#deafie expressed

[concerningwolves]

Hi! I read your post about writing deaf characters. I'm writing fanfiction where the main character is deaf and hoped maybe you could help with a really specific question.

If someone who were signing had a flat affect, or otherwise their face could not be seen, is there another way to convey the information typically conveyed through facial expressions? How much information would be lost without the communication through facial expressions?

In addition, I was doing research on the best ways to convey sign language through writing and someone suggested GLOSS. What are your opinions on people who convey sign language through GLOSS?

Importance of the face in sign language & using GLOSS to convey signed dialogue.

Hi! Thank you for this question – I'm always excited to talk about the nifty ways that sign language conveys tone :D I'm just sorry it took me a while to answer, because I needed time to find some old resources that were way back in the depths of my blog.

TL;DR Summaries:

The face/facial expression is an integral part of sign language because it conveys meaning similar to tone of voice.

That meaning can be conveyed in other ways, like body language and signing space. From a hearing POV, signing might get louder in high-emotion contexts.

Gloss has its uses in academic and non-fiction writing, but it isn't always suitable for dialogue in fiction.

How the face conveys tone (and what happens when it can't):

Where the face is most important is in the idea of "facial punctuation": In BSL, for example, an o-shape with the mouth is like an exclamation mark and a raised eyebrow is a question mark. Those are two basic, yet integral, examples of how facial expression is part of the sign language syntax. Another example is how fluent or "native" ASL speakers can omit signs in favour of facial expression indicators – instead of the "YOU NAME WHAT?" combination that textbooks teach, signers will ask "YOU NAME?" and use furrowed eyebrows to convey the concept of "what". (In other words, facial expressions as tone indicators!)

The face is also important because it adds necessary context, such as mouthing words that have the same sign so clarify their meaning in that moment. This is why there was a lot of difficulty when COVID hit: not only do a lot of us deafies need to lip-read, but for sign-speakers, it would've been like trying to talk to someone who constantly muffles their mouth with their hand or someone who talks while chewing their sleeve. Sure, you can technically hear what that person is saying, but the meaning easily gets confused and information lost.

[Other ways to convey tone in sign language and using gloss for dialogue under the cut]

Other way to convey tone in sign language

But! The face isn't the only part that conveys tone. Sign language is cool because although it's thought of as a language that's spoken with hands, it actually uses the entire body. This includes the concept of "signing space":

Signing space is ... the three-dimensional space in front of the signer, from the waist to the forehead and from one side of the body to the other, where signs can be realized. Signers use this space to represent physical space and to represent conceptual structure. ... It's used to convey abstract information like time and order. The signer also uses this space to position the entities that are evoked in the sentence (e.g. people, objects, buildings and places) and to demonstrate their semantic relationships. — from the Wikipedia page on signing space

So, what does that mean for describing sign language?

A d/Deaf POV character would take note of how someone else uses sign space. "Non-native" sign speakers (those who learn it later in life, like me, as opposed to speaking only SL), tend to use a slightly larger than necessary sign space, similar to how you sometimes over-enunciate/over-emphasise or raise your voice when speaking an unfamiliar second language. People who've grown up only speaking a SL would find the use of sign space more intuitive, and so use the space more naturally.

Just like verbal speakers raise their voice, trip over words, muddle up word order and stutter when influenced by emotion, so do sign speakers. Describing the way someone uses sign space is a good way to do this, and something I haven't seen utilised all that often. Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant and the The Shape of Water novel both do this well; they never explicitly use the technical language, but they take time to describe how the characters sign.

How you describe this would be a bit different depending on the POV's character's fluency in sign language. I will forever love the bit in TSoW where Elisa is getting really upset, and Giles can't parse what she's saying because she's muddling her words and signing too fast for him to keep up with.

She's past him, all but ricocheting off the walls, signing recklessly enough to send columns of old paintings swaying. ... Her right hand wiggles – "fish", he thinks – and she pulls inwards from both shoulders – "fireplace" he thinks; no, "skeleton"; no, "creature" – and then a similar motion, but rounded – "trap," he thinks, or something like it, though he's probably wrong. She's talking far too rapidly. — The Shape of Water, Guillermo del Toro and Daniel Kraus.

Giles isn't wholly fluent in sign language, or knowledgeable about the technicalities. Someone who is might've had a better time of understanding what Elisa was saying; to me, this reads as Elisa being too upset to properly "enunciate" her signs, and she's signing so fast she's doing the equivalent of tripping over her own tongue. The bit where she is "signing recklessly enough to send columns of old paintings swaying" shows that she's careless with her sign space, essentially shouting. (It is also such a lovely description, so evocative of both how sign language inhabits the speaker's space, and also of Giles' shoebox flat).

If you're writing from the POV of a hearing character, there are also noises to consider. Someone who's speaking quietly in sign language would sign quietly, i.e., controlled movements and careful, noiseless skin contact; someone who's shouting in sign language would sign loudly, with less controlled movements depending on emotion and the slap of skin on skin for some signs. Other noises are breaths, perhaps instinctive grunts, or the sounds of jewellery if the speaker is wearing any.

Conveying sign language with GLOSS

For those who don't know, "'Glossing' is what you call it when you write one language in another. The written information is known as 'gloss.'" (explanation from this page about Glossing ASL, which is also where you'll find more information about the facial expression for "what" that I mentioned above). It's sometimes styled in all caps because sign language Gloss is written in capitals and small caps. This PDF gives a simple but comprehensive explanation of Gloss in ASL, if anyone would like to read more about how it works.

I've had discussions about glossing in fiction before on this blog, and although it's had a mixed result, I personally come down on the side of "Gloss is incredibly useful as a method of transcribing sign language, but I don't think it has a place in fiction". In the context of dialogue in fiction, you can convey sign language better by translating it than you can by transcribing it through gloss.

