#marvle fic

[saturnzskyzz]

𝙲𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎: 𝙰 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎

Word count: 2,009

Warning: Mature audiences only, you have been warned | inappropriate jokes and comments (you know how deadpool is) this is just fiction

𝙰/𝙽: 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚢𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚍?? 𝙸 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚊 𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙿𝚃𝙴𝚁!! 𝙰𝙰𝙰𝙷𝙷𝙷!!! 𝙸𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸'𝚕𝚕 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚠𝚘.. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚊 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 😟. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚗𝚘𝚗-𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚌!! 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜, 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢!! 𝙴𝙰𝚃 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚄𝙿 𝙶𝙰𝙽𝙶!!!

Summary: Wade drags Logan along to a very long car ride followed to be his personal Uber, and best friend, to visit new Mexico for a week. Upon reading articles on the Google home page-wade- he realizes that a certain individual looks familiar from an article he read one time. So, he strikes a very interesting conversation with said individual, and finds something quite interesting and intriguing!

Divider credits

The sound of a new Honda Civic driving on an empty road could be thought of as two heroes sitting in the front seats of the driving vehicle. With the passenger jamming out to the music, and the driver peacefully in his thoughts while concentrating on the road; It was truly a cinematic experience if the two had thought about this exact moment in third person.

"Ow! Would you be mindful of where you're playing your imaginary drum set, bub?" As if the sound didn't come from Hugh Jackman himself, Logan Howlett was shown in third person, forgetting the whole "cinematic third person view" with the Honda Civic, which was what Wade- who hit the victim- had thought about.

"Oopsie daisy! It's like these drumsticks have a mind of its own, huh?" Wade huffed out a breath as he continued to slam his hands in the air to play what was heard on the radio.

Logan nodded his head disapprovingly like a father, and just continued on with the road. The peace continues.

It's not everyday that they have these peaceful drives like this. Other than when they were having to drive to where the facility of where their timelines were controlled and kept under surveillance as to not be disturbed by any high powerful GOD. Yeah, that may be pushing it. Anyway, The point is that Wade and Logan, though the claw handling mortal didn't want to admit it, they were glad they had this long drive again. The beauty of nature was an A+.

"You need to tell them why we're on the road, silly!" Wade blurted out as he was now turned, facing the back seats like he was talking to passengers.

"The fuck is you lookin' at back there, Wade?" Logan questioned, yet not really wanting to know the reason since he's trying to drive to- Oh,, right!

The reason why they were on the road is because Wade decided it would be a lovely idea to have the two take a break from their old apartment, and take a vacation over to New Mexico!

The beaches there looked lovely from the Google pictures Wade had pulled up once, just once, so that was all the good reason as to why he wanted to drive there.. Or, to sit there. He made Logan drive.

"Damn right I did!" Wade blurted out yet again, causing Logan to almost jump in his seat, but luckily for his own embarrassment, he only flinched. "Bub, what the fuck are you saying right now?" Logan asked, getting annoyed with him now.

"Oh, sorry peanut! Just reacting to this fic that's currently being typed up. Anyways, nice driving skills by the way! Oscar made sure to bring up the fact that I'm the passenger princess." Wade confidently said, pulling down the sunshade to look at himself in the mirror for some extra dramatics.

Logan glanced at him before looking back at the road in utter confusion. "Wade, you practically forced me to drive, you're not a,, Passenger- whatever you just fuckin' spurred up in your little head. And by the way, I don't trust you behind the wheel."

Wade did a dramatic gasp by that, clutching his imaginary pearls, he whipped his head to look at Logan with almost daggers for eyes. "How dare you not trust me! I am a veeeery trustworthy person, as a matter of fact."

Logan gave Wade a very interesting "oh yeah?" as to let the younger know he's allowed to rant.

"Yes, "oh yeah?"! I am such an oh yeah, trustworthy person: Yukio once left me alone in the X-Men building for half an hour to come back to the place all spiff and span! Not only that, Colossus let me hold one of his very expensive vases all because I wanted to look at it. He let me HOLD IT while looking at it, isn't that a whole lot of trust thrown into one basket?"

Logan chuckled at that. "First off, the only reason she came back to the X-Men building to a very clean interior is because you had trashed it before she even came back. And I don't mean a little trash; you had the whole place covered with things on the ground, broken, and even the walls looked terrible in the pictures you sent me. You had Colossus' help as well as mine and somehow blind Al's help to clean up the entire place in under 15 minutes- which you got scolded for by Colossus afterwards. And for the record, Yukio came back after 30 minutes because she was supposed to be gone for 2 hours helping her girlfriend with whatever they were doing, but I told her about the mess."

Again, Wade had gasped by the betrayal. He was going to bark back in retaliation but Logan had cut him off.

"I'm not done, bub. for the vase, I found that ugly thing in the trash two weeks after the fact that you had had a small obsession with it; which tell me Wade, why was it in the trash all broken up in various sizes of pieces?" Logan asked with a smug look on his face meaning "gotcha" which knowingly pissed Wade off.

"The only reason it was broken in the trash is because Mary Puppins knocked it over when she visited the place with me one morning. Colossus somehow doesn't know about that yet." Wade explained defeatedly. He crossed his arms to emphasize his defeat and frustration.

"No. He knows." Logan corrected. Still with that fucking smug look on his face, like who is this guy?

"How does he know?!" Wade looked at him in shock, desperately waiting for an answer.

"Cuz I told him, you wuss puss."

Damn, was that a jaw to the ground in betrayal². "You mother fucking, cock sucking, animal hating, snitch bitch!" Wade couldn't believe it. Like seriously, who snitches on their best friends?!

"Another thing, those examples were not what I was looking for. I said trustworthy in driving, not just whatever popped into that small skull of yours you call a brain." Logan emphasized that with a finger to Wade's temple, pushing at his head slightly to get his comedic relief friend to be even more ticked off.

"I can't believe you.. How do you go and snitch on your best friend? I'm your homeboy- we're like this!" Wade stuttered out as he crossed his pointer and middle finger to shove it in Logan's face.

"Wade, you're not my- get your hand out of my face, I'm driving here!" Logan said quickly, as he pushed at the offending hand that butted in his personal space.

"What were you gonna say, sweet cheeks? Were you gonna say that I'm not your best friend?" Wade looked at Logan all sad now.

"No, that's not what I.. Friend is a stretch in itself, pal. I appreciate the offer of me moving in with you and Al, but it's been a few years. you know..? Give it some time." Logan explained the best he could. As embarrassing as he worded it, which most likely ruined a bit of his ego, but he had trust issues.

"Just like the author said, you have trust issues, peanut." Wade said in a not-so-sad tone now. He went for crossing his arms again and looked out the window this time.

The car goes silent for a moment, much to Logan's relief since he's driving, and because he wanted to ignore his comment. They got a little over an hour left before getting into New Mexico, so hopefully the car ride ends up being dead silent until then.

. . .

"So about you not trusting my driving-" Wade was about to go on another unimportant rant before he got smacked over the mouth.

"Not. A. Word." Logan said carefully, never once keeping his eyes off the road again.

Wade had wanted to bite back with a sexual comment, but decided not to as he quite wanted his mouth open and not stapled. Yes, his mouth was stapled shut by Logan before.

. . .

Eh, on second thought.

"I'll have you know that my driving skills are immaculate!" Wade said through muffled lips.

"Oh yeah? Then take the fuckin' wheel." Logan said, letting go of the wheel as he was turning. This caused Wade to panic, and roughly took the wheel to make a sharp turn, almost hitting a tree when by passing, but successfully missed it by a smidge.

"What the fuck?!" Wade shouted, looking at Logan then quickly retreating his eyes back on the road.

Logan crossed his arms this time, pulling off his smug face as he looked down at Wade. "We almost hit that tree back there."

"Oh, you think?! You decided to let your masculinity be free while I'm over here trying to not get hit- by the way, it's very hard keeping an eye on the road while in this position.. You sure you didn't just do this because you wanted me to take a whiff of your dick? Because it smells atrocious, you should shower when we get to New Mexico."

Logan uncrossed his arms at that comment and violently pushed Wade out of the way so he could continue on with driving. "Nope. You're way too anxious, and you don't fully concentrate while driving: Remember that one time you drove into town and almost swerved into a pole all because a bird hit your side of the window?"

Wade chuckled at the memory even if it wasn't the best thing to ever happen. "Look, I get jumpy when I'm not expecting things like birds when driving. It's the animal's fault for bumping into my window. Honestly, if I had hit that pole, it should be that fuck ass pigeon who would pay for our expenses." Wade argued.

"Yeah, like that's a possibility. Don't forget the time you looked at a building for more than 5 seconds causing us to pass a red light." Logan said with a growl. That memory still pissed the Wolverine off.

"Oh yeah, ha! How could I forget you being generous to me for once?" Wade awed at the memory.

Logan was not pleased by that answer. "I had to pay for your ticket so then Al wouldn't have had to pay for it herself. I didn't do it for you, I did it for her. God knows how much money she has left with how much you steal from her. And I'm not talking about the money." Logan pointed at Wade then, almost instantly catching him pulling out a small bag of white powder with letters written on it.

"Wade.. Don't fuckin' tell me you stole her cocaine again?! As soon as I say something about you stealing, you just casually pull it out?!" Logan shouted.

"I can casually pull out something else if you really want me to." When Wade looked at Logan expecting an annoyed comment, all that Logan did was look at him with disgust. "Look, I only pulled this out to gain a reaction from you for the viewers who's reading right now. Hey viewers!" Wade turned to face the back seat once again. This caused Logan to look back twice, only to be met with empty seats.

"Jesus- Wade, you make no sense whatsoever whenever I'm with you. It drives me insane sometimes." Logan breathed out, exhausted by all the talking suddenly. (Ahh, don't you just love a social battery?)

Wade looked at Logan and then out the car window to see a sign that says "Welcome to New Mexico!"

"Hey look! We made it, honey. Time to go visit the kids, huh?" Wade said excitedly, earning a scoff from Logan.

Once again, Wade is picturing the car in third person view, as he imagines the car drifting away from the camera, as the welcome sign appears in front. After a while, the screen will start to fade and soon it all goes black, waiting for a new chapter to come.

"This is going to be a fun vacation."

[frankthesnek]

✨️ New Story ✨️

Animal I Have Become (rated E)

Stony (Tony Stark/Steve Rogers)

a/b/o dynamics, rutting, rough sex, shsmless smut

4.5k words

Stony Bingo space N3: Bullet wounds. @cap-ironman

Being injured and stranded behind enemy lines is pretty much old news for Tony and Steve at this point. However, this time it comes with a twist—Steve's injuries send him into rut. When Tony refuses to abandon his friend there's only one way things can play out.

[emberfrostlovesloki]

Spider-Man(?) [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@rebecca--barnes) Center (google) Right (@hotchs-big-hands)

Prompt: Aaron hires the reader to come and be Spider-Man at Jack’s fifth birthday party and ends up offering the reader some comfort and advice at the same time. 

Pairing: Aaron x fem!non-BAU!reader. The reader uses she/her pronouns 

Category: fluff/comfort 

Word Count: 6.1K 

Content Warnings: drinking [light], some sadness / depression, tension [slight (Haley and Hotch)], mention of breakups [Haley and Hotch], if I missed any, please let me know.

A/N: Hi loves! Here is another fic based on the amazing @imagining-in-the-margins January/February Writing Challenge. The prompt this was based on was “Characters change career paths with a very different job.” I wrote this because sometimes I feel stuck in my life (even though I love my job), but sometimes I wonder if things could be different. So I wanted a bit of encouragement from Aaron. So this goes out to anyone who just feels a bit mheh right now. I wrote this as a platonic fic but read it how you like. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! I hope you’re having a great start to your week and thanks for reading. Love Levi - ❤️

List with all stories 

_y/n_= your name 

_y/l/n_ = your last name 

_y/f/d/p_ = your favorite Disney Princess

_a/t/y/k_ = any tricks you know

Aaron was doubtful as he called the final number on his list. The name already wasn’t promising, and he was trying to find any way to make sure Jack had what he wanted for this fifth birthday party. Hotch had never really been someone who had been interested in superheroes. The most exposure he had to them was the Batman comic strip that ran in the Sunday paper when he was a kid, and even then, the story always took too long to unfold to keep his attention for more than a few weeks in a row. Then when he was older, and the Marvle boom had hit, the movies that were coming out had no real appeal to him. However, Aaron had become a fan of superheroes for Jack’s sake. Jack loved to watch the Amazing Spiderman cartoons on Saturday morning with a bowl of cereal in his little hands. Aaron would often watch along with his son for some quality time before he got picked up by Haley. Aaron had come to love those moments of quiet, watching his boy’s eyes light up as Peter Parker fought off one villain or another. Jack wasn’t old enough yet to get the romantic problems Spider-man had, but Hotch knew that one day, they’d have that conversation, and he’d feel old giving it out. Aaron already could see Jack growing into his own person with his own opinions and friend groups. It was because of this, the fact that childhood was so fleeting, that Aaron wanted to give his son the perfect birthday party. 

Hotch had been searching for a Spider-Man to make an appearance at the party for an hour or so. He’d coordinated with Haley, and she’d gotten a superhero-themed cake and she agreed to let someone come and cosplay for Jack and his friends. But the search so far had been unsuccessful. He heaved a sigh and dialed the last number. If Party Princesses Inc. didn’t have someone who could do it, he wasn’t sure what he would do. Aaron made a fine Santa at Christmas time, but he was no Spider-man. The phone rang three times before someone picked up. The woman on the other line sounded tired as she said, “Party Princessess Inc. How can we help make your party magical?” Hotch let out a breath and replied, “Hi, I was wondering if you had someone who could be Spider-Man for a party three weeks from this Saturday?” There was a brief pause before the lady said, “Let me check the schedule for that Saturday, Sir.” Aaron nodded and waited for a few minutes. When the woman came back on the line, she said, “Sir, none of our guys are scheduled for that weekend, but we have a girl that can pull off Spider-Man pretty well. She does crossplay or whatever that is.” Hotch hesitated for a moment, He wasn’t sure about this, but at least there was an option, even if it wasn’t a great one. As if the woman could sense his hesitation, she said, “I know it might not be ideal, but _y/n_ is convincing. There are pictures of her on our website as Spider-Man so you can see them. I wish he had more guys on the team, but we don’t get that many requests for male characters at boys' parties. This is a party for a boy, right?” Aaron replied, “Yes, it’s for my son. If I did want to book the person you’re talking about would that be through the webpage or somewhere else? I don’t see a form online.” The woman clicked on a keyboard for a second before saying, “We’re currently updating our website, so the form is temporarily down for the public, but what I can do is give you _y/n_’s number and if you decide you want to book her, she can fill out the form from her end and email it over for your records.” Hotch replied, “Alright. Could you give me _y/n_’s last name and number, please?” The tired assistant relayed the information and Hotch hung up shortly after that. He then opened his laptop and looked up _y/n_’s profile on the Party Princesses website. As unconvinced as Aaron had been, the photos of the young woman were pretty convincing. She made a good _y/f/d/p_ but also passed off as a Spider-Man, Captain America, and Luke Skywalker. She was so convincing that Aaron might have believed _y/n_ was a guy if it wasn’t for the softer curves of her hips and shoulders. Jack wouldn’t notice, and even if he did, it would be a good learning opportunity for his son to realize that not everyone felt like just a boy or girl, and people could look however they liked if if made them comfortable. Hotch felt relieved that he had persisted because it looked like he was going to be able to give Jack a big surprise at his party. He quickly dialed the number the woman had given him because he didn’t want to risk having his only option get booked for another party. 

