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youarejesting · 5 years ago

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Femme: 41

Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, GDragon x Bigbang

Rating: mature

Length: 4.9k

Warnings: sex, cum denial, mentions of assault, Dom Namjoon.

Announcement: Thank you for waiting patiently, I have been struggling with the internet. Here is the new chapter, I hope you all enjoy. If anything is missing let me know it took me 3 hours to post this from my niece's phone haha

Recap: The boys all found out y/n is having Yoongi’s baby and you all have to learn how to accommodate a little one. You have a magical wedding. You and Yoongi are getting down and dirty when you go into labour. You give birth to a beautiful baby boy named Kyungju. Scary, Fun and Cute times have been had and that’s where we left off.

Yoongi was playing the piano while wearing a papoose. Making exasperated sounds when something didn’t sound right in the song he was writing. Kyungju knew nothing about music but what his father exposed him to. Making a grunting sound whenever the music stopped playing he tried hard to mimic his father's sounds. When he really liked a song or melody he would wiggle and kick his feet squeaking happily and Yoongi continued brainstorming, silently laughing at his son’s cute reactions.

It was the first time Kyungju was without you. Looking at potential daycares for the days one of you weren’t home and seeing as Yoongi works from home and Taehyung and Namjoons jobs were contract-based. Meaning they only worked when there was work for them. This wouldn’t be often.

Yoongi placed the baby in the walker and sat on the floor in front of him taking out a container of puréed peach apple and pear. He tried to feed his son but he refused eyes full of amusement. “Come on Kyungie we aren’t playing it's time to eat”

After another refusal, Yoongi sighed taking a spoonful and trying to entertain his son to no avail. “Look I don’t know what your complaining about its fruit look it’s tasty” he scooped some into his mouth and made exaggerated sounds pausing.

“Man that’s actually really good, if you don’t eat it I will” Yoongi scooped another spoonful into his mouth watching his son leaning forward mouth open making grabbing hands, he laughed feeding him “that’s all it took, you will do it if I do it?”

Yoongi was chatting to Kyungju about his work while feeding him. Kungju’s eyes were growing heavy, dropping adorably. “I don’t see what the big deal is you know, it’s not like it’s a particularly good tune I mean I wrote it on the toilet” he scooped himself some purée before offering another to his son.

Kyungju slowly rolled the purée around his mouth most of it escaping as he slowly laid his head on his arm. Yoongi blinked shocked picking up his son and walking him to the nursery, he played him the music he had written for the infant. Making sure it was a low volume on the sound system. He cleaned his son’s face and hands removing the bib from his chest and laid his boy into the crib.

He switched on the monitor and walked out looking for his phone, spotting the half-eaten jar of purée beside it on the coffee table. He picked up both scooping some of the baby food into his mouth.

You had arrived home early, to see Yoongi enjoying the Jar of baby food. He froze, throwing the spoon into the sink and placing the small jar in the fridge. “No one will believe you” he smirked shutting. “Shit you are right, why didn’t I take a photo, look I won’t tell anyone about you eating the babies food if you go to the shop and buy some more, because that was our last jar”

When your boy woke he didn’t cry. He was babbling in his crib playing with his Woogie. You stepped into the room and watched his eyes light up and the pull of his all gum smile in response. He looked so much like his father. Taking Kyungju to the antenatal clinic he was weighed and measured they asked you questions about his diet and movement.

You walked home pushing the pram, Kyungju dropped his Woogie off the side and a kid in uniform stopped picking it up. “Hey little man you dropped this” he smiled and looked up, you took a sharp breath. It was the same kid the one who had helped you get your purse but also led you down an alleyway where people were waiting to do god knows what.

Your breathing became erratic, freezing up as if one wrong move could hurt your baby. “I’m sorry,” he said and turned away from you, noticing his face was bruised and busted. “I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me” He curled up and was hyperventilating more than you, your son turned looking up at you and reached forward to gently pull on the boy's hair.

“Kyungie, no we don’t pull hair” grabbing your son’s hand and untangling it from the reddish locks. Shushing the teen until his breathing evened out “Listen I am not going to hurt you, but, can you tell me about why you did it?” “Everyone has their breaking point, I let them all getaway and had been beaten because of it but everyone has a limit when their fear takes over and they will do anything to keep themselves or their loved ones safe, I am sorry it had to be you”

“What happened to your face?” “It was just a couple hits,” he said and you looked at his face and sighed “it’s not like I can do anything I have no home or family or anyone who cares about me, they all died years ago, when I was starving on the street they told me they would protect men feed me and put a roof over my head but now I can’t escape”

You bit your lip, hooping like hell you wouldn’t regret this, you gave him your number, “look if you need help call me, and use the code word bangtan. Stay safe”

When you arrived at home Yoongi still wasn’t back yet he texted that he took a detour for lamb skewers. Taking the opportunity to film. “Hey, guys so I just got back from Kyungie’s appointment they say he is looking really good. But today I have some exciting news, I am pregnant again I haven’t told the boys yet but I just got back from the doctor and I am sixteen weeks which is four months, I successfully kept this one a secret, though I think Jiminie and Hobi are getting really suspicious, I haven’t had any morning sickness this pregnancy which has been a dream.”

“I also got the results on who the next father is, but I haven’t read it yet I am going to tell them all tonight so I will record it for you and-” you told the camera your plan and began editing the first half of the video so it was almost ready to post.

The boys came home one by one. You had set up multiple cameras around the living room with the remote in your pocket ready to film their reactions. Dinner consisted of jjigae, rice and banchan for the adults, Kyungju had puréed chicken broccoli and pumpkin, he was having more fun spitting it at Jimin than actually eating.

“Come on Kyungie eat your dinner” “I went to the doctor today, Kyungie hasn’t really put on much weight so they want to monitor him a little more but he is growing really well and is in the top seventy-five percent for his age”

“But babies as they get more active and as his diet is changing it will slow down his weight gain we just have to watch he is eating enough. I called Yoongi‘s mother and she said Yoongi was the same and not to worry”

“And the doctor was impressed with my muscles said if I keep following Kookies light workout routine that I should have no troubles at all and she said sex and orgasms are a good work out for pelvic floor muscles so if anyone wants to work out, you know where to find me” “That’s good that you had no issues” Namjoon grinned from across the table, “if anything changes let us know your health is most important to us”

“Did the doctor say anything else?” Hoseok asked and you grinned at him. “He said Kyungie needs his six-month vaccinations but I booked that later this week when Namjoon had his day off, I couldn’t go alone and tomorrow is his first day at daycare and then I am heading off to work so if anyone wants to drop him off with me you can otherwise we will record it if someone is busy and so we can keep it forever”

Seokjin was taking kyungie for a bath after dinner. The two sat in the warm water Jin smiling and playing with the squeaky bath toys that made Kyungie erupt in fits of giggles. Taehyung took him to get him dried and dressed. You told him you had laid clothes out on the changing table in the nursery. You pressed record seeing the red lights on the hidden camera’s switch on.

Taehyung walked him back from the nursery and laughed. “This is funny his suit says big brother on it like he is asking to be a big brother” he showed them the words on the suit.

“Are you pregnant again?” “I knew it Jagiya, Jimin and I have been discussing it for weeks” Hoseok laughed “I thought I hid it well” “We are going to need a bigger house. How far along are you?”

“Kyungie you’re a big brother” Taehyung grinned down at the boy “Who is the father?” Hoseok asked “One at a time, okay I am four months. I got to sixteen weeks without you finding out and it was exhausting but I didn’t get morning sickness this time because I knew how to prevent it better”

“Who is the father?” Namjoon asked quietly. “I don’t know but I have the letter, so who wants to read it first” They all shook their heads and you hummed opening the letter and covered your mouth crying, “Kookie, you’re going to be a daddy” you sniffed and he shot from the chair and wrapped his arms around you crying. He had a wet face and his hands were shaking.

“I love you” his laugh was broken by a sob, “I’m going to be a dad” The boys tackled him and patted his back. “Jaykay, you sly dog” they cheered happily.

You took Kyungju to daycare with your usual walking and Taehyung. The place was run by a lovely group of young men and women, “ah Miss y/n, so this is Kyungju, how are you today? He looks happy” a cute young man with a name tag that said ‘hello my name is Sungmin’. Sungmin grinned scooping up your son from your arms. He tried to keep his voice from sounding winded as he received several strong kicks to the chest by a smiling Kyungju.“He is a strong one”

“Congratulations we saw your announcement video, another baby” Sunny smiled Yoona gave you a quick hug before you had to go to work. You had met the two the day before for all the paperwork and interviews. They assured you they would call if anything seemed odd, you kissed your boy and tried not to cry.

Inshik listened while you spoke about the daycare and your new pregnancy, he comforted you about your son being away from home. You got up to serve a customer but it was Jimin, eventually, all the boys turned up and you stepped out the van, “hello my lovers why are you all here? I’m not giving free ice creams”

“Joon told us to” Hoseok smiles pulling you onto his lap pressing his lips to the back of your neck whilst rubbing your tummy. Namjoon spoke quickly to Inshik who told you that was all for today. Namjoon led you to a company van and after a short drive, you arrived at a lovely building. The group stepping out to greet others.

“Okay, this is a little expensive but it is just a block from Kyungie’s daycares and still close to our workplaces it’s got a huge master bedroom, it’s built as a Femme home, so there are a lot of rooms.

A realtor walked you through and you looked around imagining how you would decorate. “But what about the TXT boys I can’t leave them behind“ “We have so many rooms they could stay over for sleepovers” Taehyung grinned and you debated the costs.

“This is a big and expensive house” your face showed your concerns. “We can do it, we all make a good living and the videos we make online can cover most of our expenses anyways” “Let’s sleep on it”

The channel grew more and more. The boys and their families all put money in to help you buy the house outright and you were so happy moving in. Staying in the huge master bedroom the room was ten meters wide and there were two Super Caesar beds each bed was 3.65 meters wide and could fit four people in each so both beds custom fit together could hold eight people comfortably.

Rolling from one side to the other was a full 7.3 meters and the bathroom was huge as well, there were five bathrooms in the house and the boys had a computer and games room an office and Yoongi’s studio. You all decided to make a room for making videos for your channel.

So the new house had twelve rooms and you were excited some of the boys still used their own rooms when they needed their own space. Otherwise, they all stayed in the master bedroom and left the other rooms for guests.

And not only was their room for guests you had room for pets, so all the boy’s beloved pets moved into the house. Yoongi had taught holly to protect Kyungju so he spent most of his nights on the soft rug in the nursery.

When Kyungju would crawl across the floor after Yeontan and Mickey, Holly would lay on his belly and crawl along beside Kyungju.

Sometimes you would see the Mins sleeping on the studio couch, Kyungju on Yoongi’s chest Woogie in his little fist and holly at Yoongi’s feet.

“Hey everyone it’s been so hectic, as you saw in our house tour video last week, we moved into a new house. It’s May and I am seven months pregnant and extremely exhausted after setting up, so today we are just going to have live mukbang so I can eat and relax and talk about things happening”

“I have a few friends coming over with some, so they should be here any minute” the TXT boys turned up and with bags of food making themselves comfortable in front of the camera. “We got you your favourite foods Noona, hello everyone?” “You look tired Noona are you feeling okay?” “Just tired from moving but this house is so big which is perfect for our growing family”

“Noona look what I am wearing today,'' Yeonjun showed his shirt which you had given them in a PR package, it was your channel merchandise. “You grinned showing him the TXT phone case, which you put on especially for them. Eating and talking, Soobin whose hands were full bouncing Kyungju to sleep was being fed by Beomgyu and Yeonjun.

Your son woke after all the food was demolished so you ended the live, fed and changed him, giving him to Taehyun who was super playful. Your phone rang, there was no caller ID.

“Hello?” Someone was sobbing into the other end and you felt your body tense, who was this. “hello?” “Bangtan,” the voice said “please Bangtan” “Okay stay on the phone are you safe?” “No they are outside the door they are going to bust it down”

You took Soobin’s phone off the table and called Namjoon, he didn’t answer. You lied through your teeth, “help is coming” “Hurry please” “Hang in there we will be there soon tell me where you are?” He gave you an address “can you put something in front of the door a dresser or a bed or something”

You told the boys to take care of Kyungju for a few minutes and you took a cab across town and threw the driver some cash and told him to stay and keep the car running. You left the door open much to the driver’s dismay.

You wondered if this was the place, your suspicions confirmed by the shouting from inside, you called him. “I am here are you near a window” you saw his head poke out and you frowned he was on the second floor. You hummed sneaking across the lawn and he started climbing out. You could hear the men breaking down the door he jumped. You heard a sickening crunch and he slapped a hand over his face muffling his scream. The door wouldn’t hold much longer and they would know he had escaped. With all the strength of a mother saving an endangered Child you picked him up and moved quickly to the taxi, you placed him in.

“Take us to the hospital” you got their helping him limp to the emergency room. Phone ringing, it was Namjoon. They had arrested the men for possession of weapons and drugs. One of them had videos on their phone of them assaulting people including the young boy with you.

He had been in surgery for severe internal bleeding and to set his leg and his leg was wrapped in a cast, “what do I do now, I have no home, no money, nothing?” He woke delusional sobbing quietly his split lip reopening. He couldn’t cry well since his eyes were swollen and his broken nose made it hard to breathe.

Namjoon arrived and the TXT boys informed you Seokjin and Jungkook had returned home and we’re looking after Kyungjuf. Thanking them profusely you got the all clear that you and the baby were healthy, and was told not to enter dangerous or stressful situations.

Namjoon spoke with the young boy, “Hello, my name is detective Kim, I want to ask you some questions, is that okay?”The boy nodded “can you tell me your name and how old you are?”

“Nam Yoon-do but people call me Eric,” he said shuffling on the bed. “I am sixteen”

Namjoon finished his questions with the boy each answer pulled at your heartstrings, homeless and an orphan at the age of nine he did what he could to survive. Your genius husband headed over fixing you a cold stare, shutting the curtain. “Why is my pregnant wife going alone to the home of a gang, they are criminals, the lowest of the low”

“He called me and he said the code word for help. I couldn’t sit around and you didn’t answer your phone. He was begging for help as they tried to break down his door. I couldn’t listen to those sounds, I had to do something, I may be pregnant but I am good at hiding. If I went back in time I would do it again in a heartbeat, it’s over now he is safe and that’s all that matters”

“Yeah he is lucky to be alive, they did quite a number on him,” Namjoon said “Can he stay with us?” You asked and Namjoon blanched, he told you it wasn’t a good idea giving you some very good reasons why he shouldn’t. Almost convinced and yet one look at the sad young boy and you had made your mind up.

Namjoon saw the determination in your eyes and gave a small laugh, “you are my wife and if this is your decision then I will stand by you just know that our family comes first and we should all have a say”

“He is the same age as the TXT boys he has had a bad life” you argued calmly trying to keep your voice down. “And he only knows how to do bad things” Namjoon hissed “this is delicate we don’t know what he might do”

“Give him a chance to be good, we don’t know what he will do if we don’t give him the chance” His lips moulding against yours his hands grasping and bunching the fabric of your skirt. Grabbing your shoulders he turned you. Catching your hands on the hospital mattress you had previously been resting on.

He threw his suit jacket onto the bed beside your hands. You heard the stretch of leather, the metal clack of his belt, and the sweet erotic sound of his zip. You were wet with anticipation, he reached between your legs brushing two fingertips against your clothed clit.

Hands tightening in the sheets, Namjoon traced a line down your heat and groaned. He pulled down your underwear, the shuffle of fabric the only sound before you felt him, thick against your thigh.

He ran the head of his cock against your entrance. The ache for him was so bad. grinding back against him, he held your hips firm. And pressed the tip into your pussy, he didn’t go all the way in teasing you.

You pleaded under your breath and he closed his eyes moaning at your begging. Unable to take anymore he pulled your hips towards him sinking into your wet folds. You lifted your head up gasping.

He snapped his hips into you, his grasp on your hips was so he could pull you back to meet every thrust. You were so close muffling your sounds with his suit jacket. He came hard inside you a bloom of warmth filling your lower stomach his dick twitching as he released.

“You did something dangerous today and could have gotten hurt, you need to learn how that would affect us all as a family. So you are being punished, you are not allowed to cum for one whole week and I will be telling the other boys this too” he pulled your underwear up, turning you to face him.

He brushed his knuckles along your cheek, “you don’t know how it feels knowing you could be hurt. I work a dangerous job and there is a chance I won’t come home, what if I was beaten or even killed, how would you feel? That isn’t even half of what we might feel if something happened to you”

“I will accept this punishment because I know exactly how you would feel but please think about this. That boy has no one who will feel this if something happens to him. What if this was your son? What if we all died and kyungie was left alone? I would want a nice family to take him in rather than my poor boy be on the street”

“Why do you always have such compelling arguments?” He lowered his forehead onto your shoulder and you fixed his suit “look my parents have a spare bedroom now that all the children left home and they are much more mature and stable than us. They can give him all the attention he deserves while we are focused on the babies. Not to mention they would love another son, my father has been pretty lonely since us boys have moved out”

“He would really like that wouldn’t he” you remembered fondly Namjoon’s father absolutely adoring your husbands and trying to invite them to go camping or fishing. Yoongi seemed really interested in the latter and even convinced Seokjin and Jungkook to go when the weather got warm. Needless to say, the older gentleman had been calling and messaging every weekend with updates and packing tips and fun facts about how to be a better fisherman.

“Eric?” You called walking on shaky legs across the room. He looked up in response to his name and you felt the pang of guilt in your chest for letting him go when you saw the first bruises, why hadn’t you helped him that day. It wouldn’t have come to this.

Taking his hand in yours “forgive me, I shouldn’t have let you go back the day I saw the bruises, this is all my fault I could have prevented this” “Noona it’s not your fault, I wouldn’t expect you to help after what I did?”

“I have to go, you stay here, okay everything will be fine and I will pay the bill okay, just rest”

It was a long week the boys hadn’t let you orgasm as Namjoon requested each one silently furious that you could be so reckless. You were frustrated but you loved each of them so much you were satisfied when they were satisfied.

Eric was finally able to see properly his swollen and purple toned bruises had faded to a dark green yellow and he was looking more like his handsome self. “Where did you get this?” “Yeonjun and Kai and those group of boys you are friends with all brought me my homework a few days ago”

“Do you need any help?” “Can you help me with English?” He looked up nervous, nodding you sat on the end of his bed taking the textbook and skimming the pages. It was about hobbies and adjective orders. You decided to start small and introduce yourselves hoping he could gain confidence.

“Hello my name is y/n“ “Hello my name is Eric” “How old are you Eric?” “I am sixteen” “What do you like?” “I like… uh how you say food place and uh red colour and look seeing uh town” “You like restaurants and the colour red and you like going and looking around town?” “Ah I like going new place” “Oh going to new places, how about a new home?”

He was processing the words slowly and seemed confused dropping a ‘sorry I don’t understand’. You smiled he looked so confused. “I found you a home, I wanted to know if you would like to stay with my father in law?”

“I don’t know this one sorry” he blushed “That’s okay I can ask you in Korean. My father in law owns a big house and he wanted to know if you would like to stay in one of the spare rooms”

He pencil paused on the page and he looked up with hopeful eyes, then seemed to crush it down trying to look indifferent looking back at his page working quietly.“I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“My parents in law, they met you would have already added you to the family. They are a lovely couple and they live close to your school. I won’t let you leave here alone again. I’m sorry but the only choice you have right now is what colour you want your bedroom, he texted me this morning”

Handing over the phone he began reading the message, “what colour does he like, I can’t paint the room before he arrives, is he allergic to anything. If he is unsure we can pick out colours and bedding when he arrives. Does he need anything, school books, uniform or bag?”

Eric stopped reading and looked up at you, “I don’t know if I am okay with that?” “Well he wanted to meet you today is that okay?” “Uh sure” his smile was small and you wanted to squeeze him to your chest and protect him. Reaching out to tousle his unruly hair feeling extremely maternal. You heard a familiar voice from outside.

“Good morning, my lady I was looking for a mister Nam Yoon-Do” you both looked at each other and you smiled. “Can you tell me if he is allowed some snacks from outside the hospital?” “Of course sir he has no restrictions to his diet and no allergies, I will just see if he is ready for more visitors” The nurse poked her head into the room and confirmed he was expecting someone.

“Ah hello you must be the young man Mister Nam Yoon-do, Can I call you Yoon-do or do you prefer Yoonie” “Yes sir, please call me Eric” He looked at his hands and you felt your heart constrict, rubbing his back and smiled. “Eric are you hungry, the lunch trolley is late again today, how about we eat something together, there looks like a lot of food”

“Ah yes, the wife made this for us to enjoy,” He smiled “we are excited to have you if you want to live with us that is, we got some rooms and you just let us know what you like to eat. And you can have the computer room to play all those games the kids are talking about and if you like fishing we could go out and…”

Walking home you walked past Kyungju’s Daycare picking him up, the staff there loved him and you were glad he was able to make a few little friends he could grow up alongside. You were picking up his bag when you saw Seokjin waiting for you outside. “Hello Daddy what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to take you on a date if that’s okay with you, we will both have to change and leave Kyungie at home with the others but then we can head on our way”

Femme Media 41

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watchstandpray · 7 years ago

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From the Creator of Watch Stand Pray

Though the subtitle reads “Moral Motivation”, I do not consider myself any moral authority by any means. Morality is a topic society is hungry for. It would be a crime not to spread the news: Morals are good.

Note that the title is not “Moral Perfection”. I write these words to myself as much as to everyone else. As the words suggest, this work is both a motivation for morals and a set of moral-centered motivationals.

I was inspired by my many students and friends, as well as Oswald Chambers. I was introduced to his work when a kind of spiritual grandmother in my life gave me a copy as I went off to Moody. My Utmost for His Highest, the gold standard of Bible-based devotionals, was a collection of notes from Chambers’ widow; our loved ones often know our best values best. He died at 43 years old of a health condition. His first book, Biblical Psychology, was published five years before that. If he could address both Bible and culture at such a young age, I can too.

I write this at 37 years old. When I first wrote this Introduction, I had only finished the first read, drafted about eleven other candidate reads, and had a list of about 180 for other topics, at least 100 of them Bible Theology topics. Most of those are rants I have given to friends on more than one occasion. It seems, according to the fact that his wife took notes of what he would say at home, Oswald was a bit of a “ranter” like myself. What writer/teacher isn’t?

My father would also go on “wisdom rants”. He called them “little Walter thoughts”. Our family treasures them today. Toward the end of his life, he started to write them down, but most of what he said remains only in memory. I don’t want that for my own ideas for future generations. Although I have written political columns, Bible teachings of many kinds, fiction, and numerous other pieces in various genres, nothing I ever wrote before this really had “Jesse thoughts”. This does.

Oswald Chambers brought us all something special. His daily readings aren’t just “Bible study”. They were real, passionate, and natural from the moment. Those kinds of “household wisdom rants” have the strongest “didactic” teaching impact in childhood. Some of our best books are the ones we don’t know we write. Oswald remains unique in the devotional world.

The lesser among devotionals can often be with cliche, are quite dry, belong best under dust on a coffee table’s lower shelf, or were invaluable for readers from another time. Many good Bible devotionals are aimed at novice Bible readers who love Jesus and need elementary teaching to enrich their busy, hectic lives. There are many rich daily-Bible books, such as 365 Read-Aloud Bedtime Bible Stories, the “Uncle” Arthor Maxwell collections, and it goes without mention that Max Lucado and my dear friend, Joe Stowell, are generally awesome. But, all of these are heavily focused on traditional Bible-preaching topics.

What about the professional? What about the Christian who wants to minister through the marketplace or in government? Wisdom such as, “Make sure you’re nice to people because God really loves you as much as them,” carries truth that can be properly applied if we take it to heart; but it doesn’t necessarily answer all challenges of the working professional.

Who disciples the Daniels and Josephs? Who motivates the motivational speakers? They weren’t without mentors of their own. Without any spite, I believe there is a “red ocean” marketable need for a book that daily enriches the lives of self-proclaimed “Christian yuppies”. I wanted “Tony Robins meets Oswald Chambers”. Frankly, that’s Jesse Steele.

Oswald Chambers didn’t intend to write the book he wrote. That was part of its magic. The only reason that I can justify even being worthy to want to follow in his shoes is that every one of these 365 reads—353 of them yet-to-be-drafted—are from rants I have already made. I’m doing zero research and zero outlining for these devotionals. I’m simply sitting at a keyboard and pounding out “repeating broken record rants” of my past that people have thanked me for time and again. The book will be finished as fast as I can type. (Now we know how long it took.)

(Don’t tell her, but this is arguably a romance tactic. If I publish all my brilliant ideas before I meet my future wife, that might deter her from taking notes while I’m ranting. Wouldn’t that have been kind of funny—a young couple getting into it when the wife suddenly pulls out a pad of paper and starts taking notes? Just sayin’. But, I kinda’ like that kinda’ woman.)

No, I’m not married. I just haven’t had time to pursue it, being too busy with other important things that I won’t have time for in the future. So, how can I even include anything about marriage and family in these readings?

I am a son and an uncle, for what it’s worth. I hope I’m valuable to my nieces and nephews. Still, I severely limit myself on the topic of raising a family. I can’t speak to the 24/7 parenting gig; it’s exhausting just to think about. But, if it is wrong to write wisdom for children when you don’t have any of your own then most of CS Lewis’ work would be unqualified.

In terms of marriage, I am just an inquisitive observer. I’ve often picked the brains of married couples to see what works for them, why they fail, why they succeed, and I often know more about what goes on behind the scenes than people realize. I’m somewhat of the grapevine in that sense. I don’t think God would let those little “bees” buzz over and keep me so informed if I flapped jaw about other people’s problems. I keep a tighter lip than most will ever know. Many a secret will go to my grave with me. From those secrets, I have a wide scope of what I have seen fail and succeed. I think it would be a crime not to share at least a little from that insight.

These reads contain the warnings and wisdom anyone can see in advance, with a little diligence and “grapevining”. I’ll probably write a post-parenting book on how it all worked out. My mother often told me with all sincerity and no animosity, “I can’t wait to see how your ideas actually work out when you’re a parent.”

What do I have to say about being a father?

I write this not as a father, but as a godfather of a godson whose father left him forever when he was three, to whom I gave my name. I have none of the rights nor powers of a real father, yet I carry much of the responsibility. I have no influence in his regular instruction or situation. I am only available when called on and can only act in the capacity of a commentator and cheerleader. In many ways, I wish I had even some of the powers of a real father to David, with no second thought for the burdens that would come with them. I did not ask for him to be my godson and I cannot ask to be released. I only write about the topic of fathering because no devotional would be complete without it. In this, I write from what I little I do know and from what the Bible teaches. I hope that God grants you the powers to glean from my wisdom and disregard my lacking.

But, I am no novice to these matters either.

My grandmother was called “Grandma” even by her elders because of her wide and long work with children in her local church. Even after she died, my aunt’s neighbor, who barely knew her, had a dream in which she called her “Grandma”. My mother was listed in the local newspaper among the top ten local daycare providers. My own babysitter, from before I entered elementary school, was a leader in her community and I am still in touch with her to this day. We often talk about dealing with people as we never stop growing up.

During the ages of nine and ten, when I was homeschooled, I listened to Dr. Kevin Leman on the radio every day as parents called into his national talk radio program for advice. Sadly, yet honestly, I believed I have studied the subject of parenting more than most parents. In addition to that, I have twenty-three years of one-on-one tutoring experience with ages ranging from five to seventy and in three different cultures. I have seen many parenting styles, what fails and what succeeds, and I say confidently as humbly: It’s all predictable.

Books have already been published about most every problem and conflict. Talk radio hosts, even the less famous, have addressed many challenges. Yet, most of the people who face great challenges in family relationships rarely seek advice, let alone seek advice in advance. Not seeking advice in advance is usually among the greatest problems in family. Never have I encountered a situation where my own counsel had not already been published by men more experienced than I. When it comes to family, I have absolutely nothing new to say, yet I think I have seen one quarter of all there is to see, the total being unfathomable.

I do not have experience as a husband or as a biological father. I can’t speak from impure relations either. I can only speak from the perspective of one who has the wisdom to wait for things for which I know I am not prepared. Of all the experience I lack, the greatest is preventable and unnecessary failure. For the failures I have, I am glad I was at least absent from the bleachers and present on the game field.

Aside from parenting, I feel competent in the areas of which I write. I survived nine years overseas with my only financial plan being God as my provider. Everything I write about money came from what I have observed in life and read in the Bible. The same goes for leadership, whether organizationally, in business relations, friendship, or positions of authority such as controlling a classroom or working in government.

My work speaks for itself, including the fifteen other books I have written as of 2018, all of them available as ebooks and through print on demand, as well as the inkVerb and PinkWrite projects along with many others. I have a degree in Bible, ten years of work in food service, twenty years in education, and am a pianist of thirty. I am son to a widowed mother and Military Police renaissance-man and teacher of a father. I am a brother, uncle, godfather, Linux programmer, designer, podcaster, columnist, predictor of politics, adviser to unnamed few, ESL and piano teacher, forever student, individual sport enthusiast, hands-on student of culture, lover of people almost as much as I am lover of our Creator God, sinner, mentor, friend, hunter, tamer of animals, writer, editor, survivor, and hope-to-be-better every day all-around good guy.

I write this at 37 years old. At this time, I have only drafted the first read, about eleven other candidate reads, and have a list of about 180 for other topics, at least 100 of them Bible Theology topics. Most of these are rants I have given to friends on more than one occasion. It seems, according to the fact that his wife took notes of what he would say at home, Oswald was a bit of a “ranter” like myself. What writer/teacher isn’t?

My father would also go on “wisdom rants”. He called them “little Walter thoughts”. We treasure them today. Toward the end of his life, he started to write them down, but most of what he said remains only in memory. I don’t want that. Although I have written political, Bible, fiction, and numerous other pieces in various genres, nothing really had “Jesse thoughts”. This does.

Oswald Chambers brought something special. His daily readings aren’t just “Bible study”. They were real, passionate, and natural from the moment. Those kinds of “household wisdom rants” have the strongest “didactic” teaching impact in childhood. Some of our best books are the ones we don’t know we write. Oswald remains unique in the devotional world.

The lesser among devotionals can be filled with cliche, quite dry, belong best under dust on a coffee table’s lower shelf, or were invaluable for readers from another time. Many good Bible devotionals are aimed at novice Bible readers who love Jesus and need elementary teaching to enrich their busy, hectic lives. There are many rich daily-Bible books, such as 365 Read-Aloud Bedtime Bible Stories, the “Uncle” Arthor Maxwell collections, and it goes without mention that Max Lucado and my good friend, Joe Stowell, are generally awesome. But, all of these are heavily focused on traditional Bible-preaching topics.

Who disciples the Daniels and Josephs? Who motivates the motivational speakers? They weren’t without mentors of their own. Without any spite, I believe there is a “red ocean” marketable need for a book that daily enriches the lives of self-proclaimed Christian yuppies. I wanted “Tony Robins meets Oswald Chambers”. Frankly, that’s Jesse Steele.

Oswald Chambers didn’t intend to write the book he wrote. That was part of its magic. The only reason that I can justify even being worthy to follow in his shoes is that every one of these 365 reads—353 of them yet-to-be-drafted—are from rants I have already made. I’m doing zero research and zero outlining for these devotionals. I’m simply sitting at a keyboard and pounding out “broken record rants” of my past that people have thanked me for time and again. The book will be finished as fast as I can type.

I am a son and an uncle, for what it’s worth. I hope I’m valuable to my nieces and nephews. Still, I severely limit myself to the topic of raising a family. I can’t speak to the 24/7 gig; it’s exhausting just to think about. But, if it is wrong to write wisdom for children when you don’t have any of your own then most of CS Lewis’ work would be unqualified.

In terms of marriage, I am just an inquisitive observer. I’ve often picked the brains of married couples to see what works for them, why they fail, and I often know more about what goes on behind the scenes than people realize. I’m somewhat of the grapevine in that sense. I don’t think God would let those little “bees” buzz over and keep me so informed if I flapped jaw about other people’s problems. I keep a tighter lip than most will ever know. Many a secret will go to my grave with me. From those secrets, I have a wide scope of what I have seen fail and succeed. I think it would be a crime not to share at least a little from that insight.

These reads contain the warnings and wisdom anyone can see in advance, with a little diligence. I’ll probably write a post-parenting book on how it all worked out. My mother often told me with all sincerity and no animosity, “I can’t wait to see how your ideas actually work out when you’re a parent.”

What do I have to say about being a father?

But, I am no novice to these matters either.

During the ages of nine and ten, when I was homeschooled, I listened to Dr. Kevin Leman on the radio every day as parents called into his national talk radio program for advice. Sadly, yet honestly, I believed I have studied the subject of parenting more than most parents. In addition to that, I have twenty years of one-on-one tutoring experience with ages ranging from five to seventy and in three different cultures. I have seen many parenting styles, what fails and what succeeds, and I say confidently as humbly: It’s all predictable.

Books have already been published about every problem and conflict. Talk radio hosts, even the less famous, have addressed many challenges. Yet, most of the people who face great challenges in family relationships rarely seek advice, let alone seek advice in advance. Not seeking advice in advance is usually among the greatest problems in family. Never have I encountered a situation where my own counsel had not already been published by men more experienced than I. When it comes to family, I have absolutely nothing new to say, yet I think I have seen one quarter of all there is to see, the total being unfathomable.

Aside from parenting, I feel competent in the areas of which I write. I survived nine years overseas with my only financial plan being God as my provider. Everything I write about money came from what I have seen in life and read in the Bible. The same goes for leadership, whether organizationally, in business relations, friendship, or positions of authority such as controlling a classroom.

My work speaks for itself, including the fifteen other books I have written as of 2018, all of them available as ebooks and through print on demand, as well as the inkVerb and PinkWrite projects along with many others. I have a degree in Bible, ten years of work in food service, twenty years in education, and am a pianist of thirty. I am son to a widowed mother and Military Police renaissance-man and teacher of father, brother, uncle, godfather, Linux programmer, designer, podcaster, columnist, predictor of politics, adviser to unnamed few, ESL and piano teacher, forever student, individual sport enthusiast, hands-on student of culture, lover of people almost as much as I am lover of our Creator God, sinner, mentor, friend, hunter, tamer of animals, writer, editor, survivor, and hope-to-be-better every day all-around good guy.

— Jesse Steele Creator of Watch Stand Pray

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