#dang… my juice
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floral-hex · 4 months ago
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bad news. ya boy’s got wicked low testosterone. I’m outta boy juice!
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boydonegood · 1 year ago
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oh my god they were roommates
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cottonfluffswirl · 2 years ago
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.ham cheese. ham cracker. cheese cracker. ham and cheese cracker. ham and cheese
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sophapop · 2 years ago
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Yes, I still do cookie run
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isdalinarhot · 8 months ago
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it’s so sad neither Sadeas nor Dalinar can probably cook (horny sigh)
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crehador · 3 months ago
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SamaIchi are removed from the game, who do you main in ARB now??
jakurai 🥰
okay so actually it depends! do i still have the rest of my cards on my current account, or am i starting from a fresh account entirely? are the other cards' skills still the same?
if i'm starting from a fresh account my first instinct would be to say the rest of bbmtc, but if there are only two members per division, i wonder what would happen to the leader stills that are like mtc up or bb up. i guess they would just stay the same but you don't get bonuses for samaichi (on account of them not existing) so i could focus on just rijyu cards for example, which might actually make life easier
but if i'm continuing with my current account then definitely jakurai. i went hog fucking wild on the samaichi secret hot springs event and pulled... um... perhaps a bit much. i maxed that ichiro's leader skill is what i'm saying lol (and bear in mind 💀 samatoki was the free one in that event)
since that ichiro card's leader skill gives a boost to him, samatoki, and jakurai, i built up a bunch of jakurai cards afterwards and started using him more (i mean he is one of my top favorites so i had a bunch built anyway) so in the absence of samaichi it would be easiest to switch over to jakurai
that's the boring gameplay angle answer, if it's just about whose cards i would collect for the art and whatnot... honestly probably same answer! the rest of bbmtc, plus jakurai (my og fave)
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 1 year ago
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being sick as an adult sucks. wdym my mom won’t just automatically make sure I eat food instead of exclusively drinking Gatorade all day. wdym I have to ask my roommates to make me dinner. I have to Venmo a friend money to buy me more Gatorade?? I can’t focus enough to do homework??? I hate this.
#this is a silly haha humor post but in all seriousness.#COVID rly is just making me stare all the internalized ableism in the eye#yes worth isnt defined by productivity and disability and the idea of being a burden is part of being human and isn’t shameful at all#until I have to minorly inconvenience people to meet my basic needs#I really want to eat dinner but that would require asking my roommates to make me dinner which is just. 5 kinda of mortifying.#even though if someone I knew was sick I would not be upset about making them food! sick people need to eat!#my parents ordered me chipotle yesterday bc they were so concerned bc of how I sounded over the phone#and my friend went out and bought me juice and Gatorade and popsicles and took me to the doctor#the support system Exists I just feel bad about having to use it T-T#I just want to be hugged and read to and reminded to eat food but I am an adult now and not at home#lonely TT-TT#it’ll be okay I’m probably just emotional bc I’m sick and hungry#I also just am struggling so hard because I want to catch up on my classwork Right Now#but I can get through maybe one assignment before I’m too exhausted to keep sitting up#and I have to lay down and close my eyes and sleep or do a light activity like playing candy crush for the fifty bazillionth time#I’ve gotten through like. 100 levels this week.#I’m losing my dang marbles. I am gonna be so behind in ASL Susan is gonna be so disappointed in me#I feel like I have all this energy when I’m laying down bored but as soon as I sit up I feel like I’m floating and about to fall over#so. so tired. why can’t I be healthy already and do homework T-T.#I’m choosing to take this as a lesson to slow down and not overwork myself so hard. instead of being mad at myself for getting behind.#<- is trying and failing not to be mad at herself for getting behind
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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the thing with autism right. is i know if i was having a full mental health crisis what i would end up doing is going to the emergency room and being like "hello, my name is (x) birthday (y), um i was hoping to talk to you about potential mental health inpatient care? i'm currently having a mental health crisis and don't think i can be trusted on my own" like if there's one thing i can be sure will live on in me no matter how hard the brainworms try. is my fucking customer service voice
