#d-duke as a pig?? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

originallandlockedmariner · 2 years ago

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For three years running…

2020

Kobe. Pandemic. Lockdown. Koalas on fire. Harry and Meg retire. Toilet paper hoarding. Alcoholism. Impeach the f*cker. Parasite. Bonnie Henry. Tiger King. Working from home. Sourdough bread. Harvey Weinstein guilty. Zoom overdose. Dip your body in sanitizer. 6 feet. Quarantine. OK Boomer. Home schooling (everyone passes). Murder hornets. Dolly Parton. Don’t hug, kiss or see anybody, especially your family. Chris Evans’ junk. TikTok. Glory holes. Face masks. CERB. West Coast wildfires. Stay home. Small Businesses lose, big box stores win. F*ck Bozos. ‘Dreams’ and cranberry juice. Close yoga studios, but thumbs up to your local gym. Speak moistly to me. George Floyd. BLM. F*ck Trump. Phase 2, 3 and Summer. RBG. Baby Yoda. Biden wins. Bond and Black Panther die. No more lockdown. Back to school and work. Just kidding... giddy up round 2. Giuliani leaks shit from his head. Resurgence of chess. UFOs are real. Restrictions. Dave Grohl admits defeat. Monolith. “F*ck... forgot my mask in the car”. No Christmas shenanigans allowed. Bubbles. Alex Trebek. Use the term ‘dumpster fire’ one too many times. Jupiter and Saturn form 'Christmas Star'. Happy New Year Bitches!!!! 2021... you better not sh*t the bed!!

2021

“We love you, you’re very special”. Failed coup attempt at the Capital. Twitter, FB and IG ban Donny. Hammerin’ Hank goes to the Field of Dreams. Bozo no longer richest man but still a twat. Leachman, Tyson, and Holbrook pass. The economy is worse than expected. Kim and Kanye split. Brood X cicadas. Dre has an aneurysm and nearly has his home broken into. Bridgerton. MyPillow CEO is a douche. Covid restrictions extended indefinitely. Captain Von Trapp dies. Proud Boys officially a Terrorist Organization. Richard Ramirez. Cancer takes Screech. Travel bans. Impeachment trial (again?… oh and this was barely February? WTF??!!) Suez Canal blockage. Myanmar protest. Kong dukes it out with Godzilla, while Raya watches. Olympics. Friends compare elective surgeries. F9. Canada Women’s Soccer Gold. Free Britney. Multiverses. Residential Schools in Canada unearth children’s bodies. Kate is Mare of Easttown. Cuomo resigns. Disney and Dwayne cruise together. Wildfires. Delta variants. Musk passes Bezos. Candyman x 5. Capt. Kirk goes to space. F*ck Kyle Rittenhouse. Astros didn’t win. Squid Game. Goodbye Bond. Dune is redone. Angelina is Eternal. Astroworld deaths. Meta. Omicron. Three Spidermen. Tornados in December? World Juniors cancelled. Pills against Covid. School opening delayed. And Betty White dies. 2022… my expectations are ridiculously low…

2022

Wow… eight billion people. Queen Elizabeth II passes away after ruling the Commonwealth before dirt was invented. The monkeypox. Russia plays the role of global asshole. Wordle. Mother Nature rocks Afghanistan. Hover bike. Styles spits on Pine. Olivia Newton John, Kristie Alley, and Coolio leave us. Pele was traded to team Heaven. FTX implodes. Madonna and the 3-D model of her vagina. Pig gives his heart to a human. Beijing can brag that it is the first city ever to host both the Summer Olympics and Winter Olympics. Uvalde. $3 trillion Apple. Keith Raniere gets 120 years. The Whisky War ends with Canada and Denmark going halfsies. Mar-a-Lago. Nick Cannon brood hits a dozen. Shinzo Abe is assassinated. Inflation goes through the roof (if you can actually afford to put a roof over your head). Volodymyr Zelensky. European heat wave. Bennifer. Salman Rushdie is stabbed on stage, Dave Chappelle tackled, and Chris Rock is only slapped. Thích Nhất Hạnh. Heidi Klum goes full slug. Cuba knocked out by Ian. Liz Truss and 4.1 Scaramuccis. Taylor Swift breaks Ticketmaster. Human shitstain Elon Musk ignores helping mankind and buys Twitter instead. Riri becomes a mommy. NASA launches Artemis 1. Trump still a whiny little bitch. Music lost Loretta Lynn, Christine McVie, and Meat Loaf. Democracy died at least three times. Pete Davidson continues to date hottest women on the planet. Microplastics in our blood. Alex Jones is a cunt. So is DeSantis. Argentina wins the World Cup. Meghan and Harry. Eddie Munson rips Metallica in the Upside Down. tWitch. Roe vs Wade is overturned by the micro dick energy of the Supreme Court. CODA. James Corden shows he is a "tiny Cretin of a man". Amber (and the shit on the bed) Heard (round the world). Sebastian Bear-McClard proves he’s one of the fucking dumbest men alive. Latin America's ‘pink tide’. Anti-Semitic rants by Ye. Bob Saget. A verified blue checkmark. Godmother of punk Vivienne dies. And, Tom Cruise feels the need for speed yet again. 2023… whatcha got for us?!? Nothing shocks me anymore.

#me #my words

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nevalizona · 9 months ago

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Ohmygod😭😭😭😭 I read a wiki of a killer in d*ad by d*ylight and ohmygod😭😭😭😭 I am so enamored by him! It's like he was made for me. This is going to be a dumb long post bc I just wanna copy and paste some sections from his lore that stood out to me. It's all under the cut. At the end I talk a little about it, but I need to put my thoughts together in a more put-together way. This will do for now.

Oh and trigger warnings for gore and violence.

In the sweltering barn, he stares at the blood dripping from his hammer, feeling as though he were in a dream. Strange. Weird. Unhinged. No. Not a dream. More like... like he's living in a TV show... watching himself from a distance. Slaughtered cows thick and wet all around him. Seven or eight of them writhing helplessly in warm, coagulating blood. Heads cracked open. Brain and gore spilling out. Flies buzzing around him, buzzing in his face, buzzing in his ears, telling him this slaughter is who he is. This senseless slaughter is his worth... his only worth.

The flies circle his face and laugh at him. The high-pitched whining returns. "The pigs got names and you didn't! Duke and Donny." He swats at the flies. Pa nudges him. "Come on, Boy, show'em you can do more with that hammer!" Boy... That's what Pa calls him. Boy... That's what Ma calls him. They think he's too dumb to know he doesn't have a name. A real name. He knows. All his life he knew. He knew and imagined himself as Max... Max Thompson. Imagined his Pa was so proud of him that he gave him his name. How he dreamed to have his father's name... how he dreamed... Pa shoves him.

Ma sobs on the ground with a mouth full of cracked teeth. Boy lifts her with one arm and a flood of inarticulate words rush out of his mouth. Words he only understands. Words the TV taught him. He wants to know his name, his real name, and she just stares at him, confused, lost, desperate. She gurgles blood and chips of tooth slip down the side of her face as she begs for her life. Even if she understood what he was saying she could tell him nothing. "My name! My name! What's my name!" Boy slams his Ma against the ground again and again.

"Why? Why did you hate me? What did I do to make you both hate me so much?" Her face is both beautiful and hideous at the same time. Evil veiled by beauty. He hugs her, harder and harder, wishing everything would have been different, wishing he were one of those damn pigs. They spoiled them with love, affection and time — all that time they spent with Duke and Donny while he groveled nameless and alone in a dungeon built just for him. He tries to lift her, but slips in a pool of her blood. She struggles in his embrace. Every time he asks the question he squeezes her tighter and tighter. "My name... What's my name?" Her struggles cease and she jerks spasmodically.

