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carocinematv · 4 years ago

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BAFTA 2020

British Academy of Film and Television Arts, anche conosciuti come gli oscar britannici, premiano annualmente le migliori produzioni cinematografiche al Royal Albert Hall di Londra. Quest’anno la cerimonia si svolta il 2 febbraio 2020 ed è stata presentata dal celebre conduttore tv e comico irlandese Graham Norton. Sul red carpet gran parte dello star system e del jet-set UK e non solo, accanto a star internazionali ed i duchi di Cambridge, Kate e William, presenti al primo evento mondano all’indomani dell’addio alla casa reale del Principe Harry e della definitiva rottura con l’Unione Europea.

Tutto sommato è stato un inizio 2020 piuttosto caldo per la politica britannica, una serata glamour ed ampi sorrisi non può certo stonare. I premi assegnati sono stati tantissimi, tanto per cominciare il premio per il contributo al cinema britannico, un riconoscimento alla carriera si può ben dire, è andato ad Andy Serkis, il primo seduto a sinistra nella foto di gruppo dei vincitori. Alcuni film si sono confermati un successo internazionale, ottenendo il secondo riconoscimento, dopo i Golden Globe di appena un mese fa.

Tra questi, a trionfare sicuramente 1917, di Sam Mendes, che si è aggiudicato ben 7 statuette, accostando ai premi già vinti ai Golden Globe, la maschera dei BAFTA 2020 per miglior regia e miglior film. La giuria britannica non si è limitata a considerarlo come il miglior film (dell’anno) ma ha scelto di ampliare il parterre di elogio premiandolo come miglior film britannico, per la fotografia, gli effetti speciali, il sonoro e la scenografia. Insomma, se non l’avete ancora visto, correte!

Il film evento del 2019, made in Corea, Parasite nonostante la candidatura come miglior regia e miglior film (dell’anno), si conferma anche a Londra come miglior film straniero ed aggiunge sulla mensola il premio per la migliore sceneggiatura originale.

E’ l’anno di Joker interpretato da Joaquin Phoenix come miglior attore, che nei suoi ringraziamenti ha fatto notare l’assenza di meritevoli colleghi di colore nella schiera dei nominati. Il villain della DC Comics aveva ottenuto 4 candidature ai Golden Globe vincendone 2 (miglior attore e miglior colonna sonora), gli stessi ottenuti anche a Londra, seppure le nominations fossero ben 10.

Altra conferma da Los Angeles per la miglior attrice: confermata Renée Zellweger anche dai cugini britannici. La sua interpretazione in Judy completerebbe la tripletta dei premi più prestigiosi al mondo con l’Oscar del 9 febbraio! Idem anche Laura Dern in Storia di un matrimonio e Brad Pitt in C’era una volta a… Hollywood per i ruoli da non protagonisti.

C’è delusione per l’ultimo film di Quentin Tarantino, C’era una volta a… Hollywood, a Londra. Stessa sorte anche per Martin Scorsese che, nonostante le 10 nominations per The Irishman, torna a casa a mani vuote.

Torno a gioire per Klaus, il film d’animazione nuovamente vincitore! La produzione Netflix ha saputo dosare l’arte dell’animazione e la magia del Natale in un prodotto eccellente e meritevole di tanto prestigio. La conferma del successo anche al BAFTA 2020 è una riprova della crescita che il cinema spagnolo sta vivendo, grazie – e soprattutto #imho – alla presenza del colosso mondiale dello streaming.

La mia personale delusione è per Piccole Donne, l’adattamento e la regia di Greta Gerwig avrebbe certamente meritato molto più del solo premio al miglior costume. La concorrenza è spietata sul fronte interpretativo (nominations per: miglior attrice protagonista per Saoirse Ronan, non protagonista per Florence Pugh) ma continuo a pensare che Piccole Donne non abbia rivali per colonna sonora di Alexander Desplat, BAFTA 2020 invece vinto da Hildur Guðnadóttir per Joker e sceneggiatura non originale della Gerwig, vinto da Taika Waititi per Jojo Rabbit.

Nell’attesa dell’ultima e più importante tornata di premi Oscar di domenica 9 Febbraio, lascio la lista completa di nominati e vincitori dei BAFTA 2020 per futura memoria:

MIGLIOR FILM

1917 THE IRISHMAN JOKER C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD PARASITE

MIGLIORI FILM BRITANNICI

1917 BAIT – L’ESCA FOR SAMA ROCKETMAN SORRY WE MISSED YOU I DUE PAPI

MIGLIOR DEBUTTO PER UNO SCENEGGIATORE, REGISTA O PRODUTTORE BRITANNICO

BAIT Mark Jenkin (Writer/Director), Kate Byers, Linn Waite (Producers) FOR SAMA Waad al-Kateab (Director/Producer), Edward Watts (Director) MAIDEN Alex Holmes (Director) ONLY YOU Harry Wootliff (Writer/Director) RETABLO Álvaro Delgado-Aparicio (Writer/Director)

MIGLIOR FILM NON IN LINGUA INGLESE

PARASITE Bong Joon-ho THE FAREWELL Lulu Wang, Daniele Melia FOR SAMA Waad al-Kateab, Edward Watts PAIN AND GLORY Pedro Almodóvar, Agustín Almodóvar PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE Céline Sciamma, Bénédicte Couvreur

MIGLIOR DOCUMENTARIO

FOR SAMA Waad al-Kateab, Edward Watts AMERICAN FACTORY Steven Bognar, Julia Reichert APOLLO 11 Todd Douglas Miller DIEGO MARADONA Asif Kapadia THE GREAT HACK Karim Amer, Jehane Noujaime

MIGLIOR FILM D’ANIMAZIONE

KLAUS Sergio Pablos, Jinko Gotoh FROZEN 2 Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee, Peter Del Vecho A SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE: FARMAGEDDON Will Becher, Richard Phelan, Paul Kewley TOY STORY 4 Josh Cooley, Mark Nielsen

MIGLIOR REGISTA

1917 Sam Mendes THE IRISHMAN Martin Scorsese JOKER Todd Phillips C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD Quentin Tarantino PARASITE Bong Joon-ho

MIGLIOR SCENEGGIATURA ORIGINALE

PARASITE Han Jin Won, Bong Joon-ho BOOKSMART Susanna Fogel, Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, Katie Silberman KNIVES OUT Rian Johnson STORIA DI UN MATRIMONIO Noah Baumbach C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD Quentin Tarantino

MIGLIOR SCENEGGIATURA NON ORIGINALE

JOJO RABBIT Taika Waititi THE IRISHMAN Steven Zaillian JOKER Todd Phillips, Scott Silver PICCOLE DONNE Greta Gerwig THE TWO POPES Anthony McCarten

MIGLIOR ATTRICE PROTAGONISTA

RENÉE ZELLWEGER Judy JESSIE BUCKLEY Wild Rose SCARLETT JOHANSSON Storia di un Matrimonio SAOIRSE RONAN Piccole Donne CHARLIZE THERON Bombshell

MIGLIOR ATTORE PROTAGONISTA

JOAQUIN PHOENIX Joker LEONARDO DICAPRIO Once Upon a Time… In Hollywood ADAM DRIVER Storia di un Matrimonio TARON EGERTON Rocketman JONATHAN PRYCE I due Papi

MIGLIOR ATTRICE NON PROTAGONISTA

LAURA DERN Storia di un matrimonio SCARLETT JOHANSSON Jojo Rabbit FLORENCE PUGH Piccole Donne MARGOT ROBBIE Bombshell MARGOT ROBBIE Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

MIGLIORE ATTORE NON PROTAGONISTA

BRAD PITT Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood TOM HANKS Un Amico Straordinario ANTHONY HOPKINS I due Papi AL PACINO The Irishman JOE PESCI The Irishman

MIGLIORI MUSICHE ORIGINALI

JOKER Hildur Guđnadóttir 1917 Thomas Newman JOJO RABBIT Michael Giacchino PICCOLE DONNE Alexandre Desplat STAR WARS: L’ASCESA DI SKYWALKER John Williams

CASTING

JOKER Shayna Markowitz STORIA DI UN MATRIMONIO Douglas Aibel, Francine Maisler C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD Victoria Thomas THE PERSONAL HISTORY OF DAVID COPPERFIELD Sarah Crowe I DUE PAPI Nina Gold

MIGLIOR FOTOGRAFIA

1917 Roger Deakins THE IRISHMAN Rodrigo Prieto JOKER Lawrence Sher LE MANS ’66 Phedon Papamichael THE LIGHTHOUSE Jarin Blaschke

MIGLIOR MONTAGGIO

LE MANS ’66 Andrew Buckland, Michael McCusker THE IRISHMAN Thelma Schoonmaker JOJO RABBIT Tom Eagles JOKER Jeff Groth ONCE UPON A TIME… IN HOLLYWOOD Fred Raskin

