#damn. maybe they wouldve been if you actually talked to them about it instead of assuming how theyd react.
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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Some of yall are really like:
Someone who hasnt condemned this person i dont like yet? Clearly that means they actually like them or dont mind their behavior, even if they dont actually know the person or any controversy around them
Someone doesnt eat meat? An eco fash who hates native people and ppl who cant not eat meat.
Someone consumes media i find problematic? That secretly means they agree with everything some of the characters/the creator believes.
Someone had a rough childhood that taught them problematic ideals/coping mechanisms but theyve since changed and are working on it? Actually that person will Always be right wing and im perfect and more leftist bc my parents are both liberals and neither one a right winger.
Someone critiques ppl i think have good ideas and are intelligent? Clearly they just dont understand how amazing they are and are attacking them for abreason unrelated to the reason they brought up
Someone worded something weirdly and in an easy to misinterpret way? Shit, time to misinterpret on purpose
Someone did something wrong once and has apologized for it and doesnt do it anymore and is clearly working on it? Truly iredeemable and should be shot
Someone with a lot of attention wants to make more money by doing sponsorships? Backstabbers and totally not someone just trying to survive in this capitalist hellscape
Someone who doesnt believe every little thing i do and doesnt clarify they're an anarcho communist clearly and specifically? Purely my enemy
I could go on- but like how do yall function lmao. Do you ever get tired of constantly antagonizing people around you and trying to beat any problematic thing you THINK someone has inside them out of them? Do you ever get tired of seeing everything in black and white and expecting people to line up in an easily digestable way for you and not be human and make mistakes and sometimes have shitty opinions? Sometimes ppl just havent heard a different perpsective or even the laternate opinion. Sometimes people might have a perspective you didn't consider. And if you're scared of people and dont want to losten to their different opinion for fear of being "lead astray" then i feel bad for you in your lack of confidence in yourself in what you know to be true.
Anyways. Sometimes people are human and not perfect and im sorry they dont alogn perfectly in a box you can fit them in. Sometimes you're just gonna hafta deal with the unknown without throwing rocks of assumption into the fog, possibly hitting someone who didnt do shit on accident.
Also. Imagine expecting people to be anarcho communists and not giving any arguements or reasons why. Imagine expecting people to be at the same headspace and level you're at while taking 0 steps to help them get to your understanding. Lol.
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hannieehaee · 11 months ago
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teasing you over your crush on them - vu
hhu, vu, pu
content: gender neutral, very minimal angst, fluff, the crush is kinda implied to be reciprocated.
wc: 705
a/n: i took so long to get to the pu version of this sorry T-T
masterlist
jun -
you'd have to be a bit obvious for him to notice your crush, honestly. someone wouldve probbaly had to point it out to him, telling him that your crush was obvious to everyone but himself. this would change everything for him, instant imaginary lightbulb lighting up in his head. he'd somehow think itd be a great idea to fluster you on purpose to test out your crush, but would grow immediately addicted to his effect on you, amping it up more and more as time passed.
your distancing from him would be noticed almost immediately, with you avoiding him when he'd seek you out. he would feel so dejected (and even a bit hurt) by your sudden dismissal. he'd give you a bit of time alone before confronting you, apologizing if he ever made you feel bad. he had just been so excited at your feelings that his own feelings took over, not leaving him room to consider anything else. you'd make up pretty quickly, with him promising that he'd be the flustered one in the relationship from now on to make up for his actions.
soonyoung -
it wouldve taken A LOT for him to realize you liked him. he thought you were just being nice! would grow immediately overexcited at the thought of you liking him, now going on a mission to constantly impress you whenever he had the chance. would eventually even grow the balls to tease you about it, trying to incite you into returning his flirting.
would feel extremely dejected if you pulled away from him at his flirting. did he read it wrong? did you not actually like him? fuck, did he ruin a friendship over some stupid jokes? eventually he would approach you, pout adorning his face as he asked you why you didnt like him like that. he liked you like that. why was the concept of him liking you so bad that you had to keep away from him? would be shocked but happy at you returning his feelings, explaining that maybe you had misunderstood his reciprocation for teasing.
minghao -
he can be a bit of a smartass at times, so it wouldnt be surprising if be felt a bit elevated at the thought of you having a crush on him. itd start with him chuckling whenever you were flustered at him, eventually evolving into straight up throwing sassy comments at you that would have your face heating up. he just found your reactions so cute, he couldnt help himself.
he'd immediately notice you begin to distance yourself from him at his teasing, deciding to open a line of communication with you right at that moment. would not want to risk having hurt your feelings over something he considered to be some lighthearted fun. it'd be a bit awkward for you, but he would talk to you about your feelings, letting you know that he hadnt meant to make you feel bad, but had found you so endearing he couldnt help his teasing. this would likely be the start of something between the two of you.
chan -
the moment he noticed your crush, he would instantly make jokes about it any time the two of your bantered or joked around each other. wouldnt think too much of it, although it would bring him a bit of an extra confidence boost knowing that you held a torch for him. he was already a pretty charming guy (damn anything his elder brothers had to say about it!) so it wouldnt be hard for him to fall in the habit to subtly flirt with you in the middle of banter.
if he ever noticed that maybe his flirting or his jokes went a bit too far, causing you to drift away from him, he would feel instant regret. feeling like a fucking dumbass, he would immediately go to his brothers for advice, who would all scold him and tell him to apologize. would probably still feel too awkward to do it, choosing instead to give you some space. this would only last so long as his own resolve broke, missing you too much and seeking you out to apologize, maybe even confessing his own recently discovered feelings for you.
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scalproie · 1 month ago
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OK MULTIPLE THINGS:
1) The hachijo clan were indeed renegade devils that fled Azazel, and based on the way its said above, they seem to be the only ones who had the devil gene after Azazel was sealed and his followers "dealt with"
2) they seem to have retconned (or at least, nuanced) the Hachijo clan being some sort of shadow peacekeepers, instead now they just knew how dangerous their hereditary powers were so so to be... safe i assume? theyd rather control the world to control how theyre perceived, aka not at all. It also keeps the mainline reason why Kazumi married into the Mishima family: it's a wealthy and powerful family with lots of influence in the world, of course the clan would want to have a way in.
3) HEIHACHI SLAUGHTERED ALL OF THEM? DAMN.
4) "there was yet a baby girl whom Heihachi permitted to live." Ok. Lots to unpack here:
The natural assumption would be that this baby girl is Reina, of course, and then this would imply some things.
"Permitted to live" is such an odd way of talking about his own baby. Dont get me wrong, this fits Heihachi's character, but still, it kinda make it sounds like he found that baby girl
WHICH WOULD MEAN THAT REINA IS NOT HIS BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER. "But Dam, the lightnings-!" was assumed to be a Mishima family trait, yes, but the tekken monks (Seiryu esp.) HAVE electricity coming out of their hand during ewgfs (and not even exclusively). Maybe they are very distant family relatives of the main Mishima branch, but even then... or maybe we had it wrong and the electricity comes naturally with a well enough mastery of the Mishima fighting style and not biologically (which would be insane actually)
But even if Reina really is a baby Heihachi spared, now there is the issue of the timeline: there is NO FUCKING WAY Reina is actually older than Jin, meaning that if Heihachi found/had her, it wouldve been during the gap between t2 and t3. BUT THEN:
You mean to tell me Heihachi waited 25+ YEARS after the death of his wife before wiping out the Hachijo clan and THEN after that found/had baby Reina? That, or Reina is actually in her forties and thats bullshit.
I say all that, but maybe he spared another woman which whom he then had Reina, and so she's indeed his biological child? Maybe, but look at the way it's written above, he spared ONE (1) Hachijo.
There could be one disturbing way this could make sense, being that Heihachi wiped the Hachijo clan immediately after Kazumi's death (when Kaz was 5), the spared Hachijo baby girl above is actually Reina's mother with whom Heihachi then had Reina during the t2-t3 gap, making her both a Hachijo and his biological child, BUT I GENUINELY DO NOT BELIEVE they would go as far as making Heihachi an actual fucking groomer.
SO BASED ON THIS SMALL PARAGRATH: either Reina is NOT Heihachi's actual daughter and he found and raised her, or some Hachijo woman had a baby with Heihachi before HE FUCKING KILLED HER WITH THE REST OF HER FAMILY(???), the timeline doesnt make sense unless Heihachi didnt kill every Hachijo in one go.
Anyway maybe none of that matters but Reina is too much of an important character for it NOT TO and those last two sentences are going to haunt me until we get maybe an answer.
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oceanwithouthermoon · 11 months ago
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have you ever considered some abstract-ass pairings? like the "how the fuck did you even come up with that pairings?
im not accusing you of doing it lol, but i personally do and am. curious to see if i am normal
IM NOT TOTALLY SURE, because i tend to have very specific reasonings for why i think two characters would be good together, but i definitely think that from an outside perspective some of my ships can be seen as pretty abstract..
(under the cut again sorry im nonstop yapping for way too long guys..)
BUT almost any pairing you think of in a semi-popular fandom like saiki k, SOMEBODY has probably made content about it.. and its more popular in japan, so you may not be able to FIND ur pairing but theres probably SOMETHING out there about it, just in a language you aren't searching in or something.. like, toritsuka x kuboyasu is one pairing i have NEVER seen an english speaking person post about, but if you go in japanese or korean speaking saiki k spaces, that ship is EXTREMELY popular! theres TONS of fanart!!
so yea, whats popular or even what gets any content at all can be surprising sometimes.. like, a few of my favorite tdlosk ships are arisu x rifuta, arisu x aiura, and rifuta x yumehara (+arisu x yumehara but this is kinda popular i think) (im just a lesbian with a bias towards sapphic ships, i see two pretty girls and i ship..) and i shipped them before i ever started looking online for content and when i finally did, i didnt think i would ever see any content of them but. there is. theres plenty of content of them. theyre rare enough pairs that i dont think they have ship names so it can be hard to actually find that content since theres no ship name ever tagged, but it very much exists!
if youd asked me this like a month ago i wouldve said that saiki x suzumiya is one of these abstract ships for me (if you wanna know why i like it, i just like the idea of instead of satou being so average he balances her out, saiki just like superhero-ing every other minute without her even noticing. i also like this as a polycule which ill talk about in a minute-) but somebody on here posted it around that time LOL.. theres also some other rare pairs i enjoy like mera x saiki or kuboyasu x yumehara, but though these are rare-ish pairs, they still have a notable presence so i wouldnt quite call them abstract.. (also yo damn well kubosai is my NUMBER ONEEEE ship, which you could call a rare pair if you didnt go on tumblr or ao3 cuz its VERY concentrated over here and doesnt really exist anywhere else.. except in the japanese fandom LOL.. but yea its definitely not a rare pair over here, its gotten way more popular recently too..)
the more abstractness comes when you start shipping polycules... then its way less likely for you to be able to find your specific ship.. lol.. like the ones i just talked about, you put rifuta x yumehara x arisu x aiura all together ?? no WAY am i gonna find that, it may exist somewhere but youll never find it, or at least i couldnt lol.. some of my fav rare (more like completely nonexistent except for some IVE posted about) polyam ships are the one i just said, kuboyasu x saiki x hairo x nendo, (also love kuboyasu x saiki x kaido but this one actually gets content hehe.. same with kuboyasu x kaido x yumehara.. LOVE that one..) mera x yumehara x aiura, kuboyasu x saiki x saiko (x kaido maybe), toritsuka x kaido x yumehara, mera x saiki x kuboyasu (x saiko sometimes and/or hairo) and probably more that im forgetting... i also really love the psychickers x satou and suzumiya which im actually not sure if theres ever been content of them, i think the only time ive seen it mentioned is someone being like "theyre dating hehe" on a pic of them lol.. its a funny ship for me because its actually one of my favorites even though some of the individual ships im not a fan of + i also hc that satou is very very straight but idk.. somehow this works.. i feel like maybe if he starts dating suzumiya and shes bi and polyam then it might accidentally give him a sexuality crisis because hes probably never even considered that he could be queer before.. idk.. whatever.. it just works..
idk, someone give me examples of tdlosk rare pairs that could actually work...
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theearloftophats · 1 year ago
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HI ITS ME THE MOST ANNOYING SUBNAUTICA FAN
im procrastinating on an important paper for school.
i want to talk abt call of the void.
im sorry im just so fucking mentally unwell about these games and im miserable abt it. please dont read this im just going on an angry rant /hsrs
Its FINE if you want to make a fan dlc thats fuckign awesome but saying its meant to be something that the devs wouldve made and then fucking. immediately saying youre going to rewrite some of the lore is so- what. why. and in the guys intro video too it he shares some of the precursor concept art and i- 0oooooghh i swear to god if he decides that actually THATS what they look like im going to explode we HAVE canon architects they ALREADY EXIST. i dont fucking understnad subnautica fans theres so much more to this game than"oouughh beeg feesh" and its so IRRITATING that nobody seems to engage with the lore. like. ugh i feel like so much of the fandom just REJECTED all of the architect lore that was given in BZ just cus the game wasnt recieved well. i cannot understate how angry it makes me to hear youtubers still call them precursers. thats not what theyre CALLED anymore.
Void exploration is a HUGE gold mine of ideas and its SUCH a WASTE to tack it on to the origional story. it makes no FUCKING SENSE for Riley to want to go into the void they just want to go HOME. they want OFF THE PLANET. thats the point of the game. and it UNDERMINES the game to add void exploration just for the Gameplay part of things.
Alterra has MULTIPLE research facilities built by Below Zero. it would make a lot more sense to make a WHOLE NEW STORYLINE for your big project. That way you can add all your new submarines and give them a reason for being available instead of just "uuhh the fragments of this sub are on these tiny floating islands waay out in the void" that makes no SENSE the fragments for the other subs are FROM THE AROURA CRASH. ough my god i hate it im so angry. the concept doesnt even engage with the void!!!!!! its all just a decending staircase of chunks of rock,,,
it would make a lot more sense for alterra to create a dedicated void research mission, that way you can have a whole game set in the void, with specialized equipment, a new protag, etc without encroaching on what made the first game so special.