To expand a bit, here's an example of what gloss looks like, taken from the previously-mentioned page about ASL gloss:

YESTERDAY PRO-1 INDEX-[at] WORK HAPPEN SOMEONE! MAN CL:1-"walked_past_quickly" I NEVER SEE PRO-3 BEFORE.

Which roughly translates to: "Yesterday at work a stranger (some guy I've never seen before) rushed past me".

... Not really the easiest thing in the world to read if you're unfamiliar with it.

I've read sign language dialogue that uses a simplified gloss before, in which case the "glossed" dialogue is pared down to the words only, and the other gloss elements are added to the description. To return to the earlier "What's your name?" example, the dialogue could then look like this:

"YOU NAME?" she signed, furrowing her eyebrows into the question.

Which is easier to understand, but an entire text full of dialogue in capital letters, with words usually appearing in the "wrong" order, still presents an accessibility issue. It's more effective to translate the sign language and then describe what the speaker is doing in the surrounding description. This isn't a perfect way of writing signed dialogue, but you're not going to find a perfect way, because sign language is distinctly different from spoken or written language.

(In Into the Drowning Deep, there's an author's note at the start telling readers that all ASL has been "rendered as if it were SEE (Signing Exact English)" – i.e., translated – for ease of reading, which I really appreciated!)

There's also the fact that glossed or literally transcribed signed dialogue can be read as childish, which ... uh. Well. The way we treat speech as a sign of intellectual ability, and how intellectual ability is used to measure a person's worth, is a thorny topic for another time. But in summary, infantilisation of anyone who doesn't speak verbally is an issue, and the "simple" way that glossed SLs are written reads similarly to the way kids talk, which feeds into harmful stereotypes that all d/Deaf people are inherently stupid or infantile.

I hope this helps, and please ask if you have any more questions! <3

[disableddeaconness]

Hard of hearing here! First off, I don't know much of my own culture so you can take this with what you will. Second off, I don't know sign language (most I know is the ily sign) due to not being raised with it. Third off, I use Deaf and deaf throughout. Deaf with the big D refers to deaf (including hard of hearing) people who are involved in Deaf culture. Deaf with the little d refers to those who are not involved in Deaf culture.

First, sign language is more than just movements. It requires having the appropriate facial expressions when signing and mouthing the words. You have to face who you're talking to while signing. There's a variety of different sign languages too.

Second, sign language is a core aspect of Deaf culture. I'm unsure on the stance on if it's "universal" (i.e can used by Hearing people without Deaf people involved) so I'll be moving onto my next point. Sign language has a history of being censored or restricted (see oralism and for an advocate, Alexander Graham Bell) by Hearing people in order to make us part of the Hearing world.

Third, I don't see much wrong with putting sign language into emojis. As long as it's not mocking or using them maliciously, it's harmless in my opinion. Again sign language is a big part of Deaf culture so we would love to use our own language as shorthands during a convo with other Deafies or others who know sign language. And as for a lot of the emojis I've seen, it shows a how to for a sign with the text so people can understand.

I agree with @reddiscourse on a good bunch of points especially on sign language being a language. Plus, sign language has been deemed as a lesser form of language due to lack of verbality (see oralism again) by Hearing people. There's also the thing of the term non verbal being an autistic only term but I can't say much on that as as far as I know, I'm allistic.

TD;LR: As a HoH person with little personal experience with Deaf culture growing up, I don't think making emojis out of SL is harmful.

Sigh, alright hold on

When someone loses verbality or a nonverbal alter/headmate fronts, sometimes they lose more than just the ability talk, such as loosing the ability to form words/understand language easily or even altogether

Many of those who use "nonverbal emojis" say that it's easier to find an emoji than try to create words or phrases on their own

So no, it isn't fetishism, it's just a tool that some use

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

these animated designs...😎

[l-music-l]

#1NovemberDay

[deafaq]

Hi there! I've always been wondering how exactly do deaf ppl show and perceive sarcasm or for example how do they understand someone is angry? For us hearing ppl, we use different tones and volumes to indicate anger or sarcasm, but how do deaf ppl do this? Does it have to do with facial expressions? Do you sign in different speeds, do you specify the tone?

Hello,

yes, Deaf people have no problems with understanding sarcasm. Usually facial expressions are used to convey someone is being sarcastic, similar to a tone in spoken language.

They can also exxagerate signs (make them bigger) and/or hold them longer. Similar to English "he is soooo coooool".

So its facial expressions, body language, hands movement. Rolling your eyes as well.

Some good examples of exxagerated/sarcastic ASL is for example on this youtube channel - Deafies in Drag.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc_6D623EE6-ZF0PS6wfyrg

Mod T

[should-be-public-knowledge]

[daybreak-academy-fanfic]

Lost Lights: Chapter 8

Do-Gooders

Summary: In which Terra and Aqua arrive at just the right time, and more secrets are kept. Word Count: 2,620 First | Previous | Next | Last ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆ ⚬ ☆

Terra and Aqua had spent most of the evening at Mean Street. To occupy their time, they went around to ask any citizens if they had seen (or at least heard of) Sora. The two ended up meeting a local reporter outside the theater. It was a horse-like person, similar to Horace Horsecollar, who went by the name Jack Kelly. Terra had wanted to immediately ask if he had seen Sora, but Aqua advocated for a more gentle approach. Instead, she casually asked Jack Kelly for any decent news around town. Besides their own arrival, there was news of a dwarf named Deafy who had upset the organ in the Haunted Mansion, and there was even a petition started in Tomorrow City to get the Peoplemover bridges open again.

It was when the horse-person started to warble on about rival news anchors that Aqua finally asked about Sora. Either her description of Sora was too weird for this world (spiky brown hair, blue eyes, fair skinned with a light tan, close in age to Sabrina), or Jack Kelly really did not like being cut off when he was talking. He gave Aqua a rather hard stare as she tried to better describe the lost wielder. After she was done, he started to think everything over.

"Well, I know of a Sora,” he eventually admitted. “But I don't think it's the one you're looking for. Your Sora's a he, right?"