Boy moves to the side to let him pass and stares at his good work. Stares at the gore dripping from his skull like putty. Watches him stagger left and right in the moonlight. If he were a cow, he'd end his suffering. But he's not a cow. He's something else. Something vile and corrupt. Boy watches him disappear in the shadows. He stares at the darkness until he hears a thud. A strange feeling fills his heart and he... laughs. It feels good to fight back and show them his worth — his real worth.

These deputies seem angrier than the last. He's not sure if it's because he felled their friends or if he ended their cleaning racket with his Pa. Maybe both. He just gets the sense if they catch him they'll make him suffer and squeal like a pig. Those pigs. Those damn pigs they loved so much. Why did they have to love them so much and him so little. Had they treated him like those pigs he would have been happy. He would have been happy and he would have been something else. He would have been a hero like that boy who wore a cape and helped the world all because of how his Ma and Pa raised him.

I don't have anything concise to say, but I love how much being loved by parents and the importance of a name is highlighted throughout all of Max's lore. If his parents had shown him even an ounce of kindness, things could have turned out different. He even goes as far to say that if his parents had treated him as they treated their prized pigs, things would be different.

#stevie.txt #text #d*ad by d*ylight

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brookstonalmanac · 9 months ago

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Events 3.17

45 BC – In his last victory, Julius Caesar defeats the Pompeian forces of Titus Labienus and Pompey the Younger in the Battle of Munda. 180 – Commodus becomes sole emperor of the Roman Empire at the age of eighteen, following the death of his father, Marcus Aurelius. 455 – Petronius Maximus becomes, with support of the Roman Senate, emperor of the Western Roman Empire; he forces Licinia Eudoxia, the widow of his predecessor, Valentinian III, to marry him. 1337 – Edward, the Black Prince is made Duke of Cornwall, the first Duchy in England. 1400 – Turko-Mongol emperor Timur sacks Damascus. 1776 – American Revolution: The British Army evacuates Boston, ending the Siege of Boston, after George Washington and Henry Knox place artillery in positions overlooking the city. 1805 – The Italian Republic, with Napoleon as president, becomes the Kingdom of Italy, with Napoleon as King of Italy. 1824 – The Anglo-Dutch Treaty is signed in London, dividing the Malay archipelago. As a result, the Malay Peninsula is dominated by the British, while Sumatra and Java and surrounding areas are dominated by the Dutch. 1842 – The Female Relief Society of Nauvoo is formally organized with Emma Smith as president. 1860 – The First Taranaki War begins in Taranaki, New Zealand, a major phase of the New Zealand Wars. 1861 – The Kingdom of Italy is proclaimed. 1862 – The first railway line of Finland between cities of Helsinki and Hämeenlinna, called Päärata, is officially opened. 1891 – SS Utopia collides with HMS Anson in the Bay of Gibraltar and sinks, killing 562 of the 880 passengers on board. 1901–present 1921 – The Second Polish Republic adopts the March Constitution. 1942 – Holocaust: The first Jews from the Lvov Ghetto are gassed at the Belzec death camp in what is today eastern Poland. 1945 – The Ludendorff Bridge in Remagen, Germany, collapses, ten days after its capture. 1948 – Belgium, France, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom sign the Treaty of Brussels, a precursor to the North Atlantic Treaty establishing NATO. 1950 – Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley announce the creation of element 98, which they name "californium". 1957 – A plane crash in Cebu, Philippines kills Philippine President Ramon Magsaysay and 24 others. 1958 – The United States launches the first solar-powered satellite, which is also the first satellite to achieve a long-term orbit.[ 1960 – U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signs the National Security Council directive on the anti-Cuban covert action program that will ultimately lead to the Bay of Pigs Invasion. 1960 – Northwest Orient Airlines Flight 710 crashes in Tobin Township, Perry County, Indiana, killing 63. 1963 – Mount Agung erupts on Bali killing more than 1,100 people. 1966 – Off the coast of Spain in the Mediterranean, the DSV Alvin submarine finds a missing American hydrogen bomb. 1968 – As a result of nerve gas testing by the U.S. Army Chemical Corps in Skull Valley, Utah, over 6,000 sheep are found dead. 1969 – Golda Meir becomes the first female Prime Minister of Israel. 1973 – The Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph Burst of Joy is taken, depicting a former prisoner of war being reunited with his family, which came to symbolize the end of United States involvement in the Vietnam War. 1979 – The Penmanshiel Tunnel collapses during engineering works, killing two workers. 1985 – Serial killer Richard Ramirez, aka the "Night Stalker", commits the first two murders in his Los Angeles murder spree. 1988 – A Colombian Boeing 727 jetliner, Avianca Flight 410, crashes into a mountainside near the Venezuelan border killing 143. 1988 – Eritrean War of Independence: The Nadew Command, an Ethiopian army corps in Eritrea, is attacked on three sides by military units of the Eritrean People's Liberation Front in the opening action of the Battle of Afabet. 1992 – Israeli Embassy attack in Buenos Aires: Car bomb attack kills 29 and injures 242. 1992 – A referendum to end apartheid in South Africa is passed 68.7% to 31.2%.

#Events

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smol-feralgremlin · 1 year ago

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Trick or treat! :D

~ghost-town-story

Treat!!!

A handful of character facts

-Fay thinks she's hiding her expression when she eats something she doesn't like the taste of. Alaric will tell you shes actually very obvious, and he has to spend a lot of time trying not to laugh because that would ruin all the work he's put into getting her to try new foods.

-Wren still has the patchwork deer that her mother made her when she was a baby. She doesn't like to recall anything before Viren adopted her, but she does still love her deer and sleeps with it whenever she's home.

-Ves says her dislike of pigs is because she's been afraid of them since the boar that broke her leg, and while that is true, it's also because she doesn't like how the fat feels between her teeth.

-Sylpha still thinks one of the best things she ever did was the time she terrorized a duke from another country who was sexually harassing Aldon back when they were in their late teens by waiting until nightfall, sneaking into his rooms, and then sitting on his bed and eating a pomegranate whole. Because in the dark, it looked like she was eating a human heart. She told the duke that if he didn't fucking stop what he was doing...well she'd eat his heart next. The duke did stop, and then spent the rest of the time he was in Alcadia being really twitchy, and flinching whenever he saw Sylpha.

-Ali has a specific broom she uses to smack Rhys with, because she makes sure it's only used around clean dragon bedding materials. He might be annoying with his flirting, but no one deserves to be hit with dragon shit in any capacity.

#trick or treat!#i just realized that this facts with some of the girls #but hey!#I don't talk much about Ali or Rhys and there they are!

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m39 · 1 year ago

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Doom WADs’ Roulette (2006): Operation Overlord

You know, after playing through this total conversion, it made me miss WADs filled with slaughter maps, like both Hell Revealed WADs, Alien Vendetta, both Scythe WADs, etc. With these at least I felt like it wasn’t filled with 24/7 bullshit time like this map/WAD.

G5: Operation Overlord

Main author(s): Nigel Rowand (Enjay)

Release date: August 11th, 2005 (original release)/January 2nd, 2006 (revision b/GZDoom release)

Version played: Revision b

Required port compatibility: GZDoom

Levels: 1 (MAP01 replacement)

Operation Overlord is one of the more unique specimens when it comes to Doom WADs. Its author, Nigel Rowand, created this map for a friend who wanted something that, quoting, [you] could do lots of sniping, hide behind stuff and fight enemies in depth positions where the enemies do not chase you all over the level. Well, looks like the friend got what he wanted. I don’t think most of the WADs enjoyers wanted something like this.

But why is this TC map like this? Don’t worry, I’ll get to it in time.

The basic plot of this map is that there are prisoners held by evil south-Americans. Now go save the prisoners.

...

Still sounds better than CoD: Ghosts.

One thing I can give credit for this map is that it looks rather good. Operation Overlord is based on the WWII operation of the same name, where Allied forces stormed Normandy (including the most notable D-Day in the history of Earth). And let me tell you, this map definitely feels like you are storming the Omaha beach and killing enemy soldiers (even though it’s a more futuristic version of those events).

