#darn things are just too expensive...

[nei-ning]

Now that dream post which I mentioned before (23.11.2024)

I was in tiny mall with my brother when he took me to this small room which had maybe 6 to 10 terrariums. In first big terrarium was brown snake which had soft shell turtle's face. He wanted me to hold it for a some reason even that I really didn't want to do it. Note: I'm NOT afraid of snakes and have hold them before in real life!

We came out of this tiny room on bigger opening and this older woman, who was the owner of the snakes, came to me. I said I would rather hold a boa if she had any. She smiled and told me to wait, leaving. Soon she came back, holding green snake who had yellow little stripes going around the body.

She gave the snake to me and this snake instantly turned to look up at me, my face, eye contact. It instantly had this super adorable, warm and soft energy / feeling to it. Like it wanted to be your best friend right away, loving you unconditionally already. She said to me:

"This is boa. His name is Suwabe."

I was instantly blown away but heck happy too! This snake, right away, was so full of calmness and warmth, very friendly too! I had a chair behind me so I decided to sit down while placing this snake in my lap. He was curled otherwise but spiritually he also (in my minds eyes) seemed to be sitting in a similar position to a cat. I don't know how that's possible but it was.

I kept petting his body, letting my hand run on his scales gently. Instantly when I started to do this, he started to PURR! I HEARD and FELT it! In shock I looked up at this woman, saying he's purring! She just smiled at me knowingly! As I kept petting him, he turned to look up at me once more, starting to push his head towards my face. He pressed his head against my face / right cheek as I pressed my head down, keeping our heads / faces gently pressed together. It was SO ADORABLE moment that I can't! <3

Now this woman handled me a book with information about boas, this specific one in fact. It looked like fur covered kids book with button line at the edge of the pages. If you pressed a button, you get a sound / video of the snake.

I opened the book and on the first page (right) is some info but what caught my attention is the backside of front cover (left). There's tiny screen and there's video playing. Blond woman is singing on stage while lights are flashing all around her. The screen is split in two and on the left side of the screen is Grimmjow! He stands there, not looking all that pleased, but then I started to think:

"This snake's name is Suwabe... And Suwabe Junichi voice acts Grimmjow... Does it mean this snake can actually speak?!"

Again I turn to look at this woman and before I can even open my mouth to ask anything, she's looking at me with knowing smile! She clearly knows A LOT more about this snake than she's telling me.

I then woke up on the sounds coming from neighbor's bathroom which is right behind the bedroom. But that snake was heck pretty! I had to google if there's green boas - and yes, there is! And the stripe one looks exactly like the one in my dream except the stripes were yellow, not white! It's called Emerald Tree Boa. Very common boa as a pet, actually.

But as a spiritual sign it's VERY good to see green snake! :D Green snake, overall, is:

Wisdom, Knowledge, Ability to Overcome Obstacles, Rebirth, Healing, New Beginnings, Opportunity to Growth, Grounding with Yourself, Harmony, Balance, Hope, Luck, Prosperity, New Life, Joy.

Then I got curious if name "Suwabe" means anything. It does, ahah!

Good Fortune, Must, Necessary, Required, Harmony, Peace, Concord, Section, Department, Category, Consultation, Discussion, Vicinity and so on! Tho, I think the meaning does change with the Kanji's but I'm not sure. I don't speak or read Japanese :'D

But I take this green boa with Suwabe's name as a VERY VERY GOOD sign <3 Plus GRIMMJOW being there too! Nothing can't go wrong :D

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

I put music over this to cover up the sounds of my mouth breathing because it's slightly distracting, but I also wanted to keep the other sounds, but anyway, here's how I'm choosing to announce that I got the first three issues of the recent Darkwing Duck comic series thanks to my bestie

You have no idea how many takes I had to do and how many practices runs I did while holding my phone to get this in one go with one hand and have them all land decently centered, lol.

[seenoweevil]

Currently in the process of darning my shoes

[revelboo]

god. revel youre a terrible (affectionate) influence, we got the bumblebee lego in at work and its the CUTEST goddamn thing. they gave him BUMPER STICKERS. and REASONS for said bumper stickers (like his street smarts or w/e and its. not much but i think its cute) AND his shattered glass counterpart- goldbug?? iirc?? is on one of the license plates they gave him and on top of that it TRANSFORMS AFTER YOU BUILD IT. im gonna get him n wrap him and park his cute stickered butt under my tree. they gave him a little bee in his cab and on the back of his little id card thing and everything, its so unreasonably cute

I need pictures, because that sounds so cool! Don’t make me go buy a Lego kit, they’re so darn expensive and I’m broke right now. Unfortunately, it looks like I’m the only one at work today, so I’m going to write nonsense

The Weakends Pt 10

TFP Ratchet x Reader

• Heart racing as he drags you into him, servos wrapped around your arm so tight he’s probably going to leave bruises, but it’s hard to care about anything beyond the fact that he’s finally opening up. And he’s also somehow not quite your size, but much closer. “I’m not okay,” he says again, voice tight with tension as you hesitantly go up on tiptoe so you can loop your free arm around his neck and give him a hug. Because you know exactly how hard it is to say those words, because as much as you push at him out of worry, you do the same thing. Work past exhaustion, forget meals or just not want to eat at all because of stress. Worry over everyone but yourself. And his other arm bands around you, pressing you to him so tight you can barely breathe.

• “I know. You don’t have to be,” you whisper and he feels like a fool clinging to you like a sparkling clutches to their carrier. Embarrassed even as it feels like a weight’s been lifted from him. And you’re giving him permission to not keep up the act, but he’s not sure if that indifference and attitude is all that’s keeping him together. If he’ll break if he loses that armor. “We can talk about it if you want? Or about anything, but Doc you’re crushing my ribs a bit.” And uttering a startled laugh, he eases up his grip on you. Freezing when you cup his cheek in a warm hand, eyes staring up at him. Smiling. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard you laugh before.”

• Sure he scoffs and laughs, but it’s always dismissive or sarcastic. Never real like this and you want to hear it again. Want this tired, exhausted bot to smile. To be happy so bad it hurts. “I laugh,” he mutters, tone defensive as his optics flick toward your hand on him, to your face, back to your hand. Not asking you to stop touching him, but clearly uncertain about it. Making you wonder how long it’s been since someone touched him like this. Held him. Kissed him. Do they do that? There’s so much about Cybertronians you have no clue about. So many things that are achingly familiar to humans, despite how different they are.

• Startlingly soft and warm, your little hand lingers on his face. That touch tempting him to touch you in return, becoming all too aware of the way you feel against him. Could turn his head and let his mouth brush your palm, could run his servos through the softness of your hair. Aware that he’s staring at you, lost in those lovely eyes. Unable to move in case you come to your senses and move away. “You should laugh more,” you say, thumb sliding against him and brushing the corner of his mouth. “I like when you smile.”

• You’ve lost your mind, but it seems to be contagious as he bends toward you. When he vents, it fans across your face and stirs your hair. His serious mouth so close to yours and his big hand sliding from your side up your back as the other lets go of your arm and his servos just barely ghost over your cheek. Blood heating with awareness of him, of those big hands on you as you want something you’re not sure is allowed or even possible. “Do you?” He asks, voice gruff and deep, lips almost brushing yours. Know that any minute he’ll realize what he’s doing and stop. The walls will go back up and you don’t want that. Don’t want to let whatever this is slip through your fingers even if it’s a mistake. Even if you’re just going to regret it. Free hand catching at his chassis, you crush your mouth to his before you can overthink how terrible an idea this is. And he recoils back in surprise or distaste and it hurts, your face heating at the rejection. Then his mouth comes down on yours, those hands tightening on you until there’s no way they won’t leave bruises and Cybertronians do kiss. He kisses with a consuming desperation that leaves you molten with the need for more. For everything.

Previous

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[callalillywrites]

A Stuck Zipper

This story is actually a longer, spin-off version of an older post response. It was meant to be a Christmas/Wintery story, but I missed that mark a little bit. It's okay though because I had a lot of fun writing this. I'm sure I can come up with something for Steve (and a couple others before the end of the year). I do hope you enjoy this story as much as I did writing it.

Relationship: Steve Rogers x Wife!Reader

Word Count: ~2100

Summary: It's the night of the biggest party of the year. You've been working alongside Pepper and Nat to ensure this party goes well. What you don't count on is a stuck zipper. At least, you're married to a man with a plan who's never failed to let you down.

Warnings: mostly fluff

A/N: This is my first fic since melting down last month, so please be kind to me as I try to get back into the swing of things again. I do hope this is the first of many more stories to come along with some older ones to join its ranks once more as well.

I do not give permission to have my works copied, translated, reposted, or fed into an AI machine.

****

“It’s stuck.”

You tried to turn around at Nat’s words, but she stopped you before you could wrench the tiny zipper from her hands.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t heard the smallest shreds as the zipper caught the delicate fabric and refused to let go. It’s just that this couldn’t be the thing that went wrong tonight. Of all your planning with Nat and Pepper to make this event the talk of the year, you couldn’t afford to be brought low because of a measly zipper on one of the most expensive gowns you’ve ever owned.

“How bad is it?” you asked though you couldn’t be sure you wanted to know.

Nat didn’t immediately answer, which was answer enough.

“Can we pin it or something?”

A glance at Nat’s pinched features in the mirror sent a shiver of dread down your spine.