PRODUCTION DESIGN

1917 Dennis Gassner, Lee Sandales THE IRISHMAN Bob Shaw, Regina Graves JOJO RABBIT Ra Vincent, Nora Sopková JOKER Mark Friedberg, Kris Moran C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD Barbara Ling, Nancy Haigh

COSTUME DESIGN

PICCOLE DONNE Jacqueline Durran THE IRISHMAN Christopher Peterson, Sandy Powell JOJO RABBIT Mayes C. Rubeo JUDY Jany Temime C’ERA UNA VOLTA…A HOLLYWOOD Arianne Phillips

MIGLIOR TRUCCO E PARRUCCO

BOMBSHELL Vivian Baker, Kazu Hiro, Anne Morgan 1917 Naomi Donne JOKER Kay Georgiou, Nicki Ledermann JUDY Jeremy Woodhead ROCKETMAN Lizzie Yianni Georgiou

MIGLIORI EFFETTI SONORI

1917 Scott Millan, Oliver Tarney, Rachael Tate, Mark Taylor, Stuart Wilson JOKER Tod Maitland, Alan Robert Murray, Tom Ozanich, Dean Zupancic LE MANS ’66 David Giammarco, Paul Massey, Steven A. Morrow, Donald Sylvester ROCKETMAN Matthew Collinge, John Hayes, Mike Prestwood Smith, Danny Sheehan STAR WARS: L’ASCESA DI SKYWALKER David Acord, Andy Nelson, Christopher Scarabosio, Stuart Wilson, Matthew Wood

MIGLIORI EFFETTI SPECIALI

1917 Greg Butler, Guillaume Rocheron, Dominic Tuohy AVENGERS: ENDGAME Dan Deleeuw, Dan Sudick THE IRISHMAN Leandro Estebecorena, Stephane Grabli, Pablo Helman IL RE LEONE Andrew R. Jones, Robert Legato, Elliot Newman, Adam Valdez STAR WARS: L’ASCESA DI SKYWALKER Roger Guyett, Paul Kavanagh, Neal Scanlan, Dominic Tuohy

MIGLIORI CORTI D’ANIMAZIONE BRITANNICI

GRANDAD WAS A ROMANTIC. Maryam Mohajer IN HER BOOTS Kathrin Steinbacher THE MAGIC BOAT Naaman Azhari, Lilia Laurel

MIGLIORI CORTOMETRAGGI

LEARNING TO SKATEBOARD IN A WARZONE (IF YOU’RE A GIRL) Carol Dysinger, Elena Andreicheva AZAAR Myriam Raja, Nathanael Baring GOLDFISH Hector Dockrill, Harri Kamalanathan, Benedict Turnbull, Laura Dockrill KAMALI Sasha Rainbow, Rosalind Croad THE TRAP Lena Headey, Anthony Fitzgerald

EE RISING STAR AWARD

Si tratta del premio per stelle nascenti in ambito artistico, assegnato con voto del pubblico

MICHEAL WARD AWKWAFINA JACK LOWDEN KAITLYN DEVER KELVIN HARRISON JR.

#british academy of film and television arts #bafta 2020 #jojo rabbit #piccole donne #1917 #the irishman #cinema #cinema industry

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collectorscorner · 4 years ago

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Art Of Ghost Of Tsushima HC, $44.99

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Orville Season 2.5 #1 (Of 4)(Launch Day Part 1 Of 2)(Cover A David Cabeza), $3.99

Spy Island #1 (Of 4)(Cover A Lia Miternique), $3.99

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Spy Island #1 (Of 4)(Lia Miternique 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $3.99

True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys California Library Edition HC, $39.99

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Batman #98 (Cover C Jorge Jimenez Catwoman Card Stock Variant), AR

Batman The Adventures Continue #4 (Of 7)(Cover A James Harren), $3.99

Batman The Adventures Continue #4 (Of 7)(Cover B Ben Caldwell Card Stock Variant), AR

Booster Gold Future Lost HC, $39.99

DC Connect Checklist Poster #3, AR

DC Super Hero Girls Midterms TP, $9.99

DCeased Dead Planet #3 (Of 7)(Cover A David Finch), $3.99

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Dollar Comics Batman #663, $1.00

Dollar Comics Catwoman #1 (2002), $1.00

Dreaming Waking Hours #2 (Of 12), $3.99

Flash Savage Velocity TP, $39.99

Green Arrow The Longbow Hunters Saga Omnibus Volume 1 HC, $150.00

Hellblazer Rise And Fall #1 (Of 3)(Cover A Darick Robertson), $6.99

Hellblazer Rise And Fall #1 (Of 3)(Cover B Lee Bermejo), AR

Hellblazer Volume 23 No Future TP, $29.99

He-Man And The Masters Of The Multiverse TP, $17.99

Justice League #52 (Cover A Cully Hamner), $3.99

Justice League #52 (Cover B Nick Derington), AR

Powers The Best Ever HC, $29.99

Shazam #14 (Cover A Dale Eaglesham), $3.99

Shazam #14 (Cover B Dale Keown), AR

Spectre The Wrath Of The Spectre Omnibus HC, $125.00

Strange Adventures #5 (Of 12)(Cover A Mitch Gerads), $4.99

Strange Adventures #5 (Of 12)(Cover B Evan Doc Shaner), AR

Supergirl Cosmic Adventures In The 8th Grade TP (New Edition), $9.99

Teen Titan Beast Boy TP,

Young Justice #18 (Cover A John Timms), $3.99

Young Justice #18 (Cover B Derrick Chew Card Stock Variant), AR

DEVILS DUE

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Arkworld #1 (Cover B Kristopher Harris), $9.99

Arkworld #1 (Cover C Jenevieve Broomall), $9.99

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Corpse Talk Ground-Breaking Scientists GN, $12.99

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Corpse Talk Ground-Breaking Women GN, $12.99

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Lego Batman Vs The Joker HC (With Mini Figure), $16.99

DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT

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Green Hornet #2 (Cover C Anthony Marques Black & White Variant), AR

Nancy Drew And The Hardy Boys The Death Of Nancy Drew #4 (Cover A Joe Eisma), $3.99

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Red Sonja #19 (Cover A Jae Lee), $3.99

Red Sonja #19 (Cover B Joseph Michael Linsner), $3.99

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Vampirella #13 (Cover A Lucio Parillo), $3.99

Vampirella #13 (Cover A Lucio Parrillo)(CGC Graded Edition), AR

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Vampirella #13 (Cover E Krista Lee Cosplay Variant), $3.99

Vampirella #13 (Cover F Roberto Castro Bonus Variant), AR

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Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 50 HC (Chris Evanhuis Wynonna Earp Cover), $37.50

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Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 50 HC (Todd McFarlane Spider-Man Spawn Cover), $37.50

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Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 50 SC (John K. Snyder III Valiant Heroes Cover), $29.95

Overstreet Comic Book Price Guide Volume 50 SC (Todd McFarlane Spider-Man Spawn Cover), $29.95

GRAPHIX

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IDW PUBLISHING

Be Gay Do Comics TP, $24.99

Canto And The Clockwork Fairies #1 (One Shot)(Drew Zucker 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $3.99

G.I. Joe A Real American Hero #274 (Cover A Robert Atkins), $3.99

G.I. Joe A Real American Hero #274 (Cover B Jamie Sullivan), $3.99

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Godzilla Half-Century War HC, $29.99

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My Little Pony Transformers #1 (Of 4)(Tony Fleecs 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $3.99

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My Little Pony Transformers #2 (Of 4)(Cover B Casey W. Coller), AR

Sonic The Hedgehog #31 (Cover A Tracy Yardley), $3.99

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Reborn Volume 1 From The Ashes TP, $19.99

Transformers '84 Secrets And Lies #3 (Of 4)(Cover A Guido Guidi, $3.99

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Transformers Galaxies #9 (Cover A Umi Miyao), $3.99

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Transformers Vs The Terminator #1 (Of 4)(Alex Milne 2nd Printing Variant Cover), $4.99

Usagi Yojimbo (FCBD 2020 Edition), AR

Usagi Yojimbo Color Classics #7 (Of 7)(Cover A Stan Sakai), $3.99

Wellington #5 (Of 5)(Cover A Piotr Kowalski), $3.99

Wellington #5 (Of 5)(Cover B Robert Hack), AR

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cromulentbookreview · 4 years ago

Text

Cinderella! Dead?

And by that, I mean:

Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron!

