#like… I could be more normal in a week or two
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take two
you weren’t expecting to see him again, but here he is. jake’s back, and with him comes everything you’ve been trying to move on from. so, what now?
PAIRING : ex!jake x y/n
GENRE : second chance love, ex's to lovers, smut, angst. bathroom sex, choking + hair pulling :D
WC : like 7k?
MDNI
your coworkers convinced you to go out with them after work. it is friday, after all, so you thought it would be a good start to your weekend after a long week of work.
across the street from your workplace is a bar that your coworkers and other workers nearby visit regularly. it's not too small and not too big, but on weekends, it's particularly busy. there are some booths that align the edges of the place, a counter area to order drinks, and a pretty large dance floor.
your coworkers and you snag a booth in the far corner.
your nails tap against the scratched wooden table as your coworkers look at the menu, thinking about ordering an appetizer for you all to share. to be honest, you aren't really hungry, and you are getting tired of them arguing about what to order.
"i'm just going to the bar to get a drink," you inform them, causing them to glance up at you.
"oh, can you get me a beer, y/n?" lila asks, her eyes lighting up.
"can you get me one, too?" daisy adds hopefully.
"why don't you just get us a jug of beer to share, y/n?" serena suggests instead.
"yeah! that would be better!" lila nods, her smile taking up her entire pretty face. daisy nods in agreement, looking between the two at the table and you.
"uh, yeah, okay! no problem!" you agree with your coworkers and turn towards the bar.
you sigh to yourself as you ask the bartender for a jug of beer and slide him $30 across the counter. you don't like beer, but you've just started working at this company and quickly realized how cliquey it is. the girls you came with tonight are more popular at your work. they're pretty and good at their jobs. you were shocked when they invited you to go out with them tonight.
since you're new at your job and don't know anyone properly yet, you decide to go out with these girls, even if they aren't your usual friend type. that's why you're ordering beer instead of your normal drink. you're used to trying to fit in with other groups and surrendering your authentic self, though you thought you wouldn't have to once you graduated college.
the bartender places a jug of beer on the counter; you reach for it simultaneously with someone else—your hand brushes against the stranger's hand on the jug's handle. you pull back quickly and start to apologize, "oh, i'm so sorry i thought that was mi-," the words die on your tongue.
"y/n?"
the way he says your name is too familiar for your liking. you've heard him say it many times before and never thought you would hear it again.
"jake?" you respond, and as you do, you realize it's the first time you've said his name out loud in years.
jake looks the same but different all at once. his features are more mature than they were in freshman year, and his hair is longer. his chest is more built, and you can't help but notice how the shirt he's wearing is so snug against his arms, which are bigger than you remembered. his eyes are more tired and sunken than they were those years ago.
"yeah, it's been a while." he speaks awkwardly, but he doesn't make a move to escape.
his words force you to think back about when you last saw him, the pain of that memory is suppressed but still somehow fresh. you remember the both of you yelling and crying and him leaving your dorm room for the last time by slamming the door behind him.
jake was your first boyfriend.
you met in your first year of college, and within a week, you were dating. the first half of your relationship was perfect. if only it could have stayed that way.
before the beginning of the sophomore year had even started, your relationship with jake sim had faltered. you think it was both of your faults as to why it ended. he began to get more popular and wanted to go out and neglected your needs for his social life, and you started to get more self-conscious and insecure.
it wasn’t long after your breakup that jake sim had disappeared.
you hadn’t even known he left until your mutual friends and acquaintances had started asking you where he went. but you were as shocked as they were.
you aren’t sure where he went, but you knew for a fact that he had dropped out of your university. there was a few rumours about where he had gone, like to france to learn french or that he went back to australia because his family had gone bankrupt.
you (and probably everyone else he ever knew) checked his social media daily to see if he changed anything or posted anything. he never posted on his snapchat again, didn’t retweet a stupid meme on twitter (i will never call it X). his instagram only had one small change suddenly, a few months after he had left. the first letter of your name that was in his instagram bio had been deleted.
you remember the feeling of your heart sinking into your stomach when you pressed his username in your recent searches, thinking that nothing would have changed, that his instagram would still look like he was forever stuck in the past. but the first thing you noticed when it slid onto his account was your initial gone. it comforted you but devastated you at the same time.
on one hand, he was at least alive and safe if he was editing his insta bio, and on the other hand, he really had moved on from you.
after he removed your initial you stopped checking all of his social media. at some point, he had deleted his instagram completely, but you weren’t shocked by that as much.
you had thought you would never see jake sim ever, again and that you could move on with your life.
but that didn't last long since he's standing directly in front of you right now.
he continues with your lack of response, "you look good, though, y/n."
you glance down at your work attire, just some dress pants and a blouse, "thanks, i'm just here after work."
"oh, where do you work?"
"uh, across the street, at the law firm, across the street."
his eyes light up at the information, "oh my god, you always wanted to work there! that's great!"
you smile painfully at his remembering of what you wanted to do after college. your gaze softening with a sadness you couldn’t quite hide. it was like you’re scared that if you blink he’d disappear again.
"what?" he asks you with a curious smile, obviously picking up on your expression.
"sorry," you shook your head to come back to reality, "i just… i never thought i’d see you again."
jake’s laugh was quick and full, like how you remembered it, “yeah, me neither to be honest.
your head tilted slightly, yourbrows knitting together. "where did you go, anyways? like, when you dropped out?"
his smile faltered at that, just a fraction, but it was enough for you to notice. there was a hesitation in his eyes, his mouth opening like he was searching for the right words to be able to explain himself.
but before he could speak, "here's your beer, miss." the bartender places another jug of beer beside jake's. you thank him before he moves on to the other customers, demanding his attention.
you glance back at jake, "i've got to get back to my coworkers…"
jake nods, and you can sense some disappointment in him, "right, i guess uh, i'll see you around maybe."
"yeah, maybe."
"it was nice seeing you, though. have fun with your coworkers."
you offer him a faint smile, "it was nice seeing you too; bye, jake."
you turn on your heel and start to walk back to your table. you feel like the blood has entirely left your body as your heart quickens. you can't believe you just saw your ex after all these years. you realize how fresh the pain is still.
you place the jug of beer on the table, and the other girls barely speak to you as they cheer for the alcohol and pour it into their cups.
for the rest of the night, you force yourself to sit there, listening to lila complain about the girl in the cubicle beside her, serena whining about how your boss has been avoiding her since their most recent hookup, and daisy hating the way the other girls in the office dress.
you try to focus on their conversations, but it feels draining. you wonder how you got yourself in this position.
you thought your life would be so different after college—that you'd actually enjoy life. but you're starting to think it's all the same no matter where you are. you're holding a cup of a drink that you don't even like and pretending to fit in with these coworkers that you really don't like.
in the same bar, there's jake sim, your ex-boyfriend of all people. you can't help but wonder how he's genuinely been and what he's been up to now.
it's a thought that keeps you up at night every few months: what would have happened if you had stayed together during college if you hadn't let your insecurities get the best of you, if you had gone out with him to those parties he was always going to?
before you can stop yourself, your gaze shifts across the room. there he is. jake is sitting at a table with a few friends, a faint smirk playing on his lips as he listens to someone speak. your heart clenches as his eyes suddenly lift, locking onto yours through the crowded bar.
the noise around you silences. his gaze feels heavier than it should—like he's reading every thought you've buried, every emotion you swore you'd moved past. you want to look away, pretend that you don't see him, but you can't. his eyes are prettier than you remembered.
just as your thoughts start spiraling, a waitress steps in front of his table, breaking eye contact. it's enough to jolt you back to reality, enough to remind you of where you are and who you're supposed to be now.
"i think i'm gonna head home," you tell your coworkers, forcing a weak smile as you grab your bag.
they barely notice as you slip away, the bar noise fading behind you as you step outside.
every step you take home leads to a new memory you've suppressed about jake. like when he used to hum his favorite song as he drove, how he pulled his jacket off and covered your head with it from the sudden rain one night, and the memory of how his voice sounded so deep and raspy in the morning as he begged you to stay "just a little longer" in bed.
how could jake still affect you after all these years?
you wipe the tear falling down your cheek.
you spent the rest of the weekend wondering why you had the worst luck. you could’ve run into anyone you’ve ever met, but it just had to be jake sim.
your break up with jake was hard on you. he was the first boy you ever loved. sometimes you wondered if he would be the only boy you’ll ever love.
since jake, you’ve gone on a few dates with other boys; some you’ve met on shitty dating apps and others your friends had set you up with. most of them never went to a second date and the rest didn’t last more than a year.
it was starting to frustrate you and you were beginning to think you’d be single forever.
your friends asked you what was wrong with all the boys you’ve dated, and you could never tell them a straightforward answer. you felt like you were looking for something in each of them that they never had. sometimes your mind would tell you that you’re looking for jake within them, but you never let yourself ponder on that thought for long.
when monday rolled around again, you realize you spent the entire weekend holed up in your apartment with thoughts of jake sim taking up your entire mind. you tell yourself that the past 48 hours was the final time you’d ever think about him and you went to work.
you are kind of proud of yourself for not thinking too much about jake sim all week.
everytime your ex boyfriend would seep into your mind, you reminded yourself to not think about him. there is no good about thinking about all the what if’s that surround him and your relationship. that your history with jake sim is done, and you’ll never see him again.
this friday night, you aren’t spending it in a corner of a bar with your coworkers that you mildly hate, but spending it in a corner of a bar with your college friends for one of their birthdays.
you had met the birthday girl, aeri, during your freshman year of college and she had easily become one of your best friends. even after college aeri and you have made sure to remain close, despite both of you working a lot of longer hours now.
you show up at the bar she had texted you the address to earlier on time, wearing a short black dress that you always wanted to wear but never a reason to. you’re quick to spot your friend group in the bar. they were loud and already filling up two tables pushed together.
“oh my god! y/n!” aeri suddenly squeals as she sees you over the many heads of your friends.
the whole group turns at your name and you’re suddenly being pulled into many hugs as you greet all your friends. some of them you haven’t seen since graduation, but others you’ve seen last week.
“happy birthday, aeri,” you greet your best friend finally, handing her her gift in a pink bag.
“aw, thank you so much, y/n!” she pulls you into a tight hug, your chin squeezed against her shoulder and neck.
“it’s no problem! i hope you like it!”
“oh, you know i will.” aeri moves her hand dismissively, but then her eyes suddenly light up. “oh my god, y/n, wait, guess who showed up!”
you tilt your head curiously, “who?”
“jake!”
his name makes your blood run cold and your body heat up at the same time. you follow with your eyes where your best friend's finger is pointing, and sure enough, jake sim is sitting at the table.
unlike last week, jake’s hair is pushed back neatly and he’s wearing an all black suit, he looks more put together. it makes your heart stop for a minute as you take in his appearance. his chocolate brown eyes are looking back at you with a sheepish smile on his face.
“isn’t it great y/n? he’s back!” aeri continues, not being able to contain her own excitement for her old friend returning.
“uh, yeah, it is.” you nod, not being able to form any other words.
some servers suddenly approach the table with some drinks, distracting everyone, so you take your chance to sit down at the only empty chair at the table. which just so happens to be across from jake.
you curse yourself for taking so long to pick an outfit out, you could’ve been here earlier and not forced to sit directly looking at your ex.
thankfully, sora is sitting beside you, she’s the sweetest girl you’ve ever met. you met her during your final years at college, though you wish you could’ve met her much sooner. she always knows how to cheer you up.
“hi, y/n! i love your dress.” sora greets you, her lovely smile already on her pretty face.
“thanks sora, i love your dress too, it’s super pretty!”
she thanks you before she takes a sip of her drink, “so you were friend’s with jake too, then?”
dammit sora.
your wide eyes meet jakes wide ones across the table. both of you look at each other and then at sora. since sora had joined your friend group later on, she never got to meet jake. maybe she’s heard some stories about him, but that’s all she would’ve known about your ex.
“uh yeah, we were.” jake speaks for you, keeping his voice so calm compared to how you were feeling inside.
from down the table you hear aeri scoff, “please sora, they weren’t just friends.” everyone turns to look at aeri, who bless her heart, is already wasted, “they dated!”
your stomach drops further at your best friend reminding everyone about your past relationship with jake. the table laughs as you see everyone remembering. you stare down at your lap, wishing you could disappear.
“yeah, sora,” you hear your friend heeseung speak from down the table, “jake and y/n use to be like attached at the hip.”
sunghoon, who’s sitting beside heeseung chimes in with a teasing smile, “jake and i use to live together in freshman year. it was like y/n was our third roommate. i remember us joking about her having to start paying rent she was there so often!”
the laughter around the table is lighthearted, with everyone remembering freshman year. but you leave your gaze fixated on your lap. you glance up at jake quickly, wanting to see if he’s just as awkward and embarrassed as you are, but of course he’s not.
jake is calm and seems completely nonchalant about the whole thing.
before you could spiral further, the servers return with plates of food for everyone. the conversation shifts as everyone starts to prepare to eat, mumbling about how hungry they are.
sora leans toward you, her expression apologetic as she whispers to you, “i’m so sorry about that y/n. i should’ve been quieter or something.”
you shake your head, giving her a small smile. “it’s no problem sora. it’s okay— you didn’t know.”
from down the table, aeri’s voice cuts through, “more shots!” she yells, raising her glass high. you realize she must be really going full out for her birthday this year.
suddenly, you feel something brush against your calf. the gentle but purposefully movement makes you jump slightly. your eyes dart across the table, meeting jake’s calm gaze. his leg is the one stretched out under the table with his foot gently rubbing yours. you can tell that the look in his eyes is asking if you’re okay. it makes your chest tighten.
you can’t hold his gaze for long.
you take the chance to excuse yourself. “i’m going to the bathroom,” you murmur quietly to sora, who nods in understanding. you can tell she still feels bad for triggering the jake conversation.
you leave the table quickly, making a beeline straight for the hallway that leads to the bathroom. when you reach the door though, it’s locked.
“great,” you sigh to yourself and spin to lean against the wall, it’s cold against your warm skin.
you close your eyes, trying to calm yourself down. everytime you think you’ll never see jake sim again, you’re always proven wrong. and now, he’s back with your friend group, so you’ll have to see him even more often. you don’t know if you can do it. you think about going home early. aeri is too drunk to notice if you disappear before her fourth round of shots.
another person walks in the tight, dark hallway to the bathrooms which makes you glance up and realize it’s jake.
he stops in front of you, “are you okay?”
“yeah, just someones in there,” you nod towards the closed bathroom door, “so i’m waiting.”
jake nods as his mouth forms an “O” in understanding. he leans back against the opposite wall of you, so you’re both facing each other.
now, in the dark, you recognize how much his facial features have matured since you last saw him. he’s not boyish and silly like he used to be when you dated. jake looks more serious and stoic and you wonder if you would even know parts of him anymore.
“why are you acting like nothing happened between us?” jake suddenly asks you.
it takes you by surprise, how blunt his question is. you try to remember if jake was this blunt when you dated.
“what do you mean?”
jake pushes off the wall behind him and he steps towards you, closing the distance in the small hallway. his movements have your pulse racing. his frame is enclosing you against the wall, he leans one of his hands against the wall beside your head.
“you know what i mean, y/n.” jake’s voice is low as he speaks. he looks down at you, right into your eyes. you feel your knees buckle. “you’re sitting there, acting like we’re strangers or something. like none of it mattered. like i didn’t matter to you.”
your whole body feels like its on fire. your fingers grip the hem of your dress, trying to keep you present and upright against the wall behind you.
“jake,” you whisper, trying to tell him anything. but the intensity in his eyes and how close his body is to yours make it hard to think straight.
“just tell me, y/n,” jake says slowly, his free hand brushing a loose strand of hair away from your face, making your breath hitch at his touch that you haven’t felt in years, “is this really how you want it to be between us?”
his words hang in the air. the tension between you is so thick in this small hallway that it feels almost suffocating. his hand lingers on your cheek. the touch of his fingers makes your brain fuzzy. you want to respond to him, saying something or anything to him, but you can’t focus on anything but how close he is to you. how familiar his touch is.
“tell me you don’t feel it anymore.” jake tells you, his breath warm against your skin. his fingers fall to your jaw, titling your face up so you’re forced to look directly at him. you feel hyper-aware of the fact that his lips are just a mere inch away from yours.
“f-feel what?”
the bathroom door opens right beside your head, the light from inside brightens the hallway. you both freeze as you look at a girl you don’t recognize step out of the bathroom. her eyes widen slightly as the light behind her exposes both of you pressed up against the wall. her face is contorted as he awkwardly walks around you and back to the bar.
before you can say anything, jake is pushing you into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it with both of you inside.
jake doesn’t give you a second to breathe, he’s pushing you up against the sink’s counter, your hips pushed against the ledge.
“the neediness y/n,” jake answers your question from the hall, “you used to be so needy for me. you used to make me make you cum at least twice before we could even leave the house. do you remember that, y/n?”
his words make you gasp, the memories of all the times jake has made you orgasm come flooding into your mind. no one’s ever known your body as well as jake has. no one’s ever been attentive as him. with all the boring dates you’ve been on through the years, the sex was just as boring.
“do you want me to remind you why you were so needy for me, baby?”
“please,” you whine out, suddenly caving into your desires, to your neediness.
within seconds jake is lifting you up onto the bathroom counter behind you, your back pressed up against the cool mirror. his hands don’t hesitate to roam your body, feeling your body again, like he once did all the those years ago. you bite your lip to suppress a moan. you’re quickly remembering how easily his touch affects you.
“did you miss my touch, baby?” jake whispers, his hot breath fanning your neck. it sends goosebumps across your skin. his lips start to trail down your neck, kissing the skin there so softly, teasing. his hands are the complete contrast to his lips, they’re rough like they own you.
even after all these years, it still seems like jake knows exactly how to tease you and touch you. it feels as if there was no time gap between then and now.
jake’s fingers start trailing up your bare thighs, so gently and warm, “you missed the way i make you feel? the way i make you cum?” his words further light the fire within you. you nod against the mirror behind you, watching as he stands between your legs, his fingers finding the already damp fabric of your panties.
jake hooks his fingers under the elastic and pulls them down, leaving your bottom half completely exposed to his eyes. the sudden rush of cool air on your core makes you gasp. but jake wastes no time and slides two fingers inside your wet folds, eliciting a soft cry from your lips at the feeling of being stuffed.
“you’re so fucking wet baby,” he growls, his fingers starting to push in and out of your hole. he curls them in just the right way that has you moaning already. he knows your body already, he doesn’t need to probe around to find that one spot that has you writhing in pleasure. he knows what makes you weak. “do you want me to fuck you right here? in this bathroom with all of our friends outside waiting for us?”
you can only nod, your breath coming in shallow gasps as his fingers still fuck into you. he leans directly over over pussy, allowing a string of spit to fall from lips and right onto your core, mixing with your juices all over his fingers. the sounds emanating from your pussy fill the bathroom. the slick noise jake’s fingers slicking against your juices mingle with your moans.
jake adds a third finger, stretching you, filling you. its the most full you’ve been in years. the sensation is addicting.
“tell me you missed me, baby.” jake demands, his fingers twisting and thrusting inside of you. “tell me you’ve been thinking about my touch— my cock pounding into you.” his words are even more addicting as you’re forced to listen to him in your ear. you whimper out in response, trying to keep your eyes open to watch him, to watch his fingers sink into your wet core over and over again.
“say it,” he insists, his fingers slowing their pace, teasing you. “say you need my cock, that you want me to remind you why you loved my cock so much.” his free hand reaches up, gripping your throat, applying just the right amount of pressure to make your thoughts swirl. the choke sends a rush of adrenaline through your body, heightening your senses. you feel so submissive to him that it only fuels your desire for him.
“i, i need it!” you manage to croak out, your voice so hoarse. “please fuck me, jake, please.”
your words make him release your neck, and instead he grabs your hair. the pain feels good as it mixes with the pleasure his fingers are giving you.
with both of his hands busy and your hips bucking off the counter and legs squeezing around jake’s wrist, jake’s access to your sweet spot inside of your pussy was disrupted.
“hold your legs open for me,” jake tells you. your hands reach around to hook underneath your knees to spread yourself bare for him. “good girl.”
you whimper at the name. jake keeps your head pinned back against the mirror and keeps his other hand delved deep inside your pussy as he curls and swirls his fingers around your g spot, stretching you.
you felt so dirty— fucking your ex in a bathroom with your friends all outside waiting for you. you’re bare on the sink counter and holding your own legs open, spreading yourself for your ex.
“f-fuck!” you cry out, eyes squeezing shut as he finger fucks you. everytime his fingers enter you you feel closer and closer to the edge— you can practically taste your orgasm. “i want your cock so bad! i need it, please!”
jake groans, he swears he feels his cock twitch in his pants at how needy your voice sounded, “fuck, you know how much i love hearing you beg. i can’t say no to it,” jake then takes his fingers out of you, chuckling at your whine and the way your pussy tries to clamp around them, wanting them to stay inside.
he leaves you panting and writhing on the counter as he starts to unbuckle his pants and pull his hard cock out. the sight of you with your hair messy from his hand pulling it and your pupils blown out makes his cock drip more with precum.
you spread your legs again for him to stand in between them. his large, hard cock only inches away from sliding into your pussy. he leans between your bodies again, letting spit drip from his mouth and land right on his cock. you forgot how much jake loves to make it as messy as possible.
jake presses his cock against your throbbing clit. it makes your squirm as it rubs up and down your wet folds, collecting more of your juices and his spit. you whine out into the bar’s bathroom as he teases you. your hips try to grind against his cock that is vertical with your slit as he rubs it up and down. you really are so desparate and so needy, especially for jake’s cock.
you’re getting tired of his teasing and smirking as he watches you try to grind yourself onto his cock. “jake, please fuck me already!” you urge him to take you then and there.
“someone’s impatient,” jake continues smirking. before you could complain further, jake thrusts forward, filling your wet pussy in one swift motion. you instantly cry out, throwing your head back against the mirror behind you.
the feeling of finally being stuffed full satisfies and overwhelms you at once. but, jake holds himself still for a moment, with his cock fully lodged inside of you, letting you adjust. he doesn’t pull out until you nod at him that it was okay to start.
his first thrust back in is rough and hard. the force of his hips meeting yours makes your entire body jerk against the bathroom counter. the mirror behind you holds you in place for his harsh thrusting. jake’s hands are holding your legs tight as he begins to fuck in and out of you.
the sound of the wetness from your juices and his saliva fill the room along with the sound of skin slapping against skin. jake’s grunts are low and his face is already contorted into pleasure as he focuses on fucking his cock deep inside of you.
“fuck you’re such a good girl, taking all of my cock like this,” jake groans out, his pace becoming relentless and wild as he fucks you on the counter. “you’re gonna cum all over my cock right? show me how needy you are— how much you need to cum on my cock?”
“oh fuck yes!” you cry out, your legs wrapping around his waist tighter, latching onto him, “please fuck don’t stop!”
yor nails dig into his shoulders through his black shirt. jake reaches between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and starts to circle it the way he knows you like it.
jake seemingly knows everything about your body, even more than you do. you swear he makes you cum than you can make yourself cum. nothing feels as good as jake— that’s all you can think about as he is pounding into you.
suddenly, jake pulls out of you completely and steps away, making your legs drop from around his waist.
“jake,” you whine out, “what the fuck? i was so close!”
he only chuckles in response, “turn around, let me see your ass.”
you shut up and get off the counter, turning around like he told you to. jake’s hand is on your back, pushing you down so your ass it up and your chest is pressed flush against the cool bathroom counter.
jake’s other hand harshly slaps your bare skin on your ass, “spread your legs.” you do as he says again, whining at the pain and pleasure you’re feeling all at once.
you feel jake’s hands wrap around your waist before he slides his cock back into you, both of you groaning at the feeling of the different angle. jake’s grip on your waist tightens as he starts to fuck into you from the back now. your ass moving every time he slams his cock back into you all the way.
without jake holding you in place, you’re sure your hips would be bruised from the bathroom counter from how hard and fast he’s pounding into you. you keep your hands on the edges of the bathroom counter, letting jake fuck you at whatever pace he wants. your moans are getting louder and louder as both of you start to fill the bathroom up with the smell of sex and sweat.
“fuck, this pussy is just as good as i remembered it,” jake grunts out behind you. his once neat, pushed back hair is now messy along his forehead from his harsh movements and sweat. his bottom lip is swollen from biting down on it as he fucks you.
“mhm,” you nod against the counter, “y-you’re cock is still so good, fuck.”
jake’s hand lands harshly on your ass again, your hand quickly covers your mouth to prevent you from screaming. you feel your eyes roll to the back of your head as jake fucks you, his cock stretching you so fucking good.
jake suddenly pulls your hair backwards, “stand up.” you do as he says yet again, but you need to grip the counter in front of you and lean on his body behind you to stand up. “look,” his nods beside your face from behind you, now that your back is pressed against his chest, his cock still lodged deep inside of you.
you look ahead of you into the mirror and see what you and jake look like pressed up against each other. jake’s one hand is still in your hair, pulling it back so you’re forced to look at yourself in the mirror. both of your hair is a mess either way, and your black dress is pulled up way past your waist, it’s almost like a crop top now.
yours and jakes eyes both look blown out, high on sex, pleasure and adrenaline. even though you’re both sweaty, you can’t help but think how good jake looks with a few sweat droplets gathering around his hairline.
“don’t you look so sexy, baby?” jake whispers into your ear, he starts to thrust upwards into your pussy again, it makes your knees buckle underneath yourself. you whimper in response, not being able to take your eyes off of yourselves in the mirror.
“y-you look so hot,” your voice is hoarse as you tell him. in the mirror you see him smirk at you, before he leans over and starts sucking on your neck, biting and nipping at all the spots that he knows drives you crazy.
jake doesn’t stop thrusting his cock up inside of you as he lets go of your hair with his hand. he then trails his hand down the front side of you and circling your clit again with two fingers. you throw your head back onto his shoulder, but still keep your eyes on the mirror in front of you. it was like watching your own personal porn, the way both of you were groaning and grabbing each other. the way your entire body would jerk everytime jake thrusted inside of you.
“that’s it, keep watching us, baby,” jake groans into your ear, your eyes meet his through the reflection of the mirror, “don’t we look so good together?”
“y-yes,” you whimper out, the pressure on your clit making you lose yourself within the pleasure.
“did you miss my cock, y/n? did you miss me?”
“mhm, yes, fuck, missed you so much.”
jake smirks against your cheek at your response, his thrusting getting more erratic, wanting to make you cum all over his cock just like you had done before, years ago.
“then cum all over my cock baby, show me how much you missed this.”
his words push you to the edge, your orgasm finally done building as it courses through your body almost suddenly. “fuck!” you cry out, your nails digging into the bathroom counter in front of you. without jake holding you you would’ve fallen right down from how the pleasure completely takes over your body. his two fingers don’t stop circling your clit all the way through your orgasm, making you cry out his name, your pussy clamping around his cock.
jake continues to thrust through your orgasm, his own release building. He grips your hips tightly, his breath coming in harsh gasps as he empties himself deep inside you. "That's it, baby, milk my cock," he growls, his voice hoarse with pleasure.
As your bodies slowly calm, Jake leans forward, his lips finding yours in a hungry kiss. The taste of him, the feel of his body against yours, reminds you why you had always found it so hard to forget him.
“I missed this, missed you," he breathes against your lips, his fingers gently caressing your cheek.
with his words and now that he wasn’t inside of you or making your mind all fuzzy, his words only brought you back to reality.
the reality that you just had sex with your ex in a bathroom of a bar at your best friends birthday party.
jake can physically see you tense in front of him, he lets you step away from him, turning away from him to pick up your panties from the floor and quickly slip them back on.
“y/n?” he questions you, “are you okay?”
“mhm,” you tell him, it’s all you can manage, your mind too confused with anything else.
the air in the bathroom suddenly feels suffocating. your lips and body are still tingling from his touch.
it feels like just a second ago, jake was just a memory from your college days, someone that you thought you'd’ never see again, and now, you’ve just been pressed against the bathroom counter with his hands all over your skin and his lips claiming yours. you feel like nothing makes sense right now.
you take a step back, putting distance between you and jake, your heart pounding erratically. “i can’t do this,” you whisper, avoiding his gaze as you reach for the door handle.
“y/n, wait.” jake’s voice is soft but urgent, and his hand wraps around your wrist gently, trying to stop you. “can we just talk?”
but you shake your head, pulling free from his grasp. “i can’t,” you repeat, your voice cracking slightly. without another word, you slip out of the bathroom and into the bar and then out the front door.
the cool night air hits your face as you push open the door and step outside, trying to steady your breathing. it’s a relief compared to the heat inside that bathroom. you wrap your arms around yourself, trying to think about everything that just happened and how you’re going to get home right now.
“y/n!” his voice pulls you from your thoughts, and you turn to see him jogging toward you. before you can react, his hand catches your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. his grip is firm but not forceful, his eyes searching yours desperately. “please, talk to me.”
you pull your wrist from his grasp, a lot harder than you had meant to, but you were angry and confused. “you don’t get to just walk back into my life like nothing happened, jake! you don’t get to just show up, fuck me, and act like—like you didn’t just leave me!”
ake flinches, his expression twisting with guilt. he runs a hand through his hair, looking down for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “i know,” he says softly. “i know i don’t deserve to just… come back like this. but y/n, i couldn’t stay away.”