A bright and chipper voice answered saying, “Hey this is _y/n_ with Party Princesses Inc. How can I make your party magical?” There was a large contrast from the woman at the agency. Hotch cleared his throat and said, “Hello. My name is Aaron Hotchner. I was told to give you a call if I was interested in booking you for a party in three weeks.” There was a shuffling on the other end of the line and _y/n_ said, “You are correct, Mr. Hotchner. Please give me one second and let me pull up my calendar and the form I need to fill out for you.” Aaron waited patiently for _y/n_ to come back. When she did, she started by asking, “Alright, sorry for that wait. What day and time would you like me?” Aaron provided those details, and then _y/n_ asked, “Alright, and how long were you wanting me and in which character?” Aaron replied, “Could you tell me about your rates before I decide a time? I didn’t see them on the website. And I was looking for Spider-Man if can do that.” There was a soft chuckle before _y/n_ replied, “I can somehow still manage to pull off Spider-Man, shockingly. And about the prices. I charge a flat rate of $25 for thirty minutes or $45 for an hour. If you want me longer than that it’s an additional $25 for each thirty minutes after that.” Hotch was surprised by the rate. He thought it was low for the type of service being offered. He wondered for a second who set the prices. He didn’t elaborate on that question though as he said, “Could I book you for two hours from 1:00 to 3:00?” _y/n_ responded quickly, “Absolutely. If you could give me an email address I will send over this form and ask you a few questions like the address you’re holding the party at and parking and such. Also if I could get your cell number as well, just in case I run into traffic or there’s an emergency or something.” Aaron nodded and said, “Right. A good email is ahotchner@gmail.com and a good number is 215-359-0075.” Hotch heard as _y/n_ typed in the information and said, “Perfect. I just want to let you know that because I’m not a guy I won’t be able to take off the mask in front of the party guests, and that the company requires you to pay me in either cash or check at the end of the allotted time. Does that work for you, Mr. Hotchner?” Aaron nodded. For the first time, a small note of discomfort could be detected in _y/n_’s voice. Again, Aaron didn’t question this as he said, “That checks out with me. Thanks so much for taking this, I was getting a bit desperate.” That soft chuckle from _y/n_ came back and Hotch couldn’t help but smile slightly. From _y/n_’s tone and energy, he wondered how old _y/n_ was. _y/n_ replied, “Well I’m happy to help Mr. Hotchner. I’ll send over that email in a few minutes and then I’ll see you in three weeks.” With that, both parties hung up. Aaron couldn't help but smile himself for being able to do this for Jack, and he couldn’t wait to see the look on his son's face when Spider-man showed up at his party. 

The weeks that led up to Jack's big day went quickly. There was one long case that took the team away for seven days, but that didn’t stop Aaron, and especially Jack from getting excited for the party. Jack had invited all of his preschool class as well as a few friends from soccer. Aaron spent some time getting some last-minute gifts for Jack and making the final arrangements for food and balloons. They were holding the party at Rossi’s because neither Aaron nor Haley had the indoor and outdoor space to hold eighteen kids and their parents. Hotch was incredibly grateful for his friend and his team, as they all loved Jack so much. The BAU was going to be there on Saturday. He was grateful for this because it would be the first time he met Haley’s new boyfriend since the separation. He was happy for Haley, of course. He wanted her to be content and find someone to love, but that didn’t take away the sting that he still felt at how things had ended. He prayed that it wouldn’t be an awkward situation when he met her new boyfriend. For his part, he was going to make it as easy as possible, and that was going to be aided by having his support system behind him. After all the day was about Jack, not him and Haley’s relationship. On Friday that week, he left the office at five. He stopped off at Rossi’s office to hand off his gifts for tomorrow. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if he took them in the car with Jack tomorrow. After Dave had the presents on his desk, Aaron said, “ Thanks for everything, Dave. I really appreciate you.” Rossi laughed and said, “Well don’t thank me yet, we still have a party to get through tomorrow. Now if it goes well, then you can thank me with a bottle of that whiskey I like.” That got Aaron laughing. Hotch straightened up and Rossi asked, “Did you tell Spider-Man about the parking and the surprise entrance?” Hotch nodded and said, “We got it all cleared. Now let’s just pray for a clear day.” Dave smiled and replied, “Don’t worry, Hotch. It’s gonna be perfect. Now go and get Jack. You don’t want him waiting at school the day before his birthday.” With that statement of encouragement, Aaron left the office and waved bye to Emily and Spencer who were still in the bullpen. Both agents told him that they’d see him tomorrow. 

Aaron drove to Jack’s preschool and parked. On Fridays, when Hotch had Jack for the weekends, his son stayed after school at a reading program. The extra half-hour gave him time to get from the office and to the school. Aaron hopped out of the car and moved inside. He signed Jack out and the coordinator of the program sent Jack out to his dad. Jack’s face lit up, as he ran on small legs to hug his dad. Hotch accepted the gesture happily and said, “Hey bud! You’re looking sharp today in your button-up. Is that new?” Jack nodded happily and said, “Mhm. Garret got to for me as an early present.” Aaron smiled and replied, “Well it looks great son. How about we go home, maybe stop at the park on the way there?” Jack nodded giddily and started toward the door excitedly. At the park, Hotch played with his son on the playground and ended up pushing him on the swings higher and higher into the air. Aaron didn’t make any more comments about the fact that Haley’s new partner was getting his son clothes. It was a nice gesture, but it made Hotch wonder if the man was trying to buy his son’s affection. He didn’t want to read into it too much, but he couldn’t help do it a little. After the separation from Haley, things felt different. Of course, they did. But Aaron hadn’t expected it to be so difficult. Sometimes he felt like he was walking on eggshells around Haley, and now Garret. He didn’t want there to be any tension, especially for his son’s sake. It made Aaron feel like a normal human having to deal with these kinds of situations. Not that he thought he was extraordinary or anything, just that profiling usually allowed him to read situations better. In the case of his personal life, he wasn’t succeeding in it well. When the park became boring to Jack, and Aaron made sure his son had gotten some of his extra post-school energy out, they headed for home. In the car, Jack asked, “Daddy, can we get pizza tonight?” Hotch smiled in the front seat, looked at Jack in the rearview, and said, “Not tonight. Remember that we’re having pizza at your party tomorrow and I don’t want you to get tired of it before your big day.” Jack sulked in the back. However, he quickly turned around and asked, “What are we having then?” Aaron smiled and said, “It thought maybe some chicken nuggets and Mac and Cheese?” Hearing this, Jack smiled, but it fell when Aaron added, “And some peas and carrots.” Jack made a gagging face at the mention of vegetables and he replied, “You know we gotta eat those veggies to have the good stuff kiddo.” Jack continued to sulk but knew that this was a rule for both Dad and Mom’s house and as much as he fought it, it was what they’d set up. 

The rest of the night went by quickly. Jack ate his dinner with little fuss, and after a bedtime story, he went to sleep excited for his birthday tomorrow. Once Jack’s night light was on and he was tucked in, Aaron moved into the kitchen on soft feet. He poured himself a glass of white to relax for the rest of the evening. He moved to the couch and grabbed the novel he was currently reading. He was trying to relax more for himself and Jack’s sake. He knew being stressed all the time was bad for his health and given how his father had died young, he wasn’t planning on repeating that for Jack. Of course in Aaron’s case, he was happy for his father to be gone. It was a blessing more than anything else. The relief he felt at his father’s passing was something he still hadn’t processed, but for now, he was fine. He had to be fine for Jack and the team's sake. Aaron pushed the thought aside and dove into his book and let the night slip away like sand in an hourglass. 

In the morning, Hotch took his normal long Saturday run at 5:00 a.m. The pounding of his feet on the pavement was a great way to get the stress out for the day ahead. Running had become therapeutic for him as it gave him something to do in the early hours of the morning when he naturally woke up and had nothing to do to fill the space before Jack woke up for the day. They had been even longer runs before he and Haley had set up the visiting schedule with his son. But now that it was sorted out, and they were doing their best to co-parent, things had finally slipped into place a bit more. When Aaron got home, he started some coffee on the machine and moved to his room. He stripped off his sweaty shirt and pants along with his briefs. He threw them all in the laundry basket in his closet. Once the shower was suitably warm, he stepped under the flow of the water and let his muscles relax. He played through what the day might look like and remembered that he’d have to text _y/n_ about where the gate to Rossi’s backyard was for her surprise entrance. This thought came to him as he was rinsing the suds out of his short hair. He tipped his head back a little more so no soap got in his eyes. He was at the age in his life where a warm shower could just make the morning and this one was doing just that. Even after he was clean, he stood under the water for a few minutes more. When he was content, he stepped out and dried off. 

When he had his clothes on and teeth brushed, Hotch moved to Jack’s room and woke him gently. Jack turned on his side and opened his eyes slowly. He smiled up at this dad and said, “Hey,” in a sleepy voice. Aaron knelt near his bed and said, “Morning Buddy. Happy Birthday.” It was like Jack had forgotten it was his birthday and sat up and said, “It’s my birthday!” in an excited voice. Hotch gave a little laugh and said, “Yup. It’s a big day for a big boy. Now how about you pick out an outfit for the day and then come into the kitchen? We can grab some breakfast and watch cartoons until we need to head to Uncle Rossi’s?” Jack nodded excitedly as he scrambled out of bed. Aaron watched with a smile as Jack got some clothes from his small dresser. Hotch moved back to the kitchen and got his first cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal for his son. By the time Jack was out of his room, Spider-Man was on the TV and they settled on the couch near the screen and ate their breakfast. Jack was wearing jeans and his Spider-Man t-shirt that Aaron had gotten him last month. At around eleven, Hotch looked down at Jack and said, “Alright bud, I think it’s time that we head over to your party. How about that?” Jack nodded and moved off the couch for his shoes. Aaron turned off the TV and grabbed his jacket, keys, and wallet. The drive over to Rossi’s was filled with some music and Jack’s excited feet kicking up and down in his seat. It didn’t take long to get to the site of the party and Hotch recognized Derek and JJ’s cars on the street already. He smiled as he and Jack moved down the sidewalk and to Rossi’s large glass door. Dave opened the door for the birthday boy, and he gave Jack a big hug which was then increased as Derek, Spencer, Penelope, and JJ, came into the entryway. There were greetings on all sides, and the guests started to arrive. As the party picked up, the kids started playing some games inside. Haley, who had shown up with a big pack of guests was mingling with the other parents and making them feel welcome. Aaron was telling the parents where to put the gifts while Haley was telling the adults where the grown-up drinks were and where the kid’s drinks were. Once all the parents had been greeted, Hotch walked over to Haley and gave her a light hug asking how she was doing. She replied, “Oh I’m doing good. Work is a pain like always, but when isn’t it? How about you? Any pressing cases right now?” Hotch nodded no and replied, “Thankfully not, but now you’ve said something about it Strauss will probably call me right now.” Haley let out a laugh and said “Well if that happens I’ll be happy to throw your cell out the window for you.” Now Aaron laughed. As worried as he had been, now that he was here, everything felt okay for now. He was glad that he and Haley could still have a relationship, a friendly one, after everything they had been through. He cleared his throat and said, “We’d better go and talk to some of the parents. Dave loves mingling, but not that much.” Haley smiled and nodded, and they both moved to the kitchen and living areas to talk and watch the party. 

After a few minutes of party games and Aaron circling around and saying special thank you’s to the team for coming. The pizza arrived and Aaron, Haley, and the rest of the parents made sure that the kids stayed at the kid’s tables set up in the kitchen to stop any mess from spreading into Rossi’s living room and white couches. After everyone had had a slice or two of some good old-fashioned pepperoni or cheese, Hotch suggested that the kids go out and play a round of soccer on the lawn. He’d made sure to bring along a soccer ball for this exact occasion. He also made sure to text _y/n_ that the birthday boy would be outside in a moment. _y/n_ responded that she was ready whenever the kids came outside. Initiating the plan, Aaron tossed Jack the soccer ball and opened the door for his son and his friends. A few of the parents moved out with their kids. Jack ran around marking the goalposts and while he was very interested in setting a stick down for the middle of the backyard to mark the middle of their make-believe field, _y/n_ slipped in the back gate. Hotch and a few of the other kids noticed and cried out in excitement with little screams of happiness. However, Jack was too obsessed with his game to notice. Aaron let out a little laugh and approached his son. He tapped Jack on the shoulder and said, “Hey, buddy, I think someone’s here to see you.” Jack looked up at his dad who was kneeling on the grass. The little boy looked over to where Aaron was looking. Hotch watched as Jack’s eyes went wide and he whispered, “Spider-Man?” And then more enthusiastically, “Spider-Man!” Jack ran over and gave _y/n_ a tight hug around her legs. Aaron was surprised how convincing _y/n_ looked in the costume. He chalked it up to youth, and again, he was incredibly grateful he didn’t have to don the costume himself because heaven knew he wouldn’t look like that. 

_y/n_ smiled as the little boy sprinted over as quickly as he could. She knew it was the birthday boy because his dad, Mr. Hotchner, had described him and told her his name was Jack. Before the little boy had noticed her, _y/n_ watched as, who she assumed was Jack’s dad, kneeled near him. The man was strikingly attractive. Mr. Hotchner had sounded nice on the phone. He had a deep, rich voice that carried well over the line, but _y/n_ hadn’t expected him to look as nice as he sounded. It was a rarity for the dads to set up this kind of thing. It made _y/n_ respect the man who clearly understood what his kid enjoyed. _y/n_ snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Hotch when Jack made contact with her legs. _y/n_ knelt and gave Jack a hug. The little boy asked in awe, “Spider-Man, what are you doing here?” _y/n_ smiled under her mask and said, “Well I was swinging around the neighborhood and someone spilled that it was your Birthday, so I thought I’d have to come by and say Happy Birthday!” Jack’s eyes stayed wide and he said, “Who told you?” _y/n_ looked over to Aaron who was standing now and was looking at the pair with a stunning smile. Jack followed her gaze to his dad. Jack’s jaw dropped and he said, “Daddy knows Spider-Man!” _y/n_ put her finger to her lips and made a “shhh-ing” sound before saying, “He does, but we can’t let anyone else know. You know how those villains get when that kind of information gets out.” Jack closed his mouth and nodded solemnly. _y/n_ didn’t want to keep Jack away from his friends for too long and noticed the soccer ball and said, “Hey how about we play some soccer with your friends?” Jack nodded enthusiastically and moved toward his friends excitedly to tell them that Spider-Man was going to play with them. The kids and _y/n_ spent about twenty-five minutes playing. _y/n_ made sure the ball stayed almost entirely with the kids and Jack and cheered when anyone made a “goal.” _y/n_ looked over at Aaron for a second and noted that he was now talking to a woman and another man. _y/n_ wasn’t close enough to hear what was being said, but even with the mask on, Mr. Hotchner didn’t look too comfortable. _y/n_ didn’t have a chance to question it too much as one of Jack’s friends approached them and said, “Can you show us some of your moves!” _y/n_ let out a laugh and said, “Well I can try, but I’m a bit sore from fighting Doc Ock a few blocks over, so let’s see what I’ve got.” The boy called out that Spider-Man was going to do some tricks and that got the attention of most of the kids and some of the parents, including the trio, that included Hotch. _y/n_ moved to the open part of the yard and did a cartwheel into a superhero pose and all the kids cheered, _y/n_ kept doing _a/t/y/k_ for a few minutes. When _y/n_ was all out of stunts, she asked, “Now how about y’all? Do any of you have any superhero moves?” A hoard of hands went up and _y/n_ organized an informal competition for all the kids to show off there summersaults and jumps and kicks, all of which were ten-out-of-tens! After a few minutes of judging, the woman that Aaron was talking to came up to her and said, “Sweetheart, why don’t you take a quick break inside? You must be baking in that costume. Jack will keep you here all night if you let him.” _y/n_ smiled and nodded saying, “Thanks, that would be nice. I can be back out in a few minutes.” Haley nodded and said, “Take your time. I can handle them for a few minutes.” _y/n_ nodded again and moved into the fancy house for the first time. 

