#daytime bump!

[gideonisms]

One time I knew someone else on here was living in my city because they're from the same state and they started talking about the constant construction and the way you can't see the lane barriers. Worst roads out of anywhere I've ever lived. Once I drove through drying tar because I couldn't tell it wasn't the lane, it looked pretty much the same as my average trip to the grocery store

[arcticlutra]

Bernard: Hmm...

Jason: What?

Bernard: You look an awful lot like Bruce Wayne's dead son Jason Todd.

Jason: -blue screen-

Bernard: I mean add a few years and pounds.

Jason: Wait. What?!

Bernard: Hmm. -prods Jason- I suppose Wayne Enterprises would have the tech. It would explain a lot...

Jason: I...I have no idea what's going on right now.

Bernard: -dialling Tim- Hey Babe.

-indistinct phone noises-

Jason: Who even are...

-Bernard puts a finger to Jason's lips-

Bernard: Shh, I'm checking something. No sorry Babe, I was shushing the clone.

-loud, angry phone noises, and confused Jason noises-

Bernard: Tim, of course I'm not talking to a Robin, it's daytime. I'm talking to the clone of your adopted brother Jason Todd who I bumped into at the Farmer's Market.

-very angry phone noises-

Bernard: -sighing- Tim I love you, but we all know that Bruce Wayne dated the Batman, which is where the Batman clearly stole the Robin Cloning Tech from...

-angrier phone noises-

Bernard: Look Tim, don't get angry at me that your adopted father's ex doesn't understand boundaries. Anyway, I have to go as your Brother's clone is malfunctioning and a hot red head with a kid is trying to drag him away from my citizen's arrest. Love you!

[opiumpoison]

Im wednesday dancing RIGHT NOW 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃🎏🎏

[cordeliawhohung]

Touch Me 'Till I Vomit (pet!au) [3]

pet!au | part 3 | ghoap x fem!reader (though very heavily just johnny in this one)

johnny's been waiting for this all night

cw: non-con, dark content, groping, thigh-fucking, threats of harm, drugging

Something tethered you to the earth when you woke up.

Not by rope or chain, but by weight. Every part of you was heavy. Lethargic limbs, weighed down eyelids that couldn’t quite flutter open, a diaphragm that refused to pull in enough air for you to breathe. Even your tongue turned into lead in your mouth as you stared up at an unfamiliar ceiling. 

A quiet TV droned on somewhere close by, but its sound was so faded it was impossible to tell if it was the morning news or some late night football rerun. No, it had to be morning, you were certain of it. Or, at least daytime. Gentle beams of sun danced on the decaying walls just out of focus, which would have paired nicely with the scent of cooked meat that wafted into the room had your stomach not twisted at the smell. 

The effects of dehydration in your body was agonizing. Cotton-like dryness accompanied the heavy tongue in your mouth, and your skin felt like it contracted in on itself. Hazy memories attempted to surface in your thoughts, but they were disconnected. Incomplete. You could recall the sweat on your skin at work and the taste of fizzy soda on your tongue, but that was it. All you were left with in that moment was an overwhelming sense of warmth and a panicked frustration. 

You needed to get up. You needed to do something. Yet when you tried to move your legs, nothing happened. Muscles tensed and strained, but a greater weight held them down. Your neck cried out as you lifted your head up — were you laying on a bed? It felt too soft to be anything else — and you only managed to lift it enough to catch a simple glance at the figure on top of you before your head collided with the mattress underneath you. 

A man rested his head on your stomach as if you were a pillow and not a human. Every muscle in your body went stiff with fear as your brain processed that realization. There was a glimpse of dark hair shaved into an overgrown mohawk accompanied by thick arms that wrapped around your hips, keeping your body close to his. It was then that you realized you were stuck in a cage with some sort of beast. No god in the depths of the universe could heed your silent prayer to be unnoticed by him. Your blood had already begun to sing in fear, and that was something a dog like Johnny never failed to notice. 

His head perked up off of your stomach where he caught sight of your conscious state, and a grin bloomed on his lips as he rose above you. Everything felt lighter without his weight holding you down, but that did not mean you were any less trapped. The ocean blue of his gaze paralyzed you into submission as his arms caged your body on either side. 

“Mornin’ Bonnie,” he greeted in a near purr. 

Fear muddled with confusion settled deep in the confines of your stomach where it bubbled and festered. Its taste was soured when coupled with the queasiness that overwhelmed your senses, and you found it difficult to even muster an answer. He looked at you with such adoration in his eyes that it was almost as if the two of you had known each other forever, but you couldn’t recall a single memory of him in your life. The scars on his chin, the slight stubble along his jaw, the collar around his throat; all of it was unrecognizable to you. 

The man chuckled something sweet and bone chilling as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. You felt your body tense and recoil, yet it wasn’t enough to deter him. His inhale of your scent was overly obvious as he bumped his nose against the underside of your jaw like a dog. 

“Still tired? You’ve been sleepin’ all night. Waited all morning for you to wake up,” he said in a near whine. 

Your legs finally moved, but that was not your own doing. The man’s knees slid between yours where he used his thighs to part them. Wide hips sunk down against yours where you could feel him grind up against you through your pants, something that he performed without any embarrassment. The garbled whimper that erupted from your throat as your body wiggled in protest sounded just as pathetic as you felt. 

“Could help ya wake up, if you want, Bonnie. Been dying to get a taste of you all day,” he whispered, voice low and even up against your ear. 

Why wouldn’t your body listen to you? Why couldn’t you fight, kick, and scream? All you had been reduced to was a husk, some empty shell for this strange, delusional man to play with. Your teeth ached to sink into the side of his neck as one of his hands began to wander under your shirt. Fabric bunched up around your waist as he shamelessly pawed at your tits like a ravenous beast. It was only then that you realized your bra had vanished, but that was the least of your concerns. He reveled in the feeling of you with another chuckle while his teeth nipped at the soft flesh along your shoulder. 

His movements ceased when heavy footsteps sounded outside of the door. He did not seem at all bashful for what he did to you, and that smile still remained on his face as he pulled away from your neck to sit back on his haunches, still nestled between your thighs. His unrelenting gaze finally broke away from you to look at the doorway, and your eyes had no choice but to follow his lead. 

The figure that emerged from the shadows of the hallway made you want to tuck tail and run as fast as you could. You thought about it so hard you could almost taste it, yet with your body in whatever state you had woken up to, you were nothing but a pathetic worm baking under the searing heat of his gaze. His tight jaw and pursed lips spelled nothing but disdain, and you swallowed hard. This man didn’t look human. You were certain no other human could look at someone as if they were so far beneath them, yet this stranger had somehow done it. To him, you were nothing but filth. Nothing at all. 

“Eager, aren’t ya?” the looming figure asked as he pressed further into the room. 

“She just woke up,” the man above you beamed. “Come on, I’ve been patient all night. You’ll let me have her, won’t you?” 

“Down, Johnny.” 

Silence fell over the room as the man stepped closer and closer to the bed, and you could feel your body shake underneath his gaze. There was nothing kind or playful about his aura as he knelt on the floor next to the bed. Even when he was on his knees he was still plenty taller than the bed, giving him ample room to reach a hand out for your jaw. His cruel grip drew a squeaky wince from your parched throat as he forced your head to the side to fully face him. Dark eyes watched with careful attention as your pupils dilated. Fear was one hell of a drug, but it was nothing compared to the roofies that still tainted your blood. 

“She’s awake, but still out of it,” the man said as he let go of your jaw. 

“But can I have her? Please, Simon, I’ve been good, haven’t I?” Johnny asked as the man stood to his feet. 

Relief flooded through you when that man — Simon? — finally looked away from you, only for your stomach to drop when his fingers looped through Johnny’s collar. In order to prevent himself from falling when Simon tugged at it, Johnny’s hands came up to rest on his chest, but he didn’t seem nearly as terrified as you felt he should have been.

“What did I say? Not ‘til I say so. Fuck ‘er now, she might get pregnant. Would hate to get rid of ‘er ‘cause of that. You don’t want that, do you Johnny?” Simon asked.

Johnny shook his head and Simon’s grip on his collar loosened, but didn’t fully go slack. There was something in that terrible man’s gaze that softened in a way you didn’t expect. Maybe it was the twitch of his scarred lips, or the relaxation of his brows, but he almost seemed to actually care. About Johnny, anyway. His eyes were as cold as stone the moment they landed on you again. 

“I’ll be back tonight. Make sure she gets some water,” Simon continued as he dug into the pocket of his jumper. 

“‘Course,” Johnny replied. 

Black fabric hung limply around Simon’s fingers as he worked it over his face until you saw nothing but his eyes. Those eyes. Unkind and bitter, just like they were the night before. 

“Remember, play nice,” he added.

It all came crashing down around you as he left the room and Johnny’s attention fell back on you. Fuzzy remnants of memories of your night at work with that large monster haunting the corner in the back. You remember noting how he didn’t take a single sip of his drink the entire night, ever removed that stupid fucking mask. It was him. 

That son of a bitch. 

That realization sparked something in you. Something foul. Something that wanted blood. It demanded that you sink your claws into him, wet your maw with his blood until your mind was blank. But you were in no such state for vengeance. Your body tried in its pitiful way as your elbows dug into the mattress in an attempt to sit yourself upright, but that only made the world spin something fierce, and a sob nearly escaped you as your torso fell back onto the bed. 

“What’s the matter, Bonnie?” Johnny asked as he rested his hands on either side of your waist. 

“That man… that man kidnapped me,” you said. You wanted to scream those words out, to convey your desperation, but your tongue wouldn’t move properly and every thought took nearly all your energy just to form. 

“Oh, Simon?” Johnny questioned with a grin. He always smiled. Always seemed happy. Too happy. “Silly lass, he saved you just like he saved me.”

Saved you? It was crazy enough for you to almost laugh at it.

“No, no you don’t understand, I’m not supposed to be here,” you retorted. 

Your words fell on deaf ears. Johnny’s mind was too shrouded with lust and desire to make any sense of what you begged for him to understand. The hands that rested on either side of your waist instead moved to the waistband of your pants where his fingers gently slid underneath the fabric. He gave it a swift tug, and you found your legs attempting to close in protest only to be blocked by his hips. 

“What’re you so worked up for, Bonnie? Of course you’re supposed to be here,” he said in an attempt to convince you. 

Even with your fuzzy brain, you knew that wasn’t the case. No, you should have been home in your shitty apartment underneath the covers on your bed trying to sleep off a long night’s work. Not there in some stranger's home. Not there with a man between your legs who began to tear your pants down your thighs like an animal. And perhaps he was, in some twisted way, an animal. He looked like a man, spoke like a man, yet he had that collar around his neck as if it was a warning. You should have known this was coming the very moment you woke up to find his teeth bared at you. 

Everything spun as Johnny flipped your legs to your left, and your torso had no choice but to follow, turning you on your side. With your stomach full of nothing but the remainder of your drink and Simon’s tampering from the previous night, you swore you nearly threw up right there on the bed. Your eyes screwed tight as Johnny’s fingers slipped your panties past the swell of your hips. He hadn’t even bothered to fully take your clothes off; just moved them down far enough until your ass and cunt were exposed to him. 

“Please, stop,” you pleaded, voice hardly carrying over the sound of your heart jumping in your chest. 

In some sort of pathetic attempt to save what was left of your dignity, your hands blindly sought after your pants, but Johnny pushed them to the side as he unzipped his own pants. White hot fear raged in your chest as you dared at glance over your shoulder. You would have thought Johnny’s eyes were beautiful if you weren’t filled with terror at the glint just beyond their blue hue. That feeling only got worse as you caught sight of the way he fisted his cock. 

“N-No, you can’t,” you tried to plead further. “Please, I’m not- he said not to, remember? We shouldn’t, he’ll get mad, please.” 

It was the only thing your mind could think of that might convince him. To bring up what the other man had said earlier. Would hate to get rid of her. Simon’s words had seared your brain, and you knew you didn’t want to find out what he meant by getting rid of you. Johnny’s infatuation with you seemed to know no bounds, and though it felt disgusting trying to play into their game, it was the only hand you were able to hold in your state. 

“Just the tip, please Bonnie,” Johnny insisted. The head of his cock pushed against your tight cunt and your body recoiled at the sensation. There was no slick to be found within your folds, the only lubrication came from Johnny’s leaking tip. “That’s it, that’s all I want. I need it.” 

The breath for your response didn’t even have the chance to pass through your lips before he pushed into you. Your thoughts cut off with a simple yelp at the sting and stretch of him while he bullied into you. With the dehydration that ravaged your body, there was nothing to soothe the ache as he forced your cunt to swallow him. You weren’t sure how much of himself he made you take, but you knew if he went any further he’d ruin you. 

“Christ, Bonnie. Fuck, I knew it. Knew from the moment I saw those pictures of you that you were the one,” Johnny rambled as he shallowly thrusted into you, keeping his promise of only giving you the tip of him. “Been waitin’ for this for so long…” 

After a few more pathetic thrusts, Johnny pulled out of you. It was sudden, but the reprieve was almost enough to make you sob. Perhaps animals were capable of telling the truth after all; of grinning with razor sharp fangs and only taking what they promised they would. 

Much to your dismay, Johnny’s hips slammed against you once more, and you cried out. But there was no stretch. No deep ache where your body was supposed to be forced apart to make room for him. Instead of nestling his cock into your cunt — like you knew he wished he could — he slid it between the plush flesh of your thighs with a near growl. You could feel the warmth of it, the way it throbbed with a vicious yearning to rip you to shreds, and it didn’t take him long to start pumping himself in and out between your legs. 

“I promise, Bonnie. I’ll fuck you properly when Simon says I can. Just been waitin’ so long for you I- I have to have this,” Johnny babbled. His hands pressed down on your thighs, forcing them closer together, making the stimulation all the more intense for him. You watched as his head rolled back, exposed neck straining against the leather collar he was bound by where the word Soap glinted on the silver tag; like a proper dog. “A real angel. I told him you were. Thank you. Thank you.” 

You didn’t bother to entertain his insane mumbling with a response, but he didn’t seem to care. Each drag along your heating skin only seemed to melt his mind into a further mess, and all you could do was lay there and take it as he fucked your thighs. It would be over eventually, you told yourself. It had to be. 

Lucky. That word popped into your mind with relentless force, ruining your attempt at ignoring the situation. Lucky. It was a miracle he hadn’t gone any further, hadn’t ravaged your cunt until you were raw and broken. But you did not feel blessed when the bile in your stomach roiled in protest at every thrust. It did not seem auspicious that your head pounded with each violent shake of your body as if your mind tried to self-destruct to save you from the agony of survival. You were anything but fortunate. 