DONT EVEN GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON THE TEASER AT THE END OF THE OVERVIEW VIDEO. OBVIOUSLY I DONT KNOWWHAT THEYRE IMPLYING TOTALLY BUT OUGHHG.. "maybe you'll find a familiar face" YOU BETTER BE TALKING ABOUT A DIFFERENT ARCHITECT CUS IF YOUR PLANNING TO- MOVE AL-AN- UGH. HES NOT THERE!!! HES BEEN IN THAT DAMNED SANCTUARY FOR OVER A THOUSAND YEARS WE KNOW WEHRE HE IS. UGH. UGH. OH IM SO AWFUL IM SO SORRY IM SO SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM ITS ACTUALLY REALLY BAD /SRS
the concept behind it is SO COOL and i love how much effort is being put into it, thats fuciing aweseom /srs my problem with it is that it feels like theyre trying to bend and twist subnautica to be like, THEIR game instead. i just- ugh it bothers me how much subnautica fans try and make it something its not. maybe i just. engage with the game completely differently than everyone else idk. Ill keep following the project and im sure ill have more opinions n shit lol.
what the fuck is wrong with me
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seth-burroughs · 5 months ago
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czynś czecia: (last one!!)
nice submarine dude ok now how tell me exactly on a scale from 1-10 how stuffy is the air in there. and how much does it cost you yearly to maintain that shit. and can it even do the swim.
holy shit its the gang!!!! fubuki and halara and the other two!!!
lets see if im still gonna hate vivia just as much as i did when i first watched it... i feel like now that i have been through dazai bsd i can get through anything. vivia is nothing compared to dazai bsd.
they do not fucking care lmao
i missed halara's og voice...... though i'm not sure whether i prefer the english or the japanese one.......they sound. Very different.
halara x seth x swank where they bond over money
both of desuhiko's va on the other hand sound veryyy similiar
i love how yakou is just. Silently listening the entire time Desuhiko, Fubuki and Halara engage in acts of considerable tomfoolery
you and me both Fubuki. you and me both
every single person (and especially the youtubers) who were so fucking mean to Fubuki for some reason (we know what it is) should apologize right now while they still have the chance
halara should have overthrown yakou by like, the second chapter tbh. i don't even think he'd even put up that much of a fight
we can take him.
oh yeah i forgot about vivia's "i wanna die someday" bit. dw that can be arranged
i wonder what was desuhiko's personal "train massacre moment" that we talked about earlier, especially since it looks like he at the same time both 1) doesn't do well with blood and murder and the like and 2) the "everyone on the train died beside you? that sucks. had i been on the amaterasu express i wouldve solved it before anything had gone down. damn, missed the chance to show off my superstar self." line which im pretty sure he wouldn't have ever said if he actually saw a corpse on his trip. personally i think that at least he solved the murder plot on his route before anything had the chance to go down. but because there were supposed to be multiple mds on all of the routes as far as i remember, i also like to think both he and Fubuki were there together. just the two of them
me too shinigami
would it be controversial of me to say that i don't really care for the agency. at least as a group (halara and fubuki are fine). my soul has been sold to shinigami, kurumi, amaterasu corp and fake zilch and maybe its also the yomi brain that makes me see them all as an annoying pest infestation instead of the actual mcs lmao
wait speaking of the wdo. how did yakou manage to get that fucking phone that could reach outside kw and not be spied on. hw did he. how did he get it
you and me both Fubuki. you and me both
"uh, i think you're just forgetful" yakou that is not normal. yakou if you think that's normal then i think we should have both of you checked maybe
oh wait halara and desuhiko were the ones who arrived early..... now im just thinking that halara was the one to solve the Evil Plot on their route on their own and desuhiko was taking all the credit the whole time
shinigami <3
the wdo is probably not the only organization hiring people with these powers, or "forensic fortes" in their case (that they help hone, they aren't born with these specific abilities but just exhibit signs). there is probably like, a military or scientific market for those too, and if the wdo are the only ones in the world with the permit to do all that then theres bound to be some illegal shit going on in secret in other groups. but like, these powers/"paranormal dispositions" explicitly aren't exclusive to the wdo. we don't even know how common they actually may be and if most people who have them are even aware they're not just normal. anyway
everyone keeps calling yakou old but he looks so young.
oh god i forgot the skank bit with fubuki and shinigami too. help me survive this
no1 double videochat time
old man time. why does he have the homesfuck sharpie bath complexion. why is everyone in this game either white or gray except for dominic but not really he's also really gray . i would blame this on the lack of sunlight and shit but this is not just a kanai ward resident thing. yes i know this is probably like an aesthetic choice i don't care shut up now
just sitting there listening to all of this.. nobody tell them
ah yeah the creed
"is that true master" "i don't remember at all" fgsdfgdsgssdfhakejsfaysjkhg.
and the pose... that double had a blast pretending to be number one back then
you and me both Fubuki. you and me both
never not gonna laugh at yuma's prey animal stare. mouseboy
oh i forgot yuma just started fucking writing poetry at the start/end of the chapte- YAKOU READING THE NOTE SPOTTED!!!!!!!! THE. THE NOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i forgot hellectro duo appear that early on at that point and started choking on my own tongue. this is not an exaggeration. help me survive this and go back to the tab............... good lird.......
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when :DDDD police brutality <33333
i might need time to recover spiritually .
KURUMI SPOTTED
MAKOTO SPOTTED??? THAT EARLY?????
The. Oh god the fucking restricted area i forgot they were just showed in the prologue sjdgfdsjdgdsj. they were right there.... and we all collectively forgot about it. if you say that you remembered this scene then you are a nasty liar. you forgor. accept it already
Finally the intro lets go!!!!!
goddamn it i got yomi jumpscared again. stop doing this to me you know this is bad for my tortured stress organs goddamn it (do not be worried about me once i get to chapter 1 ending............)
aaaaaaand that is all for the prologue :3333333 we have got through it!!!! at last!!!!!
continuation of my mdarc rewatch but from the ch0 ending and onwards instead because it was stressing me out too much. blissfully ignoring fzilch's entire existence anyway here comes yakou-
once again im so glad im watching this in jp dub again because i don't think i could survive if eng yakou opened his mouth and i just heard fuckinbg. dubbing dazai.
can someone tell my goddamn muscles to stOP tensing up whenever rejn kołd kanaj łard mentioned . getting the twitches again >:(
yuma peril we love to see it. also i will never stop making fun of his stupid fucking phallus haircut
i don't remember if ive said this before but japanese shinigami >>>>>>>>> english shinigami
i spot a faint trace of a seth thumbnail in the corner and start blushing and kicking my feet uncontrollably. imagining him getting his limbs ripped off
good fucking lord. oh my fucking god. jesus christ, motherfucker. my first statement aged like fucking milk i cannot take this anymore jp dub yakou has the same voice as jp dub nikolai bsd fuck my stupid baka life why do i bother. what the fuck.
huh. maybe the yomiakou mfs were onto something after all. his swagless demeanor just now has charmed me significantly.
i like how in the game his description lists his ability as "a flair for negotiation", makes him negotiate exactly once during his introduction and then he never does it again
i am not giggling at yakou furio rain code. leave me alone. i am not. IM NOT. GO AWAY. I CANNOT CONTROL MY VOICEBOX JACKASS..
"he managed to turn away the peacekeepers, so he must be in high standing" hahahaha. hahahaha. no sorry yuma i think thats just pretty privilege on his part. once again shinigami ends up being 100% correct somehow
aaaah i still really like yuma's jpn voice especially when he's stressed or screaming. makes me want to throw him down the stairs
its so pretty in here why would anyone want to leave anyway lol. when all the remaining nations explode each other kanai ward will be the only city still standing and we will flourish and thrive. also in the station(?) theres a poster with a rainbow on it so obviously its gay paradise too what more do yall fucking want
detectivephobia mention counter: 1
thats all for today i fear op is not strong enough for rhis shit,
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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago
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With a little help from your friends (the help is praise kink and the friend is your boyfriend)
Who would have thought that fucking your boyfriend senseless cures dysphoria.
Alternatively: being a dom is actually something that can be so gender,
Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)
Pairing: Andy Kang/Tom Sato
Additional tags: let's see, mild mentions of transphobic and racist comments, Comfort Sex, the filthiest comfort sex uve ever seen but WHATEVER, dom andy kang, sub tom sato, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Dom/sub Play, Collars, Praise Kink, basically someone says transphobic shit and then tom rides him and talks about how wonderful andy is, except tom has also been in denial for a few days and he's super horny, and andy gets in domspace and everything is great and nothing hurts, Fluff and Smut, Humor, cuz u know these two are incapable of taking anything too seriously, Established Relationship, oh they're both in college and they go to the same college cuz i said so, set after the events of it lives beneath, that's it I think, trans author if that matters to you
Read it on Ao3
Andy isn't having a great day. It's not a terrible, clawing-at-his-chest-trying-to-deal-with-dysphoria kind of day, but he's been trying out this "not comparing everything to the worst possible scenario" thing his therapist has been talking about, so still, not a great day.
The thing is, he thought college would be easier. And it is, in a lot of ways. For starters, there is no evil monster spectre trying to kill him, which gives college at least 5 points over high school. And his uni has a pretty solid queer club, so he knows other trans people there. Some of them are even non-white. Some of them he even actually, truly likes. And most of the time, he feels like he has a place to turn to, and people to support him. He's not alone. He has people who get him. And that makes all the difference.
But basketball is still a nightmare, and his knee still hurts when it's cold, and winter is officially starting now.
People still hesitate to pass the ball to him, and it's frustrating, because Andy fought so hard to earn his old team's trust and now he's back at square zero. And well, Andy has been gaining this team's trust, because he's good, goddamn it, and his team owes at least the last three victories to him. He's not hesitant to say that, especially because otherwise no one will. And he can see that they look at him differently now - nod at him in the hallways, at least, talk to him in the locker room, pass him the fucking ball if his position is very, very open.
But if he weren't trans and Asian, he wouldn't have had to work so hard to get all of that - or well, just that, really. He has a full sports scholarship despite the fact that he had a broken leg, had to retake his last year of high school, and doesn't even have the body type for basketball. If he weren't Asian, if he weren't trans, his team would have assumed his greatness from day one. Instead, he has to show it to them time and time again only to get them to reluctantly admit maybe he's not bad. No one calls him "triple threat" anymore, but he still has to work three times harder than anyone else, and it's frustrating.
And usually Andy can deal with it, but right now his knee hurts, and he can't afford that because he'll lose everything he's worked for if his teammates know that his fucking knee hurts. So, he braved training and then he got the fuck out of there without even changing so no one would see him wince. Which means he's still in basketball shorts, which are short, in the cold, which means his leg hurts more.
At times like these, he's thankful he never got the chance to go through with his promise to break his other leg kicking Noah's ass. Because he would have, and then both his legs would be hurting right now, and two legs that hurt every time it's cold is just too many legs.
No comparing to the worst possible scenario, he tells himself. Therapy is so hard. If he had known there would be homework, he would have thought twice about going.
And that's, apparently, the cue for his phone to go off. Andy smiles, knowing who it is even before he opens the message, because only one person messages him during class, and it's the only person he wants to hear from right now.
Tom <3 sent you a message
Grinning like a fool, he opens it.
Tom <3: dude, im horny af rn. the fuck
Finally, good news, Andy thinks, smiling. Then he remembers why Tom is so horny, and suddenly this day is great, actually.
He quickly types a reply.
You: who wouldve thought that 3 days of denial would make this happen
Tom <3: ill have u kno i was very good at holding it together before today
You: yeah, dw. soon u wont have to hold it anymore ;)
Tom <3: that flirt was terrible, dude
You: said the guy whos calling me dude for the second time in this conversation
Tom <3: what else should i call u? 😩
Andy thinks for a second. Tom and him do longer-term denial every once in a while, but they aren't in a 24/7 relationship. Does Andy really want to go there right now? Yes. Well, that was fast. Okay then.
You: how about "sir"
Tom's reply comes fast as lightning.
Tom <3: Yes, Sir.
Andy smirks at himself.
You: uve been hoping that id say that, havent u?
Tom types for just a little longer this time.
Tom <3: Yes, Sir.
----
Many things are wrong with the world, and Andy doesn't mean to make light of the other things, but the fact that Andy can't simply go and fuck his boyfriend whenever he wants is definitely one of them. It should be, like, financial compensation or something. We're so sorry the school environment is transphobic, here, have a free sex pass. Sounds fair to him. But instead, he still has two hours of classes to go through, and Andy is a better guy than he wishes he was, so he tells Tom to pay attention to class instead of sexting him, because he doesn't want Tom to struggle even more with his course when he had already had to leave it once. God damn true love or whatever.
The point is, by the time classes are finally over, his day is back to not being that great; he's tired, and his leg hurts. He gets to their car after Tom does, and Tom takes one look at him, and says, "I'm driving".
Andy crosses his arms. "Why?"
"Because your leg hurts," Tom answers, rolling his eyes and taking Andy's bag from him and putting it in the trunk.
Andy looks down at his legs. He wasn't limping. There aren't any bruises. How the hell-
"It's cold and you're in shorts. I'm not an idiot, dude."
Right. Yeah. Right. Of course. Tom knows. It's… It's alright.
"Bad day at training?" Tom asks, slowly, sympathetically, and Andy feels himself settle in his skin a little bit.
"The usual," he answers, getting inside, and, as always, Tom gets the hint.
---
Their uni's dorms are gender-segregated because these guys have still not gotten the memo that people of the same gender fuck; and Andy wasn't willing to deal with cis college guys' bullshit, much less cis college girls' bullshit; and the uni wouldn't let him simply pick Tom as his roommate. So, they rented out a beat up apartment right next to it instead. It took a little longer to get there, but it wasn't a lot longer, and well, it was worth it.
Tom gets inside, still carrying Andy's bag because he's transphobic and unfair and had taken it and bolted up running so Andy wouldn't have a chance to argue with him. And Andy can't run after him with his leg hurting, which kind of proves Tom's point that he should carry Andy's bag. All in all, Tom is the worst, and he turns up the heat as soon as he gets inside and sits Andy down on the bed, kneeling in front of him to take a look at Andy's knee.
He's silent for a while, massaging his knee until Andy sighs and throws his head back, before Tom plants a little kiss on his knee and looks up at him. Andy's knee always stops hurting when Tom kisses it better. It's a little embarrassing, if Andy is being honest, but still- nice. Really nice.
They stay for a little longer like this, Tom humming and massaging his knee and Andy not meeting his eyes, until the question inevitably comes.
"What happened?" Tom asks, not letting up with the smooth movements of his hands, his eyes big and sincere with worry.
"Nothing. Just the cold. You know how my knee gets."
"I meant, for you to leave practice without putting some warmer clothes on."
Andy looks away. "It was nothing."
"Dude, are you expecting me to go, 'okay, yeah, that totally makes sense and I believe you', or…?"
Andy laughs, despite himself, and throws his good leg up in an almost-kick to pretend he's retaliating. "Don't be an ass."
"I'm not. Come on, Andy. You know you can tell me."
"It's nothing, it's just- Kyle-"
"Oh boy."
Andy laughs. "Yeah." But then he grows serious, "the thing is, he doesn't mean any harm, you know? I know he's not saying it to hurt me, and so that just means that, like... that it's true."
Tom's hands stop their movements, rubbing soothing circles around his knee instead. "What did he say?"
Andy doesn't look at him. "He asked me why I didn't stay on the women's team. Said that I could have an advantage, cuz Asian people are androgynous anyway, so no one would notice that I was taking hormones."
Tom just stares at him in shock for a moment.
"And I was like, 'dude, I've been on T for three years, I'm pretty sure they would notice the changes'. And he was like, 'yeah, but you still look like a lot of Asian girls with short hair, you could write it off if you wanted', and I just…" He trails off.
Tom waits in silence for a second, seeing if Andy finds his words, before asking, "Is Kyle, like, okay?"
Andy scoffs. "I didn't try and fight him, if that's what you're asking."
"No, I mean, does this dude have a screw loose or something?"
"He's very bad at figuring out what is or isn't offensive, yeah, but it's not like he really cares, he just won't go out of his way to antagonize me."
"No, I just- Andy, even when you were a little kid with huge pigtails, anyone would have to be crazy to see you as a girl."
Andy bites the inside of his lip. "You're just saying that."
"I'm not. It's just wrong, man. It was so obvious that it was wrong. Anyone could tell. There's nothing about you that says 'girl' to anyone who's looking."
