#darth maul is the night king

[jessebatson]

Game of Thrones may have had problems, especially in explaining the origins of The Night King, but he was a very interesting villain. The Night King can turn young male babies into White Walkers, essentially ice zombies. He can raise corpses, converting them, too. Plus, anything he touches (or even in his vicinity) turns cold. To top it off, he's got more strength than the average person. The only reason he was even defeated was because Arya Stark used Valyrian steel to stab him. Darth Maul is one of the villains from the Star Wars universe that hasn't been explored as much on the big screen, though he brought the fight to Darth Vader in other mediums. No matter what version you are looking at, Darth Maul is a skilled fighter, able to use aspects of the Dark Side to his advantage. Pairing that up with his lightsaber skills makes him an incredible threat. While Valyrian steel does kille White Walkers, I'm not sure what a lightsaber would do. Could Night King overcome something so intensely hot? It's possible. Then again, Night King never showed the speed or agility (or even the combat skills) that Darth Maul has. Perhaps Maul could overcome the Night King with all of that, disarming him of his sword, and plunging his lightsaber forward? I don't think this is a stomp, but maybe you feel differently. It's a fairly even match in my book, but I do think Darth Maul has enough skills and power and weaponry to defeat The Night King. Winner: Darth Maul

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

i just wanted to say that I love your fics about Darth Maul, especially the King of the Dragonfish one! I’m not usually a fanfic person, but I’ve really been enjoying reading the ones you’ve written. I was wondering if you have any other writers or fanfics that you’d recommend with Darth Maul in them? I feel like you’d have good taste, and I’ve been on the hunt for more Maul content recently.

you bet! i recommend @sl-walker, @shadowmaat, @blackkatmagic, @nicolabarth, @withercrown, @- oh gods, you know? this list is actually really long. there's probably at least ten more names, easy. we have some incredible maul & star wars writers on here, and more on ao3 that i don't know the tumblr handle of off the top of my head.

if there's specific kinds of content you're after, i might be able to narrow it down for you further, whether you're looking for the night market type stuff, or long adventure stories...

if you're just looking for maul in general, here's a link to my 130 title darth maul collection on ao3: (don't forget to read the tags, haha... ha...)

https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Darth_Maul_Collection/bookmarks

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

(actually.... if anyone has maul reqs just straight up @me, <3 )

[disabilityshowdown]

Disability Showdown Full Bracket

Alright! No more mystery, we've got our list for the tournament!

For people new to this tournament, how this works is this: We narrowed our character list down from about 600 to 131 (it was gonna be 128 but we had three ties, so those have been reworked into three-character polls). The top 64 have been seeded into the bracket by number of nominations. The bottom 67 however, all got roughly the same amount of nominations, so those have been assigned places via random number generator, to remove any bias that I the poll runner may have about which characters I want to succeed

(I am so sorry if your obscure blorbo ends up against a super popular kid in round one, that's unfortunately the luck of the draw here, but I am keeping a record of characters that lose but whose fans fight the hardest for them, and we may do something with those kids later, so it's still worth campaigning for your faves!)

I will make an image for the bracket once we get past the first round or two, but right now I have no idea how to make a visual bracket containing 131 characters, upload it to tumblr, and still have it be at all useful

So for the first round, I'll just give the matchups by name, in a list under the cut. We'll be working through this list 8 polls at a time (my pinned post will stay updated with the current 8 once the tournament starts), and good luck everyone!

Eda Clawthorne (Owl House) vs Cassandra Cain (DC)

Hiccup and Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon) vs Peppermint (Hi-Fi Rush)

Barbara Gordon (DC) vs Demoman (Team Fortress 2)

Toph Beifong (Avatar: the Last Airbender) vs Finn Tidestrider (Just Roll With It)

Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Red (Pokemon)

Ashton Greymoore (Critical Role) vs Walter White Jr (Breaking Bad)

Finn Mertens (Adventure Time) vs Wade Wilson (Marvel)

Kitty Softpaws (Puss in Boots) vs Jean Havoc (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Matt Murdock (Marvel) vs Ellen (The Witch's House)

Clint Barton (Marvel) vs Maedhros (The Silmarillion)

Nicholas Benedict (The Mysterious Benedict Society) vs Jancy True (Drawtectives)

Donatello (TMNT: Rise, IDW) vs Black Raisin Cookie (Cookie Run)

Octavio Silva (Apex Legends) vs Dr Carmilla (The Mechanisms)