“then why did you leave?” you demand, your voice cracking as you step back from him. “why did you disappear? you weren’t even home half the time anymore.”
“because i was scared,” he’s blunt again, something you don’t recognize in the man you thought you knew, but you prefer it like this than him bottling it up and leaving. scared of how much i loved you. it was overwhelming, y/n. you were my whole world, and it terrified me. i mean, we were so young and, i didn’t know how to handle it, so i ran.”
your breath catches, tears stinging your eyes as his words sink in. “you hurt me, jake,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “you broke me.”
“i know,” he says, stepping closer, his expression full of regret. “and i’ve thought about you every day since i left. i just didn’t know how to fix it.”
his voice softens as he reaches for your hand, but he stops short, giving you the choice to take it. “but i’m here now, y/n and i’m not scared anymore. i love you.”
you stare at him, his words hanging heavily in the space between you. part of you wants to push him away again, to protect yourself from the pain he’s already caused. but another part—the part that still remembers how he made you feel, how he made you laugh, how we always seemed to know you better than you knew yourself.
“jake,” your voice weak, “you can’t just say you love me and expect it to fix everything. i mean, we dated years ago.”
“i don’t,” jake jumps to say, “i know its not that simple, but i mean it y/n. and i had to tell you what i’ve been feeling for years, even if you don’t love me anymore.”
you sigh, trying to sort all of your thoughts out. the person standing before you is no longer the boy you fell in love with all those years ago, even the simple interactions you’ve had with him so far you can tell he’s different.
“it’s going to take time,” you start to say, finally, “but i can forgive you.”
you see jake’s eyes light up in the dark night, he steps closer to you, his body heat warming yours. he takes your hands into yours, wanting you to focus only on him. “i’ll wait as long as it takes y/n. just tell me there’s a chance.” jake’s lip purse into a pout, wanting you to say yes to him.
his round eyes looking up at yours makes you scoff, “yes jake, there’s a chance.”
jake pulls your hands closer to him, making your body rush into his, making your faces only inches apart, “i won’t mess this up, y/n.”
“i believe you.”
“so… take two?”
“take two— and it’ll be the only other take, jake!”
“okay, okay, i believe you.”
@ taeghi, 2024. do not repost or reuse in anyway.
PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY, AS LIKES MAKE IT HARD FOR WORK TO BE SPREAD AND ENJOYED BY OTHERS :)
stay safe everyone :)
taglist : @021894s @hvseung @caratstick @hollyoongs @hees-love @jaehoonii @awqken @simpjaes
@shiningnono @heechwe @lacedicedtea @heesjake
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#jake smut#enhypen smut#enhypen#jake x reader#jake x reader smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen x reader smut#jake enhypen smut#jake enhypen#enhypen fanfic#enha#enha hard hours#hard hours#jake fanfic#kpop#smut#jake enhypen x reader#jake enhypen x reader smut
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Do you know how long it takes to meal prep?? Even if you don’t have energy or other issues, chopping up all of the ingredients can take a LONG time. Especially if you are slow or like to take your time. If you work a normal shift, with a commute you could be gone 9-10 hours of the day. Cooking could take 1-2 hours, depending on what you are making. And that’s if you already have the ingredients at home. And then you have cleaning and putting things away on top of that. If you are gone for 10 hours, sleep for 8, and cook for 2. You have 4 hours left to do whatever else you need to do. Which includes whatever maintenance you need to do (cleaning, laundry, exercise, etc) and whatever relaxation activity you have. And if you have children, you have even less time. Buying pre-chopped ingredients is a godsend for someone’s sanity. I should do it more, but I mainly only buy pre-chopped meat. Which I do because I feel like that takes the longest and is my least favorite thing. Also. I buy ginger and garlic paste because I would die if I had to prep garlic and ginger every time I cooked. Btw. This is with me cooking one or two nights a week and purposefully making giant meals so I have leftovers for lunch or dinner for the rest of the week. I am always on the lookout for more simple and quick meals that I like.
Pre-chopped fruits and veggies make it possible for so many people with various disabilities to prepare healthy meals and maintain their energy.
#and if I cook on a day off I could lose an entire day to cooking and cleaning#especially because I keep doing more complicated stuff
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More of you to worship | Spencer Reid
Pairing: Spencer Reid x gn!reader
Category: fluff, mild angst
Summary: Spencer Reid has insecurities about his changing body, and you assure him you love him regardless.
Content: body insecurity, established relationship, one mention of New Year
Word count: 1.5k
A/N: Quick little oneshot to end the year! You can thank @reidgif for this one because this gif rekindled my hyperfixation on his tummy. And then I saw a clip of Aisha (Tara’s actress) saying MGG weighs 11 pounds and has the metabolism of a rabbit on speed (lmfao) anyway, I took that and ran with it and now here we are. As someone who struggles with dysmorphia, I did my very best to be as sensitive with this as possible. Last fix of the year, I hope you enjoy it!
Spencer had begun to notice it a few weeks ago. At first, he had foolishly thought that there was simply something wrong with the shirt he had worn. Tactile sensitivity had always been something he dealt with, and this was no different. There had been a certain peculiarity in the fit of his shirt that he couldn’t quite pinpoint. Days continued, and it became a persistent bother, impeding his movement when he aimed, and inhibiting his general comfort.
It wasn’t until today, sitting in the bed—one he shared with you—that he finally had the time to inspect what was going on. The two of you had just gotten home from Rossi, who had graciously hosted a New Year’s dinner at his mansion. Spencer had admittedly eaten more than his fill, and that’s when he realized—it showed.
At once, the problem appeared. He was gaining weight. His shirts were bothering him because they were growing too tight, digging into places where they had previously been loose. The realization made him pause, as he stared down at himself.
Sitting on the bed, his stomach had gathered into a bulge, straining against the cloth. It was a new sight, not necessarily unwelcomed, but it seemed to send his mind reeling (to be fair, a lot sent his mind reeling nowadays, he was running on fumes, his only reprieve being you.)
He had never been muscular, had never found the need to be muscular. The team was nearly faultless because everyone filled a role, and they executed that well. He was, has always been, the genius, the expert on everything, as Hotch had called him once. Being the genius of the BAU meant that he had value. Relevance. It brought him great deal of pride, being able to contribute and pick up on patterns and little details that the majority of the team might miss.
It made him feel like he mattered. Needed.
So what if he couldn’t tackle a man down? They used to have Derek and Hotch for that, and now that role was being fulfilled by Luke and Matt, both of whom were utter specimens of the male physique.
But his time in prison had proven to him that he couldn’t rely on just his brains. Not when he had three burly inmates looking for trouble, looking for someone easy. It pained him that someone easy meant someone that looked like him. Tall, gangly, defenseless.
He took another breath and frowned as the fabric around his stomach grew tighter, taut at having to contain this belly that had formed over the course of the evening. A food baby, you liked to call it, because your own tummy was bonded to several factors as well—hormones, food, water intake—that made it fluctuate frequently, normally.
Normal. He tried to remind himself that this was normal, gaining weight was normal, but then again, how could someone tell what was normal when their—his—whole life, he had little experience with the word? Growing up a genius and taking care of an ailing mother skewed whatever sense of normalcy he could have developed.
Besides, his normal meant lanky, thin. His body, the way it was framed and built, had always been long and erring on the side of delicate. It wasn’t that he hadn’t tried to bulk up, it was that his muscles were lean; that was simply how his anatomy worked. It would take a lot more effort to gain more muscle, effort that he, admittedly, didn’t want to exert. It wasn’t his role.
And now, he looked down at his stomach with a crease on his brow, mind whirring with explanations. Weight fluctuations are normal, and they were okay, and he was nearing forty, anyway, of course his metabolism was beginning to slow down, human adults’ bodily functions tend to do that, it was scientific and —
“Honey?”
He looked up, and there you were, your loveliness framed by the plain doorway. Somehow, you made it seem more magical, less boring, as though your very presence just made everything better. He smiled, holding out a hand for you, forcing the wave of insecurity down his throat, down his chest, trying to bury it deep in the recesses of his body.
You walked closer, and the thoughts punched through his attempts to silence them—you wouldn’t find him attractive anymore.
Something must have shifted on his face, a sliver of that anxiety creating fresh lines between his brows, because you paused. A hand ran across your cheek, and he felt the weight of your concern in the action.
“What’s wrong, Spence?”
He drew you closer, pulled you onto his lap. He couldn’t lie to you, not out of his lack of skill, but due to your incessant ability to somehow sniff out the truth from him, one way or another.
“I think I’m outgrowing my shirts.” he said, softening the words with a chuckle. He was ashamed to admit that it was affecting him more than he anticipated; maybe humor would lessen its significance.
“Aren’t you a little too old to be going through puberty?” you asked, matching the teasing tone of his voice. The difference was glaring though; his voice was awfully strained, and yours was lighter, more at ease.
Still, he laughed, buried his face at the nape of your neck. “They’re getting tight around my stomach.”
At that, you pulled back. He swallowed the whine that threatened to leave his lips; he was already being so pathetic over a little pudge, he was reaching max capacity. With bated breath, he watched as your gaze ran over him, eyes flickering with recognition when they landed on his torso.
“Oh they are,” You replied, hands going up to his shoulders, tugging at the fabric there, “Here too. Huh, I guess we’ll have to go shopping then.”
He looked, patiently waited for more.
“What?” you asked, eyes crinkling oh so prettily at the corners that he couldn’t help but press a kiss over them.
“That’s it?” he murmured, disbelief coloring his voice. He had anticipated more of a reaction, maybe a suggestion of ‘oh maybe you should go to the gym’. But you took it with such stride that he was a little confused.
“Yeah, that’s it.” you laughed, brought a palm down to his stomach, that one place that’s causing him to basically break down, “Should there be more?”
He shrugged.
Perched on his lap, you frowned as you watched emotions flicker through his eyes. “Spence,” You murmured, kissing his temple, “Talk to me.”
“I just don't want you to think I'm unattractive anymore.” The words felt bitter in his tongue; it was a relief to release them, get them out of his system. “I was never - you know - sexy before, and now I'm gaining weight.”
“Spence,” You interrupted him gently. It wasn't something you did often; his rambles were one of the things you loved about him after all, but it pained you to hear him get so insecure about something so insignificant as his weight, especially since his body wasn't even the thing that made him attractive to you in the first place, “Belly pudge or scrawny, I think you're hot.”
His eyes softened, looking so impossibly hopeful that you couldn't stop the urge to lean in and kiss him. “Seriously,” You murmured, “It doesn't matter to me. You're handsome, but you're also so intelligent and passionate and sensitive, and those are so much more important than how you look.”
He sagged with relief, arms tightening around you. “Yeah?” He asked as he buried his face in your hair.
“Yeah, honey. I'm not with you because of your looks,” You replied, then with a little laugh, you added, “Although, they certainly are an added bonus.”
His shoulders shook as he chuckled, and you can feel his lips giving you tiny kisses at the crown of your head.
“Besides,” You continued, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck, “The way I see it, there's physically more of you now - more of you to hug, and to love, more of you to worship.”
He was silent, but his grip on you never faltered, breath fanning gently over your hair. “More of me to love.” He whispered, “You're right, that's - that's one way to look at it.”
“Mhmm,” You nodded, “But you really do need to go shopping, can't have you ripping your shirts while you're out on a case. You wouldn't want your team to think you're doing an impromptu strip tease.”
He bursted out laughing, and exhilaration filled your chest. You always took pride in making him laugh, and this was no exception.
“God, I love you.” He said, pulling back and resting his forehead against yours.
“I love you too.” You smiled, then added, “Besides, I think the pudge is cute. You're on your way to a dad bod.”
He laughed again, and if you could hear that sound on loop forever, then you would be in heaven
#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#dr spencer reid#criminal minds fic#mgg#criminal minds fanfiction#dr spencer reid fan fiction#spencer reid fan fic#spencer reid fanfiction#doctor spencer reid#spencer reid fluff
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Things to expect when you've mastered shifting
This isn't the normal "oh you'll feel on top the world" kind of post which just hypes up everything and the sole purpose is to motivate. This is (???) the logistics, the indepth version of what you'll face psychologically.
I've shifted close to about a hundred times, whether it was from this reality, or shifting within a reality I shifted.
This is all from my personal experience, you might experience differently.
⋆ Disassociation: when you shift back to your original reality, you'll often times confuse both reality's memory, of course, we all know this, doesn't matter if you shifted or not. But what I've seen no one talk about is that sometimes events and certain objects from your DR will unintentionally manifest into your CR, just because of how deeply rooted they become in your subconscious. For example, I had maybe mentioned this somewhere else, but in my DR I had scripted expensive china cups, which broke on my second day being there. Well two weeks ago my family was gifted the same teacups (some details were off) and one of them managed to get a crack in them after we served the guests tea in it.
⋆ Weird Dreams: Not only is the concept of the dreams weird, but overall mechanics of it are unusual as well (I didn't shift unconsciously in my dreams, that's one boundary I've established)
For example, dreams with people claiming to know the future, telling me, and it coming true the next day, but it being minor details, people from my DRs channeling me, dreams which involves falling out of reality/finding the end of the multiverse.
Dreams which involves me floating, strong winds which blow away entirely of the void reality (CR), I had started getting this dream since I've wanted to permashift, the wind is so strong and I feel it, I'm usually at my college and or doing a mundane activity in my current reality, everything dissapears and I end up in the void state for the rest of the night.
Once my S/O visited me in my dream, he asked me to come back home, it was a lucid dream so I consciously agreed because I couldn't deny him; ended up in my home reality.
⋆ Feeling weirdly sad about your CR: this one might be personal to me. truth be told, I haven't studied a single day since I've successfully shifted. This year all of my classmates and age fellows are going to start looking at university applications, the ones they mention are usually universities I used to dream all day long about getting into, when I didn't know about shifting. It forms a pit in my heart, the passion I once used to have regarding hardwork by investing blood sweat tears into studying, pinterest board filled with quotes such as "some dreams are worth more than my sleep" not stirring anything within me. It's not that I think I can't get these things, i know i can just shift to a parallel reality and get it, but I just don't want to, I don't feel the same about this reality anymore, slowly letting it go, no matter how much I try to cling onto it, I know I was never meant to be here.
⋆ Personality changes: When you become an expert at shifting its no question that you'd shift very frequently. Those DR selfs would influence your personality, and people can think you're developing a split personality disorder.
Take me as an example, if you look at the posts on my blog, you'd notice a different tone in each one of them, some are in a more softer tone and the others feel clinical.
⋆ Putting your DR family first, even though they're not here: I don't know how to explain this one, so I'd just take an example out of my own experience again.
I was out shopping with my mother for sweaters, the ones we were coming across were really good quality, but I could only think of my S/O, she was pointing out the things she thought I'd like, but I kept looking at the men's sweater, subconsciously trying to pick one out for him, which weirded my mother out slightly.
...
Why am I crying.
Anyways I have planned to permashift out of this reality before new year, it was my childhood dream to blog, but I was too shy to do so and never had anything common with anyone. But I've finally completed the final thing on my list, alongside with meeting my cousin who I adored, I decided to add her to my DR.
That's it, I'll go on and answer the 50 asks in my inbox.
...
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting antis dni#shifting#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting motivation#shifters#shifting stories#desired reality
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i’m not sure if this makes sense but it was in my head earlier and i thought i’d try and put it into words
also can you tell i’m trying desperately to humanize this man
given the environment simon riley grew up in, he learned to pay close attention to what he had left, especially in bottles or containers where he couldn’t see how much was in there. for example, shampoo and body wash weren’t bought frequently out of pure negligence, and simon wasn’t about to risk anything by asking for a necessity (god forbid). so, he got super good at just knowing, by weight alone.
the sense never really left him as he grew up and went to the military. constantly packing things into travel size containers for weeks long trips kept his gift sharp. yet at his flat in the city, he didn’t have to keep buying shower necessities much thanks to being gone for weeks or months on end.
until he met you, that is.
what started as innocent flirting in a bar led to a 2 year long relationship, and the two of you agreed to move in together at your apartment. meaning, his months old bottles of shampoo and conditioner were moving with him.
a few months later, he returned from a two month long mission and came home wanting nothing more than to kiss you a bunch, and take a shower (in that order). you met him at the door as usual and after several long and quick kisses and “i miss you”s, he whined about needing a shower, so he excused himself.
after standing under the hot water for a few moments to unwind, he washed his hair like normal, rinsed it, then grabbed his body wash. he paused, holding the bottle.
weighing it.
looking puzzled.
after a hesitant wash, he finished up in the shower, dressed, and met you on the couch where you lay, draping your legs over his thighs.
“question for you,” he said, squinting.
“answer for you,” you replied, clicking your phone off and setting it on the carpet.
“have you been using my body wash?”
you blinked a few times. “yeah,” you said it like he had asked the most ridiculous question. “i ran out of my own. plus i missed you really bad and wanted the smell.” you paused. “…is it an issue?”
“no, love, not at all,” he answered quickly, pulling you further down the couch so he could lay beside you, spooning you, breathing you in with his nose under your jaw. “you need to get more, though. want your smell too.”
#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#cod mw2#simon riley x you#cod#cod headcanons#simon riley#simon riley headcanons#fluff
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drunk arguing w billie?
i went slightly overboard i am so sorry anon
୨ৎ i don't wanna talk right now. b.e
୨ৎ billie eilish x fem!reader
୨ৎ genre: angst
୨ৎ content: fighting (duh), billie's drunk, toxic relationship, emotional abuse (?), billie's a bitch, dont wanna spoil anything else js read it babe <3
୨ৎ taglist: @47lake @st0nerlesb0 @n0vabug @darkside-0f-the-sun @asterisk-eyes
୨ৎ note: sorry in advance <3
you were anxious, to say the least. you knew it had gotten bad again for billie, that much was obvious. but you’d expected her to maybe… talk to you about it. after a year and a half of dating, you felt like perhaps you could be someone she trusted enough to turn to. but you weren’t.
it was nothing personal, you supposed. she wasn’t talking to anyone about it—not finneas, not zoe, not even maggie. she had a tendency to close herself off, and you knew that was something she had to work through herself.
…but that didn’t stop the fact that you were up at eleven thirty at night, wondering when your girlfriend would come home. you felt sick with worry, your stomach turning in the most heart wrenching way. what if something was going really badly wrong? what if it was worse than you thought?
you couldn’t take your mind off it, no matter what you did. you’d even dragged yourself into the kitchen to bake some cookies, thinking that maybe having something else to focus on would ease your worries. but no, after every cup of flour and every pinch of salt, your mind drifted back to her. you almost burnt the cookies because of how heavy your heart was with worry.
recently, she’d been getting home later and later, and although you acted as if nothing had changed, you could remember vividly every hour where you wondered where she was, if she was okay. most nights, she would get home around ten pm, crawling into bed with you and wrapping her arms around you. the feeling of her head buried in the crook of your neck brought far more comfort than it should, considering the situation.
earlier in your relationship, she would get home at around six, maybe eight. either way, you’d have time to spend together. you ate dinner together like a normal couple, and sometimes you had movie nights. it didn’t matter what you did, because you were together.
but now, you weren’t sure if you’d eaten dinner together once in the past two weeks.
each time she got home late, you could smell the alcohol on her. it wasn’t that strong, but it was the pattern that worried you. all signs were pointing towards a downward spiral, and she wouldn’t even talk to you, her own girlfriend.
upon hearing the door open abruptly, you looked up from where you’d been staring blankly at the chocolate chip cookies as they cooled. you pursed your lips as you heard the door slam, and you suddenly didn’t want to see billie anymore. you’d been so anxious about where she was, so eager to finally see her again, but… you didn’t want to see her, not like this.
but it was her house too, so soon enough, stumbling footsteps could be heard through the hallway, and you heard her lazily kick her shoes off at the door. it didn’t take long for her to come into view as she walked into the living room that was connected to the kitchen you were in. she dumped her bag on the couch, shrugging her jacket off while she was at it.
she did a double take when she saw you, as if she’d expected you to just be fast asleep in bed. she froze for a second or two, before letting out a heavy sigh.
there was no other sign of acknowledgement, she walked to the sink and grabbed a glass of water, looking past you as if you didn’t exist. you could’ve sworn you felt your heart sink—this was worse than usual.
closing your eyes briefly, you inhaled deeply, you were well aware she hadn’t been talking to finneas or maggie about this—you’d just gotten off the phone with a very concerned maggie, and you felt so guilty for not being able to assure her that everything was fine, that her daughter was okay. because you truly didn’t know.
the silence that hung over the room was heavy and uncomfortable, making you feel strangely claustrophobic. you knew that the silence would have to be broken eventually, so you spoke. you skipped the usual ‘how was your day’ and simply got straight to the point. “...are you okay?”
her head snapped up as if she’d been snapped out of a daze, and she looked at you as if she were suddenly seeing you for the first time. you watched as she swallowed, and finally forced herself to speak in a whisper. “...i don’t know.” billie replied blankly, and you felt your heart ache at her tone. it was as if she had already accepted that fact, and wasn’t going to do anything to drag herself out of the pool of endless self destruction.
“is there anything i can do, my love?”
in the past, that sentence would have had her collapsing into your arms, letting you hold her until she felt even a little bit better. this time, however, just she looked at you for a moment. behind that cold facade, you could’ve sworn you saw something flash in her eyes–hope? love? you weren’t sure, because it disappeared as quickly as it’d flashed over her face.
her voice came out harsher than you’d expected when she spoke, “you could leave me alone.”
you simply blinked in surprise. you weren’t going to push her to talk to you about it, obviously, but it confused you that she was resorting to this…meanness. she didn’t just say it like she needed space—which, in reality, was something she had gotten a lot of lately—she said it like you were the issue. like you had caused everything wrong in her life at the moment. that stung more than you thought it would.
however, you didn’t want to be that pushy girlfriend who couldn’t let things go, so you just nodded slowly, trying to hide the concern still in your voice. “i mean, if that’s what you need…”
the two of you stood in the kitchen for what felt like hours—it was probably just five minutes, but the tense silence was suffocating. you wanted to say something, to help her, but what could you do that she wouldn’t just scoff at and ignore?
abruptly, interrupting the strangling silence, billie stood up. in her haste, she knocked over a glass on the table, and you flinched as you watched it fall to the floor and shatter. billie didn’t spare the broken glass a single glance as she snapped, “you know what?”
your eyes dart between billie and the glass before settling on your girlfriend, looking at the uncharacteristic anger in her expression. “what?”
“i hate that you do this! you never push me to talk! you never help me! you never…” she trailed off, running out of words to say but certainly not running out of anger.
“excuse me?” you raised an eyebrow, “haven’t you noticed the way i’ve been doing absolutely everything i can to help for months? everything. no matter what i do, you push me away. you push everyone away—i just got a call from maggie, who was crying because she’s so worried about you. i can’t do shit to help if you don’t want to be helped, billie. no one can.”
her mouth fell open, and she spent a minute just staring at you. you could see the debate she was having with herself in her mind, the way she was wondering whether to follow the rational or emotional part of her brain. you could tell that she knew you were right, but it looked like her frustration was too intense and her mind was too clouded by alcohol to actually think properly.
the anger won, as it had been a lot recently. you were right, of course. you always were when it came to her—you knew her better than you knew yourself.
“shut up! you’re not helpful, and you can’t fix me! you can’t fix anything!” her voice was only raising in volume, and she stepped closer to you, a finger jabbing the air between you to emphasise her words.
you subconsciously took an instinctive step backwards as she stepped towards you, your back hitting the countertop. “then tell me what i can do!”
billie scoffed, “you can leave! you can ignore it like you usually do!” she was yelling at this point, “you can be useless like you usually are!”
you visibly flinched at those last words. part of your brain reminded you that she’s drunk, she doesn’t mean it, but the other half was shouting at you about how drunk words are sober thoughts. your mind was racing at this point, was that really how little she thought of you? you swallowed heavily before speaking softly, “do you…do you really think i don’t care?”
momentarily, she seemed to recognise the hurt on your face, and something like guilt appeared in her eyes. said guilt didn’t last, and the anger was rushing back even more all-consuming than it had been before, “of course you don’t care!”
you stared at her in disbelief—did she genuinely believe you didn’t care? did she not see all the effort you put in for her? you opened your mouth to speak, but she bet you to it.
“you know what?” she didn’t give you time to speak, she just rushed into her point. “i wish you weren't even here. i’d be better off dealing with this alone. without your stupid, useless attempts to help.”
yet again, you stared at her in shock. you didn’t think you could be more hurt in one night even if you tried. she’s drunk, you kept telling yourself, but deep down you knew that wasn’t an excuse. if she loved you, she wouldn’t say these things. once again, she continued before you could get a word in. her anger was consuming her in her drunken state, there was no thought behind her words, just the first insults she could find.
“you’re a fucking burden, you know that? i don’t need you, i don’t want you, you’re just in the way. always in the fucking way!”
just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, she went there. you froze in place, taking a long moment to just stare at her in disbelieving silence. “...what did you just say?”
noticing that her words finally seemed to hit a nerve, she only pushed further, “you heard me. you always have been.”
that hit like a slap in the face, leaving you speechless. you truly didn’t know what to say, it didn’t feel like you were looking at the love of your life anymore. this was a stranger, someone you knew so well but at the same time knew absolutely nothing about. you weren’t sure when the first tear had fallen, but they were now streaming down your cheeks.
“you–” billie opened her mouth to continue, but you interrupted her.
“that’s enough.” your voice was shaky but surprisingly firm, and at your firm tone, billie pauses. her mouth was still open to continue, but then she looked at you. she really looked at you, and saw the tears on your cheeks and the look in your eyes.
it was as if she were seeing you for the first time in the whole night, and you watched as the angry mask crumbled right in front of your eyes. after watching her for a moment, your eyes trailed down to the floor as you took a deep breath, wanting to look anywhere except for her.
“fuck,” she murmured, her breathing shallow as she seemed to actually realise what she’d just said.
“i-i’m sorry–” billie whispered, her voice weak as she looked at you, reaching out for your arm and only causing you to shift away from her so she couldn’t touch you. you watched as her eyes widened in panic at your avoidance of her touch, as the weight of her words seemed to sink in. “i didn’t mean it–you know that–”
you give her a look, raising an eyebrow, “really? because you had a lot to say.”
“i love you. you know that.”
those three words didn’t feel like they held the same meaning as they used to, they weren’t giving you the butterflies you used to get. actions speak louder than words, and her actions were greatly lacking. “then start acting like it.”
“how?” her voice was a whisper, barely audible.
you swallowed, looking down at the floor and then back at her. it felt like her fist was in your chest, ripping your heart out. it physically hurt you to have this conversation.
“i can’t spell it out for you, billie. you used to show it, you’ll figure it out if you want to. if you really can’t, i think that says something for itself.”
in your mind, you silently wished for her to say something. to say she can try, she can fix this. but you weren’t sure how much was even left to fix, after all these months of cracks spreading through your relationship and pushing you further apart. but you remembered. you remembered when the two of you use to dance through the kitchen just because you felt like it. you remembered staying up all night cuddled up in bed having whispered conversations about absolutely nothing and everything at the same time. it hadn’t been like that in a long time, but you knew that both of you remembered it as if it were yesterday.
and despite it all, despite how much billie wanted to beg you to stay, to do everything she possibly could to cling to you until she somehow mended all the broken patches in your relationship, she knew you were right. she couldn’t let you tell her how to fix this, she’d have to figure it out by herself.
and she didn’t know how, so she let you stand up and walk out the door.
which, its own cruel way, was an answer in itself.
#୨ৎ lyd's inbox#୨ৎ lyd writes#୨ৎ lyd yaps#୨ৎ lyd's requests#billie eilish x reader#billie eilish#billie eilish x you#billie eilish angst#angst
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Royal Flush
Authors Note: This is a continuation of an ask I did last month where reader is at a ball and catches the eyes of the boys. I loved the idea and many of you wanted a part two of the Royal AU so I hope this doesn’t disappoint 💖
part 1 | part 2
Pairing: Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader WC: 3.1k
The morning’s soft light filtered through the curtains, casting soft patterns across the stone floor. It was the day after the grand ball, and the palace was quieter now. Most of the attendees had already returned to their estates within Griffyn’s capital, while foreign guests remained as the royal family’s honored visitors.
Your morning had started in an unfamiliar way. Molly, one of the palace maids, had woken you—a cheerful woman with bright ginger hair and a warm, motherly tone. She knocked once before entering, her smile as much of a greeting as her words.
“Good morning, my lady,” she said, glancing around the room before turning her attention to you. “Did you sleep well?”
She offered to assist with anything— breakfast, dressing, even drawing a bath. It felt strange, having someone so eager to help. Back home, you’d always managed on your own. Though your family held the title of Baroness, your estate wasn’t large enough to support a full staff, especially for travel.
You hesitated before asking Molly for breakfast, not wanting to seem ungrateful. She brightened at the request, practically skipping out of the room with a promise to return quickly.
As you waited, you couldn’t help but compare her energy to Mary’s. Mary, Lily’s other Lady’s Maid, was usually always composed and efficient, keeping everything about the crown princess’s day running smoothly. With Mary around, there was rarely anything left for you to handle.
_____
When Molly returned, balancing a tray of breakfast that smelled more enticing than anything you’d eaten in weeks, Mary arrived not long after. She was dressed in a light pink day gown trimmed with elegant cream lace, the kind of attire that reminded you how deeply ingrained courtly refinement was in her every movement.