#like itll be busted as fuck because ill be freaking out but you bet ill be sobbing my way through verbally drafting an email#ive done it before‚ like im a frustrated crier and once i start crying i cant turn it off so ive had a couple times where i had a breakdown#at work‚ cried about it a lot‚ and my lead pulled me into a meeting room after i calmed down to check in#and as soon as i started talking it just started again so i had to be like 'sorry th-this is just something m-m-my bod-dy does‚ i-i'm calm#m-mentally but i just c-cant turn this-is off‚ just try to i-ignore HIC it and f-f-focus-s on the w-wwwords‚#(tired of crytyping so just mentally fill it in yourself in everything else i say)#n they offered me more time to chill but im like no really i genuinely am calm‚ i calm down wayyy before my body does its gonna#keep doing this on and off all day‚ it takes hours for it to fully calm down and is on a hair trigger the entire time#so thinking about this will make it kick back up again no matter what unless we talk tomorrow‚ so if youre ok with bearing with me then cool#and theyre like. dang ok and just focused on what i said#or much more recently i was talking to my roommate‚ stopped‚ held up a finger + stood there silently for ten seconds‚#then was like 'sorry about that‚ i think i have to throw up. excuse me for a moment. what was that? oh gotcha yeah i'll message you if i#need anything‚ thank you'#and just typing it out like that it sounds like i was fine and just saw it coming a ways away. however that is not the case#i had had my covid booster and some other vaccine earlier that day‚ lost 5 vials of blood‚ eaten Nothing‚ drank only#acidic-ass apple juice‚ and had just hit my vape too hard#keeping it in once it made its presence known was a feat of will the likes of which have never been seen before#and still my sentences prevail
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threewaysdivided · 2 years ago
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Remember when I used to get a chapter out every couple of weeks?
Would love to be able to do that again sometime.
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seven-thewanderer · 11 months ago
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,,wgy the heck am I thjonkingb about orange juice
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zazter-den · 1 year ago
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Every time I tell myself that either mochi, lai wong bao, or sweet plantains will last the week in my home I am absolutely lying to myself
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mommynott · 4 months ago
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Your writing is just so fnzhckdmckznx ARF ARF ARF I canNOT get enough
Could you do something smutty where Theo and reader are like, maybe quidditch rivals but then it’s a rivals to lovers(or fuck buddies hehehehe) and Theo’s an arrogant little thing at finally being able to break reader?👀
ANONNNN YOU ARE TOO DANG SWEET💋💋💋 much love to you heheh
I crafted up this little Drabble of a…hate fuck so to speak but my god- the ideas I have for a full fic
May or may not have a similar idea I’ve been thinking of that should be coming out soon but for now let’s get to some…locker room fun
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Hate Fuck
Theodore Nott x Reader
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Summary: Enemies? Opponents? Rivals? Whatever it may be you’re face down ass up for Theo right about now 👀
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, SMUT, CHARS 18+, College AU, dom!theo, quidditch!theo, hate fuck, rough sex, taunting, dirty talk, spanking, teasing, PIV, semi-public fuck, fuck buddies, enemies
Gryffindor and Slytherin. It was a known rivalry among Hogwarts that only seemed to intensify as you got to the college years. But you and Theodore Nott? You both loathed each other. Well… at least you used to.
Now? You were bent over in the Slytherin quidditch locker room, getting your back blown the fuck out by none other than Theodore Nott. The captain of the Slytherin team.
“Yeah, look at you…taking this cock…What is this? The sixth time? I’ve lost count.” Theo taunted you, giving you a hard wack against your ass and watching it ripple against his rough thrusts.
“I-I don’t- fuck!”
Squeaking out a moan, your nails dug into the wooden locker room bench. Your eyes scanning over the red and gold quidditch gear that was once on your body….Just a few minutes ago.
“You just keep on coming right back…Can’t get enough…can you, Gryff?”
Again, he growled out most obnoxiously. Pumping his thick cock in and out of you even harder than before, watching as your creamy juices coated it whole. Wanting you to feel all of him.
“-Fuck you, Nott!” You spat through your cries, arching your back even more so to give Theo a perfect view of your ass. Because deep down? Oh fuck. You absolutely loved getting destroyed by Theodore Nott. Getting hate fucked by him. It was your guilty pleasure at this point.
“You already are, Tesoro…but I’ll gladly keep fucking going.”
Digging his hand into your hair, he tugged your head back so far that you could lock eyes. Seeing his ocean gaze as dark as the night sky, the smug smirk painted over his god-like face. Fuck.
“F-fuck!- yes, please…please don’t fucking stop!” A sea of moans and whimpers were escaping your lips by now. The sounds of skin slapping echoing throughout the empty locker room.
Theo only seemed to move faster, getting a good grip around your silky smooth hair. Your glossed-over eyes stared up at him and you saw the most arrogant and sly grin curl up on his lips.