Crutchie (Newsies) vs Nemo (Finding Nemo)

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Renarin Kholin (Stormlight Archives)

Amaya (The Dragon Prince) vs Long John Silver (Treasure Planet)

Charles Xavier (Marvel) vs Dagen Underthorn (Critical Role)

Viktor (Arcane) vs Cecil Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale)

Taimi (Guild Wars 2) vs Eli Vance (Half Life)

Johnny Joestar (JJBA) vs Floofty Fizzlebean (Bugsnax)

Vash the Stampede (Trigun Stampede) vs Sunny (OMORI)

Drey Ferin (Just Roll With It) vs Kizuna Chieda (AI: The Somnium Files)

Geordi LaForge (Star Trek) vs Phosphophyllite (Houseki No Kuni)

Kaz Brekker (Six of Crows) vs Zuko (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Melanie King (The Magnus Archives) vs Eugenides (Queen's Thief)

Snake (Zero Escape) vs Malenia (Elden Ring)

Future Leo (ROTTMNT) vs Edgar Jomfru (Metalocalypse)

Janice Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) vs Jet Black (Cowboy Bebop)

Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) vs Wylan Van Eck (Six of Crows) vs Linh Cinder (Lunar Chronicles)

Alphonse Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Peter Sqloint (Just Roll With It)

Bucky Barnes (Marvel) vs All Might (Boku No Hero Academia)

Della Duck (Ducktales) vs Maya Lopez (Marvel)

Jayfeather (Warrior Cats) vs Isabella Paretti (ValorPUNK)

Shouko Nishimiya (A Silent Voice) vs Gary Goodspeed (Final Space)

Violet Evergarden (Violet Evergarden) vs Brightheart (Warrior Cats)

Briarlight (Warrior Cats) vs Jinx (Arcane)

Ticket Jerry (Dialtown) vs Darth Maul (Star Wars)

Yang Xiao Long (RWBY) vs Dulcinea Septimus (Locked Tomb)

Ricky Potts (Ride the Cyclone) vs Helena Adams (Identity V) vs Antonio (Identity V)

Jimmy Valmer (South Park) vs Vanellope (Wreck-It Ralph)

Terezi Pyrope (Homestuck) vs Sam Vimes (Discworld)

Bruno Madrigal (Encanto) vs Custas (Witch Hat Atelier)

Gregory House (House MD) vs Gunthrie Miggles-Rashbax (Dimension 20)

Moon Knight (Marvel) vs Splinter (TMNT)

Shanks (One Piece) vs Goro Majima (Yakuza)

Chai (Hi-Fi Rush) vs Maria Robotnik (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Kazuhira Miller (Metal Gear Solid) vs Sir Marc (Penumbra Podcast)

Izaya Orihara (Durarara) vs Hermann Gottlieb (Pacific Rim)

Finnegan Wake (Monster High) vs Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)

Frankie Stein (Monster High) vs Charlotte Webber (Marvel)

Sage Beldaruit (Witch Hat Atelier) vs Susie (Flight Rising)

Urakawa Mamoru (Mega Man) vs Undyne (Undertale)

Teo (Avatar: the Last Airbender) vs Gazelle (Kingsman)

Tavros Nitram (Homestuck) vs Dunban (Xenoblade Chronicles)

Hearthstone (Magnus Chase) vs Gabriella (Little Mermaid)

Tony Stark (Marvel) vs Mera Salamin (Epithet Erased)

Rani (Pixie Hollow) vs Haruka Sakurai (MILGRAM)

Wilt (Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) vs Handy (Happy Tree Friends)

Izumi Curtis (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs Nog (Star Trek: DS9) vs Spock (Star Trek: Discovery)

Juno Steel (Penumbra Podcast) vs Merle Highchurch (The Adventure Zone)

Furiosa (Mad Max) vs Massimo (Luca)

Bentley (Sly Cooper) vs Symmetra (Overwatch)

Quasimodo (Hunchback of Notre Dame) vs Cyborg (Teen Titans)

Nagito Komaeda (Dangan Ronpa) vs Link (Legend of Zelda)

[realmsofgames]