“Lily is in one of the meeting rooms with foreign dignitaries,” Mary informed you with a soft smile. “She’s likely to be occupied for most of the day.”
You nodded, though a pang of sympathy flickered within you. Lily had never been one for the formalities of court, least of all the endless debates that often unfolded in such meetings.
“Well, I suppose that leaves us fairly free for today,” you said, more to yourself than to Mary.
Mary’s expression softened briefly, though she didn’t linger. “I’d better fetch Marlene some snacks before she causes a scene,” she said, her tone laced with amused exasperation.
As she left, you considered how to spend the day. The palace grounds were sprawling, with gardens, libraries, and countless other places to explore. A rare opportunity to simply wander presented itself— a stark contrast to the tightly scheduled days you were used to at home and here at court.
For now, though, you stayed by the window, looking out over the grounds. Somewhere, Lily was enduring another meeting, and you silently hoped the dignitaries of Griffyn were at least more pleasant than most.
_____
By the time the afternoon sun reached its peak, you could no longer bear the confines of your chambers. The room felt stifling, though you knew it was more a result of your restlessness than anything else. Normally, you’d be trailing after the princess, your day filled with purpose. Without that familiar routine, the stillness left you feeling oddly untethered.
Seeking relief, you asked Molly if it would be acceptable to go for a walk. She assured you it was not only fine but encouraged, her cheerful enthusiasm evident as she bustled about to help you prepare.
“Day dresses are far too light for strolling outdoors,” she explained, pulling out a pale green walking dress with practical yet elegant lines. The hem barely skimmed your low heels, and Molly wrapped a white shawl around your shoulders for good measure.
“This should keep the sun and breeze from bothering you too much,” she said with a pleased nod, tying the shawl neatly. “I wish we had more parasols, but our queen isn’t fond of them—not for herself or her servants.”
“It’s all right,” you replied with a soft smile. “I don’t plan to be out long, just enough to stretch my legs.”
Molly guided you through the winding halls and out toward the gardens. The walk was quiet, save for the occasional exchange of smiles and greetings with passing servants. Their cheerful responses lifted your mood, though the uneventfulness of the palace only highlighted the stark contrast to the bustling atmosphere of the night before.
As you stepped into the sunlight, a voice called out, startling you. It was low, familiar, and unmistakably directed at you.
“My lady?”
Turning, you saw him— the tall, scarred man who had stood at the prince’s side during the ball. His presence had been commanding even in the grandeur of the event, and now, in the simpler setting of the palace grounds, he seemed no less imposing.
“Sir Remus,” you greeted softly, adjusting your stance to face him fully.
He inclined his head slightly, his expression far more relaxed than it had been the night before. You couldn’t fault him for that; a grand ball would leave anyone with a touch of nerves, no matter how practiced they were.
“Remus is fine, my lady,” he said with a faint, almost self-deprecating smile. “I’ve no title to speak of, so the formalities aren’t necessary.”
You tilted your head slightly, taking in his appearance. He was tall, his frame sturdy but not imposing, his posture carrying a quiet confidence that spoke of gentle discipline rather than arrogance. Even the scars that marked his face and hands which caught the light as he shifted, did nothing to dull the warmth in his gaze.
“I see,” you said, a touch of curiosity slipping into your voice. “But standing at the prince’s side during a ball like that—surely that carries some weight, title or not.”
Remus chuckled softly, a sound that felt entirely at odds with the stoic impression you had formed of him the night before. “It’s not nearly as glamorous as it looks, I promise. Most of the time, I’m a glorified shadow, trying not to trip over my own feet.”
You couldn’t help but smile at his candor. There was something disarming about the way he spoke, as though he had no interest in the airs and graces so many at court clung to.
“Then you must have done an excellent job,” you replied lightly. “I didn’t see you trip once.”
A spark of amusement flickered in his eyes. “High praise, my lady. Perhaps I’ll add it to my list of achievements.”
You both fell into an easy silence, the kind that felt less like an awkward pause and more like a shared moment of understanding. The gentle breeze carried the scent of flowers, and the distant sound of a fountain added a soothing rhythm to the scene.
“I imagine you’re more accustomed to this place than I am,” you said eventually, glancing around at the sprawling gardens. “Molly suggested this garden, but I’ve no idea where to start.”
Remus nodded, following your gaze. “The gardens are beautiful, but they can be overwhelming for someone unfamiliar. If you’d like, I can show you a quieter corner— somewhere to gather your thoughts without interruption.”
You hesitated, caught between the politeness expected of you and a genuine curiosity about what he might show you. “If it’s no trouble, I’d appreciate that,” you said at last.
“It’s no trouble at all,” he assured you, gesturing toward a nearby path lined with blooming hedges. “This way.”
As you walked together, the conversation turned to lighter topics—the unseasonably chilly weather, the finer details of the ball, and a few amusing anecdotes from Remus’s time in the palace. He spoke with an ease that belied the seriousness of his appearance, his dry wit catching you off guard more than once.
The path opened into a small clearing, where a stone bench sat beneath the shade of a grand tree. The air here felt cooler, the sunlight softened by the canopy above. At the center of the space, a fountain bubbled gently, its water catching the light in a way that seemed almost magical.
“This was always my favorite spot,” Remus said, his voice quieter now as though the space demanded a certain reverence. “Few people come here. It’s peaceful.”
“It’s beautiful,” you said, taking a seat on the bench. For a moment, you simply let the stillness wash over you, the weight of the day slipping away.
Remus remained standing, his hands clasped loosely behind his back as he gazed at the fountain. There was something contemplative about his expression, as though he were lost in a memory.
“Do you come here often?” you asked, your voice soft enough not to break the calm.
“Whenever I can,” he admitted. “Though that’s not as often as I’d like.”
You studied him for a moment, noting the way his shoulders seemed less tense here, his guard lowered in a way that felt rare. “Thank you for showing me this,” you said sincerely.
He turned to you, his smile faint but genuine. “It’s my pleasure, my lady. Everyone deserves a place like this.”
For a while, neither of you spoke, the silence comfortable and unforced. It was a rare moment of tranquility, and you couldn’t help but feel grateful for it— and for the unlikely company that had led you here.
_____
The calm was shattered when a rustle of leaves preceded the sudden, chaotic entrance of a disheveled Prince and his knight, Sirius. They stumbled into the clearing, unmistakably attached at the lips. The sight was so unexpected that a startled squeak escaped you as you whipped around, your hands flying up to cover your eyes and the warmth now flooding your cheeks.
Behind you, Remus let out a long groan. “You two— what did I say about being careful?” he muttered, already moving to untangle the pair.
With an exaggerated huff, Remus grabbed Sirius by the collar and pulled him away from the prince, leaving James standing awkwardly in place. Sirius, his dark hair even messier than usual, blinked at Remus before his expression morphed into something between mischief and mortification.
“It’s just us,” Sirius started before catching sight of you. His voice pitched up a notch. “Oh. OH.”
You kept your hands firmly over your eyes, facing resolutely away. “I didn’t see anything!” you insisted, your voice high with embarrassment.
James, ever the composed royal, immediately tried to salvage the situation. Straightening his disheveled attire, he cleared his throat. “My lady, I assure you— this is not what it seems.”
“It’s exactly what it seems,” Sirius interjected with a half hearted grin, earning a sharp look from both James and Remus.
“Not helping,” Remus hissed under his breath, shoving Sirius lightly in the shoulder.
You cautiously lowered one hand, keeping your gaze averted as you lifted the other in a placating gesture. “Your Highness, please. There’s no need to explain. It’s�� not my place to comment on such matters.”
The words tumbled out in a rush, and you hoped they conveyed your sincerity. As a mere lady’s maid, it felt absurd that the crown prince was scrambling to justify himself to you.
James stepped forward, his expression softening, though his cheeks still bore a faint flush. “I appreciate your discretion, my lady. Truly. But I must insist, you didn’t walk into anything inappropriate. Sirius and I—”
“Are in love,” Sirius finished bluntly, crossing his arms over his chest. His tone was unapologetic, and though you couldn’t see it, you were certain he wore a challenging expression.
The tension in the air thickened, but you found yourself smiling faintly at Sirius’s bluntness. Slowly, you turned back toward them, keeping your gaze carefully trained on a neutral patch of garden behind James. “If I may speak freely, Your Highness?”
James gave a hesitant nod. “Of course.”
“I’m glad,” you said, your voice soft but earnest. “You deserve to be happy, both of you. And I promise— this stays between us.”
For a moment, there was only silence. Then Sirius broke it with a low whistle. “Well, aren’t you full of surprises, my lady.”
Remus sighed heavily, though there was a hint of amusement in his expression. “Could you at least try to take this seriously, Sirius?”
“What? She’s clearly not scandalized,” Sirius replied with a shrug gesturing to your calm figure.
James ran a hand through his already-mussed hair, looking more relieved than anything else. “Thank you,” he said simply, meeting your eyes briefly before glancing away. “That means more than you know.”
You inclined your head, still feeling the weight of the moment despite your efforts to ease it. “It’s no trouble, Your Highness. If anything, I feel bad for stumbling into your… private moment.”
“Maybe next time, you two could avoid ‘private moments’ in public gardens,” Remus interjected dryly, giving Sirius another shove for good measure.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Sirius quipped, earning a groan from both Remus and James.
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, the tension easing into something a bit more comfortable. Yet it drew their attention back to you, a subtle reminder that you were an outsider in this exchange.
_____
With the weight of their attention settling heavily on your shoulders, you cleared your throat and rose from the stone bench. Your fingers instinctively adjusted the shawl around your shoulders as if the gesture might somehow steady you. “I should excuse myself,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve already intruded far more than I intended.”
Before you could retreat further, James moved toward you, his amber eyes wide and earnest. “There’s no need to leave so hastily,” he said, his voice gentle but insistent. “If you’d allow it, I’d be honored to escort you back.”
The offer took you by surprise, and for a fleeting moment, you faltered. He was the prince, after all, and you, a simple lady’s maid. Yet his tone carried no weight of obligation— only a quiet sincerity that made it impossible to refuse.
“If it’s no trouble, Your Highness,” you replied, your fingers nervously tracing the edge of your shawl.
“It’s no trouble at all,” he assured, his voice warm as he extended his arm toward you.
With a glance at Sirius and Remus— both of whom seemed far too amused by the situation— you gingerly accepted James’s arm. You began walking beside him, though it quickly became clear that the prince had no intention of taking the most direct route back to the palace.
But you said nothing. The moment was too peaceful, too quiet to break.
As you walked through the winding garden paths, the vibrant flowers that lined the stone walkways caught your eye. James, his tone light yet tinged with reverence, gestured to them. “Most of these flowers were planted by my mother,” he said, a softness to his voice.
“Really?” you asked, your curiosity piqued as you followed his gaze to the vibrant blooms.
He nodded, a small smile pulling at his lips. “She always said the gardens were the heart of the palace. Even now, when she has the time, she tends to them herself. These lavender bushes here,”—he gestured to a cluster of pale purple flowers—“were the first ones she planted.”
You paused to take in the sight and fragrance of the flowers, your steps slowing as their sweet scent filled the air. James, noticing your pause, stopped as well. “She planted them with her own hands, when she was still just a princess.”
You nodded, the sight of the delicate flowers filling you with a quiet appreciation. “They’re beautiful. She must be proud of how they’ve flourished.”
“She is,” James replied, his smile deepening. “Though I think she’s most proud of her roses in her private garden. Those are her true pride.” His voice held a lightness, a warmth that seemed to stem from genuine affection.
There was something disarming about his words— something that softened the weight of his title, making him seem less a prince and more a proud son.
In the soft glow of the garden, with the scent of flowers thick in the air, James felt more human than royal. It was a side of him that you hadn’t expected, but it made him all the more endearing.
As you continued to walk, he turned to you with a thoughtful expression. “You’re from the neighboring kingdom, aren’t you?”
You nodded, a bit startled at the shift in conversation. “Yes, Your Highness. I’m from Eylillium. I serve Princess Lily as a lady’s maid.”
James smiled, his gaze steady and kind. “I do hope you’re enjoying your time here. It’s been a pleasure getting to speak with you these past two days.”
His words, though spoken casually, stirred something in your chest. The prince, in all his sincerity, had a way of making even simple conversation feel profound. Your heart quickened, and for a moment, you found yourself at a loss for words. You glanced away, unsure how to respond.
Before you could collect your thoughts, James slowed, stopping before one of the covered hallways that led back into the heart of the palace. Off to the side, Molly stood with a soft smile, offering a respectful bow to the prince.
“Thank you for letting me escort you back,” James said, his voice carrying a quiet sincerity as he turned to face you fully. You let your hand fall gently from his arm, the distance between you suddenly feeling more pronounced.
“Thank you for showing me the way,” you replied, your tone light, though tinged with the truth. “I likely would’ve gotten lost otherwise.” A quiet chuckle escaped you, recalling how disoriented you'd been when Remus first guided you through the sprawling garden. Its winding paths were a labyrinth to anyone unfamiliar.
“It’s my pleasure, truly,” James reassured, his grin wide and effortless, leaving little room for protest.
You sighed softly, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite the odd flutter in your chest. You nodded politely, dipping your head slightly in a gesture of respect. “I hope you have a pleasant afternoon, Your Highness.”
James’ chuckle was warm, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer before he leaned slightly closer, his voice dropping to a near-whisper. “I hope to talk to you again soon, my lady.”
James bowed slightly before turning, making his way back toward the gardens with his usual confident stride. His presence lingered in the air, and for a moment, you found yourself watching him leave, an odd mix of thoughts and emotions swirling within you.
As he disappeared from view, you blinked, shaking yourself from the reverie. With a quiet breath, you turned to follow Molly, who had already begun walking back towards your room. Your pace was slow, your mind replaying the conversation, as the heat in your cheeks returned with a rush. The weight of everything that had transpired that afternoon began to settle heavily within you.
You couldn’t help but think you might be damned. Not just by the information you had stumbled upon today, the unspoken tension hanging between you all, but by the mere presence of those three.
You were definitely damned.
#aisie writes#petals and plots#marauders#dead gay wizards from the 70s#fanfic#marauders era#marauders fic#the marauders#sirius being sirius#royal au#marauders fanfiction#poly!marauders x reader#poly marauders#poly!marauders imagine#poly!marauders x you#poly!marauders fic#poly!marauders fluff#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus x reader#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x y/n#remus lupin x self insert#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader
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GRANDDADDY ISSUES
I tried not to seem too eager, waiting in the living room. The Christmas tree was still up and various cookies and candy still out. Mom always went all out for the holidays, even if it was just the two of us.
Thing was, my mother was happy I was close to her father. Always had been and even more so since her divorce. Granddad Paul didn't live super close, but he made an effort to come visit at least once a month. Catching my lacrosse games, being there for my birthday each year, and just completing out the rump family Mom and I had. As a single mother, she held it together, props to her, but Granddad made it feel like a family.
Summers I'd spend a month with the man. He was a high school history teacher and football coach, and had down time to spend with me. I was 16 before I realized his appointed, or self-appointed role, was to be the father figure in my life. Teaching me guy stuff, man stuff. Fishing, camping, home repairs. Birds and the bees. Guy talk.
Of course Mom would freak out, and more, if she new Granddad Paul and I had fooled around the summer after high school. Testing the waters, then diving in. I thought I was confused sexually, but when Granddad went down on me, and sucked a healthy load from my 18 year old jock balls, I knew I wasn't confused one bit. I learned how to return the favor.
I heard him pull up, an old but reliable pick up truck. I looked out the window to watch him get out.
Granddad was the perfect man in my book. 5'10 and barrel chested, walking slightly bow legged like an overgrown jock, he strode up to the door, hands in his jeans pocket. He had on only jeans and gray sweatshirt emblazoned with the high school he'd coached at. He'd let his normal short hair cut grow out to a medium length, almost shaggy and fully gray.
"Killer!" he beamed when I opened the door. I could see the silvery stubble on his chin and smell his aftershave as he pulled me into a tight hug. I now knew how to return the bear clasp myself, patting Granddad's meaty back and feeling his cool cheek next to mine before we pulled back, matching smiles on our faces. Yeah, Granddad missed me, too. He gave a wink and patted my upper arm.
"Merry Christmas, Dad!" I heard my mom behind me. My cue to step aside.
"Linda!" Granddad said. "Merry Christmas." He greeted my mother with a gentler hug. "You're looking great," he said.
My mom had been taking care of herself lately. She had a new boyfriend, Gary, who'd come over for Christmas dinner. I suspected they were more serious than Mom let on, but she didn't want to push things too fast with me. Not that I cared.
For his part, Granddad always had Christmas dinner with my uncle and his family, who lived closer to him. So the day after was Christmas part two for us. Presents and an afternoon light dinner before I threw a couple of bags in the cab of his truck for the hour ride.
It was great this year. Mom was in a great mood, between the boyfriend, her recent promotion at work and my return from college. I did my best to help in the kitchen so should could have time with Granddad.
I'd bought Granddad a new electric shaver Mom said he wanted. The irony was clear to me when he opened it, his scruff fully evident. He even made a joke about it. "Guess it is time to get more presentable," he said.
He got Mom a gift card for the local department store. "You know I can't pick out what you want, Linda," he apologized.
"I'll make good use of it," she assured him, getting out of her chair to give him an affectionate hug.
I was blown away when I opened the small box for my present. There were two tickets to the upcoming Panthers game.
"Jesus, Granddad," I let out, then checked myself. Mom didn't like me to swear, though I didn't do any outright cussing.
He looked like he couldn't wait to read my reaction. "They're as much for me as for you, even if the Panthers aren't doing so hot this season," he said. "I figured it would give us something to do this week."
It was a week and a half I'd spend with the man, but who was counting?
We ended up hitting the road by mid afternoon. Granddad wanted to get us back before nighttime. On the ride it was a lot of catching up. Mostly me giving a monologue about my first freshman semester, what classes I was taking, and what I'd signed up for in Spring.
I could tell something was on Granddad Paul's mind. "You, um, talk to your dad, Drew?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yes, sir. we talked a little yesterday," I said in a flat tone. I didn't get along with my father. He was pretty absent and I had a lot of resentment.
Granddad looked over with a deep emotion and reached over to massage the back of my neck. It was affectionate and perfect. "I know it's tough, kiddo." Pulling his eyes back to the road he kept his hand there. The touch was getting me hard.
And as I looked over, taking in his weathered face and deepening wrinkles that framed his ruddy cheeks and roman nose, I was getting turned on for real now. I was wired for men, older men. Old men, really, though I was a low-key resentful that none of the men in the "mature" porn matched Granddad's hotness. He was well-preserved and yet clearly in his 60s. That combination was electric to me.
The man seemed to read my mind. "You know, Drew, we don't have to do anything this week. Anything you don't wanna."
I nodded. But my tone was upbeat, eager. "I wanna Granddad," I assured him. "It's kind of all Ive been thinking about the last few months."
"Is that right?" he chuckled. I felt his fingers tease the hair on the nape of my neck. "I figured Killer Stenson would have some fun to keep him occupied in college." Stenson was my Dad's last name, and mine too.
I spread my legs. I was officially bricked now. If Granddad had said HE didn't want to fool around, I didn't know what I would have done. I would have respected his wishes, and yet...
"No, sir. I guess I'm not wired for college guys, really," I said. It was a big admission, and one I'd rehearsed in my head for several weeks now. Turns out, Granddad Paul made me feel comfortable. It was all coming out easily now.
"And college girls?" he prompted.
"Not wired for girls at all, actually."
He nodded, taking it in. "You told your mother?"
I shook my head. "No, sir," I replied. "I haven't told anyone. Other than you."
"Well, it's no one's damn business if you don't want it to be."
We were getting close to Granddad's place and soon he removed his hand as he turned into the gravel driveway. He was a widower and when he'd retired, he'd bought a mountain cabin. We pulled up, and I got one bag, and Granddad the other. As we entered, I was reminded of the distinctly masculine space of the place. Wood paneling and woody-smoky scent from the fireplace. Framed photos of mountains and nature, a signed football jersey framed behind glass, and not much else for decoration.
Granddad could get in no-nonsense mode and already he was leading me back to the second bedroom, which was the guest room when I visited. "Everything is here for you, Drew," he said, setting down my bag.
I gave a quick look in. Basic bed with wool blanket rather than a duvet or comforter. I wanted to respect Granddad's space, but I had to take a chance.
"I was kinda hoping I could be in the master bedroom," I said, nervously looking into the man's blue eyes.
That caught him by surprise. We'd fooled around the previous summer, a lot actually, but it had felt very exploratory, a naughty new game for both of us. Maybe this was my way of ratcheting that game up. But I'd had almost four long months to imagine this visit.
Granddad was caught by surprise. "For real, Killer?" he asked, in that "are you sure?" tone. Then giving me a wink, he added, "I snore, you know."
"I don't give a fuck, Granddad," I said, emboldened by the fact he hadn't said no.
There was a look of lust on that handsome face of his, and Granddad closed the distance between us. I felt his breath and then the scruff of his stubble before our lips touched. A gentle peck, then I opened my mouth. Granddad has a thick tongue and I could feel it snake in between my lips.
Oh fuck, we were making out, and this felt different than before. Granddad pulling my body into his and me feeling up that strong body through his sweatshirt.
"Easy, Killer," he finally mumbled into my lips. "Soft kissin can be kind of hot, too."
And then Granddad showed me a new speed, a new technique. He was right, this was incredible, and amazingly the gentler approach was fueling my boner just as much.
I did grunt, though, as I felt Granddad's paw grip my crotch.
He had a big smile as he pulled back. "Let's take this to my bed, young man."
We made our way to the master bedroom and quickly stripped down. I loved how Granddad's eyes were on me the whole time. "You packed on some more muscle at school, stud?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yes, sir. Been hitting the weights hard," I added. I wasn't playing lacrosse at college, but I wanted to maintain and develop my jock body.
His eyes swept up and down my near nakedness. Appreciative, even as he got his lecturing tone. That Coach tone. "I hope you're doing it for yourself, Drew," he said. "Not for anyone else."
"I am, Granddad," I said with a slightly annoyed tone. Maybe he was right that my body issues and insecurities were driving my obsession with lifting and putting on muscle.
"Well, you're the kind of stud who makes me thankful I'm a man."
Then I watched Granddad slip off his underwear, showing off that full magnificent 65 year old body. Muscular but with some loose sag to the beef, that build was covered in a thick silvery fur trimmed evenly, at least until the darker bush, where gray pubic hairs grew longer and stray next to the brown ones. Granddad Paul's cock was just shy of 6 inches and cut and pretty thick, especially at the base. He'd confided to me that he took pills for a mild case of ED, and maybe he'd taken one that day, because his prick was sticking up hard.
"I'm thankful you're a man, too, Granddad," I joked, even as I slid off my boxers and showed my grandfather my erect dong. I wasn't as thick as him, but I had a good inch and a half in length on him.
"Goddamn," he hissed. I loved how the man let loose with the swearing when it was just us. Especially at times like this. He stepped up and reached down to gently stroke my hardon from base to tip. "OK if I suck this, Drew?"
I didn't know why he was being so coy, but then I realized he'd had four long months to imagine us having sex again. Anticipating. Not knowing where we'd pick off, or even if we would.
"Um, yeah, Granddad."
He looked up from my dick. "You know, my name is Paul."
"I know," I said. It felt weird being on a first name basis. The tone in my voice suggested I never would be.
That got a chuckle out of him. He hadn't let go of my cock, instead he slowly stroked it. Without lube it felt more of a tease motion rather than a jacking off pleasure. I loved it. "If you're game, there's some stuff I want to try this week," he said. A little nervousness was behind his mature experience.
"Yeah?" I asked excitedly. I reached forward to feel up his torso, feeling the thickness of his aged muscle.
He nodded. "You tried fucking yet, Killer?" he asked with a grin.
"No, sir," I said. "Been thinking about it, though. A lot."
That brought a smile to his face. "Your mother would kill me," he said.
"She's not gonna find out, sir," I assured him.
Granddad released my dick and then crouched down in front of me, His strong hands ran up and down my outer quads as he stared at my dick. "We're gonna have a lot of fun this week, aren't we, Killer?" he breathed.
"Yes, Granddad," I answered.
He leaned in some and skinned back my foreskin. "You know I'm not a big fan of your father, but I'll give him credit for leaving your skin intact."
I felt his tongue taste the tip then watched him open up and take me in. I still got a thrill from seeing this masculine man being so enthusiastic sucking dick. He didn't got slow either. Taking just a second to get used to me and my size, he began working me up and down with long steady mouth strokes. Twisting his head slightly and giving a gentle tug of my balls.
"Granddad!" I urged. My lock was loaded and my sexual response was far more primed than I expected. If Granddad kept it up, I wouldn't last long. I even gave a half hearted attempt to push his shoulders back, but he kept on me. I looked down on his almost entirely gray hair and his mature body. He was bobbing faster now, and sucking more fervently. "FUCK!" I gasped.
I heard the man choked down my heavy load in successive swallows. His moans around my spurting prick were deep and appreciative as he rode out my orgasm with his slowed down sucking.
"Goddamn, buddy," he finally said as he pulled back and wiped his chin. "That's one helluva load. Please tell me you have more in the tanks for later."
"Probably," I laughed, enjoying the way my dick stayed rigid after cumming so hard.
He took his time standing up. "Think I can feel you up for a bit?" he asked. Already he was climbing on to the bed and scooting over to the other side to pull out some lube.
I wasn't sure what he was wanting but I got in bed, too. He squirted a good deal of lube on his dick and started stroking before turning back to me. His free hand ran along my bare torso.
"You got a beautiful body, Killer," he said, openly massaging my chest and abs. I wasn't completely smooth but compared to him I was.
"Thank, Granddad," I said. "I love yours, too." I reached out and began to touch his furry chest.
"I'm old," he said with a laugh.
I looked into his eyes. "Don't take this the wrong way, Granddad, but I like em old."
"You into the daddies, Killer?" Granddad smiled.
"Older, even," I admitted. "A man has to be 60 before I notice him. I'm kind of messed up."
"Hardly, stud," he said. He took his hand and moved to touch and caress my chin. "I got a good bud like you."
I tried to pick up on the implications of what he was saying. Put two and two together. "A boyfriend?" I knew Granddad had gone mostly for men after Grandma died. Said he didn't think he was up for another traditional relationship and that there was too much lost time to make up.
"No," the man replied. "Just a deep friendship. He's married now, but craves a little coach time, you know?" I could tell he was hesitant to tell me about this.
"A former player?" I asked.
"That stays between you and me, Killer."
"Yes, sir." I ran my hand down, past his moving fist, to cup his balls. "I'm just glad you got someone looking after you, Granddad."
"Oh kiddo," he breathed, closing in the gap for another kiss. This was less soft than before but it was amazing. Real heavy making out as Granddad moved back to feeling my body as he jerked off. He had a slower sexual response but it didn't take him long. He pawed at my chest more aggressively as I felt the tension rise and release in his body. He grunted into my mouth and I felt his hot cum splash on my belly.
We embraced and held each other after our orgasms, making out some but also just feeling each other's bodies.
"So... the older man thing," Granddad said, breaking the silence. "How much of that is me?"
He asked the thing that had been on my mind. "Some of it. But I think if we hadn't fooled around, I would have found someone who reminded me of you."
That got a soft grunt from the man. I knew the words hit him in an emotional and sexual place. "Is that what we're doing, Killer? Just fooling around?" There was an edge to his voice, teasing yet sexual.
"Oh god, Granddad," I hissed. "I've been trying not to get ahead of myself."
He gave me a thoughtful look, his blue eyes set off by his gray hair and weathered face. "Well, we got all week to figure things out."
"Week and a half," I corrected.
Granddad smiled. "You serious about what I said earlier? About trying more?"
I felt his strong biceps, pumped beneath the looser skin. "I'm not very experienced, sir. But I wanna be. I want you to be the one to show me."
We kissed, soft again, super slow. I was hard but not eager to cum again, just enjoying the proximity to him. I could feel Granddad's cock plump out, too. It was dark out, pitch black dark, and we had only the light of the bedlamp. I had no idea what time it was, but my stomach rumbled.
That got his attention. He pulled back and looked me up and down. I had the feeling I was his Christmas present, more than the electric razor. "Let's get some food in you, buddy. And we can take our time with the rest, OK?"
I got up. Granddad handed me one of his T-shirts and a spare pair of sweats. I loved wearing his clothes, and I loved that he trusted me to start a fire in the fireplace while he made us some burgers. Granddad is particular about the fireplace being set up and lit the proper way.
Even if the meal was casual, washed down with cans of cold lager, it felt like the most special date night I could imagine.
Maybe I was a little too silent as I ate. Even when I was done, I sipped my beer and looked at Granddad Paul's handsomeness and felt like the luckiest man.
"What are you thinking, Drew?" he asked softly.
I blushed. "Just crushing out on you a little, sir. Sorry."
He shook his head. "Don't be sorry. I'm crushing out on you, too, buddy. More than a little."
I felt flush hot with desire and emotion now. I threw hard, I couldn't help. Granddad noticed and chuckled. "Just be patient with me, Killer, I'm an old man and don't have the sex drive I once did."
My turn to laugh. "You do just fine, sir." This time I took the initiative, setting down my beer and moving over to kiss him.
