#deadpool could handle it AND ask questions
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chaos0pikachu · 6 months ago
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the (mcu) avengers could NOT handle the fact that eddie is basically living out a live action tentacle hentai every thursday through sunday and sometimes on wednesday if he feeds venom tator tots okay?
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spicyspiders · 3 months ago
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wind resistance
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wolverine x male reader smut
593 words
inspired by the scene in deadpool and wolverine where wolverine puts his cowl on and deadpool asks him about the wind resistance on his blowjob handles
“Won’t this stain your suit?” You asked, perched atop his chest. 
“I’ll clean it,” Logan grunted, his gloved hands digging into your hips. 
“Well,” you responded as you moved one hand to your cock, “if you’re sure,” you said as you moved you stroked your hard cock slowly. 
“Fuckin’ c’mere,” Logan said, his warm breath puffing over the head of your cock. His fingers moved from your hips to the globes of your ass to grasp each cheek in his hands. He pulled your body forward to get his mouth around your cock, the wetness hot and slick around the length.
Your head fell back with a breathy moan from the heat around your cock. Another fell from your lips, this one louder than the first when Logan took you deeper. You placed shaky hands on Logan’s head once he had you all the way down to the root, his nose pressed to your pubic bone. 
Your body curved forward when Logan groaned around your cock, the vibrations going straight to your balls. You couldn’t see his eyes through the mask, but still tried to look into them only to be met with white. You still found them kind of creepy, though in the moment you were too busy being turned on to feel creeped out. 
“I want you to grab them,” Logan said against your mouth minutes before your cock was in his mouth. 
“What? These?” You questioned, your thumb running along the dark cover along one of his eyes. “They look sharp,” you said as you poked your finger on the sharp tip.
“I’ll kiss it better if you get cut,” Logan responded with a chuckle before he pulled your finger to his lips to kiss the pad.  
“Logan,” you moaned, gripping onto what you earlier heard Deadpool call blowjob handles. You didn’t expect the feeling of control you felt as you used them to push and pull Logan’s mouth along your cock. 
Logan breathed heavily in and out of his nose, making you worry that you were being too rough. Logan, however, didn’t let you pull away, his hands tightening around your asscheeks so you couldn’t get away. 
With his enhanced senses, you wondered what you tasted like. It must have been good enough that he was moaning around your cock after you felt a drop of precum leak from the head. 
You could feel your orgasm approach aided by the tight, wet clench of Logan’s throat. It washed over your body when it finally came, and below you, you could feel Logan swallow down the ropes of cum that shot from your cock. 
Logan moaned around your cock as he swallowed the salty taste, his tongue digging into the slit of your cock to get all that he could out. Your soft cock fell from his mouth once he was satisfied, his tongue greedily poking out to lick his lips.
“Want me?” You asked once you’ve found your voice again, your fingers skimming along the bulge in his suit. 
Logan didn’t answer, instead, he got you flipped over onto your back with his lips pressed to yours. He moaned into your mouth when his tongue met yours, and your cock gave a twitch when your taste on his tongue met yours. 
“Help me get this thing off,” Logan said after he pulled free from the kiss, already pushing the blowjob handles off his face. Deadpool would be proud that you now thought of them as such, but you weren’t too sure if Logan would be happy to know that.
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storiesforallfandoms · 3 months ago
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shared trauma ~ logan howlett; marvel
word count: 3466
request?: no
description: in which she sneaks away to help them return home, and ends up bonding with the brute with knives in his hands
pairing: logan howlett x female!reader
warnings: swearing, some deadpool & wolverine spoilers, trauma bonding, wade wilson being wade wilson, a good ending
masterlist (one, two, three)
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Getting out of Cassandra's compound wasn't as hard as the Others thought. Not when you shut up and played by her rules. She trusted everyone who worked under her enough to let us come and go as we pleased, mainly because she knew we were scared enough of Alioth to come back and be under her control.
The Others also weren't as hidden as they thought. At least, not from me. Lucky for them, I was the only telepath in Cassandra's army, because Johnny's mind gave away everything about the Others without even knowing I could hear him.
When it got dark and mostly everyone had turned in, I snuck out of the compound. I could see the hiding place of the Others in my head, and I knew it would take me a long time to get there on foot, but I needed to get there. There was something about these variants - this Deadpool and this Wolverine - that was different. They may be the key to my freedom from Cassandra. Maybe to all of our freedoms.
I travelled for so long that my legs burned and I felt like I was going to pass out, but I got there. Immediately I was hit with the sounds of several brains, all thinking about a plan to take down Cassandra. All except one, but it was hard to make out what was going on in that head over the wounds of everyone else. I pushed into the place, a silence falling over the room as they heard me enter. I winced with every step I took down the stairs. When I appeared in the doorway, I was greeted by a barrage of weapons.
"Whoa!" I exclaimed, putting my hands up.
"You're one of hers," Blade stated.
"I came alone," I insisted. "I...technically snuck out."
"How did you find us?" Elektra asked.
"Let's just say Johnny Storm's mind was just as loud as his mouth. Look, I'm not here to hurt you guys. I'm here because I think those two - " I nodded to Deadpool and Wolverine " - may be who we need to take Cassandra down."
"And why would you want to take down Cassandra?" Blade questioned. "She's your leader."
"Not by choice. I followed her because I knew it meant survival. But I'm telling you, I see something with those two. I'm clairvoyant as well as a telepath, and when those variants were with Cassandra I could see a fight that ended with her downfall."
The group shared a look. Well, all besides the Wolverine, who was halfway through a bottle of whiskey. He seemed to be ignoring everything going on. I realized his mind was the one I couldn't hear. It was almost like he was trying to block out any thoughts. Not because of me, but because he didn't want to have to think those things.
"We could use a clairvoyant," Elektra pointed out.
"This reading you got form us," Deadpool said. "Did you see all of us winning?"
I shook my head. "It doesn't work like that. Some scenarios aren't definitive, and some are. I saw that we'd fight her, but after that there's a number of different ways it could go. All I saw for sure was that Cassandra was taken down and everyone in the Void was finally free from her reign."
"Sounds like a shit power," Wolverine muttered.
"She could tell us how to avoid the bad paths," Elektra said.
My legs were starting to ache in a way I couldn't handle for much longer. "Can you guys make a decision soon? I walked all the way here and my legs feel like they're about to snap off."
The group, minus Wolverine, shared another look before X-23 - Laura - nodded and said, "We'll give you a bed. Once you're rested, we'll come up with a plan."
~~~~~~
I laid awake that night while everyone else was asleep. We had come up with a plan to attack Cassandra's compound, one that should be mostly successful for everyone if the input from my visions helped at all. Everyone else had gone to bed with hope of a successful mission at sunrise, but I was wide awake with thoughts of going against Cassandra. Unlike everyone else, I had been part of Cassandra's team for a very long time. I had seen the things she did to people who opposed her. Despite the fact that my visions should give us a leg up in this fight, I was still scared of the consequences if we lost.
There was a stir in the air that told me someone was awake. I heard movement and the sound of a glass bottle being picked up. Logan didn't notice as I rolled over to face him. He was already walking up the steps and out of the hideout. It took me all of ten seconds to decide to follow him. This Wolverine may have been a grumpy Gus, but trying to speak with him would be way better than laying in the silent room struggling to sleep.
I followed him into the woods, where he had already started a small fire. He was sat next to it, hunched over with a bottle of Gambit's whiskey. I was shocked there was any whiskey left at this point, but who was I to judge someone else's coping mechanism.
His back straightened when he heard me approaching. "I don't want company."
"Good thing I'm not here to keep you company," I said, sitting next to him but keeping enough space between us. "I'm here to see if you'll share the liquor you're stealing."
To my surprise, he willingly gave me the bottle without hesitation. I took a big mouthful, which proved to be a bad idea when the harsh liquid burned my throat. I winced at the burn and gagged once I had it swallowed. Logan let out a low chuckle. "Not your usual drink of choice, huh?"
"Actually, I've never drank," I responded, passing the bottle back to him. "I was pruned before I was legal drinking age, and Cassandra doesn't have alcohol at her base."
"You nervous to fight your boss tomorrow?"
"She's not my boss. I'm not part of her team by choice. I already said that. You saw Alioth, you saw what he can do. I was young, I was scared, and she promised to keep me safe."
There was a pause. I wouldn't look at him. I knew coming here was a risk. I knew they wouldn't completely trust me. I just wished they would understand I only sided with Cassandra to stay safe and alive.
Logan broke the silence when he asked, "How young?"
"What?"
"You said you were young, below the legal drinking age. How young?"
"I was a teenager," I responded. "Mid-teens, I think."
"What does a teenager do to get themselves sent to this hell hole?"
I shifted in my seat. No one had ever asked me my backstory before, so I never had to reveal what I was most ashamed to admit. "Do you have Hydra in your universe?"
He nodded. I sighed and said, "My parents...they worked for Hydra. They...they let those Hydra scientists experiment on me. Trying to recreate something as powerful as the serum that created Captain America. Except, instead of making me super strong, it gave me the ability to read minds and see the future. Weirdly enough, the TVA doesn't like anyone that can change the future."
"They didn't get you to join them? Seems like your powers would've been perfect for a time variance agency."
I chuckled humorlessly. "That's not how the TVA works."
"You were a kid."
"That's not how the TVA works."
When he didn't respond, I found myself becoming aware of the silence. Like, of the actual silence. I couldn't hear a single thing Logan was thinking. No one could truly block me out. At least, no one I had met. Not even Cassandra could keep me out completely. I looked over at Logan, trying to focus on him, but still I couldn't hear anything.
"I don't like people poking around in my brain, bub."
I smiled a little. "I can't help it usually, but your brain is weirdly silent. No thoughts, Wolvie?"
"They're none of your business."
I left it at that. Despite my abilities, I wasn't one to pry into other people's thoughts. I heard things by accident, but I wasn't searching through people's heads for their trauma. Actually, it was nice to not have Logan's voice in my head. It was true silence that I had not had in years.
"Are you really not coming with us?" I asked him.
"I'm not a hero," he responded.
"You sure about that?" I eyed his yellow suit. "It's not about being a hero, though. It's about going home."
"There is no home for me to go back to."
His mental walls cracked for just a moment then. I could hear something coming from his mind; the faint calling of his name. No, not calling. Screaming. It was multiple voices, but it was just a faint whisper to me. At the same time, an image came through in his mind. It was a woman with red hair and brown eyes. We didn't have any variants of her come through the Void before, but I had recognized her from the minds of other X-Men who I had crossed paths with: Jean Grey.
Just as quickly as those thoughts slipped out, Logan managed to pull them back in. I wasn't sure if he was hiding them from me or from himself, but either way they were gone. I could tell from the look on his face that he knew I had heard something, and he was not very happy that I had.
"You don't have to tell me," I said, my voice soft. "Or...or show me. But whatever it is going on that has you like this, I'm sorry it happened."
His face was hard as stone, but I could see in his eyes that there was a flux of emotions.
"I lost people," he admitted. "Everyone I loved in my universe. It was my fault and...I just couldn't live with that. I did things...things I regret. Things that could never bring those people back."
"You could be reunited with them in another universe."
He shook his head. "It won't be the same. Every other universe already has a Wolverine. The only one that doesn't is the Mouth's, and that's because he died. I couldn't go back there and put them through seeing me and opening up old wounds. Besides, I don't think I could see them again either. Too much guilt."
I could see Jean's face again, just for a moment, before she was gone again. I could feel Logan's grief; his guilt. The more he opened up, the more his mind became easier to read.
I moved closer to him. Not by much, just an inch to test the waters. When he didn't react, I moved closer again until the space between us was almost completely closed. He looked up at me, but for once he didn't have that scowl on his face. He looked curious by my actions more than anything. I didn't try to push his boundaries any further than just being close to him.
"Good people do bad things sometimes," I told him. "It doesn't make you a bad person."
"I'm no hero, kid," he pointed out.
I shrugged. "Neither am I. None of us are here. But that doesn't mean you can't become a hero."
I wasn't sure if it was the whiskey, the fire, or just how close I was to Logan, but I felt a rush of heat washing over my body. I knew I was definitely feel the effects of the alcohol because I was swaying involuntarily. I started to lean in closer to him, but tried to stop myself as best I could. He seemed amused by it, at least, which made me smile more.
I let out a yawn and stood. I stumbled a little, causing Logan to reach out for me to steady me.
"Are you gonna be able to get back on your own?" he asked.
"I think so, but if you see me passed out along the way do me a favor and carry me back," I said. He chuckled and I tried not to beam too much about it.
I started to walk away, or more like stumble I guess, when Logan called, "Did you see me there tomorrow? In your visions?"
I turned back to him and responded, "Maybe. You'll figure that out tomorrow."
~~~~~~
Good news is, the battle at Cassandra's hideout went well. We took down every one of her cronies, and when Cassandra had left with the army of Deadpools to go to Deadpool-10005's universe, we commandeered her place to keep us safe from Alioth.
Bad news is, Wolverine and Deadpool got out, but the rest of us didn't.
No one really seemed upset over that fact. I mean, besides Laura, who was already missing the variant of Logan ("He may not have been my dad, but he was a version of dad," she had said when she realized he had left without her). Blade, Elektra, and Gambit were more proud of themselves for saving the day, even if it meant not going back to their own realities. I guess I was happy to no longer be under Cassandra's control, too, but I found myself wishing I could've left this place too.
And I found myself dreaming about Logan.
Well, partially dreaming. Some of them were visions.