Andy sighs, finally risking looking at Tom's eyes. There's overwhelming sincerity there, and Andy instinctively looks away. "I guess. Maybe. I don't know. It just got me thinking... Maybe T didn't change anything. Maybe I look exactly the same, maybe it was just hopeful thinking that had me thinking it would change anything, maybe it's just- pointless to even try-"
"No, no, come on," Tom says, and the interruption is so sudden it makes Andy look at him again, just in time to see Tom shaking his head vigorously. "There's no way you believe that. What about this bad boy over here?" He smiles, reaching out softly to caress Andy's neck. "You have more of an Adam's Apple than me, dude. And we both know you don't need T to be a guy, but thinking it made no difference is just crazy and you know it. What about those dry pecs? These broad shoulders of yours? Your voice, I mean, come on. You even smell different, man. How can it be pointless, if even your scent is different?"
Andy looks to the side again, but he can feel himself smile. "Well, when you put it like that..."
Tom gets up, but stays close, putting his hand on Andy's cheek, slowly, as if testing the waters, before turning him slightly to look at him. "Andy. Kyle is an idiot and a transphobic racist who's too damn lazy to realize how fucked up he is. And you shouldn't have to deal with that, and I'm sorry, and I will set him on fire."
Andy laughs. "You can't keep threatening to set every shitty teammate I have on fire."
"I can, because it keeps making you laugh," Tom says, smiling. Well. Andy can't argue with that. "My point is, you wouldn't listen to a word this dude says if it were about anyone else, so don't listen to him when he talks about you, okay? T or no T, you're no girl, and you don't look like a girl, and regardless of whether or not Kyle's dumb ass noticed it, your transition has been doing you good. Remember when your voice started to crack and get all weird? I've never seen anyone be that happy about it."
Andy laughs. "It was pretty awful."
"No, it was great, 'cause you loved it. Do you want me to pull out the 'before' pictures we took in case this happened? Look at yourself, dude. You fit so much better in your own skin, you know? And like, you've always been gorgeous, but-"
"Come here," Andy interrupts, pulling him down because Tom is standing and Andy is sitting and Andy is already height-challenged. And Tom goes willingly, carefully straddling Andy's lap and meeting him in a kiss. Finally, Andy thinks.
Tom kisses him softly, slowly, one hand resting on the back of Andy's head and the other draped lazily over his shoulder, as he usually does, all gentle and a little hesitant, and Andy is having none of that. So he grabs Tom's hair and deepens the kiss, bringing him closer until their chests are flushed together and he can feel Tom's hips mindlessly making little circles against Andy's belly.
They separate - or well, stop kissing, really, because Tom is still as close to Andy as physically possible, and Andy feels about ready to shoot anyone who tries to push him further away. Tom's a little breathless, and his hips are still making these almost imperceptible movements against Andy, and Andy realizes that he's still grabbing Tom's hair and that he's a little breathless, too.
Tom looks down at him for a second, as if debating something with himself, before saying, "and like, not to be horny during a serious moment, but since we're talking about the effects of T... Andy. Andy. Your clit. Fuck. It's so huge now, and it's got a visible head and you can fuck my face and everything, and I could sing it praises for a week and probably will if you don't stop me right now."
"Hmm, but I like it when you sing me praises," he smiles. "Keep going."
"God, I was hoping you'd say that. Do you have any idea how much I've been thinking about it today? I didn't hear a single word anyone said to me, all I could think about was you fucking my face, pulling my hair, making me worship you and beg to be allowed to suck you off, I wanna serve you like you're my God." Tom's hips start to jerk up, more visibly this time, shameless, and see, this is why Andy's been really, really liking this whole denial thing - Tom has only started to explore his subby side recently, a little ashamed of it to admit it to anyone, even himself. But when he's horny enough, he gets shameless and desperate about what he wants, and god, nothing is more beautiful than Tom when he asks for what he wants. He feels something growing inside of him, not sure if it's warmth or heat, but seeing Tom like that, wanting him, needing him, definitely makes him feel so much better.
"Yeah?" Andy asks, tracing a finger over Tom's shoulder, close to his neck, just to give him goosebumps.
"Fuck yes, I want it so bad, and you deserve it too, Andy… Sir. You're the best Sir I could ask for, I just want… Want you to use me, want you to cum on me, want to kiss you all over and worship you and pleasure you, you're so gorgeous..." He hides his face in Andy's shoulder for a bit, but his hips don't stop moving. He whines, "Andy..."
"Address me properly," Andy snaps, feeling the edges of worry clear from his mind and giving way to that wonderful feeling of clear-mindedness, of power, where nothing matters but his own pleasure. "And maybe I'll give you what you want, if you earn it."
Tom nods, hips full on thrusting now, and Andy snaps again. "Stay still."
And he does, immediately, without question, biting his lip and keeping his eyes shut with effort. Andy can feel his thighs clenching and spasming over his, trying to keep himself from moving, trying to be good. He hums in appreciation, but doesn't praise him for it, not yet.
"I'll get you ready," Andy explains, before reaching to Tom's hair, and starts to undo his bun, as slow as possible, just to watch him squirm. He gets so impatient when Andy undresses him, which is why Andy never misses a chance to drag it out.
He begins by removing Tom's jacket, sliding his hands slowly over his shoulders, then down his back, feeling the firm muscle there, digging his nails just a little bit so he can see Tom's eyes flutter in bliss. When the jacket falls to the floor, Andy begins circling the hem of his shirt, sliding until his hands are back on front, fingers just close enough to Tom's cock for him to feel Tom tense in his hands, so damn sensitive to his touch, so needy. God, he can't get enough of this, but he pretends that he doesn't notice, lets Tom try and keep himself together as Andy's hands slide over his belly, then chest, over the shirt, collarbone, wrapping and resting on Tom's throat just so he feels the threat of it, before Andy finally grabs the back of the shirt's collar and tugs, taking it off. Then he slides his hands back down, making sure to run a finger just over the sensitive spot where his pecs end, then lower, over his ribcage, belly, hips, next to the bruises where Andy had grabbed him the night before, then back to the middle, just over the bulge in his pants, and Tom finally breaks and jerks up slightly, letting out a little moan.
"Sir," he whines, "please, please, I-" Andy continues to circle the head of his cock with his finger, "please!"
"Patience," is all he says, before going back to his painfully light movements, imagining Tom's needy cock twitching under his fingers, imagining the effort Tom makes not to thrust up or keep begging for more, just because Andy told him not to. "You know how much I like playing with your pretty little cock. You said you wanted to serve me, didn't you?"
"Yes- yes, Sir."
He hums, noncommittally, not looking at him. "Good." He teases the tip of his clothed cock some more, enjoying the way his mind zeroes on that, the way he feels like he has all the power and the time in the world. Finally, he pats Tom's thigh once. "Get off, and take off the rest of your clothes. Get the lube and a condom."
Tom gets up, a little shaky, and does as instructed, while Andy reaches down to the drawer under the bed where he keeps his dick's spine and a few of their toys. He gets the spine, then adjusts his packer briefs so he can put it on - best purchase of his life, really, those briefs. So much easier to use than a regular strap-on and it makes the packer sit over his clit just right, making a little suction and pressure. Andy couldn't be happier that he was already wearing them.
Tom gets back with everything he asked right in time for Andy to finish making his dick hard, and goes on to put the condom on and cover Andy's cock in lube with the kind of attention that makes Andy hold his breath. Tom's so careful, yet eager, and adoring, about it. Andy feels like the hottest guy in the world.
Once he gets permission, Tom sits on his cock, slowly, getting adjusted to it - admittedly, Andy went a little overboard when he bought his first cock. Andy waits until Tom is fully seated, littering his neck with little kisses and praise for how well he's taking him, how pretty he looks, until Tom looks fully comfortable and ready to start complaining if Andy doesn't start fucking him in earnest soon. That's when Andy shows him the other item he pulled from the drawer - Tom's favorite collar.
Tom's reaction is instantaneous. He throws his head back, moving over Andy's cock as he lets out a breathless, almost choked moan; the hands he had resting on Andy's shoulders suddenly squeezing full force in his need.
"God, you're such a whore," Andy says, casually, and Tom nods, even as he flushes. The collar is just a simple black one, with a little hoop for the leash, but inside they had it engraved with the words Andy's whore, and it left visible marks that could be seen for a few hours after they took it off. It never failed to drive Tom crazy, so it always drove Andy crazy, too. "Stay still," he warns, and Tom nods, breathing heavily, gripping Andy's shoulder as tight as he can as he stays frozen in place. Andy slowly puts it around his neck, checking with his finger to make sure it's not too tight, and the second he clasps it in place, Tom's whole body relaxes, a content little sigh escaping his lips, his face slack and blissed out. He likes being owned, so much. Andy can't get enough of it. "Good?" he asks, just to make sure it's not too tight.
"Perfect," Tom answers, the words leaving him in a sigh. Andy then ties the leash to the headboard, making sure that they're just far enough from it that he'll be feeling its pull the whole time. Tom lets out a moan. "Thank you, Sir."
Andy smirks. "Now, here's what I want you to do," he says, "you're going to ride me, just like that, and you're not going to come until I tell you to. You're definitely not going to come before I do. If you come close, you'll have to tell me. I want to hear you scream, so make as much noise as you want. Do you understand?"
Tom nods again, almost dizzyingly quick. "Yes, Sir."
"Good, then get to it."
Tom doesn't need to be told twice. He starts riding him, slowly at first, trying to find the perfect angle for Andy - not himself, Andy notices, pleased. Once it's perfect, Andy orders, "faster, slut,” and Tom obeys, as always, working up speed as he tries to keep himself upright, feeling the tug of his leash with every movement, moaning the whole time. “Good boy,” Andy says, and Tom’s responding whine is high pitched, embarrassing, needy. He gets even faster then, starting to babble as he keeps on working, and Andy just stays casually in place, not having to do a single thing while Tom works to give him pleasure.
"Fuck, you're so perfect, did you know that?" Tom asks, quickly sliding down on Andy's cock, making sure he puts all this weight in the end so Andy's cock will press down against his clit just the way he likes, making sure to go as deep as possible, "I've been dreaming of your cock for days, god, Sir, nothing's better than this," he hides his face in Andy's shoulder, speeding up even more, thighs shaking with the effort, and Andy puts a fist in his hair and pulls, watching as Tom throws his head back and lets out a scream, working even faster on Andy's cock. "Sir!," he whines, "oh, thank you, thank you, feels so good, oh my god, please, I'm gonna-"
"No, you won't," Andy interrupts, "I'm not even close to coming yet. Keep working, slut."
"Y-yes, Sir," he whines, going faster, deeper, and Andy makes it harder for him, keeps pulling at his hair to expose his neck, litters kisses and bites on his exposed throat, grabs his thigh and squeezes hard enough to bruise so Tom remembers he's his, his whore, his toy.
"I love it when you get like this," Andy says, doing his best to keep his tone even, even as he's a little breathless from pleasure, from power, "I bet you want to come so bad, don't you? If I'd just give you the word, you'd be making a mess of yourself, coming on my cock right now-"
"Fuck! Yes, yes, Sir, please, I'm so close."
Andy smiles. "No."
Tom whines, so cute, adorable, and Andy is nice enough to leave a little kiss on his shoulder, grounding, calming him down. Before going right back to torturing him, "no, you don't get to come for a long time yet. I want you just like this, on edge, tasting it…" Andy grins. "Tell me how close you are, baby."
"I'm- I'm so close-"
Andy slaps him in the face. "You can do better than that."
"Fuck, I feel like I'm going to explode, I'm so close, I want it so bad, and you feel so good, God, you have no idea what you do to me, Sir, your cock is so perfect, it hurts, I need it- need to cum on your cock, Sir, please-"
"No."
Tom chokes on a moan, and starts to go even faster. He lets out a little whine, something Andy thinks was supposed to be a word, but doesn't come close.
"See," Andy says, "this is why I won't let you come. Look at you - every time I tell you no, you get so desperate, so obedient - it's what you want, isn't it? You want me to keep telling you no, you want to know your pleasure doesn't matter, that you're just here to serve me."
"Yes! Yes, yes, yes-"
"Good, then keep going. And beg all you want- I like telling you no, too."
Tom does. He begs, and he says thank you when Andy denies him, again and again and again. Thank you, Sir, thank you for using me, for putting me in my place, I'm yours, I'm yours. And he keeps on praising Andy, praising his cock, his body, the way he fucks him and uses him, no one else makes me feel like this, no one deserves to be worshipped and served like you, Sir, I want to make you feel good-... Until even the clear-minded state of domspace begins to crumble and Andy feels nothing but pleasure, and confidence, and power, and he cums to the sound of Tom praising him and begging, once, twice, three times, until his head is clear again and everything, even the need to chase his own pleasure, is gone, and he just feels perfect.
"Stop," he orders Tom, who's still babbling more and more incoherently, endless praise and worship, and Andy finds that he worships Tom right back. "I want you to get my cock as deep inside you as you can, and stay still. I'm going to play with your dick for a while, and when I tell you to, you can come. You did well today, baby."
Tom nods, suddenly struggling to use his words. "T-thank you, Sir," he says, already frozen in place, thighs clenching with the effort not to move and also shaking with all the effort he did before.
Andy coos. "Poor baby. You were so good to me today. Let me take care of you."
"You always- always do, Sir," Tom replies, and Andy smiles.
He gives Tom a long, slow handjob, making sure Tom stays still through it, enjoying the way his thighs shake on top of Andy's, the pressure of Tom sitting tight on his cock, the way his arms also shake with effort where they rest around Andy's neck; Tom's pretty, exposed throat all marked up around his collar, his breathless little whines as Andy makes sure to do it just the way he likes it, makes his cock turn red with need; watches Tom bite his lip, because when he has to keep still he becomes so quiet and needy, even as the little whines go through his lips… Until Andy finally says, "come for me, baby," and Tom screams through an orgasm that lasts almost a minute, hanging on to Andy as tightly as he can to keep himself anchored through the pleasure.
And then Andy holds him, and Tom holds him back, and they hold each other.
----
A while later, they've cleaned up Tom's cum so it doesn't get all sticky on Andy's chest, and Andy's finally taken off those damn briefs - they're great for sex, but get pretty tight when you wear them for a long time - and Andy holds Tom against his chest. He's humming, contently, and if anyone had told him at the beginning of the day that he'd be comfortable enough to have someone close to him while he's fully naked, he'd - well, probably assume they meant Tom, but still be skeptical.
"How do you feel?" Tom asks after a little while, finally opening up his eyes and saying hello to the world.
"That's supposed to be my line," Andy laughs.
"I feel great. Perfect. Next time, I wanna do it for longer. A week? Let's try a week. Or two weeks…?"
Andy laughs. "Let's not make too big of a leap yet."
"Fine. A week sounds good. Great. And now that we've established that denial is totally bomb for me, how are you feeling?"
"Honestly? I'm feeling great, too," Andy admits, playing with a little stray of Tom's hair, swirling it around his finger, "I think I needed that, a little bit. Who'd have thought that having you ride me and praise my cock cures dysphoria."
"Every trans top on every forum I've ever visited."
"Let me have my moment of realization," Andy mumbles, faux-annoyed. Tom just laughs, holding him closer.
"I'm just glad I could help," he says.