I lost track of time again. Both of us did. I never fished my beer. I was tired enough anyway, when Granddad wordlessly led me back to his bedroom. Our bedroom for the week. No more sex that night, just spoon naked against one another. But Grandad Paul was right: we had all the time we wanted to take together.
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“I can show you that not all men are like that.”
Character: Damian Wayne/Robin
Authors note: most likely not reviewed for spelling errors or mistakes lmfao, this is more of a blurb tbh. In the middle of writing this, I caused a gigantic spill all over my side table and onto my carpet so I was over it lmfao. I’m sorry that it isn’t longer :( I hope all of you have a safe and exciting new years! Let’s hope 2025 treats everyone with happiness and respect <3
Being Jon’s best friend and longtime partner, it was easy to tell when Jon was distracted and other times, it was very easy to get distracted with him. Today was one of those days where you and Jon were just being menaces to everyone that was around the two of you. You had known Jon since you entered the league under Dinah’s wing. From that point, you and him stuck to each other which made it seem like the two of you were more of siblings than friends and when Damian walked into the picture, you knew that you hit a certain nerve every time you were being particularly loud and obnoxious.
You walked into the lair hoping that Jon would be there, under the guise of seeing if he had down some of the work done that the two of you shared for a college class. The two of you went to a local college in Smallville and even though you were both getting different degrees, required classes had the two of you stuck in general English class together.
“Damian!” You said as you noticed his boots at the door, “my lovely friend who admits to hating me but secretly doesn’t!” You sang as you walked into the common area. You saw that him looking through his computer, half annoyed and angry.
“Where’s Jon, I need him,” you finally said. Damian pointed at the computer that showed that Jon was out on a mission to which he didn’t tell either of you, “that little fucking rat, are you kidding me?” You said rhetorically, “he didn’t tell he was out on a mission for an entire week! We were assigned as partners this week,” you added on.
Damian scoffed, “who do you think got assigned to Gotham until he returns?” You pushed him out of the way as you read that you were assigned to do patrols with Damian until Jon came back to help you patrol Smallville. You stomped on the ground like an angry toddler realizing you’d be out of your house all week, “I could cry, who assigned me here and why didn’t they think to tell me?” You asked. Damian giggled as you realized that Jon must’ve put you in his place until he came back.
“Well, I guess I have to hang around here all week,” you said in a huff, “gut I guess there’s one good thing about this, you’ll be stuck with me!” You added as you turned around to Damian and started giggling.
By that point, Bart and Cassie walked in as she ran over to you, “did you go on the date with that guy from your accounting class?” She asked as she practically dragged you to the couch, “yeah but it was a blow. The typical college guy as you can expect except this time, the moron decided it’d be a good idea to leave me the bill from dinner and not come back.”
Damian, Bart, and Jaime who had walked down the stairs a few moments before stared at you in shock.
“What? I never said that my love life was skyrocketing in success,” you said in annoyance. Damian put his hand up to pause you, “you’re meaning to tell me the guy left you with the bill and left without a goodbye?” You nodded in agreement, still confused as to what he was trying to insinuate, “and this normal?”
You thought for a moment, “well, the last two guys, one stood me up before I could go on the date and the other guy ghosted me at the restaurant so technically this is a first for me,” you recalled. The boys, who were now hanging their heads in disappointment couldn’t help but sigh, “listen, this conversation was between Cas and I. Why are all of you so interested now?” You asked, popping in a piece of candy Bart had left on the table.
Cassie rolled her eyes as she looked back at you, “Well, what about Jon’s friend? Weren’t the two of you just texting?” You rolled your eyes, “he’s a nice guy but definitely just a friend. I think I’m doomed and there’s no love in my future.”
Before anyone else could say anything, your communicators had went off indicating that you and Damian were now scheduled to patrol. You went over to Damian and jumped on his back, instantly getting a shout from the boy, “do you ever think she’ll realize that Damian likes her?” Bart asked Cassie. Cassie laughed dramatically, “not in a million years unless something or someone makes it click in her head.”
-
It wasn’t often that you and Damian patrolled together and the times that you did, Jon was usually came along. You didn’t hate Damian but you could tell that he wasn’t exactly your biggest fan. You wondered if this was because of your relationship with Jon or if you were just too loud and obnoxious for his liking. You knew Damian barely tolerated Jon at first but the two of you had known each other for years now and it definitely seemed like there was a dislike from Damian to you.
“So, you go any other unfortunate dates to share to the class?” Damian mocked. You rolled your eyes, not in the mood to deal with his obnoxious attitude, “well, not that I’d ever share that with you but yes I do. I have a case of bad luck in the romance department,” you admitted hoping that he’d get off your case.
Damian didn’t say a thing for a moment.
“Well, what’s the worse?” He asked. You thought a few minutes until you started laughing in embarrassment and slight annoyance, “well, I can see why you’d make fun of me for this but I think the worst date I ever went on was last year. I matched with a guy on this app and we went out to dinner only for the idiot to not realize that his girlfriend’s best friend worked at the restaurant. In my defense, I clearly didn’t realize that he was cheating on her with me so you can imagine the look I had on my face when the girl smacked him and proceeded to berate him in front of the entire restaurant.”
Damian stared at you in shock, not really knowing what to say.
“I thankfully got off lucky when I told her that I didn’t know he was cheating but it was still embarrassing nonetheless,” you continued. Damian looked into the alley, hoping that no one heard what he was about to say. Damian sighed knowing what he was about to say was coming out like word vomit, “well, I can show you that not all men are like that.”
You gave him a look of confusion.
“Listen, I know I haven’t been the nicest to you and you’re not that stupid to not realize it,” you flicked him in the forehead as he continued, “but I figured I’d rather be the one to show you that some men are actually good out there.”
“Wait, this isn’t you pitying me, is it? Because if it is, I’m going to kick you ass,” you said taking out your baton and swinging it in the air. Damian lowered the baton and gave you a sincere look, “I’m not kidding. Tomorrow after patrol, we can switch shift with Tim and Steph and I’ll take you out.”
You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief.
“If you end up backing out last minute, Batman is going to be down a son.”
Damian flicked you on the forehead as he assured you that this time, maybe you weren’t going to be so unlucky.
#dc#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc comics#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#robin imagine#robin x reader#dc robin#comic fanfiction#comics imagine
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Nipping At Your Nose - Han Jisung x f!reader Oneshot
Synopsis: You're spending the holidays at the club with your roommate and things take a turn for the best when you meet the blue-haired bartender who turns out to be more than what you expected.
Or Han Jisung as Jack Frost a.k.a. club owner
Pairing: Jack Frost/Club Owner!Han Jisung x f!reader (1st POV)
Genre: s2l, fluff, smut, mythical characters
Warning: 18+ MDNI, unprotected sex (wrap up!), biting kink, sexual assault (reader is groped and handles her own), weed consumption, alcohol consumption, temperature/ice play (but not what you would think), nipple play, blowjob/handjob, pussy eating, squirting, slight foot fetish (Jisung just likes her socks), I probably most definitely missed some warnings so just let me know!
WC: 16k
A/N: I totally meant for this to have been posted for Christmas, but who am I kidding, it got away from me! EXTREMELY UNEDITED, but Han Jisung's blue hair is wrecking me and I needed to write about him immediately. Again I can't emphasize enough how unedited this is, so I am so sorry, I literally could not stop writing 😭 There's also a small part of me that wants to write all the members as their characters, but that would so much, unless.. IDK you tell me! Also if you want to see more Jack!Jisung, requests are open ☺️
Masterlist
Taglist: @hanji-coffee, @inlovewithstraykids, @xgridx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I tapped the bar as I threw the shot back, holding in from making a face as I brought the lime to my lips. I turned to my right grinning as Damian glared at me as he sucked on his lime. I had convinced him to come out as a celebration for finishing the week and celebrating the holiday season. With Christmas being tomorrow, this had been the only club we could find that was open. We had both started new jobs at the beginning of the month and had finally found the time to celebrate our accomplishments. Even as roommates, we barely saw each other with how much work we did.
On top of the fact that this would be my second year spending Christmas after having been no-contact with my family. A distraction was a must. I went out of my way to make the holiday special for myself and refused to allow the lack of family stop me from treating myself and those I loved. Damian had decided to spend the holiday in the states rather than go home to visit his parents in Australia as he normally did.
“Literally so many different ways we could be celebrating,” Damian groaned, head falling back as he leaned away from me. A laugh bubbled from my lips as I called out to the bartender to request another round of drinks.
The original bartender, a cute muscular man, who had been serving us was now occupied with patrons on the otherside of the bar and turned to the man squatting next to him that had just come from their backrooms. I watch the two converse before the man squatting stands up to come over to us and suddenly I’m greeted with wide brown eyes, blue hair, and chubby cheeks.
I felt myself pause as I took in the good-looking man in front of me. His black long-sleeve shirt was loose around his frame, rolled at the sleeves. He had one gold chain hanging from his neck and various rings and earrings decorating his person. My eyes watched as he rubbed his hands on the rag that had been hanging on his shoulder. His very veiny hands at that. My eyes stuck to the way his long fingers clenched around the towel. I felt my mouth start to salivate the longer I stared. His eyebrow raised as I stayed silent longer, glancing over to Damian who looked ready to burst out laughing.
Damian shoved an elbow into my side, causing me to flinch and sit upright in my chair. I stared wide-eyed at the bartender, my brain coming to a complete stop.
“I wanna hold your hand-”
Girl.
“NO! I mean-“ my hand shot out in front of me, shaking at him, other hand covering my mouth in disbelief. Damian shook in chair, practically falling out of it from how hard he was laughing. The bartender’s smirk stretched into an amused smile, his hands now coming to rest on the bar as he let out a huff of laughter. “Can I please get a rum and coke?”
I mumble out my order, my eyes refusing to leave the bar-top as Damian continued to laugh, attempting to give his own order. As soon as the grinning bartender walks away to make our drinks, I turn to the ‘Brutus’ sitting next to me, taking my turn to shove an elbow into Damian’s ribs now, hissing in his ear.
“Thanks for the help, ass!”
He yelped and rubbed at his side, eyes narrowing at me, but the smirk on his face gave him away.
“It didn’t look like you needed my help with how you practically shoved his pants down and started to suck his d-“
“Alright, I have a ‘Manhattan’ for the gentleman and-“ the “too-cute-for-his-own-good” bartender returned with our drinks laying them down in front of us one by one. “A rum and coke for my new favorite customer.”
He shot me a wink as I sputtered reaching to grab my drink, fingers barely grazing his. I jumped a bit, quickly bringing the drink up to my lips, straw bumping my top one before making it into my mouth. Way to go, ________, way to go.
The bartender leans forward, hand outstretched towards me. His shoulders and arms seeming so big, making a flash of heat go through me. My eyes dart from his hand back to his face, stopping once, several times, at his lips.
“You said you wanted to hold my hand right?”
More like put your fingers in my mouth, but sure.
The heat rose to my face, blooming from my chest upwards. I watched as his eyes flashed down, to look at my barely covered tits, the red halter lace connected by two rhinestone hearts at the center. I had chosen to pair the top with a white layered mini skirt that had a small bow in the middle. His eyes lazily going up my body from what he was able to see. I could feel the heat in me grow further and I turn to Damian, shooting up from my seat.
“Let’s go dance!”
“But we -“ I grabbed his arm, dragging him behind me, shooting one last glance towards the bar to see the hot man still gazing at me, the smile on his face growing, crinkling his eyes. I quickly turn back around, chugging at my drink, trying my hardest to ignore the burning in my cheeks.
I face Damian once we hit the dance floor, the sea of bodies pushing us close together and forcing us to hold our drinks in front of our chests. Damian began to sway, his head bobbing to the music as he took meager sips. I, on the other hand, had finished my drink, glass empty in one hand as I began to move my hips to the music. I could feel Damian shuffling closer, swaying his hips in time with mine. I felt Damian take the empty glass from my hands, moving to an empty cocktail table to set them aside.
My gaze trails across the club, moving towards the bar where I am met with those brown orbs once more. I paused in my dance, eyes not wavering as we held contact. A body stepped in front of me, a man with a hopeful grin as he grabbed my hand to pull me closer. My eyes flashed to behind his shoulder where the blue-haired bartender continued to stare, his eyes with a challenging glint in them. I glanced to my right to see Damian had been pulled into by what appeared to be a bachelorette group. I turn back to the guy in front of me, stepping to the side, so that I would see the bar in my peripheral.
I turned my back to him, pressing up against his front, swaying my hips sensually to the music, hands moving up my body as his moved to my waist to pull me back against him. My head turned to see him still watching. A smirk on his face as he conversed with another patron. I felt my breath stutter as he continued to work, appearing unaffected.
It wasn’t an outright rejection, but the possibility of him being apathetic almost had me feeling embarrassed. I focus back dancing with the man who clearly seemed interested in me, albeit slightly more handsy than I was okay with it, but it was something I was letting slide, fuck it, it’s Christmas. Several times throughout our dancing, I had to move his hands back down to rest on my hips, him sending me a fake apology every time his fingers grazed the outside of my tit through my shirt or trying to slip his fingers under my skirt. However after I felt another rough grab at my ass, I had enough. I prepared to leave his hold when the music abruptly changed to an all to familiar song, freezing me in my spot as I listened.
Yeah, uh-huh
Yeah, yeah
My eyes flashed towards the bar, my mouth gaping open as I found him already looking.
Broke up with my girl last night so I went to the club (So I went to the club)
I snorted, hand flying to my mouth as his eyes flashed with amusement. The man behind me remained oblivious to our interaction, hand coming up to rest on my stomach and leaning down to whisper in my ear. I turn my head, looking away from him to focus again back on the handsy guy behind me.
“You’re so hot,” I restrain myself from gagging, biting my lip to stop the laugh from escaping and lay a hand on top of his arm to prevent it from getting further. The ick had long settled in and I had already regretted letting him dance on me.
“Thank you,” I say back, ready to disentangle myself from when he held on even tighter. My eyes widened in surprise, head flashing to the side.
“You have to realize what you’ve been doing?” He suddenly pressed forward, pressing a very obvious erection against my ass. I gasped and tried to turn in his hold again.
“I’m done dancing, let go of me.”
“The way you were dancing on me tells me differently,” one of his hands moved up, grazing underneath my tit over my shirt. Oh hell no! I gaped and slammed my heeled boot down on his shoe finally causing him to release his hold as he yelled out in pain. He crouched down to hold his foot as I whirled around, hands falling to my hips as I glared down at him.
“I wasn’t dancing for you, fucking pervert,” he straightened up, immediately crowding into me. I stumbled back a few steps, not having been prepared, eyes still blazing in fury. My back was suddenly pressed against someone’s chest, a very cold chest.
I like the bartender (oh, if you’re lookin’ for me)
I’m at the bar with her (Oh oh oh uh-huh, okay)
His hands hold onto my elbows, thumbs rubbing circles into the inside of them. The smell of woods and chestnuts? surrounded me as the chest behind me vibrated with anger.
“He’s banned, take his ID down and kick him out.”
The man spit on the floor near us, leaving me to flinch back against the chest behind. My eyes flashed upwards to meet the brown orbs that had been watching me all night, softening once they made eye contact with mine.
“That bitch started it, the fucking slut was asking-“
He hadn’t been able to finish his sentence before a fist flew forward and slammed into his cheek. The security guard, dressed in a black ensemble with the only color coming from a Santa hat on his head, that had thrown the punch, cracked his neck to the side and hauled the man back to his feet. I watched with a scowl on my face, crossing my arms, what a fucking asshole and during Christmas!
“Thanks, Chan,” the security guard or Chan nodded towards us and sent a wink my way as he led the perv out. My eyes flashed to the owner of the deep voice behind me, taking him in up close again.
“I’m ______,” I interrupt him the second I noticed his mouth open. He stopped, mouth still open as he tilted his head. He laughed his hand grabbing mine to shake it.
“That’s a pretty name,” I nodded my head, hand still holding onto his hand, his very veiny hand. He pulled me closer by my hand, kissing my knuckles. “I’m Jisung, now come on, Sweetness.”
My hand engulfed by his, pulls me towards the backrooms, up a small staircase. My eyes stay fixated on the man leading me. His blue hair shining under the lights of the club and added festive lights. We reached a dark hallway, him leading me further towards the last room. Each door we passed contained a symbol on it, I was able to make out a top hat, an Easter egg, and a clock before we stopped in front of a door with a silver snowflake.
As Jisung unlocks the door, I realize I should feel scared or at least cautious by the fact that a stranger was leading me away, but as he looked back towards me, eyes still soft, all other thoughts left, only he remained. Scurrying a few steps to be in stride with him, bringing his hand up to my lips to press a kiss. His lips stretching into a smile as he opens a door to an office space completely decked out in Christmas decorations.
I gasped and walk into the room, eyes trying to take it all in. The office didn’t look like a typical office, rather more of a game room, with a couch and tv on one side and more of a library space on the other. A tree stood in the middle, multi-colored lights and what looked like personal ornaments.
“Jisung, this is beautiful,” the door shuts behind him as he walks toward to the small bar behind the couch. He smiles watching me, hands laying on the counter top. I turn towards him, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth. He watched me with dark eyes, the desire evident in them. I suddenly felt naked, yet not in a way that made me want to hide away.
My eyes flashed towards the coffee table and I gasped, my feet immediately leading me towards it.
“You were holding out on me!” I pulled off my boots, the grinch ankle socks making themselves known. I heard a strangled sound me behind me as I sank down onto the plush couch. My head whipped around to see Jisung’s head thrown back, eyes closed and jaw clenched. I realized how rude that could have been, I knowing first hand how specific I was with sharing my weed. I turned to face him, sitting on my knees, hands coming to rest on the back of the couch.
“I’m sorry, I should have asked first or let you offer, that was rude of me.”
His eyes opened, head moving to look at me. He took in my position and groaned once again, leaning now on his forearms, head falling to touch the counter.
“Sweetness,” I shivered at the nickname and shuffled closer to him. I reached out, hand hesitant in mid-air before coming to rest on the top his hair, fingers running through the blue strands. The moan that left him came from deep within his chest as I lightly dragged my nails through the locks.
He lifted his head up slowly, my hand slowly falling to rest on the side of his neck. His eyes met mine, swiftly standing up and striding to round the couch to meet me. He sits next to me, hands moving to the rolling tray, papers, and grinder that lay there. He took in a deep breath, as his hands began to empty the grinder to roll a blunt.
I moved in my seat, tucking my legs to the side as I leaned my hands on my knees.
“Do I make you nervous, Jisung?”
His eyes glanced towards me before taking another look at how much closer I got. His eyes went wide, dropping the blunt and some of the weed he had already began to sprinkle on top back on the tray.
“N-no,” I hummed and sat back, eyes glancing away down at his hands.
“Oh-“ he didn’t turn back to begin rolling yet, eyes remaining on me. “You make me nervous.”
I look towards him, meeting his eyes to find the surprise there. I couldn’t help the smirk that came onto my face as I pushed against his shoulder with my hand. “Okay, not too much now, it was obvious.”
He smiled wide at me, head dropping forward as he chuckled. His hand came up to rub the back of his neck, a deep blush on his face.
“You- uh- definitely make me nervous, but more about what you could do to me,” he turned back to the tray, his hands resuming their task to finish rolling the blunt. My legs move to place my feet back on the floor. A hand falls on my left foot before it could hit the floor and maneuvered my legs to go over his thigh, my legs falling in between his. My feet rubbing at his calves.
“Are you gonna ask me what I want for Christmas now, Santa?” I whisper into his ear. The desire growing further inside of me.
His eyes flicker over to me as he brings the blunt to his lips, letting tongue come out to lick at the leaf. My eyes follow the movement of his tongue as his fingers continued to roll it back up. He reached out the hand holding the blunt towards me, eyes expectant.
“Depends, have you been naughty or nice?”
I leaned forward, my tongue coming out to run right where his had. I maintained eye contact with him, eyes drooling with want for each other. He pulled it back as my legs squeezed the thigh under me. He hissed and tapped a hand against my thigh, smirking as I giggled and fell into his side.
“Yea, definitely naughty, Sweetness,” his fingers reached down to tickle at my foot. “Might have to give you a new nickname.”
He finished closing the blunt reaching over to grab the lighter. As he lit it, his eyes felt shut and his neck went back as he re-inhaled the smoke through his nose. I gulped watching his throat bob, his fingers holding the blunt nonchalantly. He reopened his eyes and made contact with me as he exhaled the smoke.
He held the blunt out to me and I stared at him for a second, the temptation inside of me growing. I wrapped my lips around the blunt, taking a long drag. My lips pressing against the pads of fingers. I closed my eyes willing myself to ignore the slick beginning to pool in my underwear. Anxious he’ll begin to feel it through his slacks. I shifted in my seat, pulling away from the blunt as I exhaled the smoke through my nose.
I opened my eyes to find his boring into mine. I pursed my lips, trying to hold back my pleased smile. I leaned back my seat, pushing the blunt back towards his lips.
“So you’re not just the bartender then?”
His tongue came out to lick his lips as he took a hit himself, holding it towards me again. He smirked at my question and shrugged his shoulders.
“You could say that,” I pouted and sniffed, to hold the smoke in for a bit longer. I pursed my lips to the side to exhale and looked off to the side.
“Then would you say you’re the owner?”
“That’s right, Sweetness, although it’s not just me,” he took a hit, leaning back against the couch, bringing the ashtray with him and handing it to me. I scooted closer to him, legs curling up more in his lap as he continued to hold the blunt up for us to take hits off of.
The further down the blunt became the closer the two of us sat, the more the conversation deepened. It was odd to find myself sharing of more about myself, the fears of the new job, what it could mean for me in the future. He shared of his friend group, the group as I’ve come to learn that are all part owners of the club or have a role to serve. My head now leaning on his shoulder, his free hand resting on my thigh, fingers reaching in the inside of my thighs.
“What made you stay open for Christmas? Did the holly jolly man inspire you?”
He snorted and shrugged his shoulders as he laid the roach in the ashtray, grabbing it from my hands to put it back on the table. He settled back down, his hand coming back to rest on my thigh. His eyes have a glint to them that I can’t quite put my finger on.
“Please, as if he could make any of the club decisions, he’s too busy with his list all the time,” Jisung grumbled, a pout making it’s way on his lips.
“You’re right, how could I compare you to that old man?” Jisung nodded as I placed a hand on his cheek, turning his face down to look at me. “Besides, if I’m being completely honest, I’ve always been more into Jack Frost anyways.”
Jisung stills underneath me, the hand he had on my thigh, clenching. My own hand stills on cheek, nervous that I may have said something wrong.
“I’m actually Jack Frost,” his hand squeezes my thigh and an unreadable emotion enters his eyes as he stares at me. Interesting. A beat passes before he clears his throat. “Hence the hair,” he pointed a finger up towards the blue locks. I reached up to tug one of the strands, biting my lip.
“I’ve always had a biting kink,” deciding to play along with his joke.
Jisung and I blinked at each other before bursting into a fit of laughter. My face turned, nose pressing into his chest as we laughed against the other. Jisung’s laugh filled my ears and it became a sound I wanted to hear again and again. I leaned back from him, finally calming down form the laughing fit. He met my eyes and brushed a stray strand of hair behind my ear, fingers gliding down the side of my neck.
“We’ll have to test that theory some other time then,” he hummed more to himself than to me. His eyes staring hard at the juncture between my neck and shoulder, thumb pressing in. I leaned back into him, his hand falling to rest around my shoulders as I laid my head on his.
“I don’t know honestly,” Jisung sighed as he started to answer my initial question. “I just realized that some people don’t always have it to spend it with and that… fucking sucks. So why not just be open?” he trailed off, head dipping back to lay on the couch. I shifted my head up to look at him, my breath catching at his response. “Besides, I’m with my best friends anyways, that’s all matters to me.”
My eyes ran down his face, taking in the blue of his hair against his honey skin. The cupid’s bow of his lips with the slight 5 o’clock shadow framing them. I turned my gaze down to the hand that rested on my thigh, not noticing as he turned to face me.
“And to think if I hadn’t been open for such a holiday, I wouldn’t have met you, Sweetness,” my eyes move up his body to meet his again, taking in the way the smirk plays at his lips, but his eyes. His eyes tell me so much more. I couldn’t help, but become overwhelmed with the urge to hold this man’s hand and never let it go. Already knowing the warmth it would provide me, creating a longing inside, that I never knew existed.
I looked away from him, towards the clock he had above the television flashing 12:25.
I gasped sitting up, whirling around to face Jisung.
“Fuck, it’s Christmas already! Damian! Fuck me, man, I’m the worst!”
I scrambled up from where I practically sat on his lap, trying to tug on my boots. Jisung was quick to stand with me, hands falling on my hips as I struggled to get my shoes on.
“Wait, Sweetness,” Jisung guided me to sit back down, kneeling before me as his hands tugged my boots from my hands. I looked at him, mouth opening ready to argue with him. “Would you want to invite him back here?”
I paused in my movements, staring up at him in surprise.
“I-“ I looked all over his face, trying to something to tell me what he was thinking. I felt slightly dumbfounded that he was ready to invite my friend back into the intimate environment we had created. The pleading in his eyes became apparent as his hands moved to my feet, pressing into the soles. “Jisung.”
I mumbled his name, hands coming to run up his muscular arms up to his shoulders. He moved closer, his noses brushing against mine.
“You just stay in here and I can go get him,” his hands moved up from my feet to my calves, fingers still digging in to massage the muscles. I felt myself become like putty in his hands, melting further into his touch. “You can roll another joint if you want and I know some of the guys would be willing to come join, we’ll celebrate all together, hmm?”
I was nodding my head before he finished, squeezing his shoulders with each word that passed through his lips. Something about the way he phrased it, it seemed like he was begging me to stay, not wanting this moment between us to end.
“Will you come back?”
He snorted, his head dipping forward, his hair brushing the skin left exposed by my shirt. I heaved in a breath as he raised his head again, a wide smile present.
“Sweetness, I’d be a fool to leave my favorite customer alone-“ I blushed as his hand moved up to grab a hold of mine. “And, who’s gonna hold your hand if I’m not here?”
“Jisung!” I pushed him off, laughing and trying to tug my hand out of his hold. “You’re so-“
“So?” He eggs me on, crowding up in my face, eyes comically wide. “Funny? Amazing? Pretty?”
“Annoying,” I state flatly, finger coming up to flick his forehead. Jisung yelps, hand coming up to rub at the spot. He playfully glowers at me, fingers flying forward to dig into my sides.
“Yah! You’re not being very nice! And on Christmas!” He mocked gaped at me as I flew into a fit of laughter, tears forming at my eyes. “I might have to tell Santa, you don’t even realize the sway I have, precious!”
“Ji-“ I shrieked further, Jisung moving to a standing position over me, continuing his assault at my waist. His smile wide as he took me in underneath him. “Spare me!”
He finally released me, hands falling on either side of the couch as leaned over me. I gasped for air, smiling wildly up at him, trying to calm the racing of my heart. He pressed his lips quickly against my forehead before standing straight and walking towards the door.
“I’ll be back, Sweetness, stay put,” he pointed a finger at me and I mock saluted him, winking.
“You got it, Mr. Frost!” He paused by the door, eyes flashing to me with an intensity that had me freezing. I bit my lip, clenching my thighs as a pit of desire blooms from my core, shivering as it felt like the room’s temperature dropped.
“Behave.”
The door closed behind him and I released a breath, falling back against the couch.
“What the fuck?” I sat back up, eyes trailing along the room, finding what looked like another door. I turned back towards the coffee table when I suddenly remembered my phone. I shrieked, hands flying to my tits to grab at them and then down to my stomach, hips and butt.
“Ah, fuck me, man!” I stomped my foot, slapping myself on my forehead. “Way to be distracted by some dick, _____, ugh you bitch,” I slip my boots back on, trudging to the door. Just as my hand reached for the handle, it swung open to present Damian.
“Yah!” I jumped back as he approached, expression angry. My eyes widen and I put my hands up in surrender.
“Listen to me! Listen to me! Let me tell you something first!” I am barely able to register the three other men walking into the room as Damian grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him, pulling me in for a hug, but it’s more of a chokehold.
“I was so worried! One second you’re there and the next you’re gone, and suddenly your Bartender is asking me to come with to a backroom! You can’t leave me alone! And on my first Christmas!”
“It’s not your first Christmas-“
“My first AmericanChristmas, you fucking brat! God, I should have you evicted!”
I snort as he fake cries and push against his chest, eyes flashing to the three amused men that have moved to different areas of the room. Jisung leaning by the door still, smile present watching us.
“It’s not my fault you were trying to get into an engaged woman’s pants!” After successfully pulling away from him, I pushed him towards the the couch to sit with the other man. I could feel Jisung’s body as he moved to follow us. His hand ghosting my lower back, leaving me feeling tingles all throughout my body, goosebumps raising all over my body. The heat from before rearing its head. Damian fell into the last open seat. Jisung pulled out floor cushions, settling down on one, with his back against the the chaise of the couch.
He pulled my hand down, moving me to settle in between his legs as he spread them. One leg bent, foot flat on the floor, the other outstretched, making the muscle of his thighs prominent. He reached under the coffee table, pulling a folded up throw to place it over my lap, being more mindful of the fact that I was in a skirt than I was. His hand finally coming to rest on my covered thighs, the other wrapping around my waist to keep me secured to him. I nestled further into the space as Jisung began to introduce his friends to me and vice versa.