Tens of thousands of knights have been executed. The royal houses from across the land send their bravest sons to the boy king's court, lamenting their inevitable demise. "I will serve you to my utmost ability, my liege" states knight after knight as they try to avert their eyes from the men being executed to their side. The boy king rattles "the battlepass is ending! You are no knight!" as the stone faced executioner swings his blade. Some are sent to the dungeons to grind fortnite, some to the tower to meet their end in apex, all of them dread the day when they will watch fresh recruits swear fealty as they too face execution. Late at night, when the king's men are asleep, honorbound knights whisper. "The northern lords march on our capital and we're meant to idle behind our battlements?" questions one of the new knights. "The armies of the north have long since penetrated our keep, boy" replies a veteran knight as he raises the visor of his hounskull helm. "There lad" he adds, gesturing to the screen where their brother knights are hurridly consuming chug jugs, hoping to secure a victory royale for the boy king. A knight in regal golden plate pilots Darth Maul into the closing circle, "ONE MORE!" he shouts. The dungeon is alight with anticipation, if he can defeat the last remaining player, the battlepass will be complete and he might live to see another day. Just as their spirits begin to rise their hopes are crushed in an instant by the crack of a sniper's rifle. Darth Maul falls to the ground as Jonesy griddys on his holographic corpse. The screen displays "#2 downed by NorthNeverLoses4689." A the beginning of the war men would have cried, shouted out in rage, or consoled the poor bastard, but the same story has been told countless times and all the knights can muster is a look of shame and a nod to the man who would meet with the executioner in the morning. "Again!?" shouts the veteran knight as he looks over the screen. "That same northern bastard hasn't lost a single battle royale yet...." he mutters. It seems that, despite the deaths of his brothers, the aged knight has almost come to respect the flawless record of the northern warrior. "Who is he...?" he asks himself.

In the frigid north a blizzard assails a lone castle. The guards and servants are nowhere to be seen. The amber hue of a flame emitting from a portal at the highest point in the castle watchtower is the only sign that the fortification is inhabited at all. "BUHHHHH HEHEHEH." A simple minded chuckle echoes from the tower. A northern simpleton grips his sodacan cock and tugs on it as he celebrates his 900th victory royale. "I liiiike this game buhuhhhhh" the simpleton remarks as he chews upon a flank steak with his mouth agape.

In the capital the boy king shrieks "the battlepass is ending! THE BATTLEPASS IS ENDING!!!" and the executioner hefts his blade once more.

[terriblyrenderedenigma]

Darth maul be upon ye, the long awaited (probably) Part 2

FINALLY I return to finish my thoughts about the homie maul. Who knows if my writing can all fit, I don't even know the tumblr rules for writing lmao. So this is gonna be like Maul's loving style, and shit like. Mmm. Aat least how I think about it. Enjoy lmao. Part 2 of 2 (I wrote a lot) Warnings: None. (I think)

"I'm frustrated that my words cannot accurately describe your allure, the feeling of power that rolls off you in the same way waves crash against a shore, the way… just the way you live and breathe! It's as if the entire universe was meant to bow at your feet and sing your praises. At the end of time, if no soul takes your side, I will. Know even in your darkest nights and bleakest days that among the stars, there is a heart that beats for you and all you are. No matter what atrocity you claim to be. You told me you were a monster when we first met. Maybe I still need to see it. You still need to show me… Perhaps I'm a fool, letting my heart bleed for you. But even then in the scourge of your wrath, I would be there to wipe the sweat from your brow in the midst of your misdeeds to the galaxy." -Another bit of a letter about homie Maul. Love writing about this bitch.