Johnny’s hips pressed flush against the crux of your thighs, and you felt his cock pulse between your legs. His sticky spend shot out and clung to the inside of your thighs as he came, head falling forward against your shoulder until he had fully caged your body with his again. His cum seeped out from the top of your thighs where it dripped onto the bed spread below you. Had you been home, you would have worried about stains. But you weren’t. No matter whatever twisted future Johnny and Simon had planned for you, that would never be home. 

Not bothering to zip his pants back up, Johnny collapsed onto the bed next to you. With you already on your side, it was the perfect position for him to slot his chest right against your back where he wrapped a firm arm around your center. His skin felt warm and disgusting against yours, and if you weren’t so spent you would have attempted to scurry off to clean up the mess he made of you. But there wasn’t much you could do as he nuzzled his nose against the nape of your neck and exhaled a deep sigh. 

“Please,” you pleaded, voice raw, “let me go home.” 

“But you are home,” Johnny chuckled. “Finally home.” 

Home. In the arms of a man with his cum between your thighs. Yes, that’s what he wanted. Johnny would ruin you every night if that’s what it took to get you to see that you really had been saved.

[arjwrites]

Times You Threatened to Kill Dean Winchester- Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: A brief account of all the times you wanted to kill a certain hunter.

Warnings: Language, character death, thoughts of suicide, references to sex, threats... A good mix of fluff and angst! Word Count: 2.3k A/N: This one was a labor of love! I have a few other fics in the works as per a few requests I have received, but this one was speaking to me tonight, so I sat down to write it! Please enjoy- in the meantime, your requests are coming soon! <3

-

“Dean Winchester, I could just KILL you!” 

You were extremely familiar with the Winchester boys’ prank wars by now. You had been witness to a few different cycles of this behavior over the many years you had known them- in fact, if someone were to dig through the old cardboard box you kept hidden in the spare room at Bobby’s, they’d probably find a few faded teenage pictures of a bald Sam after Dean snuck Nair into his shampoo, or a sleeping Dean with some sharpie-d enhancements adorning his face. But up until now, you had always kept to the sidelines. Time and time again, you claimed Switzerland to avoid their shenanigans, because it always got way too out of hand.

But today, when you climbed out of bed, still groggy with sleep, stepping into the bathroom of your shared motel room, an entire bucket’s worth of ice water that had been balanced atop the door came crashing down on you. The sensation sent a shockwave through your whole body, and from the noise that escaped your lips, you would’ve thought you had been shot. And to add insult to injury, the bucket itself smacked against your head on its way down. 

So to start your day, you were soaking wet, freezing, pissed off, and nursing a swelling bump atop your head. A blind rage filled your body. You knew it had to have been Dean, it was his turn to retaliate after Sam had messed with the stereo in the Impala so that it only played Barbie Girl. It had been a long, silent ride home after last night’s hunt. 

“Dean Winchester, you are a dead man!” The words came bursting out of you as you stormed your way out of the bathroom.

“What did I- Oh my GOD. That wasn’t for you.” Dean’s eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head. He knew he had fucked up. 

The first thing to go flying across the room was the bucket, which nailed Dean in the chest with an anticlimactic thud. You followed close behind it. At full speed, you sprinted into Dean, knocking him back onto the bed behind him.

“Get off me! You’re soaking wet!” Dean protested, throwing his arms between you two in an effort to shield himself. 

“Yeah, how do you like it?” You weren’t going to back down. 

So that is how you ended up wrestling with Dean. You put up a surprisingly good fight for a lot longer than you expected, able to overpower him via sheer force of will. Once Dean got his bearings, though, he flipped you over, hovering on top of you and pinning you to the bed by your wrists. You held an intense eye contact for a brief moment while you each caught your breath. In doing so, you came to the mutual realization that this was ridiculous. You didn’t know who cracked the smile first, but as Dean’s grew, so did yours, until you were grinning like idiots and erupting into laughter.

“You know, this isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted you wet and in my bed,” Dean raised his eyebrows and tossed you a sly wink.

“Yup, I’m doing it. I am killing you.” 

-

“Dean I swear to God, if you keep me cooped up in this motel room for one more minute I am going to lose my mind.” 

“Would you relax? Sam and I are almost back at the witch’s house. We’ll gank her, it’ll reverse the spell, you’ll be right as rain.”

“God I hope so. This is driving me up the wall. I will never watch another second of daytime TV after this.” With the press of a button, you hung up the phone and tossed it across the room onto the bed. This was getting seriously old.

While taking on a vengeful spirit case, you and the Winchesters had run into a particularly pesky witch. Long story short, she cast a spell at you, and none of you could figure out what it was. It was driving you crazy, and what was driving you crazier was that the boys had locked you in the motel room for two days while they tracked the witch back down. All around town, all over the area, until they finally caught her trail heading back to her own house. Where they had started.

The problem was, you felt fine. You really didn’t think there was anything wrong with you. You wanted to get out there and help them, do some research, go to the damn grocery store, literally anything. But Sam and Dean had insisted that the safest thing for you to do was to stay behind. We don’t know what she did to you, Y/N. It could be dangerous for you to leave. It’s better if you stay here and do absolutely nothing. It made sense, to an extent, you just weren’t very happy about it. 

After a few hours and several more episodes of the most mind-numbing daytime talk shows you could imagine, you heard the sound of keys jingling and the motel door creeping open. In came Dean, wearing a strange expression on his face. If you hadn’t known any better, you would’ve thought it was fear.

“So? Ding dong, the witch is dead, I don’t have to blow my brains out?” You asked, more than ready to be done with the whole fiasco.

“Um.” Dean was avoiding eye contact. His hands slipped into his pocket and he sucked in a long, sharp breath.

“Dean.” 

“So, uh, maybe…” He slipped a hand across his mouth, stalling his words. “Look, you might have to stick around here for one more day. We uh, think she might be in the town over, but we kind of lost her trail.”

On the car ride back to the motel, Dean had prepared for you to react by yelling, screaming, hitting, anything to unleash the anger he knew was coming. In fact, that was why Sam had waited in the car- to give him a little time to break the news. But in front of Dean was something much, much scarier. Your jaw was clenched, your gaze was distant, and your eyes narrowed. You were just… sitting there. The silence lasted for what felt like ages. It was enough to send the man spiraling. Finally, you looked up.

“Dean?” 

“... Yes?”

“You better kill that witch tomorrow before I kill you.”

“Duly noted.”

- 

Losing Sam had been just about the worst thing that could have ever happened to any of you. Watching him fall to his knees after Jake backstabbed him, Dean cradling him as the life finally slipped from his body… It brought you to tears just thinking about it. You had loved Sam like a little brother. But as much as it tore you up inside, his death had happened. So goes the life of a hunter. It was time to let Sam rest. 

Dean, however, had still refused to make peace with the loss of his brother. It had been several days and Sam’s lifeless body was still laying out on a mattress. Dean just couldn’t let go. You and Bobby had begged him to let you lay Sam to rest, but he simply wasn’t having it. Dean was angry, defensive, and hurt, far deeper than you had ever seen. After conferring privately with each other, you and Bobby figured maybe it would be best to give him a little time alone with Sam, for closure’s sake. 

So a day later when Sam Winchester, live and in the flesh, waltzed into the room to thank you and Bobby for patching up his wound without so much as a second thought, your heart dropped like a rock. The feeling that washed over you was worse than any grief you had felt this past week. Of course, it was amazing to have Sam back- it felt like a miracle. But miracles don’t just happen, especially not to Winchesters. And when you looked to Dean, he refused to meet your eyes.

Not wanting to alert Sam of the situation, you made an excuse to get Dean to follow you outside. You trudged as far as you could in silence, you not daring to look in his direction, until you knew you were out of earshot from the house. 

“What did you do, Dean?” Your back was still turned, and your voice was hardly a whisper. You were surprised Dean could hear you at all.

“Y/N-”

“What did you DO? How long did they give you?” The question ripped from your chest, but you weren’t sure you were ready to hear the answer. 

“A year.” 

One year. You dropped to the ground. The gravel dug into your skin, but all your senses were numbed with hurt. You wanted to ask what made him think he could do this- to Bobby, to Sammy, to you? But when you opened your mouth to speak, the ache that resonated through your chest stifled the words.

Dean slid down next to you in silence. He wrapped a single arm around you, and you leaned your head into him. All you could do was cry silent, heavy tears. For what felt like hours, there was nothing you could say. The pit in your stomach swirled back and forth from anger to despair to fear, culminating in a blinding nausea. You looked up at Dean, who simply stared straight ahead. There was a staggering coldness in his eyes that drove the knife further into your core.  

“God damn it Dean Winchester, I could just kill you myself, right now.” 

“You’ll have to get in line, sweetheart.” 

-

If you thought a few days without Sam had been bad, four whole months without Dean was your own personal hell. After Dean’s time was up, you couldn’t bear to be around anyone who reminded you of him. You hadn't spoken to Bobby or Sam or any other hunters- any other people, for that matter. You had practically dug yourself a grave, isolated from the world around you, lost and in the dark. 

This was the worst hurt you had ever felt in your life. Four months later and the wound in your heart was just as fresh as the day it arrived there. Every time it began to heal, one wrong move and it started aching, throbbing, bleeding again. But at this point, the pain was all you had left of Dean. So you let it bleed. 

The knock on the motel room door did nothing to stir you from your place in bed. It had been days, maybe a week, since you had risen for anything but your basic needs. You had called the front desk to extend your stay multiple times, running up a scammed credit card Dean had probably given to you at some point. There was nowhere else for you to go, so you laid down weary roots right here. 

The knock persisted but you remained still. It could’ve been the police, the president, or the pope and you couldn’t have cared any less. Go away. There was a clanging noise followed by the shifting of the lock’s mechanisms. Whoever it was, they were breaking into your room. A few months ago, you would’ve jumped into action, but all of your hunter self-preservation instincts were long gone. Whoever it was could come in and take whatever they wanted and shoot you dead in the process. Maybe they’d be doing you a favor. 

You rolled over in bed as the door creaked open, prepared to lay eyes on whoever was here to bring your demise. However, you were met with the one face that could have coaxed you out of the bed. The face you hadn’t seen in four months. The look in his eyes teemed with love and longing, which made your stomach churn. 

“This is a real sick joke.”

“No, Y/N, it’s-” 

For the first time since before Dean’s death, you snapped into hunter-mode, rising to your feet and snatching holy water and a knife from the bag under your bed in the process. It was a little slow, a little clumsy, and clearly a bit out of practice.

“You know, I was about to let whoever you were come right in and kill me. What reason do I have to stick around anymore? But this- this is just sick.” You laughed- your first laugh in months, and yet nothing was funny. 

“It’s me, Y/N, I-”

“No. I’m going to kill you now.” And you lunged, splashing holy water with one hand and thrusting the knife with the other. 

When Dean caught your hand before the knife could strike him, twisting your arm to defend himself from your lackluster attack, it took you longer than it should have to realize that the holy water hadn’t fazed him. Before it registered, you struggled against his grasp, but months of malnutrition and stagnant muscles had left you weak. You cried out as you fought, before fully dissolving into tears and dropping the knife in a mix of defeat and acceptance. Dean placed two heavy hands on your shoulders as if to ground you back in the moment.

“It’s me. I swear.” The beads of holy water that rolled off his face paralleled the tears that rolled off yours. Your hand reached up to wipe a droplet away- partially out of habit, partially to test that he was real, that he wouldn’t disappear at your touch. He didn’t. Instead, both his hands planted on your face, matching your movement. 

“Oh, Dean.” That was the only way you could express it. Dean. Here, real, standing in front of you, and not a demon. Just pure Dean. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he whispered, and it felt like home. He pulled you into a gentle hug, as if he harbored the same fear as you- that you may disappear beneath his very touch. But you were real, and so was he. You wouldn’t disappear, and neither would he. Dean was back, and because of that, you were back too.

“Good thing you didn’t kill me, right?” 

[astarion-approves]

Hello! So hopefully this isn't too similar to stuff you've done previously if it is feel free to skip, but may I perchance request a wee drabble of soft astarion caring for a particularly vulnerable tav after he takes maybe a bit too much blood. Like, tav is all pale and cold, tremble-y and dazed- maybe a wee bit delirious or confused, ya know blood loss things. (Someone needs to be making sure Tav is getting some juice or something after all the blood they're giving to astarion and losing in battle) thank you!!! I love your work! You're doing a great service for the astarion lovers <3

Astarion x GN! Tav

A poor bloodless Tav is just a bit out of it.

Tags: Gn! Tav/reader, OOC Astarion, confessions, hand feeding, 850+ words, short and sweet

Read below or on AO3

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“Astarion.” Shadowheart approached him, waking him from his daytime nap, her lips pressed together and a glare already prepared before she even reached his tent. “Have you noticed something wrong with Tav?” 

“Hm?” Astarion blinked up at her, his arms resting behind his back and not bothering to move as she stared down at him. “No, why?” 

Shadowheart rolled her eyes and tilted her head to the side, gesturing for Astarion to look in that direction. Astarion sighed and sat up in his bedroll, glancing to where Tav stood. 

They held a single kiwi in front of their face, their eyes narrowed as they stared at the fuzzy fruit. 

Astarion blinked as he watched them. “Shadowheart, for just how long have they been standing there like that?” 

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. Long enough for me to notice?” 

“By the Hells,” Astarion cursed and stood up, jogging past Shadowheart and making his way to Tav. 

They didn’t even notice him approach, their staring competition with the kiwi still on going. 

“Tav,” Astarion gently grabbed their shoulder, earning a gasp from Tav and the thud of the kiwi as it fell to the ground. 

“Shit,” they said with a frown. “I was going to eat that.” 

“I didn’t mean to startle you—“

“Do you wanna share it?” 

Astarion looked down to where the kiwi laid at Tav’s feet, it landed directly into a muddy puddle. “I’m not sure you should still eat that, darling.” 

“Damn,” Tav replied and sighed. They turned to walk away, bumping into Astarion’s shoulder and nearly falling to the ground. 

Astarion reached out quickly and caught them, holding Tav in his arms, surprised by how little strength they had. They trembled in his arms, their skin a few shades lighter than it normally was—

“Tav, did you eat anything after I fed from you last night—?”

“Yes! Actually… No… I’m not sure?” 

Astarion clicked his tongue at Tav, letting out a quick sigh before scooping them up and into his arms completely. They both said nothing as Astarion carried them to his tent, the human opting to snuggle their head into his chest as he carried them. 

He carefully lowered them into the makeshift bed, Tav smiling up at Astarion and attempting to pull him down and into the bed with them. 

“Ah, ah, ah, not quite yet, my dear. We need to get you a little snack.” 

“I’m your little snack.” 

