#daddy matt

[samandcolbyownme]

matt sturniolo x preg!best friend reader. they had a drunk ons and reader got pregnant. she doesn’t know what to do so she tells bsf!nick and matt and chris overhear?

i love your writing btw!!!

Warnings: strong language, established friendships, pregnancy talk, pregnant!reader, dad!Matt, morning sickness, feelings of worry/being scared, kissing, mostly fluff

Word Count: 3.8 | unedited

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

After helping your friends film a truth or drink video for their channel, you found yourself in the hot tub.

You yourself were kind of tipsy, with the drink you were drinking, you were quickly working your way to being drunk along with Matt who sat across from you.

“Hey, uh. Thanks for helping us do this tonight.” He brings his glass up to take a drink, “I’m glad someone more sober was there to mediate.”

You laugh, “I wouldn’t say sober. Those shots Nick made me do kind of got to me a lot faster than I initially thought they would.” You bring your glass up to your lips, taking a sip as you glance over at Matt, “What?”

He shakes his head, “Nothing, you’re just…” he sighs, “So beautiful.”

You roll your eyes, leaning forward to sit up more, “You’re drunk.”

“I may be drunk, but come tomorrow.. when I’m sober, I’ll still think you’re beautiful.”

You smile slightly, leaning over to grab the bottle of alcohol.

“What are you doing?” Matt asks as he leans forward.

You glance over at him, “I’m just.. uh..” you laugh slightly as you pour some into your glass, “Getting some liquid courage.. because..” you set the bottle down and take the shot.

You take a deep breath, “What I’m about to might ruin our friendship and I really don’t want to think about that right now.”

You move over, straddling his lap and he drops his glass into the water, his hands instantly moving to your waist as he whispers, “It won’t ruin it.”

You grind down onto him as your lips connect with his, moving slowly with heat burning rapidly between the two or you.

He slides his hands down to your ass, bucking his hips up as he swallows your moans and groans lowly himself.

“Do you want to?” You whisper against his lips and he chuckles, “You have no idea.”

You jump, the timer on your phone ripping you from your thoughts and you scramble to turn it off. You drop it to the floor, reaching down with shaky hands to pick it back up and finally silence it.

You let out a slow breath, glancing at yourself in the mirror before you close your eyes and mentally count to three.

1..

2..

3..

You flip the test over and your knees go weak. You drop the test, gripping onto the counter and suddenly it feels harder to breathe.

“Oh god..” you gasp, “What do I do? What am I gonna do?” You turn the cold water on, shoving your hand under and bending down to splash some on your face.

You rest your forearm on the counter, leaning down to rest your face into the bend of your elbow and you can’t help but sob.

A few moments later, you stand up, taking another test out of the package and moving to sit down on the toilet.

Once the stick is ready. You lay it on the counter and finish up. You take your time, facing away from the counter as you pull your shorts up.

Reaching over to flush with a more unsteady hand. You close the lid and sit down.

You felt like you were in shock, but at the same time, it all makes sense.

Getting random urges to puke.

Avoiding food you know you love.

And let’s not forget the period that never showed up.

You reach over, flipping the test over and dropping it as soon as you see the second line. Tears instantly well up into your eyes and your mind is just bombarded with all things negative.

You take a deep breath, standing up to walk to the sink.

You avoid looking at the two tests while you wash your hands, you felt like you could puke just from looking at them.

You bend down, running cold water over your face before drying off with the towel.

You gathered up all the empty packaging and wrappers and stuffed them into your garbage can. You laid a few ravels and clean toilet paper on top to hide it and grabbed the two tests.

You walked out to the living room and sat down on the couch, your eyes glued to the two little window screens that both have a double line.

A part of you was in denial, trying to convince yourself they were false positives, but that’s rare, and to get two in a row, also rare.

You stood up, walking to your room to grab a sweatshirt. You threw it on and walked over to grab your phone before your bag and car keys.

You locked your door and quickly made it out to your car and to one of the furthest drug stores you could go to.

You threw your hood up before walking in, quickly making your way to the pregnancy test isle and grabbing one of each kind of test.

You walked up to the check out, thank god it was self scan.

You scanned each one, paid and bolted out to your car. You pushed your hood down and took a deep breath, jumping as your phone went off.

You searched your bag, pulling it out and your heart skips a beat when you see Nick’s name.

“Hello?”

“What the fuck have you been?” Nick asks, “Feels like forever since I’ve seen you.”

You force a laugh, “You saw me last week.”

“I know, but you’re literally more fun than these two idiots here, come over tonight, pleeeease!” he begs, “I’ll get your favorite pizza or whatever you want.”

“Oh gosh, no. No pizza please.”

“Why? What’s wrong with pizza?” He asks and you sigh, thinking of a lie on the spot, “I’ve had pizza these last two nights. Not really in a pizza kind of mood.”

“Oh, well then I guess it’s a good thing I said or whatever you want.” He laughs, “Just come over. We miss you over here.”

“Okay. I just have to run home quick and then I’ll come over.” You start to drive home, “It’ll probably be like an hour or so.”

He groans, “Fine, I’ll manage. Where are you at?”

“I uh, just had to drop some stuff off for my sister.”

Again, another lie.

“Why do you sound like you’ve been crying? You sound stuffy. Are you getting sick?”

Nick knows you way too well.

“Maybe? I know I was up coughing last night on and off so probably.”

“You weren’t crying?” Nick questions and you swallow, “No, Nick. I’m fine. Just..” you sigh, “Nevermind. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

You hang up before he can say anything else and you toss your phone back into your bag. As soon as you come to a stop at the red light, you burst into tears.

You quickly wipe your face before the light turns green and you get to your house as fast as you can.

Once inside, you go straight to the fridge to grab a water. You told Nick about an hour, and now you’re down to about twenty minutes.

You didn’t live far from them, so that’s not what you were worried about. You were worried about them knowing something was up, but with Nick, they probably already know.

You go to the bathroom, taking a plastic cup with you to pee in. You unwrap all of the tests and dip each one in before letting them sit on the counter.

It was shocking at how fast the non digital ones showed up, and of course, the digital ones said pregnant in bold black letters.

You gripped the counter, shaking your head as you took a few slow breathes. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, your face also felt like it was on fire.

“Fuck, okay. Okay. I’ll just.. I’ll talk to Nick. He’ll know what to do.” You threw away the boxes and grabbed the tests, putting them back in the wrappers before walking out to your bag and tossing them in.

As you make your way out to your car, you text Nick, I’m on my way.