The open doors lead to a nice open kitchen with marble countertops and brass barstools. Once _y/n_ was sure none of the kids were watching, she stripped off the mask covering her face. _y/n_ took a deep breath. Not that the mask was hard to breathe in, just a bit claustrophobic. The woman who had offered her a reprieve had been right, _y/n_ was very hot in the form-fitting costume. _y/n_ assumed the blonde-haired woman was Jack’s mom. For some reason _y/n_ started to wonder if she and Mr. Hotchner were still married. From the way Mr. Hotchner had been standing uncomfortably, it seemed that perhaps there was some tension there. _y/n_ cursed her brain that saw things that weren’t probably there and found anyone older than her attractive. This wasn’t why she was here. This was the furthest reason she was here. Thankfully _y/n_ was pulled from these thoughts when someone said, “You’re really good at this; you know that, right?” _y/n_ turned around and saw a pretty brunette woman who was moving toward the bar with an empty wineglass in hand. _y/n_ smiled and said, “Thank you. I’m still kind of new to this, so I’m happy to hear I don’t look like a complete fool out there.” The woman smiled and said, “Far from it! You’re doing awesome. I know you’ve made Jack’s day.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Thanks. He seems like a great kid.” The woman smiled and stepped forward with a hand extended. _y/n_ took it and the woman said, “Emily, Prentiss.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “_y/n_ _y/l/n_. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Emily smiled and said, “Same here.” _y/n_was very happy she’d taken this job now. She was rarely acknowledged by anyone at parties, and at this one, she’d been offered a break and someone had noticed her existence. It was a nice reprieve as _y/n_ had been questioning her life choices recently. 

Someone else came into the room and looked at Emily and _y/n_. The bearded man looked at _y/n_ and asked, “You want a drink, kid? I’d say you’ve earned one with how happy you’ve made Jack. We’ve got wine and beer in a cooler if that’s more your thing.” _y/n_ smiled and replied, “Thank you for the offer, but it’s company policy that we don’t drink on the job. I think one or two Elsa’s had one too many and caused some problems, thus the policy.” _y/n_’s candidness had Emily almost snorting out her wine while she laughed hard. The man also chuckled and said, “You sure, we have plenty.” Prentiss composed herself and said, “Oh come on Rossi, we don’t want to get her fired.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “I appreciate it, but I really shouldn’t. I have another party after this one. If I didn’t, I’d be tempted. You’re a very kind host.” Dave gave _y/n_ a soft smile. Shortly after, Aaron entered the room and said, “I think the kids are going to come in to do cakes and presents, so you might need to put the mask back on?” _y/n_ nodded and adjusted her wig cap, holding all her hair at bay before slipping the mask back on and zipping it up the back. _y/n_ joked and said, “Ready for duty Mr. Hotchner.” Aaron nodded and said, “Please, just call me Aaron. Now let me see if I can wrangle Jack and his friends in here.” The next half hour was spent with cake, singing, and presents. Jack tried very hard to offer _y/n_ some cake, but _y/n_ adeptly replied, “Well, I’d love some, but if I take off my mask, well everyone would know who I am, and you know that can’t happen.” Jack nodded again like he was fully in the know of his favorite superhero’s life and problems. After the presents, _y/n_ took pictures with Jack and anyone else who wanted some, which was almost all of the kids. The two hours went by more quickly than usual and as some guests started to leave the party, wishing Jack the happiest of birthdays, Aaron pulled _y/n_ into the entryway and wrote out a check to _y/n_. He added a nice tip and said, “Jack had had a blast to have Spider-man at his party.” _y/n_ had taken off her mask and gloves again and when Hotch handed her the check she said, “Thanks for asking for me. I had a lot of fun with Jack and his friends today. He’s really lucky to have a dad like you.” Hotch’s cheeks took on a tinge of color at the compliment. Half of the time he felt like he was doing the parenting thing all wrong, so it was nice to come from such an unbiased source. He cleared his throat and said, “Thank you. You really made Jack’s day special.” _y/n_ smiled and said, “Tell him I said happy birthday again, please.” Hotch nodded and _y/n_ moved out the door because if she didn’t, she felt like she could stand there in her costume forever just looking at Aaron. 

Outside, _y/n_ felt a wave of disappointment at herself. The sadness wasn’t from the party, perhaps it was leaving a party was where it was coming from. It was so clear that the person being celebrated was loved and cared for. Someone who had a community around them. This job was great, but _y/n_ saw a lot of sad kids and it made her sad too. It didn’t help that working for a knockoff princess company was never on her life goals list. _y/n_ swallowed back emotions she had not been expecting when that soothing warm voice called out behind her. _y/n_ turned around and wiped her eyes before saying, “Hey Aaron, did I forget something in there.” Hotch tipped his head to the side, slightly confused why _y/n_ seemed to almost be in tears. He nodded his head no and said, “No, um, Jack insisted that I bring you out a piece of cake.” He held up a plate covered in plastic wrap. _y/n_ could see the vanilla cake with red and blue frosting beneath the plastic, and _y/n_ gave a small laugh. She looked over at Aaron as she reached for the plate and said, “That was nice of him, and you. Thank you.” _y/n_ turned and put it in the passenger seat of her car, but Hotch continued to stand there.

Finally, Aaron asked, “Are you okay, _y/n_? You seem upset. Has something happened.” _y/n_ didn’t know why, but talking to Hotch felt safe, and she sniffled and said, “Did you ever feel like you took a wrong turn in your life somewhere? Like it’s going in the wrong direction or nowhere at all?” Hotch furrowed his brow at the existential question. He slowly said, “I have. Are you feeling that, _y/n_?” He was concerned for _y/n_ now. She was young and had so much life left to live. Questions like these could weigh heavy on someone. _y/n_ sighed, leaning against her car, replying, “I guess so. I just feel kind of lost. I never saw anything like this in the cards for me.” Aaron nodded and wanted to reassure _y/n_ that life could get better. He said, “I’ve felt that way before. I’ve seen dreams of mine fade away, or realize that my dreams weren’t dreams at all. I’ve felt the same thing with a job. I had to be forgiving of myself. But it got better with time. I promise you things can get better with time, _y/n_.” _y/n_ was crying now and said, “You say that. You’re an actual hero, I heard Emily and Derek talk about the fact that you’re all in the FBI. Look at me, I just play at one. I thought I had my whole life planned out. The job I did before this was nothing like this. I feel embarrassed for being so wrong. So naive.” Hotch moved forward and put a hand on _y/n_’s shoulder like a father might. He looked into _y/n_’s eyes and said, “Listen to me. Today you were a hero to my son. You were his idol and he was so happy to have met you. And so am I. Just because I do a hard job doesn’t make yours any less worthy. Even if it’s just temporary.” _y/n_ wanted to believe him and nodded softly, still sniffling. Hotch moved closer and gave _y/n_ a hug. Something to reassure her. _y/n_ leaned into the embrace and listened to Aaron repeat himself, “It gets better if you can give yourself time.” _y/n_ nodded into his chest which was like a shield against the rest of the world and her own thoughts. _y/n_ pulled away eventually and she said, “Thank you for talking to me, Sorry to pull you away from the party.” Aaron gave her a gentle smile and said, “I think you needed to let some things out. I’m happy to listen. If you’re ever feeling terrible, you could call me. I might not pick up right away, but you can call.” _y/n_ nodded, and suddenly felt like she was part of Aaron and Jack’s community too. 

After saying thank you again, _y/n_ got in her car, and Aaron moved back to the house. As _y/n_ drove toward the next party, the fact that her life hadn’t panned out the way she planned suddenly didn’t feel so shameful. Maybe if she tried to give herself time she could figure out what her real passions were and how to take the next step forward. For now, she could be someone’s hero, even for just a few hours. And if she couldn’t, she had one very loving father in her corner. At least there was that.

______________________________________________________________

Tag List: @geminitapestry @princessjax @potatovoyager

Want to be added to my tag list? Please see this post, CM Tag List (linked)

Want to request a fic or mood board? My requests are open. Please see this post before requesting, CM Request Post (linked)

[funky-cheese]

Fav quotes from a convo with one of my fav persons

me: im going to get a concussion from this fic lmao me: i need to restrain myself them: Pls tell me ur joking me: im so not normal about marvle its unreal me: this fic has me kciking my feet and giggling me: its so pookie wookie them: Im glad youre enjoying it but pls dont injure yourself for serotonin its not very physically healthy

them: MOTHERFUCKER I DROPPED IT [Mac & Cheese] ALL IN THE SINK me: NOOO WHT them: IN THE FUCKING SINK. SON OF A BITCH them: SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH them: Oh my god im killing your parents them: OH NO WAY WAIT DID HE DIE me: what he died in 2020 me: chadwick??? me: bro has been dead

them: Did you pass me a sickness over discord them: Take back your sickness them: I dont want it

[im00flynn]

I need your opinion, I've been thinking about writing fanfiction based on horror movies characters, and I want to write about Scream characters (1-6) and Midsommar, I have a couple of ideas for fics, I will still write for marvle and for other horror movies. Should I do it?

[harbinger-of-chaossss]

Master list post

(original links: 1,2)

I keep forgetting to add some sort of bio to my tumblr so my bad if this looks clunky

💥 my name’s MK! I’m trans and ace and my pronouns are he/him ey/em. This blog is just kinda here to spill out any kinda rambling from my brain, or I just post edits n stuff

💥 I’m 18+ (tho I don’t really care who’s on my blog as long as you’re not weird) and this blog has been around since I was… 14 I think? I started as a marvel blog, then ninjago blog (my main username for the longest time was I-stole-jays-pudding-cup) and I keeps changing themes every couple months depending on what my autisms attached to.

(Update: I’m sticking with harbinger-of-chaossss but my prev user was sad-soup-sonic)

💥 turfs will be blocked✨

💥 I post art on here occasionally but don’t have a specific tag for anything so just search #myart on my blog if you want to see anything I’ve made (do NOT repost my art)

💥 You can also find stuff under #MKtalks:P but that’s basically just rambling

💥 If you wanna ask me anything or send stuff my asks and DM’s are always open✉️✨(I currently have 9 asks but only one is visible?? so if I don’t respond after a week or so assume tumblr ate it)

I would link stuff I made in this section but I haven’t really posted any AU’s or fic’s😅

And the list of fandoms I’ve been in feels long so I’m putting it under here incase anyone actually wants to read it:

In alphabetical order

Aphmau

AvA stickmen

ducktales

Fool’s gold (D&D)

Good omens

Hellovaboss

Inanimate insanity

Mao Mao hero’s of pure heart

Marvle

Minecraft story mode

Monkie kid

Murderdrones

Ninjago

Object fandom

ROTTNMT

Solarballs

Sonic the hedgehog

Splatoon

The last of us

The owl house

+DEFINITELY MORE

[ao3-stucky]

Rogers the musical: The Story of a Liar

Read on AO3

by A_Wild_Glitch__InTheServer

Five grown men, a teenage boy and a CEO of a major company with her daughter walk into a theater, prepared to sit through the 2 and a half hours of Rogers The Musical.

No one was prepared for what they were about to witness

Or: Me not knowing how to write comedy for 1000+ words

 This fic Is inspierd by a TikTok made by @emptyjunior. They make really funny DC and Marvle skits.

Words: 1655, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker, Clint Barton

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Crack, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, One Shot, Inspired by TikTok

from AO3 works tagged 'James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers' https://archiveofourown.org/works/48187177

[ao3feed-stevebucky]

Rogers the musical: The Story of a Liar

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/AGspKFa

by A_Wild_Glitch__InTheServer

Five grown men, a teenage boy and a CEO of a major company with her daughter walk into a theater, prepared to sit through the 2 and a half hours of Rogers The Musical.

No one was prepared for what they were about to witness

Or: Me not knowing how to write comedy for 1000+ words

 This fic Is inspierd by a TikTok made by @emptyjunior. They make really funny DC and Marvle skits.

Words: 1655, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker, Clint Barton

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Crack, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, One Shot, Inspired by TikTok

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/AGspKFa

[savemefromanepicoftimewasted]

Second Best

Past!Moon Knight Trio X Reader Santiago Garcia X Reader Past!MK Trio X Layla El-Faouly If Marc had been paying closer attention, he’d have noticed you about to collide with him. The box of cereal you were carrying dropped to the floor, along with his plastic basket. Steven immediately fronted, unsure if Marc had slipped into the headspace due to shock or not. a/n:this is strictly angst fueled by my friend @gaylemonshark feedback is highly appreciated!

You had noticed Marc starting to pull away, seeming to do more missions for Khonshu more often than anything. He’d be gone for days, sometimes weeks at a time with no updates on if he were alive. It hadn’t bothered you at first, Steven would send a message letting you know how things were going, no matter how brief, they always helped put you at ease.

There were some nights you met the third alter, Jake Lockley. He’d nearly begged you not to tell the other two, and that he would in due time. So you kept your mouth shut and kept going about your daily life. But when Marc hadn’t been home for nearly two months, Steven stepping through with his phone pressed to his ear, you could feel things falling apart.

Until one day, they finally did.

“It doesn’t fucking matter! It’s not the first time I’ve had to leave in the middle of the night, why is tonight so different?” Marc was seething, hands clenched into fists by his side.

“You can’t be serious, you know exactly why tonight is different!” It’d been your anniversary, one year with the man who had two different alters.

You’re still not sure either of them know about Jake, neither Steven or Marc have said anything about him.

“You know what? I didn’t want to say this, but this? This means nothing to me,” Marc gestured between the pair of you, brow still furrowed as he stared at you.

“What?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, unfortunately that did little to deter Marc.

“I’m still in love with Layla, hell so is Steven! This wasn’t supposed to last, you were just filling a hole until we could figure things out with her. But instead of that, you’ve practically moved yourself in, how fucking blind are you?” Marc’s words cut deep, deeper than any knife ever could.

Your eyes slowly filled with tears, the realization that you truly were not loved like you’d hoped, washing over you like a bucket of ice cold water.

Marc! What the bloody hell are you doing?!

“It’s always been Layla for me, I’ve seen the way Steven looks at her, he’s never looked at you the way he does for her. We love her,” Marc continued to ignore Steven’s angry protests, his hands shaking by his sides. “Why would I marry someone I’ve never loved? With Layla things were different, we loved one another. You? You were nothing more than a body to warm my bed at night, filling a hole until things worked out between her and I. You really think Steven loved you, with the way he’d look at her? I’d never marry someone as stupid and blindly ignorant as you. I deserve better than that.”

“Okay,” Your voice was devoid of any, and all emotion.

The tears had begun to slide down your face, dripping onto the collar of your shirt as you begged to pack the few things you’d moved into Steven’s flat.

Marc had expected you to scream, to hurl insults at him as if it were as easy as breathing. This truly terrified him. Layla would have screamed at him, demanded answers he’d refuse to give.

Give me the goddamn body! I can’t fucking believe you!

Once you had everything packed into your bag you turned back to face Marc, your eyes were blank, almost hollow as you stared at the other man. The smile that pulled up your lips didn’t reach your eyes at all.

“I’ve never been anyone's first choice, and I’ve come to terms with it. So I’m sorry for wasting your time,” You turned towards the way, gripping the bag tighter as you walked out of the flat.

Steven was still screaming at Marc, desperate to speak to you even if for only a moment. Marc was still dumbstruck, feet planted on the floor. He’d made a huge mistake. 2 Years Later Marc wasn’t entirely sure when things between him and Layla had changed, when she started to spend more time away than at home. Sure, they weren’t living together anymore, and he’d left behind the life he had with you. “I met someone, it’s been going surprisingly well for us, he makes me really happy,” Layla’s voice sounded faraway to Marc’s ears. When had his life managed to fall apart this badly? “Oh, that’s great, I’m really happy for you,” Marc had assumed things were going great between them, they’d spent nearly everyday that neither of them were busy together.

It’d been nothing but a pipe dream, a hopeful idea that Marc was worthy of being happy for once, that the things his mother said were all lies.

“I’ve already signed the papers, so you’ll need to find a lawyer,” Layla seemed almost nervous as she sipped her wine, glancing over at Marc.

“That’s fine, I’ll take a look tonight and see what I can do on short notice,” Marc’s voice had an edge of pain, and guilt.

You had always been on the back of his mind, Steven refusing to front for nearly three months while Marc picked up the pieces, lied to Layla about where he’d truly been. Gods, you both deserved so much better than Marc could ever give you.

“I’m sorry things ended this way, Marc, you know I want nothing but the best for you,” Layla frowned, placing her hand atop of his own.

Nothing mattered anymore, he’d lost everything.

Marc had nearly wanted to let Steven front, let himself be hidden from the pain and suffering he’d have to endure every time they met with their lawyers. Unfortunately Steven’s handwriting was too nice compared to Marc’s chicken scratch of a signature. So he toughed it out, met with Layla and her lawyer, Matt, each week until the decision was final. They were officially divorced in a little over six months, Layla getting the house they’d bought together while Marc packed up his things and left.

