#dang… my juice

[floral-hex]

bad news. ya boy’s got wicked low testosterone. I’m outta boy juice!

[boydonegood]

oh my god they were roommates

[cottonfluffswirl]

.ham cheese. ham cracker. cheese cracker. ham and cheese cracker. ham and cheese

[sophapop]

Yes, I still do cookie run

[isdalinarhot]

it’s so sad neither Sadeas nor Dalinar can probably cook (horny sigh)

[crehador]

SamaIchi are removed from the game, who do you main in ARB now??

jakurai 🥰

okay so actually it depends! do i still have the rest of my cards on my current account, or am i starting from a fresh account entirely? are the other cards' skills still the same?

if i'm starting from a fresh account my first instinct would be to say the rest of bbmtc, but if there are only two members per division, i wonder what would happen to the leader stills that are like mtc up or bb up. i guess they would just stay the same but you don't get bonuses for samaichi (on account of them not existing) so i could focus on just rijyu cards for example, which might actually make life easier

but if i'm continuing with my current account then definitely jakurai. i went hog fucking wild on the samaichi secret hot springs event and pulled... um... perhaps a bit much. i maxed that ichiro's leader skill is what i'm saying lol (and bear in mind 💀 samatoki was the free one in that event)

since that ichiro card's leader skill gives a boost to him, samatoki, and jakurai, i built up a bunch of jakurai cards afterwards and started using him more (i mean he is one of my top favorites so i had a bunch built anyway) so in the absence of samaichi it would be easiest to switch over to jakurai

that's the boring gameplay angle answer, if it's just about whose cards i would collect for the art and whatnot... honestly probably same answer! the rest of bbmtc, plus jakurai (my og fave)

[ghcstcd]

Would you still like me if i was cringe and mixed my fandom sketchies with my oc sketchies on the same page?

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.

[keeps-ache]

ouh i'm hungryyy

but the only thing to eat is orangesss

i don't want to peel themmm cuz i don't like them under my nailssss

ouhuhguhg [dies]

[gibbearish]

the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice

[threewaysdivided]

Remember when I used to get a chapter out every couple of weeks?

Would love to be able to do that again sometime.

[seven-thewanderer]

,,wgy the heck am I thjonkingb about orange juice

[zazter-den]

Every time I tell myself that either mochi, lai wong bao, or sweet plantains will last the week in my home I am absolutely lying to myself

[mommynott]

Your writing is just so fnzhckdmckznx ARF ARF ARF I canNOT get enough

Could you do something smutty where Theo and reader are like, maybe quidditch rivals but then it’s a rivals to lovers(or fuck buddies hehehehe) and Theo’s an arrogant little thing at finally being able to break reader?👀

ANONNNN YOU ARE TOO DANG SWEET💋💋💋 much love to you heheh

I crafted up this little Drabble of a…hate fuck so to speak but my god- the ideas I have for a full fic

May or may not have a similar idea I’ve been thinking of that should be coming out soon but for now let’s get to some…locker room fun

Hate Fuck

Theodore Nott x Reader

Summary: Enemies? Opponents? Rivals? Whatever it may be you’re face down ass up for Theo right about now 👀

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, SMUT, CHARS 18+, College AU, dom!theo, quidditch!theo, hate fuck, rough sex, taunting, dirty talk, spanking, teasing, PIV, semi-public fuck, fuck buddies, enemies

Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was a known rivalry among Hogwarts that only seemed to intensify as you got to the college years. But you and Theodore Nott? You both loathed each other. Well… at least you used to.

Now? You were bent over in the Slytherin quidditch locker room, getting your back blown the fuck out by none other than Theodore Nott. The captain of the Slytherin team.

“Yeah, look at you…taking this cock…What is this? The sixth time? I’ve lost count.” Theo taunted you, giving you a hard wack against your ass and watching it ripple against his rough thrusts.

“I-I don’t- fuck!”

Squeaking out a moan, your nails dug into the wooden locker room bench. Your eyes scanning over the red and gold quidditch gear that was once on your body….Just a few minutes ago.

“You just keep on coming right back…Can’t get enough…can you, Gryff?”

Again, he growled out most obnoxiously. Pumping his thick cock in and out of you even harder than before, watching as your creamy juices coated it whole. Wanting you to feel all of him.

“-Fuck you, Nott!” You spat through your cries, arching your back even more so to give Theo a perfect view of your ass. Because deep down? Oh fuck. You absolutely loved getting destroyed by Theodore Nott. Getting hate fucked by him. It was your guilty pleasure at this point.

“You already are, Tesoro…but I’ll gladly keep fucking going.”

Digging his hand into your hair, he tugged your head back so far that you could lock eyes. Seeing his ocean gaze as dark as the night sky, the smug smirk painted over his god-like face. Fuck.

“F-fuck!- yes, please…please don’t fucking stop!” A sea of moans and whimpers were escaping your lips by now. The sounds of skin slapping echoing throughout the empty locker room.

Theo only seemed to move faster, getting a good grip around your silky smooth hair. Your glossed-over eyes stared up at him and you saw the most arrogant and sly grin curl up on his lips.

“Fuck…I so do enjoy breaking you like this, Tesoro…I wouldn’t even think to stop.”

Hate fucks have me like 🥵🥵🥵

Requests and asks open smut sluts 💋

Divider pinned in my masterlist🌙

[why4anne]

Juno

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Category: Social Media au

Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?

Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter

Masterlist

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others

yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭

Juno out tonight 8pm EST

view comments:

user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???

user2: Pop is back!

user3: you'll find me SCREAMING

user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?

- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!

- user6: y'all what if she means the movie

- user7: what movie?

- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old

taylorswift: They're not ready for it

- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??

- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!

- user10: easter egg??!!!

- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket

joeyb_9: nice dress

- user12: excuse me? sir?

