional fallout of Lucifer’s stroll down memory lane. He has become almost obsessive in his drive to stop Amara, because he believes now that the responsibility falls on him. At this point, Sophia is strong, but unpredictable. She vacillates between violent and angry, and weak and sad. While she is trying a little bit to repair her relationship with Sam, she and Dean fight against how they feel for each other, feeling times are too dangerous for these attachments.)

Sophia: Dean, about Valentine’s Day…

Dean: Look, Sophia, you don’t owe me anything. It was what it was. We shouldn’t… we CAN’T let it be more than that.

Sophia: Took the words right out of my mouth, honestly.

Dean: I was always good at that, wasn’t I?

Sophia: Still are.

(They stare at each other for a long moment. Dean slams Sophia against the wall, lifting her into him and kissing her. They escalate to the point of losing their clothes, and Dean lands on top of her in his bed.)

Dean: We really need to stop doing this.

Sophia: I’d like to believe that we can stop at any time.

Dean: So let’s stop.

(They stop. Dean sits up, resting his feet on the floor beside his bed. Sophia is staring at the ceiling, pulling her shirt back on. She sits up, crossing her legs and facing him.)

Sophia: What’s wrong?

Dean: I keep trying to convince myself that we need to stop doing this. That we need-… I don’t even know what we need anymore, Sophia.

(Sophia puts a hand on his shoulder.)

Sophia: This is the one thing we feel in control of. We’re in a world where we don’t know what the enemy is doing. One minute, she’s a child. The next, a full-grown woman. I’m sick one day, I’m powerful the next. This is our way of taking control.

Dean: I don’t even know why you’d still want me after everything I’ve done to you. I’ve been nothing but poison and heartache for you, honey.

(Sophia eyes his broad shoulders and the muscles of his neck lustily.)

Sophia: Maybe I like the abuse.

Dean: Is that what this is?

Sophia: Not to me.

Dean: Maybe we both like it. Maybe we’re both addicted to the cycle. Maybe we keep coming back because we know it’s good and we know we’ll always be there.

Sophia: I’d like to think neither of us are here for that, Dean.

Dean: I wasn’t totally honest with you and Sam about the qareen. It appears as your deepest, darkest desire.

Sophia: I know. I’m not so naïve, Dean.

Dean: I know you’re not. It didn’t exactly appear as Amara. It did, at first. It scared the hell out of me. I knew it wasn’t her, but then you came in.

Sophia: What are you talking about? I wasn’t there. I was upstairs with Sam the whole time, Dean.

Dean: I know you were. It wasn’t you. The qareen, Sophia. It turned into you. You killed Amara and then you came after me.

(Sophia is stunned.)

Sophia: Wow. I get it.

Dean: You do? Because I’m totally lost here.

Sophia: You want me to kill her. That’s your deepest, darkest desire.

Dean: That actually makes a lot more sense. I’ve been agonizing over it, Sophia-

(Sophia suddenly becomes angry, and she stands up, pulling herself together in a rage. Dean is whiplashed at her mood swing.)

Sophia: No, I get it. You know you can’t kill her. Something has a hold on you with her. I get that. But you don’t want the sole responsibility to fall on Sam. It’s a huge weight, and he’s your brother. He shouldn’t have to carry it. He wouldn’t have to if he’d just listened to me in the first place.

(Dean is forlorn.)

Dean: I just don’t want anything to happen to him.

(Sophia pulls on her jacket, incensed. A few books fly off Dean’s bookcase from her rage, and Dean ducks.)

Sophia: So me. It’s the easiest option. I’m getting more control every day. I’m getting stronger. When the time is right, just send me, right? That way, you Winchester boys don’t have to get your hands dirty, even though you made this mess in the first place.

(Dean stands up, reaching for Sophia to hold her, which is what he really wants.)

Dean: Sophia, babe-

(Sophia jerks away, nearly tossing Dean into the wall on accident. Her eyes are filling with tears, but he misses them.)

Sophia: Don’t worry about it, Dean. Message received. I’m just your goddamn hammer, the way I’ve always been.

(She leaves, slamming the door so hard that it pops off its hinges. Dean picks himself up to the sounds of her retreating, and the pain in his eyes carries real weight.)

 (Sam and Dean have been giving Sophia space, but they need help translating Henshaw and Delphine’s correspondence. Sam knocks on her door.)

Sophia(from inside): What?

Sam: Hey, we need your help. Is it okay if I come in?

(Sophia opens the door without lifting a finger. Sam hands her the text.)

Sophia: What is this?

Sam: Hopefully, a lead on finding something to help us defeat Amara. You know what a Hand of God is?

Sophia: Yeah, of course. Allegedly, there’s only a few left- Delphine Seydoux. Okay.

Sam: Please tell me you can read French.