It's not hard to differentiate between dreams and visions. I don't often get visions when I sleep, but when I do I can feel that they're visions. It's hard to explain other than that. Some nights I found myself dreaming of us by the fire again, except this time I allowed myself to get close enough to Logan to touch him. It very rarely went further than my shoulder against his, sometimes my head against his shoulder. But the visions I had were us together in an apartment I didn't recognize. At first they were all the same - me, Logan, and Wade living domestically in some apartment in New York. Laura was there once too, but only one time.
But then once the vision ended with Logan's arm around my waist and his lips against my forehead. I had woken up with a start before anything else happened.
It was the only vision that showed me with him romantically, but I knew deep down inside of me that that's what I wanted. I mean, Logan is an attractive man. No one could deny that. I may have only known one version of him briefly, but still it was enough to leave me longing for his presence again.
It was just another new normal day in the compound previously owned by Cassandra - I was in my own room reading one of the few books Cassandra had somehow found and kept - when an orange door shaped portal opened. I recognized it as a TVA portal. I sat up quickly, my guard high as I waited for a TVA agent to walk through.
But it wasn't an agent.
It was Logan.
"Come on, kid," he told me. "I'm taking you home."
He didn't have to tell me twice. I was up off my bed and through the portal. I expected to be brought to the TVA first, but I was surprised to find myself in a small apartment.
The apartment from my visions.
I looked around, taking in every detail of the place that I had already seen in my head before. Everything was there, from the pictures to the crude drawings Wade had stuck to the fridge, to the mattress in the middle of the living room where Logan slept. Everything from my visions.
"This..." I said, but paused before I finished the sentence. Did I tell him I had been seeing this place? Did I tell him that I had been seeing us?
When I didn't say anything further, Logan said, "I know it's not your home. But...I wasn't sure if you'd want to go back there."
"I don't," I said quickly. And it was true, I never wanted to go back there. After what my parents had done to me, it was almost a blessing to be sent to the Void. Besides being forced to do Cassandra's bidding.
Logan nodded. "Okay. So...well...welcome. You can stay here as long as you want. It'll take some time to get used to actual society again, I'd assume. The Mouth lives here too - "
As if on cue, the front door opened and there stood Wade, being followed by the mut I once knew as Dogpool.
"Ah! You got the girl!" he said, ushering the dog into the apartment and kicking the door shut behind him. "Finally, he can shut up about seeing you again."
Logan's face turned a shade of red I never expected to see from The Wolverine. "Wade, shut the fuck up."
"What? I'm just saying you've been brooding around this place for ages because we had to leave her behind. You finally have her back. Oh, and Laura! You guys can be one big, happy, fucked up family."
I looked over at Logan. "Laura's here?"
"Not staying with us, but she is in this universe," Logan said. "The TVA agreed to let us save you guys from the Void. Gambit, Elektra, and Blade are all gone back to their own universes now."
"Hopefully one where Gambit can find a better dialect coach," Wade added. "And you get to stay here with us! Isn't that just great? You get to share a bed with Wolvie."
"Only if you're comfortable with that," Logan quickly added, shooting another glare at Wade.
"Of course she'll be fine with that. Better than sharing a bed with Blind Al. Actually, can we switch? I'd much rather cuddle up to the greatest showman."
Logan raised a fist to Wade and unsheathed his claws. It was enough for Wade to finally stop running his mouth and scurry off to his room, the dog following closely behind him. Logan pulled his claws back in and let out a long sigh.
"I'm sorry, I know this is a lot to take in at once," he said. "It's a lot of explaining."
"I can figure it out, I'm sure," I said. "Thank you for saving me."
"I should be thanking you."
I raised an eyebrow at him. "I didn't do anything."
"After our talk by the fire, I realized you were right. I was letting the shit I did get to me for too long. I forgot who I was, or who Charles wanted me to be. I just needed a little push from a different mind reader."
I smiled at him. "You just needed someone to tell you you're not a bad person. It's insane to me that no one had done that before I did. Just cause you did bad things didn't mean you were ever a bad person."
There was a pause, then suddenly I was being pulled towards him. Before my mind could comprehend what was happening, Logan's lips were against mine. His hands were holding my face, holding me to him. It took my brain a few seconds to register what was going on before my hands were reaching for his shirt, holding him as well.
Our moment was swiftly interrupted by a familiar merc exclaiming, "Finally!"
Logan pulled away from me to glare at Wade over my shoulder. I heard the bedroom door slam shut again.
He looked down at me. "I'm sorry that you will have to put up with that."
I giggled. "I guess it's a small price to pay if it means I get to kiss you more."
His smile was so beautiful. It really brightened his face after all the brooding and scowling I had seen him doing before. "I'll kiss you as much as you want, bub. Just gotta make sure Wade is locked away in his room if you want it to be any more than kissing."
"Awe, no fair!" came Wade's voice.
Logan and I shared a look before Logan said, "Maybe we start looking for an apartment of our own."
The suggestion caused my mind to fill with another vision: Logan and I in a small place similar to this one, but one that was just our own. The two of us tangled in sheets, completely naked, with the glow of the sunrise spiling through the blinds onto us.
I smiled, both at the vision and at Logan. "I would love that."
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bravetimetravellingaussie · 3 months ago
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And it feels like home
Chapter 1
Summary: Peter Parker is minding his own business when along comes the merc with a mouth, shenanigans will ensue
Warnings: foul language, it's got deadpool in it? I think that works as it's own warning
Possible spoilers, Spider-man: No Way Home, and Deadpool and Wolverine
"Where are you getting the guns from?" Spider-man stood on the edge of a towering building, holding onto a a thin white piece of web, from the end of which hung a flailing and terrified criminal.
"Agh!! Shit shit shit shit shit! I don't know! I don't fucking know! Shit! Please! Come on man, let me go!"
"If you say so." Spider-man let go of the web for a second, letting the man fall a couple of metres before catching the web again.
"OKAY LOOK MAN I'LL FUCKING TELL YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW JUST PLEASE PUT ME BACK ON THE GROUND BACK ON THE GROUND PLEASE DONT DROP ME!"
"Thought so."
Since the disappearance of Peter Parker, the man behind the mask didn't have to put in any effort to make himself sound older. He also scarcely had to ask the same question more than twice. He rarely had the patience to ask a third time, and he could barely find the willpower to restrain himself from violence by the fourth.
It scared him sometimes how much he yearned for an excuse to punch people these days.
Peter Parker shifted the sleeve of his suit to check his watch as he slung through the city on his way back home after a long night of doing what he hoped was good enough to be considered superhero work.
3 am.
Peter groaned. He could feel how tired he was going to be for the rest of the day already.
"I fucking hate Mondays."
"Welcome to McDonald's, how can I help you?" Peter could barely keep his eyes fully open they were so dry.
"Hi, Tom, I'd like someone to drop a skincare routine that actually works for me and to get a job that pays well enough for me to move out of my mom's house so I can have fun time in the night time with my boyfriend without her screaming at us to shut up already. I'd move in with my girlfriend but she's abroad right now and she's having some friends house sitting for her. I'd understand if she didn't trust me with her plants or something, but she doesn't even have plants! I think she might just not trust me. I got her shot one time and I don't think she's over it yet, even though she never got shot because of me, because I went back in time and fixed that."
Peter glanced at his name tag that had 'PETER' written on it in bold letters. Then he looked back up at the man wearing leather from head to toe. It might have been red originally, but Peter couldn't help but wonder if it had been stained red by the multitude of wounds the man had all over his body, bullet wounds and stab wounds, slashes a gashes. The worst of which seemed to be the man's freshly amputated hand.
"McDonald's welcome help you how?"
"Oh, right, I'm sorry, your customer service voice is so soothing and therapeutic. Shame they don't let you speak in your mother tongue, they know it'd be too much for the world to handle." The man leaned his elbows on the counter and rested his head in his hand, kicking one leg up.
Blood dripped from the man's wrist down onto the counter, but Peter was so sleep deprived all he could think about was how he was gonna have to clean that up.
"Alright! I'd like a big meal, big mac with fries and coke. I do mean the drinking kind, unfortunately, damn that Feige guy, Blind Al has a bone to pick with him after the bullshit she had to go through for Deadpool and Wolverine." The man chuckles. "You know how it is."
Peter would have said, no, I really don't, but for all the weird shit he'd encountered in his life, this was just about the strangest.
"I'd pay for this, but I don't carry my wallet in my work pants. I think this is gonna have to be on the house, you'll do that for me, wontcha Tommy, my bestest friend in the whole wide multiverse?" The man didn't want for an answer before taking the paper bag that had just been placed on another counter and running out of the store, waving at Peter through the glass once he was outside.
"Sir, that- sir that wasn't... That wasn't your order, sir- that was not your order," one of Peter's coworkers said quietly beneath her breath as she stared after the man in red.
Everyone else in the McDonald's seemed to have been similarly entranced. Somewhere a child was crying.
"I'm taking a sick day," Peter said to no one in particular.
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saturnzskyzz · 28 days ago
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𝙲𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜
𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎: 𝙰 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎
Word count: 2,009
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Warning: Mature audiences only, you have been warned | inappropriate jokes and comments (you know how deadpool is) this is just fiction
𝙰/𝙽: 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍?? 𝙸 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁!! 𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙷𝙷𝙷!!! 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘.. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 😟. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚗-𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚌!! 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!! 𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚄𝙿 𝙶𝙰𝙽𝙶!!!
Summary: Wade drags Logan along to a very long car ride followed to be his personal Uber, and best friend, to visit new Mexico for a week. Upon reading articles on the Google home page-wade- he realizes that a certain individual looks familiar from an article he read one time. So, he strikes a very interesting conversation with said individual, and finds something quite interesting and intriguing!
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The sound of a new Honda Civic driving on an empty road could be thought of as two heroes sitting in the front seats of the driving vehicle. With the passenger jamming out to the music, and the driver peacefully in his thoughts while concentrating on the road; It was truly a cinematic experience if the two had thought about this exact moment in third person.
"Ow! Would you be mindful of where you're playing your imaginary drum set, bub?" As if the sound didn't come from Hugh Jackman himself, Logan Howlett was shown in third person, forgetting the whole "cinematic third person view" with the Honda Civic, which was what Wade- who hit the victim- had thought about.
"Oopsie daisy! It's like these drumsticks have a mind of its own, huh?" Wade huffed out a breath as he continued to slam his hands in the air to play what was heard on the radio.
Logan nodded his head disapprovingly like a father, and just continued on with the road. The peace continues.
It's not everyday that they have these peaceful drives like this. Other than when they were having to drive to where the facility of where their timelines were controlled and kept under surveillance as to not be disturbed by any high powerful GOD. Yeah, that may be pushing it. Anyway, The point is that Wade and Logan, though the claw handling mortal didn't want to admit it, they were glad they had this long drive again. The beauty of nature was an A+.
"You need to tell them why we're on the road, silly!" Wade blurted out as he was now turned, facing the back seats like he was talking to passengers.
"The fuck is you lookin' at back there, Wade?" Logan questioned, yet not really wanting to know the reason since he's trying to drive to- Oh,, right!
The reason why they were on the road is because Wade decided it would be a lovely idea to have the two take a break from their old apartment, and take a vacation over to New Mexico!
The beaches there looked lovely from the Google pictures Wade had pulled up once, just once, so that was all the good reason as to why he wanted to drive there.. Or, to sit there. He made Logan drive.
"Damn right I did!" Wade blurted out yet again, causing Logan to almost jump in his seat, but luckily for his own embarrassment, he only flinched. "Bub, what the fuck are you saying right now?" Logan asked, getting annoyed with him now.
"Oh, sorry peanut! Just reacting to this fic that's currently being typed up. Anyways, nice driving skills by the way! Oscar made sure to bring up the fact that I'm the passenger princess." Wade confidently said, pulling down the sunshade to look at himself in the mirror for some extra dramatics.
Logan glanced at him before looking back at the road in utter confusion. "Wade, you practically forced me to drive, you're not a,, Passenger- whatever you just fuckin' spurred up in your little head. And by the way, I don't trust you behind the wheel."
Wade did a dramatic gasp by that, clutching his imaginary pearls, he whipped his head to look at Logan with almost daggers for eyes. "How dare you not trust me! I am a veeeery trustworthy person, as a matter of fact."
Logan gave Wade a very interesting "oh yeah?" as to let the younger know he's allowed to rant.
"Yes, "oh yeah?"! I am such an oh yeah, trustworthy person: Yukio once left me alone in the X-Men building for half an hour to come back to the place all spiff and span! Not only that, Colossus let me hold one of his very expensive vases all because I wanted to look at it. He let me HOLD IT while looking at it, isn't that a whole lot of trust thrown into one basket?"
Logan chuckled at that. "First off, the only reason she came back to the X-Men building to a very clean interior is because you had trashed it before she even came back. And I don't mean a little trash; you had the whole place covered with things on the ground, broken, and even the walls looked terrible in the pictures you sent me. You had Colossus' help as well as mine and somehow blind Al's help to clean up the entire place in under 15 minutes- which you got scolded for by Colossus afterwards. And for the record, Yukio came back after 30 minutes because she was supposed to be gone for 2 hours helping her girlfriend with whatever they were doing, but I told her about the mess."
Again, Wade had gasped by the betrayal. He was going to bark back in retaliation but Logan had cut him off.
"I'm not done, bub. for the vase, I found that ugly thing in the trash two weeks after the fact that you had had a small obsession with it; which tell me Wade, why was it in the trash all broken up in various sizes of pieces?" Logan asked with a smug look on his face meaning "gotcha" which knowingly pissed Wade off.