Steven didn’t mention that he’d miss working at the museum, even if Donna would get on his case over the smallest inconveniences. Marc sure as hell wasn’t going to miss it, not when he’d accidentally front during one of Steven’s shifts and have to finish the day for him.

They were working in tandem most days, switching much easier than before. They still had the occasional blackout, unsure of what was happening to the other. Knuckles bruised, skin torn enough to show the tendons and muscle beneath the layers.

“Maybe I should see a therapist, then again they’d probably think I was insane for even trying to mention you,” Marc muttered to his reflection.

Steven stared back at him, a frown pulling down his face as he struggled to figure out how to approach the subject. How did someone who couldn’t physically comfort someone, truly comfort them?

“People suffer from our condition Marc, they wouldn’t think you’re crazy at all,” Steven said, shrugging his shoulders as he watched Marc pace around the apartment.

“Steven, just drop it for now, I have to go grocery shopping since someone didn’t do it when I asked,” Marc glared over at the mirror once more.

The duo had a schedule they stuck to almost religiously, it was easier than fighting over who took care of what chore. Well that was before Jake showed up, that threw a wrench in their plans before either alter could blink.

“I said I was going to do it tomorrow, we have plenty of food to last the night anyway,” Steven didn’t want to argue with Marc, lord knows the man was too hot headed for his own good.

Ignoring Steven entirely, Marc grabbed his coat and wallet, trudging out of the apartment with an annoyed huff.

The shop was thankfully quiet, barely anyone walking around as Marc perused the different aisles. He obviously wanted to get more vegan options for Steven, even if he himself was still eating meat. 

If Marc had been paying closer attention, he’d have noticed you about to collide with him. The box of cereal you were carrying dropped to the floor along with the plastic basket he’d been carrying. Steven immediately fronted, unsure if Marc had slipped into the headspace due to shock or not. You timidly reached down, picking up the box before someone could kick it away.

“Y/N?” Steven’s jaw dropped open, how the hell were you here? Hadn’t you gone back home to be with your family after the breakup?

“Oh, hey,” You bit your lip gently, looking over your shoulder for a brief moment before catching Steven’s gaze.

Marc had forced himself to front, to prove to himself that he could face you once more. Steven wasn’t too pleased to be put on the back burner during one of your conversations again.

“Hi, long time no see,” Marc mentally kicked himself, gods he sounded so dumb.

“That was the point, Marc, you told me I meant nothing to you, so why would I stick around?” Your voice sounded harsh even to you, it was all due to Marc’s ignorance.

“Look, I messed up, I know that now. Is there anywhere we could talk?” It was a shot in the dark, a sliver of hope that he’d hold onto for the rest of his life.

You went to open your mouth, to tell him you’d moved on and found someone else to spend your life with that wasn’t him. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on whom you asked, the answers would differ.

A man walked up behind you, arms wrapping around your waist in a tight embrace, lips pressed against your cheek. Marc had no right to be upset, he’d been the one to break your heart, to say those awful things like you’d never truly meant anything to him. Yet, standing here watching this man embrace you cut even deeper.

“Hola mi amor, ¿de quién es tu amigo?” The man glanced over to Marc, brow raised as he looked him over.

“Behave yourself, this is an old friend of mine, Marc Spector,” So you never told him the truth, or maybe you were ashamed of how things ended.

Marc held out a hand to the other man, though he wanted nothing more than to run off like a dog with his tail between his legs. The man, whom Marc had presumed was your boyfriend, took his hand in a tight handshake.

“Santiago, it’s nice to finally meet you,” His smile was friendly enough, but Marc could see the fire deep down in his gaze.

He was a protector, ready to throw Marc back if it meant keeping you safe.

“Marc and I were just catching up, if you want to finish getting the rest of the stuff we need?” You pouted your lip at Santiago, a brightness in your eyes Marc had never seen before.

Is that what you actually looked like when you were happy? Without a care in the world to your surroundings.

“si por supuesto mi amor,” Santiago pressed a kiss to your lips, pulling your bodies flush together for a brief moment.

You giggled when he pulled away, grabbing the cart to head off to a different part of the store. If Marc had paid any more attention he’d have noticed the ring sitting on your left hand. It wasn’t until Steven forced himself to front that he took notice, the diamonds shining even in the dimly lit store.

“You’re engaged?” Steven hadn’t meant for it to sound too rude, as if you had no right to marry anyone besides himself.

“Yes, our engagement parties this weekend, you should come,” You knew you were goading him, waiting to see what he’d finally spill free.

Steven wanted to scream, to beg for you to come back into their lives, that he did indeed still truly love you. It was too late though, he’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it like a big boy.

“I’m not sure how much Marc would like that,” Steven fidgeted with the jacket Marc had thrown on before leaving the apartment. It was a habit he couldn’t quite break.

“I’m not asking for Marc to be there, Steven,” It was never subtle that you were closer to Steven than Marc. That didn’t mean you treated them any differently, you just had an easier time with the Brit than the army brat.

“Y/N, you know we’re part of the same body, I can’t do that to him,” Steven would do anything you asked of him, no matter the consequences.

“If you end up changing your mind, here’s the invite,” You reached into your bag, handing him a small envelope.

Both their names were written across the slightly aged paper, had you planned on inviting them, after all that had happened? You truly were too good for them.

“I have to go, Santi and I are babysitting tonight and need to be home before the kids get there,” Steven could only nod and watch as you went in search of your fiance.  ~~~~~

Santi had been watching you all night, the way you talked with his friends so easily, Frankie’s daughter Lilly hanging off your hip like it came so naturally to you. You’d told him about the invite, and that you weren’t entirely sure Marc would even show up. He’d helped calm you down before the kids were due to show up, holding you tight to his chest as you cried.

That was the night he learned the truth about Marc, about the horrific things he’d spewed as if he were talking to someone he truly despised, rather than you. Santiago knew deep down that you were still hurting, trauma like that takes years to overcome, and he was determined to help you through it all.

“Uncle Santi! Lilly’s calling for you!” You sing-songed as you walk over to him, hands cradling the nearly ten month old.

Santi opened his arms, taking the squirming baby from your arms with a smile.

“Well hello there gorgeous, did you miss your Uncle that much?” Lilly had clung to Santi like a bee to a flower.

There had been times people mistook the pair of you as her parents, though you always corrected them and said you were simply the Aunt and Uncle of the little bundle.

It was something he’d never given much thought to, considering what he used to do for work he couldn’t imagine putting that pressure on you. So he pushed it to the farthest corner of his mind and babysat whenever he could.

“You look good with a baby in your arms,” Your smirk was downright devilish, sending a shiver up his spine.

“As do you, mi amor,” You could never get over whenever Santi spoke Spanish to you.

It would be playful when you were in public, or with friends, mainly because Frankie also spoke Spanish and didn’t want to hear your gross thoughts.

The bedroom however was a different story, the filthy things he’d whisper in your ear as you laid between the sheets, bodies pressed flush together.

“Well, we’re getting married in a few weeks, you change your mind on kids?” It was a mutual decision between the two of you to not have children until you were ultimately ready. If the time never felt right, you’d still be happy together.

“Maybe I did, I want nothing more than to put a baby in you,” Gods, who let Santiago out in public with a mouth like that? As soon as you went to retort, the door opening caught your attention. Unfortunately the person stepping inside was neither Marc, nor Steven.

“I didn’t think you were going to show, but I guess you proved me wrong,” You turned to face him, hands on your hips almost defiantly.

Jake raised a brow, staring you down.

“Bueno, hola a ti también, me diste una invitación, ¿recuerdas?” So that’s how things were going to be?

“No, I gave Marc the invitation, I didn’t give it to you Jake,” You wanted nothing more than to slap the other man. It was clear neither Marc, nor Steven wanted to come.

“You can’t be serious, you’re actually upset with me right now?” Jake could see your fiance watching from where you’d left him.

“Yes! This is my engagement party Jake, if the other two didn’t feel comfortable coming at all, you shouldn’t have done this to them,” It nearly pissed you off, but you weren’t going to let him ruin your day.

“Sabes que esto te extraño, ¿verdad? Eres todo lo que pueden hablar,” That truly wasn’t what you needed to hear. “I moved on, Jake, they don’t get to decide things for me anymore,” You were tempted to get Santi to throw him out, or maybe even Frankie and Benny.

“Layla asked for a divorce, Marc’s been blaming himself since that night, no matter how much Steven and I tell him you won’t take us back,” Jake looked uncomfortable now, as if he was spilling his darkest secrets.

And maybe he was, because you’d always assumed things between him and Layla worked out, and that they were happy again.

“That’s not my problem, Jake, Marc was the one who pushed me away, he doesn’t get to have his cake and eat it too,” Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, you never wanted to hurt any of the boys, but goddamnit you were hurting!

Jake opened his mouth to reply, closing it instantly as Santi walked over, wrapping an arm around your waist.

“Is there a problem?” Santi leveled Jake with one look, arm kept tight around your body.

Jake looked nervous, something you’d never seen on his face ever in your life. He was the strong one, the alter that took over whenever the other two were overwhelmed.

“Not at all, just talking about the past is all,” Jake smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets without a second thought.

“You alright babe?” Santi looked at you, to truly assess the situation. You’d always tell him if you’d been uncomfortable. “Yeah, just a misunderstanding, parties almost over anyway,” Everyone had started to pack up their things, getting ready to head out for the night.

“I’m gonna help clean up, call if you need anything,” Santi pressed a kiss to your cheek, heading off to help clean up.

Jake watched as Santiago walked away, hands balled into fists in his pockets. He’d always dreamt of coming in and sweeping you off your feet. That wouldn’t happen though, not with this newcomer in his way.

“I love him, Jake, he treats me like an actual person. Please don’t ruin this for me,” You’d hoped your voice wouldn’t crack, that tears wouldn’t spill down your cheeks anymore for the man standing across from you.

“Just, don't tell the other two when you get married, okay? I’m not sure how well Marc would handle it,” Jake knew that if Marc found out how soon you were getting married he’d do something reckless.

“Alright, I won’t tell them,” You muttered, turning back towards Santi.

“If you want me there, I’ll go, but I don’t want to upset them. You deserve better than Marc’s anger,” You scoffed, where had that mentality been when Marc was berating you in the old apartment?

“Don’t do this to me, I didn’t deserve any of what he did to me, but here we are,” You crossed your arms over your chest.

This would just delve into another argument, neither of you winning what seemed to be a dick measuring contest. Jake had always been the absolute worst when it came to seeing reason, worse off than Marc when it came to actually talking about any issues.

“Look, I’m going to leave so I don’t ruin the rest of your night, okay?” Jake pulled you into a hug, tightening his arms as yours wrapped around his waist.

“Siempre seras mi favorita,” Jake’s words cut deep, how could they do this to you? 

“I’ll see you in a few weeks, make sure to wear something nice,” You patted his side, stepping back to give you a few feet of space.

Jake waited for Santiago to swoop back in, to show everyone that you were with him, it made him feel uneasy for a brief moment.

“I’ll wear my best suit,” Jake nodded before turning to leave.

To your surprise Santi gave you space, knowing full well that something had happened and he hadn’t wanted to upset you further. This was a sensitive time for the both of you, and the last thing he needed was an argument, especially one fueled by an ex.

Things were going to be just fine.

Wedding Day

If anyone had asked how you felt the day you married Santiago, you’d smile to yourself and tell them you felt truly happy. Butterflies were swarming your stomach, fluttering around like crazy as you had your hair and makeup done.

Your bridesmaids and maid of honor had already gotten ready, putting all the focus on you, taking as many photos as they were allowed to. Santi wasn’t allowed to see you at all until first looks, breaking the ice that would hover over the two of you until you each walked down the aisle.

“I can’t believe how gorgeous you look, he’s going to cry the moment he sees you,” Your bridesmaid, Kait, was rushing around you to get all the finishing touches done.

You’d already shed a few tears, taking pictures to remember for the rest of your days alongside your husband. What would your children think when they saw the photos?

“He better, I’ve been up since six,” You laughed as she placed the “something blue” in your updo.

It had been a gift from Frankie, something his wife had worn for their own wedding. He’d mentioned how Santi had bought it to give to Frankie, and said she deserved something nice on their wedding day. It was a playful dig at his friend, and now you were adorning the same piece.

It felt like you were rushed through the first looks, Santi’s eyes misting over as he took you in fully, hands sliding over your arms as he pulled you tight against him. Too soon though, your maid of honor was rushing you off to get ready to walk down the aisle.

Frankie was walking you down, seeing as your own father wasn’t in your life and Frankie stepped right up to the plate. It was nothing short of an honor to have one of Santiago’s best friends walk you down the aisle.

You’d each cried, facing one another as the justice of the peace declared you husband, and wife. Santi pulled you close, kissing you so passionately you felt almost faint.

There was no one else in the world except for the two of you, held tight in an embrace of love and passion.

“I love you, so much,” You pressed your lips to his once more, grabbing his hand as you ran down the aisle.

Santiago kept a tight grip on your hand, following close behind as he stopped you both, picking you up bridal style.

You’d both agreed to have photos done somewhere else while everyone had cocktail hour at the venue you chose. It was the smartest choice, and thankfully everyone else seemed on board. You didn’t go too far from the venue, choosing the closest, and nicest, park to commit photos to memory.

“You look gorgeous, Mrs. Garcia,” Santi smirked, pressing a gentle kiss to your neck.

“As do you, Mr. Garcia,” You gripped the lapels of his tux, leaning your head back slightly.

“Let’s head inside, gotta keep showing off my gorgeous wife,” Santi pulled you flush to his side, waiting as the Dj announced the wedding party first.

Once your names were called you made your way inside, laughing as people wolf whistled, cheered, and clapped.

This was a day you’d dreamt about for years, planning it in your head since you were a little girl, how things would go.

You refused to let the thought of Marc ruin your day. If he’d truly loved you he wouldn’t have pushed you away, he wouldn’t have made you feel so worthless. Today was about you, and the man you were hopelessly in love with.

Of course making your rounds went by faster than you expected, you hadn’t had much in the way of family or friends to invite, and those that did come you’d already seen earlier in the day. Once your eyes landed on Jake you frowned, you weren’t sure he’d actually show up, yet here he was, watching you closely.

He stood up and made his way over to where you were, Santi in a deep conversation with Frankie about something you couldn’t quite figure out.

“Jake told us, I’m sure you weren’t expecting me,” Your eyes widened, Marc had come in Jake’s place?

“No, I definitely wasn’t expecting to see you Marc, though I’m glad you came,” You just hoped he wouldn’t cause a scene.

He pulled you into an embrace, pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your hair.

“You do look gorgeous, I can’t deny that,” Marc sighed, holding your shoulders as you pulled back.

“Thank you, it means a lot to me,” Things would work themselves out, you were sure of it.

“Just promise me I can get at least one dance?” Marc looked so hopeful, brown eyes shimmering in the dim light.

“One dance, later though, I need to go eat,” You didn’t want to pull away from him, but you knew deep down had you stayed, you’d have been upset the rest of the night.

Dinner, and the cake cutting went off without a hitch, both you and Santi feeding one another gently. He’d refused to shove any cake in your face, claiming your makeup looked too pretty to be ruined.

“I’ll ruin it later tonight, that’s a promise,” Santi’s whisper sent shivers through your entire body.

Gods you were so thankful you managed to bag that man.

Before the end of the night you searched for Marc, promising him one dance before you left for your honeymoon.

He was nowhere to be found inside, or outside of the venue.

The hooded crusader watched from atop the building, a crushing weight on his chest as he watched you leave with your new husband. He’d brought this on himself, he’d learn to live with the consequences.

[strawwritesfic]

Bruce Banner & Hulk x Avenger!Reader: Entertain Me

Summary: What Tony failed to mention was a best-case scenario.

Rating/Warnings/Tags: All (Tony & Bruce Friendship; Hulk does not object to being called “Bruce;” Bruce does not object to being called by name while actively the Hulk; friendly!Hulk)

Challenge: “100 Drabbles of Randomness” by Miseria1 on Lunaescence Archives.

Entertain Me

“Um, hey, [Name]. Could I ask you for a small favor? Itty-bitty, really. Teensy.”