"That's right."

"Nope,” the horse person decided with a shake of his head. “Who I'm thinking of isn't the Sora you're looking for then. The Sora I know of is one of those gargoyles that takes occupation in certain parts of Rainbow Caverns. Definitely not who you're trying to find, I'd wager."

"No." Aqua agreed, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "But thank you anyway.”

“If you do hear something, could you let us know?" Terra asked.

"Of course! I'd be the first to learn of anything new here in Wasteland, or my name isn't Jack Kelly!"

Terra and Aqua gave the reporter a small nod before taking their leave.

“I told you we wouldn’t be able to find him here.” Aqua told Terra as they then proceeded to walk aimlessly to the tip of Main Street North. Terra looked over at her to study her expression before putting on a wide grin.

“Master Aqua,” he then teased, “You’re not giving up, are you?”

The mere idea of it caused Aqua to freeze in place. Her shocked expression only gave Terra room to laugh at her. Before Aqua was able to fully realize he was joking, they both heard the terrified cry of Chirithy in the distance.

“Terra! Aqua! Where are you?!”

The two wielders flashed each other a quick look before heading to the source of Chirithy’s shouts. They met in the middle, some place around the Emporium.

“There you are!” Chirithy exclaimed, running up to them.

“Chirithy, what’s wrong?” Aqua asked, bending down to the Dream Eater’s height.

“It’s Sabrina and Ven,” it told them, “They’re in trouble! BIG trouble! You need to go help them now!”

A chill ran up the two wielders’ spines.

"Can you lead us to them?" Terra questioned, although it came out more as a demand.

"Mostly." it said. "Come on!"

The two gave Chirithy a nod before following its lead. It led them back to where the D.E.C. entrance was underneath the train station. But something was there that they didn’t expect; a second Chirithy. It was urgently fussing with the D.E.C. hatch as it waited for everyone to come together. Seeing a second Chirithy stopped Terra and Aqua in their tracks.

"Over here!" the other Chirithy told them, urgently waving them over. "Come on, hurry!"

"There's two of them?" Terra questioned. "How?"

"We'll tell you why later." Ven's Chirithy quickly told him as it pushed against his legs. "Just keep going!"

Terra gave a nod before he and Aqua went into the D.E.C. with their Keyblades already out.

. . .

The beauty of the Angel Caverns was easily disrupted by the sounds of metal clashing against metal. At the top of the numerous platforms, where the area was more of a ledge overlooking the Devil Caverns, two females fought each other with weapons of light. Or, at least, one possessed a true weapon of light. The other was fake, created to match the weapon that was once wielded by the original face of the other, but it was no less of a threat.

“You have such an admirable fighting spirit, my dear.” the shape shifter Mizrabel, now guised as a young woman with long orange hair and a lovely linen dress, purred before firing a magic spell at Sabrina. The raven haired girl blocked the attack, and immediately reflected it back. It nearly hit Mizrabel by a hair. “If only it translated well into your actual fighting techniques. That weapon of yours might actually be a threat.”

“At least mine is real.” Sabrina spat. “Yours is just a product of your illusions.”

“And yet,” Mizrabel mused with a click of her tongue, “I’m still overpowering you. I thought you had a teacher now, darling. But wait- what’s our dear leader going to say when his preferred heir is going out of her way to hurt him? I mean, threaten this world’s sense of hope, of course. We could never afford to lose that.”

The growl that erupted from Sabrina’s throat was near feral as she blindly came at Mizrabel. It only took a simple side step to avoid the attack.

“It’s such a shame that the Keyblade chose you.” Mizrabel sighed. “You have so much darkness in your heart, it’s amazing there’s any light left in you at all.”

Sabrina did not answer at first. She turned back around to face the shapeshifter, holding her Keyblade tight with both hands.

“Maybe it’s because of my darkness that it chose me.” she challenged.

Mizrabel openly laughed. She took a few steps forward, dispelling her weapon as if they were coming to a truce. Knowing that the shape shifter was in no way finished, Sabrina did not let her guard down.

“You’re a smart little girl.” Mizrabel crooned, giving a small wave of her hand. “But do you really believe in yourself like that?”

The teen’s body stiffened. For once during the entire fight, her hold on her weapon became a tad bit loose. Her face detailed a conflict that she normally did not let show.

“Didn’t think so.” Mizrabel smirked before summoning her weapon once more. Before Sabrina had time to react, she was hit at blunt range. The blow came at her with more force than what she had been expecting, Sabrina was sent flying to the platform’s ledge. It was by luck that she was able to catch herself before falling off the platform completely.

“Well this scene looks familiar.” Mizrabel mused as she came back over. Cursing under her breath, Sabrina tried her best to get her lower body from back over the ledge before Mizrabel came over. It was just as easy as wading through gelatin. It was embarrassing. Mizrabel stood above Sabrina now, a malicious grin crossing lips never meant to form that way. “I believe the next line is, ‘Long live the queen.’”

Sabrina looked up at Mizrabel in urgency. There was no way. There was no way that the shape shifter would actually try to harm her. The look of surprise on Sabrina’s face melted into one of anger.

“You’re just as bad as the Mad Doctor!” she declared in pure spite. It only earned another laugh from Mizrabel.

“What a coincidence, then.” she smiled. “I’ve heard through the grapevine that the doc knows how to get the three new wielders out of our world. Funny how he hasn’t told anyone yet… But that’s not as funny as you never getting out of here alive.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”

Interrupted by a new voice, Mizrabel turned around to see Terra and Aqua ready to fight. An impatient sigh escaped her lips.

“Being in a world founded by do-gooders is so boring.” the shape shifter said, more to herself than anyone else. “They always have to swoop him, say some clever one-liner, then mop the floor with you. But I don’t want to play that game today; not any more. I’m too tired now.”