I do love the Brothers Grimm fairy tales, because, well, all German students cut their teeth translating bits and pieces of the the Kinder- und Hausmärchen. You have never known true suffering until you’ve had to come up with an original translation for bits of Schneewittchen or Rotkäppchen. Oh the horror. I mean, it’s not as bad as doing original translations of Goethe, and definitely not as fun as translating Struwwelpeter - and that was only fun because I was the only person in my class who got that the stories were meant to be a satire on contemporary children’s morality tales. I mean, Mark Twain did his own English translation! The original byline was Lustige Geschichten und drollige Bilder mit 15 schön kolorierten Tafeln für Kinder von 3–6 Jahren (funny stories and amusing pictures with 15 color panels for children ages 3-6). Once you see the Struwwelpeter stories as parodies of sickly sweet moral lessons for kids, it’s pretty clear that the actual lesson of the Struwwelpeter story (don’t suck your thumbs or else a crazy dude with scissors will literally cut them off your hands) is more dark humor than actual story to teach your kids a lesson and -

Wait, where am I?

Oh. Yes. A blog where I review books. I should probably get on that.

So yes, Cinderella! A story known the world over, with thousands upon thousands of different versions across the globe. The oldest known being the tale of Rhodopis from ancient Greece, and the story of Ye Xian from China that dates back to the AD 860-850 or thereabouts, which itself is similar to stories found around Southeast Asia, like the story of Bawang merah dan bawang putih or the Vietnamese story of Tấm Cám and shit I wandered off again. Sorry. Fairy tale history is quite fascinating. Anyway, the first European version of the Cinderella story was published in Italy in 1634, but the story that we know best mostly comes from the 1697 French version by Charles Perrault in his Histoires ou contes du temps passé, avec des moralités (don’t look at me, I learned German, remember?). Perrault’s Cinderella story, Cendrillon ou la petite pantoufle de verre (Cinderella and the little glass slipper, thanks wikipedia!) features all of what we know of as the traditional Cinderella story: the evil stepmom and stepsisters, the ball, the glass slippers which sound both a) painful and b) super dangerous - seriously, how could you even dance in a glass slipper without breaking them and having shards of glass stuck in your feet à la Die Hard?

Anyway. Cinderella. Very traditional story, mostly French. The Brother’s Grimm version of Cinderella is...weird. Mostly because her name is Aschenputtel, which sounds like something you hack up with a phlegmy cough. (To be fair, though, that’s most German...). There’s also a magic bird instead of a fairy godmother, Aschenputtel’s father is very much alive and doesn’t seem to give two shits about how his new wife and stepdaughters treat his own kid and the slippers are made of gold instead of glass. Gold sounds a sight more comfy than glass, but also super heavy. How can you dance in shoes that weigh roughly 27 pounds / 12.4 kilograms each? That’s assuming that each gold shoe is roughly the same size and density as a standard gold bar and -

OK. Listen to Rihanna, Cromulent Book Reviewer. Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron!!

In the land of Marsailles, Cinderella is dead, and has been for the past 200 years. Her story hasn’t just become canon - it’s become law. Every year all girls at the age of sixteen must attend the mandatory royal ball, where the men are allowed to oogle them and pick out which one they want as a wife. The girls don’t get a choice in who picks them - once you’re selected by a man, you’re his, and if no one picks you, well...you’re only allowed to attend the royal ball three times before your family has to surrender you as a “forfeit.” Forfeits are never seen or heard from again. Attending the ball more than once is considered an embarrassment. And if you don’t want to get picked? Too bad. The girls of Marsailles have no choice - non-attendance will get you thrown in prison, and likely executed, while their families have all their possessions stripped from them. So...have fun at the meat parade, girls! Fingers crossed you don’t get picked by an abusive prick!

Sophia Grimmins (I see what you did there, Kalynn Bayron) doesn’t want to go to the Ball. All Sophia wants is to marry her best friend, Erin, and be free to have a future with her. But in Marsailles, being gay is not OK. It’s straight relationships only, Cinderella married a prince, and therefore, women can only marry men. Men marrying men and women marrying women? Forbidden. No not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars. Instead, go straight to forfeit town. Sophia pleads with Erin to try and escape their hometown of Lille and head off into Belgium the Forbidden Lands. But Erin doesn’t want to escape - she just wants to keep her head down, go through the whole disgusting selection process, and stay safe. Well, as safe as you can with a husband who is brought up to be an abusive, misogynist prick like many men in Marsailles. Seriously, with the exception of like, 3 characters, pretty much all the dudes in Marsailles are the worst. Not just the worst, but like,

Euch. And they’re the worst in a way that all women and girls will immediately recognize. Is it terrible that I’m kind of glad for the current pandemic because mask wearing has cut down the instances of strange men telling me to smile significantly?

Anyway, the day of the Ball has arrived, and with Erin refusing to escape, Sophia has no other choice - she has to go. Her parents have gone into debt to provide her with the best hair, makeup and dress in order to increase her chances at being chosen. Sophia’s parents know about her feelings for Erin, know that she’s always preferred to have a princess rather than a prince, but even though Sophia pleads with them to do something, anything to get her out of going to the Ball, they refuse. Her parents go full Mandalorian on her, telling her that this is The Way and she’d better just hope for the best.

Mando would NOT approve.

So Sophia ends up going to the Ball and it’s much worse than she could have expected. The dudes are gross, the king is gross, the whole damned system is gross.

Unable to stand it, Sophia makes a split-second decision: she’s going to run. She takes off in the middle of the ball, jumps out a window and escapes onto the palace grounds. Running blindly, she finds herself in an overgrown mausoleum which turns out to be the final resting place of Cinderella herself. There, Sophia meets Constance, a descendant of Cinderella’s supposedly evil stepsister, Gabrielle. Constance has been on the run, resisting the king’s awful laws for years. She tells Sophia that everything she’s been taught about Cinderella’s story is a lie. Constance offers Sophia a choice - escape with her and rebel, or return to Lille and face the consequences of fleeing the ball.

At first, Sophia chooses home. But when her parents make it clear they won’t do much to protect their now outlaw daughter, Sophia meets up with Constance and together they head off into the White Wood in search of Cinderella’s fabled fairy godmother, who may or may not be a witch and who also may or may not be still alive.

Oh man, I do love me a good story in which badass young women fight against the patriarchy. Cinderella is Dead is such a fun story - well, fun in that the misogyny and injustice rampant in Marsailles is both familiar and super scary, but fun in that Sophia looks that system square in the eye and goes “nope.” Cinderella is Dead is all about the power of story - how something as simple as a fairy tale can be used as a weapon to subjugate not just women and girls, but men and boys as well. The fairy tale made law doesn’t just keep women stuck in the role as princess, but men stuck in the role as prince, even if they, too, would rather run off with a prince than marry the princess.

Cinderella is Dead starts strong, though it does start to meander in the middle, before speeding up toward the end. Since this is a standalone book (hurray!! No getting suckered into a series this time! More standalones, please!) character development and world building is somewhat lacking, as there’s only so much you can fit into one book and seriously thank God this isn’t the start of another trilogy I have to keep track of, I’ve got way too many trilogies, duologies, quartets and never-ending serieses I have to keep track of right now. Anyway: yes, worldbuilding and character development are a bit shallow, but such is the way with fairy tales, only this fairy tales features a queer young woman of color burning the patriarchy to the ground. And that’s absolutely something I need more of in my life. Now let us go forth and burn the patriarchy, everyone!

RECOMMENDED FOR: All young girls. All of them. Boys, too. Anyone who has ever read a fairy tale, or been forced to translate Grimm fairy tales for German class, or Charles Perrault stories for French class.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone who has ever used the word “feminazi.��

RATING: 3.999 / 5

BADASSERY RATING: 500,000,000/5

RELEASE DATE: July 7, 2020. So...today! Hurray, I technically got this review done on time! Ahahahahaha the world is on fire what do you want from me.

CINDERELLA RATING:

#cinderella is dead #kalynn bayron #young adult fantasy #ya fantasy #feminist ya #lgbtq ya #own voices #cinderella #book review #smash the patriarchy

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number-one-micoverse-fan · 5 years ago

Text

A Son of Summer Storms

I friggin’ love fae lore and I love Micoverse so of course the second Em drew those fairy boys I was head over heels for it and had to write a thing.

This is soft and sweet and fluffy and I like it very much.

---------

Once upon a time, a little boy wandered into the forest alone.

It started out as an ordinary forest and it was an ordinary path he walked down. But the moment he strayed from that path and pushed his way through a dense wall of summer lilacs, the mortal world fell away and he was lost in Fairyland.

And the Green Country was no place for a mortal child.

"Hello, little boy!"

A cheerful voice made Milo stop in his tracks, looking around for the source. The trees in this part of the woods (for he had no idea where he had wandered yet) were tall and wide with age, their canopies the richest emerald green in the universe.

"Hello?" Milo called, turning on the spot, the underbrush crunching softly under his sneakers, "Who's there? If--if you try to kidnap me, I'll bite you!"