He quickly answers, About time. Drive safe.

You get into your car, sitting there for a second before starting it and beginning to drive.

The whole way there it felt like you were going to hurl.

Your nerves felt like they were about shot, you didn’t know how to even bring it up to Nick and especially Matt.

You are best friends.

Or, were.

The thought along wanted to make your curl up and bawl. Thinking about a life without Matt, or his brothers, was heart wrenching.

Your stomach felt like it dropped through the car floor as you pulled in right behind Matt’s car. You wanted to turn around and leave but Nick was already walking out the door to greet you.

He walks up to your window and you open the door to step out. You throw your bag on your shoulder and turn to face him.

His face falls when he finally sees you “You look like you’ve seen a ghost, y/n. Are you okay?”

“I need to talk to you about something, but I need it to be just you.”

“Create a diversion. Got it.” He gives you a thumbs up and you shake your head, “Not right away. Just hang out for a little bit then ask me to come with you for clothing advice or something? I don’t know.”

“Oh it’s bad isn’t it.” He shakes his head, “Girl, what are we going to do with you?”

You laugh slightly, fighting to hide the tears, “Oh you haven’t heard anything yet.”

He leads you in and you freeze when you see Matt walking out towards the door, “There she is.”

“Here I am.” You try not to sound nervous, squeezing your bag shut between your arm and body, “Sorry, I’ve just.. work has been hectic and I have a deadline to meet at the end of this week.”

Again, not a total lie, but still a lie.

“You’re good.” Matt smiles, “We’re figuring out what to get for dinner, you can come help us if you’re hungry.”

You nod, suddenly feeling like you’re starving, “Yeah, I could eat. I haven’t had anything all day.”

“Just no pizza.” Nick teases and you nod, “Yes, please no pizza.”

Matt furrows his brows and you laugh, “I’ve ate it the last two days. It was just what I had at the house.”

“Gotcha.” He laughs and turns around to walk away.

Nick looks at you but your focus is on Matt.

“I’m sure you have a picture of him that’ll last longer, y/n.”

You push his shoulder, “Shut up. Thats not- don’t do that.”

He laughs, “Whatever you say.” He walks past you and into the living room and Chris yells as soon as you walk in, “Ah, oh my gosh! It really is you!”

“Shut your mouth.” You laugh, “As I told Nick, you literally seen me last week.”

Chris mocks you, “You literally seen me last week, okay!? And!? That doesn’t make up for all the other days.”

You laugh and sit down in the chair, “Oh cry about it.”

“Maybe I will.” Chris pouts, “My feels are hurt.”

Matt and Nick laugh and you glance at Matt, looking away before he looks back at you, “So, y/n. What are you hungry for?”

“We can do chiplotle? If that’s okay with you guys?” You look around they all nod, “I haven’t had that in so long.” Nick groans, “See. This is why we needed you to come out of hiding.”

“I.. wasn’t in, hiding.” You roll your eyes, “I told you, I have a lot of work to do.”

“Like what?” Nick tilts his head and you sigh, “I have to design a dress for my boss and that is like.. a lot of pressure, okay?”

“What’s the design?” Matt asks and you tilt your head, “Something for the spring line. Floral, white lacy pastel flowers. I don’t know. That’s what she said she wanted incorporated with it, so..”

“I think it’ll turn out better than you think.” Matt nods, “Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“I’m trying.” You swallow, “So, food?”

Ever since that night with you and Matt, it hasn’t been weird at all. It’s been literally normal, you both know what happened, you had one conversation about it, and that was that.

It wasn’t until you couldn’t wake up without wanting to barf that you started using work as an excuse for you being so extremely tired that you just slept most days.

You barely had any work, your boss has been on vacation the last few weeks.

“Oh, fuck. Y/n.” Nick snaps, “I need you to help me with something.”

“With what?” You look at him and he nods, “I need your opinion on these outfits I have picked out for my Space Camp photoshoot that I have coming up.”

“You don’t want our options?” Chris asks and Nick laughs sarcastically before giving him a harsh, “No.”

You stand up, your bag still in your hand, “Speaking of, I have those color swatches for you.”

“What the fuck are color swatches?” Chris asks and you bat the air, “If you don’t know, then it doesn’t concern you.”

Matt laughs at Chris and you follow Nick upstairs to his room. He closes the door behind you and you immediately start to hyperventilate.

“Whoa, whoa. Deep breathes, deep breathes.” Nick wraps his arms around you, squeezing you slightly, “in through your nose and out of your mouth.”

You do that a few times and nod, “Okay. I-I think.. I’m good.”

“What has gotten into you, y/n? I’ve never seen you-“

“I’m pregnant.”

His jaw drops, “Excuse me?”

You nod, opening your purse and pulling the tests out.

“Okay. I’m not going to lie, you having those in your bag is kinda gross.”

“Niiiick.” You whine, “I’m actually losing my shit over this.”

“How many..” he walks over, pulling your bag open, “Jesus fuck, y/n. How many are in there?”

“I don’t know, I took two and then when you called I just left the store with one box of each so maybe like eight or something.. I don’t know.”

You sit down on the bed and pull out two, “They’re all positive.”

“All of them?” He asks as he sits down next to you, “Did you call the doctor?”

You nod, “All of them.. and no. I didn’t know what to do, I just..”

“Panicked.”

You nod and he tilts his head, “Do you at least know who the father is?”

You nod and look at Nick, “Yep. Sure do.”

“Well who? Who is it?”

You feel tears welling up in your eyes and you sigh, “Matt.”

“Matt!?” He asks in a shocked and loud tone as he stands up, “as in, my brother, Matthew Bernard Sturniolo?”

“Shhh! I don’t want him to find out like this!” You pull him back down to sit, “Nothing is weird between us, but I know that we’re both young and he has the YouTube thing and I have my.. whatever going for me.”

“Y/n. You work for one of the biggest stylist in the country. You’re fine.” Nick assures, “But he needs to know.”

“No, no I know. I know. I just.. what if he doesn’t want me around anymore? It was one stupid drunken one night that’s turned into a lifetime of being around each other, and I know we’re all friends but-“

“Oh no, honey. You and Matt are not just friends.”

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows and Nick laughs, “Are you joking? He looks at you like you’re his entire world. That one night stand was bound to happen at some point.”

You sit there stunned, “A-Are you.. what.. I-I..”

“Listen to me. Telling Matt is the best thing you can do for you and that little tiny thing growing right.. in.. there..” he pokes your stomach and you laugh, swatting his hand away, “I know. I just.. how do I tell him?”