- user13: I just know they're up to something

lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice

- user14: It's about him then???

- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it

user16: Joe can you fight??

- joeyb_9: yes I can

- user16: oop- I was not expecting that

- user17: he gagged you fr

user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her

- user19: the struggle is real

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others

yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw

view comments:

user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!

user2: girl calm down

user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG

user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...

- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!

user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!

user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N

- user7: we need to spay her frfr

user8: tf you mean freaky positions???

user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her

- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear

- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk

user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't

user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???

user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig

joeyb_9: I feel honored

- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!

- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning

- user17: Joe, are you well???

user18: I always knew they were freaky

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others

yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?

Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!

view comments:

user1: SHE'S INSANE!

user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!

user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????

user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?

user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet

joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year

- yourusername: I just might let you🤭

- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!

- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!

- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???

- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY

- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!

user9: That's enough screen time for you missy

user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY

- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle

user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??

- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one

- user14: both of them are blonde

- user13: @/youmissedthejoke

user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse

- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others

yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?

view comments:

user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app

joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?

- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇

- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW

- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!

- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES

- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!

- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE

- user2: is Ja'marr okay?

- user3: He's crashing out

- user4: bro is tweaking

user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭

- joeyb_9: She's busy

- user6: we need lock him up or something

- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?

- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???

- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!

- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY

user10: looked at myself and sighed

user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??

user12: we need to lobotomize her or something

lahjay10_:

liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others

lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.

view comments:

user1: #unblocky/n

user2: #unblocky/n

user3: #unblocky/n

user4: #unblocky/n

joeyb_9: #unblocky/n

- user5: help- not Joe joining us

- user6: y/n is this you?

- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe

- user7: I can't with this man😭

lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?

- user8: #unblocky/n

- user9: #unblocky/n

yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳

- user10: welcome back queen

- lahjay10_: hope you happy now

- yourusername: the happiest😁

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others

yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!

view comments:

user1: is she okay?

user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating

user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame

user4: on main is CRAZY

user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀

joeyb_9: That can be arranged

- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭

- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me

- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?

- jjettas2: pause.

user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this

user10: I can't with this girl💀

andreiiosivas: are you okay?

- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭

- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry

[This post has been deleted]

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others

yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵

view comments:

user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N

user2: where is crazy Y/N?

user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?

user4: I think her team took her social media away😭

- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too

- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts

- user7: me too girl😔

user8: I'll miss you diva💜

user9: #wewanty/n

- user10: #wewanty/n

- user11: #wewanty/n

- user12: #wewanty/n

user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account

user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment

- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts

- user16: he's silent protesting💀

lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!

- user17: Ja'Marr😭

- user18: Bro rejoicing💀

joeyb_9:

liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others

joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"

view comments:

user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!

user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️

user3: mother is mothering!!!

lahjay10_: you down bad bro

- joeyb_9: and?

- user4: THAT'S A MAN!

- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on

jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?

- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called

- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>

user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏

user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight

user9: Joe is so lucky😔

- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫

- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl

- user 11: STOP😭

- user12: bro be reading all the comments

- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said

- user13: stop that's so cute🥹

One year later:

yourusername:

liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others

yourusername: I let him make me Juno

view comments:

joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️

user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!

user2: mother is a real mother???

user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???

user4: CONGRATS!!!!

jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!

teehiggins: QB loading...

lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏

sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️

andraiiosivas: The best parents!

user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲

[emmyrosee]

Suna Kaiya kicks. Like a lot.

In your tummy, she kicks like you wouldn’t believe, far more than Akito ever did, and it fills you with so much excitement to know she’s happy, she’s healthy, and she’s excited to meet you both.

She’s moving more than usual today, and your hands come up to cradle your stomach, smiling down and letting your thumb soothe over it.

“Morning momma,” Rintaro says, and you smile as Akito sits happily perched on his dads shoulders.

“Morning, mumma!” Your six year old chirps, and you laugh at the duality of them. At the sight of your hands, two pairs of green eyes fall to your stomach, and two wide smiles grow. “Is Kaiya kicking?”

“She is bud,” you beam, moving to pour him a cup of juice as Rin sits him down at the table. “You wanna feel?”

“Yeah!” He says excitedly. With his juice you walk over to him, letting his tiny hands press against your swollen stomach, and he giggles at the feeling. “My baby sister is crazy!” He takes the juice from your hands and brings it to his mouth to sip.

“Rin, you are wanna come feel?” You ask, and he chuckles and shakes his head. He’s always loved your baby bump, loved the kicking of his babies that are growing inside of you, but lately, at his touch, Kaiya’s been kicking more furiously, roughly, and it’s taking its toll on your back.

He’s thrilled she’s already in tuned with his touch. But he hates the effect it has on you.

You roll your eyes, “Rintaro, Kaiya will always kick and hurt my back, you may as well feel her while she’s active and not resting.”

He gives you a small nod and a nervous sigh, stalking over to you and gently resting his hands on your belly. Instantly, the baby kicks at the warmth of his hands, but you’re sure to not pull a face or shift away while he does.

“She’s going crazy,” he laughs, looking at the bump fondly.

“Told you,” you say, gently carding a hand through his hair.

“Dang,” he chuckles, leaning over to kiss your head. “We really made that…”

“How?”

Both of your eyes widen and instantly dart to look at Akito, who’s cheeks are stained with strawberry juice and dark brown eyebrow quirked in interest.

“Uhh-“

“Time to get dressed!” You chirp, moving from Rintaro’s grip to meet your son, whose eyes are curved in confusion.

“But I haven’t had breakfast yet!”

“Breakfast in the living room today, whoo!” You quickly say, looking at Rin nervously who merely laughs at your distress, shaking his head before he starts making breakfast.