"Please tell me you didn't ride my cock just to help."
"Well, no, in case you hadn't noticed, I was horny as fuck. I just tried to, you know. Use that to give you a little push. Since you wanted to. Y'know. Also, it was all true. So..."
"Thanks, love," Andy says, earnestly. "I love you."
"I love you more."
They bicker about it, and Andy's smiling the rest of the day.
9 notes · View notes
mostlikelyshutup · 4 years ago
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thoughts while watching the first harry potter:
listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid
do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake
forgot boats existed
these idiots do scream a lot dont they
i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies
yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better
we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child
hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list
i like that his umbrella is pink
are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges
though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit
speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner
what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???
fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord
maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe
they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat
how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set
ahh yes, antisemitism the bank
how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??
look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him
this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??
why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??
do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie
is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??
thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading
hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development
hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones
i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit
youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns
ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there
oh wait she said good luck
amazing work ginny
ooh a warm filter
can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland
wicked!
you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron
i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that
god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age
god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione
how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?
look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks
MINNIEEEE i love you minnie
looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow
you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house
shut up draco, youre not bond
you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways
if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf
THE FUCKING CLAP
fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater
what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list
oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living
the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself
get their attention minnie
me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out
NICK, love to see you buddy
i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here
the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases
who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??
Minnie, you are the love of my life
shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel
i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole
your robes Neville, you forgot your robes
its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work
why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch
does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football
what the fuck is Quirells classroom
they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron
MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS
why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf
bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide
FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY
they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron
Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf
thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver
BLOW IT UP SEAMUS
SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT
carrot cake? on halloween?
dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron
thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell
no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron
lying: the best start to any friendship
we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment
the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird
not comforting Oliver
Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay
are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games
set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks
fancy flying from harry fucking potter
okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets
why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early
i always remember this scene at night for some reason??
not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron
btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?
there are jumpscares in harry potter
he very much can hide, filch
stop being a narc mrs norris
does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he
oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole
they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup
how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old
big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see
Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked
the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me
well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?
was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw
yes four, you blonde idiot
that shot is really nice, it sets them apart
what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?
ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london
yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath
i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog
god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool
wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?
maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry
why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before
snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry
god hagrid you sweet stupid man
snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them
Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again
i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross
they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn
harry potter walked so queens gambit could run
hermione, posted up
rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old
god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis
"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell
let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away
the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it
just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?
let me choke out this twelve year old real quick
oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out
do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?
ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell
do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?
Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!
how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed
I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points
What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny
some of these extras are really attractive
but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans
hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man
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pogaytosalad · 3 years ago
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Heres a wip of a sequel.
Dmviolence, by jade
Hello, if youre hearing this, it probably means im dead. Either that, or im alive and just got tired of keeping this hidden. You might remember my voice from a previous recording about a takeover in sector ⬽:➻, in which id helped prevent total annihilation of the sector. At the time i was unnamed, however now you may call me Kalton. After the takeover i resigned and moved to a job at a dmv. This planet was, for some reason, in one of the most tactically advantageous locations in the galaxy. And for some reason the higher ups dedicated the whole damn planet to dmvs. Dont ask why. Now, onto the story.
I woke up, and i put on my emerald green contact lenses. Just like any other day. I put on a basic white t-shirt and a leather bomber jacket along with a pair of jean shorts. If you cant tell by now, im gay.
I live in a small apartment. By small apartment i mean a bedroom, a bathroom and a kitchen all crammed into 2 rooms. I hopped out the bedroom window onto my motorcycle. It was a diamond white motorcycle with deep red stripes along the sides and the handlebars. My pride and joy. I put on my jet black helmet and took off towards my job at the, you guessed it, dmv.
Chapter 2
I pulled up in the parking lot and took off my helmet, my blue hair a total rats nest. The doors were push doors, yet i somehow ALWAYS pulled first. I entered the dmv and went to my station. A few hours passed by and no one had come in yet, which was unusual. So naturally i decided to sit down on the floor, put in my earbuds, and enjoyed some heavy metal. A few more hours passed by, and usually by now i wouldve been yelled at by my boss. This struck me as odd so i stood up. I really wish i hadnt stood up. The place had been completely destroyed. There were drop pods crashed in through the roof and they all had the ERGON logo on them. Ergon was a multi trillion dollar pencil manufacturing company with its own military. They had previously tried to take over sector ⬽:➻ when i had been working there. I was not looking forwards to what was about to happen.
Quickly, i ducked back onto the floor before anyone saw me. There were 4 riot soldiers holding this building. This was gonna be fun. The riot soldiers are your stereotypical riot gear and police baton soldiers. But these guys had laser batons and the riot gear gave them heightened strength and speed. They also had some, dare I say, shitty energy pistols. I crawled over to one of the soldiers who wasnt being watched and broke their neck. Carefully I took the baton and the pistol. Slowly crawled my way back to my station and checked the shot count in the pistol. I had 6 shots, just enough to take care of the remaining three soldiers. I stood up quickly and shot each soldier twice in the head. First shot to open the riot helmet, second shot to kill. I vaulted over the counter and grabbed the three pistols. These things were so stupid. You couldnt even remove the clips. Once you ran out of shots, the pistol was useless. Nonetheless, i didnt have any choice. I had a laser baton and 18 total shots in 3 pistols.
Upon leaving the building, my motorcycle was one of the few things to survive. It had alot of scratches and damage, but it still worked. The helmet was shattered however. I mounted the motorcycle and took off towards the next closest dmv. Maybe id find some better gear there.
Chapter 3
Pulling up next to the second dmv i immediately noticed 3 things. 1: there was blood everywhere. 2: there were 25 soldiers here. And 3: they all had energy weapons. The reason these things are relevant is because energy weapons dont cause bloodshed. This was the result of something else. Something new i hadnt dealt with yet.
I drove up and ran over 5 of the soldiers. This was probably an incredibly bad idea, seeing as i had 18 shots, enough for 9 kills, and there were 20 soldiers left. Every single soldier turned to me and i, being the absolute genius that i am, welded the front of one of the pistols shut with the laser baton, shot it off, and threw it into thei crowd of soldiers. It exploded, releasing a shockwave of energy and disabling the soldiers. I then used the baton to cut through the riot gear and kill the soldiers. I felt like a badass. That is until a mechanical looking wolf jumped at me and started trying to rip my face off.
The wolf was a frostwolf, except it had been placed into a mechanical frame and its teeth and claws had been replaced with lasers. I tried to bash it off of me with the baton but it just bit it in two. This gave me just enough time to grab an energy pistol and shoot the wolf. It kept trying to kill me amd i wasted a whole clip on it until suddenly, the dog started to levitate in the air and got thrown aside into a wall. I got up and was instantly frozen in place. Thats when.. she walked up.
Chapter 4
The she i am reffering to is ebony. A goth/punk wannabe with light blue tear shaped eyes and black hair with purple streaks. Shes a bitch whos mind got too powerful and now she can move things without touching them. Shes been chasing me for months. Not in a murderous way. Shes just obsessed with me. Ive tried to tell her im gay but she wont listen. And now im at her mercy.
She walked up to me and kissed me on the cheek. I hated it. She looked as if she was contemplating whether or not to free me when a pod came down from the sky and crushed her. Thank god. But i honestly wouldve rathered suffered at her hand than deal with what i had to deal with next...
Out of the pod came the warden. The goddamn warden from sector ⬽:➻. Last id seen him hed been in the same situation as ebony. Crushed to death under a pod. But this time, instead of being on my side, he was here to kill me. He was huge. Like seriously huge. He was at least 8 feet tall and shaped like gaston. Whos gaston? Nobody knows these days. But its basically a way to say "extremely buff and wide". Back to the story. The warden wasnt looking very good, considering the rotten skin, obviously quickly patched together face, and muscles hanging loose out of his skin. His rotting ruined body was held together by an exoskeleton of chromium-tungsten alloy. Nothing i had was gonna cut through that. I was gonna have to get creative here..
The warden had 2 weapons, both of them were his fists. Huge gauntlets that were each about the size of a cow. Definitely bigger than his previous set. They were a golden green metal i couldnt identify. But i didnt want to get hit with one to try and find out. I ran. I ran as fast i could run into the dmv and hid. I could hear the wardens footsteps. It was as if a small earthquake happened each time he took a step.
I peeked over the desk i was hiding behind and saw him punch through the 2 desks opposite to me. It took no effort and i couldve sworn i saw him smile. Obviously i didnt. Cause he didnt have a mouth anymore. But if he did, he definitely wouldve smiled. I took a shot to get his attention and ran off towards the wall. The warden was definitely faster than i expected.
Luckily i managed to dodge the blow by a centimeter. The metal smelled of decaying flesh and popcorn. The wardens blow punched a huge hole in the wall. I hope you see where im going with this.
I ran off to another wall and we repeated this same process a number of times until the building was barely still up. I ran out the doors and threw the baton at the last of the supports, cutting through it and causing the building to collapse in on the warden. He wasnt getting out of that. I decided to search the rubble to see if i could find anything worth taking. I found a new baton, a flame rifle and a few more energy pistols.
The flame rifle was a very interesting design. The sides were painted jet black with flame decals scattered about. You could feel the heat on the inside and it made the gun warm to the touch. Comfortable to hold. Other than that though, it looked like an old fashioned 8.59mm sniper rifle. It had 4 shots remaining, so id have to use it sparingly.
I grabbed some scrap materials out of the rubble to make a holster for it and put it on my back.
The energy pistols just dangled from a keychain. The baton was simply turned off and placed through a hole in the back pockets of my shorts. I ran to my motorcycle and drove off, i needed to find out more. I had questions, and i had a sneaking suspicion that i knew where to find the answers.
I drove off again, i was dirty and there was blood on me and my bike. I probably looked like a serial killer. But i knew that if anyone was still alive, itd be jayden. They were.. well. They were a vampire. They lived in a swampland area and wore sparkly rainbow shirts and a huge sunhat. The sunhat allowed them to go outside in the sun, and they only drank coconut water. They also had a crazy amount of weaponry and used to work at ergon, before being fired for stealing weaponry. By the way, if you havent noticed by now, im using they/them to refer to jayden. Jayden doesnt have a gender. Jayden.. is kind of my crush. It probably has something to do with the fact that theyre the only person on this planet who talks to me. Other than ebony.. but ebony is... not my type i guess. Anyways, back to jayden. Jayden was on the roof of their swamp shack drinking coconut water out of a wine glass. I yelled up at them and they fell off the roof onto my back. I guess i cushioned their fall. Jayden immediately said "What do you need dear" without waiting for me to stand up, and shattered the wine glass. I informed them of the situation and asked the questions i had. Things like "what are the ergon soldiers defences like on their ships" and "how did they reanimate the warden" they had answers.
Jayden told me about the new security measures that had been put in place since id last been on an ergon ship. There was now a code for each teleportation pod and the gaurds had doubled. As for the warden, it turns out jayden was actually the first test run in reanimation sciences, and couldnt answer me because they had been unconcious in a lab when the warden was reanimated. That explained the vampire undead thing. Jayden invited me into the shack where they pulled a nail out of the floorboards and it turned into a ramp to the basement. Down in the basement? Thats where jayden kept their weapons they stole. And boy oh boy were there some interesting ones.
One that immediately caught my attention was the big rocket launcher. It had 3 barrels and each was a different colour, indicating a different effect. One was red, one was yellow, and one was green. The red barrel fired a normal explosive rocket, the yellow barrel fired an electromagnetic pulse rocket, and the green barrel fired an acidic explosive. And the launcher shrunk down to the size of an energy pistol when a button was pressed. It gathered up dirt and dust and garbage around it from the back to quickly convert into ammo but the only downside is that it would be difficult to use more than once in an area.
Jayden picked out an old shotgun. At first i didnt understand why, but then they loaded the clip. The clip was a huge drum that loaded in the bottom of the barrel. The drum was see through and inside you could see sawblades lined up side by side. When they pumped the shotgun a blade got lifted into a slot between the 2 shotgun barrels and started glowing red. When the trigger was pulled, the blade spun at high speeds and fired out of the slot, spinning along the ground like a wheel. It could cut through anything a baton could cut through and seemed to almost follow its target. The gun itself looked like an DP-12, except behind the pump, a large clear drum full of sawblades was in place. The blade sat between the barrels in place of the iron sights and got heated up by an electrical circut.
I also took a laser sword instead of my baton, it was just like the one that [3825968] had, except this one was about an inch longer. The final weapon i took was an acid thrower. It was basically just a watergun with acid in it. Ive always been partial to acidic weapons. If youve heard my other story, youd know why..
Jayden also took a submachine gun that fired freezing rounds. The rounds were essentially glorified waterballoons with liquid nitrogen in them. Though the rounds were bullet sized, enough shots from it would certainly freeze you in place. The freeze gun was about the size of the average human head, and was painted navy blue with blue saphire stripes placed along it. We both left the shack, me with my sword and jayden with a wine glass. We were ready to kick ass and put a stop to this.
We left and immediately both got flung into some trees. Guess who it was. It was ebony. Her body had been found and reanimated. I was starting to see a pattern. And now we had to fight the telekinetic who could kill us with a wave of her hand.
She was levitating. Her eyes were glowing red and her hair was floating in the air. She had a smile of someone about to rip your arms off and beat you with them. I tried to take a shot at her but my hand got knocked aside by an invisible force. So i tried the next best thing. Seduction. Fake seduction. Hopefully the whole dying and coming back from the dead thing didnt make her stop being weirdly obsessed with me.
While i faked surrender and complimented ebony and attempted to seduce her, jayden took aim of their ice gun and shot a burst at ebonys right arm. The arm froze in place and shattered. Hopefully that would lower the strength of her telekinetic abilities. It did. But only by about half. Which meant jayden got thrown into the air as i tried to discreetly unholster my acid gun. It wasnt discreet enough and the gun was knocked from my hand.
The gun flew forwards and the impact of hitting the ground set it off for a second, just enough to spray an acidic burn through her arm. Incapacitating her. Jayden ended up sneaking up behind her and impaling her through the skull with the shattered end of their wine glass. Finally ebony was dead for good.
The acid gun was busted, so we had to leave it behind. We got onto my motorcycle and took off towards my apartment building. We would need food if we were going to be traveling. An apartment complex would probably be full of foods, and alot of dead people who wouldnt care if we took some stuff.
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splendidshinobi · 4 years ago
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FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST 2003 LIVE REACT: EPISODES 6-10
back at it again with the white vans
episode 6: the alchemy exam
alrighty then
um mustang calling edward “ed” is EXTREMELY offputting
ohhhhhhh noooooo not shou tucker
FUCK
im wholly unprepared
them all being in central instead of east is low key jarring like my brain isnt computing it
alexander’s intro is basically the same 
nina bbyyyyy girl u deserved so much better
ed is such a fucking nerd...chemistry club modern au confirmed
god the more tucker talks the more i wanna beat his face in
al pretending to eat by tossing a potato in his armor i-
aww theyre playing in the snow theyre so pure
wonder how long thatll last
“bigger brother” and “little big brother” and ed doesnt even get mad
ed’s birthday party????????