When the older wielders started to advance toward her, Mizrabel gave a wave of her hand and a cloud of smoke enveloped her body. She was gone by the time Terra could even land a hit. Aqua immediately went to Sabrina to help her back to safety. There were no thanks given at the act, just a sneer before Sabrina dusted off her clothes. Terra located Ven and didn’t waste time to make sure his friend was alright. Ven remained unresponsive, but was still fine otherwise, so Terra picked him up off the ground without hesitation. With everyone safe, they all went back to Dark Beauty in silence.

Sabrina lingered close to Aqua and Terra as they placed Ven in his guest room. She remained behind when they decided to leave. The older two didn’t question her. It might have been a good thing too, because right outside the door was Chirithy.

“Can you two follow me?” it said to them, its voice rather small. “We need to talk about… a certain something.”

“Of course.” Terra and Aqua agreed at the same time. Chirithy gave a nod before leading them around the corridor. Waiting there was a second Chirithy- but they almost expected this. It was Aqua who bent down to be close to their height before asking the obvious.

“So there’s two of you?”

The Chirithy nodded.

“Please don’t tell Ventus or my wielder.” the second Chirithy requested. “Of anyone, they of all people can not know about us.”

“Your wielder?” Aqua asked, giving a curious tilt of her head.

“Sabrina.” Terra realized. Aqua stood back up to give him a curious look. She was about to question against it, but the second Chirithy spoke up before she could.

“Yes. Sabrina.” it agreed. “You must have gathered by now how much of an anomaly she is around here. Because of events that took place before you three arrived, Oswald has been trying to keep her as close as possible. Which means… keeping things from her.”

“Keeping you from her.” Aqua softly said. Chirithy nodded.

“It’s for the best.” Ven’s Chirithy added. “Think of it for the same reasons why we already do not tell Ven a lot about his history. We’ve all seen what happens when Ven has a memory conflict, we both would hate to see it happen to another wielder too…”

The four of them fell silent at this. Having what amounted to a panic attack, then becoming unconscious after, it was an infrequent occurrence in Ventus that he, his friends, and Chirithy were starting to find the root of. But it was a slippery slope- one wrong word and Ven’s heart would be sleeping for hours, maybe even days. Even now -although Terra and Aqua didn’t know what triggered it yet- how long it would take for Ven to wake up was uncertain.

“So which Chirithy led us to the D.E.C.?” Terra questioned as soon as the thought occurred to him.

“That was me.” Ven’s Chirithy told them. “But I wasn’t in the caverns with them before that. I had let Chirithy go when Ven had called me for help.”

“It was very nice of Chirithy to do that.” Sabrina’s Chirithy agreed. “I haven’t been allowed to see Sabrina in awhile. Oswald wouldn’t allow it.”

“They even call themselves Chirithy.” Terra mumbled under his breath. “As if this wasn’t confusing enough…”

Aqua laughed a bit before getting to the Chirithy’s height again. She used her hands to give each of them a small pat on the head.

“We need to find a way to set these guys apart.” she mused.

After she finished ruffling their heads, the Chirithy looked at each other with equal glances of confusion. Their expressions remained the same before looking back to Terra and Aqua.

“But we’re Chirithy.” they said in equal unison.

“It would be up to you, of course.” Aqua laughed. “We’re not going to force you to change just for our benefit.”

“Maybe one could wear a hat.” Terra mused, stifling a laugh of his own.

“Sabrina used to be familiar with a wielder whose Chirithy wore a hat like his.” Sabrina’s Chirithy playfully mused. “I was always kinda jealous of it. It looked like it was made out of silk and everything.”

At this, the four of them went into a light laughter. They tried to keep most of it from getting too loud, in case someone else was hearing. There were still a few secrets to be had, but it was nice to share some of it with others.

For someone else, secrets were the one thing she wished people would outright tell her. Sabrina paced near the foot of Ven’s guest bed with her arms folded in front of her. Something that Mizrabel had said still stuck in her mind. She could deal with the taunting of being a bad fighter. She could even hold off on telling everyone that the Mad Doctor might have some idea of where the keyhole was until tomorrow. But it was the form that Mizrabel took, the way Ventus reacted to it, and what Mizrabel said in relation to his reaction that made Sabrina pace.

Already broken pieces…

“Sabrina…?” Ven slurred as he tried to sit up.

Sabrina blinked out of her train of thought before giving him her attention. Her gaze was steely and unrelenting as she looked at him. Seeing it made Ven sheepishly rub the back of his neck.

“How long was I out?” he ventured to ask. Sabrina looked away again.

“Not long.” she told him. She closed her eyes for a moment before asking, “Who was she?”

The question had caught him off guard. He raised an eyebrow at her in waiting for her to further explain. Sabrina held herself a bit tighter before letting out an annoyed sigh.

“The way Mizrabel’s magic works is that she takes memories of people once connected to you, and takes their forms into her own body.” she told him. The annoyance in her voice was more than noticeable as she went on. “She’s able to copy abilities and sometimes even muscle memory this way. For the record, never let her touch you again. She might trudge up someone more powerful than another Keyblade wielder or a dark fairy.”

“Noted.” Ven agreed with a nod.

“The form that Mizrabel took.” Sabrina then said once more. “The one she took from your memories. Who was it?”

“I…” Ven tried to say. “I… I can’t remember.” The young man looked down at his hands before trying to explain, “There are parts of my memory that I can’t recall at all. Sometimes when I try, everything just… goes wrong. My head starts to hurt, I black out. Chirithy has told me that it's trying to help sort everything out. But…”

“But it’s like someone broke already broken pieces…”

Ven looked up at her. “Huh?” he wondered.

“Never mind.” Sabrina insisted with a shake of her head. “It’s getting late. I’ll tell Terra and Aqua that you woke up, but other than that, I could care less. Good night, Ventus.”

“Good night.” Ven warily repeated. He watched her leave as she kept her head down. For some reason, he had a feeling that no one was going to sleep well tonight.