Sophia: It’s my fourth language, but once you learn one Romance language, they’re all the same. Give me some time.

(Sam kisses Sophia on the mouth, truly grateful.)

Sam: Thank you. Thank you so much.

Sophia: Easy, Slick. Mind your space.

(Sophia walks past him and out to the study. She grabs a pen and paper and begins translating.)

 (Dean runs into Sophia in the kitchen. She’s silent and sullen, but he slides his hands on her shoulders and rubs her shoulder blades gently. He tilts his head down to her neck, gently kissing the vein on the side of her neck. She rolls her neck, and within seconds, she’s turned around and has jumped into his arms to kiss him.)

Dean: Sam told me you really came through translating. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry about the other-

Sophia: Shut up, Dean. We only have a few minutes.

(She pulls him in to kiss her, and he obliges lustily. His hands slide all over her body, her hands on his cheeks and in his hair. After an incredibly hot and passionate moment, they separate. Dean grabs them beers, and she follows him back to Sam.)

 (Sam is disheartened to discover the ship was lost. Sophia listens quietly.)

Sam: Great. It’s lost.

Dean: Or is it?

Sam: I’d say so. I mean, tides took the wreckage. Submersibles have been trying to locate it for years. I mean, if James Cameron and his “Avatar” billions can’t find it…

Dean: Yeah, but… We have something that James Cameron doesn’t have.

Sophia: Nothing to compensate for?

(Sam looks at Sophia, then looks at Dean.)

 (Casifer has joined them, and Sophia is looking at him suspiciously. She can tell something is off.)

Casifer: Is something wrong?

Sophia: Not yet, but the day is young.

Casifer: I can get you back there.

Sam: Without wings? Cas, you can’t even teleport.

Casifer(lying, Sophia can tell): Time travel, it’s a whole different system.

Dean: Told ya!

Sam: Wait, aren’t there still risks with time travel? Aren’t there consequences…

Dean: Sam… This is the ideal scenario.

Sam: What?

Dean: That sub’s a tin can floating in the middle of the ocean, doomed to go down. You can’t really mess with history at 20,000 leagues. So we get in, get the weapon, get out. It’s a milk run.

Sam: That’s not a very good plan.

Dean: Well, if things get out of hand, then Cass’ll just zap me right back.

Sam: You?

Dean: You’re not going.

Sam: I beg your pardon?

Dean: You need to stay here.

Sam: Stay here?

Dean: Just in case things go sideways, somebody needs to be left standing to take care of the Darkness. We can’t risk us both, and at the moment, I’m the least valuable player. You all know that I can’t kill Amara, so the least I could do is get the thing that we need so you can.

Sam: So you expect me to sit here and ride the pine while you and Cass go play Jules Verne?

Dean: Yes.

Sophia: No.

(Everyone looks at her. She’s staring at Casifer, but not in the way she usually does. Sam and Dean don’t pick up on it, but Casifer can see that she doesn’t trust him now. He does his best impression of Castiel to keep up appearances.)

Casifer: I won’t let him out of my sight.

Sophia: Neither of you are going it alone. I’m going with you. You need all the help you can get, and you need all the power you can get. I’ve got plenty and I’m bored as hell.

(Sam looks at them in disbelief.)

Sam: You’ll stay by his side the entire time?

Casifer: I will.

Sophia: You can handcuff them to me if you want.

Dean: Sam… let me do this. Okay? I need to do this.

(Sophia catches Casifer breaking character, but he misses her gaze. She narrows her eyes.)

Sam: Be safe.

Dean: When am I not? (Sam scoffs, and Dean and Sophia stand, coming close to Casifer.) Let’s do this, guys. (looking at Sam, taking Sophia’s hand) Bon voyage.

 (Dean has jacked someone’s uniform and they are trying to make their way out.)

Dean: Wait, we can’t just walk around the sub together like this. Can you go invisible still?

Sophia: Don’t worry, I already am. Only you and Delphine can see me until I say otherwise. Come on.

 (Dean and Sophia finally find Delphine. Delphine immediately senses that Sophia is not human and instinctively knows not to mess with her, though Delphine herself is just a human.)

Delphine: Who are you?

Dean: Delphine… You might find this hard to believe, but…

(Delphine kicks Dean, barely missing Sophia. She pins him back against the wall, knife to his throat.)

Delphine: Not a soul on this ship knows my name, so I repeat, who are you?

Sophia(cocking her gun to Delphine’s head): I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I kill for less.

(Delphine steps back, lowering her knife.)

Dean: I’m a friend of Clifford Henshaw. I’m a Man of Letters.

(2 soldiers enter, and Sophia is still unseen.)

Petey: That’s him! That’s the guy. Captain.

(The Captain orders Dean searched. Sophia is standing back with Delphine watching her. The soldiers think she is talking to Dean, but she is really talking to Sophia.)