A MELON? ED YOURE SO RUDE
so 03 had ed’s bday instead of elicia’s...CAUSE THEY GOT ELICIA IN THE WOMB
“it’s here!” “the tea?” “the baby!” hughes is a fuck head
ok so now they’re having elicia replace rush valley baby arc
this was winry’s time to shine in fmab i miss her 
if winry isnt here who is gonna birth this baby
oh my god they just realized ed can use alchemy without a circle
no wonder he’s been using circles this whole time
SO ELICIA JUST POPPED OUT????? WHAT
STUFF ALEXANDER IN THE ARMOR AND PRETEND YOURE A TALKING DOG???
“i dont think thats very funny” NO ALPHONSE IT IS NOT
THEY KNEW EXACTLY WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT ONE I SWEAR TO GOD IN THIS ESSAY I WILL
damn bradley what up homie
im so thrown off by the way theyre doing the exam omg
seriously what the hell is fuhrer bradley’s purpose right now is he even the fuhrer in this i feel like they wouldve mentioned it
oh lord ed is about to impress everyone with his clappy hands
ok so next episode is nina FUCK
episode 7: night of the chimera’s cry
havoc babeeee
im gonna marry him my himbo king
also can RIZA DO SOMETHING PLZ
“huhhhhhhhh nina” ew tucker that was weirdly gross
wonder why
cant do it cant do it
do we think jean kirstein was modeled after jean havoc slightly looks wise
was that purposeful 
ill have to google 
serial killer who only targets women?  it cant be scar...scar drinks respect women juice
barry or slicer bros maybe? um ok
why did we start with liore if they were just gonna hop right back into the past for a huge chunk of episodes idk
assessment day??? oh noodles
AL WHY DID YOU TELL TUCKER TO MAKE ANOTHER TALKING CHIMERA ALPHONSE NO
THE NOISE I EMITTED IM GONNA TAKE A LAP
im gonna FUCKING SCREAM
ed r u writing to winry??? that’s a bit out of character for u good sir
no tucker put that baby down
im gonna fucking SCREAM
aww he burned nina’s picture thats not sus at all
SHESKA!!!!!
wait does the ironblood alchemist know what tucker did to his wife? thats kinda the vibe im getting
SCARRRRRRRR
looking like a pirate too damn
his voice sounds different is that j michael tatum 
apparently not it was dameon clarke in 03 ya learn something new everyday 
ew elicia has a lot of hair for a FUCKING NEWBORN
ed really is such a cynic very suspicious of everyone as he should be really
basque grand knowS SOMETHING
oh jesus oh fuck oh god please do not TOUCH THAT BABY
ed and al snuck back in to the house well u know what its for the best
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
im gonna cry again please god no
FUCKING DIE SHIT HOLE
she’s hurting? oh my god
my sweet angel
ew his eyes!!!!!!! 
tucker is such a fucking failure...like look at the chimera squad and greed’s theatre troupe being the way they are. ugh it really hits how fucking unfair it is 
ed was really about to split them? boy you know better
where is nina going...im hurting
ed really tried to save her in this one
SCAR KILLS NINA IN THE STREETS???????? SIR
thats different
oh snap 
oh FUCK
SCAR WHY DID YOU LEAVE HER BODY LIKE THAT
THE WAY SHE WAS ARRANGED ON THE WALL THAT WAS FUCKED UP
AND THEY FOUND HER LIKE THAT???? AT LEAST IN BROTHERHOOD THEY DIDNT HVE TO SEE HER CORPSE ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
that was fucked.
episode 8: the philosopher’s stone
can yall get ed and al away from nina’s fucking MURAL 
get out of the car mustang
finally jesus christ
roy mustang talking about healthy coping mechanisms dont make me laugh but alright baby boy go off i guess?
im curious about who this goddamn serial killer is though lets turn to that plot thread
r u kidding me
mustang is making ed and al take over tucker’s research?? thats actually wildly messed up
oh tucker was straight executed that’s a choice i guess
tucker and the philosopher’s stone sounds inaccurate but ok
ed please stop being mean to your brother
03 mustang has got me reaching for a fucking baseball bat on GOD
scar and edward having this conversation right now i literally cannot
WINRY yes bitch
BRADLEY WHAT IN TARNATION
JESUS LORRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDD
alphonse shut your mouthhhhhhhhhhh
im so confused what is bradley up to
“alchemists are not cold blooded murderers?”
i mean
kimblee would beg to differ for one
whos this creepy lady 
her voice sounds familiar
barry’s food shop?
the killer is barry ok got it
IS BARRY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN
I KNEW THAT WAS JERRY JEWELL’S VOICE
WELL I KNEW IT SOUNDED FAMILIAR AT LEAST
WINRY GET OUT OF THE FUCKING TRUCk
has PINAKO TAUGHT YOU NOTHING
ok so i VASTLY prefer suit of armor original manga canon barry
this is such an odd plot what in fuck
um OW the meat cleaver
im so confused this fucking plotline
oh hey alphonse nice of you to show up!
is barry still gonna become a suit of armor later on
it makes NO SENSE to introduce him otherwise 
everytime i see 03 mustang i wanna beat his ass HONESTLY
literally i will shove my foot up his ass
fullmetal here we go
ed thinks he’s so punk rock 
oh great scar’s seen the watch
episode 9: be thou for the people
ed you simp buying winry all this stuff my edwin heart is ascending
SIMP SIMP SIMP
“mr. elric”?? you mean MAJOR ELRIC
to be fair though fuck the military
YOUSWELL??? oh LORD
im gonna need to read a full chronology of this show
 alphonse continues to be a precious angel 
where’s my boy yoki!!!!!
edward you idiot don’t go flaunting your money
woof woof ed
al looks so offended by ed saying they just met
whereas in brotherhood didnt he totally throw ed under the bus??? 
a choice to be sure
ah there he is hello yoki
who’s the chick
shes a lesbian
yoki makes me miss my baby girl mei chang
mei where r u
WAS THIS MILITARY DUDE REALLY ABOUT TO CUT DOWN A CHILD??? oh my god
hawkeye getting a promotion yes bby girl
jesus theyre transferring them to east now OKKKKKAY thats not how it happened it the book but ill take it....just doing it the opposite way i guess
who is lyra who is she
cute some military bribery 
umm lyra what the fuck did you do
lyra is a homunculus im callin it now
they definitely invented/changed up some homunculi in fact im certain they did and shes one of em. gotta be
i feel like 03 wrote ed as much more insensitive towards others than he really is...just a vibe im getting
i know he was faking for the townspeople’s sake but i still get this vibe from other instances 
i mean i cant say its not “canon” because its 03 canon
anyways what a show off
i cant believe theyre going to east...fuery and breda better be there
ok finally some answers on their ages....ed got his license at 12 like normal and nina and youswell were when he was 12...liore was 15, 
if they didnt flash the ages on the screen id be lost honestly
at least we’re back up to “present day”
episode 10: the phantom thief
ed saying he doesnt wanna see mustang
same
03 mustang is activating my fight or flight and im choosing fight
ed cheating at cards totally checks out
um who the fuck is this woman
what is she wearing
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT CUTOUT MAAM HOW DO YOUR C**CHY LIPS NOT POKE OUT
idk but this is fem!hisoka
“hey shouldnt we talk first” after getting handcuffed??? christ almighty these innuendos
siren??????? siren is probably also a “fake” homunculus
ugh
ok so the nurse is siren
ya aint slick girly
alphonse control your crush
I REFUSE!!!! ALMEI RIGHTS
why is al’s hair so brown in this flashback anywayssss
oh its spelled psiren ope
like she’s literally a batman villain...
oh my god...............the tiddy grab. my son would never
my son is respectful
is this her homunculus tat or just a random alchemy tat
the added plotlines and original content continue to confuse and astound me every single time....
ok but if psiren really was doing this for the hospital she wouldnt be so flashy about it. like thats how you get caught sweet cheeks
girly stop flirting with this child on god im gonna fucking kick you
now shes a nun????????????????
Shes a fucking troll i hate her
im going to kick alphonse into the sun 
oh great now shes a teacher
wow shes a savior. the savior of amestrian venice. greatttttt
ed looking exactly like this emoji on this gondola rn 🧍‍♀️
STOP FLIRTING WITH THE CHILD 
GOD THIS IS SO BATMAN VILLAIN ESQUE
alphonse plzzzzzzzzzz she aint your girl
ok so probably not the last we see of this ding dong con artist
ok so its starting to get muddy. im scared the 03 stans are gonna come after me like i do like it and im having fun watching it but some of the plot and characterization choices are just....odd??? idk i gotta keep going though!! im sorry i just stan arakawa and her work in all her glory!!!
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the-gay-cryptid · 5 years ago
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Okay, I'm super pissed right now and I dont want to bother my friends with this, theyve got shit of their own, I just need to get the angry out of my system.
I want to shave my head. I want to because it would give me a feeling of control and it's the much safer, less permanent, and less painful of my three options: shave head, get piercing, get tattoo. Since whatever I picked would be self done, I naturally went with shaving my head.
I'm no fucking idiot though, I've done my research. I know that, because of my hair type and my own preferences, I dont want it too short. I would first get a #8 attachment, which it the longest you can get. That's what I would use. I looked up a video of someone comparing the lengths of each attachment when actually used on hair, so I have a better idea of what it would actually look like since I'm not good at visualizing lengths.
I was going to tell my mom all this, show her that this isnt a sudden decision, and that I've actually done research and know what to do/expect. It was still entirely possible she'd say no, but this approach was my best chance to convince her.
I told me dad this morning, "I want to shave my head. I think I'd have to order attachments since your clippers are too short, but its definitely doable." I said it this way because I've never had to prove to my dad that I know what I'm doing, like I'm writing a damn research paper.
He wasnt a fan, because he thinks I'll look like a man. He doesnt want me to look too masculine. That's a problem to revisit at a later time. I pointed out that I already look like a boy when I wear hats, my hair grows out fast, and that how he wants me to look isnt my problem. He conceded to all three points, though he still wasnt a fan. He wouldnt stop me, but we both knew I had to convince mom before I even picked up the clippers.
Mom came in, and we said good morning and so on. Then Dad says "she wants to shave her head." Which was the absolute worst possible way to introduce that to my mother.
To her credit, she handled it well. She said she didnt think it would suit my head shape, but if I wanted to I couldn't but if I did it she wasnt going to pay for my hair appointments anymore, even if I grew my hair out again. I wouldnt really mind paying for my own cuts and colors, it's just that it's kinda expensive and I have 10$ and no income until August assuming we're back on campus next semester. I figured I'd think about it.
I took a shower, did makeup, and finished making some earrings I started last night. Then I went to show my parents, because i was proud and I thought they looked cool.
Dad loved them, mom definitely thought they were tacky, but I'm used to that and she's given up trying to convince me that tacky jewelry is bad.
She was making a face that screamed "not a fan", and I asked her why she was making said face. I expected a comment about how people would judge me, and I was totally emotionally prepared for that and ready to let it roll off. But instead, she says
"This doesn't seem like a good use of your time. I just dont feel like enough work is getting done"
I dont know if any of you know this about me, but I'm very sensitive about my work ethic. I've had problems in the past, but I've worked fucking hard to learn the self discipline and time management I have today. It's not perfect, but I'm better than I was. So when people imply that I'm not doing enough, or I'm lazy, or that I'm wasting my time instead of working, I take it a little harder than most.
I didnt linger, because it wouldnt help anyone. I just left and waited in the kitchen to vent to my dad.
"I just wanted to show her something cool." I said. I kept my voice low, because mom has a habit of walking in when I'm venting about her and then getting overly offended and turning it into me being disrespectful. "And she just ignored it-" at which point my dad cut me off. He doesnt like when I complain about mom. He doesnt like the confrontation that occurs if she over hears, and he doesnt like seeing her upset that her kid is implying shes a bad mom. She isnt, but she's not perfect, and as a grown ass woman who lectures me about the same flaw, she should be able to take criticism.
I'm still a bit pissed, so I just grabbed my laptop and went upstairs to do schoolwork. I dont have much to do, since, contrary to my mother's suggestion, I'm very on top of my work, and even ahead on some of it.
Just now, I went down stairs to take a break and grab my house shoes. I talked to my dad a little bit about some netflix shows. Then, because I thought maybe I could sway him a little, I showed him the video of someone comparing all the attachments and how short they actually cut.
I also pointed out that mom wouldve reacted better if hed let me explain what I wanted. He disagreed, so I told him how I'd present the idea:
"I have something I want to do, and I've done a lot of research, so I understand what to do, what I'd need, and how to do it the way I have in mind. I'd like to shave my head, not super short though. I'd use the longest attachment..." et cetera, et cetera.
Basically I'd just prove to her this wasnt decided on a whim. And then I'd ask her opinion. She'd hate it, but at least she'd probably consider it. Even Dad admitted it might have worked.
I started telling him why I wanted to do it, the whole needing to feel in control thing. But he was putting away clothes and heading his and Moms room, and if mom heard me talking through all this she'd get mad and double down on the "fuck no" stance. So I dropped it for now.
But then my dad thought hed be real fucking funny. I was standing in the bathroom with him, and he turned on his clippers and started to reach for my hair. I grabbed his arm to stop him. I knew he was joking, it was just my knee jerk reaction since his clippers have NO attachment and would actually buzz my head completely.
He then said, very smugly, that that's the reaction of someone who doesn't actually want to shave their head. I told him that wasnt funny, and started to explain that I stopped him because it wouldve been the wrong length.
But mom, being in the bedroom right fucking next to us, got PISSED. She then informed us, mainly me, that I wasnt allowed to shave my head, and that she'd be so furious if I did it. And now i was mad with both of my parents.
Since I couldnt be delicate about it anymore, I told her point blank the whole conversation this morning wouldve gone better if dad hadnt said anything, and that I was going to actually explain myself before telling her I wanted to shave my head.
She listened to my whole explanation. I'll give her that. But when I finished, she just hummed and went back to her work. Which is mom for "fuck no, and this is a stupid idea."
As all conversations with my mother inevitably go, I went to the kitchen to talk to dad. I told him he shouldnt have done any of that, and that now, because of him goofing off, mom wasnt taking anything of said seriously.
He told me he was sorry he did that, but that he didn't want me to do it anyway. I reminded him, in far less polite terms than usual, that I dont care what he thinks and that it's my hair and my choice.
He agreed and apologized again, still just as insincere.
Since I didnt have the patience or calmness to try and talk about it further, I went back upstairs. I heard him calling me a little bit ago, probably to talk again, but I'm still fucking angry.
Because of him not only taking away my ability to bring this up with my mom on my own terms, and then ruining any chances of her taking me seriously, theres no way in hell I'm going to be able to do what I wanted. I know shaving my head isnt that big of a deal, but the amount of bullshit its brought out of them both is infuriating.
If he'd just kept his fucking mouth shut this morning, all this could've gone so much better.
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arkus-rhapsode · 6 years ago
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Eden’s Zero Chapter 1 Review
Hey guys, now before I dive into this already longer than usual review, I did wanna take this time to mention something. Its been no secret that I turned on Mashima and FT pretty hardly after the end of FT and some of you may be aware that I was moderately active in the fanbase with putting out my reviews and such. That said some may liken that shift in mentality to me not liking how the story went and a common critique of fans is that when what they’re fans of doesn’t gel with what they want they wanna destroy it. As if the fan has ownership of the source of the fanaticism.