Minho, the short, black-haired stoic-looking friend began rolling another joint, his eyes flashing to mine with a wink as Jisung said his name, causing me to grin back at him. There was something about the way he moved, slowly almost, eyes sleepy. The bleached buzz-cut friend, or Hyunjin, smirked at Jisung, his eyebrow raising in turn. He seemed to glow, the air around him somehow reminding me early spring.
“You must be who pulled our Jisungie away from us.”
‘Jisungie’ stuttered behind me, his hands clenching in their hold on me.
“Aww, I didn’t realize Jisungie already mentioned me!”
Minho snorted, licking the last of the blunt as he met my gaze.
“He messed up three drinks too busy watching you.”
I turned my head to look at Jisung, eyes sparkling with laughter, mouth twitching into a smile.
“Did you really?”
He furrowed his brows, glare stinging as he stared Minho down.
“Barely,” he grumbled as I giggled, hand coming up to cover my mouth, Damian and Hyunjin snorting in laughter. Minho smirked, lighting the blunt and taking a hit before passing it to Hyunjin.
“If it’s any consolation, I got groped while trying to get his attention, so I think we both learned our lesson,” I watched as all the men in room grew tense, their brows furrowing. Jisung tightened his grip on me, the deep breaths he took moved me on his chest.
“I promise, _______, that shit won’t ever happen again in our club,” Hyunjin shook his head as he continued the blunt rotation to Damian. “I’m sorry it even happened in the first place, but don’t worry he’s banned.”
Minho hummed, cracking his fist as he stood up to grab a drink from the bar. Even from the short interaction with Minho, the air around him was intimidating, heavy, almost like a blanket.
“I shouldn’t have left you for even a second, babes!”
Damian leaned down, passing it to me now. I shook my head not seeing how Damian could blame, taking a hit, breathing it back up my nose. I was about to turn my head to the side, fingers lightly gripped my chin, turning my head towards Jisung, lips opening in surprise and releasing smoke in his awaiting parted ones. My eyes were wide as I stared at his hooded ones, the furrow in his brows still present showing me how much the situation had frustrated him.
He leaned back, eyes still on me as he exhaled from his nose. I played with his chain, shaking my head firmly again.
“Nah, it’s no ones, but that perverts fault. I allowed him to dance with me and he crossed the line, he should’ve just felt lucky to have danced with me!”
“Exactly!” Minho slammed the shot glass down after his proclamation, sucking in air through his teeth. “Fucking bitch ass probably an insecure cunt who’s dick’s so-“
“Alright dude,” Hyunjin shakes his head as he grabs the blunt from me. Minho rounds the couch five glasses filled this time that he lays on the table.
“No let him finish! Asshole deserves it!” I lean forward, hand raised for a high-five which Minho gladly gives. I then reach for a glass, slap the shot on the table and throw it back, lips scrunching up at the taste. Jisung’s thumb wipes the excess that dribbled down my chin and sucks his finger.
“Okay, you two can relax,” Minho groans, stealing the blunt from Damian before he could pass it to me. “Nah, as punishment, we’re skipping you two.”
“Hey!” I pouted and turned to Jisung in shock, crossing my arms. “Keep your hands to yourself!”
Jisung gaped at me as I stood up from the between his legs, bringing the blanket with me to go on the other side of the coffee table. It was Jisung’s turn to pout, sending another seething look towards Minho as he passed the blunt to me now. For a moment, I could have sworn it looked like his eyes had changed colors, but I ignored it, chalking it up to the decorative lights of the room.
I stuck my tongue out at him and took a long drag.
“Sweetness, weren’t you just begging to hold my hand?” I began to cough, smoke creating a cloud around me as I covered my face with my arm. I could hear the cackle of Damian and threw up a middle finger. A body settled near me, a large hand patted me on the back as Hyunjin placed a cup of water down in front of me.
I looked up to see Jisung, who sends me a cheeky wink, bringing the glass to my lips. He continues to rub my back as I chug the water. Hyunjin grabs the remote, turning the television on to put a Christmas movie on.
“Jack Frost, the 1979 version! Do that one, that one’s my favorite!” I point when he just passes the old cartoon movie. I can see from peripheral Minho and Hyunjin turn to make a face at Jisung who had moved towards the bar to pour a drink. He shook his head slightly, finger tapping his lip. Hyunjin plays it, grabbing the other blankets from under the coffee table to pass them around.
“Is the club still open?” Damian asked, as he wrapped himself up in his blanket.
Minho nodded his head, taking another shot glass.
“We stay open all day on Christmas, but that’s also because we have a select group that comes and spends today with us.”
“A select group?” I look over at him as Jisung comes back around, grabbing the floor cushion to slide back towards me. He sits down, dragging me to sit on his lap, blanket covering our lower halves. I turn to look at Jisung in shock who merely shrugs and turns his attention to the movie.
“Basically it’s like a private member only club that we happen to host here every Christmas.”
“How do you become a member?” Damian crossed in his legs, sitting up intrigued now.
“It’s kind of based on their job?”
“What kind of job? I have a job!” I sit up in Jisung’s lap, hands squeezing at the arm wrapped around me.
“Not just any job, Sweetness,” Jisung chuckled behind me and rubbed a hand up and down my back. “Think maybe more life long jobs, passed down in a very specific way.”
“So nepotism?”
Minho busted out laughing as Hyunjin snorted. Jisung shook from laughter underneath me. Damian and I shared a confused look, both of our heads tilting to the side. I look at Jisung once again, eyebrow raising as he sobered up, hands tightening their grip on me as he bit his lip.
“Yea, Sweetness, something like that.”
I hummed, understanding that it was possibly a touchy subject and decided to drop it. Fanning the blanket to cover us more, I turned my head sideways to focus back on the movie. I felt Jisung’s cold nose rub lightly by my temple before shifting his attention to the TV as well.
It was about half an hour or more into the movie and all of us, excluding Damian who had fallen asleep, groaned when Sir Rightfellow came on.
“Ugh, I can’t believe she picked this douche over Jack!” I grumbled, arms crossing as Jisung moved us forward to pass Minho the joint that Hyunjin had rolled a few minutes prior. Minho’s eyes flash to behind me, a smirk present once again on his face.
“You don’t say?” I look behind me to catch Jisung shaking his head before he stops himself, smiling at me. “Are you implying you would have been Jack Frost’s bride?” I turn back to Minho with a ‘duh’ look on my face.
“Jack Frost is by far better, although, I wouldn’t want him to have to turn human. I’d be chill just being his as he is.”
I felt Jisung stiffen under me but paid no mind as I sat up further.
“Also, like I wish Jack would’ve just said something, you know? Like ‘hey, I saved your life’ or I don’t know just say your ‘Old Man Winter’!”
“I am not Old Man Winter!” Jisung shot back and I whipped around to face, mouth open. Minho hissed as Hyunjin chortled. I shook my head surprised by the scowl on his face.
“I- I know you’re not…” When the scowl on his face didn’t lessen, the pout prominent, I felt an overwhelming need to comfort him. “I’m sorry, Jisung, Jack Frost isn’t Old Man Winter?”
I didn’t mean for it to come out as a question, but I also couldn’t help but feel confused as to why he seemed so offended. His eyes widened once he realized his outburst and he turned his head to cough.
“I- I mean they’re two different people you know? Old Man Winter is the god of Winter, I’m- Jack Frost is winter you know? They’re completely different…”
“Smooth,” Minho mutters, causing Hyunjin to laugh even harder.
I nodded my head, as he finished, hands rubbing his chest to calm him.
“You’re right, Ji, they’re totally different, I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Jisung stared at me for a second before moving to stand to his feet, grabbing my hands to bring me with him.
“Come with me?” I nodded as he began to lead me towards the door I had seen earlier. He lifted a two-finger salute towards the boys as I turned to wave at them.
“Merry Christmas!” They smiled at me and called back to me, returning to the still-lit joint. Jisung pulled me through the door, closing it behind me.
“Wow!” I take in the silvery Christmas decorations, stepping further into the dark, cold bedroom, lit by the white lights. I walked towards the frosted windows, gasping at how real the frost looked like. I look at the bedroom, the fluffy dark blue sheets looking incredibly inviting. My eyes trailed to the bookshelf, littered with different books, games, and photographs.
One photo caught my eye in particular, it was Jisung, Minho, Hyunjin, that security guard Chan, and a few others that I didn’t know. What really caught my attention was how they were all dressed. Chan was dressed as Santa Claus, Minho in robes and a floppy hat with what looked like a cotton ball. Hyunjin had on a crisp white suit, in his hand a woven basket. I trailed my eyes over the picture, stopping at the darkly dressed Jisung. He looked normal if the frosty blue color of his eyes didn’t give him away.
I hear his footsteps as he approaches me slowly. I turn to face him, the question clear on my face.
“Is- hmm how should I ask this?” Jisung moved to sit on the bed, hands moving behind him as he leaned back. I could tell he was trying to appear indifferent, but his shoulders seemed tense, and his mouth tight. “Are you guys like.. a bunch of role-players or something?”
Jisung fell back into the bed laughing heartily, I smacked my teeth at him and moved to climb onto his lap, chuckling at the cute expression on his face, happy to see him relaxing. His eyes were closed, mouth open wide. His laugh gave me rich man vibes, leaving me to shiver in its wake. Fuck, he was too attractive. He sat back up, his blue hair shining under the silvery white Christmas lights.
His hands came up to grip my thighs, my skirt rucked up dangerously now between. My hands came to rest on his arms.
“What? I feel like it was a valid question!” Jisung snorted, his eyes full of amusement.
“It was, it was,” he pats my butt, sliding his hand up my back slowly. “No, we aren’t role-players.”
“Then they’re the nepo babies you mentioned, right?” He laughed again, nodding his head as I smirked triumphantly. “But why are you in it? You’re a nepotism baby too? And why are you all dressed like that?”
“Relax, Sweetness, I’m gonna answer your questions-“ I stood from his lap suddenly, going back to the picture and picking it up to bring it closer to my face. It was like the thought was not yet done forming, but my mind was going wild. There is just something about them, something in the look and the photo itself looked old almost. My brain racks through our conversations throughout the night.
There’s… no way…
I slowly bring the picture down, eyes flashing to him and then back to the photo. He hadn’t moved from his seat, yet his eyes changed from the playfulness from before to anxiety? Fear? Hope? I couldn’t tell with the bubbling confusion and denial already making itself known inside of me.
“You-“ I stop myself looking back at the picture, there’s just no way. I place the picture back down and look at Jisung, schooling my face. “Are you fucking with me or something? Like is this something that you do?”
“Wait, huh?”
“The whole ‘Jack Frost’ thing, I mean having us watch the movie-“
“Okay well hold on, you wanted to watch-“
“And then your reaction to being called ‘Old Man Winter’,” Jisung’s face immediately turned cloudy, his mouth dropping open to disagree. I held up a finger to his lips, my eyes blazing.
“I mean look at your room, Jisung, it’s not subtle!” My arms are outstretched to my side at this point, one hand still holding the photograph. “Is this why you guys stay open? Are you like some Christmas sex club? Members can pick their favorite character or something”
Jisung paused, the finger he had in the air to interrupt, bent at the knuckles. The lips twitched up, his eyes filling with laughter.
“I-“
“And what makes you think I would choose Jack Frost! What if I was more into Cupid, hmm?”
Jisung scoffed, arms crossing over his chest, looking off to the side with a pout on his lips.
“Changbin wouldn’t even know how to handle you,” I look back at him, eyebrows furrowed. I realized He.. actually thinks he’s Jack Frost. I glance at the picture again and back towards him.
I can’t possibly believe this.
Can I?
“You-“ I cleared my throat, his head turning towards me, but his eyes remained on the floor, pout still present. “You’re really Jack Frost.”
Jisung’s eyes met mine now, the seriousness on his face taking me by surprise.
“I am.”
The finality of his voice struck me to the cord. Jisung stood up from his seat moving towards the window, he glanced over at me before closing his eyes and blowing on the glass panes. I watch in amazement as frost leaves his pursed lips, the ice growing further on the panes. The room’s temperature drops further as more ice leaves his mouth. He stops, eyes opening revealing the icy blue color from the photo.
I gape in shock, slowly sinking to the floor, eyes flashing between him and the window.
“Y-you.. you’re Jack Frost,” one hand covers my mouth, the other falling flat on the floor next to the picture that continued to glare up at me. “Fuck, you’re really.. you..”
A hand slowly comes in my vision, moving my hand away from my mouth before tilting my face upwards with a finger under my chin. The icy blue in his eyes remained as he hesitantly crept closer. Oddly enough, his touch continued to feel warm to me even in the freezing room. Goosebumps rose on my body as our eyes met.
“I’m Jack Frost.”
“You’re Jack Frost.”
We both continued to stare at each other as our words sank in. I should run, I should leave and never look back. I was just drunk, high, maybe he drugged me! I mentally shook my head at that, knowing that this man had seemed so sincere in the interactions we had. My hand glides up his that’s still holding my chin, clenching the black fabric of his sleeve and pulling him down as I pushed up.
Our lips met in a bruising force, teeth almost clanking together at how desperately we gripped at each other. The heat in my core multiplied as Jisung’s hands went to both of my cheeks, fingers spreading to reach into my hair as we pushed closer. My arms squeezed his arms, hands moving to wrap around his neck. His teeth nipped and sucked at my lips, hands moving my head the way he wanted.
He pulled away suddenly, lifting me to my feet and walking us back towards the bed. I raised on to my tip toes, thankful I had taken my shoes off again once we started the movie. I move my hand to the back of his neck, bringing his head down to take a nip at his nose. He groaned, setting me on top of lap, bringing our cores flushed against each other.
I could feel the tent beginning to form on his pants, growing more as we continued to devour each other. His lips trailed down my neck, teeth biting at the flesh. I moan unabashedly, moving my hips over his to feel any type of friction. By now, my skirt was over my hips, underwear on full display. His hands kneading at the skin of my ass, shaking the extra flesh in his fingers.
“Fuck me, Sweetness,” Jisung continued to bite at me, going farther down to the tops of breasts, tongue coming out to lick the swell of my left one. Without warning, he bite down roughly, causing me to shriek and grind harder on his growing length, mouth salivating.
“Yes, Ji!” He hums as he takes another bite from the top of my right tit, tongue soothing the skin in his mouth. I groan, one hand fisting at the back of his shirt, the other gripping his hair, pushing his head closer to my breasts. Jisung pulled away, smirking at the bite marks he had left on me, before pursing his lips and blowing the softest cold air on them.
I gasped, chest heaving, hips moving erratically over his. One of his hands moved from my ass to trail up the front of my body, fingers grazing the fresh marks. I whimpered as they pressed into the bruised skin, eyes flashing up to meet his.
Words couldn’t be used to describe the look we exchanged. It was overwhelming and all too consuming. Our breaths mingled in the space between us, noses brushing against each other. I came to a startling reality that I would gladly give him anything, but more importantly, I wanted him. I wanted to see this man again after tonight, and the night after. I wanted to be a part of him.
“I want you, Jack Frost.”
It was Jisung’s turn to whimper, his eyes looking so absolutely soft. He leaned towards me, lips meeting mine in a slow dance. Our tongues dragged against the other, licking into each others mouths lazily. Jisung moved us to side to lay me under him on the bed. Him coming to rest flush against me, legs caging his waist. His hard length rutted against my core, both us hissing from the contact.
“I want you, Sweetness,” his eyes holding a question as his fingers fiddled with the ends of my top. I nodded my head, fingers moving to pull the top over my head before he even had the opportunity. Hands not having dropped yet, are suddenly pinned above my head, top tangled in my hands. Jisung wraps his lips around one of my erect nipples, teeth scraping and sucking harshly.
He switched to the other side, giving it the same abuse until he was satisfied. Lifting his head to gaze at the red, swollen buds, the bites of his teeth indented in the skin. He blew his soft icy air at them, a breathy sigh escaping me from the contrast of temperatures happening on my body.
The slickness of the my underwear had to be evident as Jisung continued to press and grind his hips into me. His fingers and lips moved down my body, teeth needing to bite and leave a mark as me made his way down my stomach to my bunched up skirt. Jisung begins to tug my skirt down my legs, lifting off the bed so that was standing before me. He held my socked feet, lifting them up to his face to place a kiss on the clothed toes.
I tried jerking them back, laughing at the tickle of cool air on them, but he held on tighter.
“Sweetness, the way you were dressed today took my breath away and I already wanted you, but when I saw these socks, I knew I was going to have you. I think I’m wrapped around your finger, is that possible?”
I wiggled my toes at him, arching one of my feet to touch at his chest and push at him.
“Yes… I’m wrapped around yours,” Jisung placed a final kiss to the arch of my foot, sliding fingers under the fabric to pull it off. He did the same with the other foot, before holding them together to kiss each toes, teeth taking small nips at them. I pouted at the black shirt still on him, dying to have a feel of his skin.
I trail a foot down, going under his shirt to touch the hard planes of his stomach. He hisses as my toes make contact with his skin before he is shucking his shirt of his body. The honey skin fills my vision, my mouth and cunt watering at the sight. His chest heaved as he stared down at me, eyes still icy blue but dark with desire.
His hands go to the button of his slacks, pushing them down until he’s left in dark blue boxers. Jisung spreads my legs, pushing them up body as he blows cool air on my covered cunt, the fabric doing nothing to hide the constant flow of arousal dripping out of me. He leaned the last inch forward, biting at my folds, tongue laving the clothed folds.
I whine, hands moving down to my tits, pulling roughly at my bitten nipples. Jisung continued to suck and bite at my slit, hands moving to tug me closer, as if he’s trying to suffocate himself. I almost wail when his fingers begin to slide the wet fabric down all while he blew soft cool air.
He dives back in, tongue trailing up from my puckered hole to my cunt, trying to catch as much of my essence as he could. He leans back and spits at my clit, drawing a whine from me at the filthy display.
“Sweetness was the perfect name, you taste so good, best fucking pussy,” he slurred against me, eyes hooded as he looked at me. I was up, leaning back on my elbows to watch him, bottom lip caught between my teeth. I slide my hand down, fingers touching at my clit as he continues to suck on me, his tongue grazing the tips of my nails. “So fucking wet, precious, you’re dripping.”
“Only for you, Mr. Frost,” he brings my fingers into his mouth, biting down on them. The icy blue intensified and the room grew even colder as he fingers teased at my entrance, his other hand gripping tightly at the inside of my thigh.
“Ask me for it, ________.”
The roughness of his voice had my pussy clenching, my hole desperate for him to fill it. I moved my hips, a pout painting itself on my face.
“Please Jisung-“ the words barely left before his finger is inside, curling and beginning a steady rhythm. The squelching noise was obscene as I threw my head back, toes curling from the pleasure. “Yes, baby, don’t stop, more, Ji, more!”
A second finger was soon add, the pumping in side of me increased, leaving me panting and desperate. My hips move on their own accord, meeting his pumping fingers thrust for thrust.
“More, Sweetness? You can take can’t you? Such a good girl, shitting on Sir Rightfellow huh?” I whimper, hole clenching tightly around his fingers causing him to release a hiss as he went harder. “Fuck Sweets, you were just begging for me, huh? Needed some ice in you?”
Each question is asked with a forceful thrust of his fingers, leaving me weak and seeing snowflakes in my vision.
“Oh- yes, Sungie, harder,” I gasped as it felt like the temperature of his fingers changed, the coldness against my heated walls almost bringing me to the edge. My head went to the side, the pleasure of it all becoming too much and for a moment my eyes grazed the picture that lay on the floor forgotten. A thought suddenly passing through me as Jisung continued his assault, his mouth having joined his fingers. His tongue slurping messily, teeth continuing to nip any bit of skin he could.
“W-wait, Ji-“ Jisung immediately pulled his head away, fingers halting as his eyes flashed to mine, concern evident.
“What’s wrong?”
“If Chan was here tonight, how did he deliver presents?”
Jisung huffed, his head falling back. “There’s no way you’re fucking asking me about that now?” Jisung continued to pump his fingers lazily, mouth reattaching itself to my slick folds. I gasped, his tongue ice cold as he lapped at me.
“But I’m serious! Australia is like hours- wait… OH!” A strong suck and teeth biting my clit has me pausing, the air from lungs taken all at once. “Timezones duh! But still, ah- fuck- it doesn’t make sense!”
I shrieked as Jisung bit roughly at my inner thigh, fingers curling and beginning a punishing speed inside of me.
“Sweets, please, stop talking about him.”
“I’m s-sorry, Ji, I have- OH FUCK ME!” I yelp, my thighs clamping around his head as he suddenly shoved his tongue inside my aching hole. My vision goes black as I yelled out his name. Jisung continues his never-ending assault, lapping furiously at me to make sure he didn’t miss a drop. He was whining, hands shoving me closer to him, gripping tightly his knuckles turned white.
My body continued to shake as Jisung kissed up my body, admiring the littered teeth marks he left on me body. My eyes opened, meeting his, shock running through me at his wet face. My mouth dropped open, hand coming up to cover my mouth.
“Did I..?”
Jisung swipes a hand over his face, bringing his wet fingers to his mouth to suck on them. His other hand trails down his own body, jerking his covered dick. His gaze is dark as he slips his hand inside, pumping his length as he looked at me.
“Yes, you did, sweets, squirted all over me, fucking hot as fuck,” Jisung whines, climbing over me after he shoved his boxers down his legs, yanking his own socks off. “I need to have you now, baby, please?”
Jisung came to hover over me, his hands coming to rest on either sides of my body, blue hair tickling my forehead as he leaned down to ghost his lips over mine.
I sucked in a breath, hands running up his chest, scratching at his skin, desperate to leave me own mark. I bite his bottom lip, tugging at it roughly, sucking it into my mouth. His hard erection bumped against my folds, leaving us to whine and pant into each others mouths.
“Please fuck me, Mr. Frost.”
Jisung shivers above, kissing me softly before lifting off of me to reach inside of the nightstand. I lock my ankles around his waist, arms circling around his neck to bring his attention back to me. Eyebrows furrowed, I shook my head at Jisung, my hand reaching down to grab his dick. My fist jerked him up and down, enjoying the way his mouth fell open, bottom lip jutting out completely.
“I said, fuck me, Jisung,” his hand met mine, circling around my fist, nudging his tip against my clit, the wetness easily allowing him to slide against me. Jisung nudged my hand away, fingers interlocking with mine as he brought them above my head. He pushed his hips forward, grinding against me until the tip of his length caught my sopping area.
Jisung quickly sank in, both moaning loudly at the connection. I could feel my eyes begin to water, Jisung’s head dropping in the crook of my neck, teething at the area. Our hips moved in tandem, Jisung taking deep, slow thrusts, making me feel every inch of his dick inside of me. I clenched around him, eyes nearly rolling back at the tight feel and causing Jisung to bite even harder.
I feel barely coherent as I try to meet his hips, thrust for thrust, hand still clutched in his. I turned my head, lifting up to suck on the skin of the arm holding my hand down. Jisung’s hips stuttered against me, head lifting from my neck as I bite at his arm, tongue coming out to lave at the skin, soothing the redness around the teeth marks. A string of spit connecting me to his arm had him rutting into me harshly, his hands now moving to stretch my legs to the side, pinning my hips down.
I cry out, hands grabbing onto his biceps for support as he thrusted into me wildly. It was like as someone was gliding an ice cube inside me before the temperature returned to normal, Jisung a groaning, whimpering mess above me, mouth open as the icy blue of his eyes doubled, almost making them white. I gasped as his body seemed to go back and forth from being warm to cold, as if he wasn’t able to control his supernatural abilities.
“Let go for me, Frost, l-let me see you,” Jisung’s eyes found mine, a vulnerability in them that left me shook to my core. I smiled softly at him, my eyes still watery from the pleasure. Jisung’s mouth opened, most likely to argue, but I placed a finger over them, shaking my head, eyes imploring him. “Please?”
Jisung eyes remained the same, except he continued his deep thrusting, eyes not leaving mine as his body became cold, the length inside of me feeling like an icicle. His skin unable to cool the fire burning in me as I raked my hand through his blue locks, pulling him down so our lips met. Tongues sliding into each others mouth, teeth trying to nip, sucking when we could, spit dripping from our mouths.
The air around us seemed to fill with snowflakes and yet everywhere he touched me burned. The burn of his hand against my stomach, pushing in to feel the burning of his length inside me.
“You’re so good to me, sweets, aren’t you?” Jisung cooed at me, lips moving towards down to my chest. He teethes at my nipples again, fingers pinching where he couldn’t bite. “Letting me fuck this pretty pussy, you were begging to be fucked by Jack Frost, weren’t you baby?”
“Ahh, yes- nugh, wanted you from the second I s-saw- ohhh fuck, Ji, I- I’m close,” I whimpered my head digging into the soft mattress under me. Jisung’s eyebrows were pinched together, his lips bruised, but blue? The color matching his hair.
“You’re close, sweets?” he pouted at me, he pumped harder, his breathing ragged. “Wanna cum with you, baby, hmm? You wanna cum with me, don’t you?” I’m nodding my head, his fingers holding my neck in a light pressure. I would want to do anything with him if it meant we’d come back together like this. That I would see him again.
“Please, Ji, please, please.”
“That’s it, baby, cum with me, do it.”
The burst of white around us became so intense, I felt myself go limp, eyes rolling back as Jisung continued to pump into me through the orgasm. I couldn’t even say if any noises left me as I felt myself succumbing to the pleasure, the ice inside of me creating a deep fire within me, bursting out of me. Without a second of peace, I could feel the explosion of Jisung’s orgasm, the icy full feeling causing another wave to crash over me, clenching around him tightly to milk everything out of him.
Jisung groaned deeply above, hips driving it to me as we rode our pleasure together. The wild sounds coming from his lips fall muffled to my ears, still ringing as I struggled to come down from the high. I could vaguely feel Jisung slowly slip from me, hand coming to touch my swollen center, fingers slipping in my drenched hole to push our shared cum back inside of me. He settled next to me, fingers still inside me, but wrapping his free arm around my waist to bring me closer to him.
“You did so good, sweets, so good for me,” Jisung noses at my ear, whispering praises into my ear to bring me back to him. The hand not in me, caressing my skin, the coolness of his touch grounding me. I hummed, turning my head into his chest, hands tracing his chest and stomach.
“I’ll be good for you, Jisung,” I murmured into his cold skin, a small smile gracing my face when I felt his lips touch my forehead. A nice blanket of exhaustion washes over me, my body immediately relaxing despite the coldness of the room. I remembered whining when he finally took his fingers from me, body lifting from the bed, taking the comforting cold with him.
I was on the depths of sleep when I could feel something warm and slightly rough wipe gently at the wetness in between my legs, before was that lotion on my legs? I blinked up lazily, moving to try and sit up as I watched him apply lotion to my legs so carefully, hands kneading at my thighs and calves.
“Sungie…”
His eyes flashed to me holding so much affection, so soft that I wanted to cry. He leaned his head down, bringing his lips to the inside of my knee as he finished the last of the lotion, but continuing to rub his hands on my skin.
“Sweets, I think I’ll have to keep you.”
It was quiet for a beat, the weight of his words settling. I watched as Jisung almost shrunk into himself, as if his confession would cause me to run away screaming. I furrowed my brows at him, his eyes stuck to my legs, lips barely moving from where they rested on my skin. I sit up, hands grasping at his arms to pull him towards me, pushing him down to lay down on the bed, head nestled against the pillows. He watched me with an unreadable gaze, yet his body pliant to every touch I made. I pulled the blanket from under us, making sure it covered us both completely.
“Keep me then.”
Falling asleep with Jisung felt familiar and strange. The coldness should’ve bothered me, the coolness of skin should have alarmed me, but I only felt peace as I slipped away, eyes closing. If only I had noticed him watching me, noticed the way he went into himself again, maybe I could’ve prevented it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I gasped awake, the heat of the room becoming increasingly more uncomfortable as I stumbled from my bed. I rushed towards the kitchen, opening the freezer to grab an ice pack, moaning as it touched my skin. My eyes watering wondering when I wouldn’t feel the desire to do this anymore, but truthfully never wanting the cold to leave, wanting it to stay permanently engrained to my skin.
It had been days since Christmas, four days actually since I woke up back in my room, alone and hot. I hate it. I missed him, desperate to see him again, but it appeared as though it was a dream. The club seemed to have vanished, no search engine finding the magical winter club. My one and only attempt to ask Damian had me blanching, it was as if his memory was erased, the only thing he could tell me was that he had one of the best night’s sleeps he’s ever had.
I stood in my bathroom, naked in front of the mirror as I dragged my fingers down my body, tracing over every teeth mark and bruise left over. The largest marks being on my breasts, nipples still raw, begging for the same abuse. I could feel him still on my body, feel him come inside of me, the ice cold sensation something I will never be able to forget.
Each passing day brought me closer to insanity, the overwhelming need to be surrounded and engulfed by coldness becoming too much. Damian had murmured his concerns before he was set to leave to spend a few days at his, let’s refer to him as his special friend, who had returned home the day before from visiting their own family. Damian had said it was too early to spend holidays together which left me rolling my eyes.
“Are you sure you’re gonna be good?” He eyed my from the door as he finished shrugging his jacket on. I was wearing a large hoodie over my pajamas, feet covered in my new pair of Jack Frost socks, an impulse buy from two days prior that I even spent for same day shipping. I had successfully hid every mark from Damian, thankful I lived on the top floor of our home, free to dress how I wanted and needed to. I had just pulled an ice pack from the freezer, placing it behind my neck as I turned to wave him off.