[aslsuzyq]

Please remember that there is an entire community of Deaf/HoH people who are ASL but also we need to see your face to know what you are feeling and trying to express! I am ASL but I still need to see your mouth when I am out in the Hearing world. We can’t give our smart phones back & forth now days bcz of Corona virus. Also many people don’t feel comfortable using my pen and paper! So at the very least- PLEASE have your own pen/paper with you if you are a customer service employee especially at stores and restaurants. I’ll use mine & you can use yours? That’ll work! OR BEST IDEA EVER.... PLEASE LEARN ASL if at all possible! Thank you so much! .#asl #americansignlanguage #deafandproud #signlanguage #deaf #hoh #hearingaids #deaftalent #deafgain #deafcan #deafcreator #accessiblity #access #youtubecreator #tiktokcreator #deafie #tru-biz #chronicillness #rsd #cholesteatoma #chiari #eds #painwarrior #deafcommunity #deafculture #deafawareness #deafpride #deafie https://www.instagram.com/p/CD1uKioMnhR/?igshid=1cz7b96b1cltu

[ralfmaximus]

Snow White and the 1026 Dwarfs

Snow White woke up in the strangest little bed!   She'd happened upon the small, cozy house deep in the woods, found nobody at home, and promptly crashed in the first bed she'd spotted.  Sleep claimed her then, dragging her away to a place of relative peace and calm... carefully letting her ignore how tiny all the furnishings were, how oddly low were the ceilings and fixtures. And now, the next morning!  What odd little men surrounded her!  Normally she'd be alarmed by close proximity to so many strangers, but the events of the past day had granted her an oddly calm outlook on life.  Nothing much rattled her anymore. Snow White blinked sleepily, yawned, and stretched.  The men watched her every movement, transfixed. "Do you talk?" She asked experimentally. One older man -- tiny, rotund, and wiser than the rest with a long white beard -- glanced around at the others and nodded.  He adjusted his spectacles and stepped forward. "I'm Doc," he explained with a jolly chuckle.  "And these are my friends: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty." Snow White laughed and clapped her hands with delight.  "My, there certainly are a lot of you!  I'm ever so sorry for barging in here uninvited, but I don't really have a home any more... would you mind terribly if I stayed for awhile?  I can cook and clean and--" Doc raised a hand, interrupting her gently. "We'd be honored if you stayed!" All 1026 dwarfs nodded in agreement, and were so thrilled they threw Snow White a party to celebrate their new friendship.  The party lasted late into the evening, and everyone passed out with full tummies and a happy smile lighting their faces. The next day the dwarfs arose early and prepared for work.  Snow White cooked them breakfast and when it was time to leave they all lined up at the door to bid her farewell for the day. Snow White expressed her gratitude by kissing each dwarf on the forehead: Smarmy, Ragey, Explainy, Glossy, Pookie, Pesty, Grippy, Inebriated, Teary, Swampy, Piggy, Catty, Hitler, Stroky, Zombie, Mooky, Tandy, Fakey, Twinky, Biggie, Munchy, Stingy, Intrepid, Gabby, Shitsnacks, Packy, Growly, Sleazy, Pervy, Ookey, Maggy, Slither, Effy, Jelly, Freezy, Snuggy, Dippy, Toothy, Banger, Loathsome, Smelly, Loofa, Eerie, Jenny, Zoidberg, Fatty, Porkey, Cutty, Brazen, Krabby, Outlandish, Irony, Queasey, Juicy, Ugly, Wonky, Appealing, Lectory, Terminator, Off-putting, Shorty, Irregular, Hissy, Silky, Hardy, Whacker, Ginny, Pammy, Lovely, Chasey, Numby, Abba, Unmentionable, Phreaky, Gawkey, Spooly, Dairy, Flamy, Pickley, Jammy, Croaky, Diehardy, Sordid, Boasty, Rumbly, Klepto, Siggy, Serendipity, Touchy, Thrifty, Cassy, Noxy, Woggly, Gaggy, Beauty, Bluto, Easty, Larky, Sleepy, Hottie, Cloggy, Muffy, Busty, Flouncy, Oly, Wordy, Floopy, Bently, Winky, Rampy, Twitty, Rutty, Witchy, Boxey, Sexy, Sicky, Blazey, Googly, Chemistry, Humpy, Bloggy, Palsey, Tranny, Nipply, Creepy, Jumpy, Weekly, Dready, Burny, Stjnky, Potty, Poofey, Affable, Sippy, Yeachy, Volatile, Jacky, Pokey, Tumbly, Stinky, Hippie, Restless, Frosty, Slicey, Grabby, Bashful, Milky, Lenny, Slick, Losty, Dramatic, Subliminal, Peeny, Inserty, Botfly, Whipser, Edgy, Strutty, Gamey, Goaty, Slammy, Hickey, Murdery, Lickey, Quiet, Bastard, Sprainy, Griefy, Freeky, Snicky, Snobby, Destructive, Pagey, Hefty, Freepy, Dreamy, Tinny, Jaunty, Larpy, Yelpy, Pumpy, Techey, Wackey, Krappy, Porky, Banny, Lawdy, Spikey, Noxious, Robby, Forky, Woeful, Cringley, Roasty, Grumpy, Queefy, Slabby, Qwerty, Oaky, Rusty, Donner, Bitey, Ernie, Bratty, Reddy, Alky, Pearly, Tooky, Clingy, Rapey, Contagious, Wheezy, Toasty, Nosy, Hungry, Cupid, Woofy, Wicked, Kitty, Slappy, Silly, Oogly, Quagmire, Chumpy, Spocky, Secretive, Yukku, Checky, Goofy, Porney, Seepy, Angry, Junkie, Dumpy, Cagey, Handy, Ghastly, Bunny, Narky, Crummy, Tipsey, Wizzy, Peachy, Splashy, Frighty, Towley, Rangey, Twitchy, Birdy, Blotty, Wheely, Tweety, Mealy, Tazey, Boozy, Mopey, Icky, Hacky, Mental, Pasty, Guffy, Yelly, Picky, Lucy, Bloody, Doomy, Balky, Sharky, Moby, Tastey, Clunky, Happy, Nancy, Fry, Puke, Zany, Sweaty, Pimply, Poppy, Testy, Classy, Scratchy, Righty, Smegma, Pissy, Schmutzy, Proxy, Preachy, Prey, Baddy, Westy, Clumsey, Jumbo, Pawy, Jaundiced, Masturbatey, Spasms, Wiley, Pukey, Havok, Puffy, Startled, Prissy, Snoopy, Ruffian, Iggy, Acid-Refluxy, Nifty, Dressy, Gomer, Flabby, Deadly, Smalls, Neurotic, Hideous, Shecky, Blondy, Skunky, Yummy, Victor, Jewy, Arny, Neuty, Biff, Toady, Humpty, Moogly, Grassy, Corny, Feisty, Angsty, Creamy, Techy, Lopsey, Queeny, Stretchy, Mo, Spanks, Regretful, Snarfly, Underpants, Ready, Lanky, Splenda, Naggy, Faily, Yakky, Sizzly, Jokey, Pacey, Spooey, Traumatic, Screamy, Tucker, Pimpy, Beady, Roughy, Snoozy, Roofy, Quimbly, Brewy, Gumby, Pointy, Hooky, Writey, Shimmy, Bulgy, Nootsy, Bingey, Mooby, Dunky, Sully, Neurtsy, Woey, Jiggy, Prietsly, Terry, Forgetful, Comfy, Romney, Campy, Northy, Giggidy, Dipsy, Beefy, Poledancey, Apocalypse, Woozy, Evil, Talky, Vapid, Freaky, Whackey, Inserto, Bleaty, Chufty, Scuzzy, Crispy, Tepid, Snazzy, Sqealy, Grotty, Jimmy, Nanny, Godlike, Furious, Booty, Wolfy, Cumpy, Toily, Crumbly, Biggo, Boggly, Ironic, Belchy, Flaily, Killy, Puggy, Wendy, Gloomy, Verbosity, Listless, Twisty, Waffles, Archy, Wheatley, Iconic, Klassy, Pauley, Bruiser, Prefunctory, Ruffy, Poopy, Zuckerman, Snappy, Oily, Shakes, Yiles, Priggy, Airy, Godly, Hotty, Lassy, Fudgy, Wooky, Bursty, Leggy, Soggy, Soulful, Walky, Unkillable, Bindlestiff, Pathy, Soothy, Lolzy, Spiffy, Trekky, Toothsome, Goldy, Daffy, Yucky, Pappy, Snowy, Dancy, Sappy, Lana, Cursey, Drippy, Cackles, Fuzzy, Malignant, Ghosty, Quality, Hurty, Schulty, Fizzy, Toughy, Tweaky, Starry, Jigsaw, Piney, Magnanimous, Softy, Denty, Damned, Intolerable, Dodgey, Spazzy, Ropey, Socky, Moomoo, Sammy, Dampy, Cracky, Zippy, Whorey, Likey, Wooy, Spewy, Farty, Perthy, Kinky, Peely, Wetone, Squeaky, Frenzy, Noisy, Danny, Flippy, Fartsy, Gravy, Barfy, Loopy, Regular, Nedly, Quacky, Sloppy, Snooki, Crampy, Wetty, Appealy, Boofy, Snotty, Kwazy, Nutty, Regal, Zappy, Candy, Scary, Shakey, Yeasty, Trampy, Runty, Turgid, Icey, Dusty, Adolph, Pocky, Shitty, Nasty, Cranny, Mommy, Monkey, Prickley, Lumpy, Snippy, Quaffy, Wendigo, Opulent, Henny, Prancer, Pervo, Pippy, Rotund, Cavey, Dazzle, Clooney, Rumpy, Pudgy, Spunky, Ralfy, Questy, Dwarfy, Limpy, Rugby, Junky, Insideous, Assy, Hizzy, Hotsy, Honey, Punky, Blingy, Spinny, Nicky, Spindly, Lacey, Banshee, Feely, Baldy, Rabbity, Lunky, Swarley, Damply, Whiley, Splattery, Squirty, Alcoholic, Foggy, Denny, Berty, Zinny, Mammy, Delicious, Dropsey, Vixen, Beary, Beatlejuice, Knobby, Loudly, Meaty, Teethy, Drinky, Woz, Wanky, Scuffy, Swimmy, Gummy, Posse, Milly, Wallop, Pouty, Ruby, Chicken, Poofy, Funny, Smugly, Spinry, Grimey, Ripley, Savory, Schmuckey, Stainy, Quivery, Pooly, Droopy, Lappy, Herpy, Able, Goosey, Dapper, Beasty, Dazy, Giggy, Drowsy, Lowly, Coolie, Slutty, Burby, Nippy, Firey, Sniffy, Glassy, Factory, Cheney, Slidey, Chippy, Kludgy, Orly, Meany, Kreepy, Pooley, Ninja, Whizzy, Victim, Iffy, Saggy, Kenny, Floppy, Nabby, Sickley, Groggy, Liquidity, Hussy, Jinxy, Kewpie, Lampy, Saxy, Dexter, Doleful, Dandy, Peggy, Mooey, Slashy, Drunkey, Homo, Rolly, Hoggly, Healy, Salty, Gropey, Ghouley, Whirley, Faggy, Weedy, Teaser, Dasher, Ego, Artsy, Quippy, Insanity, Beastly, Chappy, Sparky, Zesty, Tasty, Bumpy, Tappy, Uggy, Herky, Greasy, Weakly, Grungy, Jeery, Menthol, Ouchy, Trollface, Morty, Pandy, Scooby, Miley, Racky, Upchuck, Stumpy, Spongy, Slurpy, Kiley, Tummy, Incindiary, Tokey, Flighty, Pussy, Porker, Pranky, Itchy, Spongey, Fuckey, Stuffy, Quiver, Dreary, Ravey, Dirtzy, Tanky, Crabby, Besty, Dregs, Killzy, Wackry, Daisy, Killer, Chevy, Tacky, Stimpy, Tiny, Buffy, Piggie, Crufty, Stabby, Oozey, Unlucky, Beatnik, Twitly, Kingly, Aery, Ogly, Gimpy, Shanky, Trippy, Fingery, Trumpy, Quackey, Cringey, Hokey, Emergency, Flowery, Tinky, Wifey, Crowley, Gassy, Gingery, Bobby, Tender, Penny, Nutso, Mighty, Crazy, Klinky, Blitzen, Clappy, Slitty, Leaky, Queasy, Wallaby, Buddy, Bootlicker, Peeky, Sadistic, Lovey, Glowy, Pickles, Gingerly, Misty, Lofty, Mickey, Wrappy, Ridiculous, Perky, Tangly, Sprockets, Lackey, Awful, Crassy, Runny, Nasal, Frigid, Doggy, Leafy, Planty, Stealthy, Soapy, Draggy, Queery, Texty, Undie, Davey, Fucky, Futurey, Lefty, Sickly, Diseased, Cranky, Nukey, Gangly, Totty, Dummy, Flakey, Lizzy, Tighty, Froggy, Gunny, Doily, Blotto, Seizey, Lazy, Venty, Blacky, Sandy, Immotral, Spangly, Clowny, Falsey, Loosey, Hanky, Wavy, Shifty, Annoying, Navy, Broody, Cunty, Impressy, Tuffy, Anonymous, Dickey, Pugly, Trolly, Kissy, Reflexy, Prawny, Obnoxious, Duffy, Kingy, Clicky, Nosey, Weepy, Phony, Frenny, Blinky, Neutral, Icony, Southy, Jetty, Teeny, Brutus, Wiffy, Smuggy, Busy, Plucky, Fisty, Spotty, Smokey, Chokey, Lippy, Tammy, Baggy, Powerless, Whitey, Typo, Mimsey, Tiki, Slurpee, Tearful, Flamey, Boozey, Moochy, Jewlery, Wobbly, Bossy, Randy, Curmudgeon, Grampy, Treacherous, Tonedeaf, Handsy, Speedy, Lulzy, Marty, Smacky, Rooky, Frightened, Piggly, Artful, Plowy, Bitchy, Barky, Preppy, Sunny, Rocky, Whappy, Hiney, Spanky, Whammy, Deafy, Mathy, Brainy, Fishy, Barfly, Swifty, Clueless, Dizzy, Lordy, Swindly, Pony, Snooty, Twix, Banksy, Wisty, Squirmy, Brewery, Scrappy, Slippy, Trollop, Ballsy, Willy, Rappy, Sneezy, Addy, Icy, Earny, Fidgety, Schooly, Klangy, Wistful, Metal, Lucky, Obsessive, Henzy, Huggy, Sassy, Agey, Pinky, Horny, Benny, Passy, Tingly, Rippy, Reagal, Freebie, Tossy, Slippery, Touchey, Kermy, Wiggly, Druggy, Hippy, Sweety, Dougie, Crappy, Peaty, Nazi, Faulty, Swirley, Crunchy, Bully, Flambe, Biddy, Hoppy, Bangy, Punny, Unsavory, Derpy, Jizzy, Ratty, Unlikable, Gently, Droppy, Ren, Smithy, Knotty, Deady, Chicky, Jerky, Flatulent, Billy, Pithy, Humphrey, Hansel, Poopie, Snuggly, Loki, Dopey, Yippy, Ridonkulous, Cody, Blatty, Renny, Parky, Prancy, Banananery, Yukky, Cheaty, Lossy, Scruffy, Silty, and Drifty each trooped past Snow White and received a farewell kiss and by the time she reached the end of the line her lips fell off.