“Maybe you can show him one of the five thousand tests sitting in the bottom of your purse.” Nick laughs, “I still can’t believe you just have them. Like, they make ziplocks, y/n.”

“I was panicking, Nick! You can’t blame me for that!” You laugh, wiping away your tears, “I didn’t know what else to do and you’re literally my best friend.”

“Aw.” He tilts his head, “And you are mine.”

He pulls you in for a hug and you sigh, “I just hope he doesn’t freak out and things go south.”

Nick shakes his head, resting his cheek on top of yours, “He might be shocked at first, but I don’t think it’ll go south. Plus..” he laughs and you lean back, “What…”

“I’m gonna be uncle Nick.” He smirks and you nod, “Yes. The best uncle Nick ever.”

“Do you want me to go get Matt, or..” Nick looks at you and you sigh, “Yeah, might as well get it done and over with.”

Nick nods, “Okay, just stay here and try not to panic.”

“Easier said than done.” You laugh nervously and take a deep breath. You watch as Nick opens the door and stops, “Um, it’s not polite to eavesdrop ya know.”

“Move.” Matt pushes past Nick and closes the door.

You stare at Matt, the tears burning as they make their way up to spill over your waterline. Along with that, word vomit spews from your lips, “A-Are you mad? Are we not friends anymore? I-I totally understand if that’s what you want, I just.. I thought you’d be mad so I went to Nick first to see what I should do and-“

Matt’s hands are cupping your face, “Shh, shh.. just, relax, y/n. I’m not mad. I promise.. I’m not mad.”

“You’re.. you’re not?” You look up at him and he shakes his head before resting his forehead on yours, “I knew it was a risk, doing what we did, but I didn’t care because I just love you so much.”

“You love me?”

He chuckles, “Are you going to question everything that I say?” He smiles as you shake your head and you smile slightly, “I love you.”

“You love me?” He teases and you roll your eyes, “Yes. I do.”

“Nick was right.” Matt sighs, “I look at you like you’re my whole world because you are.” His hand slides down to your stomach and he swallows, “And now we’re adding one to the solar system.”

You raise your brows and laugh through the tears, “Oh my god, Matt, that was so cheesy. I love it.” You press your lips to his and you hear Chris and Nick giggling outside the door.

Matt takes your hand into his and walks over, quickly opening the door.

Nick and Chris shoot up straight and stare at him.

“You know, it’s not nice to eavesdrop.” You raise your brows and Nick sighs, “You expected me to leave without knowing how this was going to go, please.” He rolls his eyes and Chris looks at you, “So it’s true? I’m going to be an uncle?”

You nod, “Yep.”

“And you..” he points to Matt, “Are going to be a dad?”

Matt nods, “That’s how it works Chris.”

“Woo! Daddy Matt. Oh everyone is going to love this.”

“No, now hang on. I’m not even sure what we want to do about that yet.” Matt looks at you, giving your hand a squeeze, “It’s up to y/n anyway.”

“Very respectful, I like it.” Nick nods, leaning up against the door, “You should probably call and schedule an ultrasound before anything.”

You snap, “Oh shit, right.” You walk over and grab your phone, “They’re closed now. I’ll have to call in the morning.”

“First thing, missy.” Nick points and you sigh, “Yes, Nick. I’ll make sure to wake you up as soon as they open.”

“Okay.” He shrugs and Matt laughs, “I hope you’re ready for nine months of mother hen Nick.”

“That’s not always a bad thing.” You smile, “At least I won’t have to set a reminder to take my prenatal.” You eyes go wide and you start to tear up, “I need to get prenatals.”

“I’m on it!” Nick lifts his finger into the air, “Just text me which kind.”

“You can’t drive!” Matt yells and Nick walks back in, “We’re all on it. Now let’s go!”

Him and Chris walk out of the room and Matt pulls you in for a hug, “I knew something was up with you. You never avoid us, especially me.”

“I didn’t- okay..” you laugh slightly, “I was feeling sick and then today I just had this gut feeling to test and I took like eight..”

“Eight!?” Matt laughs, “Holy fuck. One wasn’t enough?”

“Well, I took two at first, but then I was in denial so I went out and got one box of each test and here we are.”

He shakes his head, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “It’s fine, ma. I’m just glad I know now.” He grabs your hand and squeezes it, “So when are you moving in?”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

A few weeks later

“Oh look!” You point to the screen, “Are they the toes?”

The tech nods, “Yes, this is the foot, and oh! They’re a kicker.”

“That’s so weird, I don’t feel anything yet.” You look up at Matt and he smiles down at you.

“Babies start to really move between sixteen and twenty five weeks, some people may not feel anything until closer to the twenty five mark, but everyone is different.”

You nod, “Okay. We’re close to being fourteen weeks now.”

“Yeah, you probably have a little bit to go. If this is your first pregnancy, you might not feel it until around the twenty five week mark.” The tech clicks a few times and takes the wand from your belly, “Everything is looking good. If you want, we can do a blood test and get the gender back to you, or you can wait until the twenty week mark?”

You look at Matt, “What should we do?”

He shrugs, “That’s all your choice, babe. Whatever you want to do, I support.”

“I think we’ll wait until the twenty week scan.” You nod and look at the tech. She nods, “Alright. If you want, we can get you scheduled for another check in about four weeks and then another for twenty weeks. Okay?”

You nod, “Okay. Thank you.” You smile and wipe off your stomach before pulling down your sweatshirt, “This is real. This is actually happening.”

Matt helps you sit up and he presses a kiss to your temple, “It sure is, ma.” He smiles, “I couldn’t picture doing this with anyone but you.”

You look up at him, reaching up to lay a hand on his cheek, “I love you.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! I love you so much! I’ll catch you in the next one! ���

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[faithlia]

౨ৎ Was It Wrong?

english is not my first language!

summary: Matt knows it's wrong the way he feels about you, especially sence he's your stepdad...

warnings: mdni, suggestive, angst, smut, fluff(?), age difference. (reader is of legal age), guilty!matt, perversion, cheating, unprotected sex...

- matt 28 years old.

a/n: this fic was inspired by my absolute obsession with Matt dressing up as a dad. 🫦

⚠️ If you don't feel comfortable, please, don't read!

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"For me, that was true love!" - because of you by lana del ray.

When did the feeling of guilt become so delicious? Hunger convinces us that anything that is beautiful to the eyes can satisfy us, and this is irreversible.