I admit there are times that I’ve question decisions on Hiro Mashima’s end and has posted rewrites, but that’s not me doing it out of a sense of ownership. I’m doing it because I have a standard. Being a fan of something and letting your disappointment get to you and fester into salty, bitchy purest is one thing, but being a person who’s judging what a series puts out and actually caring about the quality of what’s in the popular media is important. FT got negative reviews in its latter half because it was that bad. By the end of the series it was legit that bad. Now I don’t say that is someone who was in the fanbase and hated Hiro’s decisions cause they weren’t mine, I hated them because it was bad writing. I’m a reader with standards, as are all of you, and in the digestion of media we make distinctions between good and bad. I make this claim with more concrete surety now that I’ve been around longer and have reviewed more series than just FT, I think it be harder to believe if I made this case when I was just starting and all I was talking about at the time was FT.
Some of you might remember when I first started out on MHA, my second chapter I ever reviewed I had found it boring and mundane and to date its my least popular MHA review and I still stand by that assertion. I hold everything to the same standard, and that includes FT. The reason I write this is that while throughout this review I will mention comparison’s to FT’s first chapter (and yes, even ways Eden’s Zero improved on it), but I will be holding it to the same standard. So this entire review won’t be me holding a grudge against Hiro, but it will be me holding it to the same standard as I do everything I read. That out of the way lets dive in.
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We open on a hill side and met our MC named Shiki. Beside him is the mecha demon from the cover page and what they see is a... dragon. Yeah, Hiro I thought you wanted this to be wholely original?
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On the hand I actually like this scene in the sense robo demon here is actually encourging actual adventure (something FT lacked) and its kinda amazing listening to this demon looking guy talking about friendship, yet on the other hand, damnit Hiro. Is this the only thing how to write about? Like damn man.
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We cut to the future where we see our main female Lucy-I mean Rebecca! Y’know I could make a Rebecca from One Piece joke, but she’s kinda already a bit of a decisivee figure so I’m not gonna bother.
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I mean its okay. Its just castle theme park. Also Rebecca we find out is apparently a youtuber. Look if DBS can have GodTube then I can put up with Blue Cate (Aoneko) website. Also yeah Happy here, no sugar coating its just Happy. Also Rebecca here purposely made her skirt short. Just because you point out the sexualization in canon doesn’t make it better, ya still drew it, Hiro.
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We see that the theme park is full of robots and each one acts as an assist in sending the guest through some kind of medieval simulator. And if anyone has seen Westworld you know where this is heading. To be fair I love worldbuilding so please, explore!
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So we find out Rebecca’s dream is to have one million suscribers and now here’s where I gotta give props to Hiro because he actual made a dream for a character that doesn’t seem like it can be achieved a chapter from now. Granted this seems a bit hard to actually quantify, but this dream could potenially evolve into something of why she wants the suscribers and could be like Nami making the map of the world that getting video of unknown locations may actually be worth something to the general population.
We see that Rebecca chooses to go on a monster hunting quest and they encounter...
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...This thing. Also it seems Rebecca’s character quirk is she really likes cats I guess? But this doesn’t last long as someone crashes down on mecha cat.
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Okay that was kinda funny. I mean if this was FT would’ve actually gotten the panty shot so maybe Hiro has learned his lesson! Also note that wrench!
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Oh god damnit Hiro. So this tarzan guy after acting like an animal is knocked out by Rebecca. Y’know it took about 60 chapters before Natsu got all up in Lucy’s chest, guess we’re cutting straight to the chase here.
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Okay is joke with here just going be about here short skirt? Damning it with faint praise here, but at least he still hven’t flashed us them yet. Also Tarzan here is the only human on the island.
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We get some scenes of Shiki here wanting to be friends with Rebecca cause she’s a human and Rebecca isn’t interested and she returns to the Granbell town where Shiki is there and the robots know who he is.
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Shiki’s expressions and creepy advances really gives off this tinge of sci-fi horror, unfortunate Hiro doesn’t really go that route and we’ll get to it. Also that wizard looking robot from the color page is also here.
They then have a party where the robots all celebrate them having a costumer for the first time in so long they have a party being nice to Rebecca and lavishing her with stuff outside is robot that looks like Robin Hood and he reports to his boss this machine king.
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Oh look, Hades if he was a robot.
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We see Shiki trying to bond with Rebecca and it leads to him expressing he wants to leave the kingdom and see another country, but we also learn he’s in charge of fixing this and the robots are acting up lately. We find out that the one who was talking to Shiki and is his “Grandfather” was called the Demon King a robot designed for playing that role in the park.
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Umm Rebecca... That’s being a dick. So you don’t like it, so you decide to cut it, cause it bothers you. You could’ve framed it like, “If he fixes you up then maybe he needs better vision” or “He’s been so nice to me, let me do something for him.” And what makes this worse s that Shiki is asleep, so she doesn’t even consult his feelings. Like seriously, that’s not being a good friend . But for contrivances sake I’m sure Shiki will wake up and love it, won’t he?
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Huh? I was wrong instead we got shitty 80s comedy. I don’t know if that’s better or worse.
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Y’know I said I’d give Hiro atleast two free fanservice moments for his first 3 chapters. He’s now used all of them up in a single chapter. Also Rebecca is tied to a stake while robots with torches surround her along with the machine king.
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Shiki is also there and here’s something that did remind me of rave, the tightness of the first chapter. Everything seems to flow like one continuous story and doesn’t seem to do some dumb interlude like FTs first chapter did with that awkward moment where Lucy leaves Natsu and she’s just randomly in the park reading.
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The King wants to use her ship to leave this world and we get som kind of motivation out of him.
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Oh wow, for a first chapter villain that’s actually a really deep thing to unload. That as amusment park hosts they must’ve just been seen as pleasure tools and with no one around these robots who seem to be senstinent must’ve felt betrayed and...
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Oooooor you cut out all moral ambiguity by just saying they have a virus. Sure. Trust me, this is where it gets stupid really stupid. And that’s the inconsistency.
So these robots I guess are like the ones from the Animatrix where they just kinda develop sentience out of nowhere. But unlike Animatrix it doesn’t seem to imply when they developed this sentience and that they began to think they were being abused.
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Tired of Friendship already, it ain’t leaving.
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So why do you hate humans? They abandoned you I guess, but there’s not other robot saying “hey our times were fun together” no everyone is like they left us to rot  so we hate them. Not like Humans did anything legitimate bad. We actually see that at the end of the chapter that there is some sort of central battery on the park that all robots are hooked up to. You could make their reason for hating humans that. That even though they left these sentiment robots still had a little kingdom to themselves, but realized that its all just going to end one day and humans didn’t even bother to unplug them. They’re existence is literally knowing when they’ll die, imagine that as why they harbor negative emotions and maybe Shiki actually fixing things might’ve actually been prolonging their lives so maybe that be why they kept him around. This whole sentience things just feels like Hiro wanted to do a trope of crazy robots and ended using multiple to fit the whatever story purpose at the moment.
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You do run the planet, dumbasses. This entire plane, apparently for hundreds of years, has been solely controlled by you. Maye this should be rephrased as, going to the place that built you to get revenge or as I spoiled with the battery we’ll take the ship to get more power for our kingdom?
Shiki doesn’t do anything and kinda lets the robots just wail on him as he found out all things in his life were a lie. Then Rebecca gives a friendship speech. A stupid stupid friendship speech.
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You’re right, Rebecca! Too bad we didn’t see that. I’m serious we barely see memories of Shiki with any robot outside of the demon king and Michael so there’s no weight to this conflict. We only get the vague sense they raised hm, but there’s no moments of Shiki really laughingg and enjoying their company outside of the party with Rebecca which rather is made more for getting Shiki to like Rebecca for this moment.
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Shiki remembers what his Grandpa the Demon King said and just blows them all away.
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We see Shiki’s hand and apparently he has these marks indicating he has Ether gear. The power system of this series.
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You’re sentiment! You have out grown your programming! You can choose to have a concept of friendship.
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So they fight with shitty action scenes (If I can give Horikoshi a hard time for how he draws his fight choreography, then I sure as hell will give Hiro the once over.) Happy manages to save Rebecca and like Happy from early FT, he basically spots off exposition on powers.
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So is it like a literal gear? Because Happy afterward destincties as the Gear of Gravity, so is it like a devil fruit? Is ether in all humans, but this specific gear brings it out in a certain way? If its internal then I guess its like the magic circuits from Fate? And then every of has their own unique variation like Nen? Like cause Happy gives it the distinction of Gravity it doesn’t seem like Shiki gives a reason why he has this power. I’m hoping \its like devil fruits, literal gears you implant and then it brings out your ether in a certain way.
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Shiki punches out the machine king and cause a massive collapse.
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Credit where credit is due, Hiro actually did build up the reveal of this power throughout the chapter and its actually really well done. Kinda reminds of something Oda would do with subtly building up a devil fruit power without revealing it. Like Crocodile drying out a flower but it isn’t stated his power is specifically sand.
They then flee when the other robots rally and Shiki takes Rebecca back to her ship.
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This scene would actually be really nice if we actually saw more young shiki actually having fun with the machines and not a being a creeper with them.
Shiki and Rebecca take off and we see the universe.
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Not gonna lie, that’s a really pretty shot. Like damn, I could get behind this.
It seems like worlds in this universe are basically like kingdom hearts worlds. They’re not real “worlds” so much as they are islands in space.
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Sure, keep the mystery alive why don’t you, no that be too much.
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Well great place to end the chapter. Little dry of a first story, but I definetly see that has room for improvment and there is something-Wait this isn’t the last page? But what else is there to talk about. There’s nothing left-
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Oh for fuck sake. That’s right they were trying to send SHiki away. Because apparently these robots thought there was no way to restore battery life even if stayed.
Here’s a tip, ifyou really care, and had such a close bond, maybe tell him to leave? Tell SHiki the truth that you guys are tied to a battery and instead of Shiki vowing to leave for the stars so he can make 100 friends (I’m not kiding that’s his actual goal here). Then this would be an interesting goal.
But no, you have to act like human hating jackasses and shatter the boy’s entire reality, just so you he would go out and “change the universe”
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This would be a really nice scene with a very nice amount of character development starting point, if we actually saw their past. All we know is they raised Shiki, but its never really seemed like they’re loving or caring or Shiki openly gets upset if one of them had a problem. Again the biggest flaw with this chapter is that it sacrifices seeing one potentially interesting relationship (Shiki and the robots) for another one (Rebecca).
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So we end on this page which reveals that Shiki’s goal is to have a hundred friends. Not going to say something snarky I just realized this is the same motivation as Yuki from future diary. Like before the crazy yandere shit.
Post Chapter follow up:
Lets be positive and look at the good stuff in this chapter. The first thing great about this chapter is it improved upon two of the biggest failings in the first chapter FT. Goals established and world building. Not only does this set up force Hiro Mashima to actually world build (literally) but each person in the first chapter has a goal that doesn’t seem like it can be accomplished quickly. It means we can have investment in the story.
Another thing I’ll give is Shiki is an okay MC. He has more personality than Natsu, but not as much as Haru and this first chapter is about him. Its easy to understand that Lucy is often considered the MC of FT because it literally focuses on her for the story than Natsu. But this chapter had a healthy balance.
Also the power system at least seems to have some definition. Unlike how anyone could have magic yet normal people just don’t choose to use it like in FT. Ether Gear seems to be a powersource that only a select few can use. Now we need to see first if there are ways of combating it like technology or such so a non ether gear person can still fight.
It also has its own unique aesthetic. Ft is a pretty generic fantasy world. It doesn’t have the bleakness of bereserk or the Japanese aesthetic of naruto. You could say Black CLover, Fairy Tail, and Seven Deadly sins all had their first chapter happen in the same world and I’d have trouble arguing it.
Now on to the crappy stuff. This series suffers from the usual Mashima foibles such as the sexual harassment, the stupidly way it tries to justify and give all conflict happy ending, not actually bothering to have a situation drawn out ad built up too, etc. I mean for the first conflict of the chapter its a heavy one, these guys raised SHiki yet their own mentality is against humans so Shiki has to choose, but instead of actually answering that question, it turns out there was no real conflict and the machines were just faking.
As for my like for Shiki, I flat hate Rebecca. She is so pointless and useless. Look I will defend Lucy and she actually can d things. First chapter she saved Natsu by using aquarius. But Rebecca? She’s just all of the bad traits of post timeskip Lucy. She is used for pointless fanservice, does nothing contribute, and becomes a mouth piece for friendship.
Speaking of friendship as a concept and goal here, Hiro just rewrite what you mean. Have deeper meaning than friends for once. There is ways you could take the motivation “I want to make 100 friends” in a compelling way. Prehaps Shiki is going out to make his own world where he can make a happy place for people where they can laugh and cry in harmony. Like story telling wise its pretty weak.
Like me personally, I would’ve taken the first chapter like this, the robots are sentinet and they are nice to Shiki and Rebecca and they have genuine fun together. They gradually reveal that they are shutting down maybe one starts acting wonky and tries to hide it and maybe the machine king is the real bad guy. He has sentinece and hates humans and he wants to eliminate SHiki and Rebecca and that’s because they’re shutting down. The other robots say they don’t care they were abandoned, they were mad at first but Shiki showed them that why they loved catering to humans. King and Shiki fight and they all reveal they’re shutting down and Shiki cries he doesn’t want them to go. The robots say its inevitable and they don’t hpw to recharge the battery and Shiki vows to leave the planet and search for a power source to bring them all back. Then that’s shiki’s goal and it even can cause questions like “Is it worth all this for machines?” or “who designed them maybe we can figure out the right substance to power them up?”
or if Hiro wanted to go a more darker route. Have the machines have no sentience and literally be dolls for the King who turns out to be a human who stayed here on Granbell and made his own little kingdom. Make it a bit meta on how Shiki’s only friends were just hollow imitations of people who were only friends because that’s what their programming dictated and they can all be switched off. It be meta as critiquing Ft and how all the guild characters basically had no conflicts, all got along, and were just friends with no depth or reason.
This all highlights the issue with Hiro Mashima and that’s he is not a good a writer. Hiro is an incredibly talented person and can come up with incredibly unique ideas and looks, which is why his cover pages are the best things he puts out because its him free forming. But writing. He has a limited scope on that and stuff like sci-fi and fantasy can be very morally grey things. But Hiro doesn’t seem to understand tragedy in the sense that its tragic because a person fails or dies unsatisfied. But he only seems to know how to write painfully obvious concepts like “save the world” or “friendship” instead doing a concept like “what it is to be a hero” like MHA does which can have a variety of answers to it.
So what’s the final verdict? Well I actually am going to do something different than usual. I’m going to say what I though the quality was compared to FT and then to what I’d consider this work compared to anything else.
In comparison to FT, Eden’s Zero gets a Final verdict of 8/10
Improves on a lot of FT’s first chapter flaws
Created a more unique environment for a story
And actually has a lot tighter narrative
But in comparison to everything else...