Shame that it also has these annoying weapon-picking and explosion sound effects from most of the pretentious (G)ZDoom WADs.

The two music tracks that play before and after reaching trenches are also good. They have the warfare vibe that fits with this map.

As I said earlier, your task is to free prisoners. You have to go through the beach where you have to set some charges to blow up barbed wire. Then there is a minefield, trenches with three keys to grab from the guard posts, and finally, the bunker where the prisoners are. It’s a rather simple task and I don’t think you will get lost playing this map.

Like in Heretic/Hexen, you have some inventory items. In case of this total conversion, there is a portable medikit that heals you by 25% and grenades that are rather pathetic if you ask me.

If you actually manage to pass the beach in Operation Overlord, you definitely deserve a title of a Doom God, for this map is way too fucking hard, even on Hurt Me Plenty. I tried to beat it legitimately three times. I failed every time due to Uber Hoovies devouring all of my health in a second. I had to use God mode to actually see what was behind the beach. And that’s only the beach I described to you. There are still three sections that I mentioned above.

I understand that this isn’t the typical Doom gameplay; that you have to duck behind cover and from one to another (the ducking was implemented before it became an official feature in (G)ZDoom), but even while doing that, there are too many goddamn hitscanners everywhere. Where is the fun in a Doom WAD when you are surrounded by these twats? And no, ducking won’t help you for the long term. You step out by just a single pixel and you turn into a Swiss cheese.

It’s kind of hard to talk about new enemies since most of these are hitscanners + some dogs, rocket turrets, and a pig tank from Duke Nukem 3D.

The worst hitscanners are the previously mentioned uber Hoovies (or as the map likes to call them Inca static guns). Shit ton of damage, shit ton of health, little to no attack wind-up. This map would’ve been actually playable without these wankers.

There are also two new weapons added to your armory. One is Thompson which fires faster than the Chaingun (and it might be slightly weaker than that weapon). The other is Railgun. Just a regular railgun. It can kill uber Hoovies in two shots and each shot costs 10 plasma ammo.

Operation Overload is not worth your time. Sure, it looks like something that would be enjoyed by people who like a more tactical approach, but the sheer difficulty will highly make you lose any interest in playing it. You can pass on this map. You won’t miss much.

I’ve heard there is a sequel/spiritual successor to this map that also won one of the Cacowards but I don’t know if I’ll do a proper review of it when we reach Cacowards 2008. I’ll definitely take a look at it and if it won’t be filled with such an amount of bullshit like this map, I’ll do a review of that WAD.

Next WAD on the list belongs to one of the NDCP contributors. So we will see what he has to offer with his solo project.

See you all next time.

Bye.

#doom #doom wad #review #doom mod #doom 2 #doom 2006 #2006 #operation overlord #doom Operation Overlord #Operation Overlord WAD #doom wads’ roulette #cacowards #top ten wads of the year

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the-littlest-wing · 2 years ago

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Damian definitely plays Stardew Valley. He gets one of each animal and this is how he names them, going in more or less play through order:

The pet he chooses is definitely a grey cat named Alfred, because it’s the closest to his either of his dog and cat.

His first brown and white chickens are named Todd and Drake, respectively. Damian is never too fussed with Shane but gets to that heart scene just to have a blue chicken named Richard.

His first cow is named Batcow of course.

Duke/ Thomas, depending on how close they are, is his first duck.

He takes Dick’s suggestion to name his goat Gordan, after Babs. Duck finds this funny, Damian doesn’t get the pun at first.

The one, and only, sheep he gets is named Bruce.

His rabbit is Brown.

The first pig is named after human Alfred (because pigs are the best) but since there are already multiple Alfreds, it’s called Pennyworth.

His Dino is Goliath (again because it’s the closest he can get to the actual animal).

His horse is named Titus. He wanted to honor his dog in a special way and having him be the only animal you can take into town is the perfect way to do this.

The void chicken gets named Cass/Cain (again depending on how close they are). And something about (Kate) Kane being an ostrich just feels right.

When Damian eventually gets a golden chicken there is only one obvious name. Since he named almost all the chickens after Robins, and since he is the best Robin, it get named Littlest D.

#damian wayne #Damian Al Ghul #batfam #bat fam #text post #useless squaks #I only really love a couple of these so any one can revlog with their edits #Damian plays Stardew #this is a SDV sheep slander blog #in my own play through I try to have different naming conventions per animal #I like naming my ducks after the Robin girls #so Steph Carrie and Bette #I love this game and Damian would too ☺️

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kaijurakunsobs · 4 years ago

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Reactions from the Lords and Miranda. S/o has never laughed or smiled since the day she was with the Lords. NEVER. but one day it happens

this feels like a mood but also like unrelatable cuz I have a wheezy loud laughter

so let me think how this would play out

Mother Miranda

when she brought you with her, it was clear something horrible had happened to you, grief was clear in your face

even though you were hurting, your personality remained the same, but no smile ever appeared you face

happiness was expressed in small actions and low hums of songs you once heard

it's late, you are about to pass out and Miranda is quick to dismiss you, telling you to go to sleep

with a nod and a kiss, you make your way to your shared bedroom

the loud thud and what she thinks is you crying, make her bolt out of the room to find you completely hysterical, laughing loudly and attempting to talk between gasps for air

you tripped on the floorboard you said you would repair, for the last 2 months, cackling louder and louder and saying you are ok

she's not worried, Miranda is just happy to hear you laugh

Lady Dimitrescu

the favorite maid of the house, her perfect assistant who seems to know what Alcina needs before she even says it

you are beautiful in her eyes but sometimes she wishes she could see you smile, but your face is stern and cold, only your eyes tell what your face won't

that day you are helping her with her latest business with the Duke, passing her documents and lists for the next shipment of supplies she will need

the man noticed you eyeing a simple piece of porcelain, a ballerina posing with a serene expression on her face

Duke: I hope this doesn't offend you my Lady, but, would it be alright if I offer Y/N a small gift?

Lady D: I would usually refuse something like that, but coming from you Duke, I can only imagine what kind of treasure you will give her

he offers you the figurine revealing its a music box

with soft hands, you take it and smile coyly, turning the key in the base and listening to the tune

Alcina is amazed to see you smile oh so sweetly, slightly angered that it was the Duke who got you to do so, but overjoyed that she got to see it

Salvatore Moreau

3 times a week you visit him

sitting close to him and talking with a calm voice when you retell your latest adventures

he listens and nods, occasionally offering his opinion and sharing his thoughts

you said you hate your smile and that your siblings always made fun of your laughter, saying it was like heating a squealing pig

halfway through your talk, you see a varcolac running amok, doing harsh turns, the muddy terrain offer no traction, and the beast ends up tripping and falling in a mess of limbs and debris

it starts as a snort and develops into a loud howling that you try hard to keep down, Sal starts laughing with you, moved by the gleeful sound than the poor beast falling

he will make sure, to always remember this day

Donna Beneviento

you and Donna understand each other with actions more than words, a kiss can be "I love you" the same way a brush of your hands means "thank you"

for Angie is different, she's verbal and needs to hear your voice to know what you are thinking of everything

so she sets on a crusade to get the most reactions out of you, the hardest being, get you to laugh or smile

you are sitting in the kitchen, Donna is cooking and Angie is just there, starting at you

Angie: SAY, Y/N...do you know...why frogs love to eat bugs so much?