“Fuck…I so do enjoy breaking you like this, Tesoro…I wouldn’t even think to stop.”
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Hate fucks have me like 🥵🥵🥵
Requests and asks open smut sluts 💋
Divider pinned in my masterlist🌙
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why4anne · 3 months ago
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Juno
Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader
Category: Social Media au
Summary: Pop star Y/N L/N cannot behave herself on social media. But who can blame her when her boyfriend looks like that?
Face claim: Sabrina Carpenter
Masterlist
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yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, taylorswift and others
yourusername: Just a little something I wrote recently🤭
Juno out tonight 8pm EST
view comments:
user1: Girlie is finally releasing music again?? Album when???
user2: Pop is back!
user3: you'll find me SCREAMING
user4: Juno?? Like the goddess of love and marriage..?
- user5: Wait! You're onto something!!!!
- user6: y'all what if she means the movie
- user7: what movie?
- user6: Dang, you're making me feel old
taylorswift: They're not ready for it
- user8: TAYLOR????? HELLOOOO??
- user9: REP TV REFERENCE!!!
- user10: easter egg??!!!
- user 11: girl that's a whole easter basket
joeyb_9: nice dress
- user12: excuse me? sir?
- user13: I just know they're up to something
lahjay10_: Joe has not stopped smiling all morning practice
- user14: It's about him then???
- user15: He's giggling and kicking his feet I just know it
user16: Joe can you fight??
- joeyb_9: yes I can
- user16: oop- I was not expecting that
- user17: he gagged you fr
user18: I don't know if I wanna be her, or be with her
- user19: the struggle is real
yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, zendaya and others
yourusername: oops... wrong pic🤭 Juno out now btw
view comments:
user1: you're this thirsty on main????!!!!
user2: girl calm down
user3: NOW THATS WHAT I CALL AN OVULATION SONG
user4: I'm actually speechless after listening to this...
- user5: No becuase WHAT DO YOU MEAN MARK YOUR TERRITORY???!!
user5: hold me and explore me??? GIRL!
user6: SOMEONE NEEDS TO CONTROL MY GIRL Y/N
- user7: we need to spay her frfr
user8: tf you mean freaky positions???
user9: I mean, have you seen her man??? I don't blame her
- user10: The only pop-girlie with a hot boyfriend I fear
- user11: Louis Partridge exists yk
user12: I was gonna say you swan🦢 he frog🐸 but I fear can't
user13: how are you able to look your parents in the eyes after this girl???
user14: She and Joe be freaky like that ig
joeyb_9: I feel honored
- user15: YOU GUYS ARE INSANE!!
- user16: did not expect this when I woke up this morning
- user17: Joe, are you well???
user18: I always knew they were freaky
yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, milliebobbybrown and others
yourusername: One of me is cute, but two though?
Surprise! Double whammy you guys 34+35 out now!
view comments:
user1: SHE'S INSANE!
user2: nah what do you mean 34+35??? you freakyyyyy!!!
user3: tf you mean "got the neighbors yelling earthquake"????
user4: What kind of freak-juice do they put in the water in Cincinnati?
user5: Let me breath, damn. I haven't even recovered from Juno yet
joeyb_9: I can make sure that there is two of you by this time next year
- yourusername: I just might let you🤭
- lahjay10_: BRING BACK SHAME!!!!
- jjettas2: NORMALIZE BULLYING!!!
- user6: Ja'marr?? Justin?? hello???
- user7: I stand with Justin and Ja'marr because writing this on main is CRAZY
- user8: WE NEED TO PUT BOTH JOE AND Y/N IN HORNY JAIL!
user9: That's enough screen time for you missy
user10: THESE LYRICS ARE CRAZYYYY
- user11: They're not even trying to be subtle
user12: Didn't Joe say in one interview that he goes to bed by like 8pm. Tf you mean "we started at midnight, go 'til the sunrise"??
- user13: One of them is lying and I think it's the blonde one
- user14: both of them are blonde
- user13: @/youmissedthejoke
user15: yall are acting like this is sum crazy shit but if I had a boyfriend who looked like that I would be acting WAYYYY worse
- user16: FR! Like if I looked like Y/N and my bf looked like Joe, you would not be catching us leaving the house
yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, alix_earle and others
yourusername: Have you ever tried this one?
view comments:
user1: Ma'am there are kids on this app
joeyb_9: yeah we did it last night, remember?