Someone giggled and Milo spun around to see a tall young woman leaning against the base of a tree. She certainly hadn't been there mere moments before and there was something about her thin smile that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

She was thin, almost bony, with sharp features and fluffy brown hair that almost looked like feathers with the way it lay across her shoulders. The tips of her hair were saturated a brilliant pink that contrasted sharply with the simple black dress she wore and her feet were bare despite the forest they both stood in. Sunlight filtering through tree leaves played odd patterns across her bare skin and Milo had to blink away the blurry images of feathers rustling down her arms and spreading from her neck.

"Who're you?" He asked bravely, chin in the air, all the bluster of a teenager and the arrogance of a human.

"You can call me Birdie~" The girl trilled, skipping over the forest floor with barely a sound, her footsteps light. Within moments she was well into Milo's personal space, leaning close to him, starring into his eyes, "And what's your name? I bet it's something...noble sounding."

Milo swallowed hard, acutely aware of how close she was and how hard his heart was beginning to pound in his chest. This close, Birdie's eyes were a bright red that blended easily into soft pink, flecks of gold flickering in the light. Her soft, pink lips were curled into a curious smile. Milo couldn't look away from her.

"Uh", His voice felt like it was getting stuck somewhere inside him, "Um, I...my name's--"

Something crashed loudly in the forest and Milo jumped, snapping his head around to the right. Everything was still, except for the twittering birdsong and the sound of rustling leaves. A hand curled around his shoulder and he turned back to Birdie to find her smiling warmly at him. Her eyes looked like rubies glittering in the faint shadows of the trees.

"It's rude not to tell a lady your name," She purred. The pad of her thumb swept across his jaw, coming to rest on his chin. He could feel the tip of her fingernail brushing his lower lip and heat crept up his face, making his ears burn. Where she touched him, his skin felt like it was on fire and it made his head foggy and his stomach hot. The rest of the world fell away and all he could see were her bright, burning eyes.

He sucked in a shaking breath, tasted something slow and sweet like honey on his tongue, “M-my name’s Mi—“

A bellowing roar shattered the thick tension that had blanketed the hair’s breadth space between Milo and Birdie. Milo jerked backwards, twisting to try and see what was coming for them out of the forest, but a hand clamped down on his shoulder, pinning him in place, something sharp pricking into his skin. He looked up and let out a strangled cry of fear; Birdie’s human appearance had warped. Brown and red feathers had sprouted from her skin, needle teeth filled her mouth, and her flesh had turned a steely gray. Milo screamed, trying to shove her away even as her long red nails sank into his skin through his hoodie and pulled him closer.

“BIRDIIIIEEEEEEE!”

A huge figure exploded out of the trees and smashed into Birdie. A meaty fist closed around her throat and tore her away from Milo, her claws ripping over Milo’s shoulder and shredding his hoodie. Milo was stumbled and fell backwards, clutching at his arm as blood welled hot and stinging through his fingers.

His savior was a creature that was almost as big as a tree with browned skin and dark hair. Two horns curled from the wreath of flowers and ivy that seemed to sprout from his skin and his lower half consisted of sleek brown fur over muscular digitigrade legs. A long tail with a tuft of dark fur lashed the air behind him and his enormous black hooves dug pits into the forest floor as he slammed the thing that Birdie had become into the trunk of a tree.

“I told you to stay out of my forest!” The huge man snarled, unconcerned by Birdie’s claws as they raked across his bare chest and over his arms. They didn’t seem to be doing much damage, “And assaulting a yearling—shame on you!”

“He’s fair game! He’s only a—ghrnk!” Birdie’s retort was cut off as the horned man pressed his weight into her neck, choking off her air.

“Last warning, Birdie. Come here again and I’ll pop your head off easy as a dandelion, I swear to Fates themselves! Now get out fo here!” The man hurled Birdie to the ground and she scrambled away from him, hacking and coughing. As Milo watched in terror and awe, the back of Birdie’s dress bulged until it tore, splitting down the middle and slipping off her thin frame as two, massive blood red wings unfurled from her back, a tail of feathers spilling out behind her. With a decidedly inhuman scream, Birdie launched herself into the air, beating her wings until she’d ascended above the canopy. Soon, she was out of sight and, eventually, even the heavy beat of her wings faded away.

Milo’s rescuer snorted, scraping a hoof across the dirt before he turned his attention to Milo. He instantly softened, a warm and friendly smile spreading across his face as he crouched down in front of the frightened teenager. Milo shrank away, half his hoodie stained in blood and fear making the wounds bleed faster as his heart thudded in his chest.

“Easy, little one, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m here to help. I’ll take you to someone who can heal your wounds for you,” And before Milo could get away the big creature had scooped him up in his broad arms, cradling Milo’s small frame to his broad chest, “You can call me Dan. This may be a bit of a rough trek but try to get some rest. You’re safe in my forest, on my word.”

Milo barely managed to get a out a breathless gasp before Dan made his way back into the trees. His footsteps were shockingly light for his size, his hooves barely disturbing the plant life beneath them as he ran. In his arms, Milo was barely jostled by the movement and, with the sudden peace that had befallen them, the shock and pain of what had happened truly began to set it. The jagged cuts on his shoulder were stinging horribly and pulsed with deep, throbbing ache, making tears well into his eyes and choke his breath. He was lost in a forest he didn’t recognize, had been attacked by a monster bird-lady, and was now in the arms of some kind of giant cow-goat-man.

Milo began to cry.

It was a strangled and choked sob that left his throat, something he desperately tried to smother down as the shock sank an ice cold stone into the pit of his stomach. Tears smeared across his cheeks as he turned his face and tucked it into Dan’s striped sweater, shivering with pain and confusion and fear. He kept his face hidden and his eyes closed until he felt Dan’s gait slowing and, through the iron stench of blood in the back of his throat, he caught the scent of sweet flowers and crisp water.

“Cad atá mícheart!?” Even with his vision blurred by tears, Milo could see the surface of the small pond Dan had stopped in front of ripple with the words that came clear and sharp from nowhere, “I smell blood!”

Milo gasped, pressing back into Dan’s chest as a figure rose from the water with barely a splash. They stood on the surface of the crystal clear pond as if it were solid glass, a robe of perpetually falling water was draped from their shoulders and arms, casting them in an outline of rippling crystal waters.

Dan crouched down at the edge of the pond, carefully depositing Milo into the soft grass and tiny clusters of flowers. Milo stared up at the figure who’d come from the water as he hurried forward, tiny splashes popping under his bare feet until he too was crouching over the teenager.

“It was Birdie,” Dan said, a little breathless, one warm and steady hand on Milo’s back, “She was playing her usual games with this youngling in the forest. You can heal him, right Jake?”

Milo swallowed hard, looking up into Jake’s eyes; they were a soft, pale blue, as cool and calm as a sunny day’s sky. Despite having just risen from the water, his blond hair was fluffy and dry, a crown of thin, crystalline spires rested on his head, and beads of translucent silver-blue hung from his ears and clung to his wrists like morning dew drops.

“Dan…” Jake said carefully, eyeing Milo with a curious sort of concern, “This is a human…”

“What? But…but he has a tail…”

Jake tore his gaze from Milo and looked up at Dan with a somewhat exasperated expression, “Dan, croí tairisceana, it’s fake. It’s attached to his sweater.”

“B-but he smells like fae!” Dan protested desperately. Milo looked between them rapidly, frightened and still very much bleeding out across the grass.

Jake’s eyes flashed as he turned back to the shivering teenager, leaning so close Milo could see the glittering, wave-like patterns running down Jake’s cheeks and curling around his neck. The tight navy leotard under that waterfall robe was iridescent and shimmered shades of cerulean and turquoise beneath the sunbeams and the reflections from the water’s surfaces. Milo shrank away from the man, watching him warily, sniffling and trying to contain his tears.

“Come on, now, little one, Dan and I aren’t going to hurt you.” Jake told him with a gentle smile, “My pond’s magical, I can heal you.” He slid his hands under Milo’s arms and lifted him into the cool waters, helping him rest against the edge as the water lapped at his chin. Milo clung to Jake’s arms, shivering, wincing at the stinging pain in his shoulder, afraid of going under the water and being unable to come back up.

“You can call me Jake,” His fingers were light, summer raindrops and midmorning mist, as they helped ease Milo out of his torn hoodie, “I’m a water fae. And this is my good friend Dan,” Milo watched as Jake handed the drenched shark hoodie over to taller creature still on the shore, “He’s an earth fae, has a particular affinity for flowers. This is his forest. So my questions for you, little shark, are what do we call you, what is a small mortal like you doing in the Green Country, and why, of all things, do you have a fae woven garment?”

Milo frowned at the ropes of dark red blurring and smearing away in the water before he took a deep breath. Steeling himself, he glared up at the water fae,

“I dunno where this Green Country place is or what you mean by fae garment or whatever. But name’s Milo and I’m looking for my dad!”

Jake blanched and Dan made a strangled noise on the shore, nearly dropping the thin wooden needle and hemp colored thread he’d been using to mend Milo’s hoodie. Milo immediately got the sense that he’d just done something very, very wrong.