Before you even looked up from your book, you knew Tony Stark was lying to your face. He didn’t ask you for favors, and if he did, as a rule, they were pretty big. But since you knew this, you couldn’t exactly say no without further investigation. You saved your place with a quick fold of the page before giving him your full attention.

“What kind of a favor?” you asked.

“A…Bruce favor.”

The tone of Tony’s voice did little to assuage your fears. Your eyes widened despite his attempt to keep his expression carefully neutral.

“What kind of Bruce favor?” you wanted to know.

“Just…” Tony glanced behind him and then back at you. “Just follow me.”

Something was seriously wrong. Your heart gave a tiny squeeze as you set your pencil down next to your book and hurried after Tony’s retreating back.

“Tony?” you asked as the pair of you moved along the wall toward his and Bruce’s laboratory. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all is wrong, exactly. We just have a slight situation.”

“And what kind of situation could you have in the lab that you need my help with?”

But Tony did not have to answer. As soon as you reached the room in question, you knew. In the middle of quite a lot wreckage and breathing heavily stood a very large, very green person. While you gaped at him, he let out a massive roar and gripped another desk until it was crushed into powder.

“Oh,” you said. Then: “Tony, what did you do?”

“Me? I didn’t do anything. I don’t know what’s going on. Well, actually, maybe it might have been that one chemical we’ve been testing, but we certainly didn’t intend for the effect to be permanent, and–”

“Get to the point!”

“Okay, okay. Jeez.” He lifted one arm and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I think I know what could fix this, but I need some time and ingredients.”

“And?”

 “And I was just hoping you could entertain Bruce until I got back.”

Your mouth fell open, and your eyes bulged. “Entertain Bruce? When he could kill me just as easily as look at me?”

“He’s not going to hurt you.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because Bruce doesn’t hurt people he loves, even when he’s like this.”

Something smashed inside the lab. You looked over and saw the desk had been tossed through a sheet of glass.

Tony ignored this development. “And Bruce loves you. Worst-case scenario, he plays King Kong and carries you to the top of the building.”

“What?” you squawked.

“Thanks for all the help, [Name]. You’re a real life saver,” Tony said as he pushed you into the room.

You whirled about, ready to rush straight back toward him, but he had already disappeared into the elevator, leaving you well and truly stuck. So focused on this and your frustration with Tony were you that it took nearly a minute for the fact the room had gone silent to sink in.

With a gulp, you turned slowly on the spot. You spotted another splintered desk next to an enormous bare green foot that could belong to no one other than Bruce–The Other Guy–The Hulk – whatever. Once you’d braced yourself, you forced your gaze upward. His green eyes stared unblinkingly down at you. Was this a good sign? At least he didn’t seem to be breathing as heavily.

 “Bruce?” You took a tentative step forward, only to freeze the minute his eyes narrowed. “Um, Tony will be right back. He asked me–He asked me to entertain you.”

The glower disappeared in an instant. Bruce’s lips peeled back into a wide grin. No sooner had the thought that you should hide somewhere occurred to you–if, in fact, there was anywhere safe to hide left–than did he come racing right for you. You might have screamed, but there was no time. Two massive hands lurched forward to draw you into the air.

“Bruce–” you began, panicked. Then you realized that the grip around you was fairly loose. If you wanted to squirm away, you could have. Startled, you looked into his face.

Bruce’s grin remained there. This unnerved you for some reason. You’d been trained to expect the Hulk to be some sort of monster. Instead, everything about him felt familiar.

“Bruce?” you said again, softer this time.

He answered by planting a sloppy kiss against your cheek. Okay, so maybe not completely familiar. The drool dripped down your chin, and as it did, you laughed. The situation was so funny. A frighteningly deep sound joined you and you sucked in a frightened breath before you realized that Bruce was laughing, too. After a moment of that, he set you gently back onto your feet.

“Well, that was easy,” you said cheerily. He grunted. With a smile, you stepped forward and touched him lightly on the arm. “Now, what else can we do to entertain you?”

Bruce was only too happy to oblige answering your question.

[shmaptainwrites]

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄 [𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐌𝐔𝐓 𝐙𝐄𝐌𝐎]

PAIRINGS — Helmut Zemo x fem!reader

SUMMARY — Around seven years after the death of your son it feels as though nothing's changed, the pain hasn't gone away, but after some coercing from your therapist and a bit of pure luck you test the waters to see if your ex-husband can help.

WARNINGS — swearing, angst, mentions/general descriptions of death, minor alcohol consumption, nightmares, trauma, fatws ep 4 spoilers (ish)

NOTE — See I told you, I went there, what's wrong with me? I don't know but I'm hella proud of how it turned out so no regrets also thank you to @/therenlover for encouraging me to post this!

"No, my son! My son is in there!" you screamed trying to claw past the guards, the military, keeping you from bringing your son back to safety.

"Ma'am-,"

"Carl!" you yelled as loud as your lungs would allow you, making your voice raw "Carl meine liebe! Carl can you hear me!"

Roughly, you pulled yourself away from the guards, taking a step back to address them.

"You're doing nothing for him! He's just a child! Let me get my son!"

"Ma'am it's too dangerous-,"

"Don't give me that-,"

You didn't have time to finish your sentence as the ground started to rumble, the building tumbling down into a pile of rubble and ashes in an already destroyed city.

You woke up, quickly pushing yourself upright, a cold sweat dripping down your forehead.

You knew what came next. It was always the same. The scream that ripped through your throat. Falling into nothingness while instead of sitting next to your son in the hospital while he recovered from a few minor injuries, you were sitting next to his casket. His hazel-coloured hair, parted slightly to the side, just like his dad's. The way he liked it.

And each time you woke up it felt more real than the last. Like you were back there. Watching the building fall while you stood helplessly.

The tears that dripped down your cheeks were old news, you'd find time to wipe them away at some point but you needed a minute. A minute to breathe.

Testing the waters you sling your feet over the bed, placing your toes on the cool wood flooring, bringing you slowly back to reality.

Standing was another challenge, but you took it step-by-step, wobbling to the washroom where you flicked on the lights, bending over the sink.

You didn't even notice how tightly you were holding onto the sides until the sink shook slightly with you while you sobbed.

You were so tired these days, it felt like it had been years since you had gotten proper sleep, you even half expected a pair of calming hands, holding your waist, pulling back your hair, tethering you to the present. But like always, there was nothing, but you supposed that was your own fault.

You managed enough strength to turn on the tap, splashing your face with cold water.

Drying your face you looked away from the mirror, unable to face yourself, instead trying to take some calming breaths the ones you used to think were bullshit but after your therapist had forced you to try it, well it was hard to go back.

Two through the nose. One out through the mouth.

Again and again, until your heart rate came to a rest.

Your eyes flicked to the bottle of sleeping pills next to your bed.

You didn't want to take them, medication, taking something for it made it seem so real, but your trouble with sleep didn't start with the death of your son.

Walking over slowly to your bed, you picked up the bottle, glancing at it for a long minute before two words came through your mind,

Fuck it

You popped open the lid, shaking out two pills into your hand, turning to look out of the window.

"You were right," you shook your head, speaking to your ex wherever he was. "Hope you're happy," you whispered, popping the pills in your mouth and climbing back into the bed that was far too large for one person, closing your eyes and letting the nightmares take you once more.

—

"Have you been back yet?"

"Hmm?" you asked, a tired glaze coming over your eyes. "Sorry, can you repeat that I-um I'm just tired,"

"Rough couple nights? You know if you took the-,"

"The pills, I know. I took them," you told her, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Honestly I think that's causing the drowsiness,"

"It's possible, but I'm glad you're giving them a try,"

"Yeah, I think that's going to be the first and only time," you admitted.

"Why is that?" your therapist asked. "Just from a point of curiosity, I won't force you to do anything,"

"They came back," you twitched, twiddling your thumbs and looking down at your feet. "As soon as I went back to sleep the nightmares came back and I couldn't get out,"

"I see," she nodded, writing something down in her notes.

"W-What was that question you asked? Before?"

"I was just wondering if you've been back to Sokovia, since after Ultron?"

You tensed, "Sokovia doesn't exist anymore," you said, trying to make sure your voice didn't hold a waver.

"I mean the memorial," she clarified. "The country may not exist but the land is the same,"

"What good would it do?" you asked. "Just to see his name on some plaque. It won't bring him back,"

"And what about your ex, do you have any contact with him?"

"No," you shook your head. "After the divorce I-," you chewed your lip. "I just tossed it all aside,"

"Maybe you should consider it," she suggested. "It might offer some sort of closure, he's probably going through the same things you are right now,"

"I'll think about it,"

"Try not to think too hard," she smiled kindly at you. "Same time next week as usual?"

"Yeah," you nodded. "Thanks again,"

"Just doing my job (Y/N), happy to help,"

You grabbed your purse and keys, standing up and making your way out of the small office building in downtown Riga.

The city was quiet now, it didn't use to be, but a part of you was grateful for the silence. It made it seem like maybe the rest of the world was on the same foot as you.

Driving back the same familiar route was like a small therapy in itself. It was one thing that didn't change. Stayed the same. Stability was something you needed now, more than anything.

You had barely even thrown your keys on the counter when you heard the doorbell ring and you wanted to let out a groan of displeasure, but you stopped yourself, walking down the stairs and peeking through the door hole, your heart almost stopping when you saw who was on the other side.

You debated just ignoring it, going back upstairs, but when you heard,

"(Y/N) I know you're in there,"

You didn't have much of a choice.

Clicking the lock, you gently swung the door open, looking straight into chestnut eyes you would have maybe been happy to see last night.

"(Y/N)," he smiled. "It really is lovely to see you, it's been a while no?"

"What do you want, Helmut," you sighed.

"My home," he said, motioning to the interior with his eyes.

"Yeah, this used to be your home, emphasis on used,"

Finally, you took a minute to see who was with him, curious as to the fact that you recognized them both.

"You've got yourself some... interesting company Helmut,"

"I'm sorry," one of them responded, clearly more of an understanding temperament to him. If you remembered his name correctly it was Sam Wilson. "We assumed this was his home. I know at least I wasn't aware there was someone else staying here, we can be out of your hair-,"

Helmut held up his hand and cut Sam off from speaking, he looked a little offended but obeyed.

"It's just a few days, we have some work to do in the city then you'll never have to see us again,"

Under any other circumstances, it would have been an immediate no. But you knew the men that were with him were good people, they didn't deserve to be turned away like that and damn if Carina hadn't said something earlier today. It would be easier to get it over with now that he was here.

"Fine," you muttered. "No messes, don't touch my stuff and I swear to God Helmut do not make me regret this,"

"Of course volyena-,"

"Don't," you pointed a warning finger at him. "Don't call me that,"

"Apologies, it slipped," he nodded and you took a short breath, moving away from the doorway and allowing the three men to come in, your ex-husband showing them upstairs.

"Please, make yourselves at home," you looked at his two companions, "Helmut knows where everything is so-," you shrugged and they nodded allowing you to make your exit into the living room, picking up a magazine that had probably been sitting there for decades, just flipping through the pages.

"You known Zemo long?" you could hear Sam's voice asking you while he took a seat on the opposite couch.

"You could say that," you nodded, turning your head and watching the man pour tea into a few separate cups.

"He always been such a pain in the ass?" the other asked and Sam nudged his shoulder.

"James right?" you asked him back and he nodded. "Sometimes," you responded to his questions. "He had his moments,"

"Thank you," the Baron gave you a hint of a smile while handing you a warm glass of tea.

Glancing down you saw the label on the teabag and frowned.

"H-How did you know? It's been seven years since we've seen each other and you still remember the tea I like?"

"You don't like change (Y/N)," he said with a small shrug, sitting down next to you. "Plus you seem to forget I used to bring it to you every morning,"

"Are you two like married or something?" Sam asked, a confused frown dawning his features.

"Were," you emphasized. "We were married,"

"So he definitely was a pain in the ass then," Bucky said, finally taking a seat and you pursed your lips.

"It's a bit more complicated than that," you whispered. "M-Maybe we could change the topic?"

The men nodded and easily switched into another conversation, giving you a chance to just sit and listen to their interactions.

They had made a small plan for themselves and decided to stay low for a night before trying to get any information for whatever it was that they were doing, honestly you couldn't care less.

The guest rooms were already set up, not having been touched in ages, allowing both Sam and Bucky to go to bed early and get a good night's rest.

Helmut on the other hand took a seat by the window, admiring the city from afar, possibly reflecting, but you really didn't know what went on in his mind.

So you did something you could handle, going into your room and grabbing a box. A box of all his things, the ones he was supposed to pick up, the things he never came back to get. Maybe this was the closure Carina was talking about.

"Helmut?" you said softly and he turned around immediately at the sound of your voice, seeing the box you carried. "I-um...I'm not sure if you remember but you were supposed to come to pick up some things from me... after the divorce."

"You kept them all this time?"

"They're your things I didn't really have much other use for them...I suppose I could've thrown them out,"

He stood up from his seat, carefully walking towards you and glancing down at the box and its contents.

A small package caught his eyes and he picked it up, untying the string holding it together to reveal a pile of photos.

"These are all our wedding pictures," he frowned. "You don't even want to keep some of them?"

"Like I said," you shrugged. "I don't have any use for them,"

That was a lie, you did keep one photo. Even if it was only one and you took it out from your desk from time to time just to remember, remember what life was like before.

He sat down on the coffee table next to the box, still looking down at the photos in his hand.

"You look unwell volyena," his eyes flickered up to you for a fleeting moment and your breath was caught in your throat. As if you were guilty of something. "If-,"

"I want to talk about it, right?" you asked and he nodded.

"There's nothing to say Helmut, it's been seven years," you whispered. "Seven years since I've held my son in my arms and that number will only get bigger,"

"I-,"

"No," you interrupted him again, "Let me finish."

He pursed his lips and nodded,

"Everyone moved on Helmut, even you but every single night I'm there," you told him. "I'm right outside that building, watching him die all over again," the pain that was laced through your voice stung him like a bite from a venomous snake. "So yes, I'm unwell and I don't think it's something that will change, there will always be a part of me that is unwell,"

After a short silence where you didn't think he was going to respond, you turned around to leave.

"I didn't move on," he whispered softly, stopping you in your tracks and turning around.

"What?" you asked, not hearing him properly the first time.

"You said I've moved on. I haven't," he said simply. "Whatever you're going through, it's not alone. The pain is something I carry too,"

"That still doesn't explain everything that happened. Everything that happened afterwards... you vanished,"

"You had every right to leave me," he assured you, taking your hand in his. "I wasn't there when you needed me most. My biggest regret,"

You took your hand away from him and shook your head.

"Helmut, I can't do this,"

"Then don't, but at least let me be here for you while we're staying with you," he begged. "Please,"

You didn't respond, only turning your back to him and walking towards your room, the one you used to share.

"I didn't give you all the wedding pictures," you said before walking into your room, turning back on your heels. "The one my cousin took of the two of us when we snuck off into the gardens to have a moment alone. I kept that one,"

He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it, only giving you a thin-lipped smile and nodding, allowing you to retreat into the room, but it was already clear that neither one of you would get a good sleep.

—

When you walked out the next morning you looked at the kitchen curiously, noticing all three men were awake.

"Did I sleep in?" you asked, "Or are you all just early risers?"

"Military," Bucky said simply and you nodded, remembering the early days when Helmut had just come back from fighting in the Sokovian civil war, he'd be up at five-thirty in the morning on the dot. Every single day.

"Can I make you guys something to eat or have you already taken care of that?"

"Something to eat would be wonderful," Sam nodded. "And thank you again for letting us stay here,"

"It's not a problem," you gave him a small smile. "It's actually nice to have people back in the house. When my son was young we used to have dinner with his friend's families and the place would be so bright,"

"I remember that," Helmut smiled wistfully. "He made friends so easily we probably did it twice a week each time with a new person,"

You nodded, "He'd come home and say mama we have to invite them all so they don't get left out!"

"He sounds very considerate, my nephews, they're oblivious to that kind of stuff, but they're learning," Sam smiled. "Does he go to school abroad? Or is he just out of the-,"

Sam saw the look Bucky gave him and he stopped his sentence.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry for bringing it up," he apologized quickly.