The party would start any minute. Not only would your dress keep you from your duties, you would miss out on seeing the one person you’ve been wanting to see the past few weeks. Oh, you’d missed him something fierce while he’d been away, and now you couldn’t be certain you’d have the reunion you wanted with him.

This was supposed to be one of your biggest nights, too.

How were you going to explain your absence? How could you leave Nat and Pepper to fend for themselves? Then again, how were you supposed to help if your dress’s darn zipper was stuck halfway up your back.

In your current self-pitying state, you almost missed the way Nat’s face smoothed. Her hand had gone to the small ear comm she wore, holding it as she listened to Pepper on the other end.

You had one, too, but you’d taken it out after it started bugging you. The intention had been to replace it after you’d gotten dressed and had no more time for yourself before the party started. That had fallen by the wayside when your dress had pulled its dirty trick and kept you standing in front of your mirror debating your options.

Whatever Pepper told Nat soon tugged her signature smirk over her features, replacing her previous frown.

“Pepper is sending us reinforcements,” she said after a moment, her hand dropping from the comm.

The smirk remained as the two of you waited for whoever Pepper had sent to save the day.

Within minutes, said savior arrived.

You couldn’t help the gasp that slipped past your lips as you took in the only man that’s held your attention and your heart for so many years.

His new suit fit him to perfection, but then, you had no doubt it would after sending his measurements to the best tailor New York City had to offer. The dark navy made his blue eyes pop while the silver vest beneath his jacket brought out the sparkle you so adored whenever he glanced at you.

“Hello, sweetheart,” his deep voice echoed softly through the room. “I heard you could use my expertise.”

Nat, not at all offended at being ignored, deepened her smirk as she moved toward the open doorway. It didn’t seem to matter how much your man filled it, blocking her. Having fought at his side longer than you have, it didn’t take much for her to slip past him. Then again, that could be her spy training more than her comfort at being one of his Avenger coworkers.

As if her disappearance gave him further permission, he stepped into the room, quickly closing the distance. He didn’t stop until only a mere foot separated you. His slacks brushed the outer layers of your dress’s full skirt.

“You look ravishing, sweetheart,” he murmured, his gaze missing nothing of the silver dress you wore with the navy lace creating intricate snowflake patterns.

Putting up a hand to keep him at bay, you raised a brow. “And you, Mr. Rogers, have been hanging out with Sam and Bucky too much if you’re using ‘ravishing’ as a word to compliment me. You’re going to behave until after this party is over. Do we understand each other?”

“You are married to Captain America, sweetheart. I’m the very beacon of honor and virtue.” He held up his hand as though he were a Boy Scout though his gaze continued to twinkle. His lips twitched with the amusement he wasn’t trying too hard to conceal.

You simply shook your head. “No, I married Steven Grant Rogers. You’re the epitome of a punk from Brooklyn just as your best friend has always claimed. Never back down from a fight even when you should and have a mouth that could make a sailor blush on a good day.”

“Is that so?”

It was his turn to raise his brows though his amusement remained.

Knowing what he wanted to hear next, you sent him a softer smile, indulging him. After all, you two have done this little dance since not long after the two of you fell in love. Reaching out, you rested your hand over the small pocket of his suit jacket. His heart beat steadily beneath your palm, relaxing you as it always did.

Even as you nodded in affirmation, you added, “Yet, you’re also the man with a heart of pure gold and always help your friends and family whenever they need you. I didn’t marry the perfect soldier the U.S. Army wanted, but the good man you are and will always be. My life has been better for knowing you, and I fall more in love with you every day.”

His amusement melted into such warmth and affection that you knew he’d behave for at least a little while.

“What do you need, Mrs. Rogers?”

Pressing the softest kiss you could to his lips and not mess up your pristine makeup, you flashed him a grin before turning around to show him your dilemma.

“It’s stuck. I can’t see the problem, and Nat’s face told me pinning wouldn’t work.”

Steve’s warm fingers brushed against your skin as he inspected the ornery zipper. He tugged gently, but the stubborn slider refused to budge. Another tiny rip of the delicate fabric reached your ears a moment before Steve raised apologetic eyes to yours in the mirror in front of you.

“Nat’s probably right, sweetheart, but…”

His brows knitted together as he continued to stare at your current predicament.

After several seconds, his brows smoothed and his gaze met yours once more. Inspiration had hit him in a way that never fails to take your breath away. Always the man with a plan, he didn’t hesitate in coming up with some unique solutions to even the most basic of problems.

“You still have your emergency sewing kit in your purse?”

You nodded.

He stepped away and picked up your purse. His gaze met yours for permission before he opened up the main flap. Always the gentleman. His hand felt around the few contents until it encountered the little tin he sought. The same little tin you inherited from your grandmother after she passed a few years ago. You never failed to update the kit with threads for whatever outfit you and Steve wore that day from your rather vast collection of sewing threads.

As he held up the little tin with a small triumphant grin, you thanked whatever gods were listening that you’d remembered to update it that morning with what you’d need for your evening attire as well.

“Stay perfectly still for me, sweetheart,” he murmured after threading the needle with the necessary thread and stepped behind you again.

You did as he asked. It took everything in you not to peek over your shoulder to see exactly what he was doing. Instead, you had to settle with feeling his fingers brush against you now and then, sending delicious shivers down your spine even as he worked diligently at your dress.

After what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been more than five minutes, he tied off the thread and snapped the extra with little effort. Turning you so your back faced the mirror, he nodded towards his work. “What do you think?”

It took a bit to get the right angle and see what he’d done.

When you did, you couldn’t help the gasp that slipped past your lips. The stuck zipper remained in place, but the rest of your dress had been perfectly and almost seamlessly stitched closed. Only some nosy person would notice the zipper wasn’t all the way up with the way Steve had stitched your dress closed. You could barely make out the stitches he placed.

Meeting his gaze in the mirror, you blurted, “Where did you learn to sew? How did I not know this about you after all these years?”

Steve’s cheeks flushed at the awe in your voice.

“We didn’t have a lot of clothing options back then as there are today. My ma worked hard to provide me with what she could. I used to watch her doctor clothes for my smaller frame whenever she could afford to get me something new.”

His gaze took on a wistful expression as he remembered his old life and his mother.

You turned so you could rest your hands on his chest, offering him what comfort you could. He didn’t talk about his past as often as you thought he should, but you never pushed him, either. Not wanting to miss out on this new opportunity, you remained quiet.

A small grin spread across his features as he indeed continued.

“Well, I wasn’t one to take precautions with my clothes, either. Most of us boys didn’t. I probably should’ve for my ma’s sake, but I always got myself into one scuffle or another as you’re aware. Most often, I’d end up with a rip in either my shirt or pants. Sometimes, both. Not wanting to upset my ma, I used the little bit of knowledge I’d gained by watching her to start mending my clothes myself. It was better than asking her to do more for me when she was already doing so much.”

His grin softened as more memories seemed to surface.

“My first attempts were awful, but then, boys didn’t typically do what they considered girl chores back then. I got better over time. I even helped Bucky out a time or two when he needed it. Some way, I guess, to repay him for always looking out for me, too. It was better than the tongue lashing he would’ve gotten from his own ma for getting me out yet another bind.”

Unable to resist the desire, you rose up and pressed another soft kiss to his lips.

“What was that for?” he asked though his eyes glowed with warmth and a mirrored desire.

You brought one of your hands up to cup his cheek as you whispered, “Just because you’re you.”

As you moved to lower yourself, Steve followed you until he leaned into your space and took a swift but no less chaste kiss for himself.

“I love you, too, Mrs. Rogers.”

The two of you gathered up the rest of your items for the evening, including the masks you had made to match your outfits.

After all, the party was a masquerade. Tony had declared it so when he announced wanting to throw a holiday party for the Avengers and other important guests. At least, he left you, Pepper, and Nat to work out all the other details to make this night a spectacular one. It would certainly be one to remember after all your hard work and theirs.

As the two of you walked towards the elevators, a thought struck you.

Turning your head to look at your husband, you asked low enough so any others wouldn’t overhear, “How exactly am I getting out of this dress later?”

The smirk you’ve come to know and love appeared on Steve’s face. He helped you onto the elevator as the doors opened. His arm came around you as he held you close to his side. Only as the doors were closing did he bend down to whisper, “Don’t worry about that, sweetheart. I’ve got a plan that will not only get you out of that dress but will satisfy us both before the sun comes up tomorrow.”

His lips skimmed along your neck until he reached the spot where it met your shoulder. A slight stinging nip of his teeth sent a tingling shiver down your spine. The promise clear in his action as his hand tightened at your waist.

The party, while an amazing success of your hard work, paled in comparison to the hours after where Steve lived up to his sensual promise in the elevator. It would be a night you wouldn’t soon forget.

[m00nsbaby]

AITA for texting my fiancé that "this isn't working"?

Steven Grant x reader.

Tags & warnings. None. Yes, this literally is just a silly little thing that I read on reddit and I thought it was so funny lol. Reader is gender neutral!

Word count. 823.

Moving in with Steven was one of the best decisions you could make in your life, right after saying 'yes' when he proposed.

The only inconvenience came at a precise time between morning and afternoon, sometimes even at night, all depending on the mood of his boss. Waiting for Steven to return from work was such a headache, boring hours and dead time as you tried to find your own job.