- yourusername: no, can you remind me😇
- lahjay10_: EW EW EW EW EW
- lahjay10_: THAT'S ENOUGH!
- lahjay10_: I NEED BLEACH FOR MY EYES
- lahjay10_: I'M TELLING MANAGEMENT!!
- lahjay10_: THIS IS AN HR ISSUE
- user2: is Ja'marr okay?
- user3: He's crashing out
- user4: bro is tweaking
user5: we can try it out if you want to🤭
- joeyb_9: She's busy
- user6: we need lock him up or something
- yourusername: would handcuffs suffice?
- user7: EXCUSE ME!!???
- user8: Girl this is a public comment section!
- user9: Saying that on Beyonce's internet is CRAZY
user10: looked at myself and sighed
user11: girl, who is in charge of your social media??
user12: we need to lobotomize her or something
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lahjay10_:
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liked by teehiggins, andreiiosivas and others
lahjay10_: The trenches look a little different when you in the inside of the Spectre.
view comments:
user1: #unblocky/n
user2: #unblocky/n
user3: #unblocky/n
user4: #unblocky/n
joeyb_9: #unblocky/n
- user5: help- not Joe joining us
- user6: y/n is this you?
- joeyb_9: Nope, this is actually Joe
- user7: I can't with this man😭
lahjay10_: aight what the hell is going on?
- user8: #unblocky/n
- user9: #unblocky/n
yourusername: I'VE BEEN UNBLOCKED!!🥳
- user10: welcome back queen
- lahjay10_: hope you happy now
- yourusername: the happiest😁
yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, andreiiosivas and others
yourusername: AAAAAAAHHHH! JOE BURROW PLEASE PUSH ME UP A WALL AND THROW ME ACROSS THE ROOM! I wanna climb this man like a tree. I wanna gnaw on his biceps like a beaver and I wanna scratch his back like a goddamn feral cat!
view comments:
user1: is she okay?
user2: I can just tell that she's ovulating
user3: well you can actually do that if you want to #wearenotthesame
user4: on main is CRAZY
user5: I didn't realize this was Y/N's account, deadass thought it was a horny fan-account💀
joeyb_9: That can be arranged
- user6: He's so nonchalant with it😭
- user7: I know I should be used to this by now but at the same time his comments never fails to flabbergast me
- user8: Remember when we used to have shame?
- jjettas2: pause.
user9: Yall are calling her crazy but she's so real for this
user10: I can't with this girl💀
andreiiosivas: are you okay?
- user11: Help not Andrei lowkey being concerned😭
- user12: She just ovulating, don't worry
[This post has been deleted]
yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, lahjay10_ and others
yourusername: Juno is now number one on the Billboard hot 100! Thank you so much to everyone who streamed🩵
view comments:
user1: this caption does not sound like my girl Y/N
user2: where is crazy Y/N?
user3: did you get your social media hacked or sum?
user4: I think her team took her social media away😭
- user5: yeah cuz her last (extremely unhinged) post was deleted too
- user6: Noooooo! I lived for Y/N's posts
- user7: me too girl😔
user8: I'll miss you diva💜
user9: #wewanty/n
- user10: #wewanty/n
- user11: #wewanty/n
- user12: #wewanty/n
user13: congratulations, but please give my girl back her account
user14: The biggest sign that this isn't Y/N is that Joe didn't comment
- user15: fr! he always comments on her posts
- user16: he's silent protesting💀
lahjay10_: I can finally scroll on instagram without getting a jumpscare🙏 I used to pray for times like this!
- user17: Ja'Marr😭
- user18: Bro rejoicing💀
joeyb_9:
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liked by lahjay10_, sam_hubbard_ and others
joeyb_9: Since someone got her social media privileges taken away, I had to be the one to post this photo of her because she said: "I look cute in this photo, the world deserves to witness it"
view comments:
user1: get yourself a man who posts you on his instagram when you can't!
user2: she was right, I had to witness this🙂‍↕️
user3: mother is mothering!!!
lahjay10_: you down bad bro
- joeyb_9: and?
- user4: THAT'S A MAN!
- user5: I swear my pants were JUST on
jjettas2: what happened to the social media break?