"It's alright," you assured him. "It's not often I get to speak of him in a happy context, thank you for that," you came up to him and gave him a gentle hug which he gracefully accepted. "Now why don't we do pancakes, I know Helmut liked those, hasn't changed I'm assuming,"

He nodded to confirm and both Sam and Bucky seemed to be alright with that choice so you didn't waste another minute to get started.

"Can I help?" Helmut asked.

"Actually, I was thinking maybe you could do the cooking, you know I always miss the mark,"

"Burnt or undercooked," he chuckled softly to himself. "I'd be happy to,"

And for a second, it was like things never changed. Like it was still Sunday morning and you were both up early together, making pancakes and waiting for Carl to wake up.

After you finished the batter and handed it off to Helmut you focused your attention on cutting up some fruits to put on the side that could be eaten with the breakfast food along with authentic maple syrup and not whatever corn syrup crap that wasn't imported.

Halfway through cutting you realized you had some strawberries in the fridge that needed to be used so you turned to make your way there, only to bump straight into Helmut who was heading in the opposite direction.

"Oh! Sorry," you said, slightly startled.

"It's alright," he said while you both did a little shuffle, attempting to sneak past each other but keep getting in each other's way.

Finally, Helmut took initiative, grabbing you gently by the waist and rotating you both so you were in the places you needed to be.

You felt yourself coughing and averting your gaze trying to draw attention away from your flustered self, but probably just doing the exact opposite.

After all that you could feel his burning gaze on your back and you wondered if maybe he still looked at you the same way he used to. Back when you were stupid twenty-year-olds, getting in trouble, sneaking around, falling in love.

Did he look at you and see that same person from all those years ago?

"Food's ready," Helmut's voice broke you out of your thoughts and you helped bring the things to the table.

After breakfast they were quick to leave the house, scouting around for some information, not that you really knew what was going on in the first place.

It gave you time to collect yourself a bit, cleaning up the dishes with some soft music playing in the background, your mind constantly travelling back to your ex-husband.

It was almost...nice having him back in the house. Even though this wasn't the house you had shared together long term, that having been in Novi Grad and destroyed along with everything else there, it was still comforting. Like the change of his absence was part of the pain you were feeling and now that pain was gone because the change had been reversed.

Hopping into the shower your thoughts stopped, focusing instead on the little things like the feeling of the water hitting your back or the slightly cool breeze coming through the window.

When you climbed out you grabbed your bathrobe that was hanging around the door, tying it around your waist and unconsciously making your way towards your desk.

Before you knew it your hand reached to one of the drawer handles, pulling it ajar and grabbing its only content.

A small framed picture sending you almost twenty years back in a half faded memory.

You clutched onto your newlywed husband's hand tightly as he pulled you through the small gravel pathway away from the large fancy banquet hall where the reception was being held.

"Helmut slow down I'm going to trip over this damn dress!" you giggled, but he only tugged you into him with a bit more force than intended, sending you slamming into his chest and falling down onto one of the benches with a shriek.

"Shh," he chuckled, holding his hand over your mouth. "Do you want them to figure out we snuck out of our own wedding or what?"

"Oh hush," you lightly slapped his chest. "But seriously do you think they'll notice we're gone?"

"No, I think we have some time," he nodded.

"It seems so ironic, it's our day and yet I've barely seen you,"

"Yes, well, we're going to have to correct that," he gave you a wide smile, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours in a brief kiss.

"You're still wearing your glasses meine liebe,"

"Meine liebe, where did you pick that up?" he asked with a chuckle. "They will riot if they found out my so-called Sokovian wife was using these foreign terms of endearment," he joked.

"I heard someone say it in Germany," you admitted. "I don't know, I just... I thought it suited you," you straightened his tie, looking back up at him through the brown rims of his glasses.

"You don't like them?" he asked.

"No, I love them," you assured him. The way his hands shakily took them out of his pocket during the ceremony so he could read his vows, you found it adorable how nervous he was, but you knew it wasn't marrying you that scared him. He always thought you deserved better, but you wanted him, through and through. "Here let me try them on, we'll see if I can pull them off,"

You carefully pulled the glasses off his face and slid them onto yours, blinking a few times to adjust to the prescription.

"They're not that bad," you chuckled. "How do I look?"

"Adorable," he hummed, a hand of his coming to cup your face and bring you in for a sweet kiss."Okay I have to take these off before I go blind," you exaggerated and gave them back to your husband.

Husband. It sounded so surreal. He was your husband.

He put his glasses back on at your request, leaning his forehead against yours, just breathing it all in.

The smell of the flowers, his faint cologne, the vibrant colours of the nature surrounding you. It was heavenly.

"I love you volyena," he murmured, his hands intertwined with your own.

"I love you too, but what do you prefer, Baron or Colonel?" you teased.

"Neither, for you, Helmut. To the world we can be Baron and Baroness Zemo but for us. Helmut and (Y/N),"

"Or volyena and meine liebe,"

"Yes, or that," he smiled. "One more kiss for the road?"

"If you insist," you grinned, turning your head slightly to better press your lips to his, savouring every moment, down to the faint taste of coffee on his lips.

You reached a hand up to your lips, like the feeling of him pressed against you was still there, still vivid as it was the day it happened.

"(Y/N)?" there was a small knock on the door and his head peeked through the small opening. "You're here...good,"

"Find what you were looking for?" you asked, placing the frame back inside the drawer and closing it.

"Somewhat, we'll have to wait another day to see if things work out," he explained. "May I come in?"

You nodded and he opened the door wider, slipping into the room and taking a seat across from you on the bed.

"Do you need something? Want something?" you asked him while he stared back at you.

"I..." he paused as if debating whether it was a good idea to bring it up. "I haven't seen his face in almost seven years,"

"A picture," you murmured and he nodded.

"If you have one,"

You didn't hesitate to get up and quickly walk over to your bedside table and open the small cupboard embedded in it, taking out an album and bringing it to Helmut, sitting down next to him while he took a moment before opening it.

It started with his baby pictures, it was an album you had started back when he was born and each year on his birthday you'd add the previous year's photos to it.

There were many of him asleep in Helmut's arms, half of which he had fallen asleep right along with him.

"You were always so tired," you mumbled. "Even later on, do you remember what he'd do?"

He nodded, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

"He would come onto my lap and run his hand over my eyes to close them and say papa sleep we can play later you're tired,"

"And then he'd fall asleep on top of you,"

He flipped through a few more pages of the book, finding a photo of the scene you were describing from when Carl was five.

Right next to it was a photo of the three of you together, taken by a hired photographer in one of your father-in-law's large estates. Carl was finding it hard to sit still for a serious family portrait so you humoured him into doing some goofy faces and something a little more casual just sitting on the couch like a regular family.

"I always liked those photos more than the one we had to print for the painter," he said softly, "He looks happier,"

"So do we," you noted, glancing at your bright smiling face staring back at you.

You felt like a shell of the person you were all those years back.

Helmut turned to face you, gently holding your upper arm while he leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering maybe a moment longer than they should have, but you didn't have it in you to fight him. The warmth that came with his kiss was something you hadn't felt in years and you weren't prepared to push that away.

"Thank you," he whispered, pulling back away from you.

You pursed your lips and nodded, reaching over and pulling out the photo from the album.

"Take it with you," you said, handing it to him. "You should have it,"

He thanked you again and stood up from where he sat on your bed. Going back the way he came and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

—

It was probably half-past three when you woke up that morning, a scream caught by in your throat, sending you up and rushing out of your room.

Quickly you ran over to the deck, trying to open the door as quietly as possible and finally exhaled when the cool air hit your skin.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Jesus Helmut!" you exclaimed quietly, one hand over your heart to indicate your surprise while the other furiously wiped away tears.

"Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he stood up from his seat and came to stand next to you.

You didn't have the energy to respond, your arms leaning against the railing while you covered your face with your hands, sobbing quietly.

It seemed as though Helmut froze. All this time he knew you were hurting, but for it to get to the point where you didn't even bother to hide your tears, that was something that needed to be rectified.

And finally, after all those nights of dreaming and wishing it, you felt those hands against your waist, thumbs tracing soft and carefully thought out circles, like he was reminding you he was there, feeling everything with you.

Your mind wanted so badly to hate him, resent him for leaving you behind, for giving up on you without a fight, but deep inside you knew you'd always love him, no matter what.

His hands after a while, carefully shifted, turning you around to face him so he could bring you into his chest. There was no doubt his nightshirt would be soaked in minutes.

"Come on let's get you back to bed," he whispered.

You shook your head adamantly.

"No, I-I can't they're just going to come back," you hiccoughed.

"I'll stay with you," he said, and it wasn't really a suggestion, more like an insistence.

"Hel-,"

"Volyena let me stay with you please, let me help you,"

You chewed on your lip and finally nodded your head, letting him lead you back inside to the large master bedroom.

He pulled back the sheets on the untouched side of the bed and slipped under them while you went to the other side. He motioned for you to come closer, and you did so, resting your head on his chest, letting his arm wrap around you and find itself in your hair, scratching your scalp gently.

"Helmut?" you whispered faintly, voice broken.

"Yes, my love,"

"Thank you,"

—

If it weren't for the faint clicking and rustling you heard you would have been fast asleep, not a worry in the world, but there was a civil war going on, sometimes you seemed to forget that and all of a sudden you were on full alert.

You quickly ran into your closet, grabbing one crutch from when you had broken your leg as a young teenager, the only suitable weapon you had in the house besides your father's rifle, but you doubted it was anything. You'd be fine.

"Who's there?" you called quietly. No answer.

You reached the curtains and held one of them bunched up in your hand, taking a deep breath and pulling them back in a swift motion, screaming when you saw the man clad in military uniform in the dark on your balcony. The door finally clicked open and you felt a hand on your mouth and you finally realized who it was.

"Shh! Someone's going to hear you!"

"Helmut what the hell are you doing here?!" you exclaimed in a stressed whisper, pulling his hand off your mouth and tossing the crutch in your hand over to the couch. "There's a curfew, you're not supposed to be here,"

"I-I needed to see you (Y/N)," he said in almost a begging tone, his hands gently cupping your face. "I had to see you before I left,"

"And you leave tomorrow Helmut, how did you think you were going to get across boundary lines in the city and make it back before morning, you could get killed!"

"I might as well be dead if I couldn't see you,"

"Helmut what's going on," you murmured, pushing the hair away from your young boyfriend's forehead.

"(Y/N) I'm..." his answer became stuck in his throat. "I'm scared," he confessed. "I-I didn't want to die without seeing you one last time,"

"Helmut you're not going to die," you said firmly. "Okay, you can't die. I won't let you,"

The corner of his lip twitched slightly upward at that.

"The war will end and you'll come back to my door the same way you did tonight and you're going to ask me to marry you, you understand? I'm expecting nothing less,"

"Yes ma'am,"

"Now give me a kiss," you whispered softly, your fingers brushing against his cheek. "Please,"

"Yes ma'am," he repeated and lowered his head down, capturing your lips with his own in a soft and slow movement, becoming more and more desperate as time went on, his hands gripping onto you so tight for fear of losing you if he let go. But when your lips parted he was still there, you were still there.

"Come and lay with me a bit," you breathed. "You'll have to leave before sunrise,"

He nodded in understanding and followed you to the small bed with soft and plush blankets, you had it better than most in the city and for that you were grateful.

It wasn't the first time Helmut had stayed with you. Sneaking in at the late hours of the evening just to lay down next to you. But soon he wouldn't have to do that, because just like you said he was going to come back, and you were going to get married. Start your life together. And for a minute he wasn't so scared because he believed you. He believed that everything would be alright, just like you promised.

—

The next day, before you even got up all three of the men had left the house, off to pursue the lead they had been given the previous day. You sighed heavily, missing the warmth of the body next to you, but you filled the small hole with a warm shower and a breakfast of tea with jam and bread.

You weren't sure what you were expecting to happen, but it clearly wasn't what came next.

Helmut came stumbling in, Sam and Bucky behind him, looking unimpressed. He was holding his face like he had been stuck there and you frowned.

"What happened?"

"We encountered a bit of a roadblock," Sam said, attempting to put it lightly. "It wasn't his fault though he just got stuck in the middle of it,"

"Vibranium shield to the face," he mumbled and you nodded.

"Do you need anything?" you asked your ex specifically first, making sure he was tended to.

"Some whiskey and a cold washcloth would do wonders," he groaned, sitting carefully on the couch and laying back.

You poured him a glass of whiskey in the alcohol cupboard and then turned to Sam and Bucky.

"What about you both? No secret injuries?"

"You can trust her," Helmut interjected, laying the towel across his eyes. "She served as a trauma surgeon during the Sokovian civil war,"

"We're fine," Bucky assured you, just as the doorbell rang. "And now I have a feeling that might change,"

"Let me get it," you said before any of them could fight you.

You opened the door to a man in a red and blue uniform, pushing past you along with his partner.

"Where are they?!" he asked angrily walking up the stairs.

"Um excuse me?" you spat, rushing up after them and walking into the living room before they could.

"(Y/N) I wouldn't-,"

You cut Sam off, too blinded by your anger to care.

"I'm sorry, but it's not polite to barge into someone's home unannounced," you looked him dead in the eyes, not wavering on your position.

The man tried to come forward, but you took a step in his direction, stopping him from doing so,

"Don't you fucking dare," you seethed.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked you back, an arrogant cockiness in his voice, demanding, not the good kind.

"Yes, I do know who you are, but who you are doesn't mean two shits, everyone knows you're just desperately trying to fill shoes that were meant for him," you pointed to Sam. "Pathetic,"

Bucky gave Helmut and Sam a look and said, "Well I think it's safe to say I respect your wife and she's not the only person who thinks those things," he looked over to Sam who rolled his eyes, having already expressed his very valid reasons for not taking the shield.

You didn't even feel the need to correct him when he referred to you as Helmut's wife, that didn't matter right now.

"So, I suggest you get your sorry privileged American ass out of my house before I call the cops," you said, looking directly at John.

"I could say the same, your husband is a wanted fugitive," he took a step closer, now looking directly down at you and Helmut stood up, despite his injury, prepared to come to your aid, but you stopped him.

"I said," you inched forward only slightly before placing your hands on his chest and pushing him backwards. "Get the fuck out of my house!"

"John maybe we should-,"

"I warned you, tell Interpol I said hi,"

The two finally left the house and you didn't waste a second, turning around to address Helmut.

"Don't say a fucking word," you pointed at him. "Not a fucking word,"

He raised his hands in defence and you scoffed.

"What the hell are you even doing?! Did you really think oh let me go put myself and my ex-wife in harm's way just so I can fulfil some stupid meaningless goal because I'm a selfish self-centred pig? Because that's what it seems like!"

"(Y/N)-,"

"Helmut, a fugitive!"

"I'm sorry, but what did you think I was?" he asked.

"I don't know?! I guess I just hoped maybe they had let you out, but I should know never to get my hopes up with you,"

"Okay (Y/N) what is this really about," he asked, calmly, placing his glass on the table, standing across from you.

"What is this-" you pinched the bridge of your nose. "Sam, James can you give us a minute please," you whispered.

The two men nodded and left the room, leaving just the two of you.

"Do you want to know what this is really about Helmut? Maybe it's about the fact that after our son died you decided the right thing to do was go and become a terrorist instead of helping your wife pick up the pieces of her broken life!" you screamed at him, letting it all out, no filter. "Maybe it's the fact that you didn't fight for me when I said I wanted a divorce! The fact you couldn't see that I clearly still loved you! Maybe it's the fact that you killed innocent people in your vendetta! Maybe it's the fact that it's your fucking fault my son is dead in the first place!"

Saying it out loud tore your heart out of your chest and you couldn't stop yourself from clutching onto your shirt and breaking down into loud sobs, echoing through the house.

Helmut didn't say anything, only coming up to you and wrapping his arms around your shaking frame. You tried to push him away, hitting his chest lightly, but he stayed firm until you couldn't fight back anymore, your knees buckling as you let him take the majority of your weight.

His nose was buried in your hair, tears spilling out of his eyes and onto your head, his shaky warm breath causing you to grab onto his shirt, baling the fabric in your fists.