“Yes, you are. My cute little snack.” Astarion chuckled as he left the tent in search of some food. It was rare that Tav would forget to eat something after one of their feedings, the human insisting on being awake for it these days as they claimed they enjoyed the intimacy. Not that Astarion disliked that, in fact it made his bite much more enjoyable knowing that Tav was there and happy to share their blood with him. Amongst other things…

Soon Astarion returned with clean fruit in hand, cut strawberries and a few blueberries prepared and resting in a bowl for his companion to enjoy. “Here,” he said and held a strawberry to Tav’s lips. “Eat this.” 

“I wanted a kiwi.” 

Astarion smiled and ran his free hand through Tav’s hair before pausing and carefully easing their head up and into his lap. “I’ll make sure to get you more kiwis later. For now, please eat.” 

Tav pouted, but allowed Astarion to feed them the berry. 

“My apologies, Tav. I must have taken more blood from you than usual. I didn’t notice how you were feeling.” 

“Don’t be. Maybe I just like when you hand feed me.” 

Astarion rolled his eyes and pressed a blueberry against their lips next. “Then I will gladly feed you fruit every day. It’s the least I could do.” 

“I love you.” 

Astarion froze, a slice of strawberry halfway in Tav’s mouth as they gazed up at him with tired eyes. “Tav—“

They pushed the berry to the side of their mouth with their tongue, only struggling slightly as they quickly chewed it and swallowed it down. “I know you’re not there yet, that you might not ever be there, and I know I probably look like shit right now—“

“Never—“

“But I love you, and I’m always willing to feel faint for a little bit if it means making you happy.” 

“Tav,” Astarion placed the bowl to the side. “What would ever make you think that I don’t love you?” 

Tav’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“Do you have any idea how much I adore you?” Astarion laughed. “I don’t need your blood. Of course.. I do rather enjoy it, but I don’t need it.”

“But—“

“Could you honestly see me hand feeding fruit to Lae’zel because she gave me a little blood?” 

Tav snorted. “No.” 

“Of course not, my dear. Only you.” Astarion lowered himself, kissing Tav softly, briefly swiping his tongue over their berry flavored lips before pulling back with a smile. 

“So… does this mean we’re dating?” 

“I would certainly hope so. What other vampire spawn is going to feed you strawberries? You won’t find another like me.” 

[targaryen-dynasty]

SUSPICIOUS SILENCE.

Modern!Daemon Targaryen x pregnant!wife!Reader

WARNINGS: Family fluff, hinted lactation kink lol

WORDS: 986

NOTES: Here is the fluff everyone (me lmao) wanted!! Love me some nice happy family scenarios with our favorite men, tbh. And I'm stuck in limbo with Object of Desire right now! This is not beta read!

Daemon was working from home today to take care of your daughter while you were out for brunch with Floris, his nephew’s wife that’s also winding down the halfway mark of pregnancy just like you. 

And although it’s around your toddler’s daytime nap time, it’s too quiet when you open the front door to your penthouse. Suspiciously quiet. 

You should be hearing Daemon talk on the phone or type on his keyboard, very rarely even doing the cleaning. But the door to his office is ajar, the light is turned on, however, there’s complete silence. 

As you walk towards it, peeking into the room, you notice it’s vacant, the large office chair empty. 

You frown, and continue to walk along the hallway. There’s nervousness creeping up on you, mostly because Daemon would’ve messaged you if he decided to go outside with your daughter, and you start to rub your protruding bump in a reassuring manner. That is, until you stand in the door to the living space; the sight you’re greeted with immediately melting your heart. 

Daemon is lying on the sofa, bare chested and a towel still clutched in his right hand, and your little daughter is firmly tucked into his left side, her cheek pressed against his chest with his hand resting on her back. 

The sight of your little daughter sleeping soundly in his arms is enough to make you smile. Despite his rough exterior, your big, tough husband also is a loving father who doesn’t hesitate to do anything for his family. 

You walk over to him, and press a gentle kiss to his forehead which slowly makes his mesmerizing blue eyes creak open. Squinting them to adjust to the brightness of the room, he doesn’t move a muscle besides that to not wake the sleeping toddler up. 

Daemon gazes up at you with a soft stare, before finally speaking with a low voice. “Hello, darling. How was your day?”

Caressing his arm tenderly, you smile at him. “It was alright. You two are enjoying some quality time, I see,” you whisper. “Had a nice nap?”

“Aye, we had quite a fun time. Wanted to take a quick shower while she was asleep, but she woke up and needed me to comfort her.”

You gently fondle your daughter’s hair, smoothing it as you both just watch her for a moment. “I’ll watch her for a little while if you still want to take a shower,” you eventually propose. 

But your husband isn’t having any of it. “Nah, how about you join us now, and we both take that shower together once this little monkey’s in bed, mh?” His hand clasps around your wrist, and he gently tugs you towards the sofa, not giving you any chance to reject his offer. 

His proposition makes you chuckle softly, and you feel your cheeks turn red. If there is one thing your husband knows, it’s how to take care of you, too. After the birth of your daughter, you’ve been feeling insecure about your body, especially with the weight you’ve gained throughout the pregnancy. But there hasn’t passed one moment where Daemon hasn’t made you feel desired and wanted by him, and the look he currently gives you is enough to send your hormones raging again.

Throwing the towel aside, you sit down to his right and snuggle up against him. His right hand snakes around your waist, instinctively coming to rest atop your swollen belly, and you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck, inhaling his irresistible scent. 

The toddler stirs slightly in her sleep, but isn’t too fazed by the slight commotion of you joining them on the sofa. 

“You do make a convincing argument,” you whisper, licking your lips.   

Noticing the sudden flush of color that appears on your cheeks, a mischievous glint flickers in his eyes. He nudges his nose against yours, and it’s enough to coax you to kiss him. It’s soft, barely more than a peck, and you’re struggling to keep yourself composed hearing his next words. 

“I can convince you of far better things once we’re all by ourselves, darling.”

You chuckle at his remark, and place your hand atop his on your bump, squeezing it softly. “Make sure to keep that promise. Don’t want to hope you’re just all talk,” you tease, your eyes flickering between his and his lips. “There are two things I definitely need your help with, Daddy.” 

Briefly glancing down at your swollen breasts, already producing enough milk as if they mean to provide for twins, you can spot the exact moment Daemon’s brain processes the innuendo. 

You follow his line of sight, lingering a tad too long on your full breasts, and chuckle as you notice his breath hitch in his throat. 

Daemon gives you a teasing look, the blue hue of his eyes almost eclipsed by black at this point, and bites his bottom lip. “I’m sure I can assist you thoroughly with whatever you need, darling.”

Running a hand through his hair before you slowly rise from the sofa, you giggle as you see him pout. “Let’s see then how well you follow through on your promises, Daddy,” you say, bringing your index finger to your lips as if you’re in thought. “Maybe we should ask Rhaenyra to take our girl for the night? Jace is just a few months older, and he’s completely besotted with her. We haven’t had any alone time in ages, and I’m sure she and Harwin won’t mind.” 

You can’t see the look on Daemon’s face at your suggestion, for you make yourself on your way to prepare the afternoon snack for your soon-to-wake daughter, but you hear him sigh loud and clear, and it’s enough to make you grin and your heart flutter. Just the anticipation of finally having some well deserved alone time with him again makes your blood run hot. 

General Taglist: @heimtathurs @valeskafics @connorsui @arcielee @watercolorskyy @black-dread @darylandbethfanforever9 @croatianprincess @snowystark @moonlightfoxx @melsunshine @urmomsgirlfriend1 @fan-goddess @at-a-rax-ia @tsujifreya @nothingqueens @ashovertheriver @bbgmonsay @doublesparrows @thetaygaryen @wintrr13 @winter-soldier-101 @thought--bubble

Daemon Taglist: @barbiedragon @hypocritic-trash-baby @schniiipsel

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A Village Raising (1) | Yandere Platonic Twisted Wonderland

“(Y/n) do you know why I called you in here today?”

“...no.”

You knew why you were here that’s why you wouldn’t look up from your sparkly loafers Vil had gifted you. You knew after that look Deuce gave you when Grim told him your secret that you’d get in trouble. 

Crowley rubbed at his chin in frustration, debating if he should summon the entire staff for a manner such as this. Or perhaps enlist the assistance of the fae in Diasomnia but that came with its own problems. Particularly the problem of their recurring petition for guardianship; saying that they were more fit guardians for you. 

“(Y/n), do you remember the fire faeries that keep the school warm in the winter?”

A smile spread on your face as you recalled giving the sticks to the warm faeries.

“Mmmmh!”

“Well there are many other types of faeries that like to live near the school. Like forest faeries, water faeries…princess faeries.”

He watched as your chubby hands wrung together behind your back. Rocking on your feet while looking side to side.

“...Yeah?”

“Yes. And did you know that the faeries will get really upset if their princess is stolen?”

An obviously guilty pout made its way to your face as you sucked on the inside of your cheek. 

“...I didn’t know that…”

“Yes…they cry and then they’ll start attacking students…so if you do see the princess fairy you’ll bring her to me first okay?”

“...But shouldn’t I give her to the faeries? Why you?”

“Just bring her to me, okay (Y/n)?”

“O-okay.”

“You can leave now.”

He cringed at your immediate departure, not oblivious to the hug he would have usually gotten. Resigning to sadly watch as you trotting out of the office on little legs to your monster companion. 

“That kid’s going to be the death of me.”

___________________________________________

“So how’d it go mini-henchman?”

You crossed your arms and puffed your cheeks.

“Horrible! And it's all your fault!”

“Nyeh?! How’s it my fault that you’re keeping-”

Grim was stopped by your pudgy hands on his snout as you looked suspiciously around the courtyard.

“Shhhh don’t tell anyone else! Meeeek!” 

You pulled your hand away wiping the slobber on your uniform as the monster cat stepped away. Pouting with his head away from you, he flicked his tail disapprovingly.

“Nyah! Release me!”

Glaring at him, you turned your head away as you marched to Ramshackle. Grim let his eye follow you before scampering to meet your steps, looking apologetic as you continued to ignore him. 

“Y-you’re not going to keep it are you?”

Continuing to ignore him you dramatically turned your head away, blindly walking until you bumped into somebody’s legs. Wobbling a little a pair of hands kept you steady to look up at your obstacle. Towering and, for many, intimidating was Malleus Draconia or to you and Yuuka: 

“Tsuno-taro?”

“Horns? Here? In the daytime? That’s awfully weird for you.”

“Hello, little one. For your information, Grim, I do exist outside of the night. I am no vampire.”

“Nyeh!? Coulda fooled me.”

“Tsuno-taro!  You have to let me go I have something to do!” 

Emerald eyes glinted with amusement as he lifted you up into his embrace. 

“Oh, you do now?”

“Yes. So you have to let me go.”

“How about I walk you there, I doubt you’ll feel comfortable walking in those.”

“Mmmm okay.” 

Leaning into his hold you relaxed against his shoulder, yawning as quietly as you could. Noticing, the dragon couldn’t help chuckling to himself.

“Are you perhaps tired little one?”

Snapping up you gave him a stern look, scrunching your face up. 

“No.”

“No? Not even a little bit?”

“Not even a little bit!”

“Ah, I see. Then it won’t mean anything if I–”

The prince brought a finger up to the bridge of your little nose bringing it down slowly, repeating the action a few times. Entranced by the way you leaned into his touch and closed your eyes in tandem, he fought the urge to keep tease you more. He only stopped when your hands swatted at him and slapped your own cheeks.

“No! No! I am’nt tired!”

Malleus let out a rumbling laugh which had you puffing your cheeks once more. 

“I am not. If I was tired I wouldn’t be going to play right now.”

“You are? What will you play?”

“It’s w-ah uh a secret! Yeah, it's a secret so I can’t tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Nope. So don’t bother asking me! Oh or uh-Grim either.”

The monster snorted running ahead to no doubt raid the fridge while Yuu was distracted with their guest. Malleus on the other hand was reluctantly setting you down, further intrigued by this secret of yours.

“Are you sure this secret is safe to play with all by yourself?” 

“Yup! I promised Yuu I wouldn’t interrupt your date this time.”

“Date? I was under the impression this was just ‘a hang out’.” You gave a sly smile as you put your hand on your hips. 

“Mmmh-mmmh that’s what you say now. But on the wedding day, I’ll say this is it.” 

Without another word you skipped into the forest, giggling to yourself as you imagined how cool you’d look on their wedding day. Malleus watched you leave turning to Yuu who was wrestling the cat-monster near the open door. 

“Be back before dinner!”

“Okay!” 

Malleus turned sending another glance over his shoulder. Perhaps you’d need someone to watch over you. Someone so innocent and small couldn’t possibly be expected not to attract unwanted attention. 

___________________________________________

 An orange hue decorated the leaves around you as you crawled into your special place. Going deeper into the dark cave you went into the darkness knowing full-well of the light emitted at the end of it.

“Hello, Sparkle-Fairy!” 

Just as you left her the princess fairy you had dubbed Sparkle-fairy was reclining on the makeshift abode you had made. With only the clear glass bowl you borrowed from Trey completing your ensemble. 

You kneeled down, scooting close as rested your head on your arms no doubt caked with mud and dirt. You tilted your head watching as the fairy did the same before turning away from you. Crowley’s words rang in your head and you did what Yuu had told you to do when you messed up. 

“I sorry for keeping you like this…” The fairy perked up. “I just wanted to be friends.”

You removed the glass from around the makeshift enclosure expecting to see the glowing creature fly right away. But instead, the fairy hovered moving closer to your face. The tinkling sound of the fairy’s native tongue rang in your ears, keeping your attention from the other tinkling voices entering the cave. 

“I don’t know what you’re saying…but I’d love to see your home!”

The princess fairy twinkled happily before blowing a glittery dust in your face. You sneezed and rubbed your nose before involuntarily yawning again. 

Of course with as small and as young as you are it’d take a small amount of fairy dust to put you to sleep. Making you perfectly pliable for what the fairies planned to do. Already snoozing, the fairies would have no trouble carrying off on their princess’ orders. That is if it weren’t for Malleus’ trusted guardian. 

“Now now where are you running off to with our little pup?”

Meat Cleaver in hand the retired general was smiling without reaching his eyes. He hoped that with his weapon unsheathed the fairies would have released you in an instant but it seems the princess was insistent on taking you. Who could blame them? A kiddie as sweet as you would have been a lovely find but he wouldn’t let his pup be taken from him.

Some chopped wings should be a good warning. 

He did just that and they settled you on the ground before his feet, twinkling apologizes all the while. In an instant, they were on their way carrying their injured companion along with them. Lilia smiled at your sleeping form cradling you despite your dirt-covered state, he couldn’t help but smirk at the distant glow of green. 

Young fae nowadays don’t seem to know not to mess with a dragon’s treasure. Let alone Night Raven’s as a whole.