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

[auspicixus]

Petition for UK Cinemas to provide better captioning.

For those of you who are not aware, UK cinemas very rarely show films with subtitles (Closed Captioning) at times suitable for most people who need them. Often the theme is that “subtitles are ugly!”, and “well, very few people ever come to see these subtitled showings, so what’s the point in making them more frequent/accessible?” (Uh, did you consider that no-one is ABLE to get to these showings?).

Open the read more to learn about this situation.

Disclaimer: I’m neither deaf or hard of hearing. I struggle with hearing some things, but I am Hearing. Please let me know if any of my wording is incorrect. Additionally, I am someone with sight. If my image ID’s could be improved, please do inform me.

TL;DR: Cinemas do not provide appropriately timed captioned showings of films. Please show support for caption-needing people by signing this change.org petition [link] created with the intention of encouraging UK Cinemas to correctly cater to the D/deaf and hard of hearing, as well as those with English as a Second or Foreign Language, sensory issues, or processing disorders.

A list of links to the sources I’ve used in-line is also available at the end of the post for accessibility.

Here’s some examples of films having little to no subtitle showings in UK cinemas, from two Cineworld cinemas I visit frequently:

[Image Description: A list of the showing times for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald at Ashford Cineworld cinema on Sunday 18th November. The only time listed with subtitles is 14:50. There are twelve 2D showings and five 3D showings of this same film on the same day, without subtitles. End description.]

[Image Decription: Another list of the showing times for the same film at the same cinema, Monday 19th November. The only time listed with subtitles is 17:10. There are, again, twelve 2D showings and five 3D showings of this same film on the same day, without subtitles. End Description.]

The Ashford cinema has 12 screens. These showings are during the first week of this film’s release (The film came out today, Friday 16th November). On the Sunday, there are a total of 15 films being shown. On Monday, there are 11 films in total.

Now, let’s look at Dover:

[Image Description: A third list of showing times for Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald at the Dover Cineworld cinema, Wednesday 21st November. The only time listed with subtitles is 16:10. There are 4 2D showings and one 3D showing of this same film on the same day, without subtitles. End Description.]