“I promise, I’ll be okay, I think I just might be coming down with something,” I shrugged and threw myself on the couch, turning the television on to put the Jack Frost movie on. I heard Damian groan from behind, most likely tired of watching this movie as I’ve replayed it about 15 times in the last 3 days.
“Uh huh.. well I’ll be back after New Years, call me if you need me okay?” His gaze was worried, but he shot me a soft smile that I returned.
“I will, have fun! Tell Tris I said hi!” He calls out a last goodbye as he shuts the door to our townhouse, locking it behind him. The smile on my face drops as I turn back to the movie, ice pack falling onto my lap as I stared blankly. I pull the large hoodie off my body, gasping finally once the heat left my body, dying to feel cold. I had opted to wearing a Christmas themed pajamas set, a tank top with a snowflake in the middle and shorts littered with them. Each day my clothing had become more revealing, trying to find the cold again. Damian had refused to let me put the AC on, stating that even if it wasn’t super cold outside, he wouldn’t allow me to turn the house into a freezer.
It wasn’t until the movie was almost done that I realized I was crying. The bottom lip quivering as I watch Jack blow the cold air over Elisa’s bouquet. A loud sob bursts forth before I can stop it and I am suddenly overwhelmed by the onslaught of emotions. Was I sick? How could I feel so much for a stranger in just a night? Why did it have to be him?
I longed to regret that night, to forget it the way Damian could. Erase it from my memory just as the club seemed to have vanished into thin air. I could try and hate it, hate every second of that night. Of him. Of how he made me feel, how he touched me. But nothing could take away the way he looked at me. A look full of longing and hope, as if he finally found what he was looking for.
I sank down off the couch, bringing the ice pack up to my face as I continued to cry. The coldness of the pack numbing the burning of my face. My chest heaves for air as I curled up into a ball, laying on my side. My eyes shut, my body shaking as I let myself finish releasing my emotions. I felt empty and more alone than ever, fingers tightening their grip around the ice pack, holding it against my chest now.
I close my eyes, no longer caring if I finish the movie. The carpet rough on my cheek as I sniffed and brought a fist to wipe my tears.
“Fuck you, Jisung, for making me cry,” I pout and toss the ice pack away from me. I sat up, bringing my knees up to my chest, looking off to the side at the window. I laid my head against my knees, arms wrapping around my legs.
“I miss you, Mr. Frost,” pout becoming more prominent, I shut my eyes, tired of seeing windows without fresh frost on them. The ending song of the movie begins to play when I notice that the temperature of the room seemed to drop. For the first time in days, I shivered, the cold nipping at my nose, causing me to blink my eyes open in confusion.
Icy blue orbs met mine, full of guilt, sadness, and desperation. My mouth fell open, eyes unable to stay put long enough on just one part of his handsome face. His blue hair framing his honey skin that seemed to have bits of frost decorating him so beautifully, so perfectly. Fuck him.
“I missed you too, sweets,” I don’t respond, don’t move, just continue to stare. I can feel my chest begin to heave as I become desperate for air, the frostiness around us somehow providing the comfort I had been desperately seeking for days. Jisung slowly brought his hand to my cheek, eyes full of sadness, blue lips parting as he could see the dried tear streaks. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”
“You left me.”
“I know.”
“You said you would keep me.”
“I.. I know, sweets.”
Jisung hung his head, hand still holding my cheek. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, moving my legs out of the circle of my arms, crossing them as I crossed my arms in front of me.
“Well?”
“I-“ Jisung audibly gulped and shifted from his crouched position, sinking to the floor to mirror me. “I talked to Chan-“
“Santa!” The glower immediately became present, his eyes narrowing at me. I raised an eyebrow at him and he quickly schooled his reaction, sending me a sheepish smile, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck.
“Yea.. Santa.. well I talked to him.. well about you and it’s just-“ Jisung cleared his throat, fingers raking through the blue locks holding onto them. “It’s not often that we meet people and the Man on the Moon can be really particular and Mother Nature can’t always sway him sometimes, he can be a bitch sometimes- Wait, no!” His head shot towards the window, eyes wide as if the Man on the Moon was going to storm in the room. “I mean I’m extremely grateful to him because I wouldn’t be me, Jack Frost, if it weren't for him, but, it’s a lot. Being what we are, what I am. I thought it was just the heat of the moment-“ I snorted causing Jisung to pause.
“I don’t remember there being much heat, but okay,” he chuckles now, the hand he had on my cheek moving down my arm. Jisung turns to me again, eyes full of hope and affection.
“You know what I mean, I just- got in my head, but truthfully, Sweets, I missed you. So so much and I’m also just Jisung and your just _______ and I really, really just want to be with you.. I’m sorry I had left you for so long, I shouldn’t have.”
I continued to stare at him, trying so hard to not give any emotions away as he finished. The pit of hope blooming inside of me, he came back for me, he does want me. He was a stranger, he doesn’t know me and I only know Jack Frost, not Jisung. It would be ridiculous to begin anything with him. Insane even.
“Are you going to leave me again?”
Jisung immediately shook his head, hands grasping at mine, bringing them up to his lips. I couldn’t contain the shiver once his cold lips grazed my knuckles, easing the heat that I’ve grown to hate.
“No, I won’t.”
I stared at him for a moment before pulling my hands from his grasp and standing to my feet, walking around him.
“Can’t believe you stopped holding my hand,” I grumble, stopping towards the kitchen to pour a glass of water.
“Sweets, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to,” Jisung follows me pouting, the cloud of frost following him, falling into my cup as he crowds into my space. “I would’ve kept my fingers inside of your tight pussy forever if you’d let me.”
I gasp, slapping his chest. “Jisung!”
“What?” He laughed, smile bright as I leaned into him not realizing, taking a sip of my water as I roll my eyes at him. “But I promise you, Sweets, I mean it, I want you.”
His hands rests on my hips as I keep my gaze focused on my water.
“Are you asking me to be your Suzy Snowflake?” Jisung snorted, forehead coming to rest on mine. He grabbed the glass from my hand, placing it behind me on the counter. His hand returns to my hip, sliding it to my lower back to pull me flush against him.
“You think Suzy holds a candle to you?” I blush, hands coming to rest on his chest, taking in his outfit for the first time. A black suit, with a black button up and tie. Fuck did he look so good. I was ready to forgive him completely. His feet were in just socks, even if invisible to anyone else, still took his shoes off at the door. I bite my lip, fingers going to his tie as his hand on my lower back went further down, resting on my ass, squeezing. “Sweets, you’ve ruined me completely, don’t you know that?”
I stretch up on my toes, lips just barely grazing his before I pulled away. A million questions bubbling in my mind. Hold on now.
“Wait, how did you know where I live?” Jisung blushes now, a shy pouty look on his face. I tilt my head to the side, raising an eyebrow as he mumbled so slow I couldn’t hear. “Jisung, how?”
He drops his head on my shoulder, leaning his weight against me, pushing me into the counter.
“Chan and Felix told me, they thought it would be creepy if I showed up like this, but you don’t think it’s creepy right? I’m not creepy?” His eyes go wide, huge boba looking orbs as he puffs his cheeks. My hands tighten their hold on his tie.
Fuck me.
“No, baby you aren’t creepy,” Jisung melted into me, wrapping his arms completely around me now to lift me off my feet. The crisp coldness washes over me and I grip onto his shoulders, savoring it. Jisung’s lips touch my neck dragging a shiver out of me as he starts to nibble. “Who’s Felix?”
Jisung groans, not moving from my neck, but rather taking a rough bite. I yelp, hand trailing up to his hair to scratch his scalp. “Jisung, be nice to me! I know Santa now.”
A hand quickly swats at my ass, pulling a shriek from me as Jisung hauls me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. Jisung snorts as I pout at him, his hand rubbing where he hit.
“Don’t be a brat.”
“I just wanna know your friends, baby,” I jut my lip further out at him as he leads us back towards the living room. He sits down on the couch, making sure I am settled comfortably on his lap. His hands rubbing at my bare thighs, goosebumps raising all over. Cold surrounding us completely, he stares at me, eyes intense.
“I like your socks.”
My eyes widen in surprise before giggling as I glance down to where his fingers reach out to graze them.
“I bought them for you.”
He doesn’t respond, but a smile grows on his face, proud and shy. He pinches at my heel, tightening the hand on my thigh when I giggle again, face falling into the crook of his neck. It’s quiet for a moment, frost settling around us before I raise up again, grinning sheepishly.
“So.. who’s Felix?” Jisung barks out a laughter, eyebrows furrowing as he fake glares at me.
“You should only care about me! Don’t ask about them, why do you need to know? Are you trying to get with them?”
He crosses his arms and I chuckle, wrapping my arms around his neck to press kisses around his face, the last one a gentle touch to his lips. Jisung whimpers under me, wrapping an arm around my waist, the other hand moving down to my ass. We press closer together, mouths opening to for our tongues to meeting.
We moan in sync, the cold touch of his tongue erasing the mountain of loneliness that I had felt for days. It felt so right, every inch of my body covered in frost, as we pulled each other closer, his teeth biting at my mouth. With one last nip on my bottom lip, we separate, a string of spit connecting our lips. His thumb swipes at it, sucking on his appendage for our shared liquid. I shiver in his lap, my hands cradling his cheeks, thumb swiping over them.
“You’re so silly, Mr. Frost, I thought it was obvious I only want you,” Jisung blushes, hands falling to my hips, rubbing circles in time with the strokes I made on his cheeks.
“I only want you too,” I giggle, rubbing my noses on his. “And to answer your question, Felix is…” Jisung trails off, looking to the side with a pout. “The Tooth Fairy.”
“The Tooth Fairy!” I jump in his lap, hands falling on his shoulders as I stare at him wonder. Jisung hisses, his hands clenching them on my thighs as I wiggled on top of him. “I can’t believe you know the Tooth Fairy, you’re so cool,” Jisung smirks at me as he shrugs, doing his best to appear nonchalant, but the tips of ears turning red gives him away. His hands knead my ass, pulling me flush against him.
“I mean, it is pretty cool. We have the club as a way for us to convene-“
“Hey, wait- I’m sorry to interrupt, but speaking of the club! Where the fuck did it go?”
He winces, nodding his head in understanding. “Okay yea, that’s my bad, I totally spaced on this,” he runs a hand down my arm to grasp at my hand and pull it up to his lips, taking his time to lightly bite the pads of my fingers as he continued to explain. “It’s magic. I wasn’t lying when I said we stay open during the holiday for people that don’t have anyone to share it with. It also serves as our home, you saw my space, we each have our own. And again a place for us to hold meetings. So then when it’s not a holiday, the club turns invisible to the mundane eye. Mother Nature says it’s for our protection.”
There’s a shortness to my breath now as I did my best to concentrate on his words, nodding my head in understanding. The fire inside of me grew, watching as he murmurs against my fingers, content, eyes meeting mine as he stops at my thumb. Our breaths growing heavy, the hand he kept on my ass trailing up my back to rest on the nape of my neck, bringing me closer to him. Every exhale he made sent the soft frosty air into my mouth, leaving me salivating and wanting. My eyes drooped, trying to focus on the conversation at hand, but struggling the longer he continues to look at me.
“I have a lot of questions, Ji-“ he nodded his head, mouth opening to probably assure me that he’d answer everyone of them. I press my thumb, still grazing his bottom lip, to firmly stop him before he could say anything. “But we’ll have time for that later.”
I ease off his lap, sinking into the space between his legs, resting on my knees, hands rubbing up and down his body. Jisung’s breathing grows ragged, icy blues eyes intensifying as my fingers met the button and zipper of his slacks.
“I want you, Mr. Frost.”
“You already do, Sweetness,” his voice his rough, as I undo his pants, sliding the zipper down slowly. He leans forward shrugging his suit jacket off, the black button up straining on his shoulder and chest, bulging around the muscles of his biceps.
“I meant to tell you I love your suit.”
“Yea, baby?” He lifts his hips to help me pull his pants further down, bringing his boxers down with them. His dick springs forth, already hard and leaking from his tip. I mock gasp at him, thumb rubbing the pre-cum leaking out of him. He whines as I take him in my fists, tongue taking a kitten lick from the tip. I moaned as the coldness touched my tongue, the icicle length stinging as I pumped him, flicking my wrist every so often.
I wrapped my lips around him further, tongue laving at the underside of his hard length. I take him deeper, leaving him a moaning mess above, his head back against the couch cushions, eyes screwed shut and the cutest pout on his lips. The absolute fucked out expression spurs me on as I lift up, popping him out of my mouth to spit on him before taking him again, mouth freezing as my nose brushing against the skin of his pubic bone.
Every noise he releases goes straight to my pussy, aching hole leaking and clenching around nothing. I knew my shorts and panties were ruined at this point, the wetness dripping, soaking me completely through. The hand I had kept on his thigh for support, trails down to my center, gargling around him as my fingers tickle my covered clit.
He shouts a curse, a hand pulling my hair from my face to watch me take him in my mouth. I move my hand from around him, placing it on top of the hand on my head, encouraging him. He takes the opportunity, guiding my head up and down on his icicle, holding me down. My mouth hangs open, tongue out as he begins to thrust into my mouth, whimpering each time the tip of his dick touches the back of my throat.
“Sweets, oh fuck, Sweets, so good, baby, such a good baby,” Jisung’s voice is rough, his breathing puffing clouds of frost. “Sweets, I’m gonna cum,” Jisung’s hips stutter, gagging me as spit drools from my mouth onto his dick. “I don’t wanna cum in your mouth.”
Jisung pulls me from him, lifting me to my feet, hands going to the hem of my tank, mine going to the buttons of his shirt, but I’m unable to even get one of the buttons from his rushed pace. He lifts my shirt over my head to the side, hands moving next to my shorts and underwear, hissing when he sees the mess I made. His eyes trail further down until they see my socks, drawing a laugh from me as he looks at me, begging.
“You don’t know what you do to me, baby, we’re keeping those on,” Jisung doesn’t wait to get undressed himself, dragging me onto his lap, legs going on either side of him. He rucks his shirt up just enough to see where we will be connected.
“I need you, Sweets, I shouldn’t have left you, I’m so sorry,” Jisung hands are hurried, one gripping my ass, the other going to his dick, swiping it against my drenched holes. I slowly sink down onto him, the cold dragging a silent moan from me, mouth falling open as I welcomed him back inside. My arms wrap around his shoulders, nose at his temple as he begins to move my hips up and down his length. “I’m gonna make it up to you, I promise.” He punctuates his words with a rough thrust into me.
“Oh, Ji,” I move down, lips going to the underside of his jaw, sucking at his skin. I circle my hips, swiveling a figure eight, sinking deeper down on his length, satisfied by the fullness of him. His brings a hand forward, cold fingers slipping on my clit. I shriek, squeezing around his dick, drawing more curses from him.
Each grind of his length taking me higher, mind going numb, the cold all-consuming. Jisung’s head lifted, eyes glazing over as he looked at the marks still on my body, before they darkened, head dipping down to make them fresh.
I groan as his teeth start their own mission to mark my body. Jisung took away the dark cloud that had developed over me since he left. A rational part of my brain wants to slap myself for becoming so attached to this stranger, but as he pulls away, a small smile on his face, fingers running over the swells of my tits, teeth marks prominent once again, I ignored that thought.
Each glide caused the frost to grow, breaths mingling once more as we continued our slow and sensual connection. We held each others gazes, mouths open and touching, his fingers returning to my clit as he drew circles once more. Jisung’s suddenly moves his hands to grip under my thighs, keeping us connected and moving me to lay my back on the couch with him hovering above me. He watches in fascination, my tits jiggling with as he starts his pumping into me again.
“I have so much to make up for, never having you gone from my side again, fuck you were made for me,” Jisung emphasizes his point, fingers pinching my nipples and pulling them, smirking as I wailed from pleasure, eyes watering from the intensity. Grinding his hips roughly after a harsh thrust, as if he was trying to sear us together. My hands grasp onto his clothed biceps, frustrated I couldn’t feel the complete chill of his skin. “Should’ve never let my Sweetness alone for so long, what was I thinking, wasn’t nice of me at all, huh?”
I shake my head at him, tears of pleasure leaking from eyes and cunt, drenching my face, his thighs and lower abdomen. Jisung groans, fingers going to pinch and rub at my clit rapidly, the noticeable fluttering and tightening of my hole egging him on to pull my orgasm out.
I cry out his name, my vision blurring as the first wave hits me, washing over me, leaving me shaking as he continues to thrust inside of me, his own orgasm rearing its head. Jisung grunts, leaning down to touch our foreheads together, hand slipping up around my neck. The air he releases is freezing now, flurries of frost hitting us as he drills into me, hips jerking sloppily. My mouth falls open, tongue out which Jisung takes the opportunity to lewdly spit inside, whimpering seeing me swallow it. Everything about him was cold to touch and leaving me yearning for more.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Sweets, you want it?” I nod my head, lifting the hand around my neck to my lips, sucking his fingers into my mouth, teething at them. Jisung’s other hand is holding on the crook of neck, thumb pressing into my collarbone as he pummels into me. I had long already felt the second orgasm rushing ahead, ready to be released. “Of course you do, my dirty Sweetness, gonna take it all,” Jisung releases a wild groan, hunching forward his length releases a fountain inside of me, triggering my second release.
The ice cold sensation overpowers me once again, eyes falling closed as he caresses me through it, taking me back to early Christmas morning. The care he had taken towards me, his gentle touch that had rubbed lotion into my legs, that had continued the same treatment after the several other rounds we had completed that night. I run my hand through his hair, his head buried in my neck as we both came down. I turned my head to the side, pressing my lips firmly to his temple.
Jisung slips out of me slowly, wincing at the grimace on my face, fingers taking their place inside, pushing his cum back inside of me. He grabs my shirt from the floor, wiping at his dick first so he can watch his fingers pump out of me. The cold doesn’t dissipate, etching itself inside of me. He pulls away to clean me and then his fingers.
“My shirt,” I pout, causing him to lean over to press a kiss against mine. He’s lifting me from the couch, wrapping my legs around his waist again, my hands holding onto his shoulders.
“I’ll you another pajama set, one with my face on it, now where’s your room,” I grumble at him, pointing towards the staircase to the second floor. “I’ve got days to make up for, Sweetness.”
He begins the trek up the stairs, his pants still undone, half hard dick still hanging out. I couldn’t help, but grind my lower half against his stomach, biting my lip as the wetness transferred onto him. He about trips on the last step, hand flying out to catch us.
“You know how you can make it up to me?” He whines as I nibble on his earlobe.
“Tell me, Sweets, whatever you want.”
I grin devilishly, tongue laving at the skin below his ears. My bedroom door is open, neon lights glowing blue, the air dropping as soon as he steps us in.
“You really want to make it up to me, baby?” I whisper to him, pulling away to rub my thumb on his blue lips. He’s nodding his head, mouth opening to suck on my thumb, teeth scraping against it. He’s in front of the bed now, strong arms tightening as I kept my slow grind against his stomach.
“Anything, Sweets, please.”
I hold the smirk in now that he’s looking at my face, keeping my face open, eyes begging at him now. His icy blues intense, full of desire and affection, mouth still sucking on my finger.
“I want-“ he nods his head, encouraging me to continue. “I want to meet ALL your friends.”
Jisung stills, even the frost in the room as he stares at me. Before he drops me on the bed, causing me to bounce and catch myself before I fell off. He scoffs and glares at me, taking off his clothing as the temperature drops even more.
“You’re annoying,” I burst out laughing, falling to the side as I watched him undress, glaring and grumbling. He turns me on my stomach, swatting at my ass I continued to giggle, gasping in mock offense.
“Hey! What did I say, you have to be nice to me! Or else!”
He slaps my ass even harder this time, body coming over mine, head coming next to mine.
“You really think you’re on the nice list?” Jisung snorts above, the hand that slapped my ass now gripping it harshly. “Maybe I should tell Chan what a bad girl you actually are,” he ruts his bare dick against my ass, his hard length drawing a moan from, the icicle a rod of searing pleasure. I lifted my hips, grinding up into him, hushed moans passing through my lips. “Maybe, I’ll even tell Jeongin, you know close we are to New Years, you wanna fuck that up for yourself, hmm?”
I gasp as his hand falls roughly on my ass again, his other fisting at the strands of my hair, pulling my head back so he can bite at my neck.
“You-“ I heaved in frosty air, eyes nearly rolling back as he straddled my hips, keeping my legs together, before sinking into me from behind, groaning at the tightness of it. I cry out as he begins a punching speed, thrusting into me with abandon. “Y-you know Baby New Year!?”
“You’ve got to be fucking-“ Jisung growls in my ear, arm coming to wrap my neck, putting me a chokehold, not enough to hurt me, but to pull me up to my knees, back flushed with his chest. His thrusting never ceasing. “Such a fucking brat.”
“‘M your brat.”
“Yea, Sweetness,” he lips gentle as they touched my cheek, his free hand tweaking my bitten nipples. “You’re my brat forever, you got that?”
“Yes, Mr. Frost.”
The night passed in a blur, the cold filled pleasure knocking me down, leaving me weak to it, desiring for him and frost no matter how many times he filled me. I struggled to sleep, scared of what would happen in the morning. If he would still be there when I woke up or would I be met with heat. With a burning fire that would consume me and I’d be left roaming the Earth, seeking to be cold once again.
I wasn’t sure when I finally did end up closing my eyes, Jisung having wrapped me in his cold arms, thin blanket resting over us. His fingers trailing over every mark, new and old ones that he made fresh again. He had spent a significant amount of time rubbing oil into my ass, the teeth marks having been so deep, he remarked I could get them tattooed.
For the past 4 days, I awoke gasping and sweaty, sensual dreams becoming nightmares. The heat of my room forcing me to either take cold showers or an ice pack to rub on my skin. This morning however, it was only one thing, which caused my lips to tilt up as I snuggled in further, the coolness of it lulling me back to sleep, content knowing it would stay with me forever.
The frosty air of Jack Frost nipping at my nose.
~~~~~~~~~~
Happy Holidays! I hope everyone had a wonderful time doing whatever it is you do and thank you for taking the time to read. XOXOXOXOOXO
I want to make it clear that I do not condone plagiarism in any form. All of the work I create is original. Please do not copy or reproduce my work without proper permission or attribution.
#han jisung#stray kids#han jisung fanfic#han jisung x reader#jisung x reader#stray kids fanfic#han jisung smut#merry christmas
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Delicate (Jake's Version)
23 - Jake's First Navy Cross
Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin x OFC Samantha Kazansky
Rating: Explicit (MDNI!)
Warnings: none really just my brain being crazy and having so much inspiration. The next chapter though is gonna be some wild smut.
A/N: Welcome to my not sick not. I feel sort of normal, no more body aches thank god, but still have a cough. As always likes, comments, and reblogs are super appreciated! We need Jake in his dress blues more often. Hehehe.
Tags: @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @gpsmississippihippie @barnesboo1967 @dizzybee03
The Navy Birthday Ball. Something that Samantha attended every year because it was her father who made the speech and presented awards. She always sat front row with her mother, Mark and Alex. This year was going to be a bit different. She knew they were doing a special dedication to her father. Mark and Alex were not going. Sam was not sitting with her mother. She was sitting with Jake.
Jake did not go every year. In fact, he hadn’t been in the past three years because he’d been deployed on two and the last year he just didn’t want to dress up and go. This year though he was obligated to go. He needed to be there for Sam, and he was getting a Navy Cross Medal.
Jake had seen the doctor earlier in the day and got the okay to have his sling off completely. The physical therapy had been going smoothly. He was still struggling with the actual therapist though. He was decently compliant with Ryker’s questions, but Ryker knew not to pry too much. He'd been through a similar experience. He knew Jake would open up eventually, or he wouldn't heal. Jake needed to heal, if not for himself, for Samantha.
Sam on the other hand...Jake had opened up more to Sam than he intended. And being that vulnerable with her seemed to make the nightmares worse. He had awoken for a week straight, every night, screaming, thrashing, when he didn’t have to. He’d be drenched in sweat, shivering and shaking, and every night Sam was right there, holding onto him as tight as she could, trying her best to calm him. He felt like a fucking child, being held and rocked back to sleep, half the time sobbing into her chest or holding her entirely too tight.
One of those mornings he had woken up four times and Sam with him. When they both looked in the mirror, they had bags under their eyes, and they both looked fucking haggered. Jake pressed a kiss to her neck and wound his arms around her waist, when Sam winced. She glanced down at where his arm was, peeling it from her sticky skin. There was a bruise there. Jake examined it, realizing it could only be from him.
“Fuck, Sam. I’m so...I’m...sorry...sorry...fuck...” He stuttered and Sam immediately took him in her arms. He wanted to collapse on the floor and die, but she wouldn't let him.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I told you to hold me as tight as you needed.” She murmured against his chest. His eyes held so much sorrow, so much worry, and as he blinked rapidly, his jaw working with uncertainty, she couldn’t do much else but be a steady presence. She knew he wouldn’t accept it, but she really was unbothered by the bruise. She had spoken with Margie about when Ryker came home and what that was like. Margie had her fair share of accidental bruises from Ryker whacking her in the middle of the night while he was fighting demons in his sleep. The mind was a powerful thing when it thought it needed to defend itself.
Jake's was fighting for it's fucking life. It didn't need to, but his brain didn't know that. When a wad of squishy, wet, tissue controls the advanced electronics for a suit of meat and muscle made to hunt and kill, there's bound to be some fuckery. Especially when that suit of meat has had some bad experiences.
Jake fully understood that people got captured and tortured when it came to war, but deep down, person to person, he didn't understand how someone could do that and not feel awful about it. He knew they didn't feel bad about what they did to him. The blood on the floor, his broken bones, and the conditions they kept him told him that. His captors were the scum of the earth and Jake might spend the rest of his life trying to figure out why it had been him that ended up there. He knew why, but of all the missions, of all the luck in the world, why did it have to be then and there?
He surmised maybe it had to do with the unbelievable, incredible woman that he came home to. They'd really been put through some hell between Sam losing her father and Jake getting captured. But there was so much good that had come out of it. Jake proposed. That was one thing he never thought he'd do.
Then there were the puppies. Jake had made several new friends and connections with the acquisition of the puppies and they were just another thing that made Sam happy. Or maybe what really made Sam happy was watching Jake learn how to train the puppies and in turn learn a little more about himself in the process. Jake's unfurling of his ego was something that Sam admired to the point that it has changed her mind on having children, though since he'd come home there weren't many instances where they'd gotten the chance to consummate their desires. With his therapy, working with the dogs, beginning to work from his office at the base, Sam's work, and his physical therapy, Jake's libido had taken a hit. Sure, he got pretty damn excited to see Sam but he didn't have an overwhelming need to fuck her every other hour. And in all honesty, Sam was okay with it. She enjoyed the kissing and the touching but she only wanted sex if Jake was feeling up to it and most nights he fell asleep before they could get into it.
Jake had planned the night of the Navy Ball to a T though. They would attend the ball for a few hours, then head home, and Jake was going to take his sweet time with her and make love to her with the intention of going a few rounds. He knew seeing her in a dress would have him riled up anyway. Sam had perfect curves and anytime she wore a dress, the fabric hugged those curves in a way that was so sinful that it left Jake feeling a sudden urge to destroy the beautiful clothing. He never did but the want was there, to rip the fabric from her body and ravage what was underneath. He was sure she would let him do it too.
Jake would be dressed in his finest blues and Sam had picked an evening dress that would have him on his knees later. It was an almost midnight blue, sparkly all over like the night sky, and it had a slit up one thigh. It sat off her one shoulder and most of her upper back was exposed, but she left her hair down and wavy. She picked a set of pretty silver heels that still only brought her just barely eye level with Jake.
“My short queen.” He murmured as he pressed a kiss to the exposed skin of her shoulder from behind. She was standing in the bathroom applying very modest makeup, just eyeliner, and dark blue eye-shadow and a rosy lipstick. She never needed blush because if she stared at Jake long enough, her cheeks would naturally go pink for him. He loved that he had that effect on her. “We should get going.”
She agreed and turned to look at him. “Can't wait to see that Navy Cross on your chest.” She said softly as she stretched up to kiss him. He smirked and brushed his fingers across her cheek, his eyes lingering half lidded on her. He trailed his hand down and picked hers up, the one with her engagement ring on, and pressed a kiss to the back.
“And I can't wait for you to be truly mine, for the rest of our lives.” He said, as he guided her out of the bathroom and into the hallway. He helped her down the stairs, holding her dress up slightly so that she could get down them easier. Maisy and Javy met them at the bottom of the stairs.
“Damn, Sammy. Lookin’ fine.” Javy exclaimed as he pulled Maisy in a little closer. “But not as good as my pretty chica here.”
“That’s a matter of opinion, ‘Yote.” Jake joked and Javy punched him lightly in the arm. “Nah, just kidding. Both of our ladies are gonna be turnin’ heads.”
Jake checked on the dogs one more time, giving them each a soft bone in their crates before shutting the doors. They headed to their trucks and were on the road, ready to make their appearance at the ball in t-minus thirty minutes.
The drive felt short and Sam for whatever reason, was nervous. They met the rest of Dagger Squad outside and everyone was gussied up and gorgeous in their dress blues and formal attire. Nat pulled Sam into a tight hug.