“Yahoo, guess who fell fast asleep while making mud pies?”

“Aww thank goodness. It got so dark out I was so worried if it weren’t for you guys—”

“All in a day's work, prefect.”

“Yes, it was no trouble.”

Ah, Malleus has returned. And so soon. He figured he must have been merciful. Or maybe unusually giving.

_______________________________________

“So these are the fairies who tried to take them?”

“Master Malleus said so! You dare doubt him?!”

“Of course not I just figured the lizard would be so worked up he wouldn’t leave any for the rest of us.”

“You were lucky his mood has been immaculate since he’s fulfilling an invitation from the Ramshackle Prefect.”

“Whatever. Now should we pluck their wings or break their legs.”

“Only this once I’ll be following your lead.”

“Hmm alright then, Eyebrows. Let’s get to work.”

[flying-womrats]

replacements for a few LMS mods

If you think you saw this post yesterday, yes you did- then I made a couple edits and realized I should have done it under a readmore in case people reblogged it... So here we go again! These are the possible replacements I found for the littlemssam mods I was using, in case they help anyone else.

Caveats: - Often not a 1:1 replacement. - I only went looking for replacements for mods I was actually using, so this only covers a fraction of her catalog. - Most of these modders still use Curseforge, they're just not exclusive to it.

Additionally, if anyone knows of a replacement for any of the following: Go For A Walk, Improved Meditation Stool, Improved Practical Spells (the improvements to the spells themselves,) No Random Job Offers (I know BosseladyTV has one, but it's CF exclusive,) Purchased Items Delivered By Mail, Release All The Ghosts, or Tea For Children, please drop me an ask! I only request no Curseforge exclusives and no Zer0.

On to the list:

Allow Stoves in University Housing -> Zerbu, No University Housing Restrictions

Auto Employees -> Kuttoe's "X Everywhere" mods, Zerbu's Spawn Refresh

Auto-Light Fireplaces Only When Cold -> Bienchen, fireplaceautonomytweak

Buy Treats via PC -> Bienchen, buypettreat

Calendar Tweaks -> Kuttoe, Less Frequent Prom (caveat: takes time to start working, especially if you're using a longer season setting)

Cookbooks -> ClaudiaSharon, Cook Experimental/Cultural/Jungle Food Without Tasting It First

Immortality Potion Fix -> Kuttoe, Potions Rework (only a half replacement- removes the VFX, but doesn't lock aging like the Scarlet/LMS mod)

Kids Can Walk Dogs -> ChippedSim, Paws & Claws (A Sim's Best Friend module)

More Away Actions -> Bienchen, awayactions (is actually included in the LMS mod)

No Burning Sun in Forgotten Hollow -> TwistedMexi, Daywalkers + Underworlds (caveat: per TMex's comment on the latter, the eternal night is only cosmetic and still requires Daywalkers for vampires to come out at "daytime". Also, Daywalkers affects all worlds. Still interested in a mod closer to LMS's if one exists!)

No Insects Herbalism -> Simularity, Improved Herbalism Potions & Features

No Shoe Sign Animation -> Lotharihoe, Shoe Sign Animation Tweaks (doesn't remove the animation entirely but does stop it from interrupting walking)

No Sick, Dirty, Sad and Hungry Pets -> Bienchen, catanddogsanity

Pregnancy Overhaul ("sims can do more" part) -> Bienchen, pregnantsimscandomore

Pregnancy Overhaul (belly sizes) -> t0nischwartz, No Bump or sonozakisisterssims4, "The belly in pregnancy depends on the number of babies" (the former is simpler but has no equivalent to the "larger belly" option, the latter has a bit more going on but has direct equivalents to LMS's sizes, so take your pick!)

Sleep All Night and Sleep In -> Midnitetech- Stay Asleep, Mokunoid- Better Sleep Autonomy or Lot 51- Sunrise depending on desired depth/customization

Social Activities -> adeepindigo, Youth, Friends and Family Activities

Small GF Reactions Overhaul -> Bienchen, lesscelebreact

Small Laundry Overhaul -> Bienchen's laundry mods cover some (but not all- anyone have something to make it cost money on community lots?) of it, along with Lotharihoe's No Autonomously Set Laundry Down to replace the "auto put away laundry" part.

Spar With For Everyone -> Bienchen, sparwithfornonmilitary

Toddler Ask For Food No Junk -> Bienchen, healthyhighchair (not quite the same thing but it solves the "why do they always give the kid chips" issue at least)

WEE: Working Elevators Everywhere -> Ravasheen, Uplifting Elevators (space and wall height permitting, it's also possible to make no-CC elevators with the RoM debug portals!)

Wellness Treat Fix -> Bienchen, petanxiousbufffix

Also, while I wasn't using either of them myself, Meet&Mingle can replace SimDa Dating App, and Lovestruck adds a "canon" dating app (though given EA's complete lack of attention to QA etc. I wouldn't recommend paying for it.)

edit 6/26/24: added Sunrise, petanxiousbufffix, pregnantsimscandomore

edit 6/27/24: added No Bump, moved into a new post.

edit 6/29/24: added Daywalkers, No University Housing Restrictions (ty @northernnightsky!) and the sonozakisisters bump mod

edit 7/2/24: added Underworlds (ty anon), Paws & Claws, and a link to the tutorial I followed for no-CC elevators

edit 8/22/24: added Spawn Refresh

[frightwrite]

CW: Mention of mindbreak, stalking, dub con

Vampire!Yandere had been searching the ends of the earth for you. Since his previous darling who looked just like you had died, he has been obsessed with trying to find his lost love. Running into him that one fateful night wasn’t just a coincidence right? And you seemed so flustered when you had bumped into him, you must have felt it was fate too.

Vampire!Yandere who doesn’t waste any time stalking you. He wants to know everything about you! Your routine, what you like, what you dislike. The people you surround yourself with and if they’re a threat to your relationship. After all, you having anyone else to get in the way of your love is a big no-no in his book!

Vampire!Yandere that wouldn’t hesitate to drain the blood from men he thinks have been giving you a bit too much attention. He should be the only one to admire your beauty and no one else. It’s not fair that they get to freely interact with you during the daytime while he has to sulk in the shadows until the sun goes down. 

Vampire!Yandere who tries to get an excuse to talk to you more often. After learning your schedule, he’s quick to piece together “coincidences” where the few times you run into him during the night, he uses it as a way to build up your trust.

Vampire!Yandere that wants to keep you all to himself once you soon accept his invitation to visit his manor. What do you mean you want to go home? This is your home now, lovely! You leaving doesn’t make any sense when everything you ever need is with him.

Vampire!Yandere that slowly convinces you to love him and rely solely on him. He is very doting on you and doesn’t hesitate to shower with all the kisses and affection you crave after being trapped alone in his manor for so long. 

Vampire!Yandere who can’t get enough of your blood. Feeding on you has become one of his favorite pastimes and he has to remind himself not to take too much from you otherwise it would harm his darling and he didn’t want that at all! He basically becomes addicted to the taste of you and finds that cuddling you from behind, his face buried into your neck as he has his arms wrapped around your soft body is a pleasant way to relax.

[More Yanderes]

[daceydeath]

Not Like This

Pairing: Han x Reader Word Count: 3.9k Genre: Angst Warning: Swearing, Online Bullying

You had known the risks when you allowed your friendship turn into a relationship with Han. Dating an Idol was far from ideal never getting to go on normal dates, never going anywhere he might be recognized, lying to Stay that you were just part of their team. You knew the risks but he was worth it, at least you were mostly sure he was worth the risk.

You had met Han by total accident almost two years ago when he literally bumped into you while he was out shopping with Felix and Seungmin, spilling his coffee down the side of your top. At that time you had heard of Stray Kids but you weren't a proper fan. You had no idea who he was as he apologized again and again just thinking he was a cute but flustered boy. He had liked that, there was no pressure for him to be Han from SKZ he could just be Jisung and his members were just two friends laughing as he got flustered when you told him it was fine you could change when you got to work at the boutique in the mall. After convincing you to give him your number you had gone to work changing into your uniform and almost forgetting all about the incident until a text popped up reintroducing himself and asking if he could replace the shirt or at least buy you coffee.

That seemed like a lifetime ago now, you had been friends for a whole year before you could even admit to yourself that you had fallen for him and another six months before he confessed his feelings for you and you became a couple. Chan had sat down with the both of you to go over what dating as an Idol with their level of success was going to look like. No dates in the daytime only at night, no dates where anyone could recognize him, if you were out together it would be best if other members were with you, you would need to pretend to be staff if Stay started to ask questions and you could only go public with the relationship if the company allowed it. You hadn't loved the idea of sneaking around but you loved Jisung so you were willing to try and if all else failed you could hopefully go back to being friends again.

You had quickly gotten used to just having dates in the dorm, movies and take out, and visits to the company where you would either sit watching him practice or hang out in the studio with him while he wrote lyrics, composed songs and worked with his members. Han only came to your place when he was able to spend a day or two with you to limit the chances of people finding out where you live which was always special you could just kick back and relax with each other not needing to worry about anything in the outside world just the two of you in your own little bubble. But all that is peaceful cannot remain peaceful forever.

You were sitting in the studio watching them go through choreography for the upcoming world tour, it was going to be the first time you and Han were going to be separated for any real length of time and you were a little nervous about how it was going to go, for his part he had been trying to hide the tension he was feeling about it behind the stress of preparation but you knew him better than that. He had gotten clingier over the past few days asking you to be around him as much as you could and you had even taken a few days off work to do that but as you watched him practice your phone started beeping with a bunch of notifications.

"Could you put that on silent please?" their manager smiled at you not scolding you as much as asking.

"Of course I'm so sorry" you whispered, embarrassed that you had distracted everyone. Looking at your phone to silence it you saw messages from your friends and even a few from co-workers all linking an article to you, clicking it opened a gossip website with the headline 'Han Jisung dating staffer' and photos of the pair of you. In one he was only standing beside you but as you scrolled it became clear that someone had caught the pair of you.

"Fuck" you gasped almost dropping your phone when you got to a picture of him kissing your cheek and the hateful comments that accompanied the article.

"Baby? What's happened?" Han instantly appeared in front of you brow furrowed looking both concerned and confused. You handed him your phone which was still vibrating with notifications as he took it.

"Someone found out" was all you mumbled pulling your legs up to your chest and leaning your forehead on your knees. Han didn't say anything, he just handed your phone to Chan who had called a break the moment he saw you curl up on yourself.

"What's this?" he mumbled, taking the device from Han to hand it on to the manager to look at.

"I'm so sorry baby" Han whimpered, crouching down and engulfing you in a hug "But it will be fine it doesn't matter if people know about us".

"People knowing is one thing" you sniffed looking at Han with wet eyes "But the comments saying they want me to die, that I need to watch myself, that I'm just a slut who is going to ruin your career..." you trailed off the words dying in your throat as you swallowed thickly.

"They said what!" Han yelled, snatching the phone from his manager and scrolling to the bottom to look.

'It would be better if she just killed herself now, he's mine not hers'.

"Who does she think she is stealing my man like that, would be a shame if something happened to her'.

'If he leaves skz to marry her I'll find her and pour acid on her'.

"She's ugly and fat. Why would he want to be with her?'.

'This must be a joke like she could get him'.

'Bitch better hurry up and disappear before she fucks up Stray Kids'.

The comments kept flooding in, peppered with Stay defending you and wishing you well.

"We are going to have to issue a statement but I will have to speak with someone higher up first" their manager sighed softly looking saddened by what was being thrown at you.

"Don't worry we will make sure you are safe" Chan said seriously looking at you with gentle eyes as Felix sat beside you hugging both you and Han as you felt the first tear escape your eyes.

"How would they even get those photos?" Changbin asked incredulously "They are from the hallway of our dorms apartment block"

Collectively the kids decided to cut practice short and to try to help you both out, since you were trying your hardest to stop the tears flowing down your cheeks and Han was going into panic mode having not ever seen you look so shattered.

"How about we all go back to our dorm?" Minho suggested "we can sit down, have dinner and give everyone some time to figure out what we are doing" . His voice was soothing as he spoke, making you feel the icy fingers squeezing your heart stop clenching quite so hard.

"Great idea" Chan nodded as he began packing away Han's gear for him, leaving Han to do nothing but hold you and help you to stand up for the walk to the van. You looked at the others noticing the anger and shock on their faces.

"You should be rehearsing for the tour, not concerning yourselves with me" you sniffled.

"You are one of our family, we will always look after are family first" Chan smiled encouragingly at you.

"Besides, Hannie won't be able to do anything outside of looking after you now" Changbin soothed.

Han pulled the hood of the hoodie you were wearing over your head as you left the studio as he moved you towards the garage where the vans were waiting. Chan had both his and Han's gear, Felix had taken your phone back from the manager and was trailing behind you turning off your notifications so that you wouldn't keep getting updates from friends while Hyunjin and Seungmin were talking about the best way to hide you from the world. You just stayed silent your mind spinning with how everything was about to change, you had always thought eventually when you were both ready Han would have to make it public knowledge that you were together but you had always thought that stay would be supportive they were always supportive of everything the boys did, not paying attention you stepped into the garage and slid into the van you could hear them discussing something and Han getting angry but you couldn't get out of your own head so you just waited until his arms around you again.

"I'm so sorry baby, I love you" Han whispered again and again into your hair as he held you against his chest.

You didn't speak for the entire drive back and neither did anyone else. You were wondering what his company was going to do or say, what was going to happen once someone figured out who you were and where you worked or worse where you lived. Scenarios where you had to take time off work or move kept running through your head making your anxiety spiral despite Han's constant reassurance. Pulling up to the apartment block garage there were already press waiting making Han tense up further.

"They are going to close the garage doors before we exit the van so it looks like it's empty and waiting for us to come out of the dorm. Then the driver will park us right in front of the elevator and I will get out, once the door opens the rest of you pile out and straight in. Alright?" Chan instructed his voice stern but not enough for you to think it was directed at you. Nodding you just followed their lead, the clicking of cameras and the calling of names from both reporters and fans just background noise as you were shepherded between the van and the back of the elevator with the four of them acting as a human shield for you. You didn't want to think how many times they had practiced that to perfect it in the years since they debuted but you knew that there had been several instances where at least one of them had come under attack before.

Han led you through the hallway to the dorm door with Minho leading the way as though you might somehow have forgotten all the times you had been there before. His hand was squeezing yours in reassurance and yours squeezing his in acknowledgement as no words were uttered until you were all in the dorm.

"I'll speak to our manager again. Do you want to order the food?" Chan broke the silence looking at Minho.

"I'll order food, someone order snacks too please" Minho agreed.

"On it" Felix smiled, pulling his phone out to order you all the goodies he could think of.