Okay so Maul is the KING of slow burn. No fuckin doubt about it. Wanna know why? Trust. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to Maul. He has to trust you, he has to know you aren't selling him out to his enemies. Because maker knows he's probably got a ton of 'em. The Jedi are on his ass, fuckin Palpatine, I mean, you try trusting someone in a galaxy against you huh? It takes him a while to trust you, and then some extra time to warm up on loving you. You probably won't even notice when he starts liking you because at most he'll probably not be so harsh with you. Maybe he'll use less insults, or won't glare so much at you, but he will definitely hide it behind some 'you are the only one who has not tested my ire' type shit. I mean he's so emotionally constipated he probably won't even know what he's feeling when he's around you and will try to beat his feelings out of his system by training or meditating. SO I take a pinch of my previous statement back. I have a feeling this guy is hostile (or at least passive aggressive) to everyone at first no matter what the circumstance. So, Enemies to lovers slow burn king. (which is Ironic because I am not good at slow burn skjhdlskj) When he FINALLY gets over his emotional constipation and gets a brick to the face with realization that he is crushing and crushing HARD, he is going to slowly start courting you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry but he's a total fucking loser when it comes to romance and it shows. Like his anger may fuel up around you again because he doesn't know how to talk to you, what to talk to you about, or how to get closer to you without seeming weak or you know...anything like that. But like, the efforts he does make are so pathetically obvious and strangely out of character for him (and objectively, it's kind of cute watching him stumble over himself) you can't help but be swayed by his...'seduction tactics.' But YOU. You have to be the one to ask him on a date. Because he's just. He's too prideful okay? Stooping to such LOWS like...Affection. He grows out of that, don't worry. But like when you do ask him he's fucking floored. Almost literally. He has to keep himself calm and not trip over his word's and he's like "okay, let me choose an adequate location for us to be alone so that it doesn't seem like I'm showing any kind of weakness" Or something along those lines. He might accidentally insult you but please be patient he is legit trying his best. Outside of that when you finally have him wifed up (/hj) he is still awkward, new to this but trying his best. Don't expect him to be affectionate anywhere outside of his bedroom until he's comfortable with showing off you or this 'new side' to anyone. It doesn't mean he spends no time with you otherwise, it means his affections will be reserved to hushed whispers and small favors. Perhaps this manifests through seeking you out in the corridors, or providing you with little gifts that would appear meaningless to anybody else. It may take a while for his affections to become grander in the open, but one day it would happen. Unless you tried to force it out of him before he was ready then you're probably gone. He would make a laughing stock out of anyone who claimed affections for another were foolish and made him weak. NO. Hell no. He's soft for you but he can still kick ass. Obviously. I'm sure he would be rather possessive, I just know he would fear losing you. He absolutely uses that as a reason to usually be touching you in some way. Pinky fingers linked, his foot nudging yours, etc. He doesn't want to wake up and find you gone, find that all of this was for naught and dreams and peace really don't exist for him. He would spend as much time as he could learning everything about you. He would be so fucking devoted to you it would make your head spin. He'd know your favorite color, flower, time of day, place to be, things to eat, and he'd keep everything you didn't like away from you. To the best of his ability at least.

Went a little hard with this one, stuffed it full with as many words as I could lol. Hope you enjoyed. Spice may be available later upon request, here's the first part.

Until next time!

Ciao~ -Enigma

[that-gay-jedi]

Fics I'd want to write but already have too many WIPs to even contemplate adding more to the fucking folder (posting concepts in the hopes they stop haunting me from underneath the floorboards), mostly crossovers:

Fix-it that's just Jedi reading children's books to smol Anakin. It starts when some kind and wise soul lends Obi-Wan The Snow Cat to help him and Anakin talk about grief in the wake of Qui-Gon's death. They help him explore his relationship to prophecy/destiny via The Paper Bag Princess. Room on the Broom to challenge win-lose thinking. Etc. As an adult, he asks Obi-Wan to reread The Velveteen Rabbit with him if he ever gets self-conscious after losing his arm and then we all cry.

Anakin gets therapy but it's inspired by Poe's The Premature Burial, like, they carefully and repeatedly and with plenty of emotional support etc expose him to a simulated reality in which he experiences losing everyone he loves but structured in such a way as to reduce the fear of it rather than make it more frightening, and Anakin thinks his prophecy nightmares of Obi-Wan dying are just (a very ineffective and unpleasant) part of the therapy until he complains and somebody on his care team goes "Wait, what?" which leads to Sidious getting discovered.

The Happy Man's Shirt but make it Vaderwan. Emperor Vader just wants to keep Luke from dying of melancholy, but now he's reluctantly learned a life lesson from a shirtless Obi-Wan and it's making him rethink this whole Sith Empire thing. I'm insane and there's something wrong with me.

Crossover with Were The World Mine (movie). Same age AU with Anakin as Timothy and Obi-Wan in a similar ish role to Jonathan (yes I know Obi-Wan isn't a jock but hear me out), Ahsoka as Frankie and Rex as Max, utter fucking chaos, what Timothy does with the flower is already such an Anakin move tbh

Shakespeare's Tempest but make it Vaderwan, with Vader turning away from the dark side being like Prospero breaking his staff. All about Letting Go(tm). Darth Vader redemption but with so much Force philosophy you'll want to stuff a sock in my mouth.