“You’re fucking gorgeous, girl. I would say I wish you were my date, but Bob did ask me first.” She laughed and Sam’s smile reached her eyes and then she looked around for Jake. To her surprise, he was right there, his hands shoved in his pocket, but his eyes admiring her from a few feet away. When she stepped away from Nat, he stepped in and hugged her and then as Bob came up behind her, he shook Jake’s hand.
“Have you seen Rooster yet?” Nat asked, and Jake shook his head.
“Is he here?” Jake stepped away from her and grabbed Sam's hand.
“He’s supposed to be. Callie actually asked him to be her date, but I guess he said no.” Nat said as they all began to head into the hall. They saw Cyclone and Warlock, with their wives, and Maverick was inside already with Penny on his arm, who looked downright stunning in a champagne colored gown. Everyone grabbed drinks first and then made their way to their tables, which were all assigned. Jake took a walk around the table, checking the names at the ten seats. Bob and Nat, Javy and Maisy, Reuben and Mickey who came together as a joke, Sam and himself, and then to his surprise, Rooster and someone named Iris. Maybe Rooster had met someone?
They would find out soon enough. Everyone took their seats, but no Rooster yet. Nat and Sam shared a look as the ceremonies got under way. Cyclone walked up onto the stage and made an opening statement of sorts, talking about how the ball was a time honored tradition every year and that everyone should have fun, but not too much fun, and to be safe. He also made a short statement about Iceman and how much he’s missed by his fellow pilots and colleagues. He presented her mother with a small memorial plaque for his years of service. Sam hadn’t even seen her mother come in. She hadn’t talked to her much either, barely had gone home in the past few months while caring for Jake.
Then Cyclone began another monologue. “As many of you know, being deployed is an honor, but it can also be a curse. You never know if you’ll come home. Your spouse or partner will worry about you the whole time you’re deployed. You never know if a mission is going to go south. When it does, you never know if you’re coming out of it or not. That’s what we sign up for. And we do it for all different reasons, but mostly because we love our country and the freedom we enjoy here.” Cyclone's eyes settle on Jake and he continues. “There are some of us who go above and beyond, displaying valor beyond what is required. And for that, for a sacrifice such as the one that Lieutenant Commander Jacob ‘Hangman’ Seresin made for his fellow pilots, we award medals of honor. Jake, please step forward.”
Jake stood, his heart pounding in his chest. There was roaring applause and he leaned down to kiss Sam before he headed up to the stage. Warlock and a few other higher up officers stood on the stage, holding their hands out for Jake to shake. When he stepped over to Cyclone, he shook his hand, and then Cyclone pinned the Navy Cross on his jacket just above his other mini service medals.
“I present this Navy Cross Medal to Lieutenant Commander Jacob Seresin, for his extraordinary heroism and valor in air combat to save his fellow pilots. Without his sacrifice, the mission outcome would’ve looked much different. We thank you for your service, Jacob.” Cyclone said as the photographer snapped some pictures. Jake thanked him and headed back to his seat. Sam kissed him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, giving him a perfect view of her perfect breasts nearly spilling from her dress.
“My handsome and brave pilot.” She said, her lips brushing against the shell of his ear. It sent a shiver down his spine and he glanced around at the rest of the table. No one was paying any attention as their dinner had arrived in front of them. They were chatting and laughing and all Jake could think of was how fucking beautiful Sam looked in her dress. He thought he might be a little more excited to have his medal, but maybe he was just comfortable without his sling again. Jake leaned over as their food was placed in front of them.
“I don’t wanna rush you but...” Sam could damn near feel the smirk on his lips and she could hear it in his voice.
“You don’t wanna celebrate your medal? She asked and he nodded.
“Of course I do, but not with all these people. It's my damn medal.” Jake said, taking a few bites of his food. Sam placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed. She was going to fuck around and Jake was counting on her finding out the consequences in just a couple short hours. About halfway through dinner, Rooster and his lady friend made their appearance. He introduced her to everyone and they sat down, the waitress coming over to serve them dinner.
“Traffic from the airport was hell.” He said, glancing at Jake. “Hangman. You look good.”
“Ah, I am good, Rooster. I’m very good. I heard you were in Virginia the past month. How was that?” Jake asked and Rooster took a sip of the wine that had come with dinner. Jake observed him for a few moments. Rooster’s eyes flicked over to Sam every once in a while, while his date looked just as stunning, and he barely gave her a second look the whole dinner. Jake thought it was an interesting dynamic. Was it a stab at Sam, thinking he could get a girl who looked just as pretty as Sam and make her jealous? Or was it just what it looked like, that Rooster had elected to bring a date whom he didn’t know very well and they were just in that awkward new stage of their relationship where they weren’t sure how to be around people in public and together yet. Either way Jake thought it was interesting.
“It was good. Met Iris here. She works on base at Oceana as a nurse. We went to her base’s ball a couple days ago when I got back from deployment. She wanted to come out to Cali and come to ours and meet everyone and I guess I couldn’t say no.” Rooster explained and Jake pursed his lips. Interesting, Jake thought, very interesting. So Jake was right, they were in the beginning of their relationship, but it was clear that Rooster was rushing it. Iris seemed uncomfortable with everyone but as the dinner continued she seemed to loosen up a bit. Rooster got up at some point to go to the bathroom and Sam leaned over to talk to Iris.
“Hi. I’m Sam. I’m an old friend of Bradley’s. Hopefully you’re enjoying yourself?” She asked and Iris nodded.
“Yeah. It’s nice to meet everyone. I briefly met Pete.” Jake’s brow furrowed and then he realized she meant Maverick. She clearly didn’t use callsigns much.
“Are you staying for a bit?” Sam asked and Iris nodded.
“Yeah. I got leave for Christmas and so did Bradley, so we’re going to stay here through New Year’s and then head back to Oceana. We’ll stop in Michigan on the way back to see my family.”
“Oh, you’re from Michigan? Must be cold in the winter.” Sam said.
“Yeah. As soon as I could get out I did. I was so happy to get stationed in Virginia. So much better winters.” Iris said. “Where are you from, Sam?”
“I’m from here. My father just passed away but he’d been stationed here for most of his career.” Sam said.
“Oh so you’re not in the Navy?” Iris asked.
“No, Jake, my fiance is. My father was the Fleet Commander for the past ten years so the Navy’s in my blood I’m just not in it.” Sam patted Jake on the shoulder and he smiled warmly at Iris, just as Rooster sat back down.
“Getting to know Hangman?” He asked, placing his hand on her shoulder. Jake chuckled.
“No, our ladies were actually bonding, Roos.” Jake said and Rooster shot him a small smile. There was an awkward tension between them that Sam could feel, but she had gathered that the rest of the table didn't feel it or they were trying to ignore it altogether. Jake figured everyone was just trying to be cordial and friendly. Jake glanced over at Sam and seeing that she had finished her food, he smirked. He wiggled his brows and she shook her head.
“Can we go now?” He asked, leaning in to whisper it in her ear.
“You wanna leave that bad?” She giggled as his lips brushed against her neck. His hands went for her thigh, running up the slit in her dress.
“Yes. I do. Did you want dessert?” He asked, kissing her firmly on the lips then.
“Kind of.” She whimpered and his eyes darkened as he drew back slightly to lock eyes with her.
“Too bad. I’ve got dessert at home for you, babygirl.” He growled. Sam’s mouth dropped open and the bush that Jake loved so much crept across her cheeks. She cleared her throat and used his shoulder to help herself stand up.
“Jake and I are going to head home. It was nice to see everyone. Nice to meet you Iris.” She announced to the table and Jake smiled wide and nodded to everyone as he stood. His fellow pilots all said their goodbyes and Rooster just gave Jake a passing glance. He fixed his jacket and then his hand connected with Sam’s lower back as they headed toward the door. They passed couples here and there in the hall as they left, some making out, some sharing drinks, some laughing and dancing.
Jake could only focus on Sam thought as they stepped into the cool night air. He helped her into the truck and she immediately removed her heels, throwing them on the floor at her feet. Jake started the truck, the engine rumbling to life. He glanced over at her and then shifted the truck into drive and pulled out of the spot. Jake could make the half hour drive into twenty minutes if there was no traffic.
#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin#jake seresin x oc#top gun hangman#top gun fanfiction#top gun maverick#glen powell
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Winter’s Redemption pt. 1 | B. Barnes x Reader
You are a determined journalist, who starts investigating Bucky's past as the Winter Soldier. Your initial goal is to uncover the truth behind his missions and the people involved.
The first time that you meet Bucky Barnes is one that you will never forget. You had been trying to track him down for the past two years due to rumors about certain incidents that happened during his time as the Winter Soldier. He is rightfully reluctant to talk to you and initially turns you away. But you’re persistent.
Every week you knock on his door at the same time and same day to try and set up a time to talk to him about his past. Bucky kept turning you away, but this time was different. He allowed you to come inside and join him for a cup of coffee while you asked him some questions.
“Do you feel like things have gotten worse for you over the years?” Bucky nodded solemnly.
“How have things changed since the beginning of your time as the Winter Soldier?” Bucky responded in a gloomy tone.
“Things have changed allot since then. The skies are clearer, the world is changing each day, and I don’t have to go to war.” He chuckled, and leaned back in his chair as he sipped the coffee.
You could tell that he was getting annoyed with the way that the questions were being addressed so you stopped trying to pry any more than you have. “I better get going, Bucky. But thank you for your time. I appreciate the chance that I have to talk to you today. Hopefully we can meetup soon under better circumstances.” You say, with a smile before starting to get up and make your way over to the door.
Before you could stand though, Bucky grabbed your wrist, and turned you towards him. You gasped and stared up at him. “Yes?” You stammered, as your eyes met his. “I do have something that I need some assistance with and you’re the perfect person to help me, doll.” Bucky said softly. You nod, and wait for him to proceed.
“There is an organization that I believe has been working alongside the government to continue the development of the serum that was used on me. I want to take down this organization so that no more people can be harmed.” Bucky said, with disdain. “I can’t even believe it happened to me. But look where I am now.” He scoffed.
“I would be happy to help you, Bucky. I can see what I can do on my end. I have some avenues that I can use to track some information down about this organization.” You say, with a smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll take them down. I know we can. It’ll just take some time.”
Bucky nodded and smiled. “I can’t wait, doll. I look forward to working with you. How about we meet up tomorrow for lunch and then we can start our investigation?” A huge grin formed across your face. “I’d be happy to do that. I don’t have any plans tomorrow anyways.” A barely visible flush formed across his cheeks. What had come over him? He thought to himself. Normally he doesn’t like to go out for lunch dates even if it’s regarding an important matter.
Bucky ignored his inner voice and said cheerfully, “Great! I’ll meet you here at around 11, and, we’ll head over to a nearby restaurant to grab some lunch. How does that sound?” Your eyes lit up and your smile grew bigger. You couldn’t believe that Bucky Barnes was asking you out on a lunch date. Even if it’s work related.
“Sounds good to me, Mr. Barnes. I’ll see you tomorrow at 11!” You say, with a smile before getting up to leave. Bucky nodded before walking over to the door to let you out. He held the door open and you stepped out with a wave into the cold winters air. You give him a wave goodbye before walking back to your car. You couldn’t wait to meetup with Bucky again tomorrow and little did you know that he couldn’t wait either.
#lilmarshie#winter’s redemption#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x y/n#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes imagines#bucky barnes#Bucky Barnes fanfic#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#marvel fanfiction
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hii i have a request
i think it would be super could to see how the guys, specifically sylus or rafayel’s (your choice) coming to terms with the fact that mc has moved on. like imagine them finally finding the one they’ve searched for, then they find out that she has a whole new life and is married/engaged
if you’re not comfortable writing this then that’s ok <3
Prompt: Rafayel finally finds you again after so many years... only to find you've gotten engaged.
Genre: Angst, a tiny bit dark
Word Count: ~600
Relationship: Rafayel/reader
Tags: takes place during Raf's Addictive Pain anecdote so is slightly canon divergent, stalker Rafayel, jealousy, one mention of fantasizing about self-harm (I'M SORRY), sad and angry Raf :(
Author's Notes: nonnie please forgive me for the direction I took this fic but I just know Rafayel would NOT be normal abt this 😰😰
He's always had a knack for finding people.
But not always at the right time.
By the end of the first day, though, he can see it plainly in your eyes. He recognizes that look, because you'd once given it to him.
His world nearly falls apart when he catches a glimpse of something sparkling on your left ring finger.
If he had been quicker–if he had found you first–would it have made a difference? You're both so young, so who's to say it'll even last? But the evidence is undeniable.
You clearly intend on marrying that boy. Whoever the hell he is.
And now Rafayel doesn't know what to do. He knows what he wants to do—but he imagines you'd have a rather distasteful reaction to him storming over and tearing you over to his side, away from the wretch that always has an arm slung over your shoulders as you walk across the courtyard together to your next class.
He watches the pair of you depart in stony silence. Right now, he doesn't even have the energy to pretend to be invested in the smalltalk of his fellow professors.
He has a fleeting thought that he should fling himself into ocean and dissolve into foam right then and there. Too bad it's a bit of a drive to the coast from here. Besides, he's already started following you before he had a moment to really think about it.
A week later he runs into you in the hallway.
Really, it's more like you run into him. One moment he's stepping out of the stairwell, and the next you're colliding face-first into his chest. It takes a great deal of self-restraint on Rafayel's part not to crush you into his arms, but he manages.
"Ow!" you yelp.
"Ouch!" he says at the same, playing up his own hurt.
He takes a little too much enjoyment in how quickly you fluster.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see you!"
He waits a beat. A wave of disappointment crashes over him when there's no spark of recognition in your gaze and you don't fling yourself into his arms, but he weathers it well. It's not the first time, after all.
"Your head is, like, super hard," he complains, rubbing the spot over his heart. It doesn't hurt, really. Not in a physical sense, at least.
You fluster again. "You came out of nowhere."
"I came from the stairwell," he corrects. "You were practically sprinting, so..."
You grunt, looking away. "Sorry. Again. I'm late for class."
"You're always late for this class, because you have to book it across the entire campus to get here."
A statement, not a question. He doesn't have to ask, because he's already memorized your school schedule, including the one window during your day where that little parasite isn't glued to your side because your classes don't line up.
At the look on your face, he laughs.
"Just guessing. Well, get going, little miss. Not all professors are as merciful as I am, you know."
He neatly steps to the side. You spare him a final glance, then bound up the steps two at a time.
Rafayel watches you leave in silence. But his mind is anything but quiet.
Two more weeks. He'll guest lecture here for two more weeks. And if in that time he can't ignite even a fragment of your memory, of your shared bond... he'll let you go.
At least, that's what he tells himself.
Even when he knows in that empty space where his heart used to be that he'll chase you to the ends of the earth if he has to.
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Worth Burning For
𐙚 pairings: Karina x Fem!Reader
𐙚 genre: fluff, angst
𐙚 cw: religious themes (catholicism)
𐙚 wc: 2.2k
↪author's note: hello! decided to write this on a whim since I got inspired by my lovely moots on discord. i am a first time writer so this may be a little rough, but i tried to convey my emotions growing up catholic with this. hope you enjoy! <3
↪special thanks: thank you to @miupow , @moamidzyism , @sheerfreesia007 , and many more of my friends for helping me proofread and edit this. <3
**THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION AND DOES NOT REFLECT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE INDIVIDUALS MENTIONED.**
Jude 1:7 ~ Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.
The verse repeats in your head like clockwork.
And yet every Sunday you were willing to disregard every last word.
There was nothing comforting about the church you and your family stepped into once a week. While the beauty of the richly detailed glass murals certainly caught your eye, it never seemed to make you feel at ease, at home. What was once a fun activity as a child had now turned into a reminder of your future in an eternal fire.
It hadn't always been this way,you had always considered yourself "normal" as a child, finding boys in your classes attractive and even dating them in your younger years. As you grew, however, you began to experience puberty and its atrocious and ungodly side effects, and your emotions flamed as you battled a newfound tingling in your system. Lust.
While your sex ed classes had preached that it was normal to feel the desire to touch yourself (and others), your parents and elders at church had always denounced lust at its core, calling it "an abomination before our savior" and commanding abstinence amongst your youth group. That very youth group however, was the one to send you down into your spiral for longing.
Your closest friend since childhood at church, Karina, was always praised for her beauty by all. Glowing brown eyes, soft porcelain skin, and long black hair delicately concealed by a pure white veil. An angel walking amongst the earth, putting even saints to shame. And yet, always kind and gracious to all, and she seemed to have a special spot for you, a mere peasant in her presence.
What started as an innocent friendship between the two of you in your youth had turned you into the very monster your priest warned against since day one. In the blink of an eye, every detail about her made your heart soar higher than the heavens. The way she looked for you while sitting at the bench by the altar and smiled everytime your eyes met when you walked in and how she always got up to sit next to you. The way you could hear the choruses sing in your heart as she looked into your eyes when you spoke. The way nothing else in the world mattered as long as she was with you. The fire in your heart burnt, truly.
No one else could ever come close to her in your eyes, no man or woman.
Karina also had her fair share of innocent relationships with men, and who wouldn't jump at the chance to be with divinity? But it was never innocent to them, she was a mere prize to be won for them, an object. They never understood her for her true kind nature, they never truly knew your Karina. No amount of ignoring or diving into other relationships could take away the sting of watching her look at a man the way she looked at you.
_______________________
It was still a Sunday like any other, your brother fussing about the early wake as usual as your parents dragged you to worship. You didn't seem to mind, to them you were just happy to be in the presence of God, but you were looking forward to seeing Karina again. Walking towards the old rusted doors you make the sign of the cross and enter, making it a point to fake a smile to anyone who greeted you. You rushed over to the bench where Karina sat, sliding in with ease as she turned and smiled.
"Y/N, you came!" She said with a bright smile.
"Of course I did silly, I always do. Not like I have a choice though." You giggled
"Listen, I've been trying to improve my cooking skills since I burned the last batch of cupcakes I've made. Can you taste this and tell me what you think?" She says as she hands you a small bag of cookies with "Y/N ♡" written on it.
Your heart fluttered at even the smallest gesture, the heart next to your name in the most beautiful handwriting, it was exactly why you endured this agony daily.
Karina watched attentively as you took a bite. It was surprisingly delicious and soft, you smiled at her warmly as you chewed, not caring about the crumbs all over your lap.
"It's delicious Karina! You outdid yourself with these.”
Her eyes lit up as she smiled. "Thank goodness, I worked all night on these! My dark circles must be showing" she said as she touched the skin under her eye.
"You spent all night working on these Rinnie?"
"Of course! I wanted to make them perfect for you."
Your ears rang at the words as heat crept up on your cheeks.
"F-for me? Rinnie you didn't have to do that! I eat enough as it is, I promise!"
"Well why wouldn't I? You're special to me, I wanted to."
Just as quickly as your heart began to flutter, the bells rang and the priest began to walk down the aisle with the altar boys following quickly. You opened your book of hymns and attempted to sing alongside the rest of the church. Karina's voice sang next to you, her voice was truly beautiful, like a songbird of the heavens.
As the priest made his way down, you noticed one of the altar boys and long time friend, Felix, stumbling slightly while carrying the cross. Karina giggled as Felix laughed at himself slightly. He shot a look at the two of you in embarrassment.
"He's always so clumsy, I hope he doesn't trip and break the cross" she whispered in your ear as you smiled in his direction. He pouted and looked the other way quickly.
The rest of mass went about exactly how you'd expect, the priest droning on about sin and temptation as you tried to make sense of your emotions. It seemed as though that the priest's monotone voice and Karina's lack of sleep caused her to doze off, a rare sight for such a devout listener like her. Suddenly, you felt a slight pressure on your shoulder, turning your head slightly to see Karina delicately resting on you.
This was heaven. Nothing in a promised afterlife could compare to her warmness and beautiful sleeping figure. You leaned your head on top of hers as you thanked the stars for this moment.
__________________
Your moment in bliss was too short lived as mass concluded and many church members gathered downstairs for the brunch. You still felt on cloud nine, but your head was still spinning. You couldn't keep this facade of normalcy up for much longer, especially since you were days away from deciding your college of choice. Would you and Karina go to the same school? Could you finally see her more, or would she pursue other endeavors and leave you forever? Your heart ached at the thought, unaware of the tap on your shoulder from a familiar face.
"Yo, Y/N! Have you finally decided where you're headed to? You seem conflicted about it." Felix asked.
"Oh, well, to be honest I'm still not sure. I'm too worried about the future." You responded
"Like what? You can tell me anything, I won't judge." He noted.
"Felix..." You paused. "...do you think that gay people deserve to die? Or burn in hell?"
His eyes widened at the brazen question as you hurried to retort.
"Well I'm just asking hypothetically, it's nothing serious!"
Felix sighed as he spoke. "No Y/N, you're not burning in hell for eternity. You're still my friend no matter what."
Your eyes widened "W-wait ME?! I'm not gay, I was just wondering!"
"You're a terrible liar." He retorted
"Nuh-uh! I had a boyfriend in 6th grade!"
"Yeah... in 6th grade. Where's he at now?"
You stood still like a deer in headlights, how were you supposed to defend yourself now? He had caught you red-handed.
"Look, Y/N, I'm at the altar every Sunday. I KNOW you have feelings for Karina, and I honestly don't blame you. Karina is kind no matter what and knows to love everybody regardless of who they are. Besides, God is forgiving. I'm not ashamed of you." He said.
"So...you think she'll like me no matter what?" You whispered.
"I think so, yeah. Why not give it a shot, she might like you back! Besides, she doesn't seem too keen on any of my mates anyway." The freckled boy chuckled.
"But what if this ruins everything? What if she never sees me the same again? What if she hates me fore-"
"Y/N, hurry! The line for the pumpkin pie is getting longer!" You heard Karina shout from behind you as she grabbed your hand and hurried you to her spot in line.
"Ughh, I've been dying for some since November! I need some sugar badly before I fall asleep on the floor." Karina noted.
You had to know. You had to know if this was all for nothing, if you should move on forever with no regrets, even if it meant her potentially outing you to your family. It wouldn't matter to you anyway, you could leave and never come back, and yet, you would always think of her.
"Rinnie, can I ask you something? And be honest with me, please."
"Sure, what's up?"
"Do you think gay people deserve to die?"
She paused for a moment, as if having a war in her mind at the mention.
"...No, of course not. Everyone deserves God's love."
A safe response, you thought.
"So if you had a friend who came out to you, you'd still love them?"
Her eyes widened. "Y/N, are you saying you're-"
You couldn't take it anymore. You grabbed her hand and rushed her into the girl's bathroom. You had to free the demons consuming you.
"Karina, I know you put your faith before anything else, and you have every right to never talk to me again after this, but I have to get this off my chest." You spoke as you felt the tears welling in your eyes, as if pleading to a savoir. You took her hand gently and placed it on your chest, letting her feel the rapid heartbeat pounding in your chest.
Her eyes met yours with a worried concern in her eyes, a rosy red blush creeping on her face.
"...My heart, it beats for you. It always has, and no matter how hard I try and repent, nothing can ever replace you in my heart. You're all I've ever wanted."
At this point, the tears were pouring as your lip quivered. You were about to lose it all, but you were prepared.
"I love you Karina. I always have, and I always will."
A sob escaped your lips as her breath hitched, looking at you as if you were a soaked puppy lost in the rain.
"I know I'm g-going to burn forever, and I know that I'll never see you again, but I had to tell you before I left."
You let go of her hand as she slowly retracted from your chest. Your heart was screaming to stay but your feet were dragging you back out into the world that hated you so.
Your attempt back was stopped by a swift grab of your hand, turning your head finding Karina with tears in her eyes as she moved closer.
"Y/N...do you mean it?" She said with a wobbly voice.
Was this real? Has heaven finally granted you access through her?
"Of course I do," you said through tears. "How could I not? You're everything I've ever dreamed of, nothing else I love comes even close to you. You're a blessi-"
Your speech was cut off swiftly by a pair of soft lips meeting yours.
You closed your eyes, cupping her face gently as you took every moment in. There's no way you would ever need access to heaven, when heaven was right here with you, kissing you with buttery lips and soft hands on your shoulders.
Your lips parted ways ever so slowly, as if being separated by Atlas himself, but not even Atlas could have the strength to keep you away from her.
"Karina..." You muttered, feeling her warm breath on yours. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to burn in hell forever because of me."
She paused before smiling once more. "To me, Y/N, you're worth burning for."
You weren't certain about the future. You didn't know if you'd ever get to see your family or friends at church again. But you knew for certain that no matter what, you would love Karina until the day you died. Even if God sent you both to hell, you would carry her through the lakes of fire and move the mountains for her. And if God dared to seperate you, you would crawl mountains for eternity to gaze upon her again, because to you, she was better than any paradise promised to you. Karina was, and always will be, your heaven.
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A song to inspire for Loki oneshot:
Villain - Song by Bella Poarch
Song Request/Inspiration: "Villain" by Bella Poarch
Rating: *WARNING* this may or may not be the darkest i've written ever, or in awhile. the demon has stolen my pen. please do not read if you are triggered because it is *grape* themed if you know what i mean.
Summary: "I'll be the villain tonight" inspired. Loki misses his old self and Y/N just so happens to be the very one to inspire him.. unintendedly.
The door made a quiet click, raising a brow from Y/N yet she still didn’t bother to turn around, holding the same disinterested expression as usual. It was probably yet another interrogator set to try to gain answers she still didn’t intend to give out- thus sending away anther failed agent back to the TVA.
This has been perhaps the fifth attempt now, some sessions lengthy, some short- but each agent that came in normally always left disappointed, or disappointed and bleeding. Which is why it didn’t take many sessions before the decision was made to keep her hands cuffed behind her while she sat in her chair. the table had to be removed as well, which had been made into a make-shift weapon with a simple kick.
It’s been nearly two weeks before the TVA finally got to the point where they had to bring in their newest expert, whom stayed by the door just behind her with his eyes practically burning a hole through her head.
‘’you’re not fooling anyone.’’ Her words came out calmly, not even bothering to turn around to face him with her eyes settled on the wall across from her.
Loki could be heard holding in a chuckle, his fingers laced behind his back while he continued to take in her form from what he could see. ‘’and why exactly do you feel like I am trying to fool you when we haven’t even started yet?” he challenged.
His eyes seemed to fall down, taking in the length and texture of her beautiful, loose hair. Her shoulders were tense and back, her pride and dignity definitely showing through her body language. The chair was thin, not so much comfortable and left a good view of her hips and hints of the shape of her ass even through her TVA jumpsuit. Somehow even that seemed to show off her shape in which he didn’t dare move in front of her yet.
These things took delicate time.
‘’it’s your vibe. Your energy is trying to make yourself scary, in charge, intimidating, but it’s just making you look far more like a..’’ she finally glanced over her shoulder, her eyes piercing his own but with the look of amusement and being totally unintimidated. ‘’pussycat.’’
Loki’s face had changed as quickly as he could to be unreadable, but he was sure she had already caught a glimpse of his admiring expression as she had glanced over at him. her vibrant e/c eyes almost had him captivated, hating how quickly she had turned back around before he could really get the urge to get lost in them.
‘’..so you used to work for them.’’ He said in a statement but it still sounded more like a question while he noted her term Mobius had called him once or twice before. It couldn’t have been a coincidence.
‘’indeed, files and all. you were quite the popular case at one point around here until you lost New York.’’ She failed hiding a smirk, glancing over her shoulder again but found he was already passing her side in a slow walk, his eyes trained on her while she followed his. ‘’I had high hopes for you, I truly did.’’
She was even more beautiful up close, her words of reminiscing intriguing him and succeeded in bringing back memories of that time where he had quite indeed brought a piece of Midgard to its knees at one point.. even if it was brief. Did she approve of it? She didn’t necessarily seem to scold him- not that it would have any effect on him.. that wasn’t like him anymore to care.. he wasn’t that god from before..
‘’you praise that version of me?’’ he couldn’t help but ask, curiosity quite quickly winning over his professionalism to stay on track and be the one to ask questions instead.
Not one person had willingly followed him, on his quest for New York. Why did she seem to be? No.. this had to be one of her tricks before she would strike. Most agents came out bruised or bleeding, there was no way he was going to fall for any of her.. female powers she may try, even if she had won him over the moment he had taken in her scent once the door had clicked shut.
Still, he did remember those days. How fun it had been.. to let loose, to act upon instinct and have his own control. Everything had been his, everyone had been listening, seeing, doing.. blood.. so much blood.. it was all necessary to get where he needed to be and having gotten to where he wanted to be had been.. exhilarating..
‘’it was the thought that counted. You hoped to help a failing race, you did it- briefly, or some part of it. And you knew how.’’ She told him carefully, her expression having changed to unreadable as his once he was fully standing before her, just a few steps away from each other. Her legs were spread, taking advantage of the outfit benefits of comfort if she had to be wearing it and he didn’t mind whats so ever.
It hugged her body perfectly where his eyes dared to dip down past her neck briefly before flicking back up as if she hadn’t noticed. She did. He didn’t necessarily care either, most of his gentleman ways warned him that he needed to stick to the job, and being presented a female, he had to abide by the delicate rules and be chivalrous. He was a prince after all, and strived in the ways he had treated many flowers in his lifetime with respect and gentlemanly care.. but something else in him had been reminded of his old ways..