“Buachaill dúr!” Jake hissed, ducking low in the water and looking around frantically. One the shore, Dan got up and began to pace the perimeter of the clearing, turning his head this way and that, “Don’t you know anything!? Giving your name out like that! Honestly!” The water rippled angrily around him for a moment or two before it stilled again and he let out a sigh, “It’s out there now and the wind will carry it away. If we’re not careful…nh. I suppose there’s…nothing for it…”

“What? What did I do? I don’t understand?” Milo straightened up in the water, edges of his damp hair clinging to his neck, panic twittering a frightened bird in the ribcage of his chest.

“Names have power, little shark,” Jake said in a low voice, sympathetic, genuinely concerned as he sifted thin streams of water between his narrow fingers, “Giving someone your name gives them power over you and not all fae are as kind as Dan and I. You should have given us a nickname or a false name. Anything but your real name.”

“How do you know it was my real name?” Milo challenged, sticking his chin in the air.

Jake looked at him with those crystal blue eyes and then said in a very soft voice, almost a whisper, “Milo.”

And Milo felt it.

He felt his own name reverberate in his chest, tug at something deep inside him that resonated through his bones and made his scalp tingle. It was as if someone had tugged on the very thread of his being. He felt like if they pulled any harder than he would come completely undone and would cease to be Milo at all. It left a sensation like fear that someone could know him so intimately, but somehow gave him comfort that anyone knew him like that at all.

It left him dazed and gasping, blinking stars from his eyes as Jake’s cool and gentle hands kept him from slipping under the surface of the water.

“That’s why you don’t give your name to fae,” Jake was all sympathy and soft touches, hoisting Milo out of the water and setting him on the grass as Dan came back from his circuit around the clearing, “Now, we need to get you back to the mortal world before—“

“I don’t want to go back!” Milo shoved Jake’s hands away with a scowl, “I’m looking for my dad and I’m not going back to the foster home until I find him!”

“Foster home,” Dan repeated, brow furrowing as he settled back down on the grass and picked up the hoodie again, “You don’t have parents?”

“All I have is that hoodie,” Milo nodded to the shark-tailed sweater Dan was still stitching up, “It’s the only thing my dad left me. I never even met my dad and my mom gave me up when I was real little. This forest—or, the forest I was in earlier?—was the last place my dad was seen. So I’m looking for him.” He wrapped his arms around himself and then blinked in surprise, peering at his shoulder, “Ah! My arm! It’s healed!”

“I did say my waters were magic,” Jake said smugly, leaning against the bank and resting his chin on his folded arms, “And I still think we should return you to the mortal world. It’s dangerous for humans to be in fairy country, especially now that you’ve said your name aloud.”

“And I said I’m not leaving!” Milo said stubbornly, “Unless you can help me find my dad, I’m not going anywhere!”

Jake looked helplessly at Dan who simply shrugged and snapped off the thread he’d been using. He handed the hoodie back to Milo who took it gladly and clutched it to his wet chest, grateful to have it back. He looked more relaxed now that he had it with him again.

“That sweater was made by a fae,” Dan said, tilting his head slightly, as if he were observing something curious to him, “It’s very special and carries a very strong magic. You should take good care of it.”

“I always do,” Milo said. And he meant it.

There was silence for a moment, filled with the sound of the forest around them. It was a weighted quiet, one where danger paced on the edges, just out of sight, in the shadows of the trees and on the distant horizon; an uncertain future. But in that moment, between the three of them, there was a comfort and companionship that was sprouting, a tiny bud of a blooming flower, still green and climbing from the shell of its seed. All it needed was to be nurtured.

“You should stay here for now,” Dan finally said and Jake snapped his head up, looking shocked at the suggestion, “It’s going to be dark soon and finding a way for you to get back will be too dangerous to do at night. You can’t go back the way you came in, so we’ll have to find a different path for you to take.”

“I’m not leaving,” Milo repeated with a huff, “But I’m not sleeping on the ground either.”

Dan chuckled, climbing back to his hooves,

“Then let me work a little magic…”

*****

It only took a little bit of gentle coaxing and some whispered words for the giant, old tree sitting right at the edge of the pond to billow out and up, forming a massive hollow in the base of its trunk. The grass smoothed itself down into a short, soft carpet, a short, rather fat tree melted itself into shallow sort of bowl that Dan packed with feather pillows and satin soft blankets, and sweet scented flowers curled into vines that draped over the entrance to give the little hut some privacy.

Milo was absolutely over the moon to see magic in action and he pestered Dan for several hours afterwards about how it was done. Jake laughed at the pair of them which drew Milo’s attention and the water fae soon found himself under a barrage of questions about his own particular magic. By the time it seemed Milo had exhausted his inquiries, the sky was turning soft pink and bruise purple and silver-white stars were beginning to show themselves against the blurring colors. The air was growing cooler, the tropical heat weather turning to an autumn night chill.

Once, and only once, was the pleasant atmosphere broken. Milo had wandered to the edge of the clearing, curious but unwillingly to stray too far from the two fae who had treated him so kindly. Dan and Jake were talking quietly to one another when Jake suddenly bolted upright and spun in his pond, flinging a hand out in Milo’s direction. A tendril of water snapped snake-like through the air, lashing itself around Milo’s wrist and dragging him away from the bush he’d been standing next to. The teenager stumbled, dropping the handful of berries he’d been about to pop into his mouth. He glared at Jake as the water fae had released him.

“What the hell’d you do that for?”

“Don’t. Eat. The food.” Jake said seriously, “Never eat the food in Fairyland. Or you will never, ever find your way home.”

Milo stared at him with an odd blankness, a faint crease between his brows that was a mixture of so many emotions it would have been impossible to give it a name. When he spoke, his voice was hollowed out and tinged with painful rot,

“I don’t have a home.”

*****

It was dark.

Milo had long since fallen asleep in the small house Dan had made for him, once again in his hoodie and wrapped in blankets. He was breathing softly in the quiet of the forest’s night sounds, only stirring occasionally in his dreams.

Dan watched him through the curtain of leaves and flowers for a moment, affection and concern and maybe a tinge of longing in his warm eyes. Then he turned away, tail swinging back and forth, his hoofsteps as soft as ever. Jake was on the opposite side of his pond from the little hut, acting like he was ignoring it even as it was clear he was keeping it in the corner of his eye. Dan crossed around the edge of the pond and settled down in the grass nearby. The surface of the water looked like a small patch of the sky, violet-blue-black and sewn with diamond stars, only disturbed every so often by a firefly’s flickering light as it darted across the pond. Pale white blossoms in the branches of the giant tree-turned-hut glowed in the moonlight, and the sounds of the night forest hummed a soft lullaby into the dark.

Jake was leaning against the bank again, lazily turning his fingers around some purple flowers that had opened their petals wide to drink in the night. Dan watched him for a long stretch of quiet time, neither of them speaking, just enjoying each other’s company, acutely aware of the mortal presence asleep on the other side of the pond.

“He shouldn’t stay here,” Jake murmured, his eyes lidded and almost tired looking. The crystals on his wrist shimmered with reflected starlight, almost like chips of ice in the night, “It’s not safe.”

“His name is on the wind,” Dan said with a heavy sigh, “He’s not safe anywhere. Even if we found a way for him to go back, some fae could still come through and snatch him.”

Jake looked solemn, dropping his hand from playing with the flowers and folding his arms to rest his head on them again. He opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, and sighed. A breeze rustled through the clearing, stirring up a scent like apple blossoms and sugar. The surface of the pond didn’t move.

“We could adopt him.” Dan offered and Jake shot up to fast he caused a wave to roll across his pond, splashing in on itself before it calmed again, “No, wait, Jake, hear me out, all right. He—he’s alone. He said it himself, he’s alone and he doesn’t have a home or a family.”

“Dan—“

“Jake! Listen! His name is already on the wind! He’s in danger as it is,” Dan sounded like he was pleading, “But—but if we adopted him, if we keep his name, then no one else can take him. And you and I both know we won’t…we wouldn’t…he wouldn’t be a thrall, Jake, he’d be safe.” Jake bit his lip, glancing towards the hut, nervously weaving his waterfall robe through his fingers, “He doesn’t have anybody. And he said he’d stay here anyway. If…if we can just do one good thing…Jake…we’d be…all he has…”

“His world,” Jake’s voice was low, careful, afraid, “We’d be his world, Dan. We’d have to—do you know what that would take. This place…it’s not for humans. Even if he has that sweater, this place will eat him alive if it can.”

“We’ll teach him.” Dan said resolutely.

“He’d need to learn of the Courts, of where he’s not to cross, of how to speak to fae so they can’t own you.”

“We can do this, Jake.