Crossover w/ The Last Unicorn. Sidious or Dooku as King Haggard, Anakin and Obi-Wan as Molly Grue and Schmendrick or alternatively as Amalthea & Prince Lir, Maul as the Red Bull, honestly *slaps roof* this baby can fit so many reinterpretations/explorations of all our favourite themes in it

Crossover with Celia S. Friedman's Coldfire Trilogy (When True Night Falls, Black Sun Rising, and Crown of Shadows). Listen, are you someone who ever thought it's hypocritical of Christians not to pray for/forgive/empathize with the Devil? Would you go nuts if a fantasy-brand priest homoerotically did exactly that? Okay now what if Anakin was the fantasy-brand Devil (eldritch af) and Obi-Wan risked his own beliefs/moral purity/etc for him, and they were magically connected and intextricably linked, all while the rough equivalent of the Force on their planet was trying to kill them and/or trying to communicate with them (it's complicated)?

Sailor Moon but make it obikin, because we all want to see the horror of Artoo doing Luna's job lmfao.

Crossover with Steph Swainston's Fourlands series (The Year of Our War, No Present Like Time, The Modern World etc). This one would have everything. Obikin with anidala parallels, Anakin making morally objectionable choices, horrifying combat scenes, Star Wars galactic politics meets the weirdest worldbuilding you've ever seen, blasphemy and sacrilege, needless theatrics in the midst of apocalyptic threats, wingfic tropes, idek how else to describe it but we are so missing out.

I'm sure more of these are gonna come smack me upside the head at some point but luckily for all of us I'm only haunted by things I read/watched 5+ years ago and eventually we'll run out of those.

[wlwanakin]

lets do obi wan, padme, Leia for character ask meme

obi-wan:

how i feel about this character: it’s complicated!! i love him and find him fascinating but i think there is too much of him everywhere and far too much of that is blatantly incorrect about him and due to that and how under-acknowledged his faults are i tend to go through seasonal intervals where i think he should be killed with a gun. but i love him mostly

all the people i ship romantically with this character: ventress, quinlan vos, darth maul a bit, i guess i tolerate his thing with satine. i’m not particularly serious about any of these though it’s just fun

my non-romantic otp for this character: i dislike this term! the dynamic that intrigues me the most is his dynamic with anakin but no way in hell am i calling that any kind of “otp”

my unpopular opinion about this character: he is not as important to anakin as y’all make him out to be. he is very important don’t get me wrong but like damn y’all love to make him #1. he’s not #1!! at all!!

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: i wish padmé had yelled at him just once

my otp: ventrobi <3 i like to think they have had extremely weird drunk bdsm sex as power play <3

my crossover ship: don’t have one

a headcanon fact: this will perhaps tie everything i’ve been saying together but mostly for my own amusement i really run with the “jedi are allowed to fuck” thing and hc that obi-wan essentially does the exact opposite of catholic celibacy and is the king of lackluster meaningless one-night stands. he fucks so much. this is of course very virtuous because there is no romantic desire involved. he would NEVER have post-marital sex that’s a sin

padmé:

how i feel about this character: LOVE OF MY LIFE. top 3 star war. i love her more and more every time i get back into it. this hyperfixation resurgence was mostly about her from the start i can’t stop writing fics in her pov

all the people i ship romantically with this character: anakin. and dormé a little bit. sometimes sabé if i’m in the mood

my non-romantic otp for this character: does sabédala count for this? it’s romantic but unrequited and i find it boring to change that and i love thinking about padmé’s side of it regardless so i guess it counts

my unpopular opinion about this character: her death is mostly fine!! people are always complaining about her death but i think it works conceptually and was executed fine. could’ve been better but i’m not losing sleep about it. her surviving would’ve been stupid bc she’s dead in the ot and i’d rather her death be on-screen and impactful like every male main character who dies

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: i need to see her grieve cordé and versé more!! those deaths haunt her and you can’t tell me otherwise and not even queen’s hope gave me any details on her grief and that pisses me off so bad. show me her grief!!!!

my otp: anidala <3

my crossover ship: don’t have one

a headcanon fact: in my heart and soul i know she’s a vegetarian. if you show me something that contradicts this i will ignore you. she also gets periodically so weird about food because she is a control freak and this is worsened by the vegetarianism. and sometimes she cannot go to the market because she will have an ethical dilemma about how the food is sourced that is so debilitating she simply does not buy anything. being a child queen gave her ocd <3

leia:

how i feel about this character: I LOVE HER!! she is one of my favorites in the ot <3 i dressed up as her for halloween when i was like six

all the people i ship romantically with this character: pretty much just han lmao. but every time i see people ship her with a woman i’m like “yeah i see it” so i also support leia yuri on principle

my non-romantic otp for this character: once again dislike this term!! bc my favorite non-romantic dynamic she has is with luke!! and i’m not calling that a ship in any sense!!

my unpopular opinion about this character: i don’t really have one?