Delphine: You are Men of Letters?

Sophia: Not me. I’m a witch.

Delphine: That’s not possible. The ship is warded-

Sophia: My kind is impervious to your warding, no matter how powerful it is. There’s nothing that could have kept me off this ship, Delphine Seydoux.

(The soldiers find Dean’s phone. Delphine inspects it. She is beginning to believe them. When Captain Dearborn is told that a German ship is approaching, Sophia appears next to Dean. The other 2 soldiers gasp.)

Petey: What just happened?!

Sophia: Sorry, but there’s no time. My name is Sophia Blackwood, and I can kill everyone on this sub if I choose to. You should know that before you make any moves. I am not human, I am not of your world, and I cannot die. If you shoot me, nothing will happen, and the last thing you will hear is your neck snapping as I kill you.

Captain Dearborn: Why are you here?

Sophia: We are here for a purpose. This man here, Dean Winchester, is my responsibility, and it’s imperative that I make sure he gets what we came for. We don’t have time for this. Delphine, listen to me. What you have, it’s what we came for.

Delphine: The sigil- it was supposed to protect me from supernatural interference.

Dean: -And angelic interference.

Delphine: Angels aren’t real.

Dean: Actually, angels ARE real. One is our ride back. Look, the warding you put up to block any magic, it must have blocked him, too. I cleared the one. If there’s any more, we gotta clear those, too. Otherwise, she and I are stuck here.

(Sophia’s arms are crossed and her eyes are narrowed at Petey.)

Sophia: And the longer I spend here, the more violent I’ll get.

Dean: Delphine, you wanted the weapon to be at a Men of Letters safe house, right? We live in the bunker. That’s how we found you, from your communication with Henshaw. Now, if you clear the way, we can get it there for you.

Sophia: Sooner rather than later.

Delphine: And that’s why you came, to protect the object, the weapon?

Petey: Who’s the next President? You’re from the future!

Sophia: Can I hit him?!

Dean: Eisenhower- no, Truman. Now shut up! No, this sub is going down. But, the Allies to do win. But, from Man of Letters to Man of Letters? We’re fighting a war in the future. It’s not like your war. It’s big, biblical, end-is-nigh big, and I need your weapon to win. THAT is why we came.

Petey: But we all die? Me, the girl, the rest of the crew? I’m just trying to get your story clear.

Dean: Yes.

(Sophia softens a little bit. She steps closer to him, waving a hand in his direction.)

Sophia: It won’t hurt.

Dean: Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, especially coming from strangers.

Delphine: You’re not a stranger. “Man of Letters to Man of Letters”. I trust you.

 (Delphine opens the box.)

Sophia: We came all this way for that? Seriously?

Dean: THAT’S the Hand of God? Doesn’t look like much.

Delphine: No, I suppose it doesn’t. It must have been more impressive in its complete form- The Ark of the Covenant.

Dean: Oh, so full on “Raiders”.

(Delphine looks confused until she sees Sophia rolling her eyes at Dean. She laughs, liking their chemistry.)

Delphine: You say you are responsible for him, yet you treat him like a lover. Which is it?

(Sophia stares at Dean, who is staring at her. She doesn’t lie.)

Sophia: Both. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him. His brother is back in our time, waiting for Dean to bring this back, and for me to bring Dean back. Our ride can’t get on here unless you ditch the sigils, Delphine. It’s the only way to get the weapon out of here safely now.

(Dean reaches for the Hand of God, but Delphine stops him.)

Delphine: Don’t touch it! No mortal can survive long with direct contact. I’ll remove the warding. I’ll be back. Promise.

(Sophia springs into action.)

Sophia: Sorry, Delphine, I’m not letting you out of my sight.

(Dean grabs Sophia’s hand.)

Dean: You promised Sam you wouldn’t let me out of your sight.

(Sophia smiles humorously.)

Sophia: Don’t worry. Huey here isn’t going to touch you.

(Petey looks confused. He doesn’t know who Huey is, because it doesn’t exist yet.)

Petey: My name’s Petey…

(Sophia follows Delphine. While Delphine is scratching off the warding, she eyes Sophia.)

Delphine: What are you?

Sophia: I’m a witch. Not a human one, not anymore, and not for some time.

Delphine: How long have you not been human?

Sophia: Long enough.

Delphine: Were you alive in my time?

Sophia: No. I was born well after.

Delphine: And him? He is immortal, too?

Sophia: No. He’s a human man.

Delphine: You love him.

Sophia: That’s a strong word for it.

Delphine: But it is the right one. I see the way you look at each other, Sophia. He loves you deeply. That look he gave you when I referred to you as lovers… it gave him joy.

Sophia: I bet it did.

Delphine: He is not only interested in your body, Sophia- he wants your heart. He wants you have his, but you won’t accept it.

(Sophia stares at the floor. She swallows uncomfortably.)