- joeyb_9: boyfriend duties called
- user6: When he breaks his social media break for you>>
user7: Thank you for blessing us like this🙏
user8: I am straight, I am straight, I am straight
user9: Joe is so lucky😔
- user10: He gets to wake up to this everyday😫
- joeyb_9: It's a pretty sweet sight ngl
- user 11: STOP😭
- user12: bro be reading all the comments
- joeyb_9: gotta make sure only nice things are said
- user13: stop that's so cute🥹
One year later:
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yourusername:
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liked by joeyb_9, jjettas2 and others
yourusername: I let him make me Juno
view comments:
joeyb_9: Prettiest mommy in the whole world ❤️
user1: OMG I AM TOTALLY NOT FREAKING OUT!
user2: mother is a real mother???
user3: Those unhinged posts actually led to this???
user4: CONGRATS!!!!
jjettas2: Congratulations you two! So happy for you!
teehiggins: QB loading...
lahjay10_: Blessed to be baby Burrow's uncle🙏
sam_hubbard_: Congratulations!❤️
andraiiosivas: The best parents!
user5: when mama y papa actually become mama y papa🥲
881 notes · View notes
emmyrosee · 11 months ago
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Suna Kaiya kicks. Like a lot.
In your tummy, she kicks like you wouldn’t believe, far more than Akito ever did, and it fills you with so much excitement to know she’s happy, she’s healthy, and she’s excited to meet you both.
She’s moving more than usual today, and your hands come up to cradle your stomach, smiling down and letting your thumb soothe over it.
“Morning momma,” Rintaro says, and you smile as Akito sits happily perched on his dads shoulders.
“Morning, mumma!” Your six year old chirps, and you laugh at the duality of them. At the sight of your hands, two pairs of green eyes fall to your stomach, and two wide smiles grow. “Is Kaiya kicking?”
“She is bud,” you beam, moving to pour him a cup of juice as Rin sits him down at the table. “You wanna feel?”
“Yeah!” He says excitedly. With his juice you walk over to him, letting his tiny hands press against your swollen stomach, and he giggles at the feeling. “My baby sister is crazy!” He takes the juice from your hands and brings it to his mouth to sip.
“Rin, you are wanna come feel?” You ask, and he chuckles and shakes his head. He’s always loved your baby bump, loved the kicking of his babies that are growing inside of you, but lately, at his touch, Kaiya’s been kicking more furiously, roughly, and it’s taking its toll on your back.
He’s thrilled she’s already in tuned with his touch. But he hates the effect it has on you.
You roll your eyes, “Rintaro, Kaiya will always kick and hurt my back, you may as well feel her while she’s active and not resting.”
He gives you a small nod and a nervous sigh, stalking over to you and gently resting his hands on your belly. Instantly, the baby kicks at the warmth of his hands, but you’re sure to not pull a face or shift away while he does.
“She’s going crazy,” he laughs, looking at the bump fondly.
“Told you,” you say, gently carding a hand through his hair.
“Dang,” he chuckles, leaning over to kiss your head. “We really made that…”
“How?”
Both of your eyes widen and instantly dart to look at Akito, who’s cheeks are stained with strawberry juice and dark brown eyebrow quirked in interest.
“Uhh-“
“Time to get dressed!” You chirp, moving from Rintaro’s grip to meet your son, whose eyes are curved in confusion.
“But I haven’t had breakfast yet!”
“Breakfast in the living room today, whoo!” You quickly say, looking at Rin nervously who merely laughs at your distress, shaking his head before he starts making breakfast.
1K notes · View notes
gauntletqueen · 7 months ago
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Oh Dang choking on orange juice fucking Suuucks! And on my birthday? Choking on orange juice on my birthday? Transphobic orange juice on my birthday???
757 notes · View notes
onelittlespiral · 1 year ago
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You should definitely do a preppy boy tf!
FML: Contact
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I knew I should have charged my phone before I left, but I was running late and didn’t want to miss my study session. I know, I know it was stupid. But the walk was only supposed to be a few blocks. I have no idea how I got this lost. It felt like I was wandering for hours, but I kept just going around in circles and ending up in front of this gym. Great, just what I needed before finals week. Maybe I should stop an- ugh. My bag spilled out in front of me as I wa a knocked to the ground.
“Hey, sorry bro.”
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It seems like on about my third time around the block I finally ran into one of the gym’s patrons, idiot. For the life of me I will never know how those guys will walk out in shorts in December. I started to scoop my belongings back into my bag.
“Here, let me help- Ah fuck, that could be bad.” He picked up my laptop and handed it to me. Thankfully it seems that there wasn’t any real damage, but a few deep scratches were carved in the metal and the screen was definitely cracked.