Dover Cineworld is a 6 screen cinema. Again, this is the first week of this film’s release. This one subtitled time-slot is the only one this cinema has in the first week. This cinema is showing 6 films on Wednesday 21st.

Every single showing at these two Cineworld cinemas (I’m not sure about other ones) has Audio Description via a headset given to those who request one.

Here is what the Cineworld website likes to say about Audio Description:

[Image Description: Part of a screenshot of the Cineworld website, listing the features of each cinema. Audio Described is shown, with a tooltip that reads “Special service for blind and visually impaired cinema goers which doesn’t affect other spectators”. End Description.]

This implies that subtitles are “affecting” hearing people, or those who don’t need subtitles for other reasons, hence why captioning is not available in every single showing, or at least, a larger percentage.

The issue with these times is that they are largely unreasonable for both deaf adults and deaf children. Primary and Secondary schools in England let up around 3pm, sometimes 4pm. College is usually 9-to-5. Work is also 9-to-5 for many people. The times given in the first week of release - 2:50pm, 4:10pm, and 5:10pm - are really unacceptable and inaccessible for deaf people who work or are in education.

As is the ableist society we live in, there will always be people who legitimately believe Open Captioning - captions which are fixed on the screen and cannot be removed by the viewer - is ugly and unnecessary. There is however, a call for cinemas to cater better to their caption-needing patrons.

I just finished watching a video by the wonderful Jessica Kellgren-Fozard [@jessicaoutofthecloset - Tumblr] who brilliantly explains her experience as a deaf girl and cinema-goer [Click to view], in which she also provides a link to a petition created by Deafie Blogger [Twitter link] to encourage UK cinemas to show more appropriately timed viewings with captioning. This petition [link] is important as the result will be that films will be more accessible for more people. Jess suggests in her video one “appropriately timed” showing with captions a week, but I feel we could do a lot better than that.

Jess also mentioned “caption glasses”, which I decided to research. It would seem that the National Theatre (which hosts stage performances) has begun using a Google Glass looking headset which shows Closed Captions to individuals, rather than Open Captions to the whole audience (which would be a bit tricky with stage performance). I would like to see this technology being implemented in cinemas, and my interest is particularly piqued by the fact that I’ve not seen cinemas look into this technology which “wouldn’t affect” other viewers, since they - Cineworld at least - seem to tout that the Audio Description headsets’ non-invasive use is one of its best features.

The reason that this is an issue because The Equality Act 2010 states that:

“The Equality Act 2010 covers all service providers in all sectors, which means you must do what the equality law states in relation to your staff training and awareness, operational functions, processes, information and facilities. In order to do this, you may need to make some reasonable adjustments, which means possibly changing the way things are done, providing aids and additional services and making changes to overcome barriers created by the physical features of your premises. What is considered reasonable in law depends upon the effectiveness of the change, the building’s status (e.g. Listed Building) and the physical practicalities and financial implications.”

If we specifically compare the phrases I bolded -“reasonable adjustment” and “providing aids and additional services” - with the evidence of very few subtitled screenings and no assistive aids for non-subtitled screenings, alongside the express opinion of the D/deaf community, we can infer that what cinemas currently do, does not completely satisfy this element of The Equality Act 2010. This petition intends to encourage cinemas to be more open and inclusive, tending to their disabled patrons more efficiently, as well as prompting them to listen to the voices of the disadvantaged.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post.

List of links:

Petition link: http://bit.ly/2QwzgXv.

Cineworld: http://www.cineworld.co.uk.

Jessica’s video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NP4kAPdgTQ.

Deafie Blogger’s blog: http://www.deafieblogger.com.

Deafie Blogger’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/deafieblogger.

National Theatre’s Caption Glasses: https://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/your-visit/access/caption-glasses.

The Equality Act 2010, gov.uk: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/equality-act-2010-guidance.

[queercateer]

Ilysm for captioning DWSA, it felt like everyone in the deafie community other than myself had seen it. I know it said "Act 2 will be up in a few months," so I was gonna hold out, but that willpower lasted less than five minutes. This is like waiting a whole year for another season. (Not to sound impatient, just expressing gratitude. 💕💕)

????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh!! my god!! ahhhhhh!!!

thank you ily2

i understand - i have no willpower too

but it is getting done!! i post updates to the marshall’s subtitle adventures tag - finished totally f*cked two days ago and was literally just about to start on word of your body (reprise)

but if you’re desperate to watch a subtitled bootleg feel free to check out my assassins subtitles - its on youtube - the first show i ever subtitled (my absolute favorite).

[deaf-a-rising]

I have a couple of questions. First, are deaf people annoyed when hearing people make sign language covers of songs? Second, is it ok to use PSE signing? I keep getting different answers

For your first question, I haven’t seen any complaints about hearing people do sign language covers of songs recently. I really like the idea of hearing people doing covers, because they can obviously hear the song and express it more, so the deafies who do use sign language can see what the hype is all about. I think the only concern is that people that are hearing that do sign should be able to sign fluently and do it correctly if they were to make a cover.For the second question about PSE, I feel like it all depends on the type of environment or community you’re in. With PSE, you sign and you follow the English order, while easily speaking at the same time. It is common between a deaf person and a hearing person that does not use sign frequently. So, if you, as a person do not know sign fluently, and you’re communicating with a deafie, PSE would be a common practice to use. I mean it’s been years since I’ve used sign language, and I am hoping someone else with more knowledge can step in to help me out. But all in all, I feel like it depends on who you’re signing with. Thank you for asking! Hope this helps a bit. -Amanda

[elescritora]

Except the facial expression adds a whole extra level of meaning. It's not just 'lesbian', it's 'weird lesbian', 'wtf lesbian', 'deeply concerned lesbian' etc - whatever the context of the sentence pushes the facial expression + hand sign to mean in that circumstance.

Really, it doesn't meant lesbian at all, unless you're a signer and you're using the emoji that way. I can see the odd Deafie sending it back and forth. Otherwise, it's just coincidence.