Y/N: well...im afraid I do not know Angie

Angie: It because bugs are CROAKchy!!

the pun is horrible and even Donna sighs at how bad it was

but Angie can see it, a small smile coming to your face followed by a series of giggles that leave both Donna and Angie perplexed

the doll laughs like a maniac and Donna smiles enjoying the sound

Karl Heisenberg

Karl is a patient man, if his years of planning a revolution are anything to go by

and it was that patience that made him with your heart, he courted you, showed you he would love you, your happiness appeared in other ways

in the way you blushed or grew flustered with his advances

he knows everyone is entitled to express themselves any way they see fit, which makes him the less bothered when never smile around him

that's why the first time hits him hard

you had told him many times to sleep well and stop pulling all-nighters to finish something, but he always promises to stop and keeps on doing it

that morning you are drinking coffee and waiting for him to come, the sound of his bare feet alert you that he finally woke up, a yawn can be heard at the end of the corridor

it's clear he's sleep-deprived with how sluggish he moves, he mumbles a good morning and does a quick turn to enter the kitchen, head butting the wall at full force

the hit is enough to wake him but your cackling is what really makes him aware of everything

your head is thrown back and your body is shaking hard with your kaughter

he loves the sound but he feels a bit offended that you are laughing at him

#karl heisenberg #lady dimitrescu #donna beneviento #salvatore moreau #mother miranda #resident evil village #re8 #x reader

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scotianostra · 2 years ago

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On December 26th 1760 “Roebucks, Garbett and Cadells”, later The Carron Company IronWorks, near Falkirk, brought its first blast furnace into operation.

The factory of Roebucks, Garbett and Cadells was established on the north bank of Carron Water, two miles north of Falkirk. Taking iron ore from Bo'ness and water from the Carron, they decided to use the new method pioneered by Abraham Darby at the Coalbrookdale Co, using coke from coal mines in the vicinity as fuel rather than the usual charcoal. The works helped to push other less technologically advanced ironworks, such as the Wealden iron industry based in the Weald, out of business.

Caddell’s young son, also William Cadell, Junior, was appointed manager, and the company’s financial position was precarious in its first few years. It took time and a considerable investment to create the necessary infrastructure and for the largely unskilled workforce to develop the techniques of iron working.

1759 November 11th. The partnership, commencing on 11th November, 1759, was signed on 19th January and 9th February, 1760. There were seven partners, and the capital was to be £12,000, divided into 24 parts or shares. Roebuck and Garbett both had a quarter of the shares valued at £3,000 shares each, Caddell Senior and Junior had another £3,000 worth split evenly between them, the other quarter was split evenly between Roebucks brothers Thomas; Benjamin and Ebenezer.

The company was, at that time, known as “Roebucks, Garbett and Cadells” when the factory started to produce cast iron goods, they were of a generally poor quality. Nevertheless, in 1764, the Board of Ordnance granted the company a lucrative contract to supply armaments to the British armed forces. The company also cast parts for James Watt’s steam engine in 1765.

The company received a royal charter to incorporate as the Carron Company in 1773. However, despite their best efforts, the quality of the company’s products remained low, this resulted in the company’s contracts to supply the Royal Navy being cancelled in 1773.

Undeterred, the company pushed forward the development of a new type of cannon, shorter and therefore much lighter than a long gun of the same calibre known as the “Carronade”.

The carronade was a considerable success, and remained in production from 1778 through to the 1850s. The company established such a reputation for quality that the Duke of Wellington remarked in a letter to Admiral Berkley in 1812 that he only wanted cannon manufactured by the Carron Company in his army. The company also made ammunition, including some invented by Henry Shrapnel.

By 1814, the Carron Company was the largest iron works in Europe, employing over 2,000 workers. They continued to produce pig iron through the 19th century, together with cast-iron products such as balustrades, fire grates, and the Carron bathtub. The company ran its own shipping line and produced munitions in both World Wars. It later became one of several foundries producing pillar boxes and was one of five foundries casting Sir Giles Gilbert Scott’s classic Red telephone boxes. In the 1960s, it produced cast-iron rings to line the Tyne Tunnel under the River Tyne from Jarrow to Howdon and the Clyde Tunnel under the River Clyde from Whiteinch to Govan near Glasgow.

The company diversified into plastics and stainless steel, but the works went into receivership in 1982. The company was bought over and still operates today under the name of Carron Phoenix, part of the Franke corporation. Like its predecessor, The Carron Company, Carron Phoenix’s headquarters are at the Carron Works in Falkirk.

Carron Phoenix produces stainless steel, ceramic and granite molded sinks that are sold around the world; however, some areas of production have been moved to China and Slovakia.

The company still has a big influence in the area with two local bars named in connection with it, The Carron Works in the Town Centre is an old cinema and now a J D Wetherspoon bar, and nearer the works is The Carronade, where one of our members, my friend Jean Helen Harley is a barmaid.

The pics show the old gates and company crest, and two carronades in nearby Stenhousemuir. If you see a red post box around there is a good chance it came from The Carron Works.

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so-lychee · 2 years ago

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I posted 7,089 times in 2022

That's 1,088 more posts than 2021!

1,102 posts created (16%)

5,987 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dramatic-and-damned

@fierreth-who

@adultkiddo

@loverrr-girl

I tagged 4,095 of my posts in 2022

Only 42% of my posts had no tags

#kerry replies - 910 posts

#prev tags - 390 posts

#you me and the beat - 338 posts

#ask games!! - 319 posts

#kerrycore - 144 posts

#stay for the night i’ll sell you a dream <3 - 139 posts

#freak the freak out - 107 posts

#morris <3 - 106 posts

#saving asap - 95 posts

#anons <;33 - 94 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

The Boiled Potatoes Cult

@f-i-t-z-s-i-m-m-o-n-s

@glittercrashhh

@sternenleserin

@engineering-kar-rahi-hu-aunty

@shydestinykryptonite

@taemin-jaemin

@ficpromptdealer

@myopicmeerkat

@ialmostdonothingnew

@deadpotayto

@rxined-rqses

@xionandpluto14

@akuutaguava

@stay-because-now-you-have-a-home

@anonymouse-the-asian

@dremyink06

@avocadosfromfigaro

@randomlyblue

@tfischaitea

In the boiled potatoes cult we eat boiled potatoes, write ballads about boiled potatoes and hit whoever says anything bad about us with boiled potatoes :D

Mkay so i made discord server too- no clue how it works tho-

79 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

OH WAIT

anyone here an air sign? like gemini, aquarius or libra??

80 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

OK BUT IS ANY BSDCULE PERSON HERE I HAVE AN AU IDEA

94 notes - Posted January 14, 2022

WAIT OKAY PEOPLE LISTEN

@akuutaguava @panic-at-the-gender @jesperisamfbicon @chuuy-a @lillybet-the-overlord @existential-dread-in-the-am @narcissisticvictorian @11nolongerhuman AU IDEA

✨F A K E D A T I N G✨

98 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

BSDCule History AU

@akuutaguava : that snobby rich kid who is like always sick and coughing on everyone and everyones like rushing to my aid but i yell at them to back off

@panic-at-the-gender

@glittercrashhh : Dying king who has no heir’s illegit child

@elvearryn : Local mysterious person who no one knows much about

@boombboi : the son of a duke who hates the king and secretly joins the other kingdom’s side and when he finally inherited his father’s title, he becomes a spy for the other kingdom

@chuuy-a : enemy kingdom’s runaway heir

@jesperisamfbicon : the bisexual princess that the king would like to leave the throne to but sOCiEty diSApPrOVes

@exi-stencil-ism

@the-unhinged-fangirl : that one enby with a witch-y aesthetic. will fuck you up but when it comes to killing that pig NoOoO she suddenly has morals now

@alexanderthepatrochillestrash

@adultkiddo : assassin that isn’t specifically from any kingdom, but will take orders from anyone in any kingdom

@narcissisticvictorian : A vampire that the king imprisoned

@lillybet-the-overlord : the rogue-ish, Fae child of a nobleman who runs away to become a pirate and writes memoirs about their adventures

@11nolongerhuman : may or may not be a sorceress in secret who is powerful enough to do anything