The upside was that you now had complete freedom to organize his apartment to your liking, and if anything needed a complete makeover, it was Steven Grant's dark and disorganized home.

You had just made a completely necessary expense, a gigantic mirror that was clearly bigger than your capabilities. Worse yet, considering that if there was something you despised with all your heart, it was the mere idea of reading an instruction manual.

When the mirror arrived, the Amazon delivery guy mocked you to your face for your difficulty in handling the box and getting it into the house.

You: Baby, the new mirror just came in!

You hit send after the message.

You: I’m going to try to put it together but I may need your help later.

And just as you said, you got to work with the phone by your side, waiting for a response from Steven.

You assumed Donna was in a terrible mood because at least two hours went by without a reply, although you were really too busy to worry about that.

For a moment, you insisted on the idea of finishing assembling the darn mirror before Steven arrived home, but that clearly didn't happen because for the two and a half hours of effort you put in, you didn't feel like you were really getting anywhere.

Plus, you had extra screws that shouldn't have been left over.

You: This isn’t working and at this point, I think I need to just give up.

You put the phone aside and lazily lay down on the carpet. Why was assembling furniture so hard? Although not as difficult as having to accept that you couldn't finish it on your own.

You stayed there not knowing how long, but you estimated it was a few hours because you heard the front door indicating that Steven was home. The smile lasted only a short while because as you straightened up to greet him, he walked past you without even looking at you, heading straight to the bedroom.

"Steven?" you questioned, slightly furrowing your brow. You stood up slowly, giving him time to exit the room.

When you finally confronted him, your heart almost jumped out of your chest. His eyes were red, completely filled with tears.

"What happened, baby?"

"Why?" he asked, his voice breaking. It shattered your heart into pieces.

"Why what, Steven?" He sniffled, and you searched his gaze when he started avoiding you.

"Why are you giving up on me?"

You nearly killed him right then and there.

"What are you talking about?"

He didn't take long to pull his phone out of his pocket and shake it a bit in front of your face; he was on the verge of sobbing.

"Y-Your messages, you were breaking up with me."

The moment Steven mentioned your text messages, you had to press your lips together to keep from laughing in his face.

Your expression almost made him cry harder. Were you making fun of him?

"Steven." Your voice came out in a playful tone as you almost burst into laughter. "I was talking about the mirror."

"Huh? What mirror?"

"The new mirror, it arrived." Your eyes were almost watering from holding back laughter. "I'm guessing that the previous messages didn't send; I was talking about not being able to assemble it on my own."

You stepped aside to let him see the mess you had made on the floor, with the mirror halfway assembled.

Steven exchanged glances between the things and you.

He looked at the things.

He looked at you.

He looked at the things.

He looked at you.

Realization hit in seconds, and you couldn't say anything more when you felt Steven's arms squeezing you against his chest. You couldn't stop laughing even though your laughter sounded odd, muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Bloody fucking hell, love!" Steven cursing was definitely a special event. It only made you laugh harder. "You almost gave me a heart attack!"

He lifted you off the ground, and tears were already streaming down your face. It took much longer than expected to calm down from the laughter.

Still breathless, you let him kiss your face, as well as embrace you with his strong arms that refused to let you go.

"Still, I need you to check the mirror." You took a deep breath, your cheeks already reddened, one of your hands held onto him, and the other wiped the corners of your eyes. "I think I damaged it."

[c0zyrainfall]

Damian: Ooh. There's a cute girl over there.

Anya: What.

Damian: Do you wanna be my friend? Only if your dad is an elitist tho

Anya: My dad's a doctor

Damian: Ew imagine being as poor as the upper middle class

Anya: No

Damian: I hate you.

Anya: I hate you too.

Anya: Ugh, I'm sorry for punching you I guess.

Damian: I'm literally in love with you.

Anya: what

Damian: WHAT. I SAID I HATE YOU

Anya: what 😭

Anya: Guess I'll befriend him? For the mission!

Damian: I cannot stand the sight of you crying. You're not allowed to cry in my presence. It's too dangerous because I'll just give you anything you want.

Anya: I want sweets

Damian: You're so unfair

Anya: Well shoot, you're gonna get a tonitrus bolt unless I save you rn.

Damian: No

Anya: Take my hankerchief

Damian: I literally owe you my life now

Anya: I'll settle for cake.

Anya: Omg our moms are friends now. We should become friends so we can beat them at friendship

Damian: Hold up did my mom reveal all my embarrassing secrets

Anya: Nah

Damian: Darn... I mean that's great, but we're still not friends

Anya: Camping trip!

Damian: Camping trip:

Anya and Damian: wait no we're stuck in the woods together

Damian: Guess I'll hold your hand 🙄

Anya: 🥹

Damian: Ugh I brought the cake... Nvm my friends ate it

Anya: Omg a terrorist hijacked the bus. I'm gonna go save everyone

Damian: Wait no ur gonna get yourself killed!

Anya: what are you worried

Damian: Yeah kinda 😭 Just a lil but only because you're my classmate

Anya: well too bad I'm saving everyone anyways... Oh nvm the terrorists just strapped a bomb to my neck.

Damian: Put it on me instead

Anya: ....

Anya: I saved everyone

Damian: I guess you did. That was kind of a little bit cool.

Anya: Well you were pretty cool too when you tried to take the bomb for me

Damian: I only did it cuz we're friends 😭

Anya: We're friends?!?!?!

Damian: NO

Anya: OHOHO other people think I'm cool now. I don't need Damian anymore

Damian: Say WHAT

Becky: Ur jealous lol.

Damian: No

Ewen: Space is cool

Damian: Whatever

Ewen: OMG Anya we share a common interest in space!

Anya: I want to build a castle on the moon!

Damian: When I grow up I'll make it so you can go to space whenever you want. I will literally build you a castle on the moon.

Becky: You are SO jealous lol

Damian: Well I can't really deny it now can I

Damian: I literally got Anya the most expensive cake in the world. But only to pay my blood debt to her for the handkerchief thing, and for no other reasons.

Anya: Omg give me the cake.. I mean, be my friend.

Damian: She wants to square up???

Anya: No. I want to be your friend.

Damian: Idk why she wants to fight me so badly but I guess I'll oblige as an excuse to spend time with her... I mean to give her the cake.

Anya: Omg just give me the cake already.

Damian: I'm literally in love with you. I MEAN I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. I'M JUST GIVING YOU THESE TO PAY BACK MY BLOOD DEBT.

Anya: Yeah okay we can be friends now! Gotta beat our moms at the friendship scheme.

Damian: Wait she's in love with me

Anya: King of jumping to conclusions over here 😭 Omg nevermind pls leave me alone

Damian: Queen of mixed signals you make no sense 😭

Anya: Bro chill we're literally in first grade 💀✋

Damian: Haha, you're too dumb to make it into the same class as me next semester

Anya: Oh wait ur right :(

Damian: Wait but what if she actually beats me though

Anya: I drew a beard into my face with permanent marker.

Damian: WAIT BUT WHAT IF SHE ACTUALLY BEATS ME THOUGH

[bluecollarmcandtf]

Sexy Dilf Suit For Sale!

Check him out, Internet! I'm selling meat-suits again, and this one is a stud!

I caught him at the park a few years back. The guy casually passed me like he wasn't the sexiest motherfucker I'd ever seen. He was shirtless of course, jogging in a tight pair of running shorts that really showed off his strong legs. He was a lot less hairy back then, when he used to keep all that fur trimmed neatly. I followed him to the park's restroom and converted him there. He had earbuds in, so it was ridiculously easy to sneak up behind him at the urinal. I dragged him into a stall and spent the next few hours hollowing him out. I wore him home that night, and my boyfriend was ecstatic to see me in such a hot dad. The first thing I did was use that guy's low voice to order my partner to, "Pull out daddy's penis."

We spent the night breaking the suit in. It was fairly obvious that the man was a virgin to gay sex. He felt sensitive and tight in all the right areas, and he hid a girthy python between his legs...

This suit was a favorite for public dates. I loved the way men and women stared at me while I was in him! He's honestly one of my favorites, but unfortunately, it has to go. Last week I wore him out to dinner with my boyfriend. Inside his skin, I donned a form-fitting suit and gelled his hair back handsomely. We were cozied up in an expensive restaurant when she came in. "Sam!" she yelled, "You-you're my Samuel!" Obviously, the poor woman was this guy's wife or something. She burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant, wailing about kids that I supposedly shared with her. I tried to convince her that I wasn't this Sam guy. I even made out with my boyfriend in front of her as proof, but she insisted I was him.

Ultimately, we left our date early, and now there's some lady running around looking for the person this meat-suit used to be.

So that's what brings me here! Part of me can't bear to get rid of him. I loved being inside that guy, but I can't keep him around here! I'd like around $5,000 for him, and I'd like to know that whoever's buying will wear him far away from here. That poor lady doesn't need to see him walking around town, completely unaware of his wife or kids.

Like I said, you can expect a lot of attention, strutting around with his handsome body and face. I've never worn him to a club and not had somebody offer to buy my drink. He's just too darn handsome, especially if you show off the goods! The old Samuel was probably too timid to highlight his juicy bubble butt or bulging crotch, but they are very popular with other gay men! Expect a lot of wandering hands!