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon: i feel like i can’t answer this bc i don’t read enough ot stuff and it might just turn out anything i say did in fact happen in something i didn’t read

my otp: hanleia

my crossover ship: don’t have one

a headcanon fact: as a child she was really into a space equivalent of american girl dolls. her normalest childhood hobby was collecting a bunch of fucking…alderaanian girl dolls i guess and she would carry whichever one she was most excited about around and tell any adult willing to listen about the historical context the doll was supposed to come from in detail

[ahshla]

'Although He Smiles' Playlist

Okay, so I'm a film music junkie, and I love to compile playlists for my fics as much as the next writer, so I made an OST for AHS on Spotify: Although He Smiles.

AND because I overanalyse everything, allow me to categorise every song therein.

Opening Titles (from Raised By Wolves) — if AHS were a TV series, I'd want this to be the main theme. The vibe/lyrics are immaculate.

Ahsoka Tracks:

Ahsoka Tano

Anakin and Padmé

Ahsoka Lives

Five Millennia Later

Battle Over Coruscant

X-HZT

Padmé's Rumination

Martha Triumphant

A New Home

Laura

The Power of Prophecy

Obi-Wan Tracks:

Guardians of the Whills Suite

Anakin and Padmé

Episode I - The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral

Anakin Tracks:

Anakin's Theme

Toy Planes, Home and Hearth

Axiom

Anakin is Free

Don't Be What They Made You

Not Today

Prequel/SW Vibes:

The Droid Invasion and the Appearance of Darth Maul

Queen Amidala and the Naboo Palace

Panaka and the Queen's Protectors

Anakin is Free

Episode I - The High Council Meeting and Qui-Gon's Funeral

Yoda and the Younglings

Departing Coruscant

Qui-Gon's Noble End

Augie's Municipal Band

The Meadow Picnic

Love Pledge and the Arena

Confrontation with Count Dooku and Finale

Battle of the Heroes

The Force is with You

Family Vibes Tracks:

Toy Planes, Home and Hearth

Axiom

All That Love's About

Nemo Egg (Main Title)

No Following

The Force:

Premonition

Dust

I See You in My Dreams

What Happens Now

The Stranger Tracks:

Bene Gesserit

The Impossible Planet

Rose Defeats the Daleks

My Road Leads into the Desert

Stranded

Don't Be What They Made You

Miscellaneous Tracks:

The Night King

The Daleks

Dr. Ford

[imaginationstimulation]

MATTRESS COUNTRY by Travis Dahlke

1.

Brandon is staying home tonight with his NutriBullet blade replacement scam despite promising he’d drive us to the rich neighborhood with the king-sized candy. Despite it being the final Halloween before the world ends as the Mayan prophecy comes to fruition in December. 

The sidewalk to Gia’s is summer rotting across cement. The air is filled with trampled and browning weeds, men roasting meat in crockpots, the smell of beetle shells. The leaves still have a little green in their veins. Each vinyl-sided person from each vinyl-sided ranch says, “Aren’t you guys a little old to be out here?”

Maris ducks into Rite-Aid where her ex-boyfriend works and emerges with two knock-off masks beneath her hoodie. She says he’s still totally in love with her, except now Maris is Space Satan (Darth Maul). 

“You’re Nightmare Man,” she says (Freddy Krueger). 

Both men are technically hundreds of years old. 

Gia’s grandfather tells a ghost story while we wait for her to become Used Car Salesman, wrapping her dead tooth’s replacement denture in foil from a Dove chocolate. I watch through Nightmare Man’s slitted nostrils as her grandfather reheats chowder, whisking congealed skin with a knife. 

“It was November of 1941,” Gia’s grandfather says. “Barnum came to Manchester and I swear the whole town turned inside out to see that circus. Me and some other boys, corner boys they called us, especially Patrick Muldoon’s mother—she still lives around here somewhere—each made five cents to help dig holes for the tent.” 

Gia’s grandfather aims his knife at the window. Coughs backward. Gathers his voice. 

“That night, aunt winter paid herself a visit.”

Kids make turkey calls outside. In his search for candy, Gia’s grandfather’s entire body creaks away from the room.

I say, “Everyone knows that stupid story about the circus tiger freezing to death and getting buried.” 

“I know, my sister said the tiger’s like right under the Shell Station across the street from Little Thinkers Montessori,” Space Satan says.