Sophia: You got all that from one look, huh?

(Delphine stands up.)

Delphine: Come. There is one more.

 (Delphine and Dean are hashing out their options. Sophia is silent until Dean says he wants to help the sub now.)

Sophia: Dean.

(Dean looks at her, and Sophia sees the look in his eyes.)

Dean: Is there anything you can do?

Sophia: I can make sure everyone’s death is painless. You’ve seen what happens when we mess with history, Dean.

Delphine: You have done this before?

Sophia: Well, sort of. A friend of mine unsunk the Titanic once, but it didn’t go well. Listen, Dean, accept it. This sub is a goner, as is everyone on it. The only thing I can do is make sure no one on it suffers.

Dean: How do we get out of here?

Sophia: We need Castiel back. He’s our ride. I can’t do it. I don’t know the terrain. I’ll land us back in the 1400s for all I know.

 (Delphine uses the Hand of God, and even Sophia is stunned. Casifer appears just in time, and Sam looks up to see the three of them together in the room.)

Sam: Guys… That’s not Cass!

(Sophia slams her hand onto Casifer’s chest, pulling out the information she needs. A deep noise comes from low in her throat, and Dean moves away from them.)

Sophia: I knew it. I knew it was you. How dare you. You lying sack of-

Dean: Sophia, who is it?!

(Sophia faces Casifer. He smiles at her dangerously and slams Dean into the wall. Her eyes narrow, and he reaches for the Hand of God.)

Sophia: Lucifer. He said “yes” to you?!

Casifer: Don’t feel too bad, Sophia. For once, Sammy said no. Cas was the good boy who said yes. I mean, who could blame him? He was probably dying for a goddamn break from you.

Sophia: Shut up. Let him go, Lucifer.

Casifer: We have a common enemy, you brat. You’ll never ice Auntie Amara without me.

Sophia: You wanna bet the whole farm on that, Lucifer?

Casifer: Look at you, Sophia! You can barely function on your own! You think you’re going to take on God’s SISTER, and win?! Don’t be such a child.

Sophia: Look, let’s just talk about this, okay? Let’s leave Dean and Sam and-

Casifer: Why? Because you don’t think anyone will figure out what’s going on here?

Sophia: Okay. What’s going on here, Lucifer?

Casifer: It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna kill Dean and Sam before this is all over, anyway, so who really cares which one of them you’re banging this week?

(Sophia’s power lashes out, slamming Casifer against the wall. She is calm, in control, and powerful. She looks at Casifer with a calm violence emanating from her. Her hand is held out, and her hand casually twists the pain inside, hurting him, causing no damage to Castiel or his vessel.)

Sophia: Like I said… You wanna bet the farm on that?

(Sam and Dean are shocked. This is the first time that Sophia has revealed that she has more control over her power than she previously demonstrated. She is frighteningly calm; even Lucifer is scared of her.)

Casifer: This is how strong you are now?

Sophia: I’m just getting started.

(A quarter turn of her wrist, and Lucifer is gasping for air and bleeding. Sam has already cut himself and is drawing the sigil.)

Sam: Sophia. Do we need him to ice Amara?

Sophia: He may be helpful.

Sam: Let him go.

Sophia: No. He’s MY bitch now.

Sam: Sophia, let him go. We need to keep him strong if we need him.

Sophia: We can’t hold him here. I can’t watch him 24/7, and your dungeons won’t hold the Devil himself for long.

Casifer: Well, you’re right about that.

(Casifer reaches out along her line of power, snapping her back on the floor. He holds her down, lowering himself on top of her. He punches her in the face, but only once, because he doesn’t have the heart to truly hurt her.)

Sophia: Get off me.

Casifer: It could all be so simple…

(Casifer caresses her cheek with his hand. She kicks him off her, and as he stands up to come for her again, Sam slams his hand over the angel banishing sigil, blasting Casifer far away.)

 (Outside on the pier, Sophia is sitting alone, her feet dangling off the side, completely inconsolable. Dean drops down next to her, discreetly letting his hand land on hers. She flinches, but intertwines their fingers together.)

Dean: What did Delphine say to you? You’ve been off ever since you went off together.

Sophia: I don’t want to talk about it.

Dean: Not even with me?

Sophia: Please, Dean.

(Dean is silent, watching her.)

Dean: Okay. Whatever you want.

(He gets up, walking away to sit in silence somewhere else. Sam finds them each off on their own, and heads to Sophia first.)

Sam: Hey.

Sophia: Hey.

Sam: Soooooo… Cass, huh?

Sophia: Yeah.

Sam: Look, I’m here if you want to talk.

Sophia: Sam, please stop.

Sam: Stop what?

Sophia: Whatever this is, just stop. I just want to deal with this alone. Please.

Sam: Message received.

(Sam heads for Dean.)