“Dan!” Jake sounded desperate, his gaze searching, his mind grasping for a reason why this was wrong, why they shouldn’t do this, why they should forget the boy and leave him to the mortal world. But he’d known the second Dan had suggested it that he wanted to protect that little boy. A child, abandoned and alone and hurting, blessed with a fae gift he didn’t know the origins of, unafraid of the wonders and dangers of the Green Country. A brave and noble soul like the knights of old legend.

“Maybe we could find his father…” Jake said, more to himself than to Dan. But his friend answered anyway.

“You know he’s probably a fae, right? His dad is probably fae so—“

“He’s probably here somewhere.” Jake sighed, shoulders slumping in a defeat that had happened long before, “All right. All right, we’ll take his name. Tá mé ró-shean le haghaidh seo…”

Dan chuckled, his smile bright in the dark, tail flicking happily in the grass.

They both turned to look at the hut where, behind a curtain of sweet, colorful flowers, in the quiet belly of an old tree, protected by magics as old as time, was a little boy with fire red hair and lightning in his soul who had wandered into the forest alone.

The little boy, Milo. The son of summer storms.

--------------

Translations: Cad atá mícheart!? = What’s wrong!? croí tairisceana = tender heart Buachaill dúr! = Stupid boy! Tá mé ró-shean le haghaidh seo... = I’m too old for this...

#micoverse #fan fiction #family

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falpiancaraxus · 5 years ago

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FAHC GAVIN headcanon

Im picturing gavin as rose gold, white gold and black gold before he became the golden boy

Back in England, when SMG was just known in the criminal world, gavin was known as Rose Gold.

Rose Gold was a great hacker. Say it. He can hack into anything. But rose gold was still timid, hiding behing his advanced computer 24/7. But doesnt mean you can f with him. Sure, he had Dan The Man. The Mercenary behind his back. His B who will always obey what gavin told him to do. But damn he will mess with you through his computer and you will regret everything you did to him.

When he became one of the fakes, he met Geoff and Jack. His tutors. The one who taught him how to be more than just a hacker. That was the moment White Gold was born. The hacker and the spy. White Gold can slipped into the most guarded base and will get whatever he wanted. He can slit your throat without you noticing a single sound. A person who done his work efficiently and quietly.

Then the fakes recruited the explosive Mogar, the fearless Vegabond and the precise BrownMan. They became more known around the criminal worlds. And people stop thinking Gavin more than just a hacker and Gavin lets them. After all, he had the others, why would he needs to do the dirty works?

But then a heist gone wrong and the fakes were captured by an enemy - all but one. Gavin. He managed to escape the capture. Gavin watched (as he hacked into the enemy base) as his family were tortured for information when they realised Gavin wasnt with them. In that exact moment Black Gold was born. Black Gold was the merciless hitman. He had the unbeatable hacker skill as he hacked the security, planning thrice for escape plan for perfection and digging every info about every enemy member that capture the fakes without missing a single one. He had the stealth of a ninja when he infilterated into the enemy heavily guarded base with such an ease that could bring great shame to the enemy. Black Gold was merciless to the person who mess with him. Theres not a single living body when he's on his way to rescue his family. Theres not a single life left as the fakes left the building. Corpses and blood smeared the floor. And no one will believe that it was a work of a single person.

Mogar, the Vagabond and BrownMan stared at Gavin with such shock when he saved them that it seemed so comical to him that he laughed hysterically. Geoff and Jack smirked at him.

Since then, Gavin was called the Golden Boy. But the fakes were the one who knew the meaning behind them. Even Dooley didnt know the true meaning after he became one of the member. And they let it be. After all, its easy to kill someone when they didnt realised the knife at their throat.

And the world know the Golden Boy, the fakes hacker but they didnt know about the Golds behind his name.

#golden boy gavin #fahc gavin #fahc geoff #fahc ryan #fahc jack #fahc ray #fahc michael #fahc jeremy #rose gold gavin #white gold gavin #black gold gavin

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jemej3m · 6 years ago

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To the Good Place We Go (p.2)

part two! (sorry about errors totally didn’t read over this)

credit goes to @gluupor for the idea! link to their the good place au here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782301

warning: aftg typical violence

part one here: http://jemejem.tumblr.com/post/182518320202/to-the-good-place-we-go

“I don’t belong here.” His voice shook. He imagined his father was looking up from the Bad Place, grinning like the mad-man he was. Neil was delivering himself into hell, because it was the right thing to do. His morals had been warped and distorted on Earth. If he was going to spend eternity suffering, he might as well make himself feel better by doing it honourably.

Also, he wanted to prove Andrew wrong. But that was besides the point.

Three-hundred and twenty-one residents, an omnipotent ethereal being and a walking Wikipedia stared at him in shock.

“Well.” Wymack clapped his hands together. “Dismissed, everyone!” He crooked a finger at Neil, and he felt his heart clambering to get out of his chest as he shuffled forward. He tried not to flinch as Wymack’s fingers brushed over his shoulder, and in less than a blink, they were standing in his office. Wymack rounded the desk and grabbed a stress ball off the desk and propping his feet up on the oaken edge, throwing it up and catching it repeatedly.

“Well?” Wymack offered him the chair. Neil sat. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I didn’t try to get in or hack the system somehow.” Neil murmured. “I’m not a mole. It’s a complete mistake.”

“Ha. A human, hacking into the universe? Very interesting. Very impossible. You humans are so strange.” He caught the ball, took his feet off the desk and leaned forward. “Neil Josten, you’ve been chosen as a candidate for MPP. The Middle Place Project. Nicky!”

“Yes?” Nicky had blooped into existence next to him.

“Strike Neil Josten off the Test One list.” Wymack’s smile was small but warm.

“That was a test?” Neil said testily. Wymack held out his hands.

“Honesty is an integral part of being a good person. You, out of everyone, are the most practised liar. Eight years on the run, twenty-two identities—I’m surprised you aren’t having an identity crisis.”

“Same.” Neil muttered. In all honesty, he was glad to have died as Neil Josten. Neil Abram Josten. Out of everyone he’d been, Neil was his favourite.

“If you can come forward, in front of the entire neighbourhood nonetheless, then I’m sure the rest will follow.” He cleared his throat. “The Middle Place Project is proving that humans are capable of change, whether it be improving, or failing. There’s a few in the midst of the neighbourhood that we’re watching to see whether or not you can improve from your characteristic behaviours on earth.”

“Will we get into the Good Place if you do?”

“Maybe in five-thousand years.” Wymack promised. “If I can manage to convince my superiors of your genuine progress.”

“Right.” Neil drawled. “Five-thousand years. No biggie.”

He glared at Neil with intense scrutiny, but somehow, Neil was unafraid of this ethereal being. He was giving Neil a chance, wasn’t he?

“Well?” Wymack grouched. “What are you still doing here?”

“What am I supposed to—“

“Figure it out, Josten. Just don’t tell anyone it’s a test. Got it?”

He pursed his lips. “Cool. Yeah. Got it.”

Wymack watched him, unimpressed, as he shuffled towards the door. Neil shot Wymack a quick grimace as he slipped out.

He blew his bangs out of his face with relief. Andrew stood in the waiting room, arms crossed and eyes barely slits. “So?”

“I’m alive.” He twinkled his fingers. “See?”

“Actually,” Nicky piped up.

“Shut up, Nicky.” They both ground out.

“Test forty-seven!” Wymack clapped his hands. “We’re finally getting into the good stuff. Ethical responsibility!”

Neil threw a troubled glance at Andrew, who, of course, stared impassively back. Ethics?

“What’s sitting in a classroom gonna do about our ethics.” Seth grunted.

Neil had decided he disliked Seth intensely. It was something about the constant fits of anger, irrational judgements and toxic intolerance to everything that wasn’t Allison’s tits or Adderall.

“Well, actually,” Kevin chided. Wymack snapped his fingers, effectively muting Kevin. The young man tried to scream in horror, but slumped in his chair with defeat.

“We’re going to be learning about some of your moral philosophisers and interpret what they had to say about what’s right and wrong. How about some basic questions, hm? Just to gage where each of you at.”

This wasn’t going to go well.

It was fine, wasn’t it? They had, what, five-thousand years?

“These first few should be simple.” Wymack picked a clipboard off his desk. “Let’s see. Neil?”

He looked up at the towering, omnipotent being. “What?”

“Is murder good or bad?”

Neil shrugged. “Depends.”

Wymack looked a little dismayed. “Andrew?”

Andrew jerked his thumb at Neil. “What he said. For example, Seth is a perfect example of why murder isn’t always bad.”

Neil grinned at him, and liked the way a spark of amusement glinted in his eye. Seth was probably clambering out of his chair to haul himself at Andrew in a fit of rage, but Neil wasn’t watching. He simply appreciated the sunlit hair that shone like spun gold, and the perfect understanding shared between them.

Their benevolent guardian simply dragged a hand over his face as his classroom dissolved into chaos.

“Good morning, son.”