“Just what I needed today! Look where you’re going next time!” I was nearly in tears. I was lost, I was frustrated, I think the fall tore a hole in my khakis, and now my computer would be busted till after finals.
“Hey, I said I was sorry. Didn’t mean to knock a shrimp like you down. I didn’t even hit you that hard…”
“Well sue me if I don’t have time to get swoll bro,” I spat, “but some of us have finals to study for.”
“Oh dang, that’s where I know you from! English 110, with Professor Kim. Yeah, you’re always in the front and answering shit.” Immediately the puzzle pieces clicked. I can’t blame myself for not recognizing him. He must have been one of the dudes who sat in the back, and they all basically acted, talked, and looked about the same. A bunch of gym rats struggling through the gen eds. I’m genuinely surprised he can to class often enough to recognize me. “Hey man, are you studying for this final later? I’m just like not getting this stuff. Like, why are they having Exercise Science majors out here studying English anyways?”
“Uhh, yeah maybe.” At this point I was past the point of caring about this conversation. It was such a simple class I hardly had even glanced over the study guide. I had packed my things and was making to get up and leave.
“Here bruh, lemme help you up,” and he extended his hand to me. I grabbed hold as a small shock passed between us. It was just a split second, but as his calloused, sweaty had grasped mine, I felt a jolt that stuck my hair on end. I hardly had time to notice as he hoisted me up. “Hey, if you do end up reviewing later, maybe give me a heads up. We could do a study session or something.” He pulled out a pen and scribbled on the back of a receipt. Grabbing my hand again, and pulled me into a bro hug before I could protest. Up close he was warm and humid, sweat cooling in the cold winter air. He left the paper in my hand when he pulled away. He smirked, “You should ask inside, they may be able to help. I’ll see you later tonight.” There was a confidence in his voice that sent a chill down my spine. Before I knew it he had booked it, and I was left with a piece of paper, a broken computer, and a sinking realization I was still lost.
With few options left, I popped into the gym my classmate had just come out of. Maybe they would have a charger I could borrow or be able to help me with directions. At least it was warm inside. I walked over to the man at the desk, asking “Hey, sorry to bother. Do you all have a phone charger? I am completely lost and out of juice.”
“You can bother me any time,” the attendant said with a wink, “We’ve got some chargers in the locker room, but management is struck about people using facilities without paying. You already a member with us?”
“No, do I look like a member with you all? Please, I’m tired and at this point I just need to get home.” I groaned.
“Well sorry bro, you’ve gotta get those gains somewhere… let’s see, a day pass only runs about $5,” he slid the card reader to me.
“Fine.” I thrust my card into the machine and grabbed my receipt, storming off towards the locker room.”
“Enjoy your time! Oh, sir. Those aren’t the locker rooms they are the changing ro-” and the swinging door cut him off. I cut to the first door on my left. The overhead lights activated as I walked in. The inside was warm, hotter even than the lobby. For locker rooms, there were very few lockers. Just cooler with some sports drinks, some mirrors, and a charging station. No one else was inside, so I sat down on a bench and set my phone down on the charging station. With the heat I quickly began stripping layers, till I was down to my sweater, but I was not going shirtless in this place. It looked like it would be a while before my phone would be charged. I tried to put the whole situation out of my mind as I laid back and relaxed, carried to sleep in the thick heat…
I woke up a while later, disoriented and thirsty. It may have been a bad idea to sleep in the sweater, the thing was practically dripping in sweat now. I began to pull off the damp thing when I was shocked to see what was underneath:
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Abs. Pecs. Abs and pecs. I had to be dreaming, when did I go from a stick to having abs and pecs. Not only that, but my arms. Thick and smooth, my arms looked swollen, as though I had been working them out for years. And my legs, they felt like lead beneath me, so heavy I could hardly move them. I could crush a melon between my thighs. And my poor shoes, they were practically in tatters on the floor. My toes poked out of the remains, leather torn between my meaty soles. I looked in the mirror to get a full picture. If I didn’t see it I wouldn’t have believed it, I was a whole different man.
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I grabbed my phone and booked it out the door back to the front desk. The same attendant was there, looking me up and down as I passed by:
“Well hey there handsome. How are you enjoying our amenities?”
I just about strangled him, “What the hell happened? What did you all do to me?!?”
“I did try to tell you. Locker rooms are the other side. Those are the changing rooms.”
“What’s that supposed mean?”
“Well, look at yourself. Must have gone for the muscle enhancement, eh? Not a bad look on you.” I could just about wipe that smug look off his face.