Final Verdict: 5/10
Even if it wasn’t Hiro, its a pretty generic start (some names aren’t even all that inspired like Machine King, Demon King)
Potential to grow into something better is there
Nothing is outright offensive
Cool concept
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masterserris · 5 years ago
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all versions of mysterio are feral bastards, at least a little bit. dramatic and chaotic and cunning and damn dangerous despite just being a Guy. mysterio’s real powers are his words and psychological warfare. 
but not completely evil either. jerks for sure but even still they aren’t ya know... in-human. case and point: Ends of the Earth. p much all mysterio’s i’ve seen do this shit
more spoilers under cut
like gyllenbeck didnt wanna kill parker at all. sure he always had planned to kill nick fury and maybe some civilians would get hurt in his illusion shit to sell it being real, but he really didnt wanna drag peter into it
peter finding the truth put himself and others in danger. 
from a villain perspective, ya gotta tie up loose ends. mysterio was very on-point looking for those little details and possible issues and trying to deal with them
case in point: the trippy mindfuck illusion scene to get rid of parker and the evidence. also the final scene when he notices the issue with the drones RIGHT away.
he’s smart. he dont fuck around. he has plans for plans. i dont think he’s dead. he honestly shouldnt be. if marvel says he’s dead then they are lying cowards imo lol
yeah he’s a huge jerk for tryina kill mj, ned, and all the people who know his secret but it makes sense and it isnt done just to be evil.
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but like what floors me is that mysterio really could have been a hero with all that tech. he was gonna be a hero. he just did it. badly. in a very dangerous way. 
if he’d have just let his grudges go, just talked it out, he could have used all that shit to fight real villains. it worked stupid good against peter. only by a fluke did he even figure out it was fake
sure plenty of other people could have figured out it was fake. but like. he coulda really used that tech to help people more. just own it man. 
deadass you wanted your holograms to change the world and you could have!! but ya let your anger/grudges get in the way. and that is something mysterio always struggles with honestly...
so yeah really good stuff. very much like comic mysterio to a letter except with a bit of a backstory change (that still hits all the necessary beats) and he doesnt seem to have actual fear gas/chemicals/robot doubles (yet). only holograms, projectors, and drones.
love the meta joke that he’s wearing a vfx suit lmao. but maybe i would have liked to see him wear the mysterio suit more instead of only holograms/a few real scenes with him wearing it but it makes sense he can’t. irl it’s a really heavy and restrictive suit.
but he still wore a bubble on his head so mad respecc
PS: even tho hydro man and ESP molten man were fake like i thought they were, they looked cool af. esp when molten man kept growning it was p epic. thanks quentin.
ANYWAYS MYSTERIO IS 12/10 AND HE BETTER NOT BE ACTUALLY DEAD OR IM GONNA RIOT.
he really is alive, i think the post credit wasnt meant by the creators to be ambiguous at all. like that’s proof enough that he’s still out there, imo
it’s he’s really dead and everything from now on is just a projection of him then that’s just disappointing. ugh. we’ll see if gyllenhaal wants/gets casted for another marvel movie i guess. he seemed to like the role a lot so there’s that.
“people will believe anything” as he dies. even believe he’s dead? idk man i just feel like he’s exactly the character to fake his death this well. but it’s it’s just his crew pretending to be mysterio now? bah. 
let beck live 2k19. it’s really up in the air, we’ll see.
edit: i suppose one of the funniest things was that Mysterio is Right.
tony left these glasses of Doom to a kid. the world listened to tony. he had issues. (i’ll defend tony but later ok. tony made enemies a lot)
and people were gonna listen to a “hormonal teenager”
he’s right to be pissed af!! valid!! not so valid in.. ya know killing people but yeah
he was mad that the glasses werent given to the defense force. like hell he made it sound like that would have been ok in his book. he wanted people with the credentials and experience to be given the respect the deserve in the end
when he’s thanking his crew he shows this to a letter. just like comic mysterio. comic mysterio was pissed he wasn’t getting the credit he deserved
gyllenbeck is mad af bc tony pissed all over his entire life. like DAMN. DAMN. 
tony ruined everything for him no wonder he’s pissed. kinda funny tho that mysterio waited until tony was dead to take revenge. not surprising, iron man scared the piss outta people like vulture. lesser, more regular human villains. i mean who wouldn’t be? you’d literally have to be thanos to be not worried about stark and even THEN thanos knew about him. just saying
anyways that trippy mindfuck scene was my absolute fav bc that’s what mysterio is all about and it’s everything i wanted. perhaps i wouldve wanted more but lets not get greedy
also for once mysterio aint a thief. if anything he’s the victim of tony stealing/messing up his life’s work. mysterio aint robbing a bank yo
sure, he kinda tricked peter into giving him the glasses, and it may have partly been for the power trip? but also i think he deadass thought it was safer in his hands than a KID who literally almost killed his friends a few hours earlier with it on accident so he’s not wrong. again. 
mysterio for how much of a feral, chaotic, terrifying, cunning, jerk that he was? he was the “hero” after all in the story. or at least the protagonist, kinda like infinity war thanos. he had a goal that would wake people up to the bullshit all around them and put power in the hands who made it possible in the first place. the people who know what they’re doing. 
would beck have been a villain after he won? world domination? i dont think so. i think he would havent been great with it, but i dont doubt he had decent intentions SOMEWHERE in his heart. 
but mainly revenge. let’s be honest. he was pissed af and rightly so.
ANYWAYS im rambling about a bubble head so.
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^^I can’t believe gyllenbeck literally has this energy after peter figures out he’s a faker. literally has this chaotic, feral energy. dead ass calls him gullible and hits him with a TRAIN. like fuck dude mad respecc for being just a guy and fuckin with a superhero so bad. really amazing portrayal of beck.
just. let beck be still alive. it would be a waste. he’s such a tricky person, it’s almost too easy for him to fake that shit. but maybe they really did kill him. hng. we’ll see in the next spiderman movie or another marvel film.
ALSO ALSO:
good au ending where tony lived and mysterio was never fired but legit became a hero bc he totally could have done so
he's got raw talent and cunning. i mean tony was just a guy with a brain too so yeah
good ending au.
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niennavalier · 5 years ago
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And now a bit of Endgame ranting cause I saw a post on it. And to just call bullshit on the time travel thing at the end.
Granted, just to clarify: I dont take that much issue Steve going back for Peggy, in terms of character and story. AKA: yes, I ship Stucky, but this post isnt about that relationship. Do I think it wouldve worked better to give Steve closure in terms of moving on and finding a new family? Yes. Do I think it wouldve been really nice to have Steve and Bucky and Sam and the Avengers being that family in the present? Kinda yeah. But did I kinda expect them to go this route anyway? Also yes, based on Steve's vision from AoU.
If they hadnt just had old Steve at the end cause that RUINS EVERYTHING.
IIRC this was later explained as being essentially a full, closed loop, where Steve always went back in time and lived with Peggy and was always Peggy's mysterious husband that the fandom has always wondered about. And that this works because an alternate timeline is only created when an Infinity Stone is moved through time, as explained by the Ancient One. (Which is already just so damn specific like why would you know this one thing?? But I guess there's magic so I cant argue there all that much)
But this still DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.
Just on the writing side, this really feels like a desperate attempt to cover a plot hole. Because the explanation is "oh, well it's a time loop because we never said it couldn't be a time loop". And while that's fine for fanfiction, fanfiction isnt a multi billion dollar grossing film. Like, yes that explanation isnt wrong, but it's so messy, because there was never any precedent set up for it to ever be a time loop. They did such a great job explaining how travelling back in time would cause timelines to diverge, that I, at least, understood that to be the type of time travel they were playing with. And it works! But the lack of explanation of time loops in the movie makes it hold up terribly if you're SOLELY watching the movie. I mean, you shouldn't need to watch interviews to understand the movie. Basically, its sloppy, so I reject the possibility.
Also, it just messes with canon? I doubt I need to explain the whole "Steve is too much of a dumb golden retriever to be able to live in the past and not change shit". At the very least, no doubt he'd save Bucky from Hydra. Nuff said.
But mostly, it messes with Peggy, especially with the Agent Carter show. For one, that scene at the end of season 1 which was written for her to let go of Steve and move on? That suddenly means nothing - the same problem as with Steve - except for some reason this pisses me off more? Like, how DARE you mess with Peggy Carter's character arc, you monster. Also, it makes the timeline strange? Because if this is supposed to be read as a full loop in which Steve was always her husband (which I assume they're justifying with the fact we never got confirmation as to who her husband was) then that means he didnt show up until after the events of the TV show. Season 1 starts in '46 and season 2 starts a year later. And if season 2 also spanned a year, he didnt show up until 1948, at least? Which just...why?? Steve has no reason to go back to a time 3 years after the end of the war. (Frankly, I'm of the opinion he wouldve gone back far enough to help in the war...and maybe taken Rhodeys advice and pretended he jumped out of the plane, idk. But still, gone back to the same year, at least, as when he was originally presumed dead.) But even if he was smart enough to wait until after 1945 so as to not mess with the timeline that much...why 1948? Why wait that long, or longer, when his entire reasoning was because he wanted to get that life with Peggy? Just...what??
Also! That line from the recording in Winter Soldier. The only reference we've ever had as to who Peggy's husband was. About Steve saving a battalion in 1945, and her husband being from that battalion. I personally remember this line being tossed around a lot because it was the reasoning that Daniel couldn't be her husband because he was discharged before then. But it should also mean Steve isnt her husband because then he saved...himself? Yeah, maybe time travel incident and he poofed himself into that battalion on accident so past him did actually save future him. But 1) that's fucking convoluted. And 2) again, why wouldn't he be in Agent Carter? Which means this is just apparently a complete lie, and the only evidence we thought we had is actually nothing at all. Or the logic behind that statement is like "Steve also saved himself by saving the battalion because they got through the Hydra blockade safely" but...I'm sorry, that's dumb, and I cant imagine Peggy talking around a point like that. (And no, she wouldnt be talking circles like that to conceal the fact Steve is her husband cause you know what would be easier? Not making that reference at all.)
Plus the fact this was clearly never their plan? Fairly certain the Agent Carter writers said at some point that the show would answer that particular mystery (all the more reason it should've gone longer) and I highly doubt this wouldve been said answer. Also just the existence of the Steve and Sharon ship in canon because uh, gross. (Although again, this wouldve been fine if they hadnt just put old Steve in at the end because then Steve wouldve gone back and made a divergent timeline. Meaning that Sharon in the original timeline wouldn't have...known Steve when she was a kid? So at least theres that?)
(Personal opinion is that the original plan was to have Steve die in Endgame because of that scene from AoU and the implication seeming to be that he gets back to Peggy somehow. Not necessarily dying instead of Tony or anything, but just that he wouldve died. Or at the very least, they weren't planning to have old Steve show up because of problems)
Rant over.
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startwithbrooklyn · 3 years ago
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 5, 2019 // return of josh
oooookay folks! that's a wrap! below are my comments about tonight's ep + additional expansions on previously stated opinions. i'm not combining s2 ep 1 with this bc s2 is dead to me! so is s3! i only did this to gather up all these loose thoughts i had when this show with its one lonely season became such a comfort to me that i developed a second consciousness about it. but with these posts i am done! the evil is defeated! i will carry on through the 3rd and hopefully final season of nancy drew with less emotion and better spirits. thank god.
-"talk to owen" nancy firstly thinks of talking to owen only to see what happens w the agleaca; saying goodbye comes as sorta an afterthought mirroring tiffany's possession of george. yet nancy was unable to say goodbe to owen just like w kate. knowing this reveal about kate, i wonder if this was foreshadowing that something big will be revealed about him later? unlikely but still
-nancy + the reality of broken things: 'totems' like broken sand glass sculpture (good place) to show you it's not a dream; "owen broke that" ghost trap to ground him to reality, like how she reached for her locket in the good place, lucy's charm, ace's bear ('totems' idea borrowed from inception)
-george has never been an affectionate person, even with other women- so why does pda with nick suddenly become so important?
-lots of comments about ryan + women but what about carson/kate and karen? again with the hypocritical (interestingly, there is an aspect of violence to women connected with ryan (even though that violence is not his fault); but its not like kate or karen fared well either)
-ryan feels useless- relationships with women as stated by nancy- he seeks to redeem himself by showing up where nancy goes to prove he is good to have around/necessary/needed - but now that he is attempting to act as a parent he has to break through nancy's defenses all over again- firstly she didnt really consider him any kind of threat bc he comes off as incompetent- ie bad business deals- i think i mentioned last ep, their hauntings equalize them as they both attempt to gain peace by searching for answers but now ryan has changed the terms of engagement so he's back to square one, with carson. (which is how we find them s2 cowering in ryans car stalking nancy together)
-ryan's relationship to nancy exposes an interesting layer here. so far she doesnt know about nick/george but they still hold the cards (ie george gets one over on nick's ex/"the new girl") with the revelation of ryan being nancys father, nancy gains an interesting trump card in navigating the social fallout of being nick's ex. like george would take the new spot but then nancy comes out with george's ex in a much higher category. this plays out later on in the ep when george confronts ryan. george wants to talk about "them" but ryan shows up completely focused on nancy, thus illustrating the trump
-"i thought it was whitney with another insipid question" to me this sounds like whitney took bess's advice earlier about "asking aunt diana what she wants" (only to learn it actually annoyed the hell out of diana lmaoo)
-"then you need to fight for it" this hearkens nancy earlier by asking "arent you in by virtue of dna?" the test was positive; she is a marvin just like nancy is a hudson. thats not a fact that they can change. however, diana really acts like it can be changed- and in s2 we see it does change. its interesting for bess to be told to fight to be in a family she's already in and also foiled by nancy trying to fight her way out of her own family. would like to see bess stand up to diana and say something. i mean, she exists. as much as she may want to erase bess from the family, diana cannot erase her existence
-hannah's rolled up sleeves 💙
-"previous keepers records" -from s2- were those not her parents??
-mistaken murderers- everyone incorrectly assumes lucy was murdered just as they assume the agleaca killed owen
-even if owen weren't the price, how can they pay the toll without one of the people who called? i mean if it was anything other than owen and he still died they still wouldve been fucked
-"you don't need to check, i'm not even driving!" okay and giving up the goss. cassidy is me. lmfaoooo
-wonder if this locked marvin industries box will ever come back
-UNPOPULAR OPINION: george's confrontation with ryan comes waytoo late to do anything. i think i brought this up in an earlier post. its literally just her screaming at him now. like he is clocked out moved on. you know a good time for this scene? in the claw when he comes by to "check on her". hes vulnerable, fresh from rehab. and she has a chit over him for punching bookcases/the fuckin country club deal. therewould have been a perfect time to confront ryan on what happened- "what you did to me" okay sis. you admitted ep 1 you werent in hs anymore. youre of age now. admit you fucked up. take the L to force him to swallow the bigger L. and imagine how much more powerful the scene would have been- in george's domain, literally her own office, something ryan doesnt even have because HE DOESNT DO SHIT. ryan is SO EASY to trap but nobody notices. instead they have george try to get some kind of apology out of him when hes already done with that, and only for the sake of her establishing a new relaionship to boot. imagine how much more empowered she would feel if she just got that closure for herself- because she needed it, not so she could trot straight back to nick being all proud of calling a grown man to some random estate only to scream at him in a parking lot and have accomplished nothing. 🤦🏼‍♀️
-i get patrice thinking nancy is lucy but yeahhhhh this isnt how dementia works 😬
-i almost cant with nance and josh. how do you save your would-be murderer? (+ lucy's best friend and brother are in jail, her mom is lost to her mentally; all she has left is nancy and ryan)
-tbh i had no idea how to spell agleaca until bess said "theres no i in agleaca!" i thought it was igleaka like 😂
-damn how george just stares at nicks hand and then gets out herself is just so sad (like she immediately rectifies it but still...)