The ways back in New York.. the part of him that was in control.. full control.. he could do whatever he wanted, control and take whatever he wanted.. how easy it could be for him to just do..
‘’aggression.’’
The word had her brow raised, having taken on a small glare after apparently noticing his wondering eyes and now labeled him as like one of the rest. ‘’excuse me?” she asked with halfhearted interest.
‘’you said I knew how, and I’m telling you.’’ He told her simply before his lips tugged up into a smirk. ‘’aggression.’’ He told her, his voice having dropped a bit lower and it would seem his expression had changed as well. ‘’humans end to only listen to harsher actions. It starts off as children- spare the rod, spare the lesson, as they are told. Then it follows them to when they are adults, words do count. Harshness gains attention, forms character and can be used to hold attention and order. My methods only followed your own, you people just tended to become.. sensitive over the past decades.’’
His skin tingled, almost like some buzz and adrenaline had entered his body while his fingers tightened in their hold behind his back. His long, brown jacket suddenly felt a bit tight while he mildly rotated his shoulders to release some of the tension. ‘’while we are on the subject darling, I do believe we have strayed away from the point.’’ He mockingly tsked, her body noticeably tensing while she sensed his vibes again.
This time it was different. She could feel the energy in the room getting thicker, darker almost where she felt her back pressing more into the chair- almost subconsciously trying to create distance from him. her eyes were careful while she watched him, face strained a bit while she pushed down any emotional indication while he stared down his nose at her. almost like they already had a conversation without words, she leaned forward carefully with the most serious expression she could muster.
‘’..I’m not telling you anything.’’
‘’as you’ve quite established with your own vibes, darling.’’ he smirked, having leaned down a bit to almost be nose to nose with her as she had challenged him.
What was happening.. he felt new.. fresh, like some part of him had come back alive after having been buried deep down once he had chosen this life in the TVA. Almost as if he was.. back in New York.. she, on the other hand, had quickly changed her demeanor- as much as she tried to hide it. It was almost as if she had sensed his change, how his old self seemed to have come back alive compared to the Loki version she had seen just a moment ago. Her tough exterior was not one to match someone who was serious enough to kill to gain property.
‘’but I’m sure there are several ways to get you to give me what I need, I’m sure the others haven’t thought of yet.’’ He smirked, his body having relaxed and clearly was in no hurry while he straightened to his full height.
There was a delicate green hue that had flashed within his eyes, raising suspicion in her own before she followed his gaze and glanced behind her. the single, small window that remained in the center of the door had a green glaze over it, the same color as the one that had been Loki’s eyes a moment ago and she knew by his awaiting smirk, he had something to do with it.
‘’blocking the view of the window won’t scare me variant. Unless you are trying to hide your own embarrassment from being another failed agent trying to get something out of me-‘’
‘’oh no darling, you are going to try to get something out of me.’’ He smirked, his voice having gotten darker and lust seemed to have taken over his gaze while he moved his hands forward to shed the jacket off his shoulders and placed it aside on the floor. The buttons of his shirt seemed to strain with the white shirt’s fabric with his movements, his toned muscles clearly being the culprit.
‘’what are you talking about?” she asked with a glare, her voice matching her expression while she subconsciously closed her legs with her eyes flashing at his muscles forearms while he rolled up his sleeves.
‘’you ask many questions for one who plans on not telling me anything.’’ He smirked. ‘’perhaps we’ve gotten to the good start sooner than I had thought.’’ He mocked before he straightened, hands in front of him clasped while he looked down his nose at her barely a foot away.
Her eyes rose, already leaning back in the chair where she couldn’t much accommodate without having to lean to the side a bit. Her body reminded her that getting up and away was an option, perhaps shooting a punch forward into his crotch was necessary, but her brain reminded her that if she failed to injure the god- who could take far more than the mortals she had been dealing with, the consequences could be serious.
It may have seemed that he could read her thoughts, because in the next moment, his hand shot out to her forehead, pressing his palm flat against her smooth skin before a zap seemed to have shot at her, throwing her head back in a mild whip lash while Loki raised his palm in almost a surrender position. ‘’I wouldn’t plan to hurt me if I were you.’’
Y/N’s moved her body to lean forward, almost looking ready to shoot out of the chair while the cuffs cut mildly into her skin with her fast movement ‘’what the fuck was-‘’
‘’a simple spell, the buzz and tingle will fade in a moment. Its for prevention, encase you try to do something stupid.’’
‘’so you’re afraid.’’ She sent him a small smirk, the only thing she could really do to try to gain her demeanor while she looked up at him. a protection spell.. she didn’t call any bluffs, she knew if he was willing to get to this point, than what he just did had to be real. If she tried to bite, kick, punch- cause any type of harm towards him, than there was no doubt the spell would inflict her pain beyond imaginable. That fear alone, was enough to block out any thoughts of attempts.
‘’no, but it’s usually best to rid of the nuisance if it can be.’’ He smirked before he kicked the chair out from under her, causing her to fall on her side, a yelp leaving her lips with the awkward position she was in with her hands cuffed.
‘’are you going to ask me a question or are you just going to be a dick?” she snapped, rolling to get on her knees with a wince and her eyes glared daggers up at him.
‘’would you be willing to answer the question darling or shall we continue with what I have planned?” he smirked, knowing she wasn’t going to dare ask but saw the curiosity and hesitation in her eyes while his eyes seemed to glow green again.
‘’ask.’’ She snapped, rolling her shoulders a little from the soreness while she sat on her heels.
‘’what is the location of Agent 615?” he asked carefully, narrowing his eyes while his hands rested at his knees, leaning down nose to nose with her as if speaking with a child.
‘’go fuck yourself.’’ She snapped, her own amused look flashing in her eyes where she eternally cursed herself for being stubborn. She couldn’t betray her commander, but she knew her answers could be adjusted to affect her punishment.. it was just difficult when she felt fear to whatever had overcome Loki. It would seem he was.. enjoying this.. so it seemed like, even if he didn’t necessarily show it on his face.
‘’I always could,’’ he shrugged, his voice calm while he stood up to his full height and raised a hand before waving it once in a shooing position.
The feeling of two slender hands on her shoulders with a firm grip was enough to make her jump, the being keeping her in her kneeling position before she quickly looked up. Looking down at her with the same smirk on his face, was an identical Loki- same clothes and everything as the one that stood before her. his grip told her she wasn’t going to move from this position and her body finally began struggling to get him off while her eyes moved towards the first one.
‘’what the hell kind of tactic is this- your trying to scare me into it?? This is against the TV-‘’
‘’what makes you so concerned with the TVA’s rules when you’ve broken and ditched them yourselves? Any tactic should be fair game since you are the one who supports such behavior.’’ Loki smirked, taking a small step towards her while she continued to struggle to stand.
‘’I don’t support this-‘’
‘’you support the old me, my darling. the one who demanded control, aggression, power, and order for this realm. Used all of them to gain it. Yet when it becomes quite personal, it is wrong? I don’t believe you have officially picked your side love. You need to be on one side with no foot in the other door. Now, I will give you a chance to tell me where agent 615 is, once you have given me the correct answer, my methods shall stop. Are we clear?”
‘’your sick-‘’ she spat, not exactly sure what tactics we was referring to before she saw his hands move down to the zipper of his pants.
‘’I feel more like myself than I ever have darling, and it is all thanks to you.’’ He sighed with the grin on his face, the other Loki moving a hand to grip the area between her neck and shoulder, keeping her down in a bruising grip while the other hand moved around to cup her jaw from under, raising her chin up with his thumb and pointing finger adding pressure to open her mouth.
‘’wait- I can be reasonable.. there’s a branch- one the TVA hasn’t-‘’
‘’remember darling, give me the location and my methods shall stop.’’ Loki reminded almost to calmly, his heart racing in acceleration while his eyes looked down at her through half lids with lust.
‘’the branch is- mmph!’’ her words were muffled when he slowly slid his cock into her mouth, pressing against the back of her throat before he paused, not wanting to block her airway while half her mind tried to fathom how impossibly large he was and how all of this could be happening to her.
‘’gods- you feel divine..’’ he breathed, his eyes fluttering closed while he raised his head to fall back, his hand moving to the top of her head to keep her still. Her muffles merely just sending vibrations against him, triggering him to rock his hips back and forth while his body shuddered with pleasure ‘’darling if you keep trying to speak, your only going to turn me on more..’’ he chuckled while he looked down at her with her glare and tear pricked eyes.
‘’are you ready to tell me darling?” he asked calmly though his body was screaming with pleasure and he’s hardly even moved yet. Still, she nodded which only opted to brush her tongue up against him and tighten his fingers in her hair.
‘’I am going to need a verbal confirmation darling, these government things are very specific.’’ It was almost as if his voice was trying to hold back a laugh, seeing the slight widening of her eyes while she made the attempt to speak, squeezing her eyes shut as he tightened her hold in her hair to prevent her from pulling back and doing so.
Her muffles may have sounded like she was giving him the actual answer, perhaps she was, the relief on her face seemed to confirm like she had and he sensed no lies within her. ‘’I do not believe I caught that darling, you are going to have to speak up.’’
There was a very mild pressure in her jaw, one where it would be easy to miss while her eyes nearly spoke for her. she was trying to bite him, her jaw aching with the attempts to try to fight the mere burning sensation in her jaw that prevented her from going through with it until she had to stop. It hurt so bad, her eyes squeezing shut to try to block out the pain that merely seemed to have her temporarily forget that Loki was face fucking her until she reopened her eyes while she felt a hand on her cheek.
He smirked down at her, as if knowing what she had been trying to do and the smugness of her failure while his hand stroked her tear-stained cheek. ‘’such fire and fieriness darling, I hope you still have it when I’m through with you..’’
He then suddenly removed himself from her mouth, granting her deep breaths of air while he took a step away and sat himself down in the chair that he must have magically called to be right behind him. she hunched over, ignoring the cuffs that bit her skin while she panted, feeling how the other Loki kneeled down behind her to gently run a hand in circles against her back, as if trying to sooth her growing hatred while she glared forward at the original.
‘’why?” she whispered, voice hoarse from what had happened while Loki smirked down at her in his manspread position, arms crossed and cock begging for release.
‘’you’ve made me realize just how much I’ve missed control. If I cannot have your world, perhaps I can settle for something else.. or someone.’’ His face then slowly faded to look at her seriously, leaning forward so his forearms rested at his knees while he almost seemed to look sickenly lovingly at her. ‘’you’ve made me realize it, and I have to thank you. You should be honored for the privilege, not many of my toys get to leave unbroken but I cannot control what happens to your spirt. I do believe, however, you are strong enough to last.’’
There was a relief suddenly at her wrists before a clink could be heard behind her. her hands instantly moved to in front of her where she rubbed the mild cuts now that the cuffs were off. Her eyes almost showed some sort of relief that it was over, that she’d be let go. That’s why the cuffs were off, wasn’t it? Loki seemed to recognize that look and merely chuckled.
‘’don’t get to excited darling, it’s merely a reward for your attempt to tell me what I need. But it’s still not properly given.’’ He reminded, sitting back in his chair while her eyes widened.
He needed the location still, and she knew he was serious enough where her mouth began to open in a mere mild panic to get the answer out.
‘’okay okay- he’s- mmph!’’ a hand was quick to clasp around her mouth, the other Loki pulling her back against him while they both remained on their knees, his body up against hers from behind.
‘’ah ah ah darling, I do cherish your willingness, but I don’t exactly feel like giving you up just yet.’’ Loki tsked while he raised a hand and seemed to wave it once in a ‘shooing’ motion before she felt a force engulf her body, dragging her forward towards him before her hands planted against his thighs, cock waiting just before her lips while her body tensed to stop from moving any more forward against him.
‘’p-please.. I didn’t mean-‘’
‘’didn’t mean to wish for the old me? But darling, if you didn’t, than why are you so wet?” Loki chuckled while her eyes widened, looking up at him while his eyes moved forward to cup her face and use his thumbs to stroke at the tears that began running down her cheeks.
‘’I’m not-‘’
‘’lying to the god of mischief won’t grant you any favors darling, if anything, honesty might make this a bit more enjoyable for you.’’ He warned, a hand moving up to plant itself on top of her head before he began pushing down, his other hand moving to cup her jaw. ‘’now open up.’’
Her eyes looked at him with everything she had to beg and plead, not darling to say it herself to grant him an open mouth but the pressure at her jaw was more than enough to force it open anyway. She felt his tip on her tongue, the butterfly jump feeling coming to the pit on her stomach while her nails dug into his thighs. ‘’I’ll t-tell you the location-‘’ she mumbled, words fumbling while inch by inch he added himself, the force in his hand never ceasing until he had reached the back of her throat and stilled.
‘’I am grateful for that darling, all in due time.’’ He smiled, his hand curling into her hair now while two slender hands came to hips.
Her body began to struggle, the burning sensation eternally thankfully not returning because it wasn’t an attempt to hurt him personally while her eyes squeezed shut. ‘’please-‘’ she mumbled, mouth full where it was barely audible.
‘’we do not talk with out mouth full darling, but I shall allow your moans while it benefits us both.’’ Loki tsked, his hand in her hair pulling her up slightly before pushing her down, keeping a slow rhythm while the other Loki moved a hand in front of her to gently start rubbing between her thighs against the fabric.
Her legs began to shake, the sick realization to find out how wet she actually was while her throat took him easier the more and more he pushed her down. ‘’that’s it darling, rock your hips…’’ he whispered, his head having fallen back again with sweet words like she was into this.
The gaslighting fact was that she found herself indeed rocking her hips against the duplicates hand that rubbed her while the other hand held her hip, making thorough strokes with his fingers and palm against her sex. He brushed against her clit just right, following by brushing against her entrance while her jumpsuit seemed to feel like it was getting thinner and thinner the faster his movements got.
‘’gods you feel divine..’’ he breathed, leaning forward where his hand left her cheek, the other remaining in her hair. His free hand gripped the clone’s hair, the tight grip earning a growl from him but still, he remained silent while Loki pulled his head forward. His chest pressed against the back of her head, barely making her able to lift it up from Loki’s cock while the sound of wet mouths could be heard above her.
Loki’s hand continued to stroke at your groin, bringing your horrifyingly closer to your climax while he remained practically draped over you, making out passionately with Loki whom held his mouth firm to his while his tongue dominated his double, keeping his hand tight at the back of his head while the other kept her bobbing hers on his cock.
It was deeply erotic with emotions that could barely be able to be put into words until she finally felt her walls clench around nothing by the constant stimulation. She moaned around his cock, a rather involuntary action while her orgasm washed over her body, her eyes fluttering and her hands grasping at Loki desperately whom seemed to moan into his double’s mouth by the knowing knowledge of her climax.
Merley a moment later she could feel his hips rocking up quickly, his hand pushing her down with her eyes wide before he climaxed down her throat. It all went down directly into her stomach, her tongue hardly tasting anything by how far he was down her.
By the time his moans and pants subsided, her vision began to dance with the lack of oxygen and she began to squirm with no movement with being held in place. Loki’s hand between her legs had vanished, his body slowly lifting before she had a weird sense that his presence had disappeared, like his clone had vanished. The original’s grip was gentle, having untightened and now having a slowly stroke to her locks while she dared look up at his face.
His eyes were closed, a small smile at the corner of his mouth while his face was slightly pointed up towards the ceiling. With a small movement, she began raising her head, feeling his cock slowly slide from her throat and no movement from him to try to stop her. taking advantage of this, she straightened more on her knees and his cock left her mouth, leaving her falling back on her ass finally with deep breaths and a hand at her sore throat.
She didn’t know what to say.. she didn’t know what to do.. her eyes watched him carefully while he drew in a breath and opened his eyes, a soft smile on his lips while he leaned once again on his forearms against his knees. Her skin tingled while she to was coming off her high, sensitivity pulsing in her cunt while her hands shook and felt herself scooting back slowly away from his watchful eyes.
‘’do.. do you still need the location?” she whispered, not sure if he’ll stop her this time but was more than willing to give it while she watched his eyes slowly fill with that familiar green glow.
‘’we’ll try again tomorrow darling, you won’t remember this anyway.’’
Note: Another related one shot(s) like this is called "Heads Will Roll" and "Take Two" if you wanna check it out here. please DM a song for your own Musical Mischief One Shot :D
Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing
#loki x reader smut#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki fluff#loki fanfic#loki x reader#loki god of mischief#loki smut#loki#lokifluff#loki series#loki season 2#loki s2#lokius#mobius#marvel loki#marvel#avengers#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#loki marvel#the avengers#loki tom hiddleston
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Haunted By You
Pairing: Sihtric x Reader
Request: Heyyy! ♡ Do you still take requests? If yes, could you do promt 13. for Sihtric?
Prompt quote: "You call yourself a warrior, but I’ve seen more fear in a frightened hare."
A/N: This is a bit of a sad one, and tbh it is a bit chaotic- normally I really try to think out the plot but my mind is all over the place, and I wanted pure emotion, so its more of a stream of consciousness lol.
Reblogs, likes and comments are unbelievably appreciated:)
Tags: @leftoverp1zza @benkeibear @klaudsworld @whitedarkmoonflower (if you wanna be tagged/ untagged let me know:))
Four years.
It had been four years since Sihtric.
He haunted you, day in, day out.
You had spent a whirlwind of three years together- three years that were full of the most heart breaking love, lust, obsession and dedication- on your part anyway.
You had met him at an alehouse one evening; he was a friend of a friend, and as soon as you lay eyes on one another, your attraction towards each other was exceptionally clear. Much to your dismay, however, you discovered that Sihtric had a woman, already.
You respected this, of course. But it did not change the way he looked at you. It did not change the deep, hilarious, flirtatious conversations that you had every time you saw one another. In fact, it got to the point where you would all meet up and you and Sihtric would find yourselves sneaking away immediately.
Your heart soared when he told you that he had left his woman, for you. You felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world, you could finally be with the man that you knew you loved, with your whole being.
The entire situation was a whirlwind that lasted a life time.
Sometimes, Sihtric made you feel like you were the most beautiful, sexy, loved woman on the planet. But sometimes, Sihtric made you feel unappreciated, lost and empty- for he would go days without contacting you, and disregard his previous words by saying that he is not ready for such a commitment.
The last time you had seen him, he was cold. You had found out that he had been unfaithful to you, and a week after this, bumped into him at the alehouse. You were both drunk, and your attraction for one another always stood firmly. So, despite his new relationship with another, the two of you were intimate. He told you after that he regretted it, with a coldness in his eyes that you did not recognise.
He left you. He left you heartbroken, used and aching.
The past four years had not been easy, after your last meeting with Sihtric, you spend every single day and night crying, on your own in your bed. Your friends tried their best to get you out and cheer you up, but nothing worked. Sihtric had a firm grip on your heart, and you felt absolutely worthless without him.
Four years later, and you were proud of yourself- of the woman you have become. You ensured to grow, mentally- you ensured to love yourself, build your skills, your intellect. And most importantly, you had done a lot of work in forgiveness.
Sihtric haunted you. You lied to your friends when they rarely brought him up, you wanted to pretend you had forgotten. You felt embarrassed that you still thought about him, constantly.
You were able to get on with your life, of course, but he was always at the back of your mind. Thoughts of what could have been. Questions of why he treated you so carelessly. You concluded that it was simple; you fell completely in love and he did not- you forced yourself to view it this way, for if you did not, then you would drive yourself insane.
He had been a storm in your life; fierce and wild. That was how you chose to remember it.
Despite this, despite the upset and anger he had caused, you moved on and you were finally somewhat happy.
But he was not.
He had not moved on.
He missed you. He regretted leaving you. And he had not stopped thinking about you since the day he cowardly left you.
The inn was warm, its low ceilings trapping the soft glow of candlelight and the hum of quiet conversation. You did not attend this place often, but tonight had felt like an exception. Four years had passed, and you told yourself you were a different person now, unshackled from the shadows of your past. You are a hard worker, and so your friends had persuaded you to allow yourself one night of drunkenness and laughs. Or, they said, you will surely reach the brink of insanity.
Unbeknownst to you, Sihtric sat at a table in the far corner, nursing a cup of ale. His dark eyes flicked up every so often to catch glimpses of you, though you were blissfully unaware of his presence. He hadn’t meant to stay so long in this town. Passing through had been the plan, but the moment he’d seen you, smiling and relaxed among friends, he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
You were happy.
And it tore at him.
He had thought of you every day for four years. Regret was a cruel companion, whispering reminders of the things he had done—the hurt he had caused you when all you had given him was trust and affection. He had loved you, in his own broken way, but he had been too selfish, too reckless to show it. And now? Now he sat in the shadows, watching a life that no longer had space for him.
He gripped the cup tighter as a laugh escaped your lips. It was the sound of something he had lost forever. He wanted you to be happy, of course. But he did not want you to be happy without him. He knew this was selfish, but that is a trait that he found himself portraying very often.
“You should go to her,” Finan muttered beside him, startling him. He hadn’t realised the Irishman was paying attention. Sihtric scoffed, in turn coming across a lot ruder than he had intended.
“She doesn’t want me near her,” Sihtric replied, his voice low, weighted with guilt.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.” He clenched his jaw. “I made sure of it.”
Finan's brows furrowed, "I thought you said that-"
Sihtric's cut his words with a raised voice. "I know what I said. It was partly untrue." He spat, his dark eyes still fixated on the ghost before him as he took a large swig from his ale.
Despite the growing volume throughout the alehouse, you had heard growing voices coming from the corner of the room. This grabbed your attention, as the bellow of deep voices usually meant that a disagreement was about to take place, one of your favourite ways of being entertained.
Your eyes darted to the corner, curious about the escalating exchange. For a moment, the faces were obscured by the dim light and shadows, but as you leaned slightly to get a better view, your heart stopped.
Sihtric.
Time seemed to slow as recognition hit you like a tidal wave. He looked almost the same—his jawline sharp, his dark hair slightly longer than you remembered, but it was him. The man who had unraveled you, who had left you broken and questioning your worth, was here.
And he was staring back at you.
You shook your head and closed your eyes. There no way that it was actually him, and you feared for your own sanity- not only was the thought of him haunting you, but now you were actually imagining him.
You opened your eyes once more, and there he was, still staring back at you. His head now tilted in slight confusion, seemingly because of your dramatic head shake. Your mouth opened, and your eyes widened. His facial expressions mimicked yours as you now stared at each other, pondering both your own and each others next movements.
Sihtric’s chest tightened as your eyes met. He hadn’t prepared for this, for the way seeing you would feel like both a punishment and a blessing. You were no longer the girl he’d left behind; you held yourself differently now, with a confidence that hadn’t been there before.
You did not know what to do. Three years ago, you would have marched up to him. You would have begged him, or slapped him and then slept with him. But that was no longer the woman that you were- you promised yourself you would not allow him to worm his way in again.
So, you stood up, downed your drink, wiped your face and made your way to the door- you had to get out of there.
Sihtric saw you rise up, and selfishly thought that you perhaps had the intention of approaching him. His heart however smashed into a million pieces when you ran towards the door and left.
“Do something,” Finan hissed under his breath, nudging him with an elbow.
Sihtric started panicking, for within his head he was having a battle; he wanted to run after you- he needed to run after you, but what if you didn't want him too? What if he was going to ruin you again?
Sihtric glared at him, his jaw working as he struggled to find the courage he had abandoned years ago. “I can’t,” he muttered.
“You’re a bloody coward,” Finan shot back, shaking his head in disgust. “You call yourself a warrior, but I’ve seen more fear in a frightened hare.”
The words stung, but Sihtric couldn’t deny their truth. He had fought battles, spilled blood, but facing you—facing the damage he had done—was a battle he didn’t know how to win.
He let out a deep breath and shot Finan a glare before using both of his fists to bang the table. He stood up firmly and ran after her, without any further thoughts of what he should actually say when he finds you. If he finds you.
The night air was sharp and cold, a contrast to the warmth of the alehouse. You stood a short distance away, your arms crossed tightly over your chest as you tried to steady your breathing. You couldn’t believe it. Sihtric. After all these years.
You cursed yourself for running. It wasn’t like you to flee from anything, let alone a man who no longer held power over you. And yet, the sight of him had stirred something you thought you’d buried—a mix of anger, longing, and an ache you couldn’t name.
Footsteps echoed behind you, hurried and uneven. Your heart leapt as you turned, and there he was, standing a few paces away, his chest heaving as though he had run the whole distance.
“Wait,” Sihtric called, his voice rough and low.
You stiffened, unsure of whether to stay or to leave. But something in his expression held you there—an almost desperate sincerity that made your throat tighten.
“What do you want, Sihtric?” you asked, your voice firm despite the storm of emotions brewing inside you.
He paused, his hands flexing at his sides as though searching for the right words. “I… I'm sorry”
You scoffed, your anger flaring. “You are sorry?” You shook your head. “Four years, Sihtric. Four years, and you just show up out of nowhere?”
“I didn’t plan this,” he said quickly, stepping closer. “I didn’t even know you’d be here. I hoped that you would. And then when I saw you…” His voice faltered, and he dropped his gaze to the ground. “I had to come after you.”
“Why?” you demanded, your voice rising. “So you can break my heart all over again? To remind me how stupid I was to believe in you?”
Sihtric felt sad, he had never evoked a reaction like this from you- he had never seen this side to you.
"No, so that I can tell you that I love you." His words fell from his mouth- he had never told anyone that he loved them before, and you had never thought you would ever hear him speak such emotions.
"You love me?" You laughed bitterly, before turning around, in order to stop yourself from hitting him.
He followed you though, refusing to allow you to look away from him.
"Y/N, I know that I was wrong, and awful and cold and you did not deserve any of it but I did not know myself, I had things that I had to learn and work on and think about." His words tumbled once again, full of chaos and pure emotion.
He grabbed your hands in the attempt to stop your pacing and look at him once again.
You stared at him, your anger still simmering beneath the surface. “And what? You’ve suddenly figured it all out now? After four years?”
“I don’t expect you to believe me,” he admitted, his voice softening. “I don’t even know if I deserve your forgiveness. But I’ve spent every single day thinking about you, about what I lost. You taught me how to love, and I was too much of a fool to see it then.”
His words hit you like a tidal wave, crashing over the walls you’d built around yourself. But the pain he had caused still lingered, sharp and unrelenting.
“You hurt me, Sihtric,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion. “You broke me in ways I didn’t think were possible. And now you just want me to forget all of that?”
Sihtric shook his head no, and used his index finger and thumb to clasp the bridge of his nose, in a strange attempt to calm his nerves. You shrugged before speaking once again. "I have moved on."
Sihtric stopped at your words, panic and anger flashing within his dark eyes. "You are with another?" He probed. You wanted to lie and say yes, but as your mouth opened you realised that you could not lie to him, even after everything.
"No, Sihtric." You breathed, in turn earning a sigh of relief from him. "You haunt me, Sihtric. I have tried being with others, and allowing them in but not one man on this earth compares to you, as much as I wish it wasn't the case."
Sihtric's breath hitched at your words, a flicker of hope mingling with the torment etched across his face. For a moment, he seemed frozen, his hands falling to his sides as he absorbed what you had just confessed.
“You don’t know how much I wish I didn’t haunt you,” he said quietly, his voice thick with regret. “But selfishly… hearing that I still do—it makes me feel like maybe there’s still a chance.”
You narrowed your eyes, your anger flaring again despite the ache in your chest. “A chance for what, Sihtric? For you to come back into my life and rip it apart again? I can’t keep doing th-"
efore you could finish your sentence, Sihtric closed the space between you in one swift, deliberate motion, capturing your lips with his. The kiss was unlike anything you’d experienced before—urgent yet tender, a raw outpouring of all the love, regret, and longing he had kept locked away. His hands cradled your face, his fingers threading into your hair as if anchoring himself to you, afraid you might slip away.
Your resistance melted in an instant. The passion in his kiss unlocked the ache you had carried for years, dissolving your anger and fear in a tide of longing. Your hands gripped his tunic, pulling him closer as you matched his intensity, your body betraying the walls you had worked so hard to build.
When he finally pulled back, his breath came in uneven gasps, his forehead pressing gently against yours. His eyes were wild with emotion, the faint glow of moonlight catching the unshed tears that clung to his lashes.
“I can’t lose you again,” he said, his voice trembling with raw vulnerability. "I refuse."
He grabbed you again, this time with accelerated desperation in his movement. The kiss was fire and confession, his hands moving to cradle your face with an almost frantic tenderness. His lips pressed to yours as though each moment could be his last, pouring into you the depth of his regret, the ferocity of his love, and the promise of a future he was desperate to build with you.
He suddenly pulled his face from yours, your eyes still closed from the passion of the kiss- everything was happening so quickly and you could not help but feel overwhelmed from all of the emotions that were being both confessed to you and stirring within you.
He dropped to one knee, his hands never leaving yours. Your breath hitched as his words came tumbling out. “I’ve spent four years haunted by the way I failed you. I’ve fought battles, faced death, and yet nothing has ever terrified me as much as losing you forever.”
You froze, your heart hammering in your chest. “Sihtric…”
“I know I don’t deserve this. I know I’ve hurt you in ways I’ll regret until my dying day,” he continued, his voice thick with emotion. “But I love you. I’ve always loved you, and if you give me this chance, I will spend the rest of my life proving it to you.”
#the last kingdom#tlk fandom#tlk fanfic#sihtric kjartansson#sihtric tlk#last kingdom#sihtric x you#sihtric x reader#sihtric fic#the last kingdom fanfic
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