For Matt, the most impulsive decision he had ever made in his entire life became his fate. He was a docile man, but he didn't have the strength to fight against immorality.

He had recently moved into your house. Matt was so sweet to you, he was always gentle and passive, and you loved that. You loved his kindness, the way he treated you so well, and especially the way he looked at you so purely.

He was perfect in everything he did, funny about everything he said and never disrespected you and that was your downfall, because he would never be yours....

Was it so wrong to feel that way?

One time, you were in your car with Matt going shopping.

"When did you learn to drive?" you asked, interested in the way he seemed so relaxed.

"Hm, when I was sixteen, I think." he said monotonously.

"Wow, that must have been a long, long time ago," you teased him with a smile.

"Oh, come on! I'm not that old!" he interrupted you, feeling offended, but he didn't hide his shy smile.

He really wasn't that old, not to you. Nothing outside the law could stop you from being with him, except that he was your mother's fucking boyfriend. Fuck. That fucked with your head more than you could imagine. He should be yours! You should be the one sleeping next to him, the one kissing him, the one making love to him. It was your right to be entirely his.

You had only known Matt for eight months, but that was plenty of time for you to fall in love with him.

When your mother said she would be away for two weeks for a work trip, your heart fluttered with happiness. Staying with Matt during your vacation seemed like a never-ending dream, but that was an untimely torment for him.

While you were shopping, you realized how responsive Matt was. He always felt very comfortable doing the household shopping, he wanted to keep everything in order and do his best to please. On the weekends, when you came home from college to spend time at home, he would make a point of cooking for you. So sweet!

"What do you think of lasagna for dinner?" he asked as you walked past the frozen food section. You weren't really interested in browsing shelves and checking prices, so you just carried the shopping cart wherever Matt went.

"That's okay." you said and he immediately put it in the cart.

What was going on in Matt's head? You wanted to know everything about him. Despite knowing about his charitable kindness and his perceptive ability to be a good cook, you didn't know much about Matt. I mean, you knew he worked for a big company, had been out of the country three times, and played hockey, but what else could possibly fuel your need to get to know him?

"You know, I just realized I don't know much about you," you said as you walked down the liquor aisle. "

"What do you mean? She didn't tell you about me before I moved?" he laughed nervously, picking up a case of beer and reading wine labels.

"No! I mean, yeah, she told me about the "nice guy" she was dating, but we're not very communicative." you tried to explain it in a way that wasn't frustrating.

"Okay," he said, knowing about the complicated relationship you had with your mother. "What would you like to know?"

"I don't know. Anything! You seem very interesting..." he smiled shyly, without even looking away from the labels.

"Okay, um, well, I'm from Boston and I'm a triplet." He took his phone out of his pocket, rummaging through the photo gallery to show you a picture of him with his brothers. "Here. This is Chris and Nick. I think I was your age back then." You looked at the photo, completely fascinated by how his appearance hadn't changed much, he still looked as young as when he took the picture.

You also felt bold enough to say: "Nick is gorgeous, is he single?"

"Well, he is! But I don't think you're his type..." you frowned, confused. "He's gay."

"I guess I'll have to settle for Chris then..." you loved the way he raised his eyebrows in surprise.

Going to the hygiene and cleaning section, Matt told you about how he hated summer - he was more of a cold-weather guy -, and about his favorite songs and singers. You were ecstatic about how similar your tastes were. It made you fantasize more than you should have.

You were putting a pack of tampons in the cart, when your cell phone started ringing.

Shit. This was not a good time for your boyfriend to call you.

You answered the phone hearing Trevor's voice on the other end of the line. He wanted to meet you, but you didn't want that right now. The whole situation with Trevor was so morbid and impertinent, you wanted to break up with him as soon as possible, but he seemed to avoid that conversation at all costs.

You let out a pout and Matt noticed your hesitant expression. "What happened, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart

He constantly called you by these nicknames full of affection. He had such excellence in words and it made your heart warm.

"It's just my idiot boyfriend. He wants to see me."

"Idiot? What an unusual affectionate nickname" he joked, as the two of you walked to the cashier. You laughed and said: "I don't want to sound like a bad bitch or anything, but I don't think I like him the same way I used to." You explained it like it was no big deal and really, it wasn't!

"And why didn't you break up with him?" he questioned, but soon regretted the invasive question "Oh, I'm sorry. That's none of my business.."

"No, it's okay to ask. I guess I was just feeling needy and needed to have sex with a guy who made me feel good, but all those feelings are gone..." Matt swallowed hard after you were so uninhibited with him "It's okay to talk about these things with you, right? We're friends, right?" you said suggestively.

Matt nodded and smiled at you, saying, "Of course, love."

Matt followed your instructions and took you to Trevor's house. He had a worried look on his face, but you said you'd be home soon.

When Matt got home, he could finally enjoy the cozy silence. He put all the groceries in their proper place, heading to the laundry room.

Matt liked living there. It wasn't a big house, but it was entirely comfortable. He enjoyed the view of the small flower garden and how he lived so fully. It seemed like he had found peace, except for... except for you.

You were a fleeting obstacle in his life

Matt wasn't stupid or naive. He knew very well what was going on right under his nose, but it was so lewd that even he couldn't believe it. The burning in his mind was constant as the indecent repulsion took over him.

── .✦

Last Wednesday night, having just returned from the airport, Matt quietly entered the house - he wanted to rest after the exhausting day he had had, but as he climbed the stairs, he was surprised by constant moans coming from his stepdaughter's room. He breathed deeply, listening to the moans and passionate whimpers.

"Hmmm, yeah," you sounded slurred.

Matt felt helpless and reluctant. Damn. It was obvious that he found you attractive, he found you beautiful and your attitude biting, and he liked it! He liked it because even under that chaste cover, he chained a distressed and desperate excitement; he liked it because he was uninhibited, prone and felt moved when you looked him deep in the eyes so intensely, and he liked it, mainly, because he wanted to touch you with warmth, he wanted to be sweet and soft and he wanted to thrust himself and cum inside you.

But he knew, he knew! How wicked it was...

When your moans stopped, it was already too late for Matt, he had a hard cock and his chest racing. He walked to the bathroom quickly to take a cold shower. He took off his clothes, feeling the sensitivity of the fabric of his boxers dragging over his hard cock and sighed when the cold water wet him, but, damn, not even that helped. He ran his calloused hand over his cock more and more quickly, wanting to expel all that harmful feeling outside. He imagined what you could be like and what it would be like to feel the heat of your pussy for the first time. It could be delicious.