"The only reason it was broken in the trash is because Mary Puppins knocked it over when she visited the place with me one morning. Colossus somehow doesn't know about that yet." Wade explained defeatedly. He crossed his arms to emphasize his defeat and frustration.
"No. He knows." Logan corrected. Still with that fucking smug look on his face, like who is this guy?
"How does he know?!" Wade looked at him in shock, desperately waiting for an answer.
"Cuz I told him, you wuss puss."
Damn, was that a jaw to the ground in betrayal². "You mother fucking, cock sucking, animal hating, snitch bitch!" Wade couldn't believe it. Like seriously, who snitches on their best friends?!
"Another thing, those examples were not what I was looking for. I said trustworthy in driving, not just whatever popped into that small skull of yours you call a brain." Logan emphasized that with a finger to Wade's temple, pushing at his head slightly to get his comedic relief friend to be even more ticked off.
"I can't believe you.. How do you go and snitch on your best friend? I'm your homeboy- we're like this!" Wade stuttered out as he crossed his pointer and middle finger to shove it in Logan's face.
"Wade, you're not my- get your hand out of my face, I'm driving here!" Logan said quickly, as he pushed at the offending hand that butted in his personal space.
"What were you gonna say, sweet cheeks? Were you gonna say that I'm not your best friend?" Wade looked at Logan all sad now.
"No, that's not what I.. Friend is a stretch in itself, pal. I appreciate the offer of me moving in with you and Al, but it's been a few years. you know..? Give it some time." Logan explained the best he could. As embarrassing as he worded it, which most likely ruined a bit of his ego, but he had trust issues.
"Just like the author said, you have trust issues, peanut." Wade said in a not-so-sad tone now. He went for crossing his arms again and looked out the window this time.
The car goes silent for a moment, much to Logan's relief since he's driving, and because he wanted to ignore his comment. They got a little over an hour left before getting into New Mexico, so hopefully the car ride ends up being dead silent until then.
. . .
"So about you not trusting my driving-" Wade was about to go on another unimportant rant before he got smacked over the mouth.
"Not. A. Word." Logan said carefully, never once keeping his eyes off the road again.
Wade had wanted to bite back with a sexual comment, but decided not to as he quite wanted his mouth open and not stapled. Yes, his mouth was stapled shut by Logan before.
. . .
Eh, on second thought.
"I'll have you know that my driving skills are immaculate!" Wade said through muffled lips.
"Oh yeah? Then take the fuckin' wheel." Logan said, letting go of the wheel as he was turning. This caused Wade to panic, and roughly took the wheel to make a sharp turn, almost hitting a tree when by passing, but successfully missed it by a smidge.
"What the fuck?!" Wade shouted, looking at Logan then quickly retreating his eyes back on the road.
Logan crossed his arms this time, pulling off his smug face as he looked down at Wade. "We almost hit that tree back there."
"Oh, you think?! You decided to let your masculinity be free while I'm over here trying to not get hit- by the way, it's very hard keeping an eye on the road while in this position.. You sure you didn't just do this because you wanted me to take a whiff of your dick? Because it smells atrocious, you should shower when we get to New Mexico."
Logan uncrossed his arms at that comment and violently pushed Wade out of the way so he could continue on with driving. "Nope. You're way too anxious, and you don't fully concentrate while driving: Remember that one time you drove into town and almost swerved into a pole all because a bird hit your side of the window?"
Wade chuckled at the memory even if it wasn't the best thing to ever happen. "Look, I get jumpy when I'm not expecting things like birds when driving. It's the animal's fault for bumping into my window. Honestly, if I had hit that pole, it should be that fuck ass pigeon who would pay for our expenses." Wade argued.
"Yeah, like that's a possibility. Don't forget the time you looked at a building for more than 5 seconds causing us to pass a red light." Logan said with a growl. That memory still pissed the Wolverine off.
"Oh yeah, ha! How could I forget you being generous to me for once?" Wade awed at the memory.
Logan was not pleased by that answer. "I had to pay for your ticket so then Al wouldn't have had to pay for it herself. I didn't do it for you, I did it for her. God knows how much money she has left with how much you steal from her. And I'm not talking about the money." Logan pointed at Wade then, almost instantly catching him pulling out a small bag of white powder with letters written on it.
"Wade.. Don't fuckin' tell me you stole her cocaine again?! As soon as I say something about you stealing, you just casually pull it out?!" Logan shouted.
"I can casually pull out something else if you really want me to." When Wade looked at Logan expecting an annoyed comment, all that Logan did was look at him with disgust. "Look, I only pulled this out to gain a reaction from you for the viewers who's reading right now. Hey viewers!" Wade turned to face the back seat once again. This caused Logan to look back twice, only to be met with empty seats.
"Jesus- Wade, you make no sense whatsoever whenever I'm with you. It drives me insane sometimes." Logan breathed out, exhausted by all the talking suddenly. (Ahh, don't you just love a social battery?)
Wade looked at Logan and then out the car window to see a sign that says "Welcome to New Mexico!"
"Hey look! We made it, honey. Time to go visit the kids, huh?" Wade said excitedly, earning a scoff from Logan.
Once again, Wade is picturing the car in third person view, as he imagines the car drifting away from the camera, as the welcome sign appears in front. After a while, the screen will start to fade and soon it all goes black, waiting for a new chapter to come.
"This is going to be a fun vacation."
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neonscandal · 11 months ago
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As a fan of both bnha & jjk, can I ask you somethings?
-which majority of characters will survive if their universe is swithed (jjk charas in bnha verse or bnha charas in jjk verse)
-people in jjk verse have stronger mental state than in bnha verse because the death rate is higher in jjk than bnha (do you agree?)
- from plot and art, which do you think is better (jjk or bnha)?
-dynamics between bakudeku or satosugu, which is written better as a duo? why?
I asked this because in twitter I found a jjk fan and bnha fan have a heated discussion to prove which is better, and that's why I want to know your opinion, thanks.....
I feel like I'm getting tagged in. Excuse me while I stretch before I jump into this. As always, thank you for the ask! ❤️
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Put me in the game, coach!
DEADPOOL
Please. If JJK characters' cursed techniques were quirks, they'd all be alive and going to amusement parks and eating crepes.
In the reverse, Midoriya would be a Yuta like drop in considering all of his techniques, maybe, and most of Class 1A would be wiped. Hell, I think we can all agree there are students in Class 1A that shouldn't even be in Class 1A (this is a Minoru Mineta call out, at the very least). But that's also why Jujutsu Tech has a class size that hasn't exceeded 4 students that we've seen. I could see Midoriya, Shinso (cursed speech user), and Tokoyami (shikigami user) in a class. With Todoroki (legacy family + technique) and Bakugo (Todo-esque brute force regardless of technique) over at Kyoto. I'm not saying they'd all survive but I could see it.
MENTAL ACUITY
I think trauma, or one's ability to handle a breadth of it, isn't based on the trauma itself. Even if Midoriya had never experienced loss, he'd repeatedly experienced the inequities of systemic and social oppression from being quirkless compounded by a dad that seemingly peaced out. Kid took hit after hit before being able to have a shot at his dream which he then slowly realized wasn't as cut and dry as it seemed. He keeps on trucking though.
If anything, I think that most characters in JJK are a belt loop getting caught on a door handle away from losing their shit and becoming curse users because of the higher death toll. The students of class 1A might be slowly losing hope but Yuji is constantly swimming in sea of despair, survivor's guilt, and has a 1000 year old curse whispering obscenities to him. For all intents and purposes, kid should be on a watchlist. And you mean to tell me that Megumi "Watch What These Hands Do" Fushiguro is the picture of mental health??? Nah. Buddy has been looking for any opportunity to take a curtain bow with Mahoraga since day 1. Gojo meant what he said when he had to make sure Nobara was crazy in Season 1 because that's what it takes to be a sorcerer if you want to live. You have to be a little deranged so the losses don't take you down the same path as Geto or breed an even bigger problem by generating a curse. The only easy, breezy, beautiful cover girls in JJK are the villains as they are regularly shown to be leisurely enjoying the beach, soccer, mahjong... all while 16 year olds are fighting for their lives and losing.
WINNER TAKE ALL
Plot
Taking into consideration the fact that we're in late stage My Hero Academia and, at best, half way through Jujutsu Kaisen, I think MHA has it on plot. This take is based on being able to now, with most of the story having taken place, see how everything comes together, though. Bear in mind, even at the end of the story, we still don't know how things are going to play out. I've made a lot of wild accusations though (here, here, here, here, here and, inevitably, more are bouncing around my head). What's funny about this is the fact that, there's not really a question of how it's going to end in the grand scheme. We know that Deku will be triumphant in defeating or liberating Shigaraki. I think, through all his subversion, Horikoshi will still write a story where the good guys win. But the subtler details of how the story will end are what everyone's getting fired up about regarding BakuDeku and if anyone will die.
Regarding Jujutsu Kaisen's plot, as readers, we're still too lost in the forest of the culling games to understand the overarching reason. It's still a 5/5 in my book until proven otherwise but, from what we've seen, Gege Akutami buries details that are pertinent later. His exposition style is uniquely different from Horikoshi's (and Iseyama's for that matter). Moreover, Akutami knows how to illicit rage, angst, tears even in the midst of a multi page description of one man's cursed technique (yea, I'm talking about Hikari). They are a troll with a pen and I cannot take that away from them. So, I'm trusting in the process while also acknowledging that this story is not going to echo that of shonen series' before it. Gege Akutami could very well write the end of the human world as we know it, the entirety of the main cast dead, and I wouldn't even be surprised and I would read every. single. panel. Happily.
Art
Again, it's kind of unfair to compare the refined art of a series with 39 volumes versus 24 volumes especially when they stylistically differ so much. So, instead, I'll say what I appreciate for both.
Horikoshi's unique character design, even going so far as to use different illustration styles where appropriate circumvents the issue of Same Face Syndrome while also adding a lot of dynamic visual texture to the cast. Also, hands are like a big part of the story? Which he's managed to make a focal point where it matters. I will also say that he has, in recent chapters, delved into the horror aesthetic beautifully.
Gege Akutami is just a silly little guy. By that, I mean, there will be these AMAZING spreads or panels. Then, on the very next panel or page, there will be a silly lil doodle and it doesn't even feel out of place. In fact, it's very on par with Yuji as a character. I don't think this story is told from Yuji's limited perspective where MHA is largely from Deku's POV, but, when Gege breaks down the behind the scenes, it's broken down as if it's for someone as simple as Yuji. Stylistically gory but also humorous, there are definitely some chapters that are perhaps churned out faster than others, but the art still speaks for itself.
BATTLE OF THE SHIPS
This is a hard one in the sense that BakuDeku is being explored in real time, at length whereas SatoSugu we've only gotten wisps of even though they are, foundationally, what sets off the entire chain of events that sets the story for JJK. There's something to be said for wanting and I think what makes SatoSugu so compelling is truly the tragedy of it. Gojo lost his only equal, his everything (which Geto never thought himself to be) and Geto lost his everloving mind. MHA's whole story is hinged on BakuDeku but the brainrot for SatoSugu decays so poignantly because, while both series are effectively about child soldiers trying to stay alive, SatoSugu is the after. What happens when youth aren't protected, what do they lose?
FINAL VERDICT
Just because you can read them both in Shonen Jump does not mean they're a monolith.
Considering they aren't actually in the same genre, it makes no sense to compare the two. They may have some similarities. But that's like saying a horse is similar to a cow because they are animals with four legs and tails.
It makes more sense to compare JJK to the other two unhinged stories that make up the dark trio, "Chainsaw Man" or "Hell's Paradise: Jigokuraku" because the stakes are the same. Anyone can die. For the most part, there aren't miraculous revivals (like Best Jeanist and whoever else 👀).
A/N: I don't care, I know Nobara's coming back if only for Gege to kill her again.
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ultrainfinitepit · 1 year ago
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For your spider-sona, what do you think their canon event looks like? Or who is their uncle Ben figure?
That's a good question Anon! I've been thinking about this a little. My first Spidersona was Spider Knight, so in my head Spiderphim is the same character continuing on their character arc.
Spider Knight never knew their parents, all they knew was the knight who took them in and trained them to be his squire. This knight was Sir Benegar, whose pennant bore a spider that Spider Knight would ultimately take as their symbol. Sir Benegar served Lady Maybelle, who Spider Knight became close with and saw as their own mother just as Benegar was like a father.
Spider Knight lives in a medieval world where magic is real, demons plague humanity, and angels fight them but are rarely seen.
When Spider Knight was only sixteen, Benegar was killed in a battle with a formidable evil, a fly demon named Beelzebub. After that Spider Knight took up his shield and title. To protect themself against demons, who can consume the true names of mortals to gain control over them, Spider Knight hid their name and true identity, and went only as "Spider Knight."
For a while Spider Knight dealt with other threats: demons are far too powerful for a single knight to handle, especially one so inexperienced. They battled a fellow knight who had turned to evil, the Green Goblin Knight; a sinister Plague Doctor Oc; and even crossed paths with a mischievous swordsman named Deadpoole. Eventually Spider Knight grew strong enough to try and take revenge on the demon Beelzebub. They tracked him down, armed with a sword blazing with holy fire - and they failed catastrophically and died.