“Cut the bull crap, I didn’t ask for this. If you all changed me into this change me back.”
“So sorry,” the apology dripped from his lips, “but things don’t quite work that way. For more specialized changes you have to get a full membership.”
“That’s a fucking lie,” I shouted, “You never said shit about this. I don’t need your membership. Change me back, now.”
“Woah, calm down there hot stuff, no need to get so worked up. How about this. My boss is home for the night. I know what you looked like when you came in. I can sneak you back into one of our specialty changing rooms, and I’ll calibrate it myself. Deal?”
I was about in tears, “Deal.”
He took my hand and lead me to the changing room all the way in the back. Same set up, same bench in a mostly barren room. This one was maybe a tad smaller. His voice came on over the intercom:
“Alright, now just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.”
This time, deep red lights came on and that same heat began to fill the room. It somehow felt a bit different. The other heat wrapped around, this one felt like it pierced. In moments my body was flooded with warmth. Sweat rolled down my body as the room began having its effects. But something wasn’t right. Instead of shrinking down to my lithe self, my body felt like it was bubbling, and began to swell even more.
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“Hey. HEY! What the hell! What are you doing out there? Wrong way asshole!”
He chuckled into the intercom, “What? I think it’s a good look on you.”
“You’re supposed to change me back!” I shouted
“I said I would calibrate the room. I didn’t say how. You should feel lucky, you’re getting the VIP treatment for free!”
Everywhere sweat rolled my muscles stretched as my body began writhing under the feeling of its growth. It felt… it felt… oh god it felt… so…good. But it had to be stopped. I couldn’t keep going like this. I put all my effort into standing up and lunged for the door handle. It didn’t budge, locked from the outside.
“Oh, is this not to your taste?” he teased “Well, I already did smooth jock tonight. Fine, let’s try this then.”
The red lights switched off as dull LED’s took their place. At the same time, a mist began pouring into the room. The smell made me dizzy as I slumped back on the bench behind me. The haze curled around me and stuck to my skin. It smelled like aftershave, sharp and fresh, with a coolness that made me shiver. My skin began to tingle wherever it touched. I watched as my skin turned to goosebumps, then slowly a fine layer of fuzz began to coat my pecs. It grew and curled wherever the mist lead it. It blazed a treasure trail down my abs and branched out to cover them. I could only moan as my body pushed out my new pelt. It curled around my back as a forest erupted behind me. Working it’s way up, I felt a tickle on my jaw and cheeks. It caressed my face as a five o-clock shadow pushed out from my smooth face, and in moments a full beard was pushed out. It’s curling tendrils even worked on the hair I already had. I felt the hair on top of my head stand on end before following the mist into a thick mop. It worked it’s way into my gapping mouth too, and I felt my throat stretch and adjust, my moans coming out much deeper. Then it concentrated on my groin and pits. My previously trimmed bushes grew wild, quickly becoming a tangle. As my pubes grew around, it felt soooo good. I began getting hard, but the mist only took that as an opportunity. Something else to grow and curve. It stretched 6, 7, 8, 9 inches straight out before curving distinctly up. I was in pure ecstasy, with only the thought of the man outside watching keeping me from fully jacking off.
“Wow, what a grower. I knew you had potential but, woof.”
“You… won’t… *gasp*…get away… with… with this!”
“Oh, still a little rebel in you? Maybe we can bring that out a bit.”
The mist receded, and overhead the lights began to strobe and a loud white noise began to play. The pattern was disorientating and it hurt to watch. But even when I closed my eyes I couldn’t escape. A splitting headache developed as my emotions all turned to anger. I tried to shout, to call for it to stop, but my words didn’t even reach my ears. I watched in glimpses as I began to scream, deep and primal, rage in my eyes. My arm clenched into a fist and I ran up to pound the door down. It still didn’t budge but the shock sent a ripple down my arm. In the mirror I watched as in slow motion a full sleeve tattoo stretched down my arm. I sat down in pain and fear and anger as I grew close to tears. But the back of my mind knew that I could not cry, not anymore. Then, all at once it stopped. I realized I was still shouting. I felt pissed off, aggressive. When I got out of this room, I was gonna pummel that twink into submission.
“God, that one always gets me. I love a man with tattoos.”
