#damn it's almost 1 am
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Audrey; Queen of Mean-2024 redesign
@c-rose2081
#my prowess only grows as the years go by#damn its already been two years since i started designing my d3 rewrite designs#wow#disney descendants#art#my art#rewrite#audrey descendants#d3 redesign#im really happy with this :D#okay bed time its almost 1 am and my eyes and head hurt T_T
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WE'RE GETTING EVICTED FROM OUR APARTMENT.
#ok yeah not the best news to suddenly reappear on after almost a month of radio silence#but a shit ton has been happening lately its fucking wild#i had to call the ambulance for my mom :[ DW she's ok !!! just some stomach problems#i went to the club the like last last week ish ?? it was.. okay i wish my friends werent super self concious#abt dancing bc damn it was kinda boring.... almost just stood there for 5 ish hours#got plastered the other day at a friends house too#and we stayed up and watched the whole entire cars franchise and this is probably my biggest hear me out yet...#lightning mcqueen.#LIKE NOT THE FUCKING CAR OK LIKE IF HE WERE A REAL GUY HE WOULD B HOT#......yes its owen wilsons voice yeah ok i get it yeah. shut. shut it. SHUT UP.#anyway cars 1 is a classic a masterpiece muah muah cars 2 is abysmal and cars 3 is pretty good#ALSO I MISSED LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK I AM DEVASTATED WHAT DO I DO I FAILED YOU LESBIANS IM SO SORRY........#the karmic debt from me missing it will curse me somehow..........#anyway yeah we r getting evicted i think idk so were apartment hunting and its so difficult everything is so expensive :']]]]#landlords r actually the spawn of satan#thats it for the update ill doodle smthn maybe i dunno zzzz#frambling...?
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GRAHHHHH I LOVE LYRA SMM. BABY. š„¹š„¹
I decided to give her heterochromia because its BEAUUTIFUL and shes related to Kris in my headcanon book (its a very big book) (its not for sale)
Bonus doodles (marill is colored weirdly bcs i wasnt using reference lmao, also i have a new phone so my artstyle is funky)
#JOHTO HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD PLEASE HELP#i just. love these damn kids sm. theyre so sillies and scrunkles š„ŗ#still trying to figure them out tho. im getting there#its fucking 12 am and its almost 1 im going tl SLEEP.#pokemon#pkmn#pokemon hgss#trainer lyra#trainer kris#pokemon lyra#pokemon kris#celebi#marill#should i even tag gengar?? you know what fuck it#gengar#pokemon gsc#the core art tag
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reblogging yuri manga with #I LOVE ADULTERY, just in case any mangadex commenters have entered my blog like little houseflies
#yuri manga#yuri#toxic yuri#don't look at mangadex comments for toxic yuri ever#OR any yuri for that matter#really just don't look at mangadex comments#they're almost always#1) deeply uninsightful#2) riddled with biases and misinterpretation based on other manga that the manga being commented on vaguely resembles#3) (in the case of yuri comments specifically) made by non-queer male yuri fans#and like genuinely you're free to like whatever but if you have no relation to the community you should always hesitate to post your takes#I have seen so many comments literally calling nuanced lesbian manga āimpureā and claiming that yuri is supposed to be ācleanā#as if that is not the most nonsensical misogynistic lesbophobic BS#like damn people just say things huh#I am constantly surprised by people's ability to construct full comments without thinking#anyway#that should explain why I say that#I LOVE ADULTERY
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Me when I take measures to streamline the making of my pages and it actually streamlines the making of my pages: !!!!!!
Anyways, I hope yall like blood :)
#I was like damn how am I already almost finished with moon 18 pt 1...#oh that's right it's the design changes and reused backgrounds!!#psst btw seeing notes on my posts fuel me#so the more yall interact the more motivated I feel to get these done!!#I am NOT currently on a regular posting schedule. but the more I'm in the mood the more pages yall will get!!