As Spider Knight stepped into the river of death, ready to drink the waters and forget their life, an angel appeared to them as a reflection in the water. Somehow Spider Knight knew this reflection was who they always were, who they were going to be, and yet someone else entirely. The angel asked for another chance, and Spider Knight agreed to give it. But a toll had to be paid first. Spider Knight sank into the water, whispered their true name and removed their mask. Their shield and broken sword disappeared into the depths. Everything went dark as they drowned.
When Spiderphim awoke on the funeral pyre, she brought the sunrise with her. Her new form was strange yet exciting, and very warm. By this time Beelzebub was long gone, but Spiderphim didn't mind too much, the chase would mean she could see the world through her new eyes, which were plentiful. And she could help so many people along the way!
So to answer your question Anon, it is Sir Benegar who is Spiderphim's Uncle Ben, and Spider Knight's own death is their canon event.
While I consider Spider Knight and Spiderphim to be the same person, it is less clear to Spiderphim who will surely go through some angst about if they are the same; or possessed by an angel who ate their name; or that same angel, who just has the memories of a person who burned away on the funeral pyre. I also envision some plot point where other angels show up because I like angels, and I think Spiderphim is very annoying and would like to see her annoy them.
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enderfics · 2 years ago
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safe.
// pre-established relationships. They're yet to be romantic or official but they have definitely been hardcore flirting before this.
Wade crawled through the little window and into the apartment. He had mastered the art of being quiet but cringed at the sound of the window slamming shut. Spinning around, he was glad to see the noise hadn’t disturbed the peace.
He was also glad to see Peter under a bundle of blankets on the sofa. The spider was safe. He had survived another night.
Wade was ready to leave now. He had come to check that the spider was good - safe - and now that was done, he could leave. But looking around the apartment, Wade discovered a new reason to stick around.
He definitely wasn't looking for an excuse to be with Peter Parker.
Silently, he tiptoed around picking up dirty dishes and cleaning the clutter. Every now and again, he looked over his shoulder to check that Peter was still asleep. The man snored gently and looked so comfortable. So Wade continued to potter, continued to clean and continued to check that Webs wasn’t awake.
He stepped back, hands placed on hips, to admire his work. Someone get this man a fucking maid dress because he’d done a great job. Webs was still, thankfully, asleep and Wade decided he’d definitely overstayed his welcome.
As he crept back to the window, the floor below him creaked. A loud, echoey creak that shook the entire flat. Fuck. His head whipped around to where Peter sat up bolt right. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes scanned the living room until they landed on Wade.
“What are you doing in my apartment?!”
Wade took notice of how hot Peter’s just-woke-up voice was and promised he’d break in once more to hear it again. Peter repeated his question, tone firm. Wade was suddenly glad that he came straight after patrol and that his mask covered his very flushed face.
“Hello to you too, sweetcakes.”
“Shut up. What are you doing here?”
Wade was NOT about to admit that tonight's job had been particularly gruesome and made him feel a weird type of anxious. He wasn’t about to admit that the anxiety had made him stress about the web slinger's safety, and to shut up the little voice in his head, he had to check that Peter was alive and okay.
“Deadpool?” Peter’s voice was sounding more normal - more awake- and Wade wanted to cry because he hadn’t heard it enough. He also wanted to cry because Peter didn’t say his real name.
To be fair, the arachnid didn’t know his name. He in fact didn’t know anything about the merc. Whilst wade had excellent stalking skills and regularly ignored boundaries, Spiderman was more respectful. And every time he had asked Wade about his identity, he had been quickly shut down. Wade liked his privacy, sue him.
“Why is my apartment clean?” Peter's voice was laced with confusion and he squinted at the man leaning on his window sill.
“I cleaned it, you’re welcome.”
“I know you didn’t break into my apartment to clean it. Why are you here?”
“Peter,” (Peter's face scrunched up - he hated how Wade said his name so confidently.) “Peter, maybe that's exactly why I broke into your house. I mean would it really surprise you?”
No, it wouldn’t. Wade knew it wouldn’t because that was exactly the type of thing he’d do. But Peter hadn’t broken eye contact and if he stared any longer, Wade would crumble and be violently honest. He wasn’t going to let that happen.
The only way to avoid that was by leaving. He turned back to the window and began to open it. Wade began to crumble when he felt arms gently wrap around his waist. Fuccck. He couldn’t do this. He was too weak to handle this.
“Peter…” Wade barely recognised his own voice, it was so quiet “Vulnerability isn’t really my thing.” He tried to pry the arms off him but they only squeezed tighter. He wanted to give in and let Webs hold him whilst he spoke about his night. Wade squeezed his eyes shut, praying for the strength to leave.
“Why are you in my apartment, Deadpool?” Peter’s voice was right in his ear and he could feel the warm breath on his neck.
“Wade.” Fuck.
Peter ran his hands over Wade’s waist and gently squeezed his hips.
“Why are you in my apartment, Wade?”
He let out a loud huff and leaned into Peter’s touch. Okay. He’d crumble.
Gently, Wade wiggled out of the hold and took Peter's hand. He led them to the sofa, where they sat. Wade confessed everything. He spoke about how shit his night was: the job had been rough, the victim was being difficult and before he planted a bullet in their head they had asked a favour.
After you kill me, please tell my partner I love her. I haven’t told her that enough.
Deadpool shot before the man could talk any longer.
Wade admitted that the job made him feel so, so anxious after. He admitted that the anxiety had made him stressed about Parker’s safety, and professed he had to check that Peter was alive and okay. He let out a shaky breath after he finished.
Hesitantly, Peter wrapped his arms around the merc embracing him in a tight hug. He was whispering into Wade's ear.
“It’s okay. I’m okay. I’m safe.”
↓↓↓
follow my twitter :CatJam:
https://twitter.com/endermars_
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twoidiotwriters1 · 1 year ago
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Copycat: Genesis —(Marvel Fem!Oc)
A/N: Pls pray for me so I can get tickets to the Eras tour 😭 also I watched Spider-verse I’m: unwell & I also really love this chapter -Danny
Words: 2,164
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xxviii: Homecoming
Cat decided to go and spend the night at Matt's place. The mutant left her apartment using everyday clothes, she'd been Copycat for almost two whole weeks. She also made a point to knock on his door instead of teleporting.
The man welcomed her in with a short laugh. She thought he'd be mad because she hadn't called, but he turned around and spoke to someone in his living room. "You guys are in luck!"
Karen and Foggy's voices came from inside the home causing Cat's heart to jump out of her chest. She beamed and jumped into Karen's arms squeezing her tightly. "Oh my god!"
"I'm so happy to see you!" The woman said. "Where have you been?" Her blue eyes landed on Cat's scars and her smile faltered.
"Take a seat, you have to eat with us it's the law," Foggy handed her a can of regular coke.
"You didn't call," Matt said, though he was smiling as much as the others.
"Well, I'm here," she replied. "Isn't that better?"
"Much better!" Karen exclaimed. "Are you in the mood for Mexican, or..?"
"Whatever you want. I haven't eaten, I was moving back in."
"Back where?" Matt asked promptly.
"The city," she smiled. "I'll stay here for a while."
He understood what she meant. "Good to hear."
"That's amazing! We're hiring, if you're interested," Foggy offered.
Matt laughed. "I don't think she'll have time to work as our secretary, Foggy."
"I'll think about it," she conceded. "But this means you're doing well, I hope?"
"It certainly takes up most of our time, we need someone to help us handle the office," Karen admitted. "I would love to work with you, but Matt's right, you have stuff going on."
The way they were all looking at Cat amused her. They all knew she wasn't a regular woman, but she doubted Karen had disclosed to Matt and Foggy what she suspected, and probably she didn't know about Foggy's discovery.
"Well, I just came back from a mission with Nightcrawler and now he's shipping Billy Russo to prison, so I have an empty schedule at the moment."
"Nice!" Foggy paused. "Wait." He looked at Karen, then at Matt. "She also knows?!"
Karen glanced at him. "You didn't?"
"How long have you known? Always?"
"Kinda," she shrugged. "Cat never confirmed it. I mean..." She looked back at the young woman and smiled. "Copycat?"
Cat laughed and nodded. "Yeah, that's me."
"How did you know?!"
Karen vaguely gestured at her. "Name and hair are kind of the same, only a different color... not like she tries to hide her face either—"
"She always wears that mask, what do you mean?" Foggy demanded.
"All you had to do was look into it," Karen insisted. "We came back and Matt had a new, younger friend with no connections, if you'd asked around you would've known Copycat was in the area during the blip, and Matt doesn't go out of his way to make friends."
The man frowned, grinning as he spoke. "I'm sociable enough."
"Sure you are, Matty," Karen patted the man's knee.
Cat opened her drink and downed it pleasantly. This was the nicest welcome she could've hoped for.
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"Well?"
"Russo's not a problem anymore."
"I'm assuming I'm off the hook?"
"You should still be careful. As the CEO—"
"I have my own paranoia to deal with, please stop. Have you talked to Happy?"
"That is one dumb question."
"He knows you're back."
"I expected no less."
"He wants to see you."
"Many people do," she sighed. "I miss him, but I can't visit everyone while Kraven is out there. I have to deal with that first."
"You're still thinking about a new team of Avengers?"
"Well, I know most heroes on earth," she shrugged. "I'll give them a call."
"Kurt called me."
"Did he mention Deadpool?"
"Who's Deadpool?"
"Why did he call you?" Cat changed the subject, she could only imagine the way he'd freak out if he knew about her friendship with the mercenary.
"He says that you liked living in the other universe."
She laughed. "I wonder why he thinks that. I just said it was nice."
"He says that you told him and it sounded like you wanted out of this one."
Cat rolled her eyes. "He's got it wrong!"
"Spider-man existed in that other universe," he added in that voice she'd always hated, the one he used when he was trying to win an argument.
"Yes."
"A Spider-man your age."
Her heart started racing. "I don't care, I don't see why you guys would. It's in the past."
"He was the reason you became who you are now, Stray. Losing him changed you," he pressed, and he wasn't wrong. "You've lost him too many times, it's okay to feel worn out about it when it keeps coming back like that—"
"I didn't lose him 'cause this Spider-man wasn't even mine, to begin with," she scowled. Why were her friends pressing on that subject? "Just because I told Kurt that I would go hang out with that other guy—"
"You are?"
"My point is," she raised her voice in annoyance. "I'm trying my best, Harley. You know how much I love running, but you two coming at me like I'm packing my bags is not helping."
The young man paused, whether he believed her or not she couldn't tell, but at least he sounded a little ashamed when he spoke. "That's not what we're doing. We want to make sure... We're listening."
"I see that," she replied, though she didn't think much about what he meant by that. "And I love you more than I've ever loved any Spider-man."
"I... would like to believe that," he said, and she could almost picture his wistful expression.
He and Kurt had to stop saying that, but she really couldn't blame them. The mutant was well aware of why she'd befriended Harley in the first place, back when she was eighteen. Whom he reminded her of, and even if he didn't remember the boy's name or face, he still knew Spider-man was at the core of everything.
"Keep me posted," he said before ending the call. "I'd like to know how things are going from time to time."
"Same goes for you," she murmured. "G'night, Junior."
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"You fought with your friends again?"
She pondered her response. "It isn't a fight when both sides are defending the same thing. They're trying to help, but the way they're doing it is not quite right... Though I change so often they can't keep up..."
"At least you don't decline their help, and I'm sure you're communicating better..."
"Matt," she warned him, and he let out a short chuckle.
"Right, you hate it when I do that... you used to love it when I pointed out the ways you were doing well."
"Looking for approval is no longer trendy," she joked. "I don't want people to treat me like this. I get why Tony got upset every time anyone clapped and cheered when he showed decency. It's a little humiliating."
Matt unbuttoned the first part of his shirt while walking toward his room. "Are you staying the night?"
Her eyes lingered on his back, then she shook her head. "No. I'm going back to my apartment... before I ruin my good streak of exemplary behavior."
He laughed, closing the sliding door so he could change. "Stay strong, Kitty."
She scowled and flipped him off even though there was a wall between them (he'd be able to tell anyway). Cat then seized her jacket and walked away from a half-naked Matthew.
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Peter had time to waste, and he asked Cat if she'd like to visit May's grave. They could go to Pietro's after. She agreed.
Peter showed up with a bouquet of white roses, he waved at her as she walked up to him. "I come every week, winter's over so I'll have to change her flowers more often, but if you want to leave some of your own you're welcome to..."
Cat looked up at the trees around them, they were greener than the last time she'd set foot in the cemetery, and it was a pretty sight. When Peter had buried his aunt, her memory had been erased, so she hadn't been there at the funeral, she felt a little guilty about it.
"How've you been holding up?" She asked him.
"I'm okay," he shrugged. "I'm in a hurry most of the time, don't get to sit and think about it. I guess that's good, it keeps me from getting sad."
"Do you have time to enjoy life, though?"
Peter laughed shortly. "Do you?"
Cat grinned. "When was the last time we hung out just to waste time?"
Peter squinted, trying to remember. "I go to a study group but sometimes we get bored and start playing Among Us?"
She snorted. "I don't think that counts."
He sighed. "It's something..."
"Better than nothing," she finished.
Peter stopped in front of his aunt and uncle's grave and stared at it with a pensive expression, he crouched and left the flowers in front of it. "I want to live a worthy life for them, C. That's all I care about." Cat tried not to, but a little giggle left her lips. Without being able to help it, she started laughing out loud. Peter looked up at her with annoyance. "What's so funny?"
"It's absurd," she shook her head. "I had the same conversation with Shuri and she said the same thing... more or less."