"I think it's best if you either delete your socials for now or don't go on your phone" Hyunjin spoke quietly to you "It will help you not be exposed to too much".

"Yeah...thanks Hyunjinnie" you swallowed your voice hoarse.

"Here let me baby" Han offered, taking your phone and frowning when he saw the sheer amount of notifications on your apps "after this is over you will probably need to set up anonymous ones".

"After this is over I might not have social media" you replied dryly.

"Management are going to put out a statement saying that the article is incorrect and that legal action will be taken against any and all netizens throwing around hateful comments" Chan huffed "I think they want to talk to Han and you about whether to confirm or deny your relationship but first they are going to try to calm the comments down".

"You mean the ones where they want me to kill myself or the ones threatening to kill me?" You snapped before instantly looking guiltily up at Chan "Sorry I didn't mean to sound like that".

"It's completely fine, none of us are going to be mad at you, you're the one getting slammed with hate comments right now" Changbin interrupted "and we have all had that happen to us we know it's awful".

You sat silently while they all discussed things Han trying to find out if people had learnt who you were from one manager, Chan looking into hotels they could put you in where you could remain anonymous, Felix and gone down to pick up the delivery of snacks, which the security in the foyer agreed to just hand into the elevator so no one actually saw him.  You knew it was too early to be thinking this deeply over things, the entertainment industry was a hive of scandal. Something would appear in another day or two that would sweep this back under the rug but until then you were left to think the worst.

"Did you want to call one of your friends to get you some clothes and things? you will need to either stay in our dorm with us then maybe a hotel for a little while" Han suggested desperately trying to get you out of your head for a moment.

"Yes, I can do that" you nodded, picking up your phone to call the one friend who knew about Han, Hari, you wandered into the kitchen to give yourself some space as you called her.

"Oh my god are you alright? where are you?" she just about shrieked when she answered.

"I'm at the dorms" you replied sullenly "I'm alright-ish I guess".

"I was so worried about you, I went to your house to see if you were there and there were people all over the place" she continued sounding worried.

"Great" you hiccuped tears falling again as you lent against the kitchen counter facing away from the guys.

"I read the article and I read the comments, they are just jealous bitches" she tried to lift your spirits a little.

"What else have you read?" you gulped back a sob threatening to erupt from your throat.

"They know your name, and where you live they are outside your apartment block waiting" she admitted you couldn't hold it anymore as the first quiet sob came out followed by another then another as you slid to the floor before Han was at your side taking your phone.

"Hari?" he asked looking at you then back to the others panicked.

"Can you bring as much stuff you think she is going to need for a week. I'll come get it from you" he asked as Minho came and helped him get you off the floor.

"I will, but you look after her, Han Jisung" she warned as she hung up.

"Here, come sit and tell us what happened" Minho softly said while Innie  went to get you something to change into.

"They know who I am, they are outside of my house" you wept feeling stupid for being so upset by this but also being so overwhelmed you couldn't hold it in.

"Right, we will need you to stay here tonight, then we will get you into a hotel for at least a week while we get this sorted out" Chan nodded, still trying to get things in order.

"I'm so sorry Chan" you hiccuped "you guys are supposed to be excited to go on tour not dealing with my messes".

"Nonsense" Seungmin butted in grinning "like Chan said you are part of the family, part of the team and besides we like you more than him anyway".

"Seung, you do not like me more than Ji" you smiled faintly "you just like my cooking more than his"

"Facts" Jeongin yelled as he walked back in with the first part of the dinner delivery. Han looked relieved as the corners of you lips curled upward as Minho started serving up the food and making sure you got the best bits of everything he had ordered

"Now eat and then get some rest while we make sure we get this dealt with as easily as we can" Minho instructed handing you some chopsticks and your food without letting you argue. You sat on the couch with your food not really wanting to eat anything with the way your stomach was spinning but you tried anyway putting a small piece of beef in your mouth and chewing slowly to look like you were eating. Han sat so close he was touching you, Chan and Minho were both flicking texts and emails off and Hyunjin was on your phone making all your profiles private before silencing the apps and uninstalling them. You were feeling less like wallowing in fears and more yourself as the boys all talked about random things like movies, anime, games and stupid edits they had seen online.

"Here baby" Han whispered, taking your chopsticks and putting them aside so he could take over feeding you.

"You do need to eat" Hyunjin smiled softly "I know how hard it is with all this poison being thrown at you but you need to keep your strength up". Nodding you opened your mouth for Han to put another bit of food in you knew Hyunjin had been through a really hard time previously so he knew and you appreciated that he was trying to help you.

"I guess we need to figure out how to get back to the dorm?" Changbin asked quietly, not wanting to make you upset again.

"I'll swap rooms with Han" Felix replied between mouthfuls.

"Huh?" you blinked brows quirked in confusion.

"You and Han can stay here tonight, I'll go back with the boys then we swap back when we figure it out".

"Thanks man" Han whispered, still looking deeply troubled by what was happening.

"Thank you Felix" you sniffed, smiling a little at him "you're too kind to me, you all are".

"Han is family, you are family" Chan soothed looking at you as you opened your mouth for another mouthful of food, but shutting it quickly as your phone rang your eyes wide until you saw Hari's name.

"Hari?" you answered, swallowing hard.

"I have a bunch of stuff for you, like your essentials and clothes, did you want me to bring it to the boys dorm? Do you want me to take it to my place for someone to pick up?" She chirped into the phone, sounding hopeful.

"Um, I don't know, can I put Ji on to decide?" you stuttered as a hand took the phone out of yours.

"Hello Hari?" Minho spoke gently to your friend as she explained she had your things but wasn't sure how to get them to you "I'll send a manager to get them so everyone remains anonymous" he typed Hari's address into his own phone and thanked her again before handing the phone back to you.

"Why don't you go wash up one of us will get you some clothes to sleep in" Chan suggested taking in your haggard looking eyes.

You nodded, standing up and wandering down the hallway towards the bedrooms as bathroom, Felix following so that he could get you some towels and show you where his room was so he could grab you a shirt to sleep in and some of his sweatpants. Handing everything to you he opened the bathroom door and left you to your own devices. The hot water on your skin felt nice to begin with but after a while was scalding your skin, but you didn't move to turn the temperature down only to slide down the tiles to cry the last of the tears you had left to shed, you were sure that the company were going to tell you to separate and that you wouldn't see Han for a long time and it was killing you to think that you might have found your one only to have him ripped away from you by a third party. You didn't hear the door open or close and you didn't really even notice that the water had stopped but you could hear the pain that laced Han's voice as he spoke to you in hushed whispers.

"Oh baby, what have you done to yourself?" he whispered, helping you from the shower and wrapping you in the fluffy towel Felix had given you. He dried your reddened skin gently hoping it would return to your normal color and not become anything worse.

"I'm sorry Ji, I'm just so scared I'll lose you" you mumbled your throat dry from your hiccupping and sobbing.

"You will never lose me baby, I love you, only you" he hushed as he dressed you in Felix's clothes not loving the sight of you in them but grateful that Felix was trying so hard to help.

"But..."You continued.

"No buts, nothing on Earth would take me from you. I am yours" he soothed wrapping his arms around you to pick you up and carry you across the hall to Felix's room before laying you down. "I'm going to let the others know you are going to bed now and I'll be back in to cuddle you" he kissed your forehead softly then softly padded from the room.

You laid still on Felix's bed, it felt weird to be in another members room and clothes but you knew that the feeling would fade once you were in his arms hoping Felix could forgive you, you decided that is this was your last night with Han you were going to have to make it count even if he said he would stay beside you. You knew that if it came down to it and it was you or his career he would pick his brothers, his family, his Stay over you and you couldn't fault him for that he had worked so hard he shouldn't have to throw it away on just one stupid girl. You were still stuck in your head when he came back, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you to him tightly.

"I know you are lost in your head but I love you" he murmured "I love you so much, I will never stop loving you".

"I love you to Ji" you whispered back through the darkness of the room.

"Whatever you need to ease your mind tonight I will do" he continued his fingers combing through your still damp hair. You laid there quietly trying to focus on the feeling of his touch letting it dim the thoughts in your head

"I don’t want this to be our last night together" your whisper cracked as you admitted your fear to him. “I don’t know what I would do without you in my life”.

"It won't be our last night baby, we will have all the nights forever" he swore “There is no one else I am ever going to want to spend my life with, only you”. Rubbing his hand up and down your arm to soothe you, you clung tightly to him knowing that if you could stay awake you would get to at least keep the memories from the next few hours for the rest of your life if he ended up being taken from you, but your eyes were growing heavy with exhaustion and it was only a matter of time before the outside world would end up deciding what the rest of your life would look like.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading this my loves, this has been sitting in my wips for ages but I finally finished it. As always my world is made brighter by your likes, reblogs and comments xx

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz @armystay89 @damnyouficc @roamingpolar @tara-skyhold @bakedlilgoonie , @krishastumblernow , @mrsseals16 , @fawnpeaks @leeknowinggg @uno7 @tanzen-ist-gold

[awkwardauthorwrites]

Wildest Dreams - Part One

Word Count: 6.6k

Themes: fluff, pining

Summary: Ten years have passed since the events of Hogwarts Legacy and Y/N is invited back as part of a reunion to celebrate. 

Warnings: Potential spoilers for HL. All characters are aged up and around 25/26 years old

Dear Miss Y/L/N,

You are cordially invited to the ten year reunion of the events that marked you as the Hero of Hogwarts. We look forward to your attendance as our guest of honour, please RSVP at your earliest convenience. 

Y/N grimaced at the letter she had read time and time again, sorely regretting that she had allowed Poppy to talk her into attending. While it would be nice to see her classmates again, she wished it was under different circumstances - it didn’t matter how much time would pass since she defeated Ranrok and saved the school, she didn’t want to celebrate something that had taken such a significant piece from her that she could never get back.

She didn’t regret protecting Hogwarts, and inadvertently the rest of the world, but sometimes she did wish things had gone differently. Hogwarts had been her first real home and sometimes, in the middle of the night when she was alone with her thoughts, she just wished she had been able to attend as a normal student. From eleven like a regular first year with no ancient magic or goblins bent on wizard destruction. She still had people come up to her to thank her for her deeds and she hated it every time. She hated the handshakes, the tears, the praises they sang to her as they put her on a pedestal as if she were a Saint, as opposed to the terrified child she had been. She knew, of course, that they all meant well but Y/N couldn’t stand the constant daytime reminders of everything that caused her sleepless nights. 

“Are you excited?” Poppy asked from beside her, her voice soft as she broke Y/N from her thoughts. 

“That’s one word for it,” she muttered, stuffing the parchment back into her pocket. Despite her sour thoughts Y/N was excited for the reunion. Reminder of the worst time of her life aside, she was looking forward to seeing her classmates again, to catch up with them all and see what had become of their lives.

“I heard Imelda managed to get the night off from training with the Holyhead Harpies,” Poppy continued. “It’ll be nice to see her properly this time.”

“Without a dragon in between us, you mean?” Y/N smiled wryly at the memory. She didn’t think Imelda would ever forgive her for ruining one of the bigger matches of her career, but apparently saving a couple of dragon eggs from a group of poachers and returning them to their mother would do the trick.

“Yes, well, she did request we leave the dragon behind this time,” Poppy laughed as they made their way down the cobbled street. They dodged a few shoppers as they walked through Hogsmeade and expertly avoided the throngs of students who seemed to be everywhere but in class, considering it was the middle of the day.

“Sorry.” A tall, dark haired wizard walked by them, accidentally bumping into Y/N. He barely spared the pair a glance as he continued on, hands stuffed into his pockets.

“Sebastian?” his name fell from Y/N’s mouth before she could process it, and they both watched as he came to a stop and turned to face them. “Sebastian!” She shot forward, narrowly avoiding a student, and launched herself at him once she was close enough, her arms wrapping around his shoulders to pull him into a tight hug.

“Was that…?” Poppy trailed off, an unsure expression crossing her face as she watched the man walk away from them.

“Oof,” Sebastian had only just recognised the figure barrelling towards him before her body hit him. He took a step back to steady them and make sure they weren’t going to fall over before he wrapped his arms around her waist firmly. “Y/N, give a man a chance, will you?” he laughed, squeezing her affectionately.

“ShutupImissedyouyouidiot.” Her words were unintelligible as she mumbled into the crook of his neck, although he could feel her smile against his skin. His grip tightened in response, lifting her off her feet as he embraced her. 

“I missed you, too, sweetheart.”

“Sweetheart?” Y/N pulled back fractionally and narrowed her eyes at him playfully. “I see you’re still the charmer you were back in school.”

“Only for those I hold in the highest esteem.” He grinned down at her and finally loosened his clutch. “Hello Poppy.”

“Hello, Sebastian,” Poppy had a sly smile on her face as she watched the pair ease their hold on each other but made no move to let go. “How’ve you been?”

“Great, although I hear you’re both doing better than me,” he glanced back down at the woman in his arms. “Did you really take down Ratcliffe, one of the biggest poachers in the country? You just can’t stay away from trouble, can you?”

“Trouble can’t stay away from me, you mean. Nothing changes,” Y/N offered him a teasing grin, finally (and reluctantly) pulling herself from his arms. 

“Some things clearly do,” he murmured, eyes roaming down her figure. Although they occasionally sent owls to each other, it had been years since the pair’s last meeting. The lanky limbs and awkward persona from the girl he knew before was long gone, only to be replaced by soft curves and a gracefulness he couldn’t quite explain. “Look at you, all grown up.” And rather gorgeous, he noted. He grinned as she nudged him playfully, but was delighted to see a faint blush on her cheeks. 

“I’m not the only one who’s done some growing.” He had always been a couple of inches taller than her, but now her head just about came up to his shoulders. Rather broad ones, Y/N thought to herself, which paired nicely with the muscles she could see despite the jacket he was wearing.

“Shall I leave you two alone and come back later?” Poppy asked, breaking the pair from their trances. It was now Sebastian’s turn to flush as he looked down at the former Hufflepuff, who had also grown into a beautiful young woman even though he still towered over her.

“Come here, Sweeting,” Sebastian rolled his eyes at her, tugging her into a hug as well. Poppy laughed and patted his back before extracting herself from his hold. “What are you both doing here? Are you here for the reunion as well?”

“We are,” Poppy nodded. “We thought it would be nice to get here early and check in on the shop. Maybe take a walk around as well.”

“You have a shop?”

“We do,” Y/N nodded. “We bought the Brood and Peck a couple of years ago. All the beasts we save - magical or not - go there. Ellie Peck still does most of the management and finds them all good homes.”

“I thought it looked bigger,” Sebastian looked impressed, “did I see a shop in Diagon Alley too?” His smile widened as both Poppy and Y/N nodded bashfully. “Who would have thought, Poppy Sweeting and Y/N Y/L/N, a beast’s best dream and a poachers worst nightmare.”