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I got a new sketchbook since I filled one recently :3c. Shout out to suddenly getting a ton of energy and drawing bizarre fanart at 1 am ššš.
Iām putting the more violent ones under a cut even if the post is already tw tagged because of the subject matter being a bit dark d(^^ ).
Along with explanations for all of them of course!
ā ļøtw for self harm and burning past this pointā ļø
First one (before the cut) is just some pose practice. Simonās just sitting, all sad and mopey. Thereās also a little chibi doodle of him in the bottom corner and a little pose armature in the top corner for a pose I didnāt even end up drawing whoops lol. I feel like I drew his face a little differently than I usually do in this one :O. Idk how that happened lol.
This one is to show the differences in anatomy between each game! The curse takes a lot out of him, poor guy, so heās a bit less jacked than usual š. Well, more specifically he doesnāt have as much of a layer of protective fat anymore. And heās also very tired :(. But yeah, this is just a reference Iāll look back at to keep this detail consistent! I was going to put scar reference on it too, but I completely forgot and eh it mighta made it kinda hard to make out anyway d(- - ).
I drew this side profile of Simon while watching a video talking about lost media stuff. I think the image I based it on was something Saki Sanobashi related, idk I just liked the vibes of the hair being blown back by wind and got inspired :). And yes I know that Saki is probably a hoax ššššš, I didnāt have much interest in it tho tbh, besides just hoping something lost gets found in general. Lost media videos are honestly great for putting on as background noise when drawing :)
Simon is totally me when I have a crisis and cover my face with my hands, but make sure one eye is visible and miraculously out of shadow for dramatic effect!!!
Ok spookier stuff time, first of the below the cut drawings. This one is based on how sometimes vampires are depicted as being able to drain someone from long distances or beyond the grave. Dracula is mean, and Simon is suffering from the curse, the usual. Augh I actually need to do things cause I keep thinking of a cool scene of Simon having a weird Dracula nightmare and then waking up to see it wasnāt a dream, and thatās tropey as hell, but itās spooky!!! Do you see my vision?
This is a depiction of like what happens with a game over or something :O. Like an absolute worst possible outcome: Simon dies and Dracula is unsealed and fully regenerated. I basically just took is Simonās Quest design and then rehydrated it and tada, Dracula is no longer a skeletonā He ends up looking way more like Vlad the Impaler in this outfit hmmm. Also, unrelated, but a friend of mine mistook Dracula for Jesus in this drawing ššš.
Oh boy, edgy depictions of uh a lot of not being very kind to yourself themes. Idk how else to describe this one other than ya know when you get really mad at your past self for making a mistake or the wrong decision that you couldāve only known about in hindsight? Also in part the fear of actually becoming a vampire at the end of all of this? And I guess a bit of feeling like itās your own fault, youāre the one that keeps shooting yourself in the foot, but I feel like heād also attribute getting hit by Dracula in the first place as his fault tooā¦ hmm just a lot of very sad things going on, this one was definitely a later 1 am time drawing, maybe 1:40 or something. I think what I draw at night is further proof to not trust you when youāre tired; I get weirdly existential at night and then itās totally fine in the morning. Simon! Just sleep! Stop overthinking!!! Youāll be ok!!!