Neil opened his eyes slowly. He was sleeping in a double bed, his double bed, in his cottage. In the afterlife. He was in the Middle Place. His name was Neil Josten. He had died at the age of 19. He played striker. His soulmate was Andrew Minyard.

Sitting upright, he saw Andrew standing at the opposite end of his bed. There was a young man standing behind him with a vicious glean to his eye; He had his chin hooked over Andrew’s shoulder.

Andrew was gagged, hands cuffed behind him. His feet were bare: His skin shone with sweat as his muscles convulsed. There were bruises blossoming under his skin: He’d put up a serious fight. How was he bruising? Could you be hurt in the afterlife?

“I said, good morning.”

Slowly, Neil craned his neck around. All six-feet of his father were craned over the edge of his bed, one fist denting the mattress and the other wrapped around Neil’s neck. He was looking at a mirror image, the eyes and the hair and the sadistic smile. Thick fingers tightened around Neil’s windpipe.

“Young Drake Spear was promoted to help me. It’s time to collect our rewards for such excellent work down in the Bad Place.” His grin was that of a wolfs.

“Fitting.” Neil wheezed out. Honestly, he was terrified. The thought of eternity trapped with the unending methods of his father was enough to wish that there was a way for Neil to die and end up in a further layer of the afterlife.

His father only laughed. The last thing he remembered noticing was Andrew closing his eyes. For a moment, it looked as though an angel was praying.

Dan crouched down, back to the wall. In her hand was a magnetic clamp, ready for Bad Nicky. It’d render him useless, and they couldn’t let Nathan Wesninski, Drake Spear or Riko Moriyama have access to him. They were powerful enough as it was.

Kevin was bone-white beside her. It had to have been years since he saw Riko Moriyama. Neil and Andrew weren’t the only ones facing their old demons today.

The man who’d stabbed Dan in the back had been boiling in a pit of acid. The demon in charge of the tank flashed a grin at her. “Want to join him?”

Aaron’s mother had leapt out at him from a shuffling line of prisoners, grabbing for fists of his hair and screaming. She hadn’t been able to tell which twin it was, mixing up the names as she spasmed with hysteria. Aaron had clutched his arms to his stomach and hurried away.

With Dan and Aaron’s close calls, Renee knew it was every possibility that her old gang leader had heard the commotion the group had caused and would want to connect with the girl who ended his life in a knife fight. Renee was clutching her rosary, praying as every demon brushed by her.

God, was Dan exhausted. Matt, Aaron and Seth had all been lured with narcotics. Then Matt got into a fight with a security guard, and Seth backed him up. Then someone insulted Allison as she was trying to flirt her way through a checkpoint, and she’d clawed their eyes out with her nails, but gotten bust up at a result.

So yeah. Not a great time for any of them.

“This is it, kid.” Wymack warned. “We’ve got a window of thirty seconds to get them out of there.”

Dan nodded.

A young man left the room, meaning Bad Nicky was watching over Andrew and Neil. Dan rolled out from her hiding position and bolted at the black-clad man standing in front of her. She whacked the cuffs on, stunning the look of contempt right out of those big brown eyes. He stumbled, turning around to look at her.

“Oh my god,” Allison cackled. “Bad Nicky is a straight, fuck-boy version of Nicky?”

It was true. He was wearing a flat-cap, backwards, and a big grey hoodie underneath a leather jacket. His jeans were torn and he wore stupid, stereotypical boots. He had a tattoo of a girl with her tongue between her fingers on his neck, and a gold-capped tooth.

“Hell.” He slurred. “You got me. Ha-aahh.”

Nicky was staring at himself with horror. “Disgusting.”

“Andrew,” Kevin faltered. “Where’s Neil?”

Andrew was sitting up, both hands chained to the bedposts behind him. He was blindfolded, his clothes in tatters and bloodied. Aaron rushed forward, dragging Nicky with him. The chains were cut and Dan watched Aaron murmur something to Andrew as he tore his blindfold off.

“We have to go.” Andrew said, fierce. Dan had never seen him so angered. “I know where Neil is.”

Matt grabbed bad Nicky and hauled him over his shoulder. The group filed out, lead by Andrew, Aaron surprisingly right on his heels. Despite the obvious abuse, he was legging it down the hallway. With the chaos of the Bad Place, the rag-tag team and their badges had looked like nothing more that a bunch of demons. With a Bad Nicky incapacitated and over Matt’s shoulder, they were running out of time. Andrew somehow had perfectly memorised the route to Neil’s cell.

They were almost there, when Andrew staggered to a holt. The young man they’d seen leaving the room earlier was standing in front of them. Aaron acted too quickly, brandishing a knife and jumping the guy. The knife buried itself into the man’s chest. Dan gasped.

“I won’t let him touch you again.” Aaron promised his twin. “Go.”

Andrew said nothing, instead shoving his way through a metal door on the left just metres past.

The demons present whirled upon their entrance. Dan felt her blood boil as she saw Neil in a chair, head hung. He couldn’t even lift his head to see who’d appeared.

“Wesninski, these humans are mine.” Wymack growled. “Give them back. They’re official property of the Middle Place.”

“Oh, oops.” The man—who did look scarily similar to Neil—grinned at the younger boy. Riko Moriyama. “It’s almost as though demons have to follow rules. Incredible.”

Riko had no eyes for anyone but Kevin. Kevin, who stood with his chin up and broad shoulders as he stared the other boy down.

“I’ll oversee your retirement myself, you rotten sack of sadistic fuckery.” Wymack snarled, stepping forward with Nicky at one side and Andrew at the other. “Back down. Now.”

“Kevin, Kevin, Kevin.” Riko clucked his tongue. “It’s so nice to see you. Such a shame that we’re opposed like this, brother.”

“I’m nothing like you.” Kevin rasped. “I’m going to go to the Good Place.”

“Why bother?” Riko leered. “When you can have so much more power, down here? They recruit the worst, you know. I was just human too. Now look at me.” He lifted his hand, and Neil spasmed, head flung back and mouth open in an aborted scream.

That was the precise moment that everything went to shit — as if everything hadn’t already gone to shit. Wymack launched at Wesninski: Andrew was hurling towards Riko, and the rest were attempting to shut the door on the copious amounts of demonic spawn trying to get a better look.

Dan was desperately trying to get someone’s attention but the only one who listened to her was Renee. That was ultimately futile, because Allison was thrown aside and Renee, obviously lost her shit. Even the faithful had their breaking points.

Kevin was desperately clawing for Neil to break him free: Andrew was brawling with Riko with a desperation that had Riko shaken, Wesninski was waving a knife in Wymack’s general direction, Matt was thrown over a demon’s shoulder and causing a ruckus, Seth was yelling and Allison was wiping furious tears off her face, snatching a knife off Renee.

Wesninski threw the knife. Riko threw himself at Neil. The door was thrown open.

“ENOUGH.” Nicky screamed, standing in the middle of the room.

Everyone froze.

“I’ve been through a lot, today!” Nicky’s voice was so shrill that Dan would have winced if she weren’t completely stiff. “I’ve hauled almost a dozen of you shits through portals, this way and that way. I’ve been running faster than I’ve ever had to run in my life, because I don’t run, I teleport! My husband’s disappeared because he wasn’t compatible with the Bad Place, I’m not meant to be this emotionally distraught because I’m just a machine, and now this?” He gasped. “I. Am. Flabbergasted. It’s my favourite human word, and that’s what I am right now. Not only have you—“ He pointed to Wesninski. “Defied basic laws by having a child with a human, you’ve been recruiting humans! Gracious, do you know the worst part of this entire shit-fuckery?” His voice raised into a scream once more. “I have to live out the rest of my eternal existence knowing that Bad Nicky is a straight fuck-boy!”

“That’s the worst part?” Neil said, weakly, his voice raw with screaming. “Well, gee, Nicky. I missed you too.”

“So,” Nicky continued. “I’m going to unfreeze my friends. Friends. F-R-I-E-N-D-S. And we’re going to leave. And am going to report your demonic asses to the new Lord Ichirou of the underworld, and I hope you live in agony for eternity. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” He snapped his fingers and Dan almost collapsed, if it weren’t for Matt holding her up. “We’re leaving.”

Andrew hauled Neil to his feet, clutching the taller boy to his side in a fit of possessiveness.

Dan stood by the door as she counted her crew out of Neil’s cell, watching Nicky carve an angry path through the mob of frozen demons. She glanced over her shoulder to see Kevin glaring at Riko.

“Kevin,” Dan started.

The man slapped Riko so hard that Riko’s head shifted, even with Nicky’s freeze power. Or whatever the fuck that was.

“You deserve so much worse than hell.” He said, calmly, before marching out the door. Dan followed him, squeezed his shoulder. His look was not as confident as he’d been momentarily ago, but he offered her a shaky smile.

“Let’s go home.” Wymack said, tiredly slinging an arm around Nicky’s shoulders.