“Fuck OFF” I growled. I looked in the mirror at the monster I had become:
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My mind was being flooded with emotions, a sense of loss for the person I was, a rage at the man who had done this to me, an animalistic horniness from my sizable new cock, and a deep terror for what else could happen. I channeled that fury and made one last attempt on the locked door. I yanked and rattled the door with all the strength this new body could muster. I felt the handle flex beneath my grip, before a loud *snap* sent me plummeting to the ground. The handle had come off the door. I banging against the door, shouting for anyone to come help me.
“Hmmm,” the attendant contemplated, “I may have gone too far with the rage this time. You��re a beast bro, but let’s reign it in. A healthy dose of this should help.”
A new cloud filled the room, this one thicker than the last. It was damp and sticky and clung to every inch of me. This one smelled rich and acrid, like an arm pit that had long since sweat through any deodorant. It was as though every patron of the gym had joined me in the room fresh from their workout. The fog was so thick I felt as though I was beginning to choke. It slid heavily down my throat and made my eyes water. That’s when I felt it begin to corrupt me. My enraged mind became calm, then addled as my brain filled with the all consuming fog. Memories flashed before my eyes as I felt them slip from my mind, replaced with false copies. I felt my college experience shift from books and classes to working out and tutoring sessions. My classes in journalism and writing were swapped for work out routines and remedial math. Then my cock began twitching as memories of hot workout sessions with my bros filled my mind, replacing my book club. As my mind relaxed and the new memories came to me easier and easier. My IQ was slipping down quickly, resting now somewhere around 75. As my mind relaxed I felt my body do so too. The cloud began seeping into my pores, filling me with its corrupting influence. My body betrayed me, greedily sucking up the cloud until the room was completely clear. I felt warm and tingly, my body pressed flat against the cold floor. I lifted my arm to get a good wiff of my funk. My cock jumped in response. God I needed to fuck. The cloud had saturated me, inside and out, soaking me in a new identity.
“How are you feeling in there big guy?” a voice was on the other side of a speaker in the room.
“Aight I guess man. I’m tired. Guess I passed out in here,” I replied. God, just waking up from a nap and I had my morning wood. The door opened, a cute bro was on the other side.
“Have you enjoyed your day pass sir?” He asked.
“Hell yeah Lil’ bro, it’s been good. This gym is stacked. I haven’t felt this worn out after a workout in a while!”
“Have you considered upgrading that day pass to a full membership? I know I would love to see you around,” he said with a wink.
“Mmm, wouldn’t mind seeing you every day. Gimme the forms.” He led me out to the lobby, I signed a few forms, and handed me a card.
“Now remember next time, locker rooms are over there,” he smirked. “Here, this is free with your sign up.”
He threw a tank top over to me. Good thing too, I think I forgot mine at home. It fit snugly over my huge chest. It made my arms look huge too. Just a shame I sweat so much after a workout, I already had some pit stains going. Shit, I was rank.
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“Thanks bro, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I strolled out the door into the cold winter air. I flexed, feeling the breeze wick some of my sweat away.
“Hey, excuse me?” Some dork walked up to me, looking desperate. I felt like I knew him from somewhere, though I couldn’t place it. “Would you happen to be able to help me? I have been going around in circles and can’t seem to find my way. I have an exam in just a few hours.”
“Nah, sorry man. I’m not quite sure I’m able to help. Never been good with directions huhu,” that’s when it clicked, “Hey, you’re in my bio class aren’t you? Ah shit, is that exam today?!? Fuck, I’m never gonna pass that crap.”
He looked a little flabbergasted, but made some excuses and was about to move on when I grabbed him. I felt something pass between us, as his gaze fell onto me, unblinking, “You should check in the gym bro, I know they can help you out.” I pulled away and the moment passed. I reached into my pocket and pulled out two receipts. The first was my receipt for my day pass. I scribbled down my contact info, and handed it off to the nerd. “Here, if you want to talk about lifting with me and my buds later you should give me a call. Looking a little scrawny bruh.”
He took the receipt before wandering towards the gym entrance. I then looked at the second paper I pulled out. Oh yeah, it was that hot gym bro from earlier. Yeah, I could meet up with him for sure. His name at the top rang a faint bell. For a split second, I remembered a friend I would sit next to in class. Smart, nerdy, nothing like the man I had met on the sidewalk earlier... But just then I felt my brain pounding, and I couldn’t focus on… whatever it was I was thinking about. Oh, right. Hot jock. Yeahhh, I’m gonna go see if he wants these rank pits shoved in his face while I ride his cock.
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Maybe not what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy anyways ❤️
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