“It was mostly Y/N’s idea, she couldn’t bear to release the creatures just for poachers to grab them again.”

“Stop it, Poppy. You know I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you.” Y/N’s face flushed at the praise and she turned back to Sebastian as her friend started to protest. “Please tell me you’re going tonight. I’m going to need all the friendly faces I can get.”

“Well now that I know you’ll be there, how could I say no? Should we make our way together?”

“We could, but I should probably warn you that we’re getting there ridiculously early. It seems I have the absolute pleasure of opening the doors to welcome everyone inside.”

“Ah yes, how could I forget I’m standing with our honorary guest?” 

“Don’t start.” Y/N was smiling, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes and he caught a flicker of emotion passing across her face before she could hide it. He remembered how much she had disliked the attention for saving the school in their sixth and seventh year, and even though a decade had passed since then it didn’t seem like that had changed much. “Where are you staying? I have a house on the outskirts of the village with more than enough room, if you want.”

“Ah, I’m over at the Three Broomsticks,” he nodded at the pub that was a couple of hundred feet from them. “I stopped by earlier for some lunch and when I told Sirona I was thinking of heading home in between to get ready she told me I had a room there if I needed and it was best not to fight her on it.” Although Sebastian rolled his eyes, the affection for the older witch was still visible in the smile on his face.

“Well, we can all meet for a drink before we go then,” Poppy suggested, looking so excited at the idea that Y/N and Sebastian didn’t have the heart to disagree with her. “Imelda and some of the others are going to be there before the reunion as well. Will Ominis be joining us?”

“No, he’s taking care of Anne. They both told me to say hello if I saw you. Anne said it’s been too long, and if I don’t bring you back for tea after all of this she will keep me away from my soon-to-be-born niece or nephew.”

“Oh, she told me she was expecting, but I’ve not had a chance to come see her yet. Are you excited to be an uncle?” Y/N grinned, her hand reaching out to squeeze Sebastian’s arm with such elation he could feel his heart flutter in his chest.

“I can’t wait to spoil them. I think Ominis has learned every child safety spell he can get his hands on,” Sebastian let out a quiet chuckle and slipped his hands in his pockets once more. “I still have a couple of errands I need to attend to for them, but I’ll see you both later at the Three Broomsticks?” The three of them made quick plans for when they were going to meet before Sebastian left them with a grin and a wave.

“That man couldn’t keep his eyes off you,” Poppy commented, nudging Y/N playfully. Y/N rolled her eyes and nudged Poppy right back, but couldn’t help to look over her shoulder at Sebastian, who was currently doing the same thing. Y/N couldn’t read his expression from this far away, but she did catch the slow smile that formed on his face and couldn’t help but to smile back, her heart thumping in her chest.

*~*~*~*~*

Y/N looked up at the Three Broomsticks, the hood of her cloak protecting her from the light rain that had started. She fiddled nervously with the lace of her dress as she waited patiently for Poppy - who had stopped to pet a cat she had seen - to catch up. She felt out of place, and not just because she was standing in front of the pub in a ball gown that was fit for a castle in one of the novels Poppy loved to read. Although, Y/N mused, she supposed she was on her way to said castle. She sighed and smoothed down the fabric of her forest green skirts, wishing she was in her usual attire of a tunic and light pants (fighting poachers while wearing a corset and heavy skirts did not go well the last time).

Y/N looked back down the street, the last of the light fading as the sun set behind the hills. At this rate she could make her escape before Poppy would even notice and she weighed the pros and cons of not attending in her head for what felt like the hundredth time. Imelda would likely hunt her down if she didn’t attend, and she didn’t particularly feel like battling the witch tonight. Sebastian would forgive her - in fact, she could even owl him to see if he wanted to scrap the whole event with her. Anne had been hounding her to come round for tea and she would much prefer to see her and Ominis than to be paraded in front of her old peers like a prized calf. With a low groan Y/N dragged her feet into the pub, deciding the least she could do while she waited for Poppy was to get warm and have a chat with Sirona. 

The Three Broomsticks hadn’t changed much since Y/N had first stepped inside all those years ago, practically glowing from defeating her first troll with Sebastian by her side. The smell of butterbeer and burning logs greeted her and a familiar warmth that had nothing to do with the fires burning in their hearths ran from her head to her toes. Sirona had added a couple of new booths over the years, as well as a particularly comfortable pair of armchairs that were placed next to one of the fireplaces.

“Do my eyes deceive me?” Sirona had a large smile on her face as she dried her hands. “Is that Y/N Y/L/N in my pub? Where’s your other half?” Y/N couldn’t help but laugh as Sirona rounded the bar and pulled her into a hug.  

“Poppy saw a cat. You know how she is,” Y/N released the older witch and let Sirona look her over as she removed her cloak.

“Well, I’d ask what kind of trouble you’ve both been in since I last saw you but…” she glanced at the still-healing scar that ran from Y/N’s eyebrow across to her temple. “Is that one waiting for you?” she gestured with her head to the man that was sitting in one of the armchairs by the fireplace, and Y/N realised that it was Sebastian. He looked to be deep in thought as he stared into the flames.

“He is,” Y/N turned back to Sirona with a smile. “Could I trouble you for three glasses of firewhiskey?”

“On the house,” Sirona winked at her and made her way back behind the bar just as Poppy walked into the pub. She waved hello at Sirona and came to stand by Y/N’s side, her gaze landing on Sebastian as well. 

“Well, he’s certainly not the same boy we went to school with,” Poppy muttered. Y/N couldn’t help but murmur back in agreement. He had been considered attractive back at school (and knew it), but now…Y/N couldn’t help but appreciate how devastatingly handsome he looked in his dress robes, the warm glow from the fire lighting his face. Sirona placed the three glasses on the table next to him, breaking him out of his thoughts, and he finally looked up with a smile as he took note of both the girls.

“There you both are, I was beginning to think you had forgotten all about me.” He stood to greet them with a smile and looked between the pair, his eyes lingering on Y/N. There was an unreadable expression on his face as his eyes roamed over her dress slowly until he finally met her gaze. He was vaguely aware that his staring was bordering on indecent when the door opened again and a large, rather loud, group walked in. Poppy looked between the pair, a small smirk on her face when she caught the matching telltale flush on their faces. She filed the thought away for later when she could get Y/N alone and turned to look at the group who had just walked in, her smile widening when she caught sight of Imelda.

“Kneazle caught your tongue?” Y/N cocked her head to the side, a teasing smile on her face.

“It’s entirely your fault for looking so ravishing tonight,” Sebastian caught her hand in his and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before handing her one of the glasses of firewhiskey. Y/N couldn’t help but laugh quietly and reach up to straighten out his tie. 

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Mr Sallow.” She gave him a coy smile as her hand lingered on his chest for longer than necessary, feeling the telltale thump thump thump of his heart. A voice calling her name from behind them broke their stares and Y/N let her fingers trail down his chest slowly as she turned to walk away. 

“Have you got nothing to say to me, then?” Imelda met Y/N halfway, eyebrows raised and arms crossed. 

“It’s good to see you again, Imedla,” Y/N pulled the girl in for a hug, who laughed in response.

“Yes, it’s much better seeing you here on the ground, instead of interrupting my match by riding a dragon. Honestly, Y/L/N, if you wanted to come see me at one of my games all you had to do was ask.”

“You rode a dragon?” Sebastian finally seemed to snap out of his stupor and took a couple of steps forward to greet his former housemate. 

“I had to get your attention somehow, didn’t I, Reyes?” Y/N shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as Sebastian stood by her side. 

“Showing up in that dress would have worked just as well,” Imelda’s eyes roamed over her appreciatively. “Green has always looked best on you.”

“I’ll bear that in mind for next time.” Even though the wink wasn’t aimed at him Sebastian felt his mouth go dry and quickly took a sip of firewhiskey to chase away the fluttering feeling in his stomach. He lingered by Y/N’s side as they caught up with Imelda and a couple of their former school mates, his arm brushing against hers every-so-often in a way that made his face burn. Sebastian decided he would blame the firewhiskey if anyone (especially Imelda) tried to call him out on blushing like a first year every time his hand brushed past hers.

“To our saviour!” Leander Prewett called out, raising his glass in Y/N’s direction. A couple of the others followed suit, not noticing how uncomfortably still Y/N had gotten as she glanced around the room. Y/N felt her skin prickle as a few people turned to openly stare at her, expressions varying between awe and gratitude. She offered them a tense smile as Poppy shot Leander a glare and tugged his arm down, whispering harshly at him as he sipped from his glass. 

She could feel her chest tighten at the attention and willed herself not to scream at them all that she didn’t deserve their praises. That she wasn’t a saviour, she had just gotten lucky. It had taken Y/N far too many sleepless nights to come to terms with what had happened to her under the castle, and even longer to fully grasp that it wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t save everyone. Moments like these - with people muttering about how she was a hero - made her feel like a fraud.

“Hey.” Sebastian felt Y/N jump slightly as he placed a hand on her lower back gently. “Come with me?” He set their empty glasses down before leading her to the door, only stopping to grab their cloaks as he led her outside. Thestrals were tethered to a carriage a couple of feet away from the pub, the Hogwarts emblem carved onto the side - no doubt meant to take Y/N up to the castle for the event. “Are you still with me?”

“Just about,” Y/N’s eyes flicked up to meet his as he draped her cloak around her shoulders and fastened it for her. “How did you know?”

“You had that look on your face you used to get in our sixth year.”

“I didn’t realise you paid that much attention to me.”

“How could I not?” The corner of his mouth lifted up in a barely perceptible smile as he brushed a stray hair from her eyes. His fingers lingered on her jaw before gently tilting her face to his. 

“You’re a rake, Sebastian Sallow.” She narrowed her eyes at him playfully, a smile falling on her painted lips. Sebastian had the overwhelming urge to close the gap between them and kiss her but managed to restrain himself and settled for pulling her body closer to his.

“You say rake, I say dashing rogue, who’s to say which one of us is right.” Y/N laughed quietly and brought her hands up to rest on the lapels of his jacket. “Either way, I can’t help but to be charming in the presence of such a stunning woman.”

“Is that what you say to all the pretty ladies you meet?”

“Just the one.” Y/N’s fingers tightened around his jacket at his words, at the look in his eye. She wanted nothing more than to pull him into a searing kiss she had imagined more times than she could count but refrained, unsure of his reaction. “What are you thinking about?” Sebastian brushed her cheeks gently, his face inching closer to hers.

“Whether we should make our escape or not.”

“Do you not want to attend anymore?”

“I didn’t particularly want to attend to start with.”

“Do you want me to get you out of here?” He looked so concerned for her wellbeing that Y/N felt her heart crack in her chest. How long had it been since someone had taken care of her? Of course, Poppy was always around to patch her up with things that went south against the poachers but even she didn’t know how deep the internal wounds went. Or if she did, she never commented on it.

“No, not yet. I think Imelda would hunt me down and drag me back, anyway.”

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Y/N. I’ll fight Imelda myself if I have to.”

“You would fight Imelda ’The Muscles’ Reyes for me?”

“Darling, I don’t know how to make it any clearer that I will always fight anyone who tries to harm you.”

“My hero,” Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes, a laugh bubbling up as she took in his mock affronted expression. She leant up to press a gentle kiss to his cheek, mindful not to get any lipstick on his face. The arm around her waist tightened fractionally, holding her in place against him as he processed what had just happened. “Sebastian?”

“Hold on, I’m trying to remind myself that you’re one of my closest friends and if I kissed you like I really want to right now you would probably punch me.”

“You want to kiss me?”

“Always.” He made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” The door flew open before Sebastian could question her further and both Poppy and Imelda came to a stop when they took note of how close the pair were standing.

“Are we interrupting something?”

“Not anymore,” Sebastian sighed. He brushed a thumb down Y/N’s spine gently, a silent gesture that they would be continuing this conversation later away from prying eyes, and reluctantly released her. “Is Imelda joining us up to the castle?”

“Someone had to come along so Sweeting wasn’t a third wheel,” Imelda shot a wicked grin at Y/N and made her way over to the carriage. The footman jumped down to help the women in first, only climbing back up when Sebastian insisted on closing the door himself. The carriage started to pull away before he could get fully seated which resulted in him falling into his seat next to Y/N, his body pressed against hers in a way that frayed his nerves.

“Oof. There’s no need to throw yourself at me like that, Seb. There are other ways to get my attention,” Y/N playfully pushed him away from her.

“You mean like earlier when you tackled me and nearly sent us both to the ground?”

“You weren’t exactly protesting when you clung into me like a niffler with gold.”

“What can I say, I seem to have a penchant for pretty women.”

“You’re both disgusting,” Imelda cut in. She tried to frown at the pair, but there was an obvious smile playing on the corners of her mouth. “If you both are going to flirt the whole way there I’d rather walk.” 

“At least you didn’t have to watch them earlier when we first saw Sebastian,” Poppy adds with a laugh. “I might as well have not been there.”

“You’re both welcome to walk the rest of the way to the castle,” Y/N raised her eyebrows at the pair and tried to fight the blush that was rising to her face.

“I’m sure you and Sallow would love it if we left you alone,” Imelda remarked dryly. 

“Alright you,” Y/N laughed and rolled her eyes. “I forgot how needy you two are when you’re together. I love all three of you equally, I promise.” Protests erupted from the two girls in front of Y/N and she listened in amusement as they started to bicker about which one she preferred.

“I’d like to add my own two sickles in to say I’m offended at being placed in league with Reyes,” Sebastian leant in, his voice low so as not to attract any attention. “We all know I’m your favourite.”

“Are you?” Y/N turned her head up to give him a teasing smile, only to jolt slightly when she realised how close his face was to hers. She heard his voice echo in her head, the pure sincerity as he had said he always wanted to kiss her. It could have just been one of his lines, but it still made Y/N’s stomach flutter and a blush rise to her face. She was thankful that the carriage was dimly lit and no one could call attention to her red cheeks.

“You’re a cruel, beautiful woman.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N rolled her eyes at him and turned to look out of the window so he couldn’t see the smile on her face. The carriage rolled through the north entrance to the castle, skirting round the fountain that lay in the middle of the courtyard and came to a gentle stop outside the doors. Sebastian climbed out before the footman could grab the door for them and helped the girls out, his hand lingering on Y/N’s after she was back on solid ground. A small part of him had been worried he had gone too far when he told her he wanted to kiss her, but the small blush that seemed to appear on her face whenever he stood too close made him wonder. Could she possibly want him as much as he wanted her?