"What's wrong with that?" He frowned, still not understanding.
"It's perfectly normal, but what's hilarious is that when I went through it everyone acted like I was losing my goddamn mind for dropping my plans just to honor dead people. I remember you were outraged at the thought—"
"Yeah, yeah, shut up," he lowered his face in embarrassment. "I didn't know how it felt... to lose someone close to you because of what you do... it changes everything."
She patted his shoulder. "You handled it faster and better than I did. I mean, you didn't quit school, and you didn't go on a killing spree. I like to think you learned from me. Makes it all worth it." The word caused something like annoyance to raise up on her chest.
Peter nodded. "I did learn from you, C. I owe you a lot." He stared at his aunt's grave with a soft gaze.
"Worthy," she said, her mind still on the subject. "We throw that word around a lot, all of us," Cat made a face. "Do we even know what we're talking about? Why do we think that means living all alone and broken? Why do we treat that like it's something noble and not just cowardly and incoherent?"
Peter stared up at her curiously, he didn't have a proper answer to that. His mouth blurted out the second thought that came to him. "Any idea of where Kraven is?"
"Probably on his way," she said, eyes still absent. "I'll see him when I see him, I won't give him the pleasure to feel like I'm participating in the hunt."
"Don't you think you're giving him the benefit to take you by surprise? Isn't that a hunter's line of expertise?"
Cat sighed, looking back at him. "What am I supposed to do, Pete? I could go find him, but I don't know... feels like a waste of my time."
"Are you saying you have something better to do than to save your life?" He raised a brow.
"Regrouping the Avengers, finding a place where to train the new heroes... basically rebuild my home and make it better than it ever was," she nudged his leg with one foot. "Would you be interested in that?"
"In getting recruited, or training heroes?"
"Whatever you prefer."
He pondered the options. "Depends."
"On what?"
"If it's not in the city, I won't do it."
She raised a brow. "You sound sure."
"I am."
Cat nodded with an approving smile. "New York's lucky to have you."
"It has you, too."
"I don't stay in places long enough to consider they have me," she wrinkled her nose. "Not my thing."
"You've been here for a decade, though."
"In and out."
"And why do you always come back here?" Peter asked with genuine curiosity.
"I've been thinking about it," she said deep in thought. "I'm home, Peter. My body, and what I do with it. As for why I keep coming back..." Cat grinned. "All the cute people live here."
Peter snorted. "What about L.A? You could live there with Kate and Yelena..."
Cat grimaced. "I don't want to give her false hopes. She would convince herself that we could get back together, that I could have a life with her, she's always been a dreamer..."
"Right," he heaved a sigh. "Keep forgetting you think dreams are useless."
She mumbled a reply. "Not useless. Just unbearable..."
"Cat," Peter stood up again after leaving the flowers, a worried look on his face. "What are you waiting for, really?"
"Nothing."
"Uh-huh," he said, not believing her. "And I don't walk past MJ's coffee shop every day."
Cat looked at him with a smirk. "You do that?"
"I said I don't," he raised a brow, shoving her shoulder playfully as he walked past.
"You're a stalker," she chuckled, following him back to the entrance.
"It's getting late," Peter checked the hour on his phone. When he put it back, the young man placed his arm around her shoulders and walked alongside her, leaning his head on top of hers affectionately for a moment. "C'mon, time to see Pietro..."
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 6 months ago
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here are some other thoughts about the movie
the fact that Wolverine and company cause the Three Mile Island incident would, I guess, suggest that this movie takes place in 1979, assuming it happens at the same time as the real nuclear meltdown, but fuck if I could have guessed that otherwise. that movie could have taken place in 2009, the year it was released, and I'd only be mildly confused by the state of technology. does Wolverine seem like a man who has a phone? fuck no.
Gambit in particular was really dressed like a 21st century pickup artist, very skeevy. stupid little pervert hat. I kept expecting him to ask some woman if she wanted to see a magic trick but that would require letting any woman other than Wolverine's dead girlfriend have speaking lines.
also is she. I mean. her last name is Silverfox and she tells Wolverine a little First Nations story that parallels the plot of the movie but like. I mean her sister is Emma Frost, apparently. I mean I know there are extremely light-skinned and white-passing First Nations and Native people but like. what's her deal. also unrelated to her questionable ethnicity I though it was very funny that Wolverine, who has been to war several times and definitely knows what a dead body looks like, didn't even notice that she was only pretending to be dead. there literally wasn't a single wound on her. she was just laying in the grass covered in blood, no injuries. and then he just left her there??? to go fight his brother??? who somehow killed her by throwing blood on her??? HELLO
I think will.i.am and that man who was a walking fatphobic joke were boyfriends.
it's funny that Scott's in this movie just to have an awful time. really didn't have to be him, could have been any mutant kid. doesn't even really make sense that it's him, honestly. if we assume that the first X-Men movie takes place roughly the year it came out, 2000, and that Scott was between 14 and 18 in '79, then he should be in his mid to late thirties by X1: The First Mutanting. I guess James Marsden could have been playing older but it didn't really seem like Scott was meant to be a man pushing 40. but I guess the chance to kick him around like a football one more time was just too tasty to pass up.
we don't need to talk about Deadpool we all know what's wrong with Deadpool. I want to focus on Gambit again. got the vibes of a Vegas bartender who flirts WAY too hard with married couples staying at the hotel where he works. he saw them from across the bar and liked their vibes, how the tables have turned. I know he's from New Orleans and that's like his whole deal but he feels very Vegas, possibly because no one seems to have informed that actor that he was playing a Cajun.
the ending of this movie is just kind of an unrelenting shitshow. when Professor Chucklefuck Xavier showed up at the end in his little cuck helicopter to whisk the kids away I wanted to smack his bald head off I'm not even kidding. how long did he know about child experiment island before he did something about it. why the fuck did he wait until Wolverine and his girlfriend handled everything and were on the run/dead? thought you were supposed to take care of mutants, bud. his bitch ass can control entire crowds of people and you're telling me he couldn't just remote knock out every guard in the facility to waltz in there and let the kids out himself. this man is a monster. god I hate his stupid bitch ass so much.
and then there's Wolverine getting shot in the head so bad he forgets his entire backstory which is like. hello. how do you shoot a man point blank in the head in such a way that he maintains the ability to speak, move, know that he should run from the police, etc but he forgets every single personal detail about his life. it's like they had almost wrapped filming and then remembered at the last minute that Wolverine has amnesia in the first X-Men movie and it's like a pretty deal. uuuuh fuck it I don't know, shoot him in the head. whatever. presumably Sabertooth also wandered off and got a lobotomy some time in the intervening 30 years.
this movie is great everyone should watch it.
experienced little art film called X-Men Origins Wolverine last night and I have to say. textbook case of a movie trying so hard to be a manly dude action movie that it circles around to being extremely homoerotic. every man in that movie wants Logan carnally. Wade? goes without saying. Agent Zero? wants to kiss Wolverine so bad it makes him look stupid. Gambit? as far as I can tell Gambit only came back to save Wolverine's ass at the end so that they could make sweaty love on a shitty houseboat later. (you know Gambit has a houseboat, look at him.) unfortunately the most roiling tension of all was definitely between Wolverine and his brother who is Definitely Not The Same Sabertooth From The First Movie. jilted lover ass brother. woman scorned situation. I think genuinely Sabertooth might not have turned out like that if he and Wolverine had ever just made love in a WW1 foxhole.
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funnyexel · 3 years ago
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Newt Scamander x Black Female Reader
A/n: Very late to posting once again! I really wanted to do a deadpool valentines special but I never got the chance. Enjoy this oneshot w/ Newt from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. More stories on the way! (hopefully)
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“You should really consider working for the ministry. We could use someone like you.” Theseus tells you as you walk through the halls.
“Aren’t I working for the ministry already.” You ask a rhetorical question and chuckle at the frenzy it sent him in.
“I’m just joking around. You know the ministry has way to many rules and regulations for me. I’ll consider the offer but I do enjoy freelance work.”
You smile and he nods, respecting your boundaries.
“Until next time, Theseus.” You pull your wand out of thin air and make a transportation portal. Walking through and waving your final goodbyes. The portal closes and you breathe a sigh of relief, putting the piece of magic away.
“That place is always so hostile.” You reach in your coat and talk to your small plant beast.
Walking through the streets of London, you have no certain destination at the moment and that’s what you loved. Freelancing, no human interaction and alone time. What more can a girl ask for!
“What can I do for you, Mr. Dumbledore?” You turn the corner to an empty block and a gloved hand waves at you.
“The ministry keeps asking me to work for them.” You sigh as you continue walking, his whole body begins to show.
“I assume your answer is the same.” You nod to his words.
“Newt is back in London.” You maintain your smile but your eyes speak for you.
“Sorry about turning down America, the ministry had me stretched thin.” Your green friend moves happily at the sound of Newt being back.
“Its alright, Newt handled the situation…well.” You smile. “Glad to hear it.” Putting your green friend in your hand, you summon your wand.
“I should get going.” He tugs at his collar and in a blink he’s waving goodbye.
“Bye.” You wave back.
“Ready to see him?” You ask your small friend. In response, she covers her face with her small hands.
“Yeah, me neither.” Thinking about where to go, you open a portal and mindlessly walk through.
“I am so sorry!”
You cover your eyes as you see Newt in a towel. A small swoosh and he puts a hand on your shoulder to assure you that he has clothes on. Slowly opening your eyes, your chest heats up. Newt has gotten a bit taller than the last time you saw him. He was practically looking down to you. Giving you that cute little smile, you return the gesture.
“I’ll make sure to use the door next time.” You say, apologizing once more. Breaking the intense eye-contact, you look around, "I see nothing has changed. How was America?”
He shakes his head and runs his fingers through his ginger hair.
“It was exhilarating.” He sighs and you chuckle to him.
“They do call it the city that never sleeps for a reason.” You say as he continuously looks at your chest. Looking down you see your little friend waving at him. Letting her hop on your finger, you put her in Newt’s hand.
“She was so excited to see you.” You smile at her in his hand then look up to him staring at you.
“Were you excited to see me?” You jokingly ponder his question.
“Yes but just a little, little, little bit. This much.” You put your thumb and index finger really close together.
“More than last time.”
He shrugs and rests the small beast on his head. A loud tap on his window alerts the both of you. Whipping your wands out, he walks over to his window and opens it. With you following close behind, a feather or two flies into the flat. The loud noise coming from a carrier owl, it landed on Newt’s shoulder and gave him a rolled up letter. The animal flying away the way it came, you both put your wands away. Before he could get the chance to open the letter another owl flies in and drops a letter in your palm, leaving as quickly as it came. Peaking your head out the window, you make sure no other owls will fly in. Newt closes the window as you begin to unroll the letter.
“A letter from the ministry.” You read the first line and skim through the lengthy letter.
“They want me to come to a meeting.” You finish skimming and look to him.
“It’s a beast problem. They want me there too.” Newt says.
“Whenever there’s a beast problem they call either you or me. What are we? Animal control.” You roll your eyes and tuck the paper in your coat pocket. Newt chuckles at your joke.
“The meeting is tonight.” He trails off, probably dreading that his night has been bombarded by the ministry.
“dude,” You groan, “You should go and I stay. They don’t need the both of us. Plus all they’re gonna talk about is how I’m half muggle.”
You drop yourself on his couch. “You’re not gonna leave me in a room with those blood suckers.” You whine loudly to his protest.
“It doesn’t matter that you’re half muggle y/n.” His head dangles over yours.
“Yes it does.” He shakes his head.
“It doesn’t. At one point they wanted to ban beasts because of us. You’re powerful that’s what they are afraid of, so they put you down.”
Rolling your eyes at his thoughtful words as he continues to talk to you upside down.
“If they do that then they have no life.” He rests his hands on either side of your head on the couch.
“That’s a given, they work for the British Ministry.” You chuckle as he lifts up and you turn to him.
“I am rubbing off on you!” You sit up on your heels and almost knock his head off. Looking him up and down you tilt your head to the side.
“I’m not in a rush to get there or anything but is that what you’re going to wear?” You pinch at his shirt and sweats. He makes a silly straight face.
“I’m going to change now.” He says while going to his room, around the corner.
“Yes. You do that.”
After he changes his clothes, you open your short cut to the ministry. Letters in hand, you show the receptionist. She jesters both of you to the elevator. Stepping in and settling on either sides of the elevator.
“You do have a serious resting face.” He says, staring you in the face.
“Gotta keep a serious face to keep them guessing.”
You do a swift hand motion, chuckling and he smiles. The elevator finally stopping, you both step out and walk down a short hallway to the only door. He opens the door for you and follows behind you.
“Newt, Y/n, welcome.” Theseus says walking up to you. He leads you both to a bench in the grand hall meeting area. Where most important meetings are held.
“Is this supposed to be a big meeting?” You ask while sitting down next to Newt.
“I’m not sure. Maybe 10 persons,” You nod as Theseus walks away to his seat across the room. Looking down to the ground you see Newts suitcase latches continuously opening.
“How many times do I have to tell you to get a new suitcase before you actually do it?” You lean over a little and never talk above a whisper.
“It’ll be fine.” He says while latching the case back.
“You said that last time,” You sigh, taking out your wand and casting a locking spell on the case, “You’re welcome.”
You look over to him and he looks over at the same time. Quickly you look down to the main floor. More members come through the door and your face stays stone cold. As the meeting starts, their ideas for you and Newt begin to circulate the room. If looks could kill, they’d all be six feet under.