Anyway, hit me up if you're interested. It'll be laying outside while I wait for an offer. His skin tans beautifully, so I figured I might as well bronze him up for ya!

[mimble-sparklepudding]

OC Armour and Clothing Questions.

Does your OC have an outfit that is particularly associated with them by others? Why is this? Simply because they are often seen wearing it? Perhaps because it's their usual outfit for adventuring or exploring? Or maybe because it's the outfit they wore for a famous event?

What is the most expensive outfit your OC has ever worn? A finely crafted suit of armour? An extravagant ballgown? Their wedding dress or suit? Did they borrow or rent it? Or did they purchase (or even steal) it themselves?

What kind of clothing does your OC wear in cold weather or frozen climates? Do they already have such items in their wardrobe? Or do they need to purchase or otherwise obtain them when the need arises?

Has your OC ever been asked (or commanded) to wear a particular item or set of clothes and refused? Why was this? What were the consequences?

Does your OC favour bright, or even clashing, colours? Or do they prefer a more subdued wardrobe? Are they perhaps even keen to keep things strictly monochrome as far as possible?

When it comes to combat or other physical activities, does your OC favour heavy armour? Or do they prefer something lighter which facilitates greater mobility at the expense of protection? Or do they have another priority entirely, such as clothing which assists them in channelling aether or magical abilities?

What sort of clothing did your OC wear during their childhood? How did it reflect their social class and culture of origin?

Is your OC particularly sensitive to the texture or feeling of certain fabrics or items of clothing? Do they struggle with scratchy wool or coarse linens? Do they hate overly tight clothing or items with too many buckles or laces?

What does your OC tend to wear in bed? Is this different to what they might wear to sleep when (for example) camping in the wilderness? Would they wear something different if they were sharing their home (or even their bed) with a guest?

Which outfit has garnered your OC the most compliments? How did they feel about receiving such effusive praise? Did they enjoy it?

What is an outfit or style of clothing that your OC admires on others, but would never attempt to wear themselves?

What might your OC wear to someone else's wedding - or a similar cultural event where one is expected to put in a great deal of effort, but without drawing attention away from the bride/groom?

How revealing are your OCs usual outfits? Do they tend to be more or less modest than those meeting them might expect? Is this a calculated decision?

What is an old, worn or shabby item of clothing with which your OC is unwilling to part? Is this due to sentimental reasons? Or simply that they are particularly miserly when it comes to shopping for new clothes?

How does your OC feel about hats and headgear in general? Are such items something that they might only wear for special occasions? Or do they like to have a hat or crown on at all times in order to advertise their wealth or status?

What underwear does your OC generally wear? Do they have special (or even lucky) underwear for special or more intimate occasions? Or do they have purely utilitarian options in this regard?

Does your OC maintain their own clothing and armour? Are they capable at darning, patching and mending? Or do they prefer to delegate such things to others?

Has your OC ever seen a particularly striking outfit, or even a suit of armour, and been wildly envious of it's owner? Would they secretly (or not so secretly) like the chance to wear something similar? Or do they feel they lack the figure or the social status to pull it off?

What might your OC wear at the beach, or for swimming in a lake or pool? Do they have specific clothing for such occasions? Or would they have to improvise with existing items? Or would they actually stay modestly covered up on the side?

Has your OC ever been invited (or just decided) to wear something from a completely different culture? How comfortable did they feel about this? How did other people react? Did they enjoy it?

Does your OC have a large collection of shoes and footwear? Or do they have just one pair of servicable boots? Do they have different footwear for different occasions? Do they have a favourite pair?

How aware is your OC of the impression their outfits give to others? Is this entirely calculated on their part? Or are they completely oblivious to the responses of others?

Is your OC critical - or even snide - about the fashion choices of other people? Do they look down on those who wear outfits which are too revealing? Or too buttoned-up? Or too colourful? Or simply rather cheap-looking?

Does your OC enjoy dressing up for special seasonal occasions in specific outfits? Do they do this in the spirit of fun? For the children in their care? Or simply for attention?

Does your OC like wearing gloves? Or do they find they interfere with their ability to use weapons or operate machinery? Do they reserve them for special occasions?

How many pockets and other options for storing items do your OCs outfits usually have? Do they like to have their money or other items close at hand? Or are they happier with more snappily cut outfits and a seperate bag for items?

What might your OC wear at a social occasion when they needed to (whether they liked it or not) make the most dramatic impression possible? Would they need help picking out something appropriate?

What might your OC wear on a date? Or at least on an occasion where they wanted to make themselves look as attractive as possible? Would they easily make the right choice? Or would they benefit from some tactful advice from others?

Does your OC wash and launder their own clothes? Or do they have staff or companions who will do this for them? Are they fastidious about cleaning their clothes and armour? Or are they willing to wait until things get really bad before they worry?

What sort of clothes did your OC wear at the start of their narrative journey? Where had they obtained them? How quickly did they replace them?

Does your OC enjoy wearing outfits that glitter with gemstones or sequins? Do they like to shine in ostentatious or flamboyant outfits that attract endless attention?

Does your OC have a specific outfit for official or even state occasions? Or would they have to cobble something together or borrow something appropriate from others? What would a "dignified" outfit look like to them?

What might your OC wear in a hot climate or during particularly hot weather? Are they used to dressing for these conditions or would they rapidly need to reassess their outfit?

What is something that your OC would never willingly wear? How did they come to this decision? Do they judge other people for dressing in that way?

How good is your OC at disguising themselves with different clothing? Can they put on an expensive frock or suit and effortlessly affect the mannerisms of the pampered elite? Are they able to put on a rough smock or tattered rags and instantly adopt the stance of a downtrodden peasant or beggar? Or would they stand out like a proverbial sore thumb?

What is the outfit that they keep coming back to for practical reasons? What makes it so servicable? How do they maintain it?

What might your OC wear if they wished to appear intimidating or even frightening to others? Would this be something that advertised their wealth or political authority? Or a more direct indication of just how dangerous they can be?

How ornate does your OC like their everyday wardrobe to be? Are they willing to pay more for detailed embroidery or embossed leather? Will they spend time crafting armour that looks particularly impressive, even if it brings no actual advantage in combat?

Does your OC have an outfit (or multiple outfits) for when they are crafting or engaged in manual labour? Do they still prefer these sorts of clothes to be stylish or at least well-fitted? Or are such concerns the last thing on their mind?

Does your OC have a particular colour scheme which they favour when it comes to their clothes? Do they prefer natural shades, such as browns and greens? Or sombre tones, such as grey and black? Or would they sooner dazzle in metallics, or stand out from the crowd in bold, bright colours such as hot pink or bright yellow?

Does your OC have a dream outfit they would love to own? What would be the occasion when they would wish to wear it? Or would they just like to have it in their possession to take out and look at occasionally?

Is there a colour that your OC will never wear - or at least would rather not wear if they can avoid it? Why is this? Do they simply dislike it on them - perhaps it does not suit their complexion - or are there religious or cultural reasons why they avoid it?

How would your OC respond to finding they have turned up to a social event wearing exactly the same outfit as another person? Would they be mortified? Amused? Would they demand the other person leave?

Is there an outfit or item of clothing that your OC likes to wear, despite the best efforts and complaints of those around them? What do others object to about this item? Is it worn? Unfashionable? Or simply inappropriate?

Does your OC appreciate patterns on their clothing? Or even designs such as flowers or animals? Or would they prefer something a little plainer?

What is something that your OCs partner, lover or friends are scheming to get them to wear one day? What is their motivation? Are they likely to succeed?

What might your OC wear for a relaxed day at home? Do they have comfortable or casual clothes for cosy evenings out of the public eye?

Is your OC particularly attracted to a specific style of dress in others? What is it about these clothes (or lack thereof) that they find particularly stimulating? Would they ever wear something similar themselves?

What might your OC wear to a funeral or memorial event? Would they have something suitable to hand? Or would they need to buy or borrow something for the occasion?

Can you give an example of an outfit your OC once saw that made their jaw drop? What was so startling about that ensemble? Was it exceptionally modern? Rather risqué? Or simply culturally unlike anything they had ever seen before?

[brucebocchi]

Ranking 2024 anime, Pt. 4: #20-11

hey, this post is also available on my ko-fi, so please check it out and consider tipping/donating as i do this for free and am currently between jobs. you can find part 1 of the list here, part 2 here, and part 3 here. thanks!

You know, I'd really planned to keep my re-reviews much shorter but I'm finding it harder to do so when I get into the anime I actually liked. Maybe that's a good thing.

And away we go.

20. Solo Leveling

Portal isekai, sad loser secretly gains crazy powers and instantly becomes a stoic gigachad, menu screens everywhere, entry-level power fantasy. You’ve seen it before. Honestly, Solo Leveling is total slop. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If you’ve watched a couple isekai, like, ever, you’re not going to find much new here. There’s some interesting enough worldbuilding outside of the dungeon stuff; I did find myself intrigued by the level consideration given to how much this preponderance of portals would influence Korean economics and politics, and even moreso that much of the story so far revolves around how those corrupting powers can lead to hunters using dungeons as their own playgrounds for personal gain at others’ expense. There also seems to be a larger malefactor behind all of the menu screens driving protagonist Sung Jinwoo’s growth and titular leveling, so there’s the hook.