The doors swung open before they could step forward, revealing the inner halls to the group and Y/N felt a rush of warmth come from within the castle gently caress the magic inside of her. It felt like greeting an old familiar friend, as if Hogwarts was saying welcome home. Y/N looked at the entrance hall in front of her as a million memories flashed through her mind. From the first time she walked through these doors with Professor Fig by her side, to returning from her battle with Rookwood while clutching an injury she had sustained to her side (which had left her with a scar). She saw flashes of laughter with everyone she had been friendly with at school, from Poppy to Imelda to Natty, Garreth, Ominis, and finally Sebastian. Hundreds of moments with Sebastian flew through her mind - laughing with him, sneaking into the restricted section, sneaking out of the castle, meeting up in the Undercroft. She had heard people say it since she had left school, but Hogwarts was, and always would be, her home. 

“Are you coming, Y/N?” Poppy’s soft question brought her back to the present, where the three of them had already made their way through the doors and were waiting patiently for her. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking if she wanted to get out of there. She shook her head at him with a small smile and walked towards them, holding her skirts in one hand. 

“Yeah, I am.” The group made their way through the familiar halls in semi-silence and Y/N couldn’t help but remember how nervous she had been the first time, when she had been late to her own sorting. The ever-present pang of pain flickered as she thought of Professor Fig and how kind he had always been to her. 

“Ah, there you all are,” Professor Weasley stood in front of them, a large smile on her face as she pulled each of them into a hug. “It’s so good to see you all again.”

“Likewise, Professor,” Poppy’s excitement was infectious and Y/N soon found her dark thoughts scattering as she took a look around the Great Hall. 

“Matilda, please. You’re not students anymore.”

“Might take some getting used to,” Imelda pulled a small face but laughed quietly nonetheless, quickly excusing herself as she spotted their old flying teacher. Poppy trailed after her, unable to hide her eagerness to talk to Professor Howin. Professor Weasley (Matilda, Y/N reminded herself) looked between her and Sebastian casually, taking note of how close the two stood next to each other. 

“How have you been, Prof - Matilda?” Sebastian asked, saving Y/N from making awkward conversation. “Are the current students just as chaotic as we were?”

“I don’t think anyone could cause as much trouble as you did, Mr Sallow.” There was a teasing smile on the older witch’s face as she ran her eyes over Y/N, taking note of a few new scars that littered her arms (and the still-healing one on her face). “How are you holding up, Miss Y/L/N?”

“Y/N is fine, especially if we’re to call you Matilda,” Y/N forced a smile on her face and shuffled on her feet nervously. “I’m doing fine, no rest for the wicked as they say.” 

“Hm…I hope you’re making sure she’s taken care of, Mr Sallow.”

“Oh, we all try. I’m sure you remember how stubborn she was in school though.” Sebastian shot Y/N a cheeky smile in hopes that the teasing would loosen her up. She rolled her eyes back and nudged him gently. 

“I can take care of myself.”

“No harm in letting others help,” Matilda smiled to herself as she watched her former students interact with each other. It had been painfully obvious to all the staff that the two were meant for each other when they were back in school and it looked like they still hadn’t quite worked that out for themselves yet. “Anyway, are you ready, Y/N?” 

“Ready for what?”

“To dance. Surely someone has informed you that you would be opening the festivities tonight with a dance?”

“No…no they did not.” Y/N slid her eyes shut in annoyance, her stomach churning with nerves. Maybe it wasn’t too late to say she wasn’t feeling very well and just leave? Surely if she threw up like she wanted to that would buy some points in her favour.

“Oh…well now you know.” Matilda fussed with her hair and glanced around awkwardly. “I’m sure Headmaster Black wouldn’t mind being your partner for the evening.” I would rather battle Ranrok again, Y/N thought to herself, this night cannot get any worse.

“There’ll be no need for that, Professor Weasley,” Sebastian grasped Y/N’s elbow lightly, an easy smile on his face. “I’ll lead Y/N for the dance.” 

“Oh…thank you, Mr Sallow.” Y/N could have sworn the corner of Matilda Weasley’s mouth twitched up as she looked between her and Sebastian, but the smile was gone as quickly as it appeared. “It looks like others are starting to arrive so we shall start soon.” With that she quickly turned and walked away to greet some students who had just entered the hall, leaving Y/N and Sebastian behind. 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Sebastian shrugged and turned to face her. “It saves you from having to dance with Black and I get an excuse to hold you close. There’s no losers this way.” He bit back a smile as he watched her look away from him nervously, the same pretty blush coming to her cheeks. He didn’t know if she was flustered because she wasn’t used to the attention, or because the attention was coming from him, but Merlin did he hope it was the latter. 

“You won’t feel that way when I step on your feet. I’m a horrible dancer.”

“And here I was thinking there was nothing you couldn’t do.” He brushed his fingers along her hand subtly to get her to look back at him. “Lucky for you, I’m an excellent dancer.”

“There’s plenty I’m not good at,” Y/N disagreed and tore her eyes away from the crowd of students who had just walked in. Leander was amongst the group and if she looked at him for a moment too long all she could hear was him calling out a toast in her name and it simultaneously made her want to throw up and punch him.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” He watched as she fiddled with her fingers anxiously, her eyes darting around the room as more of their former school mates began to trickle in and wanted nothing more than to whisk her away from it all. He didn’t understand why she was subjecting herself to this when she clearly wanted nothing more than to be away from here. 

“If I could have your attention, please,” Phineas Black stood at the top of the room where the staff table would usually be, an orchestra in its place. “I would like to welcome you all to the ten year anniversary of our very own Y/N Y/L/N saving our school.” He gestured towards her and Y/N wished the ground would swallow her whole as they all turned to face her. “If our Hero of Hogwarts would like to make her way over we can officially start this reunion with the opening dance.”

Y/N placed her hand in Sebastian’s and let him escort her to the middle of the dance floor, her heart skipping a beat as she squeezed her hand reassuringly. He turned to face her with a small bow, a cheeky smile on his face as he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. Y/N narrowed her eyes at him playfully but couldn’t help to smile at his antics. 

“You can do this,” Sebastian murmured, pulling her close as the music started. She placed one hand on his shoulder as his own came to rest on her waist, eyes darting to the crowd that surrounded them.

“Everyone’s staring,” Y/N mumbled.

“Just keep your eyes on me, I’ve got you, darling.” Her eyes snapped up to meet his at the term of endearment only to see his eyes were already on hers, a teasing smile on his face. He started to lead her into a waltz, standing a little closer than needed so he could continue to speak to her.

“You’re being far more charming than you usually are.”

“How could I not when you turn the prettiest shade of pink every time?”

“You’re a rake.”

“You know, that’s twice you’ve said that now and I have to disagree.” He placed both hands on her waist as the music swelled and lifted her briefly. “If I were a rake, I’d be flirting with every woman I met.”

“You've been flirting this whole time? I never would have guessed.”

“Don’t start,” he rolled his eyes at her and tugged her closer, leaving no space between them.

“You could have given me some warning, maybe I would’ve liked to flirt back.”

“Now that I would pay to see.”

“What are you implying, Sallow?”

“I’m not implying anything,” he chuckled and span her in a gentle circle before tucking her back in place against him, “I’m just saying it’s usually me who flirts and showers you with compliments.”

“I didn’t think you needed me to tell you how good looking you are.”

“Probably not,” he shot her a devious grin, “but it would be nice.”

“Do you want me to start now?” Y/N lowered her voice considerably, her arm leaving his shoulder to wind around his neck and pull him impossibly closer. “Would you like to hear about the thoughts that ran through my mind earlier when I saw you in the Three Broomsticks?” she murmured in his ear. She felt him falter slightly as he led her and laughed quietly, her thumb brushing the back of his neck gently. “I don’t think you could handle hearing the way I think about you.”

“Think about me often, do you?”

“Always.” She pulled back slightly so he could see the serious look on her face as she repeated his early words with just as much conviction. The sound of applause startled them both slightly, and Y/N belatedly remembered there were other people in the room watching them dance indecently close to each other. Sebastian brushed a thumb down her spine again, signalling that their conversation would be tabled for later. He led her off the floor and towards Imelda, Poppy and Natty, who all wore matching wicked grins as the pair neared.

“Well I don’t know about you two but I feel positively scandalised at that display,” Imelda teased as they walked within earshot. 

“Jealous, Imelda?” Y/N offered her friend her own sly smile. “I’m sure I can make time for you later if you feel left out.”

“Depends, does Sallow share?”

“Absolutely not,” Sebastian tightened his grip on Y/N’s waist, which he had yet to release. “You’ll need to find your own dance partner, Reyes.”

“I’m sure Prewett would love to join you,” Y/N added. Sebastian shook in silent laughter from next to her as Imelda glared at the pair of them. 

“On that note, since I know how much you hate being the centre of attention - are you ready to accept your award?” 

“My what?”

“Imelda! It was supposed to be a surprise!” Natty chastised her.

“Well, I’m glad I told her because she looks like she’s going to be sick.” The Scottish witch wasn’t wrong, Y/N could feel her stomach start to churn and the lingering buzz from dancing with Sebastian disappeared. She didn’t deserve an award for what had happened. Poppy gave her a concerned look as Imelda and Natty started to bicker about ruining the surprise, although Y/N was too far gone in her thoughts to realise. Echoes of what she had been through flashed through her mind, but there were no good thoughts sprinkled within this time. All she could see was Ranrok in his strange dragon form as she fought him, followed by Professor Fig lying on the floor and dying by her side.

“Hey,” Sebastian took hold of Y/N’s elbow gently and leant in to whisper in her ear. “Let’s go. No arguments this time.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere. Everywhere. Just say the word and I’ll make it happen.” She looked up at him, panic still lingering in her gaze along with such pure agony that Sebastian could feel his heart shatter. 

“Let’s go.”

Part Two

[doomhope]

Moon rising as the Sun sets below the horizon, tapestry by Michael Crompton

[ID: Woven tapestry depicting a white river through a landscape of green hills. A small pink moon is visible in the dark sky. The sun is also present, depicted as a large circle of bright daytime colors below the landscape with tendrils of yellow, orange, and red on the outer edges of the circle blending in with the smooth curves of the hills. The texture of the entire piece is scored with even rows of waves spaced to create small oval bumps. End ID]

[seat-safety-switch]

Rust is my most hated nemesis. I have stared more than once into the crumbling mess of red death that was, long ago, a pristine steel panel. Many evenings have been spent cutting out rust, only to find more rust, and cutting out that rust only to find yet more rust. Everything on my car is actively trying to return to the earth, but I won't let it.

Maybe you're lucky enough to only own new cars, or so absolutely fortunate that you live somewhere that cars don't rust even when they get scratched. If that's the case, you can pretend that the rest of this story is actually talking about croissants. Croissants are delicious, rich, and buttery, and I'd probably have learned how to make them myself if I didn't spend what my Daytimer® estimates is three-quarters of my waking life fixing body and structural rust on my harem of shitbox cars.

For years, car folks have been lured by a series of snake-oil paints, oils, dyes, dips, and other formulations that promise to help prevent rust. Virtually all of them are horseshit: elaborate scams produced by an industry that knows they have a desperate customer, just like parachute companies. The most effective rust prevention is to hose your car down with lanolin, which is a sort of wax you make by crushing up sheep. It works well, but the trick is doing it every year, forever, perfectly, until you miss a spot and your car disintegrates at highway speed, like a sand castle being hit by an errant volleyball.

If you talk to someone rich, they propose simply driving a bad car in the winter, and keeping your good cars cooped up. This is impossible for me: not only do I have exclusively what the rich would call "bad" cars, but I feel shrieking agony every time I am destroying any vehicle at all through my carelessness and malice. That is, of course, unless I am racing the car, in which case it is understood by all involved that dying in battle is the most noble way for the car to ascend to Valhalla. There is no honour in scrapping a car because the rear subframe prolapsed on your way to work, so I enter my most precarious vehicles in ice racing in order to give them a good end-of-life experience.

Unfortunately, it turns out that the gaping rust holes reducing the weight of the chassis, and my devil-may-care attitude bumping rivals off the lake in fact is the secret formula to produce winning race cars. Now, I'm not as rich as your Inoues or your Sennas, but the $50 gift certificates to the local tire place really add up. I hear they've got anti-rust underbody spray, which seems like a good thing to do to whatever chunks of cars I can frantically weld together this summer in the few weeks before the leaves turn again. The cycle of life.

[zapernz]

Anakin wearing a collar HSHSGSGHS, he wore it a lil too tight on purpose when youre gone in a long mission and he misses you real bad. He struggles to hide it underneath his robe, its stupid!! and it would be embarassing if someone sees, but he misses you so badly :(( so his goal were to only have it taken off by you. He never took it off. He trains with it, sit in council meetings with it, sleep. (ok maybe its unrealistic but like) and you would be on his mind the whole time, not like you havent already.

weeks passed till he have you back with him again, picture this, yall hugging eachother and your arms wrapped around his neck, so romantic!! then you feel a cold bump instead of his warm skin. take a lil peek - TADAAA. "anakin?" and he looks at you with teary eyes. Prolly left marks from how long and tight he wore it, marks from how it digs to his skin esp if its out of leather, shows just how much he misses you. UGHH WHAT THE FUCK😿😭 gonna be so gentle to him that night.

ugh nonnie i love you bro

cw; collars

anakin had begged you to get him a daytime collar, he couldnt stand the feeling of not being collared by you at all times, with hesitation, you got him one, it was small and discrete and hid under his robes, exactly what he needed.

however you were out of a mission that just got extended by a week, anakin missed you so much, this stupid daytime dainty collar wasn’t cutting it, and wasnt going to cut it, so by himself unprompted puts on his other collar, the heavy one, the prominent one, the one thats says, im owned. instant relief washes over him as he puts it on himself, hes never put it on himself, but he had to imagine you putting it on him to make it feel right.

after that day he wore it nonstop, he wore an extra turtleneck under his robes to hide the accessory, he wore it out on little missions he was assigned to here and there, in meetings, training with various partners, he wasnt going to take it off.

a week finally passed and you couldnt wait to see anakin, and get him in your arms, kiss him again, you open the door to his quarters, where he immediately embraces you, “hi baby i missed you” you start another sentence when he burries his face in your neck making you feel something noticeable. something youve felt before, surely not, why would he have it on?

you pull away hesitantly, he gulps, he knows you know, he broke a rule, he’s done for, his eyes automatically start welling, you peal down the turtleneck, and there it was. in shock you ask “why do you have that on ani? how long have you had this on? oh baby.”

tears start falling down his cheeks, “i jus missed you n needed it, ive had it on all week” he stammers out the last part. “all week?! anakin!!” you hands immediately fumble to take it off, then his shirt to properly assess the damage, “oh honey” you say sympathetically, “go lie down mkay?”

he nods and lies down while you grab various items to help the damage done, you sit next to him applying the items you have, he’s looking at you teary eyed, “dont cry baby its okay im here, im not upset or mad, but its not safe to keep that on for that long okay?” you say softly.

he sniffles and nods, pulling you into him so he can cuddle you, “okay baby, okay you have me its alright” you coo while you stoke his face to calm him down.