When Matt came, the guilt hit him without restraint. Now he was what he believed himself to be. He cried for being such a son of a bitch and after taking himself like a tremendous wretch, he went to sleep thinking about you moaning his name. In his dreams, you were entirely his to care for and adore.

─ .✦

In the present day, during your absence, Matt was taking his clean clothes from the dryer that you had put on before you went to the supermarket. He threw the kitten-print tank tops, the sleep shorts and the lace and flowery panties into the basket.

"Shit." he said out loud for the first time since he had arrived home. Was it common for an adult to be embarrassed like that? He felt like a virgin teenager again.

He took the basket of clothes to your room and placed it on top of your covered bed. But he didn't have to stop there, did he?

He lay down on his bed feeling the coldness of the sheets, unable to resist turning over and dragging his covered cock against the soft mattress, imagining that it was you being fucked so well by him. His excitement was immense. He let out a hiss as he thrust slowly and when he couldn't take it anymore, he put his hand inside his pants, freeing his needy dick.

But, unfortunately, before he could masturbate frantically, Matt suddenly heard your voice telling him that he had arrived.

He got up quickly, putting his hard cock in his pants, trying to fix your bed.

Matt left your room and soon entered his own, slamming the door loudly. He breathed frantically, reviewing all the shit that had just happened.

── .✦

After he had recovered, he went downstairs to cook dinner and after eating he went to watch a hockey game on TV. He thanked God for being able to get away from the noisy situation and think about anything other than you.

After taking your shower, you went to the living room wearing pajamas that showed your nipples. You expected Matt to look at you and blush, just for your private amusement, but he didn't do anything like that.

"The lasagna is in the fridge, in case you want to have dinner." he said, taking a sip of beer.

Matt had a different expression than you were used to seeing. He looked... irritated.

"Okay! I already ate."

He was silent. He had his tattooed arm over his head and his legs spread. His expression was different from what you were used to.

You shrugged your shoulders at the bad posture and decided to join him, lying down on the couch. Matt took up half of the space, so your legs were bent, with your private parts covered only by the thin fabric of your pajamas being quite noticeable. Matt narrowed his gaze and bit his lip, trying not to turn his head.

Just a look, c'mon. It doesn't matter...

Matt grunted, trying to look oblivious and you pressed your lips together to hold back a giggle.

"So how was it with Trevor?" he asked, drinking the rest of his beer. "Well, we talked a little and then..." you said suggestively.

"And then what?" Matt looked away at you, intrigued.

Matt couldn't resist lowering his head when he turned to you. He could see the plump lips of your pussy being practically squeezed by the fabric of your shorts. He wanted to sink in and stick his tongue right there.

"Oh, you know..." your voice sounded so calm and sleepy. You pretended to pay attention to the game while letting Matt drown in his own saliva.

Matt clearly knew. Shit. He didn't even want to think about it. He was immediately jealous. His expression didn't change, he remained silent, pretending, but the voices in his head were disturbing.

"Matt, are you okay?" His concern was fake and feigned. It was obvious that he was jealous and you loved it.

You didn't have sex with Trevor, in fact, you had a huge fight, resulting in endless yelling and unnecessary dialogues. When you got home, you were glad Matt was in the room so he wouldn't see your tired and sad expression. You saw the basket with your various washed and smelling clothes inside, being happy that Matt had kindly placed them there. It was such a simple act, but a passionate strangeness was present.

With your question, Matt came back to reality. Damn, he really was crazy. He didn't want to scare you with his stupid jealousy. He tried to soften his expression. "Yes, I am, sweetie." A short smile formed on his lips.

You stretched your legs comfortably on his lap, not caring at all about the informality, and he didn't mind. It was as if you were a couple and that moment was eternal.

You couldn't resist teasing him, gently running your foot over his neck. Matt made the situation worse, joining in the fun when you ran your toes over his face and he grabbed them with his hands, snapping them. You let out a sharp cry of surprise, making Matt smile, still focused on the game. He tickled you, making you laugh, and snapped your other foot, but this time hard.

"Ugh, Matt." you groaned in pain, trying to hold your own foot. "I'm sorry." he said, smiling. He gave a little kiss on the top of your foot, dragging the palm of his hand over that area. "I'm sorry." he said once more and the pain dissipated.

When the game was over, Matt went to bed and said goodnight to you, after all, he would wake up very early in the morning. You fell asleep on the couch, too tired to go upstairs. All you wanted was for Matt to pick you up, give you lots of kisses and lie down next to you. It was a cozy fantasy.

On Monday morning, Matt woke up disoriented, wanting just five more minutes of sleep. Ready for work, he went downstairs and saw your sleepy figure on the couch. If he had been brave enough, he would have picked you up and carried you to your comfortable bed. He observed every detail of your face and how soft your lips looked. He wanted to linger with you, to know what pleased you in bed, in which position you felt most receptive and vulnerable... Shit, it wasn't even ten o'clock in the morning!

Even if he was so deliberately provocative, he couldn't do this to you anymore. He wanted you in his arms, he wanted to make you his woman, his lover, his wife, whatever it was, it was meant to be! But how could he explain it to you? Explain it to his girlfriend? It filled his heart with guilt.

He spent the whole day determined that when he saw you, he would have to talk to you. The confusion was indeterminate but the pain was permanent.

── .✦

Late in the afternoon, after a long stressful day, Matt returned home. Everything was silent as always, but something seemed strange. He climbed the stairs slowly, hearing low whimpers coming from the bathroom. Fuck, that... no, that wasn't what he was thinking... you were crying in anguish.

Matt looked at you through the crack in the door, without having a perceptible view of your entire body, which was naked in the bathtub, but when he opened it a little more, your bruised image was revealed to him. Matt's eyes widened. You were sitting with your knees against your chest; green and purple bruises on your arms and shoulders, your face flushed, eyes and hands swollen...

"Oh my God. What happened?" you heard his worried voice. He knelt down next to the bathtub, held your face with both hands, making you drag your body to hug him and cry on his shoulder. He pressed your bare back with his warm hands, feeling your thick tears wet his shirt, but it didn't matter. "Tell me, please!" he asked once more, feeling his heart heavy.

"I-I, I-I. I'm sorry." A suffocating pain took over your words. Your throat closed and incessant sobs were present every time you tried to speak. "It's okay, it's okay, shhh" Matt tried to calm you down, gently running his hand over your back. He pulled away from you. "Who did this to you, my love." he asked, looking firmly into your eyes.

Matt was desperate and angry, creating several scenarios about what could have happened.