@eros-vogue

@stinkydeadmen : The sapphic enby in a big house in the forest

@anxious-limp-noodle : a bard who play songs that may or may not be secretly prophecies in disguise

@yukiko-otaku : a maid, who is the confidant of the vampire

@galacticfairytheweeb : a lonely closeted noble who recently debuted into society

@existential-dread-in-the-am : mild-mannered doctor from the apothecary who knows suspiciously much about everyone and everything. Secret history as a street thief before being taken in by this weird guy who taught them everything

@anonymouse-the-asian : the silent and chaotic scout with surprising soft side and undiagnosed adhd, a scout of no kingdoms come

pretty sure i forgot someone please tell me if i did-

I’ll add the rest of the roles later when you’ve decided them btw

156 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #MY BELOVED AUS I MISSED U SM #AND THE CULTS OMG

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risingsunresistance · 2 years ago

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Give me the Crimson Isle piglin lore, I haven't played hypixel Skyblock in years. I wish to hear about your Guys

lore time lore time >:) i'll give you Actual Lore and not just talking about how some of the npcs are kinda funny kjfdhjgk

one cool thing about their culture is this bit of dialogue :0 they send their dead away in the volcano. their last chief caused a massive eruption that brought the lava fish, so they believe those fish to be spiritually connected to their deceased

the crimson isles is home to the skeletons of the great dragons, including the calamity, the one that split the world and created the floating islands :D the piglins actually built their homes very close to these skeletons, hence the town name dragontail

scorn is the current chief of the town, ugo is his son who is training to be the next chief. and GOD THERE'S SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THEM... scorn is. fascinating. he's hoarding the sulfur from the town and imposing impossible taxes on the people. there's protests being held and everything, the town isnt happy at all. piglins have to keep eating sulfur or they'll lose their forms and become normal pigs again

poor ugo broke his leg and went without sulfur for a few days bc he was stuck out in the burning desert. when he shows back up, broken leg, scorn makes him continue with his training anyways... you take his place to help him out. ugo tells you he loves him, he's just Like That. later on ugo is out on a search mission and doesnt come back, scorn tells you to bring him home and says something along the lines of "please bring him home. he's my only son, i love him" LIKE... YOU SURE DONT SHOW IT??? god i wanna study them

i'm sure i had more to say but i've kinda forgotten where i was going with any of this, so here's a fun fact: the barbarian duke X was exiled from the town just bc he's too angry JDFKHSKG so i guess that makes him a mini-boss now (ignore the VI that's just my bestiary milestone)

#sb #asks #legacydreemurr #also wait hang on im rereading corm's dialogue... who is the queen #we. dont actually know who the queen is. WHO IS THE QUEEN #AND HOW ARE YOU COMMUNICATING WITH THE CURRENT-DAY DRAGONS BEIGN SUMMONED BY PLAYERS #WAIT A MINUTE-

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theangrycomet-art · 3 years ago

Photo

First Day of 6th Grade: Introductions

First Page >>> Next Page

So far so Good?

Lots of Kiddo designs for page 2 ^.^

OC Context/Summary for those who don’t want to dig through the character tags:

-//-

In order of Appearance:

Tyrone Fulbright: Son of Butch Jojo (last name JoHimson here) and Fanny Fulbright. He has pretty much 0 affiliation with his father excluding the annual mandatory visit to Townsville Penitentiary.

Danny Test Utonium: Eldest of Johnny Test and Buttercup Utonium. Heart of gold, dumb of a**, a Himbo in training. This is before his powers kick in so he’s a bit more confident.

Rueben Gilligan: Eldest of Abigail Lincoln and Hoagie Gilligan. The unoffical leader of “the Teddybears” as Becka has dubbed the three of them, he tends to be the first with a joke and a plan.

Courtney Green: Daughter of Ace Green (Gangreen Gang). Oily and slick, she just as likely to tear you down verbally as physically. Stupid loyal to her friends though. Mess with them, get a bat to the face. Before her updated wardrobe

Britney MacFarlane: Daughter of Mindy, think Heather Duke post getting power. She gets what she wants whether she has to grind others to dust to do it. Britney knows best after all.

Carter VonMarzian: Middle child and only son of Henrietta VonMarzipan and Eddward Vincent (i.e. Double D). Definitely the detective of the family, he’s quick to right a wrong or disprove conspiracy theories. Brit calls him “Pig Pen” in reference to his recent interest in Palynology. (Said interest causes his father high levels of distress, thx for nothing OCD)

Shang McCraigen: Fourth eldest of the McCraigen Clan and by far the sassiest. This is about a 2 years since he was fostered first fostered (and a few months since he was officially adopted) by Mac and Rachel. He’s picked up Mac’s ability to read the room- hence his checking in on Jordan.

Jordan Universe: Eldest daughter of Steven Universe and Connie Maheswaran. Given her family’s history with Kevin 11k, she’s not really sure how to feel about his son being at her school. Either way, it’s gonna be awkward for a little bit.

Violeta E. Salazar: Daughter of Caesar Salazar. Easily the smartest of the room, she tends to keep more to herself at this age- only really interacting with her cousin and his friends. Not super involved with alien politics/criminal activity, she doesn’t get the big whoop at the name Levin.

Roman Salazar: Son of Rex Salazar. Far more confident than when he was first starting off, he’s pretty calm in the school environment- if a bit bored. Like his cousin, he tends to learn more back at Providence between his Tio and his Aunt. Equally ignorant on the whole big deal on the name Levin, he’s indifferent.

Kaiden Kincaid: Son of KO. Normally really attentive in class- he kind of wiped himself out brawling with Boxbots the day before. This particular model of Robbie had some unexpected kicks to him.

Mildred “Millie” Billions Morbucks: The only child of Billy Billions and the younger daughter of Princess Morbucks, Millie’s got a lot on her plate to be the best. The youngest in the class at age 8, she is the child prodigy her father had hoped for. The only reason she isn’t at the private school is (pettily enough) that both her parents want to prove she’s smarter than their rivals kids. She is VERY familiar with the capabilities of a Levin so she VERY much would like to stay on Devlin’s good side on the opposite side of the classroom.

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bellamer · 3 years ago

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The Lords + Duke as songs on my playlist:

Karl Heisenberg:

Seasons (Waiting On You) by Future Islands, BADBADNOTGOOD remix

What You Waiting For ? By Franz Ferdinand

Pisse by Fahrradsattel

The Devil Wears A Suit And Tie by Colter Wall

Wrong by MAX

Mighty by Caravan Palace

Lone Digger by Caravan Palace

Lay Down by Caravan Palace

Source by Fever The Ghost

Put it Together by Langhorne Slim & The Law

Fight Dirty by Mischief Brew

Wild Side by ALI

That Man by Caro Emerald

Verbatim by Mother Mother

Powerful by Major Lazer

Womanizer by Franz Ferdinand

Machistador by -M-

I Periodically Lull by Mississippi Voss

You Don't Exist by Von Smith

Onto Something by Von Something

No You Girls by Franz Ferdinand

Can I Really ? By Von Smith

Nothing Like This by Von Smith

Simple by Von Smith

Crazy by Seal

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

Roundabout by Yes

Come And Get Your Love by Redbone

Rock it For Me by Caravan Palace

Panic by Caravan Palace

Maniac by Caravan Palace

Cotton Heads by Caravan Palace

Clash by Caravan Palace

Trust Me from The Devil's Carnival soundtrack

Shovel and Bone from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

Down At The Midnight Rectory from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

After the Fall from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

A Left Foot Trapped in Sensual Seduction/Falling Into a Trap With a Sexy Lure from the Hellsing RAID soundtrack

Survival on the Street of Insincerity from the Hellsing RAID soundtrack

The Japanese Alphabet Road with Chinese Bellflower's Sweet Smell from the Hellsing soundtrack

Corner of Sighs from the Hellsing soundtrack

Hatred Guy of Sinfulness from the Hellsing RUINS soundtrack

Gospel of The Throttle by Minutes Till Midnight

Lady Dimitrescu:

Supersonics by Caravan Palace

April by Caravan Palace

Cosmic Girl by Jamiroquai

The Prize by Von Smith

Sara Smile by Hall & Oates

Killer Queen by Queen

Black Betty by Caravan Palace

Jolie Coquine by Caravan Palace

She Wants Me Dead by Cazzette

About You by Caravan Palace feat. Charles X

Shoot Him Down by Alice Francis

All Men Are Pigs by Studio Killers

Hitting on All Sevens from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

Donna Beneviento:

Haunted Heart by Christina Aguilera

Love and Truth by Mother Mother

Many Different Worlds by Von Smith

Long Ago Maybe by Von Smith

Wonderland by Caravan Palace

Suzy by Caravan Palace

Kiss The Girls from The Devil's Carnival soundtrack

Salvatore Moreau:

Weak For Your Love by Thee Sacred Souls

The Night Begins to Shine by BER

Not Good Enough from Ducktales

Touchtone Telephone by Lemon Demon

Carnival of Life by Von Smith

All of Them:

Stalker's Tango by Autoheart

The Song with Five Names a.k.a. Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

Out of My Mind by Jamie Berry

Don't Stop by Foster the People

Mr. Capgras Encounters A Secondhand Vanity by Will Wood and The Tapeworms

Ghost by Mystery Skulls

Hellbent by Mystery Skulls

Fire Treasure from the Lupin the Third soundtrack

In All My Dreams I Drown from The Devil's Carnival soundtrack

My Time by Bo En

Comics by Caravan Palace

Qui De Nous Deux by -M-

Everybody Wants To Rule The World by Tears For Fears

Do It All The Time by I Don't Know How But They Found Me

Dramophone by Caravan Palace

Aftermath by Caravan Palace

Midnight by Swingrowers

Tangled Up by Caro Emerald

All Aboard from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia Soundtrack

Alleluia from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

Mercy in The Cathedral/Bodhisattva Cathedral from the Hellsing soundtrack

The Duke:

Money by Mystery Skulls

Je Dis Aime by -M-

Kiss From A Rose by Seal

The Mystery of Mister V by Von Smith

I Can't Go For That by Hall & Oates

La Caravane by Caravan Palace

Dragons by Caravan Palace

Beautiful Stranger from The Devil's Carnival Soundtrack

Grief from The Devil's Carnival soundtrack

Bells of the Black Sunday from The Devil's Carnival Alleluia soundtrack

A Penny For A Tale from The Devil's Carnival soundtrack

#resident evil village #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg #salvatore moreau #donna beneviento #alcina demitriscu #lady dimitrescu #re8 the duke #the duke re8 #lord moreau #lord heisenberg #lady beneviento #my music taste is a mess

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brookstonalmanac · 2 years ago

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Events 3.17

45 BC – In his last victory, Julius Caesar defeats the Pompeian forces of Titus Labienus and Pompey the Younger in the Battle of Munda. 180 – Commodus becomes sole emperor of the Roman Empire at the age of eighteen, following the death of his father, Marcus Aurelius. 455 – Petronius Maximus becomes, with support of the Roman Senate, emperor of the Western Roman Empire; he forces Licinia Eudoxia, the widow of his predecessor, Valentinian III, to marry him. 1337 – Edward, the Black Prince is made Duke of Cornwall, the first Duchy in England. 1400 – Turko-Mongol emperor Timur sacks Damascus. 1776 – American Revolution: The British Army evacuates Boston, ending the Siege of Boston, after George Washington and Henry Knox place artillery in positions overlooking the city. 1805 – The Italian Republic, with Napoleon as president, becomes the Kingdom of Italy, with Napoleon as King of Italy. 1824 – The Anglo-Dutch Treaty is signed in London, dividing the Malay archipelago. As a result, the Malay Peninsula is dominated by the British, while Sumatra and Java and surrounding areas are dominated by the Dutch. 1842 – The Female Relief Society of Nauvoo is formally organized with Emma Smith as president. 1860 – The First Taranaki War begins in Taranaki, New Zealand, a major phase of the New Zealand Wars. 1861 – The Kingdom of Italy is proclaimed. 1862 – The first railway line of Finland between cities of Helsinki and Hämeenlinna, called Päärata, is officially opened. 1891 – SS Utopia collides with HMS Anson in the Bay of Gibraltar and sinks, killing 562 of the 880 passengers on board. 1921 – The Second Polish Republic adopts the March Constitution. 1942 – Holocaust: The first Jews from the Lvov Ghetto are gassed at the Belzec death camp in what is today eastern Poland. 1945 – The Ludendorff Bridge in Remagen, Germany, collapses, ten days after its capture. 1948 – Belgium, France, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and the United Kingdom sign the Treaty of Brussels, a precursor to the North Atlantic Treaty establishing NATO. 1950 – Researchers at the University of California, Berkeley announce the creation of element 98, which they name "californium". 1957 – A plane crash in Cebu, Philippines kills Philippine President Ramon Magsaysay and 24 others. 1958 – The United States launches the first solar-powered satellite, which is also the first satellite to achieve a long-term orbit. 1960 – U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower signs the National Security Council directive on the anti-Cuban covert action program that will ultimately lead to the Bay of Pigs Invasion. 1963 – Mount Agung erupts on Bali killing more than 1,100 people. 1966 – Off the coast of Spain in the Mediterranean, the DSV Alvin submarine finds a missing American hydrogen bomb. 1968 – As a result of nerve gas testing by the U.S. Army Chemical Corps in Skull Valley, Utah, over 6,000 sheep are found dead. 1969 – Golda Meir becomes the first female Prime Minister of Israel. 1973 – The Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph Burst of Joy is taken, depicting a former prisoner of war being reunited with his family, which came to symbolize the end of United States involvement in the Vietnam War. 1979 – The Penmanshiel Tunnel collapses during engineering works, killing two workers. 1985 – Serial killer Richard Ramirez, aka the "Night Stalker", commits the first two murders in his Los Angeles murder spree. 1988 – A Colombian Boeing 727 jetliner, Avianca Flight 410, crashes into a mountainside near the Venezuelan border killing 143. 1988 – Eritrean War of Independence: The Nadew Command, an Ethiopian army corps in Eritrea, is attacked on three sides by military units of the Eritrean People's Liberation Front in the opening action of the Battle of Afabet. 1992 – Israeli Embassy attack in Buenos Aires: Car bomb attack kills 29 and injures 242. 1992 – A referendum to end apartheid in South Africa is passed 68.7% to 31.2%. 2000 – Five hundred and thirty members of the Ugandan cult Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God die in a fire, considered to be a mass murder or suicide orchestrated by leaders of the cult. Elsewhere another 248 members are later found dead. 2003 – Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs Robin Cook, resigns from the British Cabinet in disagreement with government plans for the 2003 invasion of Iraq. 2004 – Unrest in Kosovo: More than 22 are killed and 200 wounded. Thirty-five Serbian Orthodox shrines in Kosovo and two mosques in Serbia are destroyed. 2016 – Rojava conflict: At a conference in Rmelan, the Movement for a Democratic Society declares the establishment of the Democratic Federation of Northern Syria.

#Events

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spicycreativity · 3 years ago

Text

Good Omens but Make It Moceit (unfinished)

I said I would do it and I tried very, very hard but it's not looking like I'm going to be able to finish because ✨mental health reasons✨

Here's what I have so far (about 8k words)

EDEN

It is a little-known theological fact that the invention of the hypothetical coincided nearly perfectly with the invention of the thunderstorm, the latter being a rather effable invention of God, all things considered, and the former springing forth from the troubled mind of Phaedaël, the angel of the Eastern gate. The first drops of rain pattered to the ground and he curved one wing upward to protect his head. Addressing his companion, he said, "I'm sorry, but I don't think I should be talking to you."