[tightjeansjavi]

a drabble of joel rolling a joint then holding it to my mouth to inhale plEASE goD I BEG YOU

anything for my dear Mya ♡

A/N: baby gets what baby wants 😤 This was 100% self indulgent and I have nothing to be sorry for lol

~word count: 2.8k~

Summary: after a long day patrolling Jackson, Joel asks you to come over for a nightcap and a smoke. You eagerly agree.

Warnings: smut, fingering, praise kink, pet names, good girl, teasing, flirting, banter, sexual tension to the max level, Joel is an expert flirt, begging, paraphernalia, puff puff pass, mentions of drinking, doing drugs, dubious consent/consent under the influence, Joel and the reader almost get caught by Ellie, dirty talk, filth, NSFW, +18 minors dni!

When your patrol partner; Joel Miller, asked if you wanted to come back to his place to have a nightcap and a smoke, your brain barely registered your lips moving at the lightning speed to immediately say yes to his generous invitation.

His brow raised in your direction when you eagerly responded to him. Albeit, it was an incredibly long day so he expected you to be more willing than if it were any other occasion.

Leaves crunched under your in-sync boot steps. The sun was beginning to set along the horizon, turning the sky into brilliant hues of dark purple, magenta, and orange. Fall sunsets were your favorite, especially with Halloween steadfast approaching. The air held a slight chill that had you wrapping your arms around your body, hugging yourself gently.

Joel chuckled at this and had half the mind to offer you his jacket; but he didn’t want to cross a line. He unlocked his door to his cozy abode that he shared with Ellie. You’d been in Joel’s home a handful of times but only in the daytime. Seeing it at night was a whole new experience. The fading sun casted warm shadows over the furniture that inhabited the living room. The sage green couch pushed up against the wall and it appeared to already be well-loved.

“Go on and make yourself at home. You wanna have anythin’ to drink? Got whiskey..and more whiskey..” he chuckled warmly as he hung up his coat and rifle along the back hook on the wall alongside the door.

You could see the muscles beneath his well-worn flannel clench with the mundane movement. Jesus Christ, you were screwed.

“I’ll have a splash of whiskey, thank you.” You bent down, unlacing your boots and set them alongside his before hanging up your coat. You sank down into the couch with a content sigh as he grabbed two glasses from the kitchen. “Hey, Joel? Is Ellie not in tonight?”

“Nah. She’s at Dina’s havin’ a sleepover. She’s practically livin’ there at this point. Nice girl, makes El happy and that’s all I really give a damn about, y’know?” He popped the cap off the bottle of whiskey with his teeth, pouring a decent glass for himself, and a little more than a splash for you.

“They’re really cute together. Never seen your kid smile that much, except when she’s around Dina.”

“Yeah tell me ‘bout it.” He gave you his signature grin as he sat down alongside you, knees bumping into each other as he handed you your glass. He lightly clinked his glass against yours before he took a hefty sip. “Jus’ nice that she’s gettin’ to live a normal life now. S’all I really ever wanted f’her.”

You gave him a little grin over the rim of your glass as they taped together. You took a generous sip, sinking further into the couch cushions. “She’s really lucky to have you, Joel.”

He chuckled as he set his glass alongside the coffee table before grabbing a tin box that rested comfortably inside one of the coffee table drawers. You casually watched him pull out a jar of weed, and some fresh rolling papers. “I think it’s honestly the other way around fo’me. I’m really lucky t’have her. You wanna roll this one, or do you want me to do it?” He looked over at you casually watching the way your lips rested along the rim of the glass.

“I actually don’t know how to roll..you wanna teach me? When’s the last time you even rolled a joint, old man.” You teasingly asked as you lightly shoved his shoulder.

“You ain’t ever rolled before? Well, my dear, you’re in luck because I happen to know how to roll some of the tightest joints your pretty eyes have ever had the pleasure of feasting upon.” He declared with a subtle wink. “I ain’t that old sweetheart. Don’t let the gray fool ya. Last time I rolled one of these babies was..come to think of it, can’t remember. Probably back in my college days. Tommy though? He never stopped.”

“Hmm. You think you still got it in you Miller?”

“Me? Absolutely. It’s like ridin’ a bike.” He laid the paper out as he leaned over the table, grabbing a few small nuggets of marijuana and sprinkled it onto the paper. “Y’know, I’m really surprised that you said yes to comin’ over tonight. Thought you hated me or somethin.’”

You took another swig from your glass, setting it alongside his. “Hate you? No. Not even close to hating you. You’re just intimidating at times, and sometimes I feel like I’m gonna say the wrong thing and piss you off or something.” You said with a nervous laugh crawling up from your throat.

“I’m intimidatin’? Who woulda thought.” He snorted under his breath. “I highly doubt you could say anythin’ t’me that would piss me off. I really enjoy your ramblin’ when we’re on patrol together. Makes the time go faster.”

“Yeah, man. You’re so fucking intimidating. Like a walking fucking fridge. Or a bear..either or. Phew! I totally thought my rambling annoyed the hell out of you.” You let out a sigh of relief.

“Did you really just fuckin’ call me a fridge? That’s a new one I’ve never heard of before. ‘Supposed to be a compliment? I’m serious, darlin. You’re extremely easy to talk to, and very easy on the eyes.” His smooth twang nearly had you jumping his bones right then and there, but you were afraid of crossing that line the same way that he was.

“Joel Miller, are you flirting with me right now?” Your tone was light, teasing but you couldn’t help but shamelessly check out his side profile as he was bent over the side of the coffee table, licking the paper with one broad stroke of his wet tongue.

Your thighs subconsciously clenched together.

“Absolutely. I am flirtin’ with ya. Want me to stop? Don’t wanna go and cross any boundaries or nothin’. I uh—just think you’re really attractive. Have thought that for a while.” He smoothly admitted as he rolled the paper inwards, sealing the marijuana inside with precise precision.

“How long are we talking here? No, I don’t want you to stop. Keep going, I am enjoying the flattery.” You lightly giggled. “It’s your lucky day, Miller. I find you to be painfully attractive.”

Joel couldn’t help but chuckle as he used the tip of his nail to pack the weed down. “Wow, look at us. Haven’t even started smokin’ and we’re already admittin’ dirty secrets? Well, aren’t we just naughty.”

“The naughtiest.” You agreed.

Joel reached over with the unlit joint between his fingertips as he placed it between your parted lips, letting it rest along the plush skin of your lower lip. “Hold that fo’me. Good girl.” He praised you as he grabbed his little box of lighters. “Ellie and I collected most of these from old gas stations and stores we’d come across. Amazin’ what you can find even in an apocalyptic world. Huh?”

You did as he said as you gingerly held the joint between your lips, reaching into the box of lighters to pick one out. You ended up picking the one that had red and orange flames licking up the side of the lighters cartridge. “Exactly, you never know what you’re gonna find out there.” You handed him the lighter, watching his eyes lock on yours as he lit the tip of the joint for you with a spark from the lighter.

“You wanna sit in my lap? Y’know—just uh cause it would be easier for us to pass it back and forth.” He boldly asked.

“Wow, you sly dog. That was bold, even for you Miller. You weren’t kidding when you told me to make myself at home, huh?” You took a deep inhale as the lit end burned a bright vibrant orange. You blew the smoke up towards the ceiling before placing the unlit end into Joel’s lips. You wasted no time to crawl in his lap, with your thighs on either side of his hips. The close proximity was already making your head deliciously spin.

“I don’t joke about those kinds of things darlin.’ M’very serious with this stuff.” His free hand found purchase around the skin where your ass meets your thigh as he took a long drag.

“Oh? What other things are you serious about Joel?” You replied with a soft hum.

“Mmm. Lots of things, darlin.’ Could always show ya, if you want.” He placed the joint back between your lips, his thumb lightly brushing along your lower lip in the process. “Goddammit. Those pretty lips of yours are doin’ somethin’ to’me. They look so fuckin’ pretty wrapped around that joint. Think you have it in your heart to spare this old man a kiss? Think I’ll end up dyin’ if I don’t get a taste.”

The first thought to spring to your mind was, ‘what the fuck is in this weed, and where can I get more of it.’ And, ‘holy fuck. Is this really about to happen?’ You took a long, deep drag, lightly blowing the smoke past his head before you reached behind you and set the joint down against the ashtray so you could drape your arms loosely around his neck. “You wanna kiss me Mr. Miller?” You cooed softly.

“I want to kiss you so fuckin’ bad babydoll. So bad.” He whispered smoothly.

The kiss started off as a light brushing of your lips before it turned into a proper one. Joel’s one hand stayed firmly wrapped around your thigh while the other was cradling the back of your head as he kissed you deeply. He swiped his tongue along the seam of your lips, and once you granted him access, his tongue soon tangled with yours. The kiss grew more fervent, heated, as the seconds ticked by.

“S’okay. We don’t gotta rush or anythin’, sugar. Just let the weed do all the talkin’ for us. Say, did I ever tell ya how fuckin’ gorgeous you are? Mmm. No? Well, I’m sayin’ it now. You’re goddamn stunnin.’” He mumbled hazily against your lips. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

Your fingers tangled in his soft tendrils of salt and pepper hair, tugging it gently as you scooted yourself further into his lap. The air was growing heavy with lust as your jeans began to feel ten times tighter now. “Joel.” You whispered between kisses, “can I take these off, please? Fucking dying in these things”

“You just lookin’ for an excuse to get naked in front of me? You don’t gotta ask, babydoll. Told ya to make yourself right at home.”

You reluctantly detached your lips from his, a string of saliva connected your lips for a moment before you were sitting up and popping the button off your jeans. You shimmied them down your thighs, and past your ankles, giving him just a little show as you tossed the denim to the floor.

His fingers brushed over the lower back tattoo that was etched beautifully in your skin. A heart with barbed wire, it was fitting. “This one of your college days choices?” His thumb brushed along the ink, eliciting a shudder to roll down your spine.

“Yeah, do you like it?”

“Fuckin’ love it.” He rasped, coaxing you back down into his lap gently. “C’mere.”

“You gonna touch me, or keep asking questions Miller?” You were kissing him once more, biting down on his lower lip and tugged it out before gently releasing it.

“Mmm. Someone is awfully eager. C’mon, be a good girl and ask me nicely.” He teased.

“Please fucking touch me Joel. Or I’ll do it my goddamn self.” You threatened.

That’s all it took for Joel Miller to slowly dip his fingers under the thin fabric of your panties. His broad middle and forefinger brushed between your slit, gathering up the pooling arousal between your sticky folds. “Fuck me. You’re so fuckin’ wet. This all fo’me? How generous of you honeypie. Such a sweet little wet cunt.” He hummed as his fingers rubbed tight circles against your clit, causing your back to arch up towards his touch like a magnet.

“Mhm. It’s all for you. I’ve been dreaming for this to finally happen. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long. I almost had me jumping your bones earlier.” Your lips parted as your eyes fluttered shut.

“Oh? Now you’re havin’ dreams about me, sweet girl? That’s cute. Didn’t know you had that much of a crush on me. Woulda made a serious move sooner if I had known.” He detached his lips from yours, swollen with your kisses as he peppered them down your jaw and throat. “Want me to play with ya a little? We’ll do whatever you wanna do. No pressure.”

“I want you to make me cum with your fingers alone. I want to see if they’re really as skilled as they look.”

Joel let out a low growl as he playfully nibbled on your skin, soothing the pain his teeth inflicted with his tongue. “Think I can easily handle that darlin.’ Why don’t ya grab that joint again while I fuck ya with my fingers. Wanna see your pretty face ride through the high.”

He used his thumb to push your panties to the side for easier access as his middle and forefinger lightly circled your tight went hole. You were wet enough for both of his fingers to slowly sink knuckle deep into your pussy. His fingers were inside you at a deliciously deep angle that already had you seeing stars as he curled them inwards.

“I knew you had a tight pussy, sweetheart. Didn’t know she was gonna be this fuckin’ tight. Fuck. Can you imagine how tight your little pussy is gonna be clenchin’ on my cock? Dunno if I’m even gonna fit baby.”

You struggled to reach behind you and slip the joint back between your fingers as his fingers pumped in and out of your tight wet walls with practiced ease. With a shaky exhale you placed the joint back between your lips taking a long, and deep inhale. “Another—another night Joel. I promise. Just keep going. Don’t stop.” You pleaded as your hips slowly rocked into his hand.

“That’s it. Nice n’slow fo’me now. Yeah, that’s it. Good girl. Good fuckin’ girl. Can feel ya clenchin’ down on my fingers, sweet thing.” He curled his fingers in a come hither motion while he used his thumb to lightly rub circles against your clit while you rode his hand.

The air was growing heady, musky as you moaned out his name through hazy smoke that circled your bodies like halos. The joint was placed between Joel’s lips as you continued to rock and roll your hips. Just when you were about to hit your high, tasting your impending orgasm on your tongue, the door lock jiggled and Joel was quickly throwing a blanket over your bodies as your hips stilled along his fingers.

An exhausted looking Ellie strode in through the front door. She didn’t even see you and Joel on the couch as she trudged up the steps to her room.

Joel let out a shaky breath of relief when she didn’t notice the filth taking place on the couch. Just to be safe, he brought his freehand against your mouth before he resumed the motions of his fingers. He kept the joint between his lips as his fingers pumped inside of you at an unforgiving pace.

“C’mon. You gonna cum all over my fingers, sweet girl? Gonna coat them fo’me? C’mon. I know you’re fuckin’ close.” S’okay. I gotcha.” He praised you softly as you let out a hushed sob against his hand that covered your mouth. Your hips stilled as he slowly slipped his fingers out with a boy-like grin.

“Don’t look at me like that.” You giggled, plucking the joint from between his lips to finish it off.

“Like what? Like the way a man knows he’s completely and utterly fucked? I thought you enjoyed that typa of thing darlin.’”

“Mmm. Yeah, you are most definitely fucked, Joel Miller. It’s alright. I am too. We’re both fucked.”

“In the best way possible.” He added on.

What was left of the joint was ashed out before Joel was cuddling up with you on the couch like the soft teddy bear he truly was.

“Do you think Ellie saw us when she came in?”

“Nah. She didn’t even look ova’here. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. She knows just how bad of a crush I’ve had on ya anyway.” He lightly kissed the curve of your spine as you were pressed against his chest.

“Oh, of course she did.” Your eyes fluttered shut gently as a small grin graced your features. High off Joel Miller, and his joint rolling skills; what a fantastic evening indeed.

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