You already had the answer stuck in your throat. It wasn't that you didn't want to say it, you just couldn't.

Your hair was completely messed up and your body was shaking with pain. Matt traced your face with his fingers, moving the strands away so your face was more visible to him. He touched your cheek with his hand and you allowed yourself to place yours against his, loving the softness.

Matt wanted to take care of you.

He looked at you for a few more seconds and got up to place a kiss on your forehead and you melted. He knew he wanted it and so did you. Your body stopped shaking when Matt caressed your arms and planted kisses on both of your closed eyes and finally kissed you soothingly very close to your mouth. He pulled away and you sighed at wanting that so quickly, and finally, he kissed your lips.

It was a soft kiss. It was a healing kiss.

His lips were slow against yours. He breathed heavily as he pulled away from you. "We shouldn't have, I-I..." he mumbled, even though he knew he had started the incident.

You looked like you were about to cry. Matt was everything you wanted and that kiss was so welcoming, you needed more...

"Please." you managed to say, kneeling painfully against the cold floor of the bathtub. Now Matt could see your entire body. He observed your prominent breasts with drops of water on your smooth skin, going down to your abdomen, your intimacy...

Matt didn't want to feel aroused at that moment. It felt wrong. He just wanted to take care of you, to make you feel good.

"Please, touch me." you begged once more, leaving urgent kisses on his lips and putting his hand on your hip, eager for him to touch you. You dragged your hand from your belly to your V line, circling the spot and Matt shivered disconcertingly.

Matt looked away from you and stood up quickly. You almost cried thinking that he would leave you there, humiliated, but he didn't. He lifted you up so that you were standing and surprisingly picked you up, not caring about getting wet, and took you to the bedroom.

Matt laid you down on the silk sheets, weaving kisses across your belly, moving up to your tits, your neck and finally finding your mouth once more. You lifted yourself up with your own arms, not stopping the kiss, inventing positions, making Matt stay underneath. Now you had your intimacy against his covered cock, rubbing yourself deliciously. "Listen to me, listen to me..." he whispered during the kiss. "I want this, I really do, but I don't want to hurt you..." That was a lie, he could never hurt you, you know it! He ran his hands down your arms and then gave lingering kisses to your bruised knuckles. "So tell me the truth. Did your asshole boyfriend do this to you?"

That was the first thing Matt thought when he saw you, but he wanted to hear the answer coming out of your mouth.

You shook your head slowly and Matt looked away, furious. He clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth, trying to focus only on the present moment, on you.

"I want you, Matt. I've always wanted to..." you whispered in his ear, unable to hold back the urge to rub yourself against him, stimulating him. "Please, do something." You took his hand and placed it on your exposed pussy, and he slowly moved his fingers to your begging clit, persuasive. His wet lips moving to the curve of your neck, his soft moans in your ear and his warm hand squeezing your ass...

You took off Matt's shirt, finally feeling the heat of his body. Having his tongue against yours, his hand trailing all over your body; your belly, your protruding breasts; pinching your nipples. He lifted your body easily, taking his hard and aching cock out of his pants, unable to bear the tense stimulation, he positioned the full tip full of pre-cum against your wet entrance. You whimpered at the pressure, loving being stretched open by his delicious size. Matt was being careful. He was so in awe. He grabbed your hips, pulling them down, thrusting harder and harder into you. You let distant moans escape your pink mouth. "Shhh, baby." he whispered, feeling the softness of your wet walls squeezing him so readily.

Matt silenced your moans with his mouth. His thrusts were slow, his touch was constant, holding your hips against his. Matt felt the assiduous hardness of your movements against him. Although he wanted to linger inside you, your excitement wanted more.

Matt couldn't help but open his mouth to moan loudly as you sat against him tightly. He loved the throbbing present in his dick as your pussy squeezed him. "Um, fuck." He moaned, pinching one of your nipples.

"You take me so good." he grunted. "I've waited so long to have you. You don't know how much..."

Matt couldn't contain his exactness any longer. The frantic feeling took over him. He thrust fast against you. It felt so good. The pressure your pussy felt against him made him sick and lustful.

You leaned on one of his legs, increasing your movements and he did the same against you. This was the paradise you had always imagined. He fucked you the way you imagined. It was wet, permissive and intoxicating.

His eyes were blinded by pleasure. His hands were firm on your body and you wanted all that liveliness to last forever.

It was that, that longing feeling, that had been churning for so long in your chest that you finally had it for yourself.

Matt pulled your breast against his mouth and you felt his soft tongue on your nipple, not stopping his thrusts. He moved his lips to the other breast, having one hand against your back, loving being stimulated more.

When Matt hit you, you felt a tingling sensation take over your entire body. You cried out, biting your lip as your brows furrowed at him. "This is it, right?" you nodded, holding your breath with each thrust. "Feels good, doesn't it!?" Matt teased, feeling the same amount of pleasure as you. "Hmm?"

At that moment, both of you no longer knew what you were saying, drunk on the imminent climax.

Matt continued to tease you with dirty words. He held your breast, saying: "I've waited so long to put it in this tight little pussy. Always wanting to show off for me, aren't you, love!?" you moaned in agreement, increasing the speed of your thrusts. Matt realized how those words affected you and that made him more and more urgent. "Always wanting to cum for daddy, right? Always being so good for daddy, aren't you?" Matt gave you a dark and naughty look that you had never seen before and those words made you delirious.

You came intensely, screaming loudly when Matt persisted his movements until he reached his own pleasure. He came right after you.

You fell against his shoulder, breathing heavily, trying to keep yourself steady. Mat had a smile on his lips.

All the guilt, persecution and ardor you had ever felt dissipated in that moment. He had you in his arms as he had always wanted. He made it his and you had never been happier.

"I'm going to kill the motherfucker who did this to you." he whispered in your ear, breathless, referring to the bruises on your arms.

"Would you do this for me?" you asked breathlessly, really wanting it to be done.

Matt pulled your head away, held your face in his hands and looked you intently deep into your pupils.

"I would do anything for you!"

[ho3forfakeguys]

Ladies and gentlemen Matt Rife

[babyxenomorph]

[eddaawrites]

I’m actually so fed up w/ him.

Stop teasing and bring that dick over here.

he’s not real

[alinaa131]

manifesting this simpson prediction to happen VERY VERY soon 🙏🙏

[happilyhertale]

Fire and blood - Daemon Targaryen x wife!reader

Author’s note: Before I got into my usual summary, this fic is part of a collab with a bunch of my lovely moots! @lady-phasma came to us with an ask about period sex and Daemon and being as lovely as she is, she offered us all the chance to collab on it. Choosing our own characters and how to play the story.