Even putting aside the few interesting parts of the otherwise boilerplate story, Solo Leveling both looks and sounds pretty darn good. The soundtrack is laden with Hiroyuki Sawano’s trademark build-ups and drops, and though the character art and dungeon designs aren’t always the most eye-catching (early on it did look like A-1 Pictures was going to default to “fuck it, we’re making money anyway” mode), the action animation goes absolutely bonkers in its best moments.

The second season is already up and running, and although I can barely remember anyone’s name outside of the protagonist (maybe that’s on me, I consume very little Korean media and am not great at retaining Korean names), I’m in this for the long haul. Great turn-your-brain-off action schlock.

19. Wind Breaker

At this point you could put a sign that says “DELINQUENT WITH A HEART OF GOLD” underneath a box-and-stick trap and I’d walk right in. I am not immune to your Josukes Higashikata, your Ryujis Sakamoto, what have you. The angry and violent type who will nevertheless stick up for what’s right and remain fiercely loyal to those they care about. Wind Breaker is rife with characters who fit that archetype, but it’s not exactly a delinquent anime so much as it’s a Dudes anime. More specifically, a Dudes Rock anime.

Yes, Wind Breaker’s ensemble cast is almost entirely Dudes, and they do indeed Rock. Protagonist Haruka is a self-inflicted outcast, and his tsundere ass does not appreciate all the positive attention he’s receiving after proving himself in street combat prior to his transfer to an all-delinquents high school. Nevertheless, he wants to fight his way to the top of his new environment, and if that means sticking up for the little guy along the way, all the better. 

I love that Wind Breaker’s overarching messages of self-improvement and helping the weak without expecting a reward are basically anathema for the base power fantasies that largely come from light novels over the past decade and change, but even moreso that Haruka, loner that he is, keeps having to learn that he’s not going to get anywhere without surrounding himself with the right people and relying on their support. Battle shonen are usually pretty blatant with this stuff, but to see it spelled out so clearly in a series like this just hits right.

Wind Breaker looks terrific at just about every step, too. Every single thing I’ve seen from CloverWorks from the past few years has been a bop, which makes it that much more maddening that this is the studio that bungled the Persona 5 anime and supposedly botched The Promised Neverland in its second season. I get that not everything works out as planned sometimes but I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop sometimes. I’m glad it’s been smooth so far, at least. Some pacing issues and a weird place to end the show, but I know for a fact I'll be there when this comes back in spring.

18. Laid-Back Camp, season 3

I am not immune to the Cute Girls Doing Cute Things genre, and when all is said and done I think Yuru Camp could very well stand alone at the top. A show this directly responsible for the uptick in camping culture and countryside tourism in Japan clearly holds some sway over pop culture, and it’s clearly deserved.

Returning to the present day after the 2022 film gave us a look at the Outdoor Club in adulthood, Yuru Camp’s third season gives us exactly what we wanted: More of the same. We largely focus on the solo expeditions of Rin, Nadeshiko, and the latter’s hometown friend Ayano as they trek to their collective meetup spot, and as the seasons change we get the entire gang together for some springtime hanami. It’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whimsical, it’s Yuru Camp. You know what you’re getting into at this point.

With studio Eightbit taking over the series in its third season, Yuru Camp still largely looks the same, and wonderfully so, but it can be a bit off at times: CGI vehicles look far more distractingly out-of-place, and for as gorgeous as the background art was in the first two seasons and movie, it can come across as a bit more uncanny this time out. I don’t know whether some of the shots of sakura branches were traced or run through some kind of AI post-processing from archival photos, and I hate to speculate on that, but given that this is the same studio that bafflingly under-animates the money printer that is Blue Lock, I can’t exactly put it past them.

Production quibbles aside, I can’t really complain about more Yuru Camp. It’s a bit lighter on plot than previous seasons, but this is a series that was light on plot to begin with. We get to spend time with these goofs, learn about camping and the Japanese countryside, and then maybe go touch grass ourselves. That’s a good message for a Cute Girls Doing Cute Things series to have: Go do your own cute things.

17. NieR: Automata Ver. 1.1a, part 2

The second half of this adaptation was going to be the metric by which fans of the 2017 action-RPG judged the whole work. The first half in 2023, covering the game’s A and B routes, was a solid if troubled production that did a good job of covering the narrative and action, even implementing surprising easter eggs from NieR Replicant along the way. Sloppy CGI integration in early episodes and a COVID-induced delay hampered things, though, so there were some nerves about the show’s return.

Any fears were quickly allayed once the second half of the series began, covering the real meat of the story in routes C-E. Ver. 1.1a immediately looked exceptional, with expressive character animation and fluid action sequences. Real pathos was instilled into the route’s early tragedies. Most welcome of all was the serious work put into expanding A2’s character and role in the story (as well as her backside). It felt like she’d gotten the short end of the stick narratively in the game, so it felt right to spend more time with her, tie her story in the present back to the past that was hinted at in the Resistance flashbacks, and just get to see her be a tsundere a couple times. I’m gonna have to go back and rewatch the whole series dubbed because I just know Cherami Leigh crushed it.

I’m of two minds about Ver. 1.1a as a whole: On one hand, this is just about as good an adaptation of the game as we probably could have gotten. On the other, a big part of what makes the NieR games’ narratives work so well comes from the fact that they could pretty much only be told through the framework of a video game. While Ver. 1.1a does a perfectly fine job of delivering the game’s narrative and providing its own take on the game’s extremely video-game-y ending, much of what makes NieR’s tragedies so impactful is the player’s agency (and occasional lack thereof) in these matters. 

Nothing can replace actually playing NieR: Automata as a means of experiencing its story, but Ver. 1.1a is a darn good companion piece, and one that may even hint at the future of the Drakengard/NieR franchise. Now if only Yoko Taro would focus on something other than gacha games and death game anime for two seconds…

16. Train to the End of the World

The writer/director duo behind Squid Girl came back to give us one of the best and most bizarre original anime this year. Train to the End of the World is overtly and unapologetically weird, and that’s the way I like ‘em.

This weird and wonderful trek across a warped and wildly varied landscape dazzles the eyes and rots the brain in unexpected ways, but it’s a stellar character comedy through and through. Shuumatsu Train’s oddball protagonists are goofy, galaxy-brained, and sometimes flat-out mean in ways that only teenage girls can be. The dialogue is expertly written and some of the punchiest I’ve ever seen in anime. The girls bicker, mess with strangers, and engage in the kinds of inane conversations you only have when you’re the most bored you’ve ever been in your life.

While rarely laugh-out-loud funny, Train to the End of the World is intrinsically hilarious. The sheer absurdity on display is the kind that leaves you just shaking your head in disbelief. One episode they’re playing House of the Dead to get out of a real-life zombie situation, and in another they’re acting out their favorite fictional anime that you, the viewer, are just expected to know about already. It’s a stupid show in the smartest ways; a classical Homerian epic with ruminations on the future, but also one where the girls threaten to wipe out a Lilliputian colony by peeing on it. It’s both eschatological and scatological. With the recent discourse over modern adaptations and interpretations of The Odyssey, this anime might as well be the nuclear option.

Train to the End of the World was a standout in a strong spring season, but it didn’t shake out super high in a long and darn good year of anime. That’s fine and all, but I really hope it ends up attaining the cult hit status it seemed destined for. 

15. Mayonaka Punch

This one had been distant on my radar for a couple of weeks after it premiered, but as soon as I found out it was a P.A. Works original, I picked it up immediately. Any original series by the studio that gave us Akiba Maid War’s glorious gut-wrenching insanity (as well as last year’s exceptional Skip and Loafer adaptation) is going to get my attention, and although Mayonaka Punch doesn’t quite reach the same highs as Akiba Maid War, it does try to match the latter’s most madcap moments.

I don’t have a better pitch than “Canceled YouTuber starts up a new channel with a house full of lesbian vampires,” nor do I really need one. Mayonaka Punch’s comedy largely revolves around the personality clash between the disaffected, avoidant Masaki and the pushy, hyperactive Live (who definitely wants Masaki for more than just her blood), but the whole cast is a riot. Throwing in a baby day trader, a taciturn fujoshi, and a big-titty pachinko fiend are just the right spices to make this a particularly tasty stew.

Chaos naturally ensues, and watching these women try to channel it into a successful YouTube channel is an easy recipe for comedy. Everyone has terrific chemistry and I was rapt with attention every time we got to learn more about each of these vampire girls’ history. What came as a huge surprise, though, was how potent some of the emotional hits ended up, even when it involved characters outside of the main pairing. The fact that the biggest one came in just the fourth episode was a masterstroke; I was already on board for the comedy but just like that I was fully invested in a character other than the one who wants to suck the protagonist dry. I’m not rephrasing that.

This one absolutely deserves to be a cult classic, and the door is left open just maddeningly enough at the end that I can only pray for more. Mayonaka Punch is a boatload of fun and deserves way more attention than it’s gotten. You can change that. Right now. Watch this show.

Prior to writing this, Fairouz Ai (Live’s voice actress and a huge presence in a handful of the shows I’ve already discussed) announced that she would be taking a hiatus from VA work following a PTSD diagnosis. I wish her all of the time, recovery, and support she needs.

14. Urusei Yatsura (2022), season 2

The opening salvo in the ongoing Rumiko Takahashi revival (weird thing to say about a mangaka who’s still alive and working, I know) returned this year for the second half of its “all-stars” run, marathoning us through retellings of the classic manga’s greatest hits, the oddest of its many oddballs, and its spectacular, heartfelt conclusion. More Lum is always a good thing.