This one I debated putting up at all cause itās graphic and not finished (TwT ;). But it was a rare drawing of Simon smiling that didnāt look uncanny, which is kinda ironic because Simon this is not the time to be smilingā! That is also wayyy too far for just the Dracula ritual, you really only need a tiny amount to open the seal, but Iāll cut him some slack cause he is a bit at wits end by this point. Iād say maybe heās smiling because he thinks he finally won, but tbh I thought of it more like when things are just so bad you start laughing. Like Dracula just rose from the altar and the morbid irony of it all is just so absurd, the irony that you did everything right and fought tooth and nail (Draculaās to be exact lol) to stop it and here it is happening anyway. I wanna give this guy a weighted blanket and a bowl of warm soupā
These last two are based on what couldāve happened to him. The Grey ending is pretty much usually considered the āworstā, but theyāre all nearly interchangeable, especially in the Japanese version. For example: the western release really makes the Blue ending seem like he died and didnāt kill Dracula, but itās a lot more that he just died doing it in the original, which is to say that itās kinda like the Grey ending just with a different eulogyā Anyway, the Grey ending is the only one that doesnāt show Simon at Draculaās grave, so Iāve always taken it as he didnāt make it out of the castle basement. And well, setting Dracula on fire is a pretty common way to kill him so uh um, R.I.P. Iāve got a couple ideas for alternate comic endings to say the least. I might honestly just depict all of them and leave it entirely up to the reader which one happened because it doesnāt change muchā Though this also has me thinking of how him surviving would work now. The curse would definitely have left some lasting effects, you donāt just magically stop having been rotted, sleep deprived, and whatever else it did. Idk I picture him being like Renfield levels of lost it afterwards if that makes senseā¦ that could also be a pretty solid explanation for why his story isnāt told correctly and the cycle repeats with Maxim later; itād be a pretty traumatic thing to talk about tbh. Ok but yappersvile over, next doodle ššššššš
Aside from the burnt doodle thatās uh same explanation as the above (R.I.P.), the other two are just a little head angle and expression practice and one tiny one towards the top thatās Dracula being all spooky ghost vampire, but I didnāt like how it was looking and gave up on it ššš. Itās very hard to draw a vampire attacking someone and not have it look kinda awkward or unreadable. Tbh I struggle putting two characters in one image anyway because I have to draw the anatomy lines for both of them and they end up getting really hard to tell apart when one is behind another, one character suddenly isnāt proportional compared to the other, or you find out one of them isnāt tall enough for the pose you had in mind (>~< ). So anyway Dracula was accidentally way too short all of a sudden and I couldnāt figure out how to draw his torso without making a completely incomprehensible blob behind Simon oof.
Okie, itās lunch time, bye :3!
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#castlevania ii: simon's quest#castlevania simonās quest#simonās quest#simon belmont#art post#my art#professional yapper in here damn#it makes sense to have drawn some more horror focused things lately#itās the spooky season!#I almost totally forgot ššššš#Iāve missed pretty much most of Vaniatober so uhhhhhhhh yeah :3#take these Simons as a consolation :3#okie I should go eat and then uh try to work on making a game#tw gore#tw death#tw self harm#tw blood#tw burning#cw self harm#cw gore#cw blood#cw death#cw burning#ok I think that covers everything#idk does this count as like a vent??? 1 am existential crisis that went away????????#eh whatever happy spooky month I will hopefully be able to work on making armor for it this year :3
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Wrote tha note to put on their door in the morning.