They all smiled faintly, and with a nod, they were on their way home.

“How’d you do in the Trolley exam?”

Andrew glared at the sun. It was still peering over the horizon, the endless rolling hills, trying in vain to grasp a few more minutes of illumination. It turned the sky into a brilliant palette of purples and blues.

He wanted to shove Neil off the roof of this stupid house, but he probably wouldn’t even break a bone. He had been sleeping in Neil’s grossly cramped cottage for a few months, where there was only one room and Andrew had been donated the couch. They’d razed Andrew’s old house to the ground a few weeks back. That had been great fun.

The reason he wanted to shove Neil off was murky, but he knew part of it was because Neil provided him a tether: To stay in the Middle Place, to try and achieve Good Place status with everyone else, to stop himself from marching down and delivering himself into greedy hands. It didn’t matter if Drake and Wesninski and Riko were gone. Hell would still suck.

He hated it.

But he also couldn’t cut the rope.

“I ran you over. It was very satisfying.”

They corner of Neil’s mouth quirked. Andrew hated that too. He hated Neil’s stupid red curls and brilliantly blue eyes. They were sparkling in the sunset, each freckle and scar glossed with a decadent shade of gold. “What was it between?”

“You and nothing. I think I’m a bit behind in class.”

Again, the quirk of the mouth.

Truthfully, the choice had been between Neil and Aaron. Because they were all already dead and this was just a theory, Andrew knew it didn’t matter. But still, he’d found himself torn. Usually apathetic and uninterested, he was placed in the simulation and felt a strange thrumming in his. ear. His heartbeat. Quickening.

Aaron was his brother. He had promised Aaron protection. Aaron had gotten them both killed. Aaron ignored his conditions and went out with Katelyn, and lied about it. Aaron was his brother. Andrew died protecting Aaron from their mother. Aaron had stabbed Drake for him. Aaron was his brother.

But Neil was his other. Neil listened. Neil smiled. Neil was honest with Andrew. Neil was relaxed with Andrew. Neil looked at Andrew in a way that made Andrew felt as though he was coming undone, unravelling at the seams. Neil could see Andrew. Neil understood Andrew.

He’d only had a split second left to decide.

He’d chosen Neil over Aaron.

“Yes or no?”

Neil narrowed his eyes. “To what?”

“A kiss.”

The word sounded so delicate out of Andrew’s mouth. He felt delicate, exposed and raw to Neil’s understanding gaze. All this studying of ethics and morality and those stupid philosophers was getting to Andrew’s head. The question yes or no was balanced on a scale, the decision between forever and never ultimately resting on Neil’s final answer. Andrew fucking hoped it was a yes.

Death made one’s apathetic resolve melt like ice sometimes.

Gosh, he was a miserable forking sap. It was disgusting.

Neil smiled, so hesitant that it was almost unnoticeable. But Andrew saw it. Maybe Andrew understood Neil, too. “Yes.”

Fork the Good Place. Andrew was already there.

once again, credit goes to @gluupor /// link to their the good place au here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782301

hope u enjoyed!

#the good place #neil josten #andrew minyard #the good place au #andreil #the foxes #all for the game #aftg #david wymack #dan wilds #the foxhole court #part two #jem writes

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androidoyunclup · 7 years ago

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 6 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/3368-2/

Taurus at the Speed of Sound ~ May Monthly Horoscope

by Eric Francis

Dear Friend and Reader:

Earlier this week, we experienced the first of seven Sun-Uranus conjunctions in Taurus (that was Monday, April 22). News events are moving at a dizzying pace, and defy comprehension. At the time I’m writing this article on April 25, it’s been just over a week since the Notre Dame Cathedral fire, and a week since the release of the redacted version of the Special Counsel’s report. It seems more like a month.

As of this writing, there are now 20 Democratic presidential candidates, with Joe Biden’s entry into the race. Also today, Russia’s president Vladimir Putin met Kim Jong-un, the Korean leader, for a summit meeting in China. Putin is moving in on a power vacuum abandoned by Trump’s failed attempts at courting diplomacy with Kim.

Texas executed John William King for the 1998 killing of James Byrd, the first time in modern Texas history that a Caucasian man was executed for the death of an African American man. This was the infamous dragging death by a white supremacist.

Pres. Trump denied that he ordered then-White House Counsel Dan McGahn to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller III. He said that McGahn had lied to the Special Counsel about this during the investigation.

McGahn, one of the star witnesses in the Special counsel’s investigation, has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress, but Trump brought a personal lawsuit to block his testimony. The president also vowed to fight any subpoena of documents or testimony by congressional oversight committees, in effect daring the House of Representatives to impeach him.

On that note, if he is impeached, Trump said he would fight it at the U.S. Supreme Court. He is clearly referencing his impression that he would get a 5-4 win on any case he brings, but there is no such course of action provided for under the Constitution. (What actually happens during an impeachment is that the chief justice presides over the trial, with the Senate serving as the jury.)

Contents of the report of the Special Counsel, 448 pages long, are gradually percolating through the news. The report details the astonishing extent of Russian meddling in the election, which came in the form of a social media propaganda campaign dating to 2014, and hack and dump operations of email and confidential documents stolen from formal Democratic Party offices and Hillary Clinton’s personal office.

Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law, this week falsely summed up the operation Wednesday as consisting of “a couple of Facebook ads.”

On the Personal Side of the Equation

We live in a restless time. I keep reading articles about the impact of lack of sleep and sleep hygiene. Part of this impact is coming from being inundated by radio waves, which are invisible light waves; these burn melatonin. So too does exposure to blue light, which is a fact of looking into screens all day.

But there is something more, a sense of agitation, nervousness and fear, as if we’re heading toward an edge that we cannot see.

Despite all the discussion about global warming and climate change, collectively our societies are doing very little about it. Economic success is still measured in growth — corporate profits and the value of the stock market. Many people are struggling — really struggling — to make ends meet as everything gets more and more expensive.

Economic woes are always an issue; we hear about them in good times and bad. But we are living in the New Gilded Age, when there are more billionaires than ever before. Money is energy, and much of it is stagnant at the moment, as companies and individuals hang onto huge cash reserves. There is fear of loss and little imagination about what to do with vast sums of wealth that exist.

As I’ve written many times, my studied impression is that the internet is what is driving consciousness: the sensation of what it feels like to be alive right now. Inundation by internet is the primary factor behind the social crisis, the anxiety epidemic, the sexless relationships, and a general state of psychic chaos.

Reader Responses: Uranus in Taurus

I recently asked my readers how they were responding to Uranus in Taurus. Here is a sample of the responses:

“It’s quite an upheaval. My trust in God has increased and at times is still quite tested. Due to a lingering concussion that hasn’t healed I haven’t worked for several weeks. I am far out on a limb in completely new territory. I have a sense that I am learning many things that I’ve needed to learn for a while. I am also in brand new territory that’s missing some of the old markers.”

lived at ages 4-6, (big stir), all the moving from home to home before I was in 5th grade… my inner sense of personal sovereignty and authority has had its challenges as I feel that speaking in honesty and truth can fucking stir lots of pots. It seems to put people I care for in uncomfortable wonder about my authenticity in relationship to them, cause I’m challenging them.”

“Quite a lot has shifted for me but the one that really stands out is as a 57 year old man who is pretty conservative in physical expression and exercise, I started going to a weekly free form dance and have progressed from slow soulful movement to full on dance machine!”

“Everything about personal awakening resonates, though that started about 3 years ago. Building on that theme now, Uranus seems to be about burning through convention to see what remains, like the alchemical calcination phase, and using what’s left to (re)build something new. This is showing up in my career, which is being guided towards creating a new, spiritually-based business model from what survives the fire.”

“On the 15th my shelf of greenware fell over and every piece broke. My shelf of essential oils came out of the wall; luckily only one bottle broke. I found myself reading about broken vessels, specifically oil bottles and the shards with drops of oil representing light and the connection to everything. But the break through this week, and I think that is what Uranus in Taurus is offering, is that these material things do not matter except for what they represent. Throwing pots is a meditation for me. It is the process that is important, not the creation of the material, but the creation of the spiritual body. Part of my path, it seems, is renunciation or detachment to the material plane. Creation of the spiritual body is most important. I also learned that you cannot have a loving connection to others without a loving connection with God/creator.”

Beltane New Moon Coming May 4

The Beltane New Moon on May 4 is an intriguing chart. I’ll have more to say about it in Monday morning’s edition, and in the upcoming Planet Waves FM (where I will continue my coverage of the Special Counsel’s report, and ignoring the presidential race). The horoscope below is based on the Beltane chart — shown in the graphic below.

With love, Eriv

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demomeister · 2 years ago

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nathfiset · 2 years ago

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collectorscorner · 4 years ago

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All over the world In 80 Days Through Jules Verne Download Digital book.

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