"It's okay voylena," he said in a quiet voice, laced thick with heavy emotion breaking more with every word. "It's okay," he repeated. "I blame myself too,"

He blamed himself for everything. What happened to Carl, for the divorce, for your well-being. If only he had known what would happen, then he wouldn't have told you to take Carl to the city, to go to that building, to be among people who were supposed to keep you safe. Maybe if he had known he could have avoided all this pain and heartache. Maybe, just maybe you could still be a family.

But the time had passed, there was no bringing his son back, there was no taking away your pain. So he did the only thing he could do. He didn't stop loving you.

[frankthesnek]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @sga-owns-my-soul thank you friend!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

99 but soon to be 100 🎉

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

475,530

3) What fandoms do you write for?

McShep (Stargate Atlantis), Style (South Park), Nickroe (Grimm), Stony (Marvle/Avengers)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) Wrong One, Right One.

4) How the Story Goes.

3) Stop and Think.

2) Not a Test Run.

1) Horny Toads.... and HOLY FUCK what did I do right in this fic?!? It is the most viewed/most kudoed thing I have posted by a freaking landslide 🤯

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to. If they sit too long I feel weird replying to old ones, but I try. I should do better.

6) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A Fractured Version all the parts of it.

7) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's hard I do mostly happy endings.... Probably How the Story Goes, or the Mark's of Joining series maybe?

8) Do you get hate on fics?

I have been very lucky to have great support from people, so no! Thanks guys 🥰

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes. A lot of it. What kind? Honustly, I'm all over the place. Read fic tags. But probably do soft/sweet smut the most.

10) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No I do not like them.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of, I hate that this is even a thing!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge but please feel free to just let me know if you do!

13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Technically yes but it was in high-school and it didn’t get posted.

14) What's your all time favorite ship?

Oh gosh that is hard.... I honustly do not know the answer to that. Cop-out answer but I really have no idea.

15) What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Riding Free With You. Its been abandoned for years, and as much as I wish it would get done I just don't see it ever happening.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Fuck if I know. Smut? Emotions maybe? I like writing dialogue.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammer, spelling, typos. My dyslexia makes me a shit writer on some fundamental levels, and I accept that and do my best to watch for it and correct it. Also, action scenes, I don't think I'm good at them.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Fine if it's done right. And I really don't know what the right way is. All I know is I hate having to scroll to the bottom to read the A/N to find out what was said by someone in another part of the fic.

19) First fandom you wrote for?

YuGiOh GX. Moving on now...

20) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Probably Fireflies. I am very attached to that one and I don't have a good reason why. It just makes me very happy.

Oh lord that felt like it took forever to put together 😮‍💨 it was fun though, so thanks much! No tags because I'm pretty sure this has made the rounds already. But if you haven't done it and want to consider yourself tagged!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

‘Round Here

Drabble, one shot? Who knows!

"Reader is chased down after crossing the wrong biker.” + Bucky! as requested by anonymous

"Reader walks into the wrong bar." + Bucky as requested by 👀 @navybrat817​

Warning: noncon sex, fingering, unedited.

“Are you serious?” You asked Maddie as you looked around the smoky bar.

The cloud of cigarette smoke was your first hint that this was a dive. Actually, your second as Maddie always managed to find the scummiest places. It truly was a gift. Not an enviable, but nonetheless, a skill.

You sat at a table for two and tried to ignore the leers from the table next to you. You regretted wearing a skirt already. A particularly greasy looking man with a beard to his belly button grumbled something lewd into his beer. You were thankful you hadn’t understood his words, though his tone made his intent clear.

“What do you want?” The terse waitress chewed gum as she approached you with hand on hip. Her leather vest covered a fringed crop top and her skirt was barely longer than that.

“You got tequila?” Maddie asked.

“It’s a bar,” The waitress rolled her eyes and popped her gum.

“No tequila,” You argued with Maddie.

“We’ll have two shots of tequila alongside two rye and gins,” She ignored you and tossed back her curly hair.

“Fine,” The waitress shrugged. “We ain’t got any limes left.”

“Amazing,” Maddie said dryly and smiled at the waitress. You were left with haughty glare and huff.

“I don’t think this is the place to harass the staff, Mads,” You looked around nervously.

“Oh, bleh. You know, my dad used to hang out in places like this.” She trilled. “It was fun. My uncle was even part of the club.” She lowered her voice and leaned over the table. “They don’t like being called a gang.”

“Well, Maddie, I think as a kid you might not have seen the whole picture,” You uttered. “You told me we were going dancing.”

“We dance here,” She paused and listened to the dingy classic rock and bobbed her head. “Yeah, sing it Axel.”

“This is Van Halen, you weirdo,” You hissed.

The waitress returned and set down your drink, paying no heed to the way the spilled over the rim with her force. Maddie offered her a card and was greeted with another sigh. The waitress marched away and returned shortly with the receipt and the card. She flicked it onto the table and took off to the next.

“Alright, if none of these goons kill us, she definitely will,” You shook your head.

Maddie pushed a shot toward you and took hers with a devious smile.

“Have a little fun for once in your life,” She chimed. “Jesus.”

“Fun? Maddie your fun isn’t fun. It’s scary.”

“On three,” She raised her shot. “One, two, three.”

You knocked it back and coughed as you slammed it back down. You hated tequila, not least because of the taste. The last time you had a taste, you remember the inhumanly lean which had you using a chair to stand.

“Mmm,” She looked around for the waitress.

“No more,” You slid one of the rye drinks in front of her. “You got another drink to nurse. I mean it, take it easy. I don’t wanna carry you out of here.”

“Boo,” She took her glass and drank half in a gulp. “Look at all these strong men, they’ll help.”

“You don’t want their help,” You sputtered. “Mads, I mean it. After this drink, we’re finding somewhere else.”

You brought your glass to your lips, irritated, and peered around the bar with a scowl. As much as you worried for your safety, and especially Maddie’s given her lack of a filter, you were tempted to give her a good smack yourself. 

Why did you even trust her anymore? You recalled very clearly her squatting in an alley only a month ago, pissing on the pavement as you tried to figure out where exactly you were. Fun.

You stopped as your gaze met another’s. You blinked and averted your eyes as you lowered your glass. You glanced over your shoulder, foolishly. There was only a wall there. You look at Maddie and smiled nervously.

“Oh man,” She shifted in her seat. “Wish I hadn’t downed that vodka before.”

“What?” You huffed. “Maddie, how much have you had tonight?”

“I dunno but, whew,” She slapped the table. Her glass was empty. “It’s time to break the seal.”

“Wait, I’m almost done, we can go--”

“Nope, too late,” She stood. “I mean it, if I don’t find the bathroom, I’m gonna piss on this chair.”

“Maddie, you always were so eloquent,” You snipped. “Just hurry up.”

She winked and walked away clumsily. She flagged down the grouchy waitress and was pointed towards a doorway on the other side of the bar. You glanced around and again, found the same set of eyes watching you; deep, blue sapphires. You looked down and grabbed your purse. You slipped out your phone and unlocked it.

You pretended to be interested in it as you hugged your purse to you. You just wanted to go. Now.

“Don’t think I’ve seen you here before,” The voice had you rigid and your head snapped up as your fingers tightened around your phone. “You need a refill.”

“No, I’m not done,” You grimaced and tapped your glass. “Thank you though. My friend is just--”

“Ah, don’t worry,” He turned to the table next to you and snapped at a man in a skullcap. The man stood and spun his chair to offer to the man. The stranger sat and shuffled the chair closer. “Name’s Bucky.”

You stared at him. You glanced over at the doorway Maddie had disappeared through and swallowed. You gave your name without looking at him and instead checked the time on your phone. You chewed your lip.

“Actually, you know, me and my friend have a reservation.” You said as you rose. “I’ll just go check on her.”

“She didn’t seem in such a hurry.” He stood and blocked you. “What’s the matter? You don’t like me?”

“It’s not-- Look, I’m just… gonna…” You skirted around the table and flitted past him. “I gotta make sure she’s okay.”

You felt him watching you as you wove around the tables, barely missing one with your hip. You ducked through the doorway and found your way to the ladies’. Inside, Maddie was sloppily lathering her hands up in soap.

“Hurry up,” You sneered. “Now. We’re going.”

“Oh, don’t be such a pooper,” She moped.

You reached and shoved her hands under the faucet. You tore a length of paper towel free from the dispenser and forced it into her grasp. You dried your hands and hers, like she was a child, and you pulled her out of the restroom.

You peeked into the barroom then further down the hall. You dragged Maddie down to the fire exit and angled her through into the back alley.

“What’s going on?” She giggled. “You’re acting weird.”

“Mads, look, we couldn’t stay there,” You hurried out to the sidewalk and turned down the street. “We can go wherever you want, drink as much as you want but we’re not staying there. Okay?”

“Fine, fine,” She wrenched her arm away from you. “Jesus, you sound like my mom.”

“Let’s go to Nova.” You coaxed. “Remember when we danced on the table!”

“Oooh,” Her eyes focused. “Okay, but this time you can’t ditch me.”

“I didn’t, you pushed me off,” You elbowed her. “Come on, I think it’s ladies’ night.”

☠

When you got to the club, it was already packed. Even so, Maddie pushed her way to the bar and forced another drink on you. You found a spot on the dance floor but it wasn’t long before she recognized someone else and you were joined by several other girls and even a few boys.

You danced and tried to forget the rocky start to the evening but still found yourself on edge. You set aside your empty cup and tried to get more into the old 90s tune. You spun, almost drunk enough to really get wild, and stopped dead, your arms falling to your sides. 

You squinted through the flashing lights. It was him. That man from the bar. Oh, fuck, he was heading right toward you. He seemed to march across the floor between the bodies, barely flinching as his shoulders were knocked by inebriated dancers. Only a few feet away as he smirked at you.

You turned and dove into the circle of Maddie’s friends. She was too tipsy to notice as she tried to twerk. You pushed past them and tripped as you barrelled into another dancer. You didn’t even apologize as you kept on and headed for the door. You kept low, unable to see if the man was following you through all the bodies.

You got to the back stairwell, marked staff only, that led from one floor to the next. The club had three levels; one for retro, one for modern hits, and the lower floor for rock. You slipped through the door and caught your breath on the other side. You didn’t stop for long as you stumbled down the steps on your chunky heels.

As you tripped and hit the wall, you heard the door open again. You pushed yourself straight and wobbled around the corner to the next flight. You peeked up as the man came into sight. So certain he barely rushed as he descended after you.

You scrambled down the next flight as he got closer. You felt your feet tangle and prepared to fly into the wall face first. He caught the back of your shirt before you could and his arm wrapped around your waist. He stepped down onto even ground behind you.

“Ah, we don’t want that pretty face gettin’ messed up,” He purred as the dull pulse of music came through the wall.

“What do you want?” You grabbed his hand as it crept lower on your stomach.

“I think you know, sweetheart,” He grabbed your hip and turned you around. He pushed you into the wall and pinned you with his other arm across your chest. “You come into my place and won’t even say hello.”

“What are you-- No, I--” 

“Shhhh,” He hushed as he leaned closer, his arm heavy against you as his other hand brushed over your skirt. “You don’t wear this,” His fingers curled under the hem along your thigh. “And not want attention.”

“Stop,” You tried to grab his hand as he ripped your skirt up. “Stop!”

“Go on and yell,” He chuckled. “You think anyone will hear you.”

“Someone will--”

���And what are they gonna do?” 

He shoved his hand against your crotch and kicked his foot between yours. He forced your legs apart and pressed his fingers to your panties. He rubbed you through the thin cotton and you felt as if your chest would collapse as his other arm kept you in place. 

He carefully drew your panties aside and ran his finger between your fold. You gasped and pushed on his shoulder.

“No,” You breathed. “Please--”

“Please,” He growled and added another finger, dragging them back and forth until he felt you slicken. “You don’t sound very convincing, sweetheart.”

He played with your clit and you bit into your lip. It felt good as your drunken wits slaked away easily. As your pleasure overwhelmed your fear. He continued to swirl his fingers around until your breath was thick and shallow.

He poked around your entrance and sank inside. You pushed your head back and moaned. He pulled his fingers in and out as your walls quivered around him. Your hand slipped down his shoulder and his own arm fell from your chest. 

He smoothly undid his fly and pushed his jeans open. He withdrew his fingers from your cunt and grabbed his swollen cock. He grabbed your leg and hiked it up against him as he leaned into you. He guided himself blindly over your fold and crushed your arms between your bodies.

He took you off your feet as he impaled you. You cried out and grasped the front of his leather jacket. Your lips formed an O as you stared into his darkened blue eyes. He thrust as he held your leg against him, rocking to the beat of the music. 

He lifted your other leg and had you propped up against the wall as he sped up. You freed your arms and stretched them across the painted concrete as he crashed into you over and over. You tried to hold in your pathetic whine as the heat of delight mixed with that of the alcohol that seared your stomach. Your eyes rolled back as you came, your purse smack against your side as this man held you at his mercy.

He hissed as his hips stuttered. His fingers pressed into your hips and he trembled. You opened your eyes as he pulled out suddenly and drew a hand back to stroke himself through his climax, his cum spurting onto the skirt bunched up around your waist.

He shuddered and grinned as he looked up at you. He slowly lowered you to your feet, your legs were like jelly. You stood straight, warily and he caught your arm. He spun you to face the concrete and pressed himself against your back as his voice gristled in your ear.

“You don’t really think we’re done here, do you?”

[the-winchester-girl02]

A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

(Part one )

())))))))))))

Mable and Steve Rodgers sat,

Their shoulders touched as their heads looked up at the black and white screen in front of them.

Steve’s eyes held a tight hold on the moving picture while Mable’s eyes wondered. She really didn’t know Steve’s obsession with the War. Well, she did, but she didn’t understand it.

When their parents died because of it, Mable was devistated and wanted nothing to do with the horrible thing, but Steve kept trying.

He kept trying and trying and nothing was ever going to stop him, not even the cry’s of his twin sister who begs him to change his stobbern mind.

So, there Mable sat. Her fingers twisting a loose strand of her wavy blond hair.

It wasn’t until she sees Steve lean forward did she pay attention.

The guys shouts to play the movie already angered Steve,

“Hey don’t you show some respect?” He says quietly.

Though the man would not, he continued to shout at the screen, his voice echoing.

“Hey, you wanna shut up?” Mable says herself. The man annoying her to no end with his pointless screaming.

The man slowly stood up and turned around,

Outside, Mable stood desperately as she watched the guy beat Steve up. She tried to stop him, but when she did, he pushed her and she fell to the floor.

Mable held her head, slightly dizzy as she stood up and tried to go for him again.

He punched Steve again, the boy hit his head against some trash bins.

“You just don’t know when to give up, do you?” The guy says to Steve.

Steve looked over to his sister, the though of her hurt because of this guy angered him even more.

“I can do this all day.” Steve says out of breath. He stood in a fighting position, then, he lunged at the guy.

However, he wasn’t quick enough and the guy punched him first, sending him to the ground with a thud.

Letting out a short gasp, Mable rushes over to him, she put her hand on his back and grabbed his arm and helped him up.

“Hey!” A voice Mable knew wall called out

The guy turned, their rescuer ruffly shoved him out of the way.

“Pick on somebody your own size.” He said

Not giving up, the guy went to punch him but the solider was quick. He sent him flying and fleeting.

“Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.” Bucky says with a smerk.

With Steve now up“I had them on the ropes.” He said

“ You okay?” He asks looking to his sister

“I’m fine. You got the most of it.” She tells him

She then looked to their friend, his dark green uniform stood out to her now.

A frown deepeened on her face.

Bucky bent down and picked up Steve’s slip.

“How many times is this?” He said reading it.

“Too many.” Mable mumbles to her self, though, both hear and Steve sends her a apologetic look.

“Oh, you’re from Paramus now?” Bucky said to Steve.

“You know it’s illegal to lie on the enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?” Bucky says

“I tell him every time.” Mable says rolling her eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest.

Bucky looks to her, he gave her a smerk and she felt her cheeks warm up and she looked shyly to the ground. 

Now looking at him, Steve noticed his outfit.

“You get your orders?” The boy asks

“107th. Sargent James Barnes. Shipping out first thing tomorrow.” Bucky says

Mable’s eyes widen, “tomorrow?” She whispers

Bucky looked over to her, a sad expression on his face as he looks at her. His feeling towards the girl he’s know his whole life, wash over him at full speed.