“With all due respect, Newt is right. This sounds like a recipe for disaster.” You chime in, at the small gap in the conversation.
“They’re harmless. They won’t hurt anyone.” Newt follows.
“They’re dangerous enough to fight.” You stare down the one ministry member across the room.
“No matter. That’s why witches and wizards are being trained for the army. Just yesterday, you all wanted to ban beasts,” You bite the inside of your cheek to refrain from being disrespectful.
“The beasts will have trainers in the army. All they need are trainers. They’re animals for goodness sake.” The member stands out his seat.
“The army is NOT a place for a beast to grow.” You stand as well.
“These beasts can and will be put into the army if we deem it necessary. Why are we even negotiating with this muggle?”
He looks around as if he expected agreement but being met with silence.
“This HALF muggle would love to see you take an innocent beast and put them in your army for another one of your ridiculous wars.” You slam your hands down on the desk and large gust of wind sits the man down, “I come here out of respect for the ministry and respect for myself. I did not come here to be disrespected because of my race.”
You slowly sit down and take a deep breath, “Just because you don’t have wizards and witches graduating fast enough doesn’t mean you can incorporate innocent beasts in human issues.”
“There are more than enough capable wizards and witches to deal with whatever you need them to deal with. I will even go as far to say that I will help if needed. But no beast, good or bad, deserves to be put into a human conflict,” Newt nods to your words.
“We need some time to discuss this new opportunity. Let’s take a recess and we’ll be back in 15 minutes,” The head director of the ministry says.
You couldn’t be happier. Getting out your seat and walking out the door. The floor was pretty empty but you made sure to walk a good distance before turning the corner. Leaning on the wall, one tear then another rolls down your cheeks. Burying your face into your hands, you lower your sobs so no one will hear them. Your body sinking to the floor as tears cloud your vision.
He calls out your name, hint of sadness in his voice.
You were too embarrassed to look at him. His hand gently holds onto your shoulder, causing you to sit up in the slightest. Showing him your eyes. He tries his best to rub the tears away with the little room you gave him.
“Newt, have you seen y/n?” Theseus says almost turning the corner but Newt stops him from doing such action.
“Not right now. Tell your colleagues we’re leaving,” You turn your head to them.
“What? You can just- I can’t just tell them that,” Newt stands firmly and you can see Theseus shaking his head.
“Okay.”
He turns around and does as asked, for once. Making sure he’s gone before going back to you. He performs a spell to bring you to his home. The excessive smoke making you cough. Getting you off the ground he uses his thumbs to wipe away the tear marks.
“You shouldn’t be crying…” He says lowly with a small smile.
You sniffle, looking down. The warmth of his body hits you like a bullet. His hands rapping around your waist and you accept it. Your hands folding under his arms, holding onto his shoulders and your face smashed into his chest. After the few moments of calm, you look up to him, tears once again streaming down your face.
“This is supposed to make you feel better not cry more.”
He says and you chuckle.
“can’t I be both?”
You whisper, he was staring into your soul. Inching closer and closer. You wondered what he was doing. The tension in the room making your body radiate heat rays. You smile, feeling thankful for his comfort. His lips now softly against yours. Both your eyes closing in sync. Nothing more than a few pecks, unexpected but not unwanted. You didn’t expect him to actually do it. But then again that shy Newt you met in Hogwarts, is gone when he’s with you. Parting your lips and looking at each other, you don’t know what to say. It was so soft and tender, vulnerable and sweet, genuine and cute. He squeezes you tightly, probably overjoyed that you kissed back.
“Newt-“ You choke out. The pressure making you feel like your going to throw up your organs.
“Loosen up a bit, please. I can’t breathe.” You exaggerate a bit by sounding out of breath and he laughs.
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sideofcalimary · 2 years ago
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Doubt
Deadpool: What's got the spider all antsy?
Spiderman: Not your best pickup line
Deadpool rolls hie eyes and leans against the watertower bellow the hero: Answer the question, BugBoy
Spiderman: Since when did I start taking orders from you? 
Spiderman sat crouched on the watertower, lenses ahead, focused, as if waiting for danger to happen
Deadpool: I'm sensing tension here and it's not the sexual kind. What's up?
Spiderman: A lot of things. The sky. Clouds. Stars. Your ego 
Deadpool: Alright if this is about me slicing off that guy's toe, it was an ACCIDENT. He LITERALLY walked onto my katana!
Spiderman sighs: I'm not upset at you, sorry I just- Okay I'm a lil upset at you but I'm mostly anxious 
Deadpool: Gonna put a pin on the upset at me part and ask; what's got your tights in a twist?
Spiderman: ... You think this city really wants me around?
Deadpool: People sell your likeness and you're constantly trending. At this point, you should file for copyright infringement 
Spiderman laughs: And what? Become Disney and be the worst super villain of them all?
Deadpool: Could start calling yourself CopyWrong and threaten lawsuits on shitty bootleg companies
Spiderman: I'll consider it when the hero thing goes down hill
Deadpool: 'when'? 
Spiderman shrugs and finally looks at his partner: I mean, how long do you think I'd keep being spiderman?
Deadpool: I don't know, till your realize humanity is shit and ain't worth it?
Spiderman: Very sinical of you. But I'm being serious. Not everyone thinks very well of me 
Deadpool groans and pushes himself off the watertower: Is this about that Dickstroke guy?
Spiderman: Re-Destro
Deadpool climbs the stop and stands behind the hero: Yeah yeah, the Doofenshmirtz lookin news guy. You don't actually believe any of the shit he says? 
Spiderman: It's hard not to when he reports about me everyday.. He has a point
Deadpool: No the fuck he doesn't
Spiderman stands up: He does! He's right! I interfere with police work, I cause collateral damage I don't pay for, I cause public disruption. I'm- 
Deadpool: Saving people for free because the police can't handle the actual comic book villains popping up. You give people hope
Spiderman: And what if one day I mess up so bad that I don't?
Deadpool: That ain't gonna happen
Spiderman: What if it does?
Deadpool: It won't 
Spiderman gets closer, frustrated as he gets in Deadpool's face: And how can you be so sure?
Deadpool grabs him by the collar of his hoodie and pulls him closer, their faces inches apart. He speaks softly but equality as frustrated 
Deadpool: Cause you're the symbol of hope this shitty city needs. One that makes me believe I can be better. So don't you dare look down on My Symbol Of Hope
Spiderman stared. Silent as those words sank in
It was a minute or so later that Spiderman moves his head to rest on Deadpool's shoulder. His body deflating
Spiderman: Now THAT'S a good pickup line
Deadpool sighs, letting go of his hoodie and moves his hand to cup the back of his neck, holding the hero against himself in a semi hug, his other hand hesitant to touch him more 
Deadpool: Good enough to get a date?
Spiderman: We'll see
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ren-therose · 3 years ago
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Prove Your Mine
Bo Burnham X F!Reader (WC: 2.5k)
Summary: Bo is being interviewed when he sees another guy bothering you. Though you handle it, he still wants to prove to you that no one else can have you.
Warnings: My most graphic smut so MINORS DNI. TW: inappropriate sexual misconduct in the workplace. oral sex f receiving. penetrative unprotected sex. maybe a little on the breeding side. possessive bo
A/N: As I said, my most graphic fic, so be warned. I have other bo content that doesn't get as detailed (though still very descriptive), and they can be found here. Comment, like, share, yadada, you all know the drill.
Thank you to the two requests that inspired this piece! They are linked here and here if you're curious.
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---
Behind the glass of the recording room, you leaned back as Bo worked his boyish charm as the interviewer continued to ask question after question. It wasn't often that you were able to join Bo, especially since you were doing a lot to provide for yourself with our own career (it was that ambition that drew him to you in the first place). When your schedule allowed you to join him for a press day, you couldn't help but jump on top of him and give him the biggest hug you could muster. Meetings with Netflix, a few magazines and a nice lunch in LA, you were now enjoying the way he lit up talking about the work he does for this radio show.
You leaned back in the office chair, leg crossed over the other, with your foot bouncing. You arms were perched on the sides of the chair, showing off you black blouse and blue jeans that matched him. Your hair was half up and half down, casual, but still nice. Bo never got tired of how you looked so good all the time: when you wake up next to him, when you come home from work after a long day, or being sick in the bathroom while he holds your hair back. He also loved that you made an effort to match, down to the high tops you wore.
"Yeah no, I love making my own content, because who the fuck else is gonna understand what I go through? So I throw the comedy back in their faces, trying to get them to see the tru-what? Oh shit, I can't say fuck? OR SHIT??" Bo eyes widen and he collapses back into his chair, hands gripping his hair. "Jesus christ, I wish I had known before, I'm sooo so sorry, can we keep going?"
You laugh, as the interviewer explains that anything more than two fucks will make the show R-rated, so he needs to watch it. As you smile, making eye contact for a brief second, the door behind you opens and man is standing next to you, leaning against the tabel as he stares at your boyfriend.
"Is this that fucking comedian from like, 2010 or some shit?"
You uncross your legs and spin to face this asshat face on. "What did you just say about him?"
The man's eyebrow quirks up, raking his eyes over you with a smirk. "Oh, I'm sorry, are you a fan? I didn't mean to offend you; I just thought someone as pretty as you would have better taste than a washup musici-"
You launch out of your seat and plant yourself between the man and the window.
"Already, I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but you have a lot of your information. Maybe do some research on the people who are going to be working with you" you say, jabbing a finger into the man's chest, pushing him slightly as you sit back down, softly letting out a string of insults under your breath.
The man looks surprised, and also impressed. You glance at Bo, whose brow was furrowed.
Shit, he must have seen that. You think to yourself.
You give him a thumbs up and a big smile as he looks back at the interviewer, continuing on. Your cheesy grin drops and your arms cross as the man leans back against the desk to stare at you once more.
"Usually, I'm not into a woman who is so in control-"
"How surprising," you interject, rolling your eyes.
"Aha. But, your bossiness is highly attractive..."
He leans forward, eyes landing on the open buttons of your shirt before coming back up to your face.
You scoff, "As appealing as it is to lie and say I'm single and simple don't want to go out with you, I actually have a boyfriend I love and isn't a dick, so I won't be leaving him anytime soon."
With that, you roll away from him to look at Bo. He is laughing, slapping his leg and running his hands through his hair. You could tell he was probably reaching his limit, and move to the intercom connected to the earpieces he and the interviewer had. As you press the button, the douchebag in a suit leans over your shoulder, brushing the hair off your neck and leaning down to your ear to whisper "but could he fuck you like I could?"
Your finger flies off the button as Bo's jaw drops at the words filling his head. Before he can even get out of his seat, you are grabbing the man by his lapels and pushing him against the nearest wall.
"Listen, you little bitch-ass, sexist, predatory fuck," you reach down and grab the man by the crotch, twisting his balls and dick in your fist, "first, you're gonna apologize to me. Second, my boyfriend just saw all of that, so you get to deal with that and apologize to him as well. Then, you're gonna go tell your manager that I want to speak to her, and if you even attempt to twist (as you squeeze him tighter) the truth, remember the two other witnesses who heard what you said."
The mans face was beet red as sweat dripped down his temple. He was barely breathing, afraid to move. "Answer me, fucker!"
"Yes! Yes!" he cries, a single tear falling from his eye.
"Good!" you say cheerfully, letting go of the man's junk. Just as he tries to scurry away, you grab his arm and say "by the way, it's kinda small, you might need some kind of enhancer because I wasn't impressed at all."
The man looks like he might explode, but rather than risk castration, he practically runs out the door.
"Uhh, do you think she's got it" you hear a voice say over the speaker.
You eyes widen as you realize the mic was on the entire. time.
Bo raises his eyebrows, a clear code for "da fuck babe?"
"Yeah. She's got it. Are we done here?"
--
When Bo exited the booth, you were sitting with your face in your hands, embarrassed by the altercation that everyone just heard and saw.
"Hey Dick Crusher," he mocks, coming to pull you up.
"Noooo, please don't say that Bo," you whine, standing up, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and deliver a bear hug.
"Oh no, that is never going away. That was incredible. Did you get that from Deadpool?"
You pull away to look up at him and reply, "how did you know?"
"Because every guy in the movie theatre collectively groaned at just the idea of being manhandled that way," he said with a shudder, turning to put his arm around you as you both exited the room.
"You're not mad?"
Bo stops and turns to you, surprise etched on his face. "W-why would I be mad at you babe? It's not like you enabled him. He was eye-fucking you the minute he walked in the room."
You look down, reaching to button your top to cover your chest a little more.
"Hey, babe, you don't have to do that. He just needs to learn to noT BE A PERV!" Bo yells down the hall. You laugh, wrapping your arm around his waist as you leave the building.
---
You get back to your place after a ride that consisted of talking about how weird the recording booth smelled and that they guy wanted to interview after that 'horrifying and impressive' tiff.
When you get inside, Bo goes in to put down your purse and keys on the table as you pull off your shoes by the door. Leaned over, your hair falls to the side and your shirt gapes away slightly, allowing your boyfriend to see the soft slopes of your breast. As you go to stand up, Bo stalks towards you, trapping you between him and the door.
"Uuhh, hi?" you say nervously. You still got butterflies around him, even after knowing him for so long.
Bo reaches up to your top, unbuttoning your top one slowly, pulling it away from your chest as he goes to the next one. Instead of undoing the button though, he drops his hands down to your ass, patting you gently before lifting you up the door. You are now level with him as he goes back to your buttons. His breath is warm against your neck, much more comforting than that creep could have ever been.