"Oh, and what a shame," cooed the serpent, who hadn't yet chosen a name, "and here I was so hoping you'd wring the details out of me."

"Oh," said the angel, considering this. He shifted uncomfortably, and made a face like he'd just been forced to swallow something bitter. "Well… What did you say to her?"

"Don't patronize me," said the serpent. He paused. "I don't suppose you could enlighten me, angel, on what's so bad about knowing the difference between good and evil?"

"They broke the rules," said the angel firmly.

"I don't suppose it matters that the rule was arbitrary?" The angel drew in a breath to reply, but the serpent cut him off, looking him up and down suddenly as though seeing him for the first time. A sly smile tugged at his lips. "Lose something?"

"No!" said the angel, far too quickly.

"Oh, come on. Lying doesn't become an angel."

"It's not a lie!" the angel insisted.

"Well, then. Please do tell me what happened to that flaming sword of yours."

The rain began to fall in earnest. A thunderclap sounded overhead. The angel said, "What if you had an opportunity to help someone--"

"What if?" repeated the serpent incredulously.

"What if," persisted the angel, "someone could benefit from something you were supposed to have, but weren't really using?"

The serpent began to laugh. "Don't tell me you gave it--" he gestured into the distance-- "to them?" A few more hysterical cackles escaped his chest, but he swallowed the rest down at the anguished look on the angel's face. "Oh, relax. If you did it, it can't have been bad, can it? Angels don't do bad."

"And demons don't do good?" the angel looked at the serpent with uncertainty.

"Oh, yes," purred the serpent, "we're wicked to the core."

The angel went silent, considering this.

The thunder roared, the rain came down harder, the serpent remained, and the angel very gently lifted his other wing to keep his companion dry.

Who, after all, prayed for the Devil?

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

God (God)

Logan (Patton's overseer)

Satan (A Fallen Angel; The Fallen Angel, one might say)

Remus (Janus' overseer)

Janus (An angel who did not so much fall as back away muttering "I'm really going to do it this time; no one try to stop me")

Roman (a lover)

Virgil (an Antichrist)

Dog (hellhound, hellraiser, and sleeping partner)

21 YEARS AGO

In the Valendale Regional Military Cemetery lurked a demon.

Well, he lurked as best as he was able, given that the ambiance was all off for lurking. He had fudged the timing a little, being unaccustomed to the nature of the passage of time on Earth, and had accidentally arrived just in time to witness a beautiful sunrise over Florida's eastern coast. Half the sky was a magnificent golden ocean with waves of orange and pink. The military cemetery had also been a mistake, though this one bothered him less. While he had been hoping for something a little more ancient and decrepit, he soon began to console himself by playing hopscotch on the clean, flat grave markers, delighting in the muddy bootprints he left behind him.

Besides, he liked the way 'military cemetery' rolled off the tongue.

When he inevitably got bored of desecrating graves, he threw himself down in the grass and began to look for worms and bugs with which he might decorate his uniform.

This was Remus, a Duke of Hell.

He found a worm and began to speak to it, watching it writhe around in his palm. "I'm so bored."

He spent a good few seconds coming up with a voice to use to represent the worm, then asked himself in a high-pitched squeak, "Why's that, your

Grace?"

Remus cupped the worm in his hands and rolled over, nearly kicking the basket he'd brought with him. This bothered him less than it rightfully should have, considering what was inside. He only gave a blithe "Oops!" and returned his attention to the worm. "That little subordinate of mine is making me wait!"

The worm said, "You should punish him!"

"Good idea!" Remus exclaimed, stroking the worm with his fingertip. "What do you think, should I spank him? Make him kiss my boots? Or--" He cut himself off, having just caught sight of flashing red and blue lights in the near distance. Sirens had been echoing on and off throughout the night, but they were very near now. "There's my bitch!" he said with undisguised affection. He put the worm in his pocket and stood up.

The Interstate Highway System was ostensibly developed under the command of United States President Dwight D Eisenhower in order to facilitate the movement of personal use vehicles, public transportation vehicles, and self-propelled field artillery across the country. This project, as anyone who has ever attempted to traverse the Interstate Highway System can tell you, was a catastrophic failure. The criss-crossing network of freeways, highways, turnpikes, and byways is frequently backed up with bumper-to-bumper traffic.

What most hapless travelers of the Interstate Highway System do not know is that the cloverleaf interchange, one of the most commonly-used interchanges in city planning, is also the exact same shape as the sigil det in the written language of the Church of the Black Clock. Written correctly, it means "black fire upon my enemies, devour their souls!" (Note: Written incorrectly, it reads "kneel, gay men.") Every day, commuters slow traffic via their own ill-wishes on fellow drivers, granted life by the sigil. (It is a known fact that every driver on the freeway considers every other driver on the freeway an enemy).

It was one of Janus' most diabolical achievements. He was quite proud of himself, not only in the end result but in his methods. While a lesser demon might have had to go to the trouble of hands-on work: hacking computers, making bribes, and, Satan-forbid, possibly even sneaking out at night to move marker pegs by hand, all Janus had had to do was talk. He was quite good at getting people to do his bidding once he got his foot in the door.

Something Janus had inexplicably failed to account for was the fact that he, too, would occasionally need to use the freeway system. Such was the curse of Janus' great evil deeds: more often than not, they slalomed between his legs like a wily terrier and bit him squarely on the ass.

The irony snuck up on him sometimes.

Janus had dark hair and high cheekbones. His eyes and tongue were really only unusual if you looked at them twice, and he had a tendency to hiss when he forgot himself. He looked far too young, far too handsome, and far too svelte for the 1957 Cadillac Deville he was driving, bearing no resemblance at all to the sort of wealthy, elderly man who deals in classic cars.

He checked his watch, which also seemed too old for him, and glanced at the rearview mirror. Normally he enjoyed the minor thrill of having cops on his tail, but his exit was coming up and he did have someplace to be.

What he did next lacked imagination, but it got the job done: With one complicated hand gesture, he turned both officers into pigs and gently glided their cars to the shoulder. Then he turned on his blinker and took his exit.

Remus watched the police lights disappear with impassivity, bouncing on his toes. When Janus finally emerged through the wrought iron gates, having bent reality to get past them, he raised his arms and shouted, "Hail Satan!"

Janus acknowledged this with two lifted fingers. "So sorry I'm late," he said, bringing his hand smoothly upward to tip his hat, "it's just that I don't value your time in comparison to mine." The sarcastic inflection was so light the words could very well be sincere. But of course Janus always meant every word of what he'd said. (Now that's

sarcastic inflection)!

Remus gave a feral grin. Janus was his favorite subordinate. "Wanna see my worm?"

Millennia of acquaintanceship had freed Janus from the notion that he needed to be polite to Remus. The demon was as twisted as they came and nearly immune to flattery. "As much as I'd love to, shouldn't we get this over with?"

"Yeah, yeah." Remus looked around. "Hm, now where did I put the basket?"

The basket was currently sitting atop the headstone for a General T. Pratchett. Janus spied it first and indicated it to Remus with a flicker of his yellow irises, careful not to let a trace of his hesitancy show on his face. He didn't even let himself hesitate when Remus, who had hopscotched over to the basket and then back over to Janus, thrust it out to him.

"So this is really it," Janus murmured, wrapping both gloved hands around the handle of the basket. Then he began to work. "What a high honor."

"So they say," Remus said.

"Remus, be honest with me." Brief pause, just enough for Remus to wonder at the weight in Janus' voice. "Did you pull some strings to ensure I was the one who got this task? Do I owe you a favor?"

"Are you about to thank me?" Remus asked, tilting his head. Addressing the worm in his breast pocket, he said, "Listen up, this should be good."

"So you did?"

"Of course not."

Here it was. After a few seconds of rallying, his ace: "So why me?"