I’ve written plenty about Urusei Yatsura’s remake following each cour except the first, and I don’t have much more to add at this point. It’s a classic for a reason and it laid the foundations for dozens of jokes, tropes, and standards that are fundamental to comedy in anime to this day. Even when some of the jokes may come off as trite or tropey, it’s easy to see just how and why it made Takahashi so successful. The exaggerated slice-of-life hijinks, outsized slapstick, and time-and-space surrealness are just as much of a treat as the deep, eclectic cast. And to top it all off, here’s Ataru and Lum being a couple of freaks who deserve each other.

Even though the 46-episode run certainly feels truncated compared to the 191 episodes, six films, and ten OVAs that came before it, David Production did a fine job of putting a modern touch on such a classic work and highlighting its strengths. And even though most of the run was an abridged run through the greatest hits, I’m really glad the studio made sure to dedicate the last few episodes to the manga’s final arc, bringing Lum and Ataru together in a beautiful and (briefly) satisfying climax.

And even for as satisfying as that ending was, it was nearly overshadowed by…

13. Ranma ½ (2024)

…the revival of Takahashi’s biggest hit.

Yes, right on the heels of the ending of the remake of her landmark romcom classic, came the announcement that her even BIGGER landmark romcom classic was also getting a remake. Ranma ½ is one of the hallmarks of 90s anime writ large, working late-80s Japan’s fascination with Chinese martial arts (partially due to Dragon Ball’s success) into a romantic-comedy framework that also accidentally served as the genesis of the harem genre. I’d somehow never actually engaged with Ranma prior to the remake, so I was happy to get in on a new ground floor and I was immediately sold.

As the youngest daughter of the Tendo Dojo, Akane Tendo is put in a predicament when her father betrothes her (at her sisters’ urging) to his friend’s son, Ranma Saotome. Though both are skilled fighters and a good match in that regard, Akane is a bit of a hothead and doesn’t much care for boys, so she’s not a fan of this arrangement, but it’s made all the more bizarre by the fact that Ranma is also a girl sometimes. Thanks to a bizarre accident in China, Ranma turns into a girl when soaked with cold water and back into a boy when hit with hot water. Shenanigans ensue as Ranma and Akane’s contentious relationship hits innumerable peaks and valleys, all the while fighting off an ever-growing menagerie of powerful, fight-happy suitors gunning for the hands and lips of Akane and both versions of Ranma.

MAPPA of all studios being the one to re-adapt Ranma came as a surprise, and you probably could’ve convinced me David Production took over this Takahashi adaptation as well. Ranma’s remake adopts several of the same visual flairs you’d see in Urusei Yatsura, including the Ben Day dots, color inversions, and manga-style onscreen onomatopoeias. On the other hand, while most of the moment-to-moment character animation is pretty much what you’d expect from any given anime, several of the action sequences are very well-animated to MAPPA’s typically high standard. I just hope the animators weren’t getting the Chainsaw Man or Jujutsu Kaisen treatment.

Ranma ½ is as hilarious as ever, but it can get a little wonky thematically when it comes to gender politics, boundaries, and expectations, as I’d been made aware before ever engaging with the work. I also knew from the Urusei Yatsura remake that this was basically Takahashi’s wheelhouse, as there are a couple of pretty genderbendy characters in there as well. Several of the male antagonists in Ranma are more than a little pushy when it comes to women who catch their eye, and a lot of the humor around Ranma’s gender swaps revolves around how their male socialization affects the lack of modesty with which they present their female form (more on that later). People who are much better versed in gender matters than myself, both academically and personally, can speak on the positives and negatives of these things much better than I can, and it’s too early in the series for me to really make a judgment call. I do think it’s odd, though, that even with the central romance, Akane doesn’t seem to remotely entertain the thought of getting involved with Ranma’s female side, and unfortunately I don’t really see that ever happening. So far, all of these things just come across as flat-out silly and more of a product of its time than anything nefarious. 

The original Ranma ½ adaptation remains a seminal work for a solid generation and a half of anime fans, so of course a remake was going to be met with some criticism. Some didn’t appreciate the more muted color palette compared to the late 80s/early 90s Studio Deen version, and while it’s certainly missing some of the flair of the hand-painted backgrounds and saturated lighting effects the medium has missed since that era, I personally like the softer hues; I find them a lot more reminiscent of Rumiko Takahashi’s own colorations for her art outside of the manga. It’s not as technicolor as the Urusei Yatsura remake, but I think that actually helps set the new Ranma apart rather than riding the former’s coattails.

The main difference people seem to be complaining about, however, has more to do with boobs. Takahashi has never been shy about including nudity in her manga, and in an era where uncensored bazongas were perfectly fine to publish in boys’ manga magazines, she was typically more matter-of-fact about the female form instead of pursuing titillation. As such, a story like Ranma’s, in which its title character is typically blase about presenting their female incarnation modestly, had a lot to work with on that front, and the original anime played along.

Not so with the MAPPA version. Nipples are conspicuously missing in scenes that legitimately do call for nudity, and an ass crack appears to be missing from an early scene as well. Personally, I don’t mind the Barbie doll treatment, and as I’d been reading the manga as the anime’s story progressed, I didn't find all that much missing in the transition from page to screen. Weebs tend to convince themselves they’re the most oppressed people on earth, so of course there were cries of censorship, which is a claim I don’t really care to entertain. These are different times, broadcast regulations in Japan are almost certainly different from what they were 35 years ago, and Netflix and/or MAPPA likely didn’t see the need for it. Could be any of those things. I’m not losing sleep over it.

And with that, I’m done talking about Rumiko Takahashi (for now). I’m grateful for everything related to her work, even tangentially, that came out this year, and my life is richer for it. I’m glad to have gotten into her work in earnest this year, and I can say with all conviction (hot take incoming) that she’s one of the greatest mangaka ever. I look forward to diving further into even more of her work.

12. The Elusive Samurai

I’d have been perfectly happy if Wind Breaker had been CloverWorks’ only beautifully-animated oddball shonen hit this year, and then they went and outdid themselves the very next season with this one.

The Elusive Samurai is a gorgeous, timeless-looking piece of historical fiction beginning at the very end of the Kamakura period, following the last survivor of the Hojo clan, the young Tokiyuki, as he’s urged by an eccentric priest to lead a pack of freedom fighters and take revenge. Despite coming from a prominent family within the shogunate, Tokiyuki was an impertinent kid and preferred to play hide-and-seek instead of attending any combat training. The priest, Yorishige, receives a vision of the future that predicts that Tokiyuki will fell his family’s usurper not by becoming a powerful warrior, but by doing what he’s already best at: Being a squirrelly little shit.

I just gushed about how good this show looks three months ago, and even now I’m thinking back fondly on how well it blends whimsy with brutality. You can have Yorishige and the kids goofing off and cracking jokes one minute and vibrant crimson beheadings the next. Even little Tokiyuki makes a joyful game out of slicing a bandit’s veins to ribbons later in the season. It feels like a callback to anime films and OVAs of the 80s, with the film grain effect to match. Almost every single thing about this show looks and sounds incredible.

Of course, there’s the CGI. I really don’t like complaining about that sort of thing, but it was such a blatant and unnecessary cost-cutting move that it almost cheapens the rest of the show. Look, I get that horses can be a pain to hand-animate after a while, but having characters’s CGI models speaking while riding on horseback is just enough to take me out of the show, especially when they already look as bizarre as, say, Sadamune. How that passed muster with the rest of the show’s standard is beyond me.

So, maybe I did dock it a spot or two for that, but I see that as a wrinkle that can be ironed out. The Elusive Samurai is absurdly promising, and its debut season is a tremendous statement. Can’t wait for more.

11. Makeine: Too Many Losing Heroines!

As I made clear last year by putting 100 Girlfriends’ debut season in my top ten for 2023, for as much as I love a good straight-up romance story, I have ample room in my heart for trashy dipshit romcoms as well. Makeine shares that affection and forges its own identity from it, establishing its own throne atop a hill of garbage.

This is not a “yeah it’s good if you can look past the tropes” show. Makeine is firmly on its bullshit, and it is firmly about its bullshit. It’s not nearly as off-the-wall as 100 Girlfriends, few shows are, but it’s well aware of your expectations and leaves you guessing whether you’ll have them expertly subverted or just thrown right back in your face. Even the protagonist, the light novel fanatic Nukumizu, is calling out the tropes as they happen, but it’s been a fun time watching him learn that he’s more than just a wet-blanket LN protagonist. He thinks he’s just along for the ride like any other blank-faced self-insert in these stories, as gets roped into the personal lives of these poor girls and learns that, yes, they are real people and that, yes, he is too.

I could go on and on about Too Many Losing Heroines’ idiosyncrasies and offbeat characters and punchy dialogue, but I did that plenty just a few months ago. Instead, I want to call attention once more to just how freakishly well-made this show is. A-1 Pictures had zero reason to go this hard on a goofy, trashy light novel romcom adaptation, and yet here they were, throwing their A-team at the whole project. Character animations are intricate, background art is sumptuous, lighting effects immaculate, and music on point at all times. The OP is an earworm (and one of a surprising number of ska intros and outros I’ve taken in this year), and having each of the main titular heroines perform her own story-appropriate ED was a masterstroke. Even the visual gags are perfect and allowed to land on their own.