Do u think my sleep deprived frustration is evident lol
#speculation nation#bc guess who is still awake. thafs right. this poor sod#im so exhausted and yet the thump thump thumping continues#it makes me want to bang on the ceiling but i know that wont help#i dont even know what the noise is now. rapid fire thumping in a way that sounds like#more frequent than would naturally be audible from just normal thumping.#it's definitely not a sex thing. it almost sounds like the dull popping of fireworks#thouhh i know it's not that either.#my best guess is that it's the keyboard i started hearing last friday#but i havent heard them practicing nearly as much as ive heard this damned thumping#im#actually tempted to just go up there and knock on their door#it's 1 am and the thump thump thumping is continuing.#i just want to fucking sleep
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im the front desk lead so i get to boss front desk people around (i hate it im so bad at being authoritative) but it also means i have to make slightly passive aggressive messages in the work chat like once a month about things ive already asked them multiple times to stay on top of but its so annoying the more i tell them and the more they just Dont do it SKJSLKAD im trying so hard to make this message look like im not mad and that im not trying to be the bitchy manager type and i dont want it to sound like im talking down to them but also like its part of ur job i shouldnt be one of the only ones doing this PLUS I SHOULDNT HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING U TO DO THIS DFJLKSLDKS
#n i still do everything i preach btw im not one of those bossy shift leads that make everyone work while i just sit on my ass the whole time#(i mean i dont think itd get done if i didnt do it anyway but thats not the point HAHAHA)#i think like one other person actually listens to me JKDJSLAS i love her tho shes great#on 1 hand i dont want them to be annoyed at me (for asking them to do their job) but on the other hand IM annoyed that i have to even askš#because believe it or not almost everyone here gets mad when a team lead asks them to do smth instead of letting them sit on their phone lo#walking into my opening shift seeing everything look hella messy STRESSES ME OUTTTT like damn bitch u live like this HAHA#like i'll come back after 3 days of not working and its just a mess JDJFLS other ppl are like omg kat it was a disaster everythings so bad#like ?? am i like the only person actually doing shit here????? am i the glue holding this position together JSJDLSAJDSL bROOOO#ik this sounds so much like the closing shift vs opening shift 'a single dust spec? erm who closed last nightš¤Øāļø' tiktokts but alsooooo#as someone who closes AND opens i'm allowed to say what i want HAHAA ive been on both arguments here LMFAO#like closing is supposed to make it look nice for when we open becauseeeee opening shifts START like 15-30min before we open doors#its not like opening shift can get that all done in time on top of actually getting things read to open...#whatever i'll be gone for 2 weeks lets see if it all goes up in flames HAHAHA#trials and tribulations of kats work life
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My Breath of the Wild Slow Livin' challenge is in its third iteration and let me tell you it is the only way to play this game
#I stopped fast travelling two playthroughs ago (rule 1)#at the same time as i added the ā2) if Pancake (my horse) can physically come with me then he has to come with me wherever I goā rule#for this new playthrough i've added "3) you have to settle down for the evening at a reasonable time#preferably at a stable or otherwise suitable location and then feed Pancake before hunching down in front of a fire#and stare into the flames until morning#ALSO rule 4 the horse cant gallop for longer than a real horse can (ie short bursts)#all other horse travel (ie almost all travel in the game (see rule 2)) has to happen at a trot at MOST#but very recently ive reached Tarrey Town and boy lemme tell you#I already knew id be trotting across the damn continent like five times to get everyone together#but now ive added a new thing where i roleplay escorting each of them back to Tarrey Town AT THE PACE THEY WOULD NATURALLY GO#i.e. walking#I am WALKING my horse back from death mountain and gerudo and everyone else#it's actually so great to roleplay...#Pelison saw a horse for the first time and was in awe#and Grayson had to comfort him when a lightning storm broke out as we were crossing the Akkala span#obviously the Sokkala route would be more direct but Grayson and I decided the northern route was better#since we could spend the night at the stable#Kass was there and he sang for us#Now Ive just made it to Gerudo (it took five in game days)#and I am settling down in Kara Kara for the night to talk to Rhondson about my friend Hudson#The voe with the most beautiful dream in all of hyrule#and if she agrees to come with me we have a LONG walk ahead of us in the morning#this is my favourite playthough ive ever done#breath of the wild#tarrey town#legend of zelda
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of all things in my au im putting mrs gleeful in a prominent role? so thats how my life is going
#my post#gravity falls#im working on my reverse relativity falls au rn#and i have NEVER liked 1:1 swap aus so im not making the handyman soos' grandma nor am i making the cashier manly dan#im also just not interested in writing about those characters ajfhshd sorry#fiddleford is the handyman in mine and. mrs gleeful is the cashier#ive just always found her interesting actually !!! we almost never see her and we dont even know her first name#but shes clearly been through so damn much ??? i know you could say all of the characters probably have but#idk she just stuck out to me#i was going over the list of gf characters to fill that role and i was like. fuck it. mrs gleeful#BUT she is not a romantic interest to either of the stan twins ok. i never liked that storyline even in the og show#but they all do still become friends of course#i think im gonna name her babs (short for barbara). why? because i couldnt think of anything better-#than naming her something ever so vaguely similar to buds name#but hes not really a factor in this story concept (yet?) so shrug#anyway yeah#mrs gleeful
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this sounds extremely fatalistic and especially insane to say during BHM from yours truly, but I'm spiraling and looking at data and the state of the world (& my country specifically) and the stories I want to tell and the people who stories are centered and...