"Are you thinking about the way he breathed on you?"
The hairs on your neck stood up as he read your mind, moving to the third button now.
"Hm? You want to answer that?"
You breath out softly, wrapping your fingers in his hair as you reply, "nothing feels like you Bo. Only you can make me feel good..." you whisper, leaning your head back against the door as he continues to ghost over your neck. He has finished unbuttoning you and was pulling the top away to reveal your bra and abdomen.
"You got that right." He plants a wet kiss on the crook of your neck, causing you to gasp loudly. "You're fucking mine."
You pull him by the hair so that you can see his eyes as you say the next two words: "Prove it."
The next thing you know, you're being thrown on the bed as he attacks your mouth, tongues battling for dominance. His knee is between your legs as you grind against him, trying to find relief in the friction he granted you. He moved from your lips to your jaw, under your neck to your collarbone. He is marking each place his mouth lands, littering hickeys and love bites like it was the only way to claim you.
You moan, arching your back into his mouth, giving him the opportunity to slip his hands underneath you and unclasping your bra. Once it is thrown somewhere in the room, he attacks your breast, assaulting your nipple with his tongue while his hand squeezes your ass.
"He fucking stared at my tiddies," he mumbles into your chest, causing you to laugh. He pulls off of you and stares with concern and annoyance.
"Uh, I'm pretty sure they were my tiddies," you smirk, shimming your chest in his face.
"Nope. Your tiddies are my tiddies." He bites your nipple softly, causing you to cry out as the throbbing between your legs increased.
"God, Bo, I''m yours, I'm all yoouurrs..." you groan, running your hands through your own hair, pushing it out of your face.
Bo continues to make his way down your body, reaching your jeans with frustration. He sits up and unzips your pants before shimming you out of them, panties and all. Before he goes down, he removes his shirt and pants, giving you the chance to admire the man that you loved.
"And all of that is mine," you growl.
"That's fucking right," he says before diving between your legs. The time to tease is gone, all he wants is for you to be in tears over what he can do to you.
You're breathing is shallow as he runs his tongue through your folds over and over, the wet friction on your clit driving you crazy. One hand in his hair, the other gripping your breast, you feel yourself reaching the a high.
"Bo don't stop, I'm gonna cum, you're gonna m-make me c-c-OH!"
You're arching into his mouth before you can finish your sentence, his arm holding you in place as you ride out your high...on his face.
As you try to catch your breath, Bo sits up, revealing his painfully hard and dripping cock.
"I'm gonna take that fucking pussy and remind you of why it's mine," he mutters, almost more to himself than you. He wasn't the jealous type, but the way that guy had tried to manhandle you in front of him? It pissed him the fuck off.
He pumped himself a few more times before lining up at your entrance. You prop yourself up on your elbows to look at him and you, just barely connecting.
"Show me Bo. Make me yours."
That statement was all the encouragement Bo needed as he slid into you, taking his time to really stretch you out. He was big, and you were filled by his cock, in ways you had never been before. You could feel him in your stomach if you pressed your hand bellow your naval.
The feeling made you weak and your elbows gave as you collapsed against the bed.
"Always so tight for me. So wet. And it's all for me, no one else," Bo whispers, beginning to slowly rock his hips as he moves inside of you. Your body reacts, contracting around him, causing to twitch.
"Hey, I won't last if you squeeze me like that," he pants, already feeling like he could paint your inner walls with his load.
You pull his face down to yours, kissing him gently before stating: "show me what no one else can do."
Bo's hips snap into to you, causing a sharp gasp to escape you. He continues to rail you into the mattress, barely able to completely sheath himself inside of you because of his size. You moan as you reach behind you to grip a pillow, pulling it over your face as you take him with each thrust. You finally throw the pillow and open your eyes to see him holding your thighs as he slams into you relentlessly.
The site of that alone would have made you cum had it not been for the fact that he just so happened to slide his hand down to your already sensitive bud and tweak it in circles. You cry out, tears filling your eyes at the stimulation.
"Bo, I need you to come inside me, please, make me yours baby, I need your cum inside me..."
Bo's eyes roll into the back of his head but he returns his focus to watching your face scrunch at the beginning of your climax.
"Cum for me baby, I'll cum inside you, just squeeze my co-oh, yes, just like that baby, fuck"
You let out a short scream before biting your wrist, your head pulling back as you cream his dick, pulsating and throbbing around him as he spills into you, warm and sticky as he fills you.
"You're mine Y/n. All mine baby," he grunts, bucking into you a few more times as he rides out his high.
---
Both showered and clean, you were cuddled in bed together, your legs in his lap as he rubbed your feet and you played with his hair at the nape of his neck.
"So he was really trying to diss me like that? Why would they invite me if they don't fucking like me?"
You laugh, shaking your head as you reply, "I know, right? It was awful, and who treats a guest like that? Such a creep."
"Hey."
"hey."
"Thanks for standing up for me."
"I love you Bo."
"I love you more, Y/N."
----
A/N: Now this, this was my most graphic fic yet, jesus. I hope you enjoyed- feel free to send in some more requests or suggestions. I like the feedback and reading your comments and reblogs! Bo Burnham masterlist and TAGLIST linked here.
Lots of love and don't forget to pee, wash your hands and clean your toys.
Taglist: @allexthakatt @shes-a-killer-queen-39 @ginger-abreu @dreamingofwolves @beeblisss @toread-fic
@mid-sommared
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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years ago
Text
This Is Still Marvel, Right?
Summary- 2.5k Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes x Wade Wilson x You. Deadpool the character from the comics is sitting across from the table from you, real right in front of your eyes. Not only is time travel a thing, but dimension travel is as well, and he is here for a very serious reason. Warnings- swears. Written for @what-is-your-backupplan-today​ CATFA 10th Anniversary Challenge. Prompts are highlighted. 
Masterlist
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“You came from where?” Sam questioned with a tilt of his head, arms folded across his chest as he raised a quizzical brow at the man in all red. 
“And why the clown suit?” Bucky right next to him asked, trying to make sense of what was going on. 
“I’m from the X-Men verse, you know… bald dude in the wheelchair, Wolvie with butter knife hands, we have our own pigeon boy. Not as sweet as your wings though.” Wade said with a sigh. “And we had a Peter, but the winds… god the winds were too strong. I will never forget you Sugar Bear.” He sobbed in his hand a moment, sniffling a moment. 
You were thoroughly in shock, your jaw was dropped to the floor as Wade mother fucking Wilson sat in the interrogation chair, one leg crossed over the other, his ankle jiggling as he leaned forward on his elbows, planting his chin in his palms as he made an cooing sound at the two men. “Aww, they are so cute when they are confused, aren't they cute? The cutest little puppies.” He went to boop Bucky's nose, but Bucky reared his head back away from his hand and a whir of his hand closed around Wade's wrist, which caused the masked mercenary to gasp out excitedly. 
“THE WINTER SOLDIER ARM, VIBRANIUM UPGRADE. I keep telling Cable he needs this hook up, his isn't nearly as cool as yours. Mister Bucky Barnes Sir, can you sign my suit? I’m a super fan.” the white eyes of his mask widened and you finally managed to close your mouth watching all this.
Whatever this was, you were actually wondering if you weren't in some drugged hallucination right now. Mission gone wrong? You had eaten that turkey sandwich out of the compound fridge, maybe it was drugged and this was someone's payback for stealing their food.
“Come on man.” Sam snapped out, still trying to get a straight answer out of him. Bucky let go of his hand which Wade muttered to himself. 
“I'm never washing this hand, not ever.” He cradled it to his chest. “Just wait till I tell Chrome Dome who shook my hand.” 
“ANSWERS!” Bucky yelled out and Wade gasped at the outburst. Bucky reached over to grasp the mask and yanked it off, grimacing as Wade's appearance showed. Both Sam and Bucky recovered quite quickly, you were still freaking out in the corner and Wade gave a suggestive wink to the two of them. 
“Names Wilson, Wade Wilson. No relation to this saucy stud though.” He eyed Sam up and down with a purr, who scoffed at the sudden attention. “Don't worry, I know that one is crushing on you hard. The chemistry. I won't make a move on you. Winter Soldier though is fair game, eh?” He made a chef’s kiss motion after pointing at you. “So are you two… do you… fondue?” Wade asked, Sam and You looked at each other and made disbelieving faces at one another. “Oh we're not admitting feelings? My bad. I jumped ahead in the comics. So much sexual tension.” Making a donut shape with one hand and a pointer with the other, meshing them together, you could feel your throat close up and Sam’s eyes widen. Bucky was struggling to keep his calm at this point, Sam too. Wade made a motion to stand and get up. 
“Do we have any eats here?” He puts his hand on the handle to open the door and a knife flung through the air, landing right next to his face. Wade paused and turned around. “Here I thought this was still Marvel and not Dc. Tony would have offered me a snack by now.” He grumbled while sitting back down. “A falafel, blueberries, I know he likes to snack, I've seen the movies.” 
You finally got over your shock and went to sit across from him. “Mr.Wilson…” 
He put up a hand. “Pool please, Deadpool. Or Wade. Or you can call me Captain Deadpool. Too much?” He glanced up at Sam and Bucky. “Yea too much, just call me Wade.” 
“Wade.” you started again, trying to figure out how to approach this. “We’re confused, because you are a comic book character.” You pulled up your phone and pulled up a screen clip of his movie. 
Wade gasped and grabbed at your phone, studying it. “Look at that handsome son of a bitch. I'm so glad they picked Ryan Reynolds for the part, he looks just like me.” He held the phone up next to his face. “He’s so good looking, it's the Canadian genes.” Then handed it back, you tucked it away and he leaned forward to toss what looked like a beat up comic book on the table.
“What’s this?” You question, pointing at it.
“A comic book. You guys are just comic book characters and I'm here to fix your story. What? You seriously didn't know you are comic book characters in another universe?” 
“Our story?” You pulled the comic towards you and sure enough plastered on the front was Sam in his Falcon Suit, Bucky with his own gear and you were soaring in the air above slightly out of focus. 
“Yes, your story. Listen Cable, you all know Cable right? He's like a moodier you Buckaroo…” The name caused Bucky to growl a bit, but Wade continued without noticing. “... hooked me up with this cool device. Not like those stones you all have, this is some actual batman kind of future fuckery that I got rigged to not just travel back in time. But other dimensions. Whoo... “ He made wiggly fingers. “It's like magic right? Cool.” 
You were flipping through the pages as fast as possible, skimming the storyline. Amazingly all of it was there, the mission report Nick Fury brought Sam this morning, you and Bucky sparring and how he pinned you against the mat, the heart to heart about how you two missed Steve. 
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose while Bucky looked over your shoulder at the comic book. “I'm getting a headache, or I'm losing it. Did I get hit in the head?” Sam rambled a bit and you got to the end of the comic, seeing that the mission Fury had given you three was completed, successfully. 
“Says there we did just fine.” Bucky said and you closed it before pushing it towards the center of the table. 
“It's not all just fine.” Wade threw up his hands in exasperation and you shook your head so confused. 
“Explain it to us Wade.” You grasped the comic again, flipping through it, scanning the pages as quick as you can. 
“Go to page 53.” He tapped his finger against the steel table and you did, the panel showing you and Sam standing on a roof top about to enter a building from above and Bucky was shown in another panel scaling a building. 
“I don't see it…” you shook your head confused as to what he was talking about and Wade pointed at the bottom, that was just barely in view. A hot dog cart. 
“You are here, from another dimension of life… because of a hot dog cart?” 
Wade nodded firmly. “If we don't protect that hot dog cart, bad things will happen.” His voice lowered, turning shifty. “Spooky stuff… anal stuff.” He shuddered and sat back, staring at the hot dog cart in the bottom of the picture. “If we don't protect that hot dog cart, it causes issues you couldn't even fathom. Another life just poof… what did y’all call it? Spanked out of existence?”
You just automatically corrected him. “Snapped.”
“Spanked sounds better, maybe consider changing it to spanked?” 
Sam cleared his throat. “You traveled through dimensions to get here so we could save a hot dog cart? I'm just- trying to keep it all straight. This isn't entirely the weirdest thing I have heard, but it's close.” 
Bucky scoffed. “I say this guy needs some help, maybe his brain got scrambled like mine.” 
“Nah, I didn't get the mind trip you did. I was tortured by a guy named Francis.” Wade snorted gleefully. “Called himself Ajax, like the dish soap!” Slapping his knee, he busted out laughing heavily, starting to cry. 
You rubbed at your face and looked over your shoulder. “I think we should trust him guys. What if what he says is true? We’ve dealt with crazy shit before.” 
“You can't be serious Y/N.” Bucky shook his head and Sam looked doubtful. Wade giggled as he wiped a tear from his eye, pointing a finger at you. 
“I like you, you're the smart one here I can tell.” 
You all turned to Sam who hadn't said anything yet. He sighed and rubbed at his face a bit, before finally saying under his breath. “I'm never going to hear the end of this… Lets take him.” 
Wade did a fist pump in victory, leaping up to grab his mask back from Bucky. “X-Force Ass-” You were quick to cover his mouth, leaving the “-emble” garbled. 
“He's going to get us killed, Wilson.” 
“I said to call me Deadpool or Captain Deadpool.” 
“I WAS TALKING TO HIM!” Bucky jerked his thumb at Sam, gritting his teeth while he yanked open the door and left the room. Deadpool followed after him, the next thing you heard was Bucky hollar. “I'm going to kick your ass Prick.” 