Mable and Bucky were a match made in heaven; though, none of them knew it yet.

There were looks, small toughes of the hand or waist, but none acted upon the gestures, not even that one kiss they shared under the covers after she had a nightmare. Their love affair was only acted upon from a distance, and now, they may never get a chance too change that.

However, Bucky had a one final trick up his sleeve.

“We should be going.” Steve then says, breaking the longing looks between the two.

“Come on, man. It’s my last night. I gotta get you two cleaned up.” Bucky then says as he brings his arm over Steve’s shoulder.

They walk and Mable walks beside them.

“Where are we going?” Mable asks

Bucky release Steve and brings his arm to her shoulder. She looks up at him in question.

“The future.”

())))))))))

Thanks for reading! I hope you like this! Let me know if you want a part two!! ❤️🤍💙

Sorry if this honestly kind of sucked ;)

[jbbarnesandnoble]

A Minute Too Late: Oneshot

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff

Summary: Soulmate AU Everyone is born with a soulmark on their wrist. It’s something that their soulmate says to them. The only issue? it’s your soulmates last words to you. You only know until it’s too late. 

Warnings: Endgame Spoilers, Mentions of Death, Angst, Grief, Regret, The Tiniest Hint of Fluff, Like a Splash of it, (you guys have seen Endgame, you should know what to expect)

Word Count: 3,249

A/N: Wild! I actually wrote a fic with no reader insert! This is so weird. But I still love this fic. So I should probably tell you... No happy ending in this one, strictly angst with a hint of fluff and domestic avengers. Loaded with gifs that aren’t mine. Also lines and dialogue taken from Avengers: Endgame. Which I do not own

Everyone is born with their soulmates last words written on their wrist. Some have paragraphs, some have a sentence, some have a single word. The only thing they have in common is that most of the time it's some sort of goodbye. The downside to having their last words tainting your skin? You never know until it's too late. 

It's ironic really, Steven Grant Rogers, the man who saves the world every other day as Captain America. Is scared of his soulmates words. Fear and dread flooded his senses when he looks at them. It got so bad he started wearing long sleeves, when it's too hot he switches to a leather wristband he bought at a flea market. The team -mostly Tony- likes to make fun of him for wearing it. But their torment and teasing comments are better than the dread of the words staining his skin.

He had assumed that Peggy was his soulmate, the first time he saw her, he had this feeling that maybe, just maybe, she was the one. The shock he felt when her last words to him didn't match the ones written on his wrist hurt him in a way he didn't know was possible. He spent so much time thinking he lost his soulmate, that he wasn't able to spend his life with her. Only to find that it wasn't her at all. 

During the five years post snap, Steve and Natasha lived in the Avengers Compound. Over time, Steve began to realize his feelings for a certain blond turned redhead. What he didn't realize is that they've been there longer than he would like to admit. He can only assume they began to develop after the kiss they shared while on the run from HYDRA. Sure it was to protect themselves from getting caught. But to him it felt like more than that. His entire body warmed -even more than it already is- at her touch. He thought about kissing her again for months after it happened. He felt a little creepy for thinking about if for so long after it happened.

Steve watches the woman sitting in front of him carefully. She’s as beautiful as the day he first met her all those years ago on the helicarrier. Back when everything seemed so much simpler. When their biggest threat was a god of mischief who just wanted to rule the earth, not and angry titan who wiped out half of the population.

Her brows are drawn together, telling Steve she’s deep in thought. “I used to have nothing." She starts slow at first. "Then I got this. This job, this family. And… I was better because of it. And even though they’re gone. I’m still trying to be better." She's right, Steve has watched as the once lonely assassin broke down her walls and began to trust this makeshift family of theirs. He watched her grow into this beautiful, nurturing, trusting woman. 

"We both need to get a life." He says, hoping to lighten the mood. Though a thought crosses his mind, only for a moment, 'Together' as quick as it appeared, it vanished. She looks at him, a beautiful smile painted on her soft features. "You first." Their moment is short lived when Scott Lang pops up on their camera footage from the front gate.

It feels like forever since the six of them have all been in the same room together. The same room without even fighting is a miracle. “Before we go on this suicide mission, I suggest we get shawarma. I would like at least one good meal before I die.” Tony says in his usual sarcastic manner to no one in particular.

“I want tacos…” Scott chimes in, “The last one I tried to eat got blown away.” he pouts, looking at Nebula who just ignores him whilst muttering something under her breath to Rhodey. Probably about him being an idiot. 

"I'll go with you to Vormir." Steve stands next to Natasha. They both watch as the others prepare to gather the stones and bring everyone back. She shakes her head after what feels like hours. “No,” she turns to face him. Her green eyes shine up at him. “You should go with Tony.” Steve opens his mouth to protest, she cuts him off before he has a chance to list the reasons why Tony doesn’t need his help. She holds her finger to his lips. “That’s an order, cap. You need to go with him.” his cheeks darken in color at the nickname coming from her lips. He’s been called cap thousands of times by many different people. But the only person who has ever been able to make his heart skip a beat from the nickname alone is the woman standing in front of him.

“Besides.” she gives him her iconic smirk. “Barton and I have got some catching up to do.” he chuckles, trying to rid himself of his nerves. His smile fades, his features turn serious. His blue eyes filled with concern. “Be careful out there?” her smile reassures him. “I always am.” she winks before walking off to find Clint. "Hey Nat." She whips around, her braid swinging over her shoulder. "Yeah Stevie?" She asks. Her face is serious, through her eyes shine with anticipation. "I wanted to tell you." He has the sudden courage to confess his love for her. He doesn't know where it came from and he isn't about to question it now. Not after he waited as long as he has. She takes a step closer, waiting for him to speak. "Nat, I lo-" 

"Hey Captain America, sir…" great. Steve internally grumbles. Mumbling an apology to Nat he turns to the direction Scott's voice rang from. "Yeah Scott?" He tries his best to mask his annoyance. He can't be seen getting angry at his number one fan. "I should go find Clint anyway." Nat adds. She mouths a later. Steve nods, hoping he hasn't lost his chance. Later

“Hey Barton.” Steve hears her call out from behind him. As he makes his way towards the direction of Scott and Tony he feels worry begin to pool in his stomach once more.

Moments later they find themselves standing together on the Quantum Time machine. Steve stands next to Nat of course. He steals a glance at her, she's beaming. Her face is so bright the sun envies her. Her eyes shine like a little kid on Christmas morning. Stunning. Crosses Steve's mind as he watches her. Then he realizes, he's watching her. All eyes are on him. Red flashes over his cheeks for a brief moment. Disappearing as fast as it appeared. He clears his throat. His face and tone switches from Steve Rogers to Captain America in no time. 

"Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves." He begins one of his famous Cap speeches. The kind the Avengers have heard time and time again. Yet they never fail to give everyone the motivation they need to complete their mission. Next to him he catches Nat tense up. He continues.

"Today, we have a chance to take it all back. You know your teams," Steve flashes a sad yet confident glance towards Natasha. She has an unreadable expression on her face. Quickly putting back on the face of Cap, he continues. "You know your missions. Get the stones, get them back. One round trip each. No mistakes. No do-overs. Most of us are going somewhere we know. But it doesn't mean we should know what to expect.  Be careful. Look out for each other. This is the fight of our lives and we're gonna win." 

Tony looks at Steve, his face full of determination. He gives his friend a smile; No, not Captain America, but Steve Rogers. He gives Steve Rogers a smile. One that tells Steve, we will bring them back. "Whatever it takes. Good luck." 

He turns his attention back to the redhead standing next to him. Her smile is just as bright as earlier. Yet there's a look in her green eyes that tell him something different, something changed from before. Once again she cuts him off before he can ask the question burning in his mind. "See you in a minute." Time freezes. She flashes him her iconic smirk once again. There's a fear in her eyes now. He can see it. 

She’s seen Steve's words. He showed her them during their time on the run after the fight at the airport. She knew the words she would speak before one of their deaths long before he did. She knows that one of them will die. That this is it. Their final mission. 

She notices the tears that burned in his eyes, that he tries so hard to hold back. She wishes he didn't have the same realization as her. She wishes the last memory she'll have of him is him smiling. Not threatening to break down. Because his smile is the only thing that can bring her peace in a time like this.

He looks at her again as soon as the words leave her lips. Fear evident in his face. His hand falls to his wrist. The words on his skin burn. 'See you in a minute.' They're the exact words tainting his skin. No. Before he knows it tears threaten to fall from his blue eyes. Not yet. Please not yet. But before he could stop her from going. She's gone forever, his heart shatters. She's off to face her doom or maybe he's off to face his. He actually isn't sure. He Hope's, he prays that it's his doom. He's lived long enough, besides. He doesn't know how he can get a life if she isn't right there beside him. Though the pit deep in his stomach tells him it's her doom. 

And he knows that she knows. She probably knew as soon as the first words of his speech left his mouth. Heck, he wouldn't be surprised if she knew way before then. Natasha Romanoff is a lot of things and dumb is not one of them. 

After the snap she wound up putting two and two together, that the words staining her soft skin became a whole lot heavier. 'Five years ago, we lost. All of us. We lost friends... We lost family... We lost a part of ourselves.' 

She realized long before that Steve must be her soulmate. Those words she repeated over and over in her mind during her time in the red room. They became a part of her. Once she met Steve she realized there's no one else who delivers speeches like that. It has to be him. Why else do you think she kissed him. Of course it was a good cover and she could easily play it off that she was doing it to protect them. But to her it wasn't just to get them out of a tight spot. It was to see if there was a spark. It was because she's thought about kissing his soft, pink lips for way too long. To her, that kiss was so gentle, there was a tenderness and a fondness behind it. She thought about kissing him for months after it happened. She felt like a creep. She was confident it was him. And she was right. 

It broke both of their hearts to know they never even had a chance to be together. But Nat had already made her peace with it. She knew five years ago when right after the snap. So what could she do? Make peace with the fact that she'll never get her chance with Steve. Because during those years they needed each other as friends more than lovers. They both thought that was true. But deep down they knew it wasn't. It was an excuse. They were too scared to face their feels, they both assumed they didn't deserve the other. They were wrong.

“You Okay?” Steve catches Nat staring down at the blank skin on her wrist. At the scarred flesh where her soulmates last and final words to her are meant to be. “Where’s everyone else?” she asked, ignoring his question. “Sam went to the VA, Rhodey’s with Tony and Wanda said something about teaching Vision how to cook.” he answers. Accommodating her. 

She turns to face him, green eyes meeting blue. "What about you?" She asks

He shrugs, sitting next to her. "I'm here to see a friend." She sighs, brushing a few strands of red hair behind her ear. "I'm fine, Steve. Really." She offers a fake smile

"Last time I heard that you had a bullet in your shoulder." He teases, placing his warm hand on top of hers. Giving it a gentle squeeze. "What's wrong." His voice is serious, yet there's a softness in his tone.

She thinks for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. "Back in the red room they taught us that soulmates and soulmarks are a distraction." Steve's face stays blank as she speaks. Listening intently. "I believed the lies they fed us, at least I tried to. But there was a part of me that wanted to know my soulmate. I mean no one can just say what they did and not be an amazing person." She looks away from Steve. Finding her hands much more interesting.

"So I held onto the words. I read them over and over until I knew it word for word." A dark laugh escapes her lips. "Glad I did too, otherwise I would have lost them forever." She moves her green eyes back to her wrist where her soulmark was. Steve's eyes follow Nats. "May I?" Nat's fingers brush over Steve's. He nods. She pulls his large hand into her own, before placing his fingers onto her scar. 

There are few things that Natasha Romanoff are ashamed of. Four things to be exact. The red room, the graduation ceremony, the red in her ledger, and her scar. She hates looking at it, even worse when other people look at it. Let alone touching it.

"Are you sure?" Steve asks. She smiles, gentle and genuine. She nods. Watching as his fingers trace over the burn mark. To most, they would find it gross or repulsive. But not to Steve. He doesn't mind. In fact he couldn't be happier. Natasha was sharing such a personal thing. And he was lucky enough to be the one she shared it with. He was blissfully unaware that he was the only one she wanted to share this moment with. 

“Steve, hey, Steve. You okay?" Kneeling next to Steve, Tony shakes the blond super soldiers shoulders. Jolting him out of his thoughts. He can't break down, not yet. Not when they're on the verge of saving everyone. He sucks in a shaky breath before standing. Tony follows his movement. Concern still etched onto his features. "All right, we all have our assignments. Two stones uptown, one stone, down. Stay low. Keep an eye on the clock." Just like that Steve is replaced with Cap.

Where Steve knew Nat was the one destined to die. The former Russian spy didn't. She had no idea which one of them would be the one to die. Despite her dark thoughts she can't help but feel a bit excited to not only time travel but go to space again. She feels like a little kid. Clint breaks her out of her thoughts. She instantly puts on a mask. Hiding any negative thoughts. 

"We're a long way from Budapest." A flood of memories rush through her, bringing a genuine smile to her face. She looks at her best friend, a laugh escapes her lips. His face lights up, mirroring her expression. For a moment, just a small moment. She forgets how this will end.

She looks off the edge of the cliff. Her brows furrowed in confusion. "The stone is down there?" She asks the… well she isn't entirely sure what he is. His answer sends a chill down her spine. Her blood freezes.

"For one of you. For the other... In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul, for a soul." 

She sits on the closet thing next to her. A million thoughts running through her mind. A soul for a soul. The storekeepers words play in her mind. She has to be the one to jump. Clint can't die. Not when he has a family to think about. They may have been dusted during the snap. But once they come back they'll need someone to help them readjust to life. For a moment, Steve crosses her mind. She feels a bit of relief when she realizes that it won't be him. She brings her hands in front of her face. Deep in thought. Steve will survive, they'll bring everyone back, and everything will be as it should be. The only difference? Nat won't be there. But she's okay with that. As long as everyone comes back can find happiness once again. Besides, she'll finally clean the red from her ledger. A win-win, right? Plus to die saving the world didn't sound all that bad. Maybe then Tony and Thor would finally admit she is the strongest Avenger. Bruce and Clint didn't take much convincing and Steve, well he admits it even without her efforts. Tony and Thor on the other hand, takes more convincing. And what better way than to die saving the universe. 

"How's it going?" He pauses, "Maybe he's making this crap up." Clint thinks aloud. 

She turns to face him, green eyes meeting blue. "No, I don't think so." 

“Why, cause he knows your daddy’s name?” He asks, hoping that maybe, just maybe, there’s another way. Except, there’s a part of him that knows deep down, there isn’t. 

“Thanos left here with the stone without his daughter. It’s not a coincidence.” her tone is serious. Clint's heart stops. She looks at him again, her face a mix of fear and confidence. “Whatever it takes.” she gives him a weak smile. Standing as she speaks.

“Whatever it takes.”

Steve’s worry hasn’t gone away since they left. Not because he was worried about the mission. But because he was worried about Nat. He survived his trip, meaning that something must have happened to her. Maybe the words were wrong and she’ll actually come back safe with Clint. He tried his best to have hope. Though it all died when he saw Clint, soaking wet, with the most broken expression he’s ever seen on another human.

“Clint, where’s Nat?” Steve’s voice fills the quiet room. 

He doesn’t answer, silence fills the room once again. That’s answer enough for them. All the worry and regret Steve was suppressing floods his system. His heart shatters once again. He already lost his first love, now he lost his soulmate, the love of his life. 

They won, they managed to get all the stones and bring everyone back. So why does it feel like they lost? Maybe because in some way they did. They lost the glue that held them together. They lost the person that never stopped fighting, even when everything seemed hopeless. They lost their sister, their friend, his soulmate. They lost even though they won. Little did they know, they would lose even more. 

A/N: K so that’s that. I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know there are a few parts that are a bit weird and maybe don’t make sense or kinda contradicted other things going on. But I could not be bothered to go through for the millionth time and fix it. I’m sorry:/ lmk what you thought I guess. Also, I WAS not kidding when I said this was loaded with gifs

[hufflepuffthatwantsanap]

Me about to read an angsty fanfic: don't read that it'll break your heart into a million peices and you'll cry

Me after i read the angsty fanfic that broke my heart: