#dasher-flash

[peridot-tears]

Helloooooo @dasher-flash!

IS IT NOT. IS IT NOT JUST FRENCH FRYE.

✅ FRENCHMAN WITH A BRITISH ACCENT

✅ AGGRESSIVELY FIGHTING CROWDS OF TEMPLARS FISHMEN WHILE ARGUING

✅ ONE PREFERS STABBING ONE PREFERS KICKING AND PUNCHING

✅ NAMI EVIE ÉLISE STANDING TO THE SIDE ROLLING THEIR EYES

✅ THE FRENCH ONE HAS UNREQUITED LOVE FOR NAMI ÉLISE

✅ THE FRENCH ONE GETS ADOPTED BY A GRUFF ASSHOLE WITH A HEART OF GOLD

✅ THEY FIGHT ZEFF/BELLEC A LOT THOUGH

✅ THEY GET KICKED OUT OF BARATIE THE BROTHERHOOD

✅ THE FRENCH ONE WORKS IN A FOOD AND DRINK ESTABLISHMENT

✅ JACOB 🤝 ZORO 🤝 ARNO = ALCOHOLICS

You can't tell me either Arno OR Jacob would NOT be the type to be like, "oREgAnO IS fOR sAVaGeS"

Roronoa Zoro x Sanji is just another iteration of the two idiots, one braincell-type relationship I ship so much. They're just Jacob and Arno on a boat. Hell, this ship even has a French guy with a British accent!

[artistlara]

HELLO FRIEND

HIHI FRIEND!!!

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt 7

Hearing the chime of rhe bell above the door, Danny mentally prepared himself before poking his head around the corner "Heya! I will be with you in one hot sec!"

Rushing around the kitchen, Danny set the chili to simmer and quickly cleaned himself up before coming back to greet his newest customer.

Stepping upt to the bar, Danny put his best customer service smile on and opened his mouth to speak, but the words that came out were not in English.

"Hey there! Welcome to Big C's diner what can i..." Blinking a bit before frowning, Danny looked closer at his customer, his eyes flickering a bright green as he squinted at the man.

Because either this man was the very strong revenant that had claimed Crime alley as his huant, or there some how was a 4th Halfa in the world.

---

Jason found the little diner comfortable, more up to date than the typical dive that was in the Alley, there wasn't even any blood splatter in the back booths!

He kinda didn't like how there was only a single person working there at night, being so close to the Alley and all, but that was easily fixed if he just happened to come around in his Red Hood outfit.

Sending a smirk like smile to the teen that came out from the kitchen, who had the fakest smile that Jason had ever seen outside of a gala.

But his smirk slowly slipped as the kid spoke, his words both sounding clear and distorted at the same time, he could make out words but it was very clearly not words at the same time.

Then, the kid's eyes flashed, and Jason had seen those eyes before, he had seen them in the mirror more times than he was willing to admit.

(Holy shit this kid is about to have a Pit episode in front of me...how the fuck did this kid get in the pits?) Jason thought as he leaned back into his seat, his hand instantly going to where his guns usually were, but only grasped at air.

(Right...forgot those at home...) He thought, settling instead to set his hands on the counter, Jason narrowed his eyes at the teen

But just like that, the green was gone, and the teen cleared his throat, "Sorry about that, um, welcome to Big C's, what can I get ya?"

---

Danny gave a weak smile, he didn't exactly want to throw down with this potential halfa, sure he liked a good ghostly welcome every now and again, but he just cleaned up and he would like his diner to stay that way thank you!

The man across from him glared for amoment longer before shaking his head, "Shit, ugh...gimme a coffee and...what's your special today?"

Reaching for the coffee pot, Danny felt a rumble in the diner cart, and there was suddenly a chalk board on the wall behind him.

Pouring his customer a mug, his brain paused for a moment, translating the ghost script before he spoke "Cadavers chili hotdogs, made with 100% not person meat...I promise neither are made out of people, definitely didnt seen any bodies when I made it my guy."

---

Staring at the blackboard that Jason was very much sure wasn't there a moment ago, he felt his chest tighten and ache as he read the...sigils? Words? They were definitely something and he totally shouldn't know what they mean.

Biting back a snort at the dry comment, Jason focused on him "I will take two...Danny? That your name or just the name on the aprin you got?"

Jason was totally not digging for information, because he totally wasn't a Bat or a Bird, and he totally didn't have an urge to know everything about the person across from him.

Getting a dry chuckle from the guy on the other side of the counter, who could only shake his head, "Sadly, that's my name, I will be back in a sec with your food, no running off tho' ya hear? Already dealt with dine and dashers once this week."

Letting out a chuff, Jason kept his eyes around the room, he knew logically he should be more freaked out by this whole experience, but he couldn't help but feel his body relax and his mind comfortable slow.

Holding the cup of coffee in both hands, he took a long sip and memories hit him harder than a crowbar.

It was his mother's coffee, not the bitch that sold him out but his mama, Catherine, the woman that struggled to keep him happy and fed.

It was the watered down brew, stretched to make it last longer.

It was milky and sweet with sugar packets pilfered form diners such as this and powdered milk he used to steal from the grocery store just for her.

His mama gave up so much for him, why couldn't he just do one little petty theft for her?

His heart aches again, and the intense feel of the pits roar in his ears, but they weren't calling for blood, the pits crooned in nostalgic heart break.

Usually remembering before his death was a trigger, was something that made him rage, but right now? He could only mourn for the mother and son that used to cuddle up together under a ratty blanket, of the mother that whispered stories to him during long quiet nights, of the woman that he had found dead on one such quiet night.

---

Tossing on the last bit of fresh diced onions, Danny had a cheesy grin on his face as he brought the plate to the front, mouth opening to speak before noticing his customers disposition.

He was hunched over on himself, looking small (which was impressive for a man thst looked twice his size and 4 times more muscular)

Tears were streaming down his face as he stared at the now half full mug, for some reason it felt heart breaking to see.

Setting the plate down carefully in front of the man, Danny placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay man...your okay bud." Awkwardly Patting his customers shoulder, Danny felt a bit of panic, he wasn't Jazz he didn't know how to like, console people!

It took a few minutes for the man to calm, and Danny handed him a few paper towels to clean himself up, patting him on the back one last time, Danny let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, "Well...um, hope that the coffee is so bad that it made you cry, I-uhh, could comp it if you want?"

The man just shook his head, "Fuckin' hell, ain't bad, just...God damn it..."

---

Rubbing at his eyes Jason huffed, "Sorry for, um....blubbering on ya like that..

don't usually get teary at coffee, that's more of Timmer's shtick, just tastes...tastes like my mom's coffee when I was a kid..." shaking his head, Jason looked at the chili dogs, they still steamed, the cheese now melted on nicely.

Danny just nodded, "Yeah, some reason i have gotten a few comments on that" shrugging his shoulders, he started to figgle with a cloth, wipping down the counter as he spoke "Meh, Gotham is fucked up and I don't want to even begin to try and figure out."

Croaking out a laugh Jason dragged the plate of food closer, "Fucking right about that...though if you keep making it like that you got yourself a regular customer."

Reaching a hand across the counter, Jason gave Danny a weak smile, "Names Jason, nice to meet ya."

Taking the hand, Danny gave a smirk back, "Got it, one sad cup of coffee for you then-" Snapping his head over as he heard a beeping sound, Danny got a panicked look on his face "Oh shit! My cookies!"

---

Storming to the back, Danny ran to the oven, throwing it open, scrambling for the oven mits, he phased a hand through them instead of tugging them on, and quickly pulls the smoaking batch of sweets from the rack.

Plopping them on the counter, he hears the oven snap shut as he sighs, turning to thank the diner, he pauses to see the sight of a man he was hoping that he would never have to see again.

"Oh little Bager, King of the Realms making food for the common folk? How the great have fallen.." Vald said with a viscous grin, his hand reaching up to flip off the oven, "Did you think I wouldn't find you? Thought you could rum off and not tell dear old Uncle? Don't worry Bager, while old Vlad might not come around to vist much..."

There was a flash of black light and where a man once stood was a ghost, his grin pulled back devilishly "I am sure Plasmius will make up for it very...very well."

---

Laughing a bit as he watched Danny scramble inot the back, Jason stared at the food, he was still hungry but...he held an apprehension of sorts, was this going to bring back memories? Would they be good like the coffee or...

His thoughts were cut off as a body was through through the deviding wall from the front of the house to the kitchen.

Bolting up out of his seat, he watched as Danny stepped out of the hole in the wall, shaking out his fist as he did, "I really don't have the fucking time for you Plasmius, don't you see I have a customer?"

Jason stared as the body that was punched through the wall, that looked mangled, twisted and broken start to twitch and crack back into place, limbs bending back from positions they should never be, and then the man sat up, a feral grin on his lips.

(Really fucking bad day for not having my God damn guns.)

[adventuresofalgy]

It was Christmas Eve at last, and Algy was safe at home again!

He couldn't have been more happy, or more excited, for his assistants had given him a fluffy stocking to hang up, in the hope that Father Christmas might visit while he slept, and his magic pumpkin, which was beginning to look quite shrivelled, had turned into a beautiful pumpkin candle once more.

Algy settled down on the soft needles of a Christmas tree with his stocking hanging by his side, and did his best to go to sleep, but he found it awfully difficult… He was just too excited! So he tried reciting that most famous of all Christmas poems, written 200 years ago. He hoped that if he recited it very carefully and very slowly it might help to make him drowsy, for he knew that Santa Claus never visited folk who were wide awake:

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: “Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!” As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the house-top the coursers they flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

[Algy is of course reciting the opening verses of the early 19th century poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, which is more often called The Night Before Christmas. The poem was first published anonymously in 1823 and its author is uncertain.]

[cherryswisherz]

twas the nizzle before christmizzle, when all through the hizzle not a creature was stirring, not even a mizzle

fo shizzle

the stocking caps were worn by the homies with care in hopes that st. nizzle soon would be there

the bitches and hoes were all up snug in their beds while visions of bling sparkled their heads

and mama with her swag, and me in my cap, had just settled down for a long ass nizzle...

when out on the stoop some bitch came around, i sprang from my crip to knock this fool down

awizzle to the window i flew like the flash, tore open this bullshit and threw out the trash

the moon had her fine tiddies glistening on the snow, damn son! now i gotta clean this up too yo

when what to my wondering eyes should appizzle, but a tiny ass sleigh and 8 tiny ass reindizzles

with a little old pimp, so lively and quick, "woah wait hollup one moment, is that st. nick???"

faster than shots in a bar, his homies they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

"yo dasher! hey dancer! damn prancer and vixen! yo come on comet, cupid donder and blitzen! to the windows! to walls! now run bitches! run bitches! goddamn yall!"

but i heard him shout, fore he flew outta sizzle

"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL A GOOD NIZZLE!"

fo shizzle.

merry christmas to evb who celebratesBUT ESPECIALLY to my pookie butts!

@patscorner @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @lovegalor333

i love you guys

[big-mean-trans-dyke]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

One cuntgirl was passed out, her ass in the air, another rolled over with cum in her hair;

I found myself nestled all snug in my bed, while my favorite bedwarmer offered me head;

Then yet one more good girl, watching an app, was dutifully swiping for asses to tap;

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter;

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash;

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a sleigh, and eight cuntgirls dressed as reindeer;

With a tall, well-toned driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nic!

Cunts dripping like faucets her sleigh-girls they came, and she whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

Then with hearts full of duty and eyes to the sky, her reindeer did run, and begin to fly;

So up to the house-top the cuntgirls they flew, with the sleigh full of 'toys', and St. Nicola too:

And then, in a twinkling, I heard up above, the patter of feet, as soft as a dove;

As I drew in my breath, and was turning around, down the chimney St. Nicola came with a bound;

She was dressed in red fur, from her head to her boots, and her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A nice pair of girls she had over her back, and I saw through her pants the outline of her sack;

Her eyes—how they twinkled! Her big tits how plump! Her ass was perfection, my God what a rump! Her droll little mouth was drawn up in a smirk, the corner of her lip turned up with a quirk. I could tell from her bulge she was packing like me, I knew that a transfem, she only could be;

Then on looking closer, I could see with a glance, a soaking of spit left behind on her pants. She'd been humping and fucking, I knew this was true, she'd been gagging her cuntgirls, their faces left blue;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head, soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work, and filled all my stockings, then turned with a jerk;

On leaving those cuntgirls tied under the tree,She turned with a grin and a quick wink for me. Then giving a nod, up the chimney she rose, leaving two virgin cuntgirls, their butts topped with bows;

She sprang to her sleigh, to her team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like a cunt-seeking missile, but I heard her exclaim, 'ere she drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

[lovinglonerhybrid]

I hope y’all are having a happy holidays! Have a little Christmas fic I wrote at work!

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship

Not a creature was stirring, not even ratchet;

The stockings were hung up in quarters with glee,

In hopes that St. Nicholas would leave us something;

The crew were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of energon danced in their heads;

And mags on the bridge, and I on my berth,

Had just finished a shift and was all out of sorts,

When out in the hall there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my berth to see what was the matter.

Away to the doorway I flew like a flash,

Tore open the door and gave a small gasp.

The lights in the hallway were all turned down low,

And the decor was starting to look just like snow,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a human sized sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in that moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the end of the hallway! look out for that wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So down to the bar the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of goodies, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard echo down

The prancing pawing and a jingling sound.

As I slipped through the hallway and looked in the door

Out jumped St.Nick with a bag full of ore.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of goodies he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I gasped when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And placing the goodies he pulled from his sack, he magiced them down without hardly a tap;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Rodimus onlined slowly he powered on his optics and pushed himself off of his berth. The speedster stretched and flared his plating. Rising from his berth he walked to his washrack and turned the solvent on to warm up. The captain stepped back through to his room and paused. The night before Rodimus had all the crew members hang stockings somewhere in their quarters to celebrate the human holiday of Christmas. But there in the stocking the speedster had hung the night before sat what looked like little gifts. Rodimus walked over to the stocking and gently pulled it off his wall. He placed it on his berth and pulled out a package of energon sweets. Some data slugs labeled with human films and a couple new video games. The captain was stunned that someone would give him some gifts especially after how the quest has been going so far. The red speedster repacked his stocking and placed it on his desk to grab later. The mech then walked back to his washrack and took a quick shower. As he left his quarters the mech grabbed the stocking full of little gifts and made his way to swerves for a treat. When he entered the bar the captain was bombarded with laughter and EM fields full of joy. The speedster waded his way to the bar and claimed an empty stool.

“Looks real busy in here this morning swerve what’s the occasion?”

The minibot bartender gave Rodimus a grin and placed a cube full of warmed energon on the bar. “Yeah it’s been hopping since First shift! Everyone woke up with gifts in their stockings and no one’s fessed up yet!”

Rodimus paused and pulled out his stocking “yeah I came down to see if it was just me”

Swerve pulled out his stocking and laughed “nope I heard even old bucket head got something”

Rodimus grabbed the hot energon cube and lifted it to his intake. He watched as swerve was pulled away to serve more customers. The speedster turned and looked out over the bar he saw tailgate and Cyclonus sharing some oil cakes. In a booth Magnus and Megatron looked to be debating something on a shiny new data pad. At a table drift and ratchet sat talking to Rung who was working on a new model. The medic had some new polish on and Rodimus spied some cristal ornaments on drift’s plating. Whirl was bouncing between tables showing off the new decals he got and chromedome and rewind where fiddling with some new camera equipment. As the captain took stock of his crew the bar suddenly fell silent at the sound of the doors slamming open. Brainstorm stood in the entryway, his eyes full of manic glee.

Everybot to the observation deck ASAP!” The jet shouted. Rodimus stood from his seat and watched as the scientist stepped back from the doors and transformed jetting towards the aforementioned deck.

The bar was soon filled with the sounds of scraping chairs and questioning voices. Rodimus clambered his way to the front of the group. The speedster paused at the entrance to the observation deck. In the middle of the room stood a ginormous Christmas tree. Decorated with fancy glass and fuzzy earth animals the tree was lit with strings of multicolored lights that reflected off the glass ornaments giving the whole deck a warm glow. At the back of the tree stood percepter and brainstorm their optics wide. Rodimus slowly approached the tree as he grew closer to the base he saw stacks of gifts nestled under the branches. The room quickly filled up as mechs all quietly filled the room gazing upon the tree with wonder. Rodimus thought back to what he thought was only a dream that night but the tree confirmed the truth. As bots got over their awe and began passing out presents the captain settled in next to drift and gladly accepted his gifts. Out of the corner of his optic Rodimus caught sight of something moving outside of the window. He executed himself and walked over to the viewing area. Flying alongside the ship was a tiny little sleigh and eight reindeer. Sitting in the sleigh sat a human wearing a furry red coat with a large sack in the back area. Rodimus pressed his faceplate to the glass as the sleigh took off into space. Rodimus straightened and looked behind him at all the bots laughing and opening gifts. The speedster smiled casting one last look out the window the captain smiled and rejoined his crew well at this point they were really a big family.

[gurggggleburgle]

Twas the night before skinmas when all through the house everything breathed everything pulsed. Even the mouse.

The stocking were grown from the chimney with care

In hopes that Saint Shizun soon would be there

The skittens were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of tanghulu danced in their heads;

And Shen Jiu in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just surrendered our brains for the long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Unable to open the shutters or throw up the sash.

The moon on the breasts of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to flesh below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight hoof handed skin deer

With a little old driver so lively and skinned,

I knew in on sigh Shizun had desend.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancher! now Prancher and Skinkin!

On, Comhet! on, Skinfan! on, Yingying and Mingyan!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now bleed! Bleed! Consume all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and Shizun too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Shizun crawled to the ground

He was dressed all green from from head to his twelve pronged foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were sunken, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And whites of his eyes glowed like the burning of sleet;

The bow of a present held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a thin face and was thin as twig

When he laughed he looked like he'd snap like a stick.

He was fleshy and long, a proper great master not unlike myself

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Skinmas to all, and to all a good night!”

[xhanelia]

What i feel about you based on your main agent (bad edition)

I will write the requests but i am in my writerblock era so hoping this will cure it. Love u all <33

Brimstone

Please stop smoking our entrance when we are the attackers please i beg you.

You never speak nor listen. We all know your mic and the whole team is either muted or you are basically deaf.

I have never seen a child play him so you are old. I mean old old. Like a dad or smth

Chamber

The chamber nerfs are a delusion you suck either way

Stop spending your whole 800 credit to a pistol that you will forgot for the rest of the game.

"I was in my prime before chamber nerfs guyss!!🤓🤓" Yea yea we get it.

Chyper

Can you stop saying "I kNoW eXAcLY wHErE U ArE" for five seconds?

You cannot aim so you place a setup that is unbreakable to attackers and letting your traps do all the work for you. How smart. (Thats me)

Cannot do shit when the last one left. You get one or two kills with your trap and u die middle of the round.

Deadlock

Stop placing sensors to our back, trying to hold the backsite but enemy can slow walk and bypass you u know? Then you be raging "I PuT a SeNSoR ThErE"

Istg if i get tangled down by your c one more time im gonna ragequit.

Your ult never gets anyone yet there is the whole five of the enemy team.

Fade

Your prowler shows no one, girl. Stop throwing it at the start of the round.

Stop trying to control your c you are losing so much time and its gonna get no one.

Ult when your team is near PLEASE. Its no effective if you are by yourself and scream "FACE YOUR FEAR" bcs you are the one that will be facing it.

Iso

No one mains iso.

Stop smurfing. Its no fun.

Go back to your own league. You coward.

Jett

You are a little child screaming into mic bcs you dashed forward to enemy and died.

Stop sitting onto the keyboard and actually aim maybe you'll get a kill.

Play with the team once. (I hate you with my whole heart)

Kay/o

You either never use your flashes or you blind just your teammates.

Your ult doesnt makes you undying you know? Stop running towards to the enemy like its new paradise.

The most avarage player. Middle fragging the whole game.

Killjoy

Just gives the info, maybe gets one or two kills because of the stupid dasher enemy jett and dies.

That turret be doing no damage if its on your team but be dealing 50+ if its on the enemy team.

Dont just sit there and wait FUCKING ROTATEEEE

Omen (my main)

Stop using c and teleport mid fight. Its no chamber tp or yoru tp. It takes time to teleport and takes time to handle the gun. You are going to die.

That blind hit no one. Stop being delusional and do not push. You are going to die.

If you do not know how to put a smoke when you close the 'astra' mode, do not. Place it slowly if requires. And again, if you dont do it fast enough, you are going to die.

Phoenix

STOP TROLLING YOUR TEAMMATES WITH YOUR MOLLY AND WALL ISTG I HATE YOU

That flash will hit you. It doesnt matter if the phoenix is on the enemy team or on your team. Or worse, both.

You are not that bad, you just need some humanity.

Sage

I hate you if you are an egirl that instalocks sage just to be a pocket sage to your eboy that plays reyna like reyna cannot heal herself. Stop. Also stop talking. Your voice irritates me.

Her voicelines are so unnecessary. Especially the ones at the start of the round.

We all know you are on top of your wall that closes mid. Dont peak. Also, stop throwing slows to OUR entrance.

Sova

Nobody is going to do anything about your arrow that you throw at the start of the round and showed three or four people. The team will still push. Stop trying to learn freaky arrows and waste your time.

Shock dart kill? What is that?

This agent is not friendly for beginners. Stop making your friends that just started the game play sova. They will show no information for you. Even being a pocket sage is better than a new-starter sova.

Viper

Its ok if you do not have linups. But if you do, then we all know that you havent touch the grass for a looong time and you probably smell like her ult. Please shower.

She be no mommy to you. She is kind of woman that rejects chamber, what made you think that she will even let you look at her way?

"Last player standing"

Yoru

Like kay/o. That flash is here only to blind you. Not the enemy.

Taking the spike and going to another site, saying you'll be back to us then will die and make it drop at the farest site possible. Either stop taking the spike or dont do this shit.

You either bottom frag or top frag. There is no in between. And you are probably 12-13 years old.

Astra

I have never seen someone mains, even plays astra.

So i have nothing to say. Im so sorry :(

Your smokes looks pretty tho. Keep it up!

Breach

You are a man that cannot stand woman. If a woman says anything bad about you, you will blind them, hit them with all of your abilities and do whatever it takes to make them unable to play the game. (Totaly not single-handed experience)

I hate your abilities. Very much.

I do not have any good experience about someone that plays this agent. Not a single one. I will dodge the game if someone picks breach no joke.

Gekko

Your molly is useless. I have seen once maybe twice that it kills somebody.

You have so much potential with wingman when you are the last one standing but wingman is the last thing that comes to your mind. Use it.

Why tf that trash is pickable and usable more than once??? Why?? (You are a nice person tho. Cannot move on without saying it.)

Harbor

Players that plays harbor are no joking. They are not here to learn the agent. They MAIN main him. But that doesnt makes a difference because this agent is close to useless.

Tbh he could have been my main if his abilities were a bit more versatile. Its just smoke and smoke. All about closing the sight of enemy. So fucking boring.

I bet if harbor was a girl, there will be so much people that would play him. Either way, he is boring.

Neon

Stop running and jumping around like an autistic.

You will never be able to nail those neon edits that you saw on tiktok. You look like an idiot while running towards enemy and dying first.

I hate her ult.

Raze

You are a child. A problematic one indeed.

Probably siblings with jett mains.

I bet even i could do better satcheling than you. (i have never played raze)

Reyna

I have no words.

Stop instalocking her. You are no useful.

Either top frag and smurf or bottom frag because your friends said that she is strong and you should play her. (0/11 powerspike. Yasuo of valorant.)

Skye

Just like kay/o and yoru. But that flash will hit the whole 10 that plays the game.

PLEASE HEAL I BEG YOU YOU HAVE HEAL PLEASE PRESS C PLEASEEEEEEE

Deserved nerfs tbh.

[azure-aeon-dragonica]

@dasher-flash @dashflashy-arts

Ace Attorney except Bf and Gf are clients and in order to get the grusome twosome to confess their crimes Phoenix and Edgeworth rap battle them in Morse Code

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Reposting (rather than reblogging) my "A Visit From Saint Nicholas is a Dream Narrative" analysis.

(Originally posted 20 December, 2018)

Now, that’s far from proof that Santa Claus is fake (we can certainly have dreams about real people and real events). But it does ... loosen ... the scope of possibilities of how Santa Claus really fulfills his mission, each year (For example, the sleigh and reindeer, and chimney, may all be open to negotiation)

Here, let me break the poem down, and show you how I figured this out:

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

So, the narrator and his family are already in bed and, if he himself is not sound asleep, yet, he’s certainly starting to drift off...

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Wait a minute -- his wife is in the room with him.  If this were really happening in the waking world, wouldn’t she wake up when he opens the window in the middle of the night, and lets in all that cold air (and yell at him for it)? I would.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a lustre of midday to objects below, When what to my wondering eyes did appear, But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer, With a little old driver* so lively and quick, I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky; So up to the housetop the coursers they flew With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too— And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

Okay, this whole thing started in the narrator’s bedroom... And now we’re in the main parlor (I think)? I mean, granted, bedrooms had their own fireplaces, back then. But would the children have hung their stockings on their parents’ private mantle? That seems odd for the waking world. But the sudden shift of location like this happens all the time, in dreams.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

His clothes were covered in soot (from all that chimney bounding), but his beard was pristine (calling back to the snow imagery from before)?

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

If this were happening in the waking world, there is no way the narrator could see Saint Nick get into his sleigh, and it would be very hard, if not impossible, for the narrator to see the sleigh flying away from the roof, while he’s still inside the room.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Happy Christmas** to all, and to all a good night!”

*That explains how he can fit down the chimney so easily: the literary source that gave us the chimney bit of lore also made him tiny enough to fit. It's the fact that we now have fully grown humans acting as Santa Claus's representatives every year that brings in the complications.

**This video, from clothing and fashion historian Abby Cox, explains why this particular version of Santa Claus says "Happy Christmas" instead of Merry Christmas. (~35 minutes. Eye contact. Proper closed captions. BetterHelp sponsorship)

[futuristicsaladparadise]

A Visit from St. Nicholas

BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Florrie and Francie wish you sweet dreams!

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

Val's December Drabbles Day 11/25

Today's word is tradition!

Alex, posed beneath any light source, is beautiful. A spotlight on a stage, casting harsh shadows onto his cheeks in the shape of perfect eyelashes. A camera flash, capturing his dazzling smile and lighting a spark in his molten eyes. Beneath the moonlight, every line of his body bathed in blue, like the very night sky lives beneath his tan skin, stars erupting as freckles on his cheeks. But Alex, washed in the soft, twinkling glow of their Christmas tree as he lies naked on a rug by the fire, is devastating. “New tradition,” he murmurs softly. “Christmas Eve sex.”

Day 1: Merry Day 2: Punch Day 3: Prancer Day 4: Comet Day 5: Poinsettia Day 6: Happy Day 7: Crowds Day 8: Dasher Day 9: Wreath Day 10: Holiday

And you can find the entire series here on AO3!

[lizardlover-skylarglamrock]

A visit from Faz. Nicholas™️

'Twas the night before Christmas

When all through the 'Plex

Not a STAFF bot was stirring, not even a celest';

The stockings were hung by the tree with care,

In hopes that Faz. Nicholas soon would be there;

The bots were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of performing danced in their heads;

And Chica in her 'kerchief, and Freddy in his cap,

Had just settled their minds for a long winter's nap-

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

Freddy sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the door he flew like a flash,

Tore open the garages, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;

When, what to his wondering eyes appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny DJ-deer

With a little old driver, so lively and quick, he knew in a moment it must be Faz. Nick.

More rapid than STAFF bots his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!

"On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen!

"To the top of the 'Plex! To the top of the wall!

"Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the rooftop the coursers they flew

With a sleigh full of toys and Faz. Nicholas too-

And then, in the twinkling, Freddy heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As he drew in his head, and was turning around,

Down the elevator Faz. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with oil and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes- how they twinkled! His freckles, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as snow;

The stump of a pipe held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And Freddy laughed when he saw him, in spite of himself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave Freddy to know he had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the elevator he rose;

He sprang into his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they flew like a STAFF bot official.

But Freddy heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"

[marinaslibrary]

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads,

And Mama in her kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap-

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow

Gave a luster of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

“Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blixen!

To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away, all!”

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim ‘ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

[burgerking-official]

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Burger King

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the oven with care,

In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,

Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,

With a little old driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be Saint Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of toys, and Saint Nicholas too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly

That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“A Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

Merry Christmas, everyone. : )