“Will you? You're making me all excited. Like a fairy making a little girl's wishes come true, I feel like I could fly.” 
Then you and Sam heard something loud crack and Wade’s cooing grew fainter. “Nice boots, Tinkerbell!” 
You snatched the comic book and stuffed it in your back pocket. “Uh we probably better go stop Bucky. It's pointless for him to try to kill Wade and will just tire himself out.” 
Sam opened the door, holding it open for you. “Should we really take that away from him?” 
“True and it sounds like Wade is having himself a fan moment anyways and doesn't care.” You stepped out to see Bucky and Wade tangled together wrestling.
Just as the comic stated, You and Sam were able to go in from the top. You could see Bucky below you using rigging to scale the building. Down further below you could see a red dot pushing a hot dog cart down the street well out of harm. Speaking into the comm’s, your wings folded to pull you into a spiral, spinning towards the roof. “Wade’s got the cart moved, and were clear to enter.” 
There was a grunt in the comms and Bucky's voice crackled through. “Well damn, I'm glad the hot dog cart is safe… for reasons spanning an entire dimension that we still don't know.” 
“Who are we to question it, Bucky? I mean, we’ve seen some pretty strange shit.” You stated as Sam landed next to you, shooting at the door and ducking inside together. “Maybe this is just another one to add to the pile.” 
Silence descended on the group as you each made to fulfill the mission. Once the building was clear and the three of you were working on exiting, Wade was waiting on the roof, sitting on the edge eating a hot dog and had three more lined up next to him. “I brought you all lunch, you guys do that sort of thing right? Good Mission? yes I bet. Buckaroo has the happy murder gleam in his eyes.” He took another bite of his hot dog and chewed while studying Bucky closely. 
“Don't do that.” Bucky shuddered a bit and Wade proceeded to pop the last bite into his mouth and chewed slowly while rolling the bottom half of his mask down. 
“Do what Buckaroo?” 
“Stare at me or call me Buckaroo.” 
“While eating a hot dog? Only way to properly eat one. I know you love it James. Well my mission here is done.” He pushed off the ledge to give you a hug and handed you a manilla envelope. “This is for you, it explains everything. Toodleloo Kiddies, it was fun knowing you. Oh and if you see Hugh Jackman on the street, tell him his coffee sucks and bitch slap the prick.” He jumped back on the ledge and looked over the edge. “Oh this is gonna kill my knees but this is a true superhero moment. Wait for it…” He gave you all a salute and stepped over, plummeting down. Sam and Bucky rushed the edge, looking over. 
You knew better, a superhero landing wouldn't kill him. 
“NAILED IT!” you three barely heard, then in a flash of sparks, Deadpool was gone. 
“I thought for sure he was going to pancake down there.” Bucky said with a hint of sadness and Sam shook his head. 
“We gotta get out of here before we're caught and get this back to Fury.” Sam held up a chip that held the actual intel of the mission. 
You silently agreed and together the three of you made your way off the building and back home. 
Afterwards once you were back in the tower and changing out of your suit, you glanced at the manilla envelope Wade left you. 
Sitting down on the bench, you opened it and peeked in. What looked like another comic book was in there as well as a letter. Pulling out the letter, you scanned it. 
~To the Super Duper Trio, 
Thank you for believing me. It was crucial. We're not the only comic book verse out there living our lives. Sometimes they cross intersect in ways that I can't explain, go find the wizard, he can tell you more about it. Also ask him to your next party, because he can do the COOLEST TRICKS. But if you take out the comic book enclosed you will see on page 23 there is a hot dog cart as well as a familiar looking dork named Jake Jensen. Alias- Capt Jensen. 
Perhaps your Captain is alive in some way, the DC universe having changed him to a loveable, cat hating, Petunias loving, super smart idiot.
Tell Birdman thanks for the vote of confidence, caw caw mother fucker.
Tell Buckaroo he forgot to sign my suit, I will be back. He is my favorite after all. 
And what I wanna tell you is take care of those idiots so they dont kill each other. 
With Love, 
Captain Deadpool
Ps- Yes Cap’s as awkward with women in DC as he was in Marvel. 
Pss- Welcome to X-Force! I will be in touch. 
You pulled out the comic book and glanced at the cover seeing six people staring down, the title of the comic- The Losers. Flipping to the page, you found a photograph tucked in between the pages, showing another version of the page. One where the street looked demolished and a man lying crumbled by a cart. Also a familiar hot dog cart leaned on its side, demolished. 
Setting the picture aside, now you glanced over this panel to see the same man making a show of pulling out a crossbow, the bubble above his head with the words “That’s right, bitches, I got a crossbow!” 
The scene didn't really surprise you that much, more like the character now alive in the comic looked just like Steve. 
A thinner version, he had facial hair, and the entire get up was never anything Steve would have willingly worn. 
But it looked just like Steve Rogers and for the second time that day your jaw dropped. 
Maybe Wade Wilson was right, after all… 
Nothing was off limits and stranger things have happened.
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empyreanwritings · 4 years ago
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STEF- STEF- STEF! Happy monday of the mob. I know everyone loves brat!reader, but how do you feel about maybe mob boss!reader?? Either with mob boss!natasha or even civilian!natasha, whatever you prefer. It would just be a nice change to see the reader as the boss lol - Lesbian-Deadpool
A/N: i don’t know why but i really wanted to write soft, baker!nat and i don’t know why but here we are. i hope you like it, my love! @lesbian-deadpool x
Nat was used to all sorts of grumps during the holiday season. Most people were impatient - they didn’t understand that holiday goodies didn’t just appear overnight. She spent more than a handful of hours after closing her bakery just to make sure something was perfected before the sun rose again. It was exhausting, but it was rewarding too. 
But today she was caught off guard when a man started to shout over the special order chocolates she made him. Grumps, she could handle; she wasn’t used to someone being impossible over perfect chocolates. 
“I asked for dark chocolate Christmas trees with a cherry filling!” He shouted and slammed the box onto the counter, stray chocolates flying to the floor. “These are milk chocolate!” 
She shook her head. “No, sir, those are the dark chocolate. The cherry compliments the bitterness well, so it may not be what you are used to. I assure-” 
“Are you fucking stupid?” His face turned a bright shade of red. It reminded Nat of a plump tomato that she wanted to throw at the wall. “That’s a genuine question too, missy!” 
“Are you?” A calm voice came from behind him. He stepped to the side in surprise, and Nat got a full view of just who was coming to her rescue. 
You wore a suit jacket over a white button up that was button as low as it could possibly go without completely exposing your chest; they were tucked into a black pants that she swore you must have painted on because they were dangerously tight but sexy nonetheless. She knew you came from money, but she couldn’t put her finger on where she had seen you until her eyes trailed down to the family ring on your finger. 
Y/N Y/L/N - the sole heir to the most casinos in the city. Everyone knew your name after you took over for your mother. 
The man spluttered, pulling Nat right back into reality. “What did you just say to me?” 
“I asked  a genuine question,” you sneered back at him. “Are you fucking stupid?” 
You didn’t wait for him to respond - you simply shoved him to the side and approached the counter. The sneer left your face the moment you looked over at Nat, and she felt her heart fill with warmth when you smiled at her. 
He opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped. His eyes trailed to your where your hand slipped behind your back, more than likely staring at the cold steel of a gun also tucked into those sinful pants.
“I heard you have cupcakes to die for,” you finally said when he took the hint and walked away. “Do you have any suggestions?”
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good-rwbyaus · 3 years ago
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For of all this Em Batfam thing is so good. Second I got a idea for anther superhero au involeing anther character too good for Cinder. AU, where instead of Cinder the person who finds Mercury is....*Dramtic pause*.. DEADPOOL!
This one I needed time to write ~ Green
The air was filled with the ragged breathing of a young man who had fought the hardest battle of his young life. Before him laid the corpse of the man he’d been forced to call his dad, but Marcus Black was anything but that. Fathers were supposed to love their sons, teach them about life, and prepare them for manhood…
All Marcus had ever taught his son, Mercury, was how to take a punch, where to strike ro disable someone, how to kill, poison, lie, cheat, and gods know what else that had been locked inside his brain. Now Mercury had struck back against the man who’d made his life a living hell, and all it cost him was his own life; that seemed like a fair trade off.
Just as Mercury was about to start walking towards the burning cabin that had been his home all his life, he heard clapping. This caused him to turn,and got in a half heartened fighting stance.
‘So this is how it all ends…figures.’ Mercury thought as his burning muscles tried to keep him in the stance.
“Who’s there?!” Mercury shouted as his eyes tried to pinpoint the source of the clapping.
“That was beautiful kid, you got a real talent for fucking up shitheels.” A man’s voice called out, as a figure emerged from the brush. It was a guy in some weird red suit, with katanas on his back.
Mercury stood there, continuing to hold his stance “The hell are you?”
“First of all drop the stance kid, we both know you’re tapped out. Second of all I’m just a merc who came for the open contract on Marcus Black’s head, but it seems some kid beat me to it.” The red suit man explained as he walked past Mercury so casually, as if he’d been nothing.
Mercury turned around to see the man in red examine Marcus’ corpse. He wanted to say something, but there was something about the man…something he couldn’t wrap his mind around.
The man in red was still casually observing Marcus’ corpse, his back turned to Mercury leaving him open to an attack. “Oof, you really did a number on him, kid. What was this your first big contract, so you decided to make a message out of it? Get your name out there as one of the big boys?”
Mercury finally spoke for the first time in what felt like hours, but was probably just barely a couple minutes. “I didn’t even realize there was a contract on him.”
This revelation had really caught the man in red’s attention, causing him to look back at Mercury. “So you willingly just picked a fight with Remnant’s top assassin?”
“He had it coming, he took everything from me.” Mercury spat as he felt some form of adrenaline pumping through him again.
“He killed your family, or something?” The man stood, facing Mercury so he could size him up.
The question caused Mercury to snort, as if he knew something the man in red would never fathom. “I think he may have killed my mom at this point, but no that’s not the reason I wanted to kill him. He took my semblance, my life, and hell for good measure my legs.”
The man in red was shocked to see Mercury lift his pants leg to reveal a prosthetic leg was hidden underneath it. Why the hell would Marcus do all this to some kid.
“Who are you?” The man in red had finally asked the million lien question it seems, because Mercury just gave him a look. “Oh should I already know you then?”
Mercury just snorted before crossing his arms. “Not really, but to answer your question, the name is Mercury…Mercury Black.”
The second Mercury uttered his name, things began to click for the man in red. So the son murdered the father because, for lack of better terms, the father was a true blue asshole. He’d always known Marcus was a real piece of shit, in their line of work you heard these things, but doing this to his own son…if hell was real, then Marcus was probably burning in his own private lava pit.
“Geez kid, I thought my old man was a piece of work, but yours really took the cake.” The man in red started to approach Mercury.
“Yeah, and now he’s gone. So you can piss off whoever the hell you are, claim the kill as your own, I don’t care.” Mercury still had some steam left, but it was all too clear that he was barely standing.
“Well ain’t that cute, but sorry cupcake I do care. Your life has clearly been a toilet, and you could use some guidance.” He placed a hand on Mercury’s shoulder, looking him in the eyes.
Mercury scoffer, skeptical to whatever the hell this man meant. “And what exactly do I get out of this?”
The man didn’t budge as he kept his eyes locked on Mercury’s. The mini staring match didn’t last much longer as the man in red started to chuckle. “I’ll tell you kid, even when you’re clearly a foot in the grave you got stones. Tell you what, a better life than what your father could give you is what’s in it for you, especially since you can prove the bastard wrong. All the fighting you can handle, lots of money that you’ll probably never spend in your lifetime, adventure, and my personal chimichanga recipe.”
It all sounded too good to be true, really what else was there for him. His only plans had been to either way for his aura to come back so he’d heal, or just let nature take its course. Really meeting some guy who was trying to kill his dad, and taking him in…it all seemed too good to be true. Then again without many options left, maybe this was destiny….
“Fine whatever, not like I have anything better to do, Red.” Mercury still had some edge to his voice, the kind only youth could provide.
The man in red was amused by this, well as amused as a masked man could be. “Trust me kid, I’m going to change your whole fucking life. Also, the name is Wade, Wade Wilson, but professionally I’m known as Deadpool.”
This earned another snort from Mercury, Deadpool had to be the dumbest codename he’d heard in his life. Then again his father’s ego didn’t let him get a chance to believe in codenames.
“Ok Deadpool, why take me with you?” Mercury still wasn’t seeing the full angle with this guy.
“That’s really simple kid.” Wase said before lifting the mask on his head to reveal his face. To say his face was one of the freakiest things Mercury had ever seen in his life would have been an understatement, whatever happened to this guy he really didn’t want to know.
Deadpool just smirked, as if he could hear Mercury’s thoughts before lowering his mask. “I’ve had some real shit days too, enough to know when someone needs help. Let’s call it my superpower.”
For some reason, a small part of Mercury had needed to hear that. It felt almost like he had someone who understood his pain….not that he’d ever admit it.
Wade started to walk away, and motioned for Mercury to follow. Mercury did, after giving his father’s corpse one last look, following Wade into the forest.
As they started to cross the brush that would take them to the main roads, Wase spoke up again. “Sides kid, another reason is even simpler. No one needs another boring cliche story where I take in and train some blonde kid with a rabbit hoodie to be the opposite of who he’s supposed to be narratively. No one needs more of that edginess.”
Mercury decided to not respond to that, the statement sounded too…metatextual was the word that was coming to his mind for some reason…
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