Please find the masterlist of everyone's fics here.

English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (:

Summary: You haven't been married to your husband Daemon Targaryen for very long - but you've learnt to enjoy your marriage to the Rogue Prince. But unlike normality, you haven't sought out Daemon for a few affectionate visits throughout the day, and that makes him suspicious…

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x wife!reader

Warnings: Smut; 18+; NSFW; Period smut; fingering (f in v), p in v sex - implied

Word count: 2.2 k

Other stories of mine

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Daemon opens the door, but only darkness reveals itself to him. He raises his eyebrows slightly, but steps into your shared chambers. He is looking for his wife, who has been by his side for several moons now.

During this time, he has already become accustomed to you seeking him out throughout the day, sometimes just to get a little peck and sometimes because you want to tell him something - but today you have not sought him out.

His heavy footsteps sound in your chambers as he walks further inside.

"Are you hiding from me, woman?" he murmurs.

He walks over to a small table with fruit and sweet dishes on it. He takes a bunch of grapes between his fingers before letting them disappear into his mouth.

"Has another moon gone by?" he asks into the room and turns to your bed, where he recognises the outline of a figure under the covers. A slight grin plays around his lips before he walks towards the bed.

But as he gets closer, he picks up an unusual scent.

"What's that smell?" he asks.

And suddenly your voice rings out, "It's oak bark tea... My abdomen is a cramp," you mumble from under the covers.

He's still smiling and comes closer to the bed.

"What have we got here? I wonder what trouble could be brewing under here," he says, reaching lightly for the blanket.

"No... Go away," you say quietly and try to hold the blanket tight.

But Daemon pulls the blanket down further and kneels on the bed with one knee.

"Ah... there you are... what a view," he says sarcastically as the blanket reveals your face. Your hair lies dishevelled on the pillow, your face a little sleepily puffy as your annoyed gaze meets his. "Yes....my beautiful wife," he says and smiles. He pulls the blanket down further and a "Go away," sounds from you again.

He smiles at your words, "Why would I do that when I have such a sight in front of me?" he says, a hint of sarcasm still in his voice again.

You sigh and try to turn away, but you feel Daemon kneel down further on the bed and his hand grips you gently.

"Ah, ah, ah," he says and lies down next to you, his arm wrapped around your middle.

His warm breath brushes the back of your neck as he presses his face into yours, "What's wrong," he whispers.

You sigh again and already feel his large, surprisingly warm hand on your abdomen... a warm touch of your dragon.

"I'm bleeding..." you say almost inaudibly, but Daemon hears your words and smiles slightly. He knows how you feel during your period. You're vulnerable and sleepy. The cramps force you to lie down and only warmth and strange teas from the maesters give you some relief... well, and other things.

But you're his wife and according to him, you should always feel carefree - but he can't refrain from teasing you a little.

"Pardon?" he whispers, smiling slightly, while you sigh lightly again.

"I'm bleeding..." you repeat your words and mumble into your pillow.

"Love..." he whispers again.

You close your eyes and feel this inner tension that tickles your fingertips.

"I'm on my period," you say a little louder into the pillow.

"Love... Sorry, I don't understand," Daemon replies and his lips graze your neck.

His behaviour makes you seethe, why can't he leave you alone?

"Daemon! Seven hells! I'm on my period! I'm in pain and I'm bleeding!", you call out and raise your head slightly.

He chuckles, "It's fine... no need to shout like that..."

You shake your head slightly, wanting to push his arm away, but he has a firm grip on you. His hand slides slowly downwards, his fingers make light, circular movements and you stiffen slightly.

"Daemon, what are you doing," you suddenly whisper.

"I want you to feel good, love... It'll help you relax..." he murmurs into your ear, nibbling lightly.

You gasp and hold his hand back, "Daemon... there's blood... a lot... it's the first day..." you say hesitantly.

He continues to nibble on your earlobe, his fingers sliding along your thigh, not in the least impressed by your words.

"You know there's nothing to be ashamed of. A woman's body is a natural, beautiful thing.... It's beautiful because it's you," he kisses your cheek and lets his nose glide gently along it. His hand strokes along your thigh and you feel a slight throbbing between your thighs alongside the numbing pain in your abdomen.

"Do you want me to take care of you?" he whispers, kissing the soft skin behind your ear.

You bite your lip lightly, but you shake your head slightly.

"Daemon... There really is a lot of blood..." you repeat your words quietly.

He chuckles softly again, another kiss landing on your neck, "Love... a true warrior isn't afraid of a little blood..." he murmurs.

His hand slides further, "Just relax..." he whispers and you try. Slowly, you close your eyes and try to concentrate on his touch as a heavy breath leaves your lips.

Gently, he kisses your neck and shoulder as he holds you close."It's nothing to be ashamed of either. Especially not my wife. It's natural," he whispers in your ear.

His fingers pull your nightgown up, very slowly. His fingers leave a fiery trail on your thigh and you try to ignore the dull ache that runs through your abdomen.

You can't suppress it, your hips begin to move in slight circular motions as his fingers glide through your pubic hair, caressing you. You gasp as you can already feel his arousal from behind as he presses himself lightly against you.

His fingers reach their destination, slowly running along your folds, and you gasp again – your legs spread slightly.

"That's it... I'll take care of you..." he whispers in your ear and you nod slightly.

The sweetest moan escapes your lips as his fingers find your pearl and apply light pressure. Your legs spread wider and a smile graces his lips.

"Daemon..." you gasp.

"I know..." he whispers, nibbling on your earlobe again as his fingers rub gently over your clit.

"Your body is natural and beautiful. Even in all its bloody glory," he whispers and you nod, your breathing quickening.

He kisses you on the cheek again as his fingers tease over your glistening entrance, gently spreading your folds.

You feel the familiar stretch as his fingers slide inside you. But not all the way in, he teases you a little and you exhale heavily, your hips moving towards his fingers, longing for his touch. And then he fulfils your craving – his fingers stretch your walls, trying to find a good angle, pushing deeper. He revels in the slickness that coats his fingers, the evidence of your arousal mingling with the blood that flows.

"Feel how wet you are for me," he whispers teasingly, his smile pressing against the back of your neck.

"Daemon!" you gasp, but also a small moan leaves your lips.

He chuckles briefly, but your concentration is once again fully on his movements as his fingers penetrate deeper.