“You’re wrong. It’s in Riverfront Park. My grandfather helped dig the hole to bury the tiger himself. He’s just delicate about it,” Used Car Salesman says. 

“In a couple months, that tiger and your grandpa and everything anyone ever tried to hide will be dust,” I say.

2.

We walk to Brandon’s house to hiss tiger sounds and scratch at his window. His computer screen makes his shut blinds glow. A window over, his mom wears a New Year’s Eve fedora while having sex with Brandon’s dad on the couch. We empty their entire bowl of 3 Musketeers into monogrammed L.L. Beans. We draw tiger claws in the condensation of Brandon’s car’s windshield, then weave back through little Hulks, ladybugs, and babies dressed as Steve Irwin. 

In the park, we watch the sun fall apart into an unnamed river. Space Satan uses her thumb and forefinger to unscrew a NO DUMPING sign that guards the bed of rust-eaten washing machines. Some mattresses. One perfectly intact office chair.

“It’s for my sister’s dorm,” she says, tucking the sign under her arm. “She promised me twenty-bucks.” 

We loiter in the Shell’s yellow to try and warm up. Leftover air conditioning pulls at my arm hair. I reposition my mask in the security mirror.

“Can I just, like, have this?” Used Car Salesman asks the Shell cashier, holding up a bag of Twizzlers.

I ask if he ever hears the tiger clawing at his floor. Then this lady at the ATM dressed as nothing says it was somewhere, but definitely not this lot, and it wasn’t a tiger; it was a clown. After a few minutes of her trying to remember, Used Car Salesmen unwraps her dead tooth to read the fortune on the Dove wrapper. 

“You guys, you’re not gonna believe this,” she says. 

3.

I walk home alone. For some reason the street is totally wet. I peel Nightmare Man’s face off, which is also wet, and stake him onto the spike that held the NO DUMPING sign. A threat to all other Nightmare Men who dare trespass. And instead of turning to dust, the pharmacy rubber endures through Thanksgiving, the sleet of Christmas, and it’s still there come springtime, when horseflies mistake the gross synthetic red for real meat. People are too scared to dump anything in the river now. A newspaper reporter is writing an article about the head on the stick. How it mysteriously appeared one day. How it’s a talisman. A sign from above. How the daffodils are returning to the riverbed and in a few years it’ll be safe enough to swim in again. 

[via x-ray lit.]

[darnloveablecharacters]

Theory Time

I know it has been said before many times, and with many different versions but I couldn’t find anything that did a deep dive into the fact that it could actually be possible. So... here’s my version. I would love to hear other theories or holes you find in my line of thinking here! I will be unfortunately be working from the Game of Thrones TV series since the books are not yet complete.

DARTH MAUL IS ACTUALLY THE NIGHT KING

****Spoilers for Star Wars EU and Game of Thrones ahead****

Gif aren’t mine 😊

Update: Play This Song while reading....

1)      Appearance

I will admit that I wonder if they were fully aware of The Night King’s resemblance to Darth Maul at the time but... this requires no further review so moving on.

2)      Timeline – This is legitimately the biggest stretch I had to make for this to work

All we know, is that the events of Star Wars took place “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

The events of Game of Thrones, as well as placement, is unclear so it could be safe to say that it happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…. But in the opposite direction.

3)      The Actual Theory

Let’s start with Maul. He cheated death, in the craziest ways throughout the entire EU because the Force and hate and will to live and such. Seriously, just when you think he’s gone… boom… he’s over there yelling:

The question that one would ask is…. Why? Well, Obi-Wan needed him in his life for things to play out as they did. Let’s review key moments:

Qui-Gon’s death – now Obi-Wan is a Knight and will train Anakin.

Satine’s death – the one person that would have the highest chance of making him question his position with the Order, only seemed to solidify his resolve, ensuring he would be around to face Anakin.

Their Last Battle – “Tell me, is it the chosen one?” Even on that day he thought he was fighting for vengeance, but do we actually believe that he existed for any reason other than to ensure events would carry on as they did? That would mean that he could only leave that plane of existence when it was certain that Luke would follow his intended path.

Now…. I REALLY wish I knew what source this came from, I got it off Wookiepedia and it just works so dad diddly gum perfect.

Some years after the Battle of Endor, Maul's remains were discovered by the Iridonian scientist Drell Kahmf, who maintained the former Sith Lord's brain within a bacta tank. Kahmf was able to connect Maul's consciousness to a solid-state hologram program that developed an apparition of the Zabrak warrior. Upon the intervention of Luke Skywalker, however, Maul was removed from the galaxy for good.