I don't think I ever want to charge money for my games. ever. they'll be free for the unforeseen future because I'm not tanking my health further by stressing out over what hateful, racist, insane players think. I'm already catching strays from trying to have f!MC protagonists??? can you unpack why that makes you wanna lash out and be nasty?? but preferably with someone else that's not me.
people talk such a big game about diversity and being inclusive and listening to Black voices and then turn around do the exact opposite. every single time.
ugh, I have a queued post going up...tomorrow?? that's a reblog from last year, but a warning: I was a very different person with a very different well of energy when I wrote it and when I scheduled that reblog.
#gamedev rambles#I...just wanna tell stories#and experience others' stories#but putting a price tag on me#even when I'm putting in work??#it's so clear what players want (and don't want)#and Crushed did pretty well with a majority Black cast#but it's a BL so I wonder if that cushioned it's fall??#HSD:JY has more scrapes and bruises from the general public (and I try to focus on the positive feedback but like. damn)#and so with The Knight Dance I'm actually scared#because it's an all black cast AND it's sapphic and those are 2 things I discovered a while ago that don't hold ppl's attention#or it does hold attention but the wrong kind#lol does any of this make any sense??#I'm not going to stop making games or being a part of this community#but I am going to shuffle my feet more lol#LOL ramblings brought to you by 1) discord and 2) realizing I effing hate programming and need to find a way to pay someone to#do it moving forward. so. almost zero correlation
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regretevator speedrun lesbians%
#floor five is Crazy to get them both#though to be fair im playing alone so split was significantly easier#i got the hard variant though so i did have to lock the fuck in#i got bive floor one hehe#i woke up at 4 am and hopped on regretevator and bive slapped my damn skull#though i almost left because for some reason very Simple āāāāscaryāāāā floors become so tweak inducing when playing solo#really unfortunate too i usually play in a group of 2-3 so i was just celebrating alone#splitsville Was floor five btw#really sad cuz bive left on floor 14 backrooms#and i also left . cuz again . playing alone makes me tweak on those levels for no reason#Girl can i be mad though#clover legitimately spawn camped me brother#bive left so i was sad and not paying attention and clover was Right There just Outside the elevator#deeply unnecessary#Yeah and then i left cuz 1 scareds 2 whats the point#regretevator#regretevator bive#regretevator split
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ohhhhhhhhhh my goddddddddd and now the fucking t*ble t*nnis guy is passive aggressively up my ass : \
#work stuff#silver jelly#'i've noticed editing has slowed down...' first of all ;;; i was editing the 3.5k words of incomprehensible nonsense because you all#won't hire real writers for almost TWO HOURS on friday. i skipped Yesterday. you sent that message at 10 AM when i HAD one of those#fucking awful awful articles on my roster for today. so that's what;;;; 1 work day unaccounted for? fuck off#secondly; you assholes REFUSE to tell me how much you're expecting from me; you just fucking yell at us when we're not going#'fast enough' when you WON'T EVEN TELL ME WHAT THAT MEANS#this is an internal fucking site and we have REAL clients with REAL ACTUAL deadlines ;;; this is not !!!!!!!!!!!!!! a priority to me!!!!!!!#thirdly; ;;;; i took this project AS A FAVOR to someone who's on maternity leave. i did not even want it. she fucking told me 'ohhh you're#the only one i trust' when there's ... literally ;;; another editor on this who is her best friend from childhood or whatever .#like manipulating me; basically; into taking this project (and she didn't even need to; i wanted the hours anyway)#STILL; ;;; it's not something i picked; it's not something i even particularly wanted to do !!!!!#and it's endless shit;; every god damn week it's some version of 'is everything okay? you're slowing down?' like yeah bro i got other work!#jesus fucking CHRIST i just cannot !!!!!#i sent a message in the chat i straight up said 'i try to do one of these a day but i don't feel like it's enough so please tell me what#your expectations are' and if he dodges i'm saying 'an approximate number would be really helpful' like fuck dude i don't CARE if#you tell me you need 10 of these by the end of the week -- i can maybe even make that happen but this isn't fucking working !!!!#@god please get me out of here holy shit .