-"curiosity" part II; nancy who comes back to the sea after her mother died in it- agleaca drawn to lucy's trauma/to agleaca, lucy died fir "love"- would nancy be willing to risk the same? // this is also one of nancy's "mirroring mom" moments: winning sea queen, going to the velvet masque, getting caught by celia, having a "chat" with everett, and "falling" off the bluffs
-the collector 🎵👌🏻
-i wonder if there's any significance to the locations/means of their deaths; nancy's is pretty straight forward in terms of where and how, but why george and nick drowning, in the truck specifically? drowning in love? idk. ace's at the claw i get, but he gets himself caught? in what precisely? what does the fish hook mean? and bess's makes the least sense- burning alive? in the marvin estate? maybe the agleaca picked the most painful death for the marvin blood relation? idk. up for debate lmk ya thoughts
and lastly:
-i remember seeing this ending for the first time and i had just been traumatized by avengers endgame and since black widow is also a redhead seeing that shit at the bottom of the cliff it was like 😰😰😰 TOO SOON
-random thoughts-
these are just things i noticed, feel free to grapple with them or take note of them for extrapolation in s3 (lord knows i wont be) they probably belonged in recaps for previous eps but i either didnt find them in my notebook or couldnt fit them in
•nancy and truth/the perception of truth: using facts to suit theories instead of creating theories to suit facts- nancy often plays with the perception of truth and the details that fall between the steps; but she is also a victim to them by people who also know how to play the game (ie Carson) ex lying about the dress (tea cups and knives, trash got picked up, bail paid 1 hr ago) her inferences can be off from what others tell her ("people always lie") but she can also come to the wrong conclusions organically (carsons trial) more willing to believe the best in others/wanting them to be innocent (think nick ep 1) but later finding out the truths hurts more so she chooses to isolate herself and avoid involving others to be spared pain
•maybe i'm dumb, but who is "mr marvin" exactly? owen? the bald guy from the funeral? this comes from the guy who takes sailboats out like ep 4ish and says "ive worked for the marvins 20 years" she compliments the ship, he says "mr marvin and i just took her out this morning" so?? who is that? plus last ep just saying cassidy and isaac are her "late husbands children" dows thet mean sebastian? like did diana marry in? i feel like it would be odd for her to so embrace the "marvin way" if she wasnt a true born marvin
•ik college becomes a more s2 topic but none of the crew have ever been to college 🤔
•nick + the relationships with people whose reputations are tarnished: tiffany with investigating the hudsons/marvins, josh with murder/attempted murder, kate and 'stealing'/lying about nancy (esp compared to her almost preternatural kindness i mentioned before), george and her mom/family's reputations --> this kind of segues into nick + the concept of believing people you love could be capable of horrific things- accidental or on purpose (see- having to tell his family what happened)
•at the beginning, nancy kind of seems to be the "i'm sorry you're upset" kind of apologist and knows it. she also doesnt usually apologize earnestly bc shes never really sorry (she always has to get what she needs first ie coins mess) and she doesnt want to lie; to me it seems she doesnt like to bother with other people bc they require certain cues/niceties that are often lies- they ask "how are you" without meaning it, they dont really want an honest response except "fine", they dont like it when you call them out on fakeness, etc/ they require apologies for their bruised feelings even if youre right (and nancy can be pretty rude/nasty if provoked- a harshness unsoftened by sympathy)
•cont'd from the good place ep- since kate apparently means nothing to nancy anymore according to last ep ("stop calling her my mother") is her policy of "always seek the truth" now null and void? this mantra is now tainted bc the person who gave it to her broke it so much. can nancy disengage w it now? does she fall from grace to be complicit in "mysteries" of her own like everyone else? does she lose some of her "god-like" holier than thou act bc she is now literally born and raised in the "darkness" of sins/ugly truths like everyone else's? (ie truth is ugly but not to nancy, until now)
•did lucy disappear because her "murder" was finally solved? or simply because her trauma was addressed- she never meant to tell anyone about her suicide plans, the twisted trauma of which was too great to contain/unable to move on due to "sin" - or unable to move on because secret of nancy's parentage still remained? "lucy never wanted me to figure out how she died" she only wanted nancy to figure out her parentage without solving the mystery, yet did lucy see/witness nancy's revelation at the claw, or with carson, or even ryan? waiting for karen/josh to know? or just vanished?
•concept of imperfect mom figures- lucy, kate, celia, victoria, even karen- who all struggle with failings
•since karen dispelled one of lucy's attempts at nancy's haunting at the garden party, is that proof she isn't haunting karen?
•the crew + needing adult help: george's possession and victoria, club busted and owen, car accident and mcginnis, thom and cipher, larkspur lane and sal, bones and john, agleaca and hannah
•everett is always sitting- at his home office, at dinner, at yacht club (wonder if that was his actor + had to do with his recasting?)
-dad talk-
•both her dads think negatively on her "girl detective" thing but ryan sees use in it as a means to get answers, carson would never 'use' her in that way
•nancy + carson : suffering
"what about what i wanted?" + carson being imprisoned for weeks but she immediately rejects him (the DAY he gets his freedom no less) with no regard to his suffering (caused by herdiary!!) in regards to her own from this new knowledge (she does suffer a lot- "almost dying is my new normal" but still)/ the "thankless job" of parenting
•nancy + adults - connected to cop thing a few posts earlier : nancy is v precocious and smart for her age- she is "old enough" but also has trouble with the "adults" in her life- fathers, moms, karen, and cops letting her down but depends heavily on "adults" she cantrust- hannah gruen, john sander, lisbeth- highlighting her youth and occasional naiveté; nancy is unafraid to hold adults accountable for their actions (ie karen) but also loses them as allies along the way. both hannah and john are very nonthreatening and also experts in their fields, while her fathers and karen are revealed to be "just another brick in the wall" average, capable of mistakes, and not the people she expects them to be, while characters like john and hannah can only benefit nancy because either they do not mean as much to her or have no reason/nothing to gain by lying; they are purposefully shown to be small, demure, gentle, and nonthreatening as foils/opposed to karen, ryan, and josh whom she previously trusted; carson (+kate) is nonviolent as well but has the biggest betrayal which is perceived as an act of violence to her very personhood/shattering who she thought she was so she cannot be that anymore (admits truths to john "everytime i dig i hurt everyone" and hannah-agleaca) : unclear if redemption is possible for anyone :
•nancy bonds with carson over loss and then ryan over haunting. but actually, nancy rejects carson over loss bc she wanted to say goodbye and wasnt allowed to- so carson was with kate but nancy was not. nancy and ryan are more equals about haunting bc they both start around the same time and conclude together as well [nancy and ryan bond over thinking their parents conspired to kill lucy- think sitting on the floor at velvet masque] nancy is appreciated by ryan for her ability to get answers- he has no qualms about going through her/outside of police bc he wants results/instant gratification and thinks nancy is more so the expert in her field/respects her even through her age- once again acknowledging she is braver than he is (think lucy + claw parking lot) and her portent in the car freaks him out bc shes usually always in control, esp with him
•bc nancy was told "you can't be afraid of the truth" until she was / ironic bc shes braver than him except when the truth is they are related then she's scared to tell him while he actually starts to take some initiative
•nancy picked "the wrong person" to help her through her grief in her dad's eyes like her mom's best friend was somehow a better choice? carson truly "parents" nancy even during grief and haunting (which she rejects) whereas nancy and ryan are really equals in all their situations which is actually better for her and easier for her to maintain- nancy's expectations are low so anything that ryan gives is a bonus. nancy's expectations of carson were shattered by his lies so now she has nothing to connect with him about- they could barely even connect when sharing the same grief- carson actually very hypocritical hence nancy's upset at karen revelation yet carson doesn't agree bc hes the "adult" and shes the "child" not realizing she hadnt been one for a long time (hidden staircase perhaps?) whereas ryan better treats her with lack of controlling parental nature bc he is impressed with her competence before he receives that knowledge; "lucy was smarter than me too" acknowledging her intellect negates his ability to "parent" ie control her to leave him solely with caring about her wellbeing in her situations + aftermath - i honestly dont think carson would ever admit that shes smarter than him* bc he thinks shes not "all grown up" yet ("youve kept me on the bench for years"); ryan is more willing to meet her where she's at which is so important for all her good relationships - ace, owen, etc
*carson asks for nancy to figure out "who to trust" in ep 12, finally admitting that she is useful/ie acknowledging that her skills/abilities do help, are necessary, and can in fact save lives --> this is then s2 follow up by working for him (but it takes him that long)
•ryan/nancy/carson venn diagram - using sex to escape trauma
•if not carson vs ryan then what about celia and everett vs patrice (and josh)? at this point in the narrative, do you think ryan's parents would take his side should the knowledge become public (without their involvement), or deny nancy?
•"we were a family" + the disruption of family dinner- kate was really the one holding that family together and her death makes it unsustainable
okay!! that's all folks! i have exhausted my plethora of nancy drew thoughts + knowledge. you will never have to hear from me again!! TYSSM 😘
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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 years ago
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its just wild idk how to say the experience of just like...it being a wholeass fixture in your life that you’re gonna off urself...i guess in earlier times (almost been aware of being suicidal for a whole decade babes) it was also that i just...like assumed that my future was gonna involve some whole disaster that was going to wreck the whole damn thing idk. like i always knew i didnt have the kinda situation where i had somebody to fall back on no matter what & i did very much know that i had the kinda situation where if it looked like the identity ppl thought i had fell through and it turned out i wasnt thriving in all of this and actually just kinda miserable and on my own, instead of having ppl who would be There For Me No Matter What i had the ppl who would want nothing to do w me except for further beat me down..........so yeah i guess ive been feeling like my future was only Doom since like 12 def...maybe earlier if you look at it idk its like wondering when i was starting being depressed fulltime. probs like age 3 idk
anyhow the point is....hard to explain what its like having the constant sense that you don’t have a future thats good & in your control & something you want, or that even exists right. like sometimes i imagine thinking abt the future in the ways that other ppl might, in the way that you assume you’ve got a good while and that there’s things you’ll get to do that you like or you’ll pursue your ambitions or whatever and its weird i think about it for like 3.3 sec and its like tf.........its like when you get some kinda Aroma Memory where your brain remembers that smell from 18.6 yrs ago & you have a 0.62second window to try to think of where its from while you have some fleeting visual/emotive memory.......sometimes i’ll just have some kinda emotional echo from a less depressed life and its like ?????? havent had this feeling in this exact way for a minute. its weird its like lol this doesnt belong to me anymore..
anyways for another solid like.....6-7 yrs its been kind of “i’ll be surprised if i make it another yr alive” with various ups & downs in that level of surprise along the way.....more like a Down lately lmao its wild how impossible it seems to make it a few more days or weeks when youre having a worse day than usual, having an on avg Worse period that lasts for months & months and etc is just....wild baby. if you havent felt it for even a day its not something you can really imagine. if u know what its like to feel like ur gonna die for a longterm period then you know what it is..
like always, maybe this is my year baby!!! in terms of death. if im thinking abt maybe this is the year i suddenly Succeed on all fronts and i never again have to think about kms, then that’ll be a struck-by-lighting, same-shuffled-card-deck-order twice in a row, sheer chance out of nowhere. your life isnt steered towards goodness because you’re good enough or Only As Much As You Can Handle or anything and ive been too deep in it this whole time to have ever been set up to not get the rug pulled out from under me several times over and yknow once you fall down even once, unless you’re really solidly backed up, the odds arent in your favor about not getting continuously run over the rest of the time. wind isn’t really at ur back there.
like im so glad abt every person ive run into who ive had in my life for more than like 5 hrs and im lucky that i was at least born recently enough to have had the internet/texting mostly regularly from 14 y.o. onward.....if i didnt im sure i wouldve been......even so much more isolated than i was. l o l . . . . ive got to feel like some ppl care abt me which is nice and didnt happen too much before then. its also good i draw lmao coz besides for the most part thats how i talk the best & how i get in touch w most of the ppl who end up sticking around enough i talk to more than like a couple of times.....but tho of course ive never like, found arbitrary success in terms of either my own solo financial boon to transcend any and all problems or ever just like bonding w a bunch of ppl like ride or die for life baby. coz like.....why would i do either. if you werent born into financial stability, let alone wealth, and if you didnt just happen to pick up these deep unshakeable relationships along the way at times when it didnt really matter.....good luck picking those things up further along the way when stuffs even shittier. i may’ve been lucky w the internet/texting timing but i wasnt lucky w the financial crisis hit or really just being born after the 80s, economy wise......or lucky w being isolated socially since age 4 and always having to feel distanced from ppl coz i could sense the difference & stigma of being someone abused & miserable before i was even really that self aware of the extent of those things about me.........oh well. coz again w the internet and me happening to draw enough prior to age 14 that i was always considered “good” at it, and then finding that i like to draw fanart for myself lol....so i could at least connect w ppl some ways right. or via text posts sometimes lmao....and im lucky that the ‘net / having a phone gave me a medium for those things & being connected to some ppl. and im lucky im gay & not cis & got to figure that out & enjoy it coz thats the best thing abt me.......
anyways even if say life was perfect for me magically i still wouldnt be able to relate to seeing yourself pursue your ambitions coz like i always say...ive never really had those lmao. wasnt able to baby.....its like there’s always that idea that ppl whose life is defined by Survival, who’ve been exposed to trauma &/or abused, that if you drop them into a safe stable situation w/friends and all and whatever then suddenly they’ll be a “regular” person, like there’s some inherent core of everyone where they Know what its like to get to live in a healthy environment w a certain perspective on other ppl & how they’ll treat you, and if you just remove someone from bs they’ll just shift over to that Default that is like oh lol yeah im like everybody else. like nah its a whole different kind of world / life you’ve not even necessarily adapted to, maybe its what you grew in. and you can adapt to a better life & grow further in that but its not a matter of like “washing away” what came before....it can be an entirely separate thing. like if you haven’t experienced it you cant imagine it. i cant give someone a real sense of what its like to grow up within & live in an abusive place for decades. and i can’t guess who i would be if i’d grown up / lived in a completely different, better situation. coz thats a whole fundamental change from the start. it’d be such a different person that it wouldn’t even make sense to call it an alternate version of “me.”
well anyways i always feel like i’m bound to kms & that bad things are impending sooner than later & when they happen i’ll get a new set of incoming bad shit to feel bearing down & etc & i dont have things i want except a cessation of living under dread & feeling like my existence is in the way & theres ppl around i gotta be on my guard for & i’m only gonna kms eventually here, theres a long lifespan & for being to off yourself at any given time, also im jealous of ppl who’ve had a nicely sized friend group where they’ve always been able to hang out w one person at least whenever they wanted to / needed to. at least i’m gay, baby. i honestly do feel like that tweet where its like i cant kill myself b/c what if im a straight guy in my next life? @ god i cant do it. like lmao for real though......in my past life maybe i was an 80s gay. syke if i have a past life it was probably a cat. maybe a cat of an 80s gay. i can only hope
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