I already cannot wait for more of this. If A-1 has given us all we’re going to get of the Kaguya-sama anime, then I’m as all-in on Makeine as they are. Not the best romcom out there, but easily one of the best-made out there.

[ronearoundblindly]

For every cevans who are the ass men and who are the boob men 👀😏 .. maybe there are some who like both equally?

This...did not at all shake out the way I thought it would at first. More of them lean towards the top rather than the bottom, but the one's who like the butt really, really like the butt. I decided to do percentages in order of preference--the formula shows up as % tits / % ass. Warnings for sexual discussion.

A/N: What a bizarre thing to find myself thinking about for HOURS...

Ransom Drysdale 90 / 10

In a word? Jewelry. Now, an expensive necklace laying just in the valley of your breasts is not the only reason Ran prefers this view, but it's the main one.

Jimmy Dobyne 85 / 15

Breeding kink and lactation kink. Sorry. He's a simple man who is deep-down obsessed with your tits getting bigger because of him and what he did to you. This is a man who enjoys getting completely lost in sex (in his own head though, since he's not using a lot of brainpower to check in with you and your needs during the actual act).

Curtis Everett 80 / 20

He's hands-on, and the simple truth is it's easier to have his hands (or mouth) on your breasts during foreplay or missionary, even doggy-style. Curtis enjoys touch far more than he'll admit out loud, so there's also the simple fact that when you hug, he gets more contact with your top than your bottom, or dancing, or sleeping, etc. There is--and I will die on this hill--something deeply primal aroused in him when he sees your bare décolleté. Somehow that is more exposed and naughtier than you wondering around in a bikini. Not sure how to explain that further. Breasts to neck are just his real estate.

Steve Rogers 75 / 25

I mean, the guy was eye-level with them for most of his life, so yeah, Steve's fascinated by tits. He also finds laying on your chest deeply soothing. He likes the soft, sensual side of showing attention to your tits and loves when they're very sensitive. Don't get me wrong; Steve enjoys a well-balanced woman, and he will dote on all of you. He just...really likes playing with your boobs, darn it!

Important note: read that stat as "25% backside" for Steve's delicacy, please. He won't say the other thing...

Andy Barber 70 / 30

The low-key version of Ransom in the sense that for public and work events, Andy would like to show off how gorgeous you are. It's difficult to really highlight the ass without being too risqué, and he'd be far more angry if a bunch of people stared at your backside all night. He's comfortable being envied for your top half, thanks.

Jake Jensen 60 / 40

Purely a numbers game: he is more likely to be flashed than mooned, so Jake is slightly more enamored by the titties. Apart from that, his answer to the question of either/or is "yes."

Johnny Storm 50 / 50

Always changing it up because he's always on the cusp of getting bored, Johnny goes through phases. However, he is equally and actively interesting in both your tits and your ass in a sexual way which is why he gets the actual number percentages, unlike...

James Mace & Bucky Barnes- Indifferent

Slightly different reasons, but at any given time, these two change preferences. Bucky is more emotional and moody in his affection/attention, so depending on the day, he could be wildly into your breasts or your butt. He could also be really into you doting on him. This could all be for nine-million different little experiences that happened in a day or a week. Bucky can't be pinned down as just one thing--partly because he's been several different people in his life.

Mace appreciates that there are esthetically pleasing versions of body parts, that people have different ideals for those, and that it is nice to have one or more of those ideal exist in the relationship. Mace is also practical. Your body will change over time. Hell, his body will definitely change after months in space, so who is he to point out that your ass looked better one way while he loses 30 pounds of muscle between times you seen him? It's not fair and it's not realistic. He just...can't find the energy to care much about this argument. There are more important things that could be an actual problem if they changed, but your body isn't one of them.

[Enormous gap in percentages]

Ari Levinson 10 / 90

I may hate the phrase but Ari is definitely a 'dirty daddy.' He quite likes a nasty, no-holds-barred fuck fest, and those have way more to do with your lower half than your upper half. Something about your ass being his is also more satisfying than any other piece of you. He's a bit possessive that way.

Lloyd Hansen 1 / 99

Boobs can be fake, and unless he is actually fucking your tits, they aren't doing anything for him. Lloyd feeds off of touch sexually, so it's all about that booty bouncing on him or taking him deep or bruising beneath his grip, know what I mean? Yeah, you do, @ellethespaceunicorn.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[orionremastered]

Heyyy!

I just wanted to put in a request for part 2 of your Damian x surgical intern reader? (If that’s not too much to ask - I loved it so much!!)

~🌼

PLEASE SEND ME MORE ASKS THEY MAKE ME HAPPY

Masterlist

Surgeon!Damian Wayne x Surgical Resident!reader

Part One, Part Two

You were, decidedly, over it. After a ten hour long heart transplant- unusually long- you could feel your every breath, every blink, and every move you made was slow and manual. Dr. Wayne- no, Damian- was more exhausted than you could imagine.

When he stumbles, you grab his shoulders quickly to stop him falling. It takes him a second to stand upright again and thank you with a set of lethargic nods.

“You don’t look like you can drive home,” you tell him as you follow him out the OR, close behind in the event that he stumbles again.

“I’m fine,” he grumbles, and you can only sigh at the stubborn man’s words.

“At least let me drive you home so you don’t cause an accident,” you insist, moving in front of him to ‘block’ his path.

Narrowed eyes and a grunt are all that follow for a few seconds after, regarding you with tired confusion. Did he seriously expect you to just let him drive home and cause an accident? To end up like the heart donor who was driving too fast and couldn’t be saved?

“Alright, fine.” He gives in, letting you lead him to the car park begrudgingly.

He unlocks his car, an expensive car by the looks of it, though you don’t know what kind- and gets into the passenger seat as you get behind the wheel.

“Wait.” his words are drawls now. “What about your-”

“I take the metro,” you reply, starting the car and driving out into the dark streets of Gotham.

Damian frowns, but in a few seconds, his head rests against the window and his eyes are closed, face relaxed for the first time that day.

It puts a soft smile onto your face when you see it, but then you realized you don’t know where he lives. And you can’t bring yourself to wake him up and ask.

You arrive at your building, gently coaxing Damian’s half-awake self, barely coherent when he mumbles something about his head. It’s certainly a challenge to get the man up the stairs since the elevator’s out of service as someone was murdered inside, but once you get him inside your (in all honesty, not even average sized) apartment, you have an odd choice to make.

He won’t fit on the couch- you have to crane your neck up to look at him, for crying out loud- but it’s awkward having a stranger in your bed, no?

Give the man a break, your mind chides. He’s worked too hard to be squished on the cheapest couch you could find.

Giving in, you let him drape across your bed, covering him with the blanket after taking off his shoes. You eat a pre-prepared meal, have a long and hot shower before finally being able to fall asleep.

You’re trying to get a blanket from the top of the closet, standing on your tiptoes as you attempt to wrestle the darn thing out when Damian drowsily speaks up from behind you.

“What’s the fuss? Just sleep here,” and now you’re uncertain if you’ve really got the world’s scariest attending surgeon in you apartment or not.

“No-no, it’s okay, just go back to sleep, you must be exhausted,” you reply, returning to the blanket that refuses to cooperate.

Damian huffs, and that was the end of that.

Until he gets up and drags you into your bed, arms wrapped tightly around you waist as he settles once more.

“You shouldn’t sleep on the couch,” he murmurs into your shoulder, lips brushing your skin gently when he talks. “It’ll hurt your neck.”

Damian had a point, but this wasn’t an option you were going to consider, but now that it was happening, you weren’t exactly opposed to it. It’s been a while since you’d been held like this, and it was... nice. Nice enough to make you drift off into sleep.

BONUS

You’d never know that at four in the morning, Damian awoke. Still tired, admittedly, but instantly aware of you in his arms.

A smile crossed is face as he watched you sleep, admiring your features as well as he could in the dark; your lashes, hair, nose, and (most importantly) your lips.

He admired them as long as he could before his eyes grew too heavy and he fell asleep for much needed rest.

[pilkypills]

Do you have any favorite headcanons for the RI brothers?

Oooh good question! As a matter of fact, I do!

Dori-

-I think he’s the kind of guy whose word is his bond. If he says he’ll do something, he’ll do it.

-He redoes his braids as often as he can, even out on the road. He hates having them be messy. Nori’s hair gets on his nerves because it’s never in its proper place and Nori won’t sit still long enough for him to fix it. Also, he can put up and take down his braids extremely fast due to years of having the same hairstyle.

-Also also, about his hair: I think he and Nori tie for having the longest hair in the company, and before his hair turned silver (which I think it did very quickly due to the stress of raising his brothers and providing for them) it was titian, as red and dark as a garnet.

-He keeps a spotless house and holds a grudge forever, even by dwarf standards.

-And of course I love the popular headcanon (half-canon?? I’m not sure) that he has a passion for tailoring and brewing tea, and if he didn’t have to worry about making a living in the Blue Mountains he would’ve made a career out of either of them.