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me every time i kind of forget and leave something to the last minute: what if i gave up. what then.
#frankie yells#like. i don't forget but i don't idk internalize? that the deadline is fast approaching?#im just like yeah i've got time i'll get around to it! and then i start 1 day before the deadline#and i don't have energy to finish it in one sitting and i don't have the focus to finish it in one day#so then i have this harried rush to finish it the day of. like.#damn bitch you live like this???#like oh wow your time management is terrible actually?? and that makes you feel bad about yourself???#it almost like??? you have untreated diagnosed adhd????#crazyyyy who would have thought it would negatively impact you in like all aspects of your life#not your mother obviously hahahahahaha#idk it's just like i can't not leave things until the last minute and i am fucking myself over constantly and chronically behind on work#what if i gave up??? š¤Øš§#what then?????#like dawg idk if i have another 2 weeks of school in me :(( and club obligations on top of that...#i just want to party w/ my friends before i move away for a year and figure out wtf im doing š i don't wanna have stuff to doooo ughhhh
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fucked up when adhd gets out of control and starts to ruin my life. like this shouldnt be allowed!!!! im suffering due to my inability to do work thats boring or overwhelming!!!! dont wanna have to take thoughts in my head and turn them into college level writing!!!
#its almost the end of the semester and the realization of the sheer amount of work i need to do has me Screaming mentally#like what do u mean i have 3 papers. 1 group project. multiple exams. and 4 discussion boards!!!!!!! this is my own fault#AND a professor is currently probably pissed w me bc im so behind and have no excuse other than 'adhd made thoughts difficult'#need to email her and be like 'hi! i am so sorry i promise i respect and value this class. i am just bad at finishing assignments.#am i still able to hand in these assignments late? totally understandable if no' and hope i dont fail this course#also my group project is on the connection between adhd and addiction and Damn it feels rough reading through these academic studies#p
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ummmmmmm
#rare moment of positivity i love my life so much iām so so happy i could burst with it#i love my boyfriend so much i feel stupid and sick with it (pos)#work is going really good i keep actually wrapping up at 5 pm when iām supposed to#bc i changed managers and also roles slightly#and my new stuff is a lot more project and people management and that stuff sort of HAS to be done during the hours of 9-5#no longer can i leisurely coast through the day and stretch the workday to 10 pm lol#i have crazy amounts of free time now which iām still getting used to and it feels sort of absurd to not have the anvil hanging over my#head all the time#idk what to do w all this free time but bf turned me into a gamer (lol) and i beat an insanely hard level today n am feeling super proud of#myself š„°#however i am experiencing 1 bad thing and that is my acne has exploded again so badly it almost looks pre accutane#luckily no skin thickening or cracking or bleeding#like itās still fairly smooth and the texture isnāt fucking up in that way but god fucking DAMN i am red and BUMPY#its like everytime i go visit houston i die#*i come back with more whiteheads and bumps and flares it is truly#horrid#i be having rosacea related meltdowns on the daily i scared to go outside without makeup on i hate it here#but other than that!!!!!!!!!!#life good it good#:)
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