LUKE REMOVED HIM FROM THE GALAXY FOR GOOD. 

mmkay, it didn’t say he was returned to the Force so where the eff did Luke send him?

"Then darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time, and I wandered far on roads that I will not tell."

—Darth Lord Night King Maul (actually Gandalf the White, don’t judge me I’m a friggin nerd.)

At the exact same moment, in an attempt to create an army to defend their homeland, The Children of the Forest kill a First Man who becomes: Night King Maul. A shadow of what he once was, he is neither living nor dead. He is still powerful though, remember he spent time with the Nightsister Mother Talzin? Theoretically, because he is not technically alive his control of the Force is diminished; however, assuming he picked up her techniques, he would be able to use their magick and it would thrive with his connection to death. We’ll come back to that though…

Now, being who he is… instead of helping the Children, he leads the White Walkers against them in an attempt to effectively take over the world. They lose the War for the Dawn and retreat, ultimately fading into legend and prompting the creation of the wall. Remember after he got chopped in half by Obi-Wan and we all assumed he was dead for some weird reason? Yeah…

This simply had to happen for the timeline to play out as the Force willed it. 😊

Now… 8,000 years pass and again, being who he is, he’s still alive and he spent that time refining his skills. The Nightsisters powers revolve around illusion and deception. With 8,000 years to refine the skill of illusion you could see this powerful Sith Lord finding a way to make it more than that. Power over the weather? Really not much of a stretch with that much time on your hands.

The Necromancy is the biggest connection to the Nightsister magick though… specifically the eye color. When Nightsister Merrin raises her zombie sisters, their eyes are the biggest giveaway to what they are as they all share the same ghostly green color. Darth Night King’s zombies all share the same ghostly blue eyes. We can argue the color difference but realistically, he’s a not quite alive and not quite dead dude who had 8,000 years to work on this. He is blue now so... make them blue.

Now, to the events of the Song of Ice and Fire: we don’t really get a sense of his true return until the moment Jon Arryn dies and everything basically goes to hell in a handbasket. And so, he begins to fulfill his purpose and I’ll only review, again, three moments.

Jon Snow – When they evacuate Hardhome, Lord Night King Maul has brought his army of undead and Jon Snow becomes only the second in known history to kill a white walker, confirming that valerian steel works too. However, as they’re leaving the Night King makes a show to raise all of the fallen, giving Jon enough information about his power to possibly defend against it. Not the best tactical move in my opinion…. But it was pretty dang cool looking.

Bran Stark – He would have stayed in that cave for like 100 years… but King Maul said “nope” and tried to kill him after Bran connected with him in a vision. This forced Bran back to Winterfell as the Starks reunited and, with their combined information, began the final preparations for the last battle.

The Battle of Winterfell – What else would have brought everyone else together than an epic battle for mankind? Seriously, if the White Walkers hadn’t returned to the world at the exact time they did… Jon would have never left the wall, the free folk wouldn’t have come south, Bran would still be chilling in a cave and probably be a tree, Sansa and Arya probably would have eventually been killed by the Lannisters and then Daenerys would have come in and eventually leveled the Seven kingdoms. The most important moment here is the silent conversation between Night Maul and Bran which I assume goes something like this. “Are you the chosen one?” “Yup.” Cue Arya because he knows he’s fulfilled his purpose.

What is the true connection here? Darth Maul and the Night King were never the main antagonist. Instead, they were both present to harden and guide the protagonists, Obi-Wan and the Starks, setting the path for The Chosen One to win the fight against the true enemy. Political Corruption.

Why did I just write a 1000 word essay on this you ask? Honestly, I just had this random amusing vision of at the end it all… Bran is meditating and Force ghost Luke appears at his side. Bran knows who he is, because he’s his brother born out of purpose. The only words spoken between them as they look over a now peaceful kingdom is Luke saying “Good job” with absolute pride.

G.R.R.M, I know you will probably never see this, but it could be legitimately be the end of the book… just saying 😊

[louellawilla]

The sexy villain strut!

[o-kurwa]

[starwarsfangirl]

[wookiee-monster2]

Darth Night King

Star Wars Game Of Thrones mashup

art by BossLogic via Instagram

[ringringhookaringring]

“Ice Breakers, Stay Cool”

[ghstkatt]

I think the Night king from GOT is an Alolan version of Darth Maul, what do think hmmm. 🤪