-(I read somewhere that Dori and Gloin don’t get along) Part of his dislike for Gloin is a leftover rivalry from Ori and Gimli’s school days over who’s kid was smarter/cuter/etc. PTA night was like a war zone. Another part of his dislike is from what he sees as Gloin trying to be a big brother to Nori, maybe taking his place a little bit. (According to Chronicles, Gloin is trying to get Nori to care about dwarf history and culture)

Nori

-He's actually kind of rubbish at pickpocketing. BUT he’s an excellent survivalist and a great tracker. He also has a great head for subterfuge.

-He's just as much of a dandy as his brother. He likes expensive things, especially nice clothes. And he would never admit it to Dori’s face, but thinks his brother’s skill at sewing and tailoring are unmatched.

-Out of all of the members of the company, he’s changed his hairstyle the most over the years. He knows perfectly well his current style is impossible to upkeep but he’s too stubborn to admit it.

-Since he’s canonically had dealings with elves, I think he knows a little Sindarin. When Ori learns it himself later, it’s something they get to bond over. (I don’t think Ori knew Sindarin at the time of the quest bc nobody asked him to read the names of Thorin and Gandalf’s swords)

-Has a very, very hard time being sincere. He’s incredibly used to interacting with people who are only out for themselves.

-Nori didn’t really trust or respect Thorin as a leader until pretty late in the quest. After Bofur, he's perhaps the one who gets along with him the least. Nori isn’t the kind of guy to yield to authority and I don't think he'd have a lot in common with him to begin with.

-He often avoided Ori out of guilt when he came back home. He has a hard time connecting with him at first on the quest.

-He started smoking as an adolescent just because he knew Dori wouldn’t approve. Dori still forbids smoking in the house and he still does it anyway. He let Ori try some at one point during the quest and Dori was furious.

Ori

-Taking a little inspiration from some of the very cute bts clips I’ve seen, I think Ori is very snarky and deadpan when he isn’t being polite and mannerly. Fíli, Kíli, and Gimli (and later, Bilbo) have seen just how dry his sense of humor is. He’s a witty guy, just kind of nervous around his elders.

-He was an absolute schemer as a little kid. Rarely got in trouble because he was just so darn cute and angelic looking that no one would believe Fili and Kili when they’d say he helped them with something.

-Has exceptional eyesight for a dwarf, similar to Kili. This one might just be canon, seeing as he was able to hit a warg square in the head with his slingshot. Not his fault the rock was too small to do any damage lol.

-I know opinions on this vary quite a lot, but I’d really like to think he’s got a lot of natural body strength, similar to Dori. He just doesn’t have the self-assuredness to utilize it properly. I don’t know if I’d say he’s as strong as his brother, but I do think if he punched you you’d be in for a nasty surprise.

-Once Dori stops meddling with his hair, Ori lets it grow long. He never really takes to elaborate hairstyles, keeping just enough braids for it to stay out of his eyes while he works.

In general

-If Bilbo had stayed in Erebor, they really would have tried to adopt him officially. And if Bilbo had stayed, he would’ve probably let them.

-Ori’s death shakes Nori and Dori very badly. Dori cuts his beard, becomes withdrawn, and dies a few short years later. Nori takes a turn for the worse and becomes prone to reckless behavior. Ori was the glue that held them together. They blamed themselves for letting him go to Moria.

-They may be dysfunctional, but the love they have for each other is real and unshakeable. Deep down, Nori and Ori are just as protective of the big brother that raised them. Definitely not as mother hen-ish, but protective all the same.

-And of course, I GOTTA go with the popular one: The Ri brothers are absolutely gorgeous by dwarf standards. It’s an oldie but a goodie and you can pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

Thanks for the question!

[lchufflepuffcorn]

Courting

How the matebond Dragon!Hybrids Targaryens courted their Reader.

Note: Hi Anon! I'm so glad you like the series! This was already saved in my drafts, but I'm more than happy to release it now. If you ever want to ask something again, you can refer to yourself as the 🥰anon! It will lead to more; it's part of a mini-series inside this project, so courting comes before nesting, but we'll get there!!

Masterlist

Dragon Hybrid Masterlist

Warning: None.

First off, dragons are expensive beasts. They settle only for the best. This means that you can only receive the best from them too, as a courting gift. Now, which Targaryen would have actually courted you (i.e: which one has a mate bond with Reader). 

Aemond, that’s easy. Clothes, arms, jewels (or other shinies), decorations—everything pretty, or well made, or expensive. If you thought about it, you will have it. He tries to spend as much time with you as possible, away from the people’s eyes. He’s interested in your hobbies and other knowledge you may enjoy, and he will actively research subjects to keep a discussion with you. He has made you a nest, but will never agree to what it actually is, because he’s embarrassed and scared to come off as weak. 

Baela, sends little trinkets in her letters. It’s her principal way of communicating with you when your not at court with her. When you are with her, she tries to spend all of her time with you, walking, training, and practicing various hobbies. She makes sure her claim on you is clear for everybody, not just in silly little gifts, but with her actions also. 

Jace, he will try the most ‘normal’ gifts he can manage, but Vermax goes all in. So your courting gifts looked more like flowers and small, useful, or pretty presents like quills, elegant jewels/pieces of arms, and also sheep, and shiny (but pretty darn big) rocks. Go figure. He has a nest for you; it’s a really pretty nest. (He’s not biased; what are you talking about!!). 

Laenor, now here’s the thing: Laenor was mated to you before his wedding to Rhaenyra. So your relationship was somewhat… interesting. But Laenor courted you in a very classic way. First, he spent time with you, taking interest in what you liked, and then he brought you little gifts: a dagger, a golden ring, a new formal dresswear, etc. And then, he made you a nest. Which basically seals the deal for the dragon spirits. 

Rhaena, her courting went like any lord’s and lady’s courting, having chaperoned moments together, parents discussing your alliance by marriage, and the eventual letters as you grew up. Her shifting came way later in life, and thus the mating bond happened when your relationship was already installed (this girl has luck, my dudes.)

Taglist: @lady-dragon-rider

[certainlynotasimp]

(Saw this come up on my dashboard, so...)

Miguel: *Scrolling through recipes online.*

Miguel: *spits out drink, eyes widening in shock*

Miguel: SEIS leches?

Miguel: en ESTA economia?

(Idk, brain go brrr. Could also be Sunny)

This is screaming Miguel behavior.

He's just a little old man looking through his pocketbook and fussing at Sunny for buying the most expensive ingredients for new recipes.

Miguel, glaring at what all she bought: You don't even you know you like the darn thing and you're spending a fortune on it.

Sunny, pouts: If the ingredients are good, that means it will be good. Don't fuss too much about it Miggy.

Miguel, rolling his eyes: I am when its coming out of my bank account.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

I wore the new coat you gave me every day, until it wasnt new any more. When the collar wore out, i had it replaced. When the elbows tore, i had them patched. by the end of it, the bottom of the coat had been re-hemmed so many times, rolled up upon itself again and again, that it became as short as an undershirt. My Third Brother saw it once, and teased me mercilessly for being such an unfashionable miser. I just laughed along. I couldn't explain. I didn't want to. You were always better at words than I was.

Here at our barracks, we have a custom of passing on our old clothes to the junior officers. Over the course of several years, favorite coats would slowly make its way down the ranks, and if it was fortunate enough to avoid getting lost or destroyed at the end of its distinguished service, the men would split it among themselves to make scarves, turbans, and kerchiefs. (once those small pieces were too far gone, they would be turned into cleaning rags). The old, green battle-coat that my Elder Brother gave me now decorates the brows of my fellow men. It gives me the same warm feeling of contentment to see it on them, as i had once felt wearing it.

I never parted with the new coat you gave me. I wore it until it was no longer new, and kept wearing it long after. If the men noticed, they made no comment. I kept it on under the clothes my Liege Lord and Elder Brother gave me. It started out as the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned, but strangely enough, I only grew fond of it after it became an unsightly mess of patchwork. More darn than silk. If you saw it now, you would have laughed, like you did last time. You might have tried to give me a replacement, and gone away looking so hurt and confused when i refused. You should know by now that i do not take gifts lightly.

One morning, several years after the day we last parted, the coat tore in my hands as i was putting it on. The fabric had become so thin. I folded it up, and kept it safe in my chest until evening. When the stars came out, I brought it out and laid it over the campfire, where the flames ate it up and the winds scattered the ashes far and wide.

————-

Oh boy, it is officially 1 AM and I am having many, many thoughts and feelings tonight about cao cao and guan yu. Notes under the cut.

So the story is inspired by something my mom told me once about clothes recycling in 70s China. She would get hand-me-down clothes from her big sister, once those were worn out, they would go to her little brother, after that, it would be used to patch other clothes, and once those wore out they would be used for rags. Quite a lifecycle. For much of human history, producing textiles was a expensive and time-consuming process, and it made me think about what people do with their old clothes doing the Han Dynasty. In the novel it’s mentioned several times that people would get rewarded old clothes from their superiors, so there is some precedence to this.

————

Cao cao: oh, woe is me, the most miserable man in existence! My love is totally unrequited. Yunchang cares naught for me!

Guan yu: ^

——

I use the translation “coat“ for 袍， there isn’t really a one to one English word, (although it’s often called a “heavy robe”). I’ve decided to go with “coat” to keep it more localized, and because I think “heavy robe” is clunky. Idk how to really explain it, the word robe denotes this very specific style of dress from outsiders perspective, in a way that doesn’t come naturally if you are a native speaker talking about your normal clothes. Vibes vs accuracy, FIGHT!