"You've been in the field the longest." Remus' grin widened to an impossible degree and he grabbed Janus by the lapels of his immaculate suit jacket, coming nose to nose. "Some of us think you're getting soft."

Janus smiled back, the unblinking predator's grin of a snake about to strike, and hefted the basket. "We'll see about that." And he extricated his lapels from Remus' grasp and turned to leave.

"You didn't say hi to my worm!" Remus called after him. Janus did not reply. Remus fished the worm out of his pocket. "How rude."

"The nerve of some demons," agreed the worm.

The Cadillac's speedometer hit 110. Janus fumbled for the volume knob with a shaking hand. The radio was permanently set to 98.5 The Jukebox, which only ever seemed to play Queen.

"Shit," Janus muttered as majestic panned harmonies began to emanate from his speakers. "Shit-shit-shit. Why now? Why me?"

BECAUSE, came the harmonic vocals, YOU'VE EARNED IT.

Janus bit down on his tongue to keep from swearing. Communication via electronics had been another one of his ideas, hoping he'd be issued a BlackBerry or a Nokia. But no. Instead, upper management just cut into whatever he was listening to at the time and twisted it. "Thank you very much, my lord," he said, working very very hard to instill his voice with the proper amount of unctuous ooze.

THIS IS IMPORTANT, JANUS.

"Yes, my lord."

THIS IS THE BIG ONE.

"Yes, my lord."

AND YOU UNDERSTAND, JANUS, THAT IF THIS GOES WRONG, EVERYONE INVOLVED WILL BE PUNISHED. EVEN YOU. ESPECIALLY YOU.

"I understand."

GOOD. YOUR INSTRUCTIONS.

And suddenly, he just knew. A new Queen song began to play on 98.5 The Jukebox, and Janus hissed and slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel. "What was the point of all that, then?" he demanded of Freddie Mercury.

Freddie Mercury replied, "Don't stop me now! 'Cause I'm havin' a good time!"

Janus rolled his eyes and changed lanes without signaling. He had been instructed to head straight to a hospital on the edge of town. It was technically in an unincorporated community called Misty, but for all intents and purposes, Misty was Valendale. If he kept up this pace (the needle of the speedometer now closer to 130), he could be there in five minutes. Joy.

It had all been going so well, too. He'd really hit his stride in the 21st century, and now here was Hell pulling the rug out from under his shiny Armani brogues. Armageddon. What a nightmare.

In the Publix baking aisle, two angels stood side by side. One of them was Phaedaël, who had lately adopted the name 'Patton,' feeling it suited his corporation.

The other had been christened 'Loirea' once upon a time. As Heaven began to

modernize, Loirea had been the first among the angels to adapt to the changes being made. He had even taken on the name 'Logan' as a show of good faith.

Both of the angels were human-shaped, having discovered early on that it's much easier to get things done when you have limbs as opposed to flaming wheels of eyes and animal heads poking out at odd angles.

Both wore glasses. Patton's glasses were round, wire-rimmed things, of the sort usually found on kindly old librarians and stern but fair headmasters of all-boy's boarding schools. Logan's glasses were made of shiny black plastic and looked like they could draw blood if strategically applied to a sufficiently tender area.

Patton was, at the moment, holding a bag a semolina flour under one arm and awkwardly attempting to explain himself. "It's called 'cooking.' It's actually really clever, you take ingredients and combine them--"

"Why?" Logan interrupted

"Oh, uh, well," Patton hesitated, shamefaced, "it makes food."

"Eating," Logan said in such a forceful tone of dismissal that three boxes of brownie mix turned to ash behind him. "I don't understand why you waste your time."

"It helps me blend in," Patton said with a sheepish smile. Everything from his shoes to his shirt was a shade of white or blue; he'd never been comfortable dealing in gray areas.

"I see." Logan adjusted his tie. "Well, I'll let you get back to it in a moment. I just came to pass on a message: Our intel has given us reason to believe that Armageddon is underway."

"Oh," said Patton vaguely, staring at a bag of something labeled 'pasta flour.' "Oh!"

"We'd like for you to keep an eye on Janus. He's a demon; he's on a similar mission to yours."

"I, uh," Patton swallowed hard, staring right through the pasta flour, "I've heard of him."

"Good." Logan put his hand on Patton's shoulder and looked him dead in the eye. "Patton."

"Y-yes?"

"When I say 'keep an eye on' I mean I want you to watch him. It's a figure of speech."

Patton nodded, forcing his mouth to curve into a pale imitation of a smile. Logan nodded back and vanished.

"Well," Patton said to the pasta flour, "fiddlesticks."

Brother Emile Analogical had been raised a Satanist. There is no such thing as an orthodox Satanist, but if there was, that would be the kind of Satanism that Brother Emile's parents had practiced. He had graduated with unspectacular grades, joined the Paralleling Order of Saint Botild, and promptly moved from Nebraska to Florida: more specifically, to the unincorporated community of Misty in the greater Valendale area. The climate had taken some getting used to, not to mention the long, black robes he had to wear, but he had survived the transition and found himself a good fit for the Paralleling Order.

Note: Saint Botild Comminalitus of Malmö was reputed to have been martyred in the middle of the fifth century, for reasons unclear. It is said that the Lord granted him the power to draw parallels and connections between topics; his last words are reported to have been "This reminds me of that one story about Loptr, when he--" Then his assailants lit the pyre.

At the moment, Brother Emile was thinking about the tall, dark figure stalking down the hallways at him holding a basket, likening him to a Scooby-Doo villain, the way the shadows seemed to stick to him.

"Jinkies!" said Brother Emile once the figure was in earshot.

Janus raised an eyebrow at him over the tops of his sunglasses. "Hello."

Unphased by the cold greeting, Brother Emile pointed to the basket. "Is that the fairly odd baby?" he asked in a high-pitched coo that indicated he already suspected the answer.

"No," said Janus, rolling his eyes. "It's a basket of kittens I saved from drowning. Aren't you wondering why I'm all wet?"

"You're," Brother Emile started, and Janus braced himself, fearing the last frayed thread of his patience might snap if the sentence ended with the word 'dry,' "a Mister Grumpy Gills, aren't you?'

Janus thrust the basket at Brother Emile and did not dignify him with any answer more notable than a slight thinning of

his lips.

Brother Emile drew back the blankets and began to babble at the sleeping Antichrist. Janus took the opportunity to flee.

"Look at you," Brother Emile said happily. "Sleeping in a pic-a-nic basket, huh, Boo-boo?"

After a few more moments of cooing, babytalk, and Boomerang references, he remembered himself and found a wheeled bassinet for the baby Antichrist.

There is a game, common among carnies and street magicians in which a ball is hidden under cups and shuffled around. Unbeknownst to himself, the two sets of new parents, and all the friars at St Botild's, Brother Emile Analogical was about to become a mark.

And Hell had had nothing to do with it.

same rate, and good and evil had a knack for balancing themselves out in the grand scheme of things. And this left Janus and Patton free to pursue other passions, which somehow resulted in the two of them spending a great deal of time in each other's company.

silence. "It's not even that I disagree with you," he said apologetically. "It's just, well, you know, I'm not allowed to disobey."

his hazelnut hot chocolate. "What's a shame?"

Janus nodded. "Roman Dowling."

Roman was about to turn 21, and lived his life according to the belief that everyone over the age of 30 was, in some degree, an 'elder').

wanna do that."

"Roman!"

people; every social interaction, no matter how minor, always kept his body as tense as wire.

#sanders sides #moceit #this is a pastiche meaning it's not my usual writing style #basically i deliberately wrote in the style of pratchett/gaiman #just in case you were wondering lmao #anyway you can bug me about finishing it if the urge strikes you; i'm not one of those people who gets mad about stuff like that #it certainly won't hurt #i really do want to finish but at the moment im not really in a place where i feel like i can make art #spicypost #spicywrites #i guess i'll throw in some character tags #janus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders

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