"Gods..." you gasp and he grins. Slowly, but firmly, his fingers push forward. He can feel your walls clench, longing for release.

"You know I love all the sounds you make, but I love your moans the most. I can feel your walls tighten around my fingers as if your body wants to hold me inside you while I make you tremble..." he whispers in your ear.

You moan again as his thumb grazes your pearl. He continues his expert ministrations, he is determined to make you forget the discomfort, to lose yourself in a wave of pleasure that only he can provide.

His fingers curl inside you, beckoning you as his thumb presses against your clit again.  You press your arse against his hardness and he moans into your neck. As he feels your hips moving towards his fingers, urging for more, he complies, increasing the intensity of his movements. He curls his fingers, angling them to hit that sweet spot within you, knowing exactly how to drive you wild with desire.

"Moan for me…" he commands, his voice laced with dominance, "Let me hear your pleasure, let it echo through these chambers."

And you obey as his fingers thrust deeper. He bites into your neck as his fingers tease your walls. His fingers continue their exploration, delving deeper inside you, seeking out the spots that make you writhe with pleasure. He maintains a steady rhythm, his touch skilled and attentive to your body's responses.

Smacking noises echo in your chambers as his fingers pump in and out faster. His fingers sliding in and out of your wetness with ease. With each thrust of his fingers, he can feel the slickness and warmth of your arousal, heightening his own desire.

He starts to apply more pressure and lets a third finger slide in. He knows what you like and he gives it to you the way you need it. He stretches your walls while they continue to clench around his fingers. Daemon's eyes gleam with a mixture of desire and possessiveness as he feels your response to his touch. He revels in the power he holds over your pleasure, his fingers moving with a practiced precision.

"Oh, my sweet wife," he murmurs, the words laced with a mixture of possessiveness and anticipation. "You are so responsive, so eager for my touch."

His body presses against yours, his hard length grinding against your backside as he continues to pleasure you with his fingers. His lips find your ear, his breath hot against your skin. Your fear of smearing him with your blood is forgotten, you need more.

"Daemon... Daemon," you whimper again and again, your arm reaching back, to the back of his head. Your fingers reach into his silky hair and he grunts. As he continues to drive you towards the peak of pleasure, Daemon's own desire grows, his need for release becoming undeniable. But at this moment, he's focused solely on your pleasure, on taking you to the edge and beyond, on helping you forget your discomfort.

"Yes... my love... Come on, come on my fingers, milk them like you always milk my cock when I fuck that delicious cunt," he growls into your neck.

And that pushes you over the edge. You cry out, your walls tightening around his fingers and Daemon grunts out.

You whimper, your hand gripping his hair tighter as he kisses your neck. Your eyes are closed, your breathing rapid as he pulls his fingers out when your walls stop clenching. A pleasant warmth flows through your abdomen, soothing away the pain more effectively than every maester's tea could.

As you catch your breath, you glance slightly over your shoulder and look at Daemon. He chuckles as he looks at his fingers, they're covered in blood.

"This is a sight I couldn't have imagined at the beginning of the day..", he kisses your neck again, "But I'm going to enjoy it“, he whispers into your ear.

"Daemon, no!" you say with wide eyes.

He just grins as you avert your eyes and blush. You hear the smacking sound as he licks his fingers.

But now you have to laugh as you stare at him again – his eyes are closed and he seems to be enjoying it.

"You're impossible..." you say softly as he still licks his fingers.

"Daemon, stop it!" you say and giggle, but he just grins and pulls you closer to him again.

"Delicious," he murmurs.

He starts stroking and caressing your belly again.

His breathing slows down as he holds you close. The sounds and smell of you, your little body in his embrace, it's almost more than he can bear at this moment.

He gently grabs your chin, as if he were holding something fragile and precious, and gently pulls your head upwards. When you return his gaze, it is gentle and tender.

"And you are my wife. You may feel sick, you may bleed, sometimes I may even be the cause of your anger. But that's all part of your body's natural rhythm. So please, my sweet girl, never hide from the pain, never keep your misery a secret. Otherwise, I promise you, it will cause me more grief than your blood..." he says gently. These moments with him are rare, but you savour them – your lovely husband. You lean towards him and let your lips slide onto his. He growls slightly and you feel his hand on your arse. You giggle slightly and feel his smile on your lips.

But the grip on your arse tightens and he pulls you towards him, positioning you perfectly against his crotch. He still can't hide his excitement and you gasp slightly. Your lips are still dancing around each other, you can feel the coppery taste on his tongue as he starts to undo his trousers. He growls again as his hand spreads your cheeks slightly and presses his hardness between your thighs from behind. You whimper as his cock slides along your folds.

"Let's see if we can give you a little more relief, shall we?" he growls against your lips and you moan as the tip of his cock presses against your slick entrance.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

[transformersweatpants]

I want - and I think I can speak for the whole class here - Trudy to Gone Girl and resort to lesbianism YESTERDAY

[usinguntiligetmyaccountback-blog]

dndads Kelsey grammar really is the character of all time. She’s a teacher. She’s a boxer. She’s a gambling addict. She’s a plagiarist. She once had sex so bad she counted it as -1 on her body count then proceeded to join a bowling team with the guy. She loves crime shows. She has weight in all the right places (which is everywhere). She is a safe haven for teens who are not bisexual because that hasn’t been invented yet. She made a deal with an eldritch horror to help her with her encyclopedias. She even has vaguely homoerotic tension with a robot. What can’t she do?

[evilboygir1]

just saying i’ve never met a good bowler who’s not a lesbian

[redz0nez9]

NOT HIM GETTING FLASHBACKS OF US DURING A STREAM??

[rooolt]

I will admit as a lesbian on the internet that sometimes lesbians on the internet will see two women barely interact and then ship them (which totally cool and correct of them to do). That is NOT what is happening with Trudy and Kelsey those women have layers of homosexuality going on to the point that I am convinced the ghost of a dead lesbian teacher from the 50s has possessed Matthew Arnold and is speaking through him without his knowledge. I hope that Trudy and Kelsey figure it all out and kill Tucker and end up having a wonderful life with their newly acquired murderson Francis Farnsworth. And Freddie’s there too I guess

[realangelahernandez]

I love older men and I love fictional men you put them together……

[respectissexy]

In case you missed it, Dropout.tv, Critical Role and Dungeons and Daddies all donated food trucks to a DnD themed WGA picket event.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.

[luvs-hound]

they don’t have a single dnd mechanic where they need to be doing all that

(